The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 430 - Jordan Goudreau vs. Venezuela

Episode Date: May 21, 2020

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the May 3, 2020 invasion of Venezuela by a couple dozen bros.SourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

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American History podcast. Each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story while secluded in a room to my friend, Gareth Reynolds. Who is secluded in a kitchen and has no idea what the topic will be about. That's true. You don't. Do you want to just just just for fun do you want to list a few of your the things that are associated with you? You're Dave Anthony. I'm just sort of star for attention and talking. I don't know what you're. Yeah, I'm Dave Anthony. Shortswear, drinker of tea, dog, petter. I am a dog petter. That is true. I do pet a dog. So do those. Now, where is this coming from? I just feel like maybe I maybe I just I've

just had a lot of time to think and I just feel like maybe I was shutting it down because the world was our oyster and then and now I kind of don't get to see or talk to anybody so I just feel I've been thinking about it and I think people like that when you did that. So maybe you do that again. Isn't it a little bit too late when you know when you crush a man's spirit you know when you when you use that dude use that and Dave Anthony this crushed spirited fella. What? Okay. Grudge holder unable to compromise leader. What? That's not even that's not even a thing. Come on, man. We're just spitballing. All right.

Start recording. Let's do one. All right. Watch wearer owner of earbuds pour of dog food into bulls Dave Anthony. Yeah. Yeah. So it's actually a free bird. And called it quote his jam patch. I'm the fucking hippo guy. Okay. My name's Gary. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to Tiggly podcast. Okay. Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. Actually, my friend. 1976. Whoa. Year of our Lord Jesus Christ. That's right. Yes. Jordan Goudreau was born in a suburb of Calgary, Alberta. Okay, a famous Alberta. Sure. Both his great grandfather and his grandfather were in the military. Okay, his father Paul said quote, he's got a family full of military

people. All right. Very straightforward. Not much. Jordan was raised in an upper middle class family neighborhood. His friends described him as intense and competitive. All right. I'm wondering what the enemies say. He was into video games and kung fu movies. Well, there you go. Adds up. And he enjoyed brawling. Okay, so it's so this person has a violent tendency is this person is bred for violence. He once got into a boy. Oh, was that what we're calling him? Yeah. Well, because people the grownups taken. Oh, well, I mean, I don't think he's actually known as Pitbull the grownup. Well, now he is because we got to once getting into a

fight in high school that involved a weapon. So that's how into fighting us. Okay. He brought a weapon to a Canadian high school fight. Okay. He went to the University of Calgary and got a degree in computer science. Sure. Unexpected turn, I think. Yeah. After he graduated from college, he Jordan joined the Canadian military. All right. Finally. I don't even I don't even know they had one. That's very exciting. They do. Yeah. It's in. Yeah. It's in a little shanty. There's six of them. Hats are on backwards. They got to the ice fishing hole. Yeah. Yeah. Keep some ice. Any wars? No, but I declared war on this trout. He just doesn't know it yet.

Hopefully, we don't reach a treaty. Oh, God. You're funny. You're a funny one. Yeah. And just to be clear, your parents were Irish and then they brought you here when you were four, right? Yeah. Right. Okay. Yeah. That's why I talk all weird. Yeah. That's what it sounded like. So I just wanted to. That's right. Oh, it's getting thicker. Is it good that my 11 year old does a better British accent than me? Well, I'll say this. You start early. It helps. So yeah, but I do like any time he dominates you. So it's great. Yeah. Everybody does. Yeah. But being in the military wasn't enough. Jordan wanted more. Okay. Or should I say more than the

Canadian military? What he wanted was to be in the US military. Well, there you go. I was just gonna say. That's where the good times are. Yeah. Right. Download the new model, bro. That's right. Yeah. So that's the Canadian military after a year. He went and lived in Washington with a relative, Bobby McDonald. Can you tell her? Can you imagine how crazy you sound to people in the Canadian army where it's probably just very relaxed and, you know, you're probably crawling through some foxholes and stuff, but it's pretty chill to be like, you know, I kind of like the way the Americans are doing it. And like head down here to join ours.

There literally isn't anything that anyone anywhere should say, I like how the Americans are doing it. Yeah, like truly, the yeah, like the only the other way that a Canadian should come to America for anything is if they tripped and fell here. That's right. So he tells his relative that the US army would challenge him more. He listens, Bobby. He's in he's now in his mid 20s until Bobby, the US army had recruited him and offered him $75,000. Sure. Like a free age and football player. Yeah. Because that's what the army does. Yeah. They scout Canada. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. No, they just, yeah, they go watch like Canadian

drills and there's just scouts on the field just like, Hey, that Jordan guy. Number nine. What's his deal? I like the way he stabs. He seems like he's got a screw loose. We might take that. Really? He really gets his legs up, doesn't he, when he runs? Really out of his mind. Is he eating the stuffing out of that dummy? Yeah, we've told him to not do that. Jordan. Jordan. I want that guy now. No, I had Jordan's got a lot of problems. I don't know if you want Jordan. He ain't a dog. How bad are the problems? Because the military, we really like people with problems. Really bad. He's a ticking time bomb. All he needs is an inciting moment.

Okay. Now there's going to be a bidding war. So you're joining the Air Force and the Navy, Jordan. Bobby said Jordan was arrogant and off-putting and a little bit odd. She once asked him to pick up a loaf of bread on his way home, but Jordan told her, quote, he didn't know how to do that. Yeah. Well, to be fair, I mean, that's not something that you, you know, I mean, if you're not taught, it's like shaving. How do you know? I mean, I love a guy that is so doesn't care that he doesn't even try to make up an excuse. Yeah. Someone who has a fully hollowed out lie just ready to be busted on just to like placate you is pretty, that's a

solid position to be in. It really is. Hey, would you do the littlest thing for me? I don't know how to walk. I can't because I don't, I don't want to. It just sounds like a huge pain in the ass. So shut up, I guess. I don't know. What's the... Can you pretend like you don't know me from now on? Not now, Jerican. But Jordan did end up joining the US military after... I really thought you were going to say that he got the loaf of bread, which I was going to be like, that's me. I know. Yeah, he never got that. Okay. He became a member of Charlie Company in the first battalion at 10th Special Forces Group, which is actually a very difficult company to get

into. So he's legit. He's not, he's not, it's not the weirdo we would expect him to be. Right. He was part of a unit that dealt with counterterrorism in Europe and was deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan. So he's a Green Bray. That's what we're talking about. Wow. Green Brays, who served with them, said that Jordan was a gifted soldier who was very charismatic. Okay. That feels like the first straightforward compliment we've gotten for him out of any group of friends or enemies. Yeah, it's good. And no one likes him until, until soldiers. Until the Green Brays. Yeah. One said, quote, he was incredible. He was who you wanted in the

trenches with you. But Jordan was also a bit of a hothead. Right. He seemed to delight in, in getting into fights. Okay. One night, one night he and a friend were leaving a restaurant in Stuttgart, Germany, when a group of dudes followed them and started giving them shit. Where are you going, fancy boys? What's you wearing? Not tight pants. God damn it. I'm sick of people mocking our loose pants. Jordan explained what happened in a video he would make about his self-defense skills. Well, now Dave, we might need to take a time out because that's crazy. So he talks about what is probably, I guess, an unfolding assault in a self-defense

video at some point he makes in some way to advertise his abilities, probably to monetize, I'm assuming. That's right. And the video he says, he took off his, quote, trendy button-up, fitted collared shirt, best suited for going to the club. Sorry, is this like one of those fake J. Crew stories where it's just like an LL Bean story? I took off my tightly fitted long johns and my camping boots. So I'm glistening, right? I ain't glistening. And then he punched one of the guys. Okay. So I don't know if you know what self-defense is. Yeah, I know what it is. It's where you take your shirt off and hit a fella. It's where you take off your fitted

collared shirt and then punch a guy. Yeah. Yeah, of course. I know it's self-defense. Jordan claimed that, quote, his bro left running down the street. So he had to fight those guys alone. Some bro. Yeah. So he had to self-defense on his own. That's right. But he's still a good soldier. One former Charlie Company soldier, quote, he was an extremely talented shooter in a talented group of shooters. He told the Washington Post that he negotiated with warlords in Afghanistan and took part in difficult battles in Iraq. Quote, I did Seder City in 2006. I fucking watched Sudam Hussein hang. We fucked everybody up in that city. Well, I mean, to be fair,

