The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 428 - The Anti-Masons
Episode Date: May 6, 2020Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the Anti-MasonsSourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch...
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You're listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is a
bilingual American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story
from American history to me and me go. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the
topic is going to be about. We are a bilingual podcast as we are done in
Spanish. Not by us. But people who are bilingual say they're very much enjoying
our Spanish friends take on it. Spanish speaking friends. It's strange
because you called it a bilingual podcast for a while before that was in
motion. Well, if you, I'm a people don't know this but I'm a huge, I mean my
whole life is based around the book The Secret and I feel like if I just put
stuff out there, if I put stuff out there it'll happen. Isn't that right my
nemesis? I'm not your nemesis. Stop saying that one. I just complimented you. Call me
your nemesis. Well, you bring people in and then you stab them. What? Who raised
you? You bring people close and then you cut their goddamn throat. You're the
only guy who for sure should be quarantined for a long time. And then you
watch them bleed out on the floor while you laugh. Your maniacal little
laugh and your cat drinks the blood. What is your deal? Because you are evil
incarnate. Are you talking about me?
And called it quote is jam-packed. Jam-packed? I'm the fucking hippo guy.
Babe, okay. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not
gonna become a tiggly podcast. Okay. This is like anarchy. And a five-part
coefficient. Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep
though, hippo. That's like though hippo. Action part. Hi, Gary. No. Has he done, my
friend? No, no, no. Rona, Rona in the court.
The 1500s. Whoa, whoa. The Freemason organization formed in England and
Scotland. Whoa. Your boys. Okay. It was a guilt for stone workers. They used
secret words and symbols to prove they were legit. Okay. Okay. So it's a way to
protect the work from outsiders trying to get into stonework, right? You don't want
some new stone. They're hiding their stone secrets in the club, essentially.
That's right. They're yeah, they're hiding their stone secrets and then they
know who they can trust other stone workers. Okay. Right. Right. Gotcha. But
it wasn't long before the organization became more of a social organization
focused on philosophical discussions. Soon, many members were not stone
counters at all. They're just bros hanging out. So that's a strange
transition when you open it up. Okay. But they continue to use the system set up
by the stone masons using secrecy to help others members get work and in
society. Right. So they keep in the secret like handshakes and the secret
whatever symbols. Right. Clipping it all together. Right. The first official
lodge was organized in Scotland in 1599. Oh, man. I can only imagine what a
clever psychopath that was. The first Grand Lodge was set up in 1717 in London
during a Freemason's meeting at a pub called the Goose and Gridiron. Sure. Yeah,
that checks out as a yep. Tits. Yeah, it's got an ampersand, which I believe is
what a pub needs. Yeah. I mean, you always have a you have a welcome to the
log and fire. All you need is an ampersand. This is the car and motor. Yeah.
All right. Hello. This is the food and ketchup. I think you're doing it wrong
because you're putting things together that should be together as opposed to
like this is the hog and boat. Right. Right. Right. This is the Coca Cola and
hedgehog. That's it. At the time, there were four lodges in London since the
organization was amazing, by the way, to imagine a time when there were four
places. Since the organization was organization was secret, conspiracies
about Freemasons started to run wild. Since they were not religious and
secret, the Catholic Church was not down with the idea of the Freemasons. The
I know you don't want to know there. You don't want another group horning in on
your fucking. I mean, the idea that the Catholic Church is siding anyone being
like they're shady. Gotta have a gotta have control. I mean, that's what
completely what it is, obviously, but still the idea that I mean, that's how
you know you're on to a good secret society when the Catholic Church is
like, excuse me. No. What did they say? No. Oh, it's a spicy meatball. Can you
get out of here? You're the worst. You're like a spicy meatball trying to
give it up. People are mutable. You like a pasta. Oh my God. In 1738, Pope
Clement, the 12th, issued the Catholic Church. How does that work with all the
12s and the 11s and the... That means there had to... Was there an echelon or
are they just grabbing it out of thin air? No, it means there had to have been 11
before him. Jesus Christ. You can't go from like four to 12. You
gotta have a bunch of guys in between. I've never heard of any of the
Clements. They were really big in the early 14s and stuff. Okay. So he
issued the Church's first decree against Freemasonry, which is still in place
today. Okay. Why let that go? Yeah. Well, I mean, so far, if it's the Catholic
Church and another organization, I for the most part will go with the other
organization. Pretty much. Still, Freemasonry quickly spread across Europe
and into the American colonies. Masonic lodges began popping up in the
colonies in the early 1700s and they quickly gained power and influence.
Masons were almost all middle-class, upper-middle-class gentlemen, rich
guys, doctors, lawyers, businessmen, guys with influence who could help other guys
with influence. Yeah, here we go. Now we're rolling. The first colony, Masonic
Lodge, was formed in Philadelphia in 1730. Benjamin Franklin was a founding
member. Whoa, Benny F. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Former president. That's right. George
Washington was just 21 on August 4th, 1753, when he became a master Mason. What
is that? What does that mean? It's the highest basic Freeman rank, although you
can get what are known as, you can go up in degrees. So, you get the, that's the
highest rank, but then there's ranks and there's degrees. So, you can keep getting
more degrees. Okay. Yeah. But he's a pretty high up degree for 21. Well, for 21, I
mean, he was a super rich dude. So, you know. I can picture Benjamin Franklin in
the clubhouse walking around without bottoms on a lot. Yeah. Well, you know, I
believe, wasn't it him that air bathed? What? Is that true? I think, yeah, I think
he would air bath. He'd like to just hang it. That's what, that's what he called
hanging out naked. Air bathing. Yeah. I hope he was mixing it up with other
bathing. No. Try it right now. Try to air bath? Yeah. Sure. Wait a second. I'm not
falling for that two weeks in a row. Nice try, I asked. I also, I do have to
wonder why when we do this, the camera is pointed at your groin. What? Because it's
funny. It's like my dick saying all this stuff. So, quite a few founding members
of Freemasons. It's believed that 21 guys who signed the Declaration of
Independence were Masons. This is, see, this is where it starts to get, this is
where, now this is already troubling. The Constitution and Bill of Rights both
appear to have been heavily influenced by Masonic beliefs, such as freedom, free
enterprise and a limited role for the state. Okay. Well, I believe that we've
changed that because now it seems like the state's role is unlimited. Well, it's
extremely limited, almost like it doesn't exist. No, no, it's like, well, it's kind
of a catch-22 if you're a state. Do everything but funnel it through the man
who says he's your boss now. 13 of the 39 men who signed the Constitution were
Masons. Wow. Yeah, that's, that's like a third, if I know what numbers are. You do
and that's crazy. Over the years, the Masons became more powerful, particularly
in New York state. DeWitt Clinton became governor of New York in 1825. Okay. He was
the grandmaster of the Grand Lodge of New York. There's too many like echelons. So
now that's important, obviously. Yeah. Well, he's actually, he was at the time
the highest ranking Mason in the United States. Okay. All right. Okay. One estimate
of New York concluded half of publicly held offices were occupied by Masons. Oh my
God. Are you scared? I, it's, I don't want to say anything because I don't want
them to not like me. I think it's great. William Morgan was born in Culpepper,
Virginia in 1774. He was a bricklayer and a stone cutter before setting up money
to open a store in Richmond. The dream. Okay. Right. He claimed to have fought in the
war of 1812 as a captain, but there are no records of a Captain William Morgan in
the militia roles. Seems like something you'd document probably. Yeah. Still, he,
he would call himself Captain Morgan. Hello, I'm Captain Morgan. Oh my God. I
can't believe I missed that one. That's crazy. Captain Morgan. That was a huge
miss. In 1819, he married Lucinda Pendleton. Okay. He was 45 and she was 19. It's
disgusting. Well, you gotta be drinking spiced rum to get to that place. Oh, the
things you talk about with your 19 year old lover. I can't like I what the fuck
would I say to a 19 year old? Can you imagine that? I know I can't imagine just I
just can't imagine talking to one just sounds painful. Yeah, like I'll go. Yeah,
like that's that's very I'll stop talking. They had two kids in 1821. Well, three
including her. In 1821, they moved north to York, Canada. While living there, he
ran a brewery, but then a fire destroyed the building and Morgan found himself
living in poverty. This is where he comes up with the spiced rum? Yes. According to
author Andrew Burt, he quote, had moved his family relentlessly throughout
the countryside, hauling his wife Lucinda and two young children from one failed
venture to the next. That's cool. So he was ready to settle down for sure. Yeah.
