The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 45 - The Past Times with Nick Youssef

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian Nick Youssef. Check out his special Take Care.  Redbubble Merch

And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb. I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. Maybe you stayed in Airbnb before and you thought to yourself this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host. Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week.

Nicky says. Hello Nick. Hello Garrett. Hello Dave. Hello. We got here without peeling back the curtain too much. It was touch and go for a minute, but But here we are you're the only guest I think an 80 year old trying to figure out New technology It was a little bit like trying to do a podcast with my mom. I got to be honest. No, but I know you didn't do anything That's what is so you know, yeah, you know what I'm gonna do though unlike an 80 year old after this

I'm gonna spend an hour and a half trying to figure out what happened. Yeah, I'm not gonna You're gonna call your granddaughter over and have her help you with it. I'm gonna call Dave's mom and ask for help How do I fix this? Well, thank you for joining us, Nick. You have a special called Take Care that we say we'd like to say everyone should check out. The best place for that is the YouTube's. Yeah, it's on my YouTube page.

I went the independent route and I say that as if it were on purpose and I wasn't completely I also Independent route also Because the dependent route was not an option Yes, yeah, and I'm I mean, I'm kidding. It's great to be able to have that option Yeah, there would be no special without it. So um, and then it's podcast as well according to Nick use F wherever people listen to podcasts and on YouTube. I'm afraid we're not we can only do one YouTube plug legally per Let me flip a coin and see which one's more important. Yeah, yeah, remember Dave could take your audio So we we like to start with a guess of what year there's no way to have any clue what year this will be it could be 1600 it could be

1990 But is that the actual time frame? Basically, yeah But but the 16 you're the 16 1700 ones are rare because it's so insane It's just like the wall will have a brick that will the lady require. And it's a bit of a pain. Seven witches were drowned today. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we've actually had, that we had a guy beat up a lady because he thought she was a witch. Wow. Yeah. I wonder if the guy suffered consequences later. No, probably not. He probably got a medal.

Yeah, I'm gonna go to that. Yeah. That man was Benjamin Franklin. He was given a grant. All right. So I'll guess I'm gonna guess. I'm guessing we'll go with an 1895 newspaper. Ooh, that's a good one. Welcome to the top staff. I'm gonna guess 1967. It's great. Great guess, great guesses. It is 1881.

Ooh, wow. 1881, you were really close, Gary. I'm getting, in the dumbest twist of all time. The one thing I'm getting good at on these shows is guessing with no context the year. I and that's the only thing. No skill. Yeah, there's I've learned nothing, but I'm like the carnival game version of this. I'm like, somehow getting okay. Yeah, and if you more episodes, you're going to be guessing it right on the dot

every episode. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Stop it. Which is no, not not going to get Franklin shoved. All right, Dave. October 10th, 1881. Savannah morning news, Savannah, Georgia.

Okay. Getto's confession, history of president Garfield's assassination, the motive, purely political and patriotic. So that's the headline. So president Garfield's. So that seems a bit slanted towards, yeah, they're like, he's listening. This guy was just, he's an American.

He's a hero. It feels like it was like a pro assassination. It's a little bit. Yeah, they're kind of like, they're like, listen, no matter where you stand on a assassination, this guy loved the flag. Wow. Yeah, that was like a early bright part.

That what did that like? Yeah, maybe, maybe. Yeah, the founders great great great great great great. It is the South, so they might be a little well, right. Yeah. Yeah. The New York Herald of Thursday contains seven closely printed columns of what purports to be an autobiography of Gato, the assassin of President Garfield, as dictated by him to a stenographer, the narrative being condensed.

It is alleged to one third of the actual amount of matter has taken down in a series of interviews. History of the assassination or as he prefers to style it, the removal of the president. And by the way, I like that. Okay. Technically, I like that. We're about, well, they're all right. Yeah.

That's correct. I mean, if it is, it is, it is right. Yeah, that's kind of, it's correct. I mean, if it is, it is right. It's one of the most cold blooded accounts of a dreadful crime that has ever been put on paper. Have they covered other assassinations? I don't know, but I don't know if other assassins have been like, I'm gonna spell this out for you of how I did it.

Can we just, can you call me what I am? A vice president promoter. Nobody's created more jobs for vice presidents than me. My idea simply stated, he remarks was to remove as easily as possible. Mr. James Garfield, a quiet and easily as no, Ohio. And in terms of quickness, it doesn't get faster. Less no paperwork. There's no paper.

Yeah, when you shoot a guy, you don't have to wait in long voting lines. He did die over like two months though. So the paperwork part is a problem. Unless you go murder a suicide, then, yeah, that's true. Yeah, no paperwork. So to remove as quick easily as possible, James A. Garfield, a quiet and good natured citizen of Ohio, who temporarily occupied a position of president of United, no, they're not. If this is his words, okay, he's calling himself. Okay. No, he's calling the president. He's calling the president a quiet good nature citizen.

Don't get mad. So he liked him. He's like, well, he's a nice guy. He's a sweetheart. Well, he's just not suited to be president. And we all know what happens. As a man, he was a friend. He was a neighbor.

He was a, he was an awesome guy. I don't know if you've ever barbecued with Garfield, but that guy's not, he toasts the buns, he's awesome. But as a president, I had to shoot him in the back. I'm the god son to his kids. I'm a great dad. He's the only regret as now. He has more responsibility. He's the only regret as now.

He has more responsibility. Who temporarily occupied the position of the president of the United States and Substituted in his place, Mr. Chester A Arthur of New York, a distinguished and highly esteemed. Hella guy, hella guy. That's super distinguished name to Chester A Arthur. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Chester Presidents better than James. There are no cobblers named Chester A Arthur. No, no, you can't know way you're too good for Mr. Garfield I intended to quietly remove to paradise Which is a great improvement on this one. I'll tell you what It uh, I'm I've never really been that pro. I haven't even really thought about my stance on assassination,

but this guy as far as pure PR and spin goes, I'm fucking loving this guy. I actually, yes, you're right. I removed one president, but he got a first class ticket to paradise. Proving that he thought he was a good guy because he didn't sit like give him like a ticket to hell or anything. No, a paradise. He was hoping for the best here.

