The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 47 - The Past Times with Alice Fraser

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian and writer Alice Fraser. Redbubble Merch

Struggling with stubborn discoloration? Get the clinical solution! New Paulus Choice 25% Vitamin C plus Glutathione clinical serum. Advanced technology correct sun damage and discoloration with zero irritation. Formulated with glutathione, a powerhouse antioxidant that amplifies vitamin C gently. For all skin types and tones, the future of vitamin C is here. Available at Paulus Choice and Sephora. All right everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper

from a random date, history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. The lovely Alice Prazier. Hello Alice Hello, but it's a light to be here Thank you for being here You're in Italy. I am yes, which is a big deal And then it's more pleasant to be in cyberspace with you two gentlemen That's impossible and a lie But we appreciate the lie.

So let's talk about what you have going on. You don't want to talk about your book that's coming out. But instead, the people who support you can go listen to your podcast. They can support your Patreon. You want to just give a quick plug in that direction. Yes, patreon.com slash Alice Fraser. I do a weekly writers meeting if you want to write some stuff, write it with me. Also, I do like a salon

and a book club where you don't have to do any homework. All that stuff on my Patreon and the Gaggle is my podcast. It's a weekly podcast where we do all of the news and none of the politics because I kept being asked to do satirical news comedy and I was like yes but can I never make a joke about Donald Trump again please. Well you've come to the right place to avoid that. I think did you just say that you have a book club where you probably don't have to read a book club? Well I hate that feeling of home work looming over you or the fact that you can kind of fail. So we come to the book club,

we all read a poem or a short story or watch something together in the room and then we talk about it. So you don't have to feel like you've got, I just don't like the homework feeling, right? Yeah, it's a good idea. You're among friends. My wife was in a book club

and because of the homework aspect it just descended into one night. That's smart. That's an alcohol excruciation. Then it wasn't even a book club and because of the homework aspect it just descended to one night. That's smart. That's an alcohol excursion. And it wasn't even a book club anymore. I wanted to know to the reading and sound like I had I'd be back at university. Yeah. Well. Yeah. There you go. Okay. Great. Well, we girth, do you want to do you want to headline to try to try to get the year. And Dave will throw a headline our way, I guess.

Hundreds, oh, 100 high school boys held conference to develop leadership for higher ideals. Ooh, that, again, that's just not helpful. That's a tough one. It just, that could be any era where there were wankers. And that's where there were boy wankers and that's where there are avoid wankers. That's correct.

And that is pretty much every the only thing that I'm like, okay, well, it's not like high school. So I'm guessing it's night. I'll say I'll say 19 20. I'll say 1918. Oh, I'd say nineteen forty-three. Okay. Yeah, I think you're probably closer.

We'll find out. 19-11. Ooh, knocking on the door. February 6th. Yeah, you were right there. Yeah, how about that? How about that? Hold on, I have to text my kid.

I text my son until I'm not too screened while I'm recording. Well, because he's playing video games. Women will stick until they win out. Hmm. Ha ha. The suffrage women of I feel like it was stormed here.

The state. Yes. I didn't think it was a chance like I just had a vision of women as those sticky lizards that you throw at the glass. That's right. I just had a vision of women as sticky lizards that you throw at the glass That's right. No, they slowly roll down The suffrage women of boon are to storm the state capital in the interest of oh, this is

Des Moines Iowa. Yeah, yeah, I forgot to say this is the Des Moines Tribune The suffrage women of boon are to storm the state capitol in the interest of women suffrage everyday until the joint resolution calling for the submission of the suffrage amendment to the vote of the electors is adopted or turned down by the legislature to boon suffrage women will be constant attendance in the gallery

at the legislative hall no women involved in politics and it is disgusting uh... but i love how there's going to be two women that like there's storming down january six was a protest and this is a a january six uh... the representatives of the boon club by resolution will wear conspicuous badges and will sit in the gallery to the best vantage point

to be seen by legislators unfavorable to the suffrage cause uh... okay so they're gonna wear badges and uh... i'm guessing the men of uh... the air are paranoid is pre-use well i mean they're saying women are gonna of the error paranoid is peruse. Well, I mean, they're saying women are gonna storm the state capital and all they're doing is sitting in a place

where people who don't want suffrage can see them and they're being conspicuous. So it's a little bit. So they're not even undercover suffragettes. They're just like straight up like, yeah, we're here and they're like, this is not good. Yeah, we're here. They're like, this is not good. Yeah, we're here.

They're starving the place. They're starving. What was she wearing, a badge? Yeah, that was a bit much. Oh my God. A badge. Oh, we might have a theme here. Chicken pox, invade school. Is it one chicken with one pox?

No, what's the thing? It's probably one chicken. It's one pox. From chicken pox to small pocks of Jack Gurms' deadly work is the name of an exciting little drama in which a number of the peoples of the Marcusville schools are appearing in the title roles today. But what is it?

What? Is it disease the musical? It's having to get to play? Yeah. Yeah, it's disease the musical bags playing a beautiful who are playing I Want to be a smallpox Those who are playing in the drama are confirmed to their homes

While those who have been exposed to some of the rehearsals are not allowed to attend school Oh, they're just doing like a fun thing about smallpox and chickenpox. Oh, just light, smallpox, chickenpox, some fun. Are they suggesting they children are being dramatic by being stricken with like, is there what they're saying? Is there what they're saying?

Is there what they're saying? Is there what they're saying? I can't really tell, it's very... There are no smallpox. Several weeks ago, an epitome. Only small actors. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, it's very there are no small. Small box only small actors. Several weeks ago, an epidemic of chickenpox began to assert itself later was found that some of the people's were suffering

with smallpox. What the fuck? It's smallpox. Hey, the kids have smallpox. That's fine. It is probably County Super Intended of Schools. Mrs. Jen Hugley will order study suspended until the epidemic is over. What the fuck is happened? It's logical. That seems like she's more logical than most of our principals now. There's, yeah, oh yeah, for sure.

There's smallpox in schools and they're like, man, we might close it. I don't know. It's just smallpox, the most deadly virus. That's really crazy. Well, at least they got a sound now. I'm surprised that you think that's crazy, based on what's going on right now and your Twitter. I mean, yeah, okay, that's fair.

