The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 49 - The Past Times with Corey Ryan Forrester

Episode Date: October 27, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and returning guest comedian and podcaster Corey Ryan Forrester.  Redbubble Merch

And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb. I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. Maybe you stayed in Airbnb before and you thought to yourself this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host. All right everybody welcome to the past times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony.

I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. Cory Ryan Forrest or hi Cory how are you? Hello Garrett and Dave how are you both? Thank you so much for having me back on. I definitely didn't expect this to happen. I thought it was one and done. I thought the fans would be like no more from that hillbilly. We tried We didn't want it's the fans who clamored okay Personally, we yeah, we we I mean you know you'd be there for the first there was a lot of tension

Sexual and other one and we should we should say you pay us a thousand dollars to come that is true That is true and this is it just let's open it up to anyone who wants to be on here We are open to a thousand dollars to feed if you want to be a part of it say the goddamn word You've been mo us. That was all the money I had by the way So don't don't don't give us that sad story just because you're a dad. We're keeping it Um Well, Corey you are hilarious. Your new father, uh, we want to promote a couple of things for you. You have a book, which

is crazy. Uh, right here and over yonder. And then you also have a sub stack, which is, uh, bonus, Cory, uh, calm. That is correct. Garret on both fronts. Uh, I have a new book that I get it right. It's a, yes, I know. I listened a new book. That I get it right. It's a try. Yes, I know. I listened to the show. It's great. Yeah, it's a travel book. Round here and over yonder, I wrote it with my good buddy and comedy cohort, Trey Crouter. It's a also fantastic, very good, very talented gentleman.

And it's, yeah, it's a travel guide by two progressive hillbillies, parenthetical. Yes, that's a thing. Book companies like long titles that don't make sense. Of course. It's a, it's a fun time. We went to the UK hillbilly's abroad. That was fun. Yeah. And then I do bonus things over like I said, at bonuscory.com. Thank you for allowing me the chance to re up on that thousand dollars that I shaled out. We'll be cutting that out. It got a little lengthy. Um, but, uh, well, I will say, I, Dave has never given a guest an option to pick, um, what they want. And, and you were allowed to pick your city. And what did you pick, Cory?

I picked Chicago because, um, because I like mob things and I just, and again, he didn't tell me the year. I didn't get to pick the year. I did. He said Chicago and I was like, there's a fair chance that no matter at what point in this country, if I pick Chicago, there's going to be some mob stuff or at least a story about man falls to his death in the most gigantic a pizza, you know, and I mean, or something like that. That's possible. Yeah. De death pizza. Oh, that bit a lot. All right. Well, so all right. Well, then double down and go with your year. What you since you want to manifest, what year would you say is peak peak gangster for you? And I'm to if I can remember correctly, if I don't get this right, I have to leave.

Correct. Correct. That's how this show. Okay. This is not handled properly than the show. As as far as you know it. And we keep the thousand ends. Lee. All right. I'm going to go with 1934. Come on, 1934. I think that's pretty good. I think because it's Chicago, he's going to want, there's going to be a lot going on. So I don't think we're going to push it too late. I'm going to go right around there. I'll go 28 for shits and giggles. Is this process right rules? It is. Yes. If you go over, you are killed.

I think it's how they play it. I don't I'm it's it is that they just killed Bob Barker eventually for it. So Garret, if you were 1928, yeah, and Corey was 1934. Is that correct? Right. Wow. If you were 1928, and Cory was 1934, is that correct? Wow, one of you did much better than the other. Well, we're both close. 1927, so Cory, Cory, you killed it.

No, Dave, give me the love I need. Again, it's more, I know you've said this before, it's about the vibe. No, it's about the year. It's more than the number. It's about the year. 1927 is very 19 third. It's the 1934 of the 20s.

You can't even struggle the finish it because it's just, it's nonsense town. Okay, I guess it makes sense. If you think about it. All right, congrats. Well, at least you get to stick around. That's a good, I'm a Dave. I it good. If you think about it. All right, congrats. Well, at least you get to stick around. This is a good one.

I'm a Dave. I'm sure. That's a notebook title. I'm with Dave. Yep. This is the day that we learned Trotsky was fired by the chief board of communism. So it's exciting. It's a good day.

Trotsky got the Trotsky got shit canned for stealing toilet paper. Everybody knows that right. Yep. Yep. We flag it half mast and chicken, my Georgia where I'm from on that day. You guys take a pretty hard. We get real hard. It's a bad day. Yeah.

You're not allowed to reenact the civil war on that day in my town. That's the only day you're not allowed to, but you're not. You can't. You guys love your trotsky there. It's crazy. We do. Yeah. Napoleon's conquest in love, Baird. It's too many asses. Napoleon's lost. I'm lost. Okay, I think I think they just did not in headlines. This is a story from London. Napoleon was a conqueror with women as well as with armies. Oh nice. So there. Okay. This is Napoleon's fuck parties. Yeah.

And he recognized set rules no more in love than he did in war a newly translated book disclosures okay sounds rapy yeah fair he sounds like a naughty boy both in war and with women by that I mean he's fucking horrifying do you know that he wasn't actually a shortfeller of course you did you've talked about him a bunch on the dollop yeah he was uh he was six feet, he was actually the tallest man in Europe at the time. They went the complete way. Yeah, they really added it for him. So he was of normal height. I didn't know why they, what did they, was that just to sort of demean him or something? Yeah, PR. Yeah, there you go. PR. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was that was like, uh, yeah, that's how you've kind of

fuck with them, um, right? Yeah, thanks. Oh, it's like, you know, Trump's got small hands, Napoleon. He's a small feller. All right. We're not we had some fun with the Napoleon thing, but Trump has beautiful hands and a beautiful dong. I'm not going to sit here and let you tell you he's got a beautiful penis with a perfect end on it. He's got a tip better than a Apple B's. I got nothing, but it's nice. I hear you. We're looking out for those add dollars. I understand.

That's right. Both sides pay. Um, yeah, he was five six or five seven, which at the time was extremely normal height. Man, you got to put that in a profile. I might be not the 5.11 you're looking for, but in Napoleon's time, my height was considered quite tall. Napoleon waiting like a crouch tiger. And this is not going well so far.

I'm already not great. Nope. How was he with women? Well, you know what a crouching tiger is? You know what an animal hunting another one's life feels like? Sort of a quiet stalk. He couldn't have been that short if he has to crouch during this. You know what I'm saying? That's true. Exactly. The tiny don't crouch. They don't. And also when he has his hand in his, uh, you know, they always whack it on.

