The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 351 - Ghosting in Victoria (Live w/ Wil Anderson)

Episode Date: November 6, 2018

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Wil Anderson to examine 1800's ghosting in Victoria, Australia. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDUBBLE MERCH PLAN-IT-CHANGE10

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You're listening to the dollop! This is a bi-coastal American history podcast. Each week I, Nike shoe wearer, pumpkin carver. I'm not celebrating your pumpkin abilities and I haven't said you have a pumpkin. You've been here. You weren't carving them in the fucking room. Wow. Wells Fargo Hader, Dave Anthony. Registrar of American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I usually don't bring up people that the song is gonna kill us but why not with this guy. I was I was on his radio show this morning. I wish you could have come.

Yeah, I'll be fair. I was there so. Remember? No. Okay. His rate is on the radio station. Yummiest ear food available gang. Ladies and gentlemen, Will Anderson. There he is. I scared everybody into walking on a different way. Do the thing. Oh, sorry. 1941! June the 9th, 1860. You're very Lord Jesus Christ. Archive. I'll have to bring religion into it now. Archibald Michi, future agent general for the colony of Victoria. It's on a lot of titles so far. Could be Michi's. I think I spelled it wrong. It's Michi.

Gave a lecture titled The Philosophy of Ghosts and Witchcraft. I like when they start like this. It's happy already. Time to build up to the crisis. All right, Dave. Dish. He gave it at the Mechanics Institute in Melbourne. That's what you should be doing. That seems like a tough thing for that space. We thought this was about carburetors. No, no, no. Sorry. Ghosts. Holy water. Holy water. Holy water. Holy water. Holy water. I mean, I got to get it. He tried to book for his fucking ghost philosophy space before he settled on the Mechanics Union. To be fair, Pax is in town, so what could he do? He'd already sold at high level.

It was a packed house, and the crowd cheered him throughout. He argued that while a man may be wiser, having read Physiology and studied insanity, that caused him to lose the quote, Supernatural Shutter, the terrifically delicious creeping of the hair, and the heart coming up into the mouth when reading or hearing for the first time about it. All I hear is these guys fucking hot with ghosts. My new one's Casper, the really friendly guy. Where'd he go? I'm just closing. It's saying, even though you know stuff about man and biology and stuff, what is real and what is not.

Science. Sure, facts. But reading or hearing a ghost story for the first time, you lose that, the more you know about it. So it's facts versus fake news? If you don't think ghosts are real, okay. I don't like your attitude. Neither does Will. Look at him. I mentioned tonight, I was denied 20 years ago. At the end of the show, Will was great. Yeah, we all miss Will. You know he died in this place 20 years ago, and the night just back tonight.

Crowd just like this one too. Anyway, Will, it's... It's the final episode of The Dollop in Australia, directed by Ed Knight Shailala. Oh, so it's not going to be good. Well, not there. No, no, no. It means we'll have an hour and 15 minutes of like, okay, and then at the end you just do something weird. What if it rained and the aliens were around water? Then they'd be fucked. Obviously a lot of science...

They're in modern times. They just live in a village in modern times. That's it. It's the fucking story. That's right. Imagine. Imagine. They hate the water as dangerous to them. That's right, yeah. Swing away. Swing away. I can't believe the only other person who, like, signs a hero is seen it is you.

It feels like a regular one we're doing in an apartment. That's one of those moments where you sit in the apartment and you go, I don't know if people at home are finding this as interesting as we are, and you've now worked out, no, no, no. It's nice to have real-time feedback here. I've been thinking about this one on Twitter. Nothing, huh? That's weird.

I feel like that movie did a lot of numbers. So, Meach was denying the existence of ghosts, but making the case that ghost stories had value in our heritage, our literature. These are great lectures that they were having at the time. So, he didn't believe in ghosts, but he thought there was value in people believing in ghosts. Yeah, he thinks that it's a valuable thing. So, would you...

He doesn't believe that there are ghosts, but he likes the idea of people believing that there are ghosts. He thinks that's positive. Would you summarize his entire philosophy as being, I am afraid of no ghosts? Yeah. Yeah, okay. That was the name of his lecture.

Who are you going to call? What's a phone? Who are you going to call? Jeff! Rhetorical, sir. I'm actually doing a little thing up here, so... He said, ghost singing and ghost feeling help preserve humanity. Ghost feeling?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we... This is a really weird angle. Don't ever reach for me. Ghost feeling. What are you doing, sir? Ghost like, you know, one day you're maybe just lonely doing some pottery.

Yeah. That's right. Put on the righteous brothers as one's ought to do. Oh, is that my love? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hope this pause comes out fine. Sometimes I feel like I've replaced my husband with bosses, but Jesus Christ, why am I fucking this boss up so much?

What am I doing? There's Jeff Lee's everywhere! Oh my God! This is a nightmare! These need to be done by tomorrow! Jesus, turn this off! I gotta focus. Jesus, come on, man.

I thought I turned it off. I can't reach for it. What is happening? I'll make an astray out of this. That's the move. I'll make an 18-ringed astray out of this. I gotta go to bed. Oh my God.

Oh my God. Oh my God. I think that's someone like my CD. Who is this? Ah! Ah! Oh, wait, wait. Oh, not righteous.

That's what it was. Hey man, sorry. Listen, I have the next door, because you just take it down a little bit. There's just a lot of singing and screaming. Ever since my husband passed away, I've been terrible at pottery. I lost it when I lost him.

I get that. Yeah, when my wife died, I stopped making quilts. Hey, but nobody has a real life story, okay? Fuckers with this guy. She's right behind you. Yeah, get out of here. Now, keep up the talk. She's right next to you.

We're two paragraphs in. Okay. This is their final show until they come back in two years. Little did you know this show will go until that moment. Okay, so, he said that the decline in the belief of ghosts had led to a, quote, loss of the sense of the sublime,

wandering connection with heritage and the magic of life. No. It's just a really weird day. No, I like it. It's the time. It's very much the time. You know what? It's just about believing in something that, you know,

I can be a bit cynical. Yes. But sometimes you should believe in things that are beyond your comprehension. Right. Gareth. Okay. Gareth.

I'm the guy who's going to blow the president to have a trip. Okay. I'm into it. I think you just, I think you just pop it off. You definitely want to start with a cap. I'll tell you how much. After the lecture,

he really fucking hit a chord. Tons of letters were being sent to local papers full of opinions on ghosts and what they meant. Nause. This led to a series of regular seminars and public discussions on ghosts. No, I'm sorry. Okay.

The next year, David Blair responded to this. I was hoping David Blaine was coming out. He responded to the lecture with one of his own called, quote, a plea for ghosts. I'm the ghost lawyer. He said it was a reply to Michi's speech. Blair did not consider ghosts to be delusions of the senses.

He attacked Michi for saying he knew nothing of the spiritual world as a reason for his not believing in ghosts. And the ghosts were all humbug. This was a time that was huge on spirituals, a quote, a system of belief or religious practice based on supposed communication with the spirits of the dead, especially through medias.

So spirituals was huge. Right. Okay. Now, it's big with the middle class. The lower classes are bored into ghosts. Okay. Blair did not believe one had to investigate to see if a ghost was real before believing in ghosts.

Sure. Nobody will. In some ways, you might argue that investigating and to see if they're real will eventually stop you believing in them. Yeah. Yeah. It's like religion.

Don't dig too deeply into it, right? Seven days you say? Yeah. One of them was a rest day. Okay. I'll just believe it without digging around. Let's see if that's possible. The rest day is the best.

Isn't he all seeing or knowing? Well, he gets exhausted. I mean, he was up all week with his recipes. But also, he took the rest day on the last day. Yeah. So don't count it. Yeah. He made the earth in six days.

Don't count the rest day. If you had the rest day on the Wednesday, it counts in the week. Yeah. But otherwise, that's the start of next week. He made the earth in six days, and then he took the next week off. That's what he did.

I never hear the end of it. Yeah. One day off, and I'm lazy. Good God. I mean, sorry. Good Dad. What am I saying? Good me.

Good me. Who am I? Have we had paraphernalia? Oh, yeah. We have paraphernalia. But one of them is a ghost. Yeah, the Holy Ghost. Because he's the brother of the Son of the Holy Ghost.

Yeah. Fuck. I never think of the Holy Ghost as being like a white sheep. Boo. Yeah, he is. He wore a white sheep. Yeah. Yeah.

