The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 354 - The Hayes Tilden Election Nightmare (Live)

Episode Date: November 28, 2018

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the  Rutherford B. Hayes and Samuel J Tilden election of 1876 live at the Lincoln Theater in Washington DC. SOURCES TOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCH

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This is a bi-weekly American History podcast. Each week I, Boddington's drinker. Don't point to me. New fence owner. Congrats on that, that's huge. Thank you. Build a wall next time, but a bigger. That's fair. The black keys enjoyer, Dave Anthony, reads a message from American history. A message? It's a story you know? Read the text message. It's a message now. Okay. It's a message from the past. Stop vamping. Begging for help. To his friend, Gareth Reynolds. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about or what's happening right now. I'm in a I'm in a special place. Okay, it's Gareth. Don't say Gary. Come on. Can we? No. No, we

did this. We did this. We did this. We did this. I don't want it in a round. He brought that. Thank you, sir, for being respectful and calling me what my family does. It's all a nightmare. Your mom's a great kisser. Why did that happen? No. 1876. Rude. America was 100 years old. Congratulations. An actual surviving representative democracy, which is an outlier in the world. Not a lot of that going on at the time. Weird. Imagine a world where democracy isn't thriving. Most people thought it would never work when we started it, but look at us now. Crazy little thing called love, huh? Ulysses Grant's administration was coming to a close. It was one of the most

scandal plagued administrations of all time. Hold my beer. Grant trusted those who were close to him and defended them even when the evidence of corruption was completely overwhelming. Boy, I mean, am I just gonna stand up here and hit soft balls for 20 minutes? His son said Grant was quote incapable of supposing his friends to be dishonest. A flaw, some would say. The first scandal was the Black Friday Gold Panic. They were selling flat screens. It's the day after Thanksgiving. The two financiers cornered the gold market to drive up the price and Grant intervened, sold government gold, and then there was a panic in the

market crash and the entire economy went with it. This is like a feel-good sort of story is what we're aiming for. So then they were in a depression. Okay. There was also the New York Custom House ring scandal. You don't need to explain what that is. The Star Route postal ring scandal in which they sold fictitious postal routes to contractors. Were they sold? Yeah, yeah, no. There's the route from Oregon to... I just, again, I did it for the third time and I'm not seeing the route. It's from Oregon. It's mountainous. Isn't it mountainous? There's mountains, there's lakes. And there's homes up there? There's bears. Am I supposed to be delivering

these to bears? There's a city up there. You just got to go up there. I really went up the, again, you sort of trail off when you say the area. No, that's the traditional Native American pronunciation. Okay. Well, I guess I'm off from my fourth. Good luck, buddy. Thank you, man. My feet are cold. Yeah, they are. So are my hands. I'm going to cut them off. Huh? There is the salary grab scandal. That sounds promising. The Delano Affair, the Pratt & Boyd scandal, the Belknap scandal, the Whiskey Ring scandal, the Sunburn... Wasn't there a scandal in... The Sunburn contract scandal, the Catalism scandal, the Safe

Burglary conspiracy, the Credit Mobilear scandal. Hey, we're a union. We're the Burglars Union. We want some respect, goddammit. And the crime of 73, which moved the U.S. to a gold standard, helping the rich and fuel the populist movement and caused a depression. Okay. So the term grantism was coined. Okay. What for just being incompetent? It meant fraud, corruption, nepotism, etc. etc. Sure. Sure. Awesome. Which we don't know about today. No. So the name of the game in the next election was to find someone who was not corrupt. Oh, boy. And was this that crazy time when we only got to choose from two? Yeah. Yeah. Imagine. Two. And two.

It would be crazy. I know you look back. When you look back, you're just like, two people. How did they do that? All that's going to do is make the population turn on each other over wash issues. I mean, it's just like, what? I like the round robin system we have going on now a lot better. Vote madness. It's great. Samuel Tilden was born and raised in New York in a wealthy family that had made its money from a popular patent medicine that had pot in it. Well, I don't like part of what I hear, but then I heard the last part. Let's go. Tilden was a sickly child, which kept him out of school. That's a lucky child. Yeah. He studied

politics at home like a normal kid. Yeah. He learned about how if you flip the house, it doesn't mean anything. Oh, they're not going to do shit. After all this, he ended up going to Yale, but dropped out after one semester. Because it was the mid 1800s, we don't cheer Yale here. I think that person's cheering one semester of schooling to be fair. That's not a yell. That's someone who's like, yeah, yeah, one semester. It's fair. Hang around like Van Wilder next time. Get a golf card. Do you think there was like a spray? Just drifted out over the audience. It's like a spray of Lincoln mist that came out of the balcony. You talking brain dust? Yeah,

brain dust. A lot of stovetop stuffing. Because it was the mid 1800s, after dropping out of school, he went to study at New York University Law School. So how does that work? You just go, you know a guy. There's a guy you know and your dad's got a friend. He's like, I'm a lawyer. You want to be a lawyer? You're like, yeah. I went to Yale for four months. I mean, is that good enough? In 1841, he got into the bar and became quite a corporate lawyer. He actually was very good at it. He became very rich. He was against slavery, but also opposed to Lincoln. Tillden was more soft anti-slavery. What kind of bullshit? Like he was like, let's be

pragmatic. Let's compromise about slavery. What is the middle ground? Well, you know, we like to do middle ground on stuff. Sure. Yeah, big compromise. He still supported the North when the war broke out, though. Then after the war, he broke from Boss Tweed in New York and he became an anti-Taminy Hall Democrat. Okay. He began an investigation into the corruption and eventually helped take Boss Tweed down, which is a really big deal. We don't cheer Irish people getting taken down. Or speak of them. We don't speak of the Irish on this podcast. So this made him super popular. He was elected New York's governor in 1874. He kept fighting

corruption in office, so he was exactly what the Democrats were looking for in 1876. Okay, great. I feel like this is a feel-good tale. So he's like the only choice. They had no one else they had no one else they were even thinking about. Okay. On corruption, Tillden said, quote, the government no longer exists for the people. The people exist for the government. Okay. Yep. All right. That's gone, at least. Yeah. Tillden never married. He was a lifetime bachelor. Oh, did he get his cat stuff to give it a purr box? Yes. Nobody does that. Well, they didn't have the technology yet. They wouldn't do it anyway. Okay.

Rutherford B. Hayes was from Ohio. His dad, his dad died when he was 10 weeks old. Okay. As someone always asked to. Yeah. Rutherford B. alone. Let's stand by it. Yep, I would. His mom never married after that. He went to prep school in Connecticut, then back to Ohio for college. Very good student. Graduated class valedictorian, went to Harvard Law School, opened a law office in Ohio, criminal defense attorney, married Lucy. She was a T-totaler, abolitionist and methodist. What a great combo. Mm-hmm. She's got it all. Just everything you're looking for. Yeah, that's like a Tinder profile. I'm against slavery and I'm

boring. Hayes was at abolitionists as well and helped fugitive slaves in court when he could. Okay. Then he became the Cincinnati City Solicitor and when the Civil War came, he was not big on the idea of the Civil War. Okay. He thought the South should just be allowed to leave. Well, Jesus, why did we stop that? Yeah, looking back on it. I mean, honest to God, like what is the deal? I mean, I know it's like the equivalent of the sitcom trope of putting tape down the middle of the room that you share, but at the end of the day, wouldn't that just be better? Well, everybody got over it, so it's fine. No, they didn't though, I feel like. It's