Yeah, his dick was so big that it came up into the jack. He was those who, yep. Yeah, people learn a lot from our show. Go ahead. Yeah. It's really high brow. Yeah. Napoleon waiting like a crouch tiger in a room to which the young wife of a

junior had been sent on a false mission. Hold on. The young wife of a junior had been sent on a false mission. Hold on. The young wife of a junior like is a Napoleon sent one of his, you know, his, his higher up military guys off. Right. And now his wife is alone. So Napoleon's going to crouching tiger hidden drag.

Okay. So sort of like David. Right. So like David did to Bashiba back in the days. Like, hey, you go get on the front lines I'm gonna bang your lady on top of a roof Did you just say like David did to Bashima to these? Shiba and West Coast idiots. Oh, yeah, right. Okay, so I think you're allowed to say it today

But to me it is actually an act of war. Okay, that's fine That's you think I know what you're talking about. Okay, I dare you, sir. So in the Bible, there was King David. Okay, well, can I get you back in? It's bullshit. Never happened. It never happened. It's bullshit, but it is something my pastor told me.

So now I'm thinking, why did he tell me this at seven? So there's a King David and King David used to hang out at his, well, as a castle castle because he's the king, right? And across the way he would see this beautiful lady taking a bath her name coincidentally is Bath Shiba So, you know, you can tell the stories made up. She's in the bath. What's her name Bath Shiba? She just added a Shiba to what he saw. Yeah, Bath Shiba and and that's her brother, Clark Sheba, you know, and her sister, shower lady. So anyways, David's like, I must have this woman.

And instead of just going over there and doing it, he's like, well, I'm the king. So what I'm going to find out who her husband is. She finds out he finds out who her husband is. He sends him to the front lines of the battle so that he gets killed and then David goes and has his way with Bathsheba. I've always thought he could have just asked the guy, you know, hey, I mean They're gonna send you to the front lines and plow your wife or I'm just gonna plow your wife right now And I feel like this guy would have been like you're the king. You know what I mean? Get it you get what you want I think I might want to read the Bible.

There's a lot of stuff in there. There's a lot of banging. And don't be afraid to be really aggressive on the battlefield. Really go out there, take some real stabs at this. Go for it. Go home too, actually. They're going to say three, but you just go ahead and go. You go go before anyone else.

That's they don't attack then. You sort of reset their receptor. They want to have any clue what's coming. Okay. Blue-eyed golden haired 19 year old Pauline Forz, nicknamed Belly Loat, a company to husband, a lieutenant in the bullying Egyptian campaign. Okay.

The Corsican's interest, like that of everyone else was attracted to the girl, and the bell of the French colony in Alexandria, an invitation was set to her, but not to her husband to attend an officer's dinner. Nice. I love. I like to her husband to attend an officer's dinner. Nice. I love it. I like it. Be pretty clear with what you're after. Should we go to that dinner tonight?

What dinner? You would have just invited me, would. Jesus Christ. Was he crouching? Has anyone seen if he's crouching? He was a very average height man. Does that fit the description of this man who may or may not have been crouching? He was definitely crouching at a normal height.

Napoleon made an unexpected appearance as dessert was being served. He popped out of a cake. He was a tiny guy. Yeah, but he's really crouching in there. A little armorous eyeing and sighing by the little corporal and then he retired. A cup of coffee was accidentally. The idea that little Napoleon is a good night. Very accurate to how he sounded, by the way.

I've done plenty of studies on Napoleon and like, you're the Daniel Day Lewis. That's how we came. Ba, ba, ba. A cup of coffee was accidentally spilled on Belenot's white gown. Oh no. spilled on Belolote's white gown. Oh, no, more prick. Yeah. She was consoled by General Juno Napoleon's right hand man who had spilled the coffee who told her to go to a designated room upstairs to wash out the stains. Oh, no, it was like diarrhea. Don't worry. Oh, gosh, it's okay.

Oh, you know the good news upstairs when Napoleon is not crouching in the periphery fashion. And we have a bunch of dresses. I'm just like these, huh? He has a stand room over there. He's got some believable. He's like those little tied pins, but a man. She entered the room and there's horrors. Napoleon. She entered the room and there's horrors Napoleon the the husband was disposed of by sending him on a trumped-up mission of supposed honor and importance to France.

That's Shiba. Math Shiba. Don't you motherfuckers. Read your goddamn Bible. All right, you fucking West Coast liberals. The first time read your Bibleibles been shouted on this podcast ever the rare fight air Napoleon phone level than other god damn it Napoleon phone love another time with a 15-year-old actress Georgina

okay, we're getting into some weird shit now what Right. What I was reacting. That's true. It mattered back then. Yeah. Josephine, suspecting there was something wrong, sneaked at night up to Napoleon's apartments, accompanied by a woman candle bearer. I think Napoleon apartments are in North Hollywood out here. Right.

Candle bearer, a woman being a a candle bear back then. Like that's pretty fun. Progressive for Napoleon. You know what I mean? Normally they're just the kitchen winch or, you know, they scrape the mud, but like actually holding a candle. Thank you for trusting me with such an important position. Don't spit it. They heard a noise. The candle bear frightened ran. And Josephine left in the dark, ran too. But another night, that's, that's the story. The story is they didn't see anything.

That was the story of that part of the, I keep forgetting this is in the Chicago paper for some reason. Yeah, right? Like, I was just thinking, I was like, wait, we're in Chicago, right? Like was nobody was nobody getting murdered over a pizza this day? The dreams are not this is not what you want. This is not the pay for you. So no, I mean, I'm having fun. Don't get me wrong. But yeah, must have been a slow day in Chicago to be like, and about these two deaths. Yeah. All right. It's talking about Napoleon crouching.

about these two deaths. Yeah. All right. Let's talk about Napoleon crouching. Yeah. Just big tricks of Chicago guy like the hell's going on here. Fuck the white. Get about the whole. Yeah. Yeah. The hell. But another night Napoleon fainted and Georgina screamed for help. And Josephine was the first to arrive. So Josephine is Napoleon's wife. Right. And Georgina is his mistress. So because he did not want to offend his empress or break up a happy marriage, Napoleon conducted a secret liaison with Madame Duchette. A lady in waiting to Josephine, the book says,

he used to tiptoe in his stocking feet to her apartments at St. class. Do just said peace. It is. It is. Yeah. What's her name? Dusha tail. That's right.

