The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 43 - Pulgasari - Reverse Dollop

Episode Date: December 24, 2014

For the first time, Gareth Reynolds reads a story to Dave Anthony.SOURCESTOUR DATES REDBUBBLE MERCHPATREON

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Hello my name is Dave Anthony you are listening to the Dallop a historical

podcast. Normally a historical podcast about America. Tell you a little something different because my friend Gareth Reynolds is going to tell Dave Anthony a story he knows nothing about. It's a bizarro dollop. So I would like to start by saying how are you Dary? You fuck. Dary you piece of shit. Yeah fair. Yeah fair isn't it Dary? You fucking Dary. So much anger. Oh is there? You know how it's Gareth's can be. Take it easy Garth. No you son of a fucking bitch. You son of a bitch. Do you want to look who to do? I'll do one buck. People say this is funny. Not Gary Gareth. Dave okay. Someone or something is tickling people. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna come to Tickly

Podcast. Okay. You are queen fakie of made-up town. All hail queen shit of lies though. A bunch of religious virgins go to mingle and do what? Fray. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend? No. All right well the reason why I think this this story is a little more appropriate is because of what has just happened. There's something in the news. The movie The Interview got pulled because they decided to make a movie about assassinating and actually carrying through the assassination of Kim, I forget the kids name. Kim Jong-un. Right yeah. It's so weird that the last

part of his name is UN. Yeah it's great right? Yeah well he is United Nation. He is uniting a lot of nations. But the thing is that not a lot of people or maybe they do but film Hollywood Cinema in the Jong family it starts with that Kim Jong-il. So we're gonna talk about Kim Jong-il a little bit. The first guy. The Kim Jong-il Kim Jong-un's father. Yeah. You know the guy who we we at this point miss a little bit that guy. Little scamp. Born February 16th 1941 though official accounts do place his birth a year later. Some mystery surrounds when and where Kim Jong-il was born. According to North Korean historical literature Kim Jong-il

was born in a log cabin inside a secret base on Korea's most sacred mountain Mt. Peakdu. Why is he okay? At the moment of his birth a bright star lit up the sky. The season spontaneously changed from winter to spring and rainbows appeared. It's a big birth. You could have done with any of those and it would have been amazing. It's a big birth. Like it all have just rainbow and then rainbows. Rainbows. Rainbows. It just was it was like. No the double rainbow the double rainbow guy was there he was freaking out. It was like a it was like a fourth of July fireworks spectacular. Listen just picture anything good and that's what happened. So

we're like unicorns shot out of pigs asses. Unicorns were vomiting delicious Pepsi Cola into the mouths of the citizens. It was a really really big. It's a Skittles commercial. Yes exactly. Fair enough. However you'll probably be a little disheartened to know that this does contradict the way less interesting accounts of his birth that us Westerners believe in which is that he was born in a gorilla camp in Russia while his father was on the run from Japanese officials. So it's completely different. One of the two. What are the two. There's not even any overlap. What are the two. It's an either or. Look Dave I don't understand what's so hard to

understand. Look either he was born in a sacred mountain at the moment of his birth a bright star lit up the sky. The season spontaneously changed from winter spring and rainbows appear where he was born in a camp because his dad was running away from the Japanese. I remember when it did seem like winter just turned to spring so I'm gonna go with the first one. Yeah that's what happened. It was a big birth. So Kim Jong-il's father Kim Il-sung was a bit of an army guy. After the Korean War Kim Il-sung built a cult of personality around himself making himself the unquestioned great leader of the country which is an

interesting way to rise to power just sort of being like it's mine right. Like it's not like the last piece of chicken. Excuse me I'm super awesome. So who's running this. Probably just gonna be a charge. Hey how about this guy and the great myself. The great leader also which is what you call yourself. It's a little presumptuous. You name yourself that. It's a tad presumptuous. So Kim Il-sung began grooming his son for leadership early on putting him in control of the propaganda and agitation department of the workers party which reading it now does sound a little funny. You're in charge of bullshit and fighting. Alright that's my boy. You're gonna lie to that guy you're gonna punch him. If he calls you a liar beat the fuck out of him okay. Okay it's in the bullshit and punch department. You good with that. We'll come up with a catch your business card title.

Between 1970 and 1980 Kim Jong-il occupied several positions of increasing power and by 1980 a personality cult began to form around him as the great leader's successor. So it's genetic that Kim Il-sung just sort of was like I'm the coolest I've ever bought it and Kim Jong-il basically did the same thing. So then so everyone was like well he came from that other one so he's awesome. Well they were there the day he was born so they knew something special was about him because of all the rainbows. Oh right well the rainbows happened. The rainbows happened so they were. The winter turned to spring. Really after that do you really have to give the heart so. Oh look if I see a rainbow on a day a man is born I follow him. If you vote for him he's the next great leader. So he was a real daddy's boy and his dad came to power. Everybody is a daddy's boy to this guy like yeah he was so was everyone on the fucking place. Yeah that's true. So his dad gave the power to his son so once Kim Jong-il became the supreme commander of the Korean people's became commander of the Korean people he actually changed the position of president he actually abolished it and gave it a new title. The title was General Secretary of the Workers Party and Chairman of the National Defense Commission. Because it's easier to say easier to say it's catch here. It's good. It's a good thing to have the acronym for it. The acronym for that would be why it makes sense. It would be the GSWPCNDC. See that makes more sense. Catchy. You read it out like that. He pronounced that word. President. This is an easy word. He was designated as the supreme commander of the Korean people's armies thus giving him the tools he needed to maintain complete control of the government once he took power. But weren't they already that? Yes they were. Yes for sure. So he's just doing more of the same. But he's got a new position title so that's fun. Kim was known to personally manage the country's affairs and set operational guidelines for individual industries. So he had his finger in a lot of pies. He said to be arrogant. He was said to be arrogant self-centered. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You're telling me this guy's arrogant? Yeah. After everything you've read? Well. I don't know if I believe this.