So my man's getting desperate, right? He's going from job to job, place to place, can't
put it together. Kids birthday party. It's coming. That's what I did. He's gonna
dress up like a clown for kids birthday parties or a Superman or whatever. What
was your favorite costume? Spider that I would dress up in Spider-Man. Told you
evidence of that. Spider-Man face covered nice thin layer of latex. Yeah. I just
forget. I just try to forget that all the time. Sure. Smart. After some time, they
ended up living in Rochester, New York, and then the town of Batavia. He went back
to his very first skill and worked as a bricklayer and stone cutter. This is
where this is the gateway. By at this point, he was a really big drinker and
gambler. He had a poor reputation and was not doing great as he wrote quote, the
darkness of my prospects robs my mind and extreme misery my body. Honey, what are
you writing in there? Nothing. Just word to myself. You said a bunch of it out
loud. There are not enough tears for the weeping I must do. Honey? Yes. Sorry, did
you just say that there were not enough tears for them? No. I'm just writing. What
are you writing? Who are you writing to? I'm writing in blood into this book. Oh
my god. It's called my future book. Jesus Christ. Why does it say the secret on
the cover? Trying to make stuff come true, honey. Okay.
Porridge is almost ready. But what's that? I said the dinner porridge is almost ready. Our porridge for supper is almost ready. It's
pretty much all we're eating because you've lost everything. But it's also
normal for the time. All right, I'm gonna go make a bath in the living room. That
seems logical too. Morgan became friends with David C. Miller, who was the
publisher of the Republican Advocate. It was a paper that was in opposition to
Governor, the governor and Miller had been publishing the paper for over a
decade, but it was just getting by at the time. It was just struggling, you know,
struggling paper. Sure. He was always looking for ways to increase circulation.
Now, one acquaintance said Miller was a man quote of irreligious character, great
laxity of moral principle and of intemperate habits. Okay, so David, may I
translate for those of us who weren't around at that time. This man was what we
call cool. Hey, someone's a good time. Yeah, this man. Not believing in the
religious bullshit and liking to have a good time. Yeah. Yeah, that's better.
Both Morgan and Miller were down on their luck and scheming to come up with
something. They also, being from the lower class, resented the Freemasons, who
represented the establishment class. Here we go. All right. All right. Yeah,
now you're fired up. Pants are off. Okay. In 1826, during the summer, the two
men came up with a plan to reveal the secrets of the Freemasons in a book. Okay.
All right. It's like when you reveal the magician's secrets. Yeah. Oh, God, they
don't like that. They do not. Remember when Fox the show based on that? Yeah,
the magicians lost their shit. Yeah, they killed that guy in the hood. What? You
didn't hear about that? No. Yeah, they killed him. They put him in a bin and
then put a bunch of swords into it. I'm kidding, Dave. He's fine. He's right
here. I know. Want to know how we did it? No. It's two of them. Two barrels or two
guys? Both. Okay. That doesn't seem like a very good trick. Pick a card. So it's
just twins and two barrels? That's right. Everything's based around twins. And then
you put knife, you put swords into the barrels and then the other guy comes out. No, but
what you said is pretty good. Want to walk us through it? No, I'm good. Okay.
Author A.P. Bentley wrote, quote, entered into partnership to print a book which the
public was to be told disclosed the secrets of masonry in hopes to make a fortune out
of the gaping curiosity of the vulgar. Interesting demographic, but all right. In the August
edition of his newspaper, Miller teased the coming book. He wrote that he had learned
of, quote, the strongest of rottenness. And together with his anonymous colleague, they
were working to, quote, an act of justice to ourselves and to the public. So they're
going to make things right again. Yeah. It seems like a strange thing to, it seems to
me like a smarter angle would be to just release your book and then plug it. It's a teaser.
Yeah, I get that, but it's also like you're teasing, you know, I'm going to again compare
them to magicians. Don't fuck with them. It would be written by his secret colleague
and then Miller said he would publish it. The book would detail masonic rituals and
their criminality in public offices. His collaborator was said to be a deep undercover in the masonic
world. Now there's different versions of what happened. Author Andrew Bart Burt says, Morgan
had tricked some masons into believing that he was a mason and they gave him, let's all
talk about our secrets together. Why don't we go left to right? You start. No. Interesting.
Let me write that down. No. Why are you writing? There's no writing. You know, we don't write
in the lodge. I'm kidding. You're on my new Mason prank theater. It's not a show. It's
theater theater. Yeah, that's around. I'm on. I'm on your theater. You're on my prank theater.
Prank theater. Why do you keep going? Eh, like you don't believe the way you've said is no,
no, no, it's prank theater. It's a it's a traveling prank show. Oh, boy. It's a traveling prank
show theater. What? I think you're next, Barry. No, I'm listening to you. No, I'm listening
to you. Let me write that down. It's why are you writing? Jesus Christ. I can't do this
again. So, uh, Edward Bart says, uh, Edward Bart says that they, they gave him access
to a lodge and then he'd watch the ceremonies and take notes. Edward Ellis claimed Morgan
had been made a master Mason when he lived in Canada and went to a lodge for a short
time when he lived in Rochester. While Robert Morris said that Morgan had received the Royal
Arch Degree at LaRoy's Western Star Chamber Lodge number 33. Wow. I mean, did he get his
diploma and did he tell his parents? Oh my God. Which Lodge? Which Star Lodge? Western
Star. Oh my God. You got Western Star. I'm so proud of you. Thank you, Mommy. You're
amazing. Uh, and there he had swore under oath that he had received a six degrees that
came before his obviously Royal Arch Degree. You knew that. Right. No one knows for sure.
