The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 476 - The Manure Pile

Episode Date: April 13, 2021

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine The Ladies Health Protective Association and the manure pile.Source - The Ladies' Health Protective Association: Lay Lawyers and Urban Cause Law...yering by Felice BatlanTour DatesRedbubble Merch

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Starting point is 00:00:42 bilingual American History podcast. Each week I do a story from American history to my friend. You've got no idea what the topic is going to be about. They said it couldn't be done that fast. That's momentum. That's dollop momentum. That's do-mentum. The thing is we're gonna carry that energy straight into the podcast. We're gonna come out so fucking hot. I'm gonna actually need a break. I'm that really really level. I got this. I'll read the story to myself. I'll react. I'll do the whole thing. You take a break. I'll do. I'm gonna go a nap and I'll have a sandwich near me for the nap. Let me let me just give
Starting point is 00:01:22 an example of how I'm gonna. This this will be me. I'm gonna do your part. Dave. Okay. Sure. Dave. Dave. Oh I thought you were. Okay. No. No. Well this is. What. I feel like I have more. Come on. That's not a thing. That I do say. But it wasn't. Who does that. Yeah. What. How are we. Is this ever gonna end. It never stops. That's very good. This is why we are not changing. Come on you guys. Let's all love each other. Let's kill cats. Fuck. I mean that's how you end every podcast. I had few notes but after what you just said I have no notes. And called it quote is jam-packed. Jam-packed. I'm the fucking hippo guy. Dave okay. My name's Gary. My name's
Starting point is 00:02:24 Gary. Wait. Is it for fun. And this is not gonna come to Tick-A-Lick Podcast. Okay. This is like an an a five-part coefficient. My room's a place. Now hit him with the puppy. You both present that. Sick arguments. No sleep though hippo. That's like a hippo. Action partner. Hi Gary. No. I sleep done my friend. No. No. Ronda. Ronda in the car. We're doing a tour of Australia in October. You can go to the dollarpodcast.com to click on the tour page and you can find a link there. And then after that USA. Start it up again. We're coming for you. Just want to say please only come if you're vaccinated. We'll see what the world looks like then. And we'll be in Perth Adelaide, Sydney, Brisbane, Melbourne, Canberra and New Zealand. 1884. Year of our
Starting point is 00:03:29 Lord Jesus Christ. Wow. Someone's getting ready for help, dollop. Made it good. In 1884, Beekman Place was a small neighborhood in the upper 40s to low 50s on the east side of Manhattan. Okay. At this time it had, it was basically what we would call gentrified. Okay. So there's rich and there's poor. There's immigrants and long time New Yorkers living in the area. Fancy townhouses, tenements, brownstones. So it's kind of got a mix of stuff. Sure. It's a nice area with good views, but the big drawback was it was right next to the slaughterhouse district, which is a very explanatory name of what went on there. I tell you, I'm getting the good feels so far. I know you're always like, can we have another slaughterhouse
Starting point is 00:04:29 episode? Walk me through jerking. Would you guy? You know, jerky isn't the way people think the cows. It's a special type of cow. That's that's a dry cow. No, they have dehydrated calves. Yeah. And so that's how they're born. So thirsty. Oh, he's gonna make good teriyaki jerky right there. When there's slaughterhouses around, there's a bunch of businesses associated with slaughterhouses, right? Sure. This was referred to as the nuisance district. Great. That's okay. Between between 39th and 47th Street, there were 44 slaughterhouses. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Whoa, Jack. Whoa, Jack. What 26 hide yards, three cattle yards, four head butcher shops. I don't a garbage. Are these miniature? How big are they? A garbage
Starting point is 00:05:32 dump, 11 rendering businesses, two butter factories, three olio margin factories, four tallow businesses, one blood drying factory. I'm the only one in town. Get your blood dried. Get your blood dried, sick of it being wet. We make jerky blood. Step out in here, sir. We're drying blood right now. Two for one, two for one. Come on. Come lick some of the flakes. This is dried blood. Come have some blood flakes. Oh, you like wet blood? You're not gonna like it anymore. Dry that blood, sir. Come on, get it on here. Dry, dry blood. So you can eat as much blood as you normally drink, sir. And then a boneyard for just the bones and then one huge manure dump. Oh my God. What the fuck did this area smell like?
Starting point is 00:06:27 It's not good. I mean, it just, ugh. It's not good. How is there, how many streets did you say that was not that many streets? That was like 13 streets? Uh, so 39th to 47th. So you're talking eight streets. I mean, what the, what, what, how, how is there so much in that spot? Well, it was just how it worked. I mean, do they know what a house is? Like, it's not a slaughterhouse. These are like slaughter duplexes, slaughter apartments. Slaughter apartments. Yeah, that's what. The abattoir? It's like an apartment building. You get a really cheap slaughter apartment there for like 300 a month. But you had to kill one cow a day. I just can't, and then that just seems like a crazy amount of stuff for that
Starting point is 00:07:18 amount of space. No, for sure it is. I mean, so the entire, that entire zone is just fully devoted to. But there's tons, there's people living there too. And then, you know, the area we're talking about is a tiny bit. Where, where are they living under bones? Where's the room to live? Well, the area we're talking about is right on the edge of it, starting on the 47th up to the low fifties is where we're talking. So then there's houses right next to it, which is great, which is great. My Lord. So the manure dump was the cause of some serious smell. I mean, the smell, and then you add manure. Yeah. When the winds shifted and blew towards Beekman Place, the smell of manure became overwhelming. And
Starting point is 00:08:06 that's always a good feeling. Like, you know, when you're driving and you're like, keep those windows down. This is heaven on earth. I mean, we all know there's a place on the five when you go north between Los Angeles, where it's like, it's like the smell sticks to you. Yeah, you forget about it on the drive up and the drive back, you're like, get ready. Get those windows up. And so I imagine it was just like this all the time. So you eventually you're probably just like, we don't even smell it anymore. Well, for 10 years until 1883, there had been one city board of health president, but then he was replaced in 1884. And then things got worse in 1884. And by November, the manure smell was worse than ever. Good.
