The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 380 - The Beaver Drop - Smollop

Episode Date: May 30, 2019

It's a special smollop of The Dollop. Dave and Gareth examine the Idaho beaver drop.TOUR DATESSOURCES REDBUBBLE MERCH

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. So this is a special episode of the I should just say you're listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network.

Sure. I'm one of the hosts this American History Podcast my name is Dave Anthony. What's happening? Your name is? Gareth Reynolds I have no idea what the topic is gonna be about. This is a special episode. Yeah but you can still do an intro like a regular human. All right you're listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. It's an American History podcast each week I read a story from American History did. What's your name? Dave and Anthony. Okay my name is Gareth Reynolds I have no idea what the topic's gonna be about and we're buddies. Are we? Well I felt like it before this. I don't know I thought we were friends until that

guy and read it. I guess certainly spiced up the dynamic. So this is a special podcast it's just gonna be a quick we're gonna do a quick history episode that I always wanted to do. How about this 19? Should we say what dates what dates we're gonna be places? Should we do dates? Whatever no I don't grow okay. All right special episode. Yeah you can go to yeah. 1948. Okay. You're our Lord Jesus Christ. Yep. Just after World War II people had discovered the beauty of McCall and Payet Lakes in Idaho or maybe just McCall and Payet Lake whatever. People are building homes there. Okay. All right it's a very beautiful place. Sure. It's

just north of Boise. Okay. In doing so they expanded into an area where beavers have been living and doing their beaver things for decades. Okay. Let's fucking beaver town. Sure. Suddenly the beavers are a problem. Okay. There ended up being a lot of damage done to irrigation systems orchards and other kinds of farming efforts because they're too many beavers moving into a place where other things live. Right. So Elmer Elmo Hetter worked for the Idaho fish and game in the area and he had worked with beavers a lot. That's one of his deals. Sure. He's out there in the wild. He's like beavers or my jam. Sure. He loves beaver. Well it

became his job to find out a solution for this human beaver clash of civilizations. Right. Okay. He knew the Chamberlain Basin which is about 199 miles southeast is the perfect place for beavers to live. So there's this beautiful area that's very beaver friendly. 190 miles away. Now he knows it's beaver friendly or he's just like. He knows based on the topography and what's there and the streams and the water and it's the perfect. It's a hot spot for beavers. It's a hot beaver. It's gonna be beaver land like you can't believe. Okay. I'm a believer. Yeah. It's isolated so beavers can be away from people. There's

like literally no roads in and they're beaver. It's perfect for beavers for habitat and the benefit. You're laying on how perfect it is for beavers. Pretty thick. Beavers had been proven they would be good with a move like so beavers have been moved before and they do well as long as the area is good for them and transplanted beavers have been shown to be great at setting up new colonies, multiplying, providing environmental services like storing water, reducing the risk of flash floods and erosion, improving the habitats of other animals, fish, waterfowl and plants. Basically beavers are fucking awesome.

Yep. If you bring in a bunch of beavers, your whole place gets better. Great. That's the basic thing that I take away from my beaver thesis. Great. My theory of beavers. That's not yours and my beery. No. Yes. Don't try that stuff. The basin was also the perfect place to set because there's no humans there. Right. There's no people. One small problem with transporting the beavers is, like I said, no roads. Okay. So how are they going to get the beavers into Chamberlain Basins? Put make a bunch of make a car made out of beavers and get it over there. Okay. So there's one one idea is on the table. Okay. And it's a good idea. And I don't

know if it needs any punches. Okay. I think it's pretty good to go. Yeah. Yeah, just stack the beavers into a car like shape and get in the middle and drive them next. What's the next problem? What else you got? His first idea was to pack the beavers onto mules and pack them into the into the basin. Now pack the beavers onto mules. Yeah, because mules carry packs of stuff. Right. So just put bags of beaver on the mules. Well, you pack a bunch of beavers. This is 200 miles away. Yeah. I mean, yeah. So you're asking horses or mules to take beavers. I think the idea was to pack the beavers out of this area, put them in a truck, then drive

to where the road stopped and then put them back on the mules and pack them into the but still regardless for some of this, you're just bad beavers. A pretty decent amount of time you have beavers on top of a mule. Okay. Yep. Flagging it right now. Why? It's bad idea. So it turns out after some attempts that beavers don't like riding on mules. Interesting. And mules don't like carrying around beavers. Interesting. Because it's something you actually don't see in nature. Oh, I wouldn't go that far, Dave. Okay. Yeah. From LMO's report titled Transplanting Beavers in the Journal of Wildlife Management. Really? Clear. Quote.