Dush. Like a hotel for Dusha. You got it. Yeah, this is where the term Dush came from. She was really into it. Right. My dear lady, if I'm going to stray we must fix something Please hurry up. It is clean already

I'm invented Zip a giant awash Right now it's just a cup with water on the straw but soon He used to tiptoe and his stocking feet to her apartments at St. Cloud Palace in the night. Josephine had her women's servants watch the apartments. Boy, this is, I think that's. Yeah. He did this out of respect, by the way, is what Dave said out of respect for the Empress. He set up a galley of spies. Yeah. Well, since she had people watching too, it's got a bit of a willing jade of vibe. Yeah. You're right. Like that, that was a thing back then is like the king would have, well, I know that Napoleon wasn't king, but he was very king like in his conquering and whatnot. But the king would literally have like their mistress was not like these days where like

if I had a mistress, my wife could never know. Don't tell her. But like back then, the king would have a mistress and she would actually beat not only would the wife know sometimes they were friends, she would be on the payroll, she would get like health benefits and stuff like she was just like, you know, the royal whole and she got dental and all that shit. So like, I don't, you know, I feel like I feel like they didn't color the royal whole. And they have made that up. Yeah. I don't like Don donut has one of those.

Yeah. Yes, they do. Cream cheese frosting. Oh, here's a crime one. You want a crime? Yeah. I would love a crime. That's all he want.

It's all Corey wanted. Evanston bandits get three dollars from couple. We got a bandit pair. A bandit pair. A band away. There's like $75 now a day. Yeah. So for those of you scoffing at this robbery, yeah. A bandit pair who held up two members of an Evanston bridge party early yesterday

escaped with $3, but overlooked 2,000 in bills and two diamond rings valued at 3,500. Who's robbing a bridge party? A bridge party? Oh, I just realized it's the game bridge I thought it was like we're hanging out on a bridge and I was like I love it right now idea too. I was making sure like if you're gonna like there's probably casinos back then But you're like these old folks. Yeah, they're doing a quarter a hand Make a move All right ladies give it up. What? Three dogs. God, damn it. Bridge is too classy of a game. And my trash brain went to their hanging out under a bridge, having a bridge party. Because that's what's the

thing we've done. Yeah. You know, you think it trolls. You think it troll people. Yes. And three dollars is the toll. So that makes sense that they would have that. That's right. Yeah. You're just like, Oh, cool. So they were huffing paint through a sock. A bridge party. I've been to a bridge party. Everybody splits a horse, you know, that's right. A bridge party. uh, SS Barry, a real estate broker reported to police that he and Miss A. E. Duke had been stopped by two men just after leaving a party at the home of Howard Drew. Miss Duke, he said, concealed her rings in her mouth while the thieves failed to notice the bills tucked away. Excuse me. What's a man? You don't have anything else to give us, ma'am?

Miss you she doesn't talk much sir. No, excuse me. Do you you've given us every all of your possessions and all your men? I'm sorry. You said you have what? Stowed away? Hold on a moment, hold on. All of your money? What? Hold on a moment, hold on a moment. Does she have some dental works here? Is she? Mm.

Oh, cut, did you hurt yourself? Oh, it, because you had it. But you weren't a pain prior, which is sort of, okay. All right, well, nice. Give us everything. Can I tell you something? I know y'all hate each other now, but the chemistry's still there. You know what I mean?

Y'all have a wrong story. You have a wrong story. The best part of this story is that they missed $2,000 that was, quote, tucked away in his pocketbook. So he had like, it was in his wallet. They didn't, they didn't think look at the fuck. The papers do have some heavy lifting there. The papers just tucked away in a pocket book.

It's that like it is pocket. Like is this your first robbery? That's the first place I go to. I'm doing it. We didn't even check pockets. The guys didn't even have any more. They got to remember to do that. They all say that they don't have any more money.

Gino Jesus Christ. I just thought there's been honest. They said in bridge, they was playing pretty seem like a good group. I'm willing to bet that they didn't even have any extra. It says in the fucking paper, they're too great extra. I can't believe that guy lied to me. And his wife with those ring mouths The knife

Okay, this story I had a stamp collection in my hoo ha All right grandma shut up Alright grandma, shut up. I did. That got me. He had mine. And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb. I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year

and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. Maybe you've stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host.

Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif, yes this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call-in-advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to it. We're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way,

fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. More than 50% of food waste in Toronto homes is avoidable. Learn how to make every bite count at Toronto dot C.A. Slash Food Waste. Gets birthday, missive from his dead father. Catch the birthday. What? Missle? Missive. Missive. Missive.

Okay. Violin New Jersey. It looked for a time today as though little Dickie Stevenson's seventh birthday was to be overcast with disappointment. That went down. When Dickie's father, John Stoff, it was the thirties. And not a great start. When Dickie's father, John Stevenson died in April 1926 as the result of war injuries. He left Dickie like that.

Besides that, by the way, some heavy lifting again, not for more. Some injuries due to the war. Yeah. War related injuries. You know, that was just some sort of like insurance red tape. They're like we can't say died from the war We have to say it's war related injuries war related problems. Yeah, he was shot on the battlefield It was divided to war related to Jason do a battle if you think about it

a battle if you think about it. Um, so he left it dicky besides a charming mother and a comfortable home. The promise that each year until he is 21, he will receive a letter written figuratively from beyond the grave. Oh, Jesus Christ. I'm gonna bread. I'm gonna give this letter to my local grocer in hopes that I get a ham. This is the watching on the letter plowing my mom. The letters prepared by the father before he died are held in trust by a bank and mailed on September 29th each year. I don't like it. I like I don't like it. Like it's like I love it. Listen to cover up the wound of me leaving.

I'm going to give you ghost letters. Yeah. Right. I want you to relive my death every fucking year. Yeah. I mean like you're 21 and that's a nice idea for like you're over committing like two, three years of that. All right. Yeah, kind of, but to be like, we're gonna go 15 years of this shit. I'll be honest with you. Once you've gone that long, it's sadder to stop. You know, like you should just if you're gonna do it for 10 years, you better fucking do it for 70. But then you just if you're gonna do it for 10 years you better fucking do it for 70 but then you're then you're like start to go how long you think you'll live I'm at 78

I mean I'll just keep doing hey son it's your dad I would have already died now you probably are dying soon too anyway happy birthday boy is the bank that's supposed to send these out still open? God, I hope so what a robot people like. Sorry. This is getting weird Spending pretty much all the time I have to be alive writing letters to you for when you love dad Dear son your 13 now. I'm sure you're, well, let's just say exploring your body. And I just want you to say that your dad is up here in heaven. And I am fucking watching you. You have a rag under your mattress. Dear son, you're probably at another war right now.