I mean, I guess at this time they didn't have Twitter so they didn't have that thing where you can see like deadly disease deadly disease horrible Massacre like human rights violation fun meme fun meme, so they have to scroll together and deliver them to you in the news of just like Law kids might die, you know, yeah women showing up for rights Bumps happening on kids So what you kids get a little bumpy. I like a bumpy kid Alice your parent be honest Wouldn't you like a couple more bumps on the child? I think that's fun. I mean it makes it easier to grab I assume yeah, it's easier to cut yeah exactly. They're kind of like gripping zones

The last thing you want is a slippery kid. That's you do exactly. I don't yeah, nobody wants a slippery kid Uncle Sam nabs Jordan Brown You did you exactly. Yeah, nobody wants a slippery kid. Nope. Uncle Sam nabs George Brown. So Uncle Sam was a real guy. Uncle Sam's actual person. Yeah, I don't know if you know that. Yeah, he was a cop. Yeah, I was like the marvel. Yeah. George Brown is held by the police on a charge of using the males to defraud the public filed by United States Deputy Marshall George Bidwell. It is alleged Brown advertised for business partners and asked for each applicant to deposit

with him $15 as proof of good faith. So just mail fraud, a mail scam. It sounds, but it sounds so vague. Oh, so he was just sending mail saying, hey, which is like, you want to be a business partner? People are like, $15. Yeah, $15 to be a business partner.

Absolutely. Is this the first Nigerian prince? Is that what we're seeing here? Is this the first? It's gotta be close. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha there better that just don't how old is she she's probably 70 okay that's what that's the people who fall for it you know it's the age right I tell my mother all the time I'm like just anyone ever seems really helpful once you're bank account don't don't call me and I'll tell you maybe but to be fair I got like three grand out of your Yeah, no, you've been really call us about this What is this game what are they did they just ask for your information your credit? Like well, they just know everyone is Amazon. So they're just like hey, there's an issue with your Amazon account

And we're trying to do it. Oh gosh. Yeah Where if your landline rings you're like this is helpful My dad with this perspective my dad's only He doesn't trust anybody he just he just will like hang up on anybody. That's better. That's my mom is she's like I don't believe you You're like what it's a fire department. You're not you, you're like, what? It's the fire department. That's better than you're not. That's better. Yeah, absolutely better.

In every other respect, he has exactly the same relationship to all technology that all Boomers have, which is, loves an iPad, like just adores his iPad. Yeah. Loves being on speakerphone and has a weirdly personal resentment against the selfie stick as an accessory that symbolizes everything that he's doing with it. I am completely with him on the selfies there.

No, I mean, for your generation, yes, Gareth, but for my dad's generation, the selfie stick is the only accessory that could ever help him read a menu just to give him that home address. That's right. All right, back to George Brown. He had an office fitted up at the observatory building and two hundred answers were found to his advertisement

the police believe that brown has worked the same game in other cities and are holding him until they receive word from Minneapolis regarding his identity was not even a who is those of the days what they were you just show just show up somewhere and be like, here's my name. It really is, but such a, it's like a criminals paradise. They just were thinking so small. And this is not that long ago.

This feels like it would be like 1810, yeah, but like 1911 to be like, hey, do you wanna be a manager at a business? $7,15. Oh, that sounds pretty good. And meanwhile, the depression is not that far away. It's not that far away. All you need to do to get away with lots of crimes

is to have a face that was hard to draw, you know? Yeah, yes. That's right. Yeah, and just show up and just be like, do you like money? Give me money. I do. Give me money! I do! Give me your money!

Okay, will I have more if I give you this? You're gonna be quite a rich man, let me tell you that. Alright, now I'll be back! Okay, I'll wait! Alright, dumb fuck. What? Later! To be fair, also, crypto currency though.

Fair. Yeah, crypto. Stork brings twins. Shock kills father. No, it didn't. No, wait, shock kills father. The Stork murdered a man. He's a Stark killed a guy.

I get the combination of like whimsical and tragic here is like doing that. Yes, right. It's so like, yeah, why are you fun their paper paper is just like you know babies aren't from sex well they killed a man a man's not dead uh this is sad as chic chicago the arrival of twins that could cut throat

it's the whole tone of this newspaper just life is cheap our paper is That's a cut cut throat. It's the whole tone of this newspaper just life is cheap. Our paper is expensive like I don't get Yeah, it really does it seems like like this guys just like dead people are kind of funny, you know getting fucked over is kind of hilarious Um the arrival of twins at the home of Martin Tui, an iron worker, was so unexpected. Of course it's Tui. One if it was just the regular baby. That's a good joke, Dave. This, give it up.

The shock killed the father, according to the information given a municipal judge here today. Tui had been cited to appear in court and explain why he deserted his wife and children. Instead his brother appeared and in an odd whisper said he's dead. He's dead. He's just fucked up. That's not true at all. Completely. Exactly what I was about to say. This man is not dead. This man is 100%

alive. Even if it is his brother, brother is just like yeah whatever he's alive not his brother it's just him in a wig like it's 100% it's just the easy it's again it's the same thing as the male scam he's just like well he's gonna go to jail for leaving his wife he's like well you can't put a dead man in jail they're like shit he has to be dead all right well we'll see you later and he's like one town away like dip do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do And he's like one town away like dip, do do do do do do. He's dead. Your honor, dead and buried. You see when he came home that night in January and found he was the father of twins, the shock was so great. That's why he quarreled with his wife and left her. Then, you know know he asked till today to think it over and he died saturday the shock was too much for him you died saturday why why would you not

but man why would you not be like he's been dead for like five months we just found out so he found out in january what what is the date on this paper he found out in january the paper today is february okay so not too bad but still but he died i don't know his reaction

the papers monday he died on saturday it was just i this dude is a lot this weekend he did the shot took a month and then he died this man is alive this man is alive and and

i'm very empathetic with not wanting to be a dad, but it is this man is alive. This man is alive. This man is alive and this man is not taking ownership. Yeah. That's what it is. This headline is see what we are getting. Okay, this is a really long word. That are lekkens for Oats the Geyser. Please repeat quickly and get your breath again. Do not be alarmed. We have had thater lekkens for Tissa Geyser served up to us in English daily. Okay, I don't have-

I don't have- Are you saying- What is this word? It comes quite apropos with the recent blizzard for the sweet sounding epiteth is Swedish for weather forecast. Okay. And who's dead? Who died in this blizzard? August Youngberg, police desk sergeant, brought the word to the police station this morning in a telescope suitcase,

an unlimited on the unsuspecting comrades. I mean, I just picture every, so far every man that's been mentioned, it just seems like a complete fake character. So what happened was, no, a guy, a guy went into work. He's a cop. You went into work and he's like clearly Swedish. And he and they're like, what's up with the way that it's a bonus like this for the bird. And now it's in the paper.