Beavers cannot stand. Whoops. Whoops. My bad. Anyway, I want to thank the editor. Beavers cannot stand the direct heat of the sun unless they are in water. Okay. During transportation, they must be constantly cooled and watered. You're not going to get that in a satchel. Sometimes they refuse to eat. Sure. Sure. Other older individuals often become dangerously belligerent. Older individuals become belligerent. I think that goes for everybody. Beavers, yes, for sure. And they're just pissed. They're just like, what are you doing? We don't ride horses. Maybe we got to put little cowboy hats on them.

So, this goes on. Rough trips on pack animals are very hard on them. Horses and mules become spooky and quarrelsome when loaded with a struggling, odorous pair of live beavers. Look, it's a loser of an idea. Okay. Straight up. It's just a document explaining how to not move beavers. These problems involve further handling and to frequently result in a loss of beavers. Yes. So, the putting the beavers on a mule ends in beaver death. Right. So, it's a bad idea. So, then Elmo came up with another idea. Right. He knew there was a big surplus. Stack them like a car. He knew there was a big surplus of parachutes from World War II. Shut your

God. Shut, shut, shut your mouth. Shut your mouth. What? Well, so the war ended, they were still making parachutes, but the war was over, so they go, and now we- Hey, what do y'all do with all those parachutes? Well, we're just waiting for another war to break out. Or beavers. Unfortunately, we made some of these too tiny. So, he thought, what if he dropped the beavers from a plane? Into the wilderness. What? In their new home. I mean, these, you are talking about cardiac arrests in 80% of the beavers. Not only would this solution solve the human beaver conflict in McCall, but it would save money when it came to

transporting beavers. Plus, it's going to look fucking bananas. It's going to look fucking awesome. It's going to be great. And it would make use of all those extra parachutes. So, you're getting rid of surplus parachutes. Yeah. Your cheaper beaver transport. Yeah. Plus, you get to put the fear of God in a bunch of beavers. It's a win-win. Yeah. I'm trying to think of where is there a loser in this? None. I can't find a loser. Well, the mules don't get to be a part of it. That's true. Estimated cost for dropping four beavers from a plane is around $30 in 1948, which is about $300 today. Sure. So, it's relatively expensive to do this dumb,

crazy idea. Well, or cheaper than hauling them by mule. Well, no, more possible. So, he had a plan, and now he just had to figure out how to actually. I've got to teach one of them how to fly a jet. Fair should beavers. Well, here's the thing. Getting them to pull the cord. Hard. Because they're going to start chewing on it. Hard. Yeah. But the whole thing is flawed. No, I think it's just the cord part. No, no, it's all a problematic idea. Because you do have to hose them down while they're dropping. Well, yeah, you got a key. It certainly doesn't solve your moisture problem. That's fair. His first idea was to use a woven willow box. For what? To put them in? Okay. Because for a

second, I definitely am picturing them like whoa. So, the idea was he'd put the beavers in the woven willow box. Sure. Attach it to the parachute. Sure. Drop them. Right. And once the box hit the ground, the beaver would chew his way out because that's what beavers do. Right. A lot of unknown quantities in this. Somehow there were problems. Really? What happened? The beavers went to work immediately upon being put into one of these boxes. Okay. So, they're already chewing through the boxes. No, no, no. Wait till you hit land, dummy. And it was feared by the that they might chew their way out while dropping them from the sky. Well, that's going to be a big fucking problem. Or might even chew their way out while

they were in the airplane, which would cause a problem for the pilot. Yes. The pilot will be murdered by beavers. Okay. So, we have a movie. Yes, we do. Beavers on a plane. That's right. Yeah. Elmo then came up with a specifically designed beaver wooden travel box that would open upon impact. Sure. Sure. He tested it with weights. The weights don't chew through it. It worked, but it would hit the ground and pop open. Right. Okay. When he was ready, he caught an older male beaver. Poor bastard. To use as a test pilot. Oh, god. His name, he named the beaver Geronimo. Sure. Let's. Yes. Upset humans and animals. Yeah, I was just going to say, let's make sure to be racist in this one too. Quote, Geronimo went through a series of tests