That was his whole, that was his whole jam. Yeah. If you read the Bible, I remember when I was just boo. Yeah. And he thought it's the Holy Ghost. Yeah. And then some of them have a pop-up,

and it comes at you. Well, and it's Holy because he cut eye holes. And that goes there. Yeah, yeah. Holy. The Holy Ghost. Let's see. He also cut another one,

but that's in the very back. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Yeah. Glory, glory, hallelujah. Yeah. So Blair is not that happy that a sarcastic niche

that ghosts could change themselves to suit the moment and only show up at varying times under certain circumstances. He ended by objecting to the claim that ghosts were always dressed. Hang on, so a niche said they were always dressed. Yeah, yeah. Like in the clothes they dyed in,

in various outfits. In various outfits, but mostly in sheep. At this time they're mostly doing sheep, so they're still shape-wrapped. And he said to look to the Book of Revelation as a motto for a serious study on the subject of ghosts. That's definitely where you want to get logic from. Yeah.

He then sat down to thunderous applause. So fucking ghost might drop. He's killing it. Speech was very well received. It led to many more letters in local papers. People are doing debating ghosts. It led to broader concerns about the colony's spiritual health and what was becoming a common problem.

Decidings, exorcism, and hoaxes of ghosts. Fundamental questions about the nature of human existence were being raised and traditional views of church authorities were now under threat from the rise of science and intellectual culture. Boo! Sorry, that was just an angry ghost. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Good. The new thinkers were Polar Isles. Both sides in the argument agreed ghosts should be explored. Right? Okay, well at least we have common ground, which is important. Through secular philosophy and science, instead of church, superstitions and folklore. One saw ghosts as a cultural phenomenon

that came from the superstitious past. The other saw... The other thought critical investigation of ghosts would lead to the understanding of human nature and soul. Right. So they really put some hairs here, but it's a really big deal. Well, for ghosts it's good.

You are a ghost? Yeah, if you're a ghost, you're like, look, I mean, there's like, they're in. I mean, for the most part. There's just a couple divides. Yeah. So the reason all this is bubbling up now in Victoria is because there are a rash of ghost sightings

and exorcisms in Ballarat. Pro-exorcisms, I think, I'm not sure. I can't work out whether I'm sharing exorcisms or Ballarat. Yeah. And I'm not sure which I'm most comfortable with. Much of which was due to the folklore that came from the new immigrants flooding into the Goldfields. Folklore and superstition were a way to reaffirm

community identity when facing substantial social change and threats to community cohesion. I wish that. Wasn't it? Still having it. They brought their folklore, which had an emotional connection to ghosts. So it's like a clash issue, right?

A clash issue or a clash issue? The poor people... Kind of love, really. The poor people are bringing in the ghosts. The poor people are bringing in the ghosts. The belief of ghosts. Let's build a ghost-proof wall and put the baby ghost in cages.

What? You can't put a ghost in a cage. Oh, I'll do whatever I can. I mean, I know nothing of this because I'm from Australia where we treat refugees with the utmost respect and care. Yeah, yeah. You guys actually turned it into ghosts.

A couple of ghost teens and I. A little haunting. They all float up. Oh, God. The first reporting of ghosts in Australia started in the 1860s. People dressed as ghosts. Well, that's not reporting.

You know, Brad's in a sheep. I think there's an afterlife. People dressed... I'm just happy to hear a story of someone in a white sheep in Australia that's a ghost story. We're not inventing stuff, I mean. We are. People dressed as ghosts

scared or committed crimes at night. Most believe they were lyrical. So at the time, we're young, major, shit-disturbers. Ghost outfits originally were just a white sheep. Sometimes a sheep in a hat. We're getting closer. Hang on. Is it like a sheep?

Or is it like... Is it a sheep around the shoulders and then a hat? Or is it like a sheep and then a hat? Yeah. Yeah. It's a fucking hot look. Also, the sheep doesn't blow away. It keeps the eye hole in place.

Sure. I mean, but then you are creating, you know, ghost hats, which is a little bizarre. Why can't you have ghost hats? I don't know. Just fair. Just seems weird. Why would you wear a hat?

Like, if you're a ghost, you're not going to get, like, sunburn or whatever. Like, you're probably... It's the message. Are you weird about being bald or something? Maybe you're trying to... Why are you wearing a hat? There's no practical reason for a ghost to wear a hat.

This story is fucking bullshit, man. Okay. It's bullshit. So first of all, I want to play a beautiful bullshit. Either way, we'll work it out later. We'll figure it out later. They're both good. Well, I'm glad you threw some pretty sweet ghost logic at this.

We're just following the ghost protocol. Might seem like an impossible mission, but... All right, I'm done. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, sorry. Fast apology, man. Newspaper reports in the 1860s are full of ghosts sleeping out and scaring or throwing things at people they would often also yell.

Oh, my God! And people would be terrified. I wonder why. What do you think it was? I don't know. Ballarat was coming out of a depression in the 1870s, and there were many deaths as men were killed in the mines and from high rates of crime.

Exorcisms became popular for houses where people would die violently, as well as sands to speak with the dead. But in the 1870s, Central Victoria was full of ghost stories, exorcisms, and hauntings. The Argus wrote, quote, ghosts after having been objects of content to the educated and intelligent classes for generations are beginning to grow again into favor.

There are distinct signs that ghosts, which we thought were laughed out of existence, why they're... They left over being bashful. They were like, this is too much. I mean, we're being shamed out here. Yeah, there's a lot of shit going on our way. I'm just a fucking ghost.

I don't need this kind of bullshit. Hashtag me boo. There are distinct signs that ghosts, which we thought were laughed out of existence by the robust common sense of the 18th century are... You've never heard that. That has never been said. It's not a ghost.

It's a space troll, you idiots. Meet logic. So the ghosts are creeping back into the world at these rather sickly times. Ghosts and spirits were serious business, and arguments often got heated over them. It takes... It's very similar to what's happening in our country, David.

It really is. In 1881, there was a public gathering to discuss ghosts. I mean, I know there's the time, but imagine going to that. Well, we've got to hit that. I mean, I want to figure this out. I just hate not knowing for sure. I mean, I'm all fucked up because I started wearing hats.

Oh, that's crazy. You know what I mean? Ghosts used to be just very simple. Got cabbage hat on. We look back and mock so easily, don't we? It's so great, but in 20 years from now, they're going to be like, you know, they were born by 97% of the scientists

that the planet was in irretrievably damage, but all we argued about was whether we should have to take a shopping bag to the grocery store. Yeah, we'll be fine. I think we should, though. Unless all the Australian people get mad and don't. They're ghosts. It's okay, we did.

So there's a public gathering to discuss ghosts in front of the Galway Monument in Ballarat. 400 people attended. A preacher spoke against spiritualism, saying ghosts were the agents of the devil. The furious crowd... Not this one. The furious crowd then chased him off

and down the street trying to harm him. Okay. I mean, he's going to take some stage on that job. They're proving my point. Yeah. Well, also, if you kill him, it's not good for that argument because he'll just be right back as a ghost. Yeah, I mean, think about it.

Ghost stories became a hot item in literature newspapers. Ghosts improved on the white sheetbook. They would wear elaborate costumes, which would give them a nickname in the papers. I don't even know how fathom what you just said. There were stories of headless horsemen, women in white, headless people and animals. So it's mainly headless stuff.

I mean, I think the headless is the easiest thing to do. Sure. Right? No, not to me. Well, I mean, it's basically just, like, you tighten your hat off, you shake, and you haul a bit under your arm. That's right.

Oh, my God! By far, most ghost experiences were considered hoaxing or, quote, playing the ghost. The papers treated them as people engaging in hoaxing, robbery, assault, and sex crimes. All of which people weren't doing well dressed as ghosts. Oh, my God! So...

So, they were... The ghost culture was purely based on breaking laws. A lot of the ghost culture became a breaking law, yeah. Okay. Well, I like the thing that there were actual ghosts who were really offended by the fact that, like, non-living people had appropriated their culture. Right, yeah.

And were mocking it and giving them a bad name. They're like, I don't ever like this rock festival ghost cellar. Like, fuck off! Stop wearing it, that sheep. That's offensive to me. I'm an extra dead person, written to her. One ghost who haunted the region between Ballarat and Kilmar became known as the Wizard Bombardier.

