The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 407 - The Egg War

Episode Date: December 10, 2019

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Farallon Island's Egg WarSourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. You're listening to the Dullup on the All Things Comedy Network. My name is Dave

Anthony and each week I read a story from American history to my bro. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about or what the endowment will be because recently you have accused me of being your nemesis for most of the episodes. You are. Then how am I a bro right now? Well I mean not that I don't want that because that to me is better to talk to me like that it's way better. Yeah but the nemesis is a complicated relationship isn't it? Especially when it all just lives in one man's head. Well I don't know if it lives in a swims and a pond of delusion. We texted today right? Yeah. What was the last thing

you texted to me? I think I said literally fuck off. Okay so now people understand what I'm going through. No because our text relationship is purely one person acting insane and the other one insisting to be left alone. Or it's around the road and we want to get lunch. Those are the only times we that's only frames for how we text. What did I say to you right before you said literally fuck off? Dude. What did I say to you? You said I love you. Okay. It's pretty damning. And called it quote is jam-packed. Jam-packed? I'm the fucking hippo guy. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not

going to come to Tigglypock. Okay. This is like an ad on it. On a five part coefficient. Now hit him with a puppy. You both present sick arguments. Actually partner. Hi Gary. No. Has he done my friend? No. At some point I'll put the our latest theme song into the into my phone. Right so this is this is not a creative decision you've made. No it's just a lazy man. A sloth predicament. It's a sloth predicament. A show that I by the way would I watch the hell out of a show called the sloth predicament where you just set up something very simple for the sloth to do but it's just probably not gonna like

Kennedy to Cracker in an hour. Wait to what say that again? Huh? Kennedy to Cracker in an hour. Oh Kennedy to Cracker. Yeah. I thought you said Kennedy to Cracker. I thought you're talking about JFK. Kennedy to Cracker. It's a Kennedy to Cracker. It's what you do is each cracker comes with part of the head bit and all. And that's all it is. And there's gooey filling that'll get all over your driveway. What? It's not a cracker. It makes sense what you just said. Because when I was coming out it did not feel right. No I didn't feel right for anybody I gotta be honest. All right. January 24th 1848 year of our Lord Jesus Christ. Nice to be back into American

history and the last time we did the dollop we were in Europe. Our last dollop was in Denmark where we're the number one podcast. Anyway let's not let's not self-filate. Let's get into the story. James Wilson Marshall found Gold Flakes at Sutter's Mill on the American River in Coloma, California. Okay. My first reaction was these are religious flakes. Yeah of course. The Lord's Dandruff. Yeah. Yeah. This quickly led to one of the largest mass migrations in American history. In 1947 San Francisco had a thousand. 1847. Sorry. Right. Oh this is 19. Yeah you're right. In 1847 San Francisco had a thousand people living there. Okay. Two

years later there were a hundred thousand. Okay. So that's fucking badass. It's a big pickup. Sure. It's probably because the 49ers were so good that year. That's right. Because people love to come and hang out with the team and watch the team. Mm-hmm. Now that didn't even included surrounding areas. So there probably you know 300,000 people came west between 1848 and 1855 hoping to you know. Find some gold flakes. Find some gold. Yeah. Ships from all over the world headed for San Francisco Bay. Most of the ships were old and worn down and when the crew arrived they all including the captain just left it and headed for the

gold fields. Okay. So people would just abandon their boat. It's essentially like you're pulling the move when you pull up to the airport and you're like someone's like sir you can't park here and you're like keep it. That's the move but it's with boats. That's right. That's exactly what's happened. All right. Yeah. Thousands of ships were left to rot in dock. Well I would imagine that somebody would be like I'm going to take this at this time and just be like I'm gonna go somewhere and find something. Well most of the ships were deliberately sunk in the shallow Yerba Buena Cove or taken apart piece by piece and used for other

reasons. Okay. Right. Sure. So strip that shit. Yeah. I like sinking it in shallow water. Yeah. That's kind of fun. We can still see it dad. Oh no. I should have sunk it more. You got real lazy didn't you? I just wanted to get off in a shallow part. It makes sense but again total half of it's visible. Anyway it's down. Kind of. No it's sunk. It's officially sunk. It looks like it's just on its side. That's a sunk boat. No. No. It's supposed to be completely submerged. I have to go. But I just feel I mean okay. It's fine. I mean you're still standing on it. Yeah but. Looks movable. Okay I'm floating away on my suitcase now.

That's a really weird decision. Bye. You go the wrong way. Fuck. Oh my god. So some were stripped of their brass then burned to make way for new arriving ships. We've always been great. Perfect. Other ships were put to use like the Niantic which was run aground in what is now the financial district. Okay. And was used as a hotel and a warehouse. The boat was? Yeah. So they just ran in a ground and then on the show. Here we go. We sell suits. You know there's a suit. My dad came to tell me he wanted me and my brother my brother and I to go meet with him at a sushi restaurant that he'd found and it was a ship on land. Yeah.

And we were like oh this is where you go to get food poisoning. That's exactly. My father was like I've been coming here all week. Not becoming here. That's exactly what this is. Okay. And they sell suits. Yeah. Sushi. The Arkansas was turned into a bar. Okay. So this is interesting. Customers would walk up the gang plank from the shore to get a drink. Wow. So you get the whole experience. Yeah. Right. All right. The Euphemia was turned into a prison. So they're now and they are just putting these ships on land and then opening them up as businesses. Yeah. So this is sort of like. Because you remember there's a thousand there were

a thousand people now there's a hundred thousand. So you got to use services. Right. Okay. Another ship was turned into an asylum. And now this is again a jail in an asylum. I feel like how big are these ships. I mean they're some of them are decent sized. Asylum size. Well no. I mean that's that's different. Right. But you know you can have a mini asylum situation. Right. Sure. Sure. And that's what they did. So you so you have some sort of mental issue. I think the official term back then was you go bananas. And then then you're in a ship. Yeah. And then you're like oh now I'm getting the comfort I need. And then you're like oh

it's it's on land and everything. Yeah. That's not good. Right. Perfect. That doesn't help the mental situation. I don't think any of it is about. Certainly does not help depression. No. Yeah. Everything needed to be used to keep up with the exploding population was used. Besides the gold miners there were also entrepreneurs and criminals. All of these people needed to be fed. Okay. Well it's time to get a ship on there. Farmers couldn't keep up and food prices exploded. Okay. Author author Eva Crescent quote it was a protein hungry town but there was nothing to eat. They didn't have the infrastructure to feed all the

hungry male workers. Okay. And right. And what about the females who also were around. I guess they don't matter. Okay. And there's barely enough food for all the men. What about us. We're sorry. Obviously you are in a terrible spot. Oh we're trying to figure out a way to feed your husbands. You know. Get them nice and they vomit into your mouth. Yes. If they're if you're lucky. Yes. All right. So that's a good plan. Any who. All right. This place has sushi. Go in here. That's just a fellow eat no raw fish. Oh my gosh. That's the asylum. It feels sexual. Oh my god. Hey it is sexual. Locked in here. Leave that hell of it alone. God. I made

it come. Sir. You're on the wrong ship. So. It would be. They needed a lot of not just vegetables but animals and they needed chickens really. Sure. Eggs were imported to California from all over the world including China, Chile, Hawaii. Local farmers grew vegetables. They could they could not make chicken farming work. Wow. California's tried to set up chicken farms but they failed time and time again. Chickens would die from California bird diseases. That was one reason they they didn't make it. Okay. So just like a there was just an epidemic at the time. Well there you know there's just natural bird diseases.

