The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 401 - The Bridges of Milwaukee (Live)

Episode Date: October 29, 2019

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When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. You are listening to the dollop on the all things comedy network and now we're gonna play a live episode from shall we

say a northern place. You're listening to the dollop. This is a bilingual American history podcast. Each week I read a story in English and Bulgarian to my nemesis, Gareth Reynolds, who is allowed to say his name and is not your nemesis and also has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I mean the intro is just very angry. No one understands why. When you call someone your nemesis it's self-fulfilling. You're self-fulfilling. You call around calling someone your nemesis they're gonna start to get agitated and then you can just go oh this is what I don't like about you. This is what I was talking about. This is the

friction I'm talking about. It seems like you talk like a nemesis. We're friends. Your daddy duck. I missed you today. Yeah. My dad did die. He died good. He's a bad man. We should do a dollop on him. Oh my god. That is actually a great fucking idea. I wish he was alive to hear it. What you should do is you should work on an hour all about your dad and then when you do it for the first time I'll watch it on stage with you and just jump in every now and then be like that's fucking nuts keep going. Well my album kind of is about my dad. Yeah yes but there's more meat on the bone. Yeah yeah for sure there's a lot of meat on the bone well

not anymore it's definitely time to start. September 8th 1801 Byron Kilbourne. Don't worry. You don't even know that. Nope. I mean I know Kilbourne because of the street. Oh okay. What was born in Granby Connecticut. Was born in Granby. Granby. Granby. His paternal grandfather invented the modern steam boat. Nice. Yeah it's pretty cool. Yeah for sure now it certainly holds up as one of our best creations. We should probably still be using it. His father James was a decorated war veteran a founder of the Ohio Territory and Ohio U.S. Representative. James was an he was the Episcopalian gentleman. Okay. At the

time Connecticut was a theocracy and if you guys knew that it was run by the congregationalist church so after the war the Episcopalians were considered traitors so James he could either continue to live in Connecticut getting tons of verbal shit and being treated as a second-class citizen or he could leave. So he stays. He left. Oh weird what a weird choice. I love the first option. It's like let's make a deal. Take what's in the box. Yeah so when Byron was two years old the family moved to some land his father had bought in the Ohio wilderness. Okay. Sounds like dicey. Yeah oh yeah it's dicey. We're moving to

the woods. That's all we've got. Within a few years white people flooded into Ohio. A lot of still the case. Louise. Someone's gonna yell it's Louise. I don't fucking need it. I'm just having a beer. Nobody said anything. They were gonna so a lot of influential families move in to this part of Ohio so Byron grows up surrounded by powerful people. He develops political and social connections. Okay. At a very young age. He's well educated. He was really into math. Sure. Who isn't. If you're out in the wilderness. I mean you're out in the middle of just the forest you're like I gotta get some. Nothing's better than division by a

tree. Long division. Get me there yeah. So he would he was super into it he pursued math passionately as a child. So I hate him. He was very interested in the practical application of math towards navigation surveying and engineering. Nerd. That's right. That's right. Like it hearing what his brain was into makes my brain hurt. Yeah yeah. As happens in dollops his mom died when he was five. Sure. Yep. Time to get a job. Yep. She died during childbirth. When he was five so he was really like yeah hanging on for dear life there. I will not mother I'm not finished inside. You get out Byron. He finally just split open and he rolled

out. That's what childbirth is. That's read your Bible. I'm a doctor I know. I'm a doctor. So then Byron was raised mostly by his three older siblings until James remarried three years later. When Byron was 13 he left school and got a job as a clerk at his father's company store. Okay. That's pretty old to start working in this. I know. Everyone's like what the fuck are you doing. Yeah. A slacker. Get to get it to get a teenager. Your mom died. That's when you get a job. Yeah. Be a mechanic at that point. Yeah. He encouraged. Oh sorry Byron wanted to be a lawyer but his dad was super against lawyers because he was in debt and

they were creditor lawyers coming after him all the time. Wouldn't you be like yes go do this. Yes figure out how I can defeat these fucking people. That's what I would be like. I support you totally for selfish reasons. Get working. So I encourage Byron to pursue other interests especially math. It's just frustrating to hear. James business collapsed in 1918 in the aftermath of the war of 1812. There's a financial panic that took down many Ohio banks too. So Ohio's kind of fucked. I mean everywhere was but still is whatever. Fun little moment. Little light moment. Everything's still fucked.

Anyway let's stay on topic. Well it got good for a while and then it got fucked again. Yeah. Capitalism's good. James. So James was also a surveyor. That's what he was doing as was Byron's older brother. So when he was 16 Byron decided to become a land surveyor. Okay. So surveyors were hired by the federal government to explore new territories. Map them out. Use that information plan develop administer land right. Sure. The whole thing. Surveyors were scarce because so many territories were expanding. So demand was high and that meant getting a job was super easy. So he he got a job right away. Started working. Explores the

Ohio wilderness. After three years he was promoted to engineer and led the construction of the Ohio and Miami canals. Favorite. Yeah. For sure. To my top two. Yeah. What's your third. Panama. What's your fourth. Panama. What's your top five. Top five. Well. Okay. There's Miami and Ohio. Which if we're going to get into it I want to spend a little time talking about. Then I'll get into the Panama Canal which I love. Then I want to take an intermission. And here's why. I want to borrow your iPad to see who the running back for the forty niners is. Might. Might. You got hurt

today. I don't care. In eighteen thirty two Byron had to retire because he developed rheumatism from his expeditions. Okay. So he took some time off so he focused on more development projects and undertook the construction of the Milan ship canal. This fourth. This is what he wrote to his sister. Quote. Quote a big ditch shall be made. Does this guy think we don't know what canals are. It's a big ditch. With water. Did it. All right that's everything we've covered it all. A big ditch shall be made from one extremity of the Empire to the other on which shall be transported the merchandise of the East and the rich stuff of the West. There

needs to be an ellipsis before that he had no idea what he was talking about. Nothing was written down and the rich stuff from the other side. And the ends of the earth shall be brought near and the land shall be full of gladness. Jesus Christ. Was everyone like. What if you don't make the canal or ditch. Water ditch. That's what we're calling them now water ditches. We're gonna hire someone else. Okay that's I'm hearing that a lot. All right. I'm gonna go do multiplication near a bush. So after you're off he his rheumatism eased up a little bit so he decided to start surveying again. Right. He wanted to

explore the West of Lake Michigan quote which then seemed to be beyond the bounds of that civilization would reach during that age. Certain times when it still feels like that. In 1795 French Canadian fur trader Jacques Vaux. Were they all French Canadians? Yeah. You have to be a French Canadian to be a fur trader. Oh yeah I mean look there were America there were English in America but mostly French. Yeah. Yeah. They built a trading post along the Milwaukee River. Nice. He was the first permanent white settler in Milwaukee. Not the last. He built a cabin. Yeah it's not great. He built what? He built a cabin. He built a