No one knows for sure which story it is because none of it can really be verified. We do know
Morgan tried to join lodges around Batavia, but was rejected. The Masons either did not
think much of him or they questioned his Mason membership. Okay. So he's going there saying
he is a Mason. Yeah. Uh, so after Miller writes about the book teaser, the Mason started
to freak out. Yeah, of course. Mason, uh, Masons in surrounding counties began to become
increasingly concerned about the revelations that were coming. One Mason, one Mason. It's
funny that they used to be like stone Mason. And now they're a hookup secret. Like it used
to just be like, yeah, and then we're thinking of maybe just some more flatter rocks over
here like, okay, all right, we got that, we got that. And now it's just like they're going
to release our secrets. It's a little, it's just a slight change. Yeah. But it's just
like finding out plumbers around the world. Well, they do. In a way. Uh, one Mason at
the time, quote, I never saw men so excited in my life. The Masons quickly put together
investigation committees. Oh dear. Everything went forward in kind of a frenzy. So they're
just like student council before prom. Basically, right. The Masons somehow learned it was Morgan
and they began harassing Miller and Morgan. Okay. The Masons put an ad in the local paper,
quote, if a man calling himself William Morgan should intrude himself upon the community,
they should be on their guard, particularly the Masonic fraternity. Any information in
relation to Morgan can be obtained by calling at the Masonic Hall in this village. Morgan
is considered a swindler and a dangerous man. There are people in this lodge who would be
glad to see this Captain Morgan. Kenan de Gua, August 9th, 1826. Who wrote that? Kenan
de Gua? No, Kenan de Gua is a town. Okay. Otherwise, I'm a French attorney. Kenan de Gua.
Both Miller and Morgan were prosecuted for petty debts. Morgan was arrested by three
Masons. Arrested by Masons? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that seems, that's a gray area. I would
like to say it's a gray area, but there's a guy who an environmental activist lawyer
who was just prosecuted in New York by a private company and now he's on house arrest. So things
are looking up. Shit. God damn. So the local sheriff goes along with it and he put Morgan
in jail. Morgan's friends. Hey sheriff, we got a criminal to pitch to you. All right.
Okay, go ahead. Well, this guy's a real asshole. He's been going around and just been telling
everyone that we got a bunch of secrets. So we've kind of arrested him already. We know
that's your thing, but we just kind of arrested him already. So we was shut up, Doug. We
was wondering if would you put him in jail for us, please? Please? Yeah, sure. You guys
are nice. Thanks, man. I like you guys. Thank you, man. Yeah. You want me to work him over
a little bit or? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Work him over. Electric shocks. You want to burn him
with candles? I can pop his eyes out with a spoon. Let's not get too crazy early. Maybe
just kind of burn him with the candle. Unless he's into it, then maybe shock him. All right.
And in return, I just need a couple of secrets. Yeah. Well, sheriff, like we said last time,
that's the part of the deal is that, you know, you got to be in the club and you know, so
all right, you want to know one? You want to know one? Yeah, I do. The guy in the other
barrel was his twin brother. All right. Thank you, sheriff. See you later, buddy. My God,
I wondered how that trick worked. Thank you, bud. So I put him in jail. Morgan's friends
come to try to bail him out, but they can't find the sheriff or the jailer. They can't
find. So a constable then performed an illegal search of Morgan's apartment while Lucinda
was there. The constable was looking for the book manuscript. Oh, wow. Jesus Christ. All
right. I'm the constable. Where's the book of secrets that misses? Got to be around here
somewhere. Well, I've just have a dig around here then. All right. All we've got is a
Hobbit recipe book. Yeah, likely story. I'd like to have a look at this Hobbit recipe book
at some point. But first of all, let me just go over here and have a look. Look, see, look,
see, look, see. Right. Now, it's Hobbit cookbook. That's right. That's a Hobbit cookbook. It's
been handed down for centuries. Is it a cookbook to cook for Hobbits or to cook Hobbits? It's
to cook Hobbits. That's absolutely twisted. What a fool it might be. Right. The meat really
slides off the bone. The Hobbit meat, you mean. Meat. The Hobbit meat. Hobbit meat. You seem
quite unwell, man. Are you all right? I've got a bit of a fever. Yeah, you are laid down
to be very odd. I feel dank. Did you eat any of the Hobbit? Yeah, I have four Hobbits.
Right, man. I think you've poisoned yourself with Hobbit Goulash is what our things happened.
I mostly just ate the feet. Miss. Good Lord. Right, I'm going to have a quick look around.
I'm sorry. You've got to shave the feet. God, that's absolutely vile. That is right.
Just have a look. God almighty, all right. It's a hairy. All right. Well, I'll be back
with backup. Right. Oh, my God. You look melted. Goodbye, Governor. Of course. So after a while
Morgan's friends were finally able to get him out of jail. And then men who were not
from the area started appearing in towns all over Ontario County. Cover humans. Undercover
humans. This started spooking the locals. One man came and offered to be Miller's new
business partner. He said he would buy new printing machines and whatever. This guy is
laying it on far too thick early. And whatever was needed to print the book. I mean, that's
not how you do it. Hello. I would like to be your business partner and give you money
to print a book. Sorry. Are you talking to me? Yes. Hello. I would like to give you lots
of money to help you make a book. I'm not in the book making business, sir. So thank
you very much, though. Appreciate it. Oh, I thought maybe you enjoyed making books.
Why would you think just looking at me that I like to make books? What about me says that?
This is how I introduce myself to people. Everybody? Yes. I'm looking to make books
in the world. All right. Well, you found a guy who doesn't want to make a book. So maybe
you move on with your little pitch, okay? Well, I just thought, are you sure you don't
want to make? Everybody wants to make a book. Let me ask you this. Do you do this with everybody?
Everybody you introduce yourself to? Do you do the pushback book talk? Yes. I am very
aggressive about book making. I don't want to make a book. I'm good. Everybody should
make a book. I have no interest in making any book. I have no interest in making any
book. I have no interest in making any book. I have no interest in making any book. I have
two boy misons. Excuse me, sir? Look, I, look, I will say this, whoever sent you under prepared
you had nobody sent me соpoπсмwas, You're a Mason.
You've done a terrible undercover job. No. Yes. You are.
My name is Mason Jenkins, if that's what you mean. My first name is Mason, my middle
name is Frie. I said, my last name is Jenkins. So why didn't you say any of that up top?
Well, who has an introduction where they don't say their name and just ask someone. If they
they want to make a book with them.
Oh, would you like to make a book?
OK, nope.
Excuse me.
Excuse me.
It turned out this guy was actually
a Mason who had been sent to find everything
he could about the book.
What?
Who knew?
Wow.
On September 8th.
Terrible undercover work.
How did it go?
Not great.
What did you ask him?
Well, I got, I was very, the whole walk there,
I was prepping myself.
And then the second I walked in, I just, it came out.
And I just, I didn't say anything.
I just said, hey, let's make a book together, buddy.
And it just came out.
And then he was suspicious from there.
And then I told him all of our secrets.
Here, take this sword.
Put it through my head.
I deserve it.
On September 8th, a group of Masons
were drinking in a tavern when they decided
to attack Miller's office.
OK, so different, different planning, drunk planning.
They broke into the print shop.
But there they found something they had not expected.
Miller was waiting, and he had a group of men with him.
They were all armed and ready to battle.
Oh, shit.
The Masons back out.
You know what you say, you know what you say when that happens?
Extra, extra.
Like it's a newspaper headline, you know what I mean?
No, I got it.
Or you do a badass line like that.
Sorry, guys.
I think you're going to be below the fold.
