The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 34 - The Past Times - Maggie Maye

Episode Date: July 14, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Maggie Maye Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Gareth Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Maggie Mae. Hello Maggie. Hey, how are you guys doing? Thanks for joining us.

Good, how are you? I'm good. Thank you for having me Before we start let's just say if you want to follow Maggie who is a hilarious comedian I've done a lot of shows of Maggie you can follow her at Maggie May ha ha but that's may M-A-Y-E Maggie May and I should point out that you are my mother's favorite comedian and then includes me. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Started kind of funny and cute, you know, it was a little bit and I kind of got really, really, really, and became this problem now. Where? You know, it's where? I swear to God. I swear to God two days ago or so I was talking to my mother and she said she'd brought you up to like her I'm like what the she was like well

She's just got that one joke about I'm like what are you doing? So you gotta relax. I'm not gonna rest until I make it onto the Christmas card newsletter There honestly there is a one but I bet you one starts for you. Come on, everyone. Get in. Say Maggie on three. Two, three. Maggie.

Where's she doing the list? What I did that year and be like, you care it too. It's just to you, me and my mother. What is your problem? Well, I just thought, did you miss a lot of Maggie May stuff this year? Oh, my lord.

Meticulous. Does Maggie have any more pictures from grade school? We're not doing this. We're not doing this. We're not doing this. But yes, so thank you very much, Maggie, and follow Maggie. And don't follow Dave. And now we're going to go through a paper.

So do you want to take all guests, too? But do you want to take a guess of what year, what are the year parameters are 16, 10, 2, 1, Dave? This year, all the way up to 2022. So 2022. So you can guess what year you think, it's just a fun little start. Any guess?

I can go first. I'm going to guess, I'm going to guess 17, 10. And I don't think it will be that, but I just want it to be. So just any year. Any year? Yeah. 19, 51. That's pretty good. Well, we're gonna have a winner. That's

for sure. She's much closer. Yeah, I told you I didn't win. I was wrong. 19-20. Okay, way closer. Yeah. November 27th. Hey. The evening journal from Wilmington, Delaware. Oh my lord. So now we get to find out if Delaware was as boring in 1920 as it is today. Oh yeah. Well, you want to hear the first headline? Ha ha. Had only one chair.

Ha ha ha ha. one chair. For many months, the little city of Cologne in France possessed about a single chair, and it was the property of the mayor. Okay, no way. Here's what's absolutely crazy about this right away. This is not a local story, so they were allowed to pick any story from France. Yes. And the story is like the mayor only had one chair. That's heading new. No, the town. The town had one chair. Oh, the town itself only had one chair. Yeah, the city. I guess. So this is before they made fragrances. They were like, we need an industry.

We don't have any chairs. I think they're talking about like the. The city hall or whatever. This is only one chair. It's just that's got to be what they're talking about, right? Dave, there's no version of this that is going to make too much sense. So sure, yeah, it's the city hall issue. It was officially known as the chair.

All right, I haven't done this yet, but I'm probably gonna take off. So if you guys just want to handle this one, I'm... Oh, for what? Intel, junior Red Cross of America sent to that city a great, I can't read this word, loaded with chairs and tables that had been made by the boys of America in their manual training school. Last year, thousands of these articles of furniture were sent to the devastated area of France. Oh, okay. Oh, after of France. Oh, okay.

Oh, after the war. Oh, it's after the war. So what happened? So after the war, they had a lot of times in war. Is it take care of the church? No, that's not true. That's not true. The Germans, what's there? They cannot sit down, they've been ditched them lessons. What? She down baby ditched him lessons

What So it was the German chair-seller who did this probably Terrible not if you're fired It's not okay. Okay, so Okay, so there's so they got so America so So America stepped up again, as we call it, chair America, and we sent over some of our best and best Boy Scout built chairs. Yeah, we've been for since the beginning of America, that's how we colonize as we first we sent chairs.

Yeah, that's how you know it's, and then the French like, oh my gosh, forgot how good sitting down was. This is incredible Oh my god look at this oh fucking this so full Oh look at my bottom oh It's down now I've got more fucking energy That's real new

Maggie The answer to your question is no uh... making the answer to your question is no but like you know when uh... when gentrifier is like oh god you know what this war torn country needs

it's somewhere to just really just faint into we need to get them some chairs no economic aid so what if that yeah to get them some chairs. No economic aid. Just some what if that yeah, they're like could we possibly have some food and things to know but we made y'all a bunch of chairs so that's that's pretty good. Could we eat it? Our young people are starving. We need to well I wish you guys had talked to us sooner because we really they we're pretty

far down this chair hole right now, so Here y'all go And it's made by American boys. It's not made well man Boys just quit in chairs for French people. Yeah, like you should be doing you should be doing like Pinewood Derby But like the scouts showed up there like what are we doing today? We're gonna make more chairs Fuck we already have that badge keep making chairs Don't stop making chairs After the French people like it of course they do should we make them food they don't even bat their French they just need cigarettes

Should we make them food? They don't even bat their French. They just need cigarettes. A chair. I cannot believe you didn't throw a chairman in there. I, I did something, I don't know if I went to chairman yet. You're right, fair enough. I did think like the city hall there's the chair, you know, so maybe the chair. The chairman of the chair?

