The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 40 - The Past Times with Dilruk Jayasinha - Live

Episode Date: August 25, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Dilruk Jayasinha. Recorded live in Melbourne Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody, welcome to the Past Times Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date, history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither of us are guests this week. Jill Roach and Sire, please everybody. Amanda Mitha Legend. Oh my God, aren't you hot? Best dressed. Please everybody The man the myth the legend Oh my god, aren't you hot best dressed best dressed on the show for sure Thank you. Thank you. Did you call me deal root Josiah?

Like yeah, all right. I'm biblical now. Yeah. Yeah. No Jinsiah Jai singer I'm so much closer than last time.. True, I think you call me. And by the way, on these shows names are really irrelevant. No, it's not a thing. It's just going to do a rook, like the good old days. So you want to be a one-name person? You can't dress like Eddie Murphy raw and just go back on the day. You officially then are like,

No, I'm going with Andrew Rice Clay. Andrew Rice Claypot. That's what I'm going with. OK, he made the joke. You can laugh at that. It's OK. Yeah, it's a bit relaxed. I didn't do it. Racism is fun sometimes.

If he does it, it's not racist. It's fun. Well, you might as if they did it. No, I've never. If they do it. If these people do it. Well, nicely seen, boys. I've missed you.

Missed you? Yeah. Well, one of you. David hasn't even looked at you yet. I've missed you missed you. Yeah, well one of you. I Didn't even look to you yet. I don't think Dave knows you're here yet Hello Oh my lord Delruk hello friend the rice and Gotta get started honestly Congratulations being alive.

For now. I haven't a clone listed publicly like that yet, so I just nice that people go, yeah, it is nice that you're not dead. And you want to make this show a lot worse if you had died. Yeah, you're truly really happy. It would be really gross for us to bring you up. You could read that as an arbitrary notice. But if you don't know what happened about two weeks ago, I had a hot attack.

And it's, yeah, I know. It's not a bad one. It's here. Not even one. I haven't mentally processed it or anything yet. But my goalstein was giving me a great title for the show next year, which is Carina Rihad disease.

So I'll just... Oh, that is good. Oh, deal-freebleyder is the other one. So I got a lot of messages from people, you know, saying, hey, help your K and all that. It was nice, overwhelming, in fact. And I got one message from Dave Anthony, which simply said, show off.

LAUGHTER Come on. Well, we're all wondering what are you gonna do next? LAUGHTER So desperate for material. Yeah, that must have been part of it when it happened and you've kind of felt better. You were probably like, there's a lot of good comedy going to

climb out of this. No, I'm fine. I have like 10 minutes on scented candles. I don't need much of it. I'll find material on shit this. No, I'm fine. I have like 10 minutes on centered candles. I don't need much here. Yeah. I'll find material on shit stuff. That's great. Yeah.

No, I really love centered candles. Ha ha ha. Well, yeah, you want to do it? Yeah, let's fuck. I don't know. I just didn't see that coming. That's all. Listening and people listening at home, I just had a spit take. And put your tongue shut up my ass, let's see. Obviously now everyone knows I have no idea how to fuck.

Yeah. Pants on to the right thigh. I think you're just rubbing his belly button against you. pants on to the right, right thigh. I think he was just rubbing his belly button against you. I think that, but for some reason my legs wet, so I don't know what just happened. He does have a child somehow, he managed to do it once correctly.

Yeah, I don't know though, it might not be his. So welcome to the past times, what pass. So welcome to the past times, podcast. Yes! Would you like to guess which year? I'm guessing. Well, it's going to be an Australian paper. What's true? Oh, is there a range?

How early have you gone so far? How late? I think there are at least just done as a 1700s. Did we? What? Yeah, at that. How old are you? Like? They have newspapers on here all the way back to the 1600s. Yeah, what yeah, yeah, how old are you?

They have newspapers on here all the way back to the 1600s. Oh my god. They're not that good Well that eliminates the 1600s. I'll guess I'll guess 1804 all right. I'll go 1815 the yeah, and it's price-to-write prices right. So if you're within 10 years you get both showcases Neither unless you go over neither if you get anything. It's January 5th 1900 Oh Victoria the age The age it's the name of the paper not a great name the

The age it's the name of the paper not a great name the Strange but they're never normal it's the age the age Well, so the first page is all classified you mean the first age page the first age page is all classified But there's one section. It's really awesome. It's called straight And there's about 15 of them It's called Strayed. And there's about 15 of them. Strayed into Paddock, yearling heifer, not claimed three days old. Wait, it's all things that have strayed? Wow, Strayed or stolen, Baymare, Fat, Star, Black, Main,

Tail, branded, JC, New Show, It's like Strayed Animal? Strayed or stolen, one brown horse, blazed face. Okay, I understood brown horse. What was the other shit that you were saying? Blased face? Blased face? Straight red cow, white-marking.

That is not, and that's not what, that guy was just tripping. J.D. I lost my red cow. Jumped over the moon. Yeah, your cow was dying. He was like, the dish I was red. Dish in the spoon fucked up as well. The dish also straight. I'm looking in your cat was dying. The dish was red. Dish in the spoon, fuckdog as well.

The dish also straight. I'm looking in your direction, moon. Yeah, so, and then there's a dog, straight, elstern, wick, small, black dog. You don't have your heartbreak too much. The dog is dead either way. It was 1900. This one says finder rewarded.

Like, I'm going to need some cash for your dog right unfortunately my wallet straight so Can't pay that filler Straight all right, so I'm done with straight. I mean that is the front page. That's the front page Have you ever had a need to have a straight? Have you ever had an animal runoff on you? Oh, yeah, yeah, no other than Garrett like I bit through my leash Yeah, I had a cat runaway. Oh, yeah, and a dog yeah My house burned down when I was a teenager and like we had to like they were they were all gone your property Straight yeah, the property straight. Yeah, the house straight actually. I came home when I was like well straight into this guy

Wow, something straight. Where's that red cow? I came home and I was like, well straight into the sky. Wow, something straight, where's that red cow? None of the... Then the next section is called Missing Friends. So, as far as the echelon of importance, this paper was like, God damn, people are missing animals. And then they're like, also a lot of friends of Danish. Well, Missing Friends could be,

they're just missing their friends. They're just putting a shout out, how are you guys? Because this is before Twitter. Right, yeah. That's right. There's one here, A. White, right, Richmond. Meet corner, Bernala Hurston, Burridge,

8 p.m. Saturday, Georgina. So she's looking for Richmond. She's telling them where to meet. And so he's going to read the paper and he's like, oh my God, I haven't been able to find Georgia in years. Wow. So this is people who are just missing their friends are missing. So I'm also some other guys squeezing ads.

