The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 41 - The Past Times with Lee Camp

Episode Date: September 1, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Lee Camp Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date, history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Lee Camp, hello Lee. Hey, thanks for having me. Thank you for having us. That's how we view this. You're having us.

Big fan, we should point out if people like podcasts, so people listening to this probably do. You have one with Graham L. Wood, friend of show, Graham L. Wood. Enemy of Dave Anthony, friend of show, Graham L. Wood called government secrets, which is great. And then you also do, you

said four live streams a week. The best place to go for that is just your Twitter, which is Atley Camp. And you're a great follow on social media, generally. You're like a, just find me atley camp and unfortunately everything I've ever done has been banned by YouTube. So I'm on rumble.com. We can't. Yes. I think, but you have a lot of like threads that'll go viral. You're like a very astute point maker. Unlike Dave, who's just, it's just a lot of. Let's do it. I'm a, I'm an out of control cannon.

That's how I would describe it. Yes, someone made a machine gun out of a cannon. And that's Dave. Ah. Ah. Um, hey, we've all got our place in the revolution okay Jesus Christ so Lee we're gonna go through a newspaper I normally like to have a guess at what year and I sometimes feel like Dave

Cater's into the guest I feel like he'll do that this week so sometimes feel like Dave Cater's into the guest. I feel like he'll do that this week. So I feel like maybe we'll be doing a fairly recent one. I feel like we'll probably go 73. Is one I think 73. 73, yeah, that's what I'm gonna guess. But you can go all the way back to 1600. Oh, so I can't just say seven. Like the year seven. You can, sure can't just say seven like the year seven you can you could say seven

i don't know what kind of news papers they have it was not good i mean i don't even think that paper it was more of a news tablet which we have now uh... uh... i don't know what was like eighteen fifty very possible it is it is seven uh... it's seven what the fuck we i'm sorry

yeah it's a row uh... no uh... it's eighteen ninety five wow there you go lee winds right now even by price of the rules providence roe island the Providence News

So the current news front page has ads this used to be a thing where they just do ads on the front page a lot Sounds like a podcast I found an ad here. I don't really I we don't usually read ads, but this one It's a picture of for do it's it's a drawing for fordudes and different suits. It's very reliable. Boys, we have to do tough enoughs. Twice a year, we do advertise the tough enough suits and then simply to announce that we are ready with the new spring and fall styles as the case may be. The rest of the year, they do their own advertising and right well it is done or live wide awake boys they are unquestionably the most wonderful suits ever invented wow there are no distinguishing marks on them in cut style and general appearance they are not

unlike other suits but for solid service their equal has not yet been produced six new lots medium and dark colors now ready gentlemen they are shorts it is a suit and a hat it is a suit up top and a bowler hat and then I swear to fucking god it is also a cape and a pair of shorts A cape With a somber van Helsing look that we all have aspired it is It is what we all need and want and what is the brand of suit called again? I think it's a type of Toughness tough enough tough enough

describing boys is wide awake is one of the most disturbing things i've ever heard all you wide awake really snuck that in there boys shivering up in the middle of the night for some reason uh... wow that's a solid ad and And this, these are art for boys, manly? I mean, yeah, no, I, the boys, I mean, they look like they have a mustache in the, in the, well, boys grew mustache as earlier back then, you know that, Dave. Okay. So it, so it doesn't say gender fluid on it.

No, it does not, There's no gender discussion. There's no agenda. There's no agenda, however. Right. I wish I could send you, I wish I could send it to you, but this doesn't allow me to. I have a bunch of my own drawings of that already up, so it's pretty easy for me to, I kind of know, talk about.

Yeah, but then it's more like a vision board, sort of stuff I've been dreaming about a lot, but what's going on? I don't know, yeah. I won't let you talk about it. I'm just sort of, oh've been dreaming about a lot, but what's going on? I don't know. Yeah, I won't let you just sort of open up which is really weird. I'm sharing. Well, when nobody likes it when you share like that, it gets uncomfortable for our guest. Wow. Liam, sorry, I have to apologize. I have to apologize for our, uh, I miss the times when they would advertise capes on the front of newspapers. I miss the better times. I wish shorts.

What is stopping us from bringing the sort of pedestrian cap back? Why are we not... I mean, it feels like a great time to be capin' around. I guarantee you every couple years in New York some guys like, you know what? I think I might... I'm sorry for us to bring the cap back. I might be I'm waiting for us to bring the cake back I might be to me it's the definition of a fancy lad it is a fancy boy a little I would say he has the body of me around that age

just nice and chubby and sort of wearing outfits far too tight he looks he looks a well fed little Watson. Yes he does he's a little well fed Watson yeah and who likes to show off the calves you know what I mean I mean the calves and the kids I don't know why it is it is better as having seen it that was a good call to show it because I am well I did really hit home for me there I mean that is really a wide awake fancy lad that is a fancy lad yeah all right boys all bankrupt the national bank of planefield loses twenty22,765. The money was stolen from the vault of Monday, Plainfield in the Jersey, the director of the First National Bank of Plainfield today, made public the theft of $22,765.

