The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 336 - Women and Transportation

Episode Date: July 17, 2018

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by a surprise guest to discuss the history of women in the US and transportation. SOURCESTOUR INFO MERCH BY JAMES FOSDIKE

when you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn you could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it that in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think find out how much at air bnb.ca This is the dollop on the all-things comedy network now dollop which is of course an American history podcast each week I

Dave Anthony read a story from American history to a guy that I've met okay his name is gareth reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about because he's lazy yeah else he would know yep that's right if I tried and we have a special yeah I'm the fucking hippo guy okay you both present sick arguments and Dave we should point out that we have a lovely guest in studio today yeah Pam Reynolds joining the dollop again mother just no name how about no name no I can't call you no name that's not very nice how are things over in we from France okay yes from France who won the world cup today

incidentally oh my boys France your boys here we go Dave likes winners proven whoever's up top he's like uh-huh no I wanted Belgium to win but that didn't happen yeah so uh-huh sucker 500 BC what is that the earliest we've gone yeah it might be it's got to be close it might be well it's between 500 BC and 300 AD so anywhere in there oh Christ Christ you know me I'm kind of a stickler for that time so but it but we you know the Christ had a bad time in there and that time zone but mostly you know help the time Roman stuff right okay a little bit Greek good guys the wandering womb theory came to be what

yeah okay this was the belief that a displaced uterus was the cause of many medical problems and women have they tried ritual so I'm talking about okay okay so okay if the uterus moved up it would cause sluggishness a lack of strength and vertigo if the uterus moved up it went up in the body right like you'd be dizzy or lungs or whatever sure if the uterus hit your lungs you'd be tired you know you get Virgo you be like I can't stand up I've got uterus in my throat again quote and the women is pained in the veins on each side of the head okay so I guess in headache your uterus goes up to get a headache so and

how are they measuring the uterus going up hmm how how are they aware that the uterus is going up they do a poke or whatever they're just poking and going like this woman's uterus is up yeah all right these are doctors they're old old-timey doctors those are the best kind if the uterus went down there would be a strong sense of choking a loss of speech and sensibility and a very sudden incredible death okay so if your uterus goes down so if your uterus goes up you're you're dizzy and you don't really know what you're saying and then if it goes down you're probably gonna check it out right yeah okay have you

found out to be the case definitely yeah definitely mine's going down right now and an ancient Greek medical text quote in the middle of the bodies of women lies the womb a female organ oh boy closely resembling an resembling an animal what animal a jellyfish for it moves itself hither and tither in the abdomen also upwards in a direct line to below the throat okay so in doctor speak the woman has a sort of gazelle ish piece of skin inside of her that is moving down in Oregon and it's moving all around and it's causing her trauma in whichever way it hokey pokey that's correct you're basically a doctor right

now hey I told you that amount of something you are you're really really scientific yeah I can tell thank you well done it also moves to the right or left either to the liver or the spleen and it likewise is subject depending on who's got weed yeah also falls downwards and in a word it is all together erratic sure okay so essentially wombs are vibrating they're loose cannons right okay they're just sort of bouncing around yeah like they're not they should have been tethered but apparently they weren't right so it's just basically the woman's organs are a pinball machine and the womb is the pinball that's right right

okay it delights also in fragrant smells and advances towards them okay so so it's not something nice a uterus will go for it sure so if you take you take brownies out of the oven a uterus is like oh he must smell the cookies yeah that's total uterus okay that's probably why he's coming up to get the smell yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no just a hand comes out of your mouth don't forget a microphone going down it doesn't like the smell of the food right right it has an aversion to foul smells sure and flees from them and on the whole the womb is like an animal within an animal right so the sorry just to be clear the other

animal is yes yes okay so the the uterus is an animal within the woman who is also an animal yeah okay so naturally no one challenged this brilliant idea for centuries and eventually it found its way to a place called America okay good that doesn't surprise me by the way that's pretty much what 35% of the country believes now anyway right it hasn't changed yeah you keep that away from her otherwise her womb's gonna come out and bite your hand don't take the brandies out I gotta get the ladies into the cellar oh no hurry I'll put Mrs. Fields out now these women are gonna be up all night with their animal wombs and

their animal bodies damn but you're gonna kill my wife here comes her no shut that cellar door the unit are coming up from a book organ diseases of women published in Philadelphia in 1877 light years at this point yeah I mean we're finally some actual rational thinking we're a good century and a half along yeah sorry thousand fifteen hundred years along the virgin womb is a very small affair what and keeps out of the way and out of reckoning the normal virgin uterus balloons about within the abdomen out of harm's way it is light and hollow and so long as it is in this happy state of

unawakened life it is without trouble and giving none okay so we've gone from the uterus of being a wild rabbit dog yes to it now is basically Neo in the Matrix yeah I mean yeah I mean if that's what you mean by ballooning well it likes to stay out of its way you know if the uterus doesn't understand its world then it just chills that's right right it's only when the organ gets ill and large or displaced and thus troublesome that it becomes the object of medicine so wait wait only one so big it's a problem yeah right big or or moves around like we talked about with the Greeks or the Romans right then

then it's a problem okay right so there is a place swells that's a problem yeah you know would that not be the case with most things that are in your body yeah but right yeah okay yep sure okay there were many things that could be considered harmful to the uterus doctors men a fall uh-huh examples but I figured it was flubber and examples included quote slipping on the pavement on a piece of orange peel oh no someone peeled an orange over here doof being thrown from a carriage sure oh no there's a bunch of oranges the horses and tripping while going down the stairs look as those could all harm the uterus

right those would harm again I feel like why are we well why are we holding the uterus to this specific spotlight just what causes all other things to happen is that right yeah so it's sort of the iron man heart yeah there are other things like excessive and tiring walks long mountain expeditions sorry these are side effects these are no what what causes the uterus to be displaced okay no wonder mine's a bit poorly today I did a long walk oh no medical experts say young women should be gradually introduced so their wombs could be accustomed to the harshness of a tiring walk but even then it was considered a

great risk but they've all there's always been this aversion to women walking yeah this is just another walk that means they're going somewhere and good well there's someone's gonna tell him something that they're not supposed to know you should be sitting down on the couch put your fingers in your ears until I talk again another medical journal said wombs could be damaged from climbing a hill now that means a room within a person not just a womb directly sort of the one yeah yeah on its own no no the womb would not go out on its own it's left me goodbye I went up a towering mountain I love life also dancing running

jumping sneezing coughing vomiting and holding children in their arms okay so basically sitting is what you should be doing that was yeah unless you're sitting with a child in your arms right sorry yeah right we're sneezing uh-huh they're throwing up or coughing right don't get sick don't move don't dance don't have fun don't go on walks don't go in carriages don't use the stairs right pretty simple list one doctor reported a case of a woman slipping and falling which do so dislocated the ovary is that okay see now we're getting in I mean I can't poke holes but dislocating it okay no normal not a thing not a thing okay

