The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 417 - Eddie Haymour (live)

Episode Date: February 19, 2020

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by guest Bobcat Goldthwaite to examine Lebanese Canadian Eddie Haymour and his dream. Recorded in Vancouver. Based on Omar Mouallem's article The Kingdom of HaymourSourcesTour DatesRedBubble Merch

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This is a bi-racial American history podcast where I, Dave Anthony, a white guy, read the story from American history to his friend, Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about, also a white guy. We have a special guest, our guest. I mean it's weird. I started out when I was starting to do comedy. This is a guy I like loved and watched when I was starting out. Number one that's my way of saying I really love his comedy and number two he's a lot older than me. But then I got to work with my marion like he directed an episode that I wrote like really fucking two episodes I think. Really awesome so

he's become a friend. Ladies and gentlemen, Bobcat Galthwaite. Wow. Hi, thanks. That's very kind of you. Thank you very much. Yeah, I think you said you know what we needed to make this show a little more whiter, a little older. Let's bring out Bob Scratch Goldfarb. You know, I did like the most benign Trump joke and and I got 43 death threats on Instagram. Instagram? Instagram. What lazy death threats? Well I was like going who likes Trump and I was like oh police academy fans. They love Donald Trump. You changed Bobcat. You used to stand for the law. Dear officer Zed. That was the character's name. We need

Hightower more than ever. Yeah, I think rebooting it would be a bad call right now. It would be divisive. Yeah. You know, I worked with David and that he's so I really that episode I did a bunch of episodes in man but the one that one in particular is my favorite one and it really featured you. I don't know how Mark would feel about that. But yeah, it was great. Dave's still in character. The ones that feature me were the best ones. I'm not gonna say that. You guys aren't laughing because it's true. I said a fact. I would say that's true. Mark doesn't listen to who gives a shit. Yeah, I'm not. I think Mark's fantastic just in

case he does. I'm not gonna be directing the Joker to still joking. Not with that attitude. Bob's grats shitty attitude. 1930. I should have looked up how to pronounce some of these things. That could be said for most episodes. Eddie Hamor was born in the Bego Valley of Lebanon. Was an area rich in farmlands, hills, lakes and Roman ruins. Cool. Yeah. His father was a Muslim. His mother a Christian and they moved to Beirut when Eddie was a very young man. That's if they were to be a sitcom that would be the lyrics to the intro song. How does the song go? His father was a Muslim. His mother was a

Christian. Now they move to Beirut. That's the show's about to start. Hand down. They put that last lyric in there? No, well, they'll punch it up. Don't worry about that. That gets punched up in post. That's a post job. Yeah, but honestly, just with the start, I can't imagine anything bad happening. Nope. Seems pretty solid. Yep, no issues here. They actually went, I don't know how this is going between you and I, but let's go to Beirut. Let Beirut decide. Yeah. In Beirut, Eddie became a barber, but he wanted more to life. So in 1955, he immigrated to Canada, where his sister was already living. That's where we are.

That's where you guys come in. The blackface country. I'm just so glad you guys did that, so we have something. Yeah. Do you remember when Trudeau came out of this family was hiking and he came out of a cave shirtless? What? What? That's why he could have got out of this whole mess. He could have said, I'm the real Trudeau. I never put on blackface. I had to kill the evil Trudeau. He's in there. His name's Trudeau't. Kill him. So when Eddie was 25, when he arrived here in Canada, he had $17 to his name. All right. But his plan has become very rich. He only, he only knew two words,

which he wrote on a sign. This is okay. And carried it around. Sure. And that helped him learn how to pronounce the words, and the words were me, barber. Okay. So now the millions are all in. He got so much business from Tarzan. Yeah. Me needs your service. Me, barber. Me, Tarzan. I think this conversation's over. And he needs it so badly, too. So he walked around Edmonton until someone gave him a barber job. So someone gave him a proper job? A barber job. A barber job. He walked around with a sign. Yeah, yeah. Come on. How are you with finances? Oh, never mind. He was a very hard worker. He had a lot of energy, and he soon

after a while opened his own barbershop. Me, barbershop. Me, barbershop. I don't remember. Had he cut hair before, and could he have been someone that was transitioning? Me, barber. Mandrel. He, it was called Four Hamors. Four Hamors? Those last names, Hamor. Okay. Sure. So he, it was successful. He bought a home. He opened more hair salons. He opened his stylist schools in both Calgary and Edmonton. So he's killing it. He's learned a few other words since then. He knows other words. Right, okay. Otherwise, wow. He knows you, barber. Yeah. Franchise. That's it. Yeah, that's enough. He walked around the side that just said franchise, and people

were like, all right. Okay, yeah. What is it? I'm sorry. Me, barber. Franchise? So he's living the immigrant dream, right? Eddie, he's very charismatic. He's very charming. He's very good-looking. He married a Canadian woman. Loreen, who was 19 years old, raised on a farm in Alberta. They would go and have four kids. Okay. So they like fucking? Yeah. Me finish inside. No, me come on face. Me thinks two's enough. You pill again? You should. I was just thinking if he came, he went, me, barber. Get off. Get off of me. Get off of me. Get the fuck off of me. So they were going out of four kids. Like I said, Eddie became a Canadian citizen in 1960. He was so

excited. He threw a giant lavish Middle Eastern theme party. 250 people attended. There were belly dancers. The Edmonton mayor came. The Lieutenant Governor was there. Eddie wore white tux with a bow tie. The provincial secretary toasted him, quote, I can assure Eddie that he will never be disappointed with Canada. Well, I feel like that's foreshadowing. When is a brown, a version of the brown skin ever been disappointed in Canada? Well, we've been talking a little bit about it on this show. Eddie said, quote, it was the best day of my life. But it's all about to fall. Yeah, apart. The wheels are about to come off.

The best day of my life. Yeah, never say that. Yeah, gear shift now for Dave to go, but... After a few years, the marriage wasn't... After a few years, the marriage wasn't going great. Eddie was successful and he worked constantly and this put a strain on the marriage. In the late 1960s, they separated. Eddie responded by kidnapping the children. Good. Smart. Smart. No, that makes sense. That's what you do. Yep. Yeah. That's how you do it. Yep. But I mean, it's not like traditional kidnapping. It's not like... No, no, he didn't... Leaving a Nirvana show after making a Michael Jordan joke. Yeah. But it's not like,

can you describe the kidnapper? Yeah, dad. Yeah. Yeah. No, a dad kidnapping is one that just kind of like slowly dawns on you. Like in the ride, you're like, hey, shouldn't mom be with us? It's been like three days. Dad's crying a lot more than usual. Why are we in Michigan? We're not. So we're not going to Disneyland. But it's not a kidnapping. Dad, why are you cutting letters out of a magazine? Don't worry, guys. Please. It's for your mom. I'm just getting an M, E, a couple Bs, an A, an R, and another R, and an E. My classic sign-off. Me. Sorry, Nancy. I took the kids. Me, Barber, Eddie. Me.