Cashier Frank Runean missed money when he went to close the bank for the day. It was in two packages. One containing 20,000 new bills ranging in value from one to a thousand. The other contained 27, 2765 in mutilated bills. I love a mutilated bill. Nothing like it. Yeah, I love it. That's when you go to the vending machine and you have to iron it out on it, right? That's a mutilated. That was a real problem in the 1890s. Yeah. Yeah. The bank were immediately questioned. The bank were immediately questioned. So that's got to be the bank employees. Sure. The bank were immediately questioned. And it was found that the noon hour,

at the noon hour, only two clerks had been at their posts. At the front of the bank, receiving deposits was David Runyon. Albert Vale, a clerk was one of the wickets. Absolutely. We have different, completely different terms now. He's a wicket. Cricket stuff. There's a lot of cricket going on in the bank as time goes. A stranger came in with a big sheet of paper on which was written a list of notes.

Well, this, why is this guy coming in third or fourth? Like, okay, this is a, this guy. The big list man. He, all scrolly. He engaged Vale in a conversation. It is thought the robbery was committed then The He had a list I feel like this newspaper is this is the outsourcing the investigation to the readers

We're gonna do boys. Here's what we're gonna do Gareth you go over the list all right right, you talk to the guy. Okay. Lee, you go in with another list. You talk to the other guy. I take all the money. Great. And get the mutilated bag. Where are your tough enoughs and throw some calf. Okay. Yeah. We'll go in with tough enoughs. We'll cap it up with some lists. Get those mutilated bills. Boom. Wow. So that is definitely what happened it was definitely list distractions. Yeah it was list distractions. And they just went

in. There was yeah there was a surge of list bank robbing. Yeah there was a lot of at some point. We're the litney boys I try again We've been robbed 18 times stop looking at the lists. I actually have a list of banks nearby that have been robbed I'd love to walk you boys through You fool I Have a list of ways we'll might rob this bank if you'd like to take a look at it a list of ways future robberies might occur Would be an interesting thing come closer gather round let's blueprint this

it big headline lost five thousand dollars why is that is that bigger than the big robbery uh... well you'll find out why it is actually it's the same size uh... a prominent merchant lost five thousand dollars in the oil flurry He wore a pair of 10 sent glasses and read his stock quotations wrong Our crystal spectacles and eyeglasses are perfection. You can be your son of a bitch. I had it clear with them Bastard non-better at any price branded marketing bullshit

That's really it's called a native ad Yeah, I don't care for it in there. Yeah, really was yeah, I Think oil flores is something that'll come back and I'd say the next 30 years to Oil flores Rrain oil oil flores There's kind of that's already what happens in our rain sure yeah Six killed collapse of an amphitheater The victims were smothered to death death in the big crowd Oh, it's in Mexico Leon Mexico by the collapsing of amphitheater, which surrounded a cockpit at the village of Puita,

six men have been killed and several wounded. The arena was crowded and the deaths were principally from suffocation. So they went to watch a cockpit. There was a huge amphitheater of people watching two chickens battle. Is this going to end up being an ad for a travel agency? You could have been down there. You should have been Mazatlan. Yeah, I also think that if you bury them together, that could also be a cockpit. So and I would like to point out that my alter ego is Leon Mexico.

It's my Carlos danger Carlos danger So we worry about you Garth Dave We're keeping it light and Leon I are having fun and then you're you're all tough enough on us work Can you just Guys could you could you ease up on your cock fight that's going on right now fair? Again, Lees right Dave

Let's not do this. And it was a cock discussion. Cocktucks. It was a cocktuck. I'm sure there's got to be a cocktuck podcast, right? There isn't. Dave, are we ready to take on a third? Cocktuck.

This is just a one sentence. are we ready to take on a third uh... uh... uh... this is just a one sentence sometimes they just have one sentence little blurbs in the paper providence has a new baseball team but so has brown university that's it can't tell if they're excited they feel threatened like they were like, we got a new team.

And they're like, oh, Brown has one. But they're giving it to everybody. But they're going to play them. They'll play each other. It's good that one. It's good when there's another team. Because if there's only one team, then it's not really baseball. I don't know.

It's an easy way to bring home the trophy every year. The assembly is asked. The assembly is asked to appropriate one thing. The assembly is asked to appropriate one thing. I don't know. It's an easy way to bring them the trophy every year. Think about it. The assembly is asked, the assembly is asked to appropriate $1,000 to investigate tuberculosis among Rhode Island humankind. And $25,000. What a weird way to say citizens of Rhode Island. You'll see why.

