The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 378 - The Sydney Cove Shipwreck - (Live w Nick Cody)

Episode Date: May 22, 2019

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Aussie loose unit Nick Cody to examine the Sydney Cove ShipwreckTOUR DATESSOURCESREDBUBBLE MERCH

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I mean we've both been very, huh? Would you say? You said so beautiful. No, no, no. Congratulations on everything. Thank you. Looks like your country's going great. Like ours. It's a fun business model. You guys have seen what we did, right? Yeah. So don't do that. It seems like you're following us. Well what's great is that your country starts with an A2 so you can also MAGA and that's fun. You can MAGA. You can MAGA and it is fun when you're made MAGA. Oh my guys, get into a MAGA. It's a high. It's a natural high. It's snorting patriotism and you're just bangin' rails of lovin' it. You're the largest audience we've ever

performed in front of. Oh, wow. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bi-racial American history podcast. Each week, I, beer drinker, baby maker, Los Angeles Dodgers Hater, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. And let me just say there's never been a better time to be a Los Angeles Dodgers Hater. We have a guest this evening. What? Huh? Yeah, you knew. You saw him backstage. Ladies and gentlemen, Nick Cody. Thank you. He's still

Nick Cody. Hey, Mike. All right. I'm good. What that lovely lady yelled out was that he is from Werribee, which is where I grew up, the western suburbs of Melbourne. It wasn't Werribee, it was Hopper's Crossing. 3029 represent. All right, then we understand. The fact I got to say that sentence at the Art Center means this place has gone to the fucking dogs. Yeah, I didn't want to say it. It has. I think they get a grant for letting someone from the western suburbs on stage here once a year. Is that, is that a shit place? It's a very shit place. I've met your, some of your family, they seem fine. There's a little bit of drinking that

goes on. Yeah, maybe too much for a dad and son together. There's a fucking loose unit. Yeah, the whole fucking group. Just a heads up, Bernie Aboriginal listeners during this tuning this dollop that I'll be mentioning the names of some deceased Aboriginal people. Fun stop. Yeah, it's always fun to start a comedy show with that. Yeah, we've had a few. Yeah, we've been doing that quite a bit on this run. If there's a German in it, I think we did this one. 1796! Grunge. Grunge was born. Yeah, grunge. Aberdeen. Oh, William Clark left the Scottish Highlands for Calcutta. Okay, okay. Yeah. Bloody noted. He's 27 and

wanted to escape his busy port town. His brother John had gone to Calcutta a couple years before and opened up a merchant business with Robert Campbell. Sure. So on May 1796, they learned there was enormous potential for trade with the penal colony at Port Jackson, New South Wales. That's here. That's Australia. Yeah, it's more the penal colony stuff and trade. I'm worried about ominous. The colony desperately needed goods and supplies. And of course, illicit rum. Illicit rum? Yeah. Is that the brand? Yeah, yeah. Bloody illicit. Rum was not, they didn't want rum here, I believe. Really? Yeah, Nick's like, this is a Queensland mine. Already a

tragedy. Yeah, that's not going well, is it? The Stite of Queensland. Yeah. Yeah, it's really not. It's all that rum. You allowed it in. A fucking high Brisbane so much. You know, there's a way to leave it, but you just got to talk to Pete. You won't out. So the two brothers and Robert Campbell bought a ship. It was captained by Gavin Hamilton, and they renamed it the Sydney Cove. Sure. That's a little kiss ass. Little kiss ass, you're right there. Hamilton, Campbell, John, and William were all Scottish. Okay. Well, quit looking at me. Well, I know what you're gonna do with it. Well, I'm a little excited. November 1796, they had a crew in

cargo, including over a hundred casks of rum, wine, beer, champagne, gin, and brandy. Wow. Yeah. The essentials. And it's just, is it just three of them? On the ship? Yeah. No, they got a whole crew. Okay. Because otherwise... Only William and Hamilton come on the ship. So William was assisted by his quote Bengali man servant. What? It's just what you had back then. Most of the crew were Laskers. The Laskers were recruited from northeast of Bengal. They were paid half of what European sailors were paid. Fair. No notes there. Fair. More fair stuff. Yeah. They went barefoot and wore, quote, loose drawers made of white cotton, a white frock, or

jacket, and turbans. Just better to swim in, you know, if you want to have a dip, it's gonna dry off quickly. Yep. Who wants to wear shoes on a boat? Oh, me. Same here. I'm gonna actually side with Dave on this one. Oh, sorry. I was thinking Jetski. Sorry, guys. That's a lot of rum for a Jetski. I'd like to see this Jetski. A lot of guys Jetski'd over here, though. Yeah. Fuck yeah. The Laskers were the backbone of the British trade. So these guys were just, you know, on all the ships. On November 10th, 1796, the Sydney Cove left for Calcutta, heading to Sydney. Most of the Laskers have not been this far south, so it was very cold for them, which they weren't used to. The ship rounded the

southwest coast of Australia on January 25th and hit, quote, a perfect hurricane. Oh, that's an interesting wave. Is that a movie title? A perfect hurricane to me is like not one. Yeah. A non-hurricane? Yeah. It's perfect. You know, the perfect hurricane is just you laying out on the ship's deck and some sun. Yeah. Perfect. There was already a leak on the boat, and it got worse. Quote, the weather was intensely cold with hard rain, which so frightened the Laskers that they absolutely refused to touch the pumps. So Hamilton forced them to. They bailed water from below for two straight nights during the storm. One man drowned. Not in the ship, he fell over. Oh. I mean, I'm not happy about that still.

But it's better than drowning in the boat. I mean, drown. Yeah, marginally. I'd rather drown off a boat than I just feel so fucking stupid drowning in a boat. And also, whoever filled out this journal didn't have to say that one of them died. You know what I mean? They sort of dobbed their own company in. Nobody's checking the numbers. We made them work out. We didn't pay them. One of them died. Why am I writing this anyway? All the rums intact. Well, that's all we're worried about. Five Laskers were already so weak from the trip and sick that they, quote, dropped down dead at the pumps. Oh my God. So we have six Laskers dead? Six, yeah. They just tossed them overboard. That's what you did. Sure.

The winds pushed the ship towards Tasmania. All right. A lot of enthusiasm for Tasmania in the crowd tonight. By daybreak, the ship was on its side. It's not going bloody well, is it? Yeah. Again, not a perfect hurricane. I'm trying to get to Sydney. I've ended up in Tassie. That's a really shit hurricane. Yeah. What we're looking for is an imperfect one to get us back to sailing. It's ideal. So they're stuck on a sand berm at the very bottom of Van Diemen's land on an uninhabited island that would later be named Preservation Island. A long boat was their only chance to get out, but it was going to take two weeks to repair it. They dug a well. They found brackish water, which they could get by on.