Something like that, you know what I mean?
Or no, you do this, you do this.
Hey, hey, Bill, get the printer ready.
We got to make longer obituary pages.
That's what I mean.
Something like that.
Yeah, yeah.
Or do this, or you do this, or you do this.
Hey, Bill, get ready for the person lads.
I've got a match.
My shotgun, this dickhead's face.
Mm-hmm.
It's a longer one, but it's still good.
Or you could do this one.
You could do this.
Hey, Bill, fire up the printing press.
I've got a new comic strip to make.
And this one's not funny.
It's just a murder.
That one drifted.
All right, can I do one more?
Hey, Bill, get the printer.
Get the goddamn printing press ready.
God damn it, would you?
I've got to make an addition to the editorial page.
In my opinion, which does not work with the publication
that I work for, this guy's a bag of shit and needs to go.
All right, that was good.
Thank you.
So the Mason's backed out.
And then two nights later, the print shop caught on fire.
What happened?
Did they have an idea?
Smoking.
Luck of the Fire was seen quickly
by a group of teamsters who went in and put it out
before there was serious damage.
All throughout the print shop, they
found cotton balls that had been soaked in turpentine.
Interesting.
What do you think?
What natural occurrences brought that?
A lot of times at New York back then,
cotton balls would fly around.
And they were mostly turpentine cotton balls.
It's a natural phenomenon like the northern lights.
Oh, which I find fascinating.
Miller was adamant that the Mason's were behind the fire.
The next day, six Mason's came to Morgan's house
with an arrest warrant.
It had been obtained by the master of the Freemasons
of Cannon de Gua Lodge.
Morgan was charged with petty larceny.
But see, this is why you don't make an announcement in the paper
that you're going to release a Mason book.
You release your Mason book.
OK, you were right about that.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Mason had borrowed a shirt and tie from a tavern owner
and forgotten to return them.
Sorry, Morgan had.
I was like, for a second, I was like, wait, which fucking guy?
Is that guy originally from the bar actually named Mason?
OK, so Morgan had borrowed a shirt and tie
from a tavern owner, and then he forgot to return them
to the guy.
So that's what they were charging him.
They were charging him with theft.
Right, right.
Theft of the upper half of an outfit.
He was taken to jail, but he wasn't really too concerned.
He thought if he explained that he'd just
forgotten to return the shirt and tie, he would all be fine.
And when he got in front of the judge,
the judge totally agreed, and the judge let him go.
As soon as he walked out, he was arrested once again.
For leaving the courthouse.
It's time for a debt of $2.65.
Oh, boy.
Which would be about $70 today, about $70.
Jesus.
These charges were not dismissed,
and Morgan was now kept in jail overnight.
And with Morgan in jail, the Freemasons
focused on Miller.
Seventy arm masons gathered in a local tavern.
OK, that's an arming.
That's a militia.
I mean, that's certainly not a good number.
That's a worrying number.
At the same time, a constable from the town of LaRoy
arrested Miller for stealing $30 from his partner.
I assume a business partner.
Miller was taken to Stafford, held in a lodge,
in a masons lodge.
That's so, I mean, honestly, for what you just said,
I guess it's not crazy, but that's so crazy.
Yeah, no, it's insane.
He was also denied a lawyer.
OK, so this is before Miranda had the rights.
That's right.
You have the right to stay in one of our lodges.
That is the end of your rights.
Is that where you guys keep the secrets?
Nice try, dickhole.
Miller asked to go in front of a local judge,
and after some time, the masons finally allowed it.
The judge ruled that the issue was a civil one
and not a criminal one.
Miller's partner.
Did the judge say anything to the masons about not also,
hey, can you guys quit doing this?
Could you not jail people in your lodge?
Yeah, that's not how this works.
That's not a jail.
That's your lodge.
Miller's partner, whoever he was,
did not show up to court, so the charges were dropped.
And as Miller walked out of the building,
the same constable who'd tried to arrest him again
on the exact same charge.
OK.
I mean, they're really not good.
Again, same thing.
Same infraction, one more time.
That's not how it works.
It's called a twicket.
No, it's not called the twicket.
That's not a word.
It's called a twicket.
First one's on you, second one's on me.
Twicket, right?
You're under arrest, you are.
No.
Oh, I can ask you a question.
Yeah.
The woman who lives with you.
Lucinda, my wife.
Yeah.
She really cook hobbits.
Oh, yeah.
She loves hobbits.
We have one a week at least.
It's just catching the little guys.
You've got to go down to the shire.
You've got to set traps.
It's a whole deal.
That was far fetched, but all right.
You're under arrest.
No, no.
The skin really falls off the foot.
You're under arrest.
No, I'm not doing that.
Oh, all right.
Have a good day.
Oh, but this is the wrong guy.
This is Miller who's getting arrested.
Oh, all right.
Got to talk to his wife.
But when they tried to arrest him
for the exact same charge, his friends were there
and they stopped it and he was able to leave.
Now, the next day, a freemason named Lawton Lawson
arrived at the jail to pay Morgan's debts and fines
to get him out.
No.
If I'm him, I say I want to stay.
I don't want this man to pay my fees.
That is the shadiest shit in the world
if you're in jail and someone you've never seen before
is like, hello, I've bailed you out.
Come with me.
I'd be like, I do not.
No, I like my chances on the inside better.
Absolutely not.
Morgan seemed to think something was up,
so he asked if he could wait until the next morning
because he was already undressed.
No.
Now, that's a lot of bad excuses.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm kind of tired and I'm naked.
Can we not do it?
I mean, imagine turning down and leaving jail.
I'm kind of set for the night.
I'd rather stay here.
All my stuff's here.
My pantalonies are off, so.
It's all right.
Just come with me.
I'm your owner now.
Lawson was not giving up.
He really wanted to get him out of jail,
but he couldn't find the jailer.
So with two other mason's.
And the jail was this.
You could just leave?
Yeah, apparently.
There was this.
OK.
With two other mason's, he went to the jailer's wife
and badgered her until she agreed to let Morgan out.
What?
Kind of what?
We've all seen that.
I'm trying to picture what a jail looks like.
It just went from a jail to a house.
All right, why don't we go upstairs and ask the wife?
Honestly, it's a small town.
It might have just been a room and a house with a jail door on it.
Look, I don't know.
Either way.
As they took him away, the jailer's wife went to the door
and heard Morgan yelling, murder.
She saw Morgan struggling with Lawson and another man.
And then they took him and pushed him into a carriage.
Now, at this point, was she like, I did a good job.
That seems fine.
I did.
I let a man go free.
Oh, honey, some guys came by and they
asked to let the guy in jail out and let him out.
And he yelled, murder, murder, murder all the way into a carriage.
They're going to kill him.
They pushed him in and then the carriage took off.
But I think he's fine.
He's not fine.
They will kill him.
That man will die.
No.
They seem to know him.
So.
Honey.
Anyway, do you want hobbit?
I want to chastise you so bad right now,
because you screwed me so bad on this.
But yes, give me some of those little dumpling toes.
This one's off the bone already.
Yeah.
So another woman saw also and verified the jailer's wife's
account.
The carriage drivers, they put him in a carriage,
the carriage just takes off.
The carriage driver would later say
he did not know who had hired him
and that he drove them all to Rochester.