You should probably start pinning letters to my grandchild so that he can have them and we can repeat this process. I've spoken to my man at the bank. He knows you're coming. God bless America. Um, this would actually be a good idea if you like put stuff in like, so you're right now, you're learning how to do stuff. This is what I went through like you could do that, but that's not what, okay. Shave against the pair. Yeah. Yes, any morning, Johnny had enjoyed his ice cream and cake and that opened this

birthday package. It's named Dickey. Yeah, it says it says I left this out, but it said yesterday morning Johnny his real name like the imprennacies. So they're now they're like we call him Dickey, but his wit life for him. Super weird. but he's with life for him super weird. He's got a dickie. He's a letter from your dead dad. His father actually renamed him on letter four. Yeah, but you're now dickie. Hey, Bozo, I did it one more time.

Bozo. Hey, Bozo. I'm resin you from beyond the grave. You never had a dead dead roast. Hey, limp dick. Happy birthday, you little shit. You're 25. Go get laid. Your dad's drunk. I'm right for my deathbed. Check your mom's mouth for jewelry. Yeah. Hey, your name's Pete Davidson now. Okay.

So he'd enjoy his ice cream and cake and it opened his birthday packages when the mailman came. He left some letters, but the expected one written by his father was not among them. Oh, Jesus. The male man is new daddy. I forgot to do that year. You thought I was, I'm actually a deadbeat dad. Oh, I'm sorry. I tell you dad couldn't count. Oh my God.

What a, this is actually this is the worst policy. That is a little to write posthumous letters from the grave. The worst policy worst policies to be like your dad's done that for you only to be like The letters we don't have the letter Just shot the kid I got the letter I put it in my jacket Man, I had to kill Dicky or Johnny whatever the hell his name is because, well, a bunch of it with mail, we don't have it. Yeah.

Oh, wait. Later that afternoon, the Mama and came back with the letter. Hey, sorry. Sorry, I was just, I was just fucking with you. I'm also a trauma, trauma delivery man. Me and the boys in the post office had a laugh, you know what I mean? Yeah, you know, what are you going to do? It's funny.

My dear son, happy birthday. Try not to do anything that is not perfectly honorable. I am always watching you in spirit. Oh, God. Be diligent at school. Remember that your mother does all she can to make a fine boy of you save her worries as much as you can lots of love dad By the way my dad had no emotion and well, he treated me like a stranger. So that's watching about the letters Cory, you know how the mom's acting. Yeah. Yeah, right. She was better like see

for your new father Yeah, yeah, right. She was better like C or your new father any any Incling us to whether or not this is good or bad parenting to me. It doesn't feel like great parenting. I wouldn't do it. You know, I have been considering Writing a book that is like, you know, the very cliche like here's some rules for my son to follow in the event of my demise But like you know, he can just listen to his uncle Tony, you know, like that'll be fine. Like there's other man around here. You don't need me. By the time my kid gets older, he's going to dig up archival footage of the internet for me and go, yeah, I don't really think I need to listen to what that guy has to say.

I'm going to listen to this man. Yeah. True. It's interesting Dave. Did your dad passed away a little while ago any letters coming? Every Christmas and for my for my birthday, he sends a box with a shit in it. Spiders. Spiders. Spiders. Spiders that are just covered in shit and they're just like, I can't get out of this shit. UPS guy, I don't want, sir, I have no legally. I don't put it, throw it in the garbage. You have to throw it.

It's from a dead man, you must, it's the law. I know what, it's more poop covered spiders. I am sorry to hear about your dad, Dave, and also in serity. I hated to make his shit spider joke. Oh, you've not talked to Dave Anthony. Go ahead, Dave. He, uh, he, the sad thing about my dad is that I couldn't watch him die more. Like if he had seven or eight lives, and we could watch him die more. Like if he had seven or eight lives and we could watch him die over and over, like that would have probably helped the, the me and my sister quite a bit.

Well, he did give you a bunch of quarters, but I have a grandmother who, if I can't wait, yeah, until she dies, and I'll fill that way for sure. Yeah, yeah, people, people people over when my dad died They were like well, you're just saying that now, but you'll start to and the more time goes by I'm like, I know It's pretty good. Yeah, well good for you. You know, I did text Dave the day he said something about I go Oh, man, I'm really sorry. He's like I'm not I wish it happened a while ago

I wish it could happen again tomorrow. Yeah, I wish I could quantum leap him. I mean, they had to drag me away from pulling the plug. They were like, not yet. No, I got this. Is it now? Now? Now? I bet your iPad was low. That's what people do. Oh, here's your dad being dead fucking. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, poor one out and then slam it. Okay. Double holdups, Erk's beer seller. Sure. a first class beer flat, set a police squad, uh, oh, sorry, paid a police squad 350, he says, and kept mom, even after they carried off the hooch, another cop had sold it. This is a very Chicago sin. It's yeah, yeah, they shot their names in the wall and said, come and get us.

This is what you want. This is it. You're delivering. Oh, it gets better. But when a second squad tried to collect and made him hot under the collar. Oh, that's right. That's great. That's good.

And I was filled. How'd under the collar? Oh, I forgot about that one. Boy, I'm gonna have a hot under the collar. I'll tell you what, this guy thinks he's the bee's knees, but he doesn't know anything. Hey, and even the cats pajamas. I got a lot hot under the collar right now, boss.

Cats pajamas, I've never wondered the etymology of, you think you're the cats pajamas. And what, maybe in the past, they were like, good lord, I can't think of anything better than if a cat had pajamas. That would be living right there. I'll be honest. You had me at the beginning, but then when you ended it with that, I'm like, I mean,

that is top tier quality. I kind of taught myself out of it. Really. Yeah. Little monogrammed. Uh, he sweared an affidavit as a result of which six policemen in the film or station are suspended, charge with accepting a bribe. What? They did that back then. Yeah, I know right. I got in trouble for taking a bribe

shocking. I thought that after you became a cop, they go, okay, well, you can't officially get out into the field until you go to bribe school. You have to go learn how to take a bribe, right? This is Chicago. You're going to be taking a lot of pride. Lockman's story, according to chief Hughes, is about the most amazing and amusing volsted law exposure in Chicago for a long time. Six policemen, one carrying an axe, black men alleges rated his basement rooms near midnight on September 4th. Now I've got you one of the six exclaimed whereupon Lockman asked if he couldn't put in a fix.

