The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 36 - Kentucky Meat Shower - Smollop
Episode Date: November 27, 2014Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Kentucky Meat Shower.Tour Dates Dollop MerchSourcesPatreon...
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You're listening to the dollop. Each week I, Dave Anthony, tell a story from
American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who knows nothing about it.
Absolutely nothing. Zero. I think if there's one who we've proven. You know now
with doing the intro it's harder for you to wedge in a lot of Gary's which I
love. Okay, I mean I knew there'd be a response to that. I didn't think it would
be a clown explosion.
Oh my god, do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny.
Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun?
And this is not going to come to tickling plot guys. Okay. You are queen
fakie of Hade uptown. All hail Queen Shit of Liesville. A bunch of religious
virgins go to mingle and do what? Pray. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend? No.
Gary. Gary. This is a smallup. Jesus. How do you feel about smallups? I feel good
about smallups. I know what I know about smallups is that they're going to be
pretty fucking crazy because you can find shorter things. March 3rd, 1876. Love the
1800s. It was a beautiful day in Bath County, Kentucky and a local farmer's
wife Miss Crouch was outside making soap. Sure. Okay. I'm good on this one. I don't
even know what that means or how you do it. I've seen a fight club. Yeah. Yeah.
Exactly. I'm not sure what happens. Yeah. Well, the first rule about soap making.
You don't talk. You don't talk about it. You tell people. You tell everyone how to
make it. Yeah. That's only one rule. Who's making it? So just some yard soap. She's
making yard soap. Build with it bro. You don't make yard soap bro. And naturally
the story begins with a woman making soap. This story begins how most stories
begin with a woman making soap between 11 o'clock and 12 o'clock. I was in my
yard, not more than 40 steps from the house. She told reporters. It's by the way
already not good that she's telling reporters. It's never a good. No, it's
never a good sign. No. There was a light wind coming from the west, but the sky
was clear and the sun was shining brightly. Get to the story lady. Nothing
in nothing in the sky. Yeah. Without any prelude or warning of any kind and
exactly under these circumstances, the shower commenced. Suddenly meat came
raining down all around. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. I think this
is one of the better beginnings to anything we've done. She's in her yard
making soap when meat rained on her. Okay. All right. All right. When the flesh
began to fall. Did the forecast call for it? Was there any prep time? There was no
it's not in the almanac. That's terrible. There's a time of year when meat comes.
Normally the dopplers will pick that up. We're gonna take a look at the five days
you can see here. Sunday. We've got a big meatfront rolling in. A big meatfront
rolling in. You guys down here on the coast. A lot of sirloin. You're gonna get
a lot of sirloin over here. A little further south. You guys are probably just
gonna get some ground chuck. Something like that. Hopefully that'll be pushing
out Monday. Looks pretty bright at the beginning next week. More than 11 o'clock.
And then we'll talk about the chicken. Chicken. We'll talk about the chicken
later in the cast. Yep. All right. We'll be right back with chicken update. Oh Jerry.
I'm looking forward to the chicken. Oh it's gonna be bad. Yeah. Cancel your
plans. This is really gonna be a chicken rain. When the flesh began to fall. It's
a really hard thing to say. Oh no. It's fine. It's normal. When the flesh began to
fall I saw a large piece strike the ground close by me with a snapping
noise when it struck. The largest piece that I saw was as long as my hand and
about a half inch wide. It looked grisly as if it had been torn from the throat
of some animal. What the fuck is going on right now. Another piece that I saw was
half round in shape and about the size of a half dollar. She said it fell like
snowflakes. Has she felt snow? The pieces for the most part were not larger than
snowflakes. So just meat droplets surrounding her. For several minutes
Crouch and her husband Alan watched as pieces of fresh raw meat. Some delicate
shreds as light as a snowflake and others a solid lump three inches square fell
from the sky. Okay. Mitch. You are speechless. What the fuck is going on
right now. She's really describing what the meat looked like but I'm very
curious. Miss Crouch said she was impressed with the conviction that it
was either a miracle or a warning. Okay. Okay. Okay. You want to or should I. Let me
just straight up say it's not a burial. Yeah. It's not a fucking. Unless you're
starving to death. It's not a miracle. Unless you're starving to death. If
you're starving to death and meat falls from a cloudless sky that's a miracle.