And yeah, but that's what we have to listen to this guy. He's got a telescope and a case for it. Yeah, every man in this newspaper, on his third identity and is running out of names and identities and this guy isn't even in Swedish, he's just saying words that sound Swedish to him. It seriously feels like a disguised store just opened up in Des Moines and so now they're just all like my brother died Saturday like I am here to tell you about the vanke Shombalin gotoomba I am here to tell you about the vanke Shombalin gotoomba!

So very big storm, huh? Circus rings for Shriners show will be constructed this week. Shriners circus is a thing that is still around kind of, right? Is it? Well, I think isn't it's like hospitals for kids are thinking like that i feel like there's a connection i really do maybe i'm crazy keep sure yeah this is probably for kids i would have i would imagine real sure enough sawdust will be used on the floor of the big coliseum when the

shrenners put their big circus put on the big that's a maker breakers yeah I was it's a maker breakers I don't know I mean they're just using a regular foot no they're sawdustin e-gads will be there real sawdust not just real sawdust not the fact that we've collected from passing men they're kind of shaking their past like one yeah yeah it's not shittysake.

It's oddest. It's the real, it's the real McCoy. Shriners was Shriners Hospital and the circus are connected. Oh, they are. Really? How are they connected? To many line attacks? I think, I don't know, but they definitely

have stopped the circuses because of the cruelty to animals. Yeah, it's so... Shriner's whole world is not something I've ever... Yeah, I mean, I never look into it. Got into, but it's just one of these normalized things here, Alice, where it's like, you know, Shriner's like helps sick-held stuff like that. But it's all weird dudes. That's how I picture it, old weird things. Yeah, but it's those little like, they wear those little, uh, fuzz hats.

Yeah, it's all cool. The thing, everything I'm saying right now, if I'm you, I'm like, what the fuck is this man talking about? It is, I'm- Well, it's Connie's who turned their hands to like child medicine? I think the medicine is After is medicine after what seeing a lion get kicked like they've they've handed in the Ability you just did a better job was bottom lining it tonight

And I'm not saying yours is great, but mine was a real assault. Mine was not okay. So I'll put it in this perspective. There's all these groups that have formed around America years ago and essentially they have said we're charity groups. So we're these older rich guys who do charity work. In this case, they're putting on circuses for kids, but they also moved into hospitals. But really what it is is just an excuse for a bunch of old guys to get together and drink.

Oh, good. That's the better end of the sentence than what I thought it was going to be. Yeah, that's what they always do. Good excuse for a bunch of old guys to get near children. Yeah, that's what you would do. Yeah, that's where your brain goes for sure when you hear a bunch of old men. Yeah. What do all of our enterprises have in common? Yeah, right. Okay, wait, sorry, it's even fucking crazy. So the circus, the Shriner's circus circus patrons were misled into believing the proceeds from the circus benefit the hospitals. but if you look closely on the circus advertisements tickets made it clear the proceeds maintain the shrinner temples building

past half salaries and fun parties and other activities i told you all day i just like every cult is about musting children every old guy group that does charities about parting that's all it is But I mean at least the hospital is getting run. I understand that your country has zero safety net as far as like a health And we like it Well, that's how we like it you get sick. We like a bit of danger on the street like Sorry that hey, sorry, you don't like a bad boy country, but we like a bit of danger This kind of this country is essentially like if it were a man who had a gunshot wound and it was bleeding out, but put sunglasses on like, what's up?

You're dying, he's like, nah nah, I'm number one. A small army of working men will be put to work in the Coliseum. Come here and sit on my chest, wind. I'm going to have some good stuff and bleeding. Yeah. A small army of working men will be put to work in the Coliseum next Saturday night, taking up the portable floor which is used for skating and they will place approximately 200 loads of dirt on the cement floor.

The dirt will be spread to a depth of six inches over a space of 150 feet long and 75 feet. So let me just say why this is happening, this description, this is farm, farm territory. So this is like farmers are like holy shit. Like this is clearly written for farmers. Right. On the Serena, there will be placed 242 foot circus rings

with an elevated stage between them. Both rings and stage will be shrouded with a 16 foot track and sawdust. Real circus sawdust. It was placed over the hole. Real last time it came here. I get it. It's farmers. They're having to cut down their own trees. So they know how much labor goes into making sawdust. They have a gun. They have a gun. Make an eye sawdust production. It's just some guy going. Yes, that's what it is. Yeah. It's a guy making

sawdust with a saw. They're not even watching the circus. They're just looking at all the infrastructure Look at that log dust and then nice. I'm trying to think of like fuck is they do this? Hey Jimmy You say it six inches of dirt under there? That's right six inches and then they're tapping it with a beautiful layer of saw dust So this this heart this means that I'm trying to guess this is it if I ever saw dust I'm trying to think of what is Shittier than saw dust and I guess it's just dirt

You know what glitter. This is what it had to be you had to go to the circus and if it's just dust you're like But if it's saw dust you're like oh we can actually watch it and not like get dirt lung. Yeah, okay. Yeah The Des Moines Triners are back of The big indoor circus. They take no part in the program except the opening night when members of the Arab Patrol will give a fancy exhibition drill Oh, that sounds so outrageous. Yeah, it doesn't sound like it's good at all. Sounds like fucking. The rest of the program will be in the hands of Royal and Adams, proprietors of the show,

that's trying to sum all over the state are making arrangements to be in demoin during the circus. I need to back up to the Arab Patrol here. Like, I know there are a bunch of people who are pretending to be Arabs or Arabs. I'm gonna go ahead and say that this country would not allow. Well, I'm trying to, what's more racist, I guess?