Yeah. Yeah. This denographer was like spraying the eyes from rolling. It's like, okay. So then you understand I love the man. Just Ray Arthur, hell of a guy too. Such a great guy. I might kill him too.

And listen, there's a chance I want him to go be with Garfield the paradise. I'm like, I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy.

I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy.

I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. I'm not a great guy. Okay. So he says, Mr. Arthur saved the Republic. Any ads, not a soul in the universe new of my purpose to remove the president. If it has failed, I shall never attempt it again.

My motto was purely political and patriotic. And I acted under divine pressure. It was the same kind of pressure that led Abraham Lincoln to sacrifice his son Isaac. Oh no, Abraham, sorry, I put Lincoln in there. There was a saying that led Abraham to sacrifice his son Isaac. Oh no, Abraham, sorry, I put Lincoln in there. There was a sound of the lead Abraham to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Yeah, I don't remember that part about the Lincoln presidency where he's like, oh, for my boy. Yeah. That's why my son will now join God in heaven. Mr. Lincoln. All right, I'm going to stop

reading this now because it's just so was Garfield alive still he's in the two month where we're not sure if he's going to die. That's that's where one of Garfield is dead. It sounds like he's still alive. It does because he said if he dies. Yeah. Right. So it sounds like it's in the two months when we were all on pins and needles waiting to find an a Arthur was like man. Good boy. This is like the American Idol finals. What? Okay.

So this is taken when he's in prison. So it must be before Garfield die because Garfield is shot in July and dies in September. Okay. Jesus Christ. Really hung in. So he's dead, but they must not have known when he was, you know, doing his novel. Yeah. Right. Wow. The biography.

Yeah. All right. Moving on. This is from the Cotusic courier. We learn that on Saturday, a large black bear was seen near Grazville by two men out hunting. One of the men had a double-barreled shotgun loaded with small shot, which he fired at him, taking no effect. The bear leisurely strolled off, leaving the hunters dismayed and out of ammunition. The bear had scared the dog so badly before the hunters came up that they could not be set upon him. That's in the newspaper. That's the headliner, the story. That's the story.

Let's talk about, I mean, I know it's a tough act to follow when the president's been shot by a guy who's just kind of opining endlessly. But you're like, what do we put in place of that? How about when those guys missed the bear? Yeah, remember that invincible bear? Let's write a thing on him. The bear, remember the bear shot the dog. They're trying to shoot it. The bear, they shot the bear, the bear yawned and walked away.

That bear. The bear laughed. The bear, the bear, the bear laughed. Maybe that's pretty good. That story was pretty good, right? How did that end? He laughed. The bear just laughed. That was the whole, nobody. So it's not a story.

No, no, no. The guy that got shot at him, act one, missed him, act two, bear left. Day new mall. No, no, no, the guy that got shot at him act one. Yeah, missed him act to bear left. Day new mall. No, they hit the they hit the bear. The bear just didn't care. Whoa. Now we got a story. They hit. I don't think we have a story. I know. Yeah, I think we do this before the president who's done. Oh, what? Yeah, absolutely. No. Yeah. I was something that made that a story. Yeah, this is you know, like what would the bear hat the bear would have to like turn around and just be like yeah, you know, yeah, yeah, the bear gets him in the bird. Yeah, that's a headline. Bear blows to hunters. That's a movie. Bear teams up with dog kills hunters. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Making up new. So I dug a little deeper and I guess the bear

set their nicks and then took their dog. I think they were all in a bit of a, you know, a manage. They were all the bear. It's a poly situation. It was a lover's trist. Some people think the bear might be the new president as you're fired. I'll leave. But I'm living on my terms, God damn it. On Thursday, Mr. Benjamin Crane told his family he could not live long. He then lay down on the bed and died in a few minutes.

I did this for my family. I can't live long. All right. I'm dead now. What? He was blind and had been for many years. He was 50 years old and lived on the Elijah road near Amacola, Fallis in Dawson County. Amacola, Fallis is a great Fallis. It's the best Fallis. A bargain with thieves. Little Rock Arkansas, Cox, Stevens and Delaney, the Iron Mountain train robbers, pleaded guilty and

hemstead circuit court yesterday, and were sentenced to the penitentiary for term of 70 years each. Seven years. 70, a 70. Okay, that's makes for. I didn't think they gave out terms that long back then. Yeah, that's a while. That's two masters.

Yeah. The robbery occurred on the 22nd of September and the member captured on the 28th, a special term of the court was held to try them. That's it. Jesus. There's no one. The case of the men who robbed a pack,

wait, are these different? Oh, okay, so they're printing a story from literal Carcanson, they're printing the first day story and then the next day story back to back. Okay. The case of the men who robbed the passenger train. I was hoping we get a lot of an editor.

Do you know what you can edit the story? Do you know that you can end a one? I don't think that makes sense. You mean remix? I don't think the case of the men who robbed a passenger train on Iron Mountain Railroad on September 2nd and who were captured on September 28th, one in Texas and two in Indian nation and brought to Washington, assumed a new sensational face in the special term of court on Friday. When each of the robbers pleaded guilty to 14 indictments making the

term of punishment 70 years for each man. You just covered this, but now you're like, oh, but they pleaded guilty. That's the only difference. Yeah, to make it two separate. It's clear there was not enough news back then. Not at all. I mean, talk about fluffing. I mean, they have one huge story about the president. And then like, they're like, anyway, now this is doing weird shit. Oh, God. Can we, can we, can we turn this robbery thing into like seven stories? Do we have, what, now, may I suggest we incorporate a bear into this train robbery story? Right Like the robbery went bad bear suck some dicks gets out. You know what I mean? I'm just sort of

The bear second dick guy. I don't mind. We're in that bear scene sucking dick on train while it's being robbed Hybridized whole thing Hold on that's a page one Headline bear sucking dick thing. Hold on, that's a page one headline. Bear's second dick. Bear organizes train heist. That'd be the story. Bear organizes train on train heist. Oh, Jesus Christ. Bear runs train. Get out of here. The pursuing party that captured two of the robbers, Steven Zinnolansi, consisted of four men in Huddleston, Bell, the news, more in Dallahood. What arrested?