Starting point is 00:08:53 And so the people who had gotten used to it were like, well, now it's I can't deal. Right. Okay. So the people who were walking around basically with shit in their nose for a decade, we're like, you could smell it again. In a horrible way. So they couldn't open windows in their apartments. Families were worried it was making them sick. There's a fire. Don't you open that window? So then leave that shut. So then so which gentrification comes people that like move in and go, well, now I want to change everything. So, you know, but this is for the good. So there's 11 middle class women. And they get together one day in a living room to talk about the horrific smell. And members of their families had headaches
Starting point is 00:09:41 and nausea. Kids weren't eating there. And they're also worried about cholera and typhoid germs from you know, living yeah, right. So the women go out to check out the neighborhood to locate exactly where this horrific smelling is coming from. So their mission, fun mission, fun mission when you got to go out and bloodhound where the manure is coming from Debbie. Oh, it smells even more like shit. We're getting closer girls move closer. Oh God, it really you would must be near it. How are you everyone? Crawl, steal, crawl yourselves. The worst it smells the closest we are to the finish line of the mission. Three of us are dead. Well, push through. We won't be able to smell them anyway. I will smell anything. I don't smell
Starting point is 00:10:34 anything at all. Kathy can't smell the new leaders among us. Kathy, it's great. Finish mission. My eyes are burning. Kathy, we're not gonna make it. I'm fine. Girls, you want to skip? My hair came off. I'm fine. Let's go. Ears, ears dropped. Ears dropped. I'm fine. I'm gonna do a little jig. And so they find and they're also escorted by a cop on this walk, which I don't really understand. Oh, officer, we're looking for the place that smells like the most shit. Oh, follow me. Follow me, ma'am. Follow me, ma'am. And they find the source. It's an enormous manure dump. The New York, the New York Tribune headline quote, big man place ladies aroused. Well, this is how you describe finding a big, what
Starting point is 00:11:50 why did they fetishize? They make it sound like scab. I think a bunch of ladies turned up to a big pile of shit and got all turned on. Can't stop fucking. So much manure around. So the playboy explains that this dump is known as Cain's manure heap. I'm putting your name on it. We got to get my name up there. Big print, too. Let him know this is Cain's poo. It's about 20,000 tons, covers two city blocks, and in some places is 30 feet high. Oh, my God, it's Jurassic Park. Oh, God. So I mean, really, you are just, I mean, yes, of course it's misery. You're living around just the biggest pile of shit. You just live near it. Is there anything else we should know before we move in? Well, the only thing is that you
Starting point is 00:12:54 live in America's largest poop. This is the poop district. What? This is poop town. No, you're in the heart of poop here. Now you got Broadway a little ways up that way. Everybody loves Broadway. You guys like shows. That's fantastic. And if you're hungry, you got little Italy right over there. Yeah, the park's not too far away. A lot of activities. I don't know if your kids like to play streetball. A lot of the kids do. But if they do play streetball, it will be very hard for them to do it for a while again, because you live next to an enormous pile of shit. Wait, what? So the first month last month is a must security deposit. We do half and then upon inspection, it will be returned and don't open your windows
Starting point is 00:13:41 because again, next door is a 30 foot tall pile of shit. Okay. All right. That's why the rent's low. Oh, yeah. And look at the gorgeous place of steel. You think I'd sell it for this much? I could have lived here. I tried to for a while, but my wife just said she doesn't like living in a hunk of shit. And that's what's next door to here. You can see it. Open your blinds. Look at that. Who's the lady out in the street with no hair and no ears? That's Kathy. Kathy led a bunch of the women to this pile on a mission. Six of them passed. And Kathy just sort of jigs there now. She can't smell it, though her eyes have fallen out, so we don't really know what's happening. Okay. Anyway, good luck. Thank you. And oh, if you like dried blood,
Starting point is 00:14:38 there's a great place close. Oh, thank you. So it's owned by Michael Cain, who happened to be... Oh, it was a... No need for me to get such an enormous pile of shit. Quite a huge pile of shit. Make sure my name's on the bloody sign. So everyone knows this is Michael Cain's shit. You're such a great actor. You really want to... Yeah, of course I do. That's Michael Cain's shit. Thank you. So he's a super connected manure pile owner. He's a manure... He's a manure baron. He's a... He's a baron. No, I'm not okay with it. So no, we're not... No, we don't get to combine those terms. Okay, ready? You don't get to be a... You ready? I'm the manure baron. Has anyone seen Batman? He makes $300,000 a year, which would be $8 million a year today off of his manure pile.
Starting point is 00:15:44 Then he's... He's a baron. It's just not... No, you don't want to... Okay. I'm King manure. It's not helping. So he would collect it from stables, sign contracts with stables all over New York, and then bring it to his manure pile, and then sell it as fertilizer to farmers. Obviously, there's a ton of manure being made every day because horses are the only mode of transportation. I mean, okay, I would just imagine... Yeah, there's tons of... I would just imagine there's no... There's nowhere there's more shit than there. Yeah. Than this area of town. And I mean, we had that episode a long time ago with Ronnie Chang about just how gross New York
Starting point is 00:16:31 was, but it's just like... I mean, there's just horse shit everywhere. Like, it's just... It's in the streets. It's just, you know. So the women decide to create a women's club called the Ladies Health Protective Association. Okay. And they now have picked up some more. They have 15 members. And their goal is to protect the people living in the neighborhood. Sure. They declared that the manure pile was not healthy and constituted a nuisance. Yes. That seems fair. Right? Now, this is very deliberate legal wording because a nuisance, you can get something labeled a nuisance in court, and then that puts them into a different category. You can get it removed or whatever else. It's like, it's a public nuisance. It's against the people's health. And so it... Once that
Starting point is 00:17:34 happens, it's actually something could be done. So they got this because they consulted with a reformer, Felix Adler, who had founded the ethical culture group. And he... So he told them, used this legal wording. He was sort of helping them out. Okay. So Adler came out and backed the women, saying they were courageous. And the association then went to the New York DA to bring a nuisance suit against Cain's manure pile. Okay. And the DA is like, okay. He tells them... Nuisance suit is just a great term, by the way. Oh, it's the best. Yeah. So the DA tells them, he convened a grand jury, but the women would have to come up with a strong case. Now, I don't know why he didn't want to do it himself. Right. But he's going to have them present
Starting point is 00:18:25 information. He probably didn't want to go around the manure. But this is also really weird for the time because women aren't... They're not allowed on the bar. They're not... They don't have a role in courtrooms. They're not allowed in courtrooms, really. I mean, they can go in courtrooms, but usually it's as what? They have a prostitution charge against them. They're getting a divorce. Like, it's not... It's not a... Respected women don't go to court, basically. Right. Well, wouldn't you just... I mean, but if someone came to you and was like, we need help on this case, try to get rid of all this manure. You'd be like, you know what? Why don't you guys go on the fact-finding mission? I'll hang back. Bring me the information.
Starting point is 00:19:06 You know? And they'd be like, well, is it okay? We're women. It's like, for this it is. For this, it's okay. For this, it feels okay to me. Yeah. I mean, that could be it. Yeah. And women aren't allowed on the bar. Like, they're just not... It's not a thing. They don't have a place in court. So, Kane's manure pile had been there for 10 years. Everyone knew it was one of the sources for the east side smell. The east side smell. Also, newspapers had started writing about the smell coming from the manure pile since the beginning of November. So, it had really picked up. Now, that's because summer comes, the manure pile starts through the summer, things start rotting. And then,
Starting point is 00:19:47 by November, it's just a nightmarish. Oh, God almighty. It's like living like a Flintstone. So, papers are not questioning, like, could this be a source for cholera? Like, you know... Is there any health implication for only inhaling shit all day? Do we know? Kane had been a dietit a few times over the years for maintaining a nuisance, but he always was able to avoid a trial. It's not my fault. He's connected. His brother-in-law is a state senator. Okay. Oh, there we go. And he's also super rich. So, he's just connected. He's connected with Tammany Hall. He's connected. He's just connected. Right. The Department of Health, which had been formed in 1866, pretty much ignored the manure hill pile.
Starting point is 00:20:35 Now, they would sometimes do stuff, like I said, he had been cited and indicted a few times. So, they weren't doing stuff, but really mostly leaving alone. And everyone thinks it's because he's connected. Right. But the odor, it's now just intolerable. And it had been since the president of the board changed. Now, Charles F. Chandler had been the president of the Board of Health from 73 to 83, but then he got booted out. Charles quote, it was the action I took against those yards that lost me the presidency of the board for the men connected with the manure business are rich and have a strong political backing. So, they, he can't take down big manure? That's exactly right. He would not want to get there in bed with big poo.
