The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 38 - The Past Times with Ehsan Ahmed

Episode Date: August 11, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Ehsan Ahmed, who returns to the Past Times. Redbubble Merch   Door Dash - Promo Code TPT Stitch Fix

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Try Stitch Fix today at stitchfix.com slash TPPT and get 25% off. That Stitch Fix dot com slash TPPT for 25% off. Am's StitchFix.com slash TPP for 25% off. And I suppose the talk during this one? I also wanna thank our sponsor DoorDash. Look, back to school shopping, it's all common and the chaos that happens with it. And you shop door dash, you get everything you need

for the back to school seasons delivered right to your door. Use promo code TPP to get 50% off up to $10 value when you spend $50 or more at convenience, grocery, or retail stores on DoorDash. That's 50% off up to a $10 value when you spend $50 or more. PromoCode TPPT, Terms Apply! Hey, I'm here too. Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes Podcast.

Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Asana Maud, hello Asana. Hey, thanks for having me back. I'm excited. Thanks for coming back. I'm trying to think.

I think you might be our first two-time male performer. Oh, male, yes. And that's because you do porno, right? You do porno? Yes, yes. I'm just neck down though. So you've seen what you haven't seen me. Right, yeah.

Yeah. And we should promote a couple of things. One, your Instagram, which is just your name with the J and it. And your name is spelled E H S A N J A H M E D M A D. Yes. M mother fucker. Um, but that's your Instagram. And then you have a show, you were, you, you, and Austin and you do a show each week

at the comedy mother ship yes seven thirty every wednesday called solid comedy show called solid comedy show but you're a great follow you do these great breaking news things uh... and uh... and you're blowing up and everything's huge and uh... and it's your second time so welcome back and uh... any um...

any brave stances you want to take up top, anything bold? And no brave stances yet. But they'll come as we go. That's, I like that organic. All right, Dave, you got anything important to say? Or you just, I don't have, I'm, no, I'm boring and negative from the waist down. OK, OK, so maybe maybe you guys I don't know

We have some in common. Yeah, we're actually we might film something later It's crazy. Wow. What a crazy. I think I haven't allowed to nicks that but okay All right Dave. So a son. I don't know if the last time you were here We were doing the guesses we guess now as to what year we think it might be I I don't know what he's to pick for you. I have no clue. I'm going to get, and we can start as 1600, and it could go to whenever you think, you know, do the psychotic, so it could go to whenever. I would guess, I'm going to guess just early, just early, I'll go late 1800, I'll go 1886.

Okay, okay, I'm going to go, I'm gonna guess somewhere around, I didn't know we can go back to 1600, but somewhere around, like I don't know. Those ones are not stuff. Yeah, the making of the Constitution, somewhere in the 1780s. Okay, I like that. I gotta say, you were very close, but I switched to the last minute because I'm a little tired

I didn't sleep well last night and that in those old papers the F's are written as S's and I just couldn't deal with it right now. For what, 1780? Yeah, I can start reading as I can, I can I can't so we're doing a May 1st 1921 tree port Louisiana okay this is this is just the times that's all they call it was the times nice well that was before you really needed to carve out a niche too strongly right that's right once you if you livedreveport, you didn't really know about any other place back then. So you just, yeah, right. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Available times and then there are. Page one, this headline is just American Legion. While

the government is marking time in publication of the list of slackers large numbers of guilty dross of areas so it's like the principle from back to the future he's like now got his own he's like finally McFly slackers so listen people not doing anything that's crazy I think we call them influencers now yeah that's right. That's right. Yeah.

Um, the list of slackers, large numbers of guilty draftivators are leaving the country. Wow. According to John Thomas Taylor, vice chairman of the National Legislative Committee of America. So this is your local's Facebook, the paper. Yes, totally, totally. That's right. That's a very, that's a very's very nice thing to call someone who adjured the draft. You know what I mean? Just want to dodge over the one that

they just snuck off. Just the other day Mr. Taylor said an ex-soldier came all the way from Tampa, Florida to Washington for the express and sole purpose of informing the Department of Justice that dozens of these men were beating it to Cuba. Beat what? Drinking off? No, you don't understand what they're taking off. No, no, no, they're going to Cuba.

I've beaten it to Cuba a few times because, oh, what? I'm not allowed. It's what? Castro's beard. I mean, it's gross's what? Castro's beard. I'm a big gross. OK, that's hot. I'm a 1950s vibe. They have a permanent 1950s vibe that I digged.

They do. They do. It's pretty sexy in that way. Yeah. So this guy went and this guy went and snitched on everybody. Yeah, he, because at this time, I guess he got a gone by car. But he went all the way to DC just to go like, yeah, like yet there's guys that are leaving the country that should be fighting and

they're like what okay man what the american leachian is sick and disgusted at the underhanded pussy footing campaign which the disloyal elements of this country of wage against the publication of the slacker lists step by step we have fought them until the last war department was brought to the point of making the list

public oh so they want the list to be they want these guys named in chains they wanted print their i was at this it doesn't make sense that they're beating off the cuba if they're pussy footing around you know what i mean i think that it's the beating up beating off the Cuba if they're pussy footing around. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The beating off. Yeah, this is what it was like what the guy was like reading this story to like younger people in the area. They were like, mm-hmm, he's like, they're pussy footing.

And then they beat it up to Cuba over there. Then at last, the Yellow Strieg began to show signs of fright. We will all use the government and the officials of the war department and the newspapers they threatened. And their bluff worked, at least well enough, to postpone the publication of the list by having the matter referred to the Department of Justice until at least some of them could get out of the country. I'm for the guys getting out of the country. I don't know.

I don't know. Hey, yeah. They hear some guys that are like the country. I don't know. I don't know. I'm shit. Hey, yeah. They hear some guys that are like, I wanna go to Cuba. Oh, yes, enjoy Cuba. It sounds awesome. Right, well, I don't know what we're having in the next two. There's no war.