When arrested, the robbers had about 9,000 in their possession. Huddleston proposed to his comrades to divide the money among themselves. Yeah, no shit. So the guys who caught the robbers are now like, this is a lot of money. We should just take this. Oh, oh, okay. Right. So they were going to take the money.

So they're like, cool. Interesting. Belvin is objected saying the money out to be returned to the railroad company, but he finally agreed to it's being equally divided among the four officers. I feel like they didn't get away with it because you're reading an article in the paper about it. Yeah, that probably. Maybe that was a lot back then. It's like, look, you can, you can turn it all in. You can split it three ways. We're not paying your share of the lot anyway. So yeah. Yeah.

paying your share of Salad anyway. So yeah. Yeah. In consideration of Stephen's Delansey keeping the matter secret, each of the four officers took an oath that he would annually pay to the family of the train robbers, $100 and leave no means untried to secure their release from the penitentiary. It's pretty honorable. Well, also like, so they're splitting $9,000. Yeah. So, they're getting, yeah, so they're getting like $2,250 each. And if they're each giving $100 to the family every year, it's gonna run out of money pretty quick. Yeah. So it's a bad plan. I would. Yeah, I think at this point, you

just turn them in. Yeah, they arrest the guys, they go to jail, they steal the money, and then they just have to slowly give it back to the family forever. It's going to plan of the robbers who they could just fuck over. Oh, they're, oh, they want to keep the robbers quiet, I would imagine. Still, I think you're right that this is not like, it still doesn't work. Yeah, pretty soon, you're going to be like, it's not a, now we only have $600. Yeah, and we still have 30 more years of payments ahead of us. Yeah, it's right. I got damn it. It turns out I lost money on this fucking deal. Yeah, like the housing market, I think we might have to rob a train. All right.

So in order to keep up the payments to the guys that robbed the train that we robbed, we got a rob a goddamn train. And if we're caught, hopefully there's some honorable sheriffs. Yeah. Oh, this guy. A wounded bear shows up. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus, not this guy. A wounded bear shows up. Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus, not this guy.

Not this the worst bear. Don't look this. Don't just leave the bear alone. The party reached hope turned over the prisoners to the authorities and came to this city where they received $1,000. The reward offered by the state for the capture. So they took them on and got the and got the thousand dollars. Okay, right. Okay. So there you go. There's your there's 10 years of

just your donut out prisoner funds. All the captors appeared at the trial when Belman has divulged the whole matter to superintendent Buchanan, uh, Huston Moore and Dalihoad were examined separately, each made affidavit that he know nothing of the whereabouts of the money, but subsequently more approached Mr Buchanan and stated that the money could be procured. So they gave it up. So someone yeah, someone cave. We almost all got a jail, right? Like what? Well, then they're, that they're next to the robbers. Like, man, it's this sex. They're next to the robbers like man, it's this sex You that's crazy I feel like we are the worst people in this story like we're the dumbest Yeah guys for sure and Dave we're brought to you by Airbnb

I love staying at Airbnb's my buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb Maybe you stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at airbnb.ca-host. Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif. Yes, this is the same guy. I

listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call-in advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts, and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake.

I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. Limerick's bold mayor is the story from London. The mayor of Limerick commenting on the refusal of the government to grant a sworn inquiry into the recent riots said that he would wait upon every Irish member of parliament

and insist on an inquiry and then he would call a monster meeting to condemn the refusal and added that he dared the government at their peril to proclaim this meeting. So that's a story in London about Ireland and a monster meeting. A monster meeting. I me I mean maybe you know Irish people might care about this here but there's not a ton of Irish people in America at this point What is a monster meeting? Yeah, the use of that phrase. I wouldn't think what have existed back then Monster meeting. Yeah, I think it's I think it's they actually are gonna meet with a monster Dave you're supposed you're not playing your role properly, Dave.

That's my role. No, no. I was just 1911. This is 1800's. There's monsters. So they're going to be the monster. It's true. That's when, you know, what that's went, that's when the Loch Ness monster was in politics

before I remember. Thank you. Thank you. We call this meeting. All right. Hold on. We're not really having some ground him or her water already. All right. Hold on. We're really having some time. Brown, him under water already.

Jesus Christ. All right. It says there is Ireland's wars, the monster meeting, the monster meetings. Are you seriously? Yeah. There's actual monster meetings. Yeah, I think it's a terrible religious. Yeah. Oh's actual monster meetings. Yeah, I think it's a

terrible religious. Yeah. Oh, monster. It's just sketches of like Dracula, Yilla yelling at Frankenstein on a parliament floor. I would, I would remind the gentleman from the Tories Transylvania Want to Frankenstein seems to always forget I Think it's just a big meeting It's a big meeting it sounds like a big like it's a monster like a lot of man like it's a monster so he's crowd Yeah, it's just a bunch of people coming together. I guess, O'Connell, all the lot of monster meetings.

Sure. This is more out of London. As Suez Canal traffic reopened, the Suez Canal traffic, which was interrupted by the grounding of the steaver, Halem Shire is open again. So that happened back then too. Yeah, that's cool. That's cool.

That's just we still have nothing's changed. Yeah, we're still running into the side of the like back then they were like, man, imagine the future. They won't even use canals. And here we are, like, look, that sucks. Here we are again. Nobody can get their Amazon. New York continues to be an unhealthy city. Yep. You live in New York? Get it. I do, yeah. Can you confirm?

On the right. On the right. Yeah, I can confirm. I feel the streets are as dirty as 1881. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Okay.

