The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 383 - Frank Gardiner - Live w/Nick Cody

Episode Date: June 18, 2019

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Nick Cody to examine bushranger Frank Gardiner. Recorded live in Brisbane. SOURCESTOUR DATESREDBUBBLE MERCH

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We're listening to the dollop. By racial American history podcast. Each week I, hair, haver, man of shirts, red shoe owner Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. That's the ruse. That's the gimmick. We have a guest.

You know him. You love him. The terrific Nick Cody. Give it up ladies and gentlemen. New father Nick Cody. There's another one. We've got another one. He made a, he made a thing.

The semen works. Yeah. Unlike yours. Against all odds. Yeah. Yeah. I said it couldn't be done. Yeah.

And you did it. I done it. Yeah. I done it come. Yeah. Yeah. Awesome. And then a baby came out.

Yeah. That is. No, no, no sir. Do not yell show us. No, no, no. By the way, nobody yells show us again. Yeah. That's not whatever you think you were doing.

It was bad. Yeah. You're a bad person. Yeah. Woo. The year of our Lord. Hmm. The year of our Lord.

I don't believe so. Francis Christie was born in Scotland to Charles and Jane Christie. Excellent. Yeah. It's got a long trip ahead. I reckon. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Frank's father brought his wife and family to live in Australia arriving in December 1834. Okay. The Christie's youngest child died on the journey on the ship. What is the protocol? The mom had 18 kids.

18? Five lived. Five lived adulthood. Five? Yeah. There's a lot of bad stats you're tossing around here. Yeah. Five.

I know now as a new dad, like the thought of bringing one baby on a plane, people will roll their eyes. But if you fucking bring 18 kids. Yeah. No. On a six month cruise. Yeah. You guys, people are like, oh, thank God.

Yeah. Jesus Christ. Go hug your dead brother. Hug your dead brother. The one that was coughing a bunch. Go get it. Get that cough. I can't keep an eye on all of you.

What am I, a dugger? Let's go. You probably don't even notice. You're like, didn't we come here with more? Am I great? We have five now. I know we had less than 20. Who knows?

Well, there's five. They're five out of 18. Yeah. There are only five kids. The mom kicked it also. The mom also died? No, I'm kidding. Jesus.

She's still alive. I'm kidding. 13 is normally a baker's dozen. But if you had 18 kids and you lose five, I think calling it a sad mother's dozen. Sad mother's dozen. It's a great Rolling Stones song. That's a new show coming out. Sad mother's dozen.

It's a carnival. I had 18 and lost most of them. Why on an all new sad mother's dozen? What do you do when you have 13 children die on a boat? You toss them? Yeah. Yeah. I just throw them over for shark food or whatever.

I'm not dead. Oh, sorry, Gus. Oh my God. You threw out the live one. Why did we bloody move? Bye. Do you think after like eight dead kids, you're like, all right, whatever, another one. Like at some point, you just got to not care.

Yeah. Yeah. By the way, I can already sense the comments coming at us. Yeah, yeah. You mean it's not fun to make fun of 13 dead babies? Yeah. Maybe it is. Maybe at some point, maybe when it's over like eight dead babies, then it's like starting

to get funny again. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a joke that was like funny at first and then not funny and then it's like really funny. You're like, all right, you beat me into submission. So when Frank got here, five years old, right, Frank Christie. So also on board the ship was the wealthy Mr. Henry Monroe.

He was from a Scottish family of professors, many professors in the family. After arriving, the Christie's move to Borough Creek in New South Wales to work for Henry Monroe. Okay. So it was a master's servant sort of arrangement. The, wait, Frank was a master? No, no, Frank's dad was the servant. Okay.

To Henry. Okay. All right. Talk, I mean, you can only picture a Scottish guy in that role. Of course. I'll do it if you like your fucking prick. Spot a T you cunt. Sorry, what?

Did you spot a? No, I was asking if you like one cube or two. Piece of garbage. What? Would you like a cube and your tea? Yeah. Okay. There you are.

Have a joy out of you. No, no, no. The last part. The last part. Oh, a little hymn. I'm having a hymn. I'm hymn. Yeah.

Swap bastard. I love the situation we've got ourselves into. You're very chirpy for a bloke that's lost so many kids. Yeah, listen. After you lose seven, it becomes a bit of a giggle fist. To the Facebook comment section. How dare you? The Broke Creek area was known as Little Scotland.

Oh boy. Many of the settlers continue to speak Gaelic in the area. So they're, you know, doing that. Holding on to it. Henry Monroe, as I said, came from a family of professors. So Frank got a decent education. He could read and write and do math. He also learned Bush survival skills, horse riding and rounding up cattle.

So he's totally full Australian. Jack of all trades. Yeah. Stock standard professor. Yeah. You guys still do all that, right? I have to. Yeah.

No choice. When Henry moved to Victoria, Frank's family went with him. Frank's father, Charles was penalized for running a Sly Grog shop. A Sly Grog shop? Yeah. So like a speak easy? Yeah. Basically speak easy.

Except it's sly. We got it. We got it. Don't you feel like you can speak so easily at the shows? A year later, a local paper reported, quote, fashionable marriages married a few days ago. Henry Monroe Esquire of, fuck it, son of Professor Monroe of Edinburgh College to the late Miss Christie. What just happened? Well, Henry Monroe just married Frank's mom.

Wait. She's okay? Yeah. She was married up to Frank's dad up until this announcement. Turns out Frank's mom had started banging her boss, Mr. Monroe, way back when they were coming over on the ship together. And then she left, she left Frank's dad, Mr. Monroe. Wait. I thought she died on the boat.

This is a different person? Yeah. No, I made that up. Oh, well. I was kidding. Quit pulling at the heartstrings so strong, David. That was a joke. Yeah.

Well, very dry. Good Lord. Got to be good rude if you take on 13 kids that aren't yours or whatever. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I don't remember having six. It's yours for sure. So the boss starts banging Frank's mom and then Frank's mom leaves his dad.

Okay. So Frank's dad kicked to the curb and he just took off. That's the last, the last time he was like, fuck this shit. Frank's mom and Mr. Monroe had a child and then she died the next year. That actually happened. I don't buy it anymore. She did. She did.

Don't tell me Frank's dad just wandered off and got lost. Yeah. Yeah. We'll do him soon too. Yeah. Bloody bastard. Where am I? Oh shit.

I should probably eat my friend. So Frank is 12. He's basically an orphan because Mr. Monroe doesn't really give a shit. So he's never really been watched. Four years later, Monroe married again and started cranking out what would be seven kids. So Frank was now way back in any inheritance line. And he was quote, uncontrolled by parental influence. Okay.

So. Oh yeah. The depression hit in the 1840s. Convict transportation was still happening. Congratulations. Thank you. Fewer than 12,000 people lived in Victoria. Two thirds of them were male.

Two thirds. Of the 12,000 people living in Victoria. Okay. Dude heavy. Yeah. Sausage Fest. Sausage Fest. Bloody Sausage Fest.

Yeah. It's where the term Sausage Fest came from. It was what they used to call it. It's a festival of sausages. That's right. But it's a euphemism. Hey. Hey.

Of course it is. Yeah. Piece of crap. What? Huh? Exactly. Yeah. It's a bit of a Sausage Fest.

Yeah. It's a hard. It's hard to have a conversation with you. Wait. Frank's prospects for finding a lady did not look good. He started drifting around and getting into trouble. When he was 21, he and two guys stole 37 horses from a Mr. William Morton.

That's so much work. Too many. Yeah. That's pretty high. Well, he probably just assumed like 80 of them would die. So he's like, fuck it. Let's over do this. Plan ahead.

It's stolen from William Morton. And then they headed to Portland, a journey of 350 kilometers. Here we go. Now, Mr. Morton found out the horses have been stolen two days later. He spent that night making bullets. Well, I mean, what a different time. Yeah.

Okay. I made a good one. I love that he's got 37 horses running away from him at high speed. And he's like, gotta go to the shed first. Got some tinkering to do. Got to build some stuff. Then we'll get on the road.

He also wrote letters to the police in Portland and Adelaide asking them to be on the lookout for his horses. What do they look like? The letter would have gone well. Horses. You know what horse looks like? It's just like, ah. It's 37.

Yeah. They're traveling in a big park. But those 37 would be in front because the letter would have gone on horseback. You know. Yeah. Fair. That's a good...

You finally get the letter. Did you say 37 horses? Yeah. Fucking ages ago. Like 900 horses. Well, did you see a pock? A strong pock. Frank stopped in Dunkill.

Yep. All right. Dave, what Dave's eyes do when he presents a word that he's not sure of where he just like thinks he's going to get caught? Just sort of looks up like, any one going to be an asshole? Okay. Let's keep going. Anybody going to yell at me?