They brought the horses and cows over from the ship. Nice. That's nice. Yep. There's the first horses and cows on Van Diemen's land. Okay. So they were also like, whoa. They're like, fuck. This is crazy. Can we go back on the boat? Hopefully the horses had their shoes on. You know what I mean? It's going to be chilly. The horses had shoes. They were crazy. They just kick them off. Well, we're on vacation. Put them up, boys. Are you smoking? Yeah, we're smoking. So they salvaged what they could off the ship. They had a few days because it was very slowly, slowly, slowly sinking. How much of what they salvaged was alcohol related? Well, yeah. A lot of the rum made it over. That's good,

at least. And then the crew broke open the barrels and started partying. Now, okay. 266. Let's say you land, you just come through a perfect hurricane. You're shipwrecked. You land on an island that you've never heard of. And the first thing you think of instead of like, let's game plan is just like, let's get bloody pissed. Let's do this. Let's get shit faked. Let's have a bloody party. Let's celebrate the perfect hurricane. Woo. Yeah. But on the other hand, like you're on an island in the middle of nowhere and there's booze and a horse. Yeah, but it's not like a sandals resort. So you get fucking drunk and they just ride around on the horse with your bros. The horses are just, oh God. The horse is

like... Is that what you do when you get drunk? Just horseback riding with the boys? All right, guys. Let's take it for a ride. We got this shit. Babe, I'm going to be home later. I'm at the beach at Sunset. We've got a horse here. He doesn't know where he's going. He's an idiot horse. I miss you, babe. It's showing up. It's so weird like that. Hamilton found all this drinking of the rum, quote, very improper. And the rum was the only thing he was going to now make the money since the ship had gone down. So he ordered the booze, moved to an adjacent island that could only be reached by boat. I mean, when you're using earth as a liquor cabinet, you have a fundamental drinking issue. He put on

a different island. He's wearing a badge. I can see it. Well... Also, I love throwing the dead slaves overboard. That's not a problem. But getting drunk on the supplies there, that's... That's a problem. That's improper. Yeah. That's rude. On Sunday, the 26th of February, the long boat was repaired. So Hamilton put it under the command of Chief Mate Hugh Thompson and assisted by William Clark. With them were the ship's carpenter, two British seamen, and 12 laskers. Seventeen people all together in a small boat. Well, I've got a good feeling those numbers aren't going to change. Why are you giggling, hun? No, they're the same in there. It could go up.

No, no, it's a different... Oh. No, you would actually need a lady. Do you know how this is done? Seamen can't just form of a baby. Well, if it's British, it has a better shot. Like you said, it's British seamen. Which is... I mean, I don't want to get into it, but from my studies... No, no, no. Dave, let me give some context, please. Okay. When I've looked at seamen in the lab, there's something different about the look of the British. Now, is the lab your bedroom and is the test tube like a sock? I'm not going to walk you through my equipment, but it is rudimentary, some would say for sure. And the tests are a little archaic.

But at the end of the day, we get results. And that's what people want. And I think if you want to talk about, you know, part of my French, come from anywhere, I'm your guy. I know the answers. Are you ancestry.com? Yes, I am. That's what people think it is. I'm just like... Send you G's and you go, yeah. Oh my God. 4% German. You're Scottish. I've never done... I'm a come-all-yay. Come on, guys. Grow up. Come on, grow up.

We're all grown up enough to laugh at that. We're all adult enough to respect that that was... We're grown-ups. Come on, knock it up. The staff here right now is like, pull the lights. What's happening? So, 17 people in a small boat head for Sydney. They've got a letter requesting the governor send a rescue ship. Williams keeping a journal. He turned 28 the day they set off. So they have a letter requesting... And they're just like holding it. We'll throw it at another boat if we see it. I don't know why.

It's just... Everything's super formal back then. If they showed up and they're like, hey, can we have help? It's me. Well, that just gives the Scottish people another reason to drink to put a message in a bottle. They're just like, we've got to finish this one. We've got to send it off. It's just technically work, isn't it? So they had a little bit of rice but would need to replenish provisions and water along the way. They sailed two days north, reached the Victorian coastline, right as a massive storm hit.

Was it a perfect one? Yeah. It wasn't perfect. Just very large. They took on water, the boat went down. Good thing they have that letter, though. They still have the letter. They swam to the beach and left all their belongings. This was 90-mile beach in Northeast Victoria. Yeah, it's a good one, 90 miles or so. Some stuff washed up on shore, including two bags of rice. They were 700 kilometres from Sydney and they would have to walk.

No, they don't. If I could just enjoy the beach, mate. How many signs do you need that you just meant to have a party at the beach? Yeah. You had not meant to get to Sydney. Yeah. No, I agree. Stop pushing it. They had one gun, two pistols, and two small swords.

Good. That's definitely the size you want to be bringing for safety. Yeah. No, not the big ones. They're cumbersome. The little guys. Yeah, cuties. Yeah. Little swords. So they're amazingly unprepared for this situation. William Thompson and the British guy had caps or hats. Their shoes were goat skin straits, which were made in India and were sleek, thin skinned, and would last about a week in the bush. So they had disposable shoes.

Basically, yeah. They basically had the kind of slippers you put on for a crime scene. Right. So the last girls, of course, are barefoot. They had access tools, cooking pots, water containers, and calico, which is a kind of cloth, I think, right, heavy cloth. Good to know. Yeah. Well, this turns everything around. Yeah.

Is one of them a gov by any chance? A magic cloth? No, they had a calico cat. I'm sorry. I didn't say that. Well, they're going to be fine. Mischievous little buggers. So it's relatively warm, so that's not a problem. William's manservant was there, but he never mentioned it by name in his journal. He just called him manservant in his journal? Yeah, my manservant.

That is degrading. He probably just forgot the name three days into the journal, and it's like, fuck, I can't ask again. You know, I'm just going to call him mate. Come up with a nickname. He's just mate forever. Ah, buddy, manservant. You know, buddy, what's going on? Hey, my little money. That's my manservant. I know his name. Come on. How can I forget your name?

My little MS manservant. Good little guy in there. He's just mate. None of the Laskers are named in the journal at all. Weird. Almost nothing about them is recorded. Of course not, Dave. I mean, I'm sure they did nothing. Yeah. On March 15th, 1797, he wrote the first words in his journal.

We begin our journey for Port Jackson. That's it. It's good. He knows how journals work? Yeah, he's a good writer. They soon came to a huge river and had to build a raft to cross it. Not all of them could swim. Their first rafts kept sinking because Australian hardwoods are very dense, so they kept making rafts and then putting it in.

Not really a raft, then, is it? You're just putting a bunch of shit in the river. I'm a fucking airplane sunk as well. It's not doing the job, is it, one? He was trying to make a raft out of rocks. Nope. They finally found some that did not sink and they crossed, and then they walked and came to another river. Good.

And built another raft, and then they'd come to another river. Wait, what did they do with the first raft? They just threw it in to celebrate their success? They weren't going to carry it because they figured they got across the river, so they just left it and walked on. They seemed good at this. Very good travellers. Yeah.

Let's celebrate. Toss the raft! Oh, fuck. So, over and over during this, each raft took a day to build, so it's slow. Fuck. I mean, that's really slow, right? It's not great. Yeah, it's okay. I'm not a raft builder, but I feel like I could do it under a day.

I'm not either, but I could underbid that. Yeah. Shortly after the third one, when they crossed the river, it's like, guys, should we take this with us? No! We've been taking it! We're looking ridiculous! Bloody fools!

