The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 36 - The Past Times with Ryan Sickler

Episode Date: July 27, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Ryan Sickler. Watch his new comedy special.   Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody welcome to the past times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Ryan Sikler. Yeah energy was so much bigger when you were talking about a glory hole. Outside of the glorials. Yeah. I'm very excited to be here. I thought this is my first time actually being a guest on your podcast. Yeah, I'm stoked to be here Yeah, I thought it was the dollop until just I did really thought it was the dollop until I looked up there and saw the past times I'm doing that. That's what we do. We learn people in with the doll of me. It's like when you go to Hooter's own Monday,

you know what I mean? It's the B squad. Yeah, right. You mean the B cup squad? Yeah, probably. Probably. I like him, I like him small. That's right.

I don't mind him small. Yeah. I insist that they're small. Yes. Now, Ryan, you have a new special. I do have a special special. It is called lefty son after my father. wanted to give him a nod for being the person that introduced me to Kyle.

You love your father. He was a great influence. And then the last time the first time Dave did your podcast, Dave's father reached out to you. He did. And told you. By the way, before you say anything else here, just want you to know, really appreciate your dad being a big fan

He's No, I don't be amazing picture of something like fuck babe look at this mark And then he said no, just I know his dad really did I'm what he said he's a soft pants. Okay. He From the best recollection I have is basically like, hey man, great episode, Dave's full of shit. Don't believe anything. He says that for it is the Dave. And then he died right after.

Soon after. I didn't know another update podcast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's the past the way. Yeah. But yeah, that's not as interesting that right,, you know Ryan's got lefty son and then You he's got a daddy cares for and then yeah for every guy that's a dad. He enjoys There should be another guy doesn't like it. Yeah, yeah, I that bounces my mom is that person in my life

Yeah, my mom is your dad. Yeah, that's right here Well, what we always like to guess what year this paper So this paper is gonna be from who the fuck knows one Ryan It could be all of them 16. I think 1640s the 16th all the way up until you know now And we don't get a headline to guess what it might be that's day of dad you know That's him alive. No, no That was that was when he was alive We stopped like that. Yeah, Dave brought him out. We had a taxidermy situation.

Yeah. What's he wearing? That was when he became president of the Native Suns of the Golden West, which is a group that has its own podcast. What do white guys create it? That's right. They put plaques around.

It's basically a way for guys to go get drunk somewhere. Yeah. But the paper could be from the 1600s. It could be from the 1990s. We never know. So you want me to start right? Sure. All right, I'm going to guess for you,

I think he'll try to make it very crazy. So I'm going to guess 1885. You're wrong, get out. Let's have a little. It's a new thing we're doing. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, remotely close 1899 he was He was Right you dig it the 99 right so you're that doesn't let's close sir that's close I feel like We're gonna drop the first to you got the 99 right what do you want to move over there instead? The seven move the seven right the seven we're gonna stay

The fuck Move the seven right the seven we're gonna stay 1899 it is February 11th 1899 which is the Saturday sure Grand Junction call round of the grand grand junction news, okay? I didn't see that was named after a railroad. Sure. There you go. Sure. I don't care. I don't care. Gareth doesn't care. It's good you're on history podcast. Hey, the way. Come on.

This is a big deal. We're about to change. We're about to go to another, the 19th century here. Nice. So you know about that trick. This is like 1999-2000. You know about that trick too. Yeah, it's a new day.

That was in the 18th century. Say it. Well, they fucked, they fucked with it. It's a new week. It's a new month, it's a new day. That wasn't the 18th century. Say it. Well, they fucked, they fucked with it. It's a new week. It's a new week. It's a new year. Yes. It's a new decade.

It's a new century. It's a new, there's a new millennium. No. No. No. Okay. Thank you. Thank you guy over there.

Thank you, Aaron. 18.9. It's a big deal. It's cold to 11.99 right now. This is actually the last time that the Baltimore Orioles were good. Just for daycare. It's a fair shot though. And where Dave's that outfit.

Yeah. That's gold tassels are going out. Here's an headline prepared to telephone. Nice. There was a lady at the other end of the wire. Wow. So finally, yeah. It completed, right?

Yeah. Of course, it is really nothing to Jack Lawson's discredit that he is a beauty man of the ultra-British type. What's happening? So I think this guy got called a pansy right out of the gate. He's dressing like your dad? Yeah. I'm ready to read a phone call, real.

I can't take it up the phone. It never is responding. But the other writers of Polo Ponies and wielders of golf sticks at Burling game don't exactly like his exceeding popularity with the girls. Okay, so this is a black Disney. A lady's name. Polo and golf.

And that's what they're talking about. And they don't like the black. You know, why don't you like them again? Because of all the women. That's the only prejudice we're holding nowadays. Nowadays. And they tell an illustrative story about him with great gusto, says the San Francisco newsletter. Also, they're picking this up from another paper.

Okay. Quote. Someone wishes to speak to Mr. Lawson at the telephone, set a servant at the club in respectful accents to the tall Liverpool product So they were like they did an accent for him. Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Okay. Can I ask a question real quick? Yeah, go ahead. Have you read this article yet? He's read this paper. Yeah, I read through the paper You know everything you're about to tell us. I don't remember actually because it was so long I don't remember anything one point you know, I don't

Who is it was the language inquiry? A lady, sir, and then loss and moved. All right, so he's a dude. Yeah, right. Yeah, he's like, well, who is it? Who's on the other end? I got time. I'm over here.

Boy, there's another one over here. What's up? I hit the hole on the ladies. I'm just like this car. This is the first catfish. Hello. Hasteley jumping to his feet, he fastened the lower button of his double-breasted waistcoat, which of course, This is the first catfish. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha over to the nearest mirror, adjusted his neck. He realizes it's a phone, right? Yeah, cool. Really good to get myself together before.

What if she sees me through this device from the devil? Maybe he doesn't. Yeah. Rushed over to the nearest mirror. How's my breath? That's my breath. Ha, ha, ha. Rushed over to the nearest mirror,

adjusted his necktie and pulled down his coat. Here boy, he called the brush me off. Look, trap now. I can't keep a lady waiting. Then thirdly spruced up, he dived into the telephone room, conscious that he looked well enough to talk to any lady in San Mateo. So that's all they're doing.

So making fun of the fact that he- That he got himself presentable for a phone call, right? That's the whole story. That's it. And that's the front page. That's it and that's the front page That's the front page. Well second page is nothing on the front page. Oh, okay, of course Well, the front page is just add some stuff. Sure for sure. Let's how they did it back then. There you go. See it's interesting right right? Very that wasn't a good one. That was good. Well lucky. We came out of the gate slow. It's fine We don't I don't think so. It could have been better

the gate slow. It's fine. It could have been better. I just had sex with a woman. Yeah, the wires are everywhere. It looks like some of a poor glue into the receiver. I've met the one boy. This one is titled, Firm Indian Women. Oh, wait. So this is where Navajo's will never look at mothers-in-law. Right. Interesting.

An interesting indictment. Okay. I'm like, Oh, during a recent serving expedition into the Navajo reservation, I camped one night in December near a Navajo Hogan or hut. Just called a hut.