now just two sides being like, Nazi. And they're like, no, you're Nazis. We're like, what? No, what the fuck? They're Nazis. They have a retort to that. You're a Nazi. I know. Yeah. I'm not a Nazi. No, you are though. Welcome to, welcome to Twitter. No, you are. No, you are. Here's a link. Fuck you. Did you even read it? Yeah, I read it. You're Nazi. You're Nazi. Four favorites. All right, next. So Hayes joined the Union Army when the fighting started. He was a natural leader, bravery noted by his commanders, eventually promoted to Major General. Okay. So after the war, he was elected to Congress as a Republican. So now we got to run, because Republicans and Democrats

were switched. That won't happen again. So at this time, the Democrats, the Republicans, the Republicans, the Democrats, very easy to, it's very easy to figure out. He helped to pass the Civil Rights Act of 1866, became Governor of Ohio, served two terms and then wanted to retire from politics. Okay. But three years later, the Republicans nominated him for governor anyway. Did he know he was just at home like stoking the fire? What I'm winning? What do you mean? I'm done. Yeah, back then they would just be like, I want Frank. Everyone else sucks. Let's get Frank. And Frank's like, I just want to hang out with my dog, yellow. And they're

like, why's your dog yellow? Don't, you're governor. As the non historian, was it a dog yellow arguing match? No, the dog, the yellow dog wasn't arguing. They were just yellow arguing about the name, the name of the dog, yellow. Who here knows what's happening? Does anyone? It's history, you guys. Okay, I'm on board. I'm trying to make it fun. Okay. All right. So he's just at home like Murtaugh from lethal weapons. I'm getting a little too old for this shit. And they're like, Murtaugh, we need one more. That's right. Yeah. We got one big case. I'm out of here. It's the guy who eluded you for your career. The

guy who killed your dog. Yeah, I'll do one more. Ever since I had the bark box put in yellow over here. I've, uh, oh, it's malfunctioning again. Don't touch him. It goes backwards sometimes. Someone sent it on dinosaur, which is not okay. Oh, boy. Back away. Oh, no, fire, fire, fire, fire. Fire? Yeah, I don't know. It sparked in my head. Both literally and figuratively. Yep. Uh, he ran for governor on an anti-Catholic platform. He ran on an anti-governor platform, essentially. He was seen as a reformer. What did he have against the Catholics? Everybody was against the Catholics. Why? He was just a fucking jam. It was like the thing to do.

Because the Catholics are like, uh, Irish. I don't know. I trust him. So he's governor, and then this puts him in the pile of guys who could be the Republican presidential candidate. Um, problem with the Republicans, most of them were tainted by scandals because of the whole grantism shit. Sure. So, uh, at the Republican National Convention, Hayes was chosen after the seventh ballot. They picked representative William Wheeler to be vice president. Hayes' response was quote, who is Wheeler? That's how you know it's going well. That's the McCain statements, too. Who's Palin? What's, uh, who's a what's? Huh? So it's

Tilden against Hayes. Sure. Back then, uh, the Catholics did not go out and campaign. Okay. Other people would do it before you just kick it in your house or whatever. Boy, that's a way better way to do it. Yeah. Great. Less traffic, too. Yeah. What about a three-week campaign also? Yeah. Or, yeah, one where you get to spend like two million dollars tops. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, it'll work itself out. So, economy's in bad shape, like I said, after grant. So Hayes thought he would lose. And Democrats had nominated Tilden to appeal to the Republican Northerners upset with corruption. And then also they knew they'd get the Republican

Southerners. Okay, right. Um, sorry. In the South, it was, uh, the era of Reconstruction. Tons of resentment, uh, going on down there. Oh, just the great time. Rumbling going on during that reconstruction. What kind of grumbling? What do you mean? What were they doing? Yeah. I don't think I want to get into the specific language of what they were saying. I'm sure they were just talking about how it used to be a lot easier when racism was chill. The lives of newly freed, uh, blacks were a little perilous to say the least. The South is living on their occupation, right? Whites are forced to give black citizenship, which is a

nightmare, as you guys all know. Southerners are resisting. Black codes were enacted to take away those rights. Uh, the KK and other groups were terrorizing blacks. The KK? Were they just like, oh, there's a, there is the third. Okay. I thought they were like a separate group, but they're like, well, we're not crazy about all of it. We're the Klux Klan. And, uh, we're different. We're a little different. We do things a little differently over here. How, how differently? Well, there's a lot of differences. We don't like crosses. Okay. Yeah. Uh, we, if you don't like them, do you burn them? The crosses? Yeah. No. No,

we just build them. But you don't like them? We don't like them and we don't like them. Did you think I said light them? We also don't wear the sheets. What do you wear? We wear dresses. We wear formal gowns. Yep. Formal. Formal gowns, absolutely. Cressage is the whole nine. Like I said, we're not for everybody. What are you doing here dressed up? We go out, we do stuff, we fight each other, you know, we sort of talk about the future. We do a lot of poetry slams. Uh, a lot of poetry slams. Gus over here invented the limerick. So you fight? There was a guy named Gus. I'm still figuring it out. So it's like a fight club in formal gowns

with poems. Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot like fight club. Yeah. Yeah. I actually would join this group. Well, get yourself a corsage and a prom skirt. I'm in a hell of a time over here. Yeah. So the Democratic Party, a Democratic Party had been out of the White House for two decades, but it was making a comeback, especially in the South because of the federal government's occupation. Democrats started winning elections, especially in 1874 when they had a, I guess, a red, red wave. Sure. A big part of this was due to grantism, so they now are in control of the House. Okay. It's for the first time

at ages. This is also the Gilded Age. The Robert Barons were getting insanely rich. Listen to this. One guy would have today what would be considered hundreds of billions of dollars. Oh my God. Could you imagine that? I mean, it's just like one dude with all that power. Yeah. One guy. I mean, surely in this day and age, the government would turn on that person and not incentivize that sort of behavior. Right? Yeah. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Queens. Come on, poor people. Get over it. Just jam stuff in boxes with inflated plastic already and quit your bitching. We're going to make the warehouse out of the dead. No questions here, sir. So they're

monopolizing industry. Cities are increasing in population because that's where the jobs are. This led to corruption. Party bosses running cities. Party buses? Party bosses. Oh, damn it. Party buses ran cities. I mean, if they did. Oh, yeah. Got a daiquiri machine, a stripper pole, and a strobe light. What more do you need from your government? Election officials, politicians are being bought off. So the atmosphere in the U.S. is tense with the southern racial issues, the corruption, the industrialization. Republicans ran on. Their biggest thing was the bloody shirt. Hmm? You said the bloody shirt. Bloody shirt. Sure. So the bloody shirt. That's what an Englishman says when he can't

find his dress shirt. Yeah. But this is different. Much. Uh-oh. The bloody shirt was an incident that they endlessly talked about. The story was the Republican Congressman, Benjamin Butler of Massachusetts, held up a bloody stained shirt while giving a speech on the house floor. This is just going to be so much bullshit. So, yeah. So the shirt had belonged to a carpet bagger who had been badly beaten by the Ku Klux Klan. Okay. Also, this never happened. Right. But Butler gave the speech, but there was no bloodstained shirt that he was holding. But still, this led to the creation of the red shirts in the south who would intimidate Republican blacks from voting. They named themselves to mock the bloody shirt that Butler

had held that never existed. It's kind of a think piece, though, isn't it? Aren't people going to think you're representative of that cause? Well, they're mo- I guess they're mocking it, but- So what, you just have like a sarcastic tone when you're out in the street? I don't know how it worked. Ooh, we're bloody shirts. Imagine. I think we swayed a lot of people the wrong way today, guys, so I really do. So the Republicans kept doing bloody shirt speeches, even though it never existed, as a way to paint the Democrats as treasonous. So Republicans endlessly brought up the bloody shirt over and over to stir up voters. Sure. Hey, sir, it's also brutally attacked Tilden, calling him everything from a briber to a thief

to a drunken syphilitic. To be fair, what else are you going to do if you're syphilitic? Your nose is falling off. You just got to booze it up. That's right. That's why you need party buses in Congress. I think, I think they called him a junkist syphilitic because he was like chronically ill, like he was ill since he was a child. Why not? Sure. They also brought up his connections to the railroad industry, said he was corrupt, and also he was considered very dull. Okay, yeah. We don't like that. No. No, we like flamboyance. Now at this time, the media was shit. What? Journalists routinely published hearsay and lies as facts. What? Knowing how it would affect readers. What? At this time, there was no way to check if what a paper printed was true or not.

