The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 381 - Harmen van den Bogeart - (Live in NY)

Episode Date: June 4, 2019

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine one of the earliest arrivals in North America, Dutchman Harmen van den BogeartTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCHSOURCES

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Chasing something that wasn't there David. Yo, hello Brooklyn! Yes, strong

energy. You're listening to the dollop! This is a bi-racial American history podcast. Each week I, a white guy, Dave Anthony reads a story to another white guy. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Oh my god, I'll tell you what it's about. Wait a minute, let's record this one. Roll em. Oh we should announce the places we're gonna be. Oh yeah. We're gonna be doing European dates. Stockholm. What? Boo? Hey, if the guy wants to be against it let him be against it. What the fuck happened? Now they've done a lot of bad stuff. Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. Amsterdam. Glasgow. Manchester. London.

Birmingham. Cardiff. Birmingham. Birmingham. Dublin. Not Birmingham. Birmingham. Cardiff, Dublin, and hopefully Copenhagen. 1612! Yeah, we went way back, didn't we? Yeah. Feels like we might talk about pies. Harman Van Den Bogart. Sure. Was born in the Netherlands. Harman Van Den Bogart? That's right. Okay. Almost nothing is known of his childhood. Okay. He started a... So can we just assume that his dad left when he was like two and then three of his siblings passed away? Yeah. Okay. And he had probably... He started working at eight? Sorry, we're going at eight. He probably had 34 brothers who died. Yeah, all right. Okay, great. He started a two-year

apprenticeship to become a barber slash surgeon in 1627. Like this. And a little of the kidney. Thank you. Yes, yes. It's interesting. So that's how... So we're combining those. We're allowing those two to become... Absolutely. Which is the harder job, I guess, is the question? Well, I would say that the hair, because people are more picky. Yeah, right. Yeah. If someone complains about organ surgery, you just go a little deeper. Yeah. On March 21st, 1630, he set sail from the Dutch island at Texel on the ship Eindracht. His destination was New Amsterdam in North America. Nice. Hell yeah. The Dutch colony

of New Amsterdam was a fortified city confined to the southern tip of Manhattan. Harmon was only 18 years old when he arrived. He was listed as a barber slash surgeon. So it's not just something he's saying. Other people are like, great job. Great normal job. Great benefits. They're thrilled to have him. Yeah. No, it's a great... That's a skilled laborer and a barber. Right. You don't have to get two guys. You get one guy. No, no. Yeah, it's easy. Yeah, for sure. Who's not gonna go to the guy who knows those two sort of? His listed skills included trimming beards, shaving, bloodletting, and amputations.

So that's not just sort of a fun little fact that was in the early part of the story. This is a thing that we're carrying through for a minute. That is correct. So he's... he can give you a fade and then also... Take off an arm. If your arm needs to go... That's right. Right. Okay. You're a little bit off... a little bit off the top here and then the whole left one. Yeah. Sorry, can you get rid of the right one? This looks a little uneven. And I think I want to do bangs. I'd like a Caesar and no foot. What is the facility he works in? I don't know, but I bet there's a drain. The person who sweeps up the hair is just also like taking up

the feet, like there you go. So he was placed in the Hudson River trading post at Fort Oranje, which is orange, I assume, but we'll speak the Dutch way on this one. Oranje, which is now Albany. Okay. Guys, pick your battles. Seriously, it's a place that no one gives a fuck about. Okay. This is every comedian in Los Angeles coming back from Albany. Fuck, it's... it's awful. It's like a bomb went off. It just... Fuck. And then some of you... Have you been to Syracuse? Just pronounce it correctly. It goes to Syracuse and that person goes, no, no. Do you see what happens? Rather than pronounce it correctly, he will shit on it until it goes away. Plus Cuomo's there,

so you should blow it up. Besides the fort, there was the huge Rens-Elysewik colony. So there's the fort right that they have for their military and then next to it, they have a colony that's... It's very big because this is the fork of these two rivers at Albany. Since this was a Dutch settlement, it was nothing like one of the Puritan no-fund zones in New England. Settlers had a great grand old time. The Dutch Republic in the 1600s was the most progressive and culturally-diversive society in Europe. That was reflected in their settlements, which had the same tolerance, openness, and free trade. I mean, they

killed Native Americans, but as far as progressiveness, they were on top of the heap, except homosexuality was a capital offense. But other than that, super tolerant... You're really slipping a lot of veggies in the cookies right there. Tolerant for the 1600s. Sure. Which is highly intolerant. Yes. Right. Like now we'd be like Georgia, but back then Georgia to them was like, this is like a fuck party. Like smuggling, drunkenness, and debt were serious problems in the settlement. Those kind of go together. Yeah. Harmon's training as a barber slash surgeon was very needed. What? They need a surgeon. They're like, yeah, it's

great that you're a barber. He's like, let me know. They're like, yeah, no, we need to help in here. Yeah. And a barber. Because if you're trying to cut your hair and you slice your head open, now you need a barber surgeon. You need a surgeon. You don't know what was like out there with the hair. I know what heads are. Hair was more difficult. I'm done with this conversation. Okay. You shouldn't have brought it up. You brought it up. The settlement at Fort Orania had become the center of the fur trade. It was at the conjunction of the Mohawk and Hudson Rivers. And Native Americans would bring pelts and trade them. And then the Dutch

would send them down River to Manhattan or New Amsterdam. And the Dutch had a very strong relationship with the Mohawks who brought them pelts. All seems good. It's all fucking rolling. Now we're all descendants from Dutch people. Oh wait, there's more. Never mind, there's more. And in 1634, suddenly the fur deliveries from the Mohawks started drying up. They didn't really know a lot about the land out there. But they did know that upriver, there were some really big lakes. And that's where a lot of the Beavers were hunted. And also those lakes were very close to the French. So they quickly deduced that the

French had moved further south and were now trading with the Mohawks. Okay. Now beaver pelts are the entire reason the Dutch were in North America. It's all about the beaver. It's like revenge on the nerds. For decades, debts were paid with beaver pelts. So you're like, you owe me some money and you're like, all right, here's this is part of an animal. All right, now that I know you have money, I'll stop being such an asshole. So there's the beaver fur and then the Pelt is a layer under the fur. What? Who wants that part? It's soft and awesome. The cordage of the animal? No, it's like it's like a softer furry thing.

