The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 502 - Aimee Elizabeth McPherson - Live

Episode Date: October 12, 2021

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine religious leader Aimee Elizabeth McPherson. Recorded live in Phoenix, Arizona.SourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

yes no no no we don't need that you're better than that everybody you're already you're way better than that hey Dave your asshole sit down you're not supposed to be part of that remember I was just thanking them for coming no you were not you asshole I was like thank you guys no for coming out no being very yeah you no no no there's no yeah see it's nice Kristen Sinema's here tonight we want to thank her for coming out she's awesome we support her great she's a guy she's here tonight so let's be respectful we want to she's actually sitting in a throne in the ceiling we're no one

could touch her seer but Kristen we are just so thankful for your leadership and if we have a chance after the show we'd love to kiss the fuck offering it would just mean so much to us this is a bilingual American History podcast for each week I Dave Anthony read a story from American history to my grouchy friend Gareth Reynolds not fair who has no idea what the topic is going to be about so I'm gonna I'm just gonna say I was gonna do a for you guys I was gonna do a dollop on the Phoenix's answer to the 1918 flu but I didn't because it's fucking the same so so just be a room full of people all uh-huh yeah

including understand yeah including bleach uh-huh they were bleaching were they injecting it I I didn't dig into the bleach I just saw bleach and I was like I gotta go I can't wow it's exciting this one is a it's got a little bit Arizona tiny bit but I think if I had done the other one everyone would have probably killed themselves with bleach because that's the cure you're listening to the dollop I would love to say that was the first time I scared a lady in the front row but it's not when you just shouted that yeah yeah who's got skirt he jumped you jumped yeah it's okay it's gonna get worse they say a

lot of crazier shit than just a date October 9th 1890 year of our Lord Jesus Christ Jesus Cristo Amy Elizabeth Kennedy was born on a farm in Salford our Ontario Canada okay her parents is that the is that the Arizona part nope I was gonna say no a good guess though thank you I'll keep guessing often how's that yes great her parents were a Methodist and her mother Mildred it was very religious sure now I'd say the Venn diagram of Mildred's believing in God it's strong Mildred they called mini they call Mildred mini yeah okay you don't know why nope she was probably tiny can we guess that it

could have been tiny yeah bleach shrivel her yes okay yeah when Amy was a little kid she would play Salvation Army with friends and she would play Salvation Army with let's put on clothes the ditch you never played Salvation Army with your friends no not not often I went there a lot of sateen I was when I used to buy pants without looking at the size and I would tie them up with rope around my yeah it was weird I didn't my dad wasn't around for a key time when stuff needed to be learned it sounded like you said rope yeah yeah rope I would yep wouldn't use belts a lot of times would use rope anyway keep going

button were you also from the 1800s I maybe I don't know a lot of this is already sounding familiar I think I was mini when I was a child she also like to preach to her dolls but who didn't sure who didn't line up the dolls and just let them know how to stay out of hell who else cannot keep their eyes open when they're laid backwards who else has suffers from this affliction who else is thumb can fit in their mouth if it is shaped like an oh come forward dolls she'll heal you but in her teens Amy began moving away from her mother's religious teachings was she not at the doll church shoot yeah I guess her mom

wasn't at the doll sermons no I guess not no weird so there's not a lot of human stuff in the preaching so so Amy started reading novels as well as going to movies and dances which is I don't like this I don't like a lot of bad influences media really against dances movies very very crazy well very against the Methodist way yes yes yes so when Amy was in high school she learned about evolution and was obviously upset yes right of course we all are it goes against what God did that's right which is put people in a bowl and mix them up and then you know throw them out there and yep have you read the Bible many

times many different many times many times the bowl part I read the Bible cookbook but it was very it's just as informative and you get some great recipes along the way spoiler a lot of Jesus blood in a lot of those recipes that really makes a roast come to life little body if you want some crunch to it breadcrumbs work great as the anyway good good great so Amy wrote a letter about evolution to a newspaper you know against teaching evolution in schools and it got printed all over the country and that was her first taste of like people knowing who she was but she was starting to move away from religion and

then she was as she she needed to be coddled a little bit further until they completely ripped her out of the matrix goo essentially she was like what you know it kind of wakes up in the matrix goo yeah keep going pal you didn't lose me at all great when she was 17 and Irish Pentecostal missionary good good good good combo I like a hyphenate you know me yeah named Robert Semple held the revival meeting in her town okay so he's an Irish Pentecostal yes okay don't someone's got to suck to poison out again oh that's right oh Christ almighty put clovers inside the wounds oh oh it's a frothy blood I've

got isn't it what Christ almighty almost like the head of a Guinness okay he works in mysterious ways the Lord does yeah oh yeah don't you doubt me yes right yeah hi hi yeah what do you think a leprechaun's not a fan of him what not a fan of him not impressed yeah yeah tiny column minis uh-huh many yeah yeah mini what minis mini little mini focus you see fucker in your Pentecostal minister yeah that's a biblical term that's how I'm written all over the Bible a lot of those many focus sure yeah many focus I tell you what you'd like leprechaun you do not want to see a leprechaun that is oh you

never seen anything so sad can he pick his pipe up go no hands no hands yeah he's a leprechaun that's different parts are dropping off oh yeah he's a leprechaun gotcha oh I'm the leprechaun you go mate he's fucking you're not gonna be grating many fucking wishes in a minute I can catch you from quite fucking simply he's right there they're really tiny sure if they're legless fucking hey speaking of which was legless the other night down at a pub whoo fucking out whoo I've no idea what you're saying yeah I know I just seen oh he was as legless legless as a leprechaun the other night yeah yeah fucking

through and back hey yeah hey you said don't sound like a minister at all at this point okay I guess I forgot about that part so Amy goes to see this panel at Pentecostal Missionary to Revival they meet and they quickly fell in love great I got married sticking around all right quickly got married she's 17 and fell if I don't you get my snakes now this is what Amy switched to up being she's Pentecostal okay she's in right now good you know felt like she was teetering on maybe leaving the church for a minute but she went back into the deep end she's deep in yeah now her mother's like settle

down relax yeah okay talk to the dolls this is crazy so they lived in Chicago for a little while and then they went to Hong Kong on evangelical missionary tour and they both came down with malaria hmm interesting God's plan is wild isn't it and then on top of that Robert came down with dysentery and he died oh Jesus Christ and I would find it hard to go back to the church after that it really sucks Amy was eight months pregnant so she had a baby a month later Robert was the Irish guy yep I know I know I saw a fruitful future with him yeah well he lasted like three cents you know what his last words were

anything what's it no well he had dysentery so I know his last words yeah fuck oh Christ not on the snakes what do you think his funeral was like oh fucking not easy sloshing around sorry I asked so she named her baby Roberta star sample sure she returned to the US on a ship and she held religious services on the ship the whole way back I cannot believe terrible yeah yeah back in the states she met accountant Harold McPherson and they fell in love where's he from somewhere strange he was he was living in New York that's so sorry they married in 1912 and they lived in