Is it having real Arab people that were chasing or the fake, it's hard? I don't as actually I think I should just withdraw everything I'm thinking It's dangerous. I'm on a tightrope so much so that I could be in this never mind Okay, so I typed in Arab patrol Shriners. Oh, no Jesus right came it up came the Korra Shriners, which is somewhere in America. And it says, the Arab Patrol has been an active performing unit of the temple since 1892. Its mission is to become proficient in the Arab Drill and tactics to assist the illustrious potentate, potentate.

In the work of the temple, the Arab patrol takes part in parades and engages in competitions and others shrine patrols in every possible. So they look like very 1900s military air get up. It's the big pants, almost pantaloni. It's the whole, it's the Fezhat. It's the whole. It's really not what anybody should be doing. It's okay. And then there's a lot of picture of old men. Oh, it's all over. There's a petrol unit. It's all over America. Yeah. I thought you said it's all over. It's finished. Rather than it's. Yeah, there in coming incoming there. They're in every town and there

It's I don't know what's going on anymore You dug too deep Someone in a tent somewhere rubbing too much fake tan on his mouth. Yes Stretching is growing preparing Jesus Jerry Hey, there are people listening to the dollop. This is garrif. Yes, Jerry! Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif. Yes, this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake

Johnson. It's basically a call-in-advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to it. We're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August

22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. This headline is a wood taboo Klanzman show. Klanzman? Yeah, Klanzman. It is 1911. I know. Well, it would work now too. Yeah, it would work now today. Members of the Des Moines Women's Club and attorneys representing several of the

Negroes societies of the city have appealed to mayor James Hannah to prevent the staging of the Klanzman A production after the book of Thomas Dixon built to appear in the Des Moines in Des Moines in the latter part of the month Okay, so I mean this is better than I thought it was. It's a play, right? It's a terrible bat, and they're protesting against it. Excellent. I like how active, I like how politically active the three women in the stanna. Yeah, that's right.

They're very busy, very busy. They're very busy because they've all got eight husbands who are pretending to be 14 husbands. Right. Yes. Their cert, it is a riot inciting drama. Mayor Hannah referred the matter to the Department of Public Safety. It is not likely that the clansmen will be prevented.

Well, they can't because of First Amendment rights. They couldn't stop it. Following this, well, although that never stopped anybody. What am I talking about? Following the staging of the play in Des Moines in February 1907, an ordinance especially directed at the Klansman was passed. It provides that no show shall be staged which would tend to incite a race riot.

I think that's a fair wrinkle. Yeah, I think that's a fair. I think that's fair. Hey, so listen, we're not doing race, right? Place here. We don't want a race riot. No, we're not doing race, right? Uh, place here. We don't want to race right. No, we've had it. I know, I know. It's what I do. I know. Look, everything I do is meant to create enormous outrage. So you just, you, you would just rather me not even riot anymore

Yeah, when I sit down in the time right and I'm rioting my plays We're not big on it the race riots or any right? I just say at this point my people. I've been under attack for quite a while The white the white guy the play white The play white. Yeah, now you guys are having it hard I'm sorry, but this is more this is more oppression for you. You'll be okay. I Mean surely you have incitement to violence as an exception to your freedom of speech rule law, right? I know Americans go like quite wide on the on the freedom of speech their excitement to violence is a specific

Except well like you yeah, you can't like yell fire in a crowd at the theater when there's no fire, like you can't do stuff like that. I don't know if you could say, look, there's gonna be a ride if we do this, because it is a play. I don't know if that would be just- But you couldn't go into that play and shout fire. So it's a weird

crack and it will be that play will absolutely and go to this play and shout fire the play right yes yes that you are our our our laws potentially problematic but we have to help very strong, but you cannot go into a credit theater and shout fire. And then outside of that, we're like, Nazis can march.

That's, that's my favorite of America's. You have to have freedom of the press. Like we have for democracy, you're like, how is our democracy going compared to the other countries that don't have that? Because it seems like it's not going well actually. Yeah, but you're allowed to say that, Dave, which is important. Yes. Um, mod, the big mule falls in hole. Oh, my lord.

Oh, please don't get this stuff by. Oh, go ahead. I'm just, I'm like, I don't trust this paper anymore, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please, Okay, I get it. I'm working in the newsroom for this one. This is the kind of acid that doesn't have a difference between a mule and an acid. Am I right? Farm friends? Farm friends?

Is there a difference? I don't know. Farm bros. You're thinking if you get a ass hole out of it, it's marginal. Okay, 15 men required to pull animal from sewer. Ooh, it's a lot of bros. So the mule went into the sewer. Ooh, it's a lot of blows. So the mule went into the sea.

Mod, mod a big mule used by one of the street cleaning gangs, let one leg slip into a manhole at the corner of seventh and locus street, ah, this afternoon. Okay, she did it. It, she did it. Yeah, she tried her. They're not like, hey, we didn't watch the mule properly like she let whatever legs fall in. She's a dumb mule.

What about having that that hole not in the middle of the road? Yeah, also it feels like they're being very clear with the gender in this one They're like female female mule. It's a female It took the combined efforts of 15 men pulling on an impoverished harness it's already in impoverished harness i was going to say uh... yeah impoverished isn't make sense uh... pulling on an impoverished harness to left the animal should be left with the animal

before the feet was accomplished a large crowd gathered to watch the struggles of the and of the and then the story. There's that story. It's not continued on page 7, though. There's no more continuation. Wow. You know what I mean?

That's actually the first story I really want to read. I want to know. I want to know what happened to the Mule. And again, I think Garith is right here in putting his finger on the gender being being specific like if it was a male mule it would be like innocent male mule city's whole ruins perfectly manual like dumb lady horse slept in a little hole you're a beginner out it's not it's nowhere else. That's it. That's in the store.

Well, it's also a small crowd gathers, could be lifted out of pretty much anything that happens publicly. True. And this time, if anything happened, people like, we should watch this. Yeah, everybody, yeah, anything that happened, people came to watch it. Like, it was like, man, picks up rock. Well, we got to go to the next two. Yeah, there's 20 people who want to see this

yeah we know the technical definition of a crowd is two company three's a crowd and a small crowd is like what two and a half yeah yeah that's right the half man that was in the circus booster ad replies come by hundreds young men in all parts of the country would learn of Des Moines advantages. Biggest record since start of publicity campaign. Is this just a black? This is just a Des Moines flex.