he's been the doctor just snaps it back in place like rigs from the weapon sure mom you know what I'm talking about and they are do definitely the doctor operated and remove the ovary other than having fallen he said the ovary appeared healthy okay so once he got the ovary out he's like hey what do you know it's fine that looks great all right well sorry but uh well it fell well you took it out of me yeah you know the problem is part fortunately yeah someone removed your ovary that was you and there's no coming back from that well you did it so I hate to be the guy who has to deliver the bad news but here I am in this

position you did the bad news you did the bad news I'm gonna get you through this get me through what the thing that you did I think what we need to do is something radical like you not be a doctor we have to take the other ovary out are you a doctor no did you were you under the impression I was a doctor yeah no no I'm an aspiring basketball player I'm here to see a doctor too but I just what is basketball it's a game that's new something I'm tinkering around with okay anyway yeah yeah I've always wanted to be a doctor did you leave did I leave would you I won't okay I got to see the doctor but to kill time maybe I

take that other one out no we're good okay I've only got the much of them with your eyes no okay boy that'd be a great monster couldn't you put the other couldn't you put that ovary back in if you're a doctor oh that's interesting David I'm gonna say no back then I'm gonna say no I'm gonna say at this point they just don't give a shit yeah that they just won't try because they're just like we got one out and all right sorry lady shouldn't have been walking that's right it was a bit of a punishment really well going to the doctor was a bit of a thought about not being a lady yeah that's the problem and there was no

anesthetic was that it no we just went so to put it back in would have really hurt oh and yeah and to take it out yeah they're the whole thing's a nightmare it's just spinning nightmare compounding problem yeah uterus is were also affected by exposure to cold or sudden temperature change sure so are people and it got worse the mine cold also damaged the uterus the mind of the mine coal well they called it the mine cold quote does he mean coal mine he's right here morbid irritation of the uterus is induced by by sexual imaginings whether arising spontaneously or generated by improper and loose

conversation by the reading of romances novels plays or books still more impure and by attendance at the ballroom and the theater the amount of control we desired I mean we've almost covered everything someone can do yeah so far literally again the only thing you can do is sit and have your fingers in your ears yeah so you can't talk about sex you can't think about sex you can't read about sex anything about sex will cause you an irritating walking around I would say no oranges because it sounds like they're just leaving hazards all over the place yeah so the sex the reading and learning about sex

stuff was bad for the whole woman are you starting a car that's the uterus okay it made the brand sensitive and irritable the uterus was the most irritated but sexual thoughts quote the uterus especially it becomes morbidly excitable okay so so the in other when you when you start talking about when you start thinking about sexual thoughts your uterus goes fucking if your uterus like Casper the ghost yes so it is a living breathing being yeah like an animal like an animal like a wild animal inside like a dog inside of you that knows English and is horned up that's it and that's what your uterus is and the

second that it hears anything rebal their sexual well guess what it wants to come out and party and then when it's out it's smoking cigarettes it's looking to do bumps a yeah you know I mean it's looking to part hey and don't let it find another uterus yeah then you're gonna have to you to right that's right just fucking their brains out what and then all of a sudden they're thinking about sex and then they're gonna have a baby uterus wait and then all these eventually gonna have to go back inside a you woman all because you wanted to think about a dick so you're a doctor again I'm inventing basketball I'm not

misleading you I've been very up front going on about uterus is I love the things I keep thinking you might be a dog and ran away when I was a kid okay I had a beautiful uterus in my yard I'm gonna I'm gonna move on with my story I used to give it fish heads also sitting was bad for the uterus okay so now you're allowed to hover in this sort of float like state water's good for you just floating in water for the rest of your life could be the move turned out things like a long continued use of a sewing machine and playing the piano would cause womb problems so moving and not moving were problems right so your option is basically await your death from your uterus yeah yeah okay so obviously

all all these issues made transportation a problem oh god yeah horses must have been kid considered to be like a womb apocalypse if you think about it okay right a side saddle is considered the only accept acceptable way for a woman to ride since the 1300s because of the belief that riding a stride would break the hymen and then they'd have all kinds of uterus problems had they ever thought about letting a woman do things and then finding out what happened what like then hear me out cuz I don't understand no no no this doesn't make sense hear me out cuz I know this sounds crazy but instead of just assuming that every

time a woman right was on a horse that her hymen was gonna break right maybe let a woman ride a horse you lost me okay so and I understand this is heady so instead of just assuming that something bad is going to happen if a woman gets on a horse yeah yeah you know because again you have a you know if you're picturing this you probably have a penis and you don't know what it's like yeah and so you're just assuming that there's the woman is going to just shatter her hymen or that her womb is gonna you know come out of her mouth and just start to you know take the stirrups and just want to see ever yeah

hemorrhaging yeah why not just let her ride the horse are you lost me so okay so let her ride the horse for a little while you put her on the horse and see what happens so put her on the horse and see what happens yeah you lost me but put her on the horse let her go on the horse trying to protect her from I understand but instead of protecting her see what happens why you know just sort of try it with one woman I'm gonna call put one woman what I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do is call the police if you continue okay yeah no I just it's crazy I know it's crazy yeah well I've been drinking like you might be a witch so

woman had to ride side settle which meant she could not apply leg pressure to the horse or signal with her thighs knees or heels she did not drop her hands to turn or stop a runaway horse sure so again it looked great he looked fucking awesome and then the hymen's fine and the uterus is all good yeah yeah and again don't try to control the horse just let it do its thing till it that's right let the horse horse ride around you try anything too dangerous your uterus is gonna come out again a typical accident was written up in the Baltimore star quote a young woman received an injury in the field that

may make her a cripple for life the side saddle she was riding carried her under her horse when it fell down her spine was injured and her condition was so critical that for several days she was not removed from a kitchen table and a farmhouse to which she was carried after the accident riding experts agreed that the lady had the lady been astride she would have fallen clear of her horse and might even with her great control have held the animal from falling okay so she would have been fine but also but here's the thing I just I just need to bring up sure her hymen would have been fucked up we don't watch about a

uterus yeah I mean all bad everything up in that spot yeah it's all isn't it better that she can't walk can I just okay two things the hymen's still good two things one is the best place for someone who's just been trampled by a horse a kitchen table yeah well how else is she gonna eat when dinner put her in bed how's she gonna eat fair pushback absolutely okay point two mm-hmm why not just let her do what she wants and then I'm sorry you lost me you were leading to the fact that she would be okay I heard you say do what let her ride the horse yeah I don't I don't because then she can stop it and then

she's not gonna fall underneath the horse right but then what's happening to her I mean but again I don't think we know that what's happening to her I think we do but we've never seen it because we've always just said so you would like her to be an unmarried woman with possibly dying from her uterus bopping around that would that's your answer we're taking some weeps the woman's handbook in health and disease in 1886 said violent exercise on horseback or in a wagon without springs caused uterine damage it occurred are women are women buying into this are women women no women are like this is ridiculous okay

