The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 389 - Marm Mandelbaum (Live)

Episode Date: July 30, 2019

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Akaash Singh live in Brooklyn to examine Marm Mandelbaum.SOURCESTOURREDBUBBLE MERCH

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What? I've never had that happen. Thank you, Ms. Furt. I love you. That's a first. I've never had that. They yelled your name. They love you. Yeah, Dave, go fuck yourself for like the 850th time. Wow. For the Terminator bit that we can't kill. It's just your name, bro. And he's just texting. This is who this man is. This is who you followed with the Gary name. He's timing it. He's timing the show. Yeah, come on guys. Let's take our goddamn seats. What the hell? Hello. You just, you have, you ask one thing. For everybody to stay seated for an hour and 40 minutes and to not move. And people are like, oh, we got to listen to our bodies.

No, you don't. Okay. Ignore your bodies. It's my first time. Hi, New York. It's great to be here. I've never been here. What a great place. Yeah, it's gorgeous. Want to just do the five ads and then we'll start. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bilingual American history podcast. Each week in both Spanish and Czechoslovakian, I read a story from American history to my friend. You have to compare it. It's just, uh, Gareth Reynolds. What? Just holding up my end of the deal asshole. Do you want to, uh, announce any tour dates you got coming up or? Uh, I have a bunch of, uh, stand updates I'll be doing. You can go to garethronalds.com

and see those. And, um, are you laughing because I don't know them by heart? 100%. I'm quite a high bar to set. Uh, I'll be all over the place. You can go find out garethronalds.com. I'll be everywhere. garethronalds.com. We're ready for you to go there for information. Uh, these are the cities that we can announce. It will be going to in November. Stockholm, uh, Oslo. Was it Oslo? Oslo. Oslo. Oslo. There you go. Amsterdam. We're off to Oslo start. Oh, Amsterdam, Glasgow, uh, Manchester, London, Birmingham, Cardiff, and Dublin, and hopefully Copenhagen. Um, and now bring up, bring up your friend. Uh, well, we have a very, uh, great guest. This is a guy I, uh, met when I was first here for a gig doing

standup and he was like the funniest guy I'd seen, uh, in the clubs in New York. He's got a podcast called flagrant two. He's my buddy. Give it up for Akash Singh. It's got a dynamite and a dynamite top in my dad's jacket. I would never from 88. Yep. That's a hot, that's a hot jacket. Thank you, buddy. People can see you coming. Thank you. March 28th, 1825. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Wait, see, you know, that is like, you know, I mean, that's not good. Anything around this time is not good. Are any of these stories good? No, no, no, no, they're not, but these are exceptionally like truck nuts. Truck nuts was good. Yeah. Although those guys almost killed each other. So that wasn't that great.

This has been one. Oh, uh, Robert Smalls. Yeah. That's another good one. Whitmore was good. What? Okay. Well, we're, we're talking about a one good ones, but mostly you want to die afterwards. No, yeah. Tank. Yeah, that's right. The tank. Yeah. Real feel good episode. Dude stole a tank and they killed him. Anyway, that's that guy's version of a feel good story. Yeah. It's about a guy who took meth and it stole a tank and died. Yeah. That's great. That's very up. It's very uplifting. Yeah. Frederic Henriette August Weisner was born in Castle Germany. That's too many names. Yeah. And also Castle Germany. That's a little boast. I mean, it's it's just fun. Big castle. What else is it? Nothing. If you leave the

castle, you left the town. Now are we talking male or female? It's a lady. Okay. What? Oh, man, buckle up, but it'll be a long night. That's just a very dudeish name. I think it's in Castle. They do it different. She was the third of seven children. One died. So that's pretty good for that. That's not bad. That's a hot ratio for back then. You're killing it. No, you're bragging about it. Yeah. No, just the six one passed. It's like whatever. You can't 86% of your kids back then. That's solid. Yeah. Yeah. They were a Jewish family. Frederica grew and grew and grew. And when she reached adulthood, she was six feet tall around 250 pounds. I told you it was a manish name. This bitch is Brianna Tarth. It's a

game of thrones reference. Oh, yeah. That's the Starbucks show, right? We've watched it for a long time. And then they just were like, fuck you guys. We drink Starbucks. So she'd be big for now. But back then, everyone was tiny. So she's like a fucking Yeti. Like she's like, right. So in 1848, she married Wolf Mandelbaum, Wolf man, only guy that can handle this girl. Oh, yeah. This is Wolfman, Dillbaum. I'm the Wolfman, Dillbaum. How are you? I'm an accountant, actually. He was a peddler. He bought livestock, grain, vegetables from the country, and then he brought them into the city to resell. Okay, people look down on it was not a respectable job. Sure. They didn't make a lot of money. So four months

after they were married, Frederica had their first child Bertha. What kind of name list are they checking off here? They're like, we're going to be the funniest family of all time. That's our goal. This is Wolfman, Dillbaum. But Bertha's a big girl's name. So they knew like, they're like, you know, we're not making anybody petite. Right, right. Yeah, the name that fits. They nicknamed her Bessie. What is going on? What are they doing? What? So things at this time are not great in Germany. There have been a potato blight in 1840. Oh, the great potato blight. One of the many potato blights. Poor people were starving. There were hunger riots and rebellions against the government. And for the mental bombs, even

worse because growing anti semitism. Christian merchants passed laws that limited price. Christian merchants passed laws that limited the job Jews could work at and what they could sell. Okay. Okay. So in 1850, people hate Jews always. What is that? I'm the only one I'm the only one who's like, God damn that keeps happening, huh? I can't be the only one who thought that. I never thought about that before. Yeah, it's like black in fashion. It's like my jacket. It just goes and comes back in fashion every couple of decades. There's a lot of stuff I didn't say right there. It's a lot. The whole Rolodex of shit that what did not come out of my mouth. In 1850, the metal bombs left for America. Wolf sailed

first. Frederica and baby Bessie came two months later. So they're below deck. She had to so there's no room. They it's the cheapest ticket you can get. So the below deck, she had to move through a passageway that was seven feet long or sorry, it's not a passageway. It's just the area where they are seven feet long, two feet wide and six feet high. Oh, so literally her measurements. This is a joke, isn't it? What am I on? This is a nightmare. She's like moving the boat backwards. What's happening? What's happening? I can't steer. I'm trying to take a piss. I can't. There's also no ventilation and poor waste disposal, as we say. That's a great combo. That's a perfect combination. So there are frequent

outbreaks of typhus, cholera, dysentery. So like today's cruise ships, no different than what we do now. So they made it to New York, we're reunited with Wolf and eventually they moved into a tenement at 383 8th Street in little Germany in what is now the East Village. That's what we call minor enthusiasm. That's what that would be diagnosed as. Because everybody goes I live there and I pay rent there. I've walked there. So they had a single dark room, no windows. Awesome. That's about what it's like now. It was a six story building that was built to house 10 families, but there were 20 families or more living in the building. In the area, 15 people squeezed into tenement apartments measuring about 325 square feet.