Their son, Lee, quote, we all thought we were going to... Yeah. Totally. He's like, oh, awesome. We're going to go rafting. Kelowna? We all thought we were going to Kelowna for the day, but we were soon on a plane to Lebanon. Oh my God. Wow. This is... This is very different. How long is the flight to Kelowna, dad? Just like a day. Eddie, when they got to Lebanon, dropped the kids off at a private boarding school and then went traveling around the Middle East. What kind of move is this? He had a perfect... He could get out. She wanted a divorce. He could go do this, but instead he's like, no, it's the principle. Yeah. If you don't want him, neither of us get him. Yeah. Someone's got to learn a lesson here.

Four people. Eddie said he was traveling to, quote, establish a network of political connections in the Lebanese parliament. Okay. Here we go. The Palestinian Liberation Organization and the Jordanian palace. Okay. So PLO, Lebanese parliament, King and Jordan. Sure. The trifecta. Yep. Eddie said, often said he was a descendant of the Hamor dynasty that ruled Yemen 3,000 years ago. Just pull that shit out. It's bold. Yeah. Yeah. 35 successive kings and queens. No one can verify it. But to Eddie, it was true, quote, this narrative and filters every story about himself through his imagined bloodline. Oh, I should say, almost every quote is from Omar Mulem, who wrote an article for 18bridges.com. Very good article. Did he have a sign, Me

King? How could you argue that? No, he can't. Once it's in writing. So Eddie soon returned home with the kids because Lorraine was like, okay, we'll get back together. Yeah. Of course. Well, when he kidnaps your children and takes them to another nation, you're like, I'll hail Mary this. So they're going to give it another shot. But he decided that they needed change. So in 1970, Eddie moved to the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia. Is that that's near here, right? Just east. Yep. Well, everything's east. Yeah, that's very true. Nice work, David. Okay, Mr. Geography. I don't know much, but I know when it's blue. The area was beautiful. It reminded him of where he was born, the Bega Valley in Lebanon is also

a very conservative place in 1970. The city of Kelowna had about 19,000 people and a rich Lebanese dude with a big personality stood out a little bit. Sure. He's still in the white tux, right? Yeah. Yeah. Passed him here. So he lived in nearby Peachland, which is near. Are you Peachland? Are you Peachland people? Are there peaches there? There really are peaches. Real bullshit if there weren't. No, but a city can dream, can it? So everything moves slow in Peachland. The speed limit can get as slow as 30 kilometers an hour on Highway 97. Now, I know we, and let's just translate to American miles, I think, yeah, it's 550 miles an hour. So anyone listening, they went with the conversion. And then he really stood

out. Besides just being a Lebanese guy, he built his dream house on a rocky ridge that overlooked the lake. The house was massive, towered over everything. It's seven bedrooms, three living rooms, two elevators. What? One goes down, one goes up. What do you just got one up and down? Are you poor? Lord. This dude has come a long way from the me barber sign. Yeah. Two elevators? Yeah. And it was not exactly architecturally consistent. It looked like part Moorish Castle and part German Chateau. So he combined the looks which go together seamlessly. Yeah. And he built it in a spot that was visible for miles. So everyone in the valley could see it. So everyone could see how monstrous it was? Yeah. So people

didn't like it. They called it vulgar looking and an eyesore. So they're not happy with them already. Okay. But Eddie's not close to being done. Oh, Jesus. He had plans with the house. No. Oh, oh, damn it. He decided he was going to build a Middle Eastern themed amusement park to bring tourists to the area. Wow. That is. Okay, Doki. Get on the kidnapping ride where you take four of your children on a ride they don't know about. Lie the whole time to their faces. All right. Get in line. Put the bag on your head. All right. You want to go real fast? Oh, look kids. It's boarding school. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. Get out. We'll be back on the ride to pick you up. Get out. I'll be back in a

minute. He wanted to give people an understanding of his heritage and entertain entertain them. That is so one Sunday after one Sunday afternoon, he's taken a drive and then he sees an island near Peachland. It's a rather barren empty island. Perfect for an amusement park. A lot of rock, a lot of scrub, about five acres. Quote, it looked like the mountains severed misshapen digit where little grew but for a lopsided pine tree. One poor pine tree. How? Okay. And Eddie thought, well, that's the perfect location to build my dream amusement park. He quickly learned the island was not zoned for anything, which meant he could develop in any way he wanted. Okay. The only thing it was known for was the local First Nations

tribe, mythical creature, the West Bank, which is like a Loch Ness type thing that apparently lives in a cave under the island. Pogo, Pogo. Pogo, Pogo? Yeah. Is this the Canadian Ufti Gufti? Pogo, Pogo? It's not, it's not called the West Bank. I thought that sounded weird. There's a whole statue to Ogo Pogo. Have you? Yeah, I've been. I think that was where I, I sincerely think that's where I performed. And first of all, on the marquee, it's a gold flake. Just gold flake would be great. And a stripper opened up and bombed. What? Like they didn't want to see a nude woman. Yeah. So you're back. She was like, she was like you were to Nirvana. Yes. Wow. And then I got on stage and as soon as I hit the mic,

there was a hockey game and someone puts money in O Canada in its entirety place. Do I do my act? Do I take my hat off? What's the angle? Aga, aga. No, if you interrupt O Canada before a hockey game here, they kill you. Legally. In America, we respect the country. So that's right. We inflate it to be the most important thing. You guys will get it. You're close. So any paid the owner of the island $10,000 and he bought the island. It's not really a bargain considered it was like a, you know, rock cupboard island. Yeah. And Ogo Pogo is going to eat his brain. Yeah. Now owning the island, Eddie went to a Peachland town hall meeting in 1971. Not really well received. First, he was the guy who built the big garage

house on the rock on the cliff. I mean, and now he was in a town hall with new plans. One counselor said Eddie was wearing a quote, zoot suit. Oh, that is, that's how you show up. That's how you know you mean business. I doubt. I think he was probably just wearing a colored suit and the guy is like a white racist Canadian guy. And it's with your fucking zoot suit, brown guy. I think it went like that. Was the mask out yet? Oh, it might have been mask. It was mascara. Trying to figure out. I know I shaped my wardrobe after the mask for a year or so. So Eddie went ahead and explained his plans for the new property, Rattlesnake Island. Right. It would be called the Moroccan Shadoo theme park. Oh, I was

worried the name would be crazy. But then so then, okay, so that's fine. The name is fine. Okay, that's a relief because I was like, what is he going to name it? Me amusement park. One, it rolls off the tongue. It's bad. You're not going to forget that one. No, even though I already forgot what it was called. What's it called? The Moroccan Shadoo theme park. There it is. I do look great on a shirt. And he said it would bring together his cultures, his Arabian and Canadian. Right. Okay. It was also exactly the kind of multi culturalism that Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau was championing at the time. Papa bear. Everyone knows the truth. It was bigger than just an island amusement park. Eddie quote, I had

a vision to do something good for the country. Okay. He told the counselors it would have an 18 hole mini golf course, which would be partly on the water as well as on the island. That's so Jesus can play. Yep. Okay. Each hole would celebrate a different aspect of Middle Eastern culture. Oh my God. This is 18 holes. It would wind through two miniature great pyramids. Every 20 feet of there would be a storyteller. Oh my God. As if golf or mini golf doesn't suck enough. We gotta, we gotta slow it down. Yeah. Yeah. Can I have my ball back? Not yet. Sit down. There were three blind travelers. Oh my God. I thought the windmill was hard to get through. Have you heard of Babylonia? I don't want to play anymore.