I think that's what Rumsfeld said going into it, wasn't it? It's really not that much different. Yeah. I mean, that's basically what the policy was. Yeah. His none of his claims could be verified by the Washington Post, though he did spend months in combat and was awarded three bronze stars. Jesus. Okay. All right. Then in 2012, the defense department. Can I just say very quickly that when we went into Iraq, that was self-defense? Yeah. Yeah. 100%. They were near a country in which a guy was living in that did a thing. I'll go one step further. They hated us for our freedom. And that is an initiation. Yeah. Thank you. So we freed

them all from their lives. Yeah. Then in 2012, the defense department began an investigation into accusations that Jordan defrauded the government of $62,000. Wow. Okay. This guy. Yeah. No loyalty. I bet you before he stole the money, he took his shirt off too. Well, that's what you do. It's self-defense. It's self-defund. It was believed he made extra dough by claiming his wife was living in Brooklyn from 2009 to 2012 instead of where she actually lived, which was Arizona, North Carolina. So the military pays more money for housing depending on where he lives. So if you're in Brooklyn, you get the most money. Right. So basically, he

was skimming, right? Yes. But there was a wife in Arizona. There is a wife. The wife is real. She's not a fake wife. She's a live wife. Okay. Thank you for putting it in so badly. Well, that's how we talk here on the dollar. So in the end, no charges came, but he probably ended up owing money. That's what it sounds like. Okay. A friend of Jordan said he came to an agreement to pay back the money over time. When the Washington Post asked him about it, he said, quote, it was nothing, man. Great. Okay. Well, thank you, Jordan. I think we're pretty good on our end. I don't think there's anything else we... So just to be

clear, the $62,000 in question, when we say to you, did you take that? Was that illegal? Your response is... It's nothing, man. It's nothing. Okay. Okay. And then there's also some violent history here. I guess maybe we'll just follow up on very quickly. Seems like you have a bit of a... Nah. Nah. This guy is charming as hell. Am I the only one who's just... I'm like putty in your hand. Now, there... Obviously, there's been a couple claims of murder now. We just wanted to... We'll take off my shirt now. Well, I'm glad we stuck around. God, you are an absolute treasure. I'm glistening. So are we. See how I'm glistening? That's great. See how my fist is

balling up? That's great. This is great. This is great. Here we go. Can you do that into the tape recorder? Yeah. Great. Just dance into the tape recorder just because I want to be able to transcribe this later for my article. That's perfect, Jordan. In 2014, Jordan was injured. He told the Orange County Register that he was shot several times and quote, blown up once. Well, what? Sorry. What did you eat? Dynamite? Like a cartoon? I think I've blown up once. I've never been blown up. Well, then I think you just say that. What happened? I blew up and I got a couple shots. You don't go... I was shot a couple times and then obviously I exploded. I popped like a

goddamn water balloon. You guys should have seen me. You're lucky I'm here. My pieces were all over. Thank God for my wife in Brooklyn. She stitched me back up together. Now I look like Hobo's pants. What? I should go. Self-defense. The records indicate something else. He never received a purple heart, which one would get if they were shot and blown up. He injured his back and got a concussion while parachuting. And then... Where? Jordan left the mill. We don't know where, but I assume it wasn't in a combat situation. Okay, that's just how I want to make sure. Okay, gotcha. Because if it was in a combat situation, I believe

he would get a purple heart. And also then that would make sense. I thought what we were talking about was more of a civilian life where you're like, I was shot, I exploded and I've been parachuting. Where did they deploy you? Arizona. Phoenix. Don't worry about Arizona. It's hot. Phoenix area. So Jordan left the military in 2016 for medical reasons and began collecting disability payments. Okay. From that point, he started drifting. He drove around the country on a motorcycle with a hammock. Wow. So that actually sounds like the best life ever. That's... By the way, that's how I wish I was spending the pandemic. Yeah. And Dave,

excuse me, Gareth Reynolds, Washington Post, they just recently got a hammock. I did. And I would like to say hammocks, and I've had one before, but I forget. It might be the greatest invention man has ever made. Yes. It's very good. Yes. You can see me sleeping in my hammock on my Instagram, David, Dave underscore Anthony underscore. Sure. It's a dumb name to pick. You got underscore at the end of your name too? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Got the double underscores. Yeah. So he's drifting, he's driving around on a motorcycle with a hammock. Friends described him as scarred by war and devoted to mixed martial arts

fighting. Okay. All right. I feel like that might make a pretty good martial arts fighter. Uh-huh. In September, Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico, America being the wealthiest nation on earth. By the way, and in her defense, that was an act of self-defense. Agreed. America being the wealthiest nation on earth sent mercenaries to do stuff like hide the dead bodies. One of those mercenaries was George and being a mercenary apparently gave him an idea. Oh, fuck. Dave, wait. God damn it. What happened? Damn it. Well, now I just know where I know what we're in now. We're in one of these ones. Can we just have a guy without testicles in this

one or something? Those are just so that's great. I'll sing like him. It'll be great. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Anyway, this this mercenary has an idea. In February 2018, some dickhead shot up Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida. 17 students were killed. This became known as the Parkland shooting. One month later, Jordan created, but not even one month later, a few days later, Jordan created Silvercore USA, a private security company. Silvercore began posting on Instagram montages of school short shootings as Jordan narrated over them. Silvercore's website has photos and videos of Jordan

shooting machine guns in Iraq, running up a pyramid without a shirt on, flying on a private jet and wearing an army backpack with a rolled up American flag hanging out. Okay. The website claimed Silvercore had run operations in over 50 countries. And this is the website he just started? Uh huh. Yeah, the company's just a few days old. They move fast. Advisors included ex diplomats, military strategists and CEOs, none of whom were named. Silvercore also claimed to have quote led international security teams for President Donald Trump. In July 2018, Jordan was in Orlando as a listener. There's a lot of cool buzzwords floating

around right now. Oh yeah. Yeah, no, you're you want in whatever it is you want in. Yep. In July 2018, Jordan was in Orlando at a school safety conference where sleazy hucksters from around the country tried to convince freaked out school superintendents that their security company could protect students from being shot. He told the Sun that sense of a newspaper quote I saw Parkland and I was like, well, nobody's really tackling this. So I want to fix it. Isn't that you thought we saw? Oh yeah, for sure. That was the first thing I thought. My first thought was, oh, I got this. Yeah, I know how to do this. But the

first thing I did was I set up a website where I was like, I got this. Yeah. Jordan stood out from the rest at this conference. He called himself a counter terrorist. He had a buzz cut. He was in a tight gray suit and had his shirt unbuttoned down to his chest. Some Germans might have been behind him. So he manned a booth, right? He has his own booth while behind him on a TV screen, a video of himself talking played. Well, that's a good vibe. That's always a good that's a good energy, right? When you're doing like a satellite conversation with yourself. And now for more on Silvercore, we go to me in Iraq. Go ahead, Jordan.