Okay. Dave, what in God's name is taking place right now? So, he's a ghost wizard? He's the Wizard Bombardier. That's not an answer to what I asked you. I'm not even sure what a Bombardier is. I didn't think to look that up. I assume it's a bomb.

How the fuck did you not look up Bombardier? Did you think it was like everybody else would know what Bombardier is? I just assumed it was a guy who tossed bombs. At deer, just a brutal deer hunter. Oh, you don't need a gun. Now, you can get five deer at one time. They're a grenade at them. How are you doing?

I'm Gene Bombardier. How are you? Gene Bombardier, how are you? Finally, the movie everybody's been waiting for. Rambo vs. Bambi. It's Ramby. You know, we combine this up. I don't know how to do it.

I think they... I mean, it can't be right. It's a train? Did you say it's a train? Did he just die and become a ghost? Where did he go? I mean, he gave us an answer and then vanished. So, did you say it's a train?

You just say yes next time. It's so much easier. Because you haven't quite cleared it up. At the moment, we're going either he knows it's a train or he's a guy who can only shout out, it's a train. You haven't quite cleared it up yet. So...

So... It's a train. It was a wizard train. Oh my god, this is taking forever. I wish I could use my staff to get off this train. Also airplanes. I mean, is it a train? Yeah.

Sir. Oh my god, this guy's not fucking around about it. Sir, we'd stop talking directly to you now. What the fuck a bombardier is. Yes, it's a fucking train! I mean, I'm also now imagining that's how he regularly listens to your podcast. I think there's quite a few that do.

Yeah, you get it. I don't know what it is. Yeah, I don't know either. Let's move on. You idiot, it's a train! Train! Yes, yes, train! Oh my god, I've been dead the whole movie! Okay.

I think he's wrong. Dave, let me translate. No! The bombardier is a train. It's not a train in this situation! There are no wizard trains! Oh wait, we have microphones. I don't know why I worry about that.

Bombardier is a military rank that has existed since the 16th century in artillery regiments of various armies, as in the British army. Ghost soldiers? Yeah, there are artillery guys. But in this case, a wizard. Yeah, well, so they're...

Right, wizards of the military. Go ahead. He wore white robes with a sugar-loaf hat. Sir, what do you have? And what is it, though, that you can't? You can't just move on. We're all just not going to think about that and that alone for the rest of the fucking podcast.

What's a sugar-loaf hat? Oh fuck. It's a fucking hat. How the fuck did you write this? I think people won't have more questions about the sugar-loaf hat. What do you think, if you guys have a life made of sugar? I think if you all know what a sugar-loaf hat was,

it's an Australian thing. Well, that's racist that you don't think that. What is a sugar-loaf hat? Well, do not look at my direction. Could there be a loaf of actual sugar? Like bread and toast? I'm hoping it. Oh, okay.

It kind of looks like Toad. It's a butt plug of some kind. Yeah, it's a really shitty hat. What a fantastic butt plug. But what's a combo? What was that note in your ass? It's hot today. It's hot when you wear it in the other place.

That's kind of hot and I only do that when I'm a ghost. Hi. Okay, so we've got a wizard soldier. He's wearing a white robe. He's wearing a sugar-loaf hat. He's wearing a white robe with a sugar-loaf hat. And he's got scare pedestrians with eerie screams and calls. He was known to haunt a particular mining claim.

Quote, it comes irregularly and heaves stones. It comes so he is considered a ghost. He's just some guy in a weird hat who says he's a wizard soldier and he throws stones at people. That's why he's the bombardier. It's coming! The miners would chase the wizard bombardier

but he always got away. Often they would catch a non-ghost guy and beat him up. What did I do? Nice tribe wizard. I'm a tree! I just love the fact that they beat some other random person up. Just as they're like, well, we're all about now.

You know what I'm saying? You can't be with a ghost that you fear. You'd beat the one you is, right? That's right. The Ballarat Star wrote, quote, it must be a joyous time for the Ballarat East ghost. Seeing it so far has escaped any penalty. It will do well to take a bit of advice.

Keep out of the way of the miners. You're bringing to a ghost wizard ban? If he'd write the letter himself, to be honest, he had a ghost writer. Oh, fuck you. That's a great joke. May well be a reflection of the best joke of the entire time. So, it's okay.

I'll accept that when you can go home, you're like, you know what, ghost writer, that's... Fuck. If they get the spear at once, it will be unrecognizable by its own family circle for some time afterwards. So, their plan is to beat up a ghost, though, right? Yeah, and they're trying to catch the ghost

to beat him up, but his paper's like, dude, if they fucking catch you with your bombardier shit, they're gonna fuck your shit up. What I love about this the most is, they're gonna beat up a ghost and be, they think the ghost is reading the local newspaper. Yeah, like a cat burglar. Oh, I can't turn it.

Oh, turn the bar off. Continued on A11. Front page only. One of the biggest moments in Australian ghosting was when William Bellmayne patented phosphorescent paint in 1881. Oh, well. Glow in the dark paint was now available to the masses,

and people loved it, as did ghosts. I think you're safe to say people loved it. Maybe you should believe in ghosts a little bit. Sell me, Doug. One man on Peel Street painted his entire house with phosphorescent paint. So he was single. Steve Pivot of a lava lamp now.

It's like, not in the living room or not. Or a guy with a cat. People. He's a gay and wrong gang. People could see the house glowing from blocks away, and the first night, the fire brigade was called because of the glow. And I think out there, they're like, oh my god!

Son of a bitch! This is a ghost house! I think we found the wizard from the deer's home. Where's your sugarloaf hat, mister? In my butt. As a practical joke, someone painted all the angels at the Ballarat cemetery. Imagine.

They'll look at the mourner's faces. I mean, if I could move out of the Banksy, though, right? That is a quality gangsta art exhibition. It's like going into a graveyard. This will be funny. Especially in this time, people are like, oh my god, she's alive. So glow in the dark paint was a huge fad. Actors would paint their faces

when they performed Hamlet as the ghost. And this changed the way people thought about ghosts. They started painting themselves and became glowy and green, which is kind of like some ghosts are today, like Scooby-Doo or where? To be fair, the ghost said Scooby-Doo, not Scooby-Doo. No, Scooby-Doo's not a ghost.

I'm not arguing that Scooby-Doo is a ghost, sir. Shaggy might be a ghost. I'm not going to push back. Before they were just dressed as Scooby-Doo, I guess Scooby-Doo would take me as a ghost. Yeah, but I don't want to rule. Oh, sorry. So who's raising Scrappy?

First of all, Scrappy doesn't fuck himself. What are you talking about? What do we do to ruin Scooby-Doo? That's what they ended in that meeting, and someone was like, I've got a little fucking dog that never shuts up. I wish he was a ghost. I mean, I'm going to say a reboot, but Scrappy's all burned up

and Scooby is haunting Scrappy. And I thought it's Scooby-Doo. And it would be a reboot. So before people were just dressed in period clothes or a sheet or whatever, now they were glowing. Being a ghost in Victoria Days is a way to deal with and rebel against restrictive Victorian morale. Your anonymous feels dangerous,

goes to break taboos, and avert the morals and behaviors of society. Taboos. Come on. Come on. It's too easy. Keep going. Come on.

With us, you're going to say taboo? Come on. Hey. Taboo. Taboo. There it is. They're often risking arrest, vigilantism, and being disgraced in their community,

becoming a symbol of death. It was the easiest way to challenge class values in social order. One man who wore a white sheet and a tall sugar-loved hat. On top of the sheet, not under. He was caught by two men, one of whom was a big priest.

He begged them not to turn him over to police because he was the local school teacher. You've got to turn him over. I mean, this man should not be teaching yous. Why? Because he's insane. He could be a ghost tonight, a teacher during the day. No, he can't.

Well, you're a fucking anti-ghost, so that's... Don't ever say that. Nobody loves a ghost more than I do. I love the ghosts. Unbelievable, my best friends are ghosts. There's a couple of ghosts in the audience tonight. Where's my ghost? Now I see the lure of this.

What do you want me to do? So, he begged not to be turned over, so instead the priest and the other man just beat the shit out of him and let him go. Well, we've arrived at a compromise. It's called Irish. Compromise. Well, I also love that this was the days

that the priest could beat the shit out of a ghost. You know, I don't think that... I think the priest could still beat up a ghost. I don't know why those days are gone. Can anybody beat up a ghost? Ghosts have rights as well, I guess, right? Did I know it? I don't think...