It's softer than fur. I mean, there's gonna be, I'm gonna make a skin. It's not skin. It's a felt hat. We're made from Pelt. Okay. So felt hats are a big status symbol that you had to have your anybody in Europe at the time. You had to have a fucking felt hat. Sure. And the Beavers were like, glad this is in fashion. Awesome. Yes, that's the part that you will kill us. Thank you for taking that. Yeah. Thank you for using an inner part of me on your head to walk around. Look at that. I'm a beaver. That guy knows what he's doing. Look at that hat. He tortured a beaver for that. So everybody had the Puritans had big felt

black bonnets. Dutch officers had the felt a chapeau and later the English top hat. So hats are insanely in English. Yeah, it's insane. Let's make it larger. It's full beaver backs. I've got a big, I've got a large round hat. I look like a cunt. That's fair. That's don't get upset ladies. It's very British what I just did there. Or Scottish, whatever. Sure. Wherever gets you off the hook you asshole. Yeah. That's right. So hats are insanely expensive, mostly because you have to kill Beavers in another continent, whatever. In 1641, an Englishman wrote in his diary that he paid about three months of wages for a hat. Worth it. Here we go

again. Yeah. So it's serious money we're talking about when it comes to killing and removing the outer layer of a delightful water animal. Yeah. The French, the English and the Dutch are all competing to get their hands on the pelts that the Native Americans would get by killing and trapping the Beavers. There is still a seal. The New York City seal has a beaver on it to celebrate the North American. Dude, I thought you were about to get into seal killings. No, no, no. I was like, yeah, the New York City seal still has a beaver on it. So the beaver rides on the seals back. That's right. And that's been like that since then. That's

right. Now that's interesting. A seal with a beaver rider on it. Does he have little straps to be like, yeah. No, he hangs on with his little claws. That makes sense. That makes sense. His tail goes. Yeah, sure, sure. Jockey's on the seal. The tail whaps, whaps, whaps. The New York seal. The New York seal. Good to, good to catch up. Okay. So like I said, the pelts are suddenly not making their way to Ford or Orania, which is a big fucking deal. At this point, Harmon is 22 years old. Okay. So he'd clearly proven he was the ship because he was asked for and was given the task to head out into the interior. Oh boy, to find

the Mohawks village, talk them into not doing business with the French. Oh boy. That is, that's an ambitious, right? I was not going to cut his hair out of this one. I mean, he's not, that's not that you're not going to bribe people with being like, and I can give you something. Oh, actually, a hairstyle I'm calling the Mohawk, which I think you guys might really love. So the Mohawks and the Mohicans are at war, and they're both in the area. The Dutch had already made a huge blunder in 1626. A captain had been told to stay neutral when it came to the tribes, but he decided on his own to side with the Mohicans when they were

going on a raid into Mohawk territory. Okay. And the war party was ambushed, and the captain and three other Dutchmen were killed brutally. Rumors said one had been eaten by the Mohawks. Well, that's okay. Quote after having well roasted him. Well, I mean, just because it's human, you still want to cook it through. Yeah, I agree. But Mohawks are not cannibals. So that's bullshit. They were, however, other tribes called them quote man eaters, because it was rumored that way in the past they had engaged in capitalism, but they hadn't. But they were. So everyone's just gossiping that they eat people and they don't. Yeah. You're doing it right

now. You're part of the problem. It's true. Yeah. Let them get away from that. Okay. Okay. Thank you. That's very big of you. They didn't do it. Yeah. But everyone was just like they eat people. Yeah. So no Dutch had ventured into Native American country since then, preferring to stay stay in their little colony version of Holland. Sure. So this is a dangerous trip that Harmon's gonna make. So it's important. He's gonna do it. He made the journey in the middle of winter because it couldn't wait till spring. No, of course not. Well, they need to be repelled. Sure. Yeah, go die. For sure. Definitely do it this way. They left on

December 11th. Man, are we right where you want to go? Right before winter. Head out. Get out there. All right. And we leave at 1 a.m. All right. Make our move right. Smart. Wait, wait, wait till the storm hits. Hold on. They say it's gonna be the worst one we've seen. There we go. Boys, the Nor'easters here. Let's go. Put your jackets over here. They're slowing us down. So two men went with them. Euronymous Delacroix. He's gonna die. Euronymous's don't make it through winter storms. No. Never have. That's why it's not a name anymore.

It's from the Greek god of dying. And then the other guy was named Willem Thomason. That's fine. He might be okay. They also had some Native American guides with them. So they go out, they go further than the guy who got killed. They're venturing into uncharted territory, possibly deadly wilderness. It's a pretty big fucking deal. Yeah. Weather's very icy. And again, he's just a barber surgeon. Yep. That's right. But what better man to send? Many others. So they had packs of food along with equipment. They always do, David. They always do. It always works. They have a lot of provisions. Have I ever... They're like, look, honest to

God, we might gain weight on this trip. And then by the end of month four, it's like, all right, we're eating Ted. And here's why. And we're eating... Ted, don't do this, Ted. You drew the straw. What if I eat my own eye? Ted? No, not helping things. Teddy, Ted, Ted. Oh, God. Pull it down. It shouldn't look like it's ice cream. Stop that. So the first night, they camped in a forest. In the middle of the night, Harmon woke up because he saw the guides were quietly packing up and leaving. How great is that moment? Excuse me. Excuse me. What are you guys... What the fuck are you guys doing? What are you doing? No, no, no. Don't... No. Then we had a

miscommunication. This is... No, this is a long haul thing I was proposing. I didn't touch you guys here for free to say you could go after night one. Putting on his pants and running at the same time. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So they've packed up and left and then Harmon and wakes up the other guys and they start packing up and trying to follow them. This isn't how it was supposed to go, right? No. Yeah. Not at all. So they chase after them and it turns out that the guide's dogs had eaten all the meat and cheese that they had brought. So that's why they were leaving. They're like, fuck this. These white guys are gonna fucking kill us.