What? So a false story could gain huge effect on an election. How? How would you let this happen to a thriving democracy? Fuck. The New York Times published a story that Tilden had committed tax fraud, which was a complete lie. Well, that's what they're failing. But around the country, other Republican papers just ran with this story. Okay. So Hayes was a super modest guy. He was so modest that he refused to vote for himself. What an idiot. What are you doing? That would be too much. Yeah, with like recounts we see now. It's like, imagine a politician and being like, I'm egoless. I don't vote for myself. I don't think I'm right for the job, honestly. I was actually just making a fire with my yellow dog

when they insisted I do this. Do not vote for me. I do not want this job. A campaign slogan is, I want to be home with yellow dog. All right. You're just the guy we need in the White House. Fuck, yeah. Kill me. So, but even voting for yourself back then was also weird. Like, it was no one was like, that's great. Oh, when we had humility. Tilden was so opposed to campaigning that when Republicans accused him of corruption, he refused to respond and just stayed home in his mansion. That's not a good way to fight it. I'm not going to spend my time with these dumb arguments. I'm going to be in the bowling alley in the basement of my mansion. Thank you.

They said it would be undignified to refute the charges. This is just a better time. Hayes then went as far as to take a vow of silence and refused. What sort of shit is this? Now he's munking it out. No, no, I'm just going to make wine in my robe. So now, so now, imagine a presidential candidate being like, I'm not going to talk. I'd be like, I will vote for you without question. I will vote for you. Well, one guy's staying in his mansion. The other guy's taken a vow of silence. I mean, what's going on here? Seriously, this is a sitcom intro. So Hayes refused to comment on his candidacy when he was asked.

What? Okay. So Republicans were worried that his total commitment to non-commitment could cost them the election. They found that frayed. They found that to be an issue. Just say you're running for president. Don't, what talk? Look, I locked my mouth and I threw the key away. I'm not going to get it again. You're running for president. I told you I'm done. No more. This time I'm eating the key after I lock it. You can't. Fair point.

It's time he threw it up in the air. Oh, maybe like a mime clown. It's like I'm at Benihana. Now, no more. If the president was running on like a mime platform, I'd 100% be on board. The economy's in a box. Okay. We're struggling. It's windy. The economy's windy. Economic winds. I like this. Okay. He's pulling on something. He's tugging. Oh, tug of war. Yes. Because in this country, we are so against each other.

It's like, this guy's unbelievable. And it's finally nice to see a little white face in the White House. That's a little bit of a change of pace. Oh, now he's trapped in a box. Oh, now he's grabbing. Oh, someone get her out of the box. How do you get her in there with him? Hayes also announced if he was elected, he would only serve for one term. Okay. The race was so pathetic. It could seem like. Are they like, do they have like a handshake bet that the one, the guy who loses gets like a billion dollars?

The race was so pathetic, it seemed like neither guy really wanted to be president. Yeah. It feels like trading places, the election. But still, there were tons of dirty tactics. In Florida, businessmen threatened anyone who voted Republican with a 25% surtax. Jesus Christ. Railroads threatened to fire employees who went to Democratic rallies. Violence was super common. A group of men led by a former Confederate colonel in Florida went to see the governor and told him if one white man was killed on

election day, they would kill him. Jesus Christ. Anyway, that's all we have to say. Great meeting. Thank you boys for coming in. It's always good to hear from my constituents. That's unbelievable. Here's hoping the white guys get killed. I say we kill him anyway. Walked all this way may as well. Kill him anyways.

Why'd you walk? Why did you walk? One enough room in the buggy. So everyone else was in the buggy and you were walking? Yeah. I want to talk about I'm here to kill you, not them, they're my friends. It doesn't seem like they're your friends, does it? Quit poking at me right now. You don't want to do this. Truth is there was probably room but some of them had satchels.

They said they needed a seat for the satchels. So you're lower than a satchel in the friend order. I told you quit poking me. Yeah. Maybe I'm not the one you're mad at. Maybe. Maybe maybe someone wants a governor hug. You reckon?

I'll tell you one thing, my dad never gave me a big hug. Told me when I was young I needed to start working. One time I told him I loved him, he kicked me. That ain't no hug now, is it governor? No. No, no. Anyway. Well, I don't want to hang out here all day. To probably get going.

All that walking does tire a man, though. And you have a plush couch sitting right there. I do. I reckon it wouldn't be a mistake to let me take a little kip on that. Yeah, yeah. No, it would. Maybe take my shirt off too. Oh, I think that's not happening.

I'll sleep naked on couches, otherwise my shirt sticks to it. Because I have night sweats on account of my family didn't treat me right as you was alluding to earlier in the conversation. Boy, can I call you pop? I'm not fucking kidding. The last governor did recommend I shouldn't talk to anybody. So where are we at with that shirtless hug? We are.

I'm retiring from being governor. You saying what I think you're saying? You think I should take the reins and become the governor? Yes. I think that Florida needs a shirtless governor. Well, fuck yeah, the party buses aren't charged. Oh, my God. That was Florida that ran a shirtless governor.

Dude, literally a guy who just his platform was like, I will not wear a shirt and I will provide service. Okay. No shirts, no shoes, no fucking problem. All right. Jorts. Everyone at the rallies shorten out. Why you fucking like Jorts too?

That's right. They're the only short that's perfect for Washington, DC. All right. So on August 1st, 1876, Colorado became the country's newest state. Now, Democrats had the majority in the house. So it was their choice whether or not to allow Colorado to become a state before or after the election. Right.

And it had three electoral votes. So there's one congressional rep from Colorado, the territory at the time. He's a Democrat. Okay. And he convinced his fellow Democrats in the house that if they allowed Colorado into the union early, the state would give three electoral votes to Tilden.

So they did. They voted in Colorado. And then the Colorado legislature immediately made their decision early and gave three electoral votes to Hayes. Okay. Interesting. Interesting. So did I say Tilden?

Yes, you said Tilden. I meant not Tilden. You son of a bitch. Okay. So the Democrats have always been an intelligent party. Not falling for bullshit handshake agreements. The violence in South Carolina started in July, as it always does. What the hell are you doing?

It's June 30th. Get ready. It's almost the violence month. Come on. It's punching time. Come on. We're going to punch in downtown. Punch a machine.

Punch a machine. You tired? Huh? You tired? Exhausted. But I've been training all year for this. Punch a machine. Let's go.

I'm fucking exhausted, man. Yeah. You look stupid, too. Yeah. So a group of whites attacked a black national guard militia and what became known as the Hamburg massacre. Okay. There was so much violence in South Carolina that President Grant sent

thousands of troops to keep order in October. It's all help Republicans with their bloody shirt speeches. Validating the untruth. Yes. Right. As the election day grew close, everyone thought Tilden was going to win, including Hayes. Election day was Tuesday. He was probably so excited.