I'm going to draw a line. I don't think ghosts should have rights. Oh, that guy. Someone's American. Lean over this. Well, I guess... Zero life. Privilege showing him, I guess.

Well... Oh, look at me. I can pick things up. I'm not wearing a shirt or any sort of low-fat. I just believe in traditional living values. I mean, what's next? Are we going to marry ghosts? I boo.

You know, they have to have something old, something new, something boring, something... This might not end. It's just too easy to pun. By the 1890s, all the ghost crimes began to be referred to as the ghost nuisance. Because ghost panics were tying up police

and wasting public time on money. Okay, so if the ghosts are essentially just a bunch of vigilantes who are now just... Not vigilantes. Well, what? Vigilantes are the people who go after the ghosts. The ghosts are... Okay, they're a rogue group who are...

They're individuals. They're not ghosts. You don't know that. I do know that. They're tying people up. You're such a michi. You know what I mean? Have a little something in your heart.

Open yourself up to the magic of the world. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I feel like you took shrooms. It can also be trains, you know? Trains are tying people up? Yeah. Okay.

Some editorials... Okay, sorry. That's my last one, for sure. I'll let you know I've avoided a couple since we talked. Yeah, it doesn't mean that one's your last one. It's just bullshit that that's your last one. I'm done. You guys keep going after that low-hanging fruit.

I did that. I did that. Some editorials called for police and vigilante gangs to patrol ruined buildings and cemeteries. Sure. Okay. They said ghosts should be shot on sight. Is there an emptier threat

to make to an actual ghost? We're going to kill you. Alright, I'm dead. So... So that's a sad logic, because if they actually were ghosts, they couldn't be harmed. But there's a plot here to kill them, and then there'll be real ghosts.

But you don't believe in ghosts. I don't know what I believe anymore. Okay. In Western Australia, near Perth, a man with a revolver and other residents caught a ghost. Okay. Hang on, caught a ghost? They caught one.

Well, they had a gun, and he pointed at it, and the ghost gave up. Well, not a ghost. He was wearing a sheet with eyeballs cut out and decorated with red paint. The locals decided to give him a beanie and turned him over to police. And they set him free.

So they set the ghost free. After they beat him. He's already covered in red paint. Then I'm paid! Most ghost stories were reported in papers with skepticism. The papers enjoyed the stories, but also ridiculed the idea that they could be real.

Though a few were reported as real. In Ballarat, the burnt bridge ghost was treated as genuine. Okay, so... Do we know anything about the burnt bridge ghost? Or is this the only reference to that? Okay. Because I was just getting hung up on the guy

dressed all in red. Yeah, yeah. I was like, oh, there's more. There's someone more interesting than a guy painted red, but pretending to be a ghost who's like, okay, go on. So... the burnt bridge ghost

hung out in a haunted house. Well, of course. And, quote, issued a noise that produced... issued a noise like that produced by wheeling a barrel up and down a stair. I guess a sound they were very familiar with at the time?

It sounds like someone is wheeling a barrel. Do you need a wheelbarrow? No. Very different noises. You sound stupid. Tell me. The burnt bridge ghost was a possibility because

a war veteran led a group to see the ghost. Okay, I thought that would be more to that sense. From Crimea. Did you just let it work, Crimea? Well, yeah, I mean, not us individually. But you guys will go on over to Crimea.

There is no better fucking wall that's happened in the last 200 years that way you haven't tagged along to us. We'll fucking come! Come on! We're already up! We're fucking in! We're fucking in! A rock with you, motherfuckers! Four times!

That was a good one, though. Yeah. We'll get him this time! Come on! So this war veteran from Crimea led a group to check out the ghost, and he saw it.

Sure. And it made his hair stand on end, and he'd rather charge the enemy than enter the chamber the specter was in. Okay. Sir. I mean, thanks to that band, for agreeing that what we do is not as easy

as we might get involved. When the audience starts punning, the show is over. So that's a ghost that people think is real, and then people are scared to go in the house. In July 1895, in Victoria Park, a ghost began appearing

and scaring people enjoying the peaceful summer nights. Police received four reports, and the last one was on Hoffam Street. The ghost was escalated, and really up his game the next night.

A 12-year-old boy named Robert Brown who lived at 32-Meter Street. I love that they was confused. Let's go see him. Was walking home from night school at 9.30pm, and suddenly the ghost accosted it. Hang on, firstly, I just want to delve

just a minute on the fact that a 12-year-old boy was sent to night school at 9.30 at night, which has clearly passed his fucking big time. Well, look, I mean, he's got to go to his medical degree somehow. Oh, Boogie hasn't? We're back, baby.

God, there's just one person here who says, God, I fucking hate these fucking... Yeah, he won't stop shouting out. Now that's a fault! Okay, so here's how this ghost was dressed. He was dressed as a knight. He was dressed as a knight?

Not they not. Wait, is that why he went to night school? No, no. No. That... The ghost was dressed as a knight, pulling swords that he likes. It's mainly that sort of stuff.

It's ridiculous. The ghost can't go to night school because that's when he's working. He would have to have a day job. So, the ghost was dressed as a knight. He had on a breastplate with a phosphorescent glow and, quote,

the appalling words, prepare to meet thy doom. Oh, well, he's definitely a knight. Thy, that's a giveaway. He sat in a gloomy voice. He was going to cut the boy's head, quote, in two shakes. Robert rang screaming

all the way home. He ran the entire way, and he was followed by what he described as, quote, the object. Yeah, but, by the way, if you're, like, a knight, like, if you put on armor,

you should be counting on a chase, but you're not going to be able to get very far in armor. A 12-year-old boy's going to outrun you in a minute. Yeah. And you'll just be like, oh, shit, it's chafing. Oh, a cup of skin! A cup of skin? You know, separated and pinchy.

You know? You can get a bunch of little welds there. I would. You would have been a bad knight. I'd have been a great knight. I'd have been a bad running fake knight ghost. Don't forget, I'm named after a knight, pal. For some reason, a lot of...

Square table. For some reason, a lot of people thought, a lot of people called ghost objects. That keeps coming up. So many people heard Robert Screams as he yelled and heard the ghost feet as he ran behind him, because he's a knight.

He's got the armor on. Quote, clattered the most unghostly noises across the foot... What? I mean, my god. I mean, it feels like it's not a ghost in the way you're describing it as being unghostly. That wouldn't be my first clue.

Like, maybe it's not a ghost. The way this ghost sounded was like, so not like a ghost. He's playing. I'm a ghost. Respect me. I've fallen, and I'm going to need a couple of guys to help me up.

I'm not going to lie. So the ghost clattered with the most unghostly noises across the footway and over evading... I'm not a ghost! I'm not a ghost! The ghost was never found. The governor had been in town the previous week, and he'd given a speech in which he said

there was no better remedy for nomadic vagabonds than the horse pond where available. Okay, well... I looked up horse pond. That one caught my interest. It's an equine pool. What are you fishing there,

for, like, with your big rod? Fish. Oh, not me. No, not me, mate. I've got a body of apple on the end of this. You're going to get me a bloody horse, mate. I'm going to find another pond. What's the matter, mate?

Fucking chicken? I mean, you can actually catch chicken in this pond. With... with an apple on your cock? Did I hear the story wrong? I mean, I did not, but I'm interested. Do you guys hear that ghost music? Okay, so I found a script to have a horse pond. Are you interested in a gilf?

I found a description of a horse pond punishment from 1749 in London. Quote, Yesterday, a young man was detected in picking the pocket of a person at Pay Altus in Broad Street and delivered up to the populace who conducted into a horse pond

and after ducking him well, they stripped him quite naked and whipped him severely, making him run the gauntlet before they permitted him to go off. I still don't know what a horse pond is. I mean, if anything, I feel like I'm more confused.

Is a horse pond an area where you strip a boy naked? And they make him run the gauntlet, which... That's just... He actually writes more questions than you've answered. So it's a place where... That's how they punished

pickpockets and stuff at the time. So they'd be taken out to a pond where I guess the horses were grazing or whatever, and they would dunk him under the water and strip off their clothes and beat him up. They'd take his clothes off after they got him on wet?

That's just rude. So this is what the Governor of Victoria was recommending for, I guess, a bag of bombs. I forgot that the Governor was saying this. It has the man in charge. This is what we should be doing to the homeless.