Right. I say that, but then they'll be like, no, this war was happening, but there was no big war. I have to look at it. Can you imagine a time where we had no wars cooking? We're not like stirring like four or five different occupations to some extent? I also thought this is, can you imagine a time where we actually won the wars that we were

in? Man, that is what's fucking remarkable when you get into art. Like when people like, look, we got to go, you're like, when was the last time that we were like, fucking done? They never end. They never end. They never end.

They never end. They just, like, I can't understand. We were like, we'll see you later. I remember like in the mid 2010s when that two-poch hologram came out, I remember thing I was in college, and I remember thinking, I can't believe we brought back two

pock before we got out of Afghanistan. Oh my god. And we all those solved two pock's murder before. Just by a hair. Just by a hair. Yes, just that would, dude, I always think about the two-pack hologram because that was at Coachella, I think. And it was like the level of, like if I were on the dose of drugs that I

would have been on at Coachella, and I saw that from as far away as I probably would have been, it would have probably taken three to four days to let me know that that was not actually two-pock. I would have been spreading the rumor so strongly that two-pock was at Coachella last year. Man, what a time, what a time when that was the furthest AI got was just two-pock. That was pretty good. We could have cut it there. So I looked it up. We weren't at war or, you know, per se. We were occupying Nicaragua. We were occupying the Dominican Republic and we were occupying Haiti, but we're always occupying Haiti.

Yeah, we've really, Haiti is allowed to be a little aggravated with us. Yeah, Haiti, uh, oddly, we're cheap. Yeah, all of them actually. Everybody in South of our border can be like, all right, enough. Well, it is interesting that if we're occupying Haiti in the Dominican Republic at the time, that the draft dodges would go to Cuba. I feel like you'd wanna go a little further away.

Yeah, yeah. Be a little safer. Got a candidate, idiots. Well, the only place that's a for us is nowhere i think that's it uh... that we want to go

and that's not the chemical spill you can hide uh... so i don't know what to say about this this one here uh... the headline is chemical spill you can hide uh... so i don't know what to say about this this one here uh... the headline is insect dies in fall and this this is a story from new york

what is what's going on and what is this the toddler times wait, just wait until you hear it. A mosquito flew from New Jersey to Brooklyn and nipped Frank Spadero, five. Franky fell 45 feet from a fire scape. He was unhurt, but the mosquito was crushed to death. I don't know what happened. Kind of goof, yes, shit. How did they know that the insect made it from New Jersey?

That's a very fair question, too. What? I think they're very fair question. I think they're writing up a story about how a kid fell 45 feet from a fire escape. It wasn't heard and they're trying to make it fun. Yeah. You follow the first story about your like slacker draft Dodger, like the like the paper's tone has been set

as like, we are an actual paper. And then their follow up story is that a mosquito was killed because a kid fell 45. I mean, it is the craziest. No, this is, this is like when you, when you have been on Twitter for two weeks and you go in and there's been a whole discussion for a week and a half about a mosquito and then you pop in you're like, wait, what's happening?

And you're reading this. It sounds like a bad one. B headline. It does sound like a meme that someone made up. Like what? What's yeah? Yeah. Yeah.

Like you have to have knowledge of what's happening in this society at the time or you're like us totally lost. Right. Right. Or like they, they try to soften a horrible story about a toddler falling. Right, right, right. By making up for mosquito.

Right, yeah, like man's shoes ruined after he bled out all over them. Yeah. Yeah. There's a very, so far there's very lack of information about treeport Louisiana which I would assume what that newspaper is. Fair point fair point. Yeah there's not I think page one is just all stuff from other places.

British girl sluice London the only girl detective forced in England is that of the county police in a Lenkshire. What is happening? What is who? Who is who? HPP Lane Chief Constable says they are the equal of men and in some cases better. This is like, that's the whole story.

I bet you in this era that was enough to have a guy beat off. Oh for sure. That was like planet you're like oh female law enforcement come on. Female girl sleuth is that how they describe it? Yeah. Yeah. Was it a female girl sleuth? Sleuths.

Sleuths. Sleuths. Because I'm imagining like a band of Sherlock Holmes-y and type people now. Right, my girl's just like, there's girls just poking around getting a people's business, I think. I think that's what they're. Imagine. Yeah, that is what I imagined some guy in 1921 reading that and being like all the woke agenda.

Yeah, yeah, right. Totally. It seems like Britain's finally gotten infected with the root mind virus. It's like an Austin Powers plot. Right, right. Yeah, he's awesome, but happy about it. He's like, what's going on here? No, baby.

No! So right under that is just one line. There's nothing else to the story. Just one. It says, a new substitute for milk is obtained from the peanut. Bluff, wow. Not milk. Peanut is very early considering how it seems like I can read in less like 10 years.

Yeah, right. Also, also, this is like so many terms in here, just vaguely sexual and have nothing to do with sex. You got like beating up pussy-footing female girls loose and not nut milk. It's like, what's happening in shrewd for right now? Yeah, there's a guy, there's a guy who's just hard up down there. I got, I'm really horny, but I can't just say it. Yeah, what is the sexual repression times? Is that what's happening? Nut milk. New term for me. I'm in a nut milk. I got a side. I didn't mean to nut milk so fast. So it turned out. How do they make milk from almonds and nuts? I

know how I do it, but how do they do it? It feels like I do it. Oh, Luke, how do they make nut milk? It's all right. That's our nut milk expert in there. Grind it up and civility says. Yeah. Really? That's it?

Yeah, I just don't have the point. But he is making nut milk in the corner right now. Not in the good way. Not in the way we want it. All right, stop it. Blue in the way we want it. All right, stop it. Bluebeard launches upon new track, says he'll starve to death. This is...

That sounds like a headline from a dream. Like it doesn't quite make any sense. Yeah, you're right. Bluebeard launches a new track. A spedby star. A monster's going to starve. Upon new track. So it'll start your death.

Who's Bluebeard? Is this a pirate? Well, I think it's a guy's nickname. I don't think it's the pirate, because it's 1921. He's been dead for 21, right? Yeah. Come on. There's still out there.