Is this still Colorado? Yeah, this is all going to be Colorado. The night was bitterly cold and a sharp piercing wind but happening to walk over to the hut. Is this a mother-in-law writing this? No, this is a guy. No, this is a guy. I stumbled over to what appeared to be a bundle of old rags, but which, on examination, by the dim light of the stars,

turned out to be an old woman. That is unbelievable. That, I mean, it's just like, ah, okay. They're already like, boy, you know, I hate the white people. And then this fucking idiot like camps out near them is so called, comes over, he's like, ah, clothes. And then it's a woman, he's like,

excuse me, we'll beg. Oh, man. Oh, man. She was decrepit and bent with age and so feeble that she had fallen from sheer weakness. Jesus. So he's like, oh, I'm disgusted. In her hands.

She's like, yeah. Mind if I do. My tent's cold. In her hands, she held a few bits of sagebrush, which she had been collecting to make a fire. And as she revived under our administration, she muttered, bez cause, bez cause. It's called, it's called being asked why she did not remain within the shelter of the hut. On such a night, she explained that her daughter's husband had come to visit them. And as she had no other place to go, she had wandered out in the open plain. So you imagine how much you want a bang to be like,

I'm gonna say is that what it is? Yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, that's what it's got to be like. So it's just like, Hey grandma, get out. No mom. Hey mom, get out of here. Oh yeah, mom.

My life, well look, Troy's here. Get out of here. Oh yeah, mine. My life. Well look, Troy's here. Troy. We're gonna bang. He came right away. I missed my mom. This can be a bang tonight. Yeah.

Can you go make yourself like a pile of rags out there? Hey, rag lady. The situation is complicated by the prevalence of polygamy in the tribe. With the result that someone or another of a man's mothers-in-law is apt to pop out almost anywhere and leave him a poor maimed wreck. Wait, no idea what that means. Oh, damn it, I needed you.

Yeah, these really needed you. You lost me. Well, it's a polygamy. So the the manner bagging multiple women. Yeah. Okay. And then so the mother in law. So it's basically like, you never know where a mother in law is going to pop out. I think that's what he's saying. He's saying there's so many mother in laws because there's so many. Oh, and that's the headline is you don't they don't like looking at mother in laws. Right. But that's not true. It's just like nobody wants to fucking front of someone's mother. Some of them do. Well, I that's actually my thing. Yeah, just locking eyes with the mother.

Yeah. You done real good with this one, Nance. That's the worst thing that's ever happened. Never get off my butt. Safety 99. Safety 99, glad it's. Oh, my mother-in-law this morning was like, I want to take Finn to an escape room for his birthday.

And I said, isn't every room an escape room to her? Yeah, 80, and that didn't go well. Well, you want to raise this date, paying the daughter in the room. Yeah, you'll sign many things to get out of here. Okay. Is that it? No, there's not.

As the belief is perfectly sincere, this is a real danger. Far more dreadful to the Indian mind than an encounter with an armed enemy. Uh-huh. I have seen an old warrior, a man whose courage had been tried in battle, turn and run like a rabbit when notified that his mother-in-law was approaching. So this is a 1899 mother-in-law was approaching. So. This is a, this is a, this is a, it's a white, it's a white, it's a white,

it's a white, it's a white guy's way of being like, look, we're not so bad. Have you seen the mother-in-law? But yeah, it is also just like any young man like, I'm also doing Navajo rages. These mother-in-laws, are you kidding me?

Please, take them, please. They're like a big bag of rags. Ah. Ah. Ah. Uh, if no such escape as possible, the man will drop down by the trail and drawing his blanket over his head,

remain ostrich-like until the danger has passed. So he puts his head in, he's like, this is trying to, he's like, he's just a real mother-in-law. This is, is this a loony tunes writer? It's pretty close. Is this a comedic newspaper all together? I think this is comedic yeah this is the challenge like the onion well this one yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah but if any of his friends are about they will hustle the woman away and conceal her behind a rock or even some sage brush and tell you get escape. The woman is of course soundly braided for thus interfering with the comfort and convenience of her son-in-law. I mean it goes on but we need to read anymore that. Sure. They got.

You know what? I just remembered very randomly. My dad watched my honey do appearance like a month ago. And he also emailed me. And he was like, I just want to give you some context to some of the stuff you talked and I was like, what? Cause we did that like two, three years ago. Yeah.

I was like, what's going on? He had a lot. He was like, I take issue with some of the things you said on that. And I was like, dead, this is crazy. Wait, like what? Like that, my, that I had an attorney hired for me. He was like, the court appoints an attorney for you. Cause my parents got divorced.

It was a night, go watch the episode. But he really was, he had like, he, I don't know, it's, yeah, you know. You have a good relationship. Yeah, totally. Okay, so. But I just woke up from a nap. But he was not hot.

And he was like, he was like, explain like explaining I was like dad. I was seven Seven for a lot of yeah, but still you need to live because I'm the time to get the facts right little boy. Yeah It was nice. I can't believe your dad's both With your epic say it's crazy Well my dad also did about marijuana. I was on Marin. He said crazy. My dad also did a marion. When I was on marion, he said he wanted to do a rebuttal. He called marion, he told marion. Classic.

I had a lot of fun. He sent marion a message and he's like, I would like to come on and give a rebuttal. Absolutely. That's not how pod, no, no, no, no, no, no, let's open this up. Imagine if that happened on marion's podcast, you got to come in and give a rebuttal.

He books your dad before me, especially since he has. Yeah, especially since he's dad. Yeah, the passing makes it tough. This one's called Eats Dinner with Her Lions. And there's a picture. You guys can see, there's a picture of a lady. Who eats with her? Okay, so it's not like a...

It's a great illustration. Someone's trying to make it. Someone's trying to make it to draw that. Yeah. This was the time of illustrated papers. This is a big thing. Mm. Madel Claire Harlot.

Harlot Harlot. Harlot? Fuck. You're now using the mic like you have a voice box. You are officially, there you go. Madem Harlock. Is a darling tamer of wild beasts. She is making people gasp in Germany

where she is giving in all the principal towns and exhibition that proves very popular. Let's em bang her. Yeah. Fuck some monkeys. This is a daily dinner in Alliance rope. No, that's no, I'm right, right, wrong. This is a daily dinner in a lion's rope. No, that's no, I'm right, right, wrong. This is a daily dinner in a lion's cage

with a sorted wild beast as pets. So she's eating dinner with lions. And she's in Germany. And there's a dog in the picture. Well, that dog's not long for this world. Not in that cage. No. Madam as well, hello, is British by birth.

She begins by bossing the trick lions, Nearow and Sasha while they walk the tightrope. So far as all the girls can tell, she rules her animal friends without inflicting cruel punishment. This is very sick freedom Roy. And by the way, it's great until it ain't. Yeah, yeah, but then a sick freedom Roy was kind of fun.