cabin. Okay. Yeah he's from definitely from Milwaukee. On top of a bluff over looking the menominee. Yep. Menominee. Yep. Yes. Yep. River. This is where he lived in the winter in the Springs. He lived in summer. He lived near Green Bay. Nice. I like how he's like the I can't do winners in Milwaukee. I go to I go to Green Bay. I just have to. It's like a vacation from the winter. It's lovely there. Milwaukee gets very cold and brisk. I go to Green Bay. It's nice. In 1818 Voo handed off his Milwaukee assets to his son-in-law Solomon Jinu. Juno. Juno? Yeah. Juno. All right we got it. Calm the fuck down. Let's not get the torches out

just yet everybody. Let's. Juno honestly don't care that much. I know it's one of your places but don't give a shit. He built his first log cabin in Milwaukee and then the first frame building in the area. Okay. Solomon became an American citizen and he learned English because he wanted to turn the semi-inhabited trading post into a full-blown town. Okay. According to those who knew him Solomon was quote one of nature's noblemen and was the very soul and embodiment of hospitality and good cheer. His house was a home to every straggler in that wild region. Okay so when will tragedy ruin him? Well Solomon

also had a decent relationships with his Native American neighbors unlike all the other American settlers in Junotown. Right. An early settler quote Juno right? Yep. Juno. This is what happened. This is what happens. Keep going. After the show I'm gonna beat the shit out of you in an alley and everyone's gonna stand around and watch and they're gonna and they're gonna cheer. It's gonna be like some medieval thing and then I'm gonna hand them stones and then they're gonna stone you today. Okay all right all right I think we've all learned a valuable lesson. You said some stuff, he said some stuff. Juno would go straight up to the

savage and calling him Bill stroked him on the cheek in a playful way. Sorry if you're taming a moose named Bill that makes a little more sense than when you're going up to a man who's not named Bill. Hi Bill. Yeah you're Bill. Yeah you like that there Bill? Yeah. Oh he likes his little cheek. He likes his little cheeky wiki. Oh it's good to see you. I'm Solomon. Hi. I'm Bill actually. Yeah I'm not a Native American. I'm Italian. Oh. I hit my head so hard earlier. So stroked him on the cheek in a playful way thinks I if I was as big as you are Mr. Juno I'd pitch him outdoors neck and heels but the Frenchman understands these redskins better than I do when they were going out Juno took down a heavy Mackinac blanket Mackinaw. Whatever. Whatever. Is it Mackinaw? Yeah

that is Mackinaw. Why do they have the sea on the end? Blanket and threw it over the head of the cross savage that was more than I'd done for these Indians are a rascally set of cheats. Who is saying that? That's just one of the settlers. Just some dickhole? Yeah but that's you know that's kind of what everyone thought but Solomon was a different kind of dude. What did he say about throwing a blanket on him? What did he say about throwing a blanket? Oh yeah when they were going out Juno took down a heavy Mackinaw blanket and threw it over the head of the cross savage. Is that a little crazy? Isn't that a canary? Well so if I can understand this

correctly he walked up to this guy his Native American guy called him Bill stroked his cheek through a blanket over and everyone was like can you believe how sweet he's been to these people? Like he should have been stabbed with a sword. Hi Bill. Hi Bill. Blanket. It's just like okay. In 1833 Solomon partnered with Congressman Morgan Martin to just there's two fans of everybody in the story here tonight Dave. That was not normal. To begin developing a small village on the east side of Milwaukee River. By 1835 they were laying out streets plotting lots and selling land. Solomon called his settlement Junotown.

Okay. It was said that Solomon had little ambition and was very rich. He kept his money in a in his tall hat. I don't think I don't think all of it just like instead of... I'm gonna go on record right now any amount of money in your tall hat is too much money. I think it's great. I got your hat. Hundreds of I mean money out. You see that move once you're like oh cool I'll kill him. Okay. Well yeah that's it that's it's a two-part process the thought and then the action. One day he was crossing a street and the wind blew his hat off. Oh. Oh no all my money is. Oh no I'm gonna be chasing it around like a frick. And the money flew all over

the street and Solomon just laughed and kept walking as people scrambled to pick it up. That's the very drill. My life savings. That's hilarious. But of Junotown he was the postmaster and mayor built the first hotel at courthouse started a newspaper supported all public improvement initiatives so between 1835 and 1850 the population grew from just a few trade merchants to over 20,000 white settlers. Okay. So now at the same time Byron is now a married man influential and a ruthless businessman. He had left the canal business in 1833 because of his ill health and he was looking for an opportunity. Water ditches. He left the

ditch business water ditch business. He saw Milwaukee's potential as a bustling port city and he wanted a piece of it. Okay. The pioneer history of Milwaukee James Buck quote Byron is an intellectual giant keen shrewd aggressive with an iron with a will of iron and possessed a personal magnetism that few whoever came under its influence were able to resist. Neither was it often that he drew a blank in a fortune's lottery. Jesus. Okay. Well he's got it going on. And Solomon is great guy can will put blankets on strangers he calls Bill and keeps his money in his hat. Yeah. He's not as sure. Yeah. The area was

perfect because of its unique location close to deep winding rivers that fed the to the coastline had a large bay tons of animals to kill and not high five and the valley was fertile. Nope. Good. Yeah. Good. Byron wanted the land on the west side of the Milwaukee River but it belonged to the Pato Wata me tribe. Pottawatomie. Pottawatomie. Pottawatomie. Pottawatomie. I thought you said pot. I thought you said I thought you let that a tee pot of Wata me been going. Pottawatomie. Pottawatomie. They had a village and crops of corn squash beans. They're just fucking living their life. Right. Yeah. Right.

Which really was the MO of the time. Yeah. We're just living our life. We want to take it and do different stuff with ours. Blanket was actually a tactic we did employ eventually. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. I'm sorry. We're fucking assholes. Don't get mad at me. Mad at him. I didn't know it until him. So Byron colluded with a dirty surveyor and illegally included the area that the tribe lived in on his federal survey in 1835. This way he could legit legitimize his claim with federal backing and take control of the area. Nice man. Awesome. Finally. White guys get something. So it worked. In 1835 Byron bought the land on the West Bank of the

Milwaukee River and he named it Killborn Town. Okay. So we've got Juno Town and Killborn Town. That's right. This. Okay. We setting up a rumble. The first thing he did was help. Get out of here. You're in Killborn Town, buddy. I've just tried to walk home. Yeah. You take it the wrong way. This guy thinks he's in Juno Town. The first thing he did was help finance the Milwaukee Advertiser newspaper, which promoted new land. Byron hated Solomon Settlement on the other side of the river. Okay. I would imagine. He saw Juno Town as his rival and competitor. Okay. According to James Buck, quote, Mr. Killborn intended that the Western Bank

of the Milwaukee should mark the eastern boundary of the embryo city upon whose reedy sedges. Sure. Those who were foolish enough to pitch their tents upon the east side might gaze with longing eyes but should not pass to except in a boat. Okay. So Byron made up maps of territory and distributed them to settlers. But the map only showed Killborn Town. I would say changing maps for your own like social gain would be weird but still happens. Yeah. So it's not a map. It's a fantasy. Yeah. Well, it's a map of his part and then the other part doesn't doesn't exist. Okay. So by leaving it blank, it implies to all the