I'm going to swim back to the regular. I'm going back to Canada. I can't do this. One storyteller would be on a donkey. He's, he's pitching all this at the meeting. Yeah. This is too specific. You just got to be like, I'm building an amusement park. It's going to be great. Then the people will be like, okay, well, let's start talking about the story. Will there be donkeys? There will be a couple of donkeys. Maybe. Yeah. And, but it'll be involved in the storytelling. It's for the storytellers. It's hot in here, huh? It'll be for the story. Maybe it's the zootsuit. I don't know what's going on, but I'm sweating my balls. I should have, maybe it's hot out.

Should have wore sports. Yeah. Another storyteller would be making bread. Won't be long. I mean, it will be. Another would be charming snakes. Oh my God. Hold on. It's not in here. Oh no. Are we talking charming, like hypnotizing or just like, you look really good. Like, hitting on it. Yeah. You know, I'm actually a lot of my good friends are snakes. And so, if you ever want to get together, I'd love to pick your brain a little bit about some of the venom stuff, you know, and how you just look at the enzymes in your mouth. I just find it fascinating. So anyway, here I am rambling, but I'm just a big fan.

And then there were, then there was the, this is crazy. Wait, it's okay. It's weird now. Okay. You know, Dave, you tipped your hand. We know that something strange is about to occur. And then there was the giant concrete camel. 36 feet tall by 26 feet wide with steps that go into his stomach and 39 flavors of ice cream inside. Oh my God. I mean, just like Iraq. Imagine. Imagine the maintenance of such a thing. Where's all the ice cream? Yeah, Eddie, this idea is fucking bananas. I can't. What do you expect from us? Well, we're having a random belly inspection. The scoopers are supposed to be in the water. Yeah, we're done. We are leaving. You're racist. Yeah. I want to build a camel with ice cream in it.

I've got a couple of questions. Is the camel on the water? No, the camel's on the land. Okay. Yeah. Cause that would have been weird. I have a, I also have a question. Has he ever been to an amusement park? No. Okay. Cause so far it feels like he's missing the mark a lot. You know, storytellers at mini golf and an ice cream filled camel. I, this is what happens if a guy goes to a barren island and takes mushrooms. Oh, well, now I'm back on board. I had head trauma recently. Still, this wasn't as weird. Wait, tell him, tell him what happened. I did have a concussion and I was laying on the gurney in the hospital and I actually remembered my life, like in waves. And then I had this moment where I went, he is the president. Oh, it was like election

night all over again. I was just like, oh, I had like a four hour window where things were pretty good. It was, tell him, nurse, who's, what year is it? Who's the president? I'm not allowed to tell you that. You might go into shock. We get the doctor. Hit me on the fucking head again. Harder. You do me first. You do me. Yeah, I had that thought. I was like, wow, he's the president. When you have a concussion, everything you say after people go, is this the concussion? I didn't recognize my daughter. I was out with her one night and she came back and she took her purse and I go, that's my daughter's purse. And I started fighting with it. And then I realized

it was my daughter and she got really upset. And in my head, I was like, this is the coolest magic trick I've ever seen. Hey. I really, everybody else was like, oh, he doesn't know what I was like, do that again. So, Bob, this is going to, I don't know how to say this, but you don't have a daughter. So he isn't the president? Oh, no, he's the president. That remains. Yeah, sorry. So I stole a lady's purse and fought with her pretty much and told her it was your daughter's. I like to say I'm feeling fine. So there was also going to be a swimming pool and restaurants that would serve delicacies from Yemen, also a cave and a pretend submarine. What about a ride, a Ferris wheel in the mix,

or maybe some tea cups? No, you got the pyramids and the talking donkey guy. You don't need a Ferris wheel. Yeah. Even with some opposition from the council, the Peachland council agreed to help with an onshore dock for a water taxi with ferry visitors to the theme park. Wow. But it's still, like I said, it's not zoned, it's his property. And with some people on board, Peachland's mayor, other people are not. Sure. I watched an interview with one guy and he's like, they're going to have boats coming across and people will be throwing their diapers in the lake. Can nobody just be like, you should not have a huge camel with ice cream in its gut. There's just some guy worried about diapers? Yeah. The diaper litter is going to skyrocket.

That's your problem with everything. I'm just telling you, they get confident and then they start throwing their diapers around. You'll see. You're laughing at me now, but you'll see. Are these baby diapers? No. Or adult diapers? I just think Canadians, when they got on boats, they put on diapers. Yeah. That's my understanding. Well, if you're eating ice cream out of a camel's stomach, you might want to have a contingency plan. It's because he's got a diaper selling section. This is where we saw the diapers. Extra small, medium, large. So the people who are against it were very vocal. They wrote letters to local papers, to the counselors. Some said the amusement park would disrupt the peace and quiet of the area. Others were upset that one of the first

things Eddie had done was to begin building a barge made out of tires. What? Here's the thing. The only difference between him and a certifiable crazy person is he has money. Yes. People with money, they are eccentric. Yeah. This guy should have been locked up. Hardly anyone in the area knew the island was privately owned by Eddie, and there was no zoning, and those who did know didn't care. But Eddie moved forward with his plans. He drafted him up, and started building. Eddie didn't hire architects. He just walked around the island and started sketching on his own. By the way, my guess is any architect he was meeting with was like, I'm absolutely passing. What is your plan? I would be all in. Same. I go a camel with ice cream.

36 flavors of ice cream. Perfect, Eddie. That is genius. The biggest local concern of all came from a school teacher and conservationist named Desmond Lone. In his opinion, this was desecration of the land, and Lone was on the town council, he didn't care that Eddie had purchased the land. Lone and the council had already designated the island as a picnic site. What? You know what I want to do? I want to go out, get under that one tree. Just relax. Just lay on that rock. With the tree. One tree. Have a baguette sandwich under the one leaning pine. That's a very Canadian like objection. It's for picnics.

Come on, eh? Good lord. Lone told reporters that this plan would turn Rattlesnake Island into Coney Island, and he loved the valley, and according to his daughter, wanted it turned into a national park. So to him, a ridiculous theme park was horrifying, and he saw Eddie as the guy who just wanted to make money and didn't care about the land. Now a friend who knew Lone said, quote, Des was strongly opposed to the development on Rattlesnake Island, and I believe he disliked Eddie until the day he passed away. But when the guy said that, Lone was still alive, living in an old folks home. Hey, hey, I'm okay still. We miss him. You miss him a lot. I'm back here.