But yeah, yeah, it's because there's no way to find anybody. It's 1900. Right. If you lose Frank's address, like if he moves, that's it. Right. You're like, I hope I see him again. Yeah. And if not, I hope you see this newspaper, a little shout out.

You'll see the newspaper. So no one told me life was going to be this way. Your friends have strayed. You're in the fountain. I found them. You're burying the fountain! I found them! They're all the founts! Splashing around a little. I don't know if I want to hang out with these people, to be honest. Six white weirdos who have too much money without jobs.

Especially back then, anyone named Gunter was more dangerous. For sure. Here. Lost and found. This one's kind of weird. Fran! A friend! a found a friend. Brown and white, dinghy, eight feet. Well, vendors.

Reward, Marina. Brown and white dinghy is what, better than I call fucking each other. That's true. It's code. We put our code in the paper. Let's go make a brown and white dinghy. I've been in Australia 18 years, but I might not be always spot on, but I think dinghy, he's boat, right?

Yeah, you're right. Because dinghy is condom. Oh, really? Yeah, a brown and white dinghy. Very different issue. Wrong hole! But I still finished. I've got a brown and white dinger. So as far as this being a paper, it feels like it's not big on news. It feels like everyone's just like, we're missing so much shit.

I've lost my red cow, my best friend, and I'm looking for a boat. Well, back then, a lot of the classifies were at the beginning of the paper. That was your hot. That was as big as that. Well, I suppose your priorities in life would be, where's my pet, where are my friends, and then let's see what's happening in the world. Yeah. Yeah.

So you stop with what you're missing. Yeah. I bet the stories are going to be like, a lot of people are missing people. There's some really important news. And so this is something that apparently ship captains put in the paper, they put an ad in when they got to town. The highfields captain Dunham will not be responsible

for debts contracted by any member of his crew while in this port. And then there's more, there's more captains. any member of his crew while in this port. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss like Anthony Shmantany, like. I'm Slige Linger. I'm drunk. My name's Slashik Jer, but I've been drinking gin. So Slige Linger. So again, I'm so sorry I'm slow with this, but so there's a captain who's like,

look, if someone says that Daddy's mine, they're wrong. And I have proof here because I got it printed. Yes, and it seems like if you get off the ship, the way you swindle when you go to town is like, captain said he'd pay for it. They're like, okay, all right. That's what's happening.

They're going to the town, they're like, so can I get free drinks? Captain said he'd take care of it. Well, I'm looking in the paper. What's his name? Schleischlinger? I don't see anything as it says he won't. All right.

Well, he must have anticipated the alcohol because they're like, they're gonna come up and say Schleischlinger. Yeah. He's like, it's like it's slashing, Jared. They'll be drunk. Go and slistling. Okay, so we'll end on my favorite classified ad. Dead horses and cattle remove free of charge.

W. Stephen. It's a telephone 2217. I can't believe the guy who's got that work has the telephone. It's a telephone 2217. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I love dead animals so much I will pick them up from your yard. It would be an honor, ma'am. It's a lot of dead horses. I should be paying you. Yeah. So what do you do with these?

None of your business, ma'am. I wonder they're going missing because this book is obviously... Yeah. Yeah. What did they have? Someone's slipped their throats. Wellroats wonder who that would be anyway off to my fetish job job job haha there I go again all right uh so now in the next page is there's news

like there's actual news stories that's exciting in the next page is, there's news. Hmm, there's actual news stories. That's exciting, in the age. Headline, I care like I've aged since I started. You have, thank you. Headline, careless use of fire. It's great, if you're gonna start with a news story, yes. Daniel O'Brien, an eccentric individual. Yeah, by, I think we got it man. Like on the headline, we got Daniel O'Brien.

It's a bit eccentric. Was charged at the police court today with careless use of fire. The evidence showed that on Sunday night, he deliberately set fire to the grass in a paddock close to the town and a serious conflagration was averted by the watchfulness of persons residing in the neighborhood. The grass was tired, tired, it says tired.

It says the grass was tired. When reached for comment, the grass, yawn. I'm exhausted by the whole idea. I would have grasped and makes you tired. That's right, yeah. But not tired, gross It's called indica They had to have meant...

They had to have meant fired I don't know, I mean, I guess The grass was tired three times The grass was tired three and had to be fired Five three times, like a something seen from the apprentice You can get out O'Brien was sentenced to six months in prison on a charge of stealing newspapers from the public reading rooms.

So they were like, he got charged with it. And on a charge. Oh, he got six months in prison. And then he got charged for stealing newspapers from the public reading rooms and sentenced to another six months. So he set fires in there like six months. Oh, and the fucking paper thing. Finally. The motive. Maybe. I don't know. How does this work? Put him in jail.

Setting fire to a place and stealing people's newspaper. Same charge. It's like, probably stealing the paper to set fire. Maybe it's connected. Well, I don't know. When reached for comment the grass, so they didn't see any connection. There were two tied to comment. I honestly exhaust the bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad old bad family on a trip to Mentone. Mentone. Mentone. For the new year, I was astounded to find that five minutes walk from the baths right on the beach, a most foul smelling tip had been established. You have a file telling tip with a brown and white dick. Yeah, so you can get it. Yeah. What, is this like a Yale Preview? Giving forth the most sickening stench,

I ascertained that the last deposit was made last Saturday. By the way, you're not ascertaining that in any way. It's not like cutting down a tree and you can count the rings. He's like, last Saturday was the last time. The ascertainer. I think it reflects great discredit upon the authorities that, with a large, sparsely populated district, all about,

they should select a place upon the beach to throw filth. Words cannot express the fowness of this place. So why write? Because he doesn't have Instagram to show it. I can't explain it through words. Let me write it. Oh, damn it. If the board of health will only send down

an inspector next Saturday afternoon, I think he'll be able to spend a really happy day. What? Yours and see bubonic? That's right. Bubonic? That's right. By the way, I've had a bit of a chest cold lately, but that's irrelevant. Nothing to worry about there. I spent a lot of time at the smelly tip, and my skin's falling off a little bit, but

nothing to worry about there. Sure, it's nothing more than a skin cold. I just had a flashback to SteelSong this green guide lettuce podcast Well, but people listen to this because there will be that voice I like that he's catching shrapnel Check this out. I mean the greatest thing that I have one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life was still asking me if He if Marin would come on my on his podcast and I'm like this is gonna be fucking hilarious It's so we go over to Mark's house

And then he starts the voice of Marcus just like Just like looks at me and I'm like, and every thing I want. Did he say anything? I'm like, does he do that the whole time? The whole time he just fucking mocked him to his face. Didn't think since he was recovered from that yet, he's still like, what the fuck was that thinking?