Rhode Island and she had another child Rolf Potter Kennedy McPherson I mean even when you just said Rolf it is Rolf it's as good as like a throw-up sound can like you know I mean Rolf this is my baby roll so she tried to fit into this housewife lifestyle but she just it wasn't her thing sure okay and she also had an obsessive compulsive disorder and she struggled with that sure she's which people respected back then yeah like you have a disorder oh huge understand that completely yeah or you're a witch one of the two which is it sister I don't know if that's changed a lot much she would cry and pray a lot

in 1914 she got appendicitis and she said that it not she got an operation and it failed and then I've got two now the fuck is wrong with this hospital oh and then a voice spoke to her while she's there in the bed okay and it told her that she needed to go preach this is after they took it out or the this is no she's she's just after the bad surgery so she's the surgery failed she's laying in bed what does that mean for a failed surgery I don't know yeah what does that look like it's like they did we burst it we're so stupid oh fuck we took out the heart oh I thought I made a left I should have made a right we are

so sorry any who we've goofed big time you're not gonna have to pay for any of this by the way we're not this is pro bono if you see a watch it's just my father gave it to me so I just he'll be furious they're gonna make your surgery into a game called operation if that's any consolation yeah it's gonna be really guys came over yeah Andy Milton Jan Bradley yeah that's what it'll sound like it'll sound like you should have prefaced it by letting you know what that was in reference to should I say what if you don't know the game it's really crazy sounding yeah that's up a

doctor should do yeah all right it'll light up I guess would you lead with the information and then the sorry yeah it's not helpful so she hears this voice it tells her to preach and then she agrees she says okay I will preach and then her pain was gone was it the bedpan guy or something you should preach she's like oh my god yes well that she said that she was cured okay by agreeing to do the Lord's work so the Lord was like sign the dotted line you're gonna be fine yeah basically yep okay so now she's gonna preach sure and one day Harold the appendix is sort of just that's it yep but it that's it being

that it's fine now okay because it sounds God said do something she should do it bam sure good right got it thank you how it fucking works thank you sir appreciate it sorry again for asking so one day Harold comes home and Amy's gone and she's left with the kids okay and now she's driving around the country at first she's with her mother Minnie and they're in a convertible Packard I'm flying away she's tiny yeah I get it and a sign on the side of the card said quote Jesus is coming soon get ready sure is this the story of bumper stickers yes it's good so far okay now and G did God God was like take the kids to or was

she like it's complicated because their father's a bucket I don't know I don't know what God said about the kids I don't know if that was part of the message but she's just took them because they were hers sure right that's fair good point thank you for pointing that out so she goes out and she's a hit she's very good-looking she's radiant she's a really good speaker like she's got all the magic that you need and also she's a woman preacher which is pretty rare for the time sure she also spoke in tongues which is exciting oh gosh she's not playing which to learn so she would drive around with a megaphone

a lot of love this lady is making a ton of sense am i crazy she can we get her microphones so we can hear louder she's just she's limited yeah amazing how just spot on that is yeah it's basically that that's all Well, yeah, I think so. It's like tongue-jazz. I think. It's like, ah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Lea, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

She's really got it. Look at her go. Yeah, look at that. It's very strong. She's got it bad. I think one of the snakes bit her. So, yes, they drive around through towns and she's speaking tongue-

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. From a megaphone in the backseat of the Packard, which was, I guess, to attract people to the revival she was gonna have. I'd move closer, for sure. I'd be like, one second. Oh, that's interesting. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And then she'd preach at tent revivals and churches. She'd also do faith-healing demonstrations like blind people could see, people through other crutches. Sure. All the classics. Right, right? Yeah, I mean, I never, okay. Sure that happened, for sure.

I can see! Yeah. I can't see these anymore. Right. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Wow! I wish I couldn't see her doing it, I guess,

is my first thing. I wish I could see something different. Snake! So Harold comes to get, he wants to bring his family back home. Sure. He comes to get her. How's the appendix, dear?

Any update? Then he watched her preach and instead he joined in. That's really compelling stuff you just did there with your mouth. I didn't know, I didn't know you could talk. I didn't know you could, I didn't know you could jazz tongue. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hello, Harold. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I could see why you're mad. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. So he joins in, he starts setting up the tents, he's helping out with the meetings. What a basic reaction!

Yeah. He's gonna be pissed. You guys need help putting any of the polls in or how are we, let's really get this up too for tonight. Hi, hon. Many took the older daughter and they went to live in New York, I think because she needed a more stable life

because she was older, but. So they sell the Rhode Island house, they're all living out of the car which they called the gospel car. Sure. It's all part of God's plan. But then after a while Harold's like, I can't fucking do this.

And then one night in Key West, they got into a big argument, they argued all night about the lifestyle they were living. In the morning, he got up to go fish because that's what they eat for lunch, he would catch fish. And when he came back, Amy was gone. Again, he's like, God damn it!

She bailed. Yeah. Okay. He went back to Rhode Island and petitioned for divorce, claiming abandonment. Oh, so that's back when you couldn't get divorced really without. Yeah, someone had to just.

Someone had to be like, that was bullshit. Okay. Yes, that was bullshit. That was actual bullshit, you may. You're single now, Harold. So, now Amy's becoming a hot ticket. Like people fucking love her, crowds are getting bigger and bigger.

Then Minnie comes down, she comes back with the daughter and she's gonna handle the business side of things. And look after the kids. Okay. So, Amy sells out a two-week run in a tent in Orlando. Wow. 1,500 people each night. Which is better than our numbers.

Way better than our numbers. Way better. She's like Cigura numbers. Right, right, right. Again, I would be less obsessed with him specifically just because. He's just fucking staring at me. I understand, but again, it's a podcast.

Also, Bill Burr is, so. Sure, all right. Can we get the paintings taken down? It's gonna be distracting for Dave. And Ably, Ably. So, then she starts touring, it goes on for a while. And then after a while, she wants to stop touring and have a more stable life.

So, she moves to Los Angeles. Sure, where stability lies, where, sure. I just want to be around some normal people for once. That's right. Now, driving across country in 1918, just as a woman without a dude is pretty unheard of. Right, sure. Cause there were no, like, no roads.