settlers who, you know, look at it. That they can go there. That it's a shitty, that Juno Town's undesirable and a shitty place. Okay. So when steamers would deliver goods to Byron's dock, he told captain and passengers that Juno Town was just an Indian trading post. Okay. So he really is out there. I mean, he's the one attacking a town. Yeah. Juno Town. Byron hoped to isolate Juno Town so it would become dependent on and eventually incorporated into Killborn Town. Jesus Christ. It's aggressive. Play the game, man. You want to get in this the settler business? You want to build a town? No. You gotta go fucking hardcore

against other towns. I don't want to do that. It's a goddamn war, man. No, it isn't. And the last town alive was the fucking one that wins. Wait, we're gonna kill another town? Yes. No, I don't want to kill the other town. Milwaukee, we're attacking Madison tonight. Oh, no, no, no, no, we're not. No, they. Yes. Maybe we should fucking do it. It'd be kind of interesting. They would not see it coming. They would not. Absolutely not. They would not know this was coming. So while he mapped his settlement, Byron laid out streets leading up up to the river so they did not align with those streets that existed in Juno Town on the other

side. He didn't want them to be even with each other. He did a cockeyed. So you would look down the streets. So these are not maps. These are just completely. This isn't a map. This is actually what he's doing with the town. Oh, this is the vision board. Yeah, and he's actually doing this. He's laying out his fucking town the other way. It just seems a little much. You gotta do what you gotta do when town war's on. I just had not really heard of town wars until now, and that's what's tough. Welcome to town war, bitch. That's what they said. I'd rather not be talked to like that in a town war. Literally what they said. No.

Meanwhile, is Solomon just like. Yeah. I mean, the first time they ever met, like, it was Solomon and two other dudes were in like a cabin and and Kilborn came in and he was just like, Hey, what's up? And just started chatting with them to get all the info. And then left. I was like, they're fools. He was a lovely gentleman. Yeah, that's exactly what it was. I should give him money from my hat. So Kilborn thought making the roads match on either side of the river would mean he acknowledged the existence of Junotown. He doesn't mean that though, right? Yeah, he thinks it's like validated them. If he did that, he'd be like, Well,

you're real. There you go. Happy. Now I'm coming to kill you. He's probably just walking around people like, What is that over there? There's nothing there. That's nothing. There's houses and people. No, no, it's a drawing. It's a big, it's a painting on a wall. No. It's not real. You're seeing things. Yeah. You're the crazy one. No, it's a fucking town. There's a guy waving to me. Nope. No, no. Nope. Nobody's been there for 20 years. 20 years to the day, actually. Now I'm gonna leave and you're gonna feel spooky. From James Buck, quote, Kilborn, from the first start, never intended that any

communication by bridges should exist between east and west side, and acting upon that principle made his survey in such a manner as to prevent the streets upon the two sides from matching each other, always insisting that the west side did not want, and if he could prevent it, should never have any communication with the east, except by boats. This for a man of Mr. Kilborn's ability was the most stupendous piece of folly. They're in the same city, and he's like acting like they're different countries. Well, there's a river in the middle. There's a river. You can pretend, like I pretend like stuff doesn't exist on

another side of a river. If you're on a river, like you can just be like, that's not there. Most people on one side of the Mississippi don't don't even know the other side of Mississippi's there. That's just not accurate. They think it's an they think it's like an ocean that just keeps going. There's absolutely no doubt there's someone in Mississippi who's like, look the Pacific Ocean. I ain't a big mama. So soon Byron started using the newspaper he set up the Milwaukee advertiser to encourage people to buy. He's gonna be like Rupert Murdoch. To encourage people to buy land in Kilborn Town. In response, Solomon created the Milwaukee

Sentinel a year later to convince people to settle in Junotown instead. I wonder which paper will win. The rivalry was often running. Not everyone thought Kilborn Town was a great spot. One man wrote his sister, quote, well here I am with your Joseph, but never have I seen a more goddamn place in my life. Jesus. The town or what it is so called lies in the middle of a swamp. But soon after that. I mean and sister probably lives in Junotown. I wonder what life's like where you live sometimes. If we're looking up at the same moon in the same sky, I do wonder. Right back. Hopefully someday I'll get enough

money to come to the Junotown and see you. Jimmy, you don't have to write. We can just yell across the river. Sometimes it's like I can still hear your words. I know that you're not there, but in my head I still vividly can hear you. Stop writing the fucking letters. Your voice is a little more shrill than I remember, but surely that's just time. Look. Look sideways on the street. I'm over there. I would say come here, but the conditions are quite abysmal, my sis. I know it. I'm in the goddamn conditions. Hopefully this letter will reach you in the next month or two. But it might not because it's gotta go around the goddamn fucking river. If not,

know that I will continue to write it till you write back. Will you fucking look at me? Take care. All my love. Fuck. Fuck you. Bill. Just go fuck yourself. I'm licking the envelope. I'm putting a stamp on it. Okay. Somewhere out there. Don't sing. So Kilborn drained the swamp and filled it in, right? Mm-hmm. People came. Virants sold plots to people in Chicago and other cities, and within a year had turned his $33,000 purchase of the land into $220,000. Jesus. Okay. Which back then is a fortune. Is it $90 billion? From AC Willers, the Chronicles of Milwaukee, quote, those on the west side had all along proclaimed that the east side

was unhealthy. So east side is Junotown, west side is Kilborn. It's just very hard to believe that Milwaukee had a biggie Tupac. Those on the west side had all along proclaimed that the east side was unhealthy, that foul myasms hung over the houses. Foul myasms? Smell odors, bad odors. Sounds like a selfish orgasm. Which is an orgasm by definition. The way I do them, that's what they always are. Oh, Dave. That the inhabitants lived on eating frogs, which the Frenchman had learned them to do. Sorry. Don't give me that face. What did you just say? That the inhabitants lived on eating frogs, which the Frenchman had learned them to do. I

mean, the stereotype is pretty strong. Yeah. And that many of them had died and were buried at night so that the world should not see their depletion. What? They're doing midnight funerals? That's what that's what the people on the west side say about the east side. I mean, it would just be great if someone could figure out a way to get over there and check. The east sideers had retaliated by calling the west sideers country people who had to cross the river to get into town, who had no courthouse, no jail, no nothing, but Byron Kilborn. One enthusiastic partisan had gone so far, indeed, as to propose the

establishment of a quarantine at that point where the west sideers crossed the river. How bad is the west side? The west side is still being built. So the east side is much more built up. The west side is being. Yeah, right. So Kilborn town is being built up. Okay. So it's in the process. But what they're saying is, I mean, it probably is a little shittier than Junotown. Yeah, right. Probably is. Yeah. But again, he's trying to sell it. So he doesn't want to. Right. He would never say that. No, of course not. Why be honest? It's bad business. Despite the rivalry, the settlements Junotown and Kilborn town

and Walker's Point, which is on the south side, which we're ignoring because he didn't really get involved in this. Yep, miss. He was very clear. Shout out of the party. We're incorporated into a single Milwaukee territory in 1839. Byron aggressively restricted entry to his side of the river and made it very hard for Solomon settlers to cross. So essentially you can't, everything's fine. Essentially anyone can go, he wants anyone to go there, but nobody from Junotown. That's right. Right. Okay. Interesting. Just again, not how cities work. Junotowners were trapped between the river and the lake, but they often needed

