The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 411 - Witches of Finnmark (Live)

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Witches of Finnmark, Norway. Recorded live at Chat Noir in Oslo.SourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

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Now let me tell you why. Well let's start off with the elephant in the room. Dave is now joining in sync and he's wearing the headpiece. This is going to be a Ted talk but a Dave talk. Justin Bieber thing that's what I'm doing well Justin Bieber. You got mistaken for Justin Bieber backstage. Well I'm joining your country the weather is really great. And thank you for doing that for us. It's gorgeous. It's lovely. It was a good trip to bring mint colored shoes on. I found real fast. I call them stain grabbers and they've worked great. They are puddle jumpers. Dirt suckers. She's the only place I've ever been where I was like

what's the Wi-Fi password and then they started to tell you like it's just I can't. I'll pay. I'd rather pay. I have no idea what you're saying. You got the little O thing with the slash through it. Yeah what is that? Which apparently you don't need sometimes it's there sometimes you can ignore it in a word or not. Oh the word stops or it doesn't. It's like a fucking make that up like a let's have like a it's like a fake letter. Anything else? You're listening to the dollop. This is a by national American history podcast from Norway by Centennial. This is

a by Centennial American history podcast where each week I news addict killer of Norwegian just the one guy guy who looks at Norwegian buildings and doesn't know what they are did that there's a big one up on the mountain and I looked at it what is it I don't know it's everyone's looking at it I'm like yeah and I took a picture just in case we're still in the intro read the story from American history to his friend Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about well you know they loved us in Sweden yeah that was that was very obviously we did that we don't they went fucking apeshit the Gary chant guy had

to lead the start you off how many of you are expats come home congratulations we might be joining you this is our where do we live tour we leave really early tomorrow so I'm looking to get married at the end of the show so I don't know maybe lose some pages on this one Dave I got a ring on it fast 1575 I love this I love the start dates for these ones yeah nice and early yeah in Europe they certainly are John Cunningham was born at the Manor barns in Fife Scotland what's his name John Cunningham okay so he's Cunningham's a Scott yeah he's a Scott he was the illegitimate son of John Cunningham

well was he ever able to piece the mystery together yeah it was a mystery for years don't know I mean that bloke over there's got the same name it looks just like me plus 30 years has not been helpful but John was made legitimate in 1596 what I don't know what don't know have a ceremony is it like a nighting I tried to look it up I don't know they were just like all right you're good does that have anything to do with his father coming back into his life or this is purely just like someone was just like no you're legit there thank you I'd like to think that's what happened okay I'd like that too yeah his father was wealthy

and connected so wait his his father now he is does he know his father yeah I think he knew his father was the whole time but then it's pretty obvious at some point they're like all right you're not a bastard all right I admit it you're mine but John probably because he was a bastard did not study at university like others in his family instead he went to see you do your two options school or the ocean that's right pick he traveled to many ports around the world and then eventually settled in Denmark nice King Christian the fourth of Denmark Norway so I'm already I I already need you to

slow down and you haven't even started explaining it I can tell this is big so this is one of the most bullshit things but they were for a while card called Denmark Norway they were together so they like were countries dating yeah they were they had a relationship yeah and then after a while they're like I don't want I want to be Norway and Denmark's like fuck I'm fine I don't wait no you can go your Norway go your Norway there are people that want to leave right now and you can I just thought 30 people run out the door that was crazy right so it's called Denmark Norway at this point sure King Christian rules it he was the

brother-in-law and friends with King James of England right who we recently did on one of our England episodes yeah King James was invited to the baptism of King Christian's son in 1603 but as we learned in episode 8 of the dollop England and the UK which finder Matthew Hastings King's James wife had come from Denmark and when she was trying to cross the North Sea a bunch of witches remember this they they made storms right and then they had to they had to land in Norway for a while because the witches made the storms right because that's how storms work right and so the the whole storms blamed on witches King James was

not going to go through that again and be at the mercy of witches you learned that lesson once yeah so he decided not to attend the baptism but it just so how close they were and then King James was so anti-witch that he wrote the book demonology which explained how to catch him and tear game and punish him who was pro-witch which is makes a ton of sense in 1603 King James quote requested and recommended King Christian hire John Cunningham okay so a letter written by King James shows that he knew John very well and he wanted him treating treated with respect in Denmark okay so King

Christian did John was employed by King Christian in early 1603 and in 1605 King Christian made John a naval captain and John changed his name to Hans Cohning Hum you guys later see you later buddy so purely he was like I'm going the other direction strongly so John's a very good captain I'm gonna keep calling him John John's a very good captain it helps me off Greenland he guided his ship through very dangerous seas remaining calm while everyone's freaking out okay several places in Greenland were named were put on the map in the ship including Mount Cunningham okay but people who worked with John described him as strange

particularly when he was drunk no no Dave they described him as Scottish I didn't want to say anything but yeah yeah during the gridlin voyage he sent two crewmen who he called criminals ashore and he gave them some supplies to survive and then just left them on Greenland mm-hmm probably not enough supplies in the long run right I would think so there's seals there's like bags of food around oh there's a seal to get that's very easy to capture that's what I call a seal a bag of food they just lay there by the way they do way more than lay there if you're trying to eat them they're fucking violent as shit at this

time a seal would just be like what's up man because they didn't know we're so high I still wouldn't know a guy's there to kill him if they'd ever seen a guy before yeah I guess it is what are we doing miracle of first hit it with a hammer we're looking seal I'm sure you guys have got killed a seal he also captured four native Inuits okay and decided to bring them back to Denmark as a trophy of sorts well they're people by the way yeah no I'm very aware of what we're talking about they're human beings yes yes yes he caught for and he caught for it was like I won these humans yes these are mine check out what I grabbed

come on don't be assholes get out here huh yes white I am white absolutely yes 100% the Inuits were not happy now wait let's walk me through that angle so what was the rub well so all the Inuits in Greenland when when four of their buddies got taken they were like don't don't do that don't get taken yeah no don't take our friends okay both I guess would be a thing yeah so they attacked the ship good so John drove them off by firing the ships cannons Jesus which apparently freaked them out yes and for some reason the four Inuits did not like being kidnapped and caused problems on the ship

while they were aboard quote quote they screamed and behaved like trolls let me guess who wrote that Jesus Christ so John shot one as an example to the others if we're so early on the story who's already shooting them how do you keep a person in line I wouldn't know I don't take one life of someone that's how anytime you want to control a group you just shoot one guy and then the other guys are like okay are we good you are like Harvey Kitell and reservoir dogs are we gonna calm down I was a teacher for a while now that they're armed you want to be again so

so after that the other three were totally like the message was sent yeah they were like we're cool I don't know if that was a quote but okay the Inuits were brought to Denmark where they were viewed by the public and then they just disappeared from the historical record what's what Dave well I mean based on we know previous stories we know it wasn't good no yeah if if a person disappears in the historical record and like a white explorer is like in charge they've been killed yeah or they all died of you know right sniffles or whatever it was back yeah some doctor so in 1626 John was sent back to Greenland with four