Starting point is 00:21:29 Not only could he not take them down, I mean, they get, they, they got rid of it. Yeah, he was ousted. Yeah. So, the new guy who's brought in, you guys brought in is backed by Tammany Hall and other wealthy manure barons. Okay. So, now, so now they've got their guy. Now, they got their, they got their manure pond in there. Yeah, right. The manure pond. Yeah. And the women know what they're up against. One neighbor, sorry, one paper reported founder Mathilda went quote, my husband and many other gentlemen in the neighborhood are so taken up with politics that they do not care to interfere in the business as I understand the owner of the yard has a strong political backing. They quietly tell their wives that the ladies had better take
Starting point is 00:22:20 them out or up, not a very savory business for ladies you will allow. It's like, I just can't imagine. I just can't imagine like not being like, well, what are you going to do? Like, I just be like, it's awful. What are you talking? I'd be like, this is all we need to do. There's the, I mean, this would be like, this would be like climate change in your neighborhood. You'd be like, this is the only issue that matters. There's no existence without getting rid of this entire pile of manure. But it's so it's like the, the, the men who she's talking about, the husbands or whatever, have to, have to live in this world of politics in which they have to deal with Tammany Hall. So they don't want to upset Tammany Hall by going against the giant
Starting point is 00:23:03 two block long manure pile. So they push their women to do it, even though it's not a good business for the ladies to be in. It's just, it's like, it is like what I was alluding to her. I mean, it's just the only time that they believe in women and women's empowerment is when they're like, honey, why don't you go figure out how to get this shit out of here? It's like, you've never asked me to do anything before. This feels like a job for you. Go down there with your sticky friends and see what you can do. Rattle the cage. Their husbands backed them. Matilda's husband actually wrote a letter about the smell to the board of health, but he got no response. So then he just published it in a newspaper.
Starting point is 00:23:45 Okay. So even though these are like men's areas, right? Supposedly the women had to take up the fight, despite how just gross it was. And they that is really, that really is remarkable. It really is. It really is. So they note that Keen has been under political pressure before, quote, he had several indictments holding over him, which had always been pigeonholed. And he thought this one would travel the same road. But it was this, but it was his first experience with women. And he did not realize what that meant. That's amazing. Yeah. The ladies are coming for you, bro. And he's just like, yeah, he doesn't. Yeah. I don't fear them at all. I don't worry about ladies or I'm concerned with in my big poll of manure. There was also a weird situation
Starting point is 00:24:38 with the board of health and the New York state legislature. So the legislature gave the board of health the power to issue permits for manure storage. Okay. Well, okay. And Keen applied, but the board didn't actually give out any permits to him, to anybody. Okay. So the board, that meant the board could be in violation of the state legislation because they allowed it because they weren't, they were supposed to give out permits and they weren't giving out permits and it was happening. So it might be unconstitutional. So because of this, the board of health claimed it couldn't bring nuisance suits or the big permit issue about unconstitutionality would come up. So the, so, I mean, so the board is essentially just like any politician where they're like,
Starting point is 00:25:44 it's bad for us so we can't do it even though it's what we should be doing. Yeah. And it's also like a good like, well, we don't want to do that because that'll bring up the bigger thing. You know what, let's just not do anything. That gets us in trouble if they figure out that we've been on not following the constitution you see. So enjoy your home of poo. I mean, really, really, they just don't, no one wants, no one wants the responsibility. No one wants the... It's like anything else where if it's not in your backyard, you're like, just live with it. I mean, I remember hearing about that with Siracha. Do you remember that? Oh yeah, the Siracha factory. The Siracha factory and people were like, we can't breathe our eyes
Starting point is 00:26:22 and we were, everyone in every other city was like, tell you what, that's Siracha is pretty good stuff. They're like, no, but literally my daughter's eyes and we're like, it's just, it's so good. There's no sugar in it. What am I supposed to have my eggs with nothing? What are you talking about? I'm sorry about your daughter's eyes. Sorry about your eyes. These eggs are amazing. Hey, I hear you. Your daughter's eyes are burning. You know what else is burning? My taste buds, because they are loving it. Yeah, that's the Siracha should have turned that into an ad campaign. These people are suffering so much, but we know you love it. The New York Herald interviewed the president of the board of health about the manure pile
Starting point is 00:27:10 and asked him how such piles could have come to exist in the first place. I mean, I mean, just think of the, this is, it is ludicrous to have the paper be like, how did we get so much poop there? Was that crazy? Like it's just, what are we talking about? And the president said, quote, this is a very perplexing question. There are stuff to know. There are marked differences of opinion as to the healthfulness of manure. As far as Cain's pile, he said he had inspected it, quote, it was full of manure. Oh, I checked it top to bottom. That thing's all, that's all manure. It's shit. I dove in it. I swam around it for a little while. I snorkeled it. He's not kidding around. I don't know what
Starting point is 00:27:59 we're looking for underneath it because what would you be hiding under those piles of shit? But it is pure shit. I can't, while doing this, you know, I just put manure into my search and was reading old newspapers and I found like three or four instances of, and the body was hidden under a manure pile. Oh, that's great. That would be a good one. Because it would hide the smell, right? Well, and also you're like, look, it's not soil. You want to find it. You got to go looking. Yeah. So quote, it was full manure, but I cannot say it was offensive. We have always looked upon manure as inoffensive in wintertime. I cannot say yet what course the board will pursue. Yeah. So yeah, just basically saying, yeah, you're just like, I don't smell it. So
Starting point is 00:28:45 it's not, some people think it's a landmark. Some people say they like it more than the Statue of Liberty. But I love that at the beginning, he's like, I don't know, it could be healthy. It might not be. There's a bunch of people have different opinions on that. I'll tell you what I know for sure. I'll tell you what I know for sure. It's not bad in the winter. I'll see you everyone later. Thank you so much. That's the end. No more follow-ups. Absolutely not. That's the end of it. Of course he said that because it's late November. Like he's like, yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. It's a winter. You're not going to worry about it. It's going to freeze. Kids will skate on it. They'll sled on it. Let's talk about the spring.
Starting point is 00:29:16 So he says the board's not going to do anything, but all of a sudden the board finds out, well, there's a grand jury that's about to happen. And so then the board jumps in and has a meeting. They meet on the November 25th. This does not stand on my watch. That's exactly what happened. They have, they call a meeting to supposedly talk about Mr. Wendt's letter that he had published in the paper, not the women's thing. No, no, no. And the board orders Cain to remove all the manure. They're like, get rid of it all. But that's kind of what they supposedly did at the end of every winter anyway, but whatever. So Cain's been here before. He's had, he's had shit come down on like this. And I kept it. His manure pot wasn't just politically connected, but also part of the economy.
Starting point is 00:30:05 So stables need horseshit removed every day. It wasn't just remove. If it wasn't removed quickly, it stinks, which would stick up the area around the stable, which is where people live. Also, farmers need fertilizer. And at the same time, the farmers didn't like the canes of the world, don't like the manure barons, who they saw as manure speculators jacking up the price of what should be free. I just, I mean, what is going on? It's just very strict. I mean, it's just like the, I mean, it's oil, like it's oil. I mean, really, everything you're saying is oil, but it's manure. So people are like, I've always resented people who get rich off of shit. I mean, a manure baron. And about 150 people who lived in tenements nearby
Starting point is 00:31:03 worked at the manure dump. And they were known as manure men. Well, time for, let's rebrand them soon. Son, you are going to be a manure man, just like your grandfather and your father. It's who we are. We're shit people. We've always been shit people. What? I was thinking I could get a job in the city, work on the work in the newspaper industry. You're better than your old man, huh? No, sir. You're a shit person. We're shit people. Okay. It's just that it seems like you don't like your life because you always talk about how bad it smells and how the smell never leaves you. Mom doesn't seem like she's into it. So I just think maybe I go to write poems or something.
Starting point is 00:31:51 What? I could just be a poem. You know what that smell is? That's a smell of a hard day's work. Yeah, yeah. It's awful. I don't think you get that from poetry. I wrote one about you. Do you want to hear it? Yeah. Unfortunately, I do. I want to hear. It's a long pause. It did seem like you wanted to. Well, I was waiting for it to come. Well, it's just it would be nice if when I asked you that question, if instead of just sort of glaring out the window with a sulk, you just went, yeah, I want to hear it. Well, I don't want to. I don't want to hear it, but I know I have to. Well, no, to be honest, I don't want to read it anymore. Just sort of.