Human kind. road island you'll see why human kind and twenty five thousand dollars to investigate tuberculosis in road island cows this looks like favoritism to the cows i think that's biased reporting on it's a lot had a bit of a plan. This is written by Big Cow. This is, well, they're saying the, I think this is written by Big Human because they're saying the cows are getting more money

and that's unfair. They're saying fuck what I mean. Yeah, so against Big Cow. So it'd be the human industrial complex. You mean, if only we had some of that in the United States. Imagine, imagine, imagine if we had that. Oh, how fucking great would that be? I represent big human If they were just if there were just some lobbyists for humans in the Imagine what would we call a group of people who were human lobbyists?

Imagine Well, we'd have to kill them who were human lobbyists imagine ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha test tuberculosis in cows yeah this is a list while they're being robbed you see the list goes on oh this is uh... this is just uh... as to soulless corporations that's how this starts nice so this is for lea i like this paper this is my purpose

this is for lea this is supposed to ask huge, huge corporation guys. Yeah, hey, Dave, I think Lee works for Big Human. When we were boys, there was a bit of plaintive verse relating to an important task. That was won't go, oh boy. That was won't go to the rounds of the school and began like this. Is that a thing that was what?

Was that a turn of phrase that they had? Or is this guy asking? Have we slipped into poetry? Yeah, this just took on a bit of a scat vibe, suddenly. Yeah. This seems like a guy was walking around and he was like take Dictation I'm on a roll and write this down while I have a stroke

All right, so this so this was making the rounds and he was a kid verse It goes like this composition hateful, how it chills my feeble frame. Oh. So I think we are in poetry. Yeah, he was, he was, yes, we have no doubt that this couplet with the change of a word expresses the shuttering sentiments of our local and populistically inclined contemporaries. Who? It may be surmised, frequently murmur to themselves, corporation.

This guy. Okay, so yeah, he's taking a dig at the populace, I think. Who frequently murmur to themselves, corporation, hateful name, how it chills our feeble frame. And then the very next thing he says is, they are awful. So he's anti-apocalypse. He's trying to pick a lane a little bit with how he's making this point. It felt like poetry, diatribe poetry. So this is an ad for corporate. It's not an ad. I don't think it's not no I know I know it's not that but I'm it but it is it's not but it is Yeah, he's this is just what this is what you just when you run across people who are super pro corporation

You're like do you know what anything is? Yeah anything? I'm business so So and also this was the 1890s. So it's a little before some of the larger corporations. So he was clearly seen the future and he was like, look, corporations are not the problem, folks. They're not going to, they're not going to just want to use a pro-bus, just pro-nostication. There were definitely railroads where the big corporation at this point. Yeah, and coal and steel and stuff.

Yeah. They are awful. Very likely are corporations and such. Now is he anti-corporate? What's the hell? How did this end up in a paper? This guy is what I like to call a communicator. Yeah. The great Merker. But if we are going to be ruled at all, we don't know, but we would about as leaves have

the soulless chaps of the teleph, Jesus Christ. This guy is not a real. I'm going to time travel to go beat the shit out of this guy. So this guy is really like a I have a stroke every line That's how I write Between using the time trip to kill Hitler or kill this guy I mean, I know what I should do, but I'm gonna be hard pressed to not be like can we do one more journey? Yeah, a man a man just appears in front of him with a gun and he just goes it's pros

Last one. I Come back and you like the holocaust still happened. I'm like I couldn't resist. I had to I was so mad back I I was so mad and I'm in a tough enough, but also while I was there Some more boys Did you just go back and get a cape? I didn't even kill that guy, I just got us all those outfits Three tough enough, please Look, I did kill Hitler

But look what I got We could all wear them I'm pretty sure we can do spells now boys and I robbed four banks The paper doesn't change at all. What did you do? I just got these outfits. I Can't I just got the odd is Lee Okay, so the Solus Chaps of the telephone company and the wicked men who manage the electric light company sure and those particularly stone-hearted fellows who are said to ride rough shod about town and carry us along to thank goodness for that. Anywhere we want to go for five cents, the Union Railroad Company.

Jesus Christ. Is this like a evil man's attempt at satire? So with the sense. I know, I think he is anti-corporation, but he's so bad at writing that we thought that he was pro-corporation. So it is satire-ish. I know. I think it's just a bad writer. Yeah, it's satire. Then it's real bad. I think he might be in that corporation because he said the evil, the evil railroad company that takes us wherever we want to go. Yeah, right. He's mocking people who are against the railroad company. Okay. Okay. Um, yeah, okay, yeah, I think you're right. Boss us about as to be ruled by Councilman Vose, for instance, or by our esteemed friend

Billy Knight, or even take our chances with face. This is nuts. Under, under a limited monarchy conducted by Jim Burtick with the Hollywood music. How do you play music to tell someone to leave in an article? That's what should be happening right an orchestra should be swelling Did you accidentally grab an 1895 madlib? Yeah, honestly And the print and the paper was like yeah, yeah, put it yeah get it in there Because he's the owner. That's why I got in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, just as op head above.

We're like, what is this? We are of the opinion that lots of folk in this world would know a heap and like to tell you all they know about sewing wood who are particularly mentally incapable of working a buck saw. Yeah, that's it. So he's, you're right. He's got, he's getting down his point, which is now like, shut the fuck up. You dumb woodworkers. Yeah, this is, I know how to run a corporation.