Yeah. He was just like, yeah. And I think it's. This is it. Hello, yellow dog. Yeah. Election day was Tuesday. Do you remember seventh?

Someone who visited. Did everybody post I voted stickers on their social media that day? Because that's important to do. Yeah. Yeah. Or put it on your dog. Someone who visited Hayes that day said he was indifferent about winning or losing. It almost kind of that.

That is almost the right attitude for someone who's going to be president though. Somebody who's just sort of like, I don't care. Yeah, it's a thing. If I get in there, I'll try. Whatever. As opposed to the person who's like, I have everything planned out. Once I get in there, sir. Thank you, Dark Lord.

Thank you, Satan. In New York, Tilden greeted his supporters who treated him as if he was already the new president. Word came that night that Tilden won New York, New Jersey, Indiana and Connecticut. Everyone who went to sleep thought it was over. Tilden had won. But it would take days to know the outcome. That did not stop the press from going to work. Democratic papers like the Chicago Tribune reported Tilden had won

because of Republican greed and plunder. The New York Times declared Hayes the winner. So all the papers, just depending on whichever party they like, they're just saying that's who won. Again, I mean, just so vastly different. When the vote totals finally came in, Hayes had won 18 states and 166 electoral votes. Tilden had won 17 states and 184 electoral votes. There we go. President Tilden.

Rings a bell. He needed 185. Okay. So we get over there. Oh, he had 184? Yep. All right. So what do we do then?

We just go to... What do we do? We just go to... What do we do? I don't know. Find a little island, make him vote. I don't know. You tell me.

Find an island and make him vote. Yeah. Give him one vote and be like, come on. Don't be jerk-offs. Let's do this. This other guy doesn't even want it. He's got a weird yellow dog. Do you hear about the red shirts?

So three states were still too close to call. Okay. Florida. Oh my God. You must have known when you wrote that. That's the state motto. Always be recounting. I mean, it literally must have...

I mean, Florida... The way Florida counts its votes is just like the big brother of someone counting comes in when they're like 974,000. 974,000 one. He's like, 974,000 five. 951,000. Oh, start over, bitch. Yeah.

Guys, it's fucking 2018. Why are we still doing it this way? 2016, 2014, 2001, 1981, 1542, 2023. What year is it? What year is it? Why is my brother in here? Yeah. What's up, bitch?

Yeah. I'm going to open a beer off this table. Bam. Owned. And it's a twist-off. Do you hear the noogie vote just came in? Oh, God. Yeah.

Just... 18 votes. I just think we should change... Noogie Petra! Shack of the beer. Bam. I just want to say from now on, we should change the laws. So if someone gets elected, their brother isn't also on the board.

I'm going to fucking eat this beer. Fuck you, bitch! It's a terrible law. Hey, here's an impression. I just want to count the votes. Start. Will you put a shirt on? No!

I'm the Jort Party, bitch! Woo! Jorts in December. Vote. December 9th. Woo! We're having a mud-off. A mud-off election.

So where two guys slide down a hill full of mud, the one who gets to the bottom first, president? No! Yeah, it's a mud-off. President of what? Fucking mud mountain, bitch. Woo! I'm out of beer. Go get some beer.

I'm drinking whiskey now. One, two... 15! Is it fun if I don't even get high up and you do it? I don't know. Seems pretty fun still. I love you, baby brother. I do it to strengthen you.

This is the happiest I've ever been about Florida. So, three states. Stotoclustacol, Florida, Louisiana, and South Carolina. Altogether, 20 electoral votes. What's Hayes at? He's at 160s. Hayes at 166. 184.

Tilden is at 184. Okay. Tilden had won the popular vote by 250,000. That don't matter. So, Democrats use that as a way to declare him the winner. They're like, we won the popular vote. Yeah, when will that come back to bite us? Republicans sprung into action and claimed Democrats

had used intimidation and fraud to win those three states. Tilden just had to win one more of those three states to become president, and Hayes was sure it was over. Quote, I am of the opinion the Democrats have carried the country and elected Tilden. Everyone focused on the three states. In Florida, the day after the election, a train carrying ballots had derailed.

Oh, boy. So, it's sort of the same thing, exactly. It's no different. Yeah. Okay. The Republican governor said the Ku Klux Klan had sabotaged the train to help the Democrats. Okay.

When the count began, both sides immediately claimed fraud. Jesus God. So fucked. Other powerful Republicans were not thinking the same way as Hayes. The three states in question were still under federal control. This meant the governors were Republican. Daniel Sickle, who's from episode whatever, sent a telegram to the governors of the three states,

quote, with your state's. Were these singing or you're just, they're regular. They're, oh, no, it's a regular telegram. Okay. Okay. For my money, I think always better than. Honey, there's a, honey, there's a dance and doughnut out here. Well, hello. Uh, here you're counting.

Quote with, uh, your, your state's sure for Hayes. He is elected. Hold your states. Okay. So the three election boards in all three states were so, were also controlled by Republicans. The board members were also insanely corrupt in Louisiana. They had actually overturned elections in the past.

Before the select, before this election, the board had purged 8,000 Democrats from voter rolls. Then they made an offer to Democrats for one million. The Louisiana board would certify the vote had gone to Democrats. Holy shit. I mean, it is, that is very, I think at least now our bribery is a little nuanced. Yeah. I'm thinking of a number for you to be president. Okay.

It's big. What's going on right now? I'm thinking of a number. Okay. And then if you want to match that number, get to be president. That's how it works. What's the number?

Oh, I was hoping you'd guess. Uh, every time I do, my brother comes in here and messes up with my numbers. So, okay. That's fair. I hate your fucking brother. I don't say that. That means. Does he ever use deodorant? It's uh, no, it's part of his platform. Well, he's running for president of the mud hill. A million dollars.

But they get to be president. Really? Yep. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Do it. Do it. Do what? Give me a million.

I don't have it on me. Yeah. They didn't do it. Historically accurate, not funny, but historically accurate. The DNC. You're welcome. The DNC rejected the offer. Okay. Similar reports of corruption on both sides were reported in Florida and South Carolina.

With all this, the national Republican chairman declared that Hayes had won the states and was now president. Okay. It's very frustrating to have elections that are based on hearsay. And that's like good enough. And I'm talking about that time. Not obviously. The Democrats pushed for Tilden to take action.

The national democratic party chair drafted a statement for Tilden that would ask the people to be vigilant and report any fraud. Like if people are putting on different outfits to vote again. Yeah. Yeah. Weren't you just here before as a Parisian waiter? I'm a hunter. I don't know what you're talking about.

Tilden would not release the statement. Another Democrat wanted Tilden to meet with Hayes and ask for a bipartisan group of people to go down south and oversee the count. Tilden refused. Democrats across the country were getting irritated that Tilden was doing nothing. Hayes also seemed very calm. He told- Is Tilden respecting the process?

Is that where his head's at? Sort of, yeah. That's a weird angle. It'll change. Hayes also seemed calm. He told Republicans to be satisfied that the quote, people are too patriotic, too intelligent, too self-poised to allow anything perilous to be done that may disturb or destroy our peculiar form of government.

I'm out of my fucking mind! Oh my god. What a dumbass. Imagine. Democrats with Tilden at one, and we're now believing they were being robbed of what they thought was a victory. So now all over the country, everyone's getting riled up. So weird.

Rumors started that the Democrats are going to march on Washington D.C. and forcibly install Tilden. Install him? Yeah. Like he's Windows? Yeah. Okay. That's exactly it.

Okay. He's downloaded right now. He'll be fine in a minute. He's buffering. Everyone was focused on the three states. Republican observers were sent to encourage the governors to throw out enough votes to make Hayes the winner. And Hayes doesn't even want it.