Oh, fuck. On the fourth day, 14 Aboriginal men approached them. They were from the Kearney tribe and amazed to see their first Europeans. Okay. They examined their clothes and their bodies, the Europeans did not resist, and they just stood there and let themselves be inspected. And the Aboriginals opened their clothes and examined their feet and their hands and their nails and just kept fucking laughing at them.

They're laughing at those goat shoes. They're like, you will die from these. This is not right. You're like, okay, and they're laughing pretty hard. I don't know what's going on. I can only imagine the Europeans, they've got a bunch of bullshit clothes on, right? They've got flared fucking sleeves. You're the blokes that built four rafts, didn't you?

You know, it's one river, it just goes right anywhere. I don't know. Just kept building them, I guess, thanks. Where was your first raft? We don't want to get into the first raft, yeah. Williams wrote that he thought they, quote, considered our clothes and bodies to be inseparably joined. Okay.

It's just what he assumed, but they were probably like... Yeah, they were probably like, you're going to die from your dumb clothes, but he's like, they think the clothes are a part of us. No, we think they're fucking stupid. I don't understand them, but I think they think we grow clothes. To the journal! We've had a weird second day. Yeah, that'll do it.

William was amazed by the Aboriginal men's appearance, quote, strong and muscular with heads rather large in proportion to their bodies, their hair long and straight, fish bones or kangaroo teeth fastened with gum or glue to the hair of the temples and on the forehead. It's a look. Yeah. It's fucking cool.

Yeah. Is that the original like shark tooth necklace? Yeah. The kangaroo tooth earring. Is that where this is going? This is how the shark tooth necklace got invented? It's what this is all about. Is this the story of the first book?

That would be great. The indigenous blokes are like, guys, too many rafts, all you need, one jet ski. Here we go. And they're just shucking his one. And the Aboriginal guys are like, that's a mullet? Yeah. That's a mullet.

So William wrote they had a rancid fish oil on their hair and bodies, and he went straight for the classic European superiority. Quote, they present the most hideous and disgusting figures that sabbath light life can possibly afford. That's it. So they moved on. They were like, all right, see ya.

They kept walking more rivers, more rafts. Days start blurring together. March 29th, they'd walked 200 kilometers. Sydney is still 500 kilometers away. That's 35 rafts. That's a long ways. In northern Victoria, there's some good bakeries around there, so I reckon those boys are about to come

into some fucking sweet snot block any moment. Somehow they missed all those. Idiots. Yeah, they were sticking to the coast, I don't know. They came across another river, which this one they could wait across, and as they were waiting across, an aboriginal man, quote, threatened to dispute their landing. So they calmed the situation down by giving the

aboriginals there, quote, a few strips of cloth. They were in the territory of the toe. They had... The territory of the toe? Okay. It's a tribe. Sure. They'd seen only aboriginal men at this point, but now

toe women and children came out and just started fucking laughing at the white guys. I mean, you're going to give them a complex, and this is a very uneasy position for the white at this point. He's like, we do that. That's our job. We're the gigglers. And I love this, it's turned into a bit of Scottish eye

for the indigenous guy. They're like, hey, here's some coffee. Spruce it up. I feel better. I mean, I've got a nice haircut. I like it. I really do. The gum tooth on the temple thing.

I love. I'm in love with that look. So they're laughing and shouting at him. William was torn between fascination and disgust. He described the women as, quote, wretched objects. Jesus Christ. He's a fucking white guy. How about no more writing?

Yeah, I mean... It's almost like he has to. Oh, Dave, I'm shocked to hear this guy's white the whole time. I was not sure. Oh, yeah. He didn't know allowing women and children to be seen was a sign of friendship by the tribe.

So they have no idea about this stuff. So the next morning they leave. They come to a deep river at Wamboyne. So they built another raft. So they are just every time discarding a raft? Yeah, they're building rafts almost every fucking day. Okay. I've got a way to help their business.

I don't know how. Carry the raft. Carry the raft. No, no. They don't have arms. I'm sorry. No, that was not said. Raises red flags from earlier, for sure.

But okay. Three of the tow came and helped. William quote, for the act was really kind as they knew we had this river to cross and appeared to have followed us purposefully just to lend their assistance. Which is very foreign to the white Europeans at this point. They're like, oh, we would have killed you. It feels like you're just being sweet, but what's the

angle? Hmm. So they were often helped across rivers and shown the way north along traditional paths. Because they were just passing through, they were seen as less of a threat to the tribes who saw them as ghosts of their departed ancestors. Which we've covered.

Which we've covered. Yeah, right. Though one tow man who was in his late teens when the party passed through said his people retreated to the hills, quote, appalled by the horrid color of the newcomers. Finally. That's finally a nice twist. Jesus, they're fucking disgusting to the hills.

Also you're seeing a bunch of Scottish dudes. You're like, Christ, they're bloody see-through. I mean, even today I have that reaction when I see people from Scotland. Oh, yeah. They wanted to laugh so hard, but they thought it was going to be rude. So they just excused themselves over the hill.

Say someone fall down stairs, you're like, oh, that's really bad. I'm just going to go over here for a minute. Is he okay? So the to keep helping them and they're giving them meals of shellfish to try and help them regain their strength. The party's starting to get fatigued. And then after a while, the party starts looking to

Aboriginal people for food and water. And the terrain becomes more difficult. There's high bluffs, sharp rocks, thick brushwood. Their feet are bruised and wounded. But they had goat shoes. They had goat shoes. Yeah. Feels like.

The area became so difficult they crawled for 10 miles. Well, that's a fun run. What's their rush? Just fucking chill out, guys. You know what I mean? It's not an ultramarathon. There's no finish line. Just relax.

They're thinking the other guys are trapped at the island, so they got to get there as fast as possible. Oh, okay. I like your idea, though. I forgot that. And that was only 20 minutes of time. They've been gone weeks. Not even.

You're the guy. They're like, come on. We got to go. You're like, it's fucking great here. Why are we going? Everybody's going to die. Why are we leaving? What are we going for?

This is it, guys. I'm always going to be Nick Cody. I would be the worst help. They find all the rum on you. Nick. I thought it'd be a good idea. So their rice was gone now. They're eating only fish, which is not enough,

especially if you're trying to go 25 kilometers a day. So they start leaning even more on the Aboriginal people for help. William Thompson realized they were being enveloped in cultural practices that totally bewildered them. And the group starts to argue about the best way to deal with the local Aboriginals. And then one day, suddenly, about 50 armed men

confront them. This was the largest group of Aboriginal people they had seen to date. They were the jeer engine. So William wanted to, quote, portray no symptom of fear. So he and Thompson walked over and exchanged some signs and tried to talk.

And, you know, obviously that's a fucking nightmare. Right. And then they handed over some pieces of calico and the Aboriginal guys were like, all right, you can go and give us some shit. They killed the cow. It's a pretty chill gang. Yeah.

It's not bad. So the next morning, the same group of 50 guys show up again. Oh, boy. You've said a precedent. Yeah. That's right. And made, quote, dreadful shoutings and raised their spears.