sure if it occur well some are but most aren't okay if it occurred treatment was complete rest of mind and body right so if you had a uterus problem that you complete rest okay quote the woman should remain quietly in bed sure what's interesting to you feels like you're adding it's subtly subtly one additional additional note in there yes she must rest and shut up what was she do wasn't you just sitting on the furniture before let's get her bed and zip it zip it all right now it's very important for all of us that she shut the fuck up yeah that's gonna help her heal and all of us last thing we want to do is hear her

fucking word she needs to just lay there bed rest and if she says one word I will come over here and slap her uterus that's right all right doctor's orders all right and then the train was invented oh no critics of early trains thought women would not be able to do this at all critics of early trains thought quote that women's bodies were not designed to go at 15 they will shatter they will shatter into dust and I'm not I'm not pulling punches the women will literally evaporate in front of us the bodies were not designed to go 50 miles an hour it's a lot like the speed bus and their uruses will fly out

of their body you understand what you're asking for you're asking for a water balloon fight with internal wombs as their bodies accelerate to that speed these uterine will pop out of the fly out and they will smash into other wombs yes you have exploding wombs is that what you want with your invention of the train if you put a bunch of women on a train then it takes off then it's just flying wombs everywhere listen I'm not gonna sit by idly and watch you turn this train into a womb explosion factory you foolish foolish people you've invented something you know the power not of women will not be able to handle

this my god would someone think about them for once besides them every all the men I mean not them some some people were some critics of trains were worried about everybody not just critics of trains some people thought that any human body would melt at high speeds okay so we've got I mean but that's a good sense to me than this the highlighting of that makes more sense makes more sense oh so if we're gonna rank them melting and then wombs flying out I'm just saying one of them at least is gender neutral one of them at least allows for the crazy to go from penises and vaginas okay as opposed to the one

where the man's like you fools men won't melt and neither shall women but their uterine will attack each other great if they got on the first train and all the guys balls blew out oh my god we were so wrong the balls are killing all the kids you're here for a good one a mom well done you for the ladies jerking and shaking in train cars would cause the uterus to fall one medical journal said women should not live in the suburbs because to get home they would have to take a streetcar or to get to and from school young girls and their uterus would have to take a train so is and again there's just nobody wants to try to

put a woman on a train no they I mean can't they are okay so they are but people are like this you shouldn't do this and then the right they do with especially the young girls to go well now that you've ridden a train later in life you're not gonna have babies so you think about that yeah well I hope your train ride was worth your life of celibacy and loneliness did you enjoy that let me ask you this did any of your friends melt yet oh they will they will huh cuz I know huh cuz I'm just assuming a New York doctor said the railroad caused women to experience nervous shock you've never seen anything like what's

happening and yet this probably was never happening anywhere if you're like I've seen it a million times nope a woman gets on the train she thinks she's all fancy pants and brave next thing you know her uterus is jamming down its throat strangling her she sits there doesn't know what's going on unmarried the rest of her life if I had a nickel well they they would just get a train if they saw a woman crying they'd be like oh it's her uterus well I hope you're happy her life's over the Lancet was an important and influential medical journal in 1862 the journal journal came out against ladies taking their wombs on

trains it may have you could have just ended it at against ladies chains were harmful due to the little jolts of an area which was already in a tender state it said well the uterus is always in a tender state according to the Lancet is that true medical journal oh gosh yes yeah I'm glad we can do this together yeah I'm glad we could do this together mine's callous you Dave you don't have one oh oh do you mean the one he's just smoking cigarettes looking at me he was pickled yes I got it at a deli 58 give me a couple pickle you nurses we only got one left weekend so give me a pound of

meatloaf all right I'm gonna be loafers you're playing me you know I just think a bunch of meatloaf married women were warned against excessive traveling by train because many women were taking long honeymoon train trips and the journal strongly recommended against such madness it was clearly leading to miscarriages oh my god which miscarriages are super common so they could easily just blame it on whatever they're like to everything yeah I think it's linked to sex yeah yeah when you fucking have a baby early without no let's stop a letter in a surgical journal quote the uterus is tender don't

wink see there's a little wink at me it is enlarged and it is somewhat painful when any attempt is made to replace it written by Jack Sparrows replace it yeah okay what are you replacing it with I make a good fake one hey I got me love yeah you know yeah I got a bunch of meatloaf I put it in a ziplock bag boom you got a new womb welcome to boom and wombs boom no won't huh what do you need huh what's the matter you got a womb issue can I get two wombs got two wombs yeah I mean we can do it too but I'm gonna have to see the other person the other wombs for huh who's the other womb for no both me oh you want to do a jam

in your wombs yeah you want to do rule you're talking about a couple of womb mates yeah living inside here that's right all right yes so what we're doing is we're gonna take a bunch of meatloaf okay all right we put it in a couple hey I got me love no no no no no it's different okay this is medical loaf oh gotcha yes we take a bunch of the medical loaf and we put it in a couple of the bags uh-huh and then I'm medically speaking a jam it into where your uterus is yeah yeah and I was there now well the only problem is you're not gonna be able to ever ride a train what and if you want to go on horseback you're

gonna need to you know ride it while hovering and not controlling welcome the woman whoops okay so you are talking about wombs and not rooms you have you got a list no wombs and that's not even a list isn't it no thanks isn't it what is the speech impediment of some sort there but something even more terrifying came oh I can't I can't imagine bicycles oh no no it's like a one-person train the wombs nemesis oh absolutely the saddle it's designed just to attack a womb in 1869 a newspaper wrote about a horror scene happening in Los Angeles quote Los Angeles has a

velocipede by bicycle sure school for ladies where the deer creatures are introduced to the mysteries of the bicycle free of charge okay so oh boy so they found the book of black magic yeah it's like it's like they're turning women into monsters they just don't know the power of what they're doing they have no idea you fools the daily Alta paper in 1870 quote epidemics are fearful things okay so this guy's calm about two years ago we had an epidemic of smallpox this was followed by bicycles oh yeah which killed about as many indirectly what yeah is that backed up no okay that's been in the era of the

penny farthing do you think the what the penny farthing bicycle that wasn't that one of the first ones is that the one with the big wheel yes yeah well they called it an ordinary an ordinary what the regular bike they call it big wheeled one was called the ordinary yeah okay sure that's the normal one this is obviously the normal bike and then here's the crazy one that we don't see this one going very far catching on nobody will be nobody will want to dismount a bike so simply so they thought that the one with the big wheel I think because when you pedal that you could go much faster because it had the big wheel sure

so they there was no there was no even you know anything there's no even wheeled one so they just had the big wheeled one sure and so mostly just dudes wrote it what if that's where the big wheel for children when of your generation where came from the big wheel yeah what's the big wheel what's a big me oh the big wheel yeah yeah yeah the plastic big wheel yeah yeah don't look at me like that I see the smoke cigarettes on the big wheeler for me like that I mean essentially right well I hope not men he did men were writing and women wanted to know what all the fun was about and that was fine quote as long as they would