He's like, don't do that. That's too much. I didn't want to run. We're going to get you where you need to go, my man. Your dream doesn't die here in this mansion with your dog that's got a weird box on its throat. Oh boy. They did this mostly by bribing people. Jesus Christ.

Tilden had a 7,000 vote lead in Louisiana. In Florida, he had only a 91 vote lead. Members of the Electoral College would be meeting across the country in their states on December 6th. There was less than a month to get this all worked out. It is shocking that Florida's margin is always like a few hundred still. With how much they're reproducing in that state. It's a lot.

Democrats are now concerned Hayes might win the states because Republican control looked for another way to get Tilden in. Because of that, they, okay, you know what I mean. Tilden had won Oregon. So they're looking for another way to get it done, right? Okay. Tilden had won Oregon by about a thousand votes, which is worth three electoral votes. Okay.

If Tilden could get in, he'd be president. So in Oregon, one of the electors was a postmaster. And the Constitution says a guy can't be a federal employee and an elector at the same time. So just so a couple days before the election, he resigned his postmaster. Okay. And he assumed once Hayes won that he get the job to postmaster. Right. So the Democrats found out and said the governor should get rid of that guy

and appoint the guy with the next highest number of elector votes. So that guy happened to be a Democrat. Okay. So a guy named Colonel William Pelton, who was a backroom political operative and also Tilden's nephew. Okay. Oh boy. Started bribing Oregon officials to make sure the Democrat was named an elector.

And the governor did exactly that. Postmaster out, Democrat in. The Democrats now had their one electoral vote. The Republicans were now yelling about fraud in Oregon. On what grounds? While the Democrats yelled about fraud in the three southern states. Okay. Then the Louisiana board convened first, November 17th.

Tilden's leave was 7,000. You look pretty solid, 7,000. Sure. As I said before, Louisiana board of elections had previously overturned elections. Seven clerks on the board had been or were currently under indictment. Okay. Well, that doesn't bother us at all, does it? Both parties are yelling fraud as the board worked.

The board invalidated 15,000 votes. Oh shit. 13,000 of which for Tilden were for Tilden. Hayes was now the winner of Louisiana. The idea that this guy doesn't want to be president is dynamite though. That he's like, don't help. Stop helping. Dang it.

We're getting closer, sir. Mr. President, if I may be so ambitious. Can I just show you Yellow Dog so you'll know? Sir, I think Yellow Dog is going to have a beautiful place in the White House once we get you in there. We're doing everything we can. We know this is your dream. I won't let you down.

I want to die. We're not going to let you down. I swear to God, I'll do everything in my power to get your dream. The presidency. It's not. Come on. It's not. Isn't it weird how when one guy starts whispering the other does too, just based on the effect?

Can you put on a shirt? I can. I'm running for president of the mudslide. The mudslide? Are we doing regular voices again? You're shifted. The South Carolina board then awarded the state to Hayes and in Florida the board worked all the way up until the night before the electoral.

Tell me they missed the deadline. College members were due to meet and they cast their votes on December 6th. They really got to work. Like for example in Key West, an entire box of votes that had tilled in ahead of Hayes 401 to 59 was just thrown out. Sure. Yeah. Why not?

Hayes ended up winning Florida by 924 votes. Jesus. So Democrats are furious. Right. The governor signed certificates declaring Hayes the winner of the three states. Democratic leaders in the states then drafted their own certificates claiming tilled in at one. We're just so it really, I mean, I know it's redundant, but this shit just never changes. Yeah.

On December 6th, 1876, the electoral college cast their votes for the president. Tilled in was still short. He had 184. Hayes had 165 because Florida, Louisiana and South Carolina were not included because Democrats and Republicans had sent in opposing certificates, both claiming they won. It's that easy to just like send in your fake certificate? Like we have one too.

We also got it at Staples. So sorry. Nice try gang. We got one too. Next. Yeah. I don't really understand how that worked, but that's basically what happened. Well, they both have certificates and there's no way to check the authenticity.

Therefore, there will be no president. For the next four years, I guess. Yeah. So. Okay. See you guys later. Watch the country run way better. All right.

So it's basically a shit show. Really? Weird. Everyone's getting mad. Hayes is eating dinner with his family. He's just trying to move on with his retirement. Well, someone shot a bullet through his window. What the fuck?

Yeah. The House and Senate were scheduled to meet on February 1st, 1877 to count the electoral votes and declare a winner. The president of the Senate was supposed to open the certificates and count the votes. The president of the Senate is the vice president, right? Sure. I mean, yes, factual. In this case, vice president Henry Wilson had died in 1875 and the position had not been filled.

So there's just, well, we got to bring his corpse down here and Ouija board his hand. Gentlemen, there's no other rational solution. We will use the Ouija philosophy. I think he counted that one for Republic. This is going to take a while. Did you move his hand? Swear to God. No.

This is spooky. Let's do light as a feather stiff as a vote. Come on. Spooky but fun, right? Very fun. Have you seen Weekend of Bernie's? Oh my God. One of the best documentaries ever made.

So, so the acting president of the Senate was a Republican. So this rule of the president of the Senate counting votes is actually vague. If you can imagine something in our weird in our constitution, they connected everything. Yeah. It was from the 12th Amendment. It said, quote, the president of the Senate shall in the presence of the Senate and house of representatives open all certificates and the votes shall then be counted. It did not say who should count the votes.

Or if you could do it behind a curtain. Or, or, yeah. Or if the person counting could decide who won. It just said they counted them. So it's just as simple as just bullshitting? You're just like, oh yeah, I outballed it. He wins. So.

A rain man did. It's enough. He's got it. So Republicans argued that the president should both count the votes and then make the call. Okay. And the Democrats said he could only open their certificates and count them. But not make the call. Is this fucking kindergarten?

No, no, no. That's Billy's Valentine. The Democrats wanted neither candidate to win now because then the decision would be tossed to the house. Right. And they could pick the president. Neither side's given in. So the votes were counted.

And then that was it. It was a stalemate. Okay. Great. Perfect. Situation. Democracy in action. Yeah.

So the situation series. It was repeatedly stated on the floor of the house and believed by the majority of the house that if the Republicans counted the votes of the disputed states and declared them for haze, the house would then elect Tilden and declare him president. How can they do that? Just because? Just because the house goes rogue? Yeah.

Okay. Wow. This really, I mean, it's funny because I feel like we're learning new lessons now about this particular situation, but it feels like no, which is fun. Yeah. It's fun. So that would kind of create a dual presidency. Ooh, I like that.

I like the sound of that. On CBS, dueling presidents. Oh boy. We're vetoing it over my dead body. Oh boy. Another fun pickle we found ourselves into. That's right. We'll be right back.

Put a shirt on. Yeah. They would divide the army, the navy, people would be divided, it would probably be another civil war. So one day a leading house Democrat said to a Republican that within 100 days people would be cutting each other's throats if this stayed the same. Republicans who overheard agreed. A Democrat said in a speech that if Republicans attempted to carry out the election

and if the navy and army supported them, the people would put them down. A Democrat from Virginia said in a speech that if the two parties went in on their respective courses, one would have to surrender or they must fight. And then he said, quote, are gentlemen prepared for the latter alternative and all the Republicans in the house yelled, yes. For an actual fight? Yeah. They're no for a war.