Yeah, the chairman of the chair. I'm in charge of this. It's, uh, redundant. So maybe the chair yeah the chairman of the chair. I'm in charge of this Redundent Well the next headlines. I mean this is page one mix up This is page one Mix up in days cost Smith five dollars Thinking that yesterday A grandma's date book

Isn't that a newspaper? I made a mistake and it's gonna cost me five dollars. I think I can give my comedy career covered on this newspaper That's what we're banking on it thinking that yesterday was sunday on which day traffic officers are not on duty james smith ran past a stop signal given by traffic officer john scott at fourth and market smith said that he did not look for traffic officer at the corner and when the officer called to him he not seeing him that thought it was a friend

and not observing anyone he knew continued on his way to front and market street where he was overtaken by officer Smith a fight of five dollars and costs was imposed on Smith okay um uh... not okay so he was out driving on a mond Monday thinking it was a sun,

walking on a Monday thinking it was a Sunday. Yeah, I think, maybe he isn't, but I think he's walking. Okay, I might be wrong. Either way, he's out and he's wrong on the day. So then like a enforcement, a traffic enforcement officer, he's like, hey, and he's like, hey, you know, I'm about to get to see you, but he doesn't know he is, he just keeps walking yeah, right and that guy comes over is like that's five dollars

Yeah, that's pretty much the story that's page one by the way. Well, it's better than the chair I did I mean it's a little more there's like a twist There's a turn It's such a like, how does the day of the week figure into this? Because Sunday, because Sunday they wouldn't work, right? Is that what you're saying, Dave? Sunday he was thinking Sunday there were no cops. No cop is, we know that in America.

There's no cops on Sunday. Oh, man. What if I, how fucking, how fucking am I, why can we need to do that? Yeah. We just need to bring back Sunday. I mean, we would just, Sundays would be amazing. Is the crime Sunday?

Yeah. I mean, I would like to think that there'd be more like stuff going on besides crime, but I think of the culture, like the climate of today, which is yeah, I'd be like He just bought a open murders. It really would be purged a now that we kick the can a little further You know I want to get shot on one day of the week Yeah, you go out you like Why are these guys chasing me? Oh God, I thought it was Monday. No, it's Sunday. Oh, no. Oh No, I don't sorry. You don't have to tell me the ethnicity of the dude in that

In that damn article to be like oh, I didn't think cops were here today. I didn't think I didn't think I love this Followed the law today. I thought I could just out and break the law and wave it a cop on the way. Just wave and police. I'm doing great. I mean, not needing to know what day of the week it is with cops is, oh, I got my days mixed up. Oopsy, $5 I guess. I'm giving that an excuse like, oh,

she thought it was fun day. Yeah, and the cop was like, that like that's okay sir it happens all the time I wish we were friends what I Pell I I I

I I I I I I I I

I I I I I I I Okay, anti-fly drive makes her ill. Anti-fly drive. Miss Charles Redding's attempt to swap the fly brought her to the hospital here. What? What is the fly that's been air-riding now? Yeah, how big is this fly?

Is it Jeff Goldblum? Yeah, so- Yeah. Is it Jeff Goldblum? So, yeah. Yeah. Miss Redding is a domestic science teacher. She scattered poison to kill the flies in her classroom. I mean, physicians think they live for like three days.

Positions think her illness came from when she inhaled the powdered poison. She just... She, so it's a science teacher that doesn't know how to kill flies. And she is just treating poison like chicken feed and just going like there you go. There you go. She's throwing she's throwing powdered poison around her. A lot of kids are mid-term. A lot of kids are getting sick nowadays what something must be going around they're dying for a fly and that's probably what like the science portion of the newspaper wasn't

even condemning her it was just like this is going out there's the teachers throwing stuff around well yeah that's when they made the discovery that kids can't have poison kids should get poison this is one of the bigger overreaction is this is this the largest overreaction to a fly in the history of the world i never i've never heard of chit-chit someone throwing poison or out of room to catch a phone like vermin okay yeah. This is this thing will die Very soon of natural causes

No, what you're with a hand invented It's like how do I make hands more danger of quantum molecular level. Yeah, I just use my hand. I'll put poison in it and throw it. You have chili, you're right there. Thinks an era is worth $5,000. What is going on? This is one of the crazier first pages we've had What's an ear worth in Tony?

No one's ever asked that People ask that all the time how much for your ear you never had a guy ask how much How much you knew for your ear and what's the set cost? you do for your ear and what's the set cost? The 1920s were wild. This is just a priceless ad that would get banned, but they just let you act for an ear on the front seat. This is the priceless times. I mean, it really is. This is just like, what the fuck, you know, France only has one chair. This lady's killing a fire with poison. Hey, how much you want for that ear? I'll pick it up What's the best offer on Antonio? Oh, yeah, Antonio Andre thinks half an ear is worth 5,000. He's asking that

Antonio Andre thinks half an year is worth 5,000. He's asking that in court of Peter Fonds and says Fonds bit half his ear off. So this also wants $150 in physicians' feet. Wow. He bit a guy, a guy bit a guy's ear off. And then he's in court. Well, we've seen that. Yeah, we've seen that's my Tyson.

We've seen it. Yeah, he did get Tyson. Yeah, he got Tyson. But still to get to half. So he thinks half his ears were 5 gram. Yeah. I guess. I mean, that's pretty low.