Some lived in the dirt floor basement of the building. So they have no window, no light, no plumbing, no heating, just a stove. Well, that's cool. What's the real estate guy like? So this place, you're going to love this. It's got all natural dirt floors. You can see we've taken all the windows out of here. So it's just that it's all candlelight. There's no heating, there's no restroom, but a stove, a two-burner. So you can choke to death from the... It's a place to put your head when you want to go bye-bye, which will be very shortly after you sign this lease. So toilets are outside, water for cooking and bathing had to be hauled up in buckets. So immigrants are flowing into New York because everyone's

like, I got to have a piece of that. Yeah. Everything about how much other countries suck that they're like, I need that. Yeah. I got to get out of castle. Their neighborhood was rat-infested, crime-ridden, garbage was just tossed into the street from windows. New York Times quote, boxes of garbage were tossed out on the street, composed of potato, peelings, oyster shells, night soil. That's shit. Night soil? Night soil. Oh, I made some night soil. That's a great one. That's up there. They did have potatoes though. So, you know, at least they got that. That's a win. Sure. Yeah. That's why they came. Yeah. Look, it's like the Martian. They just throw potatoes out in the street. No, no, potato peelings.

They got potatoes to eat though. So there you go. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, potato peeling, oyster shells, night soil, rancid butter, dead dogs and dead cats. What's happening at the end of this list? How to get worse than night soil? Dead dogs, dead cats. One festering, rotting, loathsome, hellish mass of air poisoning, death, breeding filth, leaking in the fierce sunshine. So that's nice. It's a good, the New York Times is right. That's just Chinatown, guys. What is everybody talking about? This is a big deal. The half-starved immigrants were a lot of them were rags. So the Mandelbalms were lucky to have a room of their own. But overcrowded, unsanitary conditions led to many epidemics for poor immigrants.

65 immigrant children died to every eight non-immigrant children. Wow. So they're fucking killing it. Literally, yeah. 75% of children under two died each year. Wow. Oh, shit. Jesus. Middle-class and upper-class New Yorkers blamed immigrants for bringing disease. Tuberculosis became known as the Jewish disease. I told you, everywhere. Y'all look like I'm crazy. I like how it's your redemption story. The Jews were persecuted further. What did I tell you? I won. I won the podcast. One of the children who died was Bessie. So we're never going to see how big she's going to get. That's a damn shame. WNBA lost a star. Oh, no. Okay. I was invested in the future of this one. So Frederica and Wolf worked as peddlers selling

everything from rags to broken timepieces to scraps of silk. So business had to be really good. Oh, it's broken. All right, I'm listening. I like what I hear so far. Why are these guys peddling everywhere? They have no discernible talent whatsoever. They're just peddling. No, just ragged continents. Right, fair enough. They couldn't afford a horse and cart, so Frederica hauled the goods on her back. Jesus. That's what she built for, guys. And she'd walk the crowded streets. They were unpaved, muddy, and littered with garbage. Some peddlers used gimmicks to attract attention. Like blowing bugles. What a great gimmick. I think a prince is about to walk in. It's a rag. Oh, well, I'm over here. He's a rag. Arranging

pieces of fruit in precarious octagons. I mean, that's what you do when you're on acid. I'm going to just put this fruit in a nice little octagon. What are you doing there selling broken watches? Yes, please. And dressing their horses in trousers. Oh, well, right. Now I'm over there buying whatever they're selling. If I can pet it, just sell pets. They probably just use one of Frederica's regular pants. They're like, I throw that on the horse. We got extras. I'm just trying to picture a horse in trousers. Yeah, because the horse has got a shit and take a pee. No, make night soil. Be cute about it. But also this is my question. Do you put pants on the front legs too? No, you treat it like

a human body. You got to have the pant look. You know what I mean? Nice belt around the waist. Right. You got to put a shirt on. Yeah, France got a shirt. Nice billowy. So they didn't the metal bombs didn't have to do any of that because Frederica was huge. So she stood out and attracted attention. There was no putting pants on the horses. Right. People were just like, look at the giant. There's a yeti. There's a horse with pants on. Look at her. Let's go over there. Look at this fruit. You're an idiot. I don't know what your angle is. I put the fruit in a funny octagon. Buddy, no. It's your angle. Do you sell fruit? No. What are you doing? I don't know. Want a broken watch? So they worked

14 hour days and made around $6 a week. But they love fucking because soon they had four kids to feed. Two boys, two girls. Okay. So Frederica was described as having the eyes of a sparrow, the neck of a bear and fat florid cheeks. He's brutal. It's quite a description. Surely not by a friend. She's got some of those real sparrowy eyes. You know what I'm talking about? What bird eyes? Big ass neck. The big neck though. Big lady with little tiny, tiny bird eyes. Baby bird eyes. She was homely and kept her black hair tightly rolled back. She spoke only when she had to. Her vivid saying, directly, mostly at herself, was quote, it takes brains to be a real lady. Oh my God. Hard times came in 1857 as there

was the usual capitalism collapse. Oh boy. Banks and investors overinvested and took too many risks. Can you imagine? No. What a weird time. So I'm glad we fixed all that though. Well, that's what I think when I hear about like outhouses outside and windowless rooms. It is like, well, we're coming back. We are headed right towards it. The banks failed. Businesses closed. Tens of thousands lost their jobs. Hungry children sold slivers of coal and old pieces of rope on the streets. What are people buying? I don't understand. I don't know if they know the marketplace very well. I'm actually going to go with the rag stuff. Now that I see what you're selling. Bit of rope. No. She liked to start

a tiny, tiny fire. Tiny what? Sliver of coal. Yeah. No, I don't need that. I have a job, you little boy. Get out of here. Many became pickpockets. Parents permitted or encouraged it because they were desperate. People turned to picking through garbage, scavenging, shoplifting and robbery. Well, after hearing what their garbage is, surely there's some good stuff in there. Oh, look, a dead cat. Awesome. We should let's arrange this fruit funny and we'll try to sell it. Daddy, I found night soil. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Junior, junior, junior, junior. How much is this worth? No, no, not much. No, no, no, don't eat it. No. Oh my God. Oh my God. It had cat fur in it. So I'm worried. So Fred Rico started building