to access the west west side. So to get across or maybe the east side, I got that mixed up. So to get across the Milwaukee River, settlers either had to row across, take a ferry or county or a county shuttle. Okay. One settler wrote quote, the river is a fine thing as I expected, but when you have to cross it three or four times daily on a log, it ceases to be an enjoyment. Sorry, even for this time, who is this person? You just gave me three options that seem pretty viable. This person's like, I'll tell you what I hate. Grocery shopping on a log raft. What? All right, I got the eggs. I'm going to go back and get the

flour, then we can make this cake and two more trips after that. Sir, would you like to rent a log? Yep. There'll be three eggs. It's all the eggs I bought. Yep. It's just such a stupid thing we're doing. Can't get over how stupid it is. Here are the eggs. I guess I don't need the log. I gotta go shopping. So quote, the river is a fine thing as I expected, but when you have to cross it three or four times daily on a log, it ceases to be an enjoyment. Yes, I often wish I was in Detroit. You don't hear that anymore. That's changed. Certainly changed. The Juneau

towners grew frustrated and began demanding bridges be built. Yes. Most migrants to Wisconsin were poor people. Byron wrote about a group getting off a ship, quote, you have, of course, some experience in the motley character of the multitude constituting the passenger of a steamboat, but yet such collection of Tom Dick and Dutch and the devil. This took a really weird turn. You're Tom Dick and Duchess and Buddha names. And the devil, I presume you never did see as we have had on board. So Byron wanted to build a canal. Sure. Right. Water ditch. People in Junotown greatly opposed it as it would favor Kilwurntown. Sure. So

things became so heated that a bank director who was in opposition to the canal was burned in effigy at a rally after Byron made a vitriolic speech. This is getting a little aggressive. At least getting people fired up by the canal. So the bank director's like, I'm sorry, they did what? What? Of me? I'm just a bank director. I just don't like the canal. We're going to kill you. Burn you? Why? We're going to burn you, bank director. You will give us a fucking canal. It's not up to me. It's not how this works. We'll tell us who we got to burn. No. Can we rent a log? No. No, we're not. Somebody has to die. Yes. During elections

people from the anti-canal party kept winning and eventually the canal project was abandoned due to cost. But Byron had lost 30,000 trying to get the project going. Okay. But the main reason it failed was because Byron did not at all work well with other people. That's weird because everything I've heard makes it seem like he's a really cool guy to get along with. I know, that was a surprise. It seems easy going. In 1840 with Solomon's support, the Wisconsin territorial legislature ordered Milwaukee. Where have they been? Were they at all at any point like, hey, what's this is a fucking insane? Don't do this anymore.

Well, I assume that towns all over the place are fighting. This is really insane though. This is like the Warriors. It's not normal. No, okay. So they entered the Milwaukee County to build a quote, good and substantial draw bridge because the ferry system was considered inadequate. Byron Kilbourne was really against it. He claimed that bridges were hazardous to ships visiting his docks, but in reality they threaten his control of travel and trade in Milwaukee. But isn't that a terrible argument? Yep. Like one where you're like, we will build it above. It's a bridge. We're not talking about putting a street in the river. This

is an elevated road. This is a bridge. No, that's not how they work. No, it is how they work. They're right on the water. No, they're not. That's why they're called boat killers. It's never been a thing that anyone has ever said because it's not at all a thing. All the time. Never said. Here comes the boat killer. You are the only person who said it and that's three times. This will be a bridge. This is above, however, show me your biggest boat. We'll build it higher than that. No. Yes. No. Yes. You, this is not how this works. Your argument is flawed and not good. They go, they sink. That has nothing to do with a bridge and I honestly don't even

think you're arguing anymore. Bridges and boats have been at war for hundreds of years. Aye sir. I'm not about to become a part of that war. I would like to avoid casualties and death. That your bridge will bring. Because you are going to build a murder bridge. It's an elevated road. I rest my case. This guy's just a fucking asshole. The first bridge was built on Chestnut Street. Byron finally conceded when one of his close supporters argued that it was hard to get to the courthouse, which was in Junotown. So Byron agreed as long as he never had to share the costs of any, quote, east side improvements on the bridge. But the people

of Junotown were not thrilled with the bridge because it just, it ended up, the way it was built, it diverted south side trade to Killbourne Towns. So wait. So the way it was built. In a way, what he said was true and it made his life better. Yeah, it made his life better. Well, he, then once they're building, he got involved in where it should be and he had it put. So it basically brought people from the south side and anyone traveling through to Chicago, sort of right into Killbourne Town. Right. Okay. So he likes bridges now. That's right. Yeah. One Junotown citizen called it a, quote, miserable affair. Sure. I love that guy. Yeah. Well,

this is a miserable affair. All right. Pretty concise. Thank you, sir. I've spoken. That'll do. We're done with the interview. So farewell. You got my comment, the full. Yeah. Miserable affair. Good day. Oh, my money. Okay. Well, there it is. Oh, boy. So five more bridges were built across the Menominee River. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. It feels like we're doing that Muppets. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. Menominee. And just so you know, that's where Ernie Von Schledorn lives. Menominee falls. This is the story of Ernie Von Schledorn. He's a car dealer out in the falls. No idea. So the bridges were built

in 1841 at Wisconsin Street in 1842, Spring Street and Onida Street, 1843, and Water North Street in Walker's Point in 1844. Okay. Kilbore Town refused to support any of the construction, so Juno Towners had to fund the bridges. So what, I mean, what is the end game for Kilbore Town? Oh, you'll see. Oh, God, what? That's a horrible answer. The Kilbore Towners thought that's how it should be, since the idiots had trapped themselves on a narrow strip of land in Juno Town. Really cool people. The Kilbore Towners were also very smug and boasted that they didn't need bridges because Byron's Ferries worked just fine. We've got boats. And logs. Yeah. Right? Calling the log, man. We're going across the river. All right. Get

on your logs, boys. Paddle away. This is going to fucking suck. I wish there was somebody to get across the river without getting wet. There's no way. They kill the boats, dude. Do you read the paper? It'd be a miserable affair. The bridges benefited both settlements, but there was a tension increase between the two communities. Sure. Well, in Juno Town, their tension is like, stop being dicks. Yeah. Yeah. Russell Austin, quote, one night Charles Milwaukee Civer, who was the first white boy born in Milwaukee. So they named, they named him Milwaukee. Dave, it's so disappointing. It's like when I saw Fives Penis. It's just I'll never forget that. It's a bummer. So the first white dude, they're like, yes, you.