That's a miracle. Something happened. If you're making soap it's a warning.
It's either a miracle or a warning. What if it's just fucked up. I think it's just
fucked up lady. Oh my god our prayers have been answered. We've been praying for
sky meat all alone. How come the meat prays Jesus. Oh the Lord listen to our
prayers. He has given us a rib eye from the sky. The Crouch's cat less concerned
about meaning of the meat than its masters immediately gorged himself with
the public breakfast. So unexpectedly tender to the cat is the real winner in
all this. Cats like this is a miracle. Yeah. The cats like is this a warning or a
mail just if I can eat this cables and bits cables and bits. When I was over the
Kentucky meat shower as it came to be known. That's the greatest name that has
ever been given. Yeah. A small or a dollar. The Kentucky meat shower. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. It sounds. How's that not a movie or a band. How is it not a band Kentucky
meat shower. Holy shit. Yeah. I'd go see. Come on. I'd go see them. It left an area
of the farm yard one hundred yards long and 50 wide strewn with flesh. OK. All
right. I mean what the fuck. The shower drew plenty of attention and curious
neighbors. Why. What about it. David. Hey Larry come on over. OK. Wow. Meat just fell
out of the sky. I'm not here now. Oh. Well there you are. What the fuck. Yeah. Meat
from the sky. Your cat looks sick. It does. But this is a miracle. It's a
miracle. It's a meet Rickle. Sweet Lord answered our meat prayers and then the
Lord Jesus gave the people a meet Rickle on the ninth day. He threw me through just
a handful of meat. He just threw handfuls of meat. Newspapers reported the
flocked newspaper reporters flocked to the Crouch's farm to see the mystery meat
and offer opinions on it. Many locals. This will be great. Many locals said it
looked like beef. But one neighbor who was a hunter on being shown a piece of the
flesh declared it to be bare meat and stated that had that uncommonly greasy
feel peculiar to the flesh of that animal. OK. I miss Harrison Gill went and
said a Mr. Harrison Gill went and said he saw pieces of meat sticking to fences
and scattered over the ground. When it first fell it appeared perfectly fresh.
OK. That's OK. At this point at this point fresh bear meat is falling. So at
this point when I'm reading the story I'm thinking an animal exploded in the
air. That's my scientific. Yeah. Bear a bear exploded. Yep. A flying bear. A
flying bear exploded. First I was like well maybe there's a tornado
somewhere and it lifted up a bear and exploded him. But there's no clouds in
the sky. Do we know what this is from. Am I going to find out what I don't know.
Because if I don't I know I'm going to need some closure. It's really fun. You
might not have closure. Are you serious. Yeah. So just fucking bear meat might
have just dropped out of the fucking sky. We're going to get a lot of
hypothesize. Oh great. Hypothesis. Oh good. Hypothai. God shook his beard. Others
took it upon themselves to taste it. OK. I get that. You get that. I get that.
Yeah. Let me tell you something. If meat falls from the sky the last thing I'm
doing is picking up a piece and fucking chewing on it. Who's picking up meat
that fell from the sky. I'm a vegetarian and I'm telling you I have an
asterisk for sky meat. I'm going to taste that sky meat. This is fresh. It's like
straight out of the sky. Man this feels like exploded sky bear. Two men ate it
and said it was either mutton or venison. A local. So I mean it is pretty crazy
that they can't figure out what fucking animal it is. What is mutton. Is it
mutton lamb. Is it. I believe mutton's lamb and venison's deer. Right.
Venison is isn't that a baby cow. I think venison's deer. Is it. Yeah. Yeah venison
is deer. I'm from brown deer Wisconsin. You should know because you're you're
from hunting land. Yeah venison is deer. I can't believe you don't know what
mutton is. I would think that you guys are much constantly eat mutton. Well I
listen I wasn't a big mutton guy. OK. I was raised by English people so it was
like a lot of roasts. You know. If I see a nice thick stew every Sunday. What are
we having. Left over stew. Sheppard pie. Sheppard pie. Exactly.