Those dogs are like, what a great idea. You guys want to do another night? Let's do another night. We should do this a bunch. Good trip. Fuck, I didn't know I loved cheese. They're food drunk. They're food drunk dogs and another thing. I'm sick of what you're feeding me. I love cheese. Hey, I love you. Bow. Wow. Wow. Oh my God. What is that? Watch my tail. Fuck. Oh my God. I had so much cheese. Cheese drunk dogs. God, these guys are mad. Chill out, man. We're fine. I hunt better after a couple. So, man, those dogs, I mean, what a ride. So now I don't understand this because they're one day into the trip. So I don't understand why they didn't go back and get more meat. Yeah,

of course. But they didn't. Of course. Right. So they were like, we've come too far. We're a mile and a half away. What would we do? Turn all the way around? I said we finished the trip. Maybe they just didn't want to go back and go. So listen, super fucked up thing happened. But we put the, at night, we put all the meat and cheese. The dogs ate it? We put in a bowl. There you go. I didn't think it was a bad idea. Take these. They're craft singles. You will. There's extra packaging. Each one is fortified with a plastic layer that will go into our ocean. All we brought were snossages. I guess in retrospect, we shouldn't have brought begging, begging strips, begging strips. Whatever the thing that makes

the dog go, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon. That's what we brought. So now all they have to eat that's left is bread. Oh, that's good. That's a good diet, right? They say to just eat bread. Yeah. So luckily the next day, they happened to run into a party of Mohawks who were so freaked out seeing the Dutchman that they dropped their packs and just ran and hid in a swamp. So then the Dutch guys just ransacked the packs and devoured quote a small loaf of bread with beans. So they got beans. Yeah. Cool. I'm also curious about the Native Americans. It just went ran in the well. They're basically ghosts coming out of the what the fuck still take your pack to the swamp. Yeah, I would have done that

hide with your pack in the swamp. Yeah. For the next few days they hiked through two and a half of foot deep snow. Well, that's the beauty of leaving in December. Yeah. That's why you do it. Yeah. As more snow is falling all the time, nine days in they had to cross a freezing stream by wading through it. Mm hmm. It's okay. They have beans. Yeah. Quote, the Lord God protected us and we made it across. We were soaked up to the waist. That's not really the Lord God protecting you. That's also what about God when it came to the dogs eating all your fucking cheese, dumbass? I don't know why God did that, though. We really could use some cheese and meats, God. Weirdo. What weird choices he makes for us. Now he's

happy that we waited through water to our way. So unpredictable. It's great. My dick is falling off from the gold. Thank you, God. Let's eat it. The dog already did. I'm not sure what you guys are talking about. I have four dicks. He's got a toothpick. So as they walked with freezing wet clothes from the waist down, sure they walked up the top of the hill and a look down and then they saw a large Mohawk village. 32 houses in a clearing about some houses are 200 feet long. Okay. They're called long houses. Harmon was the first person to document the villages and life in them. The Mohawks were part of the Iroquois Confederacy of tribes made up of the Cayuga, the Onandaga, the Mohawk, the

Seneca, and the Oneida. The French called them the Iroquois, but they called themselves the Haudenosaunee, which means people of the long house. Okay. Pretty basic. Right. They've lived in long houses. Right. Let's just, we'll be the people who live in the long house. Okay. Sure. They were welcomed and given the Mohawks were like, yeah, fucking come on in. I don't know if they were saying it like that. Yep. Yep. They swore. Come chill. We got play action. They were given baked pumpkin, beans, and venison. Okay. It's all fucking happening. Well, normally when you say that, Thomas's leg was swollen from the trip. So being a doctor, you know, Harmon, he's a doctor. No, he's not. He's a barber surgeon. You're

right. He's a barber slash liar. What is his experience in surgery? He's done a lot of cutting off of things. Sure. Great. And taking stuff out, taking the blood out of people. So Harmon cut open Thomas's leg and smeared the wound with bare grease. Just like they do today at New York General Hospital. He just buttered the wound. No, he didn't butter the wound. He made the wound and then buttered it. It was just a swollen leg. Did he think it was a baked potato? He was like, well, that he was like, well, that one's big cut it open. Well, what's happened is your leg has a helium in it and I'm going to cut it open and then put a bunch of animal grease in it. And then I don't know, then I'll give

you a haircut. You'll forget all about it. How's that sound? Does that sound good? So the village chief gave Harmony mountain lion skin to sleep with. Quote, in the morning I had at least 100 lice. I mean, that's not a great mountain lion skin. Can I have one without lice? No. So they kept heading into Mohawk territory. Sorry, one of them has an open buttered leg and the other one is now just a lice planet. Well, there's, well, he put grease on it. So that one's fine. I don't understand what the grease does. It makes it slippery for him to operate on again. No, it cleanses the wound. Uh huh. It sounded very made up. I think it's to stop it from bleeding, maybe, but he but he made it. Yes.

Well, he's a doctor. Oh, when you say you go to hospital and you need your part out, your heart taken out or one of your lungs. Sure. You want to pick something less vital? I am here to get my heart out that what is that I have a two 32 is that gonna be a problem for you guys? I just need the heart removed and maybe along with that. Will that make my life difficult? Well, they're taking out one of your hearts and they have to cut to get it out, right? So that's what he did. He got the super different. He got the swelling out. No, he didn't. Have you ever been to a doctor? Yes, you have a swollen something and he cuts it open. No, that's not the process. They put bacon grease on it now. No, bacon

grease. Have you ever been to Kaiser? Yeah, I'm going to put a couple of fried eggs in this. And can people eat from this? Do you mind? Um, so they went from Mohawk village to Mohawk village getting deeper into Mohawk territory. So the Mohawk were always excited to see them. They'd often run around thrilled and they would yell at the Dutch to shoot. Because at this point, they knew about guns, but didn't have any. So they just want to see the shooting later on. They wouldn't have that excitement. Right. That reaction changes over time quite a bit. Yeah. The villagers were set up with what were basically roads between houses, which surprised them. They're like, Oh, that's fucking crazy. They are actually

people. Right. I wouldn't have roads between their houses. Yeah. Villages often had a bear that had been captured and was being prepared for, for eating prepared, but yes, they were fattening it up. Right. Well, and also the medical uses from the grace. You can also take out all that. Put it on your wounds and your eyes. Yeah, put it on your eyes. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What won't it do? Besides stuff on the 17th, he wrote that this is six days in. Yep. Okay. Seven days in. So yeah, six days in. On December 17th, he wrote that one village quote at one village quote, a bear was being fattened. It had been there almost three years and was so tame that it ate everything given to it. So that's pretty awesome. That's

a pet. That's a pet that they're going to eat. Like you do with your setup. At one village, a bear was so tame. Harmon wrote quote, I wanted to buy the bear, but they would not part with it. Come on. Let me have this one. What is, what is his plan? What is he doing? He's fucking cutting friends, legs opens, putting grease in it. He wants to add a bear to the mission. Come on. It'll be fun with a little mascot, a live bear, a spoiled bear. Let's take him on the journey. He's probably got a ball that he spins. Yeah. No. If there's one thing we know about bears, it's that they're wildly predictable. The guy with the open legs like, you sure we should get a bear now? Yeah. Yeah, I think it'd be fun. At another

village, he wrote quote, three women came with some dried and fresh salmon, but they smelled very bad. He's keeping a diary. This is a really great update. So his, his diary is a little like Facebook. Well, this is literally the first record ever kept of someone going in to meet the, the and really anybody like in the interior of America. This is the first guy. Right. Um, the barber slash surgeon. That's right. So that same night when he wrote about the way that in the fish, he wrote, apparently things got super weird because that night he wrote quote, Euronymous told me that an Indian was planning to kill him with a knife. Well, I mean, yeah. But then, but then he never wrote about it again. And