Did your husband fall out or something? Seems to be the problem. Have you stolen this? Are you confused? Is a man inside the trunk? We're very worried. Well, there were no, there were like, not enough roads and there's no gats, you know, hundreds of miles

of gas, like it's a fucking nightmare. Sure, yeah, right. Tires were just at that time, like, balloons sort of, like a thick balloon and they would just pop every 50 miles. So, it's kind of not great. It's like a cartoon. It's like a cartoon car. Right, okay, right, for sure.

Great. So, on the drive, it was Amy, Minnie, the kids, and Sister Louise, who was a middle-aged Christian lady who was Amy's stenographer. Who's her stenographer? I'm going to need someone to take all this down. How do you spell, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. A lot of L's. Got it. Absolutely, fantastic. Got it all right here, Amy, no problem. Not going to be an issue for us to get the transcript of this ready to go.

They would sleep at night beside the car on Cots and she would preach along the way to make money. Sure. So, they arrive and... Was anyone like, preach a hotel room, get us a hotel? Does that end in his plan, maybe? Can you preach a fucking bed?

A bath would be great. Is that in God's weird plan for us? So, they arrive in late 1918. Now, Pentecostals were, at this time, they would, everybody could come, right? It wasn't white, separate, like they were just like, come on, everybody. Right.

So, in L.A., it's Blacks, whites, Latinos, and so people fucking hate that. People are like, no, that can't be a thing. Sorry, I thought this was about God. This doesn't make sense. So, very inclusive. In two days after arriving, Amy was preaching in front of about 700 people.

She's already, like, her name is out there. Sure, okay. Many then found a hall that would hold 3,500. Okay. 100 bucks rent for three hours. Wait, what? 100 bucks rent. 100 bucks rent, okay.

Which is a lot back then. Sure. But she filled it, and she's getting more and more popular. In 1922, she broke attendance records that have been set by famous preachers like Billy Sunday. Well, sure, he was unbelievable, that guy. Yeah.

What is she doing that's so special? Is it the tongue game? Snakes? What are we rocking? I don't know if they call it the tongue game. They're doing revelations. Oh, they do? Yeah, revelations is all about the tongue game.

That was when Jesus kissed Luke? The Luke, yep. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's right, that's right, exactly. I think they might've cut that from the final. It's been a lot of rewrites over time. But so is she just, I mean, charismatic? She's a great, she's a fucking showman.

She's a great showman. I mean, you know, she's got that thing. Sure, she's got the X factor. Yeah, right. 30,000 people came to see her in San Diego. The Marines had to be brought in for crowd control. The audience went bug fuck when Amy laid hands on a paralyzed woman who then walked away.

Yeah, but okay. Can you imagine seeing that, Gareth? No, it'd be very strange. I would be very, I would want to talk a lot about it, for sure. I would want an investigation into this woman's previous life. This woman couldn't walk, fucking hands on,

just strolls off. Yeah, sure. Yeah, no, it's awesome. What a miracle. I just, it seems so strange, you know? Well, Jesus, that's almost the same thing that happened to her appendix, which was, you know, they tried to take it out.

They clearly took the wrong thing out. You know, now that we're going back to that, I'm starting to have some logic issues with that again. Why is that? Is she in the hospital? You know, stuff like that. Yeah, I think she was in the hospital, yeah. She was a legitimate surgery.

Well, she said it was. Right, that's kind of where I'm right. Okay, awesome. Thanks for the clarity, Frank. Good shit. So, she wants to build her own church. And in 1923, Amy opened the Angelus Temple, funds all raised by her followers.

Okay. It's one of the first mega churches. Awesome. Which are great. They're great. That's where Joel Austin lives. He's the best. He lives inside one.

Yeah. Well, the plane I could take anywhere. Yeah. I don't want to do the show anymore. You're in God's show, Day. I live on soap and bobble. Ah. Fuck.

I want to bathe. I have 15 pools. Next to each other? Yeah. God decided. So lucky. While others go hungry. Yeah.

I get everything I want. Yes. Such a weird plan he's got. Yeah. I'll take it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to turn away now.

He's a miracle man. I don't know if I sing, probably not. So building materials were donated, construction workers volunteered, their labor, they built it. 5,300 seats. Jesus Christ. She helped serve it.

She helped serve it. We'll be there. Every day, sometimes more than one service a day, she had a sex appeal. That was a big part of the success. Interesting. Interesting in that environment for that to be part of it.

Yeah, dudes were like, yeah, let's. Yeah. Yeah. Let's say you want to go to church? Yeah. Yeah. I love church. Oh, fuck, God damn it.

God's amazing. Honey, can we go to church again today? Sure, but you already went twice. I don't know why. I'm going to fuck you in the car after. What? I told you. Sorry, sorry.

Why would you? After church? Shouldn't that be a time when you're feeling peak pious and you get so close to the Lord? I don't know, I'm so, I get so hard for God. Stop saying, we're not going. We're not going, we're not going, if you're doing that.

You're gonna fuck you and call you Amy? Stop it. God damn it. Stop it. Stop saying God damn it too. That's blasphemous. Oh, fuck. Stop saying fuck.

You're not going to fuck me in the car after we go to church, you psychopath. Like Jesus would. No, what are you, that is. Yeah. No, he was nailed. He didn't nail. He nailed.

Very different. Vastly different. A chasm between the two. That's, we're not fucking after church anymore. No, you are. You've become psychotic. Stop it. Jesus Christ.

Which way are you saying that? I'm just, just thinking about her. Are you testifying what's happening? Thinking about a preacher, fuck. What is happening? Amy. Thinking about Jesus, when she puts the word of God in me. Oh my God.

You know, it's something special. You are sick. And then it needs to come out. Like God, wait, I don't even want to think about our post-coitus moments after church anymore. Through my juices, it needs to come out. I'm feeling sick and I'm married to you. So much Jesus in me.

Oh God. I could put some Jesus in your mouth or. I reject the body. Not that. Historian Marshall Trimble quote, it might have been one of those rare times in history where husbands drag their wives to church rather than the other way around.

Football's on. Fuck football. I hate it. Come on. Football stop. Come on. The services had. That's probably where a glory hole got birthed out of.

Some guy was like, it's a hole the Lord have given us to finish hand. Somebody took a little trip. You've got the confession slider and then also the little, jeek. Will you be working up here today or down here? So her services had an orchestra. Jeez, this is like Kanye's services.

She had sets built. She dressed in costumes, like an Indian princess or a motorcycle cop. A motorcycle? I'm the village people. Navy guy. Actors would join her on stage. Sure, always smart.

Yeah, in one service, she discussed being pulled over by a cop and she dressed up like a cop. She sat on a cop motorcycle and blared the siren. She drove it up to the pulpit and then shouted, quote, stop, you're spinning the hell. Oh, nice. Yeah, hell yeah. I didn't realize that was illegal.