I guess that's the question. What is an ear word? That is actually like, now the art, it's weird to be at a point where I'm like, this article makes sense i'm mad that they're pricing it for half of the year because if you bite my ear half my ear off I'm rounding up yeah i'm calling that a whole year yeah

yeah that's the whole year that's the policy we've always had you you but The policy we've always had. You, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, comes to this head That's eyes ears tongues nose all of it head and shoulders head That's right Oh, is that sketchy Okay, it's not okay We're back on the

Body parts are we are we still front-paging? We're we're on page two we're on the body part area We just let lost his I lost his did you oh man? I swear to God you started with lost his dick and I cut you off. I was like this We're about to see the ears story dwarfed. How much does half a dick cost? It depends which side you bit. Okay.

Well, he bit the part where it connects to the body, but not the top. We've got an ikabod cock. Okay, wait, what was the actual article? Lost his digit in a street car. Wow, okay. This is a story out of dis... this was a demoying, this happened in demoying. Okay.

Give me back my finger, I paid my fare yelled Vincent Colsey to the street car conductor. You can have it now, the company can't use it. And... This is an actual conversation. Yeah, okay, said the SEC as he opened the platform door and let Colsey remove the tip of his finger, clipped off by the sudden closing of the spring panel Colsey's at the city hospital. Okay. So, so. So, okay.

So the conversation was really casual. Give me back my finger. I mean, get it for you. I like to think you said give me back my finger, the way the same cadence that Mel Gibson said, give me back my son and ransom. Yep. Give me back my finger.

That's right. Well, then the guy responded, you can have it now. You can have it now. The company can't use it. You can have it now. The company can't use it. So, the street car company can't use the finger. You can have it now.

He must be having a laugh, right? Maybe they had a thing, a thing that they did with fingers, but at this point, they're not using them. Maybe they have too many fingers. I think. did with fingers, but at this point they're not using them Maybe they have too many fingers. I think I was out of common things. I'm maxed out of finger Like if you didn't pay your fare I bet I they going 30 cents or one of your fingers. I'll do a finger, please And my son's coming with me too. So take my pinky I Bet it happened all the time. What happened?

He put his finger where? It says the sudden closing of the spring panel. So the dormist just quickly closed and he had his hand there. And he was like, that's where we're headed. Oh! Yes! Yes! Oh no! And he and me. That's where we're headed. Oh! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Ah! Oh no! Ah! And he and me look like the bear. Yeah. Yeah. I want my money back! Give him a finger and my bear.

Well, we know in half an year's worth five grand. I'd put a half a finger at about 2,5500. Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! with five grand I'd put a half a finger at about two fifty five hundred I hate to victim Blake next one but yeah it was active for it to sound like yeah well he right after he was asking for it especially he's like man I have it back. Oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, couldn't or wouldn't. Kay beat him to death with his shoe. No wait, not to death beat him with his shoe. She's just beat him with his shoe, sorry. Yeah, I thought he beat him to death. That's how you make someone beating someone with a shoe less of an impact. Lead with he beat him to death and then be like, no, no, he just beat him. Now I'm like, oh, that's not much.

He lived. No, that's very little. Oh, that's fine. I traded like an immigrant mom will treat you just beat you with a shoe. Yeah. Yeah. That is or not. Yeah. But So some guy gets put into it cell with another guy and the other guy's like climb out and he's like it's a fucking cell. What are you talking about? Climb out and then he gets beat. I was gonna. Was that is that that even pot was this when they were like we got to put a roof on these

They're not sticking around I think I turned around as a ladder. Oh, yeah get out of here. Why are you in here? I'm hanging I and also the the Gump should to be like I want a better roommate. It's like what this is I mean I don't know what jail was like in 1920, but I certainly don't know if it was like big brother It was like you were allowed to be like um no But he wanted a roommate who wasn't too much of a pussy to escape Yeah, he was like get out of here. He's like I can't he's like you're not right for me. I

Want one who's willing to go time. Yeah Shoot times a great thing to say what a shoot time. Oh god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Shoot time. You don't heal from those injuries. Ah, hey. My dad's here. Here's a really great headline. They all ate pears. Everyone around the police station was munching on pears this morning. I gift them. Yeah! What the hell?

I think we broke Maggie. Oh pretty. It's a page two. Maggie's gone. This is my type of like a friend got the call of like why is there an eating error? It's in a fucking paper. It must have been Sunday. The cops of the sitarounds like you know we should call the paper about this. Shit.

You know what? Call the paper. They love this sort of stuff What you got pair news. We're all over it. We just did a story about chairs at Paris and now we'll do this one about the police Everyone around the police station was this morning was munching on pairs a gift from H.C. Passmore manager of woodland trustees farm Chusty's Farm on Cunkard Bike Man. This is simpler times. Because now those pairs have been covered in like, if you're ricein'

content with so much more wholesome back then. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, just a bunch of cops, but pair munching and they're like, we need to cover this story. What else are you talking about? The price of an ear and finger crimes. But what's going on? Look, we've got to have the police station. What were they doing? Did they beat a guy? Is there a murder going on, they're investigating an enormous crime. Let me guess, some of the cops have turned. Maybe one of the cops is undercover, and they finally blown the roof off a case, and yes, they have rooms, that's why you can't just leave anyone. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yes, is is Is a pair

Yes, and yes, with their mouth of course with their mouths and they're eating a pair with their mouths, and yes, yes It was it was a gift. Okay from from who from whom gave them the gift. Oh, let me guess Sonson, okay, all right the farmer. Huh of course the farm all right the twist of this whole thing walk me through it now The cops are eating pears from a farmer and then Come on there's gotta be something. That's the that's the Well, I've eaten obviously. It's not page one. It's page two. It's page two good obviously It's pretty great if you ever heard anything like that I'm not a single I'll be honest I've never heard anything like that but I

think there's a reason wow this one pairs made it to America is that new fruit y'all been hearing about you guys you guys they're not just bad apples what do you mean there's something different I refuse to believe that I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here.