Euronymous was not stabbed. So that just went away. Whatever that exciting thing was. No follow up. He's kind of a setup guy. Not really a super shitty diary. Super shitty diary. So he's a barber slash surgeon slash great writer. At another village, he was helping care for a sick man when two doctors arrive to heal him. They were called a soon it goes, which meant quote to exercise the devil. Harmon wrote a description of their healing service is the first description of a Native American healing service ever quote, then both of them put on a snake skin around their heads and wash their hands and faces. They then took the sick person and laid him before a large fire, taking a bucket of water in which they

put some medicine. They washed a stick in it a half L long. They stuck it down their throats and vomited on the patient's head and all over his body. They then performed shouting and rapid clapping of hands as is their custom first on one thing and then on the other. So that sweat rolled off everywhere. So that guy was cured. You mean one of the doctors? He's like, I feel way better. I should not have eaten that. How's he doing? Not well, huh? I mean, we did we throw up out of him a lot. We really did. That stick will get down in you on it. Stick goes deep. Just throwing up. It would just be so great if we were still this backward and you went to a doctor. I'm

better. Thank you. Now instead, they're just like that'll be $15,000. I mean, it's literally better than what the white guys are doing, which is putting beetles on people's necks. They threw up on you. That's crazy. Eat these beetles. Now we're going to take all your blood out. All right. Now we're going to drain you a blood after you eat the beetles. Sorry that you were put through such melt practice. So Harman got to see another healing ritual at another village. Quote. Now is this the sort of stuff he should be seeing as a slash surgeon? He's going in and saying I'm a doctor. So he's learning from other. It's like when you go to another hospital, you and I'm suggesting this isn't good. But I'm saying they're all

doctors and they're treating each other with respect. Well, one of them cut open a leg and put bear grease in it and the others are just throwing up on people. Yeah, they're doctors. Okay. Quote. When we arrived, the floor of the house was completely covered with tree bark over which the devil hunters would walk. They were old men who were all painted with red paint on their faces. In the middle of this house was a very sick person who had been languishing for a long time and there sat an old woman who had an empty turtle shell in her hands in which were beads that rattled when she sang. Here they attempted to catch the devil and trample into death for they stomped all the bark in the house

to pieces. After much stomping and running, one of them went to the sick person and took an otter fur from his hand and for a long time they sucked on the sick man's neck and back. He then spit in the otter and threw it to the ground running away with great excitement. Other men then ran to the otter. Other men then ran to the otter and performed such antics that it was a wonder to see. Indeed, they threw fire, ate fire, and threw hot ashes and embers in such a way that I finally ran out of the house. How's the patient? Well, as you can see by the otter, he's not doing great. They sucked on his back. Okay. I mean, look. How's that? I think what we're learning is that it doesn't

matter what culture in the 1600s, medicine was really shit. Yeah. Nobody knew what they were doing. Hickies were a cure. We're going to give them a blessing. I have an idea. Hear me out. And remember, guys, there's no bad ideas. Hear me out. We put an otter in his hand. I love it so far. Then we spit on him. We throw up on him and obviously we take the otter out and we throw fire at the otter. That's great. He's fine. Should we eat any fire? No, but we'll have someone roll beads around in a turtle. Okay. Well, that works. That's great. Well, he'll be fine. And the way these things worked is one time they'd bring in a turtle and roll beads around and they'd be like, he got better. Well, that

works. That's so true. Yeah. All right. We've got to recreate it perfectly. We need the bees in the turtle shell. So they kept moving and finally arrived at the most important village where Harmon would negotiate. So they're at the main Mohawk village. After being welcomed and brought into a house that has paintings on the wall, they were fed and after eating, they were berated by a lower tribal leader. So they all eat and have a good time and this guy's like, fuck you. He might've just been a doctor. You fucking shithead. Yeah, that's right. Right. He's a doctor. I don't have a fever. I'm fine. Go fuck yourself. He's doctor. Fuck you. He's great. So the guy's yelling at him. He's given him shit for not

bringing decent presents and then showed them what the French had given him. He's like, check this shit out. It's pretty fucking awesome. It's a nightful tower. Wow. Yeah. And you guys are just coming over here eating. So they had very nice shirts from the French in coats. Suddenly it gets very tense. The guy keeps yelling at him as other Mohawks quote sat so close to us that we could barely sit. They could have easily grabbed us with their hands and killed us. Harmon counted 46 Mohawk guys packed around them. One of them started screaming at the Dutch and calling them scoundrels. Thomason, who was a sailor and a super tough guy burst into tears. It's good. Show them that. Yeah. Finally, Harmon

screamed back at them and called them scoundrels and it worked. All the Mohawks started laughing. Boy, that is a tough room to predict. Okay, I think it's better. Great. What's happening? Harmon said it was all a misunderstanding. All right, we get it now. Next time bring shirts. Quote, you must not be angry. We're happy that you have come here. So they're just testing them to see if they're, you know, tough guys or not. Well, they found out one of them is not. Yeah. And you guys have to put us through that stuff. We've been through enough. We just wanted to have a bear for a friend. Then an old guy came up and put his hand on Harmon's chest to see how his heart was beating and announced that Harmon was

not afraid. So he'd passed some kind of test. What? It's the first lie detector. So then and Thomas and passed out knives scissors and other presents that they'd brought they after this altercation were like take some knives. Yeah. Hey, you know, you guys need a knives use these a lot. The Mohawks then gave Harmon a beaver coat. Okay. Not a coat that a beaver would wear a coat made out of. Oh, right. Not like a cute little like. Yeah, not like a corduroy beaver jacket. Yeah. I wish it was that. And now I want to picture beavers in that. This fun little fashionable beaver is wearing a corduroy suit. It says damned if I do damned if I don't.