Yeah, they named him Milwaukee. One night Charles Milwaukee Civer. But Milwaukee is a Native American name, right? Yeah, I believe so. Yeah. But so then the only way that you could get a Native American name is if it's in a white guy's name. Yeah. I mean, it's not great. It just never ends. So one night Charles Milwaukee Civer, the first white boy born in Milwaukee was caught on the West Side by a white boy. It sounds like you're talking shit at him. That's a white boy. That's what the guy called him. White boy. Fucking moving. Go to your fucking bridge. Get on your log. Get the fuck out of here. I mean, when I first read it, I had to do a double tag. I'm like, is there a race thing happening right now? So we're

talking about a race war. What was caught on the West Side by Abe Broome and the Hubbard boys and given the wailing of his life? Hey, listen, West Side story, what did you just say? What kind of? Yeah, that's right. We're going to give you the wailing of your life. He's yellow. He was caught. He's an East Side. He's caught on the West Side by Abe Broome and the Hubbard boys and given the wailing. Slow your roll, buddy. Okay. And who and the who boys? Abe Broome and the Hubbard boys. And the Hubbard boy. Hubbard. Hubbard. Mother Hubbard. Like Mother Hubbard boys. Yep. Okay. And they gave him a wailing of a lifetime. Yeah, they gave Milwaukee wailing of a lifetime. Charles Milwaukee got even a few days later,

quote, when Abe Broome ventured over to the East Side. What is he doing? I don't know what he's thinking. This is just a dumb move. He's going to get the wailing of a lifetime. He ventured over to the East Side to watch the Washington guards who stood with rifles in hand ready to defend the bridge against West Siders. So this is how boring life is. That you're like, I will risk my life to go watch these men. Yeah. It's something to do. Charlie pushed Abe into a mud puddle and pummeled him until a housewife armed with a broomstick broke up the fray. But when, when she saw who the pummeled boy was, she went after Abe with the broom. So knowing what we know now at the end, what really happened

is that he was getting beaten and then a woman came and also beat him with a broom. That's right. Right. She saved him at first and then she was like, oh, it's Abe. And then she just wailed away. Beat him. She'd come on the Hubbard boys, you know. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Things really took a turn for the worst on May 3rd, 1845. Okay. A schooner crashed into Kilbore Townside of the Spring Street Bridge. Told ya. Fucking told ya. The fucking, the goddamn boat. I want to talk to this captain. The boat murderer is back. I want to talk to the captain of this ship. I think this is either a fabrication, a plot or this man is drunk or he should not be on a schooner. Look, I was just going under the bridge and

the bridge came down and squished my boat. Can you imagine being that guy? Squished me boat. That guy like the panic. The hell is that thing? We're going to go right through it. Look out. What are you doing? Fuck put a building in the middle of the water. There's a floating road. A floating road. Now I've seen everything. Kinda witchcraft is this. All right. Get on your logs. We're going under cover. So rumors spread. Rumors always are spreading right now. In Kilbore Town that the Junotown people have paid the captain to run into the bridge. This makes sense. Because the Kilbore Towners would not pay for bridge maintenance. Right. Okay. So yes, this makes sense. This happened. Junotowners

said it was just accidental because the bridge tender did not hang as lights to warn the schooner about the bridge. I still think this man overreacted. Kilbore Towners angrily surrounded the sinking bridge. When Byron arrived they asked him what they should do next and Byron sarcastically replied, just lie down and let the east setters walk all over you. Just fucking take it. Don't do anything. We're trying to help you in the fucking face. We're trying to help you. Don't do shit. We're trying to help you. We're like trying to help you. You just fucking lay down and go, oh, they punch you in the face. Dude, we're trying to help you. You're just so negative. It's hard to follow you. I just wish you'd fucking

pussies. Whole fucking town, all of my people. Come on. Shit. Stop doing this. You're fucking shit. I got like three people to come to this thing. I'm gonna sit around and watch a bridge get destroyed. Dude. Because you're fucking garbage. Come on. He's only like this when he drinks. It's pretty cool normally. That's why I live here. It's awesome here. Junotown to eat mud for breakfast. So you don't go there. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm crying. That's weird. I don't know what just happened. Emotion just kind of kicked into another level. I don't know. My tummy feels weird too. Anywho, good to catch up. I love him so much. I can't handle it. So all the people took this sarcastic account as approval to fight back. On May

7th, 1845. Sorry. That's not what happened. He sarcastically said lay down and take it. So they were like, okay, we won't. I guess. On May 7th, 18... Are we sure he was sarcastic before we go over there? He was for sure. He really held up one word forever. I don't know. I don't know. I think we should just go ahead. Let's just go do it. Do what? Whatever we're about to do. He'll tell me. On May 7th, 1845, Byron held a meeting to discuss removing half of the Chestnut Street Bridge. He wanted to just remove the half on his side of the river to the middle. But Dave, surely he understands that hurts the whole bridge. When you take your half of the bridge and do something with it, it affects the whole bridge. It's like

when you pee in a pool. You're not just peeing in your area. You've peed in everybody's water. It's the weird thing you brought up there. It's an interesting confession you made. If I ever get my hands on the guy who invented that goddamn die, you ruined a good thing we had going. You imagine the first time that happened? Oh, shit. I think it worked. That guy pissed. Huh? Oh, fuck. What is this? Oh, shit. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I don't know what I've been drinking. It's real weird. I must have eaten a pen. That's weird. How the body works. Now, this was the only bridge that Byron helped pay for. The board had ten members, five from Junitown and five from Kilborentown. Kilborentown trustees claimed that the bridge

was, quote, an insupportable nuisance. Yeah. It's a bridge. What are you talking about? What a nuisance. I don't see how it'll work. It's working. I don't believe it. The resolution to remove the Chestnut Street Bridge was adopted. The next morning, church bells rang all over the east side, and people coming out into the street were told the Kilborentowners had taken down the bridge. Quote, very little time was allowed to elapse before the citizens were running about in a high state of excitement, like hands with their heads cut off. Have you heard it? Is it so? Have they dared? Became the interrogations at every corner. The sexton of the first Presbyterian church, having accumulated a great amount of contradictory

intelligence from various corners, came privately to the conclusion that some unfathomable horror had burst somewhere and seizing his only weapon, his bell rope, he rung like a wild man, and that indicated to the peaceful inhabitants that a crisis had taken place in something somewhere, and they were all expected to turn out and hunt it up for themselves. No. No. All right. I am very sorry. What the fuck did you just say? So basically, this sexton is a guy that protects churches. So he hears all these different rumors, and then he goes and starts ringing his bell that shit's gone wrong. And then everyone comes out because they think something's gone horribly wrong.

It's a very different time. The sexton ran down the street screaming, Fire! Wait, what? Did he think there was a fire or he just panicked? You don't know? What is he doing? He's just crazy? He's not good at anything. What is he even hearing? He's batted everything. So, I mean, surely people aren't going, there's a big fire. He just wanted to get everyone out of the houses. Fire! Fire! Okay. Hello, everybody. Good news, good news. There's no fire. And I'm a gossiper.

So after he yelled fire, running up another street, then he, quote, relapsed into another fit of ringing the bell as he hurried towards the common gathering point. This dude is really not handling anything well. So this caused a frenzy. Sure. As the bell sure ringing a lot, something must be going on. As the sexton emerged upon East Water Street, his eye caught the outline of a figure on horseback. As he passed along, the very excited young man was very red in the face, rushed up rather wildly and caught the sexton by the lapel

of his coat and demanded in a quick tone, do you know where I can get any clockweights? So this is a time traveler. Hello there. I need clockweights. Have they been invented yet? I assume clockweights are... Who is this man? Van Helsing? I think the buzzer... Who there? Ah, sexton! I need parts for a watch. I think clockweights are like the things you see on the grandfather clock that hang down, you know. Okay, well who needs them that badly? You. I need clockweights.