remain spectators the men continued injuring themselves right yeah can't have a woman do that no broken hand broken hands broken arms are super common because you would fight from a you fall hit something and then fly over sure yeah yeah no I would imagine that the big wheel would be more dangerous that's not good the difficult to control pedal accidents happen all the time small rocks could send someone flying but women still wanted to ride foolish foolish we why would you do this you don't want to have children wouldn't you rather sit and occasionally get fucked listen I've got a beautiful tub of water for you to

float in for the rest of your life silently wouldn't that be heaven yet it was not considered proper for a lady to mount a bike like a man so the ordinary the ordinary is hard to get on right you got to climb up and do a whole thing so when doing that with women then quickly soured on the bicycle and of course they quickly soured on watching men ride bicycles this meant men could not have as much fun riding because women weren't sitting around watching them so weird how that took the fun out of it well I know you may pine for it but never achieve now watch me fall over this rock again look at me hello then came the chain bicycle in the

1870s with equal sized wheel wheels it was named the safety bicycle okay meaning people wouldn't fall far yeah you can't die I was like put old people on it right and women right right much easier for a woman to ride and then cycling suddenly took off the bearings which is was a cycling magazine quote it knows no class distinction is within each reach of all rich or poor alike have the opportunity to enjoy this popular and helpful exercise so it's the great equalizer okay I would love to get my hands on a bike magazine from back then to see what else they're covering the just the racism I'm sure by the 1890s

cycling was considered a craze quote general intoxication an eruption of exuberance like a seismic tremor that shook the economic and social foundations of society and rattled the windows of its moral outlook what was happening was women realized bicycles could transform their life in a major way maybe more than any other invention in the history of man I don't like the sound of this one bit man we're losing their minds they're like it is what is going on she just got on a thing and left all right Ted relax I think we all know I was standing here and the woman though my what it's her name my wife doesn't matter the woman

the woman thing yes the woman my wife woman we're all here for the she was floating in the the bath thing that I have over there and then I said won't you cook and then she got up and left and said fuck off or something problem is she left her womb I'm sure is it in the tub absolutely it is don't look in there though it'll bite your head off like an anaconda now listen what we need to do is realize that unfortunately we've let women know about something that's idea was this we thought the woman would quickly learn that her womb would get injured on the simple bike but unfortunately they seem to be doing

something to keep their wombs in check well thank I'm obviously thinking it's a troll under a blitz bridge with the staff thank you for destroying the world we all know what we need to do come up with a time machine and make sure the women never go outside I for one have been the one pushing for the ordinance to remove their legs for decades yes you've called me crazy no I know eyes ovaries legs need to go then you've got a good stable woman just something in a room that doesn't recognize light versus dark going long long all day oh my sweet blob so actress Sarah Bernhardt said all the women on

bicycles were refusing domestic family life Susan B Anthony said bicycles had done more to emancipate women than anything in the world it tells you how shut in their existences have been until this point how fucked up shit was that when you put two wheels on a thing then they're like what happened to the world I mean we've essentially you created a woman fun bubble that just burst it's like a market oh no they found out about a thing oh boy I knew we drew this day eventually this would happen oh we knew this would come this modern woman was referred to as the new woman she broke with convenient convention

convention convention by working outside the home leaving the traditional role of wife and mother or became politically active the bike was a huge part of this the bike change the type of clothing they would wear because the corsets long heavy layered skirts of petticoats would not hack it on a bike sure yeah that it's dangerous so now they put on the bloomers bloomers bloomers are like I know they look like onion legs it's yeah Nickers they've been I'll tell you what they are knocking on the door of pants thank you God let's get out of the womb them all trapped up in there that womb can't be

happy needs to breathe they've been around for a while now that bloomers took off so I society argued over these pants but it was a necessity if a woman wanted to ride a bike when famous cyclist Annie London Berry was in Phoenix you can just say Annie we know who you're talking about was in Phoenix her outfit so upset an elderly woman that the woman ran into a nearby shop and started screaming about the depravity of the 19th century girl dokey the New England Journal of Medicine said it was unacceptable for women with a uterus is an ovarian tumors to ride bikes wait what the journal warned two women with

tumors road bikes and their tumors became rapidly larger wait a minute air into them yeah you don't know just doesn't get bigger on its own you can just see yeah no way no way this has to be related to biking it gets bigger and bigger and bigger these foolish women also quote women ought not to ride during menstruation though this writer admits that several of his patients had done so without injury it's a hunch so hunch go with a hunch it's a hunch but still yeah the two lucky ones I say the bike seat was seen as a legit problem for ladies and their vaginas so I could I've had a feeling this yeah don't you

understand they'll never want a man on them again why would they they've got a bike I'm in love with my seat Harry you knew this day would come I love the seat more than you does this mean I have to learn how to fuck yeah yes but I'm yes and be nice or fuck just learn how to fuck no okay medical journals warned that the seat could be tilted for ultimate pleasure oh my god they just have they have no concept quote riding around on these two-wheeled fuck machines filthy horse quote in this way a girl could by carrying the front peak high or by relaxing the stretched leather in order to let it

form a deep hammock like cavity which would fit itself snugly over her entire vulva and reach up in front bring about constant friction this is animated over the clitoris and labia yeah this pressure would be much increased by stooping forward and the warmth generated from vigorous exercise might further increase the feeling I have seen the case of an overwrought emanciated girl of emaciated girl of 15 whose bike saddle was arranged so that the front part rode upward at an angle of about 35 degrees who stooped forward noticeably when riding and whose actions strongly suggested the indulgence of

masturbation well so so and so yes I masturbated and watching her badness it's all the best parts also at some point a man had to get on and demonstrate you see how in me it is she's doing that and she loves every minute of it riding and riding and riding and riding and riding and riding and riding and riding and riding the guys have hymens I don't need more but I ride horses another doctor explained quote if a seat is properly adjusted this causes the clothing to press against the clitoris thereby eliciting and arousing feelings if hither to hither to hither to unknown and unrealized by the young maiden and

painful and debilitating a uterine erosion or polyp growths will result who is there I mean if you're if you know evidence doesn't matter now but this is science if you're is it if you have a bike seat and the and the I'm gonna show you with my hands if you have a bike seat and then your clothing this is your legs and your clothing is all bunched up right here that's gonna cause polyps you mean a cotton cock yeah yeah it's like a it's like a cock and it's rubbing and rubbing and rubbing and you're like that feels good good thing I'm a good thing I'm pretending to ride my bike now you're full of

polyps yeah right like like full of shit yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah her she's full of polyps everything she says is a lie obviously this was a concern Dave how about this was anything not a concern no yeah men riding bikes right yeah that's that's fine and trains and everything else and probably just masturbating wherever and you know actively Louis C. King doorways but it's like nothing nothing wrong with the man and the fella has needs woman unlike you it was recommended women use a quote hygienic saddle that's what they call this bicycle seat back there was a saddle