This is also out of New York. Jacob Cantor hunger striking. It's his hunger, but he's hunger striking. Hunger striking because he doesn't want to leave his cell in Sante Prison. Landerer entered the jail two years ago. Wait, does name just change? Okay. Landerer, it it did. They up here, it's just Jacob Cantor and now it says Lander. Okay. Lander. The only people are going to notice that are those reading this thing. Nobody's getting this far if they're actually reading it. Really? You think people listening aren't going to say you're confusing the names. Yeah. It feels like it feels like New York is sending

all their like they're not even sending their B&C stories Just saying like there's these stories the shrewd for you're like here right about this. Yeah The idea that you could only print a story in one publication today New York you got anything Well, suck your dick for a story New York will make nutmilk We'll suck your dick for a story New York. We'll make nut milk. Tell us about a mosquito from New Jersey something. What do you got? You got any mosquito stuff? So Landry had to do the jail two years ago, charged with killing a sundry lot of wives. What the fuck?

This is just a really crazy turn It's a crazy turn This is just a crazy turn So this is a serial killer A sundry a sundry lot What the fuck who is the killer? He gave the chillers much trouble He insisted on being awakened at certain hours and on sleeping when regulations said the

cell should be vacated for airing I love it he's a less of what they're just like his parents they're like all right well wake like you're just like no you're a murderer well look our serial killer wants to be up at 3 a.m. every day I hope you get his French toast, ready. A few weeks ago, Landrou discovered that a document was missing from the papers in his case.

A re-child was ordered, and the case transferred to Versailles, then the fun started. Landrou threw himself upon the bed and cried, why do they make me from here where I've been so happy, he wailed. Authorities fear his hunger strike strike may make him too weak to appear in court for trial. He's a he's a he's a very big beggar for someone who killed a bunch of lives. Yeah, he's really he's victimizing. He's victimizing himself a lot. And can you imagine someone being too weak to stand trial now like i would just be like get him on the gurney will drag him into the courtroom

well and this whole like like the the guards now would just be like okay so i guess i'm gonna hit you with a stick i have yeah right yeah if you're like excuse me could you wake me at about six a.m. is that possible i just i'd really try to just try to change my total clock interior clock. There's just something so funny about an entitled serial killer. That is just like that. That is as you're like your makeup as a human being is like 10 more minutes. I don't want to. I don't want to. I want my shoe like says. This is very casual about how he just killed a bunch of people. Well,

then what was the guy's name? I want to look him up real quick, but we were well I called him Landrue, but his name it says is Jacob Cantor C-A-N-T-L-R Jacob Cantor, New York Oh, now just wonder There's like actual famous Jacob Cantor, so we're not gonna find that. Yeah, I think it's gonna be our one to find. Wait, which guy was Bluebeard? That was the story of the first. That's also his nickname.

They called him Jacob Cantor, they called him Landrue and Bluebeard. Okay, so this says his name is Almerid des Ré l'Andrue, and that he was... Oh, and I think he dies in 1922. And he was a French serial killer named Nicknamed Bluebeard of Gambice, and he murdered at least seven women. Oh, man, this is delicious. I'm not, I'm not turn on my, he murdered at least seven women in the village of Gambé

between December 19, 15. Okay, so this is a French story. And January 1919, he killed at least three other women and a young man and he was arrested in 1919, which he shared with a 24-year-old mistress. They concluded that he had met or been romantic with 283 women during the first one or

or well damn and he continued to protest his innocence during the year long investigation he was charged with the murders at vernulae and gambay

and this included the murders of ten women uh... and and he was sentenced to death and he was executed by guillotine on February 25th, 1922. So what is the date on this paper? 21. It's May 19th. Oh, no way. So under a year later, he is late first. Yeah. So spoiler, spoiler, hunger strike did not work. No, did not work at all. He ended up being a stowa. I mean, his French eventually is like, please, just a little bit of Frommage, huh? Yeah, yeah.

Can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can I, can, can I, can, can I doing what he's just born to do. It's now that you know his French, like his attitude makes a lot more sense that he's like, could you whack me up at the back? It's more sense. And they're like, of course, we'll make you up at six, yeah, just let us know, eh? We'll let you in as soon as we need to, huh? Wow.

Damn, that's such a, I think that's the first time I've provided valuable information on this podcast. I agree with that. Thank you, Dave. Yeah. That's amazing for me. Is that what you feel like all the time?

I feel really great. Yeah. I'm kind of high in shit. Yeah, thanks. Awesome. Oh, Garrett, we were brought to you in part by Stitch Fix. Yes. Look, I got kids. I got you in part by Stitch Fix. Yes. Look, I got kids.

I got like six, I think, or one. No, I have one. I keep getting that confused. Yeah, it's weird that there's no in between when you get it mixed up, too. Yeah, no, I think it's pretty normal. It's an easy mistake to make. Sure.

You know, shopping for kids can be a challenge to say the least. They're very picky. Yeah. And then they want what they want. And a lot of times what they want, you know, I won't have them. Kids are the shirts. Kids, they're very picky. Yeah. And then they want what they want, and a lot of times what they want. You know, I won't have them. Kids are the shirts.

Kids, shirts I'm loving. And especially with back to school time, they're super into like what they want. Yeah. You can't just put them in a dress. Like I try to put Finn and just like one of those like a prairie dress I call it. Sure. And he's not something neutral. He's not really, yeah, neutral, the prairie dress.

And shopping for kids, it's just a lot. So StitchFix just makes everything easier. They're stylist shop with the whole family, and then they said kid-approved styles that parents also enjoy because of the price. Yeah. So you just let StitchFix do all the work. You don't have to go do all the business.

When I used that, that was the thing. I mean, they just kind of do it all. And I definitely was in an argument with my style. Well, I don't understand. So you get the clothes. And if you don't like some, if you don't like it, you can send them back in the room. No, I know you can, but I didn't.