Anybody going to shout? There's been no rush. He thinks he's totally... No one's coming after him. He spent the day getting shit-faced. Found out there were horse races going on in town. Entered a couple of the horses in the races. What a legend.

Fuck, I love this dude. And he won. He won both races. Then he wrote a letter to an auctioneer in Portland saying he was coming with 37 horses for sale. Quote, I have sent my representative, Mr. William Troy to Portland with 33 head of horses. Oh, there's four gone.

33 head of horses. Oh, boy, here we go. Yeah. I don't know what happened. I think I do. I wish you dispose of the same by the hammer to the highest bidder. I remain, sir, yours, obediently, William Taylor. Lake Mingo Murray River.

He gave the letter to the local pub owner to send, and the local pub owner forgot to send the letter. Sure. Well, it's not a post office, so it's an interesting call. I think back then everything was like a post office. You just go to a guy and go, can you? Apparently not. I'd say it was a good post office.

Well, no, it's a no. Yeah, it's a no-st office. So two days later, Morton arrived and went into the pub and talked to him, and the pub owner showed him the letter. He's like, oh, yeah, this guy. 37, you say? So that rings a bell. Oh, shit.

But Morton took the letter to a legal court representative to open it, and they opened it, and now he knew where Frank was going with the horses. And Morton and some police raced to Portland, riding 65 miles in one day. That's a lot for a horse. Yeah, yeah. Maybe, I mean. For the horse. Not for the guy.

The guy's like, oh, shit, that was supposed to be tuckered up. No, I mean, your ass would be so sore, I think. OK. Speculative. I also like the idea of the guy opening the door, and someone's there with 37 horses, and he's like, fuck, I've done some drunk ordering again. Uber Eats, what are you? So they got there, and the horse thieves were sleeping, and so they arrested him.

William Troy was outraged, saying, quote, oh, you have done a heavy trick. You've come here with guns and pistols and swords, and one man with a big whip around his shoulders to take three unarmed men asleep in bed. What a sassy little prick. Oh, let me guess, you're here because of the horses we stole? God, you guys are so predictable. Can't wait till we're up walking around with our guns. Yeah, it's night time.

So Frank was sentenced to five years hard labor. OK. He was put in the Pentridge stockade, which had just been built. The August newspaper was concerned about the stockade, quote, the inhabitants of Pentridge cannot perceive how a body from 40 to 50 men, including many of the greatest ruffians who have infested this and the neighboring colony of Van Diemen's land, can be kept under proper discipline and controlled by just five men. So there's five guards for like 50 dudes.

50 lunatics. Yeah, the worst. Just watch 10 each. Yeah. Yeah, 10 each. That's not bad. No, especially if they're lunatics. Yeah.

Turned out to be spot on. Three months later, Frank and six prisoners attacked the guards and escaped. They put out Frank's description in the papers, quote. He has 37 horses. And he's Scottish. Keep your eyes open. Real prick. I love that not all of them joined in.

Like there was 50 of them and they only got six. Yeah, everyone else is like, nah. 44. We're a little bit scared. Yeah, it's like the more of you help, the easier it's going to be. Nah, you boys do what it's going to be going to do. We like a Cinderella story. So they gave a description of Frank in the papers, quote, five feet eight and a quarter

inch free settler with brown hair, a shallow complexion and hazel eyes. So everybody. Meow. Yeah. Yeah, he's a white guy. Yeah. A gold rush had just kicked off in New South Wales and Frank decided it would be better to become a robber instead of being a minor.

Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. They dig it up. Then you just take it. Yeah. Yeah. The way God intended.

Yeah. On the 20th of July, 1853, a private gold escort was robbed in Central Victoria, eight armed men ambushed a coach for policemen and the driver were wounded. They stole 145 pounds of gold and 700 pounds in cash. Wow. It's a pretty good fucking haul. 700 pounds. So at this point, they're just weighing money too.

Well, they got money and gold in the coach. Yeah, but it's 700 pounds of money, or is it pounds the currency? Like English pounds, like it's a good. Well, you should say English pounds. I wish you were the only one up here that didn't have that thought. How much money is it? It's 30 pounds. Heavy too.

Good haul. Kilos, mate. We're on Kilos. Yeah. Yeah, please. Respect. I mean, what world has anybody ever weighed money and that's the amount of... Oh, Dave, I'm sorry.

How much? How many dollars you want? Ah, like about eight pounds. Oh, I mean, you're talking about... You put it on the scale. This is a great Abadacus Nello bit. How many dollars? Eight pounds.

Pounds are English. That's how many I want. Eight pounds. What are you talking about? Of course I'm English. Huh? I'm saying I want eight pounds of money. That's dollars you're talking about.

Yeah, give it to me in pounds. Well, that's not the currency you're going to use here. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Deutschmarks. How many pounds? How many pounds of Deutschmarks you want? All right.

So, after that, a mob of 400 men set out chasing, quote, the bloodstained villains on foot and horseback. While they searched, Frank went to the town the coach had come from and just hung around for a couple of days. Okay. So, they all tear off and he's like, I'll just go where they came from. Yeah. Okay.

Finally, after a couple of days, he was just hanging out drinking and someone spotted him and grabbed him. You're five foot seven with brown hair and hazel eyes. We all are. Oh, shit. Of course. Yes, I love one, yes. How many pounds you want for the horse?

Oh my God. Oh, God. So, just looking, that's not how most people look. They grabbed him, quote, the wretch was taken in bed on the following Saturday at MacGyver Dickings where he was lying, booted and spurred with a female as abandoned as himself. What? What does that mean? So, he was in bed with boots and spurs with a woman.

Which is, I'm not fucking with socks on is a thing, but keeping spurs on seems very dangerous. Are your spurs on? Yeah. I'm into it. That's how I fuck. How did you get your pants off? Well, I took them fully off and then I put the boots back on, saddled up like Cowboy. The mattress is ruined.

Well, spurs get a little funky when I'm fucking. You'll know to go faster if I hit you with the spurs. Oh, Jesus. Ow. Come on. Hurry. Mush. So, also, he is an ill-looking fellow named Christie at about 26 years of age whose life

has been one scene of crime from first to last. The paper said Frank confessed to the crime, the rest of the gang were rounded up. One of the gang turned snitch for a pardon and a 500-pound reward. But Frank somehow convinced the authorities he was not the escapee Christie. He said his name was not spelled with an IE, but with a Y. We got the wrong guy. He matches in every way except for the last letter. So close.

His first and middle name were Christopher William, he said, he had nothing to do with the robbery. It was so easy to lie to people back in the day, like nobody could figure shit out. You just literally could say anything, they'd be like, man. You just write your name on the jail cell wall and be like, I just put my name up there. He ain't lying. He did put his name up there. It's spelled differently.

Can I go? Absolutely you can. We're not savages. Get out of here. We'll find the right guy. He holds up the cash and goes, do you think I could hold 700 pounds in one hand? I mean, this guy's story couldn't check out more. This guy, straight shooter.

Wish he had clothes on besides just the boots and spurs. That'd be nice. So this guy turned snitch. Frank is let go. Six months later, Frank and a friend arrived in the town of Yass with 15 horses for sale. Yass. Yes. Yes.

Yass. Yass. Yass. Yass. Yass. I don't give a shit. He racked up a big bill for food, grog, stabling and accommodation. So he's in this town.

He's just racking up, racking up charges. And then he sat in the pub and forged a receipt for the horses and then gave it to the local auctioneer who looked at it and was like, this is really bad forgery. And then Frank and his buddy got arrested. Okay. Wow. Yeah. Okay.

Because they noticed the brands were off on the horses. How hard is that to lie about? Apparently hard. No, it's just, okay. Frank was now calling himself Francis Clark. So he was not ID'd as the guy who would escape from prison for which he would have been hanged at this point. Yeah.

One of those names different. So clearly it could not be this gentleman. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. And jokes on them, he paid in Bitcoin and they're like, that's not going to go up at all. How many pounds do you have?

On March 30th, 1854, he was sentenced to 14 years hard labor and sent to Cockatoo Island in Sydney Harbor. Well, it's a cute island name. Yeah. It's a beautiful place. You just get to play with birds. Yeah. It's a very nice spot.

Is it? Cockatoo Island. Yeah. And then they were digging a massive dry dock for ship repair out of the Sandstone Island. Yeah. And that doesn't sound fun. Yeah. I have no idea what it is.

And it sounds horrible. Dig a dry dock. Dig a dry dock in the water. Yeah. Interesting. This feels like a Greek myth. So the prisoners would move giant masses of stone, quote, a gang of 10 or 12 men pass a rope around a block and tilt it over on wooden rollers.