Starting point is 00:32:33 No, read the poem. No, son, son, son. Ah, you're right. Maybe I'll just work in poop. I think you're lying about the poem. I think you're lying. It's crazy to accuse someone of that. It's really good too. And it's deep and it's good. And it rhymes and it's about you. But no, you know, you blew it. It's really good. It rhymes. Every part runs. It actually rhymes in the middle too. So it's not just the end. It's like some big, big cane. Well, now I'm really interested. As you should be. You should be peaked. But unfortunately, father, maybe from this point
Starting point is 00:33:06 forward, you'll learn that when someone asks you a question, answer them. Okay, don't just sit there and sulk. Yeah, you're shit people and you're starting at the manure dump tomorrow, even though you're not going to hear the poem. So it doesn't matter. I don't care. I don't want to hear the poem anymore. I want to watch you work and shit. It's perfect. So on top of all this, real estate prices around the manure pile were being affected. One woman said housing prices have been cut in half. Newspapers are writing about the falling real estate prices.
Starting point is 00:33:45 And, you know, just manure piles don't go great with gentrification. Like people aren't like or anything. Yeah. So one paper is very upset with the DA that he's setting up a grand jury and that the that they said the association had, quote, invaded the district attorney's office. What association? The the women's association. Oh, okay. So this guy, I feel like he doesn't want to deal with this. Really? They just they just didn't want women getting involved in any area of the law. Yeah. But like they did. And then when it became a thing, then they were like, enough, enough, enough, enough, enough, enough. You had your fun. Well, they they really didn't.
Starting point is 00:34:34 I think most people didn't. I think most people didn't want women getting involved in the area of the law because women, like I said, didn't appear in court that often, not not in a respectable way. And this this made it if it was successful, it would seem like, oh, my God, women can do this job too, which is the ultimate nightmare, isn't it? Right. Right. Yep. That's probably I mean, they probably got a hint of that when they were like searching for it. They were like, that's pretty good. So they should stop. We should stop them. So 13 of the women attended the grand jury at least three, at least three that we know have testified. One said the odors were quote, perfectly frightful and simply unendurable. She she called the pile a quote,
Starting point is 00:35:17 I'm going to go for a jog, hon. Sucking it in. She called the pile a quote, dreadful, frightful suffering. The pile. It's just it's crazy. And she described what she saw at the dub quote, an immense heap of manure, steaming and fermenting in the sun. Oh, my God, I can't I can't believe how good your impression of me at the beginning of this episode was for this episode. I mean, oh, Jesus, God. She said it made her sick in her home. I didn't mean, lady. Yeah. All right. All right. I know. Jesus. Good Lord. We get it. It sucks. As it did. As it did other families nearby, including the taught taught months, children.
Starting point is 00:36:10 One woman gave the jury a written report that documented the Association's observations. A newspaper wrote that the report was wrapped in a quote, lovely bow. Well, I didn't even listen to much of what they wrote in there today, but I will tell you as far as wrapping a statement, it's as cute as it got. That bow was perfectly tight and it even had those little twizzly stringer parts where they must have used a knife or something on the edge. I love that. He did it right. It was unbelievable. Again, as far as the substance, not sure. I was caught up at looking at the woman's gloves and wondering what she was doing in a room of this nature. It's just so strange to see a woman in a courtroom. But again, they went out for a while
Starting point is 00:36:53 and it seemed like they were talking a lot, but I was just fixated on the bow. I mean, wow, they really know how to do it. I gotta say, to me, it felt like watching the women in the courtroom. It felt like watching a pony surf. You know, it like it's fascinating to watch. It felt fun for a moment, but then I was terrified something was going to happen to them. And frankly, all of us. Yes. But essentially by making this report, the women were positioning themselves as experts, like they went out and made this really big report. Now, male witnesses didn't seem to be as upset as the women. One clergyman said, local residents... Is that because of what you were alluding to before, that they are a little bit in fear of the baron and his money? I think that he just
Starting point is 00:37:44 bought people off. Okay, gotcha. A clergyman said local residents had grown accustomed to the smells and that the actual worst smells came from the slaughterhouses in different places where water stagnated. Also, he said, the shanties. The shanties smell fucking horrible. I love... It's like, look, yes, the shit smells, but the rotting water and the shanties is also terrible. There were plenty of people who testified sort of pro manure piles. I mean, I've been a little happier since it all showed up. Quality of life's increased. One man testified the dump would not lead to an epidemic of any diseases. Oh, good lord. Are we going to go back down this road? Are we going to sit here and say you having shit all around you is bad and can make you sick? Are we going to go down this
Starting point is 00:38:38 fantasy world again? Collar is good for you. Another said Cain's employees were very healthy and one even said manure was not at all bad for your health. A rep from the health department said the manure was very good during the winter, all good there, but during the summer Cain was supposed to remove the manure and he went on to say that when he had been a kid, he spent some time in the country and his family had a manure heap right outside the dining room window and the smell didn't upset him at all. I actually enjoy eating around an open pile of waste. To me, that's the only way to enjoy a good steak. I mean, I've had it without and sure it's a good cut, but personally, if there's not a big, big pile of open excrement sitting beside me, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:39:35 just don't feel right. Same goes with eating and sleeping, sex honestly. I can't get it done in the bedroom unless nearby there's an open bag of duty. It's very German of you. Yeah, my parents are German. So the week before the grand jury, the association had gone house to house, getting women to sign their petitions. Hi, where would the poo census? Hello, would you like to sign our petition that is against poo? It's actually a poo-tition. So this just caused more women to join the association and then at the trial, they presented the petitions signed by hundreds of neighborhood women demanding the dump be removed. One newspaper called the petitions quote, the ladies paper. Okay, sure. Again, there we are.
Starting point is 00:40:38 And boy, was it beautiful. Oh, the edges. I think there was glitter on some of it. In this hypothetical world where they, I love how they keep going like, in the winter, it's fine. It's like, yeah, there's other seasons. What is this, what is Michael Cain supposed to do with his enormous pile of manure in the other seasons? Are they thinking that they just sort of glacier it off into the ocean for a little while? Well, yeah, that's something I could never quite, I mean, at one point, yeah, he's supposed to move it out of the city. Where? I mean, where do you like? Well, to a country place, like... So, basically, I mean, it is just a ludicrous ask.
Starting point is 00:41:22 And that's why it can't happen because they don't enforce it because it's bullshit, but also horseshit. But also the reality is that, I mean, you know, if you're gonna, if you're not gonna move your 20,000 tons of poop back into the city for the winter. Yeah, no, it's a total, it's obvious, just a ridiculous rule that they've come up with. Right. And then what happens every year is they leave it there in the winter, and then summer comes, and they go, oh, yeah, yeah, he has to move it in the winter, and then winter comes. He doesn't. Oh, yeah, yeah, he has to move it, and then winter comes, and they forget about it,
Starting point is 00:41:57 right? I mean, that just seems to be what they're doing here. Thank you, David. So, Mrs. Want, who is now the head of the association, decided they should hold a meeting to express their opinions. So, besides just the court, the grand jury, they're now publicly trying to, you know, sway a opinion. And it works. As it should. Cain was indicted by the grand jury for maintaining a public nuisance because, quote, thousands of tons of manure have been deposited and had been allowed to remain there
Starting point is 00:42:32 all summer. This is not the last you've heard of. Oh, my. That's right. The grand jury also censured the Board of Health for neglect. Sure. And Cain was arrested and posted a thousand-dollar bond. Okay, okay. After the verdict, a newspaper wrote of the Women's Association, quote, we thought the grand jury would take hold of this matter vigorously after it had been
Starting point is 00:42:59 shrewdly put into the hands of the handsomest and most talkative ladies. Oh, wow. God, what? They just can't. It's like it's a given. Like, they just, they, it's just, it's like, may as well already be in the article and then you start writing. It's just incredible.