Storm at Fairman Hill, the continuous heat of the past four days, averaging over 100 in the shade, coming out last night in a tremendous storm in some parts of this district. And over 100 points of rain fell at a very short time. Wait, I'm sorry. Okay, he had me at 100 degrees in the shade

because I was like, interesting reading. Yeah. But now he's counting raindrops? This is truly rainman. It's points. Do you remember when's counting raindrops? This is truly rain man. It's points. Don't you remember when they measured raindrops? For sure. What a great night put up by the rain tonight.

A hundred points. The ground only put up 50. It was completely defeated by the rain. Absolute brow. Torrential, best on ground? Unbelievable. The grass-reached for combat said it was tired. Raindrops said it's excited to get another shot at it tomorrow night.

Round two in the Best of Five series of Weather vs. Land. Over 100 points of Rayn fell in a very short time. There was great destruction among the sparrows with which you should it was like an oozy was shooting these goddamn birds they have never been they were just pelted by rain so many dead I feel like we'll see them next week in the classifieds and the next headline is thousands of sparrows killed See next headline if you're interested about the Sparrow story. I'll follow the lead on another article that I'm doing. This is a different town.

All right, I thought underneath another bloke's like, I'll clean it up for free. Like, it's a Sparrow's. I'm ready to move him. I'm not mastered nothing. In Tungala, last night, the wind blew with hurricane force and thousands of sparrows were killed by being blown against walls, long and long fences.

I have been blown against walls. Back when you were drinking. I would write you a paper about it. So this guy was just like actively watching Sparrows get pelted from Hurricane Wind. And by the way, wouldn't you just be like there was a hurricane and steady was like, Hurricane Wind killed Sparrows. What you measure, you used to measure hurricanes in Sparrows days. A hundred points of rain, 50 smashed Sparrows,

quite a storm last night. This actually says 45 points of rain. Oh, it's guy. There's another story from Kyapram, a change occurred last night when a severe thunderstorm passed over the district about a half an inch of rain fell, and the weather is now delightful. This could be...

This could be... This could be one story. This guy was like, it's a three-parter. People are like, that's really one episode, bro. Nah-ah. Nah-ah. A bunch of rainfall. And... in the storm, Sparrows died.

Well, it's like Hunger Games. They wanted to make it one, but then the abuses came in, and it said, no, spreading across three stories. We can't really make so many of these three articles. Can I finish? Sure. Nearly 100 sparrows were picked up early this morning. Same story.

Two principal corners of Main Street. What is supposed they were killed by the storm? Yeah, no, we just heard this story twice. They may have been killed by the storm. No, I know. There were hurricane gales. It's a different town. So everybody's measuring the hurricane by a sparrow. I like that.

Editor was like, we can't lose one of these. We could not just make this a general story about a storm. So you're telling me on the same night, there was 100 points of rain, a thunderstorm, and winds that killed a hundred sparrows What happened to all the sparrows? We're not sure Do you guys know if an Australian says to you I was up at sparrows? What that means? I think it's gonna be pervy or weird

It's not it's not pervy. It's just weird. It's the full sentences. I was up at sparrows fought Which means you woke up so early you heard the Sparrow's farting. Mm-hmm. Dave, get the car. I don't want to do this anymore. I'm not comfortable in this place at all anymore. I was up the Sparrow's Fart. I'm a bird proctologist. I was up the Sparrow's Fart. This is a hell of a-

Carm. This is from hell of a farm. This is from Beliba. Whatever. A tree ignited by lightning. Dave, if this is on the same fucking night, it's all. This is a big storm. God damn it.

Wow. A severe wind and dust storm accompanied by lightning occurred here yesterday about 5 p.m. A tree was struck by lightning near M. W. Mason's farm and caught fire in the center. But fortunately, it was observed by Mr. J. Mason who cut it down. And he cut down the lightning juice. He cut down the fire tree. The trees don't fire to cut it down. I bet it's that guy who let the fires. And carrying water with a sledge prevented any damage to adjacent grass and fences.

So I cut down a fire tree to help stop the fire spreading. Yeah. Oh, that's kind of legendary. And he did it with a hammer? Basically, no, where'd you come up with that? That stole that stole that stole. That stole you're thinking of sorry. I'm actually I've been thinking about Thor a lot through all of this.

How did he knock it down though? I'm actually I've been thinking about Thor a lot through all of this How did he knock it down though? I'm presumably using an axe or oh, I thought you said something like No, he's a sledge to get hammer sledge hammer. That's how I got there motherfucker Not dare use sir You could have gotten away with it too, but you had to say sledge you fool Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Gareth. Yes, this same guy. I listen I have a new podcast called we're here to help that I'm doing my friend Jake Johnson It's basically a call-in advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't But we try to help people

with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. Following the announcement and creation of Belgian hair and skunk truss in Indiana, what the f- Is this more animals that weren't missing?

Oh no, no. Comes the report according to the Chicago Tribune, so it's an American story that weren't missing. Oh, no. Comes the report according to the Chicago Tribune. So it's an American story that they're covering. Oh, OK. They ran out of storm stuff. They were like, there's a bunch of skunks at Chicago. Go with it. That Herman Euler of Posey County

has succeeded in almost cornering the supply of Angora cats. This guy's my hero. That's right. They're all mine. Can we get one? Now! You fool, I'm filling a mansion with them. They're all mine. During the last year he has raised and sold no fewer than 3,000 in four years.

That's right. It's crazy. You should see my couches. Gosh, are they clawed? Ha, ha, ha. Oh, I've made extra cats just out of the fur they've left behind on the sofa. He's cornered the market on. Because nobody else was like, hey,

I'm going to get all of one breed of cat. He was like, ah, I'm doing that. And the only one is about 3,000 babies. Some poor guys like, I'm gonna start an Angora cat business. I'll fucking kill you. You have any idea what you're trying to do? You'll find no wife. I'll tell you that much. Every woman who comes over here is disgusted by how I'm living in piss squalor. Do you have any idea how many litter boxes you have? I've given up both of my bathrooms for them. I go in the litter now. The only way to make this work. Nature's adjusting. Okay, what do you do, Shelley? Hello! Oh, oh dear. I've said too much again.

Oh, this is just a... This is a weird, we're clearly in a part of the people where they're talking about other places. Right, okay. A strange order has been issued by the French post office. No more stamps! We're done with envelopes, too. Just crumpling up, we figure it out.

Strange order has been issued by the French Post Office and a strange justification given for it. That's amazing. So they're doing something weird in their rationale is bizarre too Henceforth morning envelopes are not too pass through the post All right, and envelopes it's right morning MOU for the people I get at the spare I'm right. Yeah, I know right. So I thought right okay. You thought like set like funeral letters Well, that's what it is isn't it? It's a it's a it's a oh more. I thought yes I thought it was like the early post or something like that It's a it's a it's a oh Morn I thought yes, I thought it was like the early post or something like that. It's a it's a

I told you it's confusing and it's good. It's morning morning lettuce which morning envelopes morning envelope It must be a different color presumably the notebook paper may have as deep an edge as the center desires But the cover must be white or it may be tinted But at least is not to have a black edge. Oh so the morning it had a black edge because like you're sending it to. Yeah, you're sending it. That's nice because you go to your mailbox and it's just. Oh no. We've got two people die, Diane. Oh gosh. Oh no. No one's gonna live. Oh no. Oh I'll there's a bit like, no one's gonna pet me. Die with it. Huh. Oh no.