We prefer the chap who can handle the saw and we'll take our chance of getting our share of the wood pile. Well, we'll be getting you share of the wood pile. Wait, now this turned into a gay classified, I think. I think he had every section of the paper. Yeah, that was, that was really crazy. Like, you know, no more, no more editor stuff for you. You're done. Let's just stick to the stories.

No, yeah. Yeah. Hey there, people listening to the dollop. This is Garif. Yes, this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't,

but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. A detective swan may be pretty well along in the years, but he can give points to some of the youngsters

when it comes to sprinting. That's the whole thing. Oh, that's the whole thing. How does that follow that? That's the whole thing. That's the whole article. You imagine an old man teaching sprinting Yes It's a kids and yeah, what did like one of the reporters saw him running down the street?

You know looking for a bathroom and they wrote the Look at him go Look at him go All right boys gather round. Let me show you how to run as fast as you can Seems inherent Oman number 56 To kill swallows or martens Or to destroy their nests is very unlucky The penalty is breaking of a bone or some other serious misfortune within a year.

Oh wow, so you are hext and cursed if you try to get rid of a swallow's nest? A swallow or a Martin. A Martin? Those are... Swallows are notoriously curse birds. Yeah. So back then what passed as uh... swallows are notoriously curse birds yeah so back then what passed as

reportable news was like step on a crack break your mother's back similar and what ever comes in your head there are i've never heard of a martin but there are shit loads of martin's yes like fifteen Shit loads of Martins Just like 15 varieties of Martin. There's the perfect. Are you looking up Martin's right now? Have you gone into Martin? Yeah? Yeah, I would have just looking at pictures of Martin short. It's such a diverse dog Yeah, there's the Ricky. There's the yeah

Lot of good marks. AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! Oh boy, this is another one. Fortune awaits son. What do you mean this is another one? Set frame this for- what does that mean? I think this guy doesn't know how to write.

I was good as- I was hoping it wasn't. Was another like, hey get ready a drunk guy has a typewriter. I don't know if I can handle another one of those. Get at your diagrams get ready. Attorney Sergeant has discovered through DW die of the city. The whereabouts. I got a DW die once. He he has to throw in stuff that makes the sense. Well, he's not charged me with DW die. That's what the first guy was doing.

He was having a DW die while he was writing. He was like, got the ink and I'm going to drink the gin and write a DW die. Oh, no, that's strike two. Attorney Sergeant has discovered through D.W. Die. Attorney Sergeant is an amazing start, but I'll let you keep going, but that's also insulting. Attorney Sergeant is just, come on.

That's like what a kid thinks a job is. Is that the top rank at a law firm? Yes, that's right. Hello, I'm Sheriff lawyer. I turn you sergeant has discovered through DW Diavicity, the whereabouts of the long lost son of Fred Mcdonald, son of Lord Greenville. Here's the problem with the first sentence. Four people? Oh, no, four people. Four people in the first sentence.

The first head's already exploded. Well, it's just like how like it's like Providence Game of Thrones. It's just like, who it's like it's like providence game of thrones It's just like who is he? Sergeant Yes, they return this person they found to his rightful owner. I hope so the mother the mother of the boy was Lou Coons Okay, David David. I mean this with all due respect. Go fuck yourself Went to England Mary MacDonald

and a ran away from him uh-huh And taking their son with her Still okay now not okay, and it's Neither the readers nor the writers of this news paper were literate It's actually neither the readers nor the writers of this newspaper were literate Somehow this made it into the hands of citizens Whom she kept in seclusion while she lived an abandoned life in Columbus Abandoned life. Oh the banded life really a really really quite the description of a person. I know.

You just abandoned life, didn't you? Ew, that is fucking brutal. That is really kind of like Sarah Palin is living in Abandoned Life. Yeah. You can say that about a lot of comedians though. Oh my god. I'm on the Abandoned Life tour right now. It's dark.

It is dark. Let me tell you. I was about 35. I decided I wanted out. I'm probably abandoned life around my mid 30s. McDonald's died recently. I have no investment in whoever the fuck this is by the way there's no part of the that's like uh... that's a shame mcdonald is the son of the lord of grand greenfield i'm gonna drive out of the house and be you up you understand me i'm not putting this on you dav

mcdonald died recently and willing two million to his son what? mrs. mr. die married a half sister of lukegoons and was able to identify the boy i'm gonna get a quarkin people are in this tiny paragraph it's like three sentences and there's like thirty four people in it it's like heroin blue

that was the craziest this is like if thirty years of guiding light was shrunken to one article. It's like you you ask a senile person who's watched guiding light their whole life like what was the show in force and just sum it up Sum it up just give me what you can Give me what you W. Die. Yeah, uh-huh Patterson's parting shot JC Patterson minister of militia has resigned his portfolio and left for California this morning Is it a portfolio?