Starting point is 00:43:20 The women really figured it out. They had dresses on. I mean, yeah. Whenever I was to continue the quote, whatever a presentment is desired from the grand jury, the parties will do well to discard lawyers and entrust their cases to ladies with pretty faces and sharp tongues. Okay, this guy is like, yeah, that's right. It's just incredible.
Starting point is 00:43:43 We need pretty ladies to do it. So the President of the Board of Health said removing the manure just created more problems, quote, if the accumulation of manure at a wharf is offensive and unhealthy, how much worse would the state of things be if the manure was permitted to accumulate in the thousands of stables throughout the city? This, this is climate, this is climate change. This is the more climate change. This is exactly what it is.
Starting point is 00:44:10 It's just like we have a huge pile of shit that's ruining everything and they're like, well, I'm not sure it doesn't seem like there's a good alternative though. And if there is, it's going to be costly. It's like, get the shit out of here. He said the board would stop the manure piles, but if no one was going to take the manure from the stables, someone's, someone's going to have to come up with a solution. Now, this is a, which we've just been going on forever in America. This is, is a public service going to take care of it?
Starting point is 00:44:41 Or he's saying what private enterprise is going to come up with an answer? There we go. There we go. Yeah. And he said, well, Dave, I mean, leave, leave the government. out of stuff like this for sure. Well, that's not what they're there for. They're there for, you know, they're just other reasons.
Starting point is 00:44:56 Let's not get into it. Another board of health officials said that since there wasn't a public system for manure, it was in the hands of private businesses. One complicated complication was that farmers didn't want to buy manure that had straw in it. Okay. And that's where the last straw comes from. And that is why manure piles were left for so long. So the straw in them could rot before it was sold as fertilizer.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Oh, God. So there's rot barometers. He suggested he has a great answer. I can't wait. He suggested that stable hands should separate the straw from manure before it was taken away. Well, that is obviously a horrific job to give to, you know, that's when he's just like, ladies, do you want to come back over here, join the conversation again?
Starting point is 00:45:47 We were actually talking about getting you involved in the movement again. And yes, it's a movement. But that makes sense to me. That makes more sense to me. Having someone sift through the poop for straw versus. Yeah, but no, because you're a dude who works in a stable and they're part of like a union. They have a brotherhood.
Starting point is 00:46:06 I'm not saying it's great. And then all of a sudden people come to you and go, hey, part of your job. And so, you know, you've been shoveling it. Well, now you're going to pick pick through it with your hands. Oh, cool. I'm a sorter. That's you just got to give it a fancy title like an Amazon. Kane's state senator brother-in-law tried to get the board of health to issue a permit
Starting point is 00:46:27 for a manure dump at East 97th Street. So he's clearly trying to move the dump to another place, which is, by the way, if you're in a neighborhood and you see Kane real estate shopping and you see him sort of gesturing like with big hand like big hand motions to represent like piles. And he's sort of like, like, looks like he's talking about mountains to someone. You need to get out there fast and shut it down. He argued, quote, the neighborhood was sparsely settled and that the
Starting point is 00:46:58 institutions on Ward's Island would not suffer in consequences. Oh, well, yes. Oh, God bless them for that conviction. And this is at a board of health meeting that he did this. And the senator wanted the board of health to know he was not appearing as a friend of Michael Kane, but instead the, quote, D strict. And it is it is in the newspaper. Printed as D E E S T R I C T in D Street.
Starting point is 00:47:27 Yes. So they're saying he has some kind of accent, right? And they just throw that in there from the D street. Where the hell's he from? I don't know. Come on, which, which D strict is your from? So do you come to my D street? See my street? Come to have the home near the D strict.
Starting point is 00:47:54 Strict. Yeah, no, we get it. Sit down. Yes. See it down. As he's speaking to the board, a delegation from the livery stable keepers association arrives and backs him up and they say they needed a place to put manure and had a contract with Kane to remove it.
Starting point is 00:48:17 So Kane had to remove it. And instead of the board going, yeah, okay. The board told the livery stable keepers that they should probably sue Kane. Okay. Well, okay. Wow. I mean, can't we just ask the horses to stop shitting until we've resolved this? That's the answer. And then some guy from Silicon Valley. I've invented shitless horses.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I mean, they shit, but they shit somewhere else. And then we find out that actually what he's done is he's invented another horse that just eats shit and eventually wait a minute, this pill does nothing. This guy just has other horses eating it. Yeah, we figured out if you starve horses long enough, they'll eat their own shit. So trust me, it's a great if this man a billion dollars from us. Newspapers continue to report on the corruption and point out cholera is running rampant in France.
Starting point is 00:49:12 And that usually means it's coming to the US in a little bit. And giant piles of shit might not be the greatest idea to have around. And so this is a this is a very long quote for the New York Times, but it seems relevant to, I don't know, our world today. These corrupt politicians are not content with taking people's money. They would even take the lives of citizens. They are not content with depriving the city of good government by their corrupt combinations. They would also deprive it of the means of defense against the world's most terrible
Starting point is 00:49:47 and deadly plague. How long will the people endure a government so completely controlled by ignorant and unscrupulous political jobbers that even its health department, that should be free now from political influences as it was for years in the past, fails to protect their health and their lives because politicians say that sanitary work shall not be done. Oh, just like reading the New York Times today. It's really weird. That's crazy. I mean, that that is so depressing.
Starting point is 00:50:22 That's so depressing. I mean, it really is. It's like, you know, I just I think the part of the game is making you feel like things are changing forever and nothing is. Well, it's interesting because that that wouldn't that's an indictment of the system, right? This is 1885. Yeah, 1885. It's an indictment of the system if nothing has changed in that area. It's the it is complete. Yeah. I mean, what do you you know? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Some point. I mean, essentially, like we've just been dealing with the same shit pile since then and going like, why is it going to stop smelling? Yeah. So the actual trial against Cain began in December. Right. So the grand jury happened. They indict him. Now the trial is happening. The papers covered the women as much as the trial. Their appearance is reported on what they wore, wraps, silk dresses, seal skin, velvet bonnets. And of course, their brilliant eyes, small feet and pretty face.
Starting point is 00:51:22 So it's just like he covered the trial. Yes, totally. Who are you? Excuse me. Who are you wearing? Sorry, I don't mean to interrupt. Is that seal? Quote, symphonies and brown and yellow and glorious harmonies in green and gold. Oh, what is going on? Like, if you were an editor, you were like, look, just write about the trial, Andy. Well, I just thought I was having a little fun. There's some women there. So you know how hard that is to write.
Starting point is 00:51:49 I would write about the trial, but this one woman had the smallest, cutest feet and on them were beautiful shoes. Yeah, but this whole thing is just four pages of feet foot stuff. No, maybe you should come down and see what I'm talking about because it's just cover the trial. I am. Just cover the trial. No, you're not. Just cover the trial. One lady had a boa. Just start talking about what's happening in the trial. Yeah, I am. She and another one.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Not about the what? No, no, no, no, no, but not about the most beautiful dress. The most beautiful dress. It's not about the dress. It's not about the dress. Brilliant blue eyes. You wouldn't believe it. You would not believe the eyes. Just I don't care. Sparkling like diamonds. What happened? Let me ask you this. What happened today in the court? Oh, the actual. No, no, no. Let me be clear, because I can already tell how quickly you're having answered that I don't like it. What happened as far as the actual case within the case?
Starting point is 00:52:43 What were the things happening within the case? The case, the case with Michael with Kane. That's the case I'm talking about. Okay, so on the witness stand. Thank you. This woman gets up. Who? And she has the most alabaster skin. The what? Just beautiful skin. You wouldn't believe. What did she tell? What did they ask her? What did they ask her about? Her hat. What did they ask?