Oh, I'll just have to send the regular. It is not that the department is out of sympathy with the expression of mourning by means of stationery. I think they need to say that. It's not that we find it great that people have died in your family. On the contrary, the sending of morning cards is a decided source of revenue.

Ah. Tt. We're making a killing, not killing, not a killing. Sorry, that's terrible to, we'll see Poopsie. They've cornered the market. Yeah. We coroner the market. Don't owe me, motherfucker. It is that experience

has shown the post office authorities that morning envelopes are easily tampered with. They can be open. And if the gummed edge is torn or frayed in the process, a little ink rubbed over the black surface makes everything look right, a white envelope. It's like, okay. So, we get it. You're not doing it anymore, though. Hold on. So, employees are stealing when they see a morning envelope, because they know there's going

to be money inside. Oh, right. Okay. This, then, checks out with humanity. Thank you. Because it was, I was getting really confused with where's the incentive. Cash. Wow. Cash. Wow.

That's amazing. That's so fucked up. Oh, and so us. I can't believe people are bad. I know. Well, just looking at the weather pattern of the doll, it sounds like climate change. Just just has been around.

Think about all those sparrow letters, the cryo-note that one now. Holy shif. Doctors are now holding the veil responsible for red noses in women. That's it? Women, we found the cure of your red noses. Marriage. Your veils.

For men, no such excuse can be found. Men can wear veils, and their noses don't get as red. The British medical journal says... The British, a doctor was like, what is it? I will find out. Come here, Angoras, gather around Papar. I've got another one of my mysteries to solve.

I'll just puff on this opium and go in the bath. A German physician formulates an indictment of the veil as a cause of a cacia roséa, I can't read. Roséa. Acne roséa. Acne roséa. I've heard a roséa should. I've heard of acne roséa. Well that's because people step on veils, bro. Effecting the nose and he relates a number of instances in which young women otherwise an excellent health developed this distressing condition consequent upon the habit of writing, cycling, etc. in veils. Cycling in a veils to get a goddamn nightmare.

I'm sorry, I just need to confirm, a veil is this covering that you just have on your head. Over the face. And that is causing this on our nose causing this, or not causing the nose to break out. So because they're biking, it's like, you know when you ride with a towel over your face on the peloton, it's just like that. And you're like, why is my nose all right? I don't understand what happened. Well, this is like an anti-mask guy.

Yeah, right, right. I'm getting acne rosacea. I can't wear my mask anymore. His view is that the lesion is caused by the friction of the skin against the veil impregnated with moisture from the breath. This guy's enjoying this. Yeah, I'm enjoying this. Oh, I'm not even going to go too much. It's like, I'm already fiction-

Oh, they're getting impregnated on the nose. It's going to tear it. It's awful red over there. It doesn't know how he's German actually. Oh, it gets awfully red up sale I'm gonna peel back a veil on this story The effect being exaggerated by the tightness with which Just finish the story, the story.

Then you finish the man. Oh. With which it is necessary to attach the veil when indulging in athletic pursuits. I just keep, like, a magic ring of veil, like, being athletic. Have you been to Saudi Arabia? I would never. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Paul being athletic. Have you been to Saudi Arabia? I would never. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. I'm not be having another hot attack. Pfft. Pfft. That damn veil.

We did it! Pfft. Damn, the whole idea is... The whole idea it! The whole idea of this podcast is to have the guest have already done. So now I get white-to-past time. Well, it's actually the original title of the Pastor Way podcast. The remedy is obviously to abandon the use of the veil or to wear it loose, anointing the nose with lannolin or other suitable lubricants. Oh. Oh.

Finally. I'm going out. Well, I won't remove the veil. I'd look ridiculous. Excuse me while I put KY on my face. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Well, I'm off for tennis. A telephone of a novel character has been exhibited at the Paris Academy of Science. Hello!

It is me, the telephone. The inventor, M. Dessaud, has constructed an apparatus which receives and registers messages in the absence of the user. Excuse me? Oh my God. So you're saying when I'm gone, I'll have an idea, but maybe I could find all these friends of mine that have gone missing. Ha-ha-ha.

Political speeches, business communications, and music-all songs can therefore be stored and tapped at will. Experiments between Paris and Marseille are said to auger wide success for the New Teleth, it's not a telephone! Alright Dave, there's other people on the show. It's a, it's an answering machine. It's an answering machine.

Yeah, it's an answering machine. Yeah, this is pretty amazing. This is 1900. Yeah. What the fuck happened to it? Well people were like, no, but he's going to one zet. Work on something else. Why do women get so red when they wear their veil?

Nobody needs something that's useless, huh? This one's not coming handy, huh? Who cares? They're called back! It's so valuable. He was like, isn't that amazing? No, no, no. What's with all the sparrows?

That's the news, baby. This is a little literature. The entertainment back then, they'd be like, entertainment. And then they talk about books. Yeah. Well, the most brilliant novel of the year is Miss Colmondelays.

Oh, it says right here. Pronounced Chumley. What? It's Colmondelays. Oh, it says right here. Pronounced Chumly. What? It's Colmondelays! Pronounced Chumly. It's literally spelled C-O-C-H-O-L-M-O-N-D-E-L-E-Y. And it says pronounced Chumly. Mm.

It's the most Australian thing that's ever fucking happened. Well, it's like Lesta and Grovna. You know, there's a bunch of fucking letters in there that you don't need. Well, it's like Lester and Grovner, you know? There's about two fucking letters in there that you don't need. Yeah, or Worcester. Yeah, Worcester. Yeah, whoever came up with that was like, mm-hmm, but there's a twist.

But it's not what you think it is, but Worcester. No, that's fucking Get rid of the sea. Never. What? Nah. Now what? Checkmate, motherfucker. F*** off.

F*** off. The most brilliant novel of the year is Miss A Chumley's red potage, a worthy successor to Diana Tempest. In the opening chapter, Lord New Haven, having discovered an intrigue between his wife and Hugh Scarlett, challenged the latter to a novel form of duel. Taking a couple of paper-lighters from the mental piece, he holds them out to Scarlett.

Whichever of them draws the shorter of the two must kill himself with it six months. What the fuck? By the way, this is the review that's just giving you every day absolutely. And by the way, what the fuck with the book? Yeah, first of all, spoiler alert. Yeah, that's like King Solomon. Wait, I can't wait. The next sentence is, the idea is not new.