So then they talked turns out the the Hurons were working with the French and that was who was coming down to trade for peltz. But the Mohawk did not trust the Huron and wanted to stay in business with the Dutch. So they made an offer. And Harmon just sat there and didn't say anything. And they're like, what the fuck are you doing? And then he was like, Oh, I don't have authority to agree to a deal. And they're like, what, he's gonna take it back to the fort and then they'll give it the old yay or nay. So Harmon was then given a house, a presence and a big chunk of bear meat. Why leave here? I know. But after this, I would never leave never leave never. Yeah, got a home and bear. So we assume some sex

stuff went on because Harmon wrote up a dictionary. Slow down, dude. Slow down. Harmon wrote up a dictionary of Mohawk vocabulary words and phrases. Fucking words like man, woman, prostitute, vagina, phallus and testicles. What's this one? Are there other words in his dictionary? Or was that it? Butthole, Blumkin. Come on. Come on. Come on. Come on. Hey, a guy's diary is a guy's diary. Cleveland steamer. Yeah, that's where a bunch of you get out of the dirty Sanchez. Yeah. Those are medical practices, you idiot. The Cleveland steamer cures mumps. Oh, he also doctors performed a Cleveland steamer. That was amazing. He also wrote down phrases like when shall you return very beautiful and to have intercourse. So what is he up

to? He's he's just down there pounding. He's there to fucking party. Beaver code indeed. Everybody who. So he's got the deal on the table. And then the three Dutchmen returned to Fort Oranje in late January. So they've been out for a while. Okay. By that time, everyone thought they were dead. Sure. They had traveled almost all the way to Lake Ontario and back. They were further excited when they found out Harman had made a deal that would cut out the French entirely. So Harman wrote it. He this whole time he wrote it. Why couldn't he just say yes? That was the whole reason he was sent there. He was like, let me go check with my dad. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know why he couldn't say yes to the

deal. He's there. Yeah, the whole point he went. I agree. But he's also just a surgeon, Barber. He's not either from what I've heard so far. I've not heard about one goddamn haircut and all he's done is open to friends leg for no reason because it was swollen. That's what you do. Let's open it. You pop it. If you got a big, it's not a pimple. No, if you got a big leg, you pop it. And so no, no, no. Oh, have you been to medical school? No. Pop a leg. Dr. Vidal says soon I'm ready. So he keeps his journal the whole time. His final entry in the journal once he got back was quote praise and thank God the 21st of January 1635. The journal was then sent to Killian van Rensselier and stored in his large

collection of documents in the Netherlands. But one thing Harmon forgot to do was write his name in the journal. So basically this journal has now just gone off and is in a big collection of stuff with no one's name on it. Cool. It's fine. Way to do it. Yep. No one thought to look at that. So Harmon's time as a hero, Harmon's time as a hero of the settlement was pretty short lived in 1637 along with a few others. It was he was reported for trading furs on his own instead of through agents of the West India Company. Okay. A very angry Rensselier wrote Amsterdam that he quote new Amsterdam that he quote did not propose to have people cheat me in this underhanded fashion. He threatened to exile anyone who

did not pay him what he had lost on the sales. And he also sent eight copies of a book called the practice of godliness. The practice of godliness. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So read that shit you fuckers. Right. Right. You're right. That same year. So he's living in Manhattan now. Harmon that same year he testified in court that he and several quote others Mary were drinking together when the wife of Thomas Becher quote not withstanding her husband's presence fumbled at the front of the breaches of most all who are present and when her husband requested her to go home with him refused to do so but continued to act as before. That's in the dictionary. So that's a party girl. So she's trying to trying to get in

the breaches. Sure. Trying to get some while her husband's like honey. Honey. Don't you think we should go soon. Can you not grab everybody's dick and honey. Can we maybe talk about that. I love you so much married. Those are my friends married. You've got on dick in your mouth honey. Well then hurry up because I'm not going to watch all of them. I really I have a line and you're right near it. You are very close to it. You're knocking on the door. You should have married a bear. No one. No word on what the punishment was for the great wife of Thomas Becher. But you can be sure that wasn't great moment. Right. At some point we know how rational everyone wants. So they're probably but these guys are a little

looser than others. But again he did write about it. So it was clearly I mean he testified at court. So what was the court case about. The dick versus Hannah. I assume divorce or just I don't know. Maybe you couldn't blow that many guys. I don't know what the rules were. I'm sure there was something insane. At some point Harmon I guess thought he wasn't making enough money because he decided to switch careers and become a pirate. Wait. So he's a barber. He's a surgeon. Yeah. And he's a pirate now. That's right. I. All right. Feels like a jack of all trades. Master of none. Emma and again this was a way to make money back then. You would all go in on a pirate ship. A pirate ship. You'd all go in

on a pirate. Sounds like a midlife crisis. Yeah. Me Dan and Hank we're buying a pirate ship. We're all divorced now. So we figured we'd just become buccaneers. Is that crazy. What am I going to do. Sit around and fucking watch football. Go on get some gold. And we also bought a bear. So he's part of the crew. So that's pretty cool. It's going to be fucking I miss my wife. We all miss our wives. We all miss our wives. We all miss our wives. Come on. We're going to make a flag and we're going to put it on our sail and it's going to be so many guys. I know I was there. I know and I know and I tell you every day it was worth it. Every day I mean that but it doesn't matter now. We know one rule our rule on the

sea were pirates. By the way have you ever thought of having a Rachel. I just think if you did a little something with your hair it would just be dynamite especially out there when we have the wind blowing in it. I think that look great. I think you'd look great with a Rachel. I really do out on the seas. I just think it would be beautiful. I feel like I didn't think the whole pirate thing through. You know what I mean. You know what I'll tell you what would really tie the hairstyle you have together. Now if you don't want to go that route if I took your ears off which I'm also completely licensed to do. No it makes your hair look now like makes your ears look a little big. I think if I were to just

lop them off that's just then out there with the sea the wind in your hair that's going to be hot look. That's a hot look. That's a hot look. That's a pirate ship that everybody's going to want to be a part of. Everybody's going to wonder what are those guys doing. You know you won't hear him say that because obviously you know your auditory function is going to be at a new low but we'll be out there. We'll be out there wind blowing in your hair blood shooting out your ears just sort of us in the sea us in the sea and we got a bear on the boat you know bears steering the fucker at this point right. I'm banging your wife everything's great we're sucking on fucking lemons you know what I mean. Anybody

who's got a sore anything I just slice that shit open you know what I mean bake potato it let that steam come out of that wound right. We got a bear driving the goddamn ship you got a Rachel you're earless right. I'm fucking banging your wife right. Bears driving the goddamn boat. Who's not going to see that and be like what is a ticket on that ride cost. Think about it. Think about it. Think about that. All right that sounds kind of cool. Thank you. So he went on a ship named Lagarse with some other guys. Lagarse means the wench. The literal French translation is bitchy girl. We're fucking coming at you. Move other boats. No. You look