You're not allowed to go to hell. And what's the point of all of this? I'll just wait for you. But while she's putting all these shows, she said film and theater was the devil's work. But she's doing theater. Sure, but it's different. You're not being fair.

She's doing exactly. Thank you. It's God's theater. It's different. Each week she gave 22 sermons. I'm surely, I mean, if some of those are just tongue though, you're kind of just like, I'm like, okay, she's vamping.

She doesn't have anything. The 730 is different than the 530. Sure it is. Sort of. It's a lot of crowd work. Okay. 22 shows. That's a lot.

That's like fucking Wayne Newton. It's like working in Branson. Yeah, that's just, yeah, that's like Vegas. Yeah, yeah. On Sunday's services were so big, the city brought out extra trolleys to bring people and the cops had to do crowd control on the route. Well, also they had to pull people over

for going to hell, maybe. It's become big in fraction. That's right. The temple had a miracle room. Sure, of course it did. Absolutely. Shouldn't the whole thing be considered a miracle room? No, no, no.

No, they had a specific. The miracle room is full of crutches and other things left behind by those who were healed. Okay, just softball pitch real quick. I'll go ahead. There's a church with a lot of wheelchairs and crutches. Maybe give them to people who need them. Instead of hoarding them in a room with evidence.

And as you can see here. Things people with injuries need. Yes. It's our room of shit that people need really badly. But they can't have because the person got fixed. The Lord wanted us to keep it in here's evidence. Speaking of the Lord wanting me to keep it in. Jesus Christ, Harold.

I'll deal with you later. I'll deal with you later. Can we go out to the car? No, not now. We're looking at the miracle room. Then we'll go to the car later. Jesus. Oh, look, she helped the poor a lot.

She gave food, she gave clothing, rent money, she gave medical assistance, her church helped with disaster. Like they had a massive sort of charity function. Sure. That also happened. Okay. Then the church evolved into its own denomination.

Evolved? Not on my watch! I did not. I said the wrong word. The Lord created a new wrinkle, you mean. His plan is shrewd. The church changed. Yes, yes.

Because God changed it for them. Yes. It evolved into its own denomination. Watch yourself. It became the four square church. Sure, sure, sure. Absolutely. They built a radio station in the church.

So now Amy's voice is telling people to put their hands. W-W-N-P. Through the south and southeast. So now she's telling people to put their hands on the radio to be healed. Yeah, right. Absolutely, of course. Now Dave, I'm starting to doubt it.

I'm not gonna lie. It's starting to sound a little crazy. She's the second woman in the U.S. to be given a broadcast license. Okay. And the church... She's been given a God cast license to be fair. And the church, it starts expanding.

It's setting up branches in the suburbs and moving out. Good, spread that, spread it. Great, good, good. Get it everywhere, good. Now, she's a household name by 1926. Good. And church membership was over 10,000. In seven years, the temple had over 40 million visitors.

Oh, God. I mean, I'm like rolling my eyes, but then I'm like, well, Scientology. So never mind. Not like, imagine, Hollywood being like, dang, yay, we'll sign anything. And it's open to all face. She had people from Methodist to Presbyterians

to Quakers to Mormons. She's avoiding the Pentecostal label as it's unpopular in America. Why do you think that is? She's no longer really speaking in tongues to attract bigger audiences. So there were definitely some people like, she's changed since she came to Hollywood.

Yeah, she ain't. I haven't seen her. I didn't see a snake or any tongue stuff. It's just... Yeah, she's talking all normal now. Yeah, she's speaking words. Don't care for it. Not into it myself.

Want to put your wiener through this mousel? Yes. Great, follow me, friend. Glory lie on the other side. I'll go make sure God's on the other side. Then do your thing and I'll come back at the end and let you know if he was there. Yeah.

All right, I'll go walk on the other side of this wall. Okay. Put your thing through it. Okay. All right. He's here. Oh, he is. I'm gonna walk away and let him do his thing.

Okay. Step, step, step, walk into my car. Step, step, step, step, far away. Oh. Oh. How was it, friend? Oh my God. Oh, glad you're happy.

Still, it's weird that I'm back and it's still going to be honest. I'm a little... Not sure how that works, to be honest. I know, I finished. I'm just in shock. Oh, okay, that, I was gonna, I mean, who knew any of that?

So I'm just a guy. I should probably zip her up though, because this is weird to just talk to you now and... Yeah, I shouldn't see it. Never have before, so why start now? You got some toothpaste right here. Yeah, I was just... It's brushin'.

It's twice a day. Yeah. Now, while everybody loved her, author Daniel Mark Ebstein wrote, quote, no one who remembers Amy says that she had a close friend. Okay, interesting, interesting. But she had tons of fans. She had enemies.

Of course. One was... Robert Fighting Bob Shuler. There's a lot of issues I take, but putting like the short of your name in the middle of your nickname. Yeah, it's not good. Robert Fighting Bob, it's like, yeah, okay.

Just Bob, just say Fighting Robert Fighting. Well, I'm Robert Fighting Bob Shuler. Yeah, it sounds like two dudes are fighting. Yeah. It doesn't sound like one guy. Robert Fighting and Bob Shuler. I'll take these! Robert Fighting and Bob Shuler.

I'll take these! That's you. Ow! Ow! Fighting Bob was head of the Church Federation of Los Angeles. Of course the people who are upset are also church people. Yeah, of course they are.

You got it all wrong. Well, she's literally sucking in people from all the other churches. Like, she's taking away customers. Right, right, yes, right. And they are customers. Fighting Bob had once run for governor and he lost, so he put a curse on California.

Oh, and did he take it off? I think we're still feeling it. Every time an earthquake happened, he'd be like, see? Uh, sorry yet? In 1924, he published a book called McPhersonism, attacking Amy for her pulpit style. Okay. He said she was a disgrace to Christians.

Sure. Bob also liked to attack Jews, Catholics, and Black people. Right, sure. Cool, so, yeah. He's got issues. There's heroes all over this story. Now at the temple, Amy had a very close relationship with Kenneth Ormiston, who did the sound.

He was the sound guy. Okay, so he's got the sound effects. And they do-do-do-do-do-do. Hmm. Ha, ha, ha. Mwah, mwah. Ah, hookah. All right, that's not what the Lord said.

I will get to it. That-that, come on. That was the Lord. He did that. Well, during rehearsals, they would speak over the intercom. They were very friendly. Sure, so you're a friend. Very, very, very informal.

Sure. Ken made her laugh a lot. That sounds like a friend. Everyone could hear it, because it's over. You know, it's rehearsals and everything. So yeah, everything's just like, exactly. It's like, that's right, baby girl. So rumors start flying that they're having an affair.