Bublin squeak. A local butcher who tried a piece declared that it tasted neither
like flesh fish or foul. It looked to him like mutton but the smell was a new
one. Well I'm sure the smell was you know it had that sky smell. Yeah it's lamb.
You're right. There you go. Venison's deer mature mature sheep. Yeah. It's just
sheep that you can go around and you say penis and they don't giggle then you can
make mutton. OK. OK. With no one able to identify the meat by sight or taste the
St. Louis Globe Democrat reported several large samples were gathered for a
study by a group of faculty members at Transylvania University. OK. So I don't
know what's happening. Yeah. Now I think it's safe to say that what is happening
right now. I believe the vampires have come. The the sky bear venison mutton
meat is now being explored upon at Transylvania University. Which is here.
That's fine. We sent the meat to Transylvania University. They sent they
sent samples to chemists and others in various parts of the country and
analysis were made by several well-known scientists. How can they not figure out
what fucking meat it is. Well it's crazy. A professor J. L. Smith initially thought
that the meat was actually dried frog spawn that had been picked up from a
pond by the wind. But he later abandoned the idea. Why. Because it was the craziest
idea possible. It's probably flying frogs. Probably. It's well. OK. So here's
what happened. There were frogs in a pond and a wind came and it blew them over
and then they shredded. They just exploded. You know what I back off. It's not
a good theory. That's not a good theory. Back that one up. I don't know what I was
talking about. I've been drinking. Leopold Brandy's writing in a journal called
The Sanitarian. I mean what in the fuck is happening. Just great. Claim that the
Kentucky Wonder is nothing more or less than the Gnostic of an old alchemist. A
strange looking vegetable mass. Now recognized as as cyanobacteria which
is a real thing I guess. OK. consisting of translucent gelatinous bodies joined
together by thread like tubes or seed bears. So he's saying it's like a like a
gross vegetable mass. The meat. Yeah. OK. That there is. Not good. OK. A few other
scientists concluded that their samples possess undoubted characteristics
peculiar to the flesh of animals. It was indeed meat. But which kind was
unclear. I have studied the meat and I have concluded that it is delicious meat
meat questions questions. Will you be doing anything to answer the questions
that we already wanted answered. It is meat. All right. We'll see you later Dr.
L.D. Kastenbine a chemist at Louisville College. He did one sample over a Bunsen
burner and noted that had it had an odor distinctly like rancid mutton
suet on warming and after ignition had the characteristic smell of burn animal
tissue. So he cooked it and came to conclusion that it was meat. Yep. So far
it's still meat. He also treated some pieces in chemical solutions which helped
expose muscle fibers and connective and fatty tissues. Quote as the specimen was
not placed in alcohol. The odor was retained which a number of meat experts
pronounced without hesitation mutton. He wrote since my examination I have learned
that others have arrived at the same conclusion as myself. Some even asserting
that the wool of the animal was distinctly seen. So lamb an exploding lamb Drs.