And then in reality, commences the slovenly rude and dangerous work of moving the stone a distance of two or 300 yards along the side of the dock. The men tug and strain and hello. And at the end, the unwieldy masses moved a few inches. Is this the start of Limey's? Hello. And definitely you could definitely picture some music. Hello.

Yeah. He's an old English expression, meaning to urge on hounds in a hunt. How explain the applicability? What does that mean for this? I think the newspaper writer was just getting excited when they got the job done. They were all like, ah, OK, fuck off. Feels directed at me. But OK.

Frank did this for five and a half years. Oh, fuck. But he's fucking buffed. Oh, that's nice. He's been so shredded. He's so fucking buffed. He's not lifting with his knees, though, is he? No.

He's fucked his back. Well, this is before they knew technique. He's just got giant shoulder muscles. Yeah. Little wiry legs. Yeah. Then he was granted a ticket of leave on December 1859. He was to remain in the Carcore district and report to the magistrate monthly.

Frank and a friend opened a butcher shop. For sure. I was just going to say, when are they going to get into the cured meats? Yeah. That's the next question. It's time to get into meat. Absolutely. Frank would supply the cattle and his friend would slaughter and sell the meat.

OK. Sounds pretty straightforward. Yeah. Yeah. No flags thrown there. It's only up and up? Yeah. Well, until he was arrested for stealing cattle.

Oh, OK. Yeah. All right. So. We've got no cows here, mate. Just a shitload of steaks. Do you see any fucking cows? I don't see any cows, mate.

What are you talking about? Cow is smell. I would never. How do you prove they've stolen cow? I guess they had to catch him in the act. Oh, OK. He's right. Once they're slaughtered, you're like, oh, I think that was mine, but they're hard to

tell from the inside. Why'd you grind them all up, hmm? Little suspicious. So again, he's arrested. He uses an alias and was released on bail. Wow. So easy. He's now calling himself Frank Gardner, OK?

There was a gold rush in the snowy mountains, so Frank headed up there. Sure. Right? Right. It was summer and people noticed there were a lot of skeletons of cattle up in the treetops. In the treetops? What? Australia, man.

What, are they dropping from plains? I assume, knowing Australia, that the trees are poisonous and they kill cattle. This is before we had the shallow bushgrave. We used to just throw bodies into the treetops and someone went, go under. We're like, fuck, of course. Seems a lot easier. But if I go to a place and there's cow skeletons in trees and my arm is going to leave. Yeah.

There's cows back. This is a really bad place. Well, someone's throwing sick cows up there. I mean, that's the only thing this could possibly be. Or they're just cows that were like the leaves up top are real good. They got sweet berries. How do we get down? Oh, fuck.

Shit. OK. Well, you're close. What? Tree? Climbing cows? On you, you could take cows upstairs, but not downstairs. That's a real thing.

But I had no idea they could climb trees. You can't take them up trees. What the fuck? Can you talk about upstairs? Downstairs? Yeah. Cows don't go downstairs. They don't go downstairs.

That's why so many cows. What's taking the cows upstairs? Just shout around the rental property. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You think cows don't want penthouses too? Mate, mate, I hope you like the bedrooms because you're going to be fucking staying

there. We'd like to see more properties. Well, that's probably not possible for you. Your cows. So I don't have elevators. There are more cows on each level because it seems like the higher up we go, there's more cows. Yeah.

Well, we didn't know they couldn't go downstairs when we started showing a lot of these units. So this is a two-bedroom, two-bath, four-cow, and we just want security in last month. And again, yeah. There's cows. Sure. Yeah. Can we take them out? The best thing we can do is toss them off the building into some trees.

But there's a fee for that. So, okay, so it turns out it's because it's snowy mountains. So it snows so much that cows were eating the leaves on the top of the trees standing there and then the leaves would run out. So they'd be like starving to death and they'd die and then they'd be on top of the tree when the snow melts. Then the snow would melt. Yeah.

And that would look very silly. That's how cows work. Not anymore. These are classic cow facts. Do you not watch Planet Earth with David? I watch Planet Earth, yeah. There's a whole one about cows and trees. The Australian tree cow.

These cattle are some of the largest in trees on Planet Earth. I don't know what to do for you. This is totally on you, man. You guys got to learn down. I would have gone upstairs. The tree was dumb. Oh, God, it's shitting. So that was my own little, it's for me.

These shitting cows are some of the largest. The deposits are the biggest on Planet Earth. That would be terrifying though to just eat a bunch of food and have a nap and you wake up and then the floor has just disappeared. Oh, fuck. And your cow. See, watch your cow, buddy, like, fuck, Frank's dead. This is not good.

Is this my box party? Yeah. What the fuck did they end up? What did we do last night? It's like the hangover, all right. You got a real tricky mic over there. So winters could be bad is what we're saying. Sure.

Yeah, for tree cows. So Frank did not make it through the winter. He was like, fuck this shit. Oh, he lived. He went back down and robbed a male coach. It was his first robbery of a male coach. He did it with two men near. Well, that's how you do it.

But if it's a male coach, you got to bring guys. I think you know what that means. He wore a disguise. They tied up two passengers and the driver. They tied to a tree and then they met off with five men. Not a cow tree. Oh, no. The amount of ways he's already changed his identity, I'm surprised you even have to

wear a costume. You just turn up and say, I've got glasses and a fake mustache on and people are like, fuck, fair enough. All right. If you say so. We won't be able to find you. Well done. Plus, I changed my name.

Well, I mean, this case is going to be open forever. I don't know if they're going to find the understatement. Hello. I am a Chinese guy. Well, you heard him. He's Chinese for sure. So around this time, he teamed up with Johnny Gilbert. Gilbert was born in Canada, but moved to the Victorian Goldfields when he was 10.

He was a teenager when he hooked up with Franco, also brought in a friend from Cockatoo Island named Johnny Paisley. Two Johnny's? Yeah. Back then, was every Johnny just shady? Yeah, and Johnny shady was there. Hey, I'm straightforward. With the gold rush stealing from coaches, you can make a nice living that way.

The gang would hand out money to local supporters like Robin Hood, right? So they'd get a whole group of people who'd back them up. Their image was that they did not rob the poor or ladies and did not use violence unless victims started it. Unless victims started it is a tough one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's... Fucking victims.

Always starting it. Would there leave me bees? I said, give me all your money, and he punched me, so self-defense. Yeah. So he's... Well, I had to shoot him. We had to kill him. He was trying to stop us from robbing him.

We're the victims. Let us do what we need to do. So... Sorry. That's okay. I forgive you. The local police were not well equipped at this time. Sure.

Four horses were untrained and were vastly outnumbered by criminals and their sympathizers in New South Wales. Potentially a better time. Now, around this time, there were anti-Chinese riots in the gold fields. Those were fucking awesome. We all love that. A mob chased off at the lambing flat. A mom or a mom?

A mob. Okay, that's different. The police and all the prisoners were released, and then the courthouse was set on fire and burned down. Oh, that's tough. I mean, yeah, that's hard to, you know, keep laws intact when the courthouse is gone. Well, one thing about that was all the records of Frank Gardner's cattle theft were in there, so he was now...

Jesus. A free man on that. He's got a clean bill. All right. Yeah. Well, if you don't have a courthouse, too, you can't charge someone with arson. Yeah. Shit.

Where do we try him? God damn it. I see just a weird bloke wearing a wig outside. I'm a judge. Oh, yeah, mate, whatever. Yeah, I am. Oh, dear. My gavel was in there.

That's what made it. That sealed it. Maybe if I stop holding it. So someone tried to pass off a 10-pound note to a merchant, and at this time, 10-pound notes were so large. Well, they weighed a lot, obviously. Four kilo. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. They were so large that to get one or turn one in, you had to sign for it, and the signature on the note had to match the one on five. Is it like when you win the lotto, you get the big novelty check? This is my 10-pound bill. Oh, the signature matches. But wait, I don't understand that.

So the signature had to match... Like there's a book that has the signature from when someone took it out. Oh, okay, right. And then you bring it in. Right, okay, gotcha. So the signatures did not match, so the storekeeper told the magistrate who immediately suspected Frank Gardner. Sure.

But he's done nothing wrong. Right? Yeah. So the note had been taken in a coach robbery, Frank had a friend named William Fogg who lived up and reads flat, so the magistrate sent a sergeant and a trooper to Fogg's house. Okay. So he was there. It was raining, rainy day.

The sergeant approached the front door and saw Mrs. Fogg, and then another man in the house run into the back room behind a curtain. So the door's got... Behind a curtain? The door's got like a curtain. We start in five. Let's go. From the top, just like we did in Q2Q earlier.