ships to keep exploring he landed on the coast to what is now called Canada you heard of that no John remained as captain and spent the next few years in the North Sea patrolling and was involved in the Kalmar war between Denmark Norway and Sweden great one of the great ones yeah one of the all-time classic yeah goddess that gave us Scandinavian battles yeah like King Christian and King James John was also not a fan of witches here we go again a lot a lot had been passed in Denmark Norway in 1593 that punished anyone taking part in witchcraft sure any which bad or good that was a new one that was a new part before then

they're like good witches are fine and now they're like no good witches are bad too right it's the Wizard of Oz loophole that's right so any which we get the death penalty king good but that is bullshit I agree yeah I mean I don't know what a good witch does but they like me as a qualifier I'm assuming like chocolate or whatever yeah I think I think they make I think in Denmark Norway it was chocolate probably yeah King Christian had recently learned of a witch problem in Finnmark okay are some of you from Finnmark how many people here yeah one guy how many people here from Finnmark one guy one guy from Finnmark guy welcome

to the light yeah his skin's bubbling from the stage that's birds I'm only I'm surprised only one guy got out when they find out he left the holy shit are they gonna be pet the only way you can come back is if you have the head of someone from Oslo or else they don't they don't let you back in you gotta go through these gates it's a whole thing sure so so Finnmark northern most part of the kingdom right way up there yeah Finnmark was inhabited by both Norwegian and the indigenous Sammy people oh they live side by side that is absolutely correct you tried to just gloss over that we've done too many so they live

side by side but they don't mix King Christian visited in 1599 here we go did not like what he saw from either group inch though the Sammy were looked upon much more saw me well I looked I went and actually went through the pronunciation that's not what they told me because I'm like at least I'll get the indigenous people's name right and then I didn't so thank you for catching it early Sammy I don't like them now you cannot take that attitude you are such a white guy now we have to kill everybody guess who's the victim now this guy at the

time the saw me low bar especially the men were considered to be heavily involved in sorcery just how they roll is it or was it just rumor not it's all wrong we're talking about right sure good no they were really sorcerers well I mean I don't well there's good witches there's not actually good witches Dave look I'm buying into the fairy tale and then the dragons came oh no hopefully the sorcerers got a spell for that so people believe that the saw me I'm gonna fuck it up now because I had it the other way word were sorcerers all over Europe okay all over Europe it wasn't just people in Norway a man named the

laws Mognus had written a history book in 1555 in which he said the saw me were very skilled in the art of magic okay so he just wrote this history book and everyone read it because there weren't that many history books around right turns out he'd never been there well he's too busy writing he says just kind of winging it making stuff up sure how history works yeah so everyone believed it they're like yeah that sounds fucking well he wrote the thing so Mognus had never ever been to the north he's making it up and the Sam the saw me became known for selling wind to sailors who were heading out to sea well let me tell

you what I love yeah I love that angle use what you got like no I can sell you some wind oh really working out here are you gonna go fishing for a while here's some wind thank well don't let it go oh yeah I just need some cash yeah no problem keep the wind in the left the cash in the right on the return journey King Christians fleet sailed into a terrible storm okay too they bought too much wind overbought their eyes were bigger than their tummy the ship horn blower which is a guy yep by the way an essential guy that can't be just someone side job all right that's lunch Chad get out of here take a break you must be

exhausted you must be winded so when they were in Finnmark the ship horn blower had stolen the cat of a saw me woman I mean that happens and now everyone on the ship blamed the cat for the storm so as far as general grasp of how things work it was not high they just assumed the saw me woman was a witch and she was casting casting a spell to sink the ship so the cat would come back she loved the cap I mean so now the ship pilot wanted to throw the cat into the sea he's like we got to get rid of this fucking cat yeah obviously the problem here is that there's a cap and most people agreed most everyone on

the ship is on board they're like we we got to get rid of the country more this cap is the devil we need to get rid of the cap that's why we're in this predicament unfortunately King Christian had really bonded with the cat wait are you saying cat or cat cat you're saying cat I thought you're saying cat this is so much better there's a cat that the guy took and they have a devil cat on the ship yeah that's the most power a cat has ever had and then the cat was friends with the king and the king was like we're not getting rid of the cat yeah the cat was like I

don't want the cat to die in the cold sea the king's like we can't do that like keep the evil cat my little buddy I assume he had a name they just didn't say it so King Christian ordered that the cat be put in a tub with a month's supply of food and then cast a drift to be fair that's how Jose got so big same deal okay so his best friend solution was let's just throw him in a tub with food and then we'll put him off to die I mean that cat's pretty horrible well unless it drifts in the ice and would drift into shore somewhere you assume that this cat in this tub is going to find land cats are great semen no by the

way not huge fans of water they love a storm yeah well radio perfect yeah get that food nice and wet that's perfect the king figured it would take the cat a month to float back to his witch so and he's going off of just nothing right I mean literally just like I bet it'll take a month that's right I think if we put that way right there yeah yeah just sort of like curling how you curl you just slowly take the tab just there it is another guy's out there just like chopping in front of it so he figured once once the cat went back to the witch then she canceled the spell and the storms would go away and it worked what

no Christ look the cat never made it to shore it died and the storm stopped is is that what happened or or did the witch go fair fair wait a minute hold on don't do anything I think I see the SS kitty coming this way yes come here well they're so fat now who gets lost at sea and puts on 10 pounds as soon as the cat drifted out of sight the storm broke up so you tell me I did I already told you and the fleet made it home safely in 16 oh on the district governor of fin mark died suddenly he was just 40 years damn cat it's he was just 40 years old okay this of course was blamed on Sammy sorcerers sure Norway had seen me saw me

I mean no sorry I think I saw me saw me I already learned it the other way and I made sure I knew it now it's wrong saw me saw me I'll fuck it up Norway just say you're sorry what just say you're sorry Norway had seen many witchcraft trials but this this one where the district governor died and was killed by sorcerers it led to the first witchcraft trial in fin mark okay here we fucking Norwegian Christian the tailor and Sammy Morton Olsen were tried Christian was accused of paying Morton to cast a spell on the governor both were convicted and burned at the stake and we're off burning

a witch across Europe very normal at this time sure nothing more normal than that there's a currently a witch panic underway sure it swept into a bunch of areas Martin Luther had said witches good or bad should be executed so as the which is reformation came yeah a lot of witches died sure okay so burning witches was seen as purification that's why you did it well that's cool so public murder is now helpful will you're purifying them by burning them yes of course mm-hmm that could not be more on point also judges saw a burning a witch as a way of really making sure they would not return from the dead and harm

the judge it must have been just so great I mean not that we're smart now but everybody's just so stupid it must have been kind of fun like you could just say anything you've been to America yes that's what I mean it's not that different yeah like it's amazing we're still not burning witches well we're burning stuff we are burning stuff across which is most across Europe most witches were not burned alive okay and France were burned dead that's right in France Germany Scotland and Switzerland witches were strangled oh Jesus I was kidding or or guaranteed before they were burnt garrison guaranteed close call

garrison is being stabbed in the throat with a metal spike so murdered it's not great no in France they were hung before they were set on fire and part of Germany witches were killed by a sword then burned in Sweden they cut off the head and burned the body in Finnmark though they just cooked them alive different strokes David different strokes so after the death of the Finnmark district governor by witches and subsequent trial proving that that's what had killed him King Christian was very and that trial consisted of you are you a witch guilty I don't know if the water trial was a thing at this point