There was a lot of people. You knew that was common. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But also this is different. This is a lady by herself. It's five lines. I'm seeing it. In this picture, there's one, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

How many are in the cartoon, Dave? Seven in the cartoon. I don't know how you take care of seven lines by yourself. Number one. Single mom taking care of seven. You got to have a very, very stern voice. You better. Yeah.

And then to sit and eat food, you know, cage with them, that's the mental part right there. Like that's nuts. Just eating steak right now. How are you guys doing? But you guys finished your spas! Damn, fuck that part right there.

Absolutely. Fuck every- Would you guys like cage with or without food? Does the only choice you have, I'm like, I'm going without the food. Yeah, I'm going without the food. Fuck it, that. Then comes the great act.

In the middle cage, a table is spread, a strong table, with dishes of food in abundance, but only one knife. But, well, okay, not a huge deal to me, honestly. They have teeth. Yeah, the knives, they got a whole mouth and eyes look at these idiots None of them go into the night. Take your fucking head off Half ass Swap your head. Yeah, I've got a bunch of knives

But wait, this is different than I thought too because I'm in my mind I'm imagining just a plate in her hand and just no I think this is a feast on a fucking madhatters table To this banquet a miss Harlow invites all her animals No, I think it's a feast on a mac. It's a mad-hatter's table. To this banquet, a miss Harlow invites all her animals. They group themselves at one side of the table and behind it, while she sits down, cuts meat and feeds them and herself by turns.

It's just, this is crazy. This is like grizzly man. It's like, oh, you know, it's like, oh yeah, it's an amazing story. What happened? They ate her brain. Yeah, yeah, it's an amazing story. What happened? They ate her brain. Yeah, they ate her. They ate her. If one of the lines shows desire to get a morsel out of his turn, the mistress of the table taps him on the nose with a big spoon and says, the boy's, can Abe, Abe, their boy's name. It's like I'm in France. And the bad boy draws back with a meek and contrite expression.

So her weapon is a spoon. Yeah, she hits him with a spoon on the, taps him with a spoon on the nose. That's all she ever did to him. She never, there's never been any beating or something. Try that shit in the jungle. Yeah, yeah. That's like those ASLs in the ocean.

Like if a shark ever comes up to you, just put your hand on it's not like I'm Punch it like punch it. You're like in water and what I'm screaming and Just the my favorite word in the sentences She'll put your head on their nervousness. Remain calm. F**k all. Remain calm, but tell it's no. It's not worth. Oh. It's my last words. I'm petting its nose.

I'm petting its nose. I'm petting its nose. Oh. Oh. On the whole, it was a well-behaved dinner party, which F. Sprekt, the artist sketched at the Nilsuological Garden in Stuttgart. Wow.

That's, I don't. Well, yeah, but that is the thing. I mean, Sikfried and Roy forever, people are like, how did they do it? And then it was like a 2020, they were like, can Roy speak? Yeah, right. Yeah, this is, but it is early entertainment.

And it's also that carnival style fucking act. Yeah. You know, is it traveling or do people come from my travel around? It's traveling. How do you travel in with fucking seven lions? I mean, circus. It's hard to travel with this guy. Hey, come on.

Hey, what are we doing here? I thought we were parties. I bet it's seven lions. You believe this guy? Come on. Hey. Hey, there are people listening to the dollop. This is Gareth.

Yes, this is the same guy. I listen. I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call-in-and-advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't. But we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake.

I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. Iron Graveyard for Venezuela. It's just... Now, I'm gonna guess that this has something to do with, I guess it's too early for... Stealing bodies? Oh, yeah, must be stealing bodies.

This is stealing body time. Okay, I was gonna suggest some, I was gonna suggest radiation, but it's too early. Oh, it's way too early for radiation. This is stealing body time for Okay, I was gonna suggest some, I was gonna suggest radiation, but it's too early. Oh, it's way too early for radiation. This is stealing body time for like experiment. Ryan, through history, there have been a lot of reasons to put people in letter I and coffins. Is that right?

Yeah, why? Well, stealing bodies and radiation? Not radiation. So number one, what? There was a time where people were like, it literally was marketed like gatorade to just drink radium. Yeah.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, people would and then people would be like, I feel fucking great. And then two years later, they'd be like, I don't have a jaw. I don't have a jaw. And then they'd be like buried and they'd have to like seriously tomb on the floor.

Because they're full of radiate. Yeah, because if you were like, yeah. Like if you had an open year, it would be like, that's like 19. 19? That's what I'm having. That's what I'm having. 19, yeah, like if you had an open year was like that's like 19 19 No one had expected you're a 90 80 90 90 90 90 90

No Reagan era What's fucking nuts? Okay The iron manufacturers of Pennsylvania have been asked to submit proposals to the government of Venezuela for an iron cemetery in which to re-enter 25,000 bodies. Jesus. 25, 20,000. How old is that? 25 grand?

What the fuck is happening? Where are they now? It's bigger than the Staples Center. Tonight's attendance. There is the... That is... Or crypto, whatever the fuck that thing's called. I don't even know.

Staying still. No, it'll be stable forever. Well, crypto, yeah. What are you doing with 25,000 bodies until then? The proposal is novel with iron industries of that state, although there are a few iron cemeteries in southern cities. The Venezuelathers have become tired of building stone graveyards.

They have been erected at great expense of marble and granite, and it is believed that iron will answer every purpose, but it must be waterproof. What? That's a crazy part too. What are they going for? I think they just want to change it up. Yeah, I think there's no other reason to do it.

It's a static transformation in the body. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you have, bud? I get it. Well, if we're bearing, let's say, thousands of people at a clip with this full of radiation in these iron tombs, you're telling me that at no point in time, they blew up or anything.

No, they didn't blow up. I don't think they had enough. They didn't blow up. They didn't em they had enough. They didn't blow up. They didn't embalm or anything back then. They just threw the body in the thing and shut the lid. That's what they eventually started doing. Yeah. But there were probably a lot of people

buried with radiation in them. And they were saying they're bombs. They're just ticking time bombs. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's kind of exciting, isn't it? I mean, depends on where they're buried. The hell is that where they're? The hell is that where they're at?

Yeah. That's what that box is. Oh my God, Yeah, it's like when you put like the airbag under someone for a prank Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, every time I see those I'm like that guys paralyzed. Yeah, they are They're aggressive to do to someone fine The venting your like my god, I'm not meeting the cylinder or let their point in the lab Just let me up man. You should see the look on your dead head. We got you so good. So there was a time, I mean, Gareth learned this early on

where they had a special, this is how they used to write Chinese. Chinese? With two ease. They used to do this. There's pretty common in papers to have. Yeah, it's cool. The wicked Chinese, it's just too, yeah.

Is that just to save on the letter for print? Like, for money? It definitely is based on that, versus the right wrist. That's what I'm talking about. It's a budgetary. Yeah, it's budgetary. It's budgetary. It's like Wheel of Fortune.