No. And Ken is married. No. Now besides those rumors, which are a big deal, problems start arising in the church. Amy got sued by a few members for not accounting for contributions, taking church property, unfairness, and high-handedness.

The last two are getting it. That's a weird thing to file an actual lawsuit for. Lots of high-handedness. Little too much, if you ask me. Guilty! OK, so she's starting to, yeah, I mean, she's a celebrity. So she's starting to act like one. Yeah, and so she's getting sued in the rumor.

So this is her first bout of really negative publicity. Sure, right. And it goes on for three months until the suit is dropped. And so Amy's really worn down by this, and she's worn down by her schedule. Sure. So on weekend. You mean 22 sermons a week or not,

leaving her a lot of free time? Yeah, for some reason. Wonder what that's all about. Well, ask someone who's an IOTC. Dave. Two. Just stop already. We're having fun.

You don't need to be real. On weekends, she started vanishing, and no one could get hold of her. So she's going away to relax, and no one can reach her. If you believed that much, and would you not be like, maybe you took her to heaven for the weekend? I mean, no. No?

OK. Yeah, I mean, there were probably some people that. Well, it's just the line is funny to me to be like, she's probably on a spa weekend. But it's like, she talks directly to God, so I don't know. Maybe God's spa? Yeah. Yeah, like you're in the God squad.

The choir captain noticed she was fidgeting a lot. Excuse me? The choir captain. That's right, everybody. We're going to state this here. Sing you, motherfuckers. Let the snakes bite you. Let me see those tongues, everybody.

I can understand you. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I know what you're trying to say. Make it more mischimache. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's better. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right.

Now we're going to go swimming using our tongues only. So the choir captain noticed Amy was fidgeting a lot. She's losing weight, and she's having a hard time focusing. And he thinks she's headed towards a nervous breakdown. OK. So they talk her into taking a break. And she goes to Europe and the Holy Land in January. This is supposed to be for rest, but then she ends up preaching

and just fucking rushing around everywhere. It's full of events. Now Ken had left. He quit at the job at the church a month before she left. So now they're both gone. And so fucking rumors explode. But then after Amy leaves, Ken's wife says she wants a divorce. And then she leaves for Australia with their kid.

And she said, the reason I'm doing this is because Ken went missing on January 22nd, right around when Amy left. So he really just, what a good Christian man to just. He's not. He's actually not religious. He's just like, nah, I actually don't believe in the shit. But I hope you guys are having fun at the event today.

I'm an atheist, full on, honestly. I do not buy the bullshit. But I love Amy. And I love being the voice in this room. Voice of God, honestly. It's pretty great. Doot, doot, doot, doot. No, I don't believe in God personally.

That's an amazing thing to do. Well, he's a sound guy from Hollywood. She needed a big sound guy. But even hanging out, what are they talking about? She's like, God does that. He's like, nah, nah, nah. God, I love you. She's like, this is the basis of my personality.

He's like, eh. You like shrimp? It's good, isn't it? They're tiny. Yeah, I like them. You only got jumbo shrimp. It's not a God miracle, but that's pretty wild. So rumors go into overdrive.

And when Amy returns, 12,000 people come to the train. I mean, she's gone for like two weeks. 12,000 people come to the train station to see her. Hello, what do you have nothing to do? We're actors. Of her next sermon, author Mark Epstein wrote, she had, quote, a gaunt face with deep lines around the mouth and hollow eyes.

He said she looked disturbing. OK, so things are going bad. So the relaxation. How was Europe? You're a ghost? Yeah, basically, Amy had always taken an allowance of just $25 a week from the church. But now she started asking for hundreds of dollars.

OK. No one questioned it. Her mother couldn't imagine what she needed it for. Right. Now, on May 18, 1926, Amy went to Ocean Park Beach in Santa Monica, which she often did. And she was working on a sermon. She had her assistant there.

And she asked her assistant to do open mic sermons, basically, trying out the new stuff. Yeah, she's just going to try out the new stuff. So she asked her assistant to go up to a hotel to phone in some directions to the temple. Phone in some what? Directions. OK.

And then she went. And then Amy went for a swim in the ocean. OK. And she was gone, vanished. Did the seas part? I'm here with a little shrimp friend. Ba-da-da-da-da, it's the end of the sea, it's outside. Her assistant waited an hour and looked all around.

Waited an hour. I'm going to get a sandwich and come back. This is very troubling. How long can a human hold their breath? It's 45 minutes, right? Hey, remind me of Amy's look. I know she's gone. Did she have gills when she went in?

Or am I inventing those? She was one of those people who'd swim out. Have you ever, like? One of those people who'd swim out and not come back. She's one of those drowning folk, we call them. No, but I like surf, and all of a sudden some dude will come swimming in. And you're like, where the fuck were you?

Like, they just swim out. I'm Aquaman. And all of a sudden, they come rolling in. You're like, Jesus Christ. I died. They just swim out in the middle of the ocean. OK, whatever. So she was like a long, she would like go for a long swim.

And you're seeing people swim into the middle of the ocean, not come back, and then new people come out when you go surfing? I'm not saying it's new. I'm not saying like a new person. So what are you suggesting, sir? A new person. What are you suggesting? The lost city of Atlantis?

Sight your sources, motherfucker. I'm just saying people swim out and come back. Well, that's not abnormal. I'm not saying people swim out and new people swim in. Well, what are you talking about it for? People are always in the ocean. Is that your anecdote? I saw a human swim.

Yes, it's a miracle. Well, it is pretty miraculous now that I hear it back. So people start searching for Amy. They call out airplanes, and they're flying around looking, you know, checking the ocean. Sure, OK. Fishermen then start dragging the bottom of the seafloor for her body.

That's positive. No one really knew yet at the church. And the next day, her mother, there's a sermon, and her mother steps in for her. Hello. And now. I know you really like the Amy thing, but I'm her mom. Pretty good, too.

Dick-a-doo-doo, it's the guy, blah-blah-blah. Blah-blah-blah-blah. Ways, and then. Holding a noot. Get off the stage, Minnie. Doop, doop, doop, dooo. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop. I heard the snort.

We definitely got a snort out of somewhere. Yes, sir. Thank you. Is that a doot? Yeah, that's a good snort. Good snort. Hot snort. So now, words out.

Her mother says that she's disappeared. She moved to the ocean. Her mom says she disappeared, and she's presumed drowned. So now, the whole fucking church goes down to Santa Monica to search. Sure. They get glass bottom boats from Catalina, and they're going around.

How long has she been in the ocean? It's been like 24 hours. OK, so it's been a day. Right, OK. That's not as crazy, but still, that's like. A deep sea diver died of exposure while searching. That means he was out there and like, come on, Jimmy, come in. You're getting cold.