If a unicorn blew you when you were born wouldn't you have a little bit of a chip? I guess that's true. Yeah. I mean come on. Hey I'm the fucking rainbow guy. Yeah. You wouldn't. I mean being the rainbow kid is like being a child star. You're like this kid's gonna grow up shitty. I mean look. He believes that a fuck rainbow? Come on. The fuck is he gonna do? He's probably gonna become a junkie. This does not work out. Did you see the Dana Plato story? I mean right. What are you talking about North Korea? He also he openly rejected criticism. He was not a fan. He was not a fan of opinions that differed from his. Okay right now we're talking about my dad. But I love that he openly rejected criticism. No Dave. Nope. Dave. He was one of those unique individuals who didn't like when people disagreed with him. So you know it's one of those quirks. It's one of his little quirks. I'm gonna openly just go ahead and say no to you. No. So. You just said that I was not this a pretty later. And you know the reality too is like even just being able to have that printed. The reality is that he would fucking just kill anybody who just didn't believe him or disagreed with him. Like what I mean by open criticism. Uh huh. And when I say I'm rejecting, I'm rejecting it. I mean I'm killing. Yeah. I want that guy killed. I don't know. I want him openly killed. Like I want him to be shot in front of people. In front of everybody. And so everyone knows. Get his family down here. We'll make a day of it. So there are a lot of stories about his eccentricities, his playboy lifestyle, the lifts in his shoes, the pompadour hairstyle that made him appear taller because he didn't like the people thought he was short and his fear of flying. Was he short though? He was short. Or were you just seeing him as short? You know right now that I think about it my eyes were short. That's what I'm talking about. Your eyes of my soul. You have a problem with your eye. Yeah. That's a good point. Thank you for making that. Kim gave firm instructions that the party's monolithic ideological message be communicated constantly by writers, artists and officials in the media. Not arsonists, which is what I almost said. But that's what all the writers and artists wanted to do at that point.

There's a guy that shot rainbows out of his asshole when he was born. And he wants us to talk about it. I think that's fair. I think he wants us to give it a little artistic integrity, which I'm fine with. According to official accounts, he revolutionized the Korean fine arts by encouraging the productions of new works in new media. This included art, film and cinema. So he enjoyed art? He not only did he enjoy art, he was obsessed with movies. He was obsessed not only with movies with western films. Was he super into critical thinking? Super into critical thinking too. Yeah. Unless it was his critical thinking. He wanted art to explore the boundaries, I imagine. The boundaries that he had set within a small property line. Yes, exactly. The small box is limitless in what you can explore. Stay in the circle. So he loved films. He was a huge film fan. He had a collection of more than 20,000 VHS tapes and DVDs. Oh my god. 20,000. That's insane. He reportedly his favorite movie franchises included Friday the 13th, Rambo, Godzilla, James Bond, Hong Kong action cinema and by far the best any movie starring Elizabeth Taylor. What? He loved Liz. Oh my god. Oh my god, she's so drunk in this one. He loved it, which is just so great. Look how drunk she is. It's just like when like it is like in Bond films when the bad guy has like a fluffy kitty. You're just like, what is going on? But let me ask you something. He probably couldn't enjoy Friday the 13th part three the way I could. No. Because it was in 3D and I sat at theaters and I watched the rats coming at me and whatever else. But you also couldn't enjoy it on the same level as him because you'd never murdered anyone. Like it's almost a whole people. So if you think about it like that, you guys, that's why I think you guys would have a great critique show.

We would have had a good, well, we almost had a crossfire together. Is that right? Yeah, we almost did a crossfire. David Kim crossfire. We're halfway into your first point, you get shot in the head. On the left, Dave Anthony. On the holy fuck, what the shit. On the left, Dave Anthony. On the he's 100% right of me, Kim Jong-il. Alrighty. Some quotes. No production of high ideological and artistic value can evolve out of a creative group whose members are not united ideologically and in which discipline and order have not been established. So that's a fun space to play in. That's not. The cinema occupies an important place in the overall development of art and literature. As such, it is as powerful an ideological weapon for the revolution and construction.

That's exactly why people make film. Yes. As a weapon. So what he is saying, you know, mixing history, political ideology and movie making, Kim encouraged the production of several epic films which would glorify the works written by his father. So if you're saying epic film, it's like a Paul Thomas Anderson or Quentin Tarantino, like there's just not a lot of editing. Exactly. Yes. If there is one thing you will find in some of the creative work of Kim Jong-il, you will find that editing is not a strong suit in the North Korean film department. So despite his creative influences on the industry during the 1970s, I mean the fact that he literally wrote the book on communist film making called The Art of Cinema, North Korean movies stunk. Nobody liked them. Yeah, they were not good. People did not enjoy them. What about the scripts? Was it the director that was drawing them? You know, the problem was that there was just a creative influence inside that just wasn't making them work and he couldn't find out what it was. That's so weird. He was unable to put his finger on it. Strange. But he was frustrated. He really was so obsessed with film that this drove him crazy. So did he know they were bad movies? I think he did. I mean, I think he definitely did. I mean, because he's continuing to try to make them better.