I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here.

I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. I'm not here. rob a they rob even police station it's here have thieves are i have absolutely no respect for the law and the coppers

they are they are talking building a big fence around the police station to keep the fees from stealing automobile parts and tools from the basement uh... wow what an unrelatable era automobile parts and tools from the basement. Oh, wow. What an unrelated era. Big. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

That was like unconscionable. They're also stealing from the police. I mean, the criminals have no respect for the cops. They can easily steal from. I mean, who? I think we might need to think of taking some sort of precaution to not having this area open with things thieves would be enticed by mission build a wall around the police station we're gonna build one and it's gonna be unbelievable and the

criminals are gonna pay for it the criminals are gonna pay for it okay Criminals are gonna pay for it, okay? That kind of was a feel good new story to me. That was yeah, yeah It's got it's got a sad ending, but I like the fact that cops are like well there is it just me or we miss it two more cars in a bunch of wheels The hell's going on while we were inside having a parathon. I think something went bad out here. They stole from us. Wow, we were having pairs. I think polite.

Hey. Hey Frank. Yeah, what's going on, Ted? You notice every time we get a basket of pairs all our cars get I have noticed something like that, but what are we gonna do not eat the pairs? Come on, they're pretty delicious. Yeah, unbelievable. By the way the front door has been taken Not sure what to do Mistress made funny eyes

Oh my God. Okay. Made testifying a divorce case shows judge what that means. Oh, so the maiter was like, it was like this. This has two misspellings. Faces is misspelled and so is New York. It might be feces. This story might be different. How is face is spelled?

G F A C S. Wow. Come on, this story is too good. We got to move. Should I edit it? There's no time. How many G's and cases? She's got funny eyes. Move, move.

If we're lucky, we'll get that prime pair cop story bump Okay, what's the other one that's a wrist-pelled New York New York. How they spell that oh? Why oh why are K? Okay, no oik The big T.C the big T.C. there was a request performance in the Supreme Court at white planes yesterday the request came from Justice a more shouzer presiding at a sweet brought by Henry Tilly

a wealthy contractor of Mount Vernon. Okay. Miss Mary Downes, former maid to Miss Tilly, gave their performance an imitation of the way her mistress flirted with the co-respondent, Clarence Duggan, secretary to a vice president of the New York Central in presence of her husband who was going blind. So they need, they even need like a translator for the husband.

He's like, what were the eyes like? So I can't see. Well, you know many day this, that. Oh, I don't like that one bit. So the maid is giving the performance of showing how her boss, the mistress, as she's called, looked flirted with the clearance who is secretary to the VP of the New York Central Bank. Yes, so she was she they were like and and she did it with her husband there so she's doing like a hot wife or

With with her with her the maids. I was flirting right right no with with the dude This is husband she's doing it right in front of her. She's flirting with someone else in front of her with her husband. Right. Now husband can't see any of this. Yeah. And that was what the legal and the honey. Yeah, was it illegal? Well, the husband is going blind. So yeah, it's for the benefit of no. Yeah. So when no one she flirted with the other guy, I didn't matter because the husband

can't see. Oh, he was like Hey, are you in pain darling? I keep hearing you moaning like you did last Thursday It smells like you're making your fuck face Yeah, he's just walks into his bedroom. He's like smells like fucking again. You swear nobody's been fucking in here. Yes, no way Todd All right, I trust you. Lead me to the bath. When the court first told her to illustrate how Miss Tilly acted, the maid bowed her head

and said she didn't want to do it. Well, this is really crazy, okay. This is get a little weird now. What did you see her do ask the husband's lawyer? I only saw her make funny eyes at Duggan, said the maid. Now show the jury just how she made those eyes, the court directed. So the judge is now telling her to share

about how she did the doei, whatever she did. Very perfect. Seductivized. She's eye-poking him. The maid? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the maid yeah yeah yeah the maid then bent her head with a flirtatious air puckered her lips and made her eyes at the jury the jury was all attention they were fucking they were fucking why is your court playing this? Yeah, that is a witness.

She's a witness. Is the crime, is it a divorce? I think it's a divorce. Okay. Okay. So this was probably key testimony of the divorce. I think. I would love that she's flirting being illegal though.

That would be a lie. You're blind, husband. though, that would be. He's flirting against your wife. Yeah, the flirt judge. After reviewing the evidence, I decided that they were looking to bang. So unfortunately, I find you both like you wanted to bang. I award everything to the husband who's touching the wall for some reason. Sir, over here, the courtrooms this way i'm gonna bang the gava like these two banged in the bedroom

uh... next the justice ordered the witness to give him the same demonstration should given the jury so she flashed rise the judge and the judge said i think that is making faces. This is so creepy. Now will you do it in my chamber? Yeah. Yeah.

Slower. Can you do some sort of accent? Maybe Swedish? Yeah. Miss Tilly, oh Miss Tilly was there. Miss Tilly stared at the witness so hard that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that She's on trial for the first damn place. She's a sound like she's a witch. Ms. Tilly is like on trial for powerful eye moves. And then she just, she just drains the blood from the maid with one look. You're on her. My eyes aren't that powerful. We need to take a recess. She made the maid faint. Wow. What? Diggery says she made the made fate Wow, what

Holy crap Yeah, I mean imagine just imagine being in court and you have to like well that one was flirting You're like what the fuck is happening? Well that certainly was a face the judge Judge shut up is that a judge it probably aren't supposed to if there's a jury, why is the judge saying that? He's probably not supposed to be saying that. He's like, that certainly was a face, right, jury? You're not the same team. I'm allowed to talk to you about what I'm feeling.