One of the plane closed Ben, he says set the price at 500. Anton's all right, make it 150, one of the uniformed men interceded at that Tony Narets he hurried to his home and came back with a hundred and fifty dollars. But the plane closed man told him nothing doing three fifty is the least I'll take. I just I would the college got damn it. I went home. Why not? It's my look like eight blocks. No, now it's 350. Sorry about that. Go on. Get going hot foot Hot foot. Yeah, by the way 350 again. I hate to continue to

deflation math, but that's a shit done of money back there. It's a shit. That's literally a yearly salary to some people and a good one. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so lockman says he went back, got another 200 and handed it over to the prices five 10. And I want it in quarters. You better step off before I get more hot under the color, buddy. The color's a little hot, boy. Let my color cool off. We'll see about the prides. I'm angry. Still, the squad leader wasn't satisfied.

He ordered Anton to open a shanty in the rear of the flat. No. No. No, I want you to use these building plans and put something together. What kind of, what, I was about to say, right? I'm not wrong that a shanty is like a, a, a, not well built house that's in the middle of squalor. That's correct. I want you to build us a shitty house too. Yeah. While I'm here, I could build a good one you know no no we want a shitty one and an above ground pool with a weird deck yeah sergeant please are you all right come on I sat in a room

with paint fumes all day I want you to build me a trape no a circus that's mediocre a circus that's gonna get shut down soon I want that done by 330. I want a bunch with three legs. Don't ask questions. Just make it happen, boy. This is what I'm breakfast without eggs. That's what I'm after. So he has Anta and Anton opened the shanty and the squad helped themselves to three five gallon cans of alcohol which he had brought from a motorcycle policeman. Okay, so. Wow. He bought the booze from a cop and now other cops are stealing it from him along with the system works. It does. Keep it in house, you know. Yeah. I'd love to see a man on a motorcycle with a five gallon can of alcohol. Just like that sounds like a buster Keaton movie.

Just pray that we're really here. That's it. It was last Saturday night when the second squad driving a flipper. A flipper? I'm going to need you to use that in a sentence. Yeah, flipper. Dave's father killed himself by drinking so much that his flipper collapsed.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Ah, my daddy. Okay, flipper is just an automobile. A machine car. A machine car. Okay, well there you go. Yeah, all right. Dave wishes his dad got ran over by a flipper. Dave's

dreaded drinks so much he couldn't drive a flipper. When the second squad driving a flipper interfered with his business again, they told him we need some shoes. And he told that he needed some too. I also need shoes. That is the best. That's the best. Give us all your money. I also am looking for money.

This is where the phrase daddy needs a new pair of shoes came from. I know it. That's the best. We're looking for shoes. I'm also looking for shoes. Well, goddamn it. Get in.

Have you never been robbed before? No, I've got to find a bunch of, we need to find seven pairs of shoes soon. We all forgot them. Yeah, no, we're going to take your shoes. We'll get some. If we stick together like a good team, we can find some shoes.

Did not go to Brown College with you? Yeah. Yeah. When he insisted he was broke, they left with the parting words. All right, but we'll be back. Remember, Deaver is coming back and you may need us. We'll go make some money and we'll come rob you later. How about that? Does that sound okay?

Let us know when you have money and we'll take it. Good meeting you. That, that was too much for Anton. He went to Captain James Gleason of the film more station with a protest against the high cost of protection. His affidavit incidentally charged that he paid a total of three 40 a month to the police. Oh shit. So he was, the police are just openly the mob. Like they're like a 350 for your protection. And then it's like, well, dude, if that's the case, how do you protest that? Like, yeah, then you go to the cops. He went to the cops like, so you guys are screwing me.

Not well, we're probably not gonna work too hard on this one. Okay. I shoes, by the way. How would you like to be murdered instead? Leave. Yeah. Captain Gleason brought the affidavit with supporting testimony from Lockman's wife and daughter to chief Hughes who ordered the men suspended.

That's it. Slap on the wrist. There you go. Suspended. Not shoes, Anton. Suspended with bribe. That'll teach you. Wow. That was a nice slice of your chicac, that was good stuff. Yeah, that was good stuff. Yeah. When did the, when did the, when did the eight men out shit happen? Was that around this time? Uh, when it was 1918? Yeah.

No shit. Auto robbers make victims trade clothing. You mean flibber gangsters? This sounds like you. This sounds like the beginning of a porno. Trade clothing. Straight down. Take your clothes off.

Give them to her. You do the same. I like both of you. I like both of your clothes, but yours don't fit your frame god damn it put it on her Excuse me, what's happening? Shut up your shoulders are too broad you dumb fuck put her head on You don't have a head put your head out. You all look pretty good right now. All right. I'm out of here you heard out. You all look pretty good right now. All right, I'm out of here. What's that?

Just a really aggressive, like, fashion, uh, person, just like they go around, they see crimes against fashion. They hold guns to each other and go, Hey, fashion crimes. that's not good on your frame. Trade with him and then they just flow away. Yeah, yeah, him those. Two victims of a bandit trio were kidnapped last night and compelled to disrobe by the curtains of a touring car where they were robbed of their money and forced to dawn garments discarded by the thieves. There's a little bit of dignity to this robbery. Agreed. Is there?

Yeah, a little bit. I mean, it's a robbery, but you're like, here's a changing room. Right. And put on, and you'll put on my clothes from yesterday. They're a bit drab. But I don't want to see it. Just get one. I don't want to see anything.

I'm not a pervert. I just, like, I love your clothes. We'd love your clothes. We're going to take your clothes. Here you are. We have a changing room. And here, just put this on so we know how many items you're going away with. There you go. And can you put this in your ass? All right. That's Tony. He's actually not allowed to talk to people were robbing. Sorry about that. Tony, we're good. I would like to, I thought you said some of it wouldn't be a robbery. No, personally, invading a bunch of stuff that wasn't said by anyone.

So just kind of scoop back a little bit, we're going to take their clothes, like we said, and know where our own clothes are overalls. And no, I could see your gearing up for more talking. And we've talked about that. So that needs to not happen. We all have our own wants, desires. Well, some of us are unified in the wants, like we want to make money and have good clothes and you're asking people to put garments inside them. So totally different sport, really. Nope, don't talk.

Maybe we should ask if they would enjoy it or. If you really? There's a freedom. I know what they're gonna, well, we've talked to a few people we've robbed and they've all been pretty opposed to the, they just, you know what I mean? It's just kind of a, it's a left-fielder,

I think is what we'd call it. Did you, did you just wink? No, for it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that fella, Did you just wink? I'm for it. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, that fella. One better than over. Yeah. Give me that guy. This is my first rodeo, but I think I rodeos, you know, I am a fan of profiting off of garments, but I'm also a fan of democracy.

Therefore, unfortunately for you, sir, you have to, what, what could be more respectful than allowing another man to, to, and I'm saying it, not be kink-shamed into stuff that he enjoys. Stop turning everything. I'm Rob shaving. I'm rob shaving you. Having the freedom to experience is your. This is prime shaming.