So William and Thompson picked out the guys they thought were the chiefs, even though there's no chiefs. And they walked over and gave them some stuff. And then they were allowed to keep going again. Mm-hmm. Okay. And then the next day. The exact same thing happened the next morning.

Okay. Yeah. Interesting. So they're just like... When was bullying invented in Scotland? Because that is stock standard. It is a very nice, like, role reversal from all the other stories, though, that the white guys are now just like,

yeah, okay, bloody fuck. We're losing everything. So again, the same 50 group of guys on the beach this time, the Europeans are like, we're going to show some strength. Give them a raft. We've got a bunch of them. They're crap. Take one.

So they get in a group and they're holding clubs, a gun, two pistols, and they're small swords. And it worked. They kind of backed down. They ended up trading some cloth. And in return, they were given a large kangaroo's tail. Perfect for every occasion. They made soup out of it.

Dave, you don't need to tell me what you do with a kangaroo tail. I know what you do. Again, this is how bad they are. They've had spears held at them. Then they pull out a gun and the guys back down and they're like, yeah, that's right. Also have some cloth. Yeah.

And then they'll... It's the point of the gun. They say you don't have to give the cloth. Wow. You've won. You're celebrating. It's a 10. Get yourself a tail.

You got red meat. They made soup. It was the first red meat they'd had since the ship wreck. And they walk on. They reached Walaga Lake on April 11th. William now realized there was a difference between Aboriginal groups. Well, that was easy. Fuck, I'm starting to put shit together.

I think it was the same 50 the whole time. Cheeky bastards. Quote, as far as we could understand, these natives were a different tribe from those we had seen and were at war with them. So the first group who was super friendly... Oh, right. So now these guys know they came through their territory, so they're like, what the fuck?

Right. So then these new ones they met were kinder strangers and gave them what little they had. The who-who. While Bakke invited the party to their camp for the night. Okay. It sounds like the tribe in the middle of the fucking full-on one. Everyone around's having good times.

And then there's just 50 in the middle. Like, guys, go around. We've seen you build rafts. Fucking get another one. Go around this. 50. No, we're going to walk. We're going to walk.

We're crawling now. It's going pretty badly. But basically there's just different countries that they have to fucking move through, right? Right. So women and children came out again. They were inspected, fucking laughed at. Everybody had a good time. At this point they're just getting used to it, though.

Put your arms up. They're going to giggle. Okay. They point and laugh at this point. They don't know what it is. I believe they think we grow clothes. Personally. So this time they have a fire.

They are all, you know, miming stories. And William and Thompson mimed the drearyon man picking up and shouting raised spears and rude behavior. And the fucking wallbanging loved it. They're like, this is fucking crazy. Oh, man. That's got to be a tense moment, though. You're like, I don't know how this room's going to go.

And then you're killing. You're like, all right. Yeah. I was like, what the fuck? It was nuts. Do the closer. Let's end on a high note. So the wallbanging gave him even more shellfish and appreciation.

I've been paid in that. Now, again, they're maybe 400 kilometers away. So now news of British settlement at Sydney has traveled along the coast. But this is the first time these people have seen Europeans, but they've heard about what happened up there. Not great. And if you guys know what you did, spoiler alert, mind if you're going to read more of that.

Plug your ears. You don't know how this goes. So William Clark had now explored more of New Holland than any European before him. He was beginning to appreciate the intricate web of Aboriginal countries, each with its own language, system of law, song lines, and cultural protocols. And they moved on each day. The next five days they walked, they were fed and assisted by a wallbanging man, and they crossed three large rivers and canoes.

And the Aboriginals would just sit there and watch them try to cross and laugh. That makes it so much harder when you're being watched. Like, come on, Ro, let's get this right. Everybody giggling again. Every time a European guy would get in a canoe and push off, he would capsize. Of course. The Aboriginal dudes would just laugh. And then they'd put three or four guys in one and just paddle around.

Just like circling them. I worked at a U.S. summer camp, and that's what happened to me. They put me in charge of kayaking and archery because I was from Australia. For fucking Melbourne, there's more people where I live than the entire state of Oregon. They're like, teach him kayaking, and I flipped immediately. And the children did laugh. Sandeal. Hey, take the long spears sort of arrow.

Yeah, the arrow. I know what it's called. I'm in charge here. All right. Put it in the rubber band thing that's got the... Bow! Sorry, bow. From your...

Holding satchel. Shit. Purse? Yeah, sure. Yes, yes, yep. You work with me now. So William watched in Paris as his men kept falling in the water. Finally, Aboriginal men helped them across.

After they were tired of laughing. Our sides! We're going to die. This is rich. Foolish idiots. You can actually walk it. You don't even need a canoe. You're on our new camera show.

But the party is starting to fall apart at... Starting. Was it ever together? At Morulia River, nine of the Laskers could not walk anymore. And William and Thompson didn't want to leave them, but each day they lost... Each day they lost decreased their chances of reaching Sydney. So the slower people are going, the less chance they have of getting there. William hoped they would catch up in a day or two, but he really knew that they were saying goodbye for good.

They were probably saying like, fuck you for good, really. They leave nine of the Laskers. The Laskers who were still capable of walking did not want to leave them, their friends, but they moved on. The next day, they found an old canoe on the bank of a deep river. And when Thompson got in, the canoe sunk under him. He could not swim. Well, that's going to be a problematic from what I've learned. Yeah.

William quote, this was witnessed by four Bengals who, though they were adept at swimming, stood unmoved spectators. The nerve after all that they'd done for them. Come on, give me my hand, fuckin' man servant. That is not my name. If you say my name, I'll help you. Say my name, bitch. What is it? No, no, no. A way off.

Farewell. Man servant. Get underwater. I like you. I instantly jumped in and flew to his relief, although very much fatigued and very cold. I seized him by the hair and drew him to the shore, motionless. You're not a huge hero if you just grab hair and drag someone. I've saved you.

He's dead. He is dead. I mean, he's motionless. He's... All right, keep going. Having a little fun with the fellow all of a sudden he passes in. So he pulls him by his hair, which they now say is how you're supposed to do it. Yeah, right.

Yeah, lifeguard training. Yeah. Get him by the hair. Yeah, or beard. Grab him by the bit that can come out. Yeah. That's always good. Get him out of your water.

Yeah. I mean, drew him to the shore, motionless, placed him over a rock with his head downwards, and pressing him at the same time on the back, by which means he discharged much seawater by the mouth and in a little time recovered. He burped him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Come on, mate. You're all right, buddy. Somebody can't fucking swim, can they, buddy? So William was furious that the Laskers had not helped, but the Laskers were angry that William and Thompson had left nine of their fellow countrymen in the middle of nowhere to die. Oh, get over it. I mean, talk about holding a grudge forever.

It was yesterday. So now Thompson has almost died. He's super weak and slowing down the party. They made it just 13 kilometers the next day. It's funny how they didn't leave him to die. They just went slower. It's weird. You think there was any rationale?

I think he's a white guy. I thought that felt bad after the first guys. Yeah, they learned. Yeah, that's gotta be what it is. Yeah. Yeah. It's definitely not that he's white. No, it's not a skin thing.