This is Des Moines flex. So if you've ever been a Des Moines, one F.Y. We're not bad. In the mid 90s, I was touring colleges, me, another white comedian, and a Filipino comedian. And we went to Des Moines, and we stopped for lunch in this little local downtown restaurant. And they came out, and they put down silver, silverware for me and the white guy and plastic silverware for our Filipino friend. Yeah. DEMON! We got up and left because we couldn't believe what was happening.

Should have taken that regular knife and stabbed. Yeah. Uh, 210 replies to advertisements of the city of Taintees were I love Taintees. It's right near the Mule Hall Taintees is near the Mule Hall and right near ball city It's gonna be a misprint Taintees come on down to Taintees We got some weird it's a weird path between two fun towns, Tatees. Non-fraute tates, Des Moines. Come on down.

You, we got barbecue tates, regular tates. The City of Tatees were received by the Greater Des Moines Committee on the first mail today. This is the best record made since the advertising campaign was started last April. 190 of the letters were in response to the Saturday evening post-advertisement and 20 were from other magazines. Almost all of the inquiries were special. That is, they asked for specific information

on certain business and professional opportunities here. So they're advertising Des Moines in other papers and magazines for being a great place. But that happens here still. Like you'll be somewhere and they'll just be like a commercial that's just like Arkansas.. Check out, check out beautiful bakers feel. Yeah, like this country is so weird that it's just like, this is a state, go to here. And Australia, are they like, come to Darwin, it's fantastic.

Taz made it. They do that? They do do that. And then there's like a big one for New Zealand. And it's all, it's like that thing where if you're listening to a podcast you like and then there's a guest you like on it, you go follow their podcast. If you're in a nice city and they're advertising another city in that city, you're like, well, they couldn't be.

Maybe. They didn't advertise down, you know? Yeah, yeah. I could see, I can't, here I could see them doing it to be like, this ours is the best. A large percentage of Communications were from young men one was 24 years of age a graduate of a law school and the professor and the Precessor of ten thousand dollars which he intended to invest within a few years he Mailed he must be

He mailed life. He must be. That's like mail from. That's like mail from. He mailed from Indiana. Ooh, exotic. The Des Moines municipal advertising coupled with a speech from John McVicker at Jersey City,

caused another correspondent to write that Des Moines looks good to me. He expects to start Westward in the spring and at the present Times intends coming to certaintyville Certaintyville this man is just like a liar. So we were in Taintees and our way to certaintyville About to go to first about to go to for sure and my name

Kaiser so is it my name is man mister for sure man I'm actual human also I'm getting the sense that they think that it's a selling point for the advertisement that most of the replies are from young men and not having yet human men. Also, I'm getting the sense that they think that it's a selling point for their advertisement that most of the replies are from young men, and not having yet realized that most of the

replies are too literally everything are from young men. Yes, from everything they'll read. I'm getting this. Whoever's written these articles never been on a dating website. We need as many men as possible because we do have two women here who are very outspoken She's ridiculous. They're wearing badges. They want things. It's just not good 42% of the replies are just carefully drawn pictures of erect penises I once got after a show somebody message me on my like Facebook page back in the day and the message that he sent it was my public like Facebook page he sent a picture of

an erect penis and a thumbs up which I feel like it was just the two next to each other and I was like I feel like that's redundant like either one of those Expresses approval sufficiently you don't need to like I just Belated braces this shit. I look I'm married, but I might go on Tinder and start sending dick paintings just because of how great that would be You know that that is kind of the perfect encapsulation of a guy where I'm like It's terrible to just send it, but then it's like I can't stay mad at you. You gave it the thumbs up What do you do like see it's cool?

Yeah, it's just like good show and then that those two Yeah, it's just like good show and then that those two I just I will never get over just how many men send unsolicited dick pics. It's just the crazy thing to me It's insane. It's insane. It's insane. I wrote the close I wrote a good taste bad judgment and then I didn't see it. I didn't really catch it. I wanted to send it so badly man. Ah. A Slesinger will recover from burns. Apes, Slesinger will recover. He's going to be all right.

We'll recover from the burns about the head received at the Des Des Moines dress club fire at 10 o'clock this morning. Wow. By the way, they're making a call on recovering from the burns this morning. It's a this morning. It's a bit early. It's a bit early. I feel like it's a very good. Like we passed over the news part where the fire happened. He got burned. We're just going straight to a fine. Yeah Was this like a two-news paper a day situation? It must be more It must be a evening paper. Yeah, I can't imagine that they they would have the capability to put out two papers But you never know. Oh, no, it's called the evening Tribune

Oh, I did have an am so people are just like oh good Remember that story about a game and just had it the clothing store It looks like you may be my They might look at perhaps but A lot of the time it Around this time a lot of the papers would eat the next day repeat stories That they'd done the day before like just the exact same story. So I can't imagine, but who knows?

I mean, CNN's gotten away with it for years, just saying the same thing over and over and over again. Stop, just like sticking the time. We don't need your little fucking commentator. What? Oh. I like the idea of a paper that's like the evening paper to a morning paper that doesn't exist

just with all the punch lines And I know the setups. Yeah, just adding and to top by story that we didn't tell you about that would be a great spoof paper to put out The burns on his face and arms are painful but not serious and the lab returned to its work soon after the accident. Address Club Fire. The Demo Address Club Fire. So that's a dress club. Yeah, for sure. I've been there.

The fire was caused by a gasoline explosion in the club's cleaning room at 506 West Locust Street, but little damage resulted. It's just a gasoline explosion. It's not in the cleaning room. In the dress factory, there's just not a white burn there. They've been burnt there. There's built some grape on the, get a little of that gasoline. It takes a ride out.

So but little damage resulted, do mostly to the destruction of several suits that were being cleaned. Okay, so it's a cleaning place. Not a dress club. Sure. An Oriental rug valued at $300 was slightly. And I'll tell you what, can we just talk about the relief for once in our lives when it starts with Oriental and ends and rug on this sort of shit? Cause fucking right away, I'm like here we fucking go again.