I don't think anything has changed. Just by that headline, I don't think anything in terms of cleanliness has changed in New York I would argue that there were probably less scaffoldings back then That would be like the key difference is they were like that's true. The city felt more like it was near done Right it was it got clean and then Giuliani came in Giuliani like cut the The rat by you And then Giuliani came in Giuliani like cut the the rat budget. Here we go Nick. He's doing the politics stuff again. Uh, Dave, Nick and I like Giuliani.

So can you just fuck off for a second? Are you talking about America's mayor? America's purse, 2000 and two person of the year. Excuse me. Yeah. Okay. Fair. Yeah.

Uh, New York continues to be an unhealthy city. excuse me. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah. New York continues to be an unhealthy city. The year opened with a heavy mortality. And the death rate has continued high ever since. The mortality for the first nine months of the year is 4,715 higher than the same period of 1880. So they're just getting sick and dying and everyone's like, I don't know what could it be. It could be all the rats and the filth and the the coal you're burning and pigs running around. They still do that and everyone's healthy. Yeah, that was like pre-endor plumbing, right?

1880. Oh, yeah. Yeah, back then, yeah, I was pretty gnarly to live like down in like, yeah, I think like probably walking to a market and back was like 50% chance of death. Yeah. You just stepped in the wrong puddle and it's just like bacteria

and then there's no pandas in it. And it's over. Sink, you're gone. Ralph, Ralph, Ralphie. I was just walking with him, where'd he go? He's gone. He just went that, my God. That's like a Rick and Morty puddle.

You just see a couple of bubbles coming out. It's like, well, he's fine. He's fine. I saw bubbles. He's breathing down there. Yeah. Oh, Larry's down there. Yeah, he's fine.

Yeah, he's fine. Maybe puddle pals. This is not a Lynchburg. There was a grand procession of baby carriages in Lynchburg on Thursday afternoon. What a nightmare. The goddamn 32 young Virginians rode in Royal State through Main Street while the adult population looked on with admiration and delight. So this is a great example of how people had absolutely nothing to fucking do. Nothing to do. Wow. So they're pushing babies down the street and everyone lined up to watch the babies. You know, that's just like when someone posts a baby picture and it gets a bunch of likes and I'm just

like, don't encourage this dumb shit. Don't go like if they're gonna have a baby procession don't go show them that that's stupid But instead they're like oh my god little human Could you imagine now being invite like your friend has a baby and you're like are you coming to the baby parade? It's a baby Pretty excited Come on every three months we take our babies down to me Yeah, we take our babies down to May. Come on. Yeah. And we parade them around town. Oh my God.

The reporters of the local newspapers were on hand and the name of each infant title, the Zib it was published with the description of its dress and ornaments. Oh my God. Oh, man. It's the worst thing. Oh, baby fashion.

Which bird? Lynchburg never gets better from there. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's horrible.'s how many babies you think made it to the end of that parade. By the way, infant mortality was high back then. Seven to eight. And now for Cassandra's outfit, I'm being told she passed away early in the procession. Let's move to Albee. And Sarah is out fit too soon. Okay, interesting.

And now for the in memoriam, 32 started 18 or left. We lost a lot of good babies back there. So hot. A celebration memoriam was that without that was a cold. Yeah, a death reveal. Black smoke. That was a cold. Yeah, a death reveal.

Black smoke. Yeah. Oh, man. Um, in St. Louis. Okay. In St. Louis, the pink eye has got among the cows and it's frightening the dairy men without reason therefore. However, as nine cows out of ten recover from it. Wow. That headline is, yeah, it's really got a lot of grammatical issues. Yeah. So there's the cows are there for the therefore is a man without a home.

Yeah, it's not at all. I don't know what words are, but I like these ones. What about therefore, how about a big day? A big day. Who would put therefore and however, back to back? Therefore, however, it is. It's just like, it's like me if I were in a courtroom. Therefore, however, the defendant hold on.

Objection not me. He just called for side bars. therefore, however, the defendant hold on is objection. Not me. He just call for side bars. Quick. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. So the cows are getting pink eye in the dairy men are worried nine out of 10 recover. So what? So only 10% of the cows are dying. Yeah. So why would they be upset? Yeah, that's actually, it sounds pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.

In the meanwhile, everybody is temporarily giving up milk in their coffee as nobody wants to drink the milk from pink-eyed cows. In the other Western cities, the disease has been confined to horses and mules. So I don't know after thought. Yeah, just horses and mules are So I, I don't know after thought, yeah, just horses and mules are getting it's screw them. Yeah, until they start making this milk, we don't care how much pink I think it. I've been drinking horse milk. Dan, what?

Um, so I would, in my, uh, non-professional opinion, assume that milk is not affected by pink. No, I don't, I don't think that would be a thing. But you know, back then, I would think you'd be scared of everything. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, anytime anything looked off, you're like, I guess we got to shoot it in the head now. I don't. All in favor of shooting it in the head. All right, let's go time to, it's all the other.

You guys, it's a carriage with it. Yeah head. We got a head on the carriage We're gonna head on the carriage. We're running out a head budget, but we this I think we should dip in to put a head on the carriage So we could take it out back and pop it in the back of the head Really got it the assassination of a republican president by a republican on account of factional differences lead senator butler to the conclusion that quote the republican party as now organized and led is unfit to govern this country.

Why they keep killing each other? 1881. Nothing has ever changed, basically, this is, man. This conclusion also like the guy who killed the president of Republican, but also crazy, because he thought he was patriotic and yeah, it's not really good.

I was like, why is May I point you in the direction of the earlier interview crazy? I don't think so. Oh, no, you're right. You make a good point. Contra. Very common. Lays out a very good case. Yeah, he just gave him a ticket to paradise.

Yeah, empathetic of anything. Yeah, he just gave him a ticket to paradise. Yeah, empathetic of anything. Yeah. This conclusion is not reached by Senator Butler Lone or yet by Democrat solely. Most independence and Republican hold the same opinion. So they're saying that everyone thinks Republicans are out of their fucking mind. Right. And here we are, uh, 130 years later, 140 years later, and Mitch McConnell's having public seizures and strokes. And everyone's like, well, the doctor said he's good to go. McConnell actually voted in that story, I think, that you just read. That's actually very true.