So now the local paper recommended this for this latest ghost. The night ghost. It was old-fashioned, but effectual. Of course, such a treatment would dial us and put this perturbed spirit to rest. Good luck getting all that armor off.

It's not just a pair of pants and a shirt. It could take a while. Yeah, but once you throw them in the water, I think it's over. He'll rust! He'll die. The ghost stories weren't headline stories. They were so common they were just

packed amongst a bunch of other stories in the middle of the paper. But the reports were so common, they were fairly a lot of people dressing up as ghosts doing bad things. During its heyday, there were usually several instances where the advertiser wrote, quote,

some imbecile is playing the ghost in dark and by streets and frightening women to fits. The ghost was haunting the streets between, when you say, by straights. Do you mate twice weekly? Yeah.

Or... Or... Huh? Or every other week. Well, that's all. So the ghost guy was haunting the streets between Sturt and Dana streets

in Ballarat. He wore black robes with his face and arms smeared with phosphorescent paint. It was believed he was trying to create the illusion of a corpse. A glowing corpse? Well, a lot of corpses' arms glow. You stopped reading from the iPad,

and it's going to be set up. Felt speculative. The ghost was really scaring people, and one young man was so shocked he had to be placed in the AeroRat lunatic asylum? Jesus. So he went nuts.

He saw the ghost guy with the painted arms. The paper warned, quote, unless the police take immediate action, other males and females will follow his fate. The ghost corpse guy had been casting a terrifying weapon for a while. On May 25th, 1895,

he struck again. Shortly after 10 o'clock, two young ladies proceeding homewards were arrested by the presence of the ghost. On approaching them, he covered his face with hands with some phosphorescent composition, at the same time holding up his hands

before him, while his countenance had the ghastly appearance of a corpse. The two terrified ladies immediately ran from the suppressed apparition, in front of two other young ladies, and murmured, there, there. The ghost then ran

up to the group, and, being radiant in the darkness with phosphorous, he so intensified the agitation of one of the ladies that she fainted and was carried into the shop of the butcher, where she was restored after some trouble, but it was apparent that the impression

had an effect upon her mental faculties, and yesterday she was in very condition. I'm starting to get a little worried about this gentleman. The excitement of the ghost escaped. A few guys ran around looking for him.

They're not even defining supernatural behavior. He's running, he escapes. He's an apparition. He should go through walls. He's not a ghost though. We all know he's not a ghost. By the way, Dave, we don't think he's a ghost.

Well, you guys are shit at this. He might be a ghost. I don't think he is. He runs. Some ghosts run. If Carlos dies. If Carlos does, that's your go-to

reference as a runner. It's his ghost-to reference, to be fair. Carlos! Carlos! Yeah, just pick him up as I go along. I'm sorry. Carlos! He's older.

I got him. Actually, now that you've put that argument forward, he might die soon. That's a good point. Can't pick some younger person like Bruce A. Paul. So the ghost escaped, and a few guys ran around looking for him,

and they couldn't find him. What a vigilant young man. Be farmed to discover the culprit, and when caught, give him a sound horse whipping. No one will complain about the punishment, except perhaps the ghost. We don't care what the punishment is, but it must be horse-related.

Yes. And is a horse-whipping whipping, or is that just whipping someone with a horse whipper? Is that just taking someone's pants down and just sort of, I don't know, changing their shoes? Or option three, which is my favorite,

whipping them with a horse? Come or something. Absolutely. The ghost began escalating. That's what they often do. Soon he started showing his genitals to women. Oh my God!

Now it's a Louis C.K. ghost. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Louis C.K. Sarah Slover's like, it's fine, I've known for a while. My career died.

The police managed to arrest the ghost before a group could beat him to a pulp. The name was Daniel Francis. Okay, and what did he die of? Well, he was assessed to be a lunatic and put in the asylum.

Often, police just arrested people for what they were, flashers using foul language, being a public nuisance, and didn't even mention that they had ghost outfits on. Well, this guy was all of those. They were usually charged with misdemeanors, or seen as madmen, and only described as,

quote, a lunatic was found wandering at large. In Sandy in this period, people were taken to insane as I was, all the time, because they drank unregulated alcohol that was mixed with all kinds of crap. Some was made with opioids,

some was just poorly made. A guy in Castle Lane came to a police station because he'd seen a headless horse woman. They tried to calm him down, but they couldn't. He was hysterical, raving and screaming, so they held him down, and he kept saying she had no head,

but her body was fine. How was he saying fine? Like, fine or like, fine? It's weird that, like, it was a different time. It was a different time, exactly. No fucking head, but her fucking body off the fucking open, just...

That sounds like a Tinder date. Well, I mean, she had a good body, no head, but, you know, I'm kind of lonely. I don't know what to tell you. I live in the glowing house, so, uh... I'm on the market. Um... He kept saying she had no head,

but her body was fine. Such a fine body. But then they reached out to touch her, and she was made of bones. Well, I'm not going to shatter the illusion for this gentleman too much, but most, uh... women are.

The police interrogated him. And he just kept saying she had a fine body and no head. For God's sake, say something else! So they finally took him to a balloon and took a silo. And then they went to investigate the area, and they found the dressmaker's dummy

next to a tree stump. I may have obeyed that. Is she pregnant? You got a fine body. You ain't much but talker, huh? Okay. Me neither. So I feel like I have so much to comp you,

and I... I see you enjoy the latest fashions. You like laying down? I love laying down, too. My God, let's find a difference between us. Am I right? Ah, it's good to laugh with someone who gets me.

Mannequin. Oh, God, I'm sorry. I, uh... It turns out the guy's booze had that adulterate, so he had gotten some bad booze and just gone crazy. Okay. In the 1898s, the phosphorous started having radio put in it,

which, besides cancer and abscesses, also caused brain damage. So it's possible now a lot of the people doing the ghosting could have been actually going mad. So in other words, when you're painting yourself to look like a ghost, you're going to go crazy and believe you're a ghost. And there's no reversal for that.

No damage is done, it's done. And it wasn't just men who played the ghost, sometimes women would. A woman in Sydney would go out at night wearing men's clothes and engage what was called male conversations. Oh, my God. David, I'm out of here. Take it back.

I've heard some disgusting things on this podcast, but this is too much, sir. You, uh... You like to stroll out in the street in this football? I'm a ghost. How could you disappear after a long day of work?

Nothing's better. I met this other ghost. She had no head, but she had a crack in her body. I don't want to fall for a ghost again. I just got out of something pretty serious with a mannequin under a tree. But, uh... It's not calling a rebound.

That's my girl. So she would engage... Well, I'm falling for another ghost. This is the lost time. So she would engage and make male conversations until everyone thought she was a man and then she would suddenly flash her breasts.

Louis CK. Louis CK. Louis CK. Louis CK. Louis CK. Louis CK. Louis CK. So she's a lady flasher. The best one ever.

Oh my god, her boobs! She was trying to tell her to eat me a bottle. It's like I just quit drinking a couple of winks and go, come to this open bar. I'm like, I'll do one shot. I'll do one. Hey, make my bottle! I don't care, it's not an opening, I did it. I ain't driving. I think I'll have a shot of adult dribbling her. That's fine, I'm not driving, I'm catching the bumper deer.

That guy up there just bit a hole through his tongue. Now say it, now. So she was charged with indecent exposure and sent to Alun to Versailles. So did they not have prisons? They just were pretty much just like... Yeah, but the lady's doing that. No, but everyone so far has gone to the... Yeah, well, I mean if you're dressed up like a ghost and doing weird stuff. No, but a lot of people just got charged with misdemeanors,

like I said earlier, and brought for the court. Well lately it seems like there's a threat there. A year later she got out. She upped her game. Whoa! The Sydney Herald quote, with a hideous mask and white sheet or robe, this adventurous female has been playing the ghost, concealing herself in the dark under the lagoon bridge

and stalking out upon unwary passengers. Has succeeded in more than once, one instance, in establishing that state popularly described as being frightened into fits. She dressed like a monster now, with a hideous paper... I'm dying to know what the next word is. No, it's been just about paper... Machete? Machete? It says cache, so...