relationships with these, this horde of aimless children who are petty thieves and they're looking to get rid of their stolen loot. So they steal stuff and she's like, oh, I'll buy it. That's solid. Okay. She'd buy what they stole, resell it. Fred Rico quickly became known on the streets as a middleman or what we call a fence. Okay, I like this. She's a good businesswoman. She was street smart. Her business grew and grew. Word got out that she was the middleman to go to if you had something to sell or you wanted some cheap stolen goods. She dealt in everything, diamonds, furniture, paintings, silverware and gold, but her specialty became silk. She bought the finest silk bolts stolen from the best

businesses on the East Coast and she paid her criminals 20% of value. Soon she had a huge network. Okay. This is great. So she's created like she's a union at this point. Yeah. Okay. Soon. What's Wolf Mandelbaum doing now? He's like, huh? What about the rags? What are you doing? You hang out with those kids a lot. So in 1865, she had enough money to move them into a building in the 13th Ward, now the Lower East Side. It was three stories. They lived on the top two floors and on the bottom floor they opened a dry goods store, which looks like a typical dry goods store full of dry things. Yeah. Not the wet stuff that you see at the grocery store. Yeah. It's not

that kind. No. If you get gravy in there, the whole store is ruined. Yeah. But the real action was happening and back. This was the first time Frederica had a base for a fencing operation. The criminals would enter through the side door, go into a secret part of the store and do their business. She had a chimney built in the middle of the store with a false back which hit a dumb waiter with a secret lever. Wait, there's a lot of terms getting thrown around. She's got a secret chimney with a dumb waiter and a lazy Susan inside of the dumb waiter. What's a dumb waiter? It's just an idiot waiter. No, no. It's like how it's called a dumb waiter because it's a dumb system, but it's how you like get like

dishes from like the base, like from one floor to another. Yes, you put it up there. But she's got a dumb waiter and a secret chimney. You've seen it in movies. Someone's trying to get away from someone and they call the dumb waiter and they go up and they're stabbing and they don't get it. This is a very specific scene you're talking about. It's a movie that I'm not sure exists. He got stabbed in the dumb waiter. And then they go down to the basement and that's where the ghost is. What? I think he's pitching a movie, he wrote. I really do. Dumb waiter ghost basement. Say it now, but wait till that movie's fucking in. Without question it will hit. So that's where she would quickly hide shit if anybody

came in and choose a word. She'd throw it in the dumb waiter and down it would go. Wolf didn't have really anything to do with the business. The New York City police chief called him quote a non-entity. It's better to be called a criminal. He's a nothing. He's not a wolf man either. He couldn't even carry the goods on his back. Can you imagine a world where you let your wife carry the goods on her back? Like now you've got that, you and the horse, you guys handle that. I'm going to put some pants on the horse when you carry all that shit. I'm just building shitty octagons here. You guys carry everything. I made a stop sign at a Kiwi. What do you think of that? Ready? Who's your wolf man? She's so distant

lately. Sophia Lyons who you may remember from dollop 355 from Detroit. She said he was quote, rather weak-willed for his calling lazy and afflicted with chronic dyspepsia which indigestion. Why is he getting, I mean I understand he's a nothing, a non-entity but why so much? He sounds like a sad sack. He made this noise a lot. Yeah, yeah. This guy sucks. This guy is building a criminal empire. Most conspicuous person in the whole fucking city. And he's just moping. Yeah. I'm going to go kick rocks for a while. How come we have a dumb waiter and no restaurant? Baby, baby, baby. Right, I'm sorry. I shouldn't uh, sorry. You're right. We have money and that's what I should, that's what you should

focus on. Yeah. I'm going to go feed the birds. Good. Be back by supper. That's not the door that goes outside. Oh, sorry. Bye. That's my wolf exterior. Back in for supper. How come we have a dumb waiter and no restaurant? It's so fucking funny. All right, so like they said, they had four kids. She was a loving mother, doted on her kids. Uh, even though she was the head of a criminal network, she always made sure never to miss a school recital. She'd cancel business deals. Uh, if one of her kids was sick, because the sudden death of Bessie had made her overprotective and fawning. She's very close with her kids. Didn't let them out of her sight for long. Uh, she was taught the ropes by successful fences like

General Abe Greenthal, Joe Irick and Ephraim Snow. She paid them for their knowledge. The biggest thing she learned was to bribe the cops and politicians and to be fair to the criminals and only buy what you knew you could sell. That's a pretty good list. Dude. Yeah. Yeah. Bribing's always been good. Yeah. That's like the 10 crack commandments of the 1800s right there. Soon she wasn't just working with people on the Lower East Side. She started selling to rich people. George Reddinger, who was a rich as fuck owner of the Passaic Hotel in New Jersey, bought stolen goods from Frederica all the time. He bought silver tablecloths, blankets and more for his hotel. At half the price, it would have cost him

from legitimate retailers. Okay. It's so weird that rich people would. Yeah. It's weird because they're not like that now. They're not. Yeah. They're not. They're cool now. Yeah. Yeah. I actually attributed it more to Jersey. Interesting angle. He's right. I did the show in Brooklyn. You had to come over here. There's a reason nobody's going to Jersey. I live there. It sucks. I didn't know. So she's a job provider, but she never got her hands dirty. Instead of building an inner circle, instead she built an inner circle of burglars, pickpockets and robbers. She had thieves who brought in goods, skilled artisans and Julie was melted down and silver diamonds reset, other precious stones, carriage

drivers dealt with getaways, clerks around the store. So this is now. Yes. She's got a business. This is now. Yeah. This is now crazy. Yeah. Right. She's Walter White now. She's like, we're moving our buddy. Yeah. Garrett has a very funny bit where he does voicemails of Frank. How do you say his name? Frankie Muniz? No. It's not how you say Frankie Muniz. Frankie Muniz. No. I just told you. Frankie Muniz. Frankie Muniz. Calling Brian Cranston and pitching new shows to him. It's a really funny bit that he just falls into character with sometimes. That's why that's why he looked at me when he said breaking bit. Okay. Sorry. I thought he would do one, but I'm just still here. No, I will not. I'll

be hanging out to dry. You're the dry good store. Yeah. No. No, miss. Not. No. No. Hey, Brian, Frankie again. That's just how they all start. That's enough. Shut the fuck up. What's happening? There's a lot of energy out there. Akash got booed and cheered in like four minutes. I stand by what I said earlier. Do not. No, my girl is beautiful and brilliant, but she's never like the brains is what makes me a lady. That's not, you know, just, no, no, no, no, no. You guys are just booing. You're not even listening. All right. Brooklyn. But buddy, let's go back to Jersey. He's be holding on shit. Turning into a New York comedy club situation. I'm very comfortable there. So Frederica became a mentor to aspiring