okay so a hygienic saddle so it's basically a seat now you may have seen these because I didn't realize what they were until I read this okay it's basically a seat with like a like this like a groove down the middle uh-huh the middle of the scene has a groove down it so it's got the two sides and then a groove so your vagina is untempted un-tempted unable to do anything were it to become aroused through that's right now it's not being aroused by the bicycle because the bicycle is not rubbing up against it right but the wind mmm the breeze it creates the woman will be hooked on that now too so this is

obviously it won't press upon the external genitals the new non-orgasming bike seat market was born okay finally it's taken off from bicycle seat ads greatly reduces vibration the perfect seat for a lady oh my god they're not allowed anything can they just have a vibration for a little while for fuck's sake the duplex lady seat ensures ease comfort and a graceful attitude she won't want to go anywhere fellas wink wink the seat receives the weight of the pelvic bone supporting the spine and entirely relieving the sensitive parts of the body from pressure of any kind the new 10 speed no clitty absence makes

the heart grow fond absence of all vibration in the worth jointless spring frame bicycle has made the hearts of many warm toward the health and pleasure giving recreation of cycling that's right she'll know no other pleasure finally gentlemen ever again we're good how did we get to where we are well I mean with a lot of really good thoughtful thinking and a plan that made sense and the fact that we learn from our mistakes the best thing I ever heard was I believe was to get the vote in Iceland or maybe that they couldn't hold public office but they just said we're not gonna fuck any of you again and then immediately vote

and do whatever you want yes but the council needs a minute to discuss okay so they finally realized the thing they should take away let's let them let them out they can run do they want to run stuff what do they want to do they can run it run the country run the country we're all freaking out and he relax they can fuck I'm cool we're gonna go back over there okay and we're gonna say okay we hear you you think you should be able to run but let's make it seem like it's not because you know from the only other option is for us to start doing it with each other you're acting too big again you're gonna give away what we're doing I don't want to

fuck Bobby anymore we're done you shouldn't be fucking okay listen we have a cave okay let's just not talk about your and Bobby's cave okay and let's just go over there and tell them we're in but it's not because of the sex it is we've shut up okay you're not coming over there when we go talk I'll stay over here let them run let him be queen or whatever I don't care that would be like a massive queen just I like stop fucking stop okay stop okay just settle down and focus okay just say whatever they want I'm not going you're not listening to the plan just shut up what if they what if they what if they what

if they take away blow jobs they're not gonna do that what is happening on our Island come on we're a country settle down I will do anything you want a medical journal recommended once a woman was so worked up that she was breathing out of her mouth she should dismount the bike and walk and take a break she's fucking it if she's breathing from her mouth orgasm has been achieved off off keep your eye on her if she smokes while riding she's done it doctors published damning results from surveys two cases of vaginal discharge one case of acute ovary inflammation four cases of harm from excessive use

causing general fatigue in several cases of serious ovarian trouble directly due to riding long distances during or near the menstrual period who is the officer in charge of pulling over to check if there is a release oh that guy yeah that's a don't sorry about this but he's just going over there just like did you spill anything or is it what it looks like come on over here I got to put on my glove could you be just dismount the bicycle yes I'm gonna go ahead and put my hand inside of your vagina why is that the first step you're riding a bike yeah yep no no I this is my bridge I on the bridge I go across a bridge on

your bike no I get to do these things no I am a cop plus you keep rubbing your nose so it's not going nose to me what you're not I'll put a glove on this one you already have a glove on that one oh yep okay no so okay I'm not married I just want to put that out there are you an officer or is you trying to pick up I don't know I own that kind on the bridge cut you've a minute ago you own the bridge do you own the bridge owns a vague term do you own it no okay I'm gonna keep riding then if that's okay yeah yeah yeah yeah just fine almost get my routine down work in the kinks I almost this plan is so good so tight hey Bob I'm a bikini inspector so so men

were absolutely horrified by what they were seeing a columnist in the New York Sunday Harold wrote of the whores he had seen quote I think the most vicious thing I ever saw in my life is a woman on a bicycle who is this guy who is the person who's that the worst thing they've ever seen I'll never forget it she there she was gliding along fool just riding like she owns herself her womb was caught in the spokes I had thought cigarette smoking was the worst thing a woman could do but I have changed my mind ever since then Jesus Christ smoking on a bike once how is no one made a horror movie about this oh my god so this is my

day she rode this is my pitch okay uh-huh so you're sitting on a road sure right movie starts here a noise look over woman rides by a bicycle fiend and fiend fiend fiend fiend the French the French no I'm aware fiend fiend it's fiend no it's fion it's fiend fiend why are we talking about the end of my movie because there's nothing else to talk about so the so the girl goes by on a bike the good goes by girl the lady the one with the womb she goes by everybody fucking screams because why fiend and why are they screaming cuz the girl goes by on a bike what's the crazy part it's a fucking horror I want to make a movie

about you pitching your movie okay isn't there okay sequel girls in there movie starts gross and she's moving so you say movie starts do you mean the movie starts or they're watching a movie movie starts no this is the movie I'm pitching you the goddamn you don't even tell me the movie starts when your pitch starts fucking me out okay so I'm trying to so there's a rock there's a girl sitting on a rock she likes to start smoking a cigarette okay another girl I rise by on a bicycle okay fiend that's it it's a first of all it's Finn fiend movie over no it's the French term yeah no I know I'm telling you what it is

Finn Finn Finn yes fiend movies over how about this okay Finn pitches over so you like it you want to buy my movie we do not like we are not buying it it's a horror film it's a train wreck well there's a beginning and then she rides by normally the middle's where we need some stuff too and a beginning plus your end needs work and you don't know how to say Finn what about she talks that's interesting now that's fascinating that is interesting to us why don't you just say finish I said French movie okay I get it so we've got notes not many it's a short movie yeah another brilliant male writer quote cycling tends to destroy

the sweet simplicity of her girlish nature besides how dreadful it would be if by some accident she were to fall into the arms of a strange man yes it's like a two-wheel juvenile hall it will corrupt the mind and simply as she's riding it whispers sweet nothing's into her ear until she finds a suitor more superior than you women will ride and crash and fly into man's arms and then they're married listen that you know how it works if their brains are tiny maybe non-existent so when they fall into something warm they think you know me stay there like a fish yes much like a fish I love women I also love women the