Right. Obviously out there that you know the bird flew and whatnot the way I'll know about. And so they would just infect the birds and then. Okay. But then there were other there were other reasons. Okay. The chickens didn't catch on. Okay. They all tried like immigrant Italian immigrant Pierre Giuseppe Baratelli. Pierre. Yeah. I don't know. My parents. They're crazy. I like a spicy meatball. Hey bring up here some spicy meatball. Hey I'm a French Italian. People thought our other accents were bad. Nothing beats our Italian. Well listen I again I don't know we don't we yeah it's the we that I'm just like

there's a there's a chasm between what we're doing so. So Pierre tried to become a chicken farmer quote. This is again a christenth quote. In April 1852 after escaping yet another fire he made an auspicious I guess there are a lot of fires. They just keep coming at me starting to think you're lighting up. No. No. No. No. Okay. I just it's just always fires around me. Laughing real hard. Yeah. Fire. Jesus. After escaping yet another fire he made an auspicious start on a new scheme raising and selling chickens at three dollars a piece. Okay. It's a lot of money. Value the value of life is

astonishing. I think three dollars if I yeah it's around that would be around sixty bucks. Okay. Though though admitting in his correspondence that he was now spending most of his time looking through garbage dumps in search of feed for his chickens. So the the chicken man as I'll call him. Yes. Is spending most of his time in dumpsters. Garbage dumps looking for things to feed his chicken. Right. Okay. Like a chicken like batteries they like pipes. Sure. All the stuff you'll find. Scraps like the side of an RV. That's what a chicken will eat. Right. That's good. Yeah. I like to picture him going around the dump looking for it much like a chicken

packs food. That's right. Pierre now there's some good stuff here. Now you're getting Pierre. Yeah. I'm a find in some good things. As mostly visual. Yes. We're not a translate. So the chickens. So basically his chickens were hit by a disease and then wiped out. Okay. He's looking. But there were two reasons the chickens weren't catching on one. It was too expensive to feed the chickens because vegetables are being grown. But those are all being eaten by people. People were eating all right. So they're in competition. So that's what all the miners are eating. So you have to go to a garbage dump to find some food. And then the chickens are

weak and then. Yeah. I'm sure you're not finding great stuff if there's like basic starvation going. Yeah. It's not great. It's not great. You don't usually see farmers. Meanwhile the women are just like sorry. Can we get. It seems like it's either between the men or the chickens. Honey. Come on. Come on. Tell you. You're a woman. Am I wrong? Come on. Lady. You can eat your fingernails or something like that. I see you guys doing that. You guys do that. A bunch of crude tents popped up as restaurants. Okay. Hundreds of hungry men would eat in shifts in the tents. Chicken eggs were going for as much as a dollar

a dozen which would be $33 today. Okay. Wow. The few chickens that had been in SF had been eaten by the newly arriving miners. So when they first got there they just ate all the chickens. Instead of like. Whatever few chickens were there. Right. But for the most part it was you know they couldn't they just couldn't raise them. Everyone wanted eggs. Grocery Stars put up egg wanted advertisements in newspapers. Eggs wanted. How is like the layman going to be like I've solved it. What are they even. They're just complaining. That's not an actual want. Hello. I saw your sign. I'm the Eggman. I've got all the eggs you need. No that's not it.

I didn't do it. Sorry I'm so used to doing turkey. Dave you just had a foul mouth down. Do you know how rare that is. Sorry I'm still in the head of the turkey. Thanksgiving was so recently. I haven't transitioned to chicken yet. I have not at all. I'm planning on doing quail around the holidays. Just quail themed. So an ad in the Sonoma County Journal in 1857 read quote wanted butter and eggs for which the highest price will be paid at the store. Next door is Reed and Frittac's blacksmith shop. In case you can't find it. I mean what an era. We're right next door to the blacksmith. Yeah they probably just opened up. And they're just

expecting some. It's not a great time for a show up. Like a store. A store shouldn't have a sign from being like well buy your stuff. That's the sign the people who want the store should be wearing. That's right. Not the store. I came in here for eggs. Do you have eggs. No we came here for eggs. We work here. We're the store. Do you have any to sell us. No I'm here. I'm here in the store to get eggs. I'm in the store too. You must have something to sell us. No it's your store right. Oh we're an upside down store mister. I would like to. I just need eggs and butter. Now you work here. Put the apron on. What. Hey can I get some eggs and butter. That's an

impression of you. You sound wackadoodle. That's why I'm in here to buy eggs and butter and bread from you. Alright well since you work at the store. Yeah. What I'll tell you is. I don't work at the store. There was a long pause where you didn't say anything which makes me think you do work at the store. I'm confused because it's your store right. Look sir all I'm looking for is some eggs and butter. If you don't have any please leave. I'm gonna leave. No you can't. Your shift started. I don't work here. Assistant manager. What. You got promoted. Look you're in charge of the egg search and it's a lofty position. Doesn't pay a lot but if

you can find eggs and butter well guess what you work at the store. Hey boys I'm here for some eggs and butter. You should run. You should get the hell out of here. Put this guy in back. What. Put him in back I'll show you. What. We're gonna kill him. What are you talking about. Shut up. We're gonna sell him his chicken. What. This man's got eggs in him. I can sniff him. Okay fellas I'm gonna take off. No. Got him. Got him like a piggy. That one ended weird. Eggs being big money people began forging for them. I thought you were saying forging. For. For. These are eggs. Forging eggs. Just a piece of paper. The blacksmith. This is a piece of paper you're in it. That kind of forging.