No, this is you take this money and then you go. Just shove a scarf in your butt. It's Chicago. Okay. Your butthole might get cold. These winners here. It's the windy city. Uh, just that's why he calls it a

shawl hole. All right. Fine. Uh, so Charles Schreiner was a cost of at Wilcox and costner and obliged to exchange his trousers and coat with one of the kidnappers. A blind. He also he also lost $4. I love it. I love this robbery. Give us your clothes. Here's some extras. Another member, another member of the trio acquired a change of clothing from Morris

Yarninsky. He lost a brand new suit in 18 cents. 18 cents, that was sad. They're like, boy, things aren't good for you. Sorry, we have to do this. The clothes I would imagine are a lot more than 18 cents. Probably. Yeah, maybe.

I mean, that would be the best part if you like, you're like, this is more than what I had. Look, all right, take ours off. We're going back to original outfits. Back to original out going back to original outfits back to original out back to one and Dave we're brought to you by Airbnb I love staying at Airbnb's my buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb Maybe you stayed in Airbnb before and you thought yourself this actually seems pretty doable

Maybe my place could be an Airbnb It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work, so you could air be an bit, make some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun,

your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at airbnb.ca-host. Three, two, one, zero. The final countdown where you're on the very edge of your seat. Those very last seconds of the game is what separates the truth fans from everybody else. The truth fans are the ones who are there through everything. Every victory or defeat, agony or ecstasy. When that buzzer hits zero is when you need a Coke Zero

sugar the most, because true fans give their all. For every one timer, there's a fan cheering two times as loud. For every goalie standing on his head, there's a fan somewhere standing on their seat. For every game going into overtime, there's a fan going over the top. For every penalty, every goal, and every action packed minute of the game. When the clock hit zero, you deserve a fan going over the top. For every penalty, every goal, and every action

packed minute of the game. When the clock hit zero, you deserve a Coke Zero Sugar, the one with irresistible taste and zero sugar. Because when or lose, Coke Zero Sugar is the most refreshing way to end the game. So when the buzzer hit zero, sell it with a Coke Zero Sugar. Best Coke ever. Okay, so police to save songbirds. Hold on, say that again, police save two songbirds. Police to save songbirds. Okay, who saved them? Chief August Lula of the forest preserves police yesterday ordered his mounted men to concentrate their efforts in saving songbirds from the hunters.

I really thought like songbirds were like informants and then had but it's actually maybe it's code. Maybe but they're getting a little too deep into it like we will save them from the forest like sir we actually talking about songbirds. Yeah, I love. I definitely thought that it was not actual songbirds. I thought it was like two ladies. Yeah. So we're talking about Chicago. Of course it's actual songbirds delightful songbirds. I forgot. Oh, that's how Sheriff Augie Lulu rolls that's his deal. Oh, all you knew you save the songbirds. The birds must be saved to combat insects destruction to foliage. He says, can you imagine a time when the police were environment like environmentalists on this level in Chicago in the thirties. My God, Al Capone was alive.

But the caterpillars, they're out of control. All right, we got to save the songboids, the Boids. Oh, man, Al Capone's there. He's like, I am a little worried about the birds. Is there what? What about the bootleggers? No, just, so I woke up the other day and he didn't hear a pretty bird singing.

If the ecosystem is out of whack, there's not gonna be any legs to boot. You know what I mean? That's the whacking I'm worried about. Look, one perch down my finger, Sergeant. It's my best friend. Not too cutie. Look at my little best friend. They realize he's got like a dementia. We're a little worried about it. No worried at all. No worried at all. No proudest finger. He's got, he just spit on his finger. Look at my friend, the bird.

Okay, that's not great. All right. I'm a little worried about this guy probably should never get. Look at my friend, give it a cracker. Just kidding, the guy cracker. I don't know what's going on right now. So this headline, do you think

Savants ask, yes, says horse. I'm already I'm Dave, I'm going to give this one my Chef's Kiss of the Episode. Oh nice. This is out of Paris. Okay. Okay, sure, that makes sense. Okay, okay, sure that makes sense. Dr. Carl Crawl of Munich today showed the international Congress for Psychical research what horse sense means? I thought that was the I thought that was the thing you lit that made your house smell like shit He introduced his pet horse Mohammed Wow He introduced his pet horse, Mohammed. Wow.

Okay. We're talking about a very strange time and a progressive horse doctor. It's the most common name in the whole world. He's right. He is right. That's all I'm saying. He is right.

Bet him the show. Yeah. He could translate four languages, extract square and cube root. Yes, extract square square and cube roots, describe persons and even pay compliments to pretty girls. A I'd bang you. Jesus Christ. May, you know what I'm saying? I'd bang you like a shoe on my foot. All right.

So this is clearly one of those like, you know, he's there goes a tail and he gets the horse to clomp his foot a couple times or something. No, it's real. Imagine you're a woman in Chicago and all the men are treating you horribly and you just want to escape the day and go to a farm where you're not around any man and a horse tells you you've got a fat ass. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'm just giving the horse to the first chewing gum. I'd hit it. All right, you know what? I'm actually just going to go to the woods. The songbirds aren't.

The songbirds aren't. These savants were impressed by the fact the horse made several mistakes. And what? By the way, I'm just going to go ahead and call these not savants if that's right everybody. Yeah, right. That the horse made several mistakes in the arithmetic problem submitted. His numbers are way off. He said five instead of eight. Well, Jeremy, he is a horse. Well, still he's pretty stupid for a math horse.

Professor Crawl tested the animal with French, German, English, and Spanish and the animal understood each obeying instructions exactly. in Spanish and the animal understood each obeying instructions exactly. Bow to the prettiest lady in the room, ordered Professor Crawl, what the fuck, so then all the other women are like, what the fuck just happened? How come I just took a fucking hit? Like the horse is like,

that's the hot one. The horse, you imagine asking a horse to be like, all right, now horse that speaks five languages, it does math. Who are you most attracted to out of our species? Imagine selling this horse and going. I got to tell you he's not good at math But he can sexually harass women in six languages. If that means anything to you as a horse buyer He knows five languages. He's pretty good at arithmetic

But spoiler he's got weird taste and ladies. He's not a yeah yeah, got a weird, he's a chubby James. So look, he can do algebra, spreeks, speaks, speaks banish and man does he like jugs? He's a jug pony. He's a jug pony. He's what we call him. Jesus Christ. Uh, Mohamed looked gravely around the at the women's scientist present then went down on his four legs Made his bow and bared his teeth Suspiciously like a horse laugh before an elderly Dowager with a cropped head and Harold Lloyd spectacles I My god, so so I'm not okay, so I'm not a fan of this Charles Nelson Raleigh lady here

Someone asked me a math problem real quick, please What's a cropped head can we start this it sounds like she's a magazine cut out? I'm betting it's like if that's straight across haircut that the way I see her. Okay, so he picked an old lady if Waldo glasses and dumb and dumber hair. Yeah, yeah. And he bears his teeth.