I can't give up. I will find her while he's gone, so he might have. I don't know. Followers had to be held back from throwing themselves into the sea. Man, you don't hold those people back. Let them go. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

No, everybody run. Go, go. Run in, run in. I think she's right in the middle, too, Charles. She's right in the middle is what I heard, you fucking idiot. One less mouth to feed, huh, Deborah? One woman got in and died looking for her. The water burned.

I hate salt. Now, this is like massive grief. Like, no one's seen this level of grief since Lincoln died. Like, people are fucking losing their shit. OK. 10,000 of her congregation members are at the beach. They lit bonfires, they beat drums, and they danced. And still nothing?

What else are they supposed to do, Dave? What about a drum circle? What if we played volleyball? We'll do anything. This went on for 32 days. Jesus. Is the expectation that they're going to find her now, or they're just in some sort of grieving phase?

I don't know what's happening. OK, I don't either. Postcards were made that showed Amy. For what? Will you deliver to the base of the ocean floor? No. Two more stamps? Yeah, OK, yeah.

This is for Squidward. Postcards were made that showed Amy floating between the waves and the clouds. You know what? Postcards are always dumb, but this is a particularly dumb postcard. She's up there in God's ocean, sort of. Well, some would call the distant the spot between the ocean

and the sky's earth, but that is not realistic for us anymore because she's not here. So she's in heaven's ocean. The first one I did was just her on the bottom and like fish picking at her and stuff. Yeah, we got to push back strongly against that imagery. Yeah, there is a hermit crab living in a hole in her tummy. Again, that is not the optimism we are going for.

We are actually looking for something a little more optimistic. So I could put a rainbow coming out of the hole where the we do not want. Don't pitch for a minute. Just listen for a minute because you're pitching still. And I think you need to hear us. We want something optimistic, something where she does not eaten by hermit crabs or one where she looks like a coral reef

like this one where you've done here where she's just clearly gone or any of these where for some reason you ever handcuffed to the base of the ocean. We're looking for something light, something that fills people with possibility as far as where she is now. Before you pitch, I want you to understand. I want to know you've heard my words. This is we are looking for something that is going to fill

people with some positivity about the situation because we still believe she's very possibly alive and with us. I'm seeing a barracuda shooting out of her vagina. What's your problem? What's your problem, pal? What's your deal? Huh? Are you even a fucking artist?

Don't look at me like I'm crazy when you're the one who just said what you just said. What makes you think we would want something like that? Barracuda is a beautiful animal. Shut your mouth. You are losing focus. No, no, no. Let me pitch something to you before you pitch it back to me.

There she is. On Heaven's clouds, torn as to which direction she should go for she's finally seen the light of the Lord above her. Yet she knows we are all down here pining for her love and preaching again. And there she is casting in between and the struggle is reeling. She hath not decided which way she will go yet, but something

like that I think we'd respond to strongly. You're the guy who can paint. So just do that, maybe. What about an octopus exploding? I'm going to stab you. I'll stab you. We will stab you. Just like balloons.

We will stab you. I came from the depths. You son of a bitch. And the octopus could be on fire. We like that part, but everything else we have issues with. That part sounds pretty cool. And she's dressed like a cop. I don't know how we got here, but I actually like the last

thing you've said. If a fiery octopus at a cop party, that works. That's why I'm an artist. Yeah. Well, we're not going to pay for all the nine other ones, obviously. Ramblings of a drunk artist is what it looks like. And they just, she's not in this one, but just a barracuda.

And it says, where did I come from? Do not get me started on this. And by the way, that's not barracuda. It's eels, motherfucker. We don't know where they came from. But that's a story we were talking about at a different tap. So people are setting up concession stands because there's thousands of people.

What are they selling? Are they selling stuff? Yeah, they're selling whatever they can. One guy then put out a plaster statue of Amy that was blessing the crowd and her followers lost it and started rioting. And the riot squad had to be called. Jesus.

I would have thought they'd like that. They did not. I guess they thought it was blasphemy or something. Sure. Yeah. And when you go and worship at a place with a dude nailed to a cross in front of you, you're like, we don't like that figure stuff.

No. Well, that got a little. You got real quiet. I'm not going to lie. That was a fair point. We don't like imagery. Some people believe she had been eaten by a sea monster that she was fighting.

So wonder how she made so much money off these people. We have reason to believe that a sea monster have beaten the fuck out of her on the floor of the ocean. They were fighting in a bout for charity. She was fine. She was full of balls. Yeah. Squid ball.

A barracuda maybe. No, we're not going to go there again. But now that's the people who were a part of the church. A lot of other people thought it was just a big publicity stunt. And then a doctor who had treated Amy wrote a piece in the L.A. Times claiming she was deranged and probably wandering the hills. And they were like, actually doctor, she's in charge of an

charge of an enormous religious movement. She's wandering around. Yeah, they're like, actually, no. And then someone wrote a letter to the DA saying Amy had been kidnapped for a ransom of $25,000. By the sea monster? Yes. I'm on land now.

So of course, there were the rumors that she had run off with Kenneth. Or the sea monster. Did you hear their dating? The Sacramento Union published a long article stating that this was true, that she run off with Kenneth. And then reporters start hunting for evidence of this affair.

I like how they start at like, let's look at the bottom of the ocean. And then like, did she maybe leave with a guy like 30 days later? Could she have gone and been having an affair? At one point, reporters just barged into Amy's home. Then we live here, hello. And then rummaged through her stuff,

and her daughter had to hide in the basement. Wow. And then her son had to be hidden on a train when reporters learned where he was. And they went through the train searching car by car to find him. But the conductor hid him in his own compartment. I mean, OK.

I mean, shall I dip in? Yeah, go ahead. I mean, just the conductor put him in a little compartment? No, no. You live in that little house under there, friend. No, it's. Do you want some more crackers? No, it's like his where he stays, his compartment.

Oh, where he? OK, all right. I'm picturing like a little baby. There you go. Why do I put my lunch here? You live in there now. That's my lunch. I eat boys.

Get out of here. I eat boys. Oh, sorry, I don't know who you are. I'm just a guy on the train. Get away. You don't understand what's happening. I heard eating boys. Just get in the back of the train.

We don't have time for you. So then on June 19th, a ransom letter demanding 500,000 arrived at the temple. It was signed The Avengers. OK. OK. So a sea monster did get her. The Avengers.

Who knew? Those evil motherfuckers. We're really bored. We took Amy. Many just thought it was bullshit and threw it away. Lord, we could open a universal with all these names. Now, the very next day, many held a memorial service. They were like, that's it.