Starting point is 00:53:08 Just slightly. What did she talk about? What did they ask her? A little rabbit on top. What did they say to her? What did they say to her? That I didn't get. Well, that's what I'm asking for. I don't care if she had a rabbit on her head. I mean, it's a little wild sure. But what I care about is what happened. What did she say? Stop writing. Listen to me. Stop writing about what the women are wearing
Starting point is 00:53:31 and start to tell me what is happening in the court. Do you understand? This is day five of this. Yeah. Please make this adjustment. So silk dresses. What the fuck are you doing? Are in a courtroom is not something I've been a court reporter for a long time, and I have never seen this many silk dresses.
Starting point is 00:53:58 I'm just like, buffalo, like it is just amazing. I'll come down tomorrow. You're going to love it. I'm honestly excited to see some of the outfits. With that reporting there, they're solidifying that the women are middle class, very feminine. Like they're really driving that point home. I don't know if they're doing it on a conscious effort, but they're doing it.
Starting point is 00:54:27 And that, I mean, that makes a difference with the powers that be. It's not poor. It's not poor people doing this. Gotcha. OK, OK. It's women of influence, right? Gotcha. Right. Right. Because so then they have a slight opinion. Yes, but they also, but they also, some also reported on that this is a ground
Starting point is 00:54:50 breaking, breaking movement. It's some are calling it a revolution or a feminine crusade. Like people are seeing it for what it is. Right. One article explained that they were very unhappy, that the women were very unhappy, that the DA was dismissing certain jurors. So they're like giving them credit for like having knowledge and understanding the process. Some are.
Starting point is 00:55:09 Right, right. OK. Women are not usually in court, as I said, and certainly not like this. Since they weren't lawyers or judges, they were often prostitution charges or for a divorce. Never a good reason. So now these ladies are there for a good reason, but where to put them? We've invented a caging system for you ladies and we will stack you like bricks. Does that make sense? Yes, we just want to be careful.
Starting point is 00:55:41 So they were put into a seating section that was usually reserved for lawyers, but this meant that a bunch of lawyers who were there had to leave the courtroom because there weren't enough seats. Had to leave because they couldn't sit down. Well, there was no room for them. Like they had their seats. Then the women came in and they're like, you guys got to go. And they're like, well, no, but we're men.
Starting point is 00:56:03 Excuse me, I'm a man. Yeah, that sort of sounds like hockey shifts. Yeah, I mean, sort of women are women aren't allowed to join the bar in New York. And that adds to this debate. So and many newspapers because of this physical thing that happened are clearly concerned that women could end up replacing male lawyers. Like it's like, because they go, I mean, literally they literally uprooted men got kicked out. Like it's like, oh, this is what we were telling you was going to happen.
Starting point is 00:56:33 And it isn't just, I mean, the level of paranoia constantly just, I mean, I mean, it's what happens when you hold power forever. Yeah, you're like, yeah, all mine. Yeah, Cain, Senator, State Senator, brother-in-law. Senator Cullen was in the courtroom. Also people who wait, sorry, sorry. Senator Cullen's at the manure trial. Cullen.
Starting point is 00:56:55 Okay, better. Also people who lived in the tenements came to show support for Cain. And then a bunch of lawyers and judges came because there would be women doing court business, and they just wanted to see what that would be like. Wow, so creepy. I mean, just so weird. Just go into Lenny and squigging in the court and you're a judge. Oh, look at them.
Starting point is 00:57:23 So health officers testify, one in the Times quote, swore that the dump was the source of all the objectionable stenches and that the slaughterhouses in the vicinity did not exhale bad odors as they were kept in a good sanitary condition. Okay. So now what's happening is the trial is occurring and people who support different industries are trying to say the smell is only from that industry. So the first guy's a health board guy, a health officer, and he clearly is like, well, let's throw the manure guy out and we'll raise up the slaughterhouses.
Starting point is 00:58:10 He's like, there's no smells coming from the slaughterhouses. Those things are awesome, but the shit pile is bad. It's terrible. It's actually hard for us to kill animals. It's so strong. Another health officer called the odors frightful. Then a butcher came and testified that the odor was offensive, but that it wasn't from the slaughterhouses.
Starting point is 00:58:31 He said it was a combination of the manure dump and the fat boiling places, which quote, mixed badly. So he's just, he's like, no, the slaughterhouses are great. It's the fat, it's the fat places and the, and the shit place. It's the combination of the fat places in the poop pile. But would it, I mean, to me, if you're putting on, like, if I can only get rid of one smell, like if we play that game show for this time and place, the manure would be my number one. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:08 I think shit was the worst thing. Yeah. So, I mean, so they're, even though they're probably fudging it, it's like, it's still, it's just like, I mean, you'd be like, I, I look forward to the days when I could complain about the slaughterhouse smell. But again, the slaughterhouses smells like death. So it's not a great. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:23 It's not good. I mean, believe me, I would hate it, but I, you know, I feel like. The shit smells really horrifying. And it's got, it's just bad smell. It's bad. The ex-president of the board of health testified that odors coming out of the sewers did not harm people because the sewers were well aired by manholes. Well, they're fooled by manholes as well.
Starting point is 00:59:47 You can see a lot of great logic coming together. 10. Oh yeah. And nothing to do with the sewers. The sewers are delightful playgrounds. 10 women from the association testified and they told of the horrific odors and how Cain let them manure rot and Ms. Went said she sometimes had to walk uptown on the evenings to get away from the sickening smell and when she went to find the source, she did it
Starting point is 01:00:12 quote by following her nose. I'm a toucan, but I'm like a poocan. I'm a toucan from manure. I'm poocan. All 10 women testified to gay were getting headaches and feeling nauseous. And then, then. What color is your lipstick, ma'am? Sorry, I don't mean to object.
Starting point is 01:00:36 I refuse to believe that you couldn't walk that far. You got lovely games. It is unbelievable to have a woman in a coat of law Cain's attorney then takes over. He was Al Jernon Sullivan and he argued that Cain's manure dump was protected by law and posed absolutely no danger to public health. Good Lord enough. Also, I mean, there's so much, there's so much bullshit in this courtroom. We can't, but I probably can't smell through here.
Starting point is 01:01:05 There's more bullshit in this room than there's horseshit in my car. There's horseshit in my client's yard. He also said manure, manure dumps were just part of city living and there was no way to avoid them. That's life in the city. I mean, God, how many of us grew up around a pyramid of poo? It's a shared experience. The hospital where I was born in was caked in manure. Good, let's write a passage.
Starting point is 01:01:32 It's who we are. We're shit people. We're the shit people. Embrace our history. This is tradition. Quote, the only complaints against Cain are the ladies of Beekman Hill. He went on to say that the women were confused because the odor source wasn't even the manure dump and manure dumps were necessary.
Starting point is 01:01:59 I would argue that women don't smell from their noses. He then attacked the women, saying the association was made up of women with, quote, dainty noses. Wow, he really is going there. I mean, come on. The woman's nose is weaker than the man's nose and that's not even scientifically disputed. He said Cain was following the law as understood by, quote, all men of common sense. Man of common sense. Man, men just understand that there should be giant piles of manure.
Starting point is 01:02:34 We just know that. I mean, couldn't the ladies decide to not be bothered by it like men? I mean, what are we going to do, ladies? Move the shit somewhere else? Think about it. Let's look. Ludacris Premis, where are we going to take it? And by the way, it's fine in winter.