That's how most men die nowadays. The number one killer of men over 30. Short, short taper drawing in a manage. Triangles. Well, listen, it's like the high stakes bachelor. By the way, if that's how the fucking bachelor had ended, holy shit. People be like, oh my god. Clark has to kill himself. Now we're gonna follow Clark for six months on his journey towards suicide. What the fuck show is this? Give him both the rows. Sorry, Devon, I just really enjoyed meeting your family and our night in the Jacuzzi. Clark, you have six months, you're on the clock. Good luck with everything.

Sorry to work out. Crazy. Anyway. Yeah, yeah. Make sure you have a morning envelope at the end of it to send it up. The patriotic song as a means of suppressing oratory is a new political development. What? I just, yeah, we say it one more time, sorry. The patriotic song as a means of suppressing oratory is a new political development. Okay. So, that's a nice setup. What suppressing oratory is a new political development. Okay, so that's a nice setup. What suppressing oratory mean?

Because you're stopping free speech. You're not allowing people to speak basically. Because it's a post-suppository, something very different. Well, in a way. Yeah, that's not what I thought. That's how I stop most political speech. I'm sick of politics. Now, if everyone doesn't mind, I've got something to show you.

At Mr. J. H. Cook's Brunswick meeting last night, Mr. Hamilton made an effort to appeal to the finer feelings of his fellow toilers, but was subjected to a storm of interjections which culminated in a verse of Sons of the Sea Varsiferously rendered so everyone So that started yelling at him And then they started singing it so Well, it's also that happens a lot in the States where like protesters will come into some Polit like some like insider political event and they'll be like You know like stop polluting stop polluting the oceans and then people will just go

You say you Like you don't mother fucker you need the ocean Stop polluting, stop polluting the oceans and then people just go, you were saying, you were, you're like, it's done motherfucker, you need the ocean, you were saying, don't need the ocean anyway. Mr. Hamilton rose to the occasion with a demand for three cheers for the queen. Wow. What a little fucking teacher's pet, yeah. Excuse me, man, we're going to gonna cheer for the queen if we liked. An old gentleman in the hall caused considerable surprise by at once hooting lustily.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, someone's fucking an owl. Afterwards he explained that he thought they were cheers for Malin. I'm sorry, I thought you said Malin, which obviously made me whoot lost the lane. Three cheers for the queen. Did you say Malin? Oh, I didn't know oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, sides. He was really confused when he went to battle for Malin in a country. Yeah, God save Malin. Oh, the Queen. Who? We have a Queen? Oh, not as only. More patriotic bells were sung and Mr. Hamilton gave up his attempt to speak to the audience. Yeah, he was just like, after nearly three hours of it. After three hours, he was like, all right, all right.

It seems like it's not happening anymore. I know the hip hip hooray. Oh, for Malin. No, pop-hop, stop. Oh, oh, she had the pinkest nose. Like an Angora cat. She had a pink pink no grandpa. Oh, it's moving again.

It's been years. And there's been a hundred points in my pants, have you known? McLean! I'm a clean the Victorian uniforms the best cloth troops every man in the contingent this is during the the Boer Wars so South African there's a bunch of you know we're killing everything every man and the and the contingent is said to have a new uniform by Monday and from that day the attachment will lose the composite non-descript character as regards dress that it now presents the fall the full uniform outfit will probably not be in the camp till Thursday. Each man what is happening each man is to have two khaki coats two two pairs of cord pants, a sleeve waist coat, an overcoat, and cape, and a light suit of khaki drill.

For the genocide. The weirdest episode of Querai. It's like a fashion show. You can see here everyone has two khaki pants, a nice best coat and a cape. This is the outfit that says, sorry everyone, colonization just isn't for you. That news non-whites get out the way. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't, I can't. I can't. Fucking capes. The lights are... I'm super racist.

The light suit of Kekky Drill is for fatigue work, or to wear on board ship. That's right. This can be for fatigue work. Oh, ship boarding. What won't this look accomplished? Including the boots, the putties, the felt hat, the service cap, and other articles of wear, the weight of each man's clothing will be over 20 pounds.

That's right, they're gonna die in these. Get those black-edged envelopes ready. This is a death suit. By the way, the sound of the average is like sweet. They're like We didn't do anything to them The Victorian troops will probably be the best clothes troops taking part in the campaign Oh, it's like yeah, that's like in a wall show the best dress Who are you wearing Victorian army?

What are you nominated for we're gonna kill people who aren't our color? I just want an isolation of the down you we're gonna kill people No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And people laughing and crying. Gareth Reynolds can't be Senator. Ah. And that's such a good shot for a minute. We're going to kill people who aren't our color. I'll just read the headline in this one. The Bubonic flag reports from New Caledonia. Only six whites affected. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That is like a lot of the COVID headlines where people are like, oh my god, it's shit, oh sorry, it's, uh, oh yeah, seems like white people are doing okay.

I don't know what I'm gonna care about, actually. But wait, didn't we set up earlier a guy who, what, what plague was he involved with? Who? That was a bubonic, so I think he was that he's like, a guy just signed the letter bubonic. Yeah, well I think we might have a fucking, guy just signed the letter bubonic. Yeah, well, I think we might have a fucking guy just signed the letter bubonic.

That's right, bubonic. And I look, weird bubonic plague. He's like, I was pretty overt about this. I'm signing letters bubonic. Murder it more well. Mr. John Hall. How many whites? No, God, might it.

Like two, we're fine. Mr. John Hall held an inquiry yesterday respecting the death of Walter Dullin, who was found dead at Boulara on the morning of the second. The evidence was cropative of the particulars, which appeared in the age. The jury returned the the following verdict. That the deceased died from internal disease

accelerated by violence inflicted by some person. So his pre-existing condition was being killed? I got kicked in the cancer! Well, he clearly died from heart failure after being beaten to death. Shocking. Corner? No more questions. It's like guns don't kill people. That's like that narrative. It was internal bleeding.

It's, uh, he died from a holes in his body related to a gun disease. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha And by the way, the paper jury finds you guilty. Wherever you are. Wherever you are. Whoever you are. Case finished. What's a judge? An actor's squabble. This is from Perth John Coleman, the well-known comedian, was charged in the political... It was the comedy festival.

Yeah. Was charged in police court this morning with having threatened to kill Emily Lazern, She was the comedy festival. Was Jargon Police Court this morning with having threatened to kill Emily Lazern, a member of the comedy company, now playing on the Gold Fields? Jesus Christ! I was acting! Completing failed to appear and the police stated that she had apparently left the district. The accused was therefore discharge. She had a culprit.

She had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit. He had a culprit.

He had a culprit. He had a culprit. So, he was like, I'm going to kill her. And then, and then she was gone. And then she was like, okay, well then it's fine. Well, if she's gone, you can't kill her. So, go back to acting. Good work if he's gone, you can't kill her. So go back to acting good work Or will you acting the whole time?