McConnell's on record. I really think that the party's going to be fine. I think it's going to be fine. And then someone turns it go, you know, McConnell's got to go. He's old. He's old. He's 45. It's 1881. Yeah, he's in his mid 40s. He's about to die. I mean, seriously, back then, Senator Freynestein was 65. That was when they started basic pop-I honor. Congressman Cox writes to the New York Sun from constant. Get the A boys, let's get the laughs out now and then Dave will move on. All right.

Congressman Cox writes to the New York son from Constantinople. Every year that this is him writing every year, the Turkish Empire is winnowed for the Hatsomist young lady to adorn the Sultan's palace as a new wife. What a What an open winner of winner of servitude. This is great news. The country is scoured for someone to fuck the king. Like what the fuck? The king has another slick sex slave. Good news everybody.

I'm not Congratulations everyone else dodged a bullet and then Dada Dada for now Happy New Year And wait that who wrote that who there's a senator there a congressman congressman congressman Oh, you know the congressman. This is awesome This is awesome to look are we sure about this democracy thing? Because these guys. I'm gonna. I'm gonna.

You know, I love democracy as much as the next guy, but you can't pluck a lady out of obscurity and make her bang you. Now, I'm just saying, when there's downsides, the founding fathers were great, but they come on. Not a whole. So if you're not enough, if you're. Yeah. Not a whole. So every year, or not enough. If every year, the sultan is getting a new wife. Oh, because every year, it's a new wife.

That's just, I mean, an imagine, it's just horrible. Yeah, and they're, I mean, yeah, they're ruling for life. So it's like, if you're 30 years in, do you have 30 wives? Yes. You know what, though, I would argue that if you're one of those wives, this is a better policy for you because like I can kind of, I can kind of walldo into the numbers a little bit here. Yeah, 30 of the responsibility.

Yeah, like if there's 40 wives, it's not like he's like, roll call, you know, you just kind of like duck behind like some fruit and be like, oh, Jesus. Right. Yeah. How do you duck by fruit? Oh, but I know the huge bowls of it. Dave, you're talking about a grape culture.

I mean, these people were all grapes and I love the leaves and oranges. All the things you think someone's going to hide behind. It's fruit. You know, when he said that, I was imagining like a sultans chamber. And there's a, a long wooden table massive bowl of fruit Yeah, huge turkey with a little white thing on the legs Big all every day Nick this is exact you've got to understand my brain is like 30% marks brothers movies and that is

exact set up I'm picture like I'm picturing like one of them's like the bling, the grapes are blinking and she's like. In reality, it's just a childhood on the head. Yeah, in reality, yeah. And reality is just a giant barrel of pig grease that he uses for a loob. Right. She's just nice.

I know. Stop. Stop recording and or talking. Right. It's just nice. I know. Terrible. Stop recording and or talking. Nobody wants to hear about pig Loub. Like newest wife jumps in first. That's the, uh, that's the treat you get. Yeah. Oh, okay. So the star is going to get worse. The mother of the sultan selects from the bevy of beauties gathered from the silken summer summer summer some a canned to to cedar lebanon. Okay, so it's just a distance they're talking about, but so the mom is picking the next it's like

the a pageant you don't want to win. Yeah, yeah, you know, like women are pushing their stomachs out like making their teeth look funky, like they smell. Yeah, yeah. Their hair's kind of nanny. Or maybe they do want it because they're being taken out of poverty and they get to win in the palace. Yeah. God, Jesus. It was sucks for the king by the way. It's like he got all the way to king and he still can't pick his own wife. Yeah, his mom still takes it. You know, he's like, but mom, I'm the sultan, I want to pick my wife. You'll be quiet. I'll pick her out for you.

All these women, I find every Sultan is a great sultan's mother. So shut up. And again, I'll be watching the bang. Mom, thrust, thrust, hit boy, hit. Come on, it's it's, it's the guy that man ever raised, yeah. Hit point. Hit. Come on, it hits. Is it the kind of man I've raised?

Yeah. Push it. One of the singular laws of royal marriages here is that the wife becomes the slave when married to his majesty. Ah, so not a great guy. I think the poverty part is kind of removed now a little bit. Yeah, because now you're just a slave in a bigger house that you have to clean.

That's not funny. Yeah, I mean, yeah. And I guarantee you, yeah, there's like, he's eating juicy meat. So he's like, no, you should know pick my wife for the evening. And they're like, yeah, chewing into a giant leg of ham. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Why? Because the crown prince or future sultan must be born, slave himself and thus less in rank than the free people of the Raleigh meek governs. This is odd, but it is oriental. Oh my god. Oriental. It's not oriental. Did this guy just confuse Turkey with the Orient? What the fuck just happened? Is it saying like it came from the Orient? Or it may be. I mean, this guy, we have a world traveler who's out there like, I don't know where I am. I'm gonna make shit up. Unless they hold all of that area of the Orient back then. They may have everything to American. But it's Turkey.

The Orient. Yeah. You know how it is in Turkey, Japan? Anyway. I don't know what it is in Turkey, Japan. Anyway, I Where am I? I want to meet you guys. I love it in Turkey China It's hot here in Greece, Iraq I've been in Istanbul, Thailand Vietnam Australia. He's got a fire. There's guys.

This guy's really bad. He's really bad. I made Canada the Pacific Ocean. He's doing the lost city of Atlanta's Delaware. Reported. the law city of Atlanta's Delaware reported that the lynching of a murderer at Bloomington, Illinois by a mob which can bri- comprised many of the usually law abiding citizens was Jesus not it was not a natural result of popular dissatisfaction with the administration of law in another murder case.

Okay, really bad sentence. I could use a variable and however it's so bad. Some great people lynched someone and it was not because of what he's calling natural, the natural process of being upset by a court decision. That's why that would be the natural way it usually goes, is when you're mad, a court decision that you lynch. Right. Total failures or long-protected delays of justice

have grown so common throughout the country that there is a steady increase in the number of cases taken before the court of judge Lynch. Judge Lynch. Judge Lynch. The twist. Yes. That's not a real judge.