criminals. She trained women to be criminals right alongside men. Her protege is called her Marm, which is short for mother because she was actually longer than mother. Marm. Mom's short for mother and that's really short. It's shorter. I've read. It's because she was a mother figure and she washed over them and she protected them while nurturing their criminal careers. Quote, they called me mob because I give them money and horses and diamonds. Just like Marm used to do. Right. Here's your horse and your diamonds. Thanks, Marm. Where should I go? I don't know. I'm a criminal. I don't have Marm called all of her protege is her little chicks. Sure. Sure. Men and women. She's called little chicks. The newspaper

started calling her Marm Mandelbaum or mother Mandelbaum. Marm became very wealthy. In turn, she reinvested in her business with bribes to higher authorities. She paid off corrupt Tammany Hall and bribed authorities to look the other way. Tammany Hall would just put in a word and a case would vanish from the court docket. Marm brought tenements and several warehouses to house all the stolen goods. Jesus Christ. Her business expanded out to Trenton and Newark. She's like Ikea. This is bananas. People are just like, what are you opening it for? She's like, ruin just another soccer tournament. Soon she was getting goods stolen goods from all over the East Coast. After the Chicago fire of 1871, looted

goods poured in and she resold them for a sizable profit. That's amazing that during the Chicago fires, people are like, it's actually a great time to be in Chicago. It's a great time to be an entrepreneur. Most of the stolen goods from the Chicago fire went through her. Quote, following the great Chicago fire, someone showed up at her haberdashery shop with a herd of goats they'd stolen during the fire. That is quite a journey for stolen goats. Those goats like please take us. This is a nightmare. Kill me. We are goats. She took them and sold them. Upstairs about the dry goods store, her home was lavish. The dining room had cut glass chandeliers. More than 60 guests fit comfortably at two mahogany

tables with matching chairs. The tables were covered in linen tablecloths and lit with golden candelabras. The room had plush carpet, embroidered silk drapes, upholstered couches, ornate fireplace, and bookcase, car bookcases. She hosted big dinner parties. She would hit at the head of the table. Do you have any idea what Wolf is doing, huh? Yeah, Wolf, meanwhile. He's a non-entity. He's writing a musical in the basement. It'll show her it's all about a man who's a wolf and neglected. Marm went sit at the head of the table on an embroidered... By the way, of course. Who the fuck else? Wolf's gonna sit there? I don't. I don't know what to do. Just serve the food, Wolf. I can't. I'm sad again. Oh, God. You still love me, right, Marm?

You don't call me Marm. I told you this. It's fucking weird. She's putting, like, fruit arrangements and heart shapes on the bed. She's like, that's gonna go through the duvet. I messed up again. No, you did good. Wolf, you did great. Jesus Christ. Did you say, get a hobby or something? Did you say, get a hobby under your breath? No, I was talking to myself. Sad Wolf. There they go. So she would sit on an embroidered cushion bench, because she was too large to sit in the chair,

next to her sat her husband, Wolf. Wow. He's like, we're both in charge. Yeah. My little man's not playing dress up. I'm a big boy. You sure are, Wolf. My feet don't touch the ground. Don't tell people that. That's not what we told you. We're not gonna tell people that. I'm like a kid on the Tonight Show. Wolf. Get on the Tonight Show. Julia sat next to them. He was now part of the business. That's their son, Julius. Okay. At the dinner party were judges, cops, businessmen, politician, and all her criminals. They would all mingle together, criminal, piano, Charlie entertained her guests on the grand piano. Well, of course, he was a drummer. I don't know why they call me that. Piano Charlie was one of Marm's favorites. He came from a wealthy family and was a

classically trained pianist. He had squandered all of his inheritance on booze women and gambling, and then turned to crime. And he became an expert safecracker. With help from Marm, Piano Charlie pulled off a string of successful bank and train robberies, including $100,000 from the Hudson River Railway Express. I don't think his nickname is doing him justice. He's so much more. It's for Billy Joel. In 1869, Charlie was caught and arrested by Pinkerton detectives. The worst back then, the worst now. They've never stopped. He and an accomplice were being held in the White Plains jail. Is attorney, yeah, really? So where I'm from? It looked like her attorneys couldn't get him off and his accomplices. So Marm came up with a plan.

She got together several of her crew and rented an office space in the building next door to the jail. Oh my God. She is the one who knocks. Is this going to be magna? They bribed some prison guards to look the other way and then dug through the wall of the office into the White Plains jail. What? This is so dope. What? The men escaped and were driven away. What's behind that Betty Page poster? Nothing. They escaped in a awaiting carriage and Marm held a celebration party and Piano Charlie entertained the guests. Yeah, he better. Yeah. The idea that your getaway car is a carriage. Go. We're going to chase them. This will be a few days of this. It'll be.

Mary had two attorneys, William Howe and Abraham Hummel on retainer at all times. She paid him $5,000 a year. If any of her criminals got into trouble, she would send the lawyers to help. Howe and Hummel made a fortune defending New York's most infamous criminals. They were so well known that a common toast in Taverns was, here's howe and there's Hummel. Now I don't like New York City criminals anymore. Yeah. Not the golden age of slogans. So this is a time of horrendous inequality. If you guys can imagine that. Wait, this is an American podcast I thought in this country. What was their super rich and then a bunch of pores? Yeah. Imagine. This happened especially after the Civil War because there's

a lot of war profiteering. The majority of New Yorkers lived in dire poverty with industrialization. There was a super rich such as Mammy Fish, Mammy Fish, wife of a railroad magnet, a magnet who held the dinner. That's not going good. The train's moving. Early American X-man. I'm the train magnet. Start that sense again. Mammy. Mammy? Is it Mammy? Is that the name? Let's go with Mammy. It's a little less tense. Yeah. Mammy Fish, wife of railroad magnet held a dinner party to honor her dog. To honor her dog is doing more than wolf.

At which she gave the dog a $15,000 diamond collar. This is becoming no. It's like today. It is. What's his name? The Treasury Guy? Mnuchin. Mnuchin, his dad just bought a calm the fuck down. His dad just bought a $90 million piece of art. It's a fucking $90 million piece of art. It's like a three-foot statue. But won't it be fun to drink wine from his skull? Like, it's all just part of the buildup to when where they're like, it was worth it. So she's paying $15,000 for a dog collar at the time, but three quarters of the country's population earned less than $1,200 a year.