well you know we've we've discussed the witch how you find out someone's a witch yeah just science no no it's a real catch 22 actually if you think about it it's really hard to how do you win like if you're at that point you're like well I die I mean I do die this ends with me die yeah yeah so tone in here all of a sudden this really yeah so King Christian he's really worried about the witch situation in Finnmark obviously is the which way should the which way should right especially also because at the time Finnmark was thought to be where the opening to hell was sure sure sure

sure imagine finding that huh David does that make sense yeah yeah but the rent around there so cheap as a neighborhood you can just buy buy buy just don't get lost and don't open doors when you don't know where they go according to folklore the entrance to hell was around the towns of Varda and doleman oh they thought witches would fly up there and meet for this set meet the devil for the Sabbath sure sure sure yeah as one does and then have a party sure go to hell quick party so bye you know see the devil thank you for coming so nice to have company sounds like a big it sounds like a big bear like a big guy's

eat the cheese oh I love to try some of this bread oh oh you guys like the mix I put on no try this salsa who needs another margarita I'm doing a round who wants a margie limbo we're not limboing cha cha line come on everyone put your hand on the hips of the person in front of you this is why I hate Satan but at dad at dad at dad at dad at dad at dad come on awful we must do this again no lol so hungover today you guys ah f my life getting Burger King anyone else tell us such a dork oh you guys so tired so tired aren't the next district governor

Klaus of Gagi was warned by King Christian to watch out for witches sure did he not already know that was he like sure he knows okay especially the asami sorcerers sure he told Gagi to show no mercy and execute any he found so Gagi executed nine witches while he was there most were Sami men the devil never came up during these trials you mean he never like showed up like a suit like they never they never talked about the devil which is the witches were accused of using sorcery to injure someone or kill someone okay but they were never like are you hanging out with the devil you guys party and at the whatever it

was I'll tell you one thing we're not partying for a week at least still so hungs that one so there were a lot of witch trials so so there were witch trials going on in Scotland under King James that were different okay after Gagi's time was up John King Christian appointed John Cunningham to be the new district governor of Finnmark okay he wanted to increase taxes clear the North Sea of Swedes and Pirates yeah that's still a thing yeah yeah that's still oh no I know we've learned we do got a crash course that's still tension still believe there are witches in some parts yeah and then

lastly to ensure Godfaring citizens would not avoid settling in Finnmark because of witchcraft sure yep which is the only reason you wouldn't go there well and that's where the devil's door is that's right yeah John was also to build up Castle Vardahus castle what Vardahus oh okay no one no I get it right huh Vardahus Dave you were so close Vardahus John Cunningham knew all about witch trials he was a young man when witch trials took place in North Barrick Scotland those were the witches who those were the witches for the forest James's wife in the Norway remember when the ship

was going across North Sea and the witches made the storm happen yep obviously he he was there for those witch trials okay so he was actually very close to it when he was growing up okay so big deal right when you're a kid and you're hearing about witches it's probably I would say the top news story sure yeah so it was a full-on witch panic confessions were forced using torture King James of super into the ideas that witches work with the devil and demons unlike Norway where they were prosecuted for doing harm to someone wait he say that again he thinks that witches are in the league in league with

the devil and demons yeah and in Norway oh point they're just like they just do bad things like they're not being prosecuted prosecuted on the same level as demons no he's just it's just he thinks that they're working in league with Satan whereas in Norway they're not okay it's just the minutiae of the witch arguments are amazing you foolish people obviously they're working with demons for instance there was Agnes Simpson she was charged with being a witch but denied it so all her hair was shaved off her body and then she was attached to her cell wall in a witches bridal lesson learned right I mean that

was basically an iron cage they put on your head what have sharp prongs it's stuck into the mouth and then they would pin you up against the wall and it says she was not allowed to sleep which I feel like I have to make that rule I mean I feel like it's not a relaxing position yeah no sleeping I can't breathe properly yeah don't you go nod-nop over there sister eyes on you they also wrapped a rope around her head Jesus Christ from the news of Scotland quote being in a pain most grievous which she continued almost an hour during which time she would not confess anything until the devil's mark was found upon her

private so to recap they would basically strangle you they were squeezing her head with a rope and then they would wait until they'd squeezed your head enough with said rope that the mark of the devil appeared in your well you might not have what it takes to find witches no no and the mark would just appear well the mic mark might have been there and they might have finally seen it like someone was getting down there wait there's a thing but what is the marquee is it an actual could be anything could be a little skin tag or a pimple she could have gotten a pimple while this was happening okay I'm ready

to move on could be the second vagina was growing I don't know how the human body works no no so she immediately confessed after they found the mark upon her privates and and then she'd narked on other witches that's what you do yep Agnes then confessed to causing the storm that drowned Jane Kennedy who had been on a river ferry boat Agnes said she sank a dead cat and then her witch partners attached parts of a dead man to it she said the same thing was down when the queen was crossing from Denmark wait what did they do they put a cat they took a cat I like to explain this twice they took it they took a cat

and then they set the dead cat and then her witch partners with human they they attached a dead man to the cat I really think that's attaching a cat to a man okay I mean that's fair and then that caused a storm that's how storms happened you ever watch the weather it's been a while yeah I just have used an app on my phone but that's what they're saying now no yeah if you watch a weatherman or a weather woman they'll talk about well we're in for a nice weekend it looks like a couple of dead people have been tied to cats more after the break catch us after sports at 11 gonna look like a nice warm week which means there's not

a lot of corpses on kitties this week gang so hit the beach get ready Agnes was garreted and then burned John would have followed this trial as a team over 70 people were accused of being witches in North Barrick alone okay he was 15 at the time and he lived right across an estuary from where all the trials were taking place okay so everyone's talking about it's the fucking time yeah how could not be another Scotland which panic occurred in 1597 this one involved around 400 people half were executed most of them were given the water test which was new in Scotland oh well that's fun King James attended some of the

trials himself demonological beliefs became a big part of the panic some of the witches were tried near John's home okay again he would have known quite a bit and John brought all of that knowledge to Finnmark right all of that useless knowledge well finding witches right yeah that's we're saying the same thing but just different takes I guess fun arriving he told the people of Finnmark that real witches were people who of free will associate themselves with the devil and kept his company okay and I was like so he's right yeah so he's bringing the whole new witch right whole new witch guys in town right I mean

really splitting hairs but okay in 1617 King Christian issued a decree for the hundredth anniversary of the Lutheran reformation the death penalty was still on for bad witches but now good witches would just have their property seized and they'd be banished I'm okay so it's a way to get stuff yeah but yes okay fine but would you not like if you're caught could you not just say I'm a good one well no but then you get your property taken yeah but well yes and again not ideal yeah but it's better than having to be like if you sink you're fine if you don't we kill you yeah oh are you saying if you're a bad witch you say you're a

good witch yeah can you just do that I don't think you can't because they'd be like why is Larry inside out you'd be like well a cat and it was a very cat it's a cat it's a cat thing like you did that no yeah I don't think you can't okay so you you got to find if you asked a good witch for help 20 bucks okay on the 714 1617 most eastern Finn mark men were out fishing out at sea fishing when a sudden storm hit oh quote get the cats quote the sea and the sky became one I mean who wrote that the guy who was like it happened without warning 10 boats sank 40 men drowned in 1620 charges were brought against Karen Edis daughter a