He died slowly. I didn't die slowly. I'm alive. I'm dying slowly. We think you have three hours left. How do you feel about Eddie? He took away my right to picnic. My God, given right to have a sandwich on a blanket with some apple cider that looks like champagne. Oh, so you would say you hate him to the day you die. Yes, but well, I don't know how I'll feel in a few hours. I can't see my opinion changing. Wouldn't mind a little of that camel cream though. Oh, that's possible. That could turn me around maybe. It just squirts out of the penis. I didn't want to say it, but yeah. Well, you gestured like a huge dong was drizzling it on you. What did you think I'd say? You insinuated hard. We should be a charades team.

That was magic. I could I think I could hang on another day. I finally got a purpose. Two words. I'm dying. Oh, how does it work? Oh, oh, oh, oh, dear. Oh, my, you're really locked into this guy. I'm expiring. Oh, I'm going to throw my diaper out. Hold on. Oh, I've become what I lost. You are what you hate. It's so true. So Eddie had an engine engineer drop plans for the theme park. And according to both Eddie and the engineer, it was structurally and environmentally sound. It's not not a lot of carbon coming out of the camel ice cream. Didn't didn't matter. Okay, people protested. There was concern about sewage disposal that would pollute the water supply. And Lone really didn't buy any engineers report.

And Lone was connected. He sent a letter to his brother in law, British Columbia Health Minister, Ray Lofmark. And soon the letter had been spread around four other departments of the Canadian government as well as the provincial chief medical officer and the premier's office. Okay, the premier viral. Yeah. The premier's district included both Peachland and rattlesnake island. And the chief medical officer sent out an internal memo saying they quote could scotch it by export expropriation. Everyone in the local government seemed on board with ending Eddie's theme park idea. It wouldn't be a stretch to say this was in part being done because Eddie was not a white guy. There it is. There it is. And they started putting up roadblocks for the development.

Local government officials began a campaign to stop Eddie. There was suddenly an endless stream of red tape. And some of it was just made up. They just made it up as they went along. And he suddenly needed approval for a sewage system. And it was stalwart bureaucracy. The highway ministry blocked access to the ferry dock, the provincial government retroactively zoned the island as quote a forest and grazing reserve. It did have a tree. Yeah, I mean to be fair. And I got the animals love to eat rocks. Perfect for grazing. Just crunch them down. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the cow has five stomachs. One is a gizzard and it's filled with stones. That's right. The other full of ice cream, I believe if I'm not mistaken. Some jimmies. Yes, sprinkles in one. Yeah.

And whatnot. That's little baseball hats to put it in. Yeah. Quote, at one point municipal affairs tried to stop Eddie by sending him a telegram and forming him an of an amendment to the Pollution Act clearly drafted just to thwart him. But which hadn't even been passed at that point. It was just intimidation, plain and simple. Eddie thought it was bullshit. And he ignored it. The whole time Eddie just kept building. Yeah, I want this thing built. Yeah, I know now you want it. Yeah, big time. Yeah. Yeah. So as far as zoning recent changes had been made that allowed local districts to create and define zoning laws. So the the federal government was like, let's pass it off

to that people's own on their own. But because of bureaucratic nonsense, no one had gotten around to making those laws. So they couldn't stop Eddie building as long as he didn't stop construction for more than 90 days. As long as he didn't. So if he stopped construction and waited 90 days to start up again, then they could stop him. But other than that, that was the only thing. Oh my God, he's not stopping this man as a dream. Yeah. They took Eddie to court three times they lost each time. Eddie, in June 1972 tried to bring several hundred guests as a preview. So he's got some stuff built. He's got I think I think at least one of the pyramids. He's got a lot of the golf course built. There's a fire pit. Fire pit, sure. Camels got only one hump. Oh, the budget

obviously. Just imagine there's two humps. So you guys will be thrown off, but that's actually going to be a two humper by the time we're done. And Eddie's wife at this point is she like, I'm glad we tried this again. This is this makes sense. I'm glad we took another spin. I can see that you worked out whatever problems you were having. I like this new stability. So he throws this preview for it's several hundred guests that he invites. And our CMP officers came and you guys, we love cops. They came and stayed the entire day on the water taxi dock telling people they shouldn't go to the island. So he fucked up his day, but he keeps moving forward. He keeps building. This is very similar to a Billy Jack film. You don't hear that a lot.

Maybe they base it off. I feel they did. I think they, Tom Laughlin owes Eddie some money. We'll take it. So it goes on for three years like this. They're slowing him down. I'm trying to build the thing. They're grinding Eddie down and he felt the country of Canada was conspiring against him. Do you think he just had one of those field of dream voices in his head the whole time? I hope so. If you build a giant ice cream camel. I tried. It just, people think it's so crazy. Going to be weird, but they're going to come. You're the only friend I have. Sorry. The camel's going to come. You want the camel? Yeah. Listen. It's just that I'm alienating everyone around me so much that I hope you're for real because I put bro. Hear me out. I don't like it when you

say bro. It feels weird. It feels like you're okay. Just, just listen to me. Okay. So when the camel comes, I'd rather not hear the rest, but okay. It's not going to be white. It's going to be like a Neapolitan. Oh, just low. So it's like a sample spoon. Yeah. It's, it's just going to come out. Okay. I'll go back to the council there and kids are going to be so happy. I don't know if they, I don't know if the kids should be over there. Should they be near that? No, this is where the kids belong. All right. You're in charge. I hope to meet you someday. Yeah. Yeah. Right now, I'm on my island. But if you just look me up, Epstein. Uh, so at this point, the royal bank heard all about the delays and all the shit with the

construction and they pulled his loans. Okay. The Moroccan shadow theme park was dead. Eddie had spent $170,000. No way to get it back. He can't pay his bills. His finances are, are exhausted by both the construction and the court costs. The fight over the island made him completely focused on winning the battle. That's all you've been focused on. And then because of that, he neglected his family. So finally, Lorraine and had it for real. This is what did it in 1973. She left and took the kids. They just had a new baby and she moved the family to Alberta. They're here tonight. I wouldn't, I just wouldn't, I just wouldn't cheer that much because the whole government situation. Eddie's lawyer told him he could fight for the kids and win,

but he didn't have any money left. Quote, my advice is to go to Victoria and kiss their ass and buy them and let them buy the island and then go back to Edmonton. So the lawyer's like, give up, take the money, go back to your fucking family. It's done. Right. So Eddie gave in, but the government was not about to offer him anything close to what he had already put in. The offer was just 40 K. Wow. So he rejected it. And now he was fucking pissed. Oh, come on. And was really going to build his fucking team. Let's go. Let's go. Build it. So Eddie held a press conference. Yes, of course. Why not? I hope you bitches like camels. Because now there's going to be a bunch of camels. Let me tell you, bitch, 64 flavors.