You were weren't you? God. He's no you are gonna kill her. Okay. No Stunned in the water a young man named Jose when diving into the water He did it in the bath once Oh, oh, oh. He did it in the bath once. When diving into the water at the public bath, struck his head against the bottom of the river. It came up feet first. Oh, my God. What a way of saying.

Why can't they just admit that people die from things? He died from trying to breathe through his feet. As we've all done when his women... It sounds like he got... He hit his head. Stuck in the line. No, he's not dead. Oh.

Wait, why is this game bumping? Yeah. He just had his feet sticking out. Well, it's just Jose's a foot guy now. So he's upside-down town. I said, is it wrong that I'm actually kind of like impressed that there was someone named Jose back in his strip? This is a stripil, yeah?

Yeah. He was probably thrown in the fucking river. Yeah. I'm there, like, I've heard they don't float. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. If he sinks, he's not white. I knew it. Daniel Collins, a local youth jumped into the river

and pulled Jose out. Otherwise, he would no doubt have been drowned For on being taken out of the river. It was found that he was stunned. Oh, so he performed mouth-to-foot resuscitation Yes, he probably He's had on a rocker's head and passed out this guy. Yeah, yeah feet, but somehow his feet were up That's the part I can't get past. Yeah, it's strange. He died, he fell and hit his head and ended up like a cartoon. Oh, just feet up.

I think he's okay, his feet are moving. No head yet. No head still. So this is happening at Ballarat. At the city court. Someone would be in the saddest way I've ever heard. The only person who ever do that. Who, we're not all women, I didn't move. It's like Malene.

You're like, say God I have a mask on. Nobody can prove that I would. It wasn't me. I thought he said God save Colleen. I thought he said Ararat. At the city court today, James Murphy was charged with endeavouring to pass a $5 note on the defunct provincial and suburban bank. Inspector Young described the case as most daring and the accused on being sworn said he had no recollection of obtaining the note or

Attempting to pass it. It never happened. So he went to a bank with the note and they're finding him guilty for trying to give a bank a note. Is it fraud? They haven't said that. By the way, but he also was like, oh, that didn't happen. It was right away. It was from a bank that was at a business. So he tried to hand it over to the same person. So back then, each bank had their own notes.

Yes. Ah, right. When he was drinking in the red line hotel, he met a stranger there who had such a note in his possession, but he did not know how it got into his keeping. The bench discharge he accused as there was nothing known against him previously. What a fucking weird talk. By the way, obviously a white gentleman.

They were like, well, you've done nothing wrong. We don't know how this money ended up in your pocket, your sweet little boy. You just hung out with a guy who had it, and then you tried to pass it off, but you've never done anything wrong before. Get out of here, you little skimp. Jose, you're under arrest for having feet in a river. You dirty son of a bitch.

What are you gonna learn? This headline is to affectionate. These people are kissing too much. This is a little fuzzy. At the Brighton Court yesterday, Inspector Array of the Railway Department proceeded against a young man named George Davis of Collingwood for assault and uttering obscene language. Collingwood for assault and uttering obscene language. Collingwood classic. It appeared from the evidence that on New Year's Day, Davis was seen on the Brighton Beach station

mugging and kissing a young woman before. Mugging which order? Yeah, honestly. Does mugging mean something different or he needs? I think it just means he's he's he's feeling her up or you know. Okay, so he wasn't like give me all your stuff and then he's like also Including your tongue Before a great crowd of people Porter Andrews asked the accused to desist

desist and Nath What else can we do besides shout of the man in Fildy couldn't hear him over the veil. That's why she had the veil. And Phil the language he was asked who he was. So the guy's like, who the fuck are you? He left them for a time, but soon after,

found him at the same game. So he's back to making out with the lady. So he's just like standing there just like making out with the lady? Yeah, aggressively assaulting women and people like, stop it. Well, we've done our part. That's all go home. He did it again He then requested them to sit apart Davis swore at him and struck him with two blows In defense the prisoner said that the young woman was his wife In defense, the prisoner said that the young woman was his wife. Where I'm married now.

I like that that's an excuse. He's making out with his wife. Well, he's aggressively like putting it. No, he's making out with his wife. Oh, he is for sure. That's literally all that's happening here. Oh, okay. There's no, you guys are putting, it's literally society going,

don't kiss a woman in public. Oh. Oh. Well, that's definitely not true. Wait, I'm... So someone saw a woman in public. Oh. Oh, well, that's... Wait, I'm... So someone saw a couple of kissing. I went, this is aggressive. He's mugging and kissing her. Well, they're probably going at it hard.

They're probably going to go home and fucking bang. All right, that now... It feels like... I feel like maybe you're off, because it feels like you're inventing... She's weird and stop it. Slinky and... Just like Maureen.

He's got on chips and his dick. Oh, sorry Jesus Tell me when you're reading him when you're not from now on we need like To know that He said he'd been married to her for six years Oh, he had met some friends on the beach and had a drink with them and not being accustomed to it He was not quite himself. He saw no harm in kissing his wife on a railway station. He was awaiting for the train when the porter attempted to separate them. He never struck the porter, but simply pushed him away. He was fine $10.

So he got drunk on the beach with some friends who were probably not missing. And then the porter came over and was like, stop kissing and he's like, fuck you, I'm hammered. Yeah, but I was basically drunk man, and I was his wife. Right. Because for a moment, they were gonna say, this is my wife, I thought that was just his excuse. So, no, I thought it was a mate, like...

I thought it happened to two different women for a second. Like, what about the other one? Oh, so that's my wife. I'm gonna pick one of them, whoever draws the shorter piece of paper, and then the other one will have to kill themselves with his six months. You've heard it a million times.

Paris, judging by newspaper reports, is suffering from a combined attack of Anglomania and Anglophobia. Wow, at the same time. Yeah, double, the double. Right. While the masses are said to be full of envy, hatred, amalice, and all uncharitableableness in relation to everything British, the gay world is affecting an Englishness greater than the English. So people are, some people like the English are the worst and other people like, I'm the mirror-sting there.

So the common dude, fucking hates the British, but they're saying the the elites are like acting British that's right not only to certain fine ladies adopt London fashions play English games and copy English look at the teeth wow yes but their men I can't do anything. Another Apple sauce, please. But there are men kind actually go so far as to send their shirts to London to be washed. That's right. And when will this be ready for pick-up?

Unfortunately, I've lost my ticket. I can't imagine that's going to escalate the affair, is it? What's the timeline? This will be ready on Tuesday and six months. I don't know what to do about it, is it? Signed bubonics. This surely is a reversal of the order of things, since gown making and washing were things

par excellence that English people acknowledged were done better in France. See, for a long time, English people have washed so done better in France. See, for a long time, English people had washed so much better in France. Where we scrub it with our teeth, you see, so we get out all the stains. You're not going to find any nicks and nicks or footclothes with your mask.