Sami woman she appeared in court on May 13th John was there okay and the appeal court judge I love there's an appeal court judge yeah right yeah I mean really well let's hear this case I'm willing to be open and honest about this Karen was charged with casting spells causing illness and death they claimed she cast a spell and killed Abraham of hop how dare she he had fallen off a boat and drowned so well the good news is we know he's not a witch that's right that's right yeah he died a hero yeah and John knew Abraham John was friends with Abraham they'd sailed together so they use the water method on Karen great now this

isn't like the water method in Scotland because here they take you out to the sea but the Arctic whatever is Arctic up there is at the north still anyway it's fucking cold as fuck yeah so so they get there and they throw her in and let me guess she floated okay which right she and she confessed everything she said she was she was in with the devil she explained that the first time she met the devil she was a girl and she was watching her herds in a field and then a big guy with a head came walking up without a head I'm sorry I think that's just the big guy sorry big guy with a head I got that one detail wrong you

never said anything like it oh this guy's big he's got a head no can't miss it hold on this I'm sorry it's the guy without a head yeah okay so to be clear this is because it sounded normal for a second but her story is a big guy without a head she's out with approaching her sheep or whatever and what does he say a guy rolls up without a head yeah and he just asked her he asked her where's my head he asked her if she was sleeping how did he how does he ask it without a head he's see this is how you know that she's not like she was just drowned and she she told the headless guy who's the devil who took off his head to say hi to

a girl wait he took it off why assume so what like a tip of the head to you yeah morning ma'am how are you a morning sir good day she responded to him she said look I'm not sleeping and I'm also not awake and then he offered her a set of keys and said if she took them everything she wanted would come to be so she took the keys no no she said she didn't know how to use keys okay sure ah another twist okay all right all right he has no head she's baffled by keys she's not awake but she's certainly not sleeping she's she's kind of an idiot no she's kind of fucking panicking so she looks down and she

notices the headless guy has a very pretty ribbon in his hand and then she probably for his cause heads for humans she goes can I have that ribbon uh-huh and he gives her the ribbon sure and then they walked around all day how she led I don't know no she did she got really tired I know that uh-huh well of course she's not asleep and then after that she just went home and she told the court that after that day the devil was always always with her and whenever she wanted to hurt someone the devil appeared and took care of business okay and then Karen was burnt alive all right well that wasn't gonna end well when

you're telling that story no or no the truth is I mean I think if you are a witch you just never confess but then they I mean well they torture you right torturing you in court once you said you're a witch they're like games on and then it's actually how we conduct war investigations now to that's how we torture that's what it's called sorry what country talking about sorry not here where we go no not my country yeah yeah no we change the we change the law so it's not torture we oh that's right that's right we didn't stop we stop torture that's right by changing the definition of what torture is that's

right yeah that's good good good good good good good good good take that war crimes so before they burned Karen she named two other witches and the 1620 witch panic was on Marie Jorgenstotter came under suspicion and was interrogated next after being tortured she said the devil led her into witchcraft he had taken her to a neighbor's house Kirstie Sorenstotter and Kirstie was the fifth-year-old Danish wife of a rich Varda merchant and a coven leader okay so we're getting somewhere no we're not now did the devil have a head or was he just holding the ribbon again I think

sometimes his head sometimes he doesn't yeah right unless you keep people you know it depends what he's wearing honestly like does this go with my suit oh fuck it the devil asked Marie if she would follow him and she was like yeah sure that sounds fine sure and he then bit her skin between the thumb and finger which was his brand mm-hmm sure and Marie then became a raven mm-hmm yeah and Dave I will stop you when it's getting weird don't you worry about that okay so she's a raven because he bit her thumb keep going and flew to a coven meeting in the hills outside of Bergen in southern

Norway for Christmas yep boy talk about a reveal to the family huh she flew with Christie who was also a raven and when they got there Christie threw a fox skin over Marie which turned into a fox that's how that's how you do it and these guys when they're getting these confessions are just like exactly that's what I'm talking about interesting interesting I've heard a lot of this stuff the fox transformation is a little new but I can totally see it obviously I see it so you and Christie the raven she turns you into a fox it's Christmas you guys are up there that's after the devil came in to your home and

bit your thumb he didn't have a ribbon but he did have a head okay while Marie was there she saw a lot of a lot of women from Finnmark some while flying as ravens others might have just been ravens by the way there's a lot of us huh some of them really don't talk to you do they real bitches two were men oh they had all everyone had turned into dogs cats sea monsters and birds yeah sea monsters yep so they wouldn't be recognized sure yeah it's a disguise you've ever seen like movies are they wear a costume have I seen a movie yeah I've seen a movie yeah like mission impossible it's like

that where they have the face except this time you're a bird or a bird sea monster right or a sea monster which is again for sure a thing they drank and danced and had a really good time and then they flew home except Christie I'm sorry they drank they drank and I don't know but they're drinking his birds well yeah birds drink ravens are just up in trees just like who wants another shoddy anger let's do this come on come on nobody's driving fly better after a couple and then the sea monsters like all right all right Andy easy Andy he's at a lot boy this guy can not hold his liquor huh yeah and they dancing at a

party yeah they were just dancing ravens and then all the ravens flew home all right well it's getting late I should get back to the nest I am except Kirstie she took a boat that's good man if you've had too many you don't feel like you should don't right that's right worst case scenario go back get your stuff the next day so after Marie admitted all this she then said that she and other witches had caused the Christmas Eve storm of 1617 that killed those 40 guys right okay and then she also said they had sex with other men while their husbands were at sea boy she is really just she's giving it all to

him right anything else you want to hear before you for sure kill me is there anything else I should be culpable of doing other witches were arrested so now there were so many women on trial for a witchcraft that they made a dungeon for them at Castle Vardahus it was called the witches hole keep going it's a movie it's a bar it was dank and filthy women were tossed in the hole just for being accused of being witches some would stay in there for months waiting for their trial one was Elsie Knoesstotter that's a hard one for me because you guys the case should be stopped Elsie was arrested after someone

saw her with demons that were shaped like cats and dogs so essentially your options are to not be with anyone or anything ever and even then you're not out of the woods you're just like I like cats and dogs oh wow did you hear that confession she said she likes cats and dogs you know what I'm talking about I want to work with animals shut up you Raven cats and dogs how to be a veterinarian huh oh my god Elsie said she wasn't a witch that's that's what they all say it's so classic it's the first thing I thought so what this said which says so they they tortured her and then let me guess Dave she

was a witch yeah well eventually after they stabbed her she was like you know what I'm a witch I and well they tried the water a deal on her and and then she floated up she didn't make it next was Anne a large daughter any logic to why the floating like why the sinking thing was a thing no I couldn't find it no they just were like they're really heavy on the inside it was something to do with its purification so water is is pure so if it expels you if it keeps you out of it then that means you're a witch and if you see also the salt the Red Sea was a whole different oh the Red Sea they're like oh my god can you believe