Here we go. Here we go. Ah! Ah! The Oriental rug value at 300 was slightly damaged by being used by the firemen to stifle the flames from the blazing tank of gasoline. The proprietor of the place hastened to the rescue of the expensive blanket. It's a rug. Don't call it a blanket. Expensive. I don't know what rugs and blankets are.

I'm not sleeping well since I got this new bedding. Well, a $3,000 rug at that time is actually a lot of money. It's all right. It was valued. It was given that value by a passing man in a mustache tree. They took off once he got a miracle. He would be $300. I'm leaving two wives at a family.

I'm Andy for sure a guy for real men and uh... the next story is carpet also i think he just now decided to use carpet in the headline yager up on carpet to explain minister told ministers conditions are worse under old plan police chief george yager will be called upon.

Yeah, the headlines are terrible in this one, like they don't. That one's particularly white. Police chief George Yeager will be called upon the city council on Friday to explain statements he made last Monday in an address before demoin ministers. Councilman John McVicar presented a resolution before the council this morning, which was unanimously adopted,

directing Mr. Gagger to appear before it and state what he meant by the following alleged statement. Oh, so he said something and they wanted to clear it up. The ministers were like, you come in here, you tell us what you said, cop. I think I'm for the misleading or confusing headline, actually. I think so many of the sins of the modern age are perpetrated by people thinking they understand the whole story

from reading the headline. The main thing is, yeah, yeah. The confusing, I have no idea what this is about. Yeah, right. I agree with that. Yeah. Okay, so here's the alleged statement of Mr. Yeager. There should be a movement started in Iowa for a state home in Des Moines for young girls

who walk the streets. Conditions are worse in Des Moines in that respect than under the old red light district plan. Young girls work in stores in the daytime, walk the streets, go to chop sui places at night and pick up men, and the worst part of it is we can do nothing. That's the worst part of it. The worst part is that we can do nothing. That's the horrible part. People are having sex.

So what they do is they pick ups. That he's calling out the ministers because they broke up the red light district and now he's like, well, no, they're everywhere. They're eating Chops silly and then fucking! Like he can't, they can't handle it. Seems like there's no hero in the movement. There's no hero in this story at all. Right.

No time was devoted to the discussion of the matter this morning. It is evident, however, that the entire council is interested in Yeager's statements in that all voted in favor of McVickers' resolution. If Yeager's statements are true, then there should be something done to remedy conditions. Councilman McVickers said, all during my trip through the east, I pictured Des Moines as a clean moral city. I certainly was not aware of the fact that such conditions existed as set forth by Yeager. I was so full of this when he was like, I thought he was talking about the conditions for the poor sex workers and he's like,

no, no, no, no, that's not at all what he's, he can't do anything with it. I agree with him. He's like, because it's disgusting. You're like, oh god damn it. They're everywhere. It's like I stepped on a spider and a bunch of eggs came out of it.

Baby, it's just gross. I just like it was a man in 1911 shocked that there are sex workers out there. He's like, what? In Des Moines too? Like, yes, anywhere there's a penis, there's going to be sex workers. That's how it works. The incredibly small number of women that we've agreed are in Des Moines at this point. Like, the fact that they're working in the shops during the day and then street walking

at night. They're like multitasking ladies. I like it. Yeah, they are. Uh, Miss Dunlap surprises man. The roadside settlement was broken into early this morning by an unknown prerler. The man gained entrance through a rear window which led to the kitchen, tired hungry, the fellow sat down to a repost, which he had gleaned from the well-stocked tea closet.

But his good fortune was doomed to an untimely end. Miss Flora Dunlop, the head resident of the settlement, had returned from Su City on a night train and entered the institution as dawn was breaking hearing noises in the vicinity of the larger mistunnel up decided to investigate when a hot list man dashed past her and disappeared crazy crazy crazy we could keep going but crazy i'm not yet well we that means he's trouble is a problem that individual

is that a certainly strange enough to highlight i mean very sympathetic to the man who broken and stalled this lady's food and not so sympathetic to her who's just had like a very long night train i have in unpleasant conditions and come home to found like find like a hat was man in a pantry at the event and showed the that the culinary department had suffered

by the unexpected visit. So a guy was hungry and he broke into eat. Yeah, but also, I, listen, I, this is like, should have been wearing a hat. Yeah, should have, yeah, that's the problem. But it really does like speak to the, obviously, yes, there's hungry people they should be taking care of But if you're gonna fucking do that grab the food from the tea closet and go who's like I'm gonna get some candles out

I serve you at around the old neck find the nice cutlery and make a night of this no one's here just take the food and leave Probably here ex-husband Yeah, well it's called it's it's it's not a house It's called a roadside settlement, so it's got to be like a place where they take care of people. I think I don't know It could be wrong. Well then why is he breaking in? That seems crazy because it's late at night. There's probably rules, you know what I mean. He's probably just hungry I don't know. I'm feeling a bit good in jam guy. Let me You're further. Yeah, I'm not opposed to the

bit of a jam guy. Now that you've given him a name. I've got against him. If he were wearing a hat, I'd have nothing against him. Well, yeah, that's a very important stuff is obviously a war crime. I'd like to note for this to this podcast that both of the gentlemen involved in this podcast are wearing a hat. Well, we have legally We have to. Legally, we're getting. Especially. Legally, we have to. Diagnosis of a Welsh rare bit dream,

futile as a basis for the cure of nervous diseases. I think you're right, Alice. Like, I am like, I'm confused, and I'd like to know what's happening. Like, it's, it's, it's really, this is better clickbait than just like, Alice like I am like I'm confused and I'd like to know what's happening It's really this is better clickbait than just like 15 pictures you will believe like this to me I'm like what just happened I know the words, but I have no clue how the word combination has made a story Normal personality is not double says Dr. Quackenboes. Stop it.

For Dr. Ever. He's got Quackenboes. Quackenboes, did I have a million? I'm not a con man or a character. I'll put it on your bill, which I have as a doctor. And the value of unsuggested dreams is not to be considered seriously. Okay, this is out of New York.

If you have a soul, prepare to submit it to medical analysis. What the fuck? What a turn. Read the headline again. Normal personality. The headline headliner, the secondary headline. I won't read it with with cheese sandwich, right? Yeah, I think so, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, just to clarify, that that hasn't even existed. No, it hasn't at all. Okay. Diagnosis of a Welsh, is it rarebid or rarebid? Rarebid. Rarebid dream. Rarebid dream.