That's all he is announcing. I'm here to announce something huge. We're doubling the flavor in the camel. Two cocks. One hump, two cocks. Take that God. That's okay with me. Hey, who's the other guy I keep talking to? He's that's Bert. Has he on the up and up? No. Oh, well, I've spent three years. He's a come freak. That came across. I only made one of him.

He's bad. I put him on an island. Well, I'll see you. I'm a little turned on. I'm not getting involved in anything like this. Let's keep it where it is. Focus, focus. Excuse me. Sorry, I'm getting a little weird. Yeah, super. I've been huffing Gus gas racks. Sorry. Sorry. Do you think huffing Gus tracks? Yeah, I've been huffing Gus. Do you know Gus? Oh, I don't know who Gus is, but I think I want to hit so you'll suppress conference

and one reporter shows up. Yes, down front. You again. Yeah, you don't need to look around any longer. We're pretty. He's from the Kelowna Capital News and Eddie goes ahead with the press conference. First, pulled out a birthday cake and he lit the candles and he said it was for his estranged children's birthdays and then he blew it out. Would you wish? Never mind. We're going to start this one out really sad. According to the only reporter, Eddie said, quote, if he were not allowed to proceed with his development, he would drink human blood and eat human flesh to mark a black day for Canada.

How do you transition from birthday cake to that? That is, what's your segue? Okay. Speaking of eating things. So the reporter was like, I am glad I showed up to this shit. Slow down. Okay. And he spoke about the conspiracy against him by the government, but no one bought it. Everyone thought Eddie had lost his mind because he said he'd drink blood and eat person. Yeah, there's that. Also the conspiracy talk. It's all crazy to everybody. So obviously Eddie's been fucking losing it over the island battle. Two years ago, he'd been a rich guy with a family to now a poor man who owned a barren island. He had no family.

He believed the government's conspiring against him mostly because the government was literally conspiring against him. He pursued his theme park, but his goals had changed where he once wanted to share his culture and make a place for people to have fun. He now wanted to build the Moroccan Shadoo theme park purely for revenge. So he's making fuck you island. Way on board. And his thoughts began to turn to violence. Oh, no. Oh. Lorraine knew this and she said it's one of the reasons she left. Years later, she would write a book about their relationship and she wrote that Eddie was physically abusive, sexually crazed and a swindler. But the book is also a serious anti-Muslim hate fest,

painting the entire Middle East as a festival of honor killings and full of fundamentalists. So it's hard to take what she said seriously. Eddie and Lorraine's son Lee said his father's truth is closer to reality and his mother's truth is the lesser truth. Okay. He said Eddie's more in reality. Yeah. Okay. I just want to make sure I heard that right. Yeah. It's not a great. Lee says you think my dad's nuts. Mom. Yeah. Mom was to lose Canada to the bunch. Really? Oh, yeah. She was nuts. Oh my God. So at this point, Eddie essentially had one close friend in British Columbia. His name was Ralph Ashutan. And he told Ralph he was going to the Middle East for six weeks and there he would use his political connections to get support for his theme park

cause. He planned to even visit King Abdullah. Oh boy. And he was going to get all of his political connections to write letters saying that he was great and they supported him and his theme park and he hoped this would quote shame the British Columbia government into letting him build his park or offer him a better deal. Okay. So he gets how things work. Yeah. Yes. Right. You get a bunch of letters from a bunch of Lebanese, uh, you know, parliament guys leverage and then in Canada they're like, Oh, okay. Sorry. We didn't know you were great. Uh, we apologize. Uh, so he went to the Middle East. Sure enough, he got letters from Lebanese ministers, including former Lebanese prime minister, Amin Al-Hafiz. And then he flew back to Canada. Eddie says the day he got back,

shooting came to his house unannounced, which was very weird because no one knew he was back yet. Okay. And Eddie said he then decided to test shooting because he thought something was up. He said he'd come back with quote, six letter bombs. What a test. So crazy start. And he told shooting, he needed him to get official RCMP envelopes so he could send the letter bombs and they would get through. Okay. Now shooting is not anybody official. He's just a dude. Right. So shooting, it was like, yeah, that sounds good. I'll go get the envelopes and it didn't take him long. He came back that same morning with the official envelopes. Okay. And so then you're like, wait, are you out of your mind?

What are you doing? We can't do that. Which was even more suspicious to Eddie. And he was right to be suspicious because Eddie had been, uh, talking in violence this for a little while as he became unraveled, which led the RM RCMP to put him under surveillance and then said shooting, who was actually an undercover cop to become his friend. Wow. His only friend. Yeah. Is an undercover cop. Yeah. You got to take him where you can get him. Pass. So shooting introduced himself pretending to be an angry ex flight attendant who wanted revenge on the on an airline for firing him for taking money from ticket sales. What a dumb backstory. It's the worst backstory. Like a man like Donnie Brass going, but you're like a flight attendant. Now when he asked you

about that, you're going to need to say you did service three times with the cart. Wait, what? And then you pick up the trash with the plastic bag. He's going to know this shit. How do you put on the life vest? How do you put on the life vest? Oh, fuck. The mask strap. Who do you put it on first? The kid or you? Who gets the mask? I do. Yes. And then what do you do? Put it on the kid. Sit down and put it on your seatbelts. Oh, for God's sake. Would you like a Coke? Better. We're getting there. We only have Pepsi. Good. All right. We'll come back tomorrow. We'll hammer this little more. We're going to get you there. You can't smoke in the bathroom. You can't smoke on the goddamn plane in the plane. Stop hitting that lady's seat.

And remember, ask permission before you recline. That's how we do it now. Turn around to your neighbor and say, may I recline? And when he says, no, go fuck you. I paid for this fucking seat. Did you not know what this was before you got on it? It's a fucking plan and seats move two inches. Oh, God, I can't handle the two inches. We need to isolate the clip where Dave said, oh, God, we can't handle two inches. He just said that. Now it's all over Twitter. Oh, that's my phone. Oh, we need two inches. Oh, we need two inches. Oh, we need two inches. What's up, Dave? How you doing, buddy? I like with all the come talk I've done. That's the one thing that you think...

Quit being so buzzful about all your come talk. Still, now Eddie's saying he thought that shooting was acting suspicious, doesn't completely add up because later that day, Eddie, after all this, he still goes to Eddie's house with all the envelopes, which were addressed to the Premier, Lorraine, and quote his other and sworn enemies. Is that just what's written on the address? Other sworn enemies. It's okay, Eddie. I know who they are. He'll know what I mean. Eddie claims he did this to test shooting's loyalty, which turned out to be a bad idea because cops were waiting right outside the house to arrest him as soon as he walked out the door.