My dolls will be sitting in the first few rows. There were 6,000 people inside, 14,000 people outside. And many said Amy's body had not been found because God held it so precious that He took it whole to heaven. And that's from the corner, right? Yes. Yeah. The Lord hath taken her.

In whole, too. He didn't take it in parts like a lot of the time. One big piece. Sometimes he'll just take a couple of legs. But this one, he was like, let's take the whole aim. We don't need to peel back the curtain too much. Sometimes he'll be like, cut off the toes. And we'll bring him up in a bag. All right.

That's actually a little behind the scenes stuff. Or just cut him in the little. I was pranking you, you idiot. Cut him in the little cubes. I was saying that as a joke. I'm the Lord. Oh. So God took her up in one handful.

Scooped her up like the All-State Hands. And she turned into like a jelly substance. It was crazy. And she also said at the end of the memorial that more money was needed to pay for the college. And the last thing is that we need more money still. So sorry. They brought in $30,000 on that day alone.

Now, people started reporting they were seeing Amy all over. Culver City, Open Arizona, New York, El Paso, Denver. Is this within the same time frame or just like? Sometimes police are getting like 60 different locations in one day. Maryland and Rose sightings. Yeah, it's all crazy.

But because of all those supposedly sightings, the coroner wouldn't put out a death certificate. Then on. I mean, I guess there's no body. So and he still thinks. Right. There's no body. Well, she's not dead.

She's in Santa Fe, New York, Phoenix, and LA. So she's clearly alive and quite busy. And then two days after her memorial, Amy walked out of the desert into the town of Agua Prieta, Mexico. Hello. And into the yard of. A sea monster bit me.

And she walked into the yard of Roman Gonzalez's house. And she told him she had walked across the, quote, burning sands of the desert after escaping kidnappers. She then collapsed. And he took her to a hospital in Douglas, Arizona. Hey. Who the fuck names the town Doug? OK, so she was kidnapped by the Avengers.

That's right. Left in the desert alone for a moment. She walked the desert. And then she's in Mexico. And she's just collapsed from clear exhaustion. Yes, she's tired. Yeah, of course she is. Yeah, because she'd walked through a desert.

Yeah, she walked through the whole desert. Yeah, of course she walked through the whole desert. So the hospital staff called Minnie and she. It's the appendix. It has to come out. 30 years overdue. She confirmed it was Amy by the location of a scar on Amy's finger and also Amy knowing the name of her childhood pet

pigeon. Dave, you don't have the pigeon name, do you? No, I couldn't find it. It's great. Doug, I assume. Jean-Claude. OK. So Minnie told the church members, quote,

my God, Sister McPherson is alive. Run up the flag on the temple and send out the word broadcast. The Lord has returned his own. Those poor bastards just look at me. She's alive, like imagine. Imagine how bad the one feels they just walked into the ocean and died. Yeah.

I mean, he probably felt pretty bad. Minnie and Amy's kids arrived in Douglas on June 24 with the deputy DA and chief of detectives. Amy told them she'd been in the ocean when a couple called to her from the beach. She was in the ocean. And they asked her to come and pray for their dying child. Oh, that's a classic trap.

Yep. So she got out and she walked to. I was busy drowning, but OK. She got out and she walked to their car with them. And then when she got there, she was pushed inside and chloroformed. But not the order it goes in. I'm not a creep, but you chloroform then shove.

Get in there. Now you pass out. What? No. Not how it works. You don't get the cat in the car and then put it in the fucking carrier. And then she woke up at a house and she was kept there for days.

You're the Avengers. That's right. Three kidnappers wanted, there were three kidnappers. They wanted ransom and they took a lock of her hair to send with a note. And they said they'd take a finger next. OK. At one point, one of them burned her with a cigar

when she wouldn't answer questions. They wanted her to give up information like, where's God live? What's his address? Where's he live, lady? Where's he live, lady? Sad. Now, get us on the phone with God.

We're the Avengers. After a couple weeks, they drove her to a shack out in the middle of the desert. And then one day the men went off somewhere to do something and the woman was there alone with Amy and she needed to go to the store for supplies so she tied Amy up and left. This is like breaking God.

OK. I'm going to get some supplies. I'll tie you up. Now, Amy cut the ropes. Sure. And of course, to cut the ropes. She used her tongue. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

She used the top of a five gallon syrup can that had been opened. Sorry. I mean, it's very hard to relate to the materials she was having. She's in the middle of the desert in a shack and there is a five gallon can of syrup. Is this the story of Costco?

Five gallons of syrup? Five gallons? You're going to eat nothing but pancakes until you tell us God's address, lady. Welcome to the fucking desert. You want a waffle in the shape of Mickey Mouse? How much syrup? All right, I'm going to go out and get some supplies.

Mainly more syrup. We're running low. We have about 3.5 gallons left. We're not idiots. We know how fast that'll go. You tie yourself up. And nothing in there but that big can of syrup that still has 3.5 gallons left.

And when I come back, there'll be 8.5 gallons. Don't do nothing funny unless it's making a pancake with your hands tied behind your back. So she said she climbed out the window instead of going out the door. She climbed out the window. Wait, and this she has cut the, she's free. She's free, she's like.

She used the top of the can to cut the rope. No, no. The window, the tiny shack window. The doors are trapped. The shanty window. She'll push myself through it. And then she said she walked 17 hours straight across the desert until she saw the lights of Agua Prieta.

Aqua, maybe Aqua, Aqua. Probably Aqua. She didn't look, but she didn't look like she'd made that kind of walk. She didn't look like she'd done 17 miles through the desert. That's right. Finding the right direction. I feel like it's this way.

Her shoes are not scuffed at all. They look in good condition. Well, I stopped at a pay less in the middle of it, to be fair. They were doing two tufers. There are grass stains on the insteps of her shoes. I found a lawn. There's a golf course, honestly, in the middle of all that. She's not sunburned at all.

She's not dehydrated. And then she had on a watch. Except a pee. She had on a watch that her mom gave her that she had not been wearing when she went swimming. Those damn Avengers. Magic. Yeah, yeah.

It's the Lord. Authorities then go and look for this shack that she said she'd been kidnapped and held in. Sure. And they can't find it anywhere. Also, her tracks only go out a little ways, and then they stop. Right after these tire tracks. Strange.

Were you a car for a while in the desert? Did the Lord turn you into rubber wheels? But reporters love her story, and they run with it. And even though no one believes it, they're just printing it up like crazy. Shocking. Epstein, quote, the rest of the ink. Let's take a turn.

Epstein, quote, the rest of the inconsistencies of the kidnapping story became a laughing stock. The subject of newspaper cartoons, comedy routines, and broadside ballots. So it's so bad people are singing songs about it. Right, so people have now made plays around her bullshit. A four-square minister said, if Amy? I mean, honestly, what a crazy thing you just said.