Paper cache is not as awesome. Where are the weapons? Weapons! No, no, no, I've just got a bunch of stuff to print with. Paper cache. With a hideous paper, a shame mask, and a glow-in-the-dark sheet. Obviously psychologists have a fucking field day over this one. So then they caught her and put her back in the asylum. Another woman just walked around with her left breast exposed,

which she painted so it was glowing. Which was what I thought the T-Base series glow was actually about, and very disapointing what actually was a walk out. You want to get out of here? How do you feel? Get a boomer, let's leave. So she's walking around with one glowing breast. It's an interesting look. I mean, it's certainly peacocking.

Well, look, she's definitely a head on fashion. Well, she has a paper mache head on fashion. No, it's a different one. Oh, sorry. There's a lot coming at us. Quote, it's just one, two, isn't it? One glowing. It's from a distance, and it looked like a car that had only one headlight. I think it's a motorcycle approaching us. This motorcycle is unnipple.

This motorcycle has a lady. This is a lady. This is a lady. June 10th, 1895. Quote, For some time past, there's been much talk of a ghost walking at night in Ballarat. Numbers of persons have been much scared. Tonight, a new phase was entered on. Oh, boy. When it got physical. Oh, boy.

The retired miner was walking alone on Eureka Street to meet his wife when he saw a, quote, peculiar figure chasing the woman. The woman she was going to meet. So he was chasing his wife. His wife was screaming and running from it. The ghost was dressed in a white smock with a six foot coffin lid strapped to his back. Dude, who is person? Like a snail?

Like a ghost snail? Like a backpacker? A ghost backpacker? I think, yes. But I think he was trying to get any pressure like he just came out of the coffin. Well, that's not how coming out of a coffin works. Well, that's your back is stuck to it. What? He's been like sweating it? I don't know. I mean, there's a million reasons your back could stick to a coffin.

I'd like to hear a few. Okay, so you start to decompose and you meld with the wood. All right, I'm good. That is like the dumbest escalation ever. Like my guy. I mean, yeah, you're just coming up with superheroes. My guy's got like a coffin strapped to his back. That's why I'm doing deadlifts. Got to get this right. This is all porn.

So he's got a white smock on, six foot coffin on his back. His glowing face is smeared with phosphorus. And he's chasing the guy's wife. So the mind starts chasing him. And the mind catches him and tackles him. Do you think he caught up because the man had a coffin on him? Well, the ghost had a coffin on him. Yeah, I mean, I think it's hard to run.

Even for ghosts. Even for Carl Lewis. Was it a real coffin or a ghost coffin? I think it's a real coffin. So like a ghost is towing a real coffin. That's right. Well, as long as the logic at the moment has worked out, I think. So the minor tackles when they fall to the ground, they're struggling.

The minor managed to get a solid grip on the ghost's leg and then starts yelling for help. No one came to help. The ghost then pulled out a knife and stabbed the minor in the leg. Oh, shit. Classic ghost move. Yeah. And because it was Australia, that boy, that boy Bull said,

that's not an off. Oh my god, no, it is. It is a knife. It's a big knife. So the ghost ran off, leaped over a fence and was gone. The minor reported to police, quote, he described the ghost as being about 35 years old and a powerful man. You can't miss him.

He's 35, he's glowing, and your coffin is attached to him. You guys, I'll pick him up right away. I feel like the description of what AG is, is irrelevant to the major way you would identify him. Like, it doesn't matter if he's 35 or 85, he's got a fucking coffin on his back. What else can I tell you? He had a ball, a very clear ball on his left cheek.

Anything else? He had a bit of a strange walk. His voice sounded rough. I mean, he didn't say a lot. He was kind of a deep voice. I'm trying to think of this idea. Single, didn't have a ring on his finger. So you're looking for a single ghost.

Again, I said mole. Didn't walk too fast, had a knife. Yeah, I caught this six foot cop on his back. That's pretty much it. A mole. Left cheek, big mole. Yeah. Honestly, you get it checked out.

You know what I mean? So that's the thing you're going to look for. Look for the man with the mole. Do you see the ghost might have melanoma? Well, I don't want to diagnose it, but it certainly was probably covered in radium, which... That's not good. That's not good.

His wife confirmed the sighting, and neighbors all said they heard the wife screaming, but they all said they were too afraid to go outside to help. Cool neighbors. Cool neighbors. Why would you go outside to help someone if they're fighting a ghost? Fuck that. You're a good guy.

This is when people started carrying revolvers and shooting at ghosts. Jesus Christ. Now I get the coffin. This had quite the effect. Suddenly ghosts disappeared. They're weird. So they fear death too. So there's not many reports for like 10 years,

and then in 1904 the ghosts come back. On July 13th... It's like ACDC. In July 13th, 1904, Patrick O'Dwyer was walking home early in the morning when a ghost stepped in front of him. It was covered in phosphorous and crossbones with the word death written across his bare chest.

Give away. The ghost that showed O'Dwyer his penis. Boo! You know what I'm saying? I do not know what you're saying. Get out of my way. I'm saying... Boo!

My gosh. Alright. You heard of Lucy again? The men then fought. What? You had a hard fighting position when you're cock out. Yeah. Alright, look.

No dick grabbing. That's my rule. I know it's out. Look, a fella has knees, even in the afterlife, even in another world. From another region. Well, the ghost won. The ghost knocked O'Dwyer out.

Yeah, and I'll teach you to not stop a masturbated ghost in this day and age. I would tell no one that I got beat up by a fucking ghost in this dick out. I guess that's the real miracle of this story, because he's the only person who would have reported it back, because the ghost isn't telling his side of the story. So this guy has literally gone home and gone,

show me his dick, and then break the shit out of it. You've got to admit that to the police. Sorry, so our main question is, you lost to a ghost who had one hand on his dick. Do you want to redo the statement here, because this does not sound great for you. Is this what the dick looked like? Why do you keep drawing it so big?

I said it wasn't that big. And it had a mole. Yeah. I don't know how to draw them smaller. The dick sketch artist? Boy, I haven't heard from you guys in a while. It was a bit ten years? I was thinking I was taking up coupling.

I don't know what to do. My skill is drawing the penis. My name... I'm the ghost of Beck, and so am I. And I am Jameson Faustike. The Testicle Ghost. The most famous of all ghosts appeared in 1904 at Ballarat. It started with the ghost jumping out and scaring women and children

on isolated streets. The ghost wore a long overcoat with a cape that was painted with glow-in-the-dark paint. He wore rubber boots and carried a cat of night tales. As time went on, he started to... I just wanted to prevent it, it was just a cat. Yeah. Totally.

A cat is just like, anyone take me, please? I just... This guy is the worst. Oh my God. That was the ghost on the cat. As time went on, he started to become more confident and he escalated. He would accost young women, expose himself, and sometimes hit them with a cat of night tales.

This guy is a freak. Women began to refuse to walk at night in Ballarat South, where the ghost mostly appeared. That was in the Red Light District, which had over 30 brothels. Ghost was active for months. Please begin to patrol dressed in women's clothing, hoping he would go after one of them. Dynamite.

You reckon you can shave, Pete? Nah. I like the goatee. Alright. That's a reflection of the times where there were no policemen who were women, obviously. But secondly, I love that they've gone. Let's do the Bugs Bunny. I say, are you a ghost?

Reckon I might be. Do you want to come back to my place? I'm wearing it on my back. I keep the rubber boots on. Boo. Hello. So several times they actually saw the ghost, but were unable to capture him.

Now the ghost, remember, who is in an overcoat and exposing his penis? Yeah, I'm starting to think this guy's not a goddamn ghost. This is constant penis exposure. He was so active the City Council held a meeting about the ghost. What about the penis ghost? It's not a penis ghost, it's just a ghost. Yeah. Counselor Brokenshire.

Quote, it is time that something be done to put a stop to the vagaries of this scoundrel, with him causing such a scare amongst the women that they are scared to go out personally if I happen to meet this villain and had a revolver I would not hesitate to fire at him. Counselor, are you saying you would shoot the man? Only his legs. The Terminator 2 call, yeah. They offered a five-pound reward for the ghost's arrest, which was basically endorsing the violent vigilante justice.

Vigilante justice. After the reward, so many ghost parties were now searching for him. He would have never been able to escape if he'd been seen, and he clearly was smart enough to lay low. The ghost then became very brazen and rubbed a letter to the mayor. Oh, my God. He's writing ghost letters? What?