Thanks, Jordan. Here I am in the back of your booth right now trying to help you pitch Silvercore. Everything here could not be more restless, but don't worry. Silvercore's got it. We've been here for years, even though the website started two days ago. Back to you, Jordan. Thanks so much, me. So Jordan called his version of school security, clandestine. Well, sir, it's I mean, finally, finally, someone saying finally. So here's his pitch. He wanted to embed ex special ops soldiers in schools posing as teachers. It's just it's like a great plan. It's like what if 21 Jump Street did cocaine? He thought if the students thought that they were

actual teachers, then the students might be willing to tell the soldiers how they were feeling. And some of them might even explain that they might want to shoot up the school. You know, what is kind of adorable is it is a pitch for therapy deep down. Yeah, a little bit. But then why would you just have it? Why would you just have more therapists? Why would you not just have undercover therapists, which is just such a better idea? Yeah. Jordan at one point play acted how a conversation with go would go between a student and his mercenary slash wood shop teacher for potential customers. Very, very shrewd to make it the wood

shop teacher. Because any other teacher, you're like, well, wait, but does he know French? Well, no, he doesn't know French, but he's not really teaching. Yeah, but what are the kids learning? Well, I mean, you know, he's like they're learning French. He just can't help teach him. Well, yeah, but they need teachers so they get smart. Well, they're not going to be smart if they don't have a chance to live. That's where my fake French mercenary comes in. This is Monsieur protection. Hi, how are you? I don't I hate Paris. Okay, great. So let's just touch. Good, really good. I like making a wood shop teacher. It can be like a guy with a buzz cut is

just like, it's a two by four. It's like, see, look how appropriate he is in this class. So you want to know what he said? This is what he said. He's got a group of guys around his booth and he goes, uh, so, so quote, he's just a, he's just a cool wood shop teacher. Then he, and then he, and then he does the play acting. Hey, what's up, fellas? I go, I go sit down with a kid who's alone playing Dungeons and Dragons, and I just try to see whether there's any problems. Dave, this is, this, this is why this is so bad. This is undercover bullies. This is like, this is not, these are, this is not the person to be trying to find the empath. And I mean,

empath path to like, he's just like, all right, so he's a big fucking nerd who's never gotten laid, right? So I go over, I see he's got a bit of a limp dick. I spin my chair around. I sit down. I'm like, Hey, pointexter, why is your dick so limp? Maybe you just got to fuck someone. And he's like, but I can't, I can't. I go, Hey, turn that frown upside down. We're getting you contact lenses. You're going to do some squats. Put him in the gym for two weeks. Next thing you know, he's dating Sheila on the cheerleading squad. Thanks to the shop teacher. I just love, I just love the idea that in the wood shop, there's like, so I knew

kids who played Dungeons and Dragons, literally the last place they would ever play Dungeons and Dragons was in the wood shop or the metal shop. Yeah. Oh, for, for sure. Yes. And also they didn't want to be there at all. Imagine a mercenary approaching this hypothetical child. Oh my God. Yeah. I mean, it's just like he doesn't have the tools. Yeah. To send, to send, to send anybody with a combat first instinct, my guess is they're not going to get to the root of the issue as much as they're going to be like, Well, have you thought about shooting the school? Excuse me, Dave, you're not like, what? You not suggest that to him? Well,

it's just he seems so disgruntled. That seems like the quickest way to fix. Do not suggest that to him. Well, he's such a weak little bitch. I don't know. No, I understand he's a weak little bitch, but we're here to not make him a weak little bitch. Now find out if I think we fuck this kid up. What you got some right here. I can hear you. Look, look. All right. Look, we've talked to each other and we've decided I'm going to roll. I got an 18. I got an 18. You're both dead. You're going to have to fight one of us in the quad. Jordan said his new Florida private security form, Silvercore USA, we're in discussions with

a few Florida schools, quote, were the counterterrorist component of the military special operations and we're all retired guys. Just what you want in a school. I feel like you just cut a hole in my stomach and everything went out of me with that sentence. Jordan never explained exactly what his ex-soldiers would be teaching, but he did have the price plan all figured out. What? Pricing would happen not through the school districts, but rather parents would be charged $8.99 a month for each student. Quote, the beauty of it is it's all for the price of a Netflix subscription. I was just going to say

we're getting rid of Netflix so that you can have a armed mercenary guard in your class. I'm sorry teacher. And the thing is I bet you there would be like... Oh, oh, a time. I bet you in the hands of somebody who was like, I know soldier, I know people who have this training who probably could actually help you in some way. It's just not going to be the person who sets up the price plan first. That's right. He said he wanted to do this, have the parents pay him directly because that would help him stay independent from the school district's change of command, which is definitely what you want. Yep, for sure, totally.

No one knows if... Real quick, we had laws at one point, right? There were these sort of things that we had, right? Not that I remember. Okay, because at one point I feel like somebody was flagging stuff. I don't think so. Okay, great, okay. I don't remember that at all. Okay, all right. No one knows if any schools purchased the services of Silvercore, but someone who did use the company was President Donald Trump. Silvercore worked at a Trump rally in Charlotte, North Carolina in October 2018. He was just one of several companies that were hired to do security at a rally. He also did security for a Richard Branson,

the British owner of Airplanes Virgin trying to destroy the British healthcare system, that guy. He did security for a Richard Branson concert in February 2019 that the billionaire held on the border of Columbia and Venezuela under the auspices of getting aid into Venezuela. Apparently ending sanctions wouldn't get aid to those people, so you have a big charity instead. Yeah, also that is so true if you're him working that event. I mean it just shows that you're purely, you have, yeah, you have no, because the United States is doing everything they can to undo that, so. Yeah, the

concert was also to support the self-declared president of Venezuela. Juan Gallido. So the whole Venezuela thing is very complicated, but I think I can break it down very simply by saying for a long time there was a socialist, very popular president. There were attempted coups against him. Then he died and one of his seconds took over Maduro and he has not had as good of a run, but mostly the thing that's destroying Venezuela are outside forces, particularly capitalism destroying a socialist country. And then at some point, there were definitely some shenanigans with Maduro, but here's

the thing about Venezuela. Just what it's very simply, he has raised so many people out of poverty that it's astounding and he, and that's why he hasn't been overthrown. Essentially, it's white people against brown people and that's pretty much what's going on. And what they're trying to do is replace a socialist with a fascist. So we can see what happened in Bolivia, that just went down in Bolivia. They overthrew the president by saying that their election shenanigans, now there's a fascist in charge, everybody was on board, Elizabeth Warren, all the greats in the Democratic Party, and now it

turns out that after a while, they did a study and they were like, oh, no, there was actually no election shenanigans. Oh, so there's just a fascist in charge now? Oh, that's cool. But you got rid of your socialist. So let's just kill people. But also in Venezuela, we want to help the oil. People, people, sorry. Right. Whoopsies. There's no greater right now example of lying propaganda in America than Venezuela. And when real quick, when Trump brought it up at the State of the Union, both sides of the aisle stood up and clapped. Yeah, well, you can't, you just, you can't have a

socialist country in anywhere in the southern hemisphere. But they also call the other, they call Guaidó Democrat, they call him elected. Yeah, he's not elected. Yeah. So anyway, Jordan posted a video on Instagram of himself standing near the concert stage with the caption quote, controlling chaos on the Venezuelan border where a dictator looks on with apprehension. Yeah, man. Yeah, bro. What is your reaction if you see that in your feed? I'm like, I'm laughing. I think I'm like, it's just insane. Like, how's that? During his time in Columbia, Jordan realized there was an opportunity for civil court to help

with Trump's efforts to get rid of Venezuelan president Maduro. And while Jordan was there, he met retired Venezuelan general Cleaver Alcala. Now, Alcala was the leader of a bunch of ex Venezuelan officers and who were plotting to overthrow Maduro from Columbia. And then there's a bunch of businessmen there. So it's all the, it's all the rich guys who bailed. And it's, and it's, I mean, most are in Florida, but a lot of the rich guys who bailed are on the border. And then there's a bunch of ex soldiers who also want to take them out. Okay. There have been some recent attempts on Maduro in 2017, a

helicopter pilot through grenades at government buildings as he flew over. Now, can we just say, well, completely an act of terrorism and violence that it is that to me, sounds like somebody forgot a couple things that morning and had to kind of rush to put the plan together. Or somebody likes the seventies, because that's a very seventies sort of move, flying over something and throwing out helicopters, grenades at me. Throw it, throw it, just tossing. I mean, it's old school. When you, when you are the launcher. Yeah. Yeah. A year later, drones were used to try to kill Maduro during a parade. That's right. Yeah. So a huge parade, right?