It never is. So originally fearful of meeting Aboriginal people, the party is now actively looking for them. Come laugh. We're being dumb. Come on. I'll tell that spear story. Remember how great that was? William is now complaining in his journal that they had, quote,

walked 10 or 12 miles each day without meeting any natives and being holy without any nourishment almost perished for want. Well, at least he went to the one place that can change things. His little journal. Dear dream diary, I'm just furious again. It's like the first blog. I can actually do something or just write down that I'm sad. That'll help.

So two more Laskers dropped behind. At 9 a.m. on April 26th, the party reached Wreck Bay. Sounds like where they were meant to be from the beginning. Oh, God, we're back where we started. Oh, bloody hell. Perfect. Yeah, it's just for us. Wreck Bay.

So this is the country of the Owandandian. They saw several Aboriginal men on the top of a high bluff. They seemed friendly. William and his group signaled they were hungry. And they were brought down some fish. Okay. Right? Right.

Like sea lions. But as they walked on. Chum them. Chum the waters for them. How the fuck are ruder they as guests? They're at the water. And they make someone come down from a bluff to give them fish. You guys want to know something interesting.

That whole thing behind you is full of fish. It's like it's the first time I've heard of white people. I know you're way up there, but I'm hungry. I'm down here starving. Help, I'm white. Bring me food. Please. I'm superior.

No? Nothing. So they walk on. They were suddenly confronted by a hundred Aboriginals, shouting and howling in a most hideous manner. So they're seriously outnumbered. We were only six opposed to a multitude and only had one musket unloaded and two pistols out of repair.

Well, at least they have those tiny swords though. Those will be effective. I love that they're carrying broken weapons with them, but not the servants that have helped them. They've left them behind. They're priorities. Yeah, these broken guns. They might be worth something at some point.

No, not human life. And then an unloaded musket. I'm hoping that they didn't have a musket ball and just kept it unloaded. It's just all a bad idea. So some Aboriginal men started throwing spears and William raised up his arms pleading with them to stop. He was speared, quote, through both hands.

Wow, that's how you stop begging. Now what? Well, it's like he put up targets. I mean, quite a shot, too, to go through and get Jesus while your hands are waving. That's pretty effective. Oh, my feet! How did they...

One spear, two feet to the journal. I have been Jesus to... Sorry if my handwriting's off. My hands have spears in them. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch. Talk tomorrow, William. Maybe.

His manservant and Thompson were also wounded. This poor manservant. William was forced to pull the spears out. How? With what? His teeth? He speared him? How do you pull them out with me? He just de-spear with a spear for my next trick. The spearheads broke the bones in both of his hands. Oh, shocking.

They were now at the mercy of the Aboriginal men and thought they were dead. But then the Aboriginal men just walked away and disappeared into the bush. They're like, no, we did what needed to do. We took care of business. We ruined his hands. That'll play. The party walked on wounded in considerable pain

for eight miles when they were then confronted by the exact same group. Don't put your hands up. Learn from me. They hate hands. Oh, I have a question. A foolish man, servant. William was convinced they were going to be killed,

but they had not killed them earlier. So that's on the positive side. Sure. You got to fill the glass halfway at this point. It turns out the superficial wounds were probably inflicted as ritual markings for William's party unlawful activities in their country. Oh, well, they should have just said that at the beginning. Pay the piper.

They were getting closer to Sydney, which meant they were entering territories of Aboriginal people who would receive news of the deaths of so many of the Eora people at Port Jackson at the hands of the British. But they did not throw spears this time. This time, they took them to their camp. So they were taken to the Wandendian's camp

and forced to spend the night. William and Thompson did not sleep. I wonder why. I love forced to spend the night. What were their other options? Well, we booked the hotel, but these guys have invited us. I don't want to be rude.

Plus, my hands are leaking. I've got inbuilt chopsticks. At this point, it's sort of, you know, six on this hand, you know, no other hand. You know what I mean? Like the expression goes. So they couldn't sleep because of their wounds and because they were scared shitless. They discussed if this would be their end.

But the next morning, they were allowed to just leave. They were followed a bit, but by 9 a.m., they were left on their own. Okay. It's a weird vibe. You're just like, okay. Tata, friends? Ish, question mark. This was great.

You should force us to do this again. I was just so rested. Bloody, real great. Unbelievable. My hands are in a lot of pain. I'm not going to lie about that. Their wounds of fatigue seriously reduced their progress.

William had been recording their progress and he knew they were close to Cygni. He figured two more weeks at this pace. Oh, that was fun. So they're starving. They plants and drank brackish water, which worsened their health. But they staggered on and reached the Shulhaven river

on the 30th of April. Six friendly Aboriginal men came and helped them across in canoes. So now it's just William, his manservant, Thompson, a British seaman and the carpenter. Okay. Thompson's a mess from almost drowning

in all the spare wounds. The carpenter is just a dick. Well, he's like, why'd you bring me? We've only built like five terrible rafts. What do you need out of me? He started becoming furious at the Aboriginals when they didn't give him the amount of food he wanted.

Well, that's not the right attitude. Yeah. They were only able to make it a few kilometers a day. The effort to go on became harder and harder and then delirium came. They all attempted to just stop and sit down. William started writing less and less because of the holes in his hands.

Yeah, I was going to say. Why are you doing it? I'm just not creatively inspired like I was. I knew I'd be bad at Tough Mudder. That'd be a great addition to Tough Mudding. It starts with the perfect hurricane. Sorry, what did I sign up for? But they went on like this for 15 more days.

Fuck. William's journal entries became almost uninterested in what was happening. Quote, much the same. Yeah, much the same. As he's got like a pencil in his toe. Like, much. The blood they see him.

The blood they see him. They walked only 100 kilometers in two weeks. It was now getting cold at night. Which was made worse by the lack of fat on their bodies. One day they stumbled across a beach that was littered with coal. Clean coal or the old kind? What? Clean coal or like the shitty kind?

No, the old bad kind. Not the great kind of coal. The great coal. So they lit a huge fire and warmed up. They became more irritated by each other. The carpenter was quote, churlish and adversarious and without sense of foresight.

Often seized with aboriginal, often seized aboriginal people's fitch. Yet gave them nothing in return. That's probably going to come back to bite you, that policy. Many times the carpenter's selfish behavior deeply offended aboriginal people and put all their lives at risk. But who's going to build the sauna?

Right, so. Up until now, William and Thompson have been able to keep the ass-holishness of the carpenter in check. But that was over because they didn't have the strength anymore. You don't have the strength to call a guy an asshole anymore? They can't call him an asshole.

They can't stop and pull him away. So they're now in they're at what now is Royal National Park. Thompson stopped and said that's it. He couldn't walk anymore. Three or four days out. So William agreed to leave

and send help from Sydney. And then the carpenter was like, I'll stay, quote, and keep him company. He's getting eaten. Thompson is totally getting eaten. No, if this is a cartoon, the carpenter looks at him and Thompson turns into a big fucking drumstick.

He's like, no, I'll stay with him. And I could build a little barbecue pit and cook him up real nice. Once he's done flipping I'm going to wrap size him as we say in the burger business. It pained for William to leave Thompson behind. He did not trust the carpenter,

but he also did not want Thompson to be alone. So they left the two men. It's now just William, an unnamed man servant. This dude. I'm sorry, I've just got to ask, what's your name? We've gone through too much at this point. There's three of us. Who are you?

