The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 454 - Albert Parsons

Episode Date: November 3, 2020

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine anarchist Albert Parsons.SourcesTour datesRedbubble Merch

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. You're listening to the Dullip on the All Things Comedy Network. This is a

bi-weekly American History podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my Amiga. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Through an agenda bender. Yeah Amiga that's fine though. Yeah yeah you're uh I'm comfortable. You're comfortable with it but also I would say you're you're you're manly in a manly way but also soft and I think that's fair I really I don't want to say not vol yeah vulnerable but there's a there's a there's a like a weakness you wouldn't find in like a Clint Eastwood like a classic stereotypical man of the 70s I think yeah well your heroes Dave your

heroes are people mm-hmm girl I'm gonna just totally let your face take up the whole screen of my computer now got a good idea yeah not bad for 65 that's the problem not being in the studio I don't get to kiss you before we start the podcast anymore well to be fair that wasn't a thing that happened okay go ahead at June 20th 1848 Albert Parsons was born in Montgomery Alabama he was one of ten children his mom died when he was two Jesus Christ imagine having ten kids and then just kicking I Dave I can imagine just being like my work here's done his dad then died and then when she died another one was like there's

another one inside of your mother his dad died when he was five so he ten kids no parents yeah but some of the kids this fall on ABC ten kids and no parents they're orphans they're adorable they have no parents everyone kicked the bucket now what can they do to reclaim their childhood oh Billy is quirky that's right we've got kids in this order there's Billy Jacob Leslie Philip Sarah Donnie Michelle Randy with an eye that's a girl baby Joey and baby Joey without the Y they're twins this fall on ABC ten kids and no parents and the spin all by a million little things and the spinoff parents in heaven that's

right after that will show our their parents in heaven watching over them each episode of their parents in heaven is a response to the ABC show ten kids no parents so join us Thursday nights for ten kids no parents followed by parents in heaven now again these shows are technically connected but there will never be a crossover ABC this fall we're getting weird one of the I it's a couple of the brothers were a lot older so his older brother William Henry Parsons became Alan Albert's guardian and William at this point was a newspaper editor so okay when he was seven they moved to Texas they lived in a very

remote valley the nearest neighbors five to ten miles away and then it's like a roguet that he became an indentured apprentice to the Galveston Daily News an indentured apprentice yeah so so he lived and I mean it's it's indentured is such a jocely term it's right yes indentured is such a fancy way of being like slave I mean I don't I think you could leave like I don't think it was a legal thing that you had to serve out it's not like when you know kids got shipped over from England and actually had to work you could bail but the deal was you got food and board and learned a craft so it was considered right okay it's

not though okay so he joins the Lone Star Grey's military company when he's 13 but he's still he's this is his side action he's still working apprenticing at the Galveston Daily so at 13 he basically has a full-time job and has joined the military that's right he sees a bit of action with them though his guardian at the Daily News would not allow him to join the Confederacy when the Civil War started okay well I mean is that strange for oh well there's a really good reason for it and because this guardian didn't think much of the Civil War quote it's all bluster anyway it will be ended in the next 60 days

and I'll hold in my hat all the blood that shed in this war that that's how you determine look back in the day back in the door in the day you measured the brutality of war by how much blood you could hold in your hat which was a comment we don't we don't care about how many men we lost how many hats are full of blood 30 sir my god so this guy was like this guy was like hey take it for me kid this Civil War it's a flash in the pan this ain't nothing nobody's gonna die it ain't even gonna happen you ain't fighting it because it ain't real now stay here eat your free waffles and do what I tell you so Albert hears this and

says fuck this and he leaves for the war anyway he's like I'm fighting in the war well by the way if someone were to be like this war is not gonna happen I'd be like well then I'm brave enough to fight this one so yeah that's right yeah now he goes to our till artillery company that is commanded by another brother of his hey he ends up fighting for 18 months and then he comes back and settles in Waco Texas in 1865 and he's not 20 years old did he ever stop by that apprentice guy again sort of like hey dickface how you doing a lot of hats are full of blood it's on all the hats everybody's hats full of blood so

when he gets back he has a mule and he trades the mule quote for 40 acres of corn in the field standing ready to harvest to a refugee who desired to flee the country okay wait he trades a mule for 40 acres of corn and what's the refugee connection well the court it's a shit deal because the corn is ready to be harvested the guys just basically bailing on money he just wants a mule to ride and the deal's bullshit for who the deal's bullshit corn right yeah yeah okay oh I see I see okay yeah yeah cuz if you're like to me I'm like yeah I'll take that deal yeah and so I'm clearly the guy something's

not good with the right something's not good hey buddy hey what are you going with your nice mule that's a beautiful mule right there hey what oh how what do you say I'll give you 40 acres of ready-to-go corn for that mule huh look at that that could all be yours just let me get on the back of that ass huh so he uses the money from the harvest to pay tuition at Waco University and after one semester he gets a job will type setter and then a deputy clerk okay so at this point Albert is having some thoughts about about the treatment of black people and he renounces his Confederate past okay okay that's good yeah quote I

became a Republican and of course had to go into politics I incurred thereby the hate of many of my former army comrades neighbors and the Ku Klux Klan you know what I can just never get used to is the sort of the swapping of philosophies of parties because when you tell me I'm leaving the Confederate army I'm like yeah I'm gonna be a Republican I'm like wait wait wait wait I mean at this point Republicans are essentially Democrats so it's very right it's hard for people to understand but they did kind of switch places all based on the southern stuff but whatever and by the way they've continued this subtle

switching it's never great so no besides a few whites and a lot of freedmen there were a lot of Germans who are also Republicans okay and so Albert becomes very familiar with their culture and their political culture and their community okay there's a ton of violence in the area in 1867 and 1868 from angry white people they kill blacks they kill Republican whites a white in Waco would later call Albert quote a violent agitator affiliating with the worst class of Negroes ever ready to stir them up to strife the I mean again it's like it's so it's low hanging fruit but the idea that you're like man you keep

stirring up these these African Americans because you just tell them they have rights that they should be people doing live in their lives you just get these filthy thoughts in their heads that they should be accepted and that is a poisonous attitude God sometimes I feel like peeling you to see the real color beneath it's red well that's so it's just blood if you peel me so you're admitting that you are a non-white under your skin well none of us are white under our skin if you peel oh I'm white I would just read it and just dead honestly just bleeding out massive muscle man I wish I had someone taken

notes right now because you were just giving away the farm listen to you all right so you admit it beneath your whiteness you are not white we all are like you're either you know I'm gonna let you do your confession but I'm not gonna let you sit here and tell me that underneath my skin there's anything but whiteness well I am full white let's get down there let's peel teeth to toe let's Let's peel your face first and see what's going on. Why would we start with the face? Let's peel a baby toe.