It was a prank. Shouldn't reported that Eddie said he wanted to get an M14, 100,000 rounds of ammo and grenades. He said he had made contacts with an explosives expert in the States. That's easy. And that he had a few passports and had made connections with gorillas. Okay. Now, I assume those are actual gorillas. Yeah, real gorillas. I don't know. I've been talking to Coco. She's so smart. She's very excited. Coco's super on board. She says, I love you and I want more ice cream. Uh-huh. Yeah. You know, I don't, you know, Robin Williams was my pal and he met Coco twice. That video's amazing. But the first time he meets Coco, Coco saying, and then the second time he met Coco, they just, she's signing to Robin and then they, the Wranglers grabbed Robin and pulled him

out of the cage and they go, he's like, what did, what did, what did she say? And she said she wanted to take you in the back. And he goes, well, what would have happened then? He goes, anything Coco wanted to. Coco wanted to fuck more. I mean, she was enamored. Yeah. Yeah. Like to be like, may I have him? No, Coco, get, get, Robin, get out of here. Get the fuck out of here. Let me just say, I got it. That's amazing. That's a really weird name drop story. No, it's cool. Yeah. It's like Kevin Bacon. But if you're, if you're in charge, you let that happen for the stand up bit. I don't know if he's standing up much after that. That's an all time. That is amazing though. That video and then they tell Coco of his passing and Coco was genuinely

like, yeah, but, but, you know, I, I don't, he, when he had a heart problem and they, they put a pig valve and that was like, I was like talking to him, people were and he's like, you know, they gave me a pig valve and I was like, well, what's wrong with that? He goes, oh, I wanted a tenacious valve. Like I wanted that chimp that ripped that woman's face off. I wanted, I wanted that chimp's valve is what he said. And I was like, oh, he's okay. He's going to be okay. Yeah. Oh fuck. So where are we? Vancouver. What? Vancouver. Right. Vancouver. So, uh, so they, they arrest him and with the letters, they think that, you know,

this ties them to all the statements he's made. You know, it makes it worse. They have physical evidence to go with the threats. Right. Um, and they're going to put them away for a long time, but then they open the letters and they're just letters. Although they're the ones from the politicians, like he said, although Eddie had wrapped each letter in cloth, so it would seem really heavy. Uh, he claims this was a prank. So he really did claim it was a prank. Yeah. It's a goof. I'm having fun with you guys. So they would think they're a bombs, a quote, I wanted to show them they were fools, but they hit Eddie with 37 charges. Court documents stated the letter bombs were, quote, duds, but realistically resembled letter bombs. What? And that he told Chuten that they

were indeed letter bombs, but Eddie said he meant they were bombs in the sense that the letters would have a big impact. Oh, wow. That is like, he meant that he meant that they were dope. Yeah. Yeah. He's just dropping truth bombs. The bomb. They pushed for the judge to declare Eddie insane. Bold move. Yeah. What evidence do they have? So the judge would not give him bail and he spent six months in jail where he worked as a barber. Things. Yeah. Full circle. Yeah. It is the circle in life. So prison was hell. Quote, prison was a nightmare. His dream home was destroyed in a suspicious fire. The insurance renewal form hadn't reached him in jail. So he had no coverage. So his house is gone. Wow. That's

crazy. Over a month, several court ordered psychiatrists testified that Eddie was delusional and believed, quote, there was a conspiracy on behalf of certain people in the government to thwart his business attempts. Really crazy. What was the evidence? True. Yeah. One doctor said his behavior was due to a cultural background, quote, that accepts violence as a way of life. While there was a recess during a hearing, the government once again pressured Eddie to take the $40,000 for the sale of Rattlesnake Island, which is an odd thing to do to a man you've just been trying to declare legally insane because that means it wouldn't hold up. But weird. The government did it anyway. Now, Eddie just wanted it all over and he thought it would

help. So he agreed to sell his island. Damn it. Quote, they adjourned for 15 minutes and they brought me the paper and asked me to sign. I would have sold it back for a dollar, anything to get the hell out of there. But they didn't let him go. Four other doctors said Eddie had paranoid schizophrenia and other psychoses. So, yeah, they're all lining up against him. Right. Now, he was constantly being moved between different jails. Pretty much everything he had was gone. But as the case went on, his threats were clearly either delusional or hyperbole and charges kept being dropped and dropped and dropped and dropped. So by the time the case was done, by the time they were ready to prosecute, he was only charged with one misdemeanor,

possessing two child-sized brass knuckles. Who makes brass knuckles for kids? It's the Lebanese. Oh my God. These are like from Bugsy Malone. These are the mean kids. Here's why this is all based on racism. Because they had a problem with his camel. And they're like, you can't build a camel. It's going to take away from our giant sea serpent statue. Indeed, yes. It turns out he had bought the child-sized brass knuckles for 15 cents in Lebanon to give to his son, Lee. That's just a good dad. Who was actually 30, but he had little tiny hands. Yeah. Yeah. Little tiny hands. And Lee still said the mother was the crazy one. Yeah. Yeah. So Eddie just wanted to plead guilty at this point to the misdemeanor and have it over

with, and then he'd get a fine and walk out of court. Sure. That certainly is what would have happened in any normal situation. But the judge found Eddie, in soon, insane, insane due to his beliefs of a conspiracy and crazy claims that he was a danger to the people he'd threatened, particularly government officials, even though all of the, even though all of the case fell apart. It's such that, I mean, amazing to make a person paranoid about that shit and then be like, you seem a little paranoid. Are you okay? But the one thing he wasn't crazy about is the thing they attacked him for. Yeah. Yes. And they're literally still doing it. It was a prank. They're literally still doing it. Like they're doing it now saying there's a conspiracy against them.

Wow, there's a conspiracy in the courtroom. Right. So he was put into a notorious mental facility, Riverview. We got some alumni. Yeah. Yeah. Shout out. Where he was with residents like William Lapine, who went on a killing spree after he escaped in 1972. But he was with literally fucking, you know, people were out of their minds. Eddie cut hair, he did arts and crafts. He built a very detailed miniature plywood glue model of a development, which he told was a mock up of Rattlesnake Island. Never let it go. Yeah. An attorney who held, who helped many people who were stuck in Riverview, Robert Gardner took up Eddie's case and got him released after 12 months. Jesus. Eddie was under the impression part of the deal was that he had to leave the country, even

though it wasn't part of the deal, but clearly they, someone told him. Right. So before leaving, Eddie took his plywood miniature model to a construction firm called Syncloid Metal Products, and he pretended he was a Lebanese businessman and showed the model to the president of the firm, who became very excited about building this project overseas. So Eddie convinced the president he was going to raise millions of dollars through his connections in the Middle East, and they would build it in Lebanon. And the guy, the head of the firm actually considered opening up an office in Beirut to help, you know, facilitate. This allowed Eddie to get to Lebanon and operate like a man who had an actual project going on. Right. And this allowed him to spend a lot of time at the