There's a fire. I need clockweights, trust me. Okay. This will all make sense. A little while later, witnesses said they saw the young man carrying clockweights down the street. What a great conclusion. He then loaded them into an old cannon that had been dragged to a high spot. Oh, my God. Okay. So, did he never heard of cannon balls? What do you put in these things? Clockweights? I don't think they have any cannon balls. You just have cannons?

We should invent another part to this someday. Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe it's just a thing like this. Put your arm in it. That's fun. Maybe that's what it is. It's an arm holder. The cannon was dragged to a high spot. Now this is a badass move, right? Getting clockweights out of a cannon? For sure when you lie to me, you look to the guy next to you and you go, it's time. So they aimed the cannon at- Honestly, aiming? Probably not a huge part. I mean, you have clockweights? It's just general vicinity. There's a bunch of people. They aimed the cannon at Byron Kilbourne's home on the other side of the river.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, Bill. AC Wheeler, quote, I saw that Byron Kilbourne was the obnoxious person to whom the unthinking populace attributed all their mischief. I knew, too, that the mob, if once put in motion, would shrink from no deed of violence that the crowd would commit every unlawful act, perhaps even murder as a mob. But then a lawyer named Jonathan E. Arnold jumped up and stood on top of the cannon. Fire. Fuck this guy. I'm a lawyer. Definitely fire. He waited until the noise and commotion calmed down and people were listening and then- It wasn't been furious. And then he announced that just that morning Kilbourne's daughter

had died and her body was now laying in the house. And then everyone, everyone's anger dissipated a little bit. Well, that sucks. Is he okay? How's he doing? I'm sure it's hard. It's very hard. It's a hard day. No, his daughter's dead. He's not good. It's a dumb question. Yeah. How long until he's attackable? Five days. Five? Seems like pretty quick grieving process. I think that we'll give him eight days. I think that seems fair. Oh, very nice. But then, and nobody tell him this in just over a week- He'll have no idea. We're going to fire all these clots. We've

been over coming back here just as pissed, okay? I mean, there's no way he saw the hundreds of people and the cannon pointed at his house. Right. Exactly. Yeah. It's a tragedy when a parent out lester- All right. Let's get out of here. All right. Stay fired up, everybody. Let's meet back here once a day just to kind of stoke the flames a little. What do you say, huh? Get re-pissed. So the crowd dissipated and- By the way, I call bullshit. Yeah, maybe. And Arnold tried to speak to their common decency. Quote, he appealed to them as Americans, as citizens, as fathers. And while he did not exonerate those who had overstepped the limits of discretion already, he boldly branded

the man who would dare to tear a father from the corpse of his child as a coward and savage. Unworthy the safeguards that civilization had, well, there's a word, vouchsafed. Mm-hmm. When reason came back, sorry, reason came and took the place of impulse, the more violent felt ashamed and when Mr. Arnold disappeared from the temporary rostrum, the crisis had been averted. Okay. So Ecom is a lawyer. Yeah. Yep. It was agreed that the crowd would come back at 4 p.m. What? I mean, what time is it now? Like 3? It's like 10? It's very early in the morning. All right. Well, let's give him some space. Let's meet back here in five hours. Then we'll kill him. By the way, your plan, if your plan was to shoot clockweights

into his house, his daughter was like, you were going to maybe kill his daughter. Yeah. Okay. But that's better than her being dead and you hitting her body with stuff. It's a weird line, but I guess in Milwaukee at the time, that's all we had. So the crowd did return at exactly 4 p.m. And once again, they were an angry mob, emotional as ever. But then the board, the trustee board, called the meeting for that evening. And everyone calmed down and went to the meeting. And without discussing it with any of the Kilborn town representatives, they made it illegal to cut, remove, or damage any bridges. The penalty would be a $50 fine in five days in jail. So there's really very little stopping

you from removing bridges still. There's little what? Very little stopping you from removing bridges again. Yeah. Well, a $50 fine is pretty heavy. Yeah. But if you're kill born, you're like, fuck that. Oh, true. Okay. Yeah. But everybody who does it physically would be in trouble. Sure. But Kilborn's got the money to pay all the fines. Yeah, I got eight guys. Letter published in the Gino town paper attacked the quote outrageous acts of a few Ruffians in the West Ward and said they should rebuild the Chestnut Street bridge solid and permanent and sweep away all the other bridges. He also called Byron a dictator. It was signed quote a taxpayer. Almost 100% was Solomon. Yeah, for sure. He's putting little accents on

the ease. We're pretty sure we know who this is. For the next several days, all bridges were guarded by armed men as settlers on both sides of the river attempted to tear bits and pieces off each other's bridges. It's your bridge. It's all your bridge. You share the fucking thing. Well, you know, it'll show them take that bridge out. Wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait. My mind is little, but wait. No, it works. That works. That's good. Your bridge, your fucking bridge. Stay away from my bridge. I'll show him when I take a part of this bridge. I can't even hear me. Stay. Why is he looking at me? Is he hearing me? In the midst of this chaos, a candy store capital, a candy store. Oh, that's a candy

store captain auto. That's an auto correct. It says candy store capitalized, but that's not what happened. A candy store capitalized. So a candy store. We have a candy that'll help. Bridge flavored chocolate. I'm an alcoholic. A candy store owner published what would be the first of several ads in the courier, quote, to the excitement between the East and West Ward still runs high. We have charged our soda fountain to the muzzle to be ready for the incursions from the West Ward. If any of the belligerents from that side should have the temerity to show their heads on this side, my stock of candy will be sure to cool them off. If they are ever so hot, so come along. Okay, so this local Wonka man is, uh,

is like coating them to be like, it's very dangerous. But if you get over here, you can have a never ending cop stopper. That's right. Right. Yeah, like it's like almost written in a threatening tone, but there's no threat. Well, if they do make it over here, I'll serve them just like everyone else. I love money. I like money. On May 15th, the board of trustees met again with representatives from each ward. They voted to remove the wells and onitistry bridges and use pieces of it to repair the chestnut bridge. This meant that both the Junotown settlers preferred bridges were going to be taken down. Junotowners learned of the news and were livid. Posters were distributed across the town. Quote, it was a call upon

the citizens of the east ward who were desirous of vindicating and maintaining their rights to keep on the old stomping ground. A street gathering was called. They came armed with muskets and sledgehammers. Jesus Christ. The morning of May 28th, AC Wheeler, quote, the citizens assembled about the corners of Wisconsin and east water streets to the number of several hundred. Among the number of was one Watson, a blacksmith, and a man by the name of Hawkins, an engineer. The former carried a sledgehammer in his brawny arms and the latter a screw wrench, weapons that were to be used as the impulse prompted, either impounding the west ciders or in dismantling the bridge. Jesus Christ. Violent. The cannon was brought out

again and fired. And again, the community gathered around the corners. Wait, they fired the clock weights? I don't know if it just said it fired. I think they just shot it off. I don't think they shot anything at anybody. Cool. A man said, yelled out, we should let down the spring street bridge. The engineer Hawkins began walking towards the bridge and Watson and the crowd followed him at the bridge. Hawkins began to unscrew the bolts, holding it up as the crowd cheered him on. Others began running around to find other tools to help. But the crowd was so heated that the slow, deliberate unscrewing of the bridge wasn't quite what they wanted. Yeah. How much longer do you think it's going to