Oh, well, the ghost wrote me again. Good Lord. Quote, dear sir, I see that you and your battling counselors have fixed a reward of five pounds on my head, but you didn't say whether dead or alive, and furthermore, you said you would have me plugged with lead on sight. Mr. Mayor, I give you one, that the first man I see with his hand in his pocket or otherwise looking suspicious,

I will plug a bullet through him. I hope you will caution the rake bite portion of your counsel of my intentions. Yours truly, the ghost. Oh, my God. What? I mean, also, that's not a specific way to sign off, because there's obviously been several other ghosts, but I love the idea that he's taken to the press.

Yeah. Okay, good. I think I broke it. No, I just, like, he said dead or alive. He's a ghost. He's, like, slipping up. Yeah, but Gareth, remember, he's not a ghost. Oh, right, right, right.

I've got to, will you write that down for me so I can just kind of look at a piece of paper? Definitely not a ghost. Right, right. He's a pervert in a shape. Yes, right. Okay. Now, he's just got an overcoat on.

He's a classic pervert, rubber boots overcoat. The mayor did not take the letter seriously and thought it was, quote, a waggish friend who desired to have a joke at his expense and at the expense of his T-total friends on the council. It turned out the police had a suspect under surveillance for some time after a woman said she recognized the ghost. They had been shadowing him.

It turns out he was not even trying to be a ghost, but the police had started calling him the ghost to throw him off his game. What is going on? The cops are now saying he's a ghost to make him feel extra threatened about going to the ghost. I think they were just trying to fuck with him. And now he leans into it and he's like,

I am a ghost. Yes, basically. This is like a Marvel movie. It's much less explanation. Much less explanation. The very same day. The predictability. Yeah, for sure.

The very same day the letter was printed in the paper. The police went to a well-known local store where the ghost work is a clerk to arrest him. So ghosts had day jobs? This one didn't. His name was Herbert Patrick MacLennan. When he died. When the police showed him their warrant

and informed them of the charge, grossly misbehaving in the presence of the ladies, which I've done, he was irritated. He was being arrested and asked, quote, what even have you got against me? They locked him up and searched his house where they found the incriminating articles

of clothing and some props. The community was relieved and arrested and finally been made. But people in the town were shocked because he was well-connected and a well-respected man. He was known as a public speaker and most who knew him thought he must be innocent.

In court he was tried for willfully and obscenely exposing his person and is therefore deemed to be a rogue and a vagabond, as well as other charges. I guess you've got an attic current if you expose yourself to a woman as opposed to a man. So the courtroom was packed.

Huge trial. But because women were going to testify about what had happened with the ghost, the courtroom was cleared up. One woman said it was him and that she had threatened to run him through with her parasol. Her friend then took the stand

and called him a low blacker. Five women testified. Herbert's defense was that it was mistaken identity. But if it was him, he would have hidden his face. So he's gone with the OJ defense. If it was me, this is how I would have done it.

If the sheet does not fit, then you must acquit it. The magistrates determined Herbert misconducted himself. The prosecutor then decided not to go further with other charges so he could be imprisoned. He was sentenced to a year hard labor,

but was soon released on appeal. After he came up on Alibi for one of the attorneys. One of his friends came forward and said he had been with him seven months before. He had just forgotten about it until he found a receipt

on his desk that was from that same day and then he remembered that he had hung out with him that night. He said that he remembered clearly because they talked about football and bicycles. Oh, yeah. Now that'll stand out in an evening for sure. I'll never forget it.

We talked about bicycles. What a memorable evening that was. Oh, the fun we had. And also this was like the 1800s, right? So they told you bicycles would live in. Oh, the marvel of how one wheel is disproportionately larger than the smaller wheel.

It's very big. You know, some people are saying they're going to shorten that front wheel and I'm saying you'll look crazy. Riding around on two regular wheels. What did you do? It's madness. Imagine reaching the pedals.

Foolhardy. Fucking idiots. So the judge done it due to the original evidence. There was no question the original conviction was correct but with this new evidence everything was changed.

The women were clearly mistaken. All of them. And Herbert went off free. Now this type of judgment helped lead to more vigilantes. Could you imagine a judicial system that doesn't believe women when they come forward with accusations?

No. It was 1800s. Yeah. Shocking. Yeah. Or make them judges. Yeah. Women felt unsafe on the street.

People in Ballarat questioned the verdict but the attacks by the ghost stopped. Probably because you've been out. Some people obsessed with exposing ghosts to folks. This became known as laying the ghost. Well, that was what the ghost was after. It sounds like.

The most famous ghost hoaxer was Charles Corman. He was a militant militant man who started patrolling local cemeteries with a shotgun at night. What? What? Okay.

We've got those guys in America now. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. But cemeteries mean live cities. Yeah. One night a ghost came across Charles on the road

and he shot the ghost and believed he had put a lot of buckshot into the ghost's legs. The ghost still managed to get away. Charles Corman never shot at anything other than ghost legs. That's a cool tagline

for your business card. On the ghost legs, shoot a guy. Don't shoot high. A year or so later Charles was walking near Soldier's Hill around midnight when he was confronted by an object that got up, quote,

in the most ghost fashion. Well, that's getting up like a ghost. Charles did not have his gun with him but he'd have his walking stick which he used to beat the ghost senseless. Jesus Christ. When do we start referring to these people as ghosts?

That's when Charles went aside. He lived over and saw a woman who had fainted when she saw the ghost. He whisked her off to safety. Or she fainted when she'd say they're complete strangers. Think of her now. I'm a complete stranger.

Peter ended close to death. Don't worry, miss. You're coming with me. No, you're a murderer. And the other guy might not have been a ghost just by the kind of walk that he'd be on. She fainted because of the ghost. Oh, she's at quite a state.

She saw a ghost. Oh, my God. He was so bloody. She won't get over it. She's just stricken with shock. In 1913, another Ballarat ghost had been scaring like new children for quite some time.

On May 9th, a 75-year-old milkman finished his making these rounds. He was walking home, and a white-clad figure glided noiselessly towards him under a hedge. Well, yeah, of course,

he saw all of this for sure. Something like phosphorus blowed all over the loose road of the Spectre. The ghost tried to grab the old man, but he dodged it. A second time the ghost tried to seize him.

The milkman was terrified, and he collapsed on the street. Luckily, a group of miners were coming off their night shift and passing by. What kind of milkman is delivering in darkness? I think that's what milkman delivered.

At night? Yeah, yeah. So when you got up in the morning, the milk would be there. Not in England. They used to do it in the morning. Not funny, but so accurate. Night milk at Kirtles.

It wake up like a mug of cheese. It's not like fucking midnight. It doesn't like 4 a.m. before it were... Oh, all right. Your story checks out. Jesus Christ. Hey, someone's got to push it. You're a milk idiot.

I want the best out of you. I'm making sure I'm getting it. So they find the old man in serious condition. He told them about the ghost, so they went looking for the ghost using their miner's lanterns. And they found him about

a hundred yards away hiding in a hedge. Well, much like a ghost. They ripped off his ghost outfit. It was a 20-year-old kid who then is severely beat up. The idea of... Also, firstly,

in this world a 20-year-old isn't a kid. There was a 12-year-old doctor like two stories back. It's fair. If you're a 20-year-old and you're sure a burden was a kid, you're wasting your fucking life

dressing up as a sheep and pretending to be a ghost. You're fucking two for nothing. Oh, I want to be a ghost, mother. Well, you fucking won't be. No one's going to remember you like the burning bridge guy or a coffin back.

You're 20. You've got 10 good years left. Foolish man. They brought the old man home who was said to be in a very weakened state. The article in the Herald ended with a cautionary tale about ghosts in the area.

Quote, Some years ago, a youth engaged by the government in Ballarat was frightened in a similar manner and now is in a lunatic asylum. Being a bad ghost was happening in many places.

Victoria England also had a rash of ghost hoaxing, as did Boston, even Czechoslovakia. All over the world, but it seems Ballarat and the surrounding area had the most going on. Yeah.

Ghost cap on the world, baby. Yeah. But then ghost hoaxing suddenly stopped. World War II had arrived. Ghosts were going to war. Good luck, Germany. Who do you think you are kidding, Mr. Hitler? Was that show called?

Yeah. So that was it. Ghosts were going to war. Suddenly dressing like a ghost and scaring people didn't seem as enjoyable. And the reign of terror. This is the real possible war.