Futile as a basis for the cure of nervous diseases. And then there's the line in there is someone's gonna take your soul. Okay, it's about dreams. That's what it is. Okay. That's the key word. Oh, that means that she's sandwiched.

And then you have a bad dream. If you get a cheese sandwich, you're gonna, the devil's gonna take your soul. If the dream, you dreaming about a rare bit sandwich is not the basis. I think rabbit is kind of meat and calling a Welsh rabbit might be racist against the Welsh for not being able to afford meat, I think.

Let's have a look. Okay, well, I'm all for that. We have a guy with lost blood here and he's... If there is some, okay, I'll read the first sentence again. If you have a soul prepared to submit it to medical analysis, if there is something wrong with your digestion or your nervous system, don't tell your family physician what you ate for dinner. Just state what you dreamed last night.

At least this is the theory upon which the most novel medical ward in the world has just been established in John Hopkins hospital. Wow. That is, they're doing some really good work there, John's Hopkins. And yes, it is. Welsh rabbit is how you make fun of them for not having meat. And so it was redone as rare bit so that it's a cheese, like a cheese sandwich, you dish, cheese and bread dish. So it's a mocking the Welsh cheese sandwich. Yes.

It's mocking their lack of- They're making cheese sandwiches because they kind of would mate. Yes. Yes. So Welsh rabbit is cheese. Yes. Which sounds better to me.

Oh my God, that's amazing. I'd rather you to cheese sandwiches than some rabbit. The new department is called the Henry Phillips Psychiatric Clinic, and according to a telegraph report from Baltimore, the treatment will be based upon the assumption that every person is possessed of a conscious, conscious and a subconscious personality and that when a patient is asleep the subconscious personality is dominant It's so funny to hear things that are True, but when they're just like we have a theory that when you go to bed your subconscious takes over to them and it's like that is crazy Such stuff as dreams are made of will furnish therefore the material for diagnosis

in the case of nervous disease with which the new clinic is especially to deal. Cycle analysis will be practiced in the Johns Hopkins Hospital by Dr. Triggand Borough who has been studying this science for three years in Europe. So they're they're they're gonna they're gonna listen to your dreams and then dive knows your Mm-hmm. Drag knows what your condition is. So they're just wait wait wait. I think they're just psychiatrists Like are they not just doing like Lecanean and Freudian kind of Dream theory stuff is that is this just a very dream cops of dream theory stuff, is that, is this just a dream? A major dream cops. Yeah, they might be, yeah, you might be right, but there,

but this is the interpretation of an idiot reporter. True. I think that might be what's going on. It's funneled through a moron into the paper. I think it's actually a recipe. Oh. Ah. Ah.

The principle of the school is that their lurks in every dream often disguised a repressed wish for the fulfillment of subconscious personality. Yeah, okay, so they're just checking out dreams and trying to decipher dreams as to what's going on in your life, which is fairly common today, but they've wrapped this in a bunch of shit because they don't know what's going on. Yeah. It's nascent. All right.

Oh yeah. And the cheese sandwich has not played any role other than just a bit of sort of casual sideline. Yeah. Yeah. The cheese. The cheese sandwich is nothing to do with this. They just, the reporter just decided I'll take a swipe at the Welsh here.

Just free associating with the idea of bad dreams because it's kind of like scatting. He's like, she sandwiched and you subcats. In a way that might be very revealing if the psychiatrist were to analyze it perhaps. It might actually be a dream. Yeah, it just goes on and on about dreams, but that's basically

the report. Even articles about dreams are uninteresting and go on and on. It's like what someone tells you the dream. How do you feel about your Welsh mother? Yeah. Hmm. Hmm. She's asking you, Garith. Oh, I can little league i'm working on that in another podcast oh here's more care for the news family row in british court rau you asshole it is stated that it has definitely decided that the dowager queen Alexandra will not attend the coronation of her son king george

oh shit sparsan bif will not attend the coronation of her son, King George. Oh, shit. It's per se. Beef. So yeah, now we actually have some meat. Almost immediately after the funeral of King Edward, rumors of friction between the Dowager, why are the colon of the Dowager queen? And because she no longer is title of the queen, but she retains her own title,

but the Dowager means that she was married to the king But she no longer has the crown So yeah, David I've maintained the title because it would be like too harsh and like soul destroying to have it taken away from you At an advanced age just because your husband happened to die But you have the Dowager and then you move into like the Dowager estate and stuff to die, but you have the Dowager and then you move into like the Dowager estate and stuff. Oh my God. Yeah, it's like how when you put on that captain's hat when you get drunk on rum and you want

everyone to call you captain. And when we told you that that's out of hand and out of line, it's not. It's like how you call ex-presidents presidents, right? You guys still cool. Yeah, well, one of them, one of them, one of them, one of them is Trump. One of them we just called Donald Trump. Every Donald Trump every other one like ex-president and future president Donald Trump yeah so almost immediately after the funeral king abuor buramers affixion between the dour jacquijn and queen marie began to

circulate in london these will destroy you can't hold a position in the judiciary over the age of 75? Well, how do you, I mean, how do you even, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you,

how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, how do you, country. Yes. Very. Your country has decided like, oh, people get old and then they're not the same anymore. Like that's yeah, but have you ever seen your leaders have putting for brains?

Counterpoint. Counterpoint. Carat that is ageism. No, I'm saying I like it. I like what they don't know what they did. I want a judge who can only communicate by blinking. I mean, we really are living in like a 90s comedy called like... Senior government where you're like,

What happened if you get a picture of a... People with brain issues from age. I'm sorry. I voted nay! You didn't vote at all! What on didn vote on what what are we voting on I don't vote senators I mean a part of I feel like part of the problem not to apply on on a country that isn't my own But I feel like part of the problem is like the cult of personality where they all have to like have like fun quirky diets They'll have to be like models from the 90s to pretend that they only eat hamburgers

or another of them are actually looking after themselves. So it's like, another of them are like, I do 40 push ups a day and eat a healthy balanced diet. They're all like, I only eat the cheese from the town I grew up in and just drink it. I eat rare bit. Joe Biden's got this cool thing he does now where he's just, he's still trying to say the kind of,

you know, like he used to be like, hey, listen, guy. And like people were like, he's young, but where he's just he's still trying to say like the kind of you know like he used to be like hey listen guy and like people are like he's young but now he's so old that he says it where he's just like hey come on come on Jack I got I'm a come on Jackie think I'm too old I look at too old as I got wrote a book on how to have a lesson and everyone's like what is that make that me? No, I haven't said something. Yeah. The worst thing was like 10 years ago, a pharmacist who serves a lot of the congress people was like, I give out a lot of Alzheimer's medicines to congress.