He's living in a band in life. Yeah, he's really You see that a lot. A lot of life now. Now, gentlemen, it's time for me to abandon life. That's it. Mr. Patterson has large interests in the Pacific state and has announced to his friends that as long as Canada is England's donkey engine, he will not live in the country. By the way, finally, some good in this paper.

To consider Canada to be England's donkey engine from now on is a 100% must. That means to be written on the Canadian flag, and is that is I I'm gonna try to go to Canada Just to see if I can get refused if I call it like yeah, I don't know. I just figured I'd come over here See what's going on with England's donkey engine Plus I probably came in I have a DW die oh Shit Don't the engine sounds like something a crazy inventor in the 1890s to try and sell. You put a helmet on your donkey and then you've got a donkey engine.

Just a motor on the back of a burned donkey. I don't know if that's going to work actually. Trust me. the back of a burned donkey i don't know if that's gonna work actually trust me car fenders shown an exhibition witnessed by railroad officials and interested persons senator nelson aldrich president of the union railroad company i love it was just

throw that in there by the way, hey, just to start out, the Senator happens to be the president of the biggest corporation in America. A major in that. Senator Nelson Aldrich, president of the Union Railroad Company, Superintendent Potter and the City Council and the Board of alderman committees on railroads he's gonna name more people i'm gonna go through them uh thank you members of the city government of potucket saw an exhibition of street car fenders on therber's avenue this morning the ex the

exhibitors were the d8 lh diarich company and the field Carfender company. Should we guess as to how many people came out to see Street Carfender? Oh my God, I mean, two. Everyone. Everybody was out. Everybody who heard about it. I know the people who heard about it two days later were like, why didn't you tell me?

I was watching the bird. I was killing sparrows. I was stomping on martins. I was martin stalking. If you had told me I would have killed that swallow and I would be alive. The Darach contrivance gained the most attention because it operated successfully. Wow, so that sort of had so that so the one that works seemed to get people really excited. That's interesting. People were into that one. This is Fenders. What do they do? They knock over they knock over cows on the tracks? Oh, well, are you ready? Mr. Darritch had confidence in his invention and stood in front of the car as it came down upon him. This is the best story in the paper. This is the front page. I can't believe we started with an ad. This is it. This guy.

the front page. I can't believe we started with an ad. This is it. This guy. I hope he was wearing a cape. Yeah. Yeah. This is a real ass donkey or a donkey. What a donkey. I love it. I'm drunk. I'm drunk. I'm his his fender picked him up wow sl-and then it in parentheses it says slicker and grease so his fender picked him up slicker and grease and with only a slight scratch on his hand it was a successful trial

slicker and grease and with only a slight scratch on his hand it was a successful trial now the field would you want to start a recovery fender? successful trial. Now the the start or the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the

the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the car and the person maybe the idea was because pedestrians were not adjusting to cars that this is a way to sort of

partly launch a person upon your vehicle. We're talking. 1895 so. Wait, these are these are train cars. I think these are train cars. Oh wow. Yeah. Because they didn't call it car. They didn't call it car yet. Yeah, it's a train cars. Oh wow, yeah. Because they didn't call it car. They didn't call it car yet. Yeah, it's a train car. I still will call it car honestly. I know. So this is to propel people out of the way of trains. Yes.

Yes. The field car fender operated on a dummy, so they didn't use a person. They're like, that was good. What you did. We're not gonna I don't my thing is a little More in the work still so I'm not gonna stand in front of my thing But you know what I think dummy was the term for Steve who lived in the village I'll do anything I hate trains. All right Steve. You're gonna beat one up today. Finally today. I'm in my maker The field fender operated on a dummy and on the second trial the dummy went under the car if it had been a man an accident would be recorded

But a weird that phrasing is even so it's not weird that phrase is even so uh... that he's saying if that i better person that person would be dead steve i think that i think that fender failed yeah that one failed yeah so shame i mean i like the one that just kind of moves the people out of the way but what

kind of way billen's villains rejoiced at the news all-timey mustache villains currently people guys with curly mustache the curly mustache villain celebrated well we've got a little bit more time gentlemen uh... oh yes we just have to find more damsels yes unfortunately the damsel drought continues but one thing down

if we find more damsels we could have another fruitful year uh... this is some six district court uh... happenings and the six district court this morning jenny evans was sent to the state farm for six months for being a common night walker. Uh-huh. Well, so there's a damsel right there.

Yeah, okay. So it's working right here out. Sex work, right? Yeah. Kate Belville was held on the charge of being Lude and Wonton. Same with basic things. The premise, right? That sounds to me like someone a woman walked by with like her ankles showing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put her away. Put her away. I'm not good at a heart. I'm hard. Put her away. Well, here I am masturbating again and it's not my fault. See, we're all masturbating.