Yeah. Yeah. So Alcala has, now this guy also has ties to Maduro, the general. He had been a supporter of Hugo Chavez, who was Maduro's mentor. And Alcala's brother was Maduro's ambassador to Iran. And Alcala was also wanted by the U.S. for drug trafficking. Okay. In 2011, the U.S. sanctioned him for trading surface to air missiles to Colombian grillers for cocaine. Yeah. You're not allowed to do that, Dave. It's just something you do. I mean, you have cocaine. You got, yeah. Well, I didn't know. I, this, I actually never realized that they actually sanctioned individual people. So they like freeze their bank accounts. So that's what they did.

They like sanctioned this dude. That's an international grounding. What, what can I say? I got, I can't, they sanctioned me. Who, you got, I specifically me, I was sanctioned. Who's sick? The U.S. sanctioned me. I can't get my money. I can only text five times a day because I'm under sanctions. It's such bullshit too. They wouldn't even hear from it. I'm under, they said four to six weeks. It's just crazy. Wow. Yeah. So where are you cashing your checks? Well, it's, I can't really, first of all, most of the checks just go right to them because of the sanctions, you know. So I sent them my check and then they just give me a big

thing of butter and cheese and bread for the week because I'm under sanctions. And then I got to stay inside because they put me under sanctions. It's so stupid, you guys. I am so miffed. Don't even get me started. Yeah. I mean, I can watch TV and stuff, but you know, it's just not the same because, you know, again, like I said, they're trying to bring me to my knees because, you know, they put me under sanctions. All right. Well, we're going to a cocaine and money party. Oh, for fuck's, what? Sorry. Let me go, let me go talk to them. Let me see. If they know there's something like that, maybe I can just do an extra

weakest sanctions or I can do some yard work or something to make up for it. Oh, so jealous, you guys. Yeah. All right. We're going to take off. Just meet us there if you want to, if you can. I just know I'm not going to be able to. I just have this government cheese. Just talk to them. The U.S. is very like, they can give a little. The last time I talked to them, we got into an argument and they gave me another week and a half of sanctions and no pocket money. Oh, they're usually really malleable with this kind of stuff. No, I don't know who you're talking to, but anyway, I should probably remember when they remember when they were like

buddies with Saddam Hussein and then a few years later, they were killing them. I mean, you just don't know which way they are. Like the way is the wind blowing and that's how they kind of are. You know, I just, I just don't remember that last part, but everything else rings a bell. Anyway, have fun guys. I'm up. I make a fondue with my government cheese and bread. Okay. Sounds great. They're sanctions. Yeah. Have so much fun. Yeah. Bye. Bye. In Colombia, Jordan had a meeting with Alcala at the J.W. Marriott in Bogota after the concert and the Marriott was already the center for any exile who wanted to

overthrow Maduro. Conference rooms were reserved. Just seems like a weird sort of thing. And are you trying to kill Maduro or a vacation? A vacation. Okay, great. Fabulous. There you go. Conference room were reserved for military deserters who had been involved in drug trafficking, shady financiers, and former Maduro officials. One attendee called it, quote, the Star Wars summit of anti-Maduro goofballs. Okay. So Dave, I'm going to need you to get me the contact information of the person who said that. And I'm going to talk to them about analogies for a little while. The meeting lasted two days. Jordan learned Alcala was planning to send 300

rebels into Venezuela in two groups to the cities of Marrakaibo and Caracas. Alcala said he had picked 300 soldiers who abandoned Maduro and fled to Colombia. And they, he found most of them in flop houses and in street side encampments. Several dozen of the ex-Venezuelans were now living in three camps. Alcala had around the La, oh, I shouldn't even, La Guajara Peninsula. One of them was the man who had tried to kill Maduro with a drone in 2018. So all the, all the classics are there, the greats. So this guy's ready to Rambo up for a sequel for sure. Fuck yeah. So the plan was to... You guys talking about Maduro?

Yeah, I didn't want to bring it up. But yeah, yeah. You want to know what won't get him? Okay. What? I won't do it again. You're right. I keep... No, you're gonna do it again. Just do it. Just say it so we can get on with it. You can't drone him to death. They'll get you. Okay. I tried. Yeah, but should have been a lot better at it. It's a fucking drone. I didn't practice. I didn't know. It seems like it's so user-friendly. I did everything up until that point. How would you know? I didn't know the... No, you asked the question. Hear the answer. Okay. I didn't know what the range was. What the fuck? It says it on the box. Yeah, but then it has a button that's supposed to

return it to you. And I kept clicking that and the app didn't download properly. Do you know who uses drones who builds them themselves? ISIS. ISIS knows how to kill people with drones. They do it all the fucking time. And you can't even, you can't even take one out of the box. Would you just shut up and let me tell you what the new plan is? Okay, what? We're gonna throw grenades at him from a helicopter. Okay. Okay. Is it the 70s? Like, what is that? That's a crazy fucking... All right. Tweak. We're gonna throw drones at him from a helicopter. All right. I gotta go. I gotta go too, but I can't. Still here, huh? No. You want to hear the story one more time, don't you? No. No. So the plan is to

go into Venezuela, kidnap and take Maduro to America, where he'd be tried on drug charges. Then they would install... It's an ambitious plan. Yeah. Then they would install Guido as president along the way. The groups would raid military bases and hopefully start a popular rebellion with the people that would lead to the end of Maduro's rule. So they're thinking, once they get in there, everyone's gonna join them. That sounds like a screen play that's dying for notes. You know when Rocky's running through the Philadelphia streets and all the kids start running behind him? Yeah. Right. They think it's like that. Right. But with an invasion. Yep. Yep. Yep. And after taking out a popular president. That's

right. Jordan immediately told Alcala he could help him. He's like, I hear you. I got this. He said Silvercore could get the men ready for battle. They talked about weapons and equipment that would be needed. And Jordan estimated it would take about 1.5 million for the whole operation. Jordan said he had connections high up in the Trump administration who would assist them. So it's all good. It's just so, it's just, it's hard to believe. So after the two day meeting, the American men who had introduced Jordan to Alcala stopped all contact with Jordan. They thought the plan was a suicide mission. Okay. Well, that's good to hear at least that somebody's like, hey, that's too much. When he returned from

South America, Jordan began to take advantage of the Trump administration's desire, he began to look to take advantage of the Trump administration's desire to remove Madero from power. One of Jordan's business partners at Silvercore, who the COO said he was always, quote, chasing the golden beat, which in military talk means he was always looking for a get rich quick scheme. And it turns out Jordan was $100,000 in debt. There it is. A friend said, quote, he was having a lot of problems with debts. He had separated from his wife and was still paying her expenses in New York. Excuse me. Excuse me. She lived in Arizona. So he's like, God damn it. I really screwed myself. She must have. She's like, shit, she's still pretending

she lives there even to me. So I got to pay her the New York rate. She's coy. She's very good at this. Well, she says she lives in Brooklyn, even though I see her in Scottsdale all the time. So Jordan asked the COO of Silvercore to help him raise money. It's a house Maduro. Just a normal conversation. Sure. Yeah. How to overthrow a president. The COO said, quote, as supportive as you want to be as a friend, his head wasn't in the world of reality. Nothing he said lined up. The COO then ended their business partnership. Dave, before you said the CEO wanted to end their business partnership, will you read the sentence you read just before

that real quick? Because I think it's important. As supportive as you want to be as a friend, his head wasn't in the world of reality. Nothing he said lined up. So I think you would find that sentiment in 85% of the episodes we do. That's probably true. If we just, if we had a friend who just was like, Hey, Ted, no, like, maybe, maybe it's okay now, but no. So meanwhile, in Venezuela around this time, Gallardo is trying to get you started. This is when the trucks are on the bridge and they're pretending to trying to get aid in and they're saying there's medicine on the trucks and then they burn the trucks and they say, Maduro, burn the trucks. And then there's video showing that it was actually, guy out is guys who

burn the trucks and then they find out there's actually no medicine. It's just all surgical equipment. So it's just all a bunch of bullshit. The enormous level is a propaganda, right? Yeah. It's just all fucking nonsense. So Jordan around this time managed to get himself introduced to President Trump's longtime bodyguard, Keith Schiller. Keith had gone to an event in DC that was set up to fund possible, to find possible donors to Jordan's cause. Gallardo's coordinator for delivering humanitarian aid was there. So Jordan's getting closer and closer. In April, Gallardo tried to push another uprising in Venezuela. He fails again, which is what Gallardo seems to be best at is failing. Jordan and Keith then met with