He's like, yeah, hell, she's like, no, cool. Dr. Wilhelm. Okay. No, man, we're not actually finishing the matchmaking. I mean, do it. Dr. Wilhelm Newman of batten batten then proved to the sub-aunts that trick dog tests carried on before the Congress were fakes and should be expunged and should be expunged from the records. I would like to remove the records.

Scrap. I think we just lost our chance at the Nobel prize. As the owners of the canons merely made their pets learn the answers to the questions in advance and rattle off the replies from memory. Dr. Newman discovered this by mixing up the questions when the dog question invariably followed the owner's sequences. A dog that just remembers stuff, that's not impressive. Strike it from the record. If you're going to come up with a dog horse con, keep your fucking questions in order, dickhead. I mean, you have like one job.

Your whole con is contingent upon your dumb little note cards and he's like, I dropped them back. Stage. I'm still dying. Please strike this from the records. It was fully on my behalf, but I would like that not to remain in the record if that's a problem. This is no longer peer reviewed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha whiskey or any other alcoholic beverage. Bullshit. What the fuck? I think it attest to that big thing.

My people are still here because every time we got bit by a snake, we took a pull from the Jack Daniels. God dammit. What do you mean? How about field research on this? How often were your people bitten by snakes? Oh, if I told you every day, I'd be short selling it. Have you thought about not having as many snakes around? Hey, Dave, they've got local government for a reason.

Back up, yeah, Hollywood live. That's right. Don't come here and put your liver rules on us. Well, he gave us his random. Now we take a little bit of ours. We need something to for the songbirds to get eaten by, I guess, I don't know how it's true. That's a good point. Okay. So don't treat alcoholic beverages. That is one of the points made by Dr. Amaral, who is in this country to study snake. It's snake problem and to make snake anti-toxin called anti-venom available for everybody in need of it.

Many people who have been bitten by snakes died from acute alcoholic poisoning. I got bitten by snakes and just drank a phantom vodka. It's a whole lot of it. The anti-venom stuff obviously, all right, he's in the in the night But it's just like another one has died from alcohol. Do you think it's the venom? No rent no no This guy had two beers boom the last time my uncle got a DUI he also tested positive for snake venom though, so Yeah, a lot of it in his system. All right, so we slithered the line. In order to cure themselves of a mild snake poisoning,

they have taken whiskey and fatal doses. I got to tell you, I just love with every part of this that snake, trying to, the idea that you're like, you got bit by a snake, here, you need booze. It seems like in the 30s, people exclusively drank fatal doses of alcohol, because then it was all made in a bathtub, right? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I still think it was the snake. Yes, it's a snake. Dr. Emerald thinks that if a man is bitten by a poison of snake, there is somewhere between three and 10 chances to one that he will get well if he does not kill himself by treatment.

Poison of snakes feed at night. That's like horse. They head math. Yeah, it's really, it is horse math math. I just say what the hell just happened. He's getting a chance of a 20% obviously fraction chance. Don't drink out. Oh, that's the snake who the prettiest lady around is. See what the snake does. If you want to beat the snake, you buy the snake back, put some of your poison into it. It's the circle. Hello, I'm Dr. Makeshit up.

I know. Some, I've done some reports. I have a PhD and I've been drinking. Also, they said he came to hear to study our snake problem. Where was he from? I don't know. I feel like of all the countries where there's snakes and stuff. I don't think of America as like we've got a big snake problem.

We definitely don't compare to other places. Yeah. Like in Australia, like there's snakes and stuff. I don't think of America is like we've got a big snake problem. We definitely don't compare to other places Yeah, like in Australia like there's snakes that they just they're on the interstate like his biggest cars The interstake yeah, that's right. Just slithering about yeah Christ I can't believe he's not signaling a slither in near my sliver. What's going on the wrong side of the ride? What's he up to? Yeah, never says where he's from this article. Okay He's slithering near my sliver. He's on the wrong side of the ride. What's he up to? Yeah, never says where he's from. That's hard to call. Okay. Dr. Emerald thinks if a man is bitten by a poisonous snake,

there is already read that. So poisonous snakes feed at night. They empty their poison sacks in killing their food. Okay, so already he doesn't know what's happening. I feel like he's off. It's nighttime. I'm going to empty my sack into this food. All right, boy.

Empty the sacks. Yeah, I definitely think that is not the case. There's a drunk guy in the woods at night. He gets bit by a snake and the snake poison kills him. And they just go, but how come every time someone gets bit by a snake, they're also drunk. And it's like, well, it's a tree has a drinking problem. We are all alcoholics and have been since our founding.

Oh, so for several hours after feedings, even a large poison of snake would not have a fatal dose of poison in his poison sacs. Small poison of snakes sell them have a fatal dose of poison in his poison sacs. Small poison a snake seldom have a fatal dose of poison at any hour. Okay. So he's just full of shit. Like he's he's wrong. They're they do have enough. But also the snake, not every snake eats every fucking night. It's not like a snake's like it's not time I'm gonna eat like they go days without fucking eating time for dinner. I did not know that they go days without eating Yes, the snakes don't eat twenty. Well, that's I guess you're right. They unhinge their jaw. They eat a big thing and then three day

They're like I can I could I could not eat yeah, yeah They did just it over a while All right, so that guy is a fucking liar. That's Dr. Liar face sure, right? mean, it takes a lot to make the horse guy seem competent. But he not does. All right. Last one, David. Got some fireworks at the end here. I mean, there's a couple that must the sea pick. You want me for picking this paper? No, who Dave? Yeah. No. I could tell with Dave's mat now. No. No, all these papers, my buddy Burns has vetted all these papers.

Ah, he has. Oh yeah, so this is, so if we're mad at anyone, we're mad at Burns. Okay. I'm not sure why, but it's fine to be mad at him. You hear that Burns, you fucked up. Hey, I don't know you Burns, but what's where you're going. You know what I mean? Yeah, have a little snake Take some snake venom because you got bit by alcohol, but I never know when that's pretty accurate

This might not be the last one. I just want to do some really quick owners of vans say that 300,000 change homes Despite the early morning drizzle, Vance yesterday began transferring furniture in what real estate men called the busiest fall moving day in Chicago for many years. Who's keeping track of this information? This is the start of moving day. It's moving day. Interesting. Do you know what moving day is, Cory?