Morgan was never seen again.
What?
His disappearance and the connection to Freemasons
spread quickly throughout New York.
And as the story went from county to county, town to town,
the retelling of the kidnapping became more and more brutal.
The.
It's pretty brutal already.
Yeah, the powerful and secretive Masons
quickly became the example of everything
that was wrong with America.
And newspapers started running with the story.
OK.
The Freemasons came out and said,
nothing had happened to Morgan.
They said he had been paid for being, quote,
voluntarily abducted.
Yes.
Yes, Dave, for God's sake.
That does not piece together as an actual thing.
It's voluntary.
Obduction is not a thing.
Hello, I went to bad excuse school.
Did you have?
I mean, that's crazy.
They had time.
Yeah, they had time.
They said that they paid him $5, $500.
And he was like role playing.
It was he went to live in Canada.
Yeah, OK.
Let me guys, let me for the last time,
do you need me to bottom line what happened?
This guy had an abduction fantasy and wanted to be Canadian.
And for a fee of $5, the sweet, kind, sensitive
masons took care of it.
OK.
We are fantasy makers.
We are dream makers.
That's what we're doing.
Now, does anyone else have a wild fantasy?
Like maybe they want to be murdered
or have all their possessions taken or lose a tongue.
We're here.
I want to.
We are dream makers.
I want to kill a hobbit with a bunch of bros.
All right, you have been asked to leave 15 different times.
This is the last time.
What?
We are not hunting hobbits with you.
What?
No, you are looking for a completely different meeting.
It is not here.
You have a hobbit habit, and it's out of control.
I just want to watch one die.
Buddy, stop talking for a little while.
We all want to watch one die, but some of us
move on with our lives.
You said you were dream makers.
Look, how about this?
How about we take you on a ride and we drown you for $450?
OK.
All right, thank you.
They said there was zero evidence of any wrongdoing,
and they also like to point out.
There's only zero evidence of no wrongdoing.
And they also like to point out that someone
believed they had seen Morgan in Smyrna in Asia Minor
and other places in the world after the kidnapping.
So he obviously was traveling.
So he's just become like elf on a shelf for these guys now.
That's right.
Like they're like, you know, it's Santa the night
before Christmas.
Well, we got reports that he's over China right now.
Miller published the book Illustrations in Masonry,
as they had planned to do with Morgan, right?
He wrote a searing introduction, quote,
in the absence of the author who was kidnapped
and carried away from the village of Batavia
on the 11th day of September, 1826,
by a number of Freemasons.
The book quickly became a bestseller.
Wow, OK.
OK.
So now to my friend, who was most likely murdered
by the Masons, and also Sheila, you have been my rock.
So now the story became known as the Morgan affair.
OK.
The people began demanding an investigation.
And on September 26, the meeting was held before a judge
to discuss whether or not Morgan had been abducted,
as well as the fire at Miller's office.
OK, right, the cotton ball fire.
But it was also about calming everyone down.
People were starting to freak out.
Miller and Morgan had both been dragged away legally.
So the law looked corrupt.
If it could happen to these two men who was next,
was anyone safe?
The public became more and more afraid the more they learned.
Yeah, that's logical.
It's reasonable.
Yeah.
A committee was formed to investigate.
The committee asked the governor for help,
and Governor Clinton, a Mason, responded with nope.
There it is.
There it is.
He told them to do it through the local magistrate.
This kicked off conspiracy theories.
Governor Free Mason was covering up the crime.
Right.
And of course, there were, for sure,
Mason's trying to thwart the investigation
because they had committed the crime.
And also, on top of that, you had the widow, right?
So on top of all the other stuff that
makes it a sensational story, you've got the widow
and her two children.
So it's just making people angry.
Guys, for the last time, your dad moved to Canada.
He had a dream.
OK, I don't know how many times I got to tell you guys this.
Everybody's so gloom and doom.
Your dad's probably right up there moose back right now.
You know what I mean?
Hanging out, drinking a nice lager beer
with a little maple syrup while he's got a maple leaf
on the back of his jacket.
Your dad didn't die, guys.
Your dad dreamed of Canada.
And we took him there.
Why are you sad?
It's not sad.
Your dad got to go live his dream.
He's probably a mountain.
He's probably in a log cabin somewhere,
watching the CBC or whatever the hell they have.
You know what I mean?
He's probably up there right now.
He's probably learning some French and having a,
you know, whatever local dish they love there.
He's probably having one of those.
I'll tell you the whole ride up, all your dad did
was talk about Canada, how excited he was to get there
and see the snow and be Canadian.
Then some sentences with A.
And get so drunk and he was so excited.
And he loved you guys, but he fucking loved Canada.
He loved Canada so much.
He said he never wanted to see Hockey Night in Canada.
He said he never wanted to see Hockey Night in Canada.
Well, let me tell you this, guys.
I'll be honest, I bet your dad was probably
putting the buffers in for this story for years,
trying to come up with ways that you guys wouldn't feel guilty
because you shouldn't feel guilty.
This is not a matter of your father not loving his family,
but your father, who's very much alive, might not point out,
not loving his family.
This is about a man who loves Canada.
He just loves the, he loves, it's America's hat.
He loves it.
He never said anything about Canada.
That's what makes it so logical.
That's why it makes so much sense.
Why would he tell you this if he's eventually going to go there?
He doesn't want you to find him.
He's probably going to, he already told me.
He was going to change his name to Elvis DuBackel
and move up there.
And that's what he did.
So you guys, he wouldn't have told you that.
That actually helps what I'm saying, what you said.
That helps what I'm saying.
Okay?
So I'm your dad now.
I'm your dad now.
I'm your dad now.
Okay?
Yes, I'm your dad.
Get on my shoulders.
Both of you.
No.
Come on.
I'm going to carry like boards.
What?
Come on.
I'm your daddy.
You need a fucking 17 now.
How long have I been talking?
It's like a long time.
Holy shit.
My, like, I almost killed myself.
Holy shit.
In the middle of it.
You were six when we started,
you were six when we started, right?
Yeah, it was long.
It was long.
Oh, shit.
It was a bummer.
I don't even know.
I don't even care about my dad.
I just talked about Canada for 11 years.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
That's crazy.
Well, I just have like two more years to go
and then I'll let you guys go.
So the deal with your dad.
So all these kidnappings are,
sorry, all these committees are being formed
to stop the fear.
Wait, where were we?
It was, well,
the two children, right?
Wasn't there something about that?
Yeah, trying to find it.
Oh yeah.
Other counties in the area
created their own investigation committees.
So it's not just the main investigation committees.
Now other counties are making them.
Right.
Which has to make the Masons a little wary.
There must be a little work at this point.
And none of them are asking government authorities
for help because they didn't think
the government authorities could be trusted.
The Masons, none of the Masons
are asking the government authorities for help because.
No, these are investigative committees
made by the people.
Right, okay.
And so the people are like no government authorities.
You know they walked in a couple of times
to those like committees and were like flashing
like some Mason symbols and some guys like,
sorry, are you pointing at me?
No, no, him maybe.
Do do do do do.
Are you one of those?
Yeah.
Do you do the cut, cut?
Yeah, triangle with a triangle.
So it's basically a people's investigation.