It's thank you. Fuck your rocker up. This wonton. William, a willis willis levin was bound over to the higher court on the charge of keeping a liquor nuisance Wow the phrasing this this was this guy not allowed to explicitly say the crime or There everything was just nebulous in fractions a bit of a liquor nuisance I Was a liquor nuisance absolutely yeah, I've definitely been a liquor nuisance. I do have a couple of nights ago. I was a liquor nuisance. Absolutely. I've

been. Yeah, I've definitely been a liquor nuisance. I'll tell you what, I was a liquor nuisance before I had an abandoned life. It actually led to it. A liquor nuisance. It's so good. It's really good. I wish I'd know that in college. I would have used a nuisance all right now. I want to

start a liquor shop called liquor nuisance now. A bar called liquor nuisance. Yeah. I wish I'd know that in college. I would have used it. I know I want to start a liquor shop called liquor nuisance now. A bar called liquor nuisance. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maddo Carson was held until Friday for stealing a razor from WH Farrell. Hmm. That's all the news out of the court. Pretty good. Pretty good hits. Yeah, that was not bad. Not bad

That was like that was like the sports center top 10 that was like that's hit after hit You're like these are all good, but also I love that these are times when they're like lowering children down into mine shafts And stuff and they're like lock it up. She stole a razor Why is this what a lie? You couldn't put a sparrow in the mines. We all know what that would lead to. Yeah. A high flyer, SC Douglas, son of the Marquis of Queensbury,

has been here several months. Oh, this is from Baker's Field. Has been here several months having charge of 40 acres of land belonging to the Martian S. Martian S. Sure, yeah no the Queen of the Martians absolutely. Yes. Is a fly flyer, does that mean, what does that mean? Oh yeah, could it? Oh I guess. This is pre plane, so.

Yeah right. I guess this is pre this is pre planes so yeah right this short time ago he became infatuated with a variety girl and it is said became engaged to her yesterday he obtained a license to marry her his friends heard of it and had him arrested for insanity a variety girl she like to read and wear pants. I Flyer and a variety girl are Then by the way this paper is just if anyone struggling to have a band name you should send them this paper liquor nuisance abandoned life Tough enough fancy lad tough enough fancy lads.

So they had him arrested for it sent in the after he got a license to marry this. The variety girl is a variety girl mean prostitute. I don't know what is that's a good question. It could very well be that. Does it doesn't mean she was not white? It's just so easy for it to be. Yeah. It was a movie. So all that comes up is what the movie was.

It doesn't say. I bet Variety Girl mentioned you gave blow jobs for a marriage. Oh, yeah. I bet variety girl meant she gave blow jobs before marriage Yeah, I bet it's something like but it's promiscuous Which is the kind of girl that ever I don't know what's the kind of girl we always Jesus Dave that's when you were a liquor news since you should stop talking. I was a liquor news for a long long time It's good thing you abandoned that life. By the way, wouldn't a good title for your dad's movie, Dave B. liquor nuisance, unabandoned life. I thought I had it, but I don't have it. We have to go on with our lives without knowing. We live. We live.

Sometimes you have a question. Some will tell us on Twitter in six months. Oh, and they'll be so mad about it. So anyway, he was drinking and gambling Monday night, lost considerable money, and gave checks for it, which cannot be honored. So he got shit-faced right away. It's the old version of making it rain rain where each one was a personalized check. Yeah, and back then a check was just a piece of paper. You wrote your name.

Funny those dogs weren't redeemable. No, it's weird. Yeah. Coffins used. Oh God. The death of the end States. Christ. Jesus Christ. Okay, at first. Yeah. It's not. The, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the,

the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Max always problematic. He is an interesting story about a Chinaman. Jesus Christ.

Oh, there were four orientals discovered in a box. Into the United States has just been brought to light by the shrewd work of the United States customs officials. About a super shrewd when you're like, that's open these coffins. They're like oh there's a man. They're yelling Asian speak. Yeah. Sergeant Lawyer have a look. About a year ago an

organized gang of smugglers were frightened off by the same officials their chief point of operation, then being in Richford Vermont. Not to be out of it, the leaders of the gang put their heads together, and last month the vise and other means of getting the Celestials across the line. Get a throw, every racist one. So last deals. Yeah. Just this time the Wiley Chinaman. I don't really want to read this. Jesus Christ. What the fuck? God. Someone's gonna clip this. Someone's gonna clip this out, Dave, and you're done. Oh, I'm

present. I'm gonna. But that person's right over here Lee. You're a dead man, Dave. Uh, uh, this time, the Wiley Chinatown, we're consigned to rude pine coffins with a concealed air hole and with the aid of forged death certificates. We're safely shitting down the grass. Can we see your death certificate boys uh... and i have a and it seems like they're all dead and that's her

oh so they were people okay so they thought they were shipping uh... with death destiny certificates were safely shipped from st john nebraska to vance bro uh... main where the supposed corpses were but that is a big sense what are they where they fleeing are they fleeing china fleeing canada i mean they're being they're being shipped from it's i don't if they're being smuggled into the u.s