Canadian consulate going over plans. Right. He also convinced his cousins in Lebanon to help him. And then on February 23rd, he spent there about six months, 1976, Eddie and his cousins entered the underground parking lot of the Canadian embassy in Beirut, and he was holding an AK-47. Oh, Jesus Christ. And his cousins all had guns. This is getting a little dark. Yeah. Maybe he wasn't kidding about the litter bombs. He told two of his cousins to go to the third floor. Another cousin was told to hold the elevator, while another went with Eddie to the second floor. Eddie charged up the stairs through the steel doors and pointed an AK, his AK-47, at the first guy he saw, who turned out to be an old guy who was just sitting in a chair waiting for a visa. Eddie

quotes, stand up, put your hands behind your back and put your face to the wall. The man did not know what was happening and just sat there. And then Eddie repeated it in Arabic and the guy fell to his knees and begged for God's mercy. Embassy staff came out to find what all the commotion was and they discovered they were under some sort of attack. One staff member had met Eddie a few times since he arrived in Lebanon. They had discussed how he could sell construction materials on behalf of a Canadian manufacturer. And the staffer looked at Eddie and went, is this a joke? Yes, another prank. Two for two. You had the look on your face. You were so freaked. Would it been so bad to just let him make his park? Yeah. Eddie hit the guy with the butt of his AK and

then they led everyone into a stairwell onto the third floor. There were around 20 diplomats, staff and Canadian citizens. On the third floor his cousins already had more hostages. So all together there were 33 hostages. But the one Eddie wanted, I don't know why to say this, Chargé des Affaires to the air region was not there. Eddie quote, where's Sullivan staff? He's not here Eddie, bullshit. I saw him from my apartment because for the last six months Eddie had been living across the street from the building watching all of the Canadian staff and what they did constantly. Oh my God. It's very normal. No. So Eddie knew there was only one place Sullivan could be hiding and that was in his office. They went to the office

and it's empty. But then he sees a pant leg sticking out. He sees a peg leg? A pant leg. A pant leg. He had a pant leg and he sees a parrot. Okay. We're under here. You fucking shit. And he pulls on the leg and tells him to come out and Sullivan crawls out on his hands and knees. And he took him to where the other hostages were, quote, if anyone has a weapon throw it down. Otherwise you'll be wiped out. No one had one. Eddie then lowered his gun and he said to Sullivan, quote, I didn't come here to hurt you because if any of you get hurt I'll be the first to lose. I came here to ask for your help. Here's my story. And then Eddie started by telling him that he was a descendant of the Hamor dynasty. Oh my God. They had ruled Yemen in 3080. Eddie,

we closed at seven. Can we, maybe the cliff notes would be nice. So he tells him the whole story of his life. And after listening to Eddie's story, Sullivan called Ottawa. And Eddie demanded to speak with Prime Minister Trudeau, but that didn't happen. Sorry, he's putting on blackface. Big event. But Sullivan was given permission to negotiate with Eddie on the other demands that he had. Now, according to London Times, there was a public apology from the crown and from the psychiatrist who declared him insane. $500,000. That's a good way to get an apology from a psychiatrist that you're not insane. I was so mistaken, Eddie. What a crazy thing for me to think. Anyway, let the hostages go. He wanted $500,000 for the island. He wanted a pardon from

the Lebanese government for what he was doing right now. When you're negotiating for your current crime. And he wanted custody of his kids. Okay. Well, surely he's going to get that either way. What are the cousins doing? What's in it for them? It's like, I don't know. And can you get me a car? Eddie, ask for maple syrup. And we demand to think of maple syrup. Two things. And a hockey puck. Let's not get crazy. So the Canadian government says they never considered the demand for the kids. But Lee, who was 14 at the time, heard his mom talking on the phone to the Canadian Ministry of Defense. Lee quote, we were scared. We thought we were going to get traded and would have to go back there.

We were just thinking, are we going to get traded for hostages? Oh my God. Hey guys, you miss daddy? What? Another government official said she was told that day that a plane was actually waiting to take Lorraine and the children to Lebanon. So even though the government said they did not, they were clearly negotiating. Yeah. Wow. Now there's total panic in Lebanon. Because Lebanon is on the brink of a civil war. That amusement park is going to help. Get a little camel ice cream. And so suddenly things don't seem so crazy. So nobody, so nobody knows who's doing this or what's happening. So all the militias start rolling down towards the Canadian embassy.

They showed up from all, so all the militias from all sides showed up. They had rocket lunkers, rocket launchers. They had tanks. Tanks? That they're literally in the neighborhood, like all squaring off. Signal. And everyone's getting concerned that if it continues much longer, Eddie might literally be responsible for kicking off the Lebanese civil war. Well, who needs an amusement park when you've got that under your belt? Just let him build a park. Yeah, let him build it. So wait, how, how did the Lebanese civil war start again? Okay, so it's a really big camel. Have you ever golfed with a snake charmer? Would that be something? Have you ever had to wait to play through for bed to bake?

Bread to bake? Hey, like me. By the way, if you just dialed down the ideas a lot, yeah, yeah, they would have let him build the park. Yeah. It's miniature golf. You like miniature golf? Great. Yeah. Dad, don't mention the snake charmers. I've got them now for the big closer. If he had been like, it's going to be a big hockey stick and there's ice cream inside. Yeah. They're on board. Yeah. Beavers. So after 14 beavers, after 14 hours, the demands are agreed to. He gets amnesty for taking the hostages. Wow. Wow. He could return to Canada and, and fight for compensation of his land. Do you know he's representing Weinstein right now?

The government agreed to an apology. He was only fined a very small amount for what he had done and he came back to Canada a free man. That he really did? Yeah. What kind of, that is the most Canadian negotiation ever. Like in any other country, you'd be like, give us the gun, you dumb fuck. All right. No, not of it, but in Canada, like, hey, it deals a deal. They're like, Hey, he was mad. Good work. Come on over. Good work. Well, now we've got to apologize to this guy. We're so sorry. He's, well, then he came back to the same valley and, and now people are like, he was hard done by like, they were, now they're like, respecting him. They're like, well, the guy had a hard time. We treated him great.