Japan and even South Korea were making films that people were actually responding to and here he was with 20,000 movies and he couldn't make a fucking film to save his life. Well, I love a story about art, so continue. And keep in mind the plots were great. So he's frustrated. So he sought help by forcing 11 Japanese cultural consultants into servitude during the late 70s and early 80s, only to have several die inconveniently on the job, some by their own hands. Did he kidnap them? Yes, he kid. Basically, he took 11. He took 11 Japanese people and he made them try to make movies that had the North Korea. Like what he's doing to which is amazing is that he just it's it's his it's his propaganda. It's just not going to get made right. Right. So he's just fucking like pissed that nobody can do it. Everybody can't do it right. But everyone's like, well, the plots are your fucking movies.

Well, that's terrible. It's like bullshit. First of all, the title, your own title is horseshit. Oh, your own? He's not good at titles. The title you gave yourself was bad. I can't even tell you about the movie. He is not good at titles. So he had a movie to stop horses with stagecoaches and take bank money. Part two. Because you wonder how the first one end. So he was very frustrated. These people were dying. It's very frustrating when you when you hire slash take a a person who to come and make your film and then they kill himself.

Well, they were there for a little while and a lot of them killed themselves. And so Kim Kim was still on the search for his Orson Welles. Seth Rogen. Enter. Enter Seth Rogen James Franco. Which brings us to Shin Sang Ok. Okay. Love them. The son of a prominent doctor of Chinese medicine. Shin Sang Ok was born in Chongjin at the northeastern part of the Korean Peninsula at the time occupied by Japan.

Shin studied in the Tokyo Fine Arts School. The predecessor to the Tokyo National University of Fine Arts and Music in Japan before returning to Korea three years later. So basically he went off to Japan. He got all artsy fartsy, comes home to North or to South Korea where he's going to make films. Right. He learned all this. South Korean films are really good. We all, I mean, we all remember. The host.

The host. Other ones. And all the others. I mean, the list goes on and on. There's the host. There's the others. It's crazy. There's the sixth movie, the seventh movie. The other ones. And then the ninth is just crazy. The ninth one is amazing. It's crazy how it works. There's a whole bunch of them.

There's so many. So Shin started his film career as an assistant production designer on Viva Freedom. Great title for sure. I mean, look. Viva in its Korean film. Sure. I mean, who doesn't say yay freedom? I mean, we've all seen that in Korean.

Viva. It was the first Korean film made after the country achieved independence from Japan. So it really was, this was like, as much as we're making fun of it, this really was starting to enter like the South Korean golden age of cinema. Right. Right. And like the fifties and sixties. And after that, Shin started directing prolifically. He was writing, he was making more than two films a year. He had the nickname, The Prince of Korean Cinema.

The production company, he started Shin Films produced around 300 films during the sixties. Jesus Christ. 300 films. What, they were like two day films? Like what the fuck is that? They were winning prizes though. The Prince of Yongsan, you remember that one from 1961. Love that one.

It was the winner of the best film prize at the first Grand Bell Awards ceremony, which I know you're getting an award from. Oh yeah, I'm gonna be excited. Yeah, I'm gonna grand bell for the pumpkin man. But he's on top of the world. Yeah. He's on top of the world. He's fucking cranking out films, he's doing what he wants to do. And what does he need?

Well, he needs a dame by his side. So he begins dating the biggest star in Korean cinema at the time, someone named Cho In-hee. You're getting tough. I think it's fine. But so she's hot. She's hot. She's the shit. This guy's fucking living the life.

And he married her. Fuck yeah. So he made her an honest woman, right? Fuck yeah, this story is awesome. However, that only lasted so long because in 1978, Cho divorced Shin. What? Shin was apparently having some affairs. She found out about it.

He's allowed to, he's the giant pumpkin man. I agree with you, I agree with you, but Cho was not into it. So it was clear that Shin was still the best director that Korea had to offer. Fuck yeah, it is. Even though he's divorced. I don't think anybody's debating that. Now who do you think took notice of Shin? Probably some people in Hollywood.

Kim Jong-il. Kim Jong-il took notice. Really? Of what Shin was doing. It's so weird because you'd think the way their interests are, they wouldn't overlap. In 1978, Kim Jong-il hatched a plan. Oh god. He would use Cho as bait to get Shin.

What? What? Cho was kidnapped in Hong Kong. They're already divorced, right? They're divorced. But this seems like an end to the problem. You know how a sloppy it is getting divorced. You still have emotions.

Cho was kidnapped. His ex-wife was kidnapped in Hong Kong. She was taken to Hong Kong docks, bundled the board, and taken on an 8-day trip to Pyongyang. Good. Good trip. A great trip. I've always said if you want to go to Pyongyang, get a bag over your head and make it take 8 days. Holy fuck.

It's the best. Okay look, you know what? It all sounds bad, but it's all for the good of film. Well, after hearing of his wife's disappearance, Shin traveled to Hong Kong to investigate, which I think makes sense. Yeah. You want to know what happened, and he's trying to get to the bottom of it. Figure it out.

Right. Unfortunately, at that point, Kim Jong-il had him kidnapped as well. Well, okay, so did he like walk into the same warehouse? Was it like... Here's what I can tell you. It's like an empty chair, and he goes in and... Someone suddenly pulled the sack over my head, and I couldn't see anything or breathe properly, he said.