Sacramento Daily Union wrote that doctors began recommending in 1895 that women ride tricycles hey girls we came up with a solution hey ladies gather on we found a way to be worse hear us out hear us out how about you right around like fucking baby we know you guys are getting sick of us condescending you about the bike so we've come up with a solution you're gonna ride what we call twice a cold because you're little babies you don't know what you're doing right what is the worst I mean some so many health problems could occur and cause issues for the rest of woman's life sure like like associating with a man

yeah here's popped up that capitalized on fears that cycling could injure the kidneys liver and urinary tract warner's safe cure appeared in the Chicago times Harold Kansas City Star among other papers warning minor side effects from vibrations of the wheel could eventually lead to death what is going on gotta get him off the bike I mean by any means necessary necessary you're going to die well we've decided we're gonna give you all penises don't call our bluff from the Boston Globe quote I have tried my very best to be convinced that a woman looks well on a bicycle she does not alright the attitude is an ungraceful strained

one and if the rider happens to be a fat woman her face gets liver red and she looks distasteful oh my god she's sweating it's horrifying sweating no matter how much they tried to look their best they have an untidy look tumbled hair negligee caps which means not proper hats and a general loose get-up from stylish looking far from stylish okay so really the complaint is that they're not hot right and and again okay hear me out I'm a man yes yes so when I'm walking down the street mm-hmm I like to see beautiful women right this is making that different but what if the woman is enjoying the ride and her

enjoyment comes from maybe their appearance not being as appealing to you as it once was but could be again but temporarily not where you'd like it I feel like you're not hearing me I'm walking down the street and I like to see beautiful things women especially now but what if the woman's quality of life yes is raised by this experience she's having on a bicycle you're not hearing me at all it's like you're not hearing a word that I say right not a word right it's like talking to a wall right I want to see pretty things I am entitled to see pretty things right what if we came up with an area where no man

could go and the women could ride their bikes and then when they what you know where they were hell with world okay what place is this that I was thinking demonic witches demonic it's not demonic what sounds like witchcraft no okay women no in the park that's a good idea yeah who is this oh nothing Harry Harry Harry Harry remember the voice oh yes I'm awfully sorry but women were not a woman women kept riding fucking bicycles obviously they were not gonna stop so rules had to be put in place yeah and no more women in 1895 we're getting rid of you the New York world which was Pulitzer's newspaper published a list of

don'ts for female cyclists I've grabbed a few don't be a fright don't faint on the road don't wear a man's cap don't wear tight garters don't attempt a long ride don't coast it's dangerous so it constant pedaling don't boast of your long rides oh well you're not supposed to be taking them don't cultivate a bicycle face also a strenuous face you mean sweating yes freaking out when you say that don't refuse assistance up a hill okay so no no no if a man wants to help make him wear laced boots don't wear lace boots sorry they're tiresome don't imagine everybody's looking at you don't imagine everyone is looking at

you don't wear a garden party hat with bloomers okay this one I agree well that one actually honor off a bike don't chew gum exercise your jaws in private oh my god don't ask what do you think of my bloomers don't use bicycle slang leave that to the boys oh really don't go out after dark with a male escort don't let your golden hair be hanging down your back okay so very a lot of rules can I just ask yes what would bicycle slang read you think oh god spokes chain chain eyes you're on your two tire yeah yeah yeah on your two time yeah you're on your two tire yeah zippered by zippered by your two

time yeah that's for the boys not coming from you ladies don't overdo things let cycling be a recreation not a labor don't ignore the laws of the road because you're a woman yeah woman don't scream if you meet a cow what the hell just happened don't scream if you meet a cow that's on a lot of lists I just love that they think women are like oh my god what's happening what is that I met him you know women are gonna start sleeping with cows if they keep getting introduced I've seen it happen before don't appear in public until you've learned to ride well yep but and by that just ride in your room until you're

ready to go out on the road the constant warnings about women could be destroyed by bikes continued throughout the 1890s but not all were on board with the attacks one Chicago Daily News article said quote when a woman wants to learn anything or do anything useful or even have any fun there is always someone to solemnly warn her that it is her duty to keep well meanwhile in many states she can work in factories 10 hours a day she can stand behind the counters in badly ventilated stores eight o'clock to six she bend over the sewing machine for five cents an hour and no one cares enough to protest yes but when these

same women find a cheap and delightful way of getting the fresh air and exercise there is a great human cry about their physical welfare by the way if they're so obsessed with fresh air why not let a man just blow into their mouths all the time thank you that's the freshest air comes from a man not earth I'm sure they burned this newspaper down after that oh yeah they were like yeah oh what's the monster who wrote this we want your head but it was over they were not gonna stop women from riding bicycles they could not put the cat back in the back women or they could not put the animal womb back in the bigger animal

thank you the way women rode horses changed the decline of riding side saddle was finally here in the early 1900s newspaper stories started appearing about women riding their horses astride one leg on each side of the horse ah this was received as you would expect but I don't feel well I've just seen a woman express merriment with her legs over a horse while she hides her hymen shattering look at her oh god smiling to hide the hymen pain she's clearly in the Los Angeles Times May 1905 quote the woman cannot throw her leg over the back of a horse without profaning the grace of femininity or grasp with her

separated knees the shoulders of her mount without violating the laws of good taste or appear in the cross at all without any bit of dignity elegance or poise well we're we're making baby steps yeah we really are babies really making progress of course worse technology was coming the automobile the woman doctors got to work explaining the horrors of riding in cars oh my god ladies from the influence of the automobile upon gynecological conditions by dr. J. Clifton Edgar quote regarding the influence of motoring upon the nervous systems a woman one is able to sort them into two distinct classes in

one little disturbance is produced in a second class of women will be found those who can never adjust themselves mentally to the use of the automobile for more than short runs at low speed a speed over 15 or 20 miles per hour in a car causes actual mental suffering nervous excitement and circulatory disturbances so the last often accompanied by racing heart beats extending into the night and causing insomnia there's two camps when it comes to a woman in an automobile go ahead like the first one yeah negligible all good you'll basically not notice much of the difference in your woman drive about drive about she's

gonna seem the same yeah she might be the same okay the second class yep like so first class nothing bad yeah the second class her body becomes hell whoa her body becomes a complete nightmarish health she is in a skin prison oh Jesus that she cannot shatter her way out of from the car yes exactly her heart rate explodes fuck me at this point her blood is probably leaking from her heart going all over her womb like a magic shell yeah she is losing her control yeah her brain is melting her genitalia is aroused to the point where she is achieving some sort of a satanic orgasm the woman will without question

explode it's a matter of how much time do you have on your hands you know the second you see any disturbance the best thing you can do is stop your car get your woman out and throw her in ice throw her in a big tub of ice now you're a doctor I am an absolute mechanic I did not mean to mislead you I am a car mechanic because you're talking about women and their bodies and yeah yeah of course that's right doctor I'm a guy who knows stuff I'm a car mechanic like you're just a guy I'm a guy you know about cars I know a lot about cars and I also know what it does I told you one of the camps of women will stay fine okay