Yeah. I thought I was going with like forging steel. Sure. After all the bird nests on shore have been plundered they started to look. Oh man when someone found a bird they're like 28 miles west of San Francisco in the Pacific Ocean are the Feralon Islands. Sure. The islands have been called the devil's teeth islands by mariners because of the submerged ridges around them. Okay. They have been described as looking like a piece of the moon fell into the sea. Okay. Are you down with that? Sure. I mean I don't hope for it but. Oh you do hope for it. Where's a picture. Oh here we go. Oh okay I see what you're saying. The Coast Mewa tribe called them quote the islands of the dead. Author Susan Casey quote I can't

overstate the dangers of that place and how hostile it is to human life. It's a place where every animal thrives because it's the wildest of the wild but it's a tough place for humans. Oh god. Dramatic music swell. In 1850 there were a ton of birds and therefore a ton of eggs on the 211 acres of the Feralon Islands. Oh gosh. Each spring hundreds of thousands of birds landed on the jagged cliffs and cranked out eggs of all colors and sizes. Oh my god. Casey quote it is really a different place during the egg season. There is just the egg season. So we have the egg season and then we have town ravenous for eggs. That's right. Do you see. I see the math equation. It's a beautiful mining. There's just this

din of birds that goes on 24 hours a day. The whole island is filled with birds. It looks like it has been frosted with white. Oh boy. Aaron is now in the breaking Aaron's in the video. Yeah. Yeah. You everyone's like what is now we can finally tell what Aaron is. Yeah. Here's our boy. Human man. Human man. So in 1849 city councilman and actor David Robinson decided to make some money with his brother-in-law. Okay. They sailed to the Feralons and grabbed as many eggs as possible from the nests. Okay. The seas were so rough heading back they lost half of the eggs. So nobody wins. Yeah. I mean you can't. How do you package them back then? I mean there's a lot of eggs. You can't hold them in your hands. You got

a bunch of just spilling eggs into the ocean. Just crack, crack, crack, crack. But they still managed to save enough to make $3,000 by taking and selling something they had no right to take and sell. Yeah. Right. So they made and that's a killing back then. $3,000. Oh, I'm sure. Yeah. But the entire trip was such a nightmare. Robinson and his brother-in-law said they would never do it again. Okay. Robinson made enough money to open a pharmacy and from then on it was nicknamed Doc Robinson. Okay. So he made off like a bandit. Right. And I'm sure it was a really great doctor for the era. Well, if you open a store and you have medicine and people start calling you doctor. If you have a boat and like medicine. That's right. And I'm air

quoting. You're air quoting? Mm-hmm. Oh, okay. It's just scary looking at it. Yeah. You can only see it. That was when you that's that was like the the way in San Francisco to know that it was a super clear days if you could see the pherolons from the Golden Gate Bridge. Right. Yeah, it looks very difficult to get on land and get off land. Yeah, it's like everything is jagged. Right. Yeah. Word was now out, however, about the eggs. Well, let the idiot boat parade start. And people immediately flocked to the pherolons. The egg rush had begun. Oh, good. And these birds. Yeah. These birds who hang out for decades, hundreds of years have been like dropping their eggs. Yeah, it's simple place to like have have a baby chicks and yeah. And instead now humans are like,

we made something called the Egg McMuffin stupid bird. Yeah, pretty. Give me your baby. I'm gonna eat it. It's good. Yeah. Sometimes I put you with it in an omelet. What? Yeah, you're flesh and then your baby mixed together mama baby nom nom nom nom nom. I'm just here trying to have a baby with my I can't believe I'm talking to a fucking bird. Okay. So I'm gonna fly away. Wait, wait, this is such a rare opportunity. I don't feel like it is. What's the meaning of life bird? Don't eat eggs. I'm gonna eat all your eggs. No, that's not you're a false messenger. Yeah. Yes, you are. Tell the truth. I'm gonna hard boil some others. I'm gonna poach those are my baby over medium my baby omelette my baby yum. The fuck's the matter? I'm gonna eat them raw right now like

Rocky about shit on your head. Good payback. The men became known as Eggers. Cool. So it was a nightmare made way to make money. Two kinds of birds mirrors and goals. The mirror nests were high up on the side of the ragged cliffs. So and the Eggers had to climb over bird shit covered rocks, go up the steep cliffs while that so the the mirrors would fly off but then the seagulls would attack would attack the people. So they'd be fighting out the seagulls while yeah, there's only so much seagulls can do to attack humans. I mean, have you ever seen the movie the birds? Yeah, but that seems like how about an explosion? Sure. Okay, car explosion. Fair, fair. The mirror are a black and white seabird. They kind of look like a little bit like a penguin.

They got a little penguin. Oh, well, the last time we talked about that species, things ended well. The penguins? Yeah. No, they were fine. Yeah. Okay, I don't know how to do this. Do that bottom to that arrow to the arrow. There's the guy. Okay, yeah, they look a little magpiesh. Yeah. So they had the eggs that were the most wanted. The eggs had a thick and pear shaped shell and were gray or turquoise and speckled. And they were as edible as chicken eggs, but twice the size. Right. Okay, so win-win went fucking huge win, right? Yeah, I mean, as long as you only value the life of your people. Huge win. Huge win. The biggest drawback was how the eggs looked. Well, the vanity of these starving assholes. I mean, it's just a little spotty, isn't it? Isn't

it a little just spotty? Oh, no, when they cracked it open. Oh. The white part is clear and gelatinous. That sounds like eggs. No, the one visitor to SF wrote, quote, I must confess the site. Oh, it's white. The second you crack it, it's okay. It's clear. Oh, it's clear. But that's what that feels like. No, eggs are white. Once you cook them. Clear. Yeah, okay. But these stayed clear, I guess. Oh, okay, weird, weird. Can scarcely be called appetizing. The whites, though thoroughly fried, still transparent and the yolks. Ghost eggs. Of a fiery orange color, almost red. Whoa, red ghost eggs. Yeah, ghost egg, yeah. We call them Satan's eyes. No. Yeah. I don't want those. Also, a stalemere egg had a heavy fishy aftertaste. This is starting to become less and

less worth the trip. Well, okay, so a stalegue, meaning an egg from the previous season, right? Okay. With stale. So another eater, quote, an overripe mere egg is something never to be forgotten. It requires about three months to get the taste out of the mouth. Wow. So when you eat one that has been around for a while, it's oddly really. It's very fishy. Yeah. It's weird that it's fishy. Stale met the eggs hadn't hatched when they should have. So the eggers now want to avoid collecting stale eggs. Yeah, of course. So when they first arrived in May, they would go up the cliff and smash all the eggs that were there. A brave technique. That was an amazing face. That's just amazing. Okay, so they would just go up there. Committed egg aside. Yeah, they would smash

all the eggs so they wouldn't get any stale ones. By the way, that's just good relations with the birds if they're around for them to be like, we can trust these things, whatever they are. They're our friends. This way the next day, when they climbed up, they would only be freshly lit eggs. Oh, wow. Wow. Pretty cool, right? Really, really cool. Yeah. Go man. The eggs became an important source of protein for the gold miners and therefore had a high price. A buck a dozen. Okay. That's pretty good. Sometimes all the way up to a dollar for an egg. Wow. The higher the price, the more people wanted to come to the fair lines and the more eggs were removed. Right. Of course. Quote, they were sort of the other gold in the gold rush. Lucky fucking birds, right? Yeah. Because there