Have you ever seen the movie where the chick gets taken? Taken. The vanishing. So it's like the vanishing. It's like taken. It's the movie, the vanishing, when the guy goes to a gas station. I mean, there's a better version that I think I want to say from Amsterdam. Okay.

But there's a woman gets taken from like a gas station, and then she gets buried alive, and then the husband is going crazy, and he eventually somehow gets in contact with the guy who took her, and the guy says, I'll show you what happened to her. Yeah. And then he takes the guy and buries her. Buries him, and he goes, that's what happened. Was that a North Korean film? Because it sounds very similar.

It sounds like a very similar plot. So he'd taken him. So Kim Jong-un had finally... Kim Jong-il had finally just kidnapped his Orson Welles. Thank God. It's on. Now we can make good North Korean movies. Now we can...

Look, he just got this guy. He got this guy. He brought him in. He just, again, he needs consultants. Can I just say that it worked out so well with the Japanese guys. Yeah. I can't see it doing anything but good. If you're Kim Jong-il, you definitely don't bring up the Japanese experiment.

No, it's not like that. They had great ideas. Was the last thing that went through their head not a creative idea, but a bullet? Sure. Sure it was. But you know what, this one is... Plus he's got the actress that he... And don't think that he doesn't plan on using her.

So Choi was the first one to arrive after being kidnapped in Hong Kong by his secret agents in 78. I was really terrified. It was so frightening. I was in such a worried state that I couldn't eat or drink anything for ages. Finally I faded and later learned that they'd injected me with some sort of sedative. So it's a nice arrival. Yeah. When you get off the plane in Hawaii and they lay you.

It's like having a little bit of jet lag except you've been kidnapped. Except it's a sedative that they've injected you with. Because you've been kidnapped. You know how jet lag is. It was not long before the reason for the kidnappings had been made clear. Kim Jong-il confessed that the reason he had kidnapped his wife and the reason he had kidnapped him was because he wanted Shin to come and make films for him. North Korean films.

With death being the other option, Shin Sang-ok said, Okay. Yeah, well, it's... So either you'll kill me or I can make movies? Yeah. So... I'm gonna go ahead and make movies. That's a great idea.

Because the other one, you die. I mean, I feel like there should be some more negotiating room. Negotiating room is kind of when I shoot people. No, no, you live here now. It's gorgeous, isn't it? No, it's terrible. It's gorgeous. Is that a...

A dead Japanese man, but don't look at that. 1444? Yes. Yes, this is that. Oh. Yeah. Is there a problem? No, we just have newer cars.

Oh, this is the top of the line. Oh. Yeah. This is the fastest car in North Korea. Okay, that's great. Yeah. That's gonna sometimes go up to 20, 30 miles per hour. Yeah, this is gonna be great.

Sometimes. This is gonna be great. You're gonna love it. I love it here. So he's filmed that. So the couple of rides... Why is that person eating a flower? Hmm?

Oh, her? Don't worry. We're gonna have her killed. She shouldn't be eating that. She's gonna have to eat flowers and she knows it. Well, they're all just eating plants. Yeah, they're all in a lot of trouble. They're not supposed to be eating those.

Okay. Those are for torturing. Okay, fair. Not for eating. I didn't know. Yeah. Well, listen, you gotta learn hard and fast here. I'll tell you something.

We play hardball here, pal. Yeah, I get it. So don't be eating flowers or looking at me in the eyes or disagreeing. They look really thin. Yeah, they are really thin. The flowers? No, the people. We'll water them.

We'll water those flowers. Okay. Soon after the couple arrived in Pyongyang, he took them on a private tour of his film library. Again, 20,000 films. This is all of my stuff. I mean, and you know how annoying it is now when you have like VHS tapes? Yeah.

Like, we're all VHS. So somewhere right now, 20,000 VHS tapes. Just like, what the fuck are we gonna do with all these Elizabeth Taylor movies? I know I'm just kidnapped you, but I want to show you all my awesome shit. Which is great, which is really like a theme, obviously, in this is that he, while he kidnapped them, he was going to kill them if they did anything besides that. He also was kind of being like, you know, which just the three of us creatively working together.

Yeah, we are the same. Yeah, we're buddies. So sorry that they kidnapped you guys. Anyway, now that you're here and I could undo it, let me take you on a tour. What's the, what's the fucking Santa Bernhardt, the comedian, the comedian movie? Oh, yeah, yeah. Punchline. Yeah.

No. The King of Comedy. King of Comedy. Right. The King of Comedy. Yes. It's like the King of Comedy. Except it's another country.

Yep, exactly. He took him, told them that he had placed $2.5 million into an Austrian bank account and told Mr. Shin that the money would be available for him to make quoting good films. So again, he's just on the quest to make some good fucking movies. And this is 1970. This is in the 70s when they were kidnapped, late 70s. That's a good budget. It's a nice, nice chunk of change to make some fucking propaganda bullshit.

Now initially, the director was not sure exactly what the North Korean meant by a good film, until he took note of what he had watched most often. So he noticed that he liked Bond films, he liked Elizabeth Taylor, he liked Godzilla. These were all films that he so- Put them all together and what do you get? Well, over the next two years, Mr. Shin made more than 20 films. Holy, what the fuck? Many of them propaganda tales commissioned just by Kim Jong-il.