The Gilded Age in America brought a whole new level of disparity between the incredibly rich and pathetically poor in the U.S. Marm and her crew mostly stole from the rich and powerful. Banks, mansions, fancy restaurants, jewelry stores, the poor basically cheered whenever they heard of another robbery. Marm took things a step further and set up the Bureau for the protection of criminals. Wow, what? That's bold. That's bold policymaking. It was a fund that provided bail money and legal representation for criminals. That's amazing. She also established a crime school on Grand Street. That's so good. What? Who's in charge of everything right now? Because they're really

not doing what they're supposed to. Crime school? Yeah, give me that stamp. Yeah, let's do that. What's the worst that could happen? It was actually right near police headquarters. I feel like she's doing this on purpose, like, fuck you. I really do. I feel like she's doing it like, fuck you. I'm going to put it right next to the cops. Watch how untouchable I am. We're calling ourselves the police department now, Marm. A young man, woman, and children enrolled. It was one of the first coeducational schools of the 19th century. God damn it. Checking a lot of boxes. Professional pickpockets and thieves taught their skills to new students.

What is going on? It's like the Harry Potter of criminals. How do you grade pickpocketing? It looks like a C minus pickpocket. I felt you. I felt it. I knew you were going for my watch. Midterms are almost here, guys. If we're going to do this right, let's really get those fingers sticky. Come on, guys. The young ones started off learning about smaller crimes like pickpocketing and petty theft. If they had the skills, they would advance and graduate up into other more important crimes like outright robberies and scams. Outright robberies. Okay, that's awesome. So it's like AP. I'm going to scams. What you got next?

Outright robbery? Okay. I flunked it. I got to go back to grifting. I shot myself. I don't think you're allowed to be here anymore. I had the gun the wrong way and I was like, bang. That's why my nickname is Half Charlie. But I took my own wallet. Not a total loss. Other higher level subjects included safe cracking, blackmail, and burglary. And it's just nobody knows about this? Or how is this? What is the class on blackmail? It's not that hard. Well, you got to know how to set it up and how to take the money without, I don't know.

The best students got to work with Marm herself. They just had to agree to sell everything they stole to her and no one else. She trained women shoplifters to work in pairs. It's like U.C.B. Guys, I take shots. Sometimes I miss, sometimes I hit. I don't know. This is how it's going to go. Well, one was a lookout while the other stuffed goods into a large pocket concealed under her dress. Pickpockets worked in pairs, too. One would tell a sad story to a stranger while the other one stole his wallet. So in other words, eventually you were like, I won't listen to sad stories anymore.

Get robbed every time. Fuck you. Mr. I need your help. No, not for that one. One of Marm's greatest students was Sophia Lyons, who I said, who became known as the Princess of Crime. Marm was known as the Queen of Fences. Her willingness to train and employ women in her crime ring created opportunities for women that were not available elsewhere. Despite her running a criminal ring, she's credited with being one of the

first feminists because she was able to get women jobs in which they made more money and were able to use their skills in better ways than they did working in factories or as maids. You're cheering being criminals. Yeah, okay. Fully aware. It's way more fun than coding. Yeah, seriously. Yeah, I mean.

But Marm did not have sympathy for the wives of criminals who died and came asking for money. Interesting ring. Well, she got a whole school that could teach them everything they need to know. Well, that's what she thought. She thought they should get out and work and complain that most women were, quote, wasting life being housekeepers. And not criminals. She is living in another era. She's all over the map. Yeah, she's like raising a family while being a master criminal.

She's like, everyone should do this. Yeah, but also she's married to Wolf Mandelbaum. She was just laying there. He's 28. I used to be a man. Wolf, you're going one again in your pants. Oh, carry me around on your back. How's your garden?

Not good. I got them all these seeds. I thought it would give him something to, he tried to plant pumpkins. I ate them. You ate the seeds alone by themselves? Yeah. Did you read the directions? I want to see if I could make tomatoes.

Yeah, you plan them. That's what the package said. Did you read the package of the tomato seeds, Wolf? If I eat them, then they come out. Okay. All right. Well, I'm going to go sleep in the other bedroom. I mean the office. Sorry, the office. Okay, I'm going to masturbate. That's good, Wolf. There's a full moon if you want to check it out.

Or no, just stay there, writing your little diary. Now, Mary turned her focus to a new venture, bank robberies. She now started putting groups of robbers together, and she'd front them around 30,000 to buy tools, pay off bribes, and hire getaway carriages and do other stuff. The robberies were meticulously planned out sometimes for months. One of her star bank robbers was George Leslie. He'd never committed a robbery before he came to Marm.

He'd been an architect in Cincinnati. What? That sounds like a fine career. He was like, yeah, but now I want to have a gun. I really do. It's like a fantasy camp. Well, the Civil War came along, and his wealthy father paid $300 to buy his way out of the Civil War. Why don't they just say, Bonespurs? No, still the best. The best is anal cyst.

The what? Rush Limbaugh, anal cyst. It's still the best. Still the best. Wait, that's news to me. Yeah. He said what? Anal what? Anal cyst. How can I shoot, guys? My butt hurts. I mean, what did you rather go to war than have people be like, he has anal cysts?

But don't you look at Rush Limbaugh and think he probably got anal cysts. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He is an anal cyst. So once he bought his way out of the Civil War, then everyone in Cincinnati found out about it and hated him for doing that. And he was basically ostracized out of the city. Like they were like, you're a loser. So he goes to New York. Okay. George invented a new burglary tool called the Little Joker.

What? He's an architect. Yeah, he is. Indeed. It fit inside the combination dial of any bank safe. So once inside, it would record the numbers someone stopped at when they opened the safe. Wow. That's fucking brilliant. Wow. If she doesn't cheat on Wolf with this guy, I don't, I'm leaving.

So he would break into a bank, put the device in the combination dial, wait a couple of days, then break it again. Take it out and then open the, open this. Wow. He's a little Joker, George Robb, Ocean Street Bank of 800,000 dollars. Holy shit. Wow. Securities, the biggest bank robbery ever.

Marm got 50 percent. And Wolf was given a handful of quarters. For video games? Wolf. Food? The New York Herald called it, quote, a masterful bank job pulled off by one very special bank robber. That's bulletin board stuff right there.

You're like, look at that. That's me. Don't tell anyone, but I did that. Marm was obsessed with social acceptance and always maintained an era of refinement. She dressed stylishly, wore diamond earrings, but didn't overdo it. The only thing that she had that was over the top was her signature hat. Well, over the top hat for this time means, dude, I don't even know what to tell you. But they were like, if you had like a fruit basket and an owl on your head,

people were like, who did that? Like, or people were just like, morning, like, it was usually a dorm with dark feathers or plumes. She wore it perched on the very top of her head, like a bird's nest, just resting kind of, Jason. Wolf Mandelbaum had been ill and bedridden for five years now. I didn't know he wasn't just laying out. I mean, like, what else was there for him to do?