was so much money to be made in the egg game, people began fighting over the eggs. Sure. In 1851. So really, we've never, while we're not sperm any longer, we're pretty much the same. Yeah, nothing just a bunch of dumb dudes like give me that egg. Yeah, pretty much mine. In 1851, six men sailed to the fair lawns and declared themselves owners by right of possession. Hey, it's ours because we're here. Next. Who's got a question next? We're in charge. Just people are the worst. The power of now. Well, I'm here. All right. Here's the deal. We're a monarchy. I'm the king. Okay. I mean, it's just literally like how kids pretend now. It's fucking seriously. I'm in charge of everything and you're my number two. Oh, yeah. So they now claim exclusive rights

to the nesting grounds. And they had created a company called the Pacific Egg Company. Perfect. Perfect. Now they're usually around 15 or 30 men that arrived when the birds started laying the eggs from the Pacific Egg Company. They came in little rowboats, which is borderline insane. If you understand the San Francisco Bay Area, they took, shipped and sold the eggs. 600,000 eggs were now being taken a year. Wow. Good Lord. Quite a turnaround. Well, for the birds, they're like, oh, it's an apocalypse. Oh, for the birds. They're like, oh, we used to have babies, right? Now they just keep eating them. Journalist Gary Kamayeh quote, these were rough-necked guys, waterfront types, climbing up and pushing eggs into their special egg pockets in their egg shirts. What's

the egg shirts? Oh my God, the man looks like a human potato. So it's like he's got a... It's like he's got a beorn of eggs. Yeah, it's like a beorn of eggs, but he's also got a basket on his shoulder. But yeah, in his shirt, his shirt just looks like he's pretending to be a pregnant lady. Yeah. Then that's all full of eggs. Wow. Well, he looks happy. Oh my God, how happy. Looks happy. At the same time, ships were still crashing on the pheromones. Sorry, you mean restaurants were opening. Restaurants and hospitals were crashing into the pheromones. Yes, thank you. It's much better. The US government appropriated the islands to build a lighthouse. Okay. Construction supplies could not be landed by boat. Oh my God. So the stones for the lighthouse were taken from the

island itself. Perfect. Workmen crawled up the hill with the bricks on their backs. Okay. This went on for a few days until the workers refused to continue. Okay. And a mule was brought out to the island. Mules can't speak English. But they love it. Oh yeah. Mules love caring stuff. Yes. There was immediate tension between the lighthouse construction workers and the egg company men. Okay. Yeah, I mean probably different goals. The government didn't recognize the egg companies claim but still let them continue to take the eggs. Okay. So this is where, right. They were like, you can still pretend and call yourself a company but we're in charge. Well, that means a lot. Yeah, that's right. Thank you so much. As long as things didn't get out of control,

the government's like, all right, just take the eggs. Right. Plus it's doing a service, right? Yeah, major service. Yeah, it's cleaning up all the birds. Thank you. Yeah. At the same time, the egg company owners didn't think the government had a claim to the island. As far as they were concerned, it was their island because they were there. Because they said ours. They said dibs. Yeah, they said dibs or mine. Mine, right. Mine. When the lighthouse was finished, they put the lens in which had been made in Spain. They got like the biggest, brightest light possible but it didn't fit. Perfect. That's, well, listen, I mean, that's one of those things that if right now you buy something that doesn't fit,

you're like, this is impossible. We did do that with a Hubble telescope. That's true. But even then, it wasn't like this level of work. I'm sure it was like the deflation you feel when you're like, no, it doesn't fit. You're not putting together an Ikea dresser. You know how many times they try to put it in? Oh, the amount of times. Jimmy, let me have it. Let me have a shot. All right. All right. Here, try. But try. Don't flip it too hard. We can't crack it. Damn it. Fuck, it's got to get in there. I want to try actually. I have a new idea. What? I'm going to spit in it. What? I just want to try. Okay. I just want to spit all over it and then push, try to. This sounds like something else is going on. Okay, stop it. Hey, man. Hey.

Guys, help. Jimmy, what are you doing? I think if we spit in there, there's no way it doesn't fit. If we spit in it, I'm out of spits. So they had to knock the lighthouse down and rebuild it. Oh my God. Why? How is that? Because it didn't fit. They needed it to fit. But you have to, every part has to go down if that one component doesn't fit. Maybe they just took off the top. It's still. When it was done, four men were stationed on the island as lighthouse keepers. Okay. And they had to deal with aggressive Eggers. Eggers were now supposed to have a license, but none of them did. Sure. So there's tension between the. The Eggers and the Lighters. The Lightman. Right. Let me see. Let me take a picture of the lighthouse. Oh, yeah. So,

you know, the way I assume, I assume they just had to take off the top. Okay. But yeah. Or, you know, or the. I think the top would be the only part that you, from my brief expertise. Yeah. And you're an expert. Yeah. Of course. As far as the Pacific Egg Company, were concerned that all the other Eggers obviously thought it was bullshit that the company had claimed the island as their own. So the other guys keep going out to get eggs too. Sure. Fuck them. Egging season two became full of violence. This is just the way that how we work constantly is we find, we find a natural resource. We immediately get greedy as shit. We try to just take all of it. Someone tries to like impose

some sort of like legality to it. Yeah. And then there's just like generations of us just killing each other over it. Yeah. And then the whole time you're like, this is such a dumb, this is not how nature should work. It's exactly how nature should work. No. So one local said May to July. What do they got their gold flakes? It's all move here and look for gold. What do they got over their eggs? Let's all go over there and grab eggs. One local said May to July became quote an annual naval engagement known as the egg war. Rival gangs were constantly getting into fights on the island. Dave, these ran from just threats and throwing of seashells at each other to stabbings and gunfights. I mean, Dave, I can't.