A war. Okay, right. Because to me, I like the idea that you take these two people out and have them fight each other, especially in this day and age when they're senior citizens, just a fun slo-mo fight. God, I would love to see Lindsey Graham get punched in the face. Or just you get Mitch McConnell and you just start pounding on that thing under his face like it's a speed bag. I was with, I was with talking to two moms who are on from the baseball team, my son's on,

and we all vowed that if we ever are near Lindsey Graham, we'll punch him in the face. Seems fair. So the country needs one president. So something has to happen, right? So a congressman from Iowa came up with the idea to create a bipartisan committee to come up with a solution that both sides could agree upon. Okay, so as opposed to having a bipartisan leg of the government, now we need a bipartisan group of people.

You break off a group of little guys, a small group of guys to come up with an idea. Instead of a big group of guys where everyone yells at each other and says, let's fight and people go, yeah. Right, okay. So Tilda was not happy. He thought the election should go to the House. Tilda wrote a speech for the governor of New York to deliver that said that any effort to deny constitutionally elected president to the White House would be treated as a revolution

and met with force. That's cool to write it though. That's cool to ghostwrite your own rah-rah. Well, you know when you write a thing and then you've got, fuck you, sorry, and then you're supposed to put it in a box. Yeah. Don't don't send that to the person or you write an email and delete it. Yeah.

You're supposed to don't get angry. And then he sent it to the governor, the New York, and he's like, I'll read this. Yeah, for sure. In it, he asked the governor to appoint a new head of the state militia, George McClellan. McClellan had been asking around about how he could build up a force for Democrats. A state militia? Just before the governor was going to appoint McClellan to lead New York's militia, another top Democrat friend reached out and asked him not to do that, okay?

Okay, sure. Why? Why do you think? What was his deal? He said it would be the end of the country. Oh, come on. This democracy? It's not going anywhere, Doug.

He said wait until it's time to fight and then name a leader, but if you do it before it all kicks off anyway. Okay. So many people think at any moment Tilden is going to step out of his mansion in New York and call for action and call for the militia of New York to rise up, seize the banks, seize the custom house, and establish himself as a separate government of New York City. Oh my God. So this was an idea during the Civil War that New York's, I think Governor or Mayor

floated that New York should be its own country. That kind of is. Yeah. So Tilden wouldn't have any of it. His plan in his mind was to march on Washington DC and have a counter-inauguration. Oh my God, yeah. Jim, let's go over to the counter-inauguration and see what's going on over there. Well, you're seeing right now Tilden is claiming there have never been more people

at a counter-inauguration. Despite the numbers you're seeing out there, it is factually true considering we've never had a side inauguration. Jim, what's the shirt situation? The shirt situation is what I'd call a situation because nobody has them. Everyone's muddy and bloody down here. Please send a rope ladder or something to get me out of here. The smell is atrocious at the second inauguration.

There's no Bible. They're putting their hand on a shell. I don't know what's going on down here. There's shotgunning beers, a lot of noogies. It's hell on earth. Yeah. Is that the Florida delegate? That the Florida delegate is strong down here.

They are huge into this second president. That's right. We have a president junior down here. It's pretty good over here. It's just a guy on a Bible and he's doing the... Sounds democratic so far. Now what we have going on down here again, this is like if a wizard were to turn pigs into humans. It is an absolute nightmare.

I kind of wish I was at inauguration too. I got to be honest. Oh, you say that and then you get down here. I've been stabbed four times and my child's been taken from me. My wife's bawling and nobody has any money on them. We're running out of water. It's a little bit like Coachella. It's an absolute nightmare.

Miss Hayes has a nice dress. Oh, well, we're not seeing them that here from Tilden's wife. She's in a bikini and... She doesn't exist. Well, that's going to be controversial down here at the second inauguration to say the least. They've been parading her around for ages saying she's not only the first lady, the best lady. He's not married. Well, I don't know what to tell you.

It sounds like the second president might be a little full of shit. Which is what's covered on this mountain over here. Are we going back to the studio? What's going on? Yeah, yeah, we're back to the studio. I'd love to get out of here. Again, my son's missing. Go ahead and take off.

My wife's bawling. Nobody cares about your wife. Okay. Well, fuck you guys up there then, huh? Tell me I come down here as a junior reporter. I make my name and then you sit up there mocking me in your ivory tower. I'm starting to think the thing this country needs is a second president. You guys sitting up there thinking you're so good,

you fat cat smoking your seagars, lit off $100 bills. Well, we're down here living in mud. And I just got word my son's been killed. And they're eating him. All right, congratulations. We'll take it from here. Not the words you should be saying to me. What was his name?

Sparky. The irony. His name was the irony. That's right. That's right. Is he a wrestler? He was. Yeah, he was.

Yeah, the irony. Where the fuck are you going? Oh, yeah. Oh, hey, buddy. All right. Okay, chill out. Dave jerk me off again for the OZU and traffic. Dramatic pause.

Someone's gonna have to edit. All right. So Tilden's plan is to march to DC, have his own inauguration, and he said if he was captured and executed, that would be the price to pay. It's kind of that's that is kind of like it's different than what I would think a politician today would say. Let's put it that way.

Dems the brakes. Dems the brakes. But he said he would only do it if the house would stand behind him, but the house was like, no, no, no, no. In January, the committee came up with the idea to create a special electoral commission to decide the results of South Carolina, Louisiana and Florida. Is this not highlighting the fact that maybe the democracy

is not functioning? It's not great. Okay. Both sides agreed. At the end of the month, the commission was made legal. It was made up of five congressmen, five senators, and five Supreme Court justices. Seven would be Democrats, seven will be Republicans,

and one would be an independent. For that spot, they picked a Supreme Court justice named David Davis, who was truly independent. Okay. I have no thoughts. My mind is an empty hole. I'm able to listen and wait. That's all I do.

I've never heard a fact in my life. 100% neutral. Hayes did not like the idea of the commission. He and his team started working behind the scenes. They started reaching out to Southern Democrats. So Hayes now is sort of like, I'm in. He wants it. Well, he's, yeah.

Or he's still at home like, don't help. At some point, they both have kicked into gear. Right, okay. And they both want it. Right, okay. So he sends a team to start working behind the scenes to have secret meetings with Southern Democrats to make a deal.

Okay. The commission, or is it the committee? Nobody here tells me. It's a committee. It's a commission committee. It's a commission. No, it's a commission. The first one was committee.

It's a committee. So the commission vote, because it was seven Republicans, seven Democrats, is basically going to come down to one guy. So basically. Basically, you just need one neutral guy. You don't need the seven. But they've basically set it up. So one guy is going to pick the president of the United States.

Yes. Neutral man. Yeah, yeah. Ambivalent boy. So, right. So, so Davis is getting closer to making his decision. And then Illinois. Davis is the neutral dude?

Yes. Yeah, okay. And then Illinois decided, did you yell for Illinois? That's what we call Illinois. Okay. That's what that is. Yeah, Illinois. Let me, let me read this sentence.

Then Illinois decided to be the dumbest state in the country. Yeah. Yeah. So this is about the bears. Yeah. The Democrats and the Illinois state legislature then elected Davis to be one of the state's two senators. They thought by doing this,

they would ensure that he would vote for Tilden. Oh no, no. Don't bribe the neutral guy. When Republicans heard they lost their shit, and said this was clear corruption, making him a senator exchange for his vote. Oh, Jesus. So Davis resigned from the commission. Oh my God, he really was neutral.

He really was neutral. We had one. Dammit. Some think he was actually super relieved. I mean, of course he was. Did you imagine having to pick the president? Dude, you're sweating, I mean, you're sweating your balls off the whole time. Like, okay.

And then, okay. I feel like 50% of the country is going to try to kill me. Oh, that's because they are. Oh, okay. Look forward to this decision. Go ahead, make it. Tilden. Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Hey. Detail. Yeah, hey. Let's hear it. I'm going to be the president. Well, that was a curveball. That's what happens when you play with unbiased. All right.