Of the ghosts. The reign of terror of the ghosts of Victoria was over. Wow. The wall. I mean, I've never really considered it up until now, hearing that story. I'm starting to think the wall

wasn't a good thing. You're finally solved, huh? Yeah. So they weren't ghosts, you know, I think, huh? No. So it was weird. There wasn't a lot of ghosts

in the first wall. Right. But there was a lot of world war. Boo. Oh, you bastard. And even my throat tried to stop that coming out. Your body was rejecting your pun.

You were like, I won't fight you. Nice try itself. I guess you're dealing with Will. Trying to shut me down. Gallup. Booly. Oh, that's offensive, bro.

I know. Yeah, no, I crossed it. I'm in a fucking country making fun of our fucking greatest fucking war month. Where we got the wrong beach by the fucking British mate and then we fucking lost.

Fuck. It's fucking great day. We get a day off and don't you fucking come to this country and fucking insult us, mate? Yeah. And our fucking ghosts.

Yeah. At least the ghosts are fucking white, mate. I love those people. Yeah, coming to our country. Taking our undead jobs. I mean, you guys, for like,

can't even get a coffin this day, mate. Bloody ghosts. Got them on their fucking backs. Walking around everywhere. All right, sir. People who are born here can't even fucking go right through there. All right, sir.

All right, sir. Well, for like, split the boots. All right, sir. For 40 years, you guys only allowed ghosts in, right? And nobody else? With your ghosts only policy?

It was our white shit Australia policy. Holy shit. Look, they're all not normal stories. Like, that was one where, like, the first two sentences were bananas, and then it sustained throughout. Like, once ghosts start painting their breasts and masturbating publicly,

you're like, well, no ghosts were just a way for people to be sex freaks. No. No. And then people will be like, no, I'm a ghost.

And then your dick's out. You're like, no, seriously. Yeah. I'm just a ghost. This is my dick. Yeah. Some ghosts are different than other ghosts. Some ghosts have sheets on,

but in my case, my dick's out. Yeah. What do you know what it's like? It starts like that. You start wearing your sheet, you've got underwear on, and after a while you're like, you know what?

I'm wearing your sheet anyway. What do I have to need to wear underwear? And then after a while, you show me a boot to a shirt. Yeah. You know what you do is I would just wear like a half sheet. Sort of like a midriff ghost?

Yeah. How are you? Like a ghost at Burning Man? She's just a hot ghost here. Porky-pigging is a ghost? How are you? The show's up here, gang. Come on.

What are you doing? Oh, just because of my ghost penis? My god. Do you know what year it is? Me either. Anyway. You haven't been aware to see a ghost with a heart on it.

I mean, I didn't know you guys would do that. I didn't know you guys had human dicks. I thought you guys were, you know, all kind of dusty shit, but you cocked yourself fantastically through your decomposition. My word. Well, I'm glad we lost you guys at the end.

That's funny. Bank that dick drum one too many times. This will happen to you. It's really Neil Purdinger there for a minute. I mean, that's all Louis C. kicked it for years. It was very successful. Yeah. Yeah.

Wasn't as public about it. Whoa. Hello. Louis took a little shrapnel this evening, huh? It's like in this day and age, you can't block a doorway and masturbate without it sticking with you for a little while. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I should be wrapping up soon though, right? Because it's late. It's a Monday night and I've got breakfast ready. I've got to catch the last bombardier. That guy will take you. He's right up there. He's tongue-less, but he's right up there. Yeah, listen to Will on...

Yeah. Like we said, this is our last show here for a little while. So we want to thank, not only everybody who came out, we want to thank everybody who brought people, everybody who brought us gifts that we couldn't say thank you to. The support we get, it really is unbelievable. We want to thank our guest, Will Anderson. We really appreciate the fuck out of you guys,

so thank you so much. Appreciate it. But we're not going. To me, one of those shirts? Yeah. Tom? Tom Downey? Tom?

I don't miss this. This is the big one, but... Yeah. It's like that. I understand. No, I don't want it. I'll play it over the phone. Fucking scared.

Fucking scared it goes. Yeah, go ahead. I'll put this match right here. Oh, you got it. There it is. It's the ghost of Tom. Look at him go, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost, ghost! And thanks to Tom Downey.

Thanks, Tom. It's unbelievable. Thank you. That's more important. I mean, did you notice Tom walked across the entire stage? Yeah, yeah. Tom knew it. It's like a moment.

Yeah. You know, it's funny about shirts. He just starts going into a bit. No, no, give me the fucking mic. It's funny about shirts. Oh, what's going on? I was just looking to see what he did to the generals there. Your cat.

I got worried that he might have done something bad for a second. Because you know how it changes. Maybe you don't brag about looking at the cat generals. But we know that he wanted to draw a cock and balls on that dog. It's a kind of dog. It's a kind of dog. It's more specific. Let's not.

Let's not do this here. Let's not do this here. As we always do, let's say we're from backstage with this argument. Some of you have been to more than one show, so you heard the speech, so I apologize. So a lot of people don't know a report came out two weeks ago by the IPCC, which is a group of climate change scientists who get together for five years, and they talk about what's happening with climate change. So I put a report two weeks ago, and it basically said, we have 10 years.

They didn't fuck around. They said, we literally have 10 years to stop what we're doing, or it's over. They said there'll be food scarcity, mass migration, 50% of animals will die, all the coral will be dead. So we're fucked. So I was trying to think about what to do because I have a son who's nine, and I talked to other parents who were freaked out. I know parents whose kids go to bed crying at night because of climate change.

And when my son the other day, we were in the car driving, and he was like, ah, when I get older, I'm going to have two kids, and a big house, and I'm going to play baseball. And my first thought was, you're not going to have any children, because you're not going to want to have children in this world, because that's what the scientists literally just said. Don't bring a child into that world. So we're at this place where we've got to mention any of these who don't believe in science. Fuck off. They're the minority now.

They really are. And the argument we've been having is fucking bullshit, because we argue whether or not the science is real. And that's on their ground. But the truth is, is that the scientists have done their job. They have proved that climate change is happening. At this point, saying climate change isn't happening is like saying there's no such thing as air or grass. It's fucking ridiculous.

So we're putting together a group, which we've put on Facebook, called Planet Change 10, P-L-A-N-I-T Change 10. And the idea is to get these people together and kids who are scared. And when people hear what's happening with the climate, there's a psychological condition that happens where they shut down, because they don't know what to do, because we feel powerless, because our governments are pretty fucked. So the idea with this is, is to take all those people and get them all together,

and get them talking about their fears, and get kids talking about their fears, and have artists involved, and have artists watching those discussions, and have artists take what people are feeling and turn it into art. So they take it, put it online, or we can even have street art, where we are fucking plastering shit out of us, but there's a million artist ideas to do stuff that artists can come up with. They can make people who are scared feel powerful and start doing little things. You can, it can take that fear and turn it into something that can make a change.

They control the media, let's control the fucking streets in the internet. So the idea, and it's a big idea, it's like let's get everyone who's feeling like this together in a group, and there's no one in charge, we'll just try to, you know, put people together, and make things happen. I mean if you think about like the organization that some of these like alt-right groups have, like it's fucking scary, and this is like, there's not really, you know, a way to actually affect the people in power, but the truth is it's like old white dudes who are going to die

before they really feel the effects of this shit, so why would they give a fuck? You know, when you live in a world where your government is made up of like, including lobbyists around a thousand people, and we're the rest, they should not, we should not live in fear of them. They should be fucking scared of us, and by trying to at least do shit to disturb that, and try to change it, which again is not going to be easy, but it would be better to be active than to just be like, no we'll fuck it, you know what I mean, I got ten Super Bowls left, or whatever fuck.

Like, you know, we're willing to get up and try to do something, and I think what we're basically asking is take your phones out, now we don't give a fuck, now's the time to do it, and just join, Planet Change 10, Planet Two Words, P-L-A-N, New Word, I-T, and join it, and fuck these fucking assholes, right? It's also on Twitter, same thing on Twitter. If you take the kids who are scared, and we all had them right out their fears, and they went down to like Scott Morrison's office, and just read them,

even if he didn't fucking come out, if he got depressed there, that's a thing. That's just a fucking thing that turns into something, because if people see that people are scared, especially kids, it's gonna affect them, and they'll start to fucking wake up, it's just gonna happen, we have to put our fears out there. So join the group, like spend the next ten years trying to do something about it, and just letting these assholes feel like they can pull one over on this. Thank you guys very much, we appreciate it.