I liked everything they sent. So you, but in order to sort of show dominance over the situation, you can send stuff back in that, I just wrote a letter that was strongly worded About you know, I'm not to be messed with. I'm not to be looked at in the eyes and I'm not to be I feel like that's not a part of this at all. I guess not Like the stuff you got. Yeah, Finn like the clothes you got. I like the clothes I got We both did I don't know what okay, so you're just doing a different thing. I'm not really sure what's yeah

I'm just saying stitch fix is the best way to shop With the whole family especially with the little guys and you don't have to worry about finding clothes that your picky kids are gonna like or Fitting room, you know meltdowns and all that stuff. Yeah, so it's great for me it worked out great same here I like the clothes and I melted down I got to do both right so basically you go through and you pick out on the website What you like and what you don't like and you tell them and then a stylist picks So basically, you go through and you pick out on the website, what you like and what you don't like and you tell them and then a stylist picks out clothes for you and they send them to you. And I like them.

Gareth liked them too. Love them. For some reason. Anyway. Just wanted to make sure that we all understood who's in charge here. Yeah. I mean, I just like it. I just have to go to the store.

I don't know why you're here. Same. I love that. That's good. It was in the letter. So try a stitch fix today at Stitch Fix.com-slash-tpt and get 25% off when you keep everything in your kids' fix. That's Stitch Fix.com-slash-tpt for 25% off. Stitch Fix.com-slash-tpt. Tip it.

Gareth, workhorse brought to you in part by Door Dash. I know you're going back to school. you wanna really good back to school tip? Well, if the tip is to not let the kids know that you're in your 40s, I don't need it. I already figured that one out. They have, I've been treated so unfairly by these kids. I was just thinking more like, you know, stocking up on this, blising, lunchtime snacks,

you're obviously gonna have a lot of them. Because you trade lunches and stuff with your hot wheels and I don't send them in rolls. I'm thinking of college. Oh. So you can just get everything on your list with just one door dash sweep of the whole thing, you know? Yeah, the kids can be so cruel.

You don't have to go to the store. The store just comes to you when you buy it and you use door dash. You get first day, you're ready, all the stuff. You need staples, classroom supplies, binders, trapper keepers, abacuses, all this stuff I was bringing, lead balloonin'. Let me tell ya, they were not, the kids saw right through it. That's old stuff. Anyway, DoorDash super convenient, get delivery within the hour, make it easier than ever to get to your back to school stuff, all your needs. You can fill up their backpacks

and maybe their belly's too a little snacks, huh? Yeah, I put what I did was I put a bunch of stuff in a beorn. Okay, so shop door dash, give everything you need for the back to school season delivered right to your door. Order now for stress-free back to school shopping. Use promo code TPPT to get 50% off up to a $10 value when you spend $15 more at convenience grocery or retail stores on DoorDash. That's 50% off up to a $10 value when you spend $15 more.

Promoco TPP terms up. Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif, yes this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now.

So go listen to We're Here to Help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. But, revolution clips off cues. Dame fashions put shears to pantaloons.

This one's out of San Francisco. Is this about shorts? No, well close. Only a decade ago, the most flirtatious Chinese maid who smiles ever started a tongue-wark if Jesus Christ. I mean, I mean, I'm just starting beating off. I'm gonna start beating off. This is the start. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. like, we don't need this right now. This is the fur fluis. Look, this is how hot she is. She's so hot that she can start a war between different Chinese gangs. I'd like to give her a tongue bath. Only a decade ago, the most flirtatious Chinese maid who smiles ever started a Tom war would not think of letting Caucasian eyes rest upon her trim oriental ankle any more than would her sugar go right or wooing without wearing a cue now a wooing has spelled a dash w o o i n g W-O-O-O-I-N-G. Whoa. No, it's nice to know that even 1920s, where do I dudes were obsessed with Asian women?

Like I guess I like, I'm going to exchange the more that's been saved. Yeah, and there was no like, I think this guy got paid per just every little racist racist flair they were like that'll be a nickel that'll be a nickel but yeah even then it was yeah white memory just like he's how we do it oh my god and now they're allowed to and now and this is about how the the Chinese women are finally like yes it's acceptable for us to be sought after by whites. Right, we can show our ankles. We can finally show those ankles. Show the gams, gals. The Chinese Revolution cut off the cues, and now, Dame Fashion has clipped the full

eight inches off the pretty pantaloons of the celestial maidens, revealing for the first time on the streets of San Francisco's Chinatown, pretty ankles and a bit more encased as enticing bits of silk as any American girl can wear. They just can't stop with the celestial. They just can't, they can't not throw in the racist stuff. You can feel the fedora on his head while he's writing this if this dude was alive today he would be on forchan like there's no way the most instantly dude ever like wow

what is it he would have a he would have a column called forchan cookie yeah you would have a column called 4chan cookie. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha but it's that he's like we can finally ogle at the chinese ankles i think it's eight inches it's eight inches so it's like mid mid calf is where we're talking about yeah it's just kind of caprice isn't it? i don't i don't know i don't know i think they're just below the needle whatever in the shops of Chinatown

luxuriously embroidered hodesre has taken its place on the shopkeeper shelves besides the dragon covered kimonos and the Chinatown luxuriously embroidered Hozary has taken its place on the shopkeeper shelves besides the dragon covered kimonos and the deityous little slippers. American markets can produce our soul to the owners of tiny Chinese feet. Oh my god. Jesus. Right. Look at him.

It's like every time it's like peeling the onions, it's It's like all he's really in the feet too. This is crazy I think we've been making jokes about about masturbating through this whole newspaper But this is probably the one where this guy did not make it through writing this guy Absolutely no, this is the only article that ends with a that ends with a nut milk. Sure we like them. All same American girl was what Rose G had to say about her new silk stockings and tiny pumps which showed from beneath her lavender silk pantaloons. See they pretty she added coily looking downwards. There are there were not into this. How do you feel reading this? Are you okay?