yeah I'm pretty sure I know two camps I'm not saying that yeah watch I'm not this chicken little guy you know all the women are gonna die they're not 78% of them will and they will melt like candles melt 78% of the woman women the woman whatever you call them they will melt like a doctor I am a mechanic I'm a doctor of cars but a woman is a lot like a car no yeah there's a lot of pieces that go in there that's not and they don't really work no and she's in a lot of danger no none of that is true if she's like a car with too many parts none of that she's like a car with no engine and five batteries okay so he's

all jammed up no and you so I want to take her for a ride she will melt like a goddamn candle have you ever had intercourse with a car yeah I sleep with a lot of the cars Jesus Christ get out of my fucking house okay in your car first of all first of all I am a doctor no you can't be a doctor all right I'm not a doctor but I want to stay for dinner come on it smells really good honey could you cook this nice man a meal you're not letting her stand up are you yeah oh my god all of her baby parts are gonna drop on your floor and turn into some sort of no I took off her legs oh oh good okay I was gonna say she's healthy oh very

healthy mouse a little active for my liking other doctors respond to Dr. Edwards paper a doctor broadhead quote I think let me tell you what I think quote I think Dr. Edgar's paper is most conservative certain women appear to be especially susceptible to the miscarriage influence of the automobile and certain conditions within the female pelvis appear to me to favor this women with relaxed uterus support are especially prone to the unfavorable vibrations introduced by excessive motoring absolutely yes you want to be careful in 1909 clearly tired of the bullshit

22-year-old Alice Ramsey drove three female friends cross country in 59 days oh my god what is this which helped prove women could be trusted behind the wheel the idea of a wandering room after literally about 2,000 years was starting to be dispelled suddenly doctors started coming out against the wandering womb ah the Journal of the AMA in 1912 quote I have seen cases of fractured palpuses in women in none have I ever seen a displaced uterus numerous similar records can be collected to prove that severe crushing injuries do not cause displacements of the uterus well I mean if you're gonna try to prove

something you might find something you don't like from an anatomical standpoint traumatic displacements of the uterus practically never occur doctors have long marveled at how the little organ finds its way back when the surgeon's knife is near why this sudden change a doctor quote one of the largest one of the largest city railway companies informed me that this is a frequent cause for claims of personal injury oh god hey what that's why another large railway company stated that it's frivolous it had 500 such claims the insurance companies consulted likewise stated that traumatic displacements of

the uterus were frequently claimed and were among their most difficult cases to handle yes displaced uterus uterus we're now costing the railroads tons of and that's why so they're like fine fine there's no moving uterus but they still shouldn't be allowed to do it just cuz doctors started changing their diagnosis because women were filing insurance claims the doctors great now was that in any way a tactic or were women just sort of like it's the time we live in let's just well back then women had had to first of all if you want to be independent you you could do you could do stuff like if you were

engaged your man and he left you you could sue him for money so there was a way that like the system of capitalism allowed women to do certain things so they wouldn't be dependent upon the state which there was no actually dependence on the state so they would be tossed out right so as a way for them to survive essentially right and then so now the guys are just like no this loopholes affecting us this one this is one that's not good because this keeps them from getting now no man controls them if they get a pay-out pay-out from the right right the displaced uterus is now costing the roads money there's a

sentence I didn't think I'd hear doctor start charging their diagnoses the displaced uterus was starting to cost the railroads the doctor switch was bad news for some women as personal injury claims for traumatic uterus displacements were being filed against railroads frequently so the idea of the watering units was not wandering uterus was not ended because men suddenly realized they were being assholes it was due simply to cash and capitalism money doctors were coming down on the other side a doctor CW Hopkins said 12 patients had claimed they had a displaced uterus but none of the claims

were authentic another surgeon said he had seen from 80 to 100 alleged cases but none were displacements quote in a majority of cases the person claiming the injury was a malingerer a lazy slacker kind of person okay one of the best known railway surgeons in the country how are you have no idea I'm Dr. John train so after I read this I so wanted to pitch a show called railway surgeon how are you on the railway surgeon I assume because they had long train trips there was a doctor on the train yeah it would make sense I guess the train surgeon if you're there if you're a surgeon on a train you're just

in the booze cart bringing the hammer down every day like what do you mean a hernia oh shit I haven't been drinking for this all right well let's just get the train milkman we have one of everything this is Noah's Ark one of the best known railway surgeons in the country stated that I want you I'm not even the best but I'm up there in more than 25,000 cases accident cases you'd never seen a true displacement or prolapsed can I leave the train now yes please no I want to go home the International Journal of Surgery quote if there is a good possibility of collecting large damages a slight fall

on a railway train may be deemed a sufficient case of displacement of the uterus now take for instance our present fashions sure bloomers a lady will wear a tight corset and she is almost undressed except as to that if she has a displacement of the uterus that can be determined by four doctors before a jury this will gain her judgment they do not stop to consider her dress and that she may be without very much accepted corset we need to be very careful in forming our opinions when called for claims of an injury this kind so so I think that's going back to the cold uterus thing that he's trying to say that the the

displacements are happening because what they were I mean the idea that a corset holds your womb in place no not in place I think it no he much my boot that's a set what either way the idea that you're clothing like that that's what this hey skin is nature's clothing that's what you have on to hold these organs in place he's like yes but still that bloomers will let the heart leak out of the mouth quite simply I just want to say maybe we should just let women take over for a little while we maybe we should take a backseat not do anything we just how about we would take a backseat but then our balls would come

out of our mouths maybe mention take a break without question oh imagine fuck uh-huh so uterine displacement was on its way out finally named came airplanes oh no when the first international requirements for commercial pilots were proposed in 1919 female pilots were to be examined by a doctor every three months while a man pilot was examined every six months sure in 1933 aeronautics department medical doctor Roy Whitehead began examining or be a keeping records of menstrual abnormalities pregnancies and miscarriages of female pilots and he recommended female pilots not fly three

days before menstruation to three days afterwards which can be up to 13 days so pretty much half the month dr. Whitehead quote any women pilots have many women pilots have fainted when flying with fatal results of which there's no proof whatsoever right but again there's that P word you wrote an article for the Journal of Aviation Medicine in which he said that out of ten female pilots killed while flying eight were menstruating I double-checked there was certainly blood on the body right how do you there was blood then a crash was horrific but the woman was definitely covered in menstruation a lot of it

came from her head to a lot of head menstruation quote women quote women are not physically or psychologically suited for flying or on a regular run still women flew in October 1934 dr. Jeanette Packard piloted a balloon to a record altitude five thousand five hundred seventy nine feet how's your vagina I knew it but the National Geographic Society refused to back her flight saying they would have nothing to do with sending a woman and mother in a balloon into danger yeah in 1941 the Journal of Aviation Medicine published an article quote should women fly during the menstrual period what I mean that is so insane and during World War two I mean

right I mean just a man even with our standards today that are shit how inappropriate a title is that for an article madness and during World War two doctors said women Air Force pilots shouldn't fly during their menstrual cycles so why not take this thought process into space oh my god in 1960 dr. William Lovelace the second hello Lovelace here welcome to Lovelace and Brigadier General Donald Flickener hi I'm a mr. Flickener thought maybe women might be good astronauts because they are on average smaller and lighter than men oh but Dave you're forgetting about that nasty thing betwixt their legs huh

yes the bicycle seat that's right the women in space program had begun after rigorous testing 13 women passed the same test as NASA's astronaut selection process there's one problem the group was then told they would be going to the Naval School of Aviation Medicine in Florida to undergo advanced aeromedical examinations using military equipment and jet aircraft this is on a military base okay two of the women quit their jobs to attend but just days before they were to report the Navy said it would not allow the use of their facilities and the program was immediately over okay good a year later Soviet cosmonaut