Who wanted to feel about that? Have you seen bad girls in a Cadillac? Oh boy. Who reminds me of that face? She made a face. Ha ha ha. And now she's passed out. Oh boy. Alright, me and the jury are gonna go get hoagies and then we'll be back. We're a gang. This is a little story out of London. The act didn't apply to him man at exes at Essex a sizes tried for firing gun in public street Oh, that's England 1920. That's not normal

Yeah, England was America. That's America. Yeah, it was America for a day. This doesn't make the paper now No people like that. Okay, too dead dead what are we gonna do with the police eating anything ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The judge said this law was meant to apply to people all dressed up in full armor and swinging a naked sword. Therefore the jury should acquit. Okay, so the, he's on trial for breaking a law in the 1300s as far as having, like, he shot a gun, basically, in public. Well, they probably didn't have a law probably didn't have a law like a new law

in the books is like you can't do something with your weapon in the street. So they found one from the 1300s and they're like that's a retraction with the judges. That's not a sword and they're like, well, yeah, but it's a gun. He's like, they didn't have guns then. And they're like, wait, what? They did. Okay. All right. what a stupid trial. Let's take lunch I'm okay. There's another English story That's like he was asking for that too like just Swinging around something like tell me I can't Yeah, yeah, it is like it's great when you beat the law to the crime and they're like god damn it

We hadn't thought of that because like after today you couldn't do it But for that day the guys like I was allowed to just go downtown and just fire a gun and everyone was like It's not a sword you can go. Yeah to be the reason for a policy Yes to be the What the law of named after yeah like all that like the Miranda laws you like that's cousin me

that's a shit i like it wow that's amazing you're welcome except you can't go waving a gun out in public anymore that's right there there the Miranda rights i'll take another

round for the boys on the house. Yeah, they get when they got to tell you stuff now because of me. Hey, it's just tossing in the car. You didn't know what was going on. I thought I had to talk to them. Oh shit! You're welcome. Alright, another one out of England. Police baffled by a ghost. A ghost is frightening children here.

A great white cherry potter grime. A great white shape has been seen by many along the countryside and police have been unable to capture the phantom. What are they trying to do? What? Always trying everything but he gets out of our handcuffs every trial we try to put handcuffs on him he's able to wriggle out. What the hell was in those pairs? I

Was a Was an apparition I'm sorry my dad's here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry my dad's here Wow, one man goes cops One man said he came to grips with the spirit and then it wore a railway conductor And it turns out it was just a guy work on a train. It's a guy going to work That's all it's is oh you ghost boy. You're under arrest you all you all Work on the train you know work on a train, you're a ghost. Stop frightening those little ones, you devil.

I've seen Polar Express, I know how these girls do. Yeah, they're all over here. These are not at his story ends. We've all read Polar Express, mate. I'm just a regular conductor. That's what you always say. Then you get on the train and you're a bloody ghost. It's a booboo train. We're not idiots mate.

Get in the car. You don't have to tell him anything. That law has not been brought here. Get along with your cell mate as well. I know you could have ghost bruises. You beat you and that show me, will you? A boy in England has been run over by the cars, the cars. The band? And the bright blood squirted from a severed artery.

A bright blood. Aed from a severed artery a crowd A crowd stood helpless watching him die and then another boy pushed his Another boy pushed his way See in the ghost This is the Ghost boy the may see in the ghost ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and crazy received. Induced him to change his mind from being a cabinet maker to the study of surgery eight years later, Ashley Dupper became the foremost surgeon of Great Brit. Oh, fuck you Bill. That's still. He's yeah, that's not good. So he says like a 16-year-old doogie house or his way. He's just talking to me. He has it himself. Yeah. Yeah, basically. I mean,

okay, look, I know I had to stop the blood. Well, you're in charge of all of it. You're in charge of all of it. The doctor's mind. But if you're an adult and you see a kid's blood starts squirting out of his arm and you're just like, oh, I wish there was something someone could do, but we can't. And then a child comes out, turn a kid's it. And you're like, oh, good show. And you just start clapping.

Of course, this kid's going to be a doctor. And you're like, oh, good show and you just start clapping. Of course this kid's gonna be a doctor. He's like, wow, they really need me because everyone here's an idiot. Everyone's like, oh, where, what are you gonna do? I guess we should just make him eat his arm. What's the next protocol? What do you suggest, huh? I think that's it for him.

Well, he's dead for sure. The arm's gone. Let's just watch the blood run shall we? We're doing everywhere look at though gosh I That a beautiful color stop it you don't even say things like that. We don't need people like you on the I like how the accolades will push them like yeah I like that's why I became a comedian alright. Yeah, right And cheer for like that's why I became a comedian. All right.

Yeah, all right. I'm so great. I'm so great. Yeah. Why did you become a surgeon? I just love the applause. You know, I'll tell you, when I became a doctor, I thought there would be bigger crowds.