Gallardo reps in Miami. Okay. The disgusting creasing. Okay. It's very, it's very close. It's very strange. Yeah. No, he's, he's getting closer. They discussed increasing security for Gallardo and his advisors in Venezuela and around the world. But the meeting made it clear to Keith that Jordan was completely in over his head and incredibly naive. After the meeting, Keith cut off all contact with Jordan. So what we're learning is things are good unless Jordan shows up. Yeah. Anytime Jordan talks, other people are like, Oh, I don't want to do this. Oh, that guy's crazy. And if Trump's bodyguard is smarter than you, you're in, you're in a, you're in a lot of

trouble. Yeah. So Jordan goes back to Columbia with four combat vets and they began training. I'll call it Jordan didn't fully explain their plans when they met the men in the training camp. Some of the men were told they'd be part of a heavily armed convoy. And once the invasion started, they'd been crocus in 96 hours. The belief was as soon as fighting began, materials hungry and demoralized army would just completely give up. Well that's, that's definitely how you want to estimate the enemy's strength. That just go with the, I think they'll just be really lethargic. Don't you? I feel like they'll be tired.

Well, so here's the plan. We go in and then they all just give up. Yeah. I think what's going to happen is we're going to be greeted as liberators. Oh God. Oh God. No, no, no, this has never been wrong before. We know where they are. They're in the east, the west, the north and the south. So Jordan at the camp fires up the men and gives them hope. There's a video that was shot that shows a Venezuelan man saying, quote, in a video of Goodros encounter with a group leaked to social media and confirmed by one, oh wait, so sorry. So there's a video of a Venezuelan guy saying to Gayeto, quote, Mr. Jordan, we want to give thanks to you for

fighting for the freedom of a nation that is not yours. Thanks to you, we will all free Venezuela. Wow. So he's just brought you by Hallmark. Yeah, insane. Despite the connections made by Jordan with, you know, the body, the bodyguard and whatever else, according to the AP, quote, no serious attempts to seek military support were made. I think I know part of the plan is probably, you know, and then once we have the palace surrounded, that's when we put the shop teacher in. Wait, what? That's when we move the shop

teacher in. Yes. Wait, okay. Where did the, who's the shop, why is there a shop teacher? I'm sorry. Well, you see this gentleman here with the ruler and the pencil behind his ear? Yeah. This is Mr. Duncan. He's a shop teacher. Or is he a private assassin? I think everybody's understanding what I'm talking about finally. The plan is pretty straightforward. Mr. Duncan here will enter the president's home and pretend he's going to teach him how to make a birdhouse. As soon as Maduro, no, don't shake your head because there's more to this. Please, let me finish. As soon as Maduro is struggling with the roof, which is guaranteed, that's when

Mr. Duncan will come over and offer to help him, which is when he will reveal that he's not at all a shop teacher. The ruler's actually a katana blade and the pencil is a detonator. We're going to blow the whole thing because we've wired it with C4. That's when the shop teacher will take Maduro out over his shoulder and we will all get our dicks sucked by anybody we want. Okay? What? That's how it's going to work. The battle will be over the second we get him out of there. It's like capture the flag. I wasn't with you, but then the last thing you said about the dicks, now I'm kind of in. That's right, everybody. That's where people seem. I'm glad people

stuck around for the ending. That's right. Can we just go do that and get rid of all the other stuff? Mr. Duncan, the shop teacher's got to go in there first. All right? Okay? This is the best of the best. This is the best plan that anyone's ever finished talking about. Yep. Yep. Yep. Thank you. So, okay, so now in Columbia, there's an ex Navy SEAL who is somehow connected with other guys who are against Maduro. I'm going to run for president of the United States. He gets sent to the training camps for some reason. He's sent there to train them in medical training. So, he's never met Jordan. He said, quote, there was no chance they were going

to succeed without direct U.S. military intervention. He was just sent to give the medical training, refusing to give them arms training, unless it was officially sanctioned by the U.S. And he gets there and he says the situation is not great. The men were staying in remote rural homes. They slept on floors. There was no running water. They had to use the local river to drink and wash their clothes. Meals were skipped because there wasn't enough food. They did not have rifles, so they were training with broomsticks. This is like firefest the army. They were five bombs. Again, pretend that broom's a rifle. Shoot it at the target, Danny. They were five bomb-sniffing dogs and had to be given away

because they couldn't afford to feed them. I'll tell you what, I can't damn wish these fucking things could smell food. What a bit of smarter thing to give their noses to training for. The ex-Navy Seal told the men, quote, you guys, if you were backed by the U.S. government, do you realize you would have plenty of food? It wasn't anywhere close. What? Nothing. I mean, these guys have got to be like, this is garbage. I feel like you're not going to do this. So it's not close to the 300 men, I promise. It's more like 60 guys. One Gayato insider said, quote, it was like Game of Thrones. Everybody was pledging men, but they didn't

all materialize. So the ex-Navy Seal becomes worried when the men tell him that Jordan bragged about being security for Trump and that weapons were coming. Jordan also claimed he would organize an air attack on Madero's compound to help the invasion using U.S. helicopters flown by American pilots wearing Venezuelan military uniforms. I, honest to God, I'm like, this is so telling that I don't know if we have one foot in reality and one foot in delusion. I don't know what is real. What is it? I mean, how crazy is this guy?

I mean, he's insane. This is all invented in his head for the most part. Well, well, food, I told you. So the ex-Navy Seal thought this all sounded crazy and like bullshit. So he looks up Jordan's Instagram and website and then told the men, quote, this guy is not who he says he is. Hey, what are you guys looking at? What are you guys checking out on your phone? Your demeanors have shifted entirely. What are you guys reading about? Hey, guys, hey, guys, let's put the phones. Let's not, is anybody, let's not Google because there's so much misinformation out there. So let's just, let's not put your phones through. Everybody seems

a little weirder since they look at their phones. Let's not do that. I'm in charge here. Okay. I'm competent. Can I ask you one question? No, sir. I kind of want to say no. Why are you running up a pyramid shirtless in a video? Oh, that's actually a softball. Well, because I wanted to gain all of its knowledge. Okay, I'm going to go home. I'm going to go back to Bogota because this is- I'm going to come with you. That sounds great.

No, no, no, no. You and I are going to get married there. No, we're not. Okay. Well, I guess I'll just stay here then. All right, guys, let's eat some of this dirt. The men gave the Navy SEAL a three-page list of supplies for the invasion that Jordan had written up in June. A time machine. 320 assault rifles, zodiac boats, one million in cash, night vision goggles, sharpies.

If you saw a kid writing this up in school, you would send the shop teacher therapist over to talk to them. I like that it has one million in cash and sharpies on the same list. Let's go. We're going to need one million dollars in cash. And then it seems like we're going to be writing a lot more of these lists. Might want to get some sharpies. That's going to be a separate budget from the money budget. Also pistols and morphine. Okay, so that's pretty much what we need, just drugs, some money, and some guns. Thank you.