So now they would have been the right call, by the way, for that dude to be in charge. So now they have to replace Davis and the Supreme Court justices were given the task of finding a new independent judge. This is fucking insane. How is it that American Idol still has better voting standards than this nation? And they picked Joseph Bradley. As independent as he was, he was still a Republican though.

Okay. The Senate and the House got back together and counted the votes again. As soon as the two separate Florida certificates were open, everyone started objecting. The commission was then convened to hear arguments from both sides, and they went into the room and the argument went on for days. Then on February 7th, the commission reached a decision. Justice Bradley stood and said Congress could not investigate the board results in the states.

This meant Florida votes would go to Hays. And that meant the other states would too. Tilden was one electoral vote away, but now he was the one who looked like he was going to lose. And then rumor had it that Tilden was going to march on D.C. with a paramilitary force, so Grant reopened all the Civil War forts just in case. He called in troops from St. Louis who manned all the bridges into Washington, D.C. He re-forted?

Yeah, he double-forted. He double-forted. He did a double-fort. Jesus. Okay. Intense. Those guys were like, we're back, baby. It doesn't fit like it used to, but still.

Let's do this shit. Now, the belief is that Democrats went to visit Justice Bradley the night before he announced his decision. And Bradley showed them an opinion saying he was going to support Tilden. But then after they left, two Republicans center Feeling Heisen and- Feeling Heisen? That's what it says. It easily could have changed.

And the- I'm not feeling Heisen. And the secretary of the Navy visited Bradley and convinced him not to give up the White House to the Democrats, and his wife also joined in and agreed. This doesn't sound like normal protocol. This is how presidents are chosen. Sure. They convinced him a Democratic presidency would be a national disaster.

So the commission, the commission's ruling went to Congress. The Senate accepts it. What's going on? And the House rejected it. Oh my god. But the way the commission rules were written, only one of the chambers had to accept, and then it was good. So the Democrats are furious.

Right. They said this is clear fraud, because Bradley's a Republican. Yeah. So when the count was done again, so they do the count again, one of the Florida certificates signed by the governor did not have all the electors signatures. Oh, here we go. So the acting Senate president had the certificates secretly sent back to Florida, where the signatures were forged, and then it was returned.

Why not just forge them in D.C.? Yeah, you know. It makes them feel like a part of the process. Like it's giving you some notes, you know. You got to get these official Florida signatures. And this is February? This is happening? And it's not, it's still March.

It's okay. And so this is, we've been president lists. Oh no, no, it's February. You're right. But we've been president lists for this, this timeframe, essentially. No. So back then, the president is sworn in on the 4th of March. Oh, okay.

So we have a little time. Grant is still president. Right, okay. But the time's ticking. We're heading towards no president zone. Imagine. You're in the no president zone. Are we doing the dollop intro?

God. Oh, we really need to get rid of that office. Yeah. So, right, so the Florida, Florida certificate now is counted for Hayes, right? So, yeah, because it's been then forged when Oregon came up, the commission had to convene again because one certificate had two votes for Hayes and one for Tilden. The other all three for Hayes. So the commission rolled again for Hayes.

So now he lost Tilden lost that vote. They picked up. So Democrats are not desperate and considered a filibuster to run out the clock. We've invented a new state. The Watersville and nine electoral votes, all for Tilden. Tildy. Tildy. So now they're thinking about running out the clock on the election so they'll go past

March 4th and then it'll automatically be kicked to the house. So they're going to filibuster. So Democrats knew they were looking fucked. They indicated they would give in and let Hayes become president in exchange for the withdrawal of federal troops in the south. And a sandwich. And a Sammy. A meeting was held at the Warmley Hotel in Washington.

Some historians say this is where the deal was sealed. Whatever happened in the meeting, South Carolina's votes were submitted to the commission and they were all given to Hayes. So it's now the end of February, inauguration day, March 4th, four days away. The Democrats had still not had not completely given up. Democrats believe they've been robbed. Tensions are high. Congressmen are now bringing guns into the Capitol building.

Sure. Hey, we'll get there. Fist fights are breaking out in the hallway. Nice. Awesome. Hayes left Ohio with his wife to make the train journey to the Capitol with no idea if he was going to be sworn in or not. It's a weird ride.

Yeah. I guess that's, I might be president either way, honey, either way. I love you if you're president or not the president either way. That's not helping. I'm totally neutral. Don't touch, no. I want yellow dog. I should have brought yellow dog.

Yellow dog died. Fuck. Don't touch. Hayes received many letters telling him he would be killed on the train on the way to DC. Oh, here's another fun one. Oh, this gentleman would do it a little differently. He says he's going to go ass murder, which I've never heard of before. Interesting.

Oh, those metrics check out. Here's another furious one. Oh, he says he's going to kill you and then use you to kill me. I swear we are the most creative people. It's like being a host on the dollop. The Democrats still kept trying to delay with the filibuster as much as possible, and then they threatened to hold the filibuster past an inauguration day. But Tilden had had it. He telegrammed the Democrats from the order.

He's done? Yeah, he's done. He told them to stand down and let the vote finish. Let it be over. Hayes was told that he was going to be president while on the train to DC. The Democrats gave in and in return, they got what they wanted. At 410 a.m. on Friday, March 2nd, 1877, the final vote was counted. The final state was counted.

The final vote, 185 for Hayes, 184 for Tilden. Jesus. Overtime. Rutherford B. Hayes was officially the 19th president of the United States, but he would always be seen by Democrats as an illegitimate president. They called him a Rutherford. See, I again think the B is a better jumping off. I get it.

Rutherford be lying. Rutherford be illegitimate. Rutherford be full of it. Rutherford bullshit. I get it. The deal Democrats made is called the Compromise of 1877. The Compromise let Democrats in return for the White House establish a solid South. Hayes pulled federal troops out of the South.

To blacks in the South, this was all that was protecting them from the brutal oppression of whites. Republicans had ended reconstruction in exchange for the White House. Blacks all over America felt betrayed because they were. Republicans had sold them out. Segregation and Jim Crow then hit with full force and they were all alone. Frederick Douglass said that the freedom men were quickly turned over to the quote, rage of our infuriated former masters.

The 1876 presidential election provided the foundation for America's political landscape and race relations for the next 100 years with blacks being just being fucked and not being able to vote until the Civil Rights Act. Tilden. Well, we fixed that finally. Yeah, yeah, we got no way to disenfranchise groups of people from voting in this day and age. So Tilden died in 1886, a wealthy man, and he left 3 million to the New York Public Library. Hayes was seen as a president.

He died in 1893. A quote from our second president, John Adams, democracy never lasts long. It's soon waste, exhaust and murders itself. There's never a democracy yet that did not commit suicide. What, that, what? That's your closer? That's my closer. That's crazy.

Honest, the thing, it's frustrating, David. And, and here's why it's because, because, David, because as much as I've tried to listen on this show, I've learned a number of things, but I still feel always like we're at the peak of fucked up right now, like that it could not get any worse, which might actually be true, but it's still, as to John Adams' point, and, and even all that, it was like, it's like government is a game of telephone in a situation like that, where it's just sort of like whoever hit the shot right before the clock expires is going to win.

It's not, it does not count, the electoral counting is obviously bullshit. It's very simple to just move to a popular vote, which would actually make people want to vote, because if you're in, if you're in states that are controlled that you know are going to go one way or, you know, then why the fuck would you vote? But if every vote gets counted, it makes a lot more sense. Again, I don't want to say that American Idol hit it out of the park early, but point to a better election system. Yeah, yeah, no, they got it down.