fucking stupid. I'm so sick of these goddamn swells she's angry. Harmon had a will typed up and sailed for the Caribbean. That's a good start to any mission. I should get a will. So he's a plan to attack and plunder Spanish treasure fleets. He's serving as the ship Barber slash surgeon. Sure. Great. Perfect. Well I mean at that point I think it's understandable. Yeah. There's nobody else who's going to do even I mean nobody can do anything. That's right. Right. But the magicians slash Gardner of the ship. I'm a wizard and I have gills. Is that cool. Yeah it's fine. I'm a lawyer poet. And I know it. So the pirate thing did not go as they hoped they didn't really. That's weird. Made a little bit of money but

not a lot. So by 1640 he came back to Manhattan. He then hired a lawyer to get a small amount of meager back wages that were owed to him by the West India Company. So he clearly didn't make a lot of money. Right. He then landed a good job. He still got his reputation. For what. For when he went off and he didn't write his name in the goddamn journal. He sealed the fucking deal with the. He saved the whole fucking colony. Dude say give him some fucking props. Save the colony. All right. Settle down. Now Beaver's now Beaver's are dying like crazy because of him. Yeah. Let's celebrate. He's awesome. He was named the commissary of stores at New Amsterdam. It would now be responsible for all the goods going in and out of the

colony. But he's a surgeon. Is it. What is he doing. Does he need more jobs. Well this is nobody need a haircut or anything. This is a super lucrative position. You're basically in charge of everything. So you're you make a ton of money. OK. He married and would go on to have four children who all lived. Now that's an accomplishment. That's that's pretty fucking serious. Even though he lived and worked in Manhattan he made sure to keep up his Fort Oranya connections and visited up there often at the settlement. During one visit in 1643 he treated a Jesuit missionary named Father Isaac Jokes. So what happened was the missionary he was a missionary to the Huron tribes. But he was captured with two other Frenchmen and

a few Hurons by Mohawk warriors. They cut off both of his thumbs and tore out his fingernails. OK. So that's like now that's a message. Yeah. I mean that's like now. Good luck using your phone. Yeah. Oh man. Yeah. How do you. What do you do. What are you a nightmare. You can't even index finger text. You got to do this but it's still it doesn't work as well. You can't. It's harder. Yeah. Can't post to Instagram on stage easily. You also can't can't hold anything. Right. Right. Yeah. Anything. No. You got no possible thumbs. You're basically it's a problem. It's a problem. You're essentially a squirrel at this point. Well you're more than a squirrel. So he gets held by them. He the Mohawks keep him for

a year. OK. And just fuck with him. At one point they murdered one of his colleagues in front of him. And then finally Ron's Lear Swick the settlement heard about the kidnapping and they sent people and they rescued him. Quote the wound which a dog had inflicted upon me the night that I escaped from the. Do you have cheese in his pocket. Bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon. The food which a dog had inflicted upon me the night that I escaped from the Huron caused me so much pain so great a pain that if the surgeon of that settlement Harman had not Put his hand to it, I should have lost not only the leg, but life for gangrene was already settling in.

He put his hand on a bloody wound. That's a no-brainer. He clearly cut out the bad parts. What part are you talking about? The part of the leg with the black. No, no. He's got gangrene. There's a big part that's not good. So he cut out, so you are sure he did something good? I mean, I'm assuming.

Yeah, right. You know, he did it too. You know, he took a pair of scissors out of that blue water and was just snipping around it. Like, there you go. They sit in vomit on his leg. That's a pretty low bar. Wow. You should go to Kaiser.

Herman was soon made the commissary at Fort O'Ranya in 1645. And soon after, Father Jogues just went back out to be a missionary with the Hurons again. So he healed up and he was like, it was great, the first one. It was like a fantasy camp. I feel like the first run went awesome. So I'm going to head back out. Hey, guest who's excited to get back out there and hang out with the Hurons, this guy. Who's got two thumbs and can't talk about it?

Not this guy. Quote, my heart tells me that if I have the good fortune to be employed in this mission, I shall go and I shall not return. Sorry. Okay, good luck. What's, what's he oracle-ing for himself here? He's saying he's going to go out to... I'm ready to die.

I'm going to spread the word of Jesus and be killed. Yeah. Just like Jesus. Turns out he was right. A couple of months later, he was killed by a single hatchet blow from a warrior who had just been told by his tribe that they decided to spare the father's life. And he's like, oh, no. Oh, I don't think he knows what spare means.

That guy was eventually made a saint, the father, no thumbs. They don't call him, that's not the saint name. He's not the saint, he's not saint no thumbs. He hath no thumbs, he hath returned, but cannot taste. What a great thing to be made a saint. You're dead. They're like, he was awesome. Great, a lot of good that did.

So Harmon was a good businessman and loved to party. Nice. Getting a Wolf of Wall Street vibe. In 1642, inherited a house from an elderly man who had just been decapitated by a weak geese geek. By what? It is happening? A wet geese geek, which is a Native American tribe.

So the old dudes at his house in Manhattan at 47th Street and 2nd Avenue. What? We know where it was. We just know where it was. 42nd Street, 2nd Avenue. And this wet geese geek guy shows up and knocks on the door. Hello. Oh, hi.

Old guy answered and then he cuts off his head. Oh, that hurts. It turns out the old guy had been part of a party that had killed his dad when the wet geese geek guy was 12. So now it's just revenge. Payback time, right. Anyway, that led. But Harmon gets a house.

Yeah. Harmon gets a house, but also the tribe got massacred. But that happens. Good stuff. All around. You guys know that happened in America, right? It didn't go great. Dave, we're not supposed to talk about it.

Just enjoy the freedoms. There's a good part of the story. Harmon got a house. Yeah. What the fuck? Can you guys not look at the positive shit? Yeah. It's true.

Dude got a free fucking house, right? People, a whole tribe died. House. It is awesome. Congratulations. Pretty fucking awesome. Yeah. How'd you afford this?

Oh, I didn't have to. It's a fun story. So he sold the house for cash. He hung out with a soldier, a lot named Henrik van Dyke, who was a hard drinking badass with an arm rendered unusable after a Native American shot him. Oh, I thought you were going to say after his friend operated on it. Once Harmon testified in court about a drunken fight between van Dyke and a hooligan named Black Jan.