take? We're exhausted. Five hours. Five hours. Yeah. Shit. Anybody have a ratchet screwdriver? Why didn't you come with some of this stuff? We're all really jazzed up. You should have just gotten us over here at the end. What about this? How about every time I turn, you guys go, whoa. It's really hot out. Some of us haven't had water for a while. Just ready? It's not that great. I gotta be honest. Let's get really fired up, you guys. Five hours? Yeah. So Watson then walked up with a sledgehammer and gave, quote, the iron rods, two or three heavy blows with his sledge, separated them and the draw dropped into the water, then went up a wild cheer from the mob. This is insane. I mean, they really hate bridges. The crowd became

more excited after watching the bridge fall into the river. AC Wheeler, quote, a gentleman saw, which really was Kilborn's fear to begin with. Yeah. Yeah. AC Wheeler, quote, a gentleman saw one fellow with an ax cleaving and scattering one of the logs after it had been pulled from the structure and so entirely carried away with the excitement. Was he that he literally foamed at the mouth? That guy just needs water. That dude is, you just need some water. That dude is not a chilled person. Because I hate the bridge. Another man yelled, quote, let us tear down the Menominee Bridge. And the crowd ran towards that bridge. Soon, quote, the bridge was attained and was triumphantly overthrown, knocked down. They're overthrowing

bridges. I mean, there was now one bridge left. My God. It started to dawn on the people what they had done. Because now it is how bad do you want? No bridges. AC Wheeler, quote, having vented their spite in the inoffensive timbers, this crowd of citizens immediately felt better. Some of them laughed. Others joked. All of them came out in the best of spirits as though as though they felt ashamed of themselves. It wasn't a pickup basketball game. And we're laughing at their own folly. Oh my God. Remember when we put the bridge of the what? Oh my God. We are. Are we not? Are we not just the most incorrigible bridges? We have lost our minds. You were nuts. You were nuts. I was like a bridge killed my mom.

And you were shouting that. We were all believing it. You were the sledgehammer. You are nuts. Was there foam coming out of my mouth? Foaming at the mouth. Holy shit. Yes, you were foaming. You still are. You got it around the sides of your lips. I just got crazy. You went nuts. Oh my God. We are just talking about getting caught up in the moment. Are we not a couple of rascals? I know. I mean, good Lord. You know, it's amazing. There's one bridge left. It's going to suck. We were going to go get that one. We were ready to go get it. Oh my God. Thank God we didn't. Thank God. Because I'll be honest. Junotown is gorgeous. I really like it over there. I really like bridges. That's the thing. I love bridges. I love.

I don't know what the hell happened to me back there. I love a bridge. I'm from Junotown. I just got so. You guys seem so convincing. Yeah. You guys are nuts. Oh boy. Well, I'm going to head back to the other side. Yeah. I have a knee side, by the way. Well, great. You know, it seems like we have a lot in common. Bridge. Keep that bridge up. Good to laugh. It's good to laugh. So the bridge tearing madness had cooled down. They realized that they had destroyed nearly all the routes that connected the two sides of the river. There was just one standing bridge left at Wisconsin Street. Of the last bridge, AC Wheeler wrote quote, it was a bird that to cross it safely, the teams had to start halfway up the hill

and dash across with all possible seed before it sunk under them. So I'm not sure if they damaged it or if there were so many people on it that everyone was just like fucking running. Jesus Christ. But I assume they probably damaged it also but then stopped. Right. So there's one bridge now and it's shaking. Not great. Right. Okay. Still the war was not over. Over the following months, the fight continued in the rival newspapers. Each paper dedicated a column to a writer. One writer was a taxpayer and the other writer was named another taxpayer. Okay. So Juno and Kilborn. Each represented their town's opinions. They argued back and forth in writing for months. At one point, an anonymous writer

called Citizen joined in. Then a writer called Lawn Order tried to calm everything down. Sure. Sure. One of taxpayers columns quote, we must take a firm stand on this question. We will tell on these spring street gentlemen who are the instigators of this outrage and not upon them only, but upon all that part of the West Ward. Don't let the trustees of the West Ward be gammoned. What is gammoned? Keep going. Nor yield one inch as to the Chestnut Street Bridge and to which in good order and successful operation, our citizens have contributed so much both from their corporate and their individual funds. So while the newspaper wars were going on, people who needed to cross the bridge had to show a white flag so they

would not be attacked by people on either side of the bridge if they wanted to cross. What? See. I'm going over to get bacon. Is that a white flag? Yep. Bacon. Yep. All right. You can go. I just want to walk on the bridge. Don't stop waving it or you're going to get the whaling of a lifetime. Okay. Okay. All right. You're a weird little guy, aren't you? Would I have my hands full of bacon coming back? Because it's a lot. How much bacon are you buying, dude? It's a lot of bacon. We're having a bacon party. Well, buy enough bacon so you can keep waving the flag or you're going to get beaten. How? I'm not looking to have a back and forth, buddy. I'm just telling you the rules of the bridge. Okay.

Get to the others. You don't have to wave it so much. It's not, no, you're not color guard. Chill out. Okay. Just yeah, go get your weird bacon. Can I put the flag in my shirt so it sticks out the back? If you keep moving and you kind of keep... And I do this? Yeah. If you keep moving your back so it's still waving, it's not, if it's just a white flag, that's not going to do anything. It's got to be waving. We know you're chill. There you go. There you go. Would you like some bacon, boys? Yeah. Hey, take this guy's bacon. What? Steal it from him. Fuck this guy. No, white flag. White flag. White flag. Throw his flag in the river. No. Yeah. Throw him in the river. I don't know why weird little

bacon man tickles me so much. At one point, Junotowners spread a rumor that they were going to tear down the West Ward's dam, but they had no intention of actually doing it because it would be devastating. They were just fucking with the Kilborn towners. And then they sent two men over to Kilborn town to see how they were reacting, and the two spies reported that Byron now had armed guards in front of his home. Okay. A lot of Kilborn towners took the dam threat very seriously. Playing into the joke even more, Junotowners spread another rumor that they're going to aim the cannon at the dam and demolish it with a single blow. The spies spread the rumor also that a shot from the cannon was the signal

to destroy the dam. So the spies go around and tell everybody that when they hear the cannon, that that means that that's a signal to destroy the dam. So then... By the way, if you hear the cannon, they're going to destroy like... And then a little while later, everyone hears a boom because they set off the cannon, and Kilborn town goes fucking apeshit. It's the middle of the night. All these armed guys go out and gather in the street. Quote, as might be expected, in a very little while, the West Ward was in a state of great excitement. Lights were seen passing quickly and flashing here and there in the river. The sound of voices was heard, and it was known on the east side that the joke was working very well.