Wow. And everyone's like, that's fine. We'll ignore that. Yeah. OK, so these rumors, of course, never got into print in the English newspapers, but they obtained wide currency nevertheless Certain actions of Queen Alexandra have since been regarded as of a character likely to try the patients of her daughter-in-law, but not of her son Very specific

Someone's leaking shit. That's what's going on here. This is like Megan Markle all over again. Yeah, it is She occupied Buckingham Palace long after what she doing offering to breastfeed him like what? She occupied Buckingham Palace long after the time when, according to custom, the King and Queen should have moved into it. She flew, especially designed large and gorgeous flag. And she issued statements in proclamation form to hear dear people. Rumors gone so far as to say that there will be two courts in London and that Queen Alexandra, she objected to the title of Queen Mother and it was dropped

aspires to outshine the wife of the suffer. It's just always been so dumb. I think this is just the Queen will not relinquish. Yeah. Yeah. Still in the palace. Come on. Yeah, I love it. I mean, I'd love it. It's better than what we have now. What do you think? One more, David?

Yeah, I'll be a little more banger. Old teacher is a wreck. Sounds fair. Yeah, I tell you say, like I get it. With his shoulders stooped, his hair and beard as white as the driven snow, and his thins, thin arms and hands trembling, GW Ryan for 40 years, an Iowa schoolteacher appeared before the insanity commissioners at the courthouse this morning who convened to inquire into his case. So he was at the courthouse this morning who convened to inquire into his case. So he was at the insanity commission.

He's been brought in front of the insanity commission. What's he done? The old teachers whose last charge was the office of principal of the red oak schools was the object of pity and sympathy this morning. I am just completely broken down. the old man faltered as he wear these dots to the chair. Get him out of here. As he weirdly dropped into his into a chair in the sheriff's office.

Yeah, he's just told for three years that a boy's private school was going to catch a 27. He's going to call it teacher, yeah. I was all right until this come upon me. I guess I'm through. His fine-shaped head dropped toward his breast while his eyes stared vacantly far away looking them. He'll be taken to Clarenta Hospital.

Oh, my God. She's gone, man. He's so fucking sad.arenta Hospital. Oh my gosh. So fucking just a teacher who broke down. He's just old and done. He's like, I can't anymore. And they're putting him into a home. But it's not an art country. He would be the Senate Majority Leader. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Yeah, there's just this is just so sometimes the papers are just little tiny blerbs. It's just like a one sentence Anyhow the Pittsburgh girl who fasted 10 days in vain to cure her blindness is being spared the sight of a city old city

Okay, you thought The eight days you'll have blindness because she thought what she had hamburgers in front of her eyes like what it's it's a rip on how dirty Pittsburgh is I was using a blind girl So the blind girl like help me be not blind and they're like you don't want to see Pittsburgh sucked No, no, I'm looking for any possible care. I didn't eat for eight days like well. I'm jealous of you I wouldn't want to look at this downtown dirty as shit There's so much dust in this town. There should be a circus upon it Awful awful. Oh, I wonder if their blind girl exists

Yeah, she might not have exist although they are talking about her so they probably there probably was a blind girl She tried to cheer blindness by fasting. She probably asked her parents. Like did they did the article come out? She's like, yeah, yeah. We read it to me. She's like, uh, it says blind girl close to cure. Um, that's it.

I guess that's it. I guess they did most of it in the morning and we can't get that version. It's good to know that it's like maniac maniac, intermittent fasting influences were already active then. Yeah, the problem was she was in ketosis. Yeah. Let's show this thing. Let's show this thing. Let's show this moderate health benefits over the long term

and pretend it cures literally everything. Hey, how's that article on the blind girl curing herself? Pretty good. Do you have a read? I did. I think maybe we just make it shit on Pittsburgh. I just... I added a twist.

Does she live in Pittsburgh? No. She did not know that, though. Have you been there? It is dog shit. That's how it should not exist. So I think that's our angle. Well, I spent like a week embedded with the family trying to tell them that I would spread their message.

Yeah, good for you. She seems like a week embedded with the family trying to tell them that I would spread their message. Yeah, good for you She seems like a cute kid, but goddamn my father-in-law lives at Pittsburgh. I won't go back. It is a fuel It is disgusting Jesus Christ shit spurg Boy cute kid. Well, Alice. thank you for joining us on this podcast. We appreciate it. Why don't you say your Patreon again for the Book Club and all your own in your podcast.

When your podcast is extremely fun and strange, it's a great time. Thank you. The podcast is the Google. The patreon is patreon.com slash Alice Fraser and if you got an unbound.com and writing Alice Fraser, you'll get access to my book, which is called the Dancing Lagarde Reader, but don't try writing the Dancing Lagarde Reader, you will not spell it correctly. I didn't spell it correctly the first time I wrote it and I wrote it.

So there you go. That's a pull. That's a good indicator. This is for you make up a name that you think is the funniest name that you could say out loud. And then you write it in a way that is just meant to entertain you. And then all of a sudden, it's going to be well. It's a stupid joke and now I'm a book. Yeah, a book deal. Yeah. Well, thank you again for joining us.

And like we always say on the past times, Dave, one, two, three, we're living in the times! Thanks everybody. I don't say that. Yeah, well we should start maybe. I like the kind of rhythm of that. I like it. Go ahead. Thank you very much.

Thank you. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. You'll miss me honey. Choose business, not boring, with programs ranging from fashion to finance, culinary to commerce, or golf to global business. We deliver business education at its best, with authentic work integrated learning experiences

that launch future entrepreneurs, business leaders, and global citizens. Come to Open House on November 18th and see everything we have to offer. Apply now at Humber.ca slash business.