Starting point is 01:02:53 I mean, how many more times do we have to say it? That's a quarter of all the seasons. So he's trying to paint them as rich, unreasonable women, unlike the many reasonable men who just enjoyed manure. Right, of course. That's why, yeah, it's not called womanor. It's manor, manor, manor. So they had witnesses for the defense. One was dentist Joseph Conway, who lived on 45th Street.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Oh, God. And he testified that he chose to live. I mean, he lives because the slaughterhouse and everything, that nuisance area, goes up to 47th. So he lives in the area. He's living in it. Right. And he testifies that he chose to live where the odors are, and sometimes would go to the dump when it was steaming to inhale the vapors. This is just, I mean, this is just crazy.
Starting point is 01:03:45 So what have they given this fucking turncoat dentist? What? I mean, come on, buddy, this is being written down. Like, this is why you don't do this. This is over, you know, over 100 years later, and we are talking about this guy who came into a court and was just like, well, to be quite honest, actually, when I'm feeling a little stressed out, I go down there and really suck it in, you know, inhale the shit. That feels good. Ooh, it's like a release.
Starting point is 01:04:11 To me, it's like a hookah. It's a puka. The Times quote, he was certain that his thought was benefited by the, benefited by the operation. I've had many breakthroughs mentally when inhaling the poop pile. Do you understand? Many breakthroughs. And in dentistry, you need to be inspired. I mean, that's how we come up with a lot of these tools.
Starting point is 01:04:34 Actually, you know, this little mirror here that allows me to see back behind some of your other teeth? Well, I came up with this when I fell in the pile of shit. Well, fell, jumped in. Sometimes I go down there for a little swim. I'll do a lap or two through. Just to relax myself. I think it's great for the skin. I love it for my skin.
Starting point is 01:04:55 But also just have breakthroughs and escape for a minute. Now, by the way, when I come back, I've never seen my wife, Randy, or I walk in that door and she's like, Ooh, what's that scent on you? Get to the bed. And then I do. And then, yeah, I spread the manure around the sheets a little bit, but that's okay. She likes it. We like it.
Starting point is 01:05:15 We choose to live here. We live in history. As a matter of fact, I hope Cain franchises. It builds a few more around here. Let's really get that stench going. Huh? I see him as the Willy Wonka of feces. Poople.
Starting point is 01:05:33 Power to the poople. By the way, I'm doing two for one fillings. If you come down, you pay for one. You get two done. And anyway, sorry, you were going to say something. I just wanted to get in a plug real quick. Just let the people know. And by the way, yes, the window will be open and so will your mouth.
Starting point is 01:05:55 Come on in, get a mouthful of shit. Let's do this. He told the court that he had a sore throat, so he went down to the manure pile and inhaled the vapors, and that's how he got rid of his sore throat. Cleared it right up and did. Not much it can't clear up. I had a sephilitic penis. The poo pile, next thing you know, not only did it shake the syphilis, my dick was two inches longer.
Starting point is 01:06:17 There's not much it can't do. Honestly, sometimes I go down there and talk to it like an oracle. Just tell it my problems and ask it for advice. And it spits back some pretty interesting shit. And I don't mean physical shit. I mean knowledge. But also shit comes out of it. Truth be told, when I said I had a wife before, I was, well, I was embellishing a bit.
Starting point is 01:06:39 What I do have is a woman I've clayed out of a big thing of poo and put in a kiln. I have a manure wife, and she's unbelievable. And when I go home, sometimes after swimming in the manure, asking her questions and having to cure my ailments, I make sweet, sweet love to my manure lady. So... By the way, right now if you come on down, we are doing a molar removal. Go ahead. I feel like you're no longer helping the defense.
Starting point is 01:07:08 I forgot actually who I'm here for, to be honest. I've been talking so much. I don't even...the whole setup has sort of been lost. I don't even know anymore, but go ahead. I apologize. You've been talking seven hours about... The whole thing about how you don't make snowmen, you make poo men in the winter. It's really been one of the most disturbing...
Starting point is 01:07:27 Well, to be fair, the smell is not as bad in the winter. I don't know if we've covered that in the trial at all, but that should be put in the record. But most of this can be stricken for the record. I'm just a passionate dentist who loves his poo pile. If they rented apartments inside of it, you best believe I'd be signing a lease or two. That's where my office would be. Top penthouse, too, right on top of it. Right on top of the poo pile.
Starting point is 01:07:49 How is your dentist business doing? It's not good. I mean, when you talk about having people come in the door, that's not happening. Right. Yeah. So that's... But if you come on down, we're doing two-for-one feelings. Did I mention that?
Starting point is 01:08:02 Yeah. Yeah, we're doing that a bunch. So, come on down. Okay. Yeah. Thanks for your testimony. It was really... Most of this is a blackout to me.
Starting point is 01:08:13 I actually have a lot of memory problems. I'm not sure what that's due to, but I'm down there inhaling poop about four or five hours a day. Yeah, it's like the Red Sea. It's just good for you. Yeah. Good to meet everybody. Thank you. Other people testified that the odors were from the slaughterhouses and the sewers,
Starting point is 01:08:34 not the enormous, enormous shit pile. One called the slaughterhouses and sewers, quote, a holy terror, and don't you forget it. Oh, wait. Jesus. I mean, if you can't agree on removing an enormous pile of shit, you know what I mean? Like, what?
Starting point is 01:08:55 How are we... How is it taking so long? Like, people are like, actually, to be fair, I actually support it. It's like, what? Several livery-stable keepers testified that the odor from manure was good for your health. It's just... One, John Tracy, said lawyers, politicians, and judges came to his stable to get a nice huff of manure. Absolutely.
Starting point is 01:09:21 When asked to name one, he said, General Ulysses Grant. Is he still around? I mean, what? Can you name one person who came down to your stable to smell your shit? Sure. President Grant came. Excuse me? President Grant came and smelled the shit.
Starting point is 01:09:47 Look at his nose right down in there. I was near him and he put his nose really close to the pile. He took a big, big whiff and he said, oh, that's how we defeated the South. Yep, made a lot of sense. Another time he came in there and he put a little bit on his finger and he rubbed it in his nostrils and he said, that's for Daddy, and he winked and left. By the end, he was having me call him Pulisius. He had a jacket bedazzled with that on the back, too.
Starting point is 01:10:15 He wore it every time he came in to take a rip, which was often... They call it a rip? A rip, a huff, dart, you know what I mean? A pull, a yank, said whatever you want to call it. A huff. Excuse me, sir, may I get a tug of manure? Absolutely, sir. Just put your nose in this pile in my hand.
Starting point is 01:10:39 Oh, back to the bank! Back to the bank! Tuck, there we go, next! Sorry, I should have called the number out. 34, next! Michael Cain testified and admitted he had been fined for nuisance for the pile in the past, but he said there were no odors coming from his manure dump, but the bones, rags, and garbage at the street cleaning dump were very bad. It's a rag problem!
Starting point is 01:11:11 You know what it is? It's rags. This is not the fault of the stuff that comes out of the butthole of creatures. How could it be? That's like flour odored. You know what smells like horseshit? The rags. Those rags really stink.
Starting point is 01:11:33 That's a rag issue, 100%. So despite this really amazing defense, Cain lost and the judge ordered him to remove the manure pile in 30 days. Oh my God, yes! It's Brewster's Millions. It's Brewster's Millions. His sentence was suspended until he did so. If he didn't, he would be put in jail.
Starting point is 01:11:57 Some papers noted how unjust the decision was. Quote, in defending his case in the court, he was defending his property. The victory for health was achieved over property in this instance. That's negative? Yeah, because they're saying property is what matters. Health over property. Yeah, that's what we do. Others wrote that it was about time the tribune, quote,
Starting point is 01:12:25 should have been done long ago. The nuisance should be removed no matter what it costs. Michael Cain and he should eventually be punished for having allowed it to exist at all. So Cain reported he had removed the manure a little while later and the health department inspectors were sent and they affirmed that it had been removed. But the association still said there was a pile of manure. There's just a really big, there's a rug there, a really big rug now. And it looks like there's something under it, but we didn't check.