That's just scientifically the place you're supposed to begin. You're supposed to peel off your face. Have you seen Hellraiser? All right, all right. You want to take a little bit of my face off to see what's beneath that that's fine with me? Yeah, yeah. Here you go.

Take a look at that, Jack. That's pretty red. Wow, fuck. Yeah, that's pretty red. Oh my God. Oh my God, your eyes really pop out. I'm living a lie. I'm red.

Sweet mother of God. I've betrayed my wife. If you'll excuse me, I have to go take the rest of my face off and look in the mirror. I got a lot of explaining to do. That's right. You've got your blood. Take a towel.

That's. Oh, God. It's white. And I'm making it another color. I continue to sin on behalf of my perfect race. I need to go tell my wife she's fucking a red. Oh my God. Are my children infected with this too?

Yeah, everybody is. Yeah, it's a big lie. Oh my God. This is not a life worth living. That's right. White beneath the red. White. Look.

If I dig deep enough, there's another. There's white. Oh, sweet God. You should dig all the way down there and get all that red off. The red is coming off. Finally. Finally.

I'm a perfect whitey. Look at your white man. Look at your white man. So Albert got a job as a traveling reporter. OK. And he also used his travels to be an activist. OK. And also, he was an insurance salesman on the side.

Jesus Christ. OK. I'm a reporting insurance salesman slash activist. How are you? And then he met a young lady named Lucia Carter. She had been born into slavery in West Virginia, but was now free because of the Civil War. Her mother was a slave, and her father probably

the white owner. OK. She seemed to be passing as something else. Albert said she was a, quote, charming, young, Spanish, Indian maiden. OK, so she basically is, I mean, right. So she's saying she's Spanish. She's trying to, but a lot of people aren't buying.

And it's one of those. Right. Yeah. So at this point, when they met, she was pregnant. Or I just had a baby. One of the other, the timing of the baby is not, we're not really sure. Now, she was with a guy, a much older guy named Oliver Benton.

The baby was named Champ. Nice, by the way. That has quick, if I ever have one. Yeah. That's where I'm headed. No, it's really good. It's just Champ. By summer 1870, she was no longer living with Oliver.

And tensions are rising between the Democrats and Republicans. Albert's life becomes in danger because of all of the activist work he's doing. OK. He's just going out and speaking and doing all this stuff. So. How dare he?

Yeah. He still marries Lucia on September 28, 1872. She's 21. He's 27. OK. They only had a very small window to marry because there was a Supreme Court ruling that allowed blacks and whites to marry,

but then Democrats would soon outlaw just weeks later. God damn. I mean, it is so. It's like when gay people got to marry in California for that brief little window. It's the same thing. So Albert took a newspaper job in Austin, and he joined an editors association,

kind of like a union. OK. The local railroad, to curry favor with all the papers, gave the members an all-expense trip around the Midwest, right? So they're. Can you imagine the time when an all-expenses-paid trip around the Midwest was like a Bohemian vacation?

That's right. Well, and since you've gotten within $100 of your showcase, you also get the magical tour around the Midwest. Oh, my God, we're going to Lawrence. We're going to Lawrence. You're going to see the beautiful, beautiful malls of Kansas. You're also going to take a tour around Mequon, Wisconsin

in the beautiful, beautiful temp. We're sending you there in December, where it's nice and freezing. You're also going to see Mackinaw Island, which should be frozen at that point. So it should be pretty easy to get to. We're taking you to the Uper. I'm going to pass out, if you say. Where you're starting at the upper peninsula, the Uper.

And if you're able to get through that, you're goddamn right. We're going to take you right down to Duluth. You'll see the place of 10,000 lakes, but that's not the end of it. You're also going to Lincoln, Nebraska. Oh, beautiful Lincoln. You're going to see so much wood, so much lumber.

It's going to be unbelievable. That's right, a beautiful, all-expenses-paid tour of the Midwest. Price around $800. It's a weird number. It's a weird time. Things are cheaper there, plus you'll get hotel accommodations.

And boy, what a sweet trip it's going to be. I hope you like cheese curds, and I hope you like jerky. And diarrhea. I do. I love all those things. While they're in Chicago on their little tour, an investment house folds in New York City, which led to the economy collapsing.

Now, everything folds, cotton fails in Texas. Everything's just shit. It's the worst depression. I think 1873 is the worst depression yet in American history. Hey, hold our beer, assholes. So Albert and Lucia decide to move to Chicago. And on the way there, Lucia changed her name to Lucy.

So from now on, she's Lucy. There's no record of baby champ, because he had obviously died, but we have no idea how. I would say, if I was to technically describe what happened, I would say he unchamped. Need to champed. Yeah. In Chicago, Lucy did selling for work,

and Albert worked for newspapers. They lived in a German immigrant neighborhood. That's who he was comfortable with, because of Texas. Radical politics, leftist politics, a very big thing. This guy named Karl Marx had just published some stuff. I love the movies he made with his brothers. He just does it very funny. There's a lot of discussion about capitalism

and the two-party system not working. Uh-huh. And again, Dave, this is 1870 something? Yeah, 1870. And it's what I like to call baby steps. We'll get there. It's the next election is the one for radical change. That's right.

Almost 25% in Chicago had lost their job because of the depression. Starvation and disease then came. Now, socialists wanted the city to provide jobs, relief, and shelter. They demanded work or bread at mass meetings. And the city only acted, quote, in the interest of a few capitalists, landholders,

and professional politicians. Jesus Christ, I'm not going to. 10,000 workers walked in silence to a city 10,000 workers walked in silence to a city council meeting one day where their demands were denied. The alderman told them to go instead to the Relief and Aid Society charity.