to see how this plan would work. Poor bastard. Elmo dropped Geronimo on a landing field over and over and over and over again. His mind. Each time Geronimo popped out of the box. Finally. And then he would and then handlers would come over and capture him. Hey, no, I just got here. And then he'd be put inside. Not the box again. Another attempt. No, I don't like parachuting. It's like, it's like, it's like the worst beaver groundhog day ever. Yeah. Yes. What is happening? How is it Friday? How high up are they flying? I don't know. I couldn't find out how, but it's pretty high. I mean, it's high up enough that a parachute has to pop open. Yeah. By the way, any height is too high. Yes. For this plan. No beavers from what I understand do not

parachute. No, no, no, they're not flying animals. No, they're not. No, no, no. But what if they were? Well, they are. So eventually this older beaver just gave into the nightmare. And after dropping onto the run, the landing area, the box would pop open. He'd get out of the box. He'd start moving and then he'd see the handlers coming for him and he would just crawl back into the box. Oh, my God. So we have broken the spirit of a beaver, which is all that this was about. That's the end of the story. That's a great one. Once Elmo thought enough tests have been done, he decided to commit, which is not a number that exists. He decided to commence with Operation Beaver Drop. What is going on? Geronimo's reward for being the test beaver was to be the first

male beaver on the first plane to Chamberlain Basin. Quote, he was sent to his own little piece of paradise with three lovely young female beavers. I love how the mind of a man is so simply ridiculous to the point where this guy is like, well, I know what I'd want a paradise island and a bunch of women. And he's like, that's what we give the beaver. Yeah. Um, then the female beavers like, we got dropped in with some guy with PTSD. Hey, let me tell you, don't worry. Once you land, don't go for the box. Don't go for the box. Don't go for the box. Go back in it. Go back in it. Otherwise they're going to hurt you. So, um, so they hit the ground and got out of their box and created a beaver colony. Then more beavers are parachuted in. In all, 76 beavers were

dropped into the basin. Okay. They were specifically dropped into open meadows dotted with streams. So they picked actual grids and locations for each target. Yeah. And and it worked. Um, well, except for one beaver, but all 75 beavers that worked. So one beaver 76. Not it didn't one bit through his box. The box opened in midair. Oh my God. And the beaver climbed on top of the box. Oh, no. Elmo quote. Even so, had he stayed where he was, all would have gone well. Had he? Yeah. What a fucking idiot. What a dumb beaver. Doesn't he understand how parachutes work? But for some inexplicable reason, when the box was within 75 feet of the ground, he jumped or fell from the box. Now inexplicable can also be, uh, switched with, uh, obvious. Yes. Because

beavers aren't used to being 75 feet up in the air. Well, how are you faulting a beaver? Well, it's inexplicable that the beaver would jump. I don't know what his dumb little head was thinking, but he jumped to his death. Oh, I'm going to jump from 35 feet. He was probably thinking, oh my God, I'm almost to the ground. Thank God this is terrifying. Or he was thinking, what the fuck is happening? I'm in a cloud. I should be on the ground. Yes. Anyway, he didn't make it. The project was, uh, not continued after 1948. The assumption is the task was completed. And there was no need to continue. Almost post-drop report stated, quote, the savings in man hours and the mortality of the animals is quite evident.

Sex ratios are maintained. The beavers are healthier and in better condition to establish a colony. Uh, they visited the beavers a year later. They found that they'd all built little dams and houses. They have parachutes now. Brad had started. We love this stuff. Yeah. We're adrenaline junkies. The parachutes are still, there's still 76 parachutes littered all over them. Well, that's not good. They quote, created some amazing habitat that is part of what is now the largest protected redless forest in the lower 48 States. Today, homeowners are encouraged to get along with live beavers instead of putting them in planes and dropping them a couple hundred miles away.

Idaho Fish and Game Officer Steve Liebenthal said it is quote, highly unlikely something like the beaver drop of 1948 would happen today. But the beavers ancestors are probably living well in the basin and the parachutes might still be around. Well, that is a banana slice. There's a small up that should make you feel good. Except for the beaver that died. I would say the people are going to kill the other beavers. It sounds like the other beavers. Well, and it is a story about how the beavers did thrive eventually. It's just they had to go through terror. Yes, hell, hell in the sky. Welcome to capitalism. Yep. Thank you.

Thank you.