Allen McClain Hamilton and J. W. S. Arnold agreed that the flesh had come from
an animal but it wasn't mutton. Jesus Christ. It's not it is. Hey skymeat is
gonna fucking you know what we need. You know if there's skymeat it's gonna be a
lot of different theories. Skymeat doesn't lead to one place. Yes if if if only we
had access to St. Martin still we would be able to determine what this is by
fishing in his belly. After examining a piece under a microscope they identified
it as lung tissue from either a horse or human infant. Christ! What? Exploding
babies is a possibility now? How? Okay a human infant just how the lungs of a human
infant. So that's your conclusion. Yeah. Is that somehow the lungs of a human
infant exploded over a house. You didn't let me finish the frogs brought them
there. Well look there's been a lot of cases of flying human infant lungs and I
think this one just hit the helicopter. My question is about when you said there
have been a lot of flying around. I'll see you later. Quote the structure of the
organ in these two cases is very similar between human lungs and human
infant lungs. Oh my god. Dr. Mead Edwards. Dr. Mead Edwards. Oh god if his name was
Dr. Mead Edwards and he I also meet. You gotta bring me out on this loop. I don't
know if you're the right one for that. I was made for this one. I don't know. What's
my name? Dr. Mead. You can try a little Dr. Mead. He examined three different
samples. Two in the natural state as they fell and one prepared and mounted for
the microscope. The mounted specimen and one of the others he determined were
bits of cartilage while the last piece was composed of striated muscular fibers
along with what appeared to be dense connective tissue. Can I just say how
fucking far off the lung guy was? Yo lung guy's out of his mind. While the condition
of the samples prevented him from identifying the source of the flesh
Edwards concluded that all of the specimens proved to be of animal origin
showing that the Kentucky shower was a veritable meat shower. Meat shower. But if
it was meat where did it come from? That's what I want to know. William
Livingston Alden writing in the New York Times offered two different
explanations. The first was the obvious conclusion that the deluge of meat was a
bizarre form of meteor shower. Meteor shower. It was a meteor shower. According to the
present theory of astronomers, according to the present theory of
astronomers, an enormous belt of meteoric stones constantly rolls around the
Sun and when the Earth comes in contact with this belt she is profoundly
pelted. Similarly we may suppose that there evolves about the Sun a belt of
venison mutton and other meats divided into small fragments which are
precipitated upon the Earth whenever the ladder crosses their path. Okay so the
first theory is meat stars. Right and it's space meat. Space meat. So the first
theory is crazy. No space meat's a very... that could be where this goes. You
don't know where this goes. It could be space meat. How do you know there isn't
space meat? I mean I just... there's not... there's not space... there's not... How do
you know there isn't space meat? Open your fucking mind. We're talking about
meat showers right now. Maybe there's... It's all on the table. Space meat. By the way,
that's in the movie Interstellar not to do a spoiler. Space meat. But they do go
through a... Do they? Yeah they go through a band of meat.
Really? Oh I was like what the fuck? Oh my god. No. No. Then they go through a
broccoli band. Wait they do? Yeah. A more probable explanation suggested by the
Crouches and chemist Robert Peter and supported by Castenby Edwards and Smith.
Huh? Okay. So we have some sort of a consensus. Yeah. Okay. Was that the meat
shower was simply vomit produced by a passing flock of vultures who had been
feasting themselves more abundantly than wisely on a carcass. So just the pack of
bulimic vultures. Vultures actually do vomit. Yeah. Do they do it in sync? To
lighten the load if they feel threatened and need to make a quick getaway. I like
this one. The most likely theory of the Kentucky meat shower is that a group of
vultures barfed in flight ranting bits of freshly eaten horse meat down on
Mrs. Crouch. Why did they vomit in flight? It may be that one of them
spontaneously vomited and because of their instinct and the fear when
threatened then the others did so reflexively just in case. The vultures
primary mode of defense is actually vomiting on threats. Wow. It's primary
form of defense is regurgitating semi-digested meat of foul-melling
substance which deters most creatures intent on raiding a vulture nest. It will
also sting if the predator is close enough to get the vomit in its face or
eyes. Jesus. This would explain the melange of muscle connected tissue and
fat that was recovered. It would also unfortunately mean that a cat and a
bunch of people were eating bits of half-digested meat off the ground.
People. Remember when I said I'd eat it? I'm an idiot. Whatever the meat was and
wherever it came from you can see a bit of it yourself. The Monroe Moustich
Medical and Science Museum at Transylvania University in Lexington
has a preserved piece of meat from the shower in its collection. I want someone
who listens to go look at that. Yes. Someone who's gotta be in Kentucky near there.
Go if you're in Lexington go to the Transylvania University and look at the
meat. That's crazy. Yeah how about that? Crazy. Meat shower. That's crazy. Yeah.
And that the only theory we have that works is that a bunch of vultures puked.
Yeah. Tremendous. Crazy. Tremendous. Well. Happy meat shower.
Meat shower. Meat shower Monday. Bobby Boop. Boop. That's a small up.