I feel like I can't look from reading this. I want to take a deep shower. I just, god damn, I feel bad. It's crazy how much space this newspaper dedicated to Chinese women's ankles, especially when this is a story about a baby surviving a 45 foot fall. Like, you know, like it's like, yeah, this is a

different, like a article. Yeah, by far, we could have, could we could have cut eight inches out of this article. It's like you took an article there that K Jimmy key run this to racism and he's like, yeah, it Someone put this through the racetrack And right to the fan is a sexual fantasy algorithm one times. What happens? Scroll This newspaper this newspaper feels like it's pretty sticky. That's what it feels like.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, all this man makes wooden leg. What? How is that? How is that the greatest thing I've ever heard? All this man makes wooden legs. It just had like a euphemism for an old man got a boner.

And we're excited for him. I think we're just the de-zona of the paper now. Yeah. Right, that's right. That would be, by the way, that would be a more enticing headline. All this man gets wood. Yeah, that would be, how did he get this wood?

Did he read the article of the chinese feet that that that that that that that that that that that that that that that all this makes wood and leg yeah this is uh... from york sir south kielena doctor w e urwin eighty four oldest white male citizen of this city

makes wooden legs the doctor lost his own right leg by a shell during the war between the states and he built a wooden leg according to his own notion and he has been making them for other people ever since so just to be clear the v.a.s always been the best like he comes back yeah he beggin to in a make a water. We want to make your own wooden leg pal.

Also, but the war between the states, he lose his leg in the civil war. Yeah. Oh shit. He's old. I mean, that was a while ago, right? That was 25, 30, 70. No, wait.

If he's 85, then he lost his leg. I mean, it's a war between the state. He just, he's got to be super old, but it did say, oh, this man, he's eighty-four, but that means he lost it when he was a team. Yeah. So he fought when he was a team or he was not. Well, we've read stories about like nine year olds in the Civil War, so it's possible. Yeah, it is. If he's in South Carolina, especially at the end of the war, they're letting kids fight. Yeah. Look, I want to, I yet i want to say right here this guy's a liar he didn't fight the war uh...

uh... yes this so that so we find uh... that when they remove eight inches of fabric from the clothes of chinese women hot and when this guy we remove eight inches of his skin and he gets a wooden leg not hot. That's right. That's a good double standard to point out. Yeah.

I'm not reading this again. I don't think. I don't think. Reading this again, he was an assulger. They would have said he was a fat. He just lost his legs. I probably was a kid. So I take back.

I apologize to him. Yeah, good. Damn, he made a little leg. And they read about it in Treeport, Louisiana. The fact that there's nothing about Treeport in here, tells me a lot about Treeport actually. Nothing. Nothing, no, no.

Oh, we got a first, this is like South Carolina's B-sides. We got a first street court story. Hell yeah. Sheriff and deputies destroyed a lot of mash and moonshine still. Of course it's Louisiana. Sheriff Thomas Hughes accompanied by two deputies in federal prohibition enforcement officers located at a 50-gallon moonshine still, one and a half miles west of moring's port the still had

three hundred gallons of and the still and three hundred gallons of match for destroyed but no hooch was found on the premises the officers report there was nobody all and no rest for me i would love for an expert to walk me through the difference between moonshine and Hooch. I'd say there's no difference. Hooch is moonshine. It's just a different turf. Right. But I was like, look, we were able to get our hands on all the

contraband moonshine, but they still a lot of Hooch out there. They just got, they just, they just found the still. They found a 50-gown still. No, no no no who chin it the guys are already taken off with a huge and there was no one there so they didn't arrest you but if you are speaking like smokey in the band it nobody are not listening no no there was no who chin the moonshine do you understand a fifty dollar fine imposed on doctor from te from Texas for trying to sell drug. Dr. W. W. Pugh, an attendant practitioner.

He was almost our first website. That's close. Dr. W. W. Pugh, an attendant practicing physician from Texas, was $5.50 and cost on a charge of having a narcotic drug in a possession and offering it for sale. Dr. Pugh told the court that he was in Shreveport on a visit and bought the drug for his own use. It was testified that the accused had three one-eighth ounce bottles of morphine in his possession

when arrested and that he offered to sell one of the bottles to a drug addict for eleven dollars damn bill doctors have just been pushing opioids for years imagine a time when a doctor pushing opioids was a shocking move yeah was this was this doctor feiser was having that's crazy. Damn. Yeah. This was W.W. Sackler.

It's like, wow. At first, I thought he was just like, he got pop for just trying to like give drug to a patient. And that would be very Texas to get arrested for trying to save someone's life. Yeah. No, that would have happened. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And that, that's not so fast.

Not so fast. Here, I'm going to read a help on it, Ed. Ooh. Sure. Help wanted female. As, all right, careful that already. Is that it? This is not much more, but it sounds.

Oh, thank god. It's always starting at a weird place. Female-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n- They just talk about pictures. I don't know. I don't know. Five thousand. Yeah. Go ahead. Five thousand ideas needed. Working girl paid 10,000 for ideas. She thought worthless details free. Right, producer's league. St. Louis. This is sorry. I think this sounds like the gentleman dreamed. Yeah. The help wanted should be for help wanted person to write help wanted for me.

Yeah, this sounds like a drug got just put in an ad. Yeah, yeah, I want to wear a 10,000 unused idea. I mean, that's a thing. I need a photo play. Okay. Photo play was one of the first American film fan magazines. Oh, okay. So I don't know.

So maybe they're just looking for stories. I guess. The meaning of photo play is motion picture. The meaning of photo plays. So they're looking for ideas for movies. I think that's what it's saying. Is this a time when the studios are taking advantage of the writers? I can't imagine that. I can't imagine that. It sounds a bit nefarious. It doesn't sound like the studios. No, it doesn't, you're right.

It's just a part of the studio then, it's just a guy named Frank in St. Louis. Yeah, yeah, I'll get you in pictures. Yeah, yeah. OK, I rarely do photos on this podcast, but there's a picture here of a bunch of Asian kids. And Dave, it says, using motion pictures to spread the gospel.