The line for an anti-tank rocket launcher had not necessary written next to it. Actually, we've actually been thinking back on that. That's actually probably going to be a little too much for us. We don't want to go overboard. So just the million dollars and then obviously all the pens. So there's no proof that the Trump administration knew what was happening. The Colombian government, opposition, Venezuela, the politician, and exiles were all aware of the camps. Trump told U.S. officials for sure. There was one report that the CIA knew and was like saying, hey, you guys knock this off. This is a really bad idea.

Alcala went as far as to tell the Colombian national intelligence during a meeting all about the plan. He asked them to support him. During this meeting, Alcala told Colombian intelligence that Jordan was an ex-CIA agent and that he had a great relationship with them. Then Colombian intelligence asked the CIA about Jordan and found out he had never been in the CIA. At that point, Alcala was ordered to stop openly discussing his plans to invade Venezuela or his men would be kicked out of Colombia. This guy's really got the Midas touch, huh, Dave? No one knows where any money was coming from, but it seems it wasn't very much.

One person who allegedly promised support was Rowan Kraft, who the Washington Post described as, quote, an eccentric descendant of the cheese-making family. There we go. Finally. There we go. We've got our guy. That's right. So Kraft had been at the fundraiser in D.C. So we have a Kraft cheese man coming in as a character now? That's correct. How much cheese do you guys need? All right, here's what I can do. I can do a million

pounds of liquid and a hundred million pounds of straight block. How many do you guys need in singles? This is where I, this is the limit that I have. This is my jam, man. Now you're in my wheelhouse. This is it. Here, here, here's the plan. It's on the back of the box. Read this. Can I just say four words to you guys? Welcome to Cheesetown. And FYI, Cheesetown's two words. I had to think about that first. So Kraft had been at the fundraiser in D.C. He starts trying to raise money with his rich friends. Kraft would tell his friends it was, quote,

a private coup that was going to be done by Silvercore. He learned possible donors by promising preferential treatment to negotiate deals in Venezuela in oil and mining with the new Gallero government. One man gave the AP a two page unsigned document for a six figure commitment in which Kraft described himself as the prime contractor of Venezuela. Wow. Kraft denies all of this. By August. It kind of makes you not want to buy their macaroni anymore, doesn't it? By August, it seems everyone knew about the training happening on the border to stage

a coup. Maduro said, quote, the plan is to get 32 bursaries into Venezuela to kill me and to kill Venezuelan revolutionary leaders. And they're going to do it with a woodshop teacher. Now Juan Jose Rendon was born in Caracas in 1864. His parents were political organizer. JJ studied psychology. He got a bunch of degrees in psychology, strategic planning, publicity. He goes to work on political campaigns. He founded an advertising company in Venezuela. He worked for an American political consultant. He starts consulting around Latin America. He helped Colombian President Juan Manuel Santos win reelection, but resigned at his campaign

manager as his campaign chief in a following reelection campaign in 2013 after his accused of taking bribes from drug lords. So they could get immunity. In Mexico, he was accused of hiring a hacker to create a, quote, digital arts, digital dark arts campaign to swing their 2012 presidential election. The hacker also said he installed malware at opposition campaign headquarters, allowing his team to monitor the phones and computers of the other candidates. Now the hacker is the one who accused JJ. He came out and said, this is all what happened. JJ said that never happened, but it all worked. The right wing Mexican candidate won. The hacker said, quote, my job was to do actions of dirty

war and psychological operations, black propaganda, rumors, the whole dark side of politics that nobody knows exists, but everyone can see. The Miami New Times called JJ Rendon a Latin America's Carl Rove. What an honor. Yeah, JJ was also the JJ was also the main strategist for a Venezuelan candidate who ran against Maduro in 2013. And then that's the election where they claim fraud. So JJ becomes the go-to expert about talking about the horrors of socialism in Venezuela. He calls himself an enemy of socialism. Maduro calls JJ the no one public enemy of the Venezuelan state. Then Maduro takes away his passport, says that JJ is now stateless, and he's given political asylum in the US.

Okay. Yeah, they'll love him. So yeah, they do love him. So for months, Guido has been failing to get rid of Maduro. In 2019, August, his allies formed a secret committee to brainstorm new ways to remove Maduro, and JJ was picked to lead the committee. One option that committee came up with was hiring security companies full of veterans to invade Venezuela with a private army. But the cost turned out to be a bit high. Every security company they approached said it would cost between one and $1.5 billion. So he's going to like it. It's also just so disturbing that you can have interviews about it that you can be like,

well, we like these guys better though. It's not like a contractor. I mean, it is a contractor. But I mean, the idea that you're like, well, we're taking bids for the gig. Well, it's what's his name? We did Eric Prince, right? This is who he's going to talk to and Eric Prince is like, well, it's about $1.5 billion to invade a country. We can overthrow your government and create a coup for you for about $1.5 billion. Wow, that's a lot of money. We were kind of hoping to keep it in the six-figure range. Well, we can do it for six figures, but I mean, they were not sure. They sometimes come back if we don't do it properly. We can get them out of there for about six months, but then

the spring comes and there you go, your president's back. Next thing you know. So it's better for us to just do it in two sessions. But the committee really likes this idea. And in October, the committee and Silvercore meet and they end up signing a deal. The deal is for Silvercore to stage a coup in Venezuela. Wow. Section 4a, quote, an operation to capture, slash detain, slash remove, Nicolas Maduro, remove the current regime and install the recognized Venezuelan president Juan Guiado. How is that on paper? How is that in a deal?

It's on paper. It's signed by JJ Rendon and also by Guiado. Why would Guiado sign that? Guiado. I have no fucking idea why he signed it, but he signed it as did Rendon. Why would you sign what is so, so the idea is that we're going to have a, we're going to, this is a war crime contract. Okay. Let's get everyone to sign this right here on the dotted line. There you go. Right there. Now this is one Kraft said he bailed on the whole operation. He claims he met with Jordan three times and he never talked about any kind of military plan, just humanitarian aid.

Once it became clear, Jordan was only interested in the military resolution Kraft bailed. Kraft quote, I never gave him any money. That's what he told the AP anyway. Okay. Meanwhile, more recruits were coming into the camps. Jordan got them uniforms, training increased. They were taught close quarter compact. Sorry, combat. Now JJ says after signing the agreement, Jordan began acting erratically. He kept asking for the $1.5 million retainer. Oh, did I, did I mention how much it would cost? You mentioned how much, well no, how much would this cost?

Oh, I left this part out. So, so he got connected to Silvercore. Sorry, I fucked this up. So Jordan was somehow connected with Silvercore and he pitched them in September, the whole committee. Jordan called the plan operation resolution. It was essentially the exact same idea as the Alcala plan, but instead of 300 men, it would be 800 men. And most importantly, Jordan wasn't asking for a billion. He told JJ he would do it for 2.3 million, which would all come off of Venezuelan's future oil profits. So he's like a startup. He's, yeah. So he's N running the coup. That's right. The only thing you're asking for.