God's blessed us with a mouthful of washboards, he has. It's right. Here we are. I've washed, Paul, do you? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha French people to adopt a slightly British accent. And I hope you like it. That's right. Yeah, do it. Well, it's is, I'm excited for my afternoon tea. You see, I love a bit of cucumber sandwich. Well, if only a cut off the cross, you say, and then put, yeah, love a big spot of tea. Another one. Another one.

It's really good. It's really good. Is it not? I mean, yes. I mean, oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. A young man on crutches named David Walsh, who was described as a member of the Crutchy

Push. Oh! And we're back! It's had like the Bloods in the Criffs, dude. There is an Australian gang, right, made up of dudes on crutches and they are and they were badass crazy dudes You've done a doll upon this yeah, and if I remember it, it's good They were just people are like no shame about your legs. They were like show about me ladies Oh my god.

So David Walsh, a member of the Crutchy push, was charged with insulting behavior. It appeared that the accused and several others were engaged in a disturbance on Kursen Street. Oh, that's not Norman. Constable Laura described it as a free fight in which crutches and sticks were used. They just literally attack with the thing that yeah they're beating people up with crutches. Yeah a lot of them weren't even injured

probably they were like this is a great bad. Let's walk around with weapons. So this is I guess this is not going to be long until America when people are like using AK-47s to like get around like Spray my ankle. Oh, oh, that's nice They're like a Tarantino film where where the she gets a leg amputated and puts a machine gun. Yes No, no, I think that is real. So that's gonna happen. Yes. That's happening often. Yeah, we're like two months away I Mean it's what doctor. we're out of medical supplies, but we have so many guns.

So doctors are like, we can't give you a new leg, but would you like an assault rifle? Would that work for you? So this isn't, so he's in court. He's been questioned, Dr. Lloyd, how many crutches are there in the push? Constable Garland, three or four, the accused. They're only two, your worship.

Your worship. Your worship. You gotta respect the judge. Jesus. Constable Garland three or four the accused there are only two your worship Worship you got to respect the judge Jesus Good Lord Oh, that is the best to get thrown off a jury duty. I call it worship duty Your worship I cannot serve upon this jury Your worship please For you are better than a judge. The constable added that the men with the crutches were the leaders of the push.

Accuses was fine $40. Oh, I want to grab a chance. I mean, I'm sure it's a lot of money. I can't believe they made another appearance. Yeah, no, they're laughing up. It's very exciting. About 12 months ago, the exporters of rabbits, note of what? Sorry?

About 12 months ago, the exporters of rabbits notified the Department of Agriculture that they would require to store their goods at the Flinders Street Depot during March, April, and May as there was no market for rabbits in London in these months. What in the fuck is happening? So for some reason, the English are taking three months off of rabbits. Yeah. And then they're like, we need a place to put all these rabbits. Instead of like not killing them for three months.

Now we're gonna spot in Flint District. Oh great. Yeah, just leave it there for three months. Oh, thank God, they're dead still. That's perfect. No, great, we'll just go over to the Red Cow's. a month. Oh, thank God, they're dead still. That's perfect. No, grime, we'll just go rid of the red cows. Oh, great. Oh, great, fantastic.

We don't eat rabbits for three months. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine? What a fucking, what a bunch of fucking weirdos. Eat rabbit in May. Have you lost your mind? That's a June dish for... It's not summer. Gosh.

Send it when we're ready. Isn't that... I was just... I was just... I was just a crowd. Isn't there some rule about some sort of shellfish or whatever? You don't eat it if it's ends in an ER, if it's in a month of ER? Or like... You should just stop talking. Hahaha. Hahaha.

Hahaha. I swear, it's a broom. You know, shellfish, they're commonly affected by the names of the Kalan. By the way, Jill, or Oyster, do something. Jill, if what you said was in the paper, we would lose our fucking mind. No shellfish in ER months. What?

I'd be like, Ramin and May makes way more sense. Are you having an Oyster? In November? Away with you! If you should stop talking. Oh. Oh.

Oh my God. I can't wait to find out if that is connected to reality in any way and I pray to my worship. That's gotta be some link in my brain that made me say that. Someone told you that one, you can't eat that. September, what are you, greatly? Oh, swear, that's gotta be something. I don't know. Can you have clams in the fall?

What are you nuts? You'll die! That's like eating rabbit and me! I just want to get that on a T-shirt, you should stop talking. You should stop talking. My comedy festival post next year. Well the time it was, it was like, it was the longest the silence could have been.

Ha ha ha! You should stop talking. Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha! My God! Put that oyster down! It's an ear month

Well, we'll be sending out an envelope with a black lining for you October lobster you fool You brought a witch's curse to this home you know the old saying Look it up nice gonna look it up. Now he's gonna look it up. Now he's gonna look it up. They're all saying if it's an uh, you don't eat the oyster. Someone's yelling jellyfish. Months with R. Okay, so. Okay, well first of all, there are more jellyfish at a certain point in the year. Probably the fall.

I honestly said, I don't eat jellyfish year round. It's just kind of one of those things for me. Because every time you do, someone's got to piss in your mouth. By the way, not the worst fetish. What a great way to get that fetish filled if you need to. I need you to feel like you could piss in my mouth. No, that's disgusting. I went to the beach and I put a jellyfish in my mouth.

Harry, my tongue hurts. All right, I'm going to pass my phone to Garrett. Garrett, do you read this? Only e. What website? Science Daily. Yeah. Old Science Daily. Yeah. Old Science Daily.

Science has spelled it to the... It's science everyday! And by the way, source floored a museum of natural history. Not... not where a lot of us are going for our science lately, floored a deal. Don't eat shellfish before Christ! Only eat oysters in months with an R? Question mark, rule of thumb is at least 4,000 years old. How are... Foodie tradition dictates only...

And now I'm doing the podcast. Foodie tradition dictates only eating wild oysters in months with the letter R from September to April to avoid watery shellfish or worse, a nasty bout of food poisoning. Thank you, something, something, right? It's something, for sure. It's something. I'm more interested. You're not getting your phone back, I got that.

I'm more interested in the Jellyfish Queensland situation. Yeah, I like, we got a good lead in the crowd here. You're not supposed to eat jellyfish in months, but, ah! Ah! Alright, so let's get back to the rabbits. Sorry. Jellyfish is good in July. Julyfish.