Harmon swore that he, quote, saw and heard Black Jan say to van Dyke, brother, I drink to you. And van Dyke answered, quote, brother, I thank you. And then Black Jan hit van Dyke with a can on the forehead. With a can? Yeah. I guess they're drinking out of cans. Okay.

Quote, so that blood flowed and then threw the inside over his back. So it was a bar fight. Okay. With cans, what? It's just a much stranger. I've never seen anyone start a bar fight with a can over the head. I don't know when. Not get him.

Dent. I don't know. I think cans started pretty early. We could probably look that up at some point, but no, we can't think early. Good one. Because van Dyke had experienced fight of Native Americans, sometimes he would serve as sheriff of New Amsterdam. What?

There are literally no fucking rules. Yeah. I mean, honestly, there's no rules. There should be something. In July of 1647, he was serving as sheriff and Harmon was getting shitfaced at a tavern. When his friend van Dyke came in and looked at him and said, quote, what the devil are you doing here? Be take yourself immediately up the river.

I order you to do so. He ordered him to go up the river. Harmon had no idea why, but he had basically just been banned from New Amsterdam. What? So, so he left town. What? He got drunk and then he was like, you leave town. He's like, okay, what kind of a world?

It's a super different time. Oh man, it makes you want to be the sheriff so much. You get the fuck out. Shit. All right. Sheriff. Sheriff. I would.

That would be awesome. You can just make people leave. Yeah. For no reason. Get out of here forever. Oh, sheriff. I run my town like a reality show with no rules. You're off the island.

So anyway, Harmon goes back to the settlement near Fort Aranya. And that's where, near the end of 1647, Harmon was caught in the act of sodomizing his black slave Tobias. What? Well, Dave, that's a twist. The indication was that the sex was consensual. Okay. That's a better wrinkle.

Yep. But Harmon was put in jail at Fort Aranya along with Tobias. Homosexual sex, like I said earlier, super illegal. Right. The Dutch. Punishable by death? Yep. The Dutch were very tolerant, but not as tolerant that a dude can fuck another dude.

As far as the Calvinist court was concerned, anyone engaging in sodomy willingly or not got capital punishment. Any or not. Yeah. It's like, this is all fucked up. Have you heard of Georgia? Though there was some leniency, one teen boy was forced to have sex in the court with a man in the court declared quote, although according to a law, a person with whom sodomy

has been committed deserves to be put to death, yet in view of the innocence, we have ordered that he be brought to the place where the condemn shall be executed and that he be tied to a post with wood piled around him and be made to view the execution and beaten with rods. So they were cool. What kind of, what just happened, Dave? So they were like, if you were a teenage boy who got sexually assaulted, they're just going to beat you up with rods and put wood around you.

Put wood around you? I think it's to scare them that they're going to set them on fire. You can do that once. Then people are like, it's just for show. It's show wood. It's a prop. It's all it is. Jesus Christ.

So they're not, they're not, it turns out not that tolerant. No. It's an intolerant thing. So a letter was sent to Peter Stiverson, the general director of the West Indie Company who dispensed all justice in New Amsterdam. He had a peg leg. So he knew the barber. One of my toes was bad.

He said, knee down. So Stiverson said he would, quote, act like a father over his children in ruling the colony, which he did. His dad was a strict Calvinist who saw homosexuality as a sin. And Stiverson replied to the colony that, sorry, he's in New Amsterdam. He replies to New Ornia, the fort, that he would stand in judgment of Harman when he returned to Fort Orania from New Amsterdam in the spring. So he's not going to go up there in the middle of the winter.

He's going to wait till spring. He's going to head up there and then say, you die. Okay, super weird. So Harman's promising career is over. His reputation is destroyed and he's looking to the death sentence. So it's not a great turn. Right. So even if Stiverson granted mercy, which was doubtful, Harman still would have been given

some horrendous punishment, flogging, beating the wooden horse or worse. The wooden horse? Yeah, I should have looked that up. Have you ever seen Urban Cowboy? I think it's like that. I don't know what that is. You don't know that movie? I know the movie.

Yeah, it's a guy who rides a horse in the city. So a wooden horse, I believe, is the thing you sit on and it's suspended by ropes and it does some bad things to your private area. Okay. Nope. Okay. I just felt like that was a high five. It's not a high five time.

It seems like a high five time. It is not a high five time. Do you know what high fiving is? Yes. I don't think you do. So, after all that happened to him, this is a best case scenario. He'd be sent back to the Netherlands in shame, ruin name, live a life of hell. But the good news...

I would have thought the... I feel like we've heard the shameful part of this guy and it's not being gay. No. It is the barber slash surgeon slash buccaneer. That's all... That's good. And then he has sex with a man and they're like, you have questionable character. No.

So Fort Oranje was not good at a lot of shit, one of which was keeping people in prisons. So Harmon and Tobias broke out and headed for Mohawk territory. Okay. The Dutch gave chase. So he went to the Mohawks and they were their Native Americans, people are called Two Spirits. They were totally fine with people being gay, they're like, yeah, cool, whatever. So five days later, the Dutch roll in, Tobias is caught, Harmon manages to elude them, but then he makes it farther in, Mohawks take him in.

The Dutch obviously couldn't allow a man to have sex with another man and get away with it. Right. So it's so the, wait, sorry, it's okay, hey, hey, there it is. It's okay. It's okay. In 1776, a French Jesuit wrote, quote, there are men unashamed to wear women's clothing and to practice all the occupations of women from which follows corruption that I cannot

express. They pretend that it's you should come from religion, their effeminates never marry and abandon themselves to the most infamous passion. So that's a guy writing about the Native Americans, like, yeah, they're all good with it. Okay. So they take him in, they don't give a shit, Tobias and Harmon live in together until they catch him.

Then a posse comes. They find out what village he's in, they track him through the forest. It's a winter. They're like following his boot prints. It's the middle of fucking winter. So they're literally like the times when they don't want to travel, they're like, wait, this is too important. They were so outraged, they refused to wait until it would be safe in spring.

He was cornered in a Mohawk longhouse that was full of storage, pelts, food. Harmon refused to surrender. He tried to escape by setting the house on fire as a distraction, but he was caught as he tried to run. It's quite a technique. And they're like, what was my plan? I think it's a 200 foot long house. I think he tried to set one house on fire and run out the other.

Still. We're back here. We're like around it. We're just watching it. So this is a bad idea for you. Who wants a haircut? Or more. So they bring him back to Fort Orania.

They didn't work out the whole keeping people in prison thing. So they brought him back. They're like, here we go. Don't leave through that wall. We're building it still. That's right. He throws him back into his cell at Tobias. All right.