Let's nail this. That's why they're fucking with boots on back in the day. You never know when the cops are gonna come. That's right. Don't be ready to roll. Yeah. Plus you get on a move faster, but whatever. And so this guy goes behind the curtain, and then the sergeant looks at Mrs. Fogg and

says, who is that? and she says, a man. Be less specific. Or information, please. The sergeant pulled out his pistol. He entered the house and approached the back room. And then Frank yelled that he would shoot the first man who came in. So the sergeant stuck his pistol through the curtain so he can't see. He just sticks his gun through and shoots.

And then Frank shoots back and he hits the sergeant in the mouth. Oh my God. In the mouth. That's a fucking great shot. Yeah. No more negotiating. What's he saying? Is he giving up?

What's wrong? What? Use your tongue. I don't have tongue. What? I don't have tongue. I don't know, man, you're freaking out on me right now. We're in the middle of an operation.

I don't know what you're doing. Okay. Sorry, I had a frog in my throat. I apologize. A little bullet in the lung. The ball took effect, knocking out two of the sergeant's front teeth and wounding his tongue in a frightful manner. Yeah.

I mean. That's a shit of those bullets. Yeah. Well, you stay up all night making them, you know, if I'm not right. Get groggy around 5.30, you're like, I don't even know if I made bullets at the end. I think I made blanks. I might have a bit of blanks. I got shot in the mouth and I lost a tooch in my tooth and my tongue hurts.

I gotta avoid that next time. That's too terrible. Two teeth and a tongue scrout. Now I look ridiculous. Good God. I got to go to the orthodontist, which hasn't even been invented yet. So the sergeant shot through the curtain again. Stop shooting.

I mean, the thing is, it's like, make a move. Just from a physical standpoint, if you can't see and you're shooting through, there's a whole room, but then there's just a little area where you are, which is a door and he'll just shoot you. Well, also, yeah. I mean, it's not like a barricade. It's like cloth. It's like, I think I can estimate where he is based on the hand and gun.

So he shoots to the curtain and then Frank shoots the sergeant and it goes through his hand and into his thigh. And the sergeant staggers outside and yelled to the trooper, Frank was escaping out the back door. But it came out like... There's cows and trees. Okay. What?

What? Cranking. No. Frank. Driving a car. We're driving a car. Ear. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. Yeah. No. No. No.

And it's on, right? Yeah. No. No. No. No. No. Nice, nice shoots, yeah.

Oh, sounds like a moron. What the fuck, do you have his hand in his pocket? Left hand in the pocket, hand on the gun. Very casual, very casual shooting. He's the lannest Morriss setting with the gun. One hand in my pocket and the other one shooting through a curtain. So the sergeant staggers outside

and says that Frank is escaping out the back door so the trooper runs around but there's no back door. It's like an escape room. So he runs back out front as Frank is coming out the Frank door and a front door, the Frank door. It's also a Frank door. I mean, if there's just one. And he turns and shoots the trooper in the temple.

Oh, fuck. Yeah. The bullet did not crack his skull. What? It's like a BB? Yeah. Well, no. Well, now my sideburns look silly.

I've been shot in the temple again. Dude, ow. Damn it. The bullet was later extracted and it had flattened like a coin. What is this? Is this due to Terminator? Just a bullet flattens like a coin? I don't think they're bullets.

I think he was just making spit balls in the night. Just wetting toilet paper in his mouth and rolling it up. These will stop him. So it turns out Frank had been shot by the sergeant. So now all three guys are shot and then they all start to wrestle slash fight in the yard. Frank was much stronger because he spent all that time on Cockatoo Island. And so they can't subdue him even though the trooper pinned his arms behind him and the sergeant was bashing him on the wrist elbow temple in forehead

with a hammer headed riding crop. The wrist is a weird place to start. Yeah. Get his wrist. And I think they all finally learned they listened. Don't bring a gun to a fist fight. So Frank is still fighting. They still can't get him under control.

And Mrs. Fogg pleaded with him to stop. And Frank finally gave up and let them handcuff him. The sergeant, who had three bullet holes in him, decided he was the guy to ride back to get reinforcements. So he took off and immediately got lost because he had a concussion. The struggle's real. I'm a cop. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. The trooper also had a concussion because he got shot in the temple. But he's lucky. Yeah. I've got a real bad concussion. I think I could see a cow skeleton in that tree. No, that's really a concussion.

I've seen some crazy shit. That's an actual. So you're from Australia? So the trooper is worried because he's in an area that's just known for thieves and criminals. And then the fogs went around to all their neighbors asking for money because they wanted to collect enough for a bribe. And all their neighbors pitched in and they got 50 pounds and they gave it to the trooper who then released Frank.

This trooper's an easy buy. Yeah. Oh right, yeah. And then the trooper went back and lied and told his fellow cops he thought the sergeant died on the road so he tried to transport Frank alone but was ambushed by Bush ranger Johnny Pisley. Okay.

Great neighbors. At this point, what? Great neighbors. Yep. It was a better time when you knew your neighbors. Frank shot a cop in the head again. Come on. Bar a couple bucks.

This is all we have. But yes, obviously. What's some of this towards the bullets you're trying to make too? Because they just seem really bad. They're called flatters. Yeah, they're flatteners. Yeah. Yeah, when they hit a guy, they just whoop.

Yeah, cause a headache. They're made out of mud. Sure. At this point, the authorities put together who Frank was. The man who escaped from Pentridge stockade. The man released from Cockatoo Island. The man they gave bail to at Lamling Flat is all the same guy. He was calling himself Frank Gardner.

So Frank went and recovered in a cave for a couple of months. A couple of months? Is he a Flintstone? I mean, he had been shot. Still, two months in a cave? Yeah, why not? It's your fucking bush ranger. Okay.

A vacation. Fuck you guys. It was not bad. It was not good, but it was not bad. He knew if he was ever caught that he'd be hanged. So he decided to just become a full-time bush ranger. Which is what he kind of already was. No, I'm going to go pro now.

I've got to back myself here. Killed heaps of people. I just shot a cop. I lived in a cave. I think I'm fucking good to go. I can wrap an occupation around this. Then I'm going to let me back into butchery. Another goldfield opened up north of Lamming Flat,

which meant more money was going to be on the road. So he robbed male coaches and the newspapers liked his style. At least media is consistent. Yeah. He didn't mess with women and he said good day when he left after robbing people. That's nice. That's sweet. Good day to you.

Good day to you too. I'm furious, but you are a gentleman. You really are. Someone sweet. Sweetheart. Between the shootout at the house and his robberies, he'd become a celebrity. Frank Gardner was now the most famous man in New South Wales.

Early in 1862, he put together a gang with Johnny Gilbert and went robbery crazy on the road between Lamming Flat and Lachlan. Okay. Order up. You guys want a beer? Sorry. At least it's cool. No, bottle opener on this side.

Oh, use your teeth. Tough guy. Don't you? Not that tough guy. Come on. You do squats or whatever. I see those Instagrams. Yeah, deadlifts.

That's using your legs and your lower back, not your fucking teeth to open a bottle. It's all the same to me. I thought you were Australian. I've been skipping teeth day at the gym. You got me. Come on. Five more, Nick.

Five more. Push it. Your teeth are gonna look fat, you baby. Lift it. So, a reporter, quote, surrounding roads are so infested by bush rangers that people quite look to be stopped. A man of the name of Gardner is the hero.

He is described to me as a tall, fine-looking man and conducts his business in a quiet and rather gentlemanly manner. Because he said good day. People are like, he's a class act. Hello, good lady. He doesn't mess with the ladies. He's so smooth, these bullets melt in your mouth. He shot my chatty husband in the mouth

and I've never been happier. So, with all this crime, the police organized. Up until now, now it had been a thrown-together collection of local police forces. They were to be disbanded and the, quote, new police were to be launched. Now, essentially controlled in Sydney, they were better equipped, militarily trained

and operated like the British-controlled Irish constabulary, whom the Irish hated. So, they had nightsticks that they just spun around. That's kind of the organization. Yep, and they hit little drunk guys on the head. Right, yeah. Whoo. There used to be pretty shitty cops nearby,

but watch out, because now we've got really good ones fucking ages away. Don't be committing no crimes. Two reasons for the new force were the lambing flat riots and the rise of bush-ranging. The cops came from the upper crust of society. You had to be a proper sort of chap to head the force at the Lachlan Goldfields.

Sir Frederick Pottinger was chosen. He was a baronet. That means he's got a deep voice? Yeah. A baronet is the lowest... If that's what you caught barons in, I got a bunch of them. We're gonna eat big tonight, boys.

What are you doing? Stuckers. Crack their heads. That's where the good meat is. Too soon? I don't know what's happening. Yeah, yeah. I mean, the King, Queen are here or whatever. No, no, it's Harry and Meghan.