The Wicked Chinese and where he's bound for in the other world. Jesus Christ. Unless his relatives come to his rescue and fool the devil at tremendous rate, various phases of the hereafter. And this is the Chinese person's got to fool the devil. Whom they're in contact with constantly, obviously. This is a big thing in old papers was making stuff up about what people from other countries did,

specifically Chinese and like they would just make up. And this is why they're coming for the fucking railroad jobs. Yeah, this is when they're building the railroad. So this is right around, yeah, this is definitely a good time. This is there, they send their rapists. They send their losers. There's some of them. A couple of them are wonderful people. Three of them are fine. Great egg rolls. Yeah. And there

was a bunch of, uh, uh, so the Chinese had a belief that they had, once they died, they needed to get the body back home and the body need to be buried in the village that they're from. It was like if you don't, whatever, it's upsetting to the afterlife or whatever. And so that made a lot of Americans start making fun of them.

Right? Meanwhile, we were eating their hearts. Yeah, eating their hearts. Like we were like, well, grandpa's dead. Who wants to eat his kidney so we don't have vampires? Yeah, that happened. For real? Yeah.

Something like that. Man, you guys learn a lot about the past times. Yeah, we're not great. We're not great. That's great for the preview. Yeah, that's your promo material. That's good. You're good.

Chinese gods are like nightmares in broad daylight. Wow, just coming in hot. That's hot. That's hot. Really, that's hot. I'm not pulling. At the double doors are always two. One on each side in the most fearful passion

twisting their faces and swinging mallets and evident intent on doing something most dangerous. Jesus. He's a foolish half-witted chap, is the Chinese devil? For whereas I think he's trying to find the actual Chinese devil. Can you imagine shitting like on a race so heavily, like if they're devils dumb. They're devil. They got a dumb dumb devil.

The devil's so stupid. The half-witted chap is the Chinese devil. Whereas ordinary mortals can see even with half an eye and that's a fucking slam. That's a slam, yeah. And that with a cast in it that the Guardian Gods are only stucco, the poor diluted devil believes they are real. And being afraid of receiving a bang over the head never ventures too far. I spent a week with the Chinese devil.

And how are you going to bend it? The pictures are not as good as the last article. The pictures are old. Yeah, all good. All good. I I get to it. When a Chinese man is buried, he isn't really buried. But you see is. No, why was the wheel?

It's not real. But the coffin is placed on the ground, and the earth is shoveled over him until there is quite a respectable heap. I like that. I mean, that's why. It's a burial mound. It does.

Get this. They're not even digging holes They're just digging a hole to fill the oh and then they got a hole and they're not even using it I sold their devil a lemon bite this guy's all like I sold their devil a lemon bite this guy's all like this That's why I call the devil Hey fucking dumb and shit Now come on over we're eating Uncle Ted's heart What's the point of using all that dirt? You just dug a hole you stupid Chinese person

God the greater the man the greater the heap The eldest son has to make sacrifice to the gods to ensure his parents temporary safety from discomforts due to fire So if you run it back that last time. Yeah, yeah, that's a tough one. The eldest son has to make sacrifice to the gods to ensure his parents' temporary safety from discomforts due to fire. So they're worried about fire in the burial mound? I guess. I think we're taking liberties.

Yeah. Yeah. But it is expensive. Killing men and animals at sacrifice. Wait, are they saying they literally sacrificed the sun? They're saying that they killed people to keep fire away. Yeah. And the eldest son's got to go.

So if your dad dies, your dad is. Your dad is. Yeah, you'd be a goner. What's ill the eldest son has to make sacrifice to the gods? Oh, so maybe it's an animal. So he gives his son or a per- oh yeah. Where's other. Where are we going, dad? Well, grandpa, dad. Oh, so maybe it's an animal. So he gives his son or a, oh yeah. Yeah.

Where's that other, where are we going dad? Well, grandpa dad. Oh, you're going to. So you're going to or a step mom. Sure. Yeah. So there's quite a business preparing paper men and paper horses and paper money.

Again, now they've. They're machine. Now they've explained a little bit further, and it sounds like it's not an actual person that's been killed. It's a paper person. Okay. Right. A paper horse.

Could it, sure. Open with that? Absolutely. That's an opener. Yeah. He's the big, that author there, maybe it's a lady, it's the big, that's the reveal, you know what I mean? Oh my God.

Okay. Chois of the year after. That great. It's, the picture is really racist. Well, it's nice to see your early Gary Larsen obviously. Early Gary Larsen. Yeah. These are...

For the far east side. These are all burnt to the bonfire. The sacrifices are made after all, and ridiculously beneath cost prices in the gods are fooled. So it's, yeah, listen to me. They're sacrifices. They're like coupon.

That discount and sacrifice it. You don't think you're fucking god's gonna know you're full of shit. He's gonna know those melons was I'd say Yeah, you didn't go by a cat you just found one in an alley you give it to your guy, isn't that great You dumb devil though no nothing He's in the do I get the soul today? I don't even know no more They dug a fucking hole and they ain't even using it And this is making a fucking real roadside all thanks

All right, I'm just gonna leave that one It just keeps going on and on. It's never gonna happen I get me about long it. It's going on and on. It's never gonna happen. I get leave out of the log it is. It just goes on and on about it. People are really fucked in the head. This guy's fine. Wait, sorry.

I got it. Fine. Just have to get this on micro-feesh. Where I know, right? You need a jeweler's loop. What's a jeweler's loop? Yeah, you need one of those little little, kind of on a second here.

The little, that eyepiece. Yeah, a little jeweler. How would that help with this? I don't know. I just think in general for your look, it would be great. Two of them, I think he's, oh my god. Buddy, want any chai? Yeah.

Or you could stack them on. Yeah, I would if you want to use them, but we're not buying you just one. You have an idea what I pulled you over? No, I don't, Ozefer. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Double looped. Witchcraft and the Yukon.

Finally. Witchcraft of a particularly barbarous description has long existed among the Indians of the Yukon district and of South Eastern Alaska, but is now to be summarily done away with Okay prop 9 pass With which crap And blankets and yeah, it's just a mom and a kid out there snap and It's just the mom and a kid. Oh, they're snapping.

It's brooms over their knees. Look, I've enjoyed witchcraft a long time. But if it increases my prices of the grocery store, count me out. Crap 9 is a way for big witchcraft to keep growing and growing. And for my son and I, I don't think that works. No, no, I'm not. I've run against witchcraft since I came here. Yeah, yeah.

I'm a bad dog. It's bad and I came here. Yeah, yeah. I'm a bad, bad don't- It's over for decades. I'm damn tired of chipping over cauldrons. I'm tripping over. Uh, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel,

the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel, the novel for the purpose at Genu and the jail is

full of Indians who are accused of several most brutal murders, all of which can be directly traced to witchcraft. It's so they can kill them, but just wait a minute, people die. The paper's amazing. The paper's amazing. Well Frank's dead, what can it have been? Witches! The hell am witches.

Obviously a lot of this is the witches. They walk amongst us, we're aware of that. There's a couple good ones. I'm not shit, not all witches. I'm present a couple witches. Good ones. I like the not witches. I'm present in a couple of witches. Good ones. I like the good witches. But these other ones decapitate in the hands.