This is going to sound really weird, but my name is actually man servant. Oh my bloody god. You've given me quite a complex this whole journey. You know that. I'm going back to tell Thompson I was right. You have food? No. His bloody name is man servant.

Can you believe that? Can you believe that? In the bloody odds. Anyway, have fun and death. And then a seaman named John Bennett is the other guys. There's three guys. So weak they can only crawl.

Jesus. Which is tough when you've got spear fist. Yeah. It's not ideal crawling hand system. Crawling in sand. So you're pushing down and sand is coming through your hand holes and you're just

falling in. As you just see dirt going through, that's probably not good. But when you look at the tracks, you're like, I know who that is. John was here. As opposed to an old font. Jesus, how come in my toughest times

there was only one set of hand hole prints in the sand? That's when I was dying, my son. Yeah. I was helping a guy not get eaten by a carpenter. Very Jesus. I speak carpenter, so. Yeah.

I'm going to call him. So then William saw a fishing boat and used all of his energy to wave. Used all of his energy to wave. And I bet you it did. That was part of the thing. It was like one of those

things. What the hell is that noise? Woo. Woo. There's some sort of hand whistler over on the beach. I think through a spear, through his hand. No.

No, not this time. I've got him. So finally someone on the boat saw them and the boat came in. Their long walk was over. On May 17, 1797, Sydney, quote, scarcely alive,

17 men had started, 14 were left on the trail, and they had no idea what would become of Hamilton and the rest of the ship's crew. At Sydney, they saw something that was totally alien and just looked weird than the rest of Australia, a makeshift English village,

fenced in allotments, a church cottages, a wood bridge over an already polluted stream. Beautiful. It's gorgeous. It's a canal. Let's fuck this up. I think it's to shit in.

And there's a windmill, because why not? Of course, has to be. They were taken to Government House and met Governor Hunter. This caused a huge commotion in Sydney. Everyone wanted to hear about their journey. They told David Collins, Matthew Flinders, and George Bass.

Everyone was pretty ignorant about what was out there. They were amazed the men had walked through hundreds of miles of Aboriginal countries. Hunter set a fisherman to search for Thompson in the carpenter and he came back and said, quote, nothing could be discovered of those helpless people except a few trifling things

they had with them, part of which being covered in blood gave us reason to suppose they had been destroyed by the natives. Well, good detective work. Where they were was a bunch of blood. Now, here's our theory. They're dead.

From a lack of blood. Show your workings. Oh, well, we've got my journal. William T. Collins, they had probably been killed due to the, quote, morose, unfeeling disposition of the carpenter. That's what killed them, was the carpenter's lame attitude.

Not no food. Who thought because the Aboriginals were black fellows, it was his right to take their food away by force. But that makes more sense. So they're just like, oh, hi, how you doing, buddy? He's like, please feed us. No, you die.

William believed the carpenter's arrogance had cost Thompson his life. I think Thompson cost Thompson his life. Seems like a weak link. Yeah. Well, he couldn't swim, so... Yeah, but he couldn't stay afloat. Who gets on a boat can't swim.

If you're going to get a boat, learn to fucking swim. Well, I mean, I guess, but still, if you watch a man in a canoe sink and then he gets to get dragged out by his hair, I don't think he's going to make it far. All right. But William now had a deep respect for Aboriginal people and blamed...

He blamed carpenter, his own man. I just like to throw out there the carpenter ate Thompson. There's no way he didn't fucking eat Thompson. Wait, his name's not carpenter. Well, the carpenter. One of the odds. The carpenter was a man-servant.

His name was carpenter. No wonder he didn't build a fucking thing. He was looking at his whole puzzle the whole time. You know, it would be great to be a lovely boat. Yeah, I agree. A boat would be unbelievable. Oh, kidokey carpenter. What the fuck did we hire him for? No, no, no. Can you believe that?

Shit-traveller and terrible boat builder? No. And next to dead man? Should have seen that guy coming. A Scottish minister, Thomas Palmer, had long been upset that Governor Hunter wouldn't explore the nearby land. Palmer used William's journey to push that they should be exploring,

quote, in all the intercourse of whites with the uncrupted natives of this country, they have found them most kind, humane, and generous. No civilized Europeans could exceed them in kindness. So he hears about what they just went through, and he's like, this is what we should be doing.

Well, he just heard all the stories of how good so many Aboriginal people were toward them, and he's like, they're actually fucking nice. Let's go explore. But he probably didn't hear about the spear hand thing. No, he did. He was like, look, you're going to lose a few hands

on this mission. But overall, almost everyone they met helped them. But Governor Hunter, who's your guy, apparently, jumped on the ugly side of William's story. He did not put him on my side. No, no, sir. And he condemned the, quote,

savage barbaric, barbaric of the natives, whatever, that's a fuck up. So he said it was all the fault of the Aboriginal people that the 12 men had died. He had zero evidence to make the claim. William's story became an allegory for whatever a colonist wanted to be.

No one knows what happened to the Laskers who were left behind, but based on what we know, they certainly joined an Aboriginal tribe and lived with them. In Sydney, the word of rum being nearby

was a big fucking deal. That's what they take from it. I love that whole story. There's booze, yeah? Sorry, did you hear everything we said after? You came here and you said booze. You know, we crawled.

From where? Which is booze. You crawled from booze. How many times have I crawled from booze? It's like Friday night, Saturday night, Tuesday, Wednesday, Monday. I don't like what this is turning into at all.

Thursday, Friday. Are you self-interventioning? I'm just saying, let's go get the rum. Great story, though. No, it's not a great story. Great story. After William arrived, word spread miles of rum were waiting on an island

hundreds of miles south. That would still play in Sydney now. Especially after 10pm. Fuck him. Easy, Nick. Jesus. Come on. Anything north of here I'll fight. Yeah.

You should have seen this after the show at Byron Bay. I'm sorry, what? Yeah, we're closed. It's 9.15pm. What are you guys after? Beer? Oh, yeah, we don't have that here. There's actually a shipwreck nearby if you guys want to... There's a boat that's open, kind of.

So Governor Hunter's not a big fan of booze, but he knew that this was an issue. He felt he had no choice but to buy the rum until it's distribution. Okay. This is underwater rum, right? No, no, they have it all on the island. They took it off the boat.

Governor Hunter sent two ships down to Preservation Island on May 30th. But they hit a perfect hurricane. They hit a perfect, a perfect, a perfect hurricane. Seaman John Bennett went with them. This was 13 days after William had arrived in Sydney, so they waited 13 days

to send two rescue ships. We're gonna get into this. Let's get that rum. I was just trying to plan the party. Yeah. Well, we gotta get tables. What are we gonna do? Let's go big. I say we really celebrate with this shit. Hey, tacos.

Fuck you. Not in this country? No. No? No. Taco bar. Oh. Let's get the rum and see. Let's drink and do some thinking. You want to build rafts? I've built hapes of rafts. We'll put them in the polluted river.