If you've heard 1.5 billion, like three times, and then some guys like, I can do a whole thing about, you know, 2.3 million, but that could just come out of oil in the future. You're like, what? Yes. 200, 213 million. But all he's asking for is 1.5 million up front, a 1.5 million retainer. Yeah. Which really should show you you're about to get ripped off. Yeah. Yeah. Right. So they signed the deal. Craft is out. More recruits are coming in. Now, JJ says after signing the agreement, Jordan began acting erratically. He kept asking for the 1.5 million retainer, but was not offering up any proof that he had gotten 800 men or

he was doing anything. Sure. So they wanted evidence. We had financial backing to pull this off and, you know, the technical stuff. And sure, so they go, they're going back and forth, right? Yeah. Jordan keeps demanding the money, but he could never prove he had 800 men and at one or could get 800 men and at one point, Jordan sent JJ a text message, quote, I will get the 1.5 million in the legal way. What a shame. We gave this to you on a silver platter and you fucked up the whole thing. The idea, the idea that you're going to take him to court. Your honor, your honor, I understand

what you're saying completely and you should be upset at me, but we had a deal. I just, I don't know what you're not understanding about the law here. Oh God. So we put this guy together, but this guy didn't pay me. So I'm suing him. Can I have my money, your honor, judicial system, please now? So JJ gives Jordan 50K to see if it would just get him off his back and get him going on the deal. It did. It did not. Uh, nothing happens. Jordan texted JJ, quote, Washington is fully aware of your direct participation in the project and I don't want them to lose faith, but he was losing faith because nothing was happening. Yeah. Now at this point, now

at this point, word is completely out about the coup. A senior Venezuelan. Is that a disadvantage? I'm not, I don't know. I've never studied these dynamics in detail, but is that not something you want, Naku? You usually don't want people to know that you're doing it. Okay. Okay. A senior Venezuelan opposition official called it, quote, the worst kept secret in Venezuela. And yet everyone, and now the CIA knows, Colombian intelligence knows, Venezuela knows, and yet, and this guy in Florida knows, right? This group in Florida, uh, who Rubio, Senator Rubio is close with, except everyone says Trump doesn't know. Uh huh. Sure. Right. The Trump administration

doesn't know. Another opposition official had four meetings with Jordan, quote, I thought he was a very ambitious person. I also knew the plan was not going to work. Sure. In November, in JJ's condo, that, like you were alluding to before, that is, that should literally be the slogan of Silicon Valley. Yeah, absolutely. So in November in JJ's Miami, this is November 2019, by the way. In November 2019, JJ's Miami condo. So what you're saying is we're going back under a year. That's right. Right. Okay. So Jordan and JJ had what the Washington Post called a quote, explosive argument. JJ and the committee considered operation resolution over yet the planning continued. Jordan went to visit his men in training where he gave

them a pep talk and taught them combat classes. In January, two special forces soldiers who had fought with Jordan in Iraq joined the effort and arrived at the Colombian camps. Can I just ask, can I just hit, can I bang the fire fest drum one more time and ask when jaw rule shows up? Because that's when you're like, this is over. Like we have to be a day away from jaw rule being like, yeah, all right. Luke Denman was 34 and Arian, Aaron, must be Aaron, just Arian sounds right now. It's Aaron, but it's spelled A-I-R-A-N. It's Aaron, but I like it pronounced Arian. Aaron, Barry's 41. They're both very decorated soldiers, bronze medals, the whole, the whole

champagne. On February 2nd, 2020, all the men bonded, so they go down there, all the men bond watching the Super Bowl and the halftime show with Shakira and Jennifer Lopez. Quote, we cooked a typical American meal that day, hamburgers. There, Jordan promised them financial support. He said the men would get cars and motorcycles so they could move from town to town and then weapons were coming through Columbia with the United States support. But none of that happened. You know, Dave, when I think about him running up that pyramid shirtless, I'm wondering, was it all just a scheme?

So the men become disillusioned. Some leave. I don't have any idea why. I don't know. I don't know. So others start turning against each other because they became afraid Maduro had infiltrated their force with spies. And that's because, that's because he had. Of course, you cannot look. Loose lips maintain dictatorships. Who has a loose-lipped coup? Look, we're going to take about a year and a half with it. And I want us gossiping. Tell your wives.

Oh, oh, can we fly a blimp just over with a sign on the side that says coup? Guys, my only issue with that is it's going to get in the way of the sky rider. But of course we can. We'll just tell them to go to different areas in the sky. Jordan's attorney sent JJ a letter demanding he pay the $1.5 million retainer. That's lawyer. Yeah, fuck it. I'm in. Yeah, fuck it. He did fuck us. Fuck him. You're a great lawyer. I'm not a lawyer. I just have legal, I just have legal paper. But fuck this guy. The letter made it clear.

You dirty son of a bitch bastard, comma. That's pretty good, right? You know what? I'm going to tell you to calm, shut the fuck up, Jordan. We will literally skull fuck you if we don't get our fucking money. Is that a legal term? Yeah, no, I mean, here, I'll do it in legalese. We will literally and financially skull fuck you. Boom. Yours truly for sure a fucking lawyer. Hardball, baby. The letter made it clear. If Jordan didn't get the money, he would give the agreement to the press.

And the press, look, I have no faith in our media, but I would hope they would find an interesting threat or two within the complaint. They would not care at all. They would literally write one thing about it on page 20 of a newspaper. So the committee and other opposition officials start to worry, right? Things got worse when one of the rebels was arrested as he tried to sneak into Venezuela from Colombia. So one guy's like, I just want to go back home. Yeah, excuse me. Can I come back now? All my stuff is there. Jow rules here now. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

The Colombian cops then stopped a truck full of new weapons and tactical equipment, scopes, night vision goggles, two way radios, 26 assault rifles with no serial numbers and 15 helmets made in Miami by a immigrant family from Venezuela. The hall altogether was worth $150,000. So they were getting money from somewhere. Yes, but still that sounds still like an inadequate amount of... Oh, way inadequate. Yeah, five helmets. All right, boys. So we're going to split them during combat. We'll just be talking them around like rugby balls.

Every hour we switch helmets. We're calling it musical tactical gear and here's how it works. Then the U.S. indicted Alcala and Maduro for being part of a narco terrorist conspiracy. The U.S. alleged that they had sent 250 tons of cocaine each year into the U.S. Alcala took responsibility for the truckload of weapons and equipment. He then attacked Gallardo for betraying him. He said a contract had been signed between his American advisors and JJ. Gallardo said he never signed a contract and that he didn't know Alcala. JJ said his work with Gallardo was confidential. So all of the guys, all

of the top guys are starting to get into fights with each other. Yeah. But Gallardo signed... I mean, I personally do not know. I know about the propping up of Guaido and all that stuff. But from what I can hear so far, I don't have a lot of faith in him as a fake leader. No, Guaidos. That's the one thing people don't realize about Guaidos and he's really a fucking idiot. Yeah.

Like on top of all this, he's a really dumb idiot. Well, Dave, personally, I doubt that we would ever put an empty vessel to be in charge of a country that has oil in it personally. No. That's your personal way of operating and thinking. I just think it's a little dark. And could you imagine a right-wing leader being an idiot? No, no, no. I can't imagine a party leader from either party being an idiot. That's why the policies always change when they get into office.

That's right. So Alcala surrendered and was arrested in April in Colombia. Now on May 1st... And this is... And now we're in... May... This is this month. What happened? This is this month.

On May 1st... I feel like I'm about to see like little red lasers going through my window on my head in a second. Oh, sorry, Dave, I gotta go. On May 1st, the AP broke the story of the planned coup. The Navy SEAL, ex-Navy SEAL, who gave the medical training, he assumed it was over. He told the AP, he's like, well, it's assumed it's over now. The story was out. They only had 100 or so men, while Venezuela has 343,000 active military personnel.

So as far as the numbers go, do you feel like there's an advantage on one side? Yeah, I think the invading force has to manage because surprise. Oh, wait, there's no surprise. Well, but still, they have those six helmets. That's right. The AP, quote, the would-be insurrection appears to have disbanded as the coronavirus spread. Most are broke, facing investigation by Colombian police and frustrated with Jordan Goudreau, whom they blame for leading them astray. Madero's government came out and bragged that they had infiltrated the camps, quote,

we knew everything. Some of their meetings we had to pay for. We knew everything, what they talked about, what they ate and drank, who financed them. That's how infiltrated they were. Look, fine, I'll order the pizzas. Isn't this crazy? But two days later, on May 3rd, 60 men in two fishing boats, armed with guns and two irradios, set off to invade Venezuela. Is this the Finnian Revolution?

The men? The Finnian Resolution was far better. Yes, yes. All right. So, guys, here's what we have now. We have eight slingshots, two fishing boats. We've got a bunch of pebbles and some paper planes. Let's go. We're 60 strong and we are moving like it. Let's do this. Let's do this, gentlemen.