the amount of witches some of those people just swimming in her witches over there so next up is an large daughter and I met is this daughter mean actually daughter like you're the daughter of Anne it's that simple okay Anne met the devil when she was tending to Pete which happens when she was what tending to Pete you're out there tending your Pete that's not your husband right she's on a field hold on I gotta tend to Pete for a little while all right Pete that's nice now why don't you give me some of that moss to clean up with huh yeah he lives in the yard and every two days I go out there just tend to Pete I gotta go

tend Pete come on you might want to garden after this boom right so she's out there tending her Pete whatever that means and the devil comes cruising up sure he's woollen right and has horns he's got wool he's got horns sir he's a ram always standing up he's like a dude shaped like a oh sure oh yeah sent our Satan yeah and asked him what kind of man he was you how dare you and he said oh I'm the devil and then one's never prepared for from a goat person no you don't expect that you you're expecting like I'm a goat I'm a goat man that tracks or I'm a farmer okay I'm a farmer yeah I caught a thing well my father

was a lonely farmer and my mother was cattle sorry is that Pete yes and not now he's napping I just tended to him so the devil said let's go for a walk when we go for the walk and was like yeah for a walk and they walked together for half a day and then and then and then after that she was in with the devil and and told the court the devil tied the tongues of the witches so they could not cry or confess until they were exposed to the water or do I do that that's not great that that is that's on your way out is just sort of like all right fuck everybody I'm out of here sorry ladies that's the rule she also admitted flying

to a witches Sabbath near Varda as a raven yeah okay there were 40 witches there Ravens what they were different types of animals when they were there oh great she partied so much she barely got home and well by the way when you're a raven you can't drink as much as when you're a human that's right yeah you're like I got my regular human tolerance no you can do two thimbles and then you got to like eat some bread but she barely got home and in bed before Christmas morning and also told the court how they had created the night the 1617 storm by tying a fishing rope three times then spitting on it and untying it so you

make storms you don't have a cat yeah if there's no cat around just spit on some rope yeah like if you don't have a cat or a dead guy right it's hard yeah at that point quote the seed looked like ashes and people were killed and also confessed to bringing salt to church on Sunday oh my god of all the things of all the things she's confessed to and I took pepper quote the salt was to be used to heal a sick cow this was considered witchcraft even though it was good sure or also just helping a cow yeah the cows are the real victims in this one so in all 12 women were burned at the stake for causing the storm of

1617 Christy was said to be their leader and they called her admiral right it's amazing how they have the same rankings as the Navy I've always been fascinated by that witch hierarchy Admiral yes sergeant private take a minute hold on let's get this right what are we so so remember Christy is she's still coming in on that boat mm-hmm yeah so she rolls in to Finn mark hello and 12 witches have been burned and they're like she was our leader so she's very surprised sure and she was immediately arrested and put on trial and Christy was told if she confessed she would not be tortured that's that's a hard choice

but that's what they say what do you do man this that's terrible run become a raven and leave now there are court records of this which is how they actually had a guy writing it all down a stenographer whatever you want to call it I would I think a stenographer is pretty good from the court records quote she fiercely denied she had any such skills they had slandered her cruelly since seven witches have denounced her for being familiar with the craft as she herself has heard from their testimonies about her and since according to their sentences that have been recited to her she was their master and Admiral and

also learned a bit from them the court found that she should be tried by the water ordeal great but as soon as they were like we're going to use the water ordeal Christy was like I'm guilty I can't because it's fucking cold it all sucks yeah I mean really you are like how do you want to spend your last like two to nine days like do you just want to go early or do you want it to be the worst and then they but they even torture you after they find out your way there's like no yeah there's no everything they say once some guys like she's a witch you're like fuck man yeah no once you're in the grasp of like

witch theory it's over yeah there's no win you just like oh I just wanted to jerk off pee in the yard oh no they didn't take her did they who's gonna attend to me wait a minute I'll self-tend I'm gonna tend to Pete I'm tending to Bob Christy admitted when she was 16 she went to see an old woman quote one day as she was on her way into the fields to fetch some geese as one does the old woman Satan came to her in the likeness of a dog and he's said if you agree to learn weren't you agree to learn witchcraft all you undertake in this world will succeed however she had to force where God and

her baptismal pact with God and he followed her into the house of the old woman who then read to her and taught her and tested her abilities with a ball of yarn like so he word is a real witch shit yeah no it was just like making socks and shit I'm gonna treat you like a cat yarn now I am the devil but I'm also a dog will you rub my belly until my legs like okay the devil the dog the dog devil said take me to the old woman's house and then you'll knit well then he put then the old woman put the yarn on water and it floated around and and what they killed the yarn they were like we must the yarn is a witch

obviously this is no that quote that amused Christie wait this is really before Netflix isn't it holy shit oh my god look at how wet it's getting water on the yarn oh my god it's it's getting so oh it's a good devil that's a good devil so Kirsty admitted she killed Heinrich Meyer and then she said they had a quarrel about a drying rack and for that reason she cursed him and wished him the worst so she said she had been a dog and danced and drank with other witches she's just textbook she admitted everything except being an admiral everyone's got their line in Norway and being an admiral meant being

a naval captain but in Scotland an admiral was an officer of the crown and a judge so what so so it's John Cunningham is questioning her and asking her if she's like a head witch her he's like are you a navy captain witch she's like no I don't know what's happening you're in the business of just saying yes to everything I mean why are you like no no I'm not no no look yes I I killed him by cursing at him and hung out with the devil dog but my rank was never that high I will not sit here and let you say that I mean maybe you couldn't you wrap your head around being a captain yeah that's the thing you can't wrap your

head around in the Sarah imagine so Kirsty was the last person who was executed in 1621 John burnt a few witches a year which please King Christian Kirsten from Kiberg was tortured until she said witches were organized into military units and they had a flying coven of 96 witches which was broken into six smaller groups of 16 witches each well on the math several tell you what the math checks hey it's got to be a fact hasn't it no doubt several of them were arrested and put on the rack until they admitted their position in the witch military and I was not an admiral though in the 1630s John broke

his foot oh those witches must be stopped he thought it was clearly due to a witch conspiracy yes yes yes from the from the witch hunt in early modern fin mark quote Marin the wife of John Das from Varda during a 19 or 1638 hearing told how she and another woman caused Lisbeth called Lisbeth had pulled a rope taught over a path where Cunningham was about to walk and he felt he fell to the ground and broke his leg now as John the person who fell and broke his leg or his foot he knows I mean yeah exactly just who gives a shit yeah they pulled they tripped him and he broke his leg and he's like wait you could

just do it yeah anything could happen yeah yeah it's cool to be a dude yeah yeah so they were both burned at the stake of course of course yep it's getting pettier at the trial Marin said they did it because John was mean he was super he was super mean yeah yeah like understatement but many accused witches were causing problems with a power structure some fought Norwegians over fishing salmon others were just women who were speaking up yeah I mean basically if you recall if you dissented in any way you recall the witch by John Cunningham possible yeah John was still serving as district governor when he died in 1651 during John's time in charge

of fin mark 52 people were accused of being witches 41 were executed one died during the water ordeal did they tie a cat around John that's that's the water drown right torture was used after the verdict to get the names of other witches so he died after 30 years in charge but that did not end the witch trials good Dane that Jorgen Fries became district governor next he kept hunting witches and after Fries Christopher Orning took over in the 1650s he was a Norwegian and super into finding witches great from military governor's imperial frontiers quote in fact Orning did little else other than