So Kim Jong-il is telling him, you know, only make good films. But again, he's being like, here's the films you should make. I want you to make good films. Here's the script. Yeah, exactly. He's like, yeah, do whatever it is, but make sure it's about people understanding that they need to listen. He's like, okay, cool.

Okay, so this movie's about listening? Yes. And then the follow-up is called Obey. Yes. And please, these are good, right? Don't eat those flowers. The next movie is called Don't Look Me In The Eyes. I'm not short.

And I'm not short, too. So Life Would Be On Yang, for the lovely couple, was not just making films and ballgowns. Shin was actually unhappy. How were they getting along, the two of them? At this point, I believe that they are kindred spirits. They never got back together. They didn't. They did not get back together.

Because that would be like you wanted. That would be great. It would be a good movie end. But unfortunately, that's not what happened. But they were definitely on the same page of let's get the fuck out of here. This is horrible. This is a nightmare. By the way, this is a terrible thing that's happening.

So Shin, they both hated it. And a couple of times, Shin actually tried to escape. However, both attempts fell short and he was caught. Oh, boy. Awkward. Super awkward. Super awks. You know what?

I'll put it in a movie. Don't do that. I was doing character research. Don't do what I did. Running away is bad. Man. But you know Kim Jong-il. Nice guy.

Right? He wants to help them. So he just sentenced them to long prison terms for their insubordination. Oh, my God. There they would receive reeducation classes designed to teach them the error of their ways. Right. This is fucking crazy.

No, it makes sense. I was jailed for about five years. But I didn't know at the time that it would end up being that long. If I had known from the start, I would have rather been dead. During this time, I was very, very, very depressed, they expected brainwashing to change me. His wife also ordered to attend the reeducation classes was forced to study North Korea's glorious revolution and later made to sit in on exams on the subject. What?

So they tried to fucking, because he fucking kidnapped them, they tried to fucking leave. He would fucking bring them back and not see that the problem was that he just thought he could break them. Right. He was like, well, no, you're here now. You're here. Did he call himself the master of puppets? I would think that he did at some point.

And I am the master of puppets and so, and plus, you guys get to make movies for me. How awesome is it that you get to make, before you were just making movies for everybody, now you get to make movies for me. Well, I know how stifling it can be to make films about literally anything that you want. So here's a pinhole. I'm going to use some very small parameters. Work within that. Work within that.

She was, she was also, she was also going through the brainwashing. Her quote. I was very unhappy. I did think of suicide, but then I thought of my family and how much this would hurt them. It was just an awful time. Pretty. That was an obvious magazine.

Have you read this week's issue of obvious, well, no shit. I would kill myself, but it would hurt my family. And what's, and they're separated too, and they both do just talk about how like literally all they thought about was killing themselves. Like they just, they just wanted the only reason why they didn't was because they had a family. So his, so he was kept in an all male prison, by the way. This is going to happen to Seth Rogen and James Franco.

Well, that's what's, it's so, maybe that's what's so fucking crazy to me about all this is that like you think about it, like North Korea is the fucking worst. The idea, the idea that we would listen or that anyone here would listen to North Korea about anything. Let me just say, I'm going record right now. North Korea did not hack anything. You don't think? Nope.

So then what the fuck? Why? Why? Because Obama, I mean, they're saying that they did. I know. They said, they said that they said that Sonoma saying attacked. That who was? Sonoma saying was part of 9 11.

They said that. Yeah, I agree. For sure. It's a total bullshit. But I also think that a huge mistake that was made was that Sony decided to not release the film. I totally agree. I mean, I think like if you, if you wanted to put out there, hey, look, this fucking little

dickhead is crazy and he's saying he's going to bomb theaters. If you want to wait, you might just want to wait. But the idea that we would be like, take it away from him. I know. I mean, this guy's been like, I could shoot nukes at California and we're like, OK, fuck face dick, asshole. Oh, you're going to bomb a movie theater. Yeah.

I mean, it just is crazy. I'm very upset by it, as you can tell. I'm just so emotional. Anyway, Oak was kept in an all male prison for those years where he was forced to survive and this is really fucked up. Seriously, this is the guy that this is the fucking director that he loves. This is Orson Welles. But so then why is he put?

Why is he putting him? Because he has to teach him. He tried to escape. Two times. So he's trying to break him as a man. He's trying to break him as a man and he's trying to change his thinking completely. But for when he was in jail, he was forced to survive on a diet of grass, salt and rice but wait as punishment for trying to escape backup.

That's just the North Korean national diet that, you know, that's not far off. I don't know if they actually had my job. Yeah. But have you ever had that? They serve it down at the grass train. I'll tell you. I actually love the grass train. Have you been to grass and rice?

Well, you know what's funny is that what he had is not too far away from my actual diet. Not so much the salt, but the grass and rice, yum. Oh, no salt for me today. Thanks. So he's in jail. He hasn't seen his wife in five years. He's thin.

He's thin. He's got that beach body we're all going for. He's talking about. He's got that sweet dexter trim thighs. He looks good. And he was finally released and reunited with his wife at a lavish government party. Shin recalled the conversation he had that evening with Kim Jong-il over soft drinks at the event, which by the way, wait, wait, hold on, slow it down.

Yeah. Okay. So we just, now when they say soft drinks at the event, are they, is it like bragging? You know, knowing North Korea, it totally is like, you know, he comes out, he's like, I see you, uh, have a Dr. Pepper. We are the party. We have a Dr. Pepper. We have a Mr. Pib.