Julyfish. I love you. I love you. So... So good. So they need a place to put the rabbits. This is real? Yeah. The department, the department agreed to provide the requisite space, but the consignments came forward so freely, so there's so many rabbits, that the minister was compelled to give the exporters

notice to ship some of the stock before the time agreed upon while he was also obliged to arrange for the storage of a large number of crates at the Jolong freezing works. Oh, so it froze a bunch of them. Oh, thank God. I mean, that is like good to hear they're freezing them as opposed to just like letting them rot. That's it. So the whole story is that there are too many rabbits and they know it's different.

Because the British for some reason were just like, mm-hmm. The British have a thing. we're eating jellyfish these months and no we don't take foreign rabbits in not yeah we're eating our domestic hair you'll fool I did freeze back then though there was no frieges. Oh deep friezes. You would Rivers rivers will get cold and they free There's a man's feet in the ice you would cut the ice out in the winter Are you creating ice house and from that you would use that all year long in Victoria? We don't have rivers that are frozen

Okay, but other places Yeah, but I'm hungry, bris. Yeah, this isn't a thing that they make over there and they go, God, I wish we could move that. Well, by the time you're back in Ova, yeah. You're gonna melt? Yeah, I'm on Dill's side with this one. You're bullshit.

Ice melts, motherfucker. We've done podcasts about them transporting great amounts of ice. I was listening to Crutchy-Push stuff. I'm with you. Bullshit. If you keep the ice together, it keeps itself cold. It's a thing. OK. So yes, they would take ice from other places

and take it to cities and sell it. So they would have ice here. They would keep things cold. You should stop talking. Hurt, take her, take her, take her. Heard it, heard it, heard it. It's taking a weird turn. It's not like Beetlejuice. Yeah, honestly.

Should we wrap? Yeah, I think, yeah, probably. Should we try to one more, maybe. Okay. Another hot spell of weather has come and gone, leaving the casual observer more than ever convinced that the wily celestial is the only man among us who knows how to dress himself when the mercury gets up

among the 90s. What in the fuck is that? The wily celestial? Hello. I think there's a- I told you all, do George. No, that's there. You're being too kind of-

And it's pronounced Willie. Willie Celestial. This is my home. I think they're being super racist. You fucking trap me. With his silk or nankin suit, innocent of starched color or unnecessary studs, his soft light hat, his umbrella, and his fan,

with a smile of the Mongolian waxes more than usually childlike and bland. The mean time, the foreign devils, as O'Wong- I calls us, fume and fret in tweed. They're being super racist. They're saying that the white man's dumb in this one. Oh, they are? Yeah, they're saying that we get, we white people get too hot because we're wearing tweed and they're like putting on

loose fitting like silk. Yeah, they're like, oh, it's hot. I'm gonna put on clothes for that time. What a fool. You don't even have a cape on. Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to pass away. Who foolish, non-white. They fret in tweed and cups and colors lending a hand to accentuate their misery.

Certainly things are a degree better than they used to be. And here and there, one happens on more or less rationally clad members of the male persuasion. Straw hats. Huh? And cork helmets have. Cork helmets. Take it out. In the majority of cases, replaced the absurd looking high hat and the uncompromising bowler.

Kekki, lit in an alpaca, are very fairly in evidence. Alpaca during like a heat wave? Boy, is it just me or is this not breath great? This alpaca suit's not doing great. And the alpacas keep trying to bang me. Good thing we have all this ice to lean on. Yeah, that's right. I don't know how we got it here.

It doesn't make sense to me personally. I don't know if you've ever seen a cooler, but it don't keep cool that long. Uh... How will we keep the shellfish cold until we can eat again? Good that out of your mouth it's September! Blue-tailed! Uh, ten and again canvass shoes are dawned instead of patent or polished leather. The trouble is that few, that these things are worn by the few, while it is the many who are hot.

Alright, well, well, well, well, well. This is a, this is a, oh, marine, marine! This is an article about people being fucking hot from wearing hot clothes. Did you know that wearing hot clothes is really stupid? Non-whites have figured that out. Oh. Oh, there's a mnodder's there.

Notice I refuse in the comment because we're under hot lights and I'm wearing leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said that way. I'm like, interested in it. Notice I refuse any comment because we're under hot lights and I'm wearing leddus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said that way. I'm like, I get it. I get where they come from. So tell me this jacket was a weird call. And while the few can try to get through the summer

with a fair degree of comfort, the many go on getting knocked up or run down at intervals from October to April. Months with irony. Almost rabbit time. Maybe one last one. Why? Because we're in a low and it didn't hit his heart. And you want to leave on a high note because that's how comedy works. It might not happen. Running out, I don't know if we have any stories left. God damn it. Well now the longer it takes the lower the note gets, so... Like it wasn't a high note we could have left on, but now we're a sinking ship.

How about a suicide? What? A supposed suicide. Two girls while walking along the bank of the Old Reservoir, a short distance out of town, picked up a piece of a cigarette box on which was written the following. My jewelry and my clothes I leave to Miss Harris, as she has been a good friend to me. My own mother and Charlie Crenston, not to blame. We'll cause cancer.

The police have inquired into the matter, but are of the opinion, the writing, which seems to be at a man's hand, is a hoax. So they, someone, they or someone basically put a good buy letter on a cigarette box. Near the old reservoir. Near the old reservoir. And the police, oh, that's like bullshit. Yeah, and the cops are like, that's fucking not.

First of all, it's written by a man. It wouldn't happen. Yeah, and the cops are like, that's fucking not. First of all, it's written by a man. Wouldn't happen. This is the equivalent of like morning jogger finds dead body in the park. Yeah. It's like them going for a walk and then now they find the suicide note. Yeah, on a box of smokes, which makes you think like, I mean, first of all, like, it's not that you're supposed to plan. So who did he leave everything with? There was some Mrs. Catherine or whatever. Or I reckon she's the one who wrote it. Yeah it was yeah she yeah it was probably one of the women

walking oh my lord what is that Mrs. Harris yeah oh while he misses Harris oh is that another suicide that's right Mrs. Harris we found another box of cigarettes that left you everything well I guess I own eight houses yeah it's just strange that all these men keep jumping in the reservoir and then riding on cigarette boxes and things of that. Did they same two girls find it? Excuse me? The same girls, the little Harriet and Julie, they found another suicide. Yes, your granddaughters. Again, found it. yes. Well, it's the suicide reservoir isn't it? No, it's the old reservoir and we're not going to stop referring to it as that. Anyhoo!

Don't any who us, we're the fucking police. What are you talking about? I know, have a cork hat. Along with many, many houses, a mansion. Jose also passed away in the reservoir. He dropped! Yes, he left you in shoes all he had to give. So sad. Anyway, I would have enjoyed sure for a round of plans. No, it's a jam. No, I understand. I've not going to be crazy. I'll be crazy.

Thank you everyone for coming out. Give it up for Dill. Appreciate it. Thank you. You're with me, honey. So, my sweet day. you you you you you you you you you You I'm a Some of these days, you'll miss me honey. Some of these days.