I just can't. I can't. I can't. You're done. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. That's stabbing. It's like. And each year we get worse. Like it didn't just start with guns. Like it started with. No, of course. No, like any other conflict. It's like it starts small. Then eventually someone's like, well, you know what? Last year we stabbed him. I'm gonna start shooting people at the egg parade. Sometimes the gangs would battle for weeks on the island. Well, and whenever these battles were going on, Sam just go and experience an egg drought. I mean, really the best thing for the birds is that all the people are fighting each other. Yes, but still not good for the birds long term, but for the temporary time, sure. Many times soldiers

or police were sent out to calm things down. We're egg PD. We got a complaint of some stabbings coming on over here. And what's going on? We realize you guys are obviously it's the shells versus the yolks again, but we wanted to talk to you guys, make sure there's no real violence going on. A lot of people seem like they're dead up here. Yeah, there's not a lot of violence. I stabbed that guy. Okay, for the last time, but that's just like for the last time, you guys cannot be stabbing each other. Okay, so now let's open the police department here. Right. So that's so that guy took my eggs. Look, I understand. So I put a hole in them. Yeah, I understand. Right? Yeah, that's like what you do. Hey, do you know island rules? You guys

are island rules. I'm the detective. I'm the detective. Did you hear that? Yeah, I'm the detective. Yeah, no, I got it. You got the little let me show you on the card. Look at that. Yeah, you see that? Yep. I can read. Yeah, that's a DET EGG. Yeah, no, I see it. Div. All right. So that's you got the leg badge, I get the leg badge, then our hats, we got little egg things. Yeah, so this flashlight when I put that flashlight, let's not look like that. Just straight up circle. Yeah, like an egg. Yeah, it's an egg. So, so listen, we don't give a shit, right? Like we don't, we don't respect your authority. We don't acknowledge your authority. See, the thing about it, the thing about egg island is it's, it's egg rules. No, no, you're drunk. You've stabbed. I

am drunk. This is where birds live. All right. And I'm the chief. Okay, now. What? I don't know. I work with the shells. I gotta tell you, this is the worst cosplay I've ever been involved in. Pretty good. So, soldiers or police would go out to calm things down and when they kicked the eggers off the island, the gangs would often go hide in sea caves instead of going back to the city. In all those jagged cliffs, there's all these caves. Right. So they get kicked off and then they just go. This island that once just housed bird families is now has cave egg lunatics. Yeah, that's right. Just hiding in it. And then when the cops would leave and they'd like pass by, they would just go back to the island. Sounds like the cops were really good too. Quote,

one tenacious group steered their boat inside Great Muir Cave and remained there for two days during which they were drizzled nonstop with guano. So they just somehow got their boat in a cave and then waited two days and just got shit on the whole time? Shit on the whole time, yeah. It's worth it. It sounds worth it. And it wasn't just happening on the islands. Boats carrying eggs were now being hijacked. Wow. Essentially egg pirates were looking between the islands. What? That's right. I make beard. They would wait for the boats to come off the island. That's the better play. Yeah, that is the better. Do you guys have a good haul? Yeah, it was all right. All right, give us everything. Kill them. No, they're egg pirates. There were, according to the San Francisco

Examiner, quote, many a bitter and fatal encounter between large parties of rival claimants in boats mounting small cannons. I just love how throughout our entire history, no matter what is coveted, we will just kill each other over it endlessly. And then once it's done or normalized, we'll be like, what's the next resource forever, forever? The rivalries spilled into the San Francisco courts, who now had to deal with a bunch of egg related cases, which included charges of petty larceny trespassing property damage resisting an officer and manslaughter. I mean, egg island is a crazy place. On top of all this, it was a very dangerous job. The Eggers had homemade crampons on their boots that were made of crampons. So isn't that what you take when you have menstrual

pain? No, first of all, you don't take crampons. Oh, you get crampons. Oh, but crampons are like you can dig them into the rock. Oh, right, right, right. Like a shoe that has like a, you know, extra digger, a digger digger. Yeah. But in this case, they were just using nails, nails, made out of ropes and rusted nails. Yep. So here's a kind of cliff. Oh my God. Accidents and injuries were common. I mean, this is like, like free solo on the Oscar last year for basically, like, that's essentially they are just free climbing for eggs. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's crazy. Oh, yeah. I didn't even think about that. I think they could have had ropes like coming. Well, they certainly don't. Yeah, they don't at all. No, they're just like, all right, well, most likely,

we died for breakfast again. So accidents were common in 1858, the daily Alta California quote, an egg or missed his hold while robbing a gold's nest over the edge of a precipice and falling was dashed to pieces on the rocks below. Put that in a paper today. Please. Dashed to pieces is a horrible description of death. Yeah. You hear what happened? Jeff got dashed to pieces. Holy shit, you gotta be kidding me. Yep. He's the best egg man I knew. He almost got an egg too. Oh, dammit. The lighthouse keepers were also not paid well at all. So at some point, they realized they should be running eggs to San Francisco and making some money. Good. So finally, it's spread everywhere. Everybody wants a piece. In 1858, a new head lighthouse keeper arrived. His

name was Amos Clift. He wasn't like the other keepers. All he cared about was getting eggs. All right. He wrote letters to his brother in which he said how miserable he was on the fair lawns and how he wanted total egg domination. Jesus Christ. Quote, before I came here, this egg company used to have things all their own way. But since I have been here, things have taken a turn and they have ascertained that I am not as easily bluffed. I think it will now be settled and the egg company driven off the island. So he's essentially a poacher. He's, I mean, I guess he's a poacher. In a way. I mean, as far as how he wants to prepare his eggs. Well, he's just like a dictator, an egg dictator. Sure. Clift figured since it was

government land and he was a government employee, the eggs were his. Again, I mean, what was laws deal back then? Law was just like, hey, I'm going to take a knee for a little while. You guys, I'm going to take 20 years off from being a thing. Just do whatever. Okay, while I'm gone, whoever stabs the other group the most kind of wins. All right, bye. Law's gone for a while. He said after he'd made all his money, quote, the government might kiss my foot and so up along. Yeah, kiss his foot and so up along. Up along. Up along. Up along the leg, I think. Huh? You say and suck his dick. Oh, I think so. Kiss my foot and suck my dick. I think that's a way of saying that's right. I'm going to start saying that. Well, why don't you kiss my foot and suck my

dick? You get insulted, insulted by you. That same month, the daily out to California reported the egg company was, quote, breaking up the government roads and had drawn lines and pasted up notices warning the lighthouse keepers not to pass them on pain of death. Okay. So it's getting real. Kicked up a notch. They are now threatening the lighthouse guys are now enemies. The egg company is now threatening the lighthouse guys with death. Are those all eggs? Yeah, that's a pilot. Oh my God. The constant fighting hurt lighthouse operations. Still, the US government did nothing to kick the eggers off the island or stop the violence that was happening. Local authorities begged the feds to get involved, but the people in DC did not

understand how much of a problem the situation was becoming. So DC was just a different place back then just full of people who didn't understand the problems with other societies. Yeah. I'm so glad that we live in a different time. Yeah, it's nice to live in a democracy. Yeah. Lighthouse keepers found themselves caught in a crossfire between rival gangs. In May 1860, a gun toting group took over the islands and forced the keepers to leave. Clifft wrote quote, we are now in the midst of egg season and the egg company and light keepers are at war. But after being kicked off the island, Clifft never returned to his post. He was removed for quote, the under assumption to monopolize the valuable privilege of collecting eggs. So they knew he was. They found out. Right,