hating and burning women while he was in fin mark it's like the wall the move the our wall in America that we're building oh it's like you're just so focused on the dumbest thing and yet everybody's like we need it they've already cut holes in it by the way well Dave I mean you have to have a hundred dollars to cut the wall so it's going really well in 1662 a brochure did you see that woman who was like in Berlin and she was like I'm in Berlin FYI walls work it was like she just like she like went to a museum and like read the first one I was like I'm a tweet I mean maybe there should be a an intelligence test for citizenship

here's what it sounds like a crazy thing but in America we should try it you gotta take a fucking test to get on the road I mean shouldn't you have to take a test to see how you're how dumb you are yeah which president you vote for in 1662 Ambrosius a robus and his wife and rogers a rogers yeah hell yeah and his wife and we're in prison near Oslo Ambrosius was an astrologer and doctor from East Germany he had had a vision in 1657 and afterwards he predicted how a war would end so they put him in jail you guys crazy stream fucking listen to shit we're gonna win the war we're gonna fucking win the war it was a fucking

great dream you're under arrest what I had a really cool dream you're under arrest no but we win the war you are going to jail forever do you know what era this is we win the war you bastard stop saying it I'm not I'll kill you then his wife had an argument with the governor of mayor and she was locked up so the well she was probably all bent out of shape about her a stroller husband's prediction landing him in the joint you know so the Robes couple were seen as a threat to the kingdom and in winter in 1662 they were transferred to a var de us and put and just always like to see the vibe and put into a house within the

castle walls so now they're living within the cast that's pretty cool yeah it's actually not that bad is it not well I mean you are in Finnmark and you are in and you're jailed yeah I mean you're in your but you're still you get to wander around you do you just live in a house within the castle walls it's like during the witches hole right which is what I call Finnmark but look at this guy it's the only guy I know from there you don't know him no we're buddies we're Finnmark brothers brothers I'm going up to stay at his uh you're going to fit mark with him huh yeah smart by the way careful you have a little mud hole up

there what do you got what do you the house mud hole all right careful we're going to witch together yeah at at the time when the couple came there there were a few suspected witches being held in the castle sure Dorothy really smart put them in the castle yeah Dorothy lords daughter had been accused of witchcraft but acquitted now she and four others were accused again of creating storms a single boat but that that didn't work when they tried to create the storms because all the guys on the boat prayed to God but it doesn't mean you can't get the fucking witches for trying to kill you no for sure no it's nice

that God stepped in and by the way took him a while yeah really was letting a lot of the ships get wrecked and a lot of people drown before he was like I am so fed up right now I'm so pissed off at these guys so we're still dart Dorothy and the four others were burnt at stake but before they died they named others including their own family members oh that's nice and some well I've got good news but actually it's all bad news your daughter's dead we killed her and we're probably gonna kill you guys too because she said you were with her and some of their own children okay I won't mock the death of children at Christmas three

children were brought in to be questioned as possible witches by the way what a great what a great day if you're a kid Christmas all this time kids love Christmas you can't wait for Christmas morning yeah Christmas morning comes you run down to see the stocking is no longer hung yeah and you're going to jail potentially you're lucky ah you might be put on the rack oh it's just that's a special time in a child's life one was 12 years old 12 years old one was eight years old I am hoping that we're not gonna keep going lower because if these fucking kids is under eight that's a major problem one one was of unknown age

but called quote a little girl that feels like six or under they were put in the witch's hole except one Marin Alls daughter she was the niece of one of the already burned witches Marne was housed with the a rowist couple okay Ingeborg I was daughter fucked that name I don't have time she was the quote little girl a confessed witch said Ingeborg had been at a party with the devil as fucking little girls do you know what I mean can I see some ID her trial was who wants mojitos tell me now I'm not gonna keep crushing mint all night her trial was on give me your coats no no no you are staying you are

staying your stu her trial was on January 26 1658 she was the first child in Finnmark accused of witchcraft well that's pretty cool that's pretty fuck it awesome pretty cool right first Ingeborg said she learned witchcraft from her mother who recently was burned at the stake her mom taught her how to be witch by giving her a bowl of milk in the sheep shed all right sounds very cat-ish quote when she drank the milk she saw some black stuff in the bottom of the bowl and she poured it onto the floor refusing to drink it afterwards she got a tummy ache her mom then called her then called for the evil one who came as a

black dog and he grabbed Ingeborg with his teeth and by the way the way you call the evil one is just like here boy pretty weird the dog grabbed her with his teeth and took her out into a field another time the devil dragged her around hit her and put clothes over head Ingeborg also said she went to a party that time another time the devil came as a cat but she kicked him and told him to go away that's such that's such a little girl on trial for being a witch witch it's also nice he kicked him and he was like yeah but also like the devil is so weak in this world the devil is such like a neutered wimp yeah hey I'm

owie oh so mad oh man was tried next her own aunt had named her before being burned married admitted she became a witch via a drink quote and said Mariette gave her a little beer in a bowl and as she was drinking she saw something lying in the bottom of the bowl something that was black as dirt something where she refused to drink and threw out onto the floor afterwards the devil came he was a black dog with horns now they've talked before the Confessions right like they were like we'll do the black stuff in the bowl oh here they come oh no like I mean that is clearly I think they just start questioning them and then they're

leading them they're yeah they're kids so they're talking and then once one says there's black stuff in the ball then the next one right and was there any black stuff in that yeah all right and then did the dog come yeah all right yeah was the devil yeah okay did you kick him did he go away yeah yeah yeah all right and you're a witch mm-hmm yeah yeah all right well good work kid here's that coke we promised you the dog devil asked Marin if she'd serve him and she said she didn't think dogs could talk I'm not a dog I'm the devil stupid can I just say child witch trials are kind of awesome you know you cannot

no they're my favorite of the witch she said she didn't think dogs could talk and then she said no I won't serve you and then he came back as a man with horns on her on his knees sure yeah no hey and he had a black hat and a black beard and again she's like I'm not gonna serve you and then he was like what if I give you money and she was like okay I don't know so she's in yeah then the devil devil took Marin to hell she said it was just super long trip well yeah it's quite a way sorry I know I get lost in this part of it a lot I'm sorry I think we meant to go left back I'm so

sorry I so what do you do for fun play with yarn oh my god have you ever seen it in water it is wild we do that at my parties I hold on every Friday oh it's so hungover on Saturday that's crazy wild party so you like pizza you don't like pizza I have a brick oven that's all I'm leaving I'm asking and it cooks so fast down there too because it's hell all right we'll keep walking in hell so she went to hell with them yeah for sure there was a big lake that was burning in a valley surrounded by darkness mm-hmm like a fire yeah women and men were there howling like cats many of whom were lying with their faces in the water

how hard to howl through water thank you thank you I guess it's like bubble howls yes she saw accused witches she knew from Finn Mark most were birds yep one was a dove on crutches long story they just said keep most of my weight off it is what it is two weeks two weeks Marin turned into a crow mm-hmm the water was boiling sure from the court records quote the devil also had a leg the devil also had a leg of ham you guys like ham you guys who wants to have sammys should we do a round of sammys which he dipped into the water you bring it up again at once and now it was