they're quite widely it's tough to know oh no this is new brunswick never mind it's from new brunswick oh that makes sense i've fled new brunswick there a month ago i couldn't get other fast i i shipped myself in a in a box out of i actually tried to bury myself alive and then just someone just mailed me okay that i got it yeah although it says where the supposed oh that's where the corpses are now okay i get it yep the court but the corpuses aren't corpses

so that they were very with the guy yeah they're calling the guys corpses but the guys are yeah but they're just like no we're alive in a custody alright your bodies quiet we prefer you stop calling us corpses yeah well come on we called you worse in this article we've called you worse in this article. We've called you worse Produced dealers protest Boston at a special meeting of the butter and cheese dealers of Boston Resolutions were adopted me back the introduction of filled cheese into the Eastern market That was a crazy crazy grin. The butter and cheese deal. The butter and cheese dealers. Guda, guda, guda,

munchego, munchego, munchego, pure uncut munchego. Little parmesan, pure parmesan, huh? What do you want? How about an Apollogen? You want an Apollogen? Here you go. Filled cheese is an inferior kind of cheese made from the skin of the...

Filled the cheese? ...made from skim-up with a fatty filling, such as margarine or lard, to replace the fat removed in the cream. Wow. at least the fat removed in the cream. Wow. Can you imagine a time when people have found that disgusting? Go walk through the frozen food aisle of any grocery store.

No. I mean, a gooey cheese disgusting. All right, a very nice time. There was a very pretty bizarre in Infantry Hall, which was auspiciously open yesterday, under the direction of all Saints Memorial Church. The proceeds will be devoted to building a parish house, hence the attendance is very large. As usual, Friday of booths and articles for sale, but the team of

attractive features seem to be the part the children play and the new in parentheses grab box idea. Oh boy. Is there going to be cheese in the grab box? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha quote just too cunning for anything the grab box is a dummy God damn it 20 wide awake children performed the bat dance they were like little bats scurrying around now get in the grab box Okay, you ready? No, no? Okay, you ready? No. The grab box is a dummy just to represent a Negro wench and a fox. Jesus Christ.

Yeah. Quote, give me five cents and see what I've got in my pocket. Oh my God. What the fuck? Your shit about the Chinaman was a warm-up. Yeah, honestly, that was the batter's box The dummy extends an arm. It's a lady the dummy extends an arm the Nikola's put in the hand Which puts it at once in the mouth of the figure and the customer puts his hand into the pocket it at once in the mouth of the figure and the customer puts his hand into the pocket

Which is easier to find that a real woman's pocket and pulls out a prize. Okay, so it's not okay So it's not a real person, but they had it isn't a black woman. No, it's okay. It's a dummy. It's an actual dummy It's okay. It's a yeah, okay, so it's not a huge might be the train fender dummy Which a lot of events involving dummies back then. Yeah, there's a big market, huge market. The guy who invented the dummy. This is the tower they have the dummy five years. Big numbers. Are you the genius who made the dummy?

I'm so rich, I'm taking on the railroads. But the fun of it is... Oh good, finally, I was waiting for that bit. Oh, but the fun of it is the arm belongs to a live young woman who is concealed behind the dummy and when the children think to fool it by putting wads of paper into the extended hand instead of money, the paper papers thrown back and the dummy's fingers pointed at the culprit it is indeed fun for the young and old I'm

and is definitely before television yeah I mean this is this is before this is before board games I mean no no entertainment will ever compete the explanation You like you met an opening aboard you'd be like wait, what do we do? So but the actual dummies the dummies got one real arm inside the coffin pocket you understand So you inflate the pretend African American woman Yes, then we have a real arm there should be a real woman's arm in there you'll have a real woman behind her using her arm in

the dummy black woman that's right and then the children put their hand in the box and try to get the gift out of one of the pockets come on i'm not sure why everyone's giving me that weird luck pretty sure i've come up with a pretty easy game Give it me that weird luck pretty sure I've come up with a pretty easy game If the woman screams you've reached too far all right, you've not heard the last from John Jenga. I could promise you that much Wild Mr. Wild Wild Mr. Wild sure It's W-I-L-D-E so they had a little fun with the headline because you get it

Yeah, he returned today from the Orient is prepared to prove that he's fed that I'm not excited for where this is headed I'll be I'll jump in right now don't love the start How many coffins did he bring with him? I can only imagine what lessons he's coming back with. I feel like Gareth missed the thing I said. Yeah. Is

prepared to prove that he has never been beheaded. Yeah, both of us missed that. I don't know. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha portion of the newspapers in different parts of this of the world as having been beheaded hanged placed in prison and otherwise maltreated by the jabs well of course you have to like uh... walked into his own home at six o'clock this morning well and happy hello notice something different i'm white of course i could have written i could could have written, but isn't this a better entrance? Yeah, that's what is it? Honey, I was beheaded. I couldn't write. They

took my head. The representative of the news called upon him shortly after his arrived, and Mr. Wild said that he had not been ill a single day since he left the city on October 2nd, 1894, and that he has been treated in the most hospitable manner by every person that he had done business with, and that such a thing as being arrested was perfectly absurd. I want to see this, Mr. Wild. My family has heard from me every eight days since I left the city, and when the story was circulated that I was beheaded, it cost me $39 to inform my family by cable

that my head was just where it intended to be. So this full story is, a man went to Japan and we told everyone that he'd been executed. And then he's not happy about spending $39 to let his family know he's okay. He went on a business trip and we're so racist that they were like, well he had him and killed him and he went to Japan. He was at least killed a couple of times.