okay. He was probably talking a lot. Sure. He seems to be the kind of guy that talks a lot about the egg king. When you live in a lighthouse and you get a minute to talk to someone, you let her rip. Hi, call me the egg king. Hey, it's me. I've been out in the lighthouse all day. I just wanted to eat a sandwich. And that was a big highlight of the morning. Okay. Yeah, I gotta go. Okay. Bye. I'll bring out my puppets. Nope. The Pacific egg company was made up of Americans. There were also a group of Italian born fishermen who are not happy about the egg company. Okay. To Italian immigrants, right? Uh huh. Not happy about the egg company. Sure. The Italians have been given access to the islands by the US topographical engineers. Are they allowed to

give that? I guess so. They're like, we're topographers. Can we maybe go to the island? Yes, it's yours. Yep. Yep. So because of this, the Italians weren't going to cede control to the egg company. They also hated corporations and what they, and what corporations were allowed to get away with. So weird. Coming from Italy, they'd, you know, they'd been a lot of turmoil. Right, right. And so they're like, well, these fucking guys, this is not good. The Italians were poor immigrants. And this was a way to survive getting the exit way to survive, not like the rich guys just making money by sending out laborers and doing to do a dangerous job. Yeah. So also around this time, tons of Italians in California were giving to fund to help Giuseppe Garibaldi or

Geribaldi, Garibaldi, Garibaldi unite the areas that would become Italy. So Italy is right now a bunch of different separate things and this guy is going to go in. So a lot of Californians were tons of money was coming from California for the cause. Okay. So the egg company then files a suit in court against the Italian fishermen. Okay. And the judge ruled, quote, against the Italians who being in part possession refused to obey the summons. Okay. So they're on part of the island, but they refused to leave it and they refused to obey. It's an Italian standoff. That's, I think that's what it's called. Meatball. Sure. A big, a spicy meatball. I think that's what it's called. Really good. In June 1860, the Daily Alpha reported the chief of police of San

Francisco, Burke, sent two officers to arrest the leaders of the Italians who were on the island. Okay. Quote, they found two parties armed to the teeth in possession of two parts of the island and breathing defiance against each other. Okay. So things have evolved. Yeah. So they've each staked out their area and they're, and they're holding each other off and, you know. And again, this is over X. This is about a, it's really about a good breakfast. Right. It's about a healthy, nutritious breakfast. The officers tried to serve the writ, but the Italians weren't having it. They managed to arrest three of the Italians, quote, the rest vowing that they were ready for a fight and would rather be shot down than be arrested. That's how you do it. That's how

you make a stand on Egg Island. I believe from what I read that those are the Italian guys. Okay. So they're ready to die for the egg cause. So in other words, trying to end this war, it's not going to go over easy. Yeah. Right. There were not enough cops to deal with the situation. So the two cops returned to San Francisco with their, the three men they had captured and explained to the chief what was going on. I'm sorry. What the hell's going on? Chief, let's just give us a second. So these three Italian gentlemen are now the three largest suspects we have in the egg case. And again, there is murder going on on the island. I'm sorry. There's a lot of murder going on at the island over eggs. People love, I don't know if you've

tried omelettes. Have you tried omelettes? Yeah, I've had it. Have you had a crepe? Yeah, I've done it. It's like a thinner, a quiche exactly. Yeah. So there's so. No, I don't. No, I mean, you say exactly. Eggs are so fucking good. Yeah, but I wouldn't kill anybody over eggs. Well, then do not go to this island cause they will literally kill you. I've seen a man just gorded on a log like his skull just completely penetrated by wood because he was trying to take some of these eggs. And here's the thing, some of these eggs, they stink like fish. So I don't even know what's going on. Anyway, the body counts at about 800, 800 dead. It's not fine. So the three men were charged with egg crimes, petty larceny for stealing eggs. Okay. The next

day, Chief Burke and a posse headed for the Fair Lawns with and the remaining 11 Italians were arrested without violence. So they learned when Bush came to shove, they were like, all right, we don't need to die over eggs. Right. But this was just a civil case, which apparently the Italians didn't understand. Well, Dave, how do they not fathom our laws? The daily outlet quote, the case is merely a civil suit filed by Mr. Felton and not the district attorney being employed against the Italians. The same charge could have been made by the other side and the arrests made in the opposite direction. The dodge gives the enemy several days of harvesting, which they could not otherwise have enjoyed. So it's immigrants come to the

country, they don't know, they don't know the laws, they don't know the rules. And then these rich guys are like your immigrants. Yeah. And so the Italians don't know that they can go to court and have them all arrested also. Right. So the fighting, yeah, it's cool. The fighting intentions continued for the next three years. The Italian group led at one point, we're led by a man named David Batchelder. Now, so the Italians are still going back. Well, I'm wondering, because the guy's name is Batchelder. So I'm wondering if other people have now joined up with the Italians. It's not really an Italian name. Right. Well, it's also like, I don't know where like, you're not going to be like, send word back to Italy, be like, come, come, it's a really good, you know,

you're gonna be like, no, we're in jail. Well, not in jail, but we're in trouble. I get it. Yeah. So, yeah, so the time's just still going on. Now, this guy, this guy, David Batchelder keeps leading what are essentially like rates, like he's trying to get back on the island. Sure. In the spring of 1863, an army of Italian fishermen under Batchelder headed for the pherolons, which they intended to seize from the egg company. But every time they went out, they were stopped by the U.S. Revenue Cutter Service. Oh, Cutter Service? Well, you know about the Cutter Service, right? Our armed customs enforcement service that was run by the Treasury and apparently had boats. And it eventually became the Coast Guard. But it sounds like it took a

minute to become the Coast Guard. Yeah, for a little while, for like, maybe 100 years. For a little while, they were just like, we're the aquatic stabbing machines. They were customs enforcement, but you know, but they were like military. We're really enforcing. Yeah, we're not fucking around. Yeah, right. They're like the ice of eggs. That's right. Right. So anyway, the Revenue Cutter Service arrested the Italians and took their weapons. But the Italians would keep coming back. Wow. Well, they're also like they're fucking immigrants and they know that they can make money and there's food out there. But this is sort of the same bunch of people? Yeah, I believe so. Wow, okay. They wanted to be able to take

from neg esting grounds or like we want to be able to... Sure, we want to be able to disrespect the land as much as you guys do. Yeah, I mean, essentially, you're talking like, why would these guys be allowed to just have nature and own it? I think that's what they're saying. Right. That it seems to me. Right. I don't know what the government situation is in Italy or what, like public, private ownership and all that. But there's always been a weird thing to me, like the first guy that got to a lake gets to own it. You're like, well, how's that work? Yeah. So they go out there on June 23rd, 1863. And they eat at night, three boats full of 27 armed fishermen, Italian guys arrive at the pherolons and drop anchor. Okay. They even have