But the charity was not big on giving out money. Most charities aren't. Because they thought that it shouldn't be given to the lazy. So author Jacqueline Jones, and most of the quotes will be from her, unless I say otherwise, author Jacqueline Jones, quote, indeed, in their view, people so lacking in self-respect as to apply for aid automatically rented themselves unworthy of it.

So the charity was disgusted by people who applied. So why don't you tell us what brings you to the charity today? Well, I lost my job. We're about to lose our home. Terrible, oh my god. And I've been working in the meatpacking plant for about 15 years, pretty steadily. And I never miss a day.

And I work 14-hour days. And then here you are now with little to show for it. And you need someone to help you. Yeah, well, yeah. And there is no shame in requesting that. Times are hard. Unfortunately, it's a pass from us. You don't meet a lot of the requirements.

Yeah, yeah, I get it, yeah. One of the main things we look for in our charitable contributions is to give that money to the unneedy. And it seems like you have needs. And I am reading this correctly. You need money. We're about to end up on the streets. And it's really.

Yeah, and god damn, I wish. Yeah, what we really work in, we give money to those who have money to help them continue to have money and not ever get in your position. I don't think there's a charity that'll help you. You've lost too much. All right, crack open this beer. That's 50 cents.

So that's not free. Yeah, gosh, it sucks. Well, good luck to you, stranger. Thank you. If you ever get a lot of money and need some, come to us. Yeah, yeah, no, it sounds like a plan. We're going to. That's our model for your money.

Thank you. Albert thought the Chicago elites and the ex-slave owners in Texas were very similar. Both viewed workers as a danger to order. And Albert soon became much more radicalized than he had been in Texas. Quote, I found the complaints against the society were just and proper.

Now, Lucy starts her own sewing business. Albert works, and he's using savings from Texas. So they're doing OK. They're not part of the masses of suffering people. Right. But they do believe in socialism. But nothing like, they're not living like the magnets in Chicago, the railroad kids.

They're able to get by while they see other people suffering in their empaths. Yeah, they have empathy. All that. Yeah. The Chicago was burned down two years before. The city is rebuilt. And the railroad guys now have massive mansions

two years after the fire. While at the same time, shacks are rebuilt for the workers. The workers are put into overpriced barracks, basements, hovels near open sewers that clog from shit and dead animal bodies. Hey, at least they're not so open if they're clogged. That's right. There are infections and death.

Cholera is worse than in London and Liverpool, which is really sands. God damn. As more and more people live under bridges and sleep in police stations, the rich tell them to practice, quote, self-dependence. Yeah, thank you. Really?

Good Lord. Can't you just be completely corrupted, like the railroad people? Yeah, and Albert and Lucy's first summer in Chicago, they're overwhelmed from the stench from the river, which is now just liquid filth. The economic crash is that the mass. By the way, that's where the bears draft their cubies

from if I keep going. Wow, baseball choke. Yeah, yeah. The economic crash led to massive homelessness. Workers and others desperate for work are working longer hours for less money. Technology is then on top of that replacing them because they're agitating for better conditions

and then the responses to replace them with machines. Businessmen tell them to just pull themselves up by their bootstrap. So the technology that's happening with workers. So butchers are losing jobs to refrigerated railroad cars. The typewriter wipes out bookkeepers, and all the bookkeepers are replaced by women who type, and the women are paid less.

Sewing machines take out seamstresses. Boys take adult woodcarver's jobs for less money. Convicts replace bootmakers. They work 14-hour days. It's just a cycle of how much can be squeezed out of human beings. So socialists raged against the desire for profit, saying it was ruining the lives of most.

Businessmen said the best idea to help the unemployed was to close saloons in billiard halls so they wouldn't squander wages. Oh, fuck off. I mean, unreal, unreal. This is a very old, and you still see it today all the time, a very old, capitalist sort of talking point, which is the rich people say, well, you should just

have no joy in your life. Yeah. Oh, remember, it's like when the CEO of Delta was just like, well, I think it would be fair for people to turn around and ask if it's OK to recline. It's like, you prick. If I see you, I'm going to throw you through a jet engine. I mean, are you kidding me?

He's just like, look, I understand it's cramped. But what can you do? You're a cattle. What are we supposed to do? You are literal walking dollar signs to us. We know no better. So next time you're getting ready to complain, just think, well, why don't I have a bunch more money?

Some papers wrote that the suffering could be a good thing as it would force the irresponsible to change their ways. Dave, I'm going to jump through the fucking window. I'm so hot already. So European immigrants were taking the lead in organizing demonstrations. Immigrants were about 45% of Chicago. Businessmen, on the other hand, formed the Citizens Association,

which believed the government was only for protecting property and not to help, quote, the baser elements of the people. Oh, my god. I always love the fancy name, too. We're the Association of Aristocratic Gentlemen. What do you believe in? No rights for people beneath us. They thought City Hall was run by, quote,

unworthy, undignified men, and marching through the streets was a shameless display of poverty. Oh, my god. Yeah, like you're going and showing it off. We've got nothing. We need staff. Oh, look at them. So proud of their nothingness.

Well, they thought if you're poor, you should hide and just stay in the darkness. Yeah, go away. Yeah, get away. Why would you let anybody know you don't have money? Is there? Well, cosmetically, it looks terrible on the streets. You're full of poor.

So the rich were white Republicans, and Democrats were more diverse, working class, but neither party wanted to upset the capitalist order. Communism had recently become a dirty word for native-born Chicagoans to yell at hated foreign workers. The Workman's Party of Illinois started capturing the minds of city laborers. Albert joined the Social Democratic Party in 1876,

and he quickly became one of the leaders. They sought socialist control through voting. Socialist George Schilling, quote, wholesale hunger and destitution would furnish the surplus steam, discontent, that would blow the capitalistic system to kingdom come. Lucy took a large role in socialist debates and meetings. Albert became a regular speaker.