I feel bad, but I think you might be right, that he was just like, Wolf, close that door. Don't let the light in. Wolf, he probably had tuberculosis, but he died in March, 1875, at the age of 51. I don't feel bad for this guy. There goes the wolf. There goes the hero of our story. I don't think that's the last we've heard of, Wolf Mandelbaum. Oh, it is? It is? Oh, okay. Interesting. Thought maybe there was a...

The primary cause of death was listed as encephalitis govura, a.k.a. brain fever. The second cause was, quote, the wasting away disease. I told you. I told you. He had this disease. I told you. I told you. He had this since they got married. I told you. I told you. Not really.

I know what I'm talking about. I mean, kind of. I told you. Wasting away disease. This guy's a bum. I'm telling you. You know, hard-working man get wasted. Wasting disease? Marm was devastated and mourned for over a year. She had fresh flowers placed on his grave every day. Oh, my God. Well, she had the money to do it. I mean... She probably stole it from another grave.

Yeah, probably. Hey, well, no. Fucking 100%. That's what was happening. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she eventually returned to her business. She now relied on her son Julius and a man named Herman Staud. Herman was a burly blonde German who had also recently been widowed. He was the only...

Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, it's definitely getting set up like that. He sounds stout, you know what I mean? Yeah. He was the only one outside of her immediate family who Marm confided in. Some people refer to Marm and Herman as a couple, but no one really knows. He was devoted to her, but most of her associates really disliked Herman and kept their distance.

So her school closed down in 1876 after running for six years. Six years. Yeah. It was over when the son of a prominent cop managed to enroll. Marm then shut it down rather than risk getting busted. What? What? Couldn't she just get rid of him? I don't know what the deal is.

We're shutting it down. He got in, so that's that. It was also next door to the police station. Now she wants to... She might have just thought it was where his dad was. He's like, my dad here. In 1877, Michael Kurtz, aka Sheenie Mike, which is a nasty name for Jewish people. Okay.

That's those are the nicknames. They'd be like, oh, it's it's WAP Jimmy. Like they just all went. They went with the fucking worst thing they could go. You guys are still shocked at antisemitism. It's crazy. You listen to this podcast. You know what it is.

Every time you should be like, yeah, that's about that's about right. Right there. Yeah, it's been about 20 minutes. Here we go. So Sheenie Mike robbed a dry goods store in Boston. His crew made off with 2000 yards of silk and 26 cashmere shawls. But he was caught, tried and convicted. And he signed an affidavit stating that he had sold the goods to Marm Mandelbaum.

Fucking nark snitch nark. Yeah, yeah. Do your time. Yeah, do your time. Do your time. Shut up. He then received a pardon. What a bum Marm was arrested for receiving stolen goods.

Somehow Sheenie Mike disappeared before the trial and the case was dropped. You guys are really fucked up as far as that is. You guys, you guys have a really skewed moral sort of. That is one thing I've learned about this show is, you know, sometimes just here. Go to the end. If you went on every dip of that. Yeah. No, so the cases dropped, but the store owner used the affidavit that Sheenie Mike had signed

to Sue Marm for $6,000 in a civil case. That's nothing. It's nothing. That is nothing. That's a lot. That's a lot for back then. It's a lot. Yeah, but she already stole $400,000 in the bank.

Yeah, yeah. She's got shitloads. Yeah. Yeah. It took three years. She kept delaying it through her lawyers, but finally Marm appeared in court. Buffalo Evening News quote, all eyes were turned upon her as she took the stand. She's a poorly woman of 50 with dark hair and dark eyes,

shallow complexion and rather high Jesus Christ. I mean, the high cheap ones though, the, huh? Come on. It's not all bad. The amount of descriptions in the visit, like it's like, well, what happened in the trial? They're like, well, there she was. There were chubby elbows all on the stand. That's why they had to get the cartoon, the artist for the courtroom.

They were like sick of reporters being like, well, it was fashion week again here. Her bosoms were incredible. All right. And what happened at the trial? You've talked about the bosoms for a while. Did you get inside for the case? I don't remember. Awesome.

Strong chin. Okay. I did write a 13 page story about bosoms though. That is not what you were paid to do. It's half fiction. What are you talking about? It's half fiction. Half reality.

What is the half fiction part about? Or do I not want to know? What is the half fiction part about? The bosoms robbed banks with a dog. I think it's going to be a good story. It's not what we paid you for, you idiot. Well, they shouldn't have bosoms then. I get confused.

Your fired is an understatement. Well, okay then. But I have received a job offer from bosoms weekly. Who's in charge of that magazine? It's my magazine. Yes. I had a feeling it might be. It's not really getting a job now, is it?

I've also started drawing. That's your face between a pair of bosoms. Yes, it is. She was dressed in a black cloth trim dress with lace and wore an immense seal skin sack and a... What is what? What is what's seal skin sack? What she's...

She was at a company picnic before this and was taking part in the sack race and came right to trial. I think it's like a kind of jacket, but... She had a velvet hat with a beautiful bird's wing across the front. Not just the any wing, a beautiful falcon wing. The thing that tied the outfit together

was she had a bird on her face and... You said falcon. We've been invited to fly falcons when we go to Sacramento. Sure. Remind me, remind me. I don't think there'll be a problem with me reminding you any longer. No, go fly falcons. I would never remember

if I didn't tell them right there. Yeah. Sacramento got a bunch of fucking rednecks, huh? You just fly falcons out there? Dude, falcons are urban animals. Come on, you know them. She wore a big breast pin and was partly concealed by her chin. This is the longest description of an outfit.

Okay. That was partly concealed by her chin. So that's a bummer. Just so we're keeping track, that's a breast pin that's covered by her chin. That's a bummer. And she had diamond earrings in her ears. She spoke in a rather low voice with a Mark German accent.

Marm explained that she had helped Sheenie Mike as a favor to his mother, who she had known for 20 years. She said she did not have personal dealings with Mike. Her efforts were simply a gesture of kindness on behalf of his dear mother. She testified that she had never in her life received stolen property from him or anyone else. That is quite a lie.

That's a humdinger. The jury... The Bible then caught on fire. That shouldn't be. The jury found for the plaintiff and awarded him everything that he'd asked for. $6,000. She was like, all right, here you go.

It's actually my hat's worth that. Go fuck yourself. She got a seal skin jacket. You can fuck about $6,000. She's got Paul Manafort's wardrobe. $6,000. It's like, there you go. Her lawyers appealed, but things are changing in New York.

There's a new district attorney. Oh, no. Yeah? That's a... No, it's bad. He used to be a part of Crump, Tammany Hall, but now he's changed and he is turned against Mark. I'm not a fucking loser.