Yeah. So, things have not gone great for the shipwrecked men on the island. When rescue boats left Sydney, Hamilton had been waiting four months. Another hurricane had hit. The tents were in tatters.

Every last girl was sick and dying one by one. Their bodies were swelling, especially their feet, probably from scurvy. Probably from rum. Within a few weeks, they had only, quote, one teacup of rice

per diem for each man. I mean, if you're calling rice per diem, it's bad. It depends on the rice. Oh, no. So, they started looking for other food sources and found wallabies, wombats, fish,

snake, frog, geese, quail, ducks, lichen. So, they're just fucking eating like crazy. And then came the birds. Every September, 18 million birds descend on Tasmania to lay eggs.

Oh. So, they went fucking eat crazy. Like, they're just fucking punching them on the head and like, just kicking them. Like, they're just birds and eggs everywhere. It's like bird schoolies. Yeah.

Hamilton knew the birds were migrating, so they would leave at some point. So, he had as many birds killed as they possibly could kill. Jesus, Dave. And then they smoked them and started them. Okay. Hold it in, you'll get higher. Man, I'm fucking hungry

after smoking all that bird. Wish we had some food around here. I actually got bird. Oh, no, I smoked it, man. Oh, eat now. What just happened? Soon, they had a decent supply of meat, but they were waiting so long,

Hamilton began to think no one was coming. On June 8th, rescue ships arrived and went right past them. Good. Are those technically rescue ships? Those are just ships, I think, right? Hamilton built a massive fire.

Two days later, the ships came back and stopped. They loaded as much of the cargo onto the rescue ships as they could. Rum first, then the men. Governor Hunter had sent six men, probably convicts, to stay with any cargo that could not be loaded.

So, he was like, you guys, watch the rum. Yeah. Rum watchers. Hamilton took one look at the men and passed, saying they were, quote, very improper to be left in charge of spirits. Yeah. He had six Nick Coates and he's like, no.

Come on, what? Yeah, we will watch all the rum. We'll keep a solid eye on your, uh, fucking rum. We sent a bunch of guys that stole shit to watch your shit. Good luck. And they have drinking problems. We'll be back in a fortnight.

You're not going to believe this. All the rum fell and all the bottles broke and we didn't know what to do about it. So, uh, yeah, didn't drink it. What? What? You think we drank it, didn't you? Yeah.

Well, we did. Yeah. You guys are very improper liking drinking and all. I'm going to go back with my proper friends. The one kicking birds over there. It's my best friend over there. All right, kill the birds. Eat the eggs. Eating raw eggs.

Rocking the island. Jesus. So, yeah. I think I've ever connected with a human being than whoever that is. Come on the rest of the tour, whoever you are. You are just dynamite. All right, now you got to go.

I feel like it might be one of those cans you buy in a store. I could turn over. It's just Satan in the back. I didn't hear the podcast. What was it? I can hear for souls. So, Hamilton asked five of the

fittest Lascars to remain behind with the goods and John Bennett. So, the fucking dude who had already walked 700 kilometers 700 kilometers it was only one of three guys survive he's like you should stay with the ship no I hate the ship no no you're good no I hate the ship you're tough I hate all ships don't touch me I can't be touched perfect and they sailed

off they left Bennett once again sure I'll stay the rescue ships then hit a violent storm and we're separated they've got rum meat a beach friends where the fuck are they going what are you doing stop trying so hard you've nailed it they're gonna go all the way back ago and then have a party you could just have the party and not do the other shit in the middle with more eggs yeah every fucking year a bunch of birds show up that you can cook like it's perfect so annoying so one ship arrived in Sydney on July 3rd Hamilton was on that one he quote immediately

landed the goods and deposited them in his majesty's store then waited for the other ship to arrive and waited and waited two weeks later Sydney was hit by a storm that flattened trees in chimneys the other ship never arrived on board were seven or eight last cars who had been rescued now the 50 people who had left Calcutta on the Sydney Cove more than half were dead after recovering for three months in Sydney William went to look at the area he left Thompson an Aboriginal man met him and led him to what he said were the skeletons of Thompson and the carpenter one had a crushed skull I think I know who that

is he fucking ate him he fucking ate him he definitely ate him fucking ate him right away I mean they probably died they were probably like 30 feet away and we're like yeah do you hear something I said a very Thompson II did that not a little Thompson II must go I heard him say my skull I definitely heard of my skull at the end Governor Hunter concluded they were without a doubt murdered by indigenous people but he ate him come on so way of them collected a bunch of the coal from the beach that he had found remember and he took it back to Calcutta in August several of the surviving last cars were with William on

the ship as well as his man-servant who was like dude just ask dude if we've done all this for some coal I am gonna be fucking pissed off you guys heard of coal it's a hot rock I got a bunch of it so a win couple hundred years Scott Morrison's gonna fuck this in Parliament he's gonna carve a hole in it and fuck it in front of humans so Governor Hunter wrote to England about all the coal they had found in the end William Clark would not be known for his journey or all the indigenous people he had met but his quote discovery of coal how you doing bud how you doing over there feel good one

all around huh he would have trouble holding a pen or any object in his hands for the rest of his life yeah he kept thinking it was gonna go through his palm it was like Governor Hunter was forced to push up the purchase of the rum in September when 14 convicts came up with a plan to escape sailed to the wreck and snatched the rest of the rum they were all Irish I don't think you need to tell us that David they stole a boat and sailed down the coast they made it as far as Wilson's promontory promontory which is basically the at the bottom of Australia yeah by the tip yep they camped on a small island as they

slept seven other convicts stole the boat and left the others behind that is just clicks we're forming yeah cool kid crew so they're basically leaving those guys for dead the ones on the ship made it as far as Hawkesbury but then turn themselves in two were executed for escaping William arrived in Calcutta I don't know what podcasts are I really have come here for a collection of entities that's all I am so William arrives in Calcutta and tells his brother and Campbell all about the supplies that were needed in Sydney and the fucking crew is fired up about getting right back into business yeah of shipping goods

to Australia or New Holland or whatever you call it sure Williams Journal was published in December 1797 and was printed in newspapers around the world his journal was printed in newspapers yeah his journal was a big fucking hit okay do we get the title of it or do we yeah we do okay well no actually so a journalist helped him write it up so he punched it up and he filled it with attacks on Aboriginal people he sensationalized it so it would sell more language of coat quote barbarous hordes and savages was littered throughout the writing was nothing like Williams restrained and descriptive style and

had none of the respect that he had gained of the Aboriginal people but he allowed it though right yeah yeah okay that's culpability no one knows how much was done by the journalist because the original journal is now gone now since there were so few ships available Hamilton had to wait until December to retrieve Bennett and the other men this guy it's just I'm not staying again no you keep leaving me it's a tradition at this point you jerks they'd waited six months this guy yeah Bennett's got the booze with him though yeah yeah fuck he's a wrong yeah yeah yeah yeah he's the smartest one six months about like

three weeks which is you guys are sure oh cool you guys want deviled eggs I've vetted them it's real easy the rum is aboriginals came in second all yeah it's like I was like no I seriously I was like you guys you know wait you're not saying our rum as one guy comes over he goes we're taking your rum I said well you'll be my body but then you know we're an omelet and then the dude yeah check it all I am so gonna catch up though huh I'm so scared of birds they come out of the sky the savage do you want to know if I'm funny if you give a bird rum because shit face right shit I mean and again that's not something I