He was one of the only English speakers in the SDP. So it's mostly German. And then there's an English version of socialist groups, but they don't have as much power because there's not as many. And they also don't come equipped with the ideology that the Germans came with from Germany. Undercover cops started attending meetings, of course. Albert joins the Knights of Labor

and helps found Chicago's First Knights Assembly. And in 1877, he ran for public office as a socialist and was, of course, defeated. The Chicago Tribune labeled him a communist demagogue, which basically meant he is a violent revolutionary. Sure, right, of course. I mean, this is certainly obviously one of those episodes where we don't even need to say it.

It's just crazy. Literally just changed the names in the year. Yeah. So the cops are now specifically watching Albert Parsons. And Albert, Lucy, now speak German. They are very rare native-born German socialists. The overextended railroads now have to cut expenses because of the depression.

And that means, of course, cutting wages. Of course. Well, that's not the high wages. No, no, no, no. Just the lower wages. Not the CEO pay. Yes, yes. I'm getting a new bathtub.

Otherwise, what will the people look forward to? What will people strive to be? We need these people. We need the Jeff Bezos of the world. Otherwise, people will think that there's something to sharing. The people who have absolutely no leeway to take a wage cut are the ones who need to take a wage cut.

Yes. Yes. So the Tribune. The Tribune wrote owners were, quote, suffering as well as employees. Hmm, there's not as much caviar as there once was. West Virginia rail workers walked first, then Pittsburgh, where they burned 39 buildings, destroyed 104 locomotives,

and 1,200 passenger cars. Troops were called out. Then 20 strikers were killed in Philadelphia by the troops. Industrialists and newspapers called for violence against workers. They openly said workers should be poisoned, hung from phone poles, executed by firing squads, and blown up by hand grenade.

Ah. That's in the paper? It's, yeah, they're saying it. Yeah, they're saying it. They're openly saying it. It's publicly being like, well, the simple solution is to explode that class. Yeah, well, think about that.

Hold on to that point. So Chicago went on strike on July 21. That day, Albert spoke at a meeting of over 1,000. He was noted in the Tribune for being forceful and eloquent. A couple days later, he spoke again and called the press mouthpieces of industrialists. He said, at the end, he would say the names of the railroad

men, and the crowd would chant back, we'll hang them after each name. Oh, OK. The next day, Albert was fired from his job at the Times. On what grounds? Because of the chant? Later that day, he was grabbed by cops, taken to the station, and interrogated

by the chief of police, who told Albert his life was in danger and that he should leave the city. Quote, do you know you are liable to be assassinated any moment on the street? By us, we just can't do it here. No, we're the guys. Yeah. That night, Albert went to the Tribune's compositor's room.

So he's going to the guys who put the typesetting in the paper, his people, his level people, who sympathize with him. But management came, and three management attacked him, dragged him down the stairs, and pointed a gun at his head, and then told him they really wanted to blow his brains out. But we're professionals, so we're not going to cross that line.

God damn, I mean, it's just so insane. It's just got to be so insane when you have so many people threatening your life because of words. Yeah. On the streets, any gathering workers were being chased off by cops. And then cops broke into a meeting of furniture workers.

They shot one man, and they killed another. Others were beaten. By the time it was over, the walls were covered in blood. Jesus. Jones, quote, they were now convinced that no matter how peaceable their meetings, they would remain vulnerable to ambushes from authorities. Which is the goal.

Yeah. So after that day, later that day, sorry, cops and the National Guard fight, battle, 10,000 workers. It's called the Battle of the Viaduct. A lot of the workers are women. Altogether, 18 workers are killed. Obviously, tons are wounded.

But you never know those numbers because it's the 1800s, and really who's keeping track. I think it's the same thing. And you could hear over the crowd stop resisting, stop resisting, which means you're not sure what's happening. That's right. One socialist wrote that workers never saw cops the same way again after that day.

After the battle, forces are mobilized to protect private interests. Cops are put into infantry platoons. So they're actually put into the army's platoons. There were National Guard, state militia, Calvary, and veterans groups. The mayor deputized 5,000 men. Oh, my god.

Businessmen formed the Law and Order League. Which is fascism. That's a fact. It's a fascist thing. Shh. We don't know what fascism is. Businessmen make something called the Law and Order. Quiet.

Quiet over there, please. Shut. Jump back back. Businessmen make something called the Law and Order. This is the law. No, no, no, no. No, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa, pa. No, no, no.

Law and Order faction. That's right. The US Secretary of War sent six military companies. And then there was just tons of gunfire across the city. I think it's like 10 days. This is how you know you're on to something. This is the system's way of validating truth. Yeah, look, the more they want to crack down on you,

the more it's going to be there. And the immediacy and the level, I mean, when you're deputizing 5,000 people, I mean, you are like, it's just like, wait, I mean, we're just talking. Well, they're not anymore, though. They're fighting. Well, but before, I mean, like.

I mean, the cops started. The threat, the threat comes from the things you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which is supposed to be precious in this country. You're saying stuff and you're asking just to have a basic life. It's a fair fairness. You're asking for like, you don't even ask it for equality. You're just asking for like a level of fairness.

And again, this is all rich people just keeping their money. That's all that's happened. Yeah, yes. So by July 27th, calm had returned. The Citizens Association then called for a volunteer militia to form, to always be there to protect property. Sure. In 1878, the association.

By the way, in this country, if you want rights, just dress up like a fucking building. In 1878, the association would give the city a Gatling gun, 600 rifles, four cannons, and just tons of ammo. It's a city. Oh my god. Well, we've got four cannons, finally. Four cannons.

Now, socialists believe the summer of 1877 was a declaration of war. It just radicalized more workers. That's what the result was. And leaders like Mother Jones, Eugene Debs, Samuel Gompers, all radicalized by this. And also Lucy. She was now convinced both parties were useless.

And her writings now mirrored Alberts. Alberts blacklisted. He can't get work anywhere. To his comrades, he is a martyr for the cause. Lucy had to make the money for the family. She expanded her business while becoming a regular writer in leftist papers. And Albert helped with the business also.

Even Alan Pinkerton took a special interest in Albert. And he said Albert was a man of, quote, viciousness and desperation. Pinkerton thought Albert was strange in every way and noted that he openly called a black woman his wife. It's just many red flags with this man. He believes in equality. He will associate with non-whites.