He says, look, he doesn't have a head. All we know is he doesn't have a head. a a Judicial separation This is that a London oral Russell today was granted a judicial separation from his wife Countess Russell on the Grand of legal cruelty upon the part of his wife and her suit for Ratat for restitution of conjugal rights consequently failed wait So she still wanted to fuck she wanted to fuck wow if you want for restitution of conjugal rights consequently failed. Wait. So she still wanted to fuck. She wanted to fuck. Wow.

She wanted to fuck and he's like, I want to divorce and she's like, well, I will take you to court. And you will be fucking me. Uh, the jury finds that he must fuck his wife. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Sadly, the jury often found that the wife must fuck the man. Yeah, I know. Yeah, this is a real... Right. Yeah.

It's like a donkey machine. Oh, here's a good one. Male versus female brains. Right there, you know, it's gonna be a hot story. I cannot let... Professor Bishop. Oh, okay. There you go.

Professor Bishop of London was the most violent of the present century, opponents of women's suffrage. One of the arguments being that the average weight of a man's brain was 1,350 grains. Well that of a woman of the average was only 1,260 grains. I'm so pleased that just came out and said, look, his whole thing was women can't vote because by weight their brains are smaller. You can't argue with that. No, it's it's a science were dancing about. Well, yeah. I mean, we still use grains. So obviously this guy knew it was going on. The professor died.

And when his own brain was weighed, it only tipped 1,255 grains less than what he declared to be the female average. That's tough. That's tough. Ouch. That's a bad one. That's a bad one. That's a bad one because you can't be like, like you went, like you won, but he's dead. So you can't, there's no. Yeah, you would need it as him to be beheaded, but come back like that other guy. I don't know. I'll still like I'll pee on Kissinger's grave

I'll still feel good about that. Yeah, yeah, that's fair I tried over I'm leave we want to thank you, but there's something we just won't say buddy When I go surfing I drive by the Reagan library and every time it is a fantasy of some kind. It almost burned down a few years ago. Remember that when they were like the news is like, thank God we just got it out in time. You're like, fuck. I'm surprised it could burn without any books.

That's probably what saved it. You're listening, but if you can only see in his face as he delivered that line. No, we knew. A banger. Yeah. So he should, that's the headline. These headlines are all very interesting. It's the last one.

Okay. Yeah. Okay. He should. That's the headline. These headlines are all very interesting. There's the last one. This will be the last one. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. This is a, I gotta say, this is one of the worst put together papers we've had. That is seriously saying something. It really is, but it's, this is not been a good one as far as I mean, there were only nine people in Providence, Rhode Island at the time.

That's a fair point to so we should and include the beheaded guy sorry david action a writer in a magazine says the earth should be heated more than a hundred and ninety thousand degrees by being suddenly stopped that's not that's not so good back we can just make shit up you know that is me like all right hey hey Fred here's one if you stop your

through a heat up a lot I feel like that was brought up at the republican debate the other night so I was like you got it uh... it would at once become more than 60 times as hot as melted iron any man who Knowing these facts attempts to stop the earth ought to be severely dealt with What not only could you just not only could you just make shit up? could you just not only could you just make shit up. But I bet this guy was viewed as a genius. Like I bet this put a lot of backs on mattresses, you know, he had a flock. There's no doubt he had a flock. People like finally someone who speaks to my issues. Okay, but you know, it would be great

is if we started putting this out there and asking the public is to please make a law against people trying to stop the earth from spitting yes that the democrats are trying to stop the earth the democrats try to stop the earths we please help us and i've had some republicans would jump on board yeah if we all just stopped walking and push the other direction. Very likely. Yeah, it's superman.

Yeah, I think that could definitely happen. Yeah. Everybody put on your top enough. Yeah, get your top enough, Zach, everybody with, with, step in earth. A bumper sticker that just says, don't stop earth. Don't you stop earth? Well Lee it often feels like you take acid and read a newspaper and today was no different

Thank you so much for joining us Atley camp on on Twitter you are on rumble Truly a great a great voice. So we really appreciate you coming on. And we've got the podcast, the other. Oh, government secrets with Graham Lwood, again, friend of show, Enemy of Dave. Enemy of, yes, I yelled at him yesterday for getting me into surfing, because I said,

you're that surfing day. Good. It's been quite a pleasure. And I'm a huge fan, thanks for thanks for having me. Thank you Lee. Appreciate it. And now we pretend that we're signing off but we stay on to the uploads. So goodbye forever.

All right. Okay.