The doctor chiefs to the several tribes are responsible. It has been through the death of patients treated by them that other members of the tribes have been condemned as in league with the devil. So, so this is like, so the doctor, Shaman I guess they're called, other indigenous people have their medicine men and because they didn't cure someone, they're like, well,

well, which, there we go. Yep, yep, another one dead from which. That's it. Damn, another, another dad of which. Boy, I think it's airborne. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Call it which. Another dad of witch. Boy, I think it's airborne. It's called witch. Simon Aruka, a six-year-old record of, I don't know what that says, of Cuba.

A record? A record. It's a six-fingered and six-toed wonder. Nice. 24 digits. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

Now this is enough in this era to be like, you've got it made. Either you have to live in the woods alone, or you're like, now this isn't enough in this area to be like you've got it made either You have to live in the woods alone or you're like yeah little more caveat Please you don't as a lady eating fucking dinner with the lions for Christ sake get your toes and fucking fingers in there One of the lions bit up my back. They'll see you my future Based on the argument that if a five-fingered biped is able to earn and lay by a moderate competency in 60 years, a six-fingered one should be wealthy in the same space at time. So he's saying, if you can make a lot of money with five fingers on each hand over 60

years, you can make a lot more with six fingers. It's called MAP. I don't disagree in this area. Good to finance. If you're there. I don't disagree in this area. You go to finance. If he is there. Oh, in this area for sure. You're like, well, we thought his future would be swimming, but people just pay a dime to see him.

That's like, you can just do like this. Yeah. We're going to have a big one on dime. What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later?

What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? What are you doing later? I want to win! Get outta here, Jimmy. He's getting hiesed real quickly. Well, Simon Rooka should today be a rich man, retired from all active life, and looking back on a pathway marked with it. So, are they did you chiming him? They're like, this guy really didn't use his... He had extra digit on each part of his body, and he did nothing with it.

Yeah, he didn't make any money. On a pathway marked with six-digited footprints over which he has trot into ripe old age. Are they really rubbing it in? Yeah, they really are. But Ruka, a poor man, depending for his bare existence on the few dollars, he can earn at infrequent intervals in his profession capacity as a record.

He's a record. I know what a record is. That's what I'm curious. The home record is good. Yeah, all the ladies want the... Yeah, he does. Yeah, you gotta get the shocker from this guy. Shocker from...

He really. Ruka is a native of Andros Island, one of the British Bahamas, so not at all Cuba. Not at all Cuba. Oh, dear. You got to love us. Where he was born of African parentage in the days of slavery. Oh, so a black guy with 24 toes and fingers is not making total bread. How weird would it change?

Yeah. Sixth thing. His early life was spent fishing for sponges on the barren keys, an occupation for which he was eminently fitted by reason of the great number of fingers with which nature has so liberally endowed him. So he was really good at grabbing sponges off the bottom of the ocean.

Speed or hands or both? Yeah, both, I would think. Think about that. He's down there don't four times to work. Fuck yeah. Yeah, he's like the Flintstone's octopus dishwasher. Yeah, hold on. What?

Rook has six fingers on either hand and six toes on his right foot. So his left one is just 23. He is otherwise normally constructed. So he's got a five, he's got a five-toed foot. Right, the left. Yeah, the rest of the weird one. And then everything else is six.

There's nothing repulsive about his hands. Way to go. That's awesome. What a foot fair journalism. Thank God. I'm not sick and as the fingers are all perfect articulated and flexible. About 10 years ago, Ruka was discovered by the master of an American schooner which went ashore on the rocks. A ship. I know, but that's like

we're picking something up over here, sir. Man is extra toes. Which we'll assure on the rocks at the entrance to a harbor. He made him an offer to come to this country and exhibit himself at a museum. Well, there you go. By the way, made him a Oxford. Yeah, got him. Excuse me. Let's go. Would you like to live in a cage in San Francisco?

But people can poke you with sticks. Your neighbors are late to eat dinner with lions. You're not Chinese. I know. No, you're not. The map of the world is America. And then we just kind of figured out all the others, all the others. Ruka who shrinks from publicity. So that's a right away away we found a problem with the plan of putting him in a museum.

Yeah, well guys like, no, I just like to live a life, look at him, camera shy. And prefers his humble existence in the land of his adoption to the glittering life of a dye museum free. So they are admitting that this man is just basically indentured. They're saying that he chose wrong by not wanting to be put on display and given nickels. Yeah, right, right. What a terrible life choice he's made.

I just wanna live my life alone and just don't have people poking at me and throwing dimes at me. Okay, loser. The loser. That's called being, you should really God had a plan for you to sit in this cage and get pennies And we get all of it

I'm he refused the offer Ruka although he took no part in the recent war is a rabid separatist and an earnest advocate of the cause of free Cuba He is like many others of his race I don't know what that a Malig, it's messed up the word. I'm kinda glad it is. Magna-liquent orator, and can talk about anything. So he's a very capable... He's, essentially, we just read that he's a guy and he has six.

He's a guy and he's got an extra digit on three limbs. He's the inventor of the high six. Yeah. Yeah. I I never get it. I'm always giving more. I'm sick. Get a get a high six. Get a high six. You get five from me, man.

Here, put up your neck. Give it to him. There you go. Got him. Got to put him in. All right. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, this is more about witches. Consumption has made great ravages in the Indian camps during the past few months. Consequently, the number of witches in accompanying murders has increased. So they're just like, OK, are they? No, wait, wait. They're saying consumption is okay. No, wait. No, wait. They're saying consumption just means you're sick.

Is it a TB? Yeah. Yeah. So they have tuberculosis and they're like, that in conjunction with the witches. Really? Yeah. So they're going anywhere. Yeah, yeah.

Well, they died from tuberculosis and the witch is not living out there. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that.

And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that.

And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. And the witch is not helping that. Oh, that's why. That's great. That's a great move. Yeah, if you don't get better, you're like, well, you're clearly fucked up with witches. You just went through a terrible time in the hospital, the doctor comes up to you and he goes, well, we did everything we could, but there was a witch in your room. Ryan, you're full of witches.

Right, we did everything we could. This is what's really fucking wild, and I'm not joking when I say this. I've talked about this story a bunch on the podcast, but I've only said this maybe on one or two. The morning that I collapsed and almost died, I was around noon when I was-

Humble, brag. At like five a.m. it's still dark, it's raining outside. You're home? No, I'm in hospital, okay. And you thought he was getting out. I hope my eyes up a little bit. Yeah, I'm supposed to go home that day That was the day you're supposed to get out right? I think you can do this in junior day. I was supposed to go home on what a way to celebrate it and

There was some black figure at the end of my bed No shit, and it was shaped human-ish there were no details or anything but the silhouette was of a of a person it seemed and It grabbed my fucking right big toe, and it fucking shook it. And then it fucking walked off. Shhh. It's where it got.

There may have actually been with my wife. How many toes do you have? I have 11. What? Wait a minute. Six on my left. Run! Run!