What did you find, God? Get out of here. No one wants that. Three months into his term, in March, 1884, he sent his... He set his targets on Marm. He knew that Marm had people inside the police department, so he went to the Pinkerton's.

Yeah, we... We all... We all get it. We don't like them. Pinkerton agent and German immigrant Gustav Frank was assigned to the case. Well, this is a conflict. This is like a real Donny Brasco for him.

He pretended to be a silk merchant named Stein. It was looking for bargains. I'm Stein. I'm after bargains. Silk, mainly. First, he spent several weeks with legitimate silk merchants learning the trade. The first time he entered Marm's shop,

he said he wanted to buy very cheap silks. She refused to do business with him, but he kept coming back. Eventually, she decided she would know if the police were conducting a sting because of her contacts in the department, and she began doing business with him. Over a month, Gustav bought 12,000 yards of stolen silk.

Pinkerton detectives traced it all back to the original owners, using secret marks hidden in the silk. Oh, whoa. When he had enough evidence, Gustav got arrested, searched warrants, and accompanied by backup Pinkerton detectives he entered the shop and waved the arrest warrant

in Marm's face. He's got, like, the first Giuliani. He said, quote, you are caught this time, and the best thing you can do is to make a clean breast of it. What? Make a...

Was it the court reporter? Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Movies. Make a clean breast means to come clean and tell the truth, like, get it off your chest. We changed it, I guess.

I wonder why. But Marm's response was to punch Gustav in the face. Probably a solid wallop, too. Probably, like, an Indiana Jones punch. Well, blood poured out of his nose, so she... Blood poured? It's so good. She got him good.

Other... The Pinkerton's had to hold her back from punching him again. Marm, Julius, and Herman were arrested. Reporters were allowed to see the police and the police were arrested. Marm, Julius, and Herman were arrested. Reporters were allowed to then join authorities when they searched the warehouses.

One journalist, quote, it did not seem possible that so much wealth could be assembled in one spot. There seemed to be enough clothes to supply an army. There were trunks filled with precious gems in silverware. Antique furniture was stacked against a wall. So it's like they found the dragon's lair. Like, they...

Is this Game of Thrones? No, that's... No, but they don't have dragon. That's not the Lord of the Rings. Game of Thrones has dragons? But those dragons and Game of Thrones don't collect gold? I'm not going to have a dragon fight with you right now. All right, dragons are made up and they're dragons. No, they're not.

No, this is more like a puff the magic dragon vibe. This is... Dragons are made up until you're doing construction in London and then you crack into their vault and they come flying out and then they're not made up, are they? Marm... Marm, Julius, and Herman were released on bail. Okay, so the bail was posted by several citizens, including John Briggs, who posted bail for Julius,

using his house as collateral, and Conrad Petrie, who posted bail using his house as collateral. The Pinkerton detectives watched Marm's home and shop 24-7. Oh, she's out on bail. When she went under her carriage, she'd circle around and look at the detectives and give them a wave and ride away. Now, the day before the trial, Marm left her home,

waved to the Pinkertons, and then they followed her. She went to her lawyer's office, Howe and Hummel. The Pinkertons waved it outside as she exited. As she came out, she waved, and then they followed her home. But they couldn't see her face, which was covered by the plumes of her hat or maybe a burden. Yeah, but definitely... Yeah, she just had an eagle on her face.

She's like, that's her. It was actually Marm's maid who was now wearing her clothing. Wait! Hold the fucking phone! How are there two women this big in New York City? She found another giant German lady, I guess. That's insane. She's like, I have an interesting proposition for you. Yes, I'm missing.

So Marm then waved until the coast was clear and made a getaway in awaiting carriage. The next day, the court... And another carriage! Got to take off in that carriage. The adrenaline rush is insane, isn't it? We're really doing it. Slow down!

Yes, we don't want to attract any attention. You've got 20 feet. I feel like the coast is clear. So the next day, the courtroom was packed. District attorneys sat at the prosecution table with Robert Pinkerton, Hal and Hummel were at the defense table alone. Hal finally informed the court,

quote, if your honor, please, my clients are not in court. So that's a problem, is it not? Everybody cheered in the courtroom. The district attorney jumped up, quote, I move your honor that the bonds of the defendants be forfeited and a bench won't be issued for the defendants. Judge Barrett ordered a bail to be forfeited, but Marm had unsmarted the bail system.

Hell, yeah. That's why she had gone to Hal and Hummel's office the day before to sign real estate transfers. So the two properties had been put up for bail. She legally transferred them to one of her daughters, then to the relatives of the bondsman. Wow. And somehow this got around the law,

and so now the property put up by the bondsman can no longer be attached to the bail, so no property, no bail money. So the lawyers explain that to the court. That had to feel good. Wow. Hal said, quote, I believe Ms. Mandelbaum acted upon Mark Twain's theory that absence of body

is often better than presence of mind. Hal was thoroughly enjoying the moment. He said he didn't know where the defendants were, finding them was up to the district attorney's office, and the illustrious Pinkerton detectives. And then he winked at Robert Pinkerton. I'm astounded at how long the sarcastic wink has been around. The first guy to use the wink as a fuck you,

they were like, that wasn't cool. Why did he wink? She's like Thanos, dude. She's incredible. You cannot beat this woman. Marm, Julius, and Herman were now on their way to Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. It is estimated she escaped with about $1 million

in cash and jewelry, which is about $25 million in today's money. As a PR move, the DA then tried to spin what happened. Quote, thank God we are rid of the villain. Yeah. I was one step ahead of her the entire time. I wanted her to go like this. All we had to give her was freedom. Now, look at this octagon of fruit, and let's move on.

So I should call the froctagon? Pinkerton agreed, quote, it is a victory enough to have got rid of her, and we ought to be thankful for their redemption. You're welcome. You're welcome, everyone. Pinkerton's hip hip. Okay.

So Marm, Julius, and Herman were only in Canada for a few days before they were arrested in charge with bringing stolen property across the border. Canadian authorities had gotten a tip from an unnamed source. Marm had diamonds valued at $4,000 that had allegedly been stolen from a company in New York. They were confiscated. Marm tried to bribe the police, but they would not take a bribe.

Goddamn Canadian police, man. Goddamn it. That would be outside of the mounting code. No. The fuck are you talking about? It's money. Obviously, I would make a hell of a life with those diamonds, but unfortunately, no.

I took an oath to the moose. No. Hamilton replaced requested the DA, the New York DA, send someone up to Hamilton to testify, but the DA declined. Because the crime did not qualify for extradition to the US, so he was like, fuck it. I don't care.