It's a very, very disturbed individual we're dealing with here. Unlike me, who gets it? So Albert, throughout this, he runs for office every year. He never wins. The working rooms party became the socialist labor party. Albert was their assistant editor on their paper. And their paper included quotations in each issue

from enemy capitalists. We have to start that again. Albert also made for really good copy for reporters. He would talk to them. He was very open with them. There were a bunch of high profile stories on him in 1878. And he made sure everyone understood that he and other workers would use violence for defense.

OK. Breaking up a meeting, he said, would be met with lethal force. OK. So finally, the language is matching. Now, Lucy co-founded the Chicago Women's Working Union. She's just 26 years old. She gave birth to their first kid.

Whose name, we should just say now, is Bernie Sanders. But unions did lose strength over the Depression because membership declined, strikes failed. And in 1879, the socialist paper folded. Albert had tried to run for office several times and failed. He thought the long hours, the shit wages that workers were given gave them little time to deal with politics or even to vote.

And also, many laborers to him seemed just resigned to live a life of hell. Which is the goal of the capitalist. Yes. Socialists also disagreed over ideology and strategy. If you can believe, socialists would fight amongst themselves. Shocking. Shocking.

Weird. November 1880 was the last time Lucy and Albert would vote. They began saying this would not be solved at the ballot box. Fools. And their language became more extreme. And essentially, they became anarchists. OK, this. Doing this, they lost some old socialist friends.

Soon Albert was heavily involved in running Chicago's anarchist press. They met German anarchist Johann Most, who believed violence would wake up the masses and drive them to overthrow the capitalists. It's the only way to shake the system. Do you understand? Albert and Lucy ran with his rhetoric.

The Anarchist Working People's Association, the IWPA, which was sometimes called Black International, now had a Chicago chapter. So the manifesto of the Chicago IWPA called for a new American revolution. Quote, by force, our ancestors liberated themselves from political oppression. By force, their children will have to liberate themselves

from economic bondage. Albert wrote for a paper in San Francisco now called Truth that had headlines like, quote, dynamite, plain directions for making it, and dynamite, will be used in America. I mean, you get pushed to that point, but I can understand seeing that headline and being like, I don't love what this paper is saying.

This is worrying. Hey, honey, is it weird that the front page of this paper is how to make dynamite and where to use it? Does that seem strange to you? Because it's so easy to make. Just not sure. OK. Oh, look, how to give a man a Canadian necktie.

What's? Oh, finally, the funny pages. This is where I like it. Oh, God, look at the Lord. They're curbing this man. Look at that, these two. These are two horses. They're curbed handicap.

Yeah, they're curbing. And they're laughing. The two horses are curbing handicap. And what they're saying is, hey, is for whore. I don't understand it, but it's extremely violent. This one has Uncle Sam having sex with the statue. I don't even understand these. I would just like to point out that you, I believe you said,

Canadian necktie instead of Colombian necktie. Well, no, Canadian necktie is just a regular necktie. Honey, look at that. You just go under, over, and then you put it through the loop. That's a graphic image of a Canadian necktie, isn't it? What's a Colombian necktie? Is that like a kerchief or a bowtie? Yes, that's an ascot sort of situation.

Ascot. Interesting. I'd love to get one of those. Head down to Colombia now. Yeah, go ask for one. I will. Hello, Taylor. I came all the way here to get one of your famous neckties.

Get your hands off me, you motherfucker. What are you doing? That's not how you measure a man. Oh, my throat, my throat, my throat. So they see anarchy as inevitable because misery would lead to a revolution. But almost all anarchist literature at this point is not in English, which is obviously a problem.

So Albert Lissue started writing in a Denver paper, The Labor Enquirer, and putting in anarchist ideas. Lissue attacked two-party politics and corruption. They were still struggling as a family. They had a second kid. They can only afford basics. Albert formed a new, even more radical Federation of Unions. I like how nobody is keeping up with his radicalization,

but he's like, we should go further. That's what'll get him. He started going on Midwest tours that he called Agitation Trips for the IWPA. Every year, he is becoming a better and better speaker. So he started publishing his own paper called The Alarm. And it's in a building where they also have a German paper. So it's like a German version, English version sort of.

Albert and Lissue wrote about the power of dynamite. At meetings, they knew who the undercover cops or Pinkerton's were, because there's not that many anarchists. So they know one of the guys, you know, undercover. All right, let's just take a roll call. Teddy Anarchist, not a cop? That's a full name? That's right.

It's exciting to be here. So I'm excited to see what you guys do. I hate the law and the man. And I love dynamite. And fuck the system. We should uproot them. I mean, I get their ideas, and some of them seem pretty cool. But yeah, let's do this.

Teddy Anarchist is the full name. And you could call me not a cop for short, because I'm not. So that's the end of that. And anyone who asks is probably a cop. OK, so give me all the details of the specifics and your secrets. And hurry up. I have a gun.

So they decided not to kick the cops out or point out that they knew they were cops. What they did was Albert would tailor his speech to the cop, because he wanted the cop to take the message back to the station or city hall or wherever. Quote. OK. Quote, I say to you, rise one and all,

and let us exterminate them all. Woe to the police or militia who they send against us. So he's just like, if we ever found a cop in here, we would just cut his penis off and stuff it down his throat. And the cop's like, g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g. And then Albert would also pretend to take undercover cops into his confidence and use them to send messages to those in charge.

That's the best. Hey, you, new guy, I get a really good vibe off of you. Let me tell you some of the deep secrets of this organization. How's the undercover work going? Amazing. It's so easy to infiltrate. He's so gullible, this guy. Well, what Albert wanted to do was to make it

seem like the anarchists were more powerful than they were. And he was doing the same thing to reporters. Right. They had marches, and they chanted they were going to blow up a building that they were targeting. OK. After one march, they told the reporter and two undercover cops how they planned to do it.

So they took him up to their offices, and they explained in detail how they would blow up a building. Right. And the rhetoric is just increasing. They threatened to use dynamite on capitalists in their papers. They printed pictures of their bombs. So they wanted businessmen and politicians

to take their threats seriously and think they were going to be blown up and then respond to the demands of the workers. OK. And then they, in turn, would not blow up the capitalists. Like, that's the idea. Is it our, well, I guess we'll find out if it's an empty threat or not.