And there's like 10 kids lined up in there. And it seems like a traditional Asian garb. And it says, Chinese children in a Christian mission in one of the famine stricken districts of China. These boys and girls appear in one of an interesting series of films which have been prepared by great expense to show what is being accomplished by Christian missionaries in China and other Oh my god, what an ending what an ending what an ending Man, it's a dark shit. Yeah, that's a wow that That movie is I wish I could watch that movie. I just want to know what is happening. It's

That's an actual picture Yeah, there's let me see if I can Stop it here. I think I can show it to you. Oh, wow. Wow. By the way, what is the description of them? Because whatever it is, it sounded like they were having fun and It's a very forced. It says Chinese children in a Christian mission. Okay, yeah, all right. I'm so I get you to them. I'm probably like, I don't care what religion you are when you go somewhere else and your children evolve like you're, it's not good, usually. No, no, no.

You get involved in other people's business. Also that time, you know, the 1920s and China's some shit goes down. So your Christian missionary shit didn't work very well. Well, they were saving the heathens, Dave. We're all saving the heathens. That's why I'm in Boulder, Colorado right now. You're just outside of Boulder. Okay, it's not opening up something so we can do this. 19 baseball players arrested in Florida for Sunday play.

Goddamn right. Whoa, are they playing the chick-fil-a-lead? It's all about Heath. It's all about you, you two in a lot of places, not be able to play baseball on Sunday. And they had to have a whole like fight to fight. Essentially people for finally like, why the fuck, where are we not watching baseball

and Sunday because you crazy religious assholes don't want people to play? So I eventually stopped, but at this time, people are actually getting arrested for playing baseball on Sunday. Crazy. Crazy. Oh, great.

The idea that a god, that there, it's just so insane to imagine that if there is a God This is the maker break Moment like this stuff like the God is so like it's such an annoying God to be like now Yeah, it's actually in the book of Doug Bible and it's there's a old there's all thing about you know don't play baseball Yeah, I forgot about the book

Yeah, he's got he's got a whole universe to run him He can't run it if they play baseball and floor it on Sunday. No No god rest it so you should rest come on But then as a concession they agreed to call it the dug out and that was sort of the way uh... was a main call for it was sort of uh... you know it was the way of offering up a concession was that was that right they've and the concession led to the concession now is that not this this is the time to have that certainly tracks for me and i think it's a promise thank you nineteen members of the fort lottererdale and Miami Florida East Coast teams

were arrested here this afternoon at the close of the opening game of the season on charges of violating the state law prohibiting Sunday baseball. So they let him play the whole game which I. Yeah. Let's see. Let's watch it. And that's the y'all turn around boys get against the kids. No, you're going to hell. I bet on you guys and you lost, so now you're all going to jail. Yeah, that's what that feels like a little bit. Let him play with me.

Yeah, right. Yeah. They're mad at the result for sure. Four dipping vats blown up in this parish. What? What? You know what? We did four. What's happening?

What's happening? And the Joker created. That's the Joker got made, I'm pretty sure. Yeah, yeah. Oh wait, let me read this one first. Farmers unite four dipping. I'm gonna read this one first. I'm gonna redis one first farmers unite for dipping uh... movement general in

all-out cheat uh... and other parishes to aid state authorities farmers in the various parishes of northeastern Louisiana have made federal several efforts to bring those who are opposed to dipping cattle together in an effort whereby it is hoped that they may get state authorities to give them summer leave in the matter, especially during the summer. What?

They're dipping cattle. What is that? Oh, what is that? We'll find out. I'm sure. Oh, a Cheetah parish farmers on the east side are complaining bitterly against the necessity of dipping and a general mass meeting of farmers, businessmen, and parish authorities were urged to try to get relief from the state and also bring about a more organized effort against dipping.

Oh my God. What do you think dipping is? I looked it up. Is it putting them in? Is it is it taking them and dipping them into a big thing of poison? Yes, it is. Is it periodic dipping in vats filled with water-based solutions containing arsenic or other pesticide concentrations sufficient to destroy the ticks, but not injure the cattle? God, it's not.

This one's a little lick themselves, or. What? I mean, each other. Oh, of arsenic as like you're like, but the right amount of arsenic is key. Yeah, I was poor fucking animals. Oh my god, and then immediately four of them blew up. That feels like, yeah like that's pretty crazy. Cows catching on fire. Just exploding, huh? Too much arsenic, boys.

So they'll definitely have a little bit of a problem. That's right, that's the good news. She's tickless. So I'm gonna skip ahead a little bit. They're basically upset because they're saying they don't have the money for it and the cows are barely getting barely getting by as it is and judge Fred Omen finds several westside farmers twenty five dollars and costs

for failure to dip in criminal court yesterday a report was brought to the world that is yeah failure to dip a report was brought to Monroe that a vat on the west side between the seventh and eighth warts has been died. Oh my god. Safety is safety. Oh my god. Oh my god. This is like, it's so funny how this newspaper

first casually revealed a serial killer and now how you revealed an act of domestic terrorism. Like, you think you would lead with that? That was happening. It's not that they're blowing up like vats of, this is arsenic, so they're exploding arsenic, every year. Yes, every year.

It's just a mist of poison that they're, so I assume that there is a giant state owned vat of poisons and you're supposed to walk your, and bring your cows through it. And so you have to bring your cows there, and then dip them, and then some guys like, fuck this and blew it up. That's what it sounds like.

Yes, that's right. And probably one of those people was like, I don't wanna dip my cows in arsenic and people were like, what? It's the item out for ticks, your cows fine. I feel like Suspect One is the guy who got fined. That seems like that's where you start. I would be looking in that direction for sure.

That's crazy. Okay, so they mini-chernobled the area. Yeah. Farbers of Oachita Parish organized a truck rowers association and a farm bureau, each of the large number of members at a gathering of parish agriculture the organization were perfected by

a bmjaxon farm agent assisted by representatives of both national farm bureaus so they've created their essentially creating unions to try to fight against having to dip their cows dip their cows right uh... wait here's a great little link what are the disadvantages to dip in cattle it can cause death particularly a lot of young cows and weak animals

it can deposit residues of the chemical in the meat which could jeopardize the markets there's a lot so i mean so you know again farmers generally know their shit better than, you know, than the government, but this just sounds like they're probably losing cows and like don't want to dip their young cows.