This is not how you curb gun violence. It's a feel good story where everybody wins. So he returns, he builds a small house after borrowing some money from friends. And after a while, he finds a lawyer, one who loved to take on the establishment. House had only one elevator. Tough cutbacks. It doesn't go up or down because there's just one floor, but we got the elevator. Go ahead. Now you can push a button. The doors will close and they'll open. It's a ranch house. Oh, look, there you are. It's, it costs a lot of money. So after 10 years, his case was heard before the British Columbia Supreme Court in Vancouver on August 7th, 1986. And when it was over, quote, Justice Gordon McKinnon delivered a devastating

judgment concluding the government had conspired against Eddie Hamer and harassed him into poverty and a mental institution. Wow. Yay. The judge wrote a 75 page settle down judge judgment slamming the government, quote, pressing him to sell the property at a low price during his criminal proceedings was unconscionable. At least six government departments were part of the conspiracy. The actions were, quote, highly improper, illegal, and even cruel. Eddie was awarded $155,000, but then there was a further investigation by a provincial ombudsman and he got another $140,000. And a public apology from the government. Now Eddie was 56. He got married again and divorced

again. It's not too late. He used the money to build Casa Hamer, a bed and breakfast and restaurant. It was like a small version of his island plan. He would greet guests sometimes in Arab style robes. We've got a yak that has three ice creams in it. He had a statue made of himself pointing at rattlesnake island. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. The middle finger. rattlesnake on is now was now part of a park. Eddie for the next 25 years mythologized himself and truly believed he would be taught to children in Canadian textbooks. Well, that's very possible. But he was pretty much just forgotten. He has spent recent years trying to get writers to turn his story into a movie. John Lazarus wrote a play about his life, but after 9-11 said it was

really difficult to make people feel for a guy who took over the Canadian embassy with guns. You did it. Wait, I'm like... You feel like you have a concussion again? If dog day afternoon was Canadian, it would have ended a lot happier. Yeah, 100%. You're not so good. Yeah. Only Canadians are like, we get it. You took over the embassy with guns. It's fine. We're sorry. We're the bad guys. We're sorry. We didn't let you build your park. We're sorry. Would you like to meet the cast of the grassy? Snake. This is Eddie. Spike. This is Eddie. Caitlyn. This is Eddie. He knows the names. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's deep. So Eddie's still alive. A full length document. Come on out.

Oh, if... Oh, my God. Throwing a diaper right away. Eddie, no. That's the thing they warned us about. That's what they feared, Eddie. That's what they feared. That's the very thing. A documentary was just made about him. It's only been... It was just shown at the Victoria Film Festival last week. That's the first place it premiered. So it's not out anywhere yet, but it's called Eddie's Kingdom. So maybe a movie will be made at the end. So that's it. That's his story. The main sources of this are an article for 18bridges.com called Eddie Hamar Immigrant Terrorism. That's not what it's called. That's just the link. Sorry. But it's written by Omar Mualim. I'm pretty glad it's not called that. Yeah. And then also a book called

Dead Ends, BC Crime Story by Paul Wilcox. Wow. We got to build this island. Yeah. We got to what? We got to build it. Oh, the article's called The Kingdom of Hamar. So yeah, that's the craziest. I was just reading all kinds of your history, which is fucked up, but I was like, this is fucking insane. Yeah. If you had told me at the beginning that I would be heavily on that guy's side, I don't know. You crazy. I was like, what are you talking about? Well, so when he did it, there wasn't... Terrorist wasn't a word. Like he came back and some gunman took over a place. Right. If he'd been labeled a terrorist back then, it would be totally different. But back then,

they're like, Eddie got mad. He was a gunman with some other gunman. He was disgruntled. Yes, he was disgruntled. But even then, like even if terrorism had been a thing or terrorist had been a word, I don't think it would be overused or manipulated in a way where you would just start being xenophobic and people just for no reason. No, I don't think that would be... I mean, the manipulation on that level, I mean, it would take sociopaths to actually push that through and make that a wrinkle in our society and something that continues in snowballs and seems like it's never ending because it's perpetuated by the people that are in charge. It would just be crazy. Once you can tie an ethnicity to a certain bad act or some sort of illness or don't eat Chinese

food. Yeah, right. Insummation. Get a fucking Chinatown, get some Chinese food. All their fucking businesses are closing. Jesus Christ. They're not here. It's happening all over the world. Australia, England, like everywhere. And while we're doing it... What? Yeah, good. You should. And while we're at it, guys, by Corona beer, they're hurting. They really talk about a victim, a corporation that's taking it on the chin. This whole story just reminded me of a story that I don't think I ever shared on a public level. Oh, God. Considering the shit you have shared, I'm terrified. Do you know the dinosaur on the way to Palm Springs? Yes. The one that's in Pee Wee. The Pee Wee dinosaur, yeah. So I went in there and now it's owned by these Christians that believe that the

earth was created in six days. And they have a night on a dinosaur. Are they suggesting that nights and dinosaurs existed at the same time? And there's a chimp in there too. There's a chimp? Yeah. A chimp? A live chimp? No, no. That would be weird. And then... So I went in there. And so now it's owned by these Christians, right? And I was up in the top of the dinosaur and I was with a woman who was, I would say, how about if I just say artistic? And so she wanted me to take artistic... I'm trying to make me look like the victim, but the reality, I was fine with this. Take some artistic photos in the T-Rex head. Sure. So she was topless in that dinosaur head and I was taking pictures and then things got a little heated up and I was being serviced in the

head of that dinosaur. Yeah. You got head in the head? So... In a Christian dinosaur? And what was the night saying about all this? So then as this is going out, I'm seeing this view out the dinosaur's mouth and if I was filming this, now I would have a snap zoom on my face and then I'd have a flashback to buying the ticket because behind the guy there was a monitor, the same view that I'm watching. So somewhere there's footage of me like this going... I don't know how to describe that for the listeners. Me turning around looking into a lens of a camera with a horrified expression and then I go, we got to go and we ran out of the park and it was great. Like all the doors were locked and we had to go buy that guy that we bought the ticket

from. How are you? Is everything going? And my friend Caitlin was yelling at me, she goes, you could be on like a sex offender's list if they got you... I go, wait, nobody was there. It's a park for kids. It's a chimp and a knight and a dinosaur hanging out. I'll get my dick sucked in it if I like that. I think the fundamental just Christians would have just rolled with it. Yeah. I'm sure they wouldn't have been pissed. There's no way they're showing that tape in churches right now going, this is what they're like. This is police academy. Yeah. Well, and then you show Trump and you're like, and this is a shepherd of goodness from the Bible. This is the man the Testament spoke of. I wasn't hot to trot. So I think the writing is on the wall. Yeah. I don't

know why I've never told that story. Well, because it's a sex crime. Yeah, that's probably why. That was it. Yeah. There's probably a statute of limitations. I'm open that. I hope at least they wipe the hard drives every once in a while. Oh, they wipe something. But you know, oh, that poor guy's got to clean the inside of the dinosaur. Honestly, at this point in my life, yeah, that would be pretty fun. Yeah, that court case that I agree. Yeah, I would just be recapping a dinosaur theme park versus you for the blowjob. Yeah, I'd watch that. They probably don't want that publicity. You do. Yeah, I just want to live in the same neighborhood as you where you walk up and knock on my door ago. So I'm a sex criminal. I came on a dinosaur and a night and a chimp.

I got I got I didn't complete. Oh, then you're fine. It was the beginning of getting blown in the head of the dinosaur that was in Pee Wee's big adventure. I also like how you had to run away from the theme park much like how Pee Wee had to exit. I like the fact that Paul Rubens was there and I'm responsible for the weirdest thing that went down. Thank you guys so much. Give it up for Bobcat Gulfway. Thank you, Canada. Thank you, Vancouver. We appreciate it. Thank you guys. Appreciate it, truly.