So Lucy read an article called Two Tramps, the Unemployed, the Disinherited, and the Miserable. Use strikes. Organization isn't needed. Quote, learn to use explosives. Lucy's a very good writer. She's a better writer than Albert, by far. Also sounds like she's big into explosives.

Well, they all are. Yeah, sounds like it's a passion. So her articles become anarchist propaganda that are handed out in anarchist meetings and other meetings. Both the unemployed of Chicago and the city elites are now very aware of Lucy and who she is. OK. In April 1885, she followed up Tramps

with an article titled Dynamite. It's getting more overt. She called dynamite the dear stuff. I'm guessing DEA. And said it would lead to a free society. It could put the power in the hands of the people and fear into the bosses. Man, that's, I mean, it's, she's not wrong.

It's just like it's an amazing thing to be enamored with. Dynamite is really unbelievable stuff. Do you know about this stuff? It's unbelievable. Well, but you can just throw it and completely alter the way things are going for a company, right? I mean, it is, in every sense, a change thing. Yes, it is.

Yes, it's, yeah, what we call change sticks. So her pieces are very descriptive, very colorful. Paper workers all over the Midwest begin to cover her weekly speeches. The Cleveland leader described one audience as, quote, the local dynamiters, socialists, and would-be murderers. You know, they're just a bunch of dynamiters. They're potential murderers.

You know how it is. They're the local dynamite community. They love to murder potentially. They love sticks and they love to kill. OK? From one speech, quote, dynamite is our savior. We don't want a better savior. Let us learn how to make it and then not spare its use.

Jesus Christ. Like if you're reading this, if you're like in the, I mean, if you're in the upper echelon, you're like, I'm not loving what I'm reading. Well, also, it's not. Seems to really be dynamite-based philosophies. It's not random. In 1881, anarchists assassinated

Tsar Alexander II with homemade grenades. The Finians had attacked the British for four years now with dynamite. So it's a, it's a, it's not coming from nowhere. No, those Finians. In February, the Tribune published 88 articles that were in some way about dynamite. Albert said dynamite would have produced equality.

Johann Most encouraged anarchists to put bombs in ballrooms, banquet halls, and churches. The alarm wrote, quote, it is clearly more humane to blow 10 men into eternity than to make 10 men starve to death. And I'm not, I'm not trying to pile on the anarchist side, but it's, it's not even starving 10 men. It's, if you, I mean, if you get rid of those 10 men,

you're potentially saving the futures of hundreds. Well, yeah, that's the point they're making is that, and is it, it's not 10 men. If they're starving 10 men, they're starving 100 men, they're starving 1,000. Yeah, exactly, yeah. They wanted both laborers and the rich enemies to take dynamite seriously.

Well, I think it's time. So by 1885, they're very well associated with dynamite. And the cops did want, the cops don't want to, for whatever reason, they don't want to arrest Lucy because she's a woman. So she gets away with sort of more colorful language. And by now, laborers have shown they would cause major problems for entire sectors of the economy and get concessions.

Trade groups walked off jobs and beat up scabs. Elites worried workers would come together and destroy their America. There are about 3,000 anarchists in Chicago. But the elites are worried about them. Sure. White labor class didn't have any time for anarchists. The social labor party called them the dynamite assassins. OK, catchy.

Yeah, which only helps them. I mean, if you're. Oh, are they trying to disparage them? Yes. That's no, that is like a great movie title. The dynamite assassins? Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, you're like, look, I know you try to hurt our feelings. That's a better name for what we're doing. Mother Jones thought the anarchists did more harm than good, and their speeches caused sympathy for workers to just vanish. Anyone fighting for the eight hour work day was called a traitor, an anarchist. So it is just amazing how it works. Well, but it's a it's a it's a.

So it's there's two things happening here. You you're if you're calling all the workers anarchists because you can tie them to them. Well, now you're actually making the working class more dangerous because you're giving them more power by saying that you're saying they can take what they want. So it's an interesting sort of thing. Yeah, well, you're also if you paint someone as something that they're not

and they have nothing to lose, then they just be like, all right, fuck it. I am. Yeah. So cops are going to every meeting rallies, picnics, union numbers are increasing as as were strikes and boycotts. At one point, the Knights of Labor actually got railroad Baron Jay Gould to back down from reducing wages and not firing any nights. Hmm. So they're definitely, you know, unions are definitely working. In December, 1885, a bomb and a tin can was put on the doorstep of a judge.

It was found no one was injured, but that scares them. Sure. Sure. The commercial club then bought a machine gun and formed a committee of safety. That's the best thing to start your committee of safety with. Well, I've always said the best way to stop random bombings that are done secretly at night is to get a giant machine gun. That'll it'll find them. It's got the nose of a bloodhound.

So the city is on high alert for the coming May day, 1886. Chicago Mail wrote that Albert and another anarchist, August Spies, should be held, quote, personally responsible for any trouble that does occur. August Spies is a tough name to have when you're trying to be like incognito a lot. It's not great. Mr. Spies. Yeah. Yeah. That's sorry. Yes. But I'm not spying.

What? Come on. Just because it's my last name, everything's on the up and up. So in Chicago, 300,000 workers go on strike. 13,000 locations, 80,000 March on May day. Lucy, Albert and their two kids are out in front. That night, Albert goes to speak in Cincinnati in Chicago workers in city. Yeah, that's right, girl. In Chicago, workers struck at the McCormick Reaper works.

The strikers attacked the scabs. Then the police attacked the strikers. The cop shot, they killed two. They wounded a bunch. So after this, August Spies printed up a hand bill calling for a mass meeting at Haymarket Square. On Tuesday, May 4th, the strike was in its fourth day and it was only getting larger. Albert returned home from Cincinnati in the morning and later that day, Lucy, Albert and their kids went to the alarm to print up a hand bill for a meeting for siebstresses.