I think they're still dipping cows. You think they still are? They probably are. They are. Yeah, it wouldn't surprise me. We could get a space, he just cannot believe what's happening that they's still dipping cow. That's not good.

Okay, here's the next, here's the next dipping story. Four dipping vats blown up in this parish. According to information reaching Shreve Port Monday, four dipping vats located in the northeast portion of Cato Parish near the line of Arkansas, Louisiana, were blown up with dynamite thursday

it is stated that the destruction of the vats was reported to how gatti chief inspector for the tic eradication bureau of catapar you can't eradicate tics what they can't argue do we it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it. Yeah, it's like it's like What other bureaus do we have do you have like the ant genocide bureau like how are you? Be a trying to eradicate bugs Adorable I mean, but they are taking our toddlers.

Yeah. Gatti has initiated an investigation into the view to the arrest and conviction of the guilty parties. One of the vats destroyed is located near Mira. It is said and the other three in that vicinity, only a few weeks ago, three vats were dilimated near Mertis, and though a reward has been offered for the apprehension of the perpetrators of the crime, no arrests have yet been made. Yeah, no shit, no one's gonna fucking knock

because it's a farm area and they don't want to do the fucking dipping. This seems like the meaning of people they all got together planned this. That's what it feels like. Yes, 100%. Yeah. It has stayed that the question of giving substantial aid to the ticker allocation officials in the enforcement of the law will be discussed at the

next regular meeting of the Cato Police jury. So they're going to get rid of that. That's just although maybe they did, but maybe they got rid of like government making you do it. I just it's just so they got rid of government making you do it. It's just so crazy that, of course, we're still dipping cows. I mean, if you think about it, have we done anything that's progressive with any sort of, we did in California and make it so like, hey, the pigs should be able to turn around or whatever.

And then they got, they got a little bit of doubt that they're starting to be no more bacon. Why? You can't turn them. You can't let the face turn around. There is so much going on with this in this time. At this time, the native Alabama cattle, usually called cracker cattle, raised by the common people, that developed an immunity to the fever, and the problems were mainly with the fancy European cattle breeds

being imported by the richer cattle men. So there was a clear class conflict between the open range open range libertarians with local cattle often lumberman too and the wealthier cattle man with their fans with fenced-in fancy breeds Locals began dynamiting dipping vats the act became such a problem that in 1919 governor Thomas killby was offering rewards For the capture of the dinamiters whoa, so that nineteen governor thomas killby was offering rewards for the capture of the dinamiders well yeah i mean that's a whole thing in especially out west but the fight between the fancers and the non-fancers like that's been yeah that's still that's

what the bundy fight was oh that's the bundy's that's live in a bundy mhm it's still that old fight is the sagebrush wars and stuff thank god artist has no hands. Oh, gosh. We found our dynamiter. Artist has no hands.

A boy born without hands has been awarded a three year art scholarship. He is the son of a London county hall messenger many of his paintings have attracted public attention wow that's a good story after the terrorism that's great well it is because in this based on everything we've heard so far You would expect this to be like a negative article about a hands-less art man

Instead they're like we are all just really enjoying what this no-handed person could do you like oh? Thank God, so we're gonna jail him and put him in a dime store right I Nursing bottles are time-store. Right. I'm not. Nursing bottles are sign of national decay, to said. Nursing bottles are sign of national decay, Dr. John Futt of Washington, chairman of the editorial board, American Child Hygiene Association. child hygiene association sees a clearly established connection between your babies dinner and the fate that sways empires. Wow these guys. This is the ticket as well. Yeah how do they make that connection?

Tickety's a job. Pump the brakes Johnny boy. Figure his nation is one whose mothers nurse their own babies. He asserts well the history of the race has shown this over and over again The Ray sorry, yep, that's where I'm headed. What's going on? Yeah, it's a little heck out there with the words Yeah, it sounds like a homestead screaming on a corner There's not enough babies sucking tips out here White babies Why do you bring race into it all of a sudden just the race drop in really out of I mean It's an astounding start, but then he's just like the race wise too. Obviously, it's important

I mean, it's an astounding start, but that is just like the race wise too, obviously, it's important. Well, I bet that more at this time, more white women are using formula. I've been you and that's what's making it. Now he's like, they're going to pass on, stuck on a pass, not. The use of the nursing bottle in history seems to come invariably after a period of great social dissipation. The wet nurse has always been an important figure in the history of infant feeding. Oh, so he's mad that he's like, there's not enough babies sucking other people's tips.

That's what he said. Yeah, this. By the way, this guy's dressed up like a baby. 100%. Oh, God. 100 percent. Oh God, so among the wealthy nations of antiquity, the high-born ladies refuse to be burdened with the feeding care of their offspring. Even in England, as late as 1779, we find provision for the royal nursery, including

eight wet nurses who had an annuity of 200 pounds each Wow from the two were just Did they dip them into tick vats? I think so Dr. Foot says that in America the wet nurse does not figure to any extent in our problems of baby welfare America, the wet nurse does not figure to any extent in our problems of baby welfare. But the nursing bottle does, he continued, American mothers must realize that the nursing bottle, except in a very small number of cases, should be used only to supplement breastfeeding and not as a substitute.

A nation's care in its future, site citizens, is an index to its character. When it takes to putting its babies on the bottle, it has taken the first step towards degeneracy. Jesus Christ. Well, he would be proud of America who's been having formula shortages recently. Yeah, I'm gonna... We're sticking to the plan. It's so funny, like, what parts of, like,

the modern day that you just take for... I guess, like, for granted that you didn't know was a fight back then back then like I remember the first time I found out that women couldn't wear pants and how much of an issue that was oh yeah I had no idea I had no idea they were crazy bottle culture wars happening and the woman who wore pants everyone was like this needs to stop. Oh yeah, they get arrested, yeah, totally. Yeah. Yeah, this a lot of the other like what a crazy fight that we were having. Yeah, well there's so much stuff where you never think about like, oh how did that start then?