It's just getting weird now. So now it's pranks. Yeah, now it's pranks. For the next week, Junotowners laughed as they watched armed Kilborn towners guard the dam day and night with weapons. Okay. For years after, Junotowners considered to be one of the best pranks of all time. While Kilborn towners insisted that they had actually tried to destroy the dam and that they saved it. And the truth is probably that there was never a shot in the dam. Yeah, they just feel weird. Solomon and Byron suffered considerable infrastructure setbacks from destroying each other's bridges. Sure. At this point, they finally realized they would be better off working together. You mean building a bridge? Oh my god. Fucking. This is just

so rich people thing. It's rich men. It's so like... It's too rich guys just making people try to kill each other. Yeah, just for their own benefit and then eventually being like, you know, it seems pretty cheap to get along. That's why we'll do it. Like that's the only rationale. In December, the trustees put together a plan to build three new bridges. I mean, if you live here, you must be so sick of the word bridge. You're like, stop saying it. God. Oh, what? It's a card game? Oh my god. Shut up about the fucking bridge. You hear about the bridge? Not that one. There's a new bridge. Got a couple new bridges. Then we took down the old bridge. I'm paying a bridge to it. So

I'm going to build a bridge inside a bridge. A city charter was drafted on May 31st, 1846. The city of Milwaukee was formed with a population of nearly 600,000. The only other city around the size was Chicago. To avoid any future conflicts, the municipal government of Milwaukee agreed to handle all bridge building and maintenance. Yeah. Yeah. Solomon was the first mayor of Milwaukee from 1846 until 1847. In 1854... What a run. In 1854, Solomon, his family moved to Dodge County, Wisconsin, where they founded the village of Teresa. Solomon died there in 1856. He was at a Menominee village with six chiefs who were pallbearers at his funeral. Byron got involved in the railroad industry. He was fired as president of the Milwaukee

and Mississippi Railroad for mismanagement and fraud in 1852. Tracks. So he started a new railroad to compete with the formal railroad that he worked for. I'm going to put myself out of business. But his public career was ruined after a scandal. He was alleged to have used around $900,000 in railroad bonds to bribe state officials for land grants, which should be about $24 million today. So his railroad then failed. And in 1868 Byron moved to Jacksonville, Florida to relieve his rheumatism symptoms. He died there December 16th, 1870 at the age of 69. In 1935, the Milwaukee Journal noted that, quote, Milwaukee's bridges carry more than one million persons daily. The city has more movable bridges in proportion to

its population than any other city in the land. During the Great Depression years, the Milwaukee Bridge count hit 100 more than any other city in America. But the names... They were like, we've been burned. We're going to build 100. But the names of the streets never changed. So a street on one side of a bridge would have a different name than the street on the other side. Also, there was no numerical system to identify houses, businesses, or other buildings in the city, which caused residents of visitors to have no idea where anything was. And private developers were allowed to name streets, so they would often just name them after themselves or family members. They paid no attention

to how names of adjacent streets or cross streets were. So it's just every block, you're like, what should we call this one? Teresa. Okay, great. Next. Teresa. Weird. I don't know if we want to do two back to back. Teresa. Okay. No.

No. Teresa. Okay, yeah. So this led to long streets having many different names along their length. Also, the same name was used for several streets in several different parts of Milwaukee. Always a fun move. Can I just try to get around? It's an homage to the one that's over there.

Around 1900 postal workers, it fucking had it. Yeah, they were like, I mean, seriously. Wait, what? Yeah, 17 is that one. Across the water. No, the other chestnut. No, it's not Water Street anymore. No. It's not how it works. They demanded street names be changed. So a commission was created a street naming system to create a street naming system in 1913. After a lot of discussion, the commission suggested putting numbered streets in one direction and named streets in the other direction,

which a lot of cities do. Everyone agreed, but generations of families who lived with their street names were super attached to them. They didn't want their street name to change, but they wanted the other street names to change. Well, surely that'll work out real well. So nothing happened. A second committee was formed in the night committee. All right, we're going to do it now, though. In 1921, Jesus Christ, but the members could not agree on what should be changed and how

to do it. We would all rather lose than any of us would. It's ironically a Solomon's choice. Mayor Daniel Hone finally just disbanded the committee. And then in 1926, this is five years later, the mayor ordered a city engineer to drop a plan and put him in charge of naming the streets. Over four years, the changes were made. Assigning only one name to a street took more than 80 names off the city's map. Wow. So it really was bad. Wow.

There were so many duplicate street names in each ward that over 60 new street names had to be added to fix it. Oh, my God. Eventually the bridges of Milwaukee became one of the most notable features of the city, especially because many of the bridges across the river run at an angle diagonally across the river. Because... Because they're trying to connect.

Connect to streets that are cock-eyed. Talk about a legacy. Late in 1998, Byron Killboard's remains were dug up and returned to Milwaukee from Florida for internment at Forest Home Cemetery. They should have been re-burned. Solomon is buried at Calvary Cemetery, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Wow. So your city is fucking bananas.

That is so crazy. Look, rich people fucking suck. Yeah. There's just... And Gino wasn't that bad, but someone was a fucking crazy rich asshole. Genetic. Who built his city to the side a little bit to take over the other city. Adam was a fucking mind.

We built this city. Oh, my God. And then of course all the poor people are trying to kill each other because the rich guys started a bunch of shit. Right, yeah. When has that happened? Iraq. We leave here.

I can't imagine... We go kill all the rich people. Oh, wow. That was a little too enthusiastic. By the way, how long until shit like that... I mean, in this day and age, it's like there will be a kill-borne sect that's like, we are taking the bridges back. Like, you know, just a group of people are like, wait, what?

It's like they're on this dumb website. They believe... They think bridges are... It's a long thing. Bridges are killing us. No more bridges. I mean, you could go online and like go, hey, look, a lot of child molestation is happening on bridges.

Yeah. And all the Trump people will be like, stop the bridges. Or just be like, kill-borne was a hero. Kill-borne did all... You could totally build them up. And people would be like, we're kill-borners. I'm a kill-borne again. Yeah.

And they'd be like tearing down the bridges, just like, no, we don't believe you. What's the benefit? It doesn't matter. Benefits, benefit. We're doing something, period. And then a lawyer has to get on a cannon again, gentlemen. I don't know. I should have written something down.

That is... I really... I mean, I just had no idea. I know we... Did anybody know that? Let me do it, yeah. Yeah. That's the kind of shit that they really...

The fact that they don't teach it in Milwaukee schools is a crime. Why? Because it's just super interesting. Why wouldn't you want kids to know that? Why would you not? Every kid would be telling that story for fucking years. It... Constantly and being...

It does shock me. How boring it was. And we just recorded our 403rd episode or something. Like... Yeah. It would be so easy to make history. I would have enjoyed the class. Yeah.

It's been a long year since you... Yes. Sir, I understand. Thank you. But... Yeah. It's a crime. The way they...

It's nuts. The way they teach kids. Yeah. Unless you're a teacher. Then you're doing great. Well, it's... It's not... Yeah.

It's not their fault. I mean... We just took our... We just took a fan out of a school and moved them to another one because they... They had... He's 10. The teacher had them doing three and a half hours of homework a night. And we were like, oh, that's how 10-year-olds fucking go crazy.

And when I talked to the teacher, she's like, you just got to get him ready for junior high. And I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? But also... Then we pulled him out of the school. And the great thing is that you found a school that not only less homework, it's full creationism. And so you're like... Yes. You jump on that.

That's right. These people tell the truth. It all started 6,000 years ago. Yeah. Dinosaur bones are a fake. They're there to trick you. Yeah. Yep.

Yeah. It's chalk, people. Look it up. Guys, thank you so much for coming out. We really appreciate it, truly. Means a lot. Love Milwaukee. Thank you.

Thank you.