So the Haymarket meeting soon got going and someone came to the alarm offices and said they needed Albert to speak. He wasn't planning on speaking, but he went anyway and Lucy brought the kids. So he gets there, he climbs on an empty wagon and he speaks for about 45 minutes. The reporter said it was usual talk that he did. The mayor was there and the mayor left after Albert spoke. It starts to rain, people start leaving. It's down to about 500 people. And then a couple cops that were still there were worried by something a speaker was saying. So they rush back to the station and they get reinforcements and pretty soon 80 cops show up.

Come on, we got to hurry. They got a bunch of words. Let's go. The speaker is told to stop speaking. And then someone in an alley threw a round object with a tail of fire. Oh, boy. Armadillo? It explodes right in front of the cops. Other cops who aren't dead or injured start shooting into the crowd. Sure. What a great solution. So that's good training. I'm glad the training has not gotten any better.

What happened? A bomb went off. Kill these people who didn't know about it. Seven cops die, four civilians, 67 are injured, but a lot aren't counted again. We don't really know because people just get dragged into a house and whatever. While this goes on, Albert and Lucy are in a saloon with some other anarchists. One of the anarchists told Albert he needs to get out of Chicago because they're going to come looking for him. So he hops on a train and takes off the next day. Oh, so he'll use trains when they're convenient for him. Oh, very interesting. Very interesting.

So let me get this straight. He's against the people who build the trains and have the money. Yet when he needs to flee, what does he do? Gets on a train. Very interesting indeed, my friend. The next day, cops round up over 200 men. Lucy and Albert's apartment is tossed. The cops grill their young son to give of Albert's location. Ah, let's flip him over. He's almost done. Then they raid the alarm offices. Police said there they found dynamite sticks, fuses, blasting caps, and lead that matched the bomb. Plus gunpowder on Albert's desk, a fuse and a bomb cartridge.

All right, look, it's fair to say they had stuff to make explosives there. Well, also, at one point, are people going to stop believing that when the cops find an absolutely perfect evidence scene that it's absolutely fucking bullshit? Well, that is a big problem with our system, where it's just you believe the words of these people over anyone else. And what's been amazing and not surprising is how now, because of phones and bodycams, it's like, oh, total liars, often totally lying. Yeah. Oh, they've always lied. The search is now on for Albert. Newspapers dive into Lucy and Albert's pasts. They go to Texas, they record on their courtship, the pregnancy, the other guy, how he was organizing black people.

Lucy's ethnicity is specifically focused on, she's described as a mongrel in their kids' mules. Jesus. The news is nationwide, the cops are martyrs. Papers, like the New York Times, call for a crackdown. Oh, they're stuck. I am, I am, I'll shut up. The New York Times calls for a crackdown on, quote, anarchy's red hand. Papers claim the spies, Albert and others, had lured the cops to their death.

A reporter for the Chicago Daily News. So the New York Times has been doing the same job forever. Oh yeah, New York Times has never stopped what they've been doing ever. That's just the same stuff. Democracy dies in light. A reporter for the Chicago Daily News interviewed Lucy at home, his description of her looks was lengthy. Oh, that's also disgusting, but go ahead. He asked her if, quote, the ambition of her life is to fire the engine that shall run the guillotine to cut off the heads of capitalists.

That's the easiest softball question you could ever, yes, it is. Next question. To which Lucy responded, quote, that is my religion. Yeah, I mean, can you imagine asking that question as like, I've got you Lucy. And for her to turn around to be like, no, no, it's just my religion. Not the answer I was expecting. I thought I would put you on the defensive. You have now found me out.

They didn't teach me this in my reported class. So Albert first hides in Geneva, Illinois, and then Waukesha, Wisconsin. Waukesha. Waukesha, where they make sausages. They sort of make the sausages there. Oh, you're going to need to relax a little bit. Okay. Thank you so much.

Waukesha. He's being aided by anarchists. He shaves his mustache. He dyes his hair. He grows a beard. He wears clothes that don't fit. Meanwhile, the Chicago. Well, we didn't see him.

We just got this weird guy with no mustache beard. It looks like he's lost a lot of weight recently. A grand jury in Chicago indicts 31 men. The man police believed through the bomb is gone. He vanished. So they got, they think they know who the guy is, but they never, ever find that guy. Okay. All right.

Prosecutors say the bombing was planned at the alarm offices. The Chicago Times, quote, public justice demands that the assassin, Albert Parsons, who is said to disgrace this country by being born in it, shall be seized, tried, and hanged for murder. All right. And that's what we call fair journalism. It's also his ex employer. Yeah.

I mean, but I mean, it's so, that's amazing. Lucy is not charged, but the Times called for her also to be tried and hanged. It's just one of those rare moments in this podcast where being a woman has an advantage in this time. Yeah. You know what? It does, it does very much seem like that. This is, like that was just a thing.

Like for some reason, the cops did not want to arrest her, nor did the prosecutor. Like it's always been never considered actual humans or having rights, just like most people who aren't white men. And yet in this situation, there is an advantage to it. I don't know what it was. You know, she is a black woman, but I just think that she's such a fucking good writer, and she's such a good, she's so good at getting the message out. And she's also fucking scary as shit.

Like she's... I wouldn't give them enough credit to think that they recognize that if they do make, try to make an example out of her, it just is going to awaken a lot of other people that like, oh shit, we also have power that we don't know about right now, you know, because that is the strength of this situation. So Lucy meets with the defense attorney to come up with a strategy for Albert. And the defense attorney says Albert should just show up on the first day of the trial, which would shock everyone, and make the officials realize he's innocent because a

guilty man would never turn himself in. Who, who, let me, can you imagine the look on her face when he's done with his pitch? Here's what we do. He shows up to court. Boom. Pretty good, right? Shows up. Nobody's going to see that coming.

Right? Yeah, it's not. He, listen, they say that they're looking for him. He's five minutes late. Boom. Walks in with a suit, sits down, ready to stand trial. It's like... Game over.

It's like... Prosecution. It's like she found Aaron Sorkin, the lawyer. So I don't, and I don't, this part is just crazy because she's such a smart woman. But she's like, yeah, that's a good idea. I would have thought counterpoint would have been like dynamite. I think people really put their trust in stupid lawyers a lot. Like I think that's really a big problem in America.