And you're like, what? We were talking the other night about the first woman who ran a marathon, like we did an episode on that and it is insane the level of brain exploding that was going on with the man who were just like women can't run for a couple reasons and one is their health right

yeah uh... this is another one-liner the people of great britain spend weekly two hundred oh sorry two million five hundred thousand on fried fish and potato chips that is i'll tell you that is that does not belong in a paper that is so obvious

that whole diet if that diet has remained pretty much unchanged. There are no restaurants, but the level of fish and potatoes is, I mean, a lot of, a Brexit is rooted, a lot of it, in fish. Right, yeah, there's big like fighting, like fight over fish. There's this whole, yeah, there's this whole cod just like just insanity, and it like comes down to fish and chips. Crazy. That's fine. Chicago hunts radium. I don't know what this word is. Solomon are hunting treasure with a rod with two gold leaves attached they seek six thousand a six thousand dollar to the radio

radium makes the gold leaves shimmy oh man but the gold leaf shimmy oh so it's basically it's a radium detector yeah this is like the radium girl era huh yeah right yeah well there's also like after after the radium girls, right, Dave, is that where they were doing,

like, water in a radium in water? That was after, because it was still, like, considered a cure all for a while. I think that was around the same time as the radium girls. Yeah, so it's like, so the radium had that hey day where it was like you know Like a centrum and now and now people are finding like look We need people with jaws in this country got damn it right. Yeah, it took us until like 1920s through this and not everything shiny is good Like as far as right just because like sure it clothes in the dark that can be helpful. Don't eat it Yeah, right don't apply it on your face is makeup Yeah on the dark that can be helpful don't eat it yeah right don't apply it on your faces make up

yeah yeah uh this is the last one yeah okay secret wedding of Texarkana couple is finally made public thank god thank you all we're gonna we're gonna happen it these these white people can finally come out of the shadow friends of wiley malone and miss paul mucquilland well-known young people of the texas side were greatly surprised by the announcement made by the parents of the young lady yesterday afternoon that the couple had been husband and wife though not living together since last

october that the couple had been husband and wife, though not living together since last October. That's very mysterious. That's a shit. It's very mysterious. Yeah, that's what the car on here. Yeah. Well, it's so people are surprised, but then why aren't they living together?

I mean, it's, it sounds like, if I were to do some detective work on this, it sounds like he had got her pregnant recently, the parents are like no they got married like a year ago yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you're probably right all right so that's what a feel you are to the British female sleuth campaign you're very good you're very good yeah yeah just why the wedding has been kept a secret for so long a time was not given. It is said that the making of the marriage public, even at this time, was due to the critical

illness of the groom who was stricken several days ago with typhoid fever. You feel bad? Oh, you feel guilty. A little bit. He's dying. Yeah. So that's what it is. Oh, when the wife insisted on nursing him, the parents made announcement of the wedding.

So people were like, why in the fuck is she going over to Typhoid guy's house to take care of them? Everyone's like, it's because they're married. It's not. I still would flag it. I'd give it still flag that she did it. Well, that I'd still be like, okay, yeah, she should not be going over there. Like, he is tight.

Yeah, I know I agree. Yeah, but she'd like to go to Earth. Right, but you have to die together. I don't care how much I love someone. If they have typhoid, it's like, I'm sorry, you're going to need to know. And that's why you're not typhoid, Gary. Yeah. That's what you're doing.

That's what I've never, that's why I won't typhoid the not. We're not, we're absolutely not going out on that. Postman, postman plays are armed all over US to prevent robberies. Whoopsie. Yeah. a quantity of orange and ammunition has been received by Postmaster Redcliffe from Washington, DC, to be used by the employees for protecting valuable males from high women and other variety of robbers. This arming of the postal employees is the result of the policy recently adopted by the US Postal Department to put a stop to

the male robberies that have been taking place all over the country during the past year. A reward of not exceeding 5,000 is offered by the government to any employee who brings a person who was attempted to rob the males and effect will probably be that in the future. There will be fewer successful robberies. Oh my God, so this is just art and the teachers of a different time. Right. I'm the postal workers. Right.

It's art and the postal workers. Also just a different time when you can rob the postal workers and you can get something out of it. Like now if you rob a mailman, you just get a bunch of credit card offers. Yeah, like a good card. Yeah, it's like, or someone else's progressive bill. Yeah.

Yeah, that's like, but this is, I'm gonna's progressive bill. Yeah, it's like, people say, oh, I gotta pay this now! God damn it. This is when light blue live matter. People are like, yeah, people with the fact that they were sending money and stuff, like it's all over the mail, huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah, like gold.

Yeah, a lot of money was probably being sent, I would imagine. I think at that time, I think at that time too, you were allowed to send children over the mail. I'm pretty sure there was time where you can mail kids. Absolutely. They're going to bring it back. They're bringing it back in our case. So I'm floored out. Yeah, it's actually our camera.

Jesus Christ. Well, another normal journey through literally one newspaper. I think we should remind people that we are going through newspapers and not the vision boards of people on acid. Just to be clear, these are actual newspapers and it is not as a sort of alluded to, just the fever dream of some man who used to be a storyteller and doesn't really know the through line any longer. It's almost like that that that that wife was just writing down that dude's typhoid dreams. Yes, it is. It is. It is. It's like literally the last three days of stories from someone dying from

typhoid. But it was a newspaper and Assad thank you for joining us once again Your your Instagram is a Sanjay Ahmad and You go see you 730 at the comedy mothership in Austin and yeah Every Wednesday, so thank you for joining us Dave. Thanks. Right nothing to say to you not Not well, you're just in the hotel room right next to mine. I can just go over and- Well if you want to meet and fight I will meet and fight if that's what you're talking about. Okay, it's right on the hallway right now. You're literally right now.

Let's do it. Let's do it asshole. Let's do it. Okay dude. Okay. We're gonna fight now. We'll tell you in the next episode who won. Yeah, if there isn't actually. Anyway, we're out of here. Bye. Oh, that was great. actually. Anyway, we're out of here. Alright. Oh, that was great. Beautiful. Thank you, man.

Thank you, Patronin. Somo, these days, you'll miss me honey. Somo, these days. you