It feels like it, though. God, that's just been a whirlwind. I've been just stuck to the TV the whole time. Oh, him and those chinos. It's just like, yes. Finally. And it rained. And I think they brought it. I really do. I really feel like Meghan and Harry brought the rain. Oh, Dave, I'm crazy because I'm the only one here

watching the footage of these two. The royals among royals. I mean, honestly, could they be a better couple? She's so down to earth. That's the kind of prince. He's like a Disney princess. It's just a beautiful story. And they're here.

And my God, it's all we should talk about. Oh, imagine something serious happening in the world. Well, thank God it's not. Two people from a made up royal family. They're not made up. They're the real king and queen spawns. They were made from two people who are better than other people. Because a long time ago, they made babies,

and now the babies are here and they're walking around. Dave, stop. I'm not going to be able to focus. Well, these guys all, they're their servants or whatever. I'll explain like I did about my family situation. Sure. Once upon a time, a king done a cum. I've come it. Yeah, yeah.

Just got a little crown on his pecker. I shall night you. It's just the foreskin, but they've cut triangles into it. So it looks like. Heavy as the head. Hold on. The little king is coming out of his cave. Oh, there is a princess in the.

Hear you hear you. The king has cometh. Come here, come here. Give it the old one gun salute. You know what I mean? But my bullets are harder than Frankie Bowers. It's royalty should have to do that to their penis. That's without question.

Um, okay. A baronet back to the right. Sorry. What was that 30 minutes ago? Say catch barons. Yep. So the baronet is the, a member of the lowest hereditary titled British order with the status of a commoner, but able to use the prefix sir.

That's the only upside is that you're allowed to be a sir. I think it's like the kind of thing where they're like, can we make up something for like a guy who's like a good gardener and we want to reward him? Like there's a, like it's like you're a commoner, but you get to use sir. But really that's all. So you're just like a prick. Yeah, you're like a, yeah, you're a prick. Baron, please.

But he's like the shitty cousin that no one wants in the family. Okay. Pottinger was born in India, his father was a British hero who beat the Chinese in the first opium war and founded Hong Kong. What are we in the fourth opium war right now? Yeah, that opium war is winning. Yes. Yeah.

It's weird. Lethargy seems to have set in with the opioid crisis for some reason. I can't fight. Pills? Yeah. Yeah. Pottinger had been in the army, but he was more of a socialite. He spent years in the spas of Europe with his mother while his father fought around the

world. Okay. So that's, that's, if you're a, if you're a fucking badass soldier and your kid's like, I am at a spa in Italy, like you're not happy. Right. Shut up, you're baronette. Sounds like a hurtful thing you know. So his dad died in 1856 and pottinger inherited a fortune, which he then gambled away in two

years. Fucking great two years though. Right. Oh my God. Living the life of those two years. Worth it. Yeah. Yeah.

He had so many gambling debts. He had to flee England for the Australian gold fields and he changed, changed his name to FW Parker. Okay. He had no luck in the gold fields. So he became a cop and then his mom sent him a letter telling him that he was a baronette, which he did not know. So he went back to his old name and then was rapidly promoted from trooper to a top ranking

officer in 18 months. Right. Just cause of the baronette title. He had no, he had no luck in the gold fields cause he'd find some and then he'd throw it back in the river and hope to win another three. Come on. Gold. No.

What? Snake eyes. Man, I'm cold today. I'll tell you what. So his job was to put an end to Frank's gang and he wanted to do this to redeem his family name, which he had destroyed. It's the comeback story. Around the same time potting, I was appointed to Frank had a run in with one of the leaders

of the lambing flat riots, James Torpy. Torpy was a pub owner who got the riot going with racist rhetoric against the Chinese and they became the face of the movement, movement to expel Chinese from Australia. You definitely want your face on stuff like that. Yeah. With respect for sure. Imagine if there was a woman like that now from Queensland. That'd be hilarious.

It'd be shocking. Your Trump has a vagina. So does ours. It's Mike Pence. I'm going to grab myself by the pussy. Congrats on that white vote, though. That was pretty cool. He goes, all right, Mike, you can't let us not drink in here and then say bad stuff about

us. Keep us one way down. So Torpy thought a lot of himself, he and another man were headed to Gibson station when they heard that there were bush rangers there. Of the two, Torpy was the only one who had a gun. So naturally he said they should go take care of the bush rangers. As soon as they walked into the station, Frank turned and looked at them and asked them for money.

Torpy quote, trembled like an aspen leaf, the color of his face, the color left his face and he said, quote, what is it? I'm Torpy. I'm the president of the diggers league. Oh my God, he's just a little baby. My name's Torpy. Oh, shit. I'm Torpy.

He seemed to think that him saying that he was president of the diggers league would frighten Frank. I'm a digger leader. So Torpy, scared yet? Nope. What was your question? It sounds like he was so scared he didn't even hear what the guy asked him. I'm Torpy.

I'm the president of the diggers league. I talk when I'm nervous, here I go. So Frank didn't give a shit. He was just disgusted. He was just disgusted to learn that Torpy only had a few shillings on him. So Frank looked outside at Torpy's nice bridle and saddle and said, oh, I'm going to take those. Hey, I'm Torpy.

Do your thing, Torpy, hashtag Torpy. You do it. Torpy said no. And Frank said, OK, then I'm going to take the horse also. And then Frank was so not afraid of Torpy that he just turned his back to him, even though Torpy had a gun. And then Frank said, hey, look, if you want to keep your horse, which is now mine, you have to give me five pounds.

So he's telling me he has to buy his horse. Buy your horse that I just stole without touching. Yeah. Basically. Yeah. So Torpy went around the station borrowing money from people. Hey, I'm Torpy. Can I have some money?

I got a guy robbed my horse intellectual property. Torpy's the name. So he got the money. OK, thanks guys. And then he went to the pokies. I'm on Torpy. I'm Torpy. And he gave it to Frank.

Hey, it's me, Torpy. Take it. Frank said, oh, no, the price has gone up to 10 pounds. OK. Hey, I'll be right back, buddy. Sorry, Torpy here. Hey, sorry, Frank. Inflation.

Brutal. It took too long. So Torpy went around and borrowed money from everyone. Hey, so I'm Torpy. The price went up. Woo, Torpy. And he gave the 10 pounds to Frank, and then Frank bid them good day and left. What a gentleman.

Yeah. And that's when Torpy turns around and he goes, and that's how we do it. He fell right into my little trip. Who still owns his horse? This guy. This guy. 10 bucks away or whatever the currency is, pounds? I'm not listening.

The next day Torpy told troopers what had happened and they all rode together to a station Frank was known to frequent. And Torpy's just crying. He was so rude. He's just like the meanest guy. Just say you're mean and we'll be even. You know, it's not in there, but they laughed at him very loudly. Oh, fuck.

Oh my God. The biggest laughter. Wait, he didn't touch your horse? Well, he didn't have to, because it doubled the price, Torpy. But you gave him money to not take your horse even though he had never taken your horse? No, no, no. No, no. I bought it back.

Oh, so were you a cop with a gun? Yeah. Of course I had a gun, I'm a cop. But then he was so rude and I know he's like, I'm like, well, I don't want to have anyone get hurt, you know, on account of, you know, so then I get the money and then bought it back, you know, so I feel like, you know, I told me, give us your fucking lunch money. Okay, for sure. Here you go.

Thanks, Mike. Let me know if you did anything else. I gave him my shirt and my pants. I'm Torpy. I'm pissing again. No, Torpy. When are you going to win, Torpy? Oh boy.

I told you my name, right? Oh yeah, I did. I remember now. Yeah, it's Torpy. You're new, it's Torpy. Hi. Do you need some money? Oh yeah.

To take all of it. Thank you. Yeah, sorry. Oh boy. I'm going to take your horse too. Yeah, yeah, get it. Well, I'll pay you double the top dollar and get it back. Oh, I can't win.

It's amazing how you lost your fortune, Mike. Yeah. What are you saying? That coming. Well, I had to buy my horse 800 times. People kept stealing it intellectually. Torpy again. D-O-R-P-E with an X on graph.

Yeah, Torpy. Huh? It's a Y, isn't it? Yeah, well, D-O-R-P-E-Y because I'll give you all my money. That's what I like to say. Oh man, I'm pissing again. Torpy, when are you going to get a break? I always wanted to dance.

Sort of what I felt my calling was. But anyway, you guys are my best friends. Okay. I can give you lessons, Torpy. Sure. Five pounds. Yeah, let me give you 15. That would be better.

Yeah. Oh boy. This is my best friend. We're dancing. Oh boy, how do I have more piss in me? Oh. So they rode to the station that Frank was not a frequent. And they saw Frank's horse tied to a tree and quickly ran into the house.