They're saying it's not a twist. Go ahead. Not a twist. Four or five repetitions of the trial of a clear case are not very uncommon, each based upon some very fine drawn legal technicality and often solely intended to delay final action. So they say they're using legal mamba jumbo to keep you by the jail and keep, you know, being retried. Right.

Justice to be effective in the prevention of crime must be prompt as well as certain the remedy for the lynching epidemic rests with the judiciary and the legislature but mainly with the former. So he's saying you got a better laws for less lynchings. And I'm glad you're here for this one. Yeah, he's saying, basically that's what he's saying. He's saying the laws are fucked up and they're they're allowing these guys to skate by and not be convicted for four or five trials and that's too long and right. We got a ship ship shape it up. So say when you're going to win.

Lynch them faster. Yeah, but he's saying get to the get to the the court. Get to it. Right, right, right. I love that they call it a lynching epidemic, as if it's some like natural, the bacterial illness that's gotten out of control. It's like, it's airborne or deciding. It's airborne. Look at everybody. Don't get lynched.

Yeah, don't go outside at night. I mean, you just not tonight. Anybody, anybody's can just get lynched. It's like an M night channel on breeze. Yeah. The lynching wind. I also like an M night shaman on breeze. Yeah. No, the lynching wind. I also like they just think we wrote the part. They just leave out the part about the mostly black people getting lynched. That just got to get there. Well, they're also like the crowd justified in their reaction.

Right. Made up of great men. Great white people. Yeah, great men. Right. The whites didn't want to do it. Great white people. Yeah. The whites didn't want to do it. They had to. We had to do it for the safety of our town or whatever. Plymouth Rock landed on us.

I don't know if you know what. I don't think that's it. Come on. I got a catchphrase. And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb. I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb.

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Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host. Mr. Bishop of Wisconsin believes that the sun is a fountain of light only and that the heat is produced by the concentration of the rays of light shining on the convex surface of the atmospheric belt. Whereby producing by its convexity a concentration of light which becomes more intense as it approaches the earth's service and penetrates its denser atmosphere. This guy must have been so lonely back then because they were like, do you want? I'm sorry, do you need to take a shit or not? And he was like, well, you see, it's the concave nature of the illumination. If you look at the sun's corona, man, shut up. You like cheese?

Well, I do like cheese, but what I'm saying is if you catch the sun properly and it's doubt, if you notice the concave nature at which the we made a man billi made a wheel, a big wheel of cheese is five feet across. So it's all year. No, no, no, no, no, no, but the, it's not a bad segue actually. The sun sort of looks like a big wheel of cheese. And cheese.

And cheese. No, it's not cheese. No, no, no, I want to nip that in the butt right now. Nobody starts saying that the sun's cheese because the sun is most. It is orange. So it is cheese, orange cheese. It is not cheese.

No, no, no, guys, stop saying. All right, do we get that in tomorrow's paper? Do not put that in the paper. Do not put. Cheat orange. Cheat. No, no, no, guys, stop. We get that in tomorrow's paper. Do not put that in the paper. Do not put that in the paper. Yes. Class you question. I don't know. You can. It's not. It's not going to be helpful. Do not ask the question. If it's not cheese, how's it orange?

It's a lot of stuff. It's a bad question from a bad person. A lot of stuff that's orange is not cheese. I mean, we could go on and on. There's tons of stuff that's orange is not cheese. I mean, we can go on and on. There's tons of stuff that's orange, it's not cheese. Right. Cheese in my pocket. So you're saying it's a mixture of cheese and some citrus-based. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,. And I don't get until further discovery, we'll just say it's a dairy based floating spear in the sky. It's a dairy spear.

Okay. I don't know. First of all, you over there, you're definitely slower than your friend here. So I say you fully stop talking. Okay, you're the guy with cheese in your pockets, which you thought that was relevant. Oh my God, there's cheese in my pocket. I'm thankful that was relevant. Oh my God, this cheese in my pocket.

I'm thank you for reminding me. Thank you very much. Oh, so no, because I'm a big guy. That's how it hurts. Oh, sweet God, the time that that. So is the guy that wrote that, was that even a scientist, or was it just a guy in Wisconsin?

I mean, he says Mr. Bishop, it's got to be a scientist of something nobody would say this. He's not a scientist. I said similar stuff on mushrooms. So I feel like this guy might not be a scientist. Because there are no credentials. It was just like Mr. Bishop. Mr. Bishop, a drug man on a porch with wood in his arms.

Serrated by cheese people. Yeah. So yeah, I don't know if he's right or wrong, but he's wrong. Okay. I mean, the sun doesn't, it doesn't get warm because it goes through the atmosphere. Whatever. Mr. Edison's new machine. Wow. because it goes through the atmosphere, whatever. Mr. Edison's new machine. Ah, whoo. Mr. Edison is just completed a very powerful dynamo machine which was tested Monday night with satisfactory results.

It is a hundred and eighty. It sounds like an awesome powers device. Yeah, the dynamo machine. It is a 180 horsepower and consumes 460 pounds of coal in an hour. Jesus Christ 60 you Thank you to Edison wow

460 pounds What the fuck just happened What is it do It kills everyone around it It's called the planet destroyer. Yeah. Yeah. It costs, it's an average cost of 250 a ton, making the cost of running it about 50 cents an hour for 1200 lamps. Four hundred sixty pounds of coal for 12 hundred lamps. Worth it. Well, the maximum of aluminum capacity is equal to 537,000 candles.

Love being in the time of like, this is how many candles were saved. We're all sick of candles. But I mean, back then, I mean, this, that is basically like the general crux of our society now. If you had candles, you were like, this is fucking sucks. And it didn't matter how much coal you burned if you're like, my house has lights. Yeah. Right. So is that what the machine did?