did is the evil guys you don't come in a barrel and then come out they're like more yeah I do that yeah also okay they're my last curse yeah I don't know their names I don't know my name I don't know what names are anymore when Hamilton family so when Hamilton finally got there he found out one of the last curse are died Hamilton's horse was still alive though they'd fucking left the horse the whole time that's one thing makes me feel good Bennett told more harrowing stories of horrific storms and living on smoked birds you wouldn't believe it this so many storms it's shit you want

fried chicken it's real good it's better than a devil like I don't know again I was just in Scotland that is better than the food there that's basically what the food is well I mean we cook the bird with feathers obviously feathers are the best bloody part you don't want to be wasting your time on the meat boy no you want beak claws feet feathers the goodbacks you bloody Americans waste your time with the meat foolish boy you ever chewed through a bone give our world it's why our teeth are like this we can bite through bone that's right we've evolved we're highly evolved so so it's the only

thing that can defeat us so we call it the rude moon bloody Wankstein so they were all taken to Sydney Bennett in the surviving Laskers after this no one knows what happened about it but we all hope his last words were fuck off just fuck off all the rum was now in Sydney governor hunter bought it the cargo fetched quote enormous prices it was literally the most talked about thing in the colony David Collins complained the money should be used for something like improving farms but I was like no no the seven Irish convicts who have been left on that island by their fellow escapees

stayed there for weeks until explorer George Bass happened to spot them while he was cruising the coast in January 1798 he thought their fires were Aboriginal fires but when he went ashore he saw they were white and quote had some clothing on two of the convicts immediately swam off as soon as he came worried they would be caught and executed we'd rather start quick to the middle of the ocean that's where we'll be safe obviously haven't seen Bondi rescued the fucking Irish did not fare well in the Aussie oceans so Bass gave them some food and said he would stop on his return to Sydney but when he

returned in February he could only fit two of them in his ship oh no the sickest ones he took the other five sickest yeah he took the two sickest and he dropped the other five on the mainland and gave them a compass a musket ammunition fishing gear and some clothes and said they would have to walk to Sydney I'm actually coming down with something pretty terrible myself whoa whoa I can barely stand whoa I'm on death's door oh please hurry take them with you you're fine you got a compass no I can't read my eyes they've gone blind it's actually how tiger airlines get people from Melbourne to Sydney now with less rum

oh gotta pay for the rum bass quote when they parted some tears were shed on both sides they're gonna dehydrate easier not the time for crying you're out of water Campbell arrived in Sydney on June the 10th 1798 with more cargo to sell Hamilton at that point was horribly ill and had been ever since he was rescued from Preservation Island he died a week later at 38 three months later the convicts burnt down the first church because Governor Country had made attending church services mandatory did you just say sorry you just called him Governor Country oh did I yes it's it's it's Australia okay that would be

exactly I'm sure that's what they call them for sure in the paper buddy Governor Country so they they burned down the first church because Governor Hunter had made attending church services mandatory okay assuming that had something to do with all the rum that had just been purchased sure it was reported in the paper that William Clark died in early in 1800 in Calcutta no record of how he died exists his brother John returned to Scotland and died in 1804 a wealthy man all his money kept the extended Clark family financially secure for the rest of their lives none of the five convicts dropped off by George Bass were ever

seen again hmm four years later James Grant's party reported they found human bones at an Aboriginal campsite one man picked up a human skull and then someone decided it was a white man's skull and that it had in that the person had been eaten by aboriginals with not even the slightest bit of evidence did this sounds like making a murderer at this point yeah that's like the amount of evidence they have in that yeah I can tell it's a white man's skull look it's white science not on my watch by the early 1800s Australian settler oral history were full of tales of savagery and cannibalism so it really was just

totally birthed out of just like a journalist punch up and that's bullshit right shocking hundred percent but the hut Hamilton had built on preservation island would become a halfway house for sealers and Aboriginal women they would kidnap as sex slaves for the mainland Rob sorry I'm upset by the little amount of groaning then you think that it gets a more wouldn't you people need to have a fucking groan it was full on are you calling for a regrown rare it's happened once in dollop history we've had a regrown Robert Campbell went on to be one of the colonies most successful

merchants and squatters in in 1947 in true Australian fashion a memorial was erected at Coal Cliff to mark the 150th anniversary of William Clark's discovery of coal I mean really on fucking believable but I mean you may as well build a monument to rum versus coal I mean if you're gonna like really wow you can't send somebody out with that many people that much money that much help that much rum and he comes back with coal and you're like fucking good work man just gonna call I think we know you might don't worry about that I have coal shiny coal magic rock look into the coal nobody died so in 1977 the wreck

was found and designated a historic site in 1997 the descendants of Hamilton gathered on preservation Island to commemorate the wreck William Clark was the first explorer of the coast of Australia from Tasmania up to Sydney not Bass or Flinders but he is known for coal just one person boo yeah it was it's right I've never heard a throwaway boo think of the pay only that's all I do think of yeah Jesus yeah so he gets no credit for all the stuff he did and survived yeah and coal it helps the jobs though I thanks for the economy Hamilton long-term jobs to jobs will be

around forever yeah yeah yeah it's not that long if you keep it when I say forever I mean seven years yeah it'll be around for the next seven and everybody's worried about the Great Barrier Rafe because the Rafe's getting all bleached but it's fucking Queensland everything's bleached up there you know it's just stocks down it the Rafe's just got tips now may we're not dying we're frosted it's science time with Nick Cody today we're making rum again Nick yeah boy this is a this tour has been a lot of white people are shady white people are super shady it's also amazing how like it's like you could

separate groups of white people and they would still independently find shadiness they'd be like we were not taught it it is in us we are white for power we have coal there were all the carpenter it's typical tritey not fucking showing up they're all whiting around Sydney gone where's that carpenter that said he was coming he was a five-hour window so they'll be here at 7 30 p.m. which is not gonna work for what we need so speaking of coal I wanted to talk about something some of you have known I've been talking about this on the tour and some of you are about to be horrified but so I started a group

Gareth and I have it is a group to do something about what's happening the environment it's called plan it change 10 and the reason it's called 10 is because I know if you let you guys know but the IPCC report came out a couple weeks ago interplanetary climate change scientists about 150 got together and they do this every five years and they said we have ten years ten years to change what we're doing or there's gonna be food scarcity there will be no great barrier reef a lot of the stuff that we have now will be gone animals 50% things like that so we have to do something fast quick question which animals I don't

like them all chickens Nick fried chickens fuck they're so delicious beavers are gonna be fine around the kebab he's gone we're gonna lose the kebab if we're not careful not the mixed mate animal yeah no no we're gonna lose the hybrid coon the wild kebab his natural surrounding normally having some piece of steel going through him he sits on a branch very ugly and rose eights rotates slowly under the Sun in his natural habitat oh you guys so much honestly we really appreciate it Nick Cody ladies and gentlemen thank you guys so much really appreciate it