One of the troopers stabbed a random guy who was just standing there. That happens, bro. You just get fired up. You're a fucking first guy, I see. He's got to show Torpy now. He's a bit fidgety. It's like, fuck it, that's how you do a Torpy now. Let's go get the crop.

Oh, I'm having a beer. What are you doing? Oh no. I'm throwing money at the problem. That's what Torpy does. Let the fella stab me. He deserves it. These are the better cops.

These are the better. These are the good cops. They've come from Sydney. One just gives these cash away. The other one's just fucking stabbing. Come on! Remember the guy that used to just shoot around the curtain? What a fucking amateur.

What a rookie piece of shit. Yeah! Have some money, stab. Fuck. It's an immediate stab. Man, that guy was so fired up. Yeah, they're all like, you're a little too charged up, I think.

No, settle down. You're really flexing. First dude, I see. No, no, no. That's not how this works. It is. He keeps changing identities. One, two, three.

Let's go. Yeah! Woo! Who is he? He's a criminal. I own this place. This is my house. It's a lovely home.

Is this the first case of good cop, bad cop? It's good cop, stab cop. That's a Scottish show. So, Frank just slipped out the back door and he went over and hid behind a tree. The cops, from about 50 yards away, they just start shooting at Frank. They all miss.

And then Frank stands up and he's got a gun in each hand and he's walking towards the cops. Women are screaming, coach passengers are running for the house. The station owner's wife, couple of the cops went in the house and the station owner's wife hid

the troopers in her bedroom. And as Frank approached, Torpy fell through a window. Oh, boy, oh, boy. I'm sorry about your curtains. I'm a real clumsy boy. Torpy's the name. How much money do you need?

It's all I have. Stab me. This isn't a life. It's curtains for you, copper. Man. Well, when he said it was curtains, I thought he meant jump through the window and piss. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, dad. Yeah. All over his curtains. Yeah. Oh, boy. Uh, Frank just walked past. Everybody got on his horse and jumped off the fence.

And so Conan just won the day again. Yeah. Yeah. Um, now Frank was not happy with the coverage of his adventures in, uh, the news is going to look shit ass in the pipe up. This is no going to look good.

Uh, and the burn gong newspaper, a minor paper, they reported he stole a man's boots. Well, he was probably fucking. Um, he wrote a letter to the editor quote, the man who took the boots was in my company. And for doing so, I just, just charged him the following day.

As for Mr. Torpy, he is a perfect coward. After I spared his life, he fell out of the window. He almost died. And he fired at me as I rode away. But I hope that Mr. Torpy and I are not done just yet until we balance our accounts properly.

Oh, Torpy reading that. He's like, oh no. Oh. But I want our accounts properly. He's got a lot of pee in me. Oh boy. I do love he's gone for the immediate Ray match. Oh yeah.

Yeah. That's where the big money is in the Ray match. McGregor. Absolutely. Right away. He's in. Oh boy. Gardner Torpy too.

Oh, I don't want to be involved in that. Oh no. I fell into the toilet. Oh, we're real clumsy guy. Frank also went after the police saying he went to a gambling house and three of the troopers were asleep with their revolvers and carbines sitting in another room. And he signed the letter, quote,

fearing nothing, I remain Prince of Tobeyman, Francis Gardner, the highwayman. That's how I'm ending emails from now on. Without question. Frank was at a peak flamboyant. His gang was robbing at Will and he was always the head of the cops. During one robbery, he wore a cabbage tree hat, tight breeches, knee-high boots,

and a leopard skin-lined poncho. Someone's been down to the salvos with a bit of corn there. The hat. Cabbage. The hat is made of cabbage. He's dressed like the Jolly Green Giant? It's not made of cabbage, is it? Palm tree.

Palm tree, yeah. But he's wearing a palm tree as a hat? No, it's called a... Yeah, it's called a cabbage tree hat, but it's not cabbage. It's palm. It's palm. And you can make it... It's still like a crazy look.

It was pretty common back then, right? Sure, yeah. You can make it yourself. Like, that's what the guys who the explorers would do. They would fucking make a hat when they were out there out of the palm fronds. Look, I had to read a lot of fucking history. Oh, yeah.

No, it sounds like a doll collection, though, like the cabbage tree kids. A lot of people would put work into it. Don't make fun of hats. What year is this? That's not the kind of people we are. Take them very seriously. I like your podcast, but the hat talk...

You guys, it's like offensive. Like, my family makes hats. So, if you guys could lay off that, too. Near the town of Wombat... All right. His gang stopped at Mr. Hossington. Are we about to meet Wombatman? He stopped at Mr. Hossington and at Mr. Hewitt

and took their gold and money, 800 pounds. Hossington knew Frank because he had been a big Ben or Butcher with Fog at Spring Creek and knew Frank very well because Frank would come in all the time, but he stole his money anyway. And then riding off Frank said, quote, I hope you'll have another load for me next time. You see me come along.

What? It's not sugar from a neighbor, Frank. During another robbery, he took a, quote, handsome shawl valued at 19 pounds. He, quote, immediately converted it into a saddle cloth as a treat to his favorite horse. Nice. At Mr. Pring Station...

Is that the first pit in my ride? Oh, I love what you've done with him. This is unbelievable. At Mr. Pring Station, the gang took over for a day, quote, one of the Bush rangers played piano while the rest danced and drank brandy at Mr. Pring's expense. Well, I mean, they're getting real cocky.

Later that day, they stuck up a squatter's home and the Bush ranger played the concertina and sang, ever of thee to the host. So if you're getting robbed and it's a musical, you're like, what the hell is going on? Yeah. That would annoy me more, I think. Yeah.

They give us your money and you're like, all right. And they're like, and I also play acoustic guitar. You're like, just fucking have the money, mate. Go. I don't want to hear your song. You like Pearl Jam? No. What?

Just take my money? Come on, man. You want to hear yellow? You like Coldplay? Come on. Let's do this. Frank caught the eye of a young attractive married woman named Catherine Brown, known as Kitty.

She lived right in the middle of Frank's territory on a family farm and Frank and Kitty started having an affair which led to a crime wave in the area around the farm. Weird how that happened. It's all coming right from around this area. Her husband, John Brown, managed the farm. Pondinger plotted to get Frank. He superiors into allowing the police to wear street clothes

instead of their military style uniforms. Undercover. Undercover, yeah. Undercover. The big problem with the uniform was that it included wearing a sword which clanked loudly as the police rose. So everyone knew they were coming. Clank, clank, clank, clank, clank.

I feel like this isn't working. We should get a siren. And once pissed himself, the other one's got no two front teeth. We know your cops changed. This way! Up here! Pondinger employed Aboriginal trackers. Their skills were extraordinary. But Frank was Frank.

The Lachlan miner wrote, quote, so he robs this place. As they left Forbes, the very man they had gone out to hunt down, passed them by, took their measure and sauntered into the town of Forbes to enjoy himself, patronizing the standard and the exhibition, taking his quiet liquor and studying ye manners and ye customs of ye forebites in ye inspector's absence. He's for sure written that drunk.

He's written ye too many times. But he did the same thing again. He robbed somewhere and then he went into the town that they were coming. They just passed him by. Yeah, because they're just like, nobody would hang around. No one's going to go past us. Ye would be crazy. So there's only 800 police in New South Wales, 400 of which are in Sydney.

So Pondinger's district is half the size of England. There's forests, there's no roads, and the bush rangers knew the area. They had the support of the people. They had the best horses. They had the best and most weapons. Is this Trump saying this? Yeah. The best horses.

It's tremendous. Nobody's got better weapons, tremendous weapons. Some people are saying we've got the best weapons ever. I don't know, I would never say it. But Pondinger's efforts were starting to make a difference. Frank could see the riding on the wall and he knew it would end and planned one big last job and then he was going to escape with Kitty. It's always the one last job.

In the first week of April that year, it was reported in the paper that the Lachlan Gold Escort was carrying 8,370 ounces of gold. Oh boy. They just put that in the paper. I mean, it is like just like, yeah, it's like a wish list for him. He's like, oh, that's interesting. He should probably rub the shit out of them, right? Am I crazy?

Oh look, the Frank Times. It's a paper just for me. 870, 8,370 ounces is about the weight of Andre the Giant. Well, you've really done it with that system. Now I'm on board with whatever. Yeah, fuck metric. You should, yeah. I'm into Andre the Giant.

Yeah, Andre the Giant. How many Andres is it? It's four Andres. Oh, we're in. We'll take it. I'm going to give you an Eddie Guerrero cut. I'm going to give you a Ric Flair piece of the thing. I only use wrestlers to measure how much gold we've got.