The first committee had been created
to quiet rising fear, but instead,
the committees just kept making everything worse.
They traveled around upstate New York
and with them went the story of Morgan's kidnapping
and it was like a traveling rumor.
So these committees are going out to investigate
and the whole reason they were started
was to calm people down,
but they're just firing people up.
Right, right.
People who had read about it in papers
and didn't believe it were now hearing witnesses
talk about it and the facts became
more and more sensationalized.
So they went on a tour,
they went on a calming tour.
And this sounds a little like Tom Perez
and Bernie Sanders unity tour.
They went on a calming,
they went on a calming tour
where they just gave more volume to witnesses
and that of course is not going to assuage
any of the fears of anybody.
No.
Like, wait, I didn't know that part.
Oh, you didn't know that part?
Sorry, we thought you knew that part.
All the facts became more and more sensationalized.
One rumor was that Morgan was kidnapped
and then killed in a Masonic ritual.
His throat was sliced from ear to ear
and his tongue cut out.
Jesus.
Now the Masons aren't helping themselves.
One ex-member of the state legislature said,
quote, if they are publishing true secrets of Masonry,
we should not think the lives of half a dozen men
such as Morgan and Miller of any consequence
in suppressing the work.
So it's okay to kill them.
If they're letting out Mason secrets.
Wow.
A Mason judge.
Whoopsies.
A Mason judge in Genesee County said, quote,
whatever Morgan's fate might have been,
he deserved it.
He had forfeited his life.
That's right.
We find him not Mason, not, whoop.
I'm not a Mason.
Oh dear, there it is.
Anyone like the moonshine from my club jar?
Mason jar.
Whoopsies.
That shouldn't happen.
That's crazy.
I keep saying Mason.
My God, let me go Mason.
I'm not one of them.
Oh, I'm going to absolutely stop.
Come on, cut my tongue out of my own head.
Like we did to that.
Whoopsie daisy, not we.
Not even something happened.
I'm not a Mason.
Never happened.
All right, I'm one.
I am one.
I've been one for a while.
Thank you everybody.
I'm going to jump out the window.
Thank you.
So obviously they're not helping themselves
with their public statements.
In October, the Masons who tried to imprison Miller
were charged with rioting and assault.
In November, four more were indicted for conspiring
to take Morgan from his jail cell
and then for actually kidnapping him later.
Teams of lawyers paid for by Masonic lodges
defended the Masons.
The governor also sent the attorney general.
The first witness at the trial was Miller,
but he didn't show up.
I wonder why.
He later said he forgot and he had some business
to deal with.
And he didn't have money to travel.
And he liked living.
So a lot of people quickly concluded
he had been bribed or blackmailed.
The next day, three defendants changed their pleas
to guilty for abducting Morgan from his jail cell.
They all said they had no idea where he'd been taken
just that they put him in the carriage.
And then that kills the whole trial.
Okay.
So even though there's other guys on trial,
once three guys have pleaded guilty
to putting him in the carriage
since that's all that was there.
Then there's no point in furthering the investigation.
Yeah, so.
Which makes total sense.
And everyone wanted to hear the revelations
about the Freemasons.
That's why they were all paying attention to the trial,
but now that's gone.
The judge has sent an statement riled people up.
He said, the outraged public was about the spirit
of the nation and that the public was now vigilant.
The people had enforced the laws
and they would protect American values.
Oh, the, God, the, the, the placation that takes
that they are comfortable with giving is insane.
Well, but I think what matters here
is that justice was served
because the people now believe in justice.
All right.
Don't make me be the only one clapping here, gang.
Come on, somebody else joined in.
That was pretty prophetic, what I just said.
We all learned a lot.
This all tapped into something.
Industrialization was rapidly changing society.
Immigration and population booms were doing the same.
The more industrialization that was going on in a town,
the more they reacted to the anti-Masonic fervor.
People were looking for something to be mad at
and the Masons became the focal point
and the most evil thing in America.
Now the conspiracy people are going crazy.
The judge gave all these guys light sentences
and the others, others just got off
and it now looked like the entire thing was being covered up
by the New York legal system.
Rumors spread that a Mason and public official
in Niagara County had packed juries with Masons.
So with the kidnapping and murder followed by the anger
about the failure of the judicial system,
this began an official anti-Masonic movement.
Anti-Masons were about against secrecy
and the manipulation of the law
while promoting liberty and Christianity.
They believed if the Masons were so powerful
that they could manipulate the judicial,
legislative and executive branches
that American democracy was a joke.
They wanted all free Masons out of government.
It had become, so it's now become a political panic
besides industrialized areas.
Anti-Masons also were big with upper middle class elites.
80% of anti-Mason committee and candidates
were from the professional class.
Lawyers made up a majority.
So these were the people who joined
because their idea of what America was
was becoming threatened.
An anti-Masonic political party was formed.
The towns of...
And what's your policy, fucking Masons, we hate them.
Just want to get rid of them.
Just want to get rid of them, get them out.
That's it.
That's all we need and it'll be fine.
Yeah.
The towns of Batavia, Bethany and Stafford got together
and agreed to, quote,
withhold their support at elections
from all such men of the Masonic fraternity.
And then the people of Seneca joined and then others.
Newspapers run by Masons became a target.
Pembroke and Alexander met and passed a resolution
to, quote, discourage the circulation of any paper
that had not covered the Morgan affair accurately.
So they started a newspaper boycott over, I guess,
fake news.
Wow, god damn.
This, the boycott spread of towns
all over upstate New York.
And then a leader rose up.
His name was Thurlow Weed.
Wow.
What?
I think that's a strain.
He was a newspaper man.
He was 38.
He had no formal education, but he was very good at politics.
He had been on the first investigative committee
in Rochester and now being a journalist,
he knew how to help push the party.
He founded the anti-Masonic Inquirer in Rochester.
Got an anti-Masonic paper.
This suit became the biggest anti-Masonic paper
in the country, and it was constantly pumping out
anti-Masonic writings that made their way
across the entire country.
He sold papers with the Morgan kidnapping mystery,
the populist politics and outrage.
He was helped by all the trials that were happening
between October 26th and 1831,
altogether 20 investigations and 18 trials
with 39 Freemason defendants.
Wow.
So we kept the anti-Masons up to date with the latest.
He began recruiting anti-Masonic candidates
to run a local elections.
Okay, that's guy.
By the time 1827 rolled around,
the anti-Masonic party elected 15 people
to the New York legislature.
Wow.
Three times more than the president's party.
So why, okay.
After a long fight, the New York governor gave in
to anti-Mason's demands to form a special legislative
committee to investigate the Morgan affair.
Wow.
Holy shit.
Then the trial of Niagara County Sheriff Eli Bruce came.
Bruce was a Mason, and he had no,
he had to have known about the kidnappings
as it was known that they traveled
through his county with Morgan.
He had taken, and he had taken the fifth
in previous trials.
So when he was called as a witness,
he kept taking the fifth.
I love that.
I can't believe the fifth has been around that long.
That feels so 20th century.
I'm sure we'll get rid of it.
Good.
The governor of New York had said publicly,
Bruce was quote, a participant in said abduction.
So this is a big trial.
This is like the sheriff is like,
he's the law, he's a big name.
Right.
It's a big deal.