cooked well he's got a hot yeah he's got a hot lake so he put his ham in it you guys like Satan Lake ham another time the coven went to a party and the devil played a red fiddle they all dancing at a good time that one's not as good as the going to hell one but it's all pretty delicious she also told the court she could turn herself into a cat but only if the devil brought her cats blood and then she would smear it all over herself and put on some cat fur and then she'd be a cat I may try this at the end of her confession Marin named five women including her aunt oh my god it's just in a way it would just be the best

way to get back at relatives you hated like if you're like I'm going out my aunt Kathy yeah she's a witch oh you'll know right away total cat but district governor Orning wanted more he thought the witches were trying to take him down Marin told him a couple of the witches indeed wanted to burn down the castle but since he was already always since he was always reading the Bible and praying they couldn't right the power of the Bible that's why it's in every hotel the governor also had arm and leg pain and he asked where that came from any ideas I'm looking at you witches Marin said it was from a spell using a

piece of piece of cloth one of the witches in the hole had made bingo yep they were making off in the hole they went down to the witches hole and there was a piece of cloth hidden because the girls in the witch putting the piece of cloth in there to wipe her nose or whatever yeah anyway proof yep eight year old Karen Ivers daughter was the next child put on trial that must have been such a great fucking trial an eight year old eight years old awesome her mom had been burned alive three months before which is hard that's like one of those they say well you need a lot of therapy yeah no well you get it when you're put

on trial three months later you're like okay I'm ready for this motherless I'm eight yeah let's go to trial Ingeborg was her older sister court records quote so now she this little girl Karen confesses it emits exactly what her sister maintained that her mother gave it to her in some milk when she went out of the cottage the day after the wicked saint immediately came to her at that point her mother turned her over to Satan and the eight year old girl told the court she agreed to serve him she said Satan's name was Chris see this is why you can't get so low on age because now there's just gonna be

pure invention so you met the devil all right and what did he do he said to be evil okay anything else his name is Chris his name is Chris and he's the devil yeah he says he's calm Chris he says it's just like I'm the devil call me Chris though I'm the devil my friends call me Chris yep does he does he eat ham yeah yeah yeah he cooks it in a hot soupy lake and he had a bunch of ham and he played a fiddle and we all danced and everybody was a cat and again he's Chris can't explain her coven shape-shifting and named others much much what the children were saying was common folklore at the

time yeah that's the thing right they've just like heard this shit so they are I mean you're just brought up in this culture so you are familiar with the tropes that they want to hear yeah it's like I mean you guys probably heard there's trolls out there but like everyone there's like a folklore no but it just everyone has their little weird thing that they're you guys probably heard about trolls right nobody said anything like yeah exactly all right so your troll you love you love troll lore but but yeah every culture has their thing so they're probably just hearing about stories right and then they just

say them a couple months later a fourth child Karen Nils daughter was brought before the court court her mom had been tried the previous week and and named her own daughter Karen Karen's trial was the same day her mom was given a death sentence oh my god what a fucking week the district governor asked her if her mom taught her witchcraft and she said oh yeah oh oh yeah she did court records quote she confessed that it is certain that she had taught her giving it to her in a drink of milk in her animal shed and the mother admits this is so and she had a headache afterwards from it later a black dog came asking her to serve him

to which she said yes okay so this is nice so she's them so being hospitable finally now we've heard a few times about milk mm-hmm or food so followed by people acting strange so ergotism is caused by grain infected by a fungus it causes grain to look black and oversized ergotism poisoning can take two forms convulsive or gangris convulsive leads to neurological disturbances convulsions and evil epileptic fits one may get psychosis mania melancholia delirium during the Middle Ages it was endemic in Europe a ton of witches in fin marks said they ate or consumed black and grain before they went crazy so what are

you saying are you saying that they they are drinking bad milk and then they are becoming like mad well what yeah when they see the black thing the black thing and this guy wrote a whole paper about it but historian this guy's name to born alam I think but he probably totally fucking wrong is that you know his name true to burn on was he a famous guy or norwegian famous how do you how do you say his name to the toody burn here wait say it into this so it's on record no yeah we're gonna we're gonna do a whole show called tell tell Americans how do you say norwegian names to the beer alright fuck it I don't care anymore

either you only give that one shot yeah she's so far away I felt like I was like Oprah I was like what'd you say poor beer alright okay so that gentleman wrote a whole paper about yeah how there is all you just go medication that because of this this grain issue where the grain goes bad it literally calls you cause you hallucinations and all this other shit are you saying that that you are you saying that that is what caused the mania and the children or in a lot of a lot of the people so there's just a lot of like general like but all the kids said they had all the kids had bad

milk and now they're like and I also kicked it with the devil I saw a thing the devil's also my friend I mean Chris can I get a little more of that milk I'm starting to see things properly again so anyway back to Karen I have a stutter who said she did all the usual stuff part of a coven turning into a crow sure yeah blah blah blah usual usual stereotype stereotype I should I was at this point so so Siri news daughter confessed quote when she and bright were fighting she promised her that her arm would rot away which happened just afterwards so that's the gangris version so she might have fed something to that

person and his arms because your arms would literally rot off that was the other that was the gankers first arms yeah they were really tickled by the arms like a falling off then I guess you just be like a stump which isn't great for the middle ages no frowned upon yeah so so yeah so so cool all right yeah right anyway so Karen did all usual stuff part of a coven turning into a crow but the district governor was now convinced all witches were plotting against him right because he hurt his leg and arm that's right she said that as a girl she and her mom flew to the castle as crows and that three which I knew I knew you and

that three witches had tried to assassinate the district governor with a needle by the way great plan great plan yeah good turn yourself into a bird and just a little needle maybe a safety pin we thought you were a balloon so the day after trial Karen's mom was burned at the stake the next day next up was Kirsten sorenstader who was quote a very small child this is just crazy she was in the witch's hole with her mom which is cute no oh her mom had also said she was a witch because you get kids are fucking I mean are they sometimes you're just like you're a witch are they saying that because they're being tortured

okay but the questioning became all about them so all the questioning now became about the plot against the district governor the witch's plot okay Kristen was also found guilty Siegfried Peterstader was the last child accused of witchcraft in Finnmark we don't know her age both her and her mom were in the witch's hole the district governor asked her if she was part of the coven trying to kill him and she said yep yeah she had flown to the castle as a crow with a coven I mean imagine an era where you're hearing this and going like I knew it I knew you were crows trying to stab me with pins so after she

said this Siggy's father stood up and yelled at a woman Barbara who had accused his wife and daughter of being witches and he told Barbara to tell the fucking truth and at that point Barbara withdrew her accusation well that was easy have we just been mushy have we just been missing pushback just someone being like bullshit it is bullshit I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry I should not have said it was not it was a regular crow and everyone's like what yeah seriously some guys you didn't go to the devil's lair as a crow

no you made it all up I'm eight I'm seven years old I also made a boom boom she yeah so this woman was accusing people and this guy was finally shut the fuck up okay I lied so all the people in the court watching this agreed with dude who stood up and yelled so the people are like this is crazy yeah okay so this complicated things the court admitted accusing children is a tough case that you've seen on law and order it's tough I like how it took them three children death so quote since they are but small underage children who have not reached an age to make their underage children that's what they say they're underage