a cannon on one of the boats. Oh my Lord. And the fishermen then just started drinking, as did the egg company workers on the shore. So I mean, literally you are in an era where you're like, if we do it at night, they won't have any idea what's going on. There's people like, no, no, you get shitfaced. You can't do it at night. So they get really drunk and they start yelling at each other, yelling threats. The Italians also get really drunk. The Italians are drunk on the boats. The egg company guys are drunk on the shore. You would think like from a tactical standpoint, we'd be like, and tonight, let's not a drink. What? I'm a kitty! I brought it all the way! I gotta get a rake! At one point, the egg company foreman yelled, quote, land at your

pherol. Okay. And bachelor yelled back, quote, I'll land in spite of hell. Jesus Christ. Okay, that's a good, that's a good one. I'll land in spite of hell. What did he say back? Honestly, his response has me a little nervous. I wasn't expecting him to back down, but I mean, they totally seem ready to die. In the morning, the Italians got into rowboats and headed for the shore. The egg company men started shooting at them. The Italians returned fire, including with their cannon on the boat. What? The birds are like, we might move! This is bad! I think there's another island. The fighting went on for 20 minutes. The first person hit was Edward Perkins, an egg company man. He was shot in the stomach. Several, several others were wounded by musket

balls. At least five Italians were shot before the fighting ended, and the Italians headed back to their boats. Okay. Edward Perkins died. An Italian had been shot through the throat, and he died a few days later. Arrests were soon made for murder. Bachelder turned himself in while others were arrested. Their bail was $5,000 each, which is pretty much back then. I mean, five grand, you're not getting out of jail. But they just, like in my head, I still have been trying to pin down exactly legally what laws this island follows, because it's like, of course, it's within the zoning of America, so it's like it's going to have their laws. But for some reason, these guys are like, if you're on an island, it's Lord of the Flies rules. So we literally could

just kill anyone we want over eggs. Yeah. I mean, remember, there's also a time when you can stake a claim and like, you know what I mean? Yeah. But even now, there's no legal owners. It's just it is. It's a bunch of children just being like, yeah, it's ours. We're here last. I planted the flag. I called fives. Yeah. Yeah. Bachelder would be found guilty of murder, but was then released on a technicality. Right. He did it over eggs. That's right. So he can go. Yeah, there's actually, there's actually egg loophole. He really wanted the eggs. It's called an egg hole. The government finally realized it had an actual problem on its hands after the murders. Hey, all right. But with all that egg money to be made and it being a source of protein for the city,

instead of just shutting down egging on the pheromones, the government came up with another solution. Well, the daily alpha quote, we learn that the government to the annual egg controversy has taken steps to lease out the property to the highest bidder, of course, that the secretary of the interior having given instructions to the collector of this port, bids will be opened at three o'clock today. If this, if correct, will be apt to bring this interminable war to a speedy conclusion. So it's literally two days after the shooting. And they're like, we need cool, calm leadership to figure out what to do next. We will sell it to the richest person. That's right. But because capitalism will solve everything will work. Yeah. So obviously, the bidding war is

something the poor Italian immigrants cannot afford. Right. But a company backed by wealthy men can run the Pacific egg company won the bid and now had a government backed monopoly over the egg trade on the Feralon Islands. And so finally, the American dream fully takes hold. The breeding grounds of the seabirds would continue to be plundered. But the once vigorous mirror colony had been decimated. That meant fewer eggs were being harvested. This is just what we do. So profits are going down because for some reason, I don't know what like, I don't know what happened, but the profits are. No, let's just go suck all the resources and when it's a husk be like, why? What happened? How do you think? Well, being a corporation, the Pacific egg company looked

for other ways to take care of that profit margin. Right. Start eating human babies. And soon it was turning seals and sea lions into oil. Oh, no. What is your problem? What? What? There's a bigger. What the fuck, dude? Let's can we just make a deal that from now on, I'll let this one slide. But from now on, no more, no more oil animal stuff. Okay. It like combines and conflates all of my fears and my anxieties into one enormous like, well, you know what we'll do for the climate? We'll take animals from earth and use them to pollute. No. If you don't know why Gareth upset, you've never heard the penguin episode of Macquarie Island that we did in Australia with Will Anderson. Spoiler, it's oily.

It's what I call spoily. So now on the fair lawns. So they're just doctor suicing these sea lions into like some weird, you know, corporateist contraption that's just cubing them into oil. Well, now on the fair lawns, there were vats of boiling blubber and piles of seal and sealant bodies covered by flies. Okay. So, well, that should be the flag. That's what our flag should be. I mean, that's what our flag should be. All right. Jessica Gingrich of Smithsonian magazine, quote, this unsanctioned action filled the air with the stench of burning flesh and a thick cloud of smog that obscured the lighthouse signal. See, it all just was because of eggs. It all started because of eggs, but then eventually we're like, well, that sucks. I guess we'll just juice

these animals. That's right. The lighthouse keepers were not thrilled. The egg company became more combative. They demanded the fog horn be removed because it was scaring away the birds. So safety first. But the horn was pretty important when it came to warning ships. Yep. Then the company, the egg company, forbid lighthouse keepers from taking eggs that they were just eating themselves. So the lighthouse keepers are not getting paid a lot and they're just going out and taking an egg and eating it, which is really the only time where you go, okay. Yeah. A guy just trying to crack an egg and sure. Yeah. So they are forcing them to stop that, which have been going, they've been eating the eggs since the lighthouse was built and it

was important for them because they had low salaries. An assistant lighthouse keeper was not having it and he went down to collect eggs and he was attacked by the egg company men and pushed over an embankment. There's nobody, there's one, like they are the eggs of a bird. Those are my eggs. Yeah, go my eggs. Yeah. That's the egg company set up. Finally, the government had had it with the egg company. I know, right? Yeah, it's out of context. Real bizarre. So the government was sick of the egg company. They had killed enough people on Egg Island. On May 23, 1881, the US military forcibly evicted the Pacific egg company from the Feralon Islands. So the military. Yep. Okay. Only one guy, L.S. Wood, seemed to be upset about it

from the egg company. He wrote an affidavit for an inevitable court case that everything was great on the island and everyone was actually getting along. He said even the birds had become accustomed to the fog horn. All was well. But this was just because he had been living on the island for 14 years and wanted to stay. So he was the caretaker of that little setup place that they had out there. Okay, right. The other egg company men were thrilled to leave because the other guys were like probably one-time workers that would go out for two months and just make their egg money and then never go back because they'd be like, well, that's a shit job. Right. One wrote, quote, we steamed away from the windy rocks, the howling caverns, and the

sealing waves, the frightful chasms. Joyfully, we bounded over the glassy waves that grew beautiful as the Feralons faded in the misty distance and having been. Did this dude just find out about the word misty that day? Also, I love the word misty. And having men courteously escorted to the city dock were bitten farewell and left to the diversions of the hour. Thus ended the last siege of the egg pickers of Frisco. The company men were left with all their possessions at the end of Broadway Street. After 30 years of fighting, this was the official end to the egg war. But the lighthouse keepers and independent fishermen kept taking the eggs in the summer. The government allowed the lighthouse keepers to bring their wives and kids to live on the island.