Starting point is 01:12:55 But the pile's gone. There's just two big rugs. Well, basically he had taken it down from 30 feet and that was like four or five feet, but it was still two blocks long. So it's still a ton of manure. The women signed affidavits for the court setting the pile was now five feet high and the judge then appointed the association to inspect the manure. So now the women are now being basically deputized by the court to oversee. So their report is going to carry more weight than the Department of Health report, basically.
Starting point is 01:13:30 Good, good, as it should. The association women put themselves into groups, which they called vigilance committees. They now had about 300 members and the committees each watched the manure pile from different areas. And they watched Cain and they watched the workers. Some didn't want to be seen and would use the telescope from far away. That would be me. Yes, they said the manure pile was getting bigger each day and took detailed notes. One noted Cain would always put a handkerchief over his nose.
Starting point is 01:14:02 So, I mean, that's unreal. Yeah, of course he would because it's great. Yes, or maybe he was, yeah, I mean, oddly enough, he was like, well, rags better. But it's just amazing that this guy's just like, I can't get rid of all this shit. And then they gave the court the affidavits documenting Cain's slow manure removal. And then at this point, Cain's brother-in-law introduced a bill in the state senate to force the Board of Health to issue a permit for a manure dump on 1st Avenue between 95th and 97th streets. That one he tried to get before that the Board of Health didn't do anything about.
Starting point is 01:14:48 Now he's trying to force the Board of Health to do it. Yeah, he's like, I'll go higher. So the Board of Health, so the association sends a bunch of women, a delegation, up to the state capital and they lobby legislators to vote against the bill and they defeat it. So no permit is granted. The women then started pressuring the Board of Health to deny every manure dumping permit in the city. They're like, no more manure dumping in the city. And there's actually things called manure vaults at this point where, yeah, I just can't.
Starting point is 01:15:22 So the Board passed a resolution. Open the vault, banker! Oh my god! That would have been the best if that's what happened to Geraldo. He opened it up. And then there was a mirror. The Board passed a resolution stating no permits would be given out. A group of women formed an association branch in Murray Hill to improve the situation in tenement houses
Starting point is 01:15:46 where open sewage and stagnant water was common in basements. Now in early February, the association reported to the court that Cain was, quote, fast removing the manure heaps. So he's finally given up. I think he's moving everything to New Jersey. I would need to look it up again. You don't need to. The judge fined him $250 and did not include a jail sentence.
Starting point is 01:16:12 And then after this, the Ladies Protective Health Association claimed victory over Cain and the Board of Health. But they were just beginning. The association continued to be experts on nuisances and sanitary conditions. And they went after slaughterhouses, tenements, and public spitting. The spitting one would be another one of its own, but they were extremely effective. That could honestly be a show where they keep tackling... I could see that at the end of it. We got rid of that pile of manure.
Starting point is 01:16:48 Good work. What's next? Spitting. The thing that's amazing to me about this is it's not that things haven't changed. It's that there are always people who will do anything for money. Anything. And the fact that you're literally arguing over whether or not a giant pile of feces is good or bad... What do we do with humans?
Starting point is 01:17:32 I don't know. The truth is that capitalism is going to kill everybody. And that's it. You can't keep expecting growth forever when it's destroying everything. You know in this situation that the majority of people are like, I actually don't like the smell of shit. And then there's the people with all the money who are making money off of the shit. And then the people who have to work have to have a job working in shit, which they don't like.
Starting point is 01:18:19 It's just like coal miners. No one wants to be a coal miner. You have to do it because you need to make money, and that's the only option. And so you have these people who work in shit, and then you have the guys with the money who are then pouring money into politicians to keep it that way. But the majority of people opposed to the giant pile of shit, obviously. It really is just... I mean it's just such a microcosm. It's just like, yeah, I mean, can we not agree that shit stinks?
Starting point is 01:18:58 I mean, how is this happening? I mean you must have just been like, wait, what do you mean there's people? They're pushing back. How are they pushing back? I mean, how do you do it? They find ways. They say a lot of shit. I mean, they do.
Starting point is 01:19:14 They just talk a lot of shit just like Cain did. But they do. They just lie. I don't know. You could argue against our system now 30 different ways. But at the end of the day, this need to continue to grow and get bigger constantly, forever, it just kills everything. So it's like, I don't know. It's the prison you're born into.
Starting point is 01:19:45 But at some point, literally, someone's just going to have to be like, we're just going to have to have a leader who's just like, yeah, we don't do it for money anymore. I mean, it's just going to have to be like that. Or it's over. So I mean, pick. I don't know what else to... I mean, it's just crazy. And instead, we're just like, well, you know, it looks like Joe Manchin's really nitpicking at the infrastructure bill. It's like, what the fuck?
Starting point is 01:20:15 What is happening? What is going on? Now we need to have more fencing. Well, we've got to fit. You're just like, oh my God. Yeah. Yeah, when I started reading into this story, I didn't even... I originally wanted to do one on the spitting.
Starting point is 01:20:32 And then I found out this is how they formed. And I was like, oh, this is a more interesting story. Because spitting is gross, but a lot of people did it. But there's just something about the number one allowing the pile of manure to get that big. I'm enlisted in what we're talking about. Right? But so then you allow this pile of manure to get that big. And then once people are like, this is really just absolutely awful.
Starting point is 01:21:00 I can't take this. And then the answer is like, well, no, it's healthy. It's not as bad as the place where they kill pigs. And you're just like... Yeah. It's just so exhausting. Now imagine being a person living that time. So you get rid of the manure pile, but then...
Starting point is 01:21:16 Well, now you have to deal with 10 other things. It's just exhausting. It's an exhausting fight to fight for what is just basically right, which is just basically correct. Like, I don't want to live near shit. It's just... It's just exhausting. In that city, yeah, in order to get the shit pile out of there, it's like pulling teeth,
Starting point is 01:21:39 which we're doing now, two for one, right now that is the shit pile. Shit pile dentist. And so this is what we now do. It's not a new pile, but it's a refinery or some other petrol thing. And that's where the people live now who are poor and can't do anything about it, and they just... Yeah, the water. I mean, the water.
Starting point is 01:22:07 The fact that we live in a society and a country now where water is like not safe. I mean, I don't know. Again, what's the plan? Figure... You can't make Kool-Aid without water. You need water. We need the water. It's very important.
Starting point is 01:22:26 We do need water. My last check was that water is good. Most things are important. I mean, it's like our existence on Earth was just like being brought into the perfect penthouse, and we're just like, let's destroy it. It really was. Yeah, we just brought in the perfect conditions for us. The perfect conditions.
Starting point is 01:22:48 And we're like, let's check up that temperature a little bit. Let's raise those oceans some, huh? Woo! Yeah, well, you know, it's easier to destroy things than it is to work with them. Yeah. I mean... It takes a lot more thought and nuance and time. It takes time and understanding to figure out how to work with something as opposed to just smashing it.
Starting point is 01:23:12 All right. Well, do you want me to read you this article about Brad Paisley and Kimberly Williams Paisley from People? Yeah, if you could. Love, family and give them back. Palate cleanser. Married 18 years, the country star in the actress opened up about the difficult moments that brought them closer while raising two sons. And why they started a free grocery store in Nashville. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 01:23:35 All right, David. Well... You know why they started a free grocery store in Nashville? Why? Because they're not taxed enough. It's true. It's nice to see... I mean, that's the thing.
Starting point is 01:23:48 It's nice to see them do something with all that money. I mean... Yeah, it's like when people are like, would Jeff Bezos gave money to... You're like, eh, no, no, don't do this. Don't do this. All right. We sign manure. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:24:01 We do. We do do.

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