That's crazy. That really did happen. It really did happen. I was like, what the fuck was that? Six on my left. Ruck up! Ruck up! That's crazy. That really did happen. It really did happen. You know what's, what the fuck what? You know what's, what sleep paralysis? You know what's, what the fuck what? A lot of times they talk about like seeing demonic, if you're

at sleep paralysis? I've had it one time, but I don't believe it was sleep paralysis. I genuinely believe the spirit was on top. Me hold me down. Yeah, well that's what they said. No, that sounds like my dad. That, that was it. That's, you know, it's like with Jesus,

it's the one set of footprints with Dave's dad, it's like, man, the demon was holding the game. I was hopping. I was hopping. That's one foot, I'm hopping. And the demon was dry hopping. But there's a comedian I know who has passed away and we used to talk about sleep paralysis

and he was always basically that. He was like the demon. He was like, I would see this like demon. It's the only time I've ever seen it. I can't say it was a demon. It could have been someone saying, hey man, some shit's about to go down. Good luck to you.

It could have been, it could have been those. What it was. But I had a sleep paralysis moment in there where. That's crazy. Crazy. I kept telling them the delauded, sorry, I can't say that, that they were giving me through my IV, was fucking with me. I'm not a big drug guy. It's weed and a little bit of shrooms for me. I'm not into coke, sorry, I can't say that, that they were giving me through my IV, was fucking with me.

I'm not a big drug guy, it's weed, and a little bit of shrooms for me. I'm not into coke, acid, none, I've never done any of that. I'm not into pills. But this Delauded is fucking me up. And while you're talking to me, I am seeing chunks of your face just fall off

and hit the table. And it's graphic as fuck. I see your cheekbone under it. It's fragmented the way it would look. It was stringy little. And I'm just like, Dave, your face is falling apart. And I finally, I'm like, get this shit out of my IV. I'll take it orally and I'll hold off as long as I fucking can.

And one night I have a dream. Now the problem is. I'm Martin Luther King Day. No, this is after almost. Is he at a dream? He did. He did. He did. Much better.

Yeah, it was a lot better. I'm not from what about that. Yeah, yeah. Lady next to me is the owner. Oh, this is the worst, I'm sorry. I've heard your whole story. It's the worst part of the story all night all day. So they're tired of it.

They're tired of it. Just like I go to sleep. They killed her. They killed her. They killed it. They're tired of it. Just like gold or a slid. They killed her. They killed her. They killed her. They killed her. I go to sleep and I have a dream that I'm in like a finished basement and I'm behind this little bullshit little,

you know, finished basement bar that your parents would have, the like wood paneling or whatever. And I'm trying to yell to people in the room, I need help. I'm just trying to say help help help Next thing I know they're throwing me in the back of an old like Toyota Thursell I'm laying on the floor not the seat the floor behind the seats and they just start throwing bodies in on time They're bearing you in the body is what I'm dreaming and I know I'm screaming at this point I know I'm yelling in my sleep. I know I'm fighting and I'm like, and I dig out of the car

and then all the dream I'm outside the hospital. I'm crawling to get back in. I'm like show my wrist band like, I was supposed to be in there. You know what I'm dying to get in there. And then I fucking wake up and I hit my god damn nurse thing and the nurse comes in and go, come on. You didn't hear me screaming. She goes, what? I go, I know I'm screaming. I woke myself up fucking screaming. She goes, oh my God. We thought it was the lady next to me. I'm just in order. And I was like, you fuck.

Could you keep it down over there? So did I. So did I. Another new rule I had. I was there for a month. It was, do not let me get to REM sleep. Oh, don't. Come in and wake me up early.

Do not fuck it up. Wow. Oh, I'm gonna get the. Oh, it was terrifying. Terrible. Anyway, that's another episode of Sandman. Tam Witches. We got him. Colorado Witches, man.

So you're, so you believe in the witches that you got? I saw one. Okay. They wrapped me up one of those blankets they had. That's, that is nuts. Mm-hmm. If anyone has any delotted, I'd love to. Yeah.

Right. My daughter's mother took that shit one time in the hospital, she was there for something and she doesn't even take Advil. This chick was in a flat bed and almost slid out at a damn thing. Like she, like just turned into a fucking puddle and I was like, you're gonna fall out of this fucking bed.

Wow. She's like, what's going on? I'm on? Oh man, that's what that shit though Oh my god dude, it is wild shit. I have no idea The medicine man, I'm just gonna jump right back. Yeah, the medicine man may or may not point out the unfortunate one is always found however and promptly imprisoned Often to the effect a cure he is terribly tortured. Often to affect a cure he's terribly tortured. So he's like, no, he would be like,

ah, I'm trying to save you. The medicine is. I think so. Oh, it's a personal, emotional torture. I think so. But maybe it's like, you know, it's kind of like, oh, burning out the eyes of the victim of the red hot iron is a favorite mode of punishment. I retire. I retire. I retire. I don't say punishment before he dies. Yeah, wow. You got to get the eyes.

Am I going to make it? No, who's punishing him? This is the the width of the doctor. This is the medicine man. He's punishing him because he's a witch because he's not. Yeah, it is. It is because that is what he's like. Because he's like, you didn't get healed. I'm a burn your eyes out. There's a witch inside of you. Yeah, it is. It is because that is what it is. Because he's like, you can heal. You didn't get healed. There's a witch inside of you. So let's burn her out. That's how you probably keep her witchy. Yeah, that is.

Which place can you imagine just getting sick, like cancer? Oh, man. And they're like, no, this is some witch shit right now. Yeah. Ah! You promised us as this worked before. Could you give it to Prawner? Just do it once, say, Dog,

because that really hurts to go one and then me up. Get one of those like three stooge ones. Yeah. Or you just do this, well a lot of patients go and they figured this move out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, they figured this move out right here. They're pulling what we call in the Great Land the Curly. If this or some other punishment equally does not affect a cure and the patient dies, yeah well that- Hey man my bad, my bad, you know what, you live for that? What did you do? We were wrong. Who did what? Sorry.

Who did what? Did the hot poker and the eye fix him? What did you do? Who did what? Sorry. Who did what? Did the hot poker in the eye fix him? Fix him. It turns out this one wasn't witches. You believe it? Yeah, unbelievable. Put him next to the lady with the lion fucking thing.

Let's make some money off this guy. It's a pleasure to meet you. It's a lion. Oh, okay. The patient dies. The alleged witch has slowly put to death. The witch? A ledge to which? I like that they throw that in there.

They don't want to be sued by the right. No, no, hey, just doing editing. Let's call editing. Let's put a little ledge up there. Let's call it scapewaching. Usually his internal organs are burned out for the death must be slow and painful. Okay, right.

You gotta do it right. For the river Indians have been especially cruel during the past year. Their witches are usually young boys or women. Several have been rescued by missionaries after being terribly mutilated. I don't get the witch. Okay, so we got to the end there. Yeah. No, this sounds like white guys are doing it.

I was just gonna say, yeah. Whenever it's all like, there are doing it. I was just gonna say, yeah. It's, it's, it's, whatever it's all like. There are people that died like this. That's what wild people do. Like, like, if I had to go the way I just went, it was painful as fuck, but it wasn't, it wasn't hot swords in my eyes. You know what I mean?