adults their children but I'm not according to the court they're underage children what are they they're in their mothers are you disagreeing with the courts decision yeah yeah yeah I'm pushing back Dave I've learned the power the courts decision is there underage children they are sperm children since they are but small underage children who have not reached an age to make their own decisions children it turns out after some blood analysis they are indeed children and their brains are tiny and they don't do things like this no have they ever been to God's altar to receive the blessed sacrament but are

utterly ignorant this is all a difficult case to decide no it is not no ah but they're also witches I'm having such a hard time that guy's mental plight I mean they're so young but they're so witches still the court recommended the kids be executed but decided to send the court is not a good place I mean obviously we should kill them but it's tough it's a tough death but decided it's not gonna take as much fire which I like to send the case to the court of appeals okay I just can't believe them at a time of witch burning there's a court of appeal no the fact that there's a legal process

at all it's just insane yeah it's insane so at the quarter appeals things are much different eight-year-old Karen cried when she was asked if she knew witchcraft which is a bullshit witch yeah classic witch tactic I'm a scared child oh really what's so scary you killed my mom and said you'd kill me stupid little mouth Angerborg just stood silently it wouldn't talk then Marin said Anne a Robius who had told her to had told her to lie and accuse other being witches okay and it wasn't just Marin turns out and remember that woman living in the house yeah I brought up randomly of the couple yes right

right so Anne had keys to the witches hole and was working the girls the whole time telling them to lie oh wow so she knew how to use keys impressive impressive stuff and that's what this is about she's the first person in Norway who knew how to use keys that is a breakthrough turns out you've got to put it in the lock turn it they turn it if he doesn't go the one way try the other a lot of people just sticking in and leave it there it's not like that you gotta move it around jiggle it yeah in and out and if there's two keys back don't be afraid to try both so she's had the key to the witches hole she's working the

girl's also I'm telling him to lie telling him to make accusations against other people teaching them specific demon ideas telling them to confess and then when he came back he wasn't a dog anymore but he had horned knees someone's coming I gotta go Kirsten said Anne told her to lie about her parents and had threatened her saying if she didn't lie about herself and her mother she would be thrown into the sea then put on a rack and then burned with an iron she wasn't wrong necessarily but that's crazy also like an evil Cyrano de Bergerac well I'm

wondering if she got brought up there to do that in the first place oh it right okay remember they were just randomly brought up right yeah they had a charmed life why would they have that right others from Finn mark testified that the girls and their families were good Christian people between Ann Robius and the district governor the kids had been scared in a calling themselves and others witches all the children were acquitted by the appeals court by the way that's what happened with the other way like that's the whole thing what well the whole thing was everybody was nobody was a witch well we don't know

fair pushback I gotta I gotta go with the court decision to tell you here otherwise well they did have an appeals process which is fair I mean an appeals process for witches it's like when children make a restaurant so the judge said that if their parents had been burned they got they get to have foster parents in the same town that's nice that's that fun little silver lining you can live in the same town as your horror stay with your mom's ashes and then I guess they just get raised in that town where their mom got burned and everything's fine I doubt that everything's fine in total

there are 135 witch trials in Finn mark from 1600 to 1692 111 were women women mostly tried during panics while men were tried as individual incidents only 3,000 people lived in Finn mark so 4.5% was killed because they were witches yeah 4.5% were accused of that's like a voting block that's a lot of fucking people are 5% of people were killed for being witches this is very high compared to other places in Norway that's cool sir you must be pretty proud of that that's pretty those are cool numbers Finn mark had 60% of all Norwegian witchcraft trials and 31% of all Norwegian death sentences well 90

people were executed I'll probably get this wrong but the style Nessa Memorial is dedicated to these persecuted witches it's up there in Finn mark it has it's not the roof it has windows up there and it windows and plaques for each person killed with a trial testimony telling their story kind of wish the kids have been killed though would you know Dave Dave Dave Dave Dave my purposes I think it's a better ending no Dave I mean Jesus Christ look Norway's weird but everywhere had the witch thing yeah but I mean it is an interesting wrinkle that like they were like kid witches no too dark oh no there

were there were kid witches being like Germany was just throwing kids in a fucking fire like it was shocker on brand yeah there were a lot of kids killed in the crazy well I just yeah I mean granted we live in a world with bump stocks and bulletproof backpacks so I guess we don't value the lives of children that much but it still is see the amount of I mean imagine being that short that's a which look at her that's a dog bingo that's my point to you there's such good storytellers though you want you can talk and then who the witches kids witches yeah okay yeah right

this is your van of imagination so once you get him going in a trial yeah oh this is good stuff I didn't know they could be whales interesting I was a whale whoa cooking a ham sorry it's that's what you guys you're other than that you don't have a lot of bad shit you're like I've never been somewhere I'm like is there anything that these people did this oh thank god they were trying to kill kid witches whoo I got to cancel the show I was so happy when I ran across you are you about to say you're so happy when you ran across I ran across this woman's written a lot about it live Haleen at Williamson children accused of

witchcraft in this 17th century fin mark you know so walk me through your emotions when you see that book title for this oh you you it's almost like tending to pee I mean I was I was looking for weeks of just Norway come on give me something something of substance and then fucking live comes along and I'm just like baby we are gonna get married I'm already married one of the other sources Scottish witches and witch hunters by pal no that's not the name exploring polar frontiers a historical syncopedia torvin on torbin I don't know how do you do you know him or you just know of him

toward Bert yeah we're gonna get this what we're doing sir sir come here come here do it for us please talking more there was a surname wasn't it say the name again Torbjörn album how hard is that tape Jesus no do a little homework would you I have or like to accuse another witch sir get in this ice bucket we'll find out what you really are you son of a bitch how many kids you got and I'm air quoting kids obviously anyway Torbjörn album wrote the witch trials of Denmark you only got to tell me 42 times which trials of Denmark northern Norway

during the 17th century evidence of ergotism and as a contributing factor and then Gunnar Knudsen witchcraft Norwegian witchcraft trials did I say that wrong fuck off a reassessment continuing change well that was like come on how do you say it let's all do it in a round let's all do it with a second delay you guys pronounce the K we don't pronounce the K in America I don't want to tell you our K is silent we don't call it a knife our KKK we just don't have can you rock me yeah you didn't cano about that oh shit we try we probably just get it on the show trying to pronounce Norwegian

words I'll now I will say many great moments but Dave I just wish we could have had like a little camera in the tub with the cat to just see a highlight reel of the SS kitty because if you're a cat when you get put in a tub of food you're like there's no downside to this and then you're like hello oh god see I'm different if I could have a camera or be when when Karen comes out of the house and just sees Pete laying there on the ground it's hard on I just to look on her face wait is your Pete buried and then his penis is just popping out of it yeah that's I gotta say that's his day Dave and he goes there's my troll I

want to congratulate you for winning the picturing Pete Contest cuz I'm just picturing a pervert to Kilt oh shit well thank you guys so much for coming out we really appreciate it we love it here wish we could stay longer we'll return thank you appreciate it VIP meet and great stick around yeah VIP thanks to grab thank you