It powered it powered? Yeah. It's powering is creating light energy for lights. I don't think there's much else That's you had to be a millionaire to have lights back. Oh, yeah, no, it was yeah very rich people That was it that's they would just go to rich people and hook them up with lighting. Wow The large machine previously built by mr. Edison was an eight hour power machine of 60 lights With two magnets weighing 360 pounds each an eight hour power machine of 60 lights with two magnets weighing 360 pounds each. The eight hour power machine. That sounds like like an infomercial for a device.

So shark tank. Where like you'd be like the eight hour power machine in barber be like I love the name. So Mr. Edison tends to build 24 machines of 250 horsepower each 12 of which will be placed in the Pearl Street station to light a district where 1500 houses have been wired which will be lighted by 15,000 lamps. Oh Jesus Christ. And that's Beverly Hills was born. Yes, Beverly Hills. I mean, it sounds so much more convenience. Just picturing your life of candles like, well,

the sun's down. So activities pretty much see. It's just bathroom or water. That's it. That's it. The next 13 hours. And the amount of thing, the amount of cold those things were burning. It's like, you're in this neighborhood that now has light. Yeah, but you can't see because it's just like black smoke everywhere and everyone's just like yeah, yeah, I'm reading like later to the like, can you imagine having candles and just blah, look at the back there living in the dark ages. I'm going to die now. Yeah. Those poor people and they're just like, yeah, yeah, they're eyes. Yeah, I can't see.

Yeah. The Panama Canal, not yet begun. Okay. headline. The progress being made in the inter oceanceanic canal is not very great. Preparations have been abundant, but not much work is done. The construction proper of the canal has not yet even commenced, including those engaged in preparatory services, drafting, furnishing provisions, etc.

The number of persons in the employ of the Panama company does not exceed a thousand of that number 70 have already died I've never heard about the building of it like it's just malaria. It's just a fucking nightmare like all these guys just died So 70 about. Yeah. Worth it. 70. Yeah, worth it.

Totally worth it. 70 have already died and many more are sick and the directors have begun to build a regular system of hospitals, foreign all distributed along the length of the canal and a fifth central hospital to be constructed a Panama so they haven't started building but they're like we got to get hospitals up and running. Well we've had to do some of our river or some of our canal money towards hospitals. We need a lot of us. It turns out we're just making a row of hospitals and not a canal. It's really more of a malaria river. The cost of excavation is found to exceed all estimates. The work done at the sites

of the two villages being laid out for work when costing 125 per cubic yard, it must be 125 per cubic yard instead of three cents. Oh no, it's got to be a buck 25. A dollar 25 per cubic yard instead of three cents as was expected. The French stockholders have recently been calling on for another assessment and having very little to show for previous expenditures, well, perhaps soon realize the impractical nature of the enterprise to which they have pledged their money. So they're like, so they've quickly pivoted away from all the people dying to like, this is cost too much. Let's get to the real problem here. Yeah. We're like, this is too expensive, but we are the most hospital dense region on the market. Look, if you think about this, it was a hospital building in Devar, we've actually succeeded greatly.

You're a threat of medical tourism, yeah. That's right. It is barely possible that the accounts which reach us from the Isthmus are slightly colored by the desire of parties in this country to disparage. Mesur Delecepts Canal scheme. If matters, they are so very discouraging. It seems that the French shareholders would have found it out long since and stopped their assessments. But I didn't think, I think in the end, the French don't build it, right? I don't know what you guys know.

Yeah, the French actually, it ended up being the, sorry, I'm having some microphone issues, otherwise I'd tell you who did it, but. Oh, I think the front, yeah, the US came in and built it. Yeah. Goddamn right. Put up your ass canal. Yeah, take that, the French. Yeah, enjoy it. Once again, we came into bail. You out of some bullshit, friends. Oh, the guy we got rid got rid of Canal Hitler go ahead Dave. The guy they named is the one who was behind the Suez Canal. Oh, that was the same guy. Yeah, who he was a one hit wonder obviously.

You guys went about another canal. Yeah, I can only go one canal. Yeah. He killed yeah, what a fucking loser. I had another canal. Yeah, I can only go one canal. Yeah. He killed, yeah, what a fucking loser. I had another idea. Oh, yeah, what do you got? What about a canal? Jesus Christ is like, oh my God.

What? Come on. Here we go. Is there any bridges? Is there anything you can do? No, I want a canal. Hear me out. It's from England to New York.

Is a canal is a bridge, a water bridge. Oh, sunglasses, QCSI music. Shooting out of mark Saturday night about half past nine o'clock, an individual who is considerably enthused, meandered into the slune below the theater. And after taking a drink, throughout a pistol, it commenced firing at a mark. You imagine when a shooting in public was like getting headlines. This is I don't I think a mark, it's not a person, he's just shooting at something, right? Yeah.

Unless it's actually got a mark and they just say a mark for marks. It was the most popular name back then. So they just brought it off. It's like just a mark. There's so many. Another public mark shooting. Yeah. 17 year name mark building the Panama Canal.

We lost another five marks today. The attention of a policeman vendor was directed to the scene and he at once proceeded to the Sloan where he discovered an individual amusing himself firing at a mark which was placed against the wall. The shooters was arrested and taken to the barracks. Okay, wow. So it was just a mark. That would be a mark on the wall. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I'm not going to say that. I it was just a random shit. So it was just a mark That would be like a mark on the wall. Yeah

Yeah, that's pretty cool a market sense of it was placed on the wall. It sounds like a target or something A little target meant to be shot and though like hey, these aren't shooting hours Those are between 12 and two we were very clear. Yeah, it is 315. We're too busy for this. Uh, a member of the New Hampshire legislature announced a bill that was under discussion as, as quote, treacherous as was the stabbing of Caesar by Judas in the Roman capital. That's the whole story. stabbing of Caesar by Judas in the Roman capital. That's the whole story. So wild. That's the whole story. Like if you say that about a bill, then you have to tell us what the fuck you can't just like what is that? It's a tweet. That was the first tweet. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But then you got to follow up with another tweet. You can't say it's just

treacherous as a stabbing of Caesar and then not tell us what it is. Yeah, no it's like you're talking about. It's about cows. That had a lot of welcome. That's the story. Yeah. That's really crazy. That's insane.