Like, let's get a lever out and burn it. Yeah, why is the life? Yeah. So it hurts. That's the whole point. Yeah. Sorry, Ryan. You have witches in you.

He really doesn't understand. Take the other eye. Take it. I mean, Native Americans don't have some brutal ways to kill people. But this just sounds like how do we demonize people? Right. We're fucking them up. And then we're like, no, they're doing it to each other.

Yeah, right. Like that. Yeah. Also written by a white guy most written by a white guy. That's the part that you gotta be a little. Many parents certainly were just gonna switch gears. Many parents certainly do not know when their boys, where their boys are on Sunday afternoon or what they are doing.

Plenty of good books, a comfortable chair, and a warm room with a strong guiding hand would save many lads from going to the bad in our city. So we are still having the father conversation back then. Yeah, we are. We have a father problem. Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah, they're saying you gotta, you gotta. We don't know what they're doing.

You should be in the study with your dad and a globe. And a globe. Come on, name anything better. Dad gets rip shit off of some de-cantored brandy. Spins the globe while you sit in there. Cracks his head on it, but he's all over. Yeah. Lives a clue, mystery, and front of ya.

Stead you got these kids out there, fishing and rivers. Just asking for witches to jump in their veins. Charles Kraft was frozen to death while trying to ride his bicycle. The Kraft magazine. Oh, we used to. This is when they came up with the frozen dinner. This is when they came up with the frozen dinner. This is the right.

A good idea is if we can heat these up, that would be, you know what I mean? Charles Crab. Chuckie Crab. What's up, baby? Charles Crab. It's called macaroni and freeze. Yeah.

Hahaha. Hahaha. Chuck. For freeze and macaroni. Charles Crab was frozen death while trying to write his bicycle from Madrid Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He was making a short cut across a field to save distance and evidently fell from his wheel to the ground where his body was accidentally discovered frozen solid. Okay, I'm not trying, like, I'm sorry, this guy passed away. But back then, 15 miles was like 500 feet and he fell off his bike and then he was like,

it's too much. That's it. It's over for me. I give up, I can't. He's also riding through, like you, a bicycle, like you don't ride through fields. Here's a shortcut. Yeah, right.

That too, especially. You know what, I bet if I cut through these miles of corn, I could get there a little faster. He's holding up like this. Try to go my line. What about noodles and cheese? Yeah, one big wheel. He's standing up.

He's a up. He was hardest. Just a little further. There we go. 30,000 feet above his eight miles. Can't be much further. He's just freezing. He's out there. It's a crop circle. Just a little bit further.

Just a little bit further. Oh, it falls off. That's it. Oh, it falls off, that's it. The store of WF White was entered Sunday evening between the hours of five and seven o'clock by a lad not nine years of age. Nice. And some pocket knives and a revolver taken. Nice, I love this nine year old.

I got a little ability to kid it here. Is there anything better than a story starting with nine year old with a gun? Yeah, nine year old goes I got a little ability to kid it, yeah. Is there anything better than a story starting with nine year old with a gun? Yeah, nine year old goes and takes a pocket and I use it a gun. Rob's a store. Rob's a get a pocket.

I think there's gonna lead to more robbery. Now he's armed. The entrance was gained by breaking a window pane in the alley which furnished a tempting opportunity. The boy's name is not mentioned because it is not necessary to give him extra notoriety. Wow, back then. Back then they wouldn't call it that shooter.

They wouldn't do it. Whereas now they're like, walk through the shooter's household and family history. Not because he's a minor and we wanna protect his innocence, but because let's not fucking advertise this kid. Because it's not necessary to give him action notoriety, which may tend to retard efforts to control him at home, where he should certainly be kept under strict watch.

You're grounded, buddy. Yeah, for Katberg, Lauren. He certainly is too young to be allowed to ruin his life and can be controlled. They had a better approach back then. Yeah, they did. Right? Yeah, I think so.

Like, look, he's nine. What are we going to do? Where is now they're like, we should gas him. We should gas the bulls. He's a bad guy. Kill him. Yeah, I have. Well, I think we just smashed his head with a shovel, yeah?

Publicly. He's a witch. He's a witch. He's a shovel, yeah? And publicly. He's a witch. He's a witch. He's a witch. He's a witch boy. Shoplifting witches. And more China. Now we gotta witch with a gun.

Look out. More China news. I don't love it. So I tried to like keep going. Borrowing habits in China. Oh dear. How a person may see his own goods on a neighbor's table. Chinese butlers have a way.

Nope. I like how the last story was like, they've got fire gods and they want a bird and kids. They come devil when they're above ground tombs. Now they're like, and the butler. Yeah, yeah. Chinese butlers have a way when their own supplies fall short of borrowing from the neighbors.

Sure. At least this was a very common custom 25 years ago and goods changed hands over the garden wall with astonishing, can't read that. The butlers mean time keeping a strict account. Okay, so they buy all shit from 74 25 years ago, I like this

74 now 189 out of camp arch it come on So but their culture's changed, you know what I'm saying? An American lady residing in China writes thus in the Atlantic at the first large dinner party to which I was invited I went as a bride I I What are you going to the party? Just gonna wear a regular dress. I think I'm gonna wear my bridal gown Did I tell you I'm an alcoholic?

You'll see. Oh, don't worry worry you're gonna be in my gym dream. I found myself eating with my own brand new knives forks and spoons. Hello everyone! I stared at them very hard. There could be no mistake for I could see the fresh monograms. What? So she can do a party in a wedding gown and then stared really hard at her new, who's RF? I was dreadfully distressed but did not dare to say anything When I reached home I told my husband rather tremblingly hey, hun Why did you worry wedding dress to a party? Take all those corpse with you You okay For I was quite sure they had been stolen what had been the the

You grew in a mustache. I just did this. It's not I'll be all right. What are you doing? You're doing a shadow stash. Yeah, what a nightmare man That is the creepiest facial hair possible new coast over here Ryan's good luck He's a white van by the way, do you? Yeah, love it. Yeah, Jesus. He makes a bad call Do you? Yeah. Love it. Jesus, he makes a bad call. Wow.

You ever listen to my pocket? A lot of bad things. I've had you on. It was supposed to be a second time, but someone was a little preoccupied with his life. All January, you go ahead, Jay. Look, seriously. Hey man, I show you. Post seems like things are bad.

When you get back in that studio, let me know. I'm ready to roll a rom-ruby. I got a me know I'm ready to roll around right I got a special I'm ready to roll I'm on a walker I'm on a walker we can pocket a room we'll do it to my amazement he only laughed and said oh you will get used to that soon and when you have too many guests you will find that instead of asking you to get more supplies the butler will just borrow your neighbors and always make up the deficiency I didn't realize we were still in the butler store we're literally talking about

how butler's barrow shit from each other this isn't a story but the woman the the Chinese butler borrows from others but the woman in the wedding dress is part of the butler store she was at the house and she noticed that her her own Stuff is there. Oh, she's like, oh, that's the mind stuff isn't someone else's house And he's like yeah Chinese butlers borrow in case they have you have dinner party like we need more spoons or whatever Oh my god, and this is a story okay And the story by the way is an American woman showing up to a party in a wedding dress I mean that's the bet is clearly the thing that we should really be focusing on.