So as they... Hold your sharpies high, guys, so they see them. That'll intimidate them. Hold your sharpies real high. As they took off in the boats and were on the journey in the boats, many of the men became seasick and started vomiting in the boats. Good, good. Get it out now before we hit land. Now, Jordan was not in one of the boats. That's strange, I wonder. What was the problem?

His job, apparently, was to go somewhere else and announce the invasion to the world. Interesting, interesting leadership. I just... Okay, so, guys, I've been doing a lot of just looking at the plans and how it all lays out and I think we all do what our skill is, our skills. Tommy's really good with guns. Jimmy's good at boating, being a pilot of a boat. I'm really good at social media. That's my fucking thing, you know?

Are you going to announce it over Twitter? Yeah. Okay, so not just Twitter, also Instagram, YouTube, like, I'm going to fucking hit the goddamn Internet. Sorry, sir, I don't mean to be this guy. Have you heard of Twitch? Yeah, so I don't get Twitch yet? Like, that's sort of a kid's thing? Well, I really just, to be honest, if the more I hear it, the more I think Twitch might be the place to do it. Yeah, or TikTok. Sir, have you heard of TikTok?

Yeah, yeah, I can do TikTok, but Twitch, like, I don't know how to monetize it. I don't know. TikTok, the way to do it, might be to do it to a dance. I think that's the way that a lot of them do it. But if I may jump in, I feel sorry, sir, I feel like Twitch, what Twitch is going to provide you is sort of the audience experience. So I mean, you might want to go with something like that. Okay, so do you remember the part where I said, I'll do what I'm good at, which is social media and you guys do shooting and boating?

What's your YouTube handle? Big chest, big chest, Jimmy. You have 512 followers, you know, actually, there's some people I know who actually have a better following. Here's what I'd say we do. Let's take a month or two, let's get those numbers up a little bit by posting more consistently. And then maybe we could set up the Twitch and get your numbers there, because I think it would be that.

Or you could do that with TikTok too, sir. I think that still stands. Yeah, I'm not opposed to TikTok. I think what we're saying is either Twitch or TikTok, get those involved so you can really do a blast about it. Okay, well, we're going today because we lost the element of surprise. So we got to go in when they know we're coming, okay? You know, I'll be honest, I forgot about the coup for a while.

I just was so into the social media gap. So the boats get there and they get into a 45-minute gun battle with Venezuelan military helicopters, snipers, and even local fishermen who are mad at them. Those were our boats. The men who survived tried to take a boat to a nearby Dutch island, but couldn't get there and just ended up being dropped in different places along the coast. Venezuelan authorities then just swooped in and arrested them. Venezuela announced they had stopped an early morning invasion that was attempting to kill

President Maduro. Isn't that generous? And then Jordan released a video on social media. Wait, wait, wait, wait, his 60-person two-boated coup failed and then he dropped the truth bomb about the coup. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're watching this, Venezuela is now in the hands of Juan Guaido. Hi. I'm Jordan.

I'm the one who saves schools by putting armed shop teachers in your classrooms. Right now, Maduro is on his way out in handcuffs and the democratically elected Guaido, sorry, someone is shaking their head furiously at me, but I'm going to finish the announcement, Guaido is now on his way to power. And we might have lost the fishing boat or two. Stop shaking your head so furiously. I'm posting this. This is live.

It's a live stream. So he's standing on, it looks like they're on a river bank and he's with an ex-Venezuelan military officer and they announced in English and Spanish that they had begun an operation to liberate Venezuela, quote, a daring amphibious raid was launched from the border of Colombia deep into the heart of Caracas. Our units have been activated in the southwest and east of Venezuela. Jordan said his men had entered Venezuela. Jordan also tweeted about the invasion to President Trump, quote, strike force incursion

into Venezuela, 60 Venezuelan, two American ex-Green Bay at real Donald Trump. Can you imagine, I mean, like them seeing that on the president's Twitter, like Jesus, block him, block him. President Trump, I followed your orders to a tee, sir. I did everything you asked, sir. The ex-Navy seal pointed out how stupid this was. If you're invading a country with a far inferior force, you don't announce it on social media. I'll somewhat say.

But he was announcing an invasion that was already over. The men on the boats heading into Venezuela had been attacked, eight were killed, 13 captured. A few days later, more men were caught, altogether 34 of the men were captured. Two of them were Americans, Denman and Barry, who were paraded in front of Venezuelan TV cameras. I thought it was a tour. I didn't understand what they were saying. I left my wife at the hotel.

Still, the next day, Jordan told a Miami YouTube channel that's focused on Venezuelan issues, that the operation was a good one, and that there were several cells that were still active ready to attack Maduro. He also said, J.J. in the committee- That makes me believe it's not happening. He also said, J.J. in the committee never paid him the retainer. Also, I am still owed $1.5 million and five sharpies. And he tried to fire up the Venezuelans. Quote, I just want to say to the Venezuelan people that there's people fighting on your

behalf, meanwhile, Maduro just mocked- Who has a boat? So, Maduro's mocking them. He's saying they're playing Rambo. He's holding up the tag. We're starting a go-koo-me fund, if anyone could just click the donate button. Maduro's holding up the tags of the Americans that were caught. He said the U.S. government was involved in the raid. So this greatly helps Maduro and his claim that the U.S. is using Gaido as a front for

a coup. Yeah. A video of Denman being interrogated in his release, in which he admits everything he was doing. Trump in the administration denies knowing anything about it. Jordan said he tried to get U.S. backing through an aide in Pence's office, but was unable to. Pence's office said there was absolutely no contact.

Jordan was trying to get in touch with everyone at this point. So I've tried to engage everybody I know at every level. Nobody's returning my calls. It's a nightmare. Oh, my God. What a victim. Good Lord. Affluent white men being victims, it's time to stop.

But he said the operation is still ongoing. He claims JJ and the opposition betrayed him and that he wasn't doing it for money, but because it was the right thing to do. Well, the world recognizes one God as president. So they hired me to arrest the other person who has usurped his power, Nicholas Maduro. Now even though Gaido's signature is on the committee agreement, right? Which is just the craziest thing to do. If he signed it five times and handed Pence to other people, there you go.

That's great. Yeah, so he signed a coup paperwork. He still, now he denies knowing anything about it. He told the Venezuelan legislature... I do a heart over my eye, so that's not me. He told the Venezuelan legislature he has, quote, no relationship with Jordan Gaido nor responsibility for any actions. So a couple of days later, the Venezuelan government releases recorded audio of a phone

conversation between Jordan and Gaido. In the conversation, Gaido says the plan is the right move for his cause and at the end of the call says, quote, let's go to work. Let's go to work. You're not recording this, are you? Okay, awesome. Thank you. JJ says the contract was just a preliminary deal, more like an exploration to see if it

would work. He also said the committee has other plans. Trump made fun of the attempt and said if the US wanted to take out Venezuela, he wouldn't send a, quote, small little group. No, he would commit an enormous army that would get us into another quagmire over oil. That's right. Maduro has called for an investigation to learn of Gaido's involvement. Jordan Goudreau has stopped talking to media, became clear what he was really after was

the $15 million bounty the US had put on Maduro. The AP reported the US is now investigating Jordan for violating arms trafficking laws. That's in relation to the truck that was stopped. Right. Well, I know our government, we'll get to the bottom of it. In Venezuela, Gaido has now instigated two attempted coups and is not in prison, which is a weird thing people call Maduro a dictator, but that's a super weird move for a dictator to let a guy who's tried two coups just walk around.

To let him keep going. Yeah. To let him keep going. But now he has on paper tried to start a coup, so he should be in jail. Yeah. Well, another heartwarming story, David. Thank you. Just gets us further on the radar of those that we detest.

Yeah. All right. Good times. Well. I hope you're proud of yourself. We signed coups. We signed coups. America's foreign policy, coup control.

Yeah. Cut that part out. Cut that out. Okay. Go to the big laugh. Hit with the big laugh. Okay. Bye.

Bye. Bye.