You said it was an Andre the Giant. This is an ultimate warrior, maybe a Hogan at best. You thought you had time to sip, but there was like eight people clapping. You're like, oh, this is going to catch fire. A little later, they announced 7,000 ounces were carried by the escort. So each week, a Sydney newspaper was publishing articles bragging about how much gold escorts had carried. The gold escorts were guarded by armed police and moved as quickly as possible. They had not been robbed by Bush rangers in New South Wales.

The last time an escort was robbed was in Victoria nine years before. So Frank planned a military style ambush with Johnny Gilbert. He put together a team of barmen and farmers. It was easy to convince them when they heard how much money they could make. Their names were Ben Hall, John O'Mealy, Dan Charters, Henry Manns, Alexander Fordyce, and John Bow. Frank picked the spot for the ambush. The road was hemmed in on three sides by a steep gully, an impassable creek, and an array of large granite boulders. On the 15th of June, 1862, the gang stopped two cattle carts at a horse cart and forced them to barricade the road.

At about 4 p.m., the escort arrived and went right into the trap. Frank stepped out and yelled, Bail up! The police started shooting. The cop sitting with the driver was shot through the ribs. In the coach, a cop was hit by a shotgun pellet in his testicles. Yeah, but surely it didn't break the scrotum. Oh man, nightmare. My ribs! You got it good!

Oh my god, it looks like I'm a king! One cop opened the coach door and just ran off. It's good police work. The other one helped the screaming guy who had been shot in the testicles. Oh, that guy must have just been non-stop. Hit my balls! Woo! The driver stood up and said, For God's sakes, don't shoot me!

There's a rumor was that the driver was in on it. He was not shot. Frank yelled fire and everyone blasted their shotguns, missing everything, but spooking the horses, which ran and collided with large rocks, causing the car to tip over. The cows and the trees were like, Shhh! Stand down! Don't move! Quit doing that. One cop fell out and hit his head, so it's over.

The Bush Rangers celebrated 2,719 ounces of gold and 3,700 pounds of cash. How many Andre the Giants? So it's like half Andre the Giant. Yeah, it's not a lot of Andres. They rode off, no one had died, and it was by far the biggest robbery in New South Wales history, over $5 million worth in today's terms. Out of Forbes, potting her, yeah. Yeah, all right. Fucking good job, lads.

Someone's cat calling money. Yeah, man. I don't know if that's how things are. I thought shooting a cop in the nuts is pretty brazen, and then I heard 5 mil. Good job. That's 2.5 a nut, that's what that is. Out of Forbes, potting her started the next day on their trail. The trail led back to Forbes.

They had gone in a big circle. Along the trail, the police found smashed gold boxes, a few empty gin bottles. Then rain came and washed away the tracks. For over two weeks, they'd followed the tracks 350 kilometers before they petered out, potting her turned back. At the same time, another group of cops were following a different set of tracks and ended up at We-O-Go? Yep, all right. We literally have a spokesperson for the crowd. Yes, you are correct.

So these guys saw a horseman going to Ben Hall's house. Horseman? Half horse, half human? Yes. Love this. And he was with a sitar. What? He saw the cops and he took off.

He's one of those robbing singing tops, isn't he? I'm on acid. So this guy sees the cops and he takes off, they kept on the trail and after 20 miles found an exhausted pack horse with 1,400 ounces of gold. The police were so close, Frank had to abandon his pack horse. A sergeant, Saundersen, who was in charge of the group, returned as a hero and was promoted. It was actually an aboriginal tracker who led them and deserved the credit, but whatever. Yeah, potting her was the standard. Pottinger was still on his way back and happened to see three guys riding nice new horses.

Nice new horses? What model is that? Is that an 18? Ooh, dynamite. How much horsepower? Oh, just one. Okay, yeah. Makes sense. That makes sense, actually. He asked to see their receipts. Wow, I mean, what? It's so rude.

Yeah. What a nerd. Nice horse, what did you pay? Can you prove it? Can I see your horse receipts? You don't have them. Okay. Shit, that was all I had. I don't know. One of them spurred his horse and took off.

Pottinger captured the other two. They had a pack horse carrying a quarter of the gold and a lot of cash. The one who got away was Johnny Gilbert. Pottinger sent a message to the telegraph station at Wagga Wagga. Wagga Wagga. I disagree. To announce to the authorities and newspapers that he had captured two of the robbers and recovered a quarter of the gold.

Huzzah, he's a fucking hero. Sure. How much is that? Just like a one Andre. He didn't know, what he didn't know was that Johnny Gilbert was the guy who had spurred his horse and run away. And he wasn't running away, he went and gathered Bush rangers and came back and intercepted Pottinger. Shit, the re-rob?

Well, they had a shootout and Gilbert got his two buddies back but Pottinger managed to get away with the gold. And then he returned to Forbes without the prisoners. He had bragged about catching and was humiliated. He was now the poster boy for the failings of the new police. Yeah, yeah, get the job done. The Empire newspaper went off quote, the state of the Southwest interior is a disgrace to Australian civilization.

Which is saying something back then. Really? Yeah. There is something radically wrong in the whole system. The people have no other feeling than abhorrence for the Desperados but nevertheless they will never secour or assist arrogant overbearing and self-sufficient officials decked out in military costume. So then Pottinger went fucking apeshit and started arresting everyone. Any man slightly associated with Frank was grabbed and arrested.

Among the people arrested were six of the eight escort robbers. Good job. Yeah. Yeah, if you arrest everybody you're going to get some of them. Eventually, yeah. Now Dan Charters was one of them and he turned snitch, sort of. He said Ben Hall and John O'Mealy had nothing to do with it even though they did. Charters is also having an affair with a married woman so he named her husband John McGuire as one of the robbers.

It's a bold move. Nice move. That's how you do it. McGuire was put in jail for over a year and never saw his... Never saw his wife? Never saw his wife again. Wow. Boy, cheating used to be dynamic. Pottinger learned of Frank's affair with Kitty and staked out her house. He was there at three in the morning when Frank rode past

and shot from five yards away and rode off but the gun misfired. So furious, Pottinger barged in and confronted Kelly. And she admitted having an affair with Frank so Pottinger arrested her teenage brother who was asleep. Yeah, for sure. You got to go after her. I was just going to say, when are they going to arrest her sibling? Obvious move. He was held for months with no charges until he contacted Typhus and died.

Oh, shit. One for the team. Frank was interviewed about Pottinger, quote, there was nothing of the coward about him. He's the only man in the police I care for, the only one that hunts and keeps me moving. In fact, the place is getting too hot for me. I shall try and clear out.

Frank got Kitty and they took a ship to Queensland. They opened a pub, a general store and a cart business at Apes Creek. They went legit. Yeah. He was so respected. Is that legit? I mean, it is. It's like, it's just a life of crime, but now I sell rugs.

Well, you make great ones. He was so respected as a businessman, that the gold escort would stay at his pub and leave their gold in his care overnight. What? Dude, you don't let an alcoholic defend the liquor cabinet. Frank and Kitty went by Frank's original surname, Christie, and they lived that way for a year and a half until a guy recognized Frank and called the cops to get the reward.

Two detectives went into the store and tackled Frank. He put up little resistance and he was put on trial for the escort robbery. Three had already been convicted based on snitch Dan Charter's testimony. One was hanged, one was botched. But by now the cops realized Dan Charter's was a liar and that he was part of the gang and the press called him the approver. That is, he approved of the robbery. It's not a very good name.

No, it's like confusing. So what did he do? He approved? They said, well, no, he like, shit, nothing. The nickname times is going under. The cops found three grand at Frank's place, but they couldn't prove it was from a robbery and they had to give it back. That's a nice comment. Frank sat in court and slowly counted the money to make sure it was all there.

Oh, this dude is bolder. Yeah. Sorry, I'm going to start over because you guys started talking. Jesus Christ. By the way, he was still on track. What? Oh, I'm going to start over. Nothing.

Oh my God. So Frank was acquitted by the jury. Everyone was delighted. All the spectators there. There was a round of applause and a waving of hats. Oh boy, be careful. The prosecution then put Frank on trial for the attempted murder of the two policemen. It reads flat and the robbery of Horsington and Hewitt.

He was found guilty and given 32 years, which was the death sentence because of all the typhus in the jail, which we know from the teenage kid who was fucking sleeping like an asshole. Well, he ended up sleeping like an asshole forever. We don't know him. Well, yeah, he's not. Let's calm the fuck down. We have no.

Oh, no. I don't know. Let's not get attached to people that we don't care about. From the past. They died ages ago. Well, we're just finding out and it's devastating. Just trying to get a kip. So Kitty was very sad and she shot herself in New Zealand a couple years later.

Fortunately, the bullet. Oh shit. I've got a nasty little bump on my chin. Fortunately, she shot herself in the head. Oh, Jesus. What happened to your temple? I was trying to commit suicide last night and just didn't take. 85 shots.