Oh, so the pot. Oh, I'm not going to have a squirt. Huge event. Seven up. Anyone? It's like a. They drop. Uh, so he's, so they're there.

He's just gotten released and he's at a government event and he's having fucking drinks with the guy. So Kim Jong-il and him are chewing the fat, having a fat chew. The day he got out, he's brought to a government event because, because what Kim Jong-il does is he makes it so that you don't connect him with this stuff. That's what he's trying to do. Oh, gotcha. Gotcha.

So he's like, hey, I gotcha. So the people are kidding. So he kidnaps them and then he takes them on a tour. Where were you? He throws them in jail. I was looking for you at this time. Yeah. Yeah.

And he. I had a Mr. Pib here. Which has got to be, as somebody like in the palm of his hand, you have to just be like, I'm so fucking scared. Fucking crazy. I'm so scared. Look at me. Look at my eyes.

Yeah. You love Mr. Pib, right? They're dead. I'm here. Oh, cool. Soda. I just thought about suicide for five years while I ate grass. But I had Mr. Pib the whole time.

And you, I didn't know where you were. You're an awesome guy, sir. I had known where you were. I would have totally gotten you out. But I just found out yesterday because I was like, where's the guy that makes my movies? Yeah. I wish you'd asked that four and a half years ago. But cool.

It's great to be here having soda. You know what? Here we are. You want to talk about movies? This is in the past five years. They've made some humdingers. Wouldn't that be amazing if he was like, well, so we found somebody who's really good. I'm just going to have you killed.

Have you heard of Robert Evans? Bob Evans. Because shit has changed while you were in the hole. You know, one of the better decisions I made was kidnapping Bob. Ever since I kidnapped Bob to here, we've just been, it's really been blossoming. The motherfucker stays in the picture. Also a whale barfed when I was born. What?

A whale? Yeah. That's not as good. Okay, so he's talking to Kim Jong-il, quote, the North's, the North's filmmakers are just doing perfunctory work, said Kim. They don't have any new ideas. Their work has the same expression, redundancies and the same old plots. All our movies are filled with crying and sobbing.

I didn't order them to portray that kind of thing, but, but the truth is, stop crying. I can't, I'm in North Korea. I mean, exactly. So, so, didn't you get enough grass last night? I mean, at the movies, you just get, you know, putting salt on your grass in a little box like it's popcorn. It's really good grass. Oh my God.

But that's the thing, right? Is like, he wants people to express themselves. Art will reflect what's happening in the world. And all they know, all they know is hell. It's fucking hell. It's, all it is is sobbing and crying. I think this during their great starvation period, if I'm not wrong, we can't wait for that to end.

Periods been going on for quite some time. Uh, so, so Shin, so Shin and Joe went back to work for the fucking regime. What else would you do? No other choice. No other choice. And keep in mind, they like, they, they were locked down. They were not like they, there was no, I mean, you know, besides trying to literally run out of North Korea, they had no other fucking option.

Uh, so they went back to making films from their situation. Was obviously not comfortable. Does the rest of the world know what happened to them? This story? Or at the time? No, at the time. I don't know. I mean, obviously, like Korea, South Korea is going to know they've gone missing.

Right. But I don't think there was enough evidence or push. And also it's the same, same thing with the interview. I mean, nobody wants to fuck with this country because it's like a cornered hornet. So you're just sort of like, you don't, you know, the only thing it's going to do is sting the fuck out of you. Can we please rename it cornered hornet? So, so he, so that, but that's the problem is that just nobody wants to fuck with them.

Like if you get kidnapped, it's almost like, you know, you got a disease. You're like, well, I'm sorry you got it, but I don't have it. Take care. Die it out. See you later. Um, so they were, they were not, their situation was not comfortable. They were essentially under house arrest. They were, they were not, uh, they were not allowed on, they were not on set sometimes

because trust had been fractured for these films they were making. But Shin had unparalleled access to the reclusive Kim. He listened to me because we were from South Korea, Shin said, even though we criticized some things, he wanted us to be honest. Others would have been killed for speaking so honestly. So he does have this weird platform where Kim Jong-il will actually let him disagree. He has so much respect for him as a filmmaker that he doesn't kill him. He doesn't kill him.

How he'll let him disagree. It's that kind of freedom that allows art to really prosper. I agree. What a comfortable environment and creative space to play in. From 1983 on Shin directed seven, by the way, uh, Spielberg is the same way. Very similar. Yeah. If he respects you, he won't kill you.

Yeah. No, I remember a lot of people died on Jaws. But if you're a PA, forget about it. Oh my God, don't fuck with him. From 1983 on Shin directed seven films with Kim Jong-il acting as an executive producer, which just has to be, has to be a comfortable set when your EP's behind you and you know put you on a grass diet for five years in jail. Hold on.

I love the script. I just want to, I want to make it known that I want to be EP on this one. Great. Yeah. Great. Okay. Well, we want to make sure you're on set a lot. Everybody feels really comfortable when you're around.

Yeah. Talk about like, I mean, when Kim Jong-il is on set, you miss the network. That's how fucked up that guy is. You see the new, you see the new crying and sobbing on the EP on that one. Yeah. I know it's my country, but I'm the EP. Well, a great two that he complains about crying and sobbing films because he was using North Korean actress and actresses who probably couldn't take breaks from weeping because

of their fucking living conditions. So there's, these films are not good. What? These films are not good, but the best known of these films is a film called Pulgasari. Fuck yeah it is. Pulgasari, it's a giant monster film made similar to Godzilla. Oh yeah. Here we go.