Okay. One guy had a couple of girls under seven, which must have been really great for the girls. Yeah, I'm sure that's great. They're like, hey, and we'll just eventually make up our own language and go crazy together. I mean, it's a fucking terrifying place. So this is how they got between islands. Oh, so it's pretty simple. Like a rope. Yeah, no, it's just a pulley where yeah, that seems pretty. They call that a bridge. Yeah, that seems pretty straightforward and fun. And then after all this, chickens became farmable in California. A successful poultry industry kicked off in Petaluma, 38 miles north of San Francisco. Someone had figured out a way to keep them alive. And that was to let them free range and keep moving them from place to place so they could eat

and keep, you know, like a chicken would do in. It's natural. If a chicken could actually be in nature, how it would act, right? Yes. Okay, I'll get on my soapbox and I'm going to keep going. So they did that. So it turns out the reasons that the chickens were dying is because they were keeping them in pens and then they had to feed them and then they could get sick easily. Give them a quality of life. So now they have a quality of life. So Petaluma becomes a huge chicken farming area. So this stops diseases from killing them. They use the environment for food. Chicken eggs become plentiful and the demand for mirror eggs drops as does the price. Soon the mirror eggs were selling for five cents a dozen. Wow. But the mirror on the fair lines,

fair lawns were now devastated. Over 10 million eggs have been taken over the years. Mures only lay one or two eggs a year. The annual egg collection was now down to 60,000 a year when it had started at 600,000 a year. In 1854, the birds were making over 500,000 eggs a year. In 1896, it was down to 91,000. Wow. It became less and less profitable to steal the mirror eggs, but still some eggers kept at it. The mirror situation came to the attention of a scientist with the California Academy of Sciences named Leverett M. Lewis and he started a campaign to stop the egging and got the lighthouse board to ban it. The fair lawns are now used by scientists to observe bird and animal life and to track the recovery of species on the island. Today the fair

lawn islands are home to a seabird sanctuary with a thriving but still recovering. Still recovering. Still recovering. It's still way not even close to what it was. That's just crazy. Mirror population. Trying to recover species is a huge and sometimes daunting task. We are still only at a quarter of the pre-Gold Rush common mirror numbers. I mean, this did take them to the brink of extinction. Are you waiting on that? No. So sources for this, main sources were when California went to war over eggs by Jessica Gingrich on Smithsonian Magazine, a website. Susan Casey wrote The Devil's Teeth, the true story of obsession and survival among America's great white sharks.

And then Eva Crissanth has a blog called Garibaldi and the Fair Lawn Egg War. So the reason why this episode is because a lot of people don't really understand what is meant by a Green New Deal and what people are talking about when they say we have to change everything. So if the Italian immigrants had a social safety net and if the corporations didn't exist to plunder, then this wouldn't be an issue. So when you talk about saving the environment but you just think about, well, you saved the island, but that's not it. You have to take care of people to stop the plunder and the destruction. And one of the main most destructive things is capitalism. It's guys going out there taking the eggs to make money as opposed to people going out

there and getting a right amount of eggs to let the population survive, but also feed people. It's working within balance of... Well, the truth is that when you look at the way we harvest animals and things, I just always think of the way that people fight. They're trying to take your burgers. It's like, well, guess what? In this scenario of yours, you lose your burgers either way. Either you create the boogeyman who's taking all your burgers right now, which is really someone saying like, hey, you don't get to have burgers all the time or we need to figure out a new way to farm. Or you will have no burgers. That will come true because eventually it will be so unsustainable. And when you're talking about a free range, truly this simplicity

would like, if you were to be a little less, I guess, penny-wise dollar foolish, what you would do, what most farmers want to do and what actual farmers do who don't practice factory farming is they have the animals and they move the animals. So they let the animals graze and take over a patch of land. And once that land is done, they have a new patch of land and they go move them and then another land where they used to be that they ruined, regrows and stabilizes. And then you keep doing that. So you basically have like three sections where you just keep moving these animals. Well, if you don't do that, it's sure it's cheaper. It's cheaper for your business because you keep them in pens or you don't really do much with them. But at the end of the day, again,

we are talking about a time like you're saying where none of it can happen. Right. Yeah. And our relationship with the environment and our relationship, the way that capitalism just takes it over is just going to be the term laid on our tombstone when it's all said and done. And you think about this exact circumstance. Well, the reason that they had to go out to the almond to take all the eggs and decimate the population was because they didn't realize they just let chickens free range. They would be fine. Like they could have done that 50 years before and it would have been fine. Well, the answer is that nature knows better. Yeah. Nature knows better. And they were trying to put chickens in pens and have them in a city

and guess what? It doesn't work. But it's also very similar to how we overharvest oceans now. Like there are sustainable ways. There are places in the ocean where they've been able to, like they've decimated the population of a fish and then they go, well, here's what we do. We now actually, you're unable to catch tuna of this size. So if you catch a tuna of this size, that tuna goes back and you wait. But because it's like, no, demand, demand, demand, people will take out the smaller tuna and the smaller fish and then there's no younger generation. And then again, you are like actually there's less fish that you're actually getting because of... Yeah. And then also dragging the seafloor. Basically what we're doing to the earth is

exactly what we did to the pherolons. Yeah. Basically what we're doing to earth is like, if you walked in hammered to a New Year's party at 1130 and just like went to town on the buffet, spilled the booze everywhere, like punched a couple people, you're just there for like no time and the party was fine before you showed up. But we're just like, I pissed in the punch. It's like, well, now there's no... We can't have... The fuck. We're like, hey, like on the calendar of existence, man has been there for like half a day of the year. Yeah. Totally. It still showed up at the end like, I think we can get the cops here in 30 minutes. Yeah. Anyway, good times. Yeah, no, obviously this is the energy you want to leave stuff with. If you haven't seen Okja,

that's a good movie to... Oh, the tears that ran down my face for Okja. And then go watch Parasite. Parasite. Same guy. Same guy. It's fucking genius. Parasite is genius. Parasite is genius. Yeah. All right. All right. Hope everybody enjoyed themselves. We signed eggs. We signed eggs. Oh, by the way, I don't eat those anymore. I'll try your... Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. Vagan. All right. We signed... Gobble, gobble, everybody. Happy Thanksgiving.