Yeah. But I thought that was okay now. You could just extradite for nothing. Is that not... Keep going. The jewelry store's owner came to Hamilton and said that diamonds resembled ones that he had stolen, but he couldn't positively say yes.

It's such a softball for him to be like, those are mine. Yeah. You're like, we didn't think he'd be honest. Clearly got paid off. Okay, gotcha. The prosecution had no case. It was dropped. They were all released and Marm petitioned to get her diamonds back.

Wow. She pettied him. Yeah. Marm said about recreating her New York life in Hamilton. She bought a two-story house and opened a dry good store. Was everything wet? Everything was just sopping wet? Her two younger children moved to Hamilton.

Marm joined the local synagogue and became an active member of the Hamilton community. What the fuck? Who did that? What had that infuriated me? This stuff was like, Hamilton! She sent a letter to friends in New York City announcing her new store, quote,

I beg to announce to you that I have opened my new Emporium in every respect, the equal of my late New York establishment. I shall be pleased to continue our former pleasant business relations, promising alone to pay the best prices for the articles which you may have for sale. With my present facilities, I am able to dispose of all commodities forwarded to me with dispatch and security. I am yours faithfully, F Mandelbaum.

She had also transferred ownership of the warehouses before fleeing, so authorities in New York couldn't confiscate any of the merchandise in them. This is just... I mean, how many laws got changed after this? But what if she were to do this? They have like a fake marm on a board. She could go there and then we're screwed again.

You see what I'm saying, Dan? So that's why we shut that loophole all together. She'll figure out a goddamn way! So she was basically taking this stuff from the warehouse and bringing it up and selling it. It's great. November 18... She just...

I mean, really, what happened was she moved. That's all that happened. At the end of all of this, she just moved to Canada. November 1885, Marm's 18-year-old daughter, Annie, went to New York to visit friends and she came down with ammonia and died. Marm and Julius snuck back to the city to say goodbye to Annie. Julius shaved off his beard and hair.

Marm couldn't do much because she was huge. What about a big-ass hat? Yeah, of course, yeah. From the New York Times, November 12, 1885. Quote, The thought of having her favorite child buried without taking a last look at her face touched a tender cord in the heart of the...

I can't believe you just hiccuped right there. Wait, what? There's a hiccup, right? Yeah, there's a hiccup. That was great. That was fucking awesome. It's a long show. I mean, that's like eight shots, you know?

I can't wait for it to start. When's he gonna shout the date? I can't wait. Last look at her face touched a tender cord in the heart of the hardened criminal. To gratify her wish, she took the chance of falling into the hands of police and passing her remaining days in prison.

She showered kiss after kiss on the cheek of the dead girl and her piteous cries brought tears to the eyes of the persons who witnessed the scene. Several times she attempted to leave the room, but she kept returning to the coffin and finally had to be carried away. Jesus Christ. It feels like we need a hiccup

to break up the moment a little bit. A crowd gathered outside the house. They'd come to pay their respects. So this was not that low-key. I mean, like, yeah. They were... Yeah, but remember, the cops were always on her side. They were Marm's old criminals, bank thieves, pickpockets.

Annie was buried next to Wolf. Marm and Julius did not make the trip to the cemetery, but took a train back to Canada. Wolf was like, I'm not dead! Hello? I knew I was boring, but this is fucked! I was saying, come on, the whole time! I got an idea for a business.

But life in Canada wasn't the same to Marm. A reporter asked her how she liked living in Canada, and Marm said, quote, the name of the place is enough to sicken me. It's such a fuckin' New Yorkers, like, just 100%. It's all funny and clappy until you're like Woody Allen, you've never seen a forest. What are those things on the limbs?

She told someone else, quote, I would gladly forfeit every penny of my wealth in order to once again breathe freely the atmosphere of the 13th Ward. I just want to be free. The 13th Ward, I just want to smell shit again. I miss that clam night soil dead cat odor. On February 26, 1894,

Frederica Mandelbaum died surrounded by her family from Breitz disease, kidney thing. She was 65. Her obituary... Solid for back then, right? Yeah, that is pretty good life. Her obituary ran on the newspapers across the country. It mentioned her criminal past,

but also called her, quote, a woman of kindly disposition, broad sympathies, and large intelligence. Those are all shots. As well shot. They took a shot there. If you don't marm, like, we don't marm. Those are all shots.

The obituary guy was like, I'm also running a screenplay. And you can see the hint of the humor I put in them. The New York Times said, quote, her success was in a great measure due to her friendship for and her loyalty to the thieves with whom she did business. She never betrayed her clients

and when they got into trouble, she procured bail for them and befriended them to the extent of her power. Her body was returned to New York City to be buried alongside her husband and daughter. A huge crowd of mourners turned out for her funeral. Following marm's service, several of the mourners reported to police

that their pockets had been picked. That's... For marm! They did it for marm! It is believed that $10 million worth of goods... Just crying, like, I know. And then the other thing, I mean, just that... She won't be the same.

They're just stealing from each other? Yeah. I know, goodbye. Where's my handkerchief? You motherfucker, give me that. Oh, sorry. It's believed $10 million worth of goods passed through her stolen goods.

Holy shit. Marm handlebomb. And then more of those. More of those. One of the great stories. We got a good one! Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah.

All right. So I'm going to do a little thing that you guys hate. That part of the show is over. What a legend, though. Um, so, uh... There's an author named David Wallace Wells. And he is friends with a climate scientist who is working with the New York City

on how to deal with climate change. And they had a conversation. And he said... He said that we're going to start building a seawall to save New York. And the seawall is going to take 30 years to build. 30 Union years. That's like 70 real years.

So that... And he said, what does that mean? He goes, that means that Howard Beach is gone. Large parts of Queens are gone. And Southern Brooklyn is gone. Those places will not have a future. They will not be part of New York City. People will not hand their family homes down to their children.

They will stop doing repairs on subways. They will stop doing repairs on infrastructure. They will let... They already have. They will let that part of the city die. And that's climate change. And it's fucking happening now. And your house is on fire.

And it's time to do something. So you guys know our group, Planet Change 10. We have finally gotten the incorporation papers that took six months to get. We will be putting up the site, hopefully in the next couple of weeks. So you guys can start grouping up. And we're also working with some other people to make stuff that's going to be pretty powerful, I think.

We've gotten some of the big Hollywood fancies on board. Yeah. Yeah. All right. I don't know what else can I say. That's it? Yeah. Do you want to make a joke before you end or just...

No, I want it to end weird. Yeah. Well, you certainly have. Thank you guys for coming so much. Give it up for Akash Singh. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. Thank you.

Thank you, appreciate it.