He was the perfect symbol of how evil
and dangerous Freemasons were.
He was on trial for conspiracy,
but to prove that, they needed to prove the kidnapping,
which they had not done yet.
Okay, here we go again.
They couldn't disprove the Freemason story
that they gave him on any move.
Right.
Right, right.
The only thing we...
Which seems fair.
That seems fair.
The only thing we had proved was that he had been
forcibly taken from the jail to the carriage,
but that's it.
On a mission of dreams.
So investigators knew Morgan had been imprisoned
at Fort Niagara across the border from Canada.
And then they learned a soldier had watched over Morgan
while he was there and fed him.
And the soldier was not a Mason.
Oh boy.
Flaw.
His name was Alicia Adams.
He was elderly.
Are you waiting for me to have a laugh?
Yeah.
He was elderly and handicapped.
Oh boy.
But now Adams was missing.
And then we got a tip that Adams was hiding out
in a cabin in Vermont.
So he went to the cabin at midnight with a local sheriff.
Hoping to surprise him.
By the way, great.
So what a great time to show up, right?
Perfect for a man who's elderly, disabled,
probably gonna be a little,
get, you know, at show but midnight.
Really rousing.
Oh, they're trying to surprise him.
But when they went there, Adams just was like,
hey, I was expecting you guys.
And he said he testified, no problem.
Wow, that's even, that's even crazier.
Come on in.
Now the trip back would take three days.
And over that time, Adams told weed what he had seen.
Morgan had been held in the armory at the fort
and continued yelling for help.
One night, four masons came and took Morgan out on a boat
and then came back without him.
So the masons.
The island.
The masons then all, yeah, the island.
The masons then all split up and went their separate ways.
All right, good murder.
See you guys later.
This would obviously blow everything wide open.
And then when they put Adams on the witness stand,
he said nothing.
He denied knowing anything about Morgan.
Oh boy.
He fucking got to him.
Yeah, I mean, you've got it,
but you've got to keep an eye on that guy.
You really do.
Yeah, completely.
Still, Bruce was convicted of abduction
and again, given a light sentence.
The anti-masons were now furious.
Anti-masonic papers wrote about the injustice,
but it worked out great for the party.
People had followed the trial and they were outraged.
It was the perfect marketing tool for the anti-masons
and the anti-masonic party quickly became a national party.
There we go.
There we go.
President Adams said we'd,
President Adams made weed his campaign manager
in Western New York.
The president was now officially aligned
with the anti-mason party.
By the way, if I were to run,
I would also make weed my campaign manager.
Adams stated, quote,
I am not, never was and shall never be a free mason.
All right.
That's my thing.
That's my slogan.
Still many thought the anti-masons were just a movement
and not a political party.
In an article, the Oswego Free Press said
the anti-masons were not the least bit interested
in holding public office.
Quote, they care not a copper.
Okay.
All right.
People will still say that in a couple of hundred years,
won't they?
What they actually wanted was to just get free masons
who are currently in office, out of office
and once in a power, they wanted to pass legislation
to completely prohibit free masonry.
Mm-hmm.
Anti-masons spread out to Vermont, Ohio,
Massachusetts and Maryland.
Candidates popped up all over.
Thurlow Weed was considered the leader
and in the 1828 election, anti-masons were elected
to state legislatures all over the country.
The party was also the first third party in US history
to send candidates to Congress.
Six anti-mason members were elected to the House.
Wow.
The other two parties were the Jacksonians
and the anti-Jacksonians.
Jesus Christ.
So, well,
that is so, okay.
It's kind of what we are now.
I, we completely are.
The new president, Andrew Jackson, was a public mason.
Wow.
This made the anti-masons an option
for those who were opposed to Jackson.
And instead of getting caught up in a bunch of policies,
they could just say he was the leader
of the Masonic conspiracy to destroy the country
with this free mason bullshit.
Having Jackson in the White House was the perfect guy.
Okay.
Free mason's fought back in their own newspapers.
The Wayne Sentinel said anti-masonic leaders
lacked morals and integrity.
One paper said they had to fight, quote,
the hydra of anti-masonry.
Uh-huh, that's right.
It's a hydra.
That's right.
Gotta cut off all its heads.
Jimmy, can I ask you a question?
Yeah.
What the fuck's a hydra?
You know the thing the fire department uses to get the water?
A hose?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry, I'm having a different conversation.
Do you-
That's called a hose?
Yeah.
Okay, I gotta get one of those.
What was your question?
I don't remember.
All right, you should get a hose.
They're awesome.
Get a hose.
Get a hose.
Free Masons wrote articles explaining that many
of the founding fathers were free masons
and rubbed George Washington in their face.
In 1830, the anti-masons pushed to become a national party.
They held a national convention in Philadelphia
on September 11th.
This is not because they knew about 9-11.
Yeah, this is not because they knew about 9-11 in the future.
It was because that was the day William Morgan had been abducted.
Yeah, that's-
Okay, that makes sense.
I did hear that before and I was like, hmm.
But there were fractures in the party.
Some realized to keep Jackson out of power,
they would have to work with the Republicans,
which meant compromise.
But a lot of Republicans refused to denounce free masons
and some were actually masons.
Okay, probably not the best team to work with.
The hardcore anti-masons couldn't accept that
and refused to work with anyone who wouldn't denounce all free masons.
That seems like a fair-
Yeah, that seems like a fair threshold.
They thought free masons were completely un-American and were evil.
Also, the name of the party is free anti-masons.
Right, you've got to stick with it.
That would be the one thing you should stick with.
You have to.
It's your founding principle.
But this led some in the party actually taking a look
at whether or not the party could be viable.
Could the party actually govern if their sole belief
was absolutely no working or compromising with masons?
So one of the reasons for this was because
they were winning the battle against free masons.
Tons of lodges had now closed.
How could they be a threat if they were disappearing?
Newspapers began to question the party's existence.
So they're actually beating free masons.
Lodges are closing, so the more lodges close,
the less anti-masons there are.
You're not running on a problem any longer.
The 1830 convention ended without making any big decisions
because they couldn't agree on anything.
They couldn't settle on who to nominate
as their presidential candidate.
So they kicked that road down to December
when they would have their national nominating convention.
This was the first time a party had a nominating convention.
The other parties would do the same,
and now they still do it today.
That's where it came from.
We should probably thank them because they're really flourish.
It's really great.
Oh, the balloons.
It's a really great way for companies to pay off parties.
Sorry, what?
Nothing.
Thurlow Weed was trying to keep the party together
as it broke into factions.
He decided to publish a high-profile anti-masonic newspaper
out of New York to spread the message to the entire country.
This was the way he kept the party focused.
He founded the Albany Evening Journal.
It was one of the most red papers in the country.
But others began to accuse Weed of walking away
from anti-masonic ideology to help anti-Jackson people.
So they're like, well, you're using the party
to help guys who hate Jackson
instead of just trying to get rid of...
Masons.
Masons.
Right.
Members of his party accused Weed of, quote,
guilty of a mean and base deception
and deceiving the honest anti-masonic yeomanry.
Yeomanry?
Yeah, it's, you know, we've talked about yeomanry before.
Sure we have.
So they were basically saying that he was trying to get
anti-masonic people to back masonic sympathizers.
Right.