I know. In golf, it is Saturday. That's the Saturday of the tournament because that's when you start moving. That's where the cut line, or the cut line was on Friday. And then Saturday is moving day, you start moving either towards the front or moving away from the pack of leaders. That's that I only know it in golf. So you have no idea. No, no clue. Is it a thing that's more important than golf? I don't know it. Nothing's more important than golf. That's right. For like over a hundred years in America. I don't know about other countries, but in America everyone's least ended on the same day

And everybody would move on the same day. Oh my god. That was a very terrible system. Yes, and we did a doll about it as a nightmare How long ago was this? How long do I have to search back in the archives? I want to hear this. Man, I felt like it went to the 60s. I might be wrong, but it went on for a long, fucking time. That's, I mean, you mean in our dollop, Cradal? I've no, either way. That's, I don't know. That's insane. 200. It's called moving day. It's the episode is insane. Chicago moving van companies reported capacity orders. It was said about 300,000 moved or soon will move into new quarters. Many of the vans are scheduled to work today. In quarries revealed that the demand for apartments is equally divided on all sides of the city.

Real estate men said the call for six and eight room apartments is was slight. The majority of Newtons desired two, three and four bedroom apartments. That is crazy. Six. We're looking for eight bedroom, one bath. Like that is nuts. Eight bedroom apartment. Yeah, you know, usual family. Need to enter nine bedrooms. We're a traveling baseball team, you see? And we really need the space. Yeah. That is not an eight, I mean, imagine I'm like when you're searching for places, being like, here's an eight bedroom.

That's pretty close to what we're after. Uh-huh. An apartment. All right. Um, let's see. Do you want I could do stabbing? I can do gin. I can do plain stealing.

Oh my God. God, Dermot. Or, yeah, this is. That's a. Uh, I'll eliminate stabbing. Cory, you pick between gin and plain. I think I know it's stealing. We got to go with plain. I mean, I love gin, I'll eliminate stabbing. Corey, you pick between gin and planes. I think I know it's stealing. And we got to go with plain steel.

I mean, I love gin. Don't get me wrong. But we've talked about booze and snakes. I want to get into some fucking hardcore plane stealing because planes had just become a thing like, and of course, naturally, they're like, oh, there's planes. Well, another thing we can steal. How about that? Yeah, it's takes hard to drive.

To youth, steal, to take girls on airplane rides. I love it. Who are who side do you want? The youths, the youths. Yeah. If you go throughout history, I've noticed beyond the side of the youths. Yeah, because they're always right. I'm youth, team youth. Yeah, because they're always right. I'm youth team youth. Mm-hmm. The high price of flying led them to commit more than 100 burglaries according to the confessions of Philip Pepher, 24 and Philip Bogich, 19, who were locked up today at the Brownsville Police Station.

The price of flying at Roosevelt field is $10 for 10 minutes, pepper said. Oh, this is just like an exhibition ride. Not even going anywhere. It's just like, hey, I'm just flying. Yeah. He and Bogich were both unfortunate in having girlfriends who were crazy over airplanes. It is an unfortunate thing to have a crazy girlfriend. Good to find a way to blame it on a woman. Of the shit you will do for a hand job. That's right. That's right.

But unfortunately, I had girlfriends who were crazy for flying. I guess I'll go burgl 100 people. Yeah. And it's her fault. Yeah, she did this. Pepper explained just as soon as they hit the ground, they wanted to go up on another ride. Boguchini are wild about flying too. And we blew our money in the daytime on planes as fast as we could steal it at night. So they're just robbing people because their ladies wanna fly.

Yes. I mean, I mean, is anyone switching clothes? Yeah, like, but so they, so they're not stealing a plane. Right.

No, they have a line through me off. Okay, all right. They're stealing to pay for the plane ride. They're right. They have a life of crime because they've got two women who are addicted to fly. It's amazing to have not enough money to do a thing that you want, like to steal and then go,

we do 10 minutes in a plane. That's it. Yeah. Like 10 dollars shows you, it really also shows you how far aviation has fallen. Yeah, where you would pay $10 to get on a plane. Whereas I would gladly, I mean, I would just I'll do I'll I'll I'll stand at a glory hole for the length of a flight. If it means I can get there instead. Yes, it is. like the of flight if it means I can get there instead. Yes.

It is, it's gone from, whoa, what a miracle. Like God damn. Today's a completely full flight where it's just hell on earth. But also like it, how terrifying flying must have been, like this is brand new, like they don't, it's not destination, it's just go, I think that the, we can't comprehend being in a place

where we go, there was never, there was no flight. And now there's flight like, don't you think the modern day equivalent would have to be if all of a sudden there was teleportation? Yeah, I was going to say space, but you're right. It is, it's the jump is so enormous that it is probably that. It's like you could go teleport. And by the way, we will say you can get teleportation devices cheaply. It's called DMT.

Correct. Okay. That's how we like to finish all episodes on a good plug for DMT. Corey, thank you so much for joining us. We're going to refer to you as our returning champion from now on. If that's okay with you. I love that so much. I've always wanted to be a champion and to return. You've done great. Uh, we really appreciate it. Um, promote your book and your sub stack one more time. That's right. It's round here and over yonder.

That's the travel book bonus Corey.com is where I do all my extra stuff. And also real quick, this is going to get cut out because it wasn't sanctioned. My podcast with tray crowder putting on airs is a thing that people like. We'll talk to the editor because again, you have crossed a very clearly drawn line. And we try to be very clear with you, but you have again, egregiously not only slapped me in the face, but Dave Anthony,

Dave thoughts on how courage just violated us. I'm sorry, I'm just telling you, a boy, a crowder now. Ah, that's right. There you go. I'm rewatching justified right now. Good stuff. Oh My kid into it, but the first season is hard for him to latch on Dave. He's the mind stuff We're doing we're coming at Corey. He's wronged us. So just don't No, I'm totally he's already he's rewatching justified and he's related to the crowd We're watching Justify and he's related to the crowd All right, all listen. This has been one of the stranger endings, but it's an ending. How's to it? It's do we weird in person

Do he's very dumb. He's as advertised Dave now thinks you live in the show justified so it is definitely time to go. I'm fine with that Dave's finally gonna start saving the songbirds if you catch my drift Thank you everybody. Thank you, Cory. Screw you, Dave. Thank you, guys. I really appreciate it. Appreciate it, man. Some of these days, you'll miss me honey. Some of these days. you