Nobody really shows up except for the family. And they don't really clap as much. They didn't say later, life he wouldn't work down grazing out of me just expecting the same accolade. Yeah, yeah. You're going to love your next surgeon your next surgeon you're gonna know I'm from turn to kidding in the road he also does a lot of appendix is this guys unbelievable give it up for Dr. Frank Kauer hey thanks everybody I'm excited to be involved does everyone do except for you I know you're not great. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha! Elevator fall wasn't fatal. How is that possible in these times? I can't just get a smooth. I can't just get a smooth. No one died this time. A kid's arches got ripped off and he died and everyone in an elevator that drops like, woo! That was close lobby

I thought that uh uh or started Yeah right. They're like that was actually pretty fun when we didn't die. Let's make a pretty good to universal city world Frank Hauer has perfected an entirely safe method of falling down elevator shafts. He tried it out the other day from the third floor of an office building here and he landed on a pile of shavings and had minor cuts set up at the city hospital. He's just jumping into them?

No, I think he fell and they're making a wise crack. Oh, okay. I like how you're taking on 1920s speak. They's just wise crack and garrif. And you ever heard a punch line? So, so he we you read it again. Sorry. Now that I know that we're having a little fun. Elevator. Sorry. Frank. Frank. Frank Howard has perfected an entirely safe method of falling down elevator shafts. He tried it out the other day from the third floor of an office building here and he landed on a pile of shavings and had minor cuts, soed up at the city hospital. Yeah, so like this guy like wrote one article and then they were like your tone and take on how the news works Just the story is really coming across properly like well, he just he perfected it like it was an accident

Yeah, but I was thinking maybe you know, he did it like a little more purposeful. Yeah, that's not really what our newspaper is. So, oh boy. Okay. Oh, damn. What if he was doing some jackass shit back then and was just ahead of his time? Yeah. Different. If that's the case, then I'm way more on board

for what this guy's like. Oh, this guy's crazy. He's like clapping up those savings and my penis. Yeah. Standing right on my dick. All right, we're gonna do it. Now let's drop the elevator on our balls. Oh.

Oh. Okay. Uh, okay. Uh, uh, here's a, okay. Woman plunges downstairs. She should have fallen in the elevator. Right. Yeah, why say for? So people just aren't able to go to other levels at this time.

Doesn't seem like it. Naser. Yeah, it's just one of them was like, well, did you hear what happened to that guy in the elevator? I don't do those anymore. Excuse me, Kathy. I'm going to just jump over here. Miss Fanny Bean aged 39 years of 1201 B Street. Dave, I can. Yep. Fell down stairs at her home at 12 o'clock last night, cutting her lip.

Miss Fanny Bean cutter lip. I can. She cut her lip. She fell down the stairs and cut her lip I can't she fell down the stairs and cut her lip there's and this is a news story I also guess which one of your neighbors is a clumsy bit it's for any people you see cut lip don't believe her this I'm a shame she fell she's clumsy know about Who women fell oh Who we gonna give this popper to Well, she's a blinder let's get Jimmy on all right

Miss fatty bee came up with a new way to dive in her house No, the elevator guy get out of here. We don't like your way your angles are weird to dive in her house. No, the elevator guy. Get out of here. We don't like your way. Your angles are weird. The police ambulance responded to a call, but the woman refused to go to the hospital. Yeah, she was, yeah, she, well, this is,

this is America, right? So she didn't want the ambulance bill. She was like, call a noober. There was sounding more and more suspicious. Brings me a bean, fell down the stairs, cut her lips. I've fallen a few times down the stairs, never cut my lips. call a new bar it's sounding more and more suspicious yeah yeah down the stairs cut her lips i've fallen a few times down the stairs never cut my damn lips uh... yet

let's go to the emergency room who's mr franny being in what he's here i like that he took her name to uh... he's like i'll take her name franny beans got a terrible ring to it. I'll go with that. Can we talk to Mr. Franny Beans? No. He wouldn't like that.

That's the police. It's just they're sowing, sowing little bits of a... Hey, if you see Franny, he could have fallen, but she didn't go to the emergency room, so who knows what happened? Franny. a fallen but she didn't go to the emergency room so who knows what happened. The next story is spelled Chicago wrong so there's no one checking this paper when the fuck is the print. You're gonna love this headline, Garret. This horse is is pastry fiend. What the fuck are you talking about?

That is not how nature works this horse is you're not it is I bet you'd find a lot of horses are pastry fiends Don't give a pastry bar. This is why I love Danish's don't he? There's there's forest pastry. No, there's not. He likes him, but he actually know what he likes are donuts. I'm going to go pick some croissants. Oh, Chicago one day last summer, the woman who lives next door to AJ Pickens, agent for the walk again, left a pan of donuts on her kitchen windows sill to cool. Prince the pickens horse sampled the donuts and was lost.

And was not who is getting this into a horse's head. He was in love. The horse ate a he sampled a few and he after talking to the host, the horse for a quote, he said he was lost. I have never. He was lost and is so. Since then, Pickens hasn't had a good night's rest. Though he buys the choices, and oats on the market, Prince can't be induced to eat anything

but pastry. Well, okay. I don't even believe that. I get okay. I don't even believe that. I get it. I get it, but I don't believe that. I don't believe the horse went on a hunger strike because it's like, I'm sorry. I am, I know, no, no.

I'm the donut horse now, so let's do to do, bring some of those, throw those at the old feedback if you want to mind, please. I like sprinkles and I also like the cream filled ones but whatever they got I just will do a glazer along John if you have it whatever. Trying to get lost up in here. Trying to get lost again. I'm sorry. I'm just not lost with this hey so I'm after that lost feeling again. It sounds like when you got to, like, you just get to submit your own new stories and this one was submitted by the person who made the donut talk about.