So I'm going to give you the plot of Pulgasari. Fucking roll it out. Pulgasari. In feudal Korea, the evil king becomes aware that there is a peasant rebellion being planned in the country. Oh, great. We're going to have to stop that. He steals all the iron and farming tools and cooking pots from the people so that he

may make weapons to fend off the peasant army. After he returns to the property of the people, an old blacksmith is imprisoned and starved to death. His last creation is a tiny figurine of a monster, Pulgasari, a Godzilla-like creature that eats iron. The blood of his daughters, the blood of his daughter brings the creature to life and fights with the poor, starving peasants to overthrow the corrupt monarchy. Wait.

It's very strange like that. Because- Why would he make a movie about revolution? It's really weird. Maybe because he thinks he would, because they think they were the revolution? I think why he allowed it to be made was because he was sick of crying and sobbing in films. I really do.

I think that Shin was just like, saw that he loved Godzilla and probably just pitched him something that was more Godzilla-ish and had something that the people would fucking respond to. Because naturally you would think this would be a movie about a monster like shutting people to fuck up, but it's actually a movie about rebelling a little bit. Right, but that shouldn't be in that kind of movie. It should not be in that movie. I guess the other thing too though is if you're Kim Jong-il you're like, nobody's gonna fucking

do anything. Right? I mean- I had this shit locked out. I just had steak for breakfast, they've eaten grass for the last three years. The next movie's gonna be called Lockdown. Next movie? So don't worry about this one.

You know when I made Fuck You, it was a real roller coaster experience. Have you seen Go Eat Dirt? You know, when we thought of that one. Yeah, I remember when I came up with the idea for Go Eat Dirt. Oh boy. Oh boy. What a Eureka moment. Rainbows shut up everywhere.

Oh my god. A unicorn high-fived me. So- Okay, go ahead. Well, the problem is that some of the films took actual years to finish. So, Pulgasari aside, in some of the films you can actually see age in continuity areas. Someone will literally look ten years older in a scene and then minutes later will look miraculously young again.

So that's part of the problem with- Hold the flash forward, flash back. And that's part of the problem with putting your fucking filmmakers and cast in prison for years. Well, you say that, but I think it helps the artistic integrity of the film. I mean imagine the prison doing hair and makeup when you show up. I would pay money to have Tyler Perry put in prison and then let him out and then put him back in prison again.

It would be great. Right? Oh, for him. Yeah, that'd be great. Medea has weird time changes. Oh, Medea. Oh my god. I mean, what if the new guy kidnapped Tyler Perry if that was the end result, if he kidnapped

Tyler Perry? That would be great. If he was just like, who's the best filmmaker in the West? Tyler Perry. Get him. Finally, in 1986, the first time since they'd been kidnapped, the couple were given permission to travel abroad together. What?

Why would he do that? They'd been in North Korea for eight years and it's the first time and the reason was because they were allowed to go to a film festival in Vienna. What? They were heavily chaperoned by Korean soldiers. None of this makes sense. They were heavily chaperoned. None of this doesn't make any sense.

What? What does he think? He controls the world? This is fucking crazy. Well, that's the thing with him, right? Is that he totally does think he controls the fucking world. You know what? You guys can go to Cannes.

Go to Cannes. It's gonna be great. Who are you airing? I think you should take the new movie, take, we're eating husks, head down there to France, and really make a big splash. Let him know about the sequel, Barfing Husks, which we're excited about. But the reason why he did let him go is obviously because it would promote North Korean cinema. Which is terrible.

Which is terrible. And also, he's kidnapped these people. He has kidnapped these people and now he's asked them to go into the real world. It's a great plan. I don't know. What could go wrong? How could this go sideways? Well, okay, maybe a little something went wrong.

They did manage to persuade their guards to travel in a taxi behind them as they were headed for the festival. What? This just doesn't even... What the fuck? Well, you know how it is. You don't want to squeeze six in. Oh my God.

Okay, but you guys are gonna follow us, right? Yes. We're gonna follow you right behind. Look at me in the eyes. You're gonna follow us. Yes. So we'll see you at the hotel. Yes.

Absolutely. Promise. Run. Promise. Promise. You promise? Promise. Alright, we'll see you at the hotel.

Run. We got to a crossroads where we were supposed to turn left for the festival. Okay. So here's the deal. How did you escape? We made a right. Like, that's the... Our Minder's car was following about 30 meters behind us, but several other cars had gotten

in between us and them. So we told our driver to turn right instead. Turn right towards the United States Embassy. Seconds later, the car behind them realized that something was wrong. Holy shit, you guys, they're not following us. And also just picturing it. They said they were gonna follow. Picturing it like a roundabout or like something where you're sort of like, oh, come on, we

gotta move. That's literally, literally the future of North Korean cinema just turned right. This is how fucked up they are in North Korea. They are so scared of the great leader that even if they're in another place, they won't disobey. So they think that they're just gonna keep following. That's how fucked up they are. That's very true.

That is really true. They probably were like, well, they won't divert from the plan because they know what happens when you divert. You eat grass from a bucket. No, they'll just be in the U.S. Embassy eating a nice steak dinner. Well, they did head towards the U.S. Embassy and seconds later, the car realized and they radioed the taxi that the shins were in and asked their driver to tell them which way he'd gone.

So they lose them and then they're like, yeah, copy, come through. Hey, where the fuck are you? Hey, you have our kidnap people? We really need to keep kidnapping those people. And also, could you keep the fare down? Also, yeah, I don't have the meters running. We will not pay for all this. We're escaping the side.