Valentina Tereshkova became the first woman in space she somehow able to stop period with her mind she's strong she able to keep control of it she actually push it there's no way she's a woman she absolutely woman she's not a woman she a woman goes in a space she procrastinate period a woman goes in a space when that when the aircraft comes back down and you take off the top of that aircraft blood shoots out no but she's that's a that's a strong soviet woman man no she's a woman she's a penis no she's strong soviet woman she able to say to her body okay buddy I know you won't have period can we wait six months

and then we have one really big period no that's not what happened yes that is exactly what she do women explode yes your American women explode no all women no not all women you can't control your apparatus down there that I we are we are like an animal in an animal she trained for years to be able to control apparatus down there which she does control absolutely so then at the end of six months you have one enormous if she has six months at the six month period the end of six months she have one terrible period she cried the whole time she eats so much chocolate ice cream all she do is talk about how much

she miss boyfriend but we are able to center in space so yes she's weak woman of course she weak woman she woman but she able to postpone her weak woman is for a little while to get job done for a Soviet army foolish men it's like you have no gynecologist in America we got a lot yes why do you think our women can't ride horses or trains well because they'll explode we're not idiots we all believe in same science technology finally found a goddamn common ground yes that's right plus we understand we are head is off to America best trained surgeon in world thank you number one for trained sir thank you yes without

question so the US went the other way as the soviet saw that all they need is for the Russians to go up and do it once and they're like women get up there nope oh no they were like by 1964 the women in space program with zero evidence stated that putting quote a temperamental psycho physiological woman they're calling a hormonal woman is what they're saying there or a woman together with a complicated machine is not suggested okay right because yeah yeah sure it's stated that women would have to time her flight to her cycle to avoid issues and that was not possible it's impossible others said unless we

really figured it unless we do others said micro gravity might increase the incidence of retrograde menstruation absolutely which is a thing yes it is blood might flow up the fallopian tubes into the abdomen causing health problems yes based on nothing no believe it or not you'll get her up there and she'll be a blood geyser just fountaining blood out of her mouth no one had done any experience experiments whatsoever you don't have a gut instinct to support or refute it by the mid 1960s NASA wasn't open to women since the requirements for astronauts stipulated that they be military test pallets this excluded

women until 1978 when we're chimps allowed to go that had to be by now for sure like in the late 50s 20 years after the Soviets in a 1983 Sally ride became the first American woman in space Sally quote I remember the engineers trying to decide how many tampons should be packed oh my god on a one-week flight they asked is a hundred the right number hey hey Sally how are you we're the geniuses from NASA so how many tampons for your vagina enough we recommend hundred do you know what books are yeah books we read a bunch of books biology books and stuff you could actually just yeah yeah but but the difference is your vagina is

going to space and without being too intrusive how many of these cotton things do you need for it why don't you put one in your ass well but one in your nose okay one in your other nose yeah put it one in your eye yeah I think space is already starting to affect her she thinks that we need him Sally we'll just put a thousand in here okay that's good and put them in your vagina when you get up there because your blood's gonna go crazy good she's become real jerk there have now been a lot of women in space turns out no problems with menstruating just like no problem with the wombs on horses and bikes and cars and trains

women are still not allowed on submarines in the Navy the excuse being sleeping and privacy arrangements a large part of that argument was the lack of an area for gynecological exams so we've really advanced there okay have they put it have they thought about a submarine surgeon addendum epilogue we'll call it the epilogue sure in 2010 Gian Franco Casper president of the International Ski Federation said on ESPN that the female uterus might burst upon landing from a ski jump holy shit online headline February 14th 2014 quote first women's olympic ski jumping competition completed without a single

uterus explosion boy but talk about a rating spike anyway men men men men men men men what other we're great what at what point when you're wrong all the time does it start just what do we say we don't value your opinion on women's but can you imagine like the the like if you were a dude and you were like I am a dude but if you back then your do it and you're like what if we just let ladies very bicycles and the amount of shit that would come down on me from the other dudes. What the fuck are you, check out how fucking Larry over here. But is this still on?

Yeah. Oh, well don't you think a lot of this is sort of happening today here? No, no, no. Reverting with this present regime. No. In what way? In what way? With this regime.

100%. Yeah. It is, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, all this about... Well, there's a lot of... It's a lot of reverting, isn't it? Jordanesson Peterson is a big Toronto professor who's becoming huge and it's tons of this

kind of shit and he's like talking about force monogamy and this is a big thing that's coming back. Well, another thing, I mean, what is definitely a trend that is back now is that your science has no value and if someone just says something's true because they believe that that's enough. Or if someone just says that something's true and it isn't, but they say it enough, that's enough. But I was thinking in particular about what's going on with the government here and the Supreme Court.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Totally. And it's all reverting. Yeah. And it is like a regime. You're talking about how five white guys are gonna take away the woman's right to choose what she wants to do. Yes, absolutely.

I'm afraid. Great. Yeah. Yeah. It's a 20-year orchestrated campaign. That's what you were saying and you feel that some of that is happening right now. It is just... Yeah.

It's being turned back instead of going forward. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. But that's a good thing. Yeah, men are great. They are. Because then it means the guy...

Particularly your Supreme Leader. Oh, Mom, you keep saying that and you're acting like we're not in... We don't call him that. We don't... Yeah. We don't... Emperor. Yeah.

He's lovely. We're not... Yeah, the law is... You have a queen! Floating baby Trump. Yeah. Yeah. Floating baby Trump everywhere.

Everywhere. Yeah. Yeah. He would lose his mind if there was only baby Trump. He's the best. What is going on a world tour? Oh, well, good. Yeah.

So that's cool. With Pink Floyd? Yeah. Yep. Pink Floyd and Baby Trump. It's the new Pink Floyd concept album. Boy. Oh, well...

Anything else? No. What a nightmare. Yep. It just never ends. No. It doesn't end. All right.

All right. Well, we tried. We signed cars. We still will. Yudder. Yudder. We do not sign Yudder. We don't sign Yudder.

Well, actually, we'll sign a car as long as a woman is an inside of it. That's right! All right. Okay. Thank you, Mom. Thank you. Glad you were here for something so sweet. It was most enjoyable.

Yes. Most enjoyable. Thank you.