It's like one of those coin flattening machines. Oh, that's pretty cool. That's really stretched out. Those are awesome. You should sell those. A new calling. So Frank was a model prisoner in prison. When he invented a mechanical contrivance for improving the

salvage of the matting manufacturer. Oh, finally, someone solved that problem. Someone did it. And also a loom that could be taken apart and put together easily. But that's what people fucking needed. Yeah. Frank's sister waged a campaign to get his release and Henry Parks was campaigning to become Premier of New South Wales.

And he was all about prison reform and he wanted to release prisoners for good and he was a senior who had served a large portion of their sentence. In 1874, 10 years into his sentence, Frank was released from the premier by the new premier, Henry Parks and the governor. The only condition was that he had to leave Australia. Wow. The release would lead to Parks government falling apart in less than six months.

Australians are extremely happy. The citizens of Yaz. Yeah. Yes. Held a banquet to celebrate. Yes. Yes. Yaz.

Yes. Yaz. Yaz. Yaz. The citizens of Yaz held a banquet to celebrate. As the town ban played, toasts were made to Frank. Chairman Remington, quote, gentlemen and brother robbers, we are now going to drink the toast of the evening to the health of Frank Gardner, alias Frank

Christie, et cetera, et cetera. Et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, Frankie Lonsonimes. It's like a Dick Tracy character. Frank was sent to Newcastle and then put into a three-masted sailing ship. The boat's departure was delayed by a day due to the large crowds gathering to see him off.

Wow. The boat went to Hong Kong, a 62-day journey, but he did not like Hong Kong, so he took a boat to San Francisco. He was interviewed by a Chronicle reporter, quote, Vasquez, the king of Californian bandits, pales into insignificance when compared to Frank Gardner, the great Australian bush ranger. Perhaps of all the bush rangers, Gardner was the most successful and most popular, a magnificent horseman, a brave man.

Frank said he wanted to earn an honest living and that he turned to bush ranging because there were no good jobs. Sure. No, yeah, for sure. It was the economy. He still had some money and opened a bar. Today, that site is occupied by Larry Flint's Hustler Club. But Frank extended too much credit to his customers and lost the bar

after a few years. In June 1879, it was reported Frank Gardner was back to robbing. This time, Mormon pilgrims on their way to Utah. That's fine. I'm taking four of your wives, too. No. And give me the gold underwear or whatever they are. Magic and, of course, you can have it.

Robbing Mormons must be real easy. Boy, we're awful. Sorry. We don't have more to give you. We're trying as hard as we can. One Mormon elder recognized Frank having known him as the keeper of a quote third-rate saloon at San Francisco. Oh, took a dig in there?

Yeah, seriously. Yeah. You're that really shit pump owner. You're going to stay with me for a little while. Oh, no. Apparently, there was no arrest because Frank returned to San Francisco and opened another saloon by the docks. So he lost the saloon.

He went out and robbed a bunch of people to get a bunch of money. And then came back and opened up a new. It's like a Kickstarter. Yeah. Every Australian who visited the city considered it duty to give Frank a call at his saloon. He hired a former New South Wales detective as a bar man. He was one of the two.

What's in a tequila sunrise? I'll get to the bottom of this. Something with grenadine. Yeah. It doesn't make any sense. Why would he order that? No ice. Can I just get my drink?

Yeah, yeah. For sure, my man. Very pushy indeed. A little too pushy. I don't know what happened to me last night. I shit the bed and vomited blood. Oh, I remember is the name Jack Daniels. Have you seen him around here?

Interesting man. So the detective was one of the two men who had captured Frank in Queensland. Awkward. The detective acquitted the police after only receiving a 15 pound reward for capturing Frank and then being accused of being a Finnean after the Duke of Edinburgh was shot in Sydney. That's loaded.

He was accused of being a Finnean. A lot going on there. Frank's health was never great after prison and he was a heavy drinker described as quote, grog blossomed. That's what I'm going to call a hangover from now on. I'd love to, man. I'm going to get pancakes. I am severely grog blossomed right now.

I just don't even know what happened last night. He scoured New South Wales newspapers when they came in. He lost his second bar in September, 1888. Again, for extending too much credit to customers. Time to rob some Mormons. 1882. No, 1880. So in March, 1882, the former magistrate who had sent two cops to

Fogg's house ran into Frank on the street. As you do in San Francisco. Sure, yeah. What are the odds? This is crazy. There you are. What? You got a weird tongue, bud.

You're hungry. What do you need? I'm not feeding you. I don't know you. Are you yawning, screaming or crying? I'm just putting it over here. Has anyone ever told you you sound like a seal? Oh, I think he wants us to throw fish at him.

They love that. Seal boy, that's what we'll call you. Yeah, that's where the fish go. Me feed you fish, you're seal boy. Yeah. Yeah, okay, there you go. You got a better attitude, seal boy. There it is.

Let me spin this ball in your nose. Oh, look at that. There you go. A good boy, huh? You a good boy? Yeah, you are. No, you're a good boy. Bad boy.

Well, someone's learning to enunciate, huh? Yeah. Oh, look at you. There it is. Let's chum him. So he sees this guy on the street and Frank told him he had been sleeping outside for six months on the wharves or anywhere else he could find shelter. In August, 1882, a mail ship arrived in Australia from San Francisco.

The passengers reported that Frank had died a popper inmate in a San Francisco hospital. He'd recently quote, sank very low and lived by bumming on the benevolent. Okay. That is the story of Frank Gardner. It's weird when... I think he was the first Bush ranger, I think, is what they said, but I think that's... Is it weird to root for him? No, no.

No, wait. I love it here. Fucking love a Bush ranger. In history, I'm always rooting for criminals. They're just more fun. Charming. Charming. But they're...

As long as they're not just fucking killing tons of people. No, well, he made bullets that were weak, so he didn't. He had no problem with robbing. It was like laser tag. Yeah. He was the first laser tag... Is that what he ended up opening? Rob Mormons had opened a laser tag?

He opened up a laser tag in Fresno. Nobody knows. I used the wrong... One person might know what Fresno is here. And it's me. He's over there. Oh, look at these people running for the exit. It's a shitty, shitty place.

Unless you're listening, and you're in Fresno, then it's great. Look, your town has no in it. What? Hmm? I haven't said anything for 25 minutes. Well, I'm sorry for what happened here. I apologize. Yeah.

Really, you know, when you think about that time and that lifestyle, it makes a four and a half hour delay seem not like a huge plate. That's right. Huh? That's right. Are you reading from a script? That's right. That's right.

That's right. I'm just sad that he died in the end. He's still be going. He's still around, I think. Hey. I mean, everybody has to die if they're born in the 1800s. No, necessarily. I'm a positive thinker.

Yeah. With that attitude, you're going to die. Yeah. You're going to be a thinker. So much. I was like, there's no way he's dead. He's still a rise opening his fifth bar. He's the Wolf of Wall Street.

There we go. Finally. I knew he'd land on his feet. He fucking lived hard, man. He had some good years. Hell yeah. Yeah. Gym blossoming, whatever it's called.

Grog. How do you already forget your new slogan? Very easy for me, David. Grog blossom. How long did he live for in the end? What did he die in his 60s? I think it was just under 60. He was born in 20.

It looks like it was 60. Yeah, 60 years. That's fucking incredible. Eight 60 years. That's a great 60. Yeah. That's a great 60. You didn't live that long back then.

So that's kind of an average. Yeah. There wasn't even sunscreen. And he was a bush ranger in Australia. And he lived to 60. It's not even sunscreen. That's a 240. Yeah.

If you adjust that age for what he pulled off. Shoot cops? No. No sunscreen? You know, when I was researching the story once and I was like, oh, I would have died because I'm so white. And then I looked it up and they would just cover themselves in mud. Oh.

Like that was sunscreen. Well, that's frowned upon there, wasn't it? Yeah. It's certainly an interesting look. Mate, we're fine with you as you're shooting the cops, but that's fucking inappropriate what you've done there. Well, he's about 5'8", 180 pounds, made of mud. He's a swamp creature, I believe.

Man, it comes from the swamp. So that's what you would have done. You just covered yourself in mud. We'd have covered each other in mud. Dave, do my back. That'd be us. Hit my back, Dave. Come on, my shoulders will get bad.

Come on, mud me. Come on. Not having anything to do. I'll put it on my front and then I'll jump on your back and mud your back. No. Come on. No. Come on.

No. Come on. No. Mud bros. Mud mates. Mud bros, coming up Tuesdays on ABC. Well, yeah. Thank you guys so much for coming out.

Give it up for Nick Cody. Thank you guys so much. We really appreciate the fuck out of it. No joke. Thank you. Thank you guys so much.