I've been in that situation and you literally have, you're just like, look, I don't speak the Martian language you do. If you say that's what is right, then let's do it. Yeah. And he genuinely believed that it would work. So, because he said... It's almost adorable. He said that a guilty man would never turn...

They would not think a guilty man would turn himself in. So this will work. So he believed that it would cause the public to rally around Albert and force the prosecutors to back down all this stuff. So anyway, Lucy agrees. Lucy agrees to it. Albert comes back. People could not believe it when he walks into court.

Whoa. Everyone is... He's going to go to jail. Just shocked. And the judge asks him where he's been and Albert says, quote, oh, I have been out west to a water in place. And then the prosecutor immediately asks for Albert to be taken into custody. Excuse me.

Excuse me. I'm not part of the... Objection. He showed up. Clearly the man... What's going on? Do you guys not know what shrewd counsel is? Hello.

So the defense cannot believe Albert isn't being treated like a hero and is instead going to jail for the trial. Here's what we do. Let him go to jail. Think about it. Boom. Game over. So the trial lasts from July 16th through August 11th.

The whole time, the judge always has a group of, quote, well-dressed female acquaintances to keep him company. What? What does that mean? What does that mean? Is he getting jerked off? He's just got ladies around him that he can chat with and have a good time. Is that not... can you not do that outside of the courtroom?

And let's also swear in the harem. Come on. Ladies in and like this. Watch this. Overruled. Oh, wow. He really did that. That's right.

That's right. I did. Overruled indeed. I was going to say we take a recess for this ball fondling, but I think I'm enjoying it happening in front of everyone. So let's just proceed. Just try to ignore my noises. There you go.

Look, his balls are so big. Play with his balls. I've got some of his balls too. I'm fiddling with his taint a little bit under the robe. Who's your judge? Guess what? Guess where my pinky is? Oh, Sheila, stop it.

This is normal. Oh, he's coming. Oh, he came. All right. Grab me another robe. All right. Here's a new fresh robe. He came in the last one.

There we go. He's guilty of finishing. All right. Quiet. He's got to do his job. I know. I was telling you to be quiet. You guys be quiet.

Stop it. My hand smells funny. The jury played cards during most of the trial. So where are we today for the treehouse? I guess I was just picturing the courtroom for a lot of this. I just think that there's, maybe there's a different idea where they're like, well, we're going to be here a long time. So everyone should be comfortable.

This would be, if you got jury duty, you'd be like, oh, cool. I'm hanging out with some friends. All right. So this is going to be a traditional trial. The judge is going to get jerked off during it. And then you guys can play parlor games. Any questions? That guy showed up.

That means he's innocent. Let's throw him in jail. Let's do it. So during the whole trial, Lucy gives interviews and she holds firm that Albert is innocent, but she also says the movement does need a martyr and quite a few anarchists agreed. They were comparing, they were comparing Albert to John Brown. Is he hearing this like, let's pitch on. I don't know if we're settled on who though.

I agree. It needs one, but let's figure out who after. Socialists, the Knights of Labor and other working groups put distance between themselves and the anarchists. Boston anarchists said Chicago anarchists had, quote, false, were, quote, falsely sailing under anarchist colors committing murder, arson and mob violence. The day this is the, the idea that anarchists can't see eye to eye. The date, the labor inquirer said they were wild men.

Now it's a conspiracy trial. So they don't actually have to be there or be seen through the bomb or whatever. Defendant speeches and writings are used against them as evidence. So all the dynamite stuff is coming up. Okay. Albert continues to write to newspapers during the trial from his jail cell. Police say one anarchist had bomb making materials at his home that matched the bomb. Witnesses lie and they say they were at the bomb, bomb planning meeting at the alarm.

Yeah, I'll never forget it. He said, let's do it. We were all there. Yep. They were playing some slim Whitman. I remember it so clearly. Yep. It was there.

And we all said, maybe we shouldn't bomb it. He goes, no, no, no. We for sure should. Yep. Can I get jerked off under the robe? Yeah, yeah. I got that. Thank you.

Lucy's writings became evidence. So did articles in the alarm about bombing, arson and street fighting. The defense said Albert would not have brought up kids. So the defense says Albert would not have brought his kids if there was going to be a bombing that he knew about. Fair point. So then the prosecution argued that he had never brought his kids. Great. Okay.

Good counter. Oh, yes. His children weren't there. Final answer. Witnesses obviously testified the kids were there. A witness has also testified that none of the eight threw the bomb. But the jury found seven of the men, including Albert, guilty of murder and recommended the death penalty. The defense attorney couldn't believe it, saying it was, quote, a profound and universal surprise.

Now, the lawyer was also... Yeah, well, this is also the guy who was just like, show up. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So he's like, I never saw any of this coming. Well, he now thought his plan to have Albert come to court on the first day was a terrible idea. Oh, cool. Good.

Well, hey, whatever. At least we can not, we can walk away without any consequences. So they're all sentenced to death, but one, two ask for clemency and their sentence are commuted to life in prison on November 10th, 1887. Now, the reason it was on November 10th is because the next day they're scheduled to be executed. And they actually want them to ask for clemency because part of clemency means saying, you did it. And then you get life in prison. So Albert refuses to ask for clemency because that would be an admission of guilt and he did not do it. Oh, boy.

We got the martyr. That same day, another of the condemned, Louis Ling, killed himself in a cell using a blasting cap hidden in the cigar. Dave, I don't want to make light. That don't just, I mean, there's just, it's like how all pranksters want to go. So the next day, Albert August buys Adolf Fisher and George Engel were executed by hanging. Albert's final words were, quote, will I be allowed to speak? Oh men of America. Let me speak, Sheriff Matson.

Let the voice of the people be heard. Oh, but that was it. Because the trapdoor was sprung and they killed him. Now they cut the mic. Lucy goes on to other accomplishments. She is an amazing person in her own right, which I do believe will be the dollop next week. Oh, wow. Jesus.

This came from Albert's, a lot of the sources of this, two main sources. Albert's own autobiography and then Goddess of Anarchy by Jacqueline Jones, which is about Lucy. We tried. We tried.