Yeah. There's a horse out here who does not eat because my mom asked donut. So. Or it this ends up being like someone's like launching off point for like horse donuts. Get lost. I'm doing donuts. They just cut the horse wander out in the woods. Man, there's a lot of donuts where I am. He's on it walking on his back legs only. Right.

You're going to blow back your horse. Yeah. Don't to him and everything. Be a lot of important. We should start making donuts. What was that, Patches? What do you say, we had it out by crazy? Matters reached a climax today when Prince was hitched back of a bakery wagon

and discovered a bountiful supply of bread and cakes inside. Now he insists on chasing every bakery wagon he sees until bakers are frantic. Traffic coppers are sore and pickens is thin for mory. What is going the level I can't I took me a minute to realize we were still in the same goddamn store. There's no way the horse is chasing, like he's chasing pay. This is just like bad parenting. It's like my kid had pizza once and now all it eats is pizza. It's like no, at some point you'd be introduced vegetables. It gets going to go to pizza parties,

but then it's also gonna have to live a life at home. But this guy's like, I just let the horse do whatever it wants. And it just wants pastries because I've allowed this system. Yeah, you you sound pretty cocky for a guy that's never about a pastry horse. You know what I mean? It's fair. It's not you're not wrong. You're not wrong.

I have never had a pastry horse to be fair. And the people with the bakery trucks like, we don't know what to do. It's like, yeah, you do just fucking someone hold the horse back. No, we can't do that. Horses follow human law. They couldn't lock any of those effects then. It was just a force proof. Oh, well, we can't make a delivery. There's a horse down the street.

You know how business goes, right? You know what commerce is like. Damn it. Well, I guess we'll just have to wait a little while until this horse gets to pastry fix. You mean this horse that's dying from this horse that's so starving, it's dying? You can see it's ribs because it'll only pastries that's right it just won't

eat hey I'm a bad horse dad well but he shits custard so it's kind of good boy aren't we lucky arm broken but he finished out well okay falling on the ice-kicked streets and breaking his wrist, Jay Wilson, student at the University of Kentucky, who's working his way through college by carrying papers, continued to carry his route until everyone of his hundred papers have been delivered. Then he visited a doctor's office and also made arrangements for a substitute the following day before taking his beds. This is the story about a guy who broke his arm. Yeah, this is a story about a

guy who broke his arm. And now he's going to be delivering papers that are about his papers. That's right. It's quite a meta-journey. It's like one of those stories where it's like this is not a flex to break your arm and to continue throwing newspapers yeah it's the classic american story of look how hard we work you work so hard you look like an idiot this guy has to have three jobs look at that american will now what's up what kind of this is a chamber of surfitude

he even trained his uh... replacement that's right. Yeah, that's yeah. Now you want to do this with your broken arm. You're armbreak still do it. Do it. Finish it out. That's the American spirit.

Be an idiot. Think about the company. Okay, I can't believe this didn't happen. This next story didn't have white house. I you'll understand white house in every capital a proposal to build in Every foreign capital where the United States is represented an accurate replica of the White House to be used as a residence for American embassies We will be presented to Congress this winter

Where something else can you believe we did do that? We are just the fucking We're batshit craze are just so out of our goddamn mind Proposing you imagine if they wanted to put a 10 downing street in America what would happen? That's where the prime minister lives in the UK in England Getting this foolish foolish person to keep who's sinking the world I mean I the world. I mean, I can't, it's just, we are amazing, amazing to think that, hey, do you mind if we put a, a White House and everyone in your country where the president can live

if he wants to? I mean, by the way, we've essentially put ourselves in every country now. We just aren't as overt about it. But, yeah, man, it's not like we rule over here. It's just like we're a big brother Yeah, it was just here to watch the map of the United States should just be a huge pair of balls I mean we got them It has been proposed that these miniature White Houses be built by American later, exported for the purpose. Sure, yeah, we won't even hire foreign labor in your country. How far have we come?

We need, yeah. This is pretty tight. You want how much for the, okay, never buy kids. Yeah. We would like to, if it's cool with you you can we use our own prison labor in your countries, too? Please is that possible? Watch them for it while we're there don't let them just climb out We ain't we ain't got roofs yet

If they act out alive take this boot and just beat it Don't worry about it I mean so a guy came up with the idea he's like we're gonna build a White House in every country and then someone's like we can't you can't have foreigners build a map yeah because it's the White House so they're like okay they're like giving in that, they won't be foreigners. Be like, well, now we're getting into a whole thing. I think we just, let's just take the American workers over there. We don't like foreigners.

Then why are you putting a White House in their country? We want to watch them. We don't trust them. We're gonna build it the way ours was built by Slate. I'm sorry, but, French of the nation. God damn. That's a good thing.

Oh my, please. Snow Widow, bride at 90. What? Mrs. Adam British Columbia. Miss John McKenzieenzie the snow widow and idol of the crea indians okay uh... again and i can't get my joke and before i did the same time and you can go

uh... again to become a bride at the age of ninety and i have a bride at the age of 90. Wow. This is about her becoming a bride. They still call it the snow widow. I'm Mr. Snow Widow. And this is 1920s 90s. So this is 105. Okay. a room A rumor hasn't that Every evening at dusk an Indian makes his way to the wigwam of the snow widow He will become her fourth husband. This is by the way. Let's go ABC. Let's get this show Now we go to the wigwam where the fourth shooter of the week is going to the snow widow She has three roses and four eligible

bachelors. The weird tragic tale of the snow widow is still whispered at night in the glow of campfires. married to snow. Okay. Why are we whispering? I don't know. Okay. She's a living-canned-fire-tail. A rare-tail. Yeah. Yeah. That is not even a once-a-fometime a few days ago, that woman over there. Yeah.