You got it. Governmenting, man. Relax. Yeah. Oh, man. Governor Hamilton of Maryland has a 17 year old daughter worth 25,000 in her own right. She clandestinely married a poor young man of 20 years on the topmost peak of the Maryland Blue Ridge.

Wow. So Rich Lady married a poor guy. Yeah, I like that though. Well, so we have to kill them obviously. Hey, what? Put a mark on him. Yeah, we can't have rich people marrying poor people. I like it.

The whole thing is thrown out of whack. It's nice that it's a rich woman marrying a poor man. Yeah. You don't hear that enough. No, it's been that so uncommon for that to be like a news story. Yeah, yeah, it has to be. I mean, they were like, we found a rich woman marrying a poor. Yeah.

What? And like the story last week was just, we found a rich woman. Yeah, rich woman, the most rich. The most rich. There seem to be more of these each year. Yeah. Terrifying. Horrible. The young woman is under lock and key and the youthful husband is not allowed to see her. That's perfect. She made a poor. that's how a rich person the whole story the whole story she made a poor so I have to be kept apart Well they can't touch her she might contract portals. Yeah be careful

Wow The poverty epidemic the poverty epidemic. Yeah, that is amazing. Can I see my wife? No, you do poor. Anyway, you can once you get a job. If you make some money, you can buy her. How's that sound?

You can buy into your marriage. Here's an ad. Burnett's cocaine promotes the growth of hair. Okay. Bernette's cocaine promotes the growth of hair. And here's what's so fucking great. I mean, the fact that cocaine was just like publicly advertised, obviously great, but that the effects of cocaine were not enough. I mean, like, like, not just not fun. That should be the whole ad.

Just like doing blow. Then instead they were like, you need hair too. Just getting bald guys to do blow. and my husband's growing so much hair. I think he's a co-cad Do you think like cocaine was responsible for all the? Ideas going forward that they said cocaine could solve oh Man like It's basically like it's gonna be a lamp and it's gonna be like, it'll power like 1500 homes I mean, it's gonna burn a lot of coal. I'm just gonna put a lot of coal, but like

I'll say this other idea, alright, alright, it's a man, but he's a horse, you know what I'm saying? Oh man Thomas what Hey, you think we mix this with water. It'll regrow our what do you think dude the fucking sun is just like fucking cheese dude like the whole fucking thing is just like a big phone while cheese bruh haha uh... so this is the ad it renders hair dark and glossy it holds in a liquid form a large proportion of the de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de awesome. No, liquid liquid with coconut. So it's coconut.

And then they put it in coconut. They put it in. They put cocaine and coconut oil because they're like, it's not they sound similar. They sound like coconut and cocaine. No other compound possesses the peculiar properties which so exactly suit the various conditions of the human hair. So you're like, my God, my hair feels great. Also, my hands are numb. My hair won't stop talking. My hair just tried to fuck my girlfriend. Yeah. And if you drink some of it,

you can monitor your own hair growth for three straight days without sleep. Your hair's just smoking a cigarette being like, dude, we should gamble on some of these horses. Hair, stop it. All right, last one. All right. Five murders are chronicled in the Louisville Courier Journal on Tuesday morning. They were committed within three days and almost within the city, It seems says the paper that almost Sorry, it seems as the paper almost time to try hanging as an experiment for prevention. Oh, whoa

The hanging of a murder as an experiment even if it fails does not involve the ways to be raw material What who's the guy who's like, what? What happened about the robe? Yeah, we're going to buy our own. I could have bought our metalists. And that sounds like form two. Yeah, it's a lot. It's a lot.

We got to hire people to build all of it. It's just tremendous. It's wasteful. I love that idea and then 1881, someone's like, what about hanging? Have we tried that? people to build all of it. It's just tremendous. It's wasteful. I love that idea and then 1881, someone's like, what about hanging? Have we tried that? Yeah. While they're lynching, they're like, what about hanging?

This guy is fucking on to something. What are you putting coke in your head? You got a bunch of ideas popping out. Oh, yeah, I heard comes Mr. Progressive with his new ideas. Yeah. No, that would absolutely be the like like the right is just like we should ledge people and be like, um, how about some respect? We're hanging them. Yeah. We don't use that word anymore. There are new methods. This isn't 1841. We're hanging them. Good Lord.

Well, Nick, thank you so much for joining us on the past times. You were fucking awesome. Yeah, thank you guys. This is really fun. Oh, dude, come back, please. Uh, your podcast according to Nick Yusef and then your special YouTube take care. Uh, we encourage people to go check it out. And, um, yes, yes. Thank you so much again, man. Really appreciate it. Thank you, guys. I'm sorry. I can't wave by to you. I out and yes, yes. Thank you so much again man really appreciate it. Thank you guys I'm sorry. I can't wave by to you. I just disappeared off the screen. I Know I thought I was like I'm gonna make it to the end of the episode without another problem and then just

I'm afraid that Nick Yeah, your computer's like Nick. I'm trying to tell you something I'm in it. You know, I'm gonna pour some cocaine on my computer and maybe it'll just fix itself There you go. You're a doctor. You're a legal doctor Good day everyone committee and Jim Jeffries here you may know me from a lot of things But if you don't know me as a podcast host, then shame on you. Ah, just kidding. My show is actually all about not knowing stuff it's called fittingly enough.

I don't know about that, and it's available wherever you get podcasts. I'm joined each episode of Jack Hackett as my fellow co-host, Kelly Blackhunt and Forest Shores. Quizzes about topics we're probably clueless about. We get to spout off about what we know about the topic sometimes, a lot sometimes a little. Before Kelly, Forest and an expert will come and set us straight and enlighten us all. From squids to Scientology to serial killers and beyond, we hit it all here on I don't know about that because let's be honest, there's a

lot of things that I don't know about. Check out our Miss Adventures every week and I don't know about that and all things comedy podcasts available wherever you get all your podcast platforms. I don't know about that where ignorance isn't just bliss, it's content.