Maybe X-Factor. X-Factor's pretty good. Look, they didn't, it wasn't set up to be a democracy. It was, they didn't believe, John Adams' quote is because they didn't, they thought democracies all failed at the time they did. But then if democracies all fail, explain Iraq, explain Libya, like point to some of the flaws that have gone on with the building we've done in those places and the flourishing that we've, that we see on a daily basis as far as how you plant the

seeds of democracy, you give a little water, the people will water from then on, and you're dealing with a vibrant garden of choice. Knock that down, bub. I can't. Yeah, you can't because it's fucking perfect. There's no holes in it. Yeah, not one hole. I think it's a great, I think we have a...

It's a glory hole, USA. I think we have a great system of government and I think that there should be a body of seven people who turn into dust, and while they're turning into dust, they tell us how we can live. And I think it's important, and I think that if an old lady falls down, an entire country should be terrified because that's how it should work. You should live in a country where if an old woman falls down, everyone should be scared. That's normal.

That's a normal country. Oh, shit. So we're just screwed, huh? Yep. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, look, I think if you took the money out of politics, it's fine. But how?

They didn't think that money was a vote. Yeah. That's a radical idea from crazy people. So, you know, once that happened, you know, it really went to shit. I mean, we still have a lot of fucking problems. We're a bunch of fucked up idiots. Yeah, but you're right. You can, like, that...

That's the big thing. That's what we were saying when we were in Australia. It's like on their news, they're just little scrolls of things that we've done here, like, as far as like rolling back regulations, and it's not like big news stories, but they're just little scrolls on the bottom of the news screen. You're just like, oh, well, that's going to fuck in 10 years. Yeah. Oh, that's going to bite you in the ass in 15 years.

You can literally see them doing what we did. You're like, oh, look, there's the... No, no, no, don't do that, don't do that. Oh, no, the telecommunications act of 1996. Don't, you fuck. Oh, God, you did that. Oh, no, Rupert Murdoch. Don't let him run your paper.

Don't let him run your paper. Yeah, they're doing it all. They're just right behind us. And you just do. You feel like the big brother. It was just like, we went through that. You're fucked. Yeah, you're cute, but you're fucked.

Yeah. Track Hountain. I dare you. All right, I'll do it. Well, first, let's just say thank you guys so much for coming out. We really appreciate it. Look at that. Two people standing ovation.

That counts as two. Yep. Two people standing ovation. We like to make people clap until they're standing. So we've got hours till we leave tomorrow. Yeah, hours. No, no, no. Thank you guys.

We do. We're just kidding. We do really appreciate it. We sort of speaking of the idea of the world being a little fucked and activism and ways to fix it. We've sort of been ending the show recently with a little bit of a, you know, a five minute what's to come. So Dave's going to do stand up is what I'm saying.

I mean, some of you might have heard this online or after one of the last ones. But you guys are in DC, so you should know this. Bless you, sir. But seriously, stop sneezing. It's a fucking show. Take some fucking Allegra. Stop it.

So the IPCC came out with a report about three weeks ago. They're the, the basically 155 scientists get together or you want to be in front of the UN and they talk about what's going on. 2013 was a pretty bad report. So they put out the one this time and they basically said we have 10 years to change what we're doing. And that's a conservative estimate. We probably have less.

We have to stop using carbon. It's a fucked up world that we're living in and now we've got a clock and we can't act like it's not there because it's 10 years. And, you know, for me, I have a son and he's nine and we were in the car and we were driving home and he said, I, when I get older, I want to be a baseball player. I want to have a big house and my wife is going to raise puppies and I want to have two kids. And my first thought was you're not going to have children because he's not, because those, those people are going to look at the world

and they're not going to want to have kids because you can already see what's happening in California. If you guys were out there, it's like the fucking apocalypse. It's un fucking believable. Schools are being canceled. Kids have to wear masks. They're giving masks to homeless people so they can live on the street. And that's now what happens in 10 years, 20 years.

So we have to do something and we have a really fucked up political system. Today's a really good example when the Democrats got behind closed doors. They screamed at the new young socialist for her new green energy plan and all of her bullshit and all those fucking assholes that yelled at her. All those fucking Democrats have taken $2 million from fossil fuel companies. So they're the fucking problem. So they have to be stopped. This has to stop because literally we're not going to have a place to live.

And so the whole thing about arguing about science is fucking bullshit. You know, you can sit here and argue with these idiots all you want, but they're fucking morons and look, climate change is real. If you don't believe that, go to fucking paradise. California, take a fucking look. But you may as well not believe in air or grass at this point. You're a fucking idiot.

It's just scientifically proven. So the scientists have done their job. So now we have to take over. We have to start communicating. We have to start spreading the word. And I started, we started a new group called Planet Change 10, PLAN, IT, Change 10. Two words, planet. Yeah.

The idea is to get people together because there's a psychological thing that happens when people start hearing about climate change is they shut down and they get super sad and they don't do anything. So the idea is to get those people together and get them talking to each other. And at the same time, have artists come in and create art, art that can be put up on a fucking wall that will make a point, the kind of art that you see and you go, holy shit, or you put it up online or wherever. And the idea is to hit this from another angle and make people start fucking feeling something.

And show people how scared we are. Show people how scared the kids are. Kids are going to sleep crying. That's how bad it is. I got so many emails from teenagers saying they're going to sleep crying when I started talking about this. That is fucked up and old people are doing that. That's part of the thing is that if you have literally 10 years left on your life, why the fuck would you give a shit?

Why would you care? And that's what our government is. Basically, old white dudes who are going to die before the shit hits the fan. That's who's in charge. So the idea is fuck them, honestly. The idea that we live in a world where we fear our government that's made up of hundreds of people and they don't fear us is so fucking backwards. It's like the idea is they should be cowering.

Chuck Grassley should be worried. Mitch McConnell should be sweating from his fucking turtle chortle. And if you think about Republicans or anybody who denies climate, not to make it party-based, their argument is the one that's shifted. Science's argument has not shifted. Science's argument has been like, this is man-made. It's a huge fucking problem. You need to do something about it.

Their argument has been like, it's not real. It's not man-made. Okay, it's maybe a little man-made. Okay, we don't have any time to do anything about it. We're all fucked. So they're going to keep pushing the ball down, keep pushing it until something actually happens. And so there is something about activism. If you think about white nationalists, they organize in a way

where they are trying to generate pockets of people who are into their fucking shit. Well, it doesn't matter what issue you value, that has no meaning if you don't have a planet to push it on. So this is the most important issue. So fuck all those people and join this group and at least help try to put some power behind the voice of the youth and power behind art and try to shake the system a little bit

because there are times where we feel like we are changing stuff. We get close. We just need to push it a little bit fucking further. Otherwise, there's no place to live. And the people who are... Yeah. And the people who are scared to talk and the people who shut down

and the people who go, I don't want to hear about it. They need to have a place to go and talk. Yeah. And they will ignite with a place to talk. It will. There's also a group. They're the ones who went into Pelosi's office, the Sunrise group. Yeah.

And then there's another group I can link to in the UK that's much more radical and they plan on shutting down cities. They plan on getting enough people to shut down cities and just saying, this is what we do until you stop it. Non-violently. And that's literally, look, if someone came to you and said, hey, your five-year-old is going to die,

if you don't stop giving him junk food and you kept giving him junk food until he died, that's what we're doing right now. That's how fucking stupid it is. Yeah. So it's time to do something. Yeah. The climate's McDonald's.

Well, we know we ended on a downer, but we won't put this on the fucking podcast. But please join the group. Plan New World It, Change 10, the number 10, Twitter, Facebook. We're just starting up with it, but please join it. Thank you guys again so much. We appreciate it. Truly.

Thank you.