These Chinese people at very strange costum. Imagine saying that in a wedding dress. Yeah. I don't really know if the Chinese are of right mind. Oh, look, I got a bunch of Frank's red hot on my wedding dress. Frank's red hot. Good since 1899. I put that shit on everything

You guys don't get a Frank's red hot sponsor out of that I'll tell you man You need to be working in every clip that and tag the shit out of all man those witches with the TV I'll put that shit on everything reminds me a lot of Frank's red hot TV, they put that shit on everything. Reminds me a lot of Frank's red hat. Cause I do put that shit on it. That's delicious. I can remember once when my husband had asked eight guests to dinner only half an hour before the usual time that they appeared later as splended roast of leg of mutton

as one of our courses. Now I know we had no mutton. Or the butler, could I borrow some cooked mutton as one of our courses now. I know we had no mutton or the butler could I borrow some a cooked mutton For earlier in the day the cook had Beweiled the non-arival of the Shanghai steamer by which it always came Turning to the gentleman on my left. I asked did your steamer come from Shanghai today? running to the gentleman on my left, I asked, did your steamer come from Shanghai today? Yes, why?

I looked down to the other end of the room where my husband was carving the unexpected treasure trove with very evident enjoyment. Well, ours did not, said I, and yet he caught sight of the mutton. Oh, he laughed. I suppose that is mine. No doubt yours will come tomorrow, and probably be much better.

This is like, I mean, we were talking about anecdotal mutton tech. Yeah, butler talk here. Yeah, butler talk here. This is really some crazy butler mutton. These are butler guys with their butt. Did your steam ship come in with mutton? No, you're right.

The seas were just rampant with mutton vessels. What are you guys shipping? Mutton, what about you? Well mutton as well, but we're steamer blues, so we're gonna have to stay out here. So me and the boys, we're gonna cook a little ocean mutton, and then we'll probably get there tomorrow. Hopefully, I know people are depending on the only dish we have here mutton but but come on come on over we're cutting

mutton but let's do this all right one last one yeah uh... oh god is this a bad last one? I mean, it's short.

Okay. That sometimes is good. Clocks allowed hands and faces. Oh. And Smitter Lynn, they're making clocks, which do not need hands and faces. What time is it? Nothing.

The clock merely stands in the hall, and you press a button in its stomach. I don't think this guy knows what a clock is. Yeah, no. That's your clock, Lera. Ow. And the clock goes, woohoo. Yeah. When by means on the phonographic internal arrangements,

it calls out half past six or 23 minutes to 11 as the case may be. Wow. It's first digital clock. It sounds like it, yeah, right. It sounds like a... Or it's just a guy. It sounds like a or it's just a guy. It could be a guy with like a pocket watch. It could be.

715. My wife's concerned about me. Shut up. Have you met my clock Frank? Push him. 430. He stopped checking a while ago. We've been late for several appointments.

All right, let's do one more, because that one wasn't good. He thinks he is divine. Pittsburgh has a new Messiah. There we go. I mean, yeah, of course it does. Frank Raghur. Raghur. Raghur.

Raghur. Raghur. Rapist. He calls himself a... Only twice. Raghur. He calls himself the son of God and carries through the streets a rudely painted banner mounted by a red cross. So that's how he walks around.

As you can see, it's a really great picture of him with what looks to be a pan. He is Louis Musser, a German from Stetten, who has been in this country 11 years. Oh, it's my dad. Musser is a little brown bearded, long haired man of 40, wears artics and a red flannel undershirt. Hello. He rings crowds on the streets, threatening them with tradition if they do not believe on him.

Believe on me, yes? Come on. Artists are probably like the new balance back then. And you know, he's out there with his fucking... Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It's not a good, like they don't... It's pretty good. I mean, I guess it's okay. I don't even know what this story is, but this guy kicks ass. Uh-huh. Great stashes from all these fucking guys. Look at that guy. That's the new Messiah.

What's that guy's... That's John Chase. He sounds like... He owns all the other banks. He's a bank guy, yeah. He's a socialist. Oh, whoa. Socialist mayor of Haver Hill, Massachusetts. Oh, hey, we're Hill

Yeah, how about that? Well, there you go. He wants a minimum wage $2 They were so ridiculous back then Now we could have 10 year olds work in our fast food restaurants just like my god intended Ryan do you want to guess the minimum wage amount back then yeah if it's seven dollars I'm gonna run through it's a minimum wage it's for an eight-hour day an eight-hour day a minimum wage in 1899 I mean it's it is a dollar I was gonna say 86 cents. It's $2. Dang it! That is more enough. That is fucking unbelievable. So wait, what is it now?

It's, I mean, $7. I'm like sliding scale. An hour, so it would be, yeah. I'm gonna just horrify. It's what? It's actually $45. I thought we were in a $20. No.

That's it, everyone. Even that you're telling me this thing's only come up five bucks. That's what, that is fucking $123. That's $8. That's it everyone that's telling me this thing's only come up five bucks Hundred twenty three hours. That's eight hours. Oh, that's an hour okay You're saying hour okay a little bit more but not much El now when eight hour workday people are like boy imagine that eight hours that is fucking crazy $2 in 1899. Yeah, but plus they just cover my medical.

It's my medical. But it's bad. Most times they just find out I got witches and Matisse. And you can the dentist back then. The Union Health Plan is not good. I carry Burma. I don't need I. Got some black tartar in the back there with some gender ginger virus work of witches. Do you want the vision plan?

Thank you, it's a hard-fucking yeah Ryan thank you for joining us. Thank you great new special. Yeah, great new special lefty son Thank you both very available on YouTubeailable on YouTube, hot website. You didn't fucking great, yeah. Hot website. Thank you. We're at where of the age where all white guys get to put their special up for free.

Yeah, that's right. That's where I'm at. Funded by me, directed by me, produced. I love it, it's out there. Billy Wayne Davis also put his up recently. Yeah. It's a good one. I mean, look, if we all can keep putting them up there and funding them and then you can go do another one and keep doing it. It's out there really Wayne Davis also put his up recently. Yeah, it's a good now I mean look if we all can keep putting them up there and funding them and then you can go do another one and keep doing

Yeah, yeah, that is a come see us live come watch us work on these specials and then you'll see it for What's your website for dates? Just go to Ryan's sickler.com for dates I'm Ryan sickle and all social media subscribe to the honey do watch my special after son all of it's free Yeah, and you're back with a new jua to be energy for life yeah yeah yeah wait a fucking go live and it comes even on the live and alive tour live and alive live that's my tour yeah that's so weird mine's called dead and just dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead dead I'm dead I'm dead. Dad's dead, I'm dead inside. That's the name of the... Ha ha ha ha ha. Dead inside like dead. The new day of Anthony's special.

All right, thank you Ryan. Thank you. Appreciate it. Fuck you Dave. Wow. This was a lot of fun, thank you. I hate the rush hour. I hate the rush hour.

Some of these days, you'll miss me honey. Some of these days. You'll miss me honey. Some of these days.