Living lore. Yeah. Around the adventures of the aged Indian woman woman members of her own tribe are ever weaving at new tales but in the records of the Hudson Bay Company uh... maybe found the true story the crease a the snow widow represents the great soul of the far north miss bachenzie lost three husbands all trappers

to were frozen to death the third died of starvation. Jesus Christ, they're shitty trappers. Yeah, honestly, I think they themselves trapped. It was while the latter lay dying that Miss Mackenzie's tragic adventure took place. They were camped a hundred miles north of Stanley Mission. In the dead of winter, came, game became so scarce that with their two babies, they faced our vision. Then the husband fell ill. Only food would save him. No, no, no. With the two babies, she's not going to eat the babies. I feel like the babies about to get it. I mean, you got two, you know what I mean? I'd be like we don't need two. I mean one's planning

You have double babies. Yeah, that's what I'm saying This one is like a pair. Oh, man. I'll tell you what if it was me baby. You know which one to eat Like this. Oh, let's have some garith loin. With the two babies, one nursing, Miss Bikensi started the 100 mile trip with her with a famished dog team. After 30 miles, the dogs died. Tucking the babies into the sled, she fastened the harness around her own waist and continued 10 miles. What? Then one baby fell ill and died. She wrapped a blanket. Just pointing out that that baby could have been eaten in the long run, but okay,

I keep going. She wrapped a blanket around the tiny body, placed it deep in the snow, and out of the twigs of a pine tree fashioned a pitiful little cross, which was placed over the spot. Then she continued on the journey. On her arrival, food was hurried to her husband, but it was, but he was dead and she became the snow widow. What? Fuck. Oh, I guess after three of your husband's dying in mysterious circumstances, you stay

the snow widow forever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I see why they call her there. What? I mean, like, imagine being like, oh, wow, look, she's going to walk. She's not attaching the sled to her waist.

Is she seriously putting the sled around her? She is sledding. And then just heismaning your one baby all the way back. Still nursing it. Still nursing. Still nursing. Man. Heismaning your one baby all the way back Nothing yet still nursing still nursing man And that you deserve to be a living legend Yeah, that whole story is just like no way don't get married again. We talk is shit Yeah, and you know, yeah, yeah, and you know that new husband she's like shoot Do you want to go get some food? He's like?

She's like, shoot, do you want to go get some food? He's like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, can't convict sword law. This is this story from Paris actually. Oh, okay. Louis Durandu and P. Quel decided upon a duel after a quarrel. Wow. They stood at a hundred yards with service rifles and fired 20 rounds. When Emmy Nisha was almost exhausted,

no one was wounded, and Dondero rushed his enemy with the butt of his peace and Quel shot him dead with his last bullet. Wow. Quel's in jail. Wow. So the two worst shots ever. Is it uncommon to be like in a duel and be like,

guys, I'd look, we didn't, you were almost out of ammo. I don't know what to tell you guys, this is crazy. Yeah, I guess charge him. He could go beat him with the gun handle. We try to pistol with him at 30 miles, two miles an hour. Yeah, that's right. He just threw the gun handle he tried to pistol with him at thirty miles two miles an hour that's just through the gun at him eventually come on come on it's just notice car keys and his ID come on it's time to hit him

and then the one accident wait so he's got him dead on accident he was just reloading I didn't realize there was anything in there. I'm trying to throw his gun too. Yeah, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him, I'm going to kill him. I'm sorry. Oh yeah, yeah, I meant to hit his neck.

Yeah, fuck that guy. I was just waiting to the end for sweeps. So wait, he was charging him to beat him with the gun. And the other guy just shot him right away. And the neck guy goes to jail because they're like you weren't supposed to close. No, I think you're not I think doling is probably illegal. Oh, okay. Because it is 1920.

Okay, yeah. Fair. I guess it was about time we made a rule. The dual rule. Common fence gun law. The one. The finally. And that was the last time we passed logical common sense gun law. The finally, and that was the last time we passed logical

common sex gun law. I like look, what do you want? Yeah, what do you want? Look, we'd banned us all rifles for 10 years. No doles. Ah, shit. Well, what, what, what, what was this paper called again, Dave? Oops, I just closed it. Oh. Let me pour it up. Whatever it is, shout out to them. And this should be the standard for papers from now on. The Craigslist Times, that's what you said. Oh.

This is the evening journal from Wilmington, Delaware. What a wild ride. Well, thank you for taking it with us, Maggie. Thank you for being our guest. That was great. How are you feeling? Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot to take it. It's kind of like you just like dunked your head into the 1920s, looked around and you get to come back home now. Yeah. Um, what a time. But thank you. And yeah, you like I said follow Maggie May. M-A-Y-E. Ha haHa, uh, Maggie May, Ha-Ha,

and uh, thank you Maggie. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Maggie, we're fucking great. Thank you so much.

Yeah, that was awesome. You'll miss me honey. Some of these days. Hey there, people listening to the dollop. This is Garif. Yes, this is the sameop. This is Garret. Yes, this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake

Johnson. It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to We're Here here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and then episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help.

you