So they're just saying anyone who's not vocally opposed to Masons...
Is not, is no work.
It's not a workable non-Mason party.
Yeah, because the name of the party is the anti-masonic party.
Yes, I completely agree with their logic.
Hey guys, this is the Mason he wants in.
No, we can't, no.
No.
Others in the party were fine with politics,
with politicians who weren't staunchly anti-Mason
because they just wanted to get rid of Andrew Jackson.
Right, who's ambivalent Mason?
Who's Mason neutral?
A prominent New York politician said Andrew Jackson
was a bigger threat to America than Masons,
and that he'd actually voted for Masons over Jacksonian candidates.
Oh, good.
So, weed keeps pushing on.
At the 1931 nominating convention,
he tried to find a presidential candidate everyone could agree on,
and he landed on William Wirt of Virginia.
Oh, former President William Wirt.
That's right.
He was very, very religious,
and Thomas Jents Jefferson considered him a political heir.
Okay.
Wirt said he was very much disappointed in America,
quote, disappointed most sadly in the intelligence
and virtue which I had attributed to our countrymen.
So, he's saying people are actually stupid and shits.
Yeah, I can't imagine.
He thought man's greed was ruining the country.
Everyone just wanted to be rich.
This pursuit of money fit nicely with the hardcore anti-Masons views
of free Masons.
But there's a hiccup with Wirt.
He at one time had been a free Mason.
Okay, so that's just...
How hard are we looking?
Are we looking hard enough?
Should we be looking harder?
And he is not.
We found our guy.
He's the guy. 100% he's the guy.
This is the guy. This is the guy.
This is the guy that people are going to vote for.
This is the guy. There is no other guy.
There's one problem.
Now, when you came in to the convention, did you see the banner up there?
By the way, it's the guy. Yeah.
It says anti-Mason party.
Goddamn right we are. Fuck the Masons.
Can't have them.
This guy, this guy, the guy that you want really badly.
So he was a Mason. He used to be a Mason.
Yes, yes, yes.
Okay, but we're the anti-Mason party.
Completely, yes, completely.
He's no longer a Mason. He stopped weeks ago.
So we're...
This guy's ready.
Now, I will say,
all cards on the table,
he's still aligned with a lot of the Masons beliefs.
But this is the guy. This is the guy.
No, it can't be the guy.
Our only thing is anti-free Mason.
That's our only thing.
Yes, of course. That's the founding principle of this whole thing.
Yes, yes.
So he can't be the guy.
He is the guy. Yes, he's 100%.
This has to be the guy.
Besides the past of Masonry
and the slight still alignment,
everything else falls into place with this guy.
This is the guy. This is the guy.
This is the guy.
I'm 100% sure this is the guy.
Can I be totally honest?
Yeah.
He and I are active Masons.
This is the guy.
So, Wirt,
he also wouldn't publicly reject the Masons
and he then called the battle between free Masons
and anti-Masons, quote,
a fitter subject for farce than tragedy.
Hey.
And then...
Dickhul, can we talk to you off the stage?
And then he said he was saddened by the, quote,
wild and bitter and unjust persecution
against so harmless an institution as free Masonry.
And then he showed up with a free Mason t-shirt.
So the hardcore anti-Masonic people are horrified,
But the anti-Mason party went ahead and picked Wirt, a former Mason who didn't seem to be upset
with Masons as the anti-Mason candidate for president. Solid neutral candidate.
Wirt went on to win Vermont and some scattered counties around the country overall, not much.
So not only had they picked an ex-Mason to be the anti-Mason candidate,
but anti-Mason fever was dying down as the trials wrapped up. There had been 20 trials,
but now the statute of limitations was kicking in. The lack of trials kept the evils of Freemasons
out of the news, and the Morgan affair had really been the driving force, but that was now years ago.
The symbolic threat of rich men and secret societies running the country was dissipating.
Once work failed, the party was pretty much toast. A founder of the anti-Masonic movement
wrote that it was completely different from what it had been in 1828, and if it was right then,
it was absolutely wrong now. Intolerable ideas had become part of the party platform.
A year later, Weed would accept it. In 1833, the party won nothing. He wrote, quote,
its leading object, namely, to awaken and perpetuate a public sentiment against secret
societies had failed. The anti-Masonic movement was dead, but they had done damage to the Freemasons.
All of the country's lodges shut down, and New York alone, the number of lodges went from 480
to 82. One anti-Mason estimate said two-thirds of Freemasons' lodges were closed around the country.
Freemasons went from 100,000 to just 40,000 in 10 years.
The anti-Jackson, anti-Masons, then teamed up with other anti-Jacksons and formed the Whig
party. They wanted a national bank, a prison, an education, reform, and temperance. The Whigs
became stronger as the anti-Masons folded, and then Weed went and began working for the Whigs.
Politicians continued to speak out about how awful Masons were to get votes,
and in 1836, in Pennsylvania, there was another flare up of anti-Masonic anger with investigations
and hearings. Out of that, one man was elected into Congress. People in Massachusetts, Ohio,
Vermont, would meet to discuss how to purge Freemasons from influence, but they were now seen
as a fringe group. An anti-Mason politician had success. Millard Fillmore became president
in 1850. Another anti-Mason became Lincoln Secretary of State, and Weed became a major
political operative for the Whigs and then the Republicans, which most Whigs became.
Well, Morgan's widow, Lucinda, moved west. There she met and married a guy named Joseph Smith,
who was the founder of the church. You son of a bitch, what? Wow, think of that time ripple.
If they hadn't taken, who knows? She might have been the one who was like,
you know what? You should just go bury the goddamn place yourself.
You don't know. Think of that time ripple.
Yeah. So anti-Mason re-died, but Freemasons continued. It still exists today. After President
Jackson, there were 11 Masonic presidents, including Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt,
Harry Truman, and Gerald Ford. Wow. Many others are Freemasons today. Jesse Jackson, John Elway,
Scottie Pippen, Michael Richards, Shaquille O'Neal. What? I'm curious to see who they pulled
Michael Richards aside. Hey, don't come to these anymore. Now he's trying to use his Mason credit
to get up at the Laugh Factory. Hey, can I do a quick seven? Look, Michael, I'm a Mason, Michael.
Boy, that is crazy. Isn't it? It's crazy. Because Masonry is one of those things,
it's almost like the 12 monkeys symbol. Once you're aware of the word Mason and what Masonry is,
then you drive around. You're like, why are there so many Masonic temples?
Yeah, they're everywhere. So it still is a thing. I've met a couple
Masons and I've worked with a couple Masons and have been taught. It's still some shady shit,
obviously. It's still going because up there, they're not like, oh, no, we just make punch.
They're like, yeah, I can't tell you, though. Is that weird? Yeah, it's weird.
But it's also a good story about why the two-party system works,
and we should not divert from it. That's right. Yeah, but the problem is, and we all know it,
is that both parties are owned by corporations. So that's it. Can you hear me? No. I can't hear you.
You can't hear me. All right. Well, our podcast came to a conclusion when the
squad cast died on us. So I'll say goodbye to Carreth and from everybody here at the dollop.
Have a great evening. Sorry about that. Technical difficulties. So the main source for this episode
was American hysteria, the untold story of mass political extremism in the United States by Andrew
Burt.