You guys stay in here now. Swear to God. Scouts honor. Don't leave again. Yeah. Yeah. All right. We're totally here for the whole duration.

All right. I'm leaving right now. Yep. Until you kill us, we're going to sit right here. Right here. Still here watching. I didn't leave yet. Me and my buddy who I said I was going to leave.

My sex buddy. Yep. Just go ahead and leave us. All right. We're going to hang out here until you kill us. Not going anywhere. All right. I'm leaving now.

Okay. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Can you leave your horse right there? Yeah. Obviously, I'll leave the horse right there. Thank you. Not going to take it with me.

You guys swear to God, you're not leaving. No. Where would we go? That's what I'm saying. I mean, obviously, that wall is still incomplete. Yeah. But to me, like, because it's partly complete, I just see a whole wall. You know what I mean?

I finish things on my mind. Then it is a whole wall. Yep. Sucker. All right, Bill. Oh, shit. Yeah. That's right.

They quickly escaped. It's probably kind of fun. Well, Harmon and Tobias headed east and tried to cross the frozen Hudson River. They probably tried to make it to the English settlements along the Kaneki River as guards chased him. Herman van de Bogart fell through the ice and drowned. Tobias was captured, but there is no record of what happened to him. That's not good.

Yeah. New Amsterdam received word of Harmon's death in February 1648 in a letter, quote, sent from the colony of Ransir Lerswick by an Indian. The letter said, Mr. Harmon has gotten himself stuck under the ice and drowned himself near Fort Oranier. As people were chasing him to take him prisoner in the end, he did meet a bad fate. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty obvious. Yeah. The lead kind of gave that part up. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. The dead part.

It's not burying the lead. Yeah. Yeah. It's putting it on display. Which today would be at 47 Second Avenue, was sold at auction to reimburse the Mohawks because the Mohawks were like, oh yeah, these guys like money, they burned down our shit, so let's go get it. Right.

They also divvied up the spoils pirated by the Lagars at which point were owned by other people. Okay. Yeah. So they went to the ship that had taken a bunch of stuff and they're like, he was so gay, we're going to take stuff from other people. And they just took all this other shit. You know, we've always lived in rational times, it seems.

Harman's Journal of the First Trip into the Iroquois Nation was lost in piles of records. But it was found in 1895 when a Scottish-born scholar discovered it in Amsterdam among the Van Oran Salier family archives. But he had never put his name on it. So it was believed to have been written by a Van Oran Salier agent. But in the early 1900s, historian A.J.F. Van Laier discovered it was the Journal of Harman Van Den Bogart and he received credit for being the first person to document the life of the Mohawk.

Stuyafizan lived out his life on Manhattan, even after the British took over. He established a farm in what is now Greenwich Village. His farm would later become the exact spot of the Stonewall Inn. That's crazy. That's a little, that's what we would call a little, that would be God working there. His ghost supposedly has been spotted many times over the year. His ghost? Yeah.

His ghost has supposedly? Yeah. I put supposedly in, but... Oh, so you don't think it's true? I don't. Over the years, walking and thumping his peg leg on the floor of St. Mark's Church in the Boutry. What?

What a fucking insane story. What just happened? It's just bad to be Dutch in the 1600s. Holy shit. I, I, as, it's a lot to unpack there. You're sitting there like a kid who just did something bad. I don't, I think there's a lot of people in this country that aren't a lot different from the Dutch in the 1640s.

No. That's what I think. Georgia, Ohio, Alabama. Well, you know things are going good when you can hear a margarita getting made. You know you've touched a nerve when the ice machine turning on is like, well, we can all hear that audibly. We'll wait it out. Yeah, there you go.

See? So, yeah. I don't know what to make of what just happened. It's fucked. It's just crazy that you can be a hero and then you live the life that you were born to live and then you get killed. Fuck. Yeah, I don't know.

That is crazy. And what you're saying is so true. I do, you know, we are, I think it like, like the last like couple of weeks have just been like haymaker after haymaker of, my God, are we going backwards? We are going backwards. Like, yeah. And we had the, I like, all of a sudden we had gay marriage legalized. We got weed.

You could take mushrooms and Denver. And then, and then you get like the dick kick. I mean, what's happening right now, it is so fucking crazy. Hey, mate, still. I haven't heard of it, but I'll Google it. Yeah, we need to kick their dicks in. We need to stack the Supreme Court and drive them into the ground. Because because they aren't a majority.

They stole Supreme Court picks. They put fucking lunatic sexual assaulters on the Supreme Court. They need to be driven to the fucking ground. There's no more. Let's play. There's no more Joe Biden. Let's play nice with these guys. It's let's kick their fucking teeth in until they stop crying.

That's what I think. No more, no more playing nice. There's no playing fucking nice. There fucking medieval motherfuckers and let's send them to medieval land. That's how I feel. Hip, hip, hooray. And we can do it. Make Puerto Rico State, make Washington, D.C. estate, stack the Supreme Court and then

everything and everything they love. Do you want to do the spiel? Yeah, so I'll do the spiel. I did it last show. I'm sorry. Someone burst into tears. Well, first of all, thank you guys very much for coming out. We appreciate the shit out of it, truly.

So David Wallace Walls, this guy wrote a book about climate change and we saw him speak there the night, he was talking to a climate scientist from New York City who is working with the city on what to do to save New York City. And they're going to build a seawall. The seawall is going to take 30 years to build because that's how long these things take. Because of that, Howard Beach is gone. Howard Beach will no longer exist. South Brooklyn is gone, South Brooklyn no longer exists.

It will be wiped off the map, no one will save it. Many parts of Queens are gone, they will be lost. They are gone, the city will stop doing infrastructure projects, they will stop fixing the subways and those places will deteriorate and all the people that live there will be told they will not be able to give their homes to their children. It's over, those places are gone. That's climate change. You're not living in something that's the future.

Those things are already set in stone, the city knows it, they're planning it, you're living in a fucking fire and you need to act like it. It's a fucking climate emergency. We have 10 fucking years to change the way we live on the planet. Cuomo needs to fucking go and if he doesn't go, you need to scare the living shit out of him until he behaves like a man who realizes fossil fuels are bad. You need to punish your fucking politicians on the democratic side who are doing fuck all while the planet dies.

That's it. We're, Planet Change 10 is our group, join up, but the time is over to stop doing anything. That's it. Sorry to bum you out, but that, that's what it is. Yeah. Please do. Thank you very much, guys. Appreciate it.

Thank you.