No, we did not say make a right, so this on you. However, and again, you're gonna love how delicious this is, the couple quickly handed them a sizable tip and told them told him to lie about which way they'd gone. Say they'd gone in the opposite direction. Oh my God. So the Stooges were thrown off. Jesus Christ. Soon they arrived at the U.S. Embassy, but they could not find anywhere to stop outside.

And the couple had to get down the road. We tried to run as fast as we could, but it felt like we were in some sort of slow motion movie hitting falls in this North Korea. Well, everything, their whole life is same thing, things through movies. I mean, imagine. Yeah. They just burst through the embassy's doors and asked for asylum. They didn't need asylum.

They're Japanese. Listen, when you're Korean, whatever, you just go anywhere where there's anyone else and you're just like, don't fucking let me go. You don't need asylum. You just run and say, I've been kidnapped by North Korea. Yeah, but you just anything, you're just like, give me a blanket of water. Finally we burst through the embassy's doors and asked for asylum. On hearing the news, Kim Jong-il, on hearing the news, Kim Jong-il became convinced that

the couple had been kidnapped by the Americans and sent them a message offering them to help get them back to Pyongyang. It was an offer they could easily refuse. Look, there's no way they ran away from this awesomeness. It's amazing, right? They couldn't. You know what? Look at this.

He jailed them. He jailed them. They're out of there for five years. It's like the country is being run by actual crazy people. It's actual crazy people. He didn't think that they would possibly, like there's no way they would not them. They would not do this. We had talked about a beautiful future of Korean cinema.

It's fucking mind-boggling. Kim Jong-il died on December 17th, 2011 of a heart attack while traveling on a train, which by the way is also like, they beefed up his birth so much. I would really love it if like they could just come up with a better death story for him. Well shit smeared across the sky. A shit comet flew across the air. We knew his soul was gone.

Media reports say that the leader was on work doing official duties. Upon the news of the dear leader's death, North Koreans marched into the capital weeping and mourning. Have you ever seen the footage of the North Koreans when Kim Jong-il died? No. Anyone should Google it because it's very crazy. It's very sad, but it's very crazy because what happens is they have to pretend to be sad.

Right. So it's, you know, thousands of people in the middle of, you know, the city are going like, oh, wailing, but there's not one fucking tear, there's not a tear, you couldn't find a tear. And some of them are not good at fake crying, but they're all, oh, they're just weeping their fucking heads off. And that's my story. It was too normal.

So that's the, that's the Christmas dollop. Wow. Fucking wow. But the reason why I think we thought that we should do that was just because of what has literally just happened and it just is so fucked up. And I'm so against it and I'm so pissed because I really think that that has probably fucked with film forever. Well, for, yeah, for a long time, yeah, without a doubt.

Yeah. And I just want to, I mean, I'm wondering when the new Pulgisari reboot is happening. And I'm still on record is saying it's not, it's, it's not going to be North Korea at the end of the day. That's great. It's going to be some hacker. It's going to be probably some sort of insider at Sony who's mad at the company. There's a lot of weird stuff in the actual record.

Like the apparently the, the, the Korean that has been left as traces isn't, isn't the, they speak a different Korean in North Korea. Oh really? And it's not, it's like, so it's like the South Korean Korea. What you would leave if you were trying to leave the print of Korean, right? But it's not. It's like, it's not the crazy dialect that they, well, that's good. Yeah.

That's all good. It's all good. That's exciting time. Fuck man. I had no idea. Those poor two fucking people. It's terrible. And there, there's a lot.

I mean, you know, it, you can't say enough about how awful that situation is. This is why you don't go into film. Yeah. This is why you don't go looking for your ex-wife. I, I wonder if he still has the VHS tapes. I, I, what, they still have the VHS tapes. What I love is like the idea that like, maybe it's just, like, like here, like I put a bunch of shit in my closet that I, like, I just love the idea that they're, they have like

a garbage room where they've just got 20,000 fucking. And then they go to another room and it's laser discs. Yeah, laser. Yeah. I really thought this was going to be a thing. Yeah. Yeah. He's got, he's got his MP3 player.

He's like, God, I really overbought, dad really overbought an MP3's, didn't he? Dad really, dad really got behind laser disc is the next thing. Yeah. Holy fuck. All right. Merry Christmas, David. Let's hope they kidnap Seth Rogen and by the way, you want to hear a little Seth Rogen fact?

Yeah. The, and when he there decided to make the movie, Seth, someone at the studio was like, we can't make this with Kim Jong-un and Seth Rogen was like, no, no, we got it. It's going to be great. Trust me. And then Sonny was like, we can't do it with Kim Jong-un and Seth Rogen was like, no, it's going to be fucking great. We got to do it with him.

So every step people would, people would object and he would say, no, we got to do that. But he almost punched it through. I know. He was a week away from punching it through, but this is why they were worried about it. Of course. And, and I will say it is, I, I believe like it's tough to defend this, but I believe he was right. I believe he did make a film that I was much more interested in seeing because they had

literally based it on the guy who's the fucking dictator right now. No one would want to see it if it was based on a false person. And now at the end of the day, had they made it with a false person, for sure, the movie would have made more money and gotten seen, but over zero over zero. But again, the zero part is not Seth Rogen's fault. That's the fucking pussy studios, right? And the, in the theater chains and the theater chains. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Now, Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. How long is that?