I believe you did not tap it into her square before she had tapped it back into his square. She is out. And it's a miracle she was ever in. A four-square minister said, if Amy? I also do double Dutch. None of us interested. If Amy had been faking, she would have come up

with a more ludicrous story. She would not have lied so shittily. She would have come up with something like a five-gallon syrup can. She would have come up with the syrup lie. So Amy's enemies got, there were more of them now. They included the LA Chamber of Combers and the LA Mafia. Jesus Christ, both angles, the LA Mafia.

We don't have badges, but uh. The Mafia was pissed at her because she had converted sex workers and drug addicts who had then gone on the radio show and exposed low-level wise guys. They had previously had a plan to kidnap her in 1925, but failed. Yeah, then the Avengers beat us to it, obviously. They was doing.

Meanwhile, Douglas Arizona became international news. Congratulations, Douglas Arizona. Arizona historian Cindy Haywostek quote, boys on summer vacation walked into Sonora searching for the shack where Amy claimed she was held. Follow the syrup drizzles. The Chamber of Commerce issued Amy Carr windshield decals and happily welcomed tourists.

Oh my God. People finally care about us. I know. It's amazing what happens. And he's scandal. Ashtray. So Amy comes back to LA by train on June 26. Why didn't she just walk?

That's a good question. 50,000 people greeted her at the station. That is fucking ludicrous. The train had an engine car packed with guards in case someone tried to kidnap her again. Just put her in the compartment. There's a boy in there. Hello, I'm a man now.

I've got a family of my own in here. This is Keith. He's eight. Hi. He's my son. He's never seen the light outside of the compartment. I dream about a pogo stick. Yes, I've told him of the miracles of the outside.

I've started my own church. I can see in the dark. His eyes have adapted quite well. All of ours have. I see dead people. OK, Keith, let's be nice to our guests now. We don't want to creep them out right away. But if you'd like to come in here, there's a lot of ghosts.

Keith could see them. An airplane flew over the train and dropped flowers. What a useless display. The fire department showed up in their parade uniforms. The sheriff's department, the mayor, and judges were there. A band played. And as it played, Amy was carried off the train in a wicker throne made out of red roses.

I feel like she's going to have trouble coming back down to Earth. I feel like a historian Morrow Mayo quote, no man or woman was ever given such an ovation in the history of this city. Jesus Christ. The chamber of commerce couldn't take the love going to this now completely embarrassing woman

and pressed the district attorney to investigate the affair rumors. Well, we've not seen anything that shows us that there's any misgivings or problems with their story. Everything seems pretty accurate. She went into the ocean where she was drowning. Mid-drowned, someone flagged her down.

She went to help them. They tossed her into the car, at which point they drugged her, took her to an eye hop in the middle of the desert, where instead of using the door, she jumped through the window for 17 hours. She walked to Douglas, Arizona. And yeah, I'm pretty sure we're all cut up. I don't know what to flag one thing there.

So the press started just going for the affair story. It was well known at this point, however, that Kenneth had one mistress who was not Amy, probably two mistresses. Jesus. But the press totally ignored that fact. Sure. Fighting Bob publicly demanded Amy be prosecuted.

OK. Sure he did. Amy then answered a long list of questions from the LA Times on July 1, explaining what she had built and that she was a woman and to look at what she had done as a woman. OK, sure. It's a not great explanation.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. You're clouding it with, like, you just don't like me because I'm a woman. They're like, you were in the ocean drowning. What happened? How dare you question that? On her pulpit, she told her flock that many in the Bible had been kidnapped, including Jesus.

Jesus actually was living in a waffle house for a little while. Not a lot of people know that. The DA lined up witnesses and subpoenaed Amy and her mother. Subpoenaing. Now, you put your hand on the Bible. You're not going to lie to us, are you? No, for sure.

I would never. Not in front of God. That would not be like me. Now, the investigation is supposed to be looking into the kidnappers. Sure. But that's clearly not what the DA is doing. Her mother and others begged Amy not to repeat

her kidnapping story, especially under oath. It's really bad. They're like, you're not fucking safe. I know it from the top. Not the syrup part. The syrup's the whole part. It's nothing without the syrup. It's a sermon syrup.

It's a syrup one. But Amy told it to the press, anybody in the press, and then she challenged the DA to round up kidnapping suspects. Get the Avengers, if you want to disprove my story. Especially the rock one. Yeah. Is that one of them? You sure that's one of them?

Are you thinking of the Fantastic Four, who also took me a couple of years ago? Shit, who are the Avengers? The Avengers? They're the other ones, the Marvel ones. You're thinking of the guy who's like, flame on, and the rock man. The lady, the lady who wears the little outfit

and flies in the naked plane. Let's do this later. Let's do it later. Let's do it later. We'll do this later. We'll do it later. Oh, the guy who surfs on a silver surfboard. You fucking idiot.

No, that's not. No, colder. No, no. Fuck, I got to watch dumber movies. You don't need to watch anything. As she walked into the courthouse to testify to the grand jury, a double line of four square crusaders dressed just like her in white uniforms and capes

held bibles and sang. We are the dumbest fucking species of all time. There is no question. You do not get dumber. You just don't. You don't. We have some smart ones. But overall, is there a more, I mean,

you can't be this powerful and this fucking dumb. Like, we've learned to speak. Oh, we've done so much. And yet there's still people like, no, we're her. God did this. Thank God he's in charge. I mean, thank him. He's in charge.

I don't think we're dumb. I mean, our response to COVID has been pretty fucking solid. That's fair. Fair pushback. Fair pushback. Fair pushback. So during questioning the DA, his conduct is horrendous. Other lawyers are like, what the fuck's this guy doing?

He comes across as totally attacking Amy. He keeps asking her about run out of different town she hasn't been run out of. And it's about the kidnapping. So no one's indicted for the kidnapping. Man, what a good DA. And then on July 22, newspaper has reported they had found a love nest that had been located in Carmel.

And four people said they saw Amy and Kenneth there in May together. Well, I like how you're so touched by that. Aw, they were in love. They were at the love shack, baby. Inside the cabin, they said there were books Amy had used in her sermons. And her writing was said to be on a grocery receipt.

Fucking busted. But her flock just backs her more. On July 26, she held. She could literally say anything. She'd be like, God flicked me there one afternoon and made me fuck Kenneth. They'd be like, come here. I'm so sorry to hear that.

She held what she called her devil's convention. Sure. Epstein quote, at the climax of her illustrated sermon, a swarm of devils with horns, tails, and goatees leapt from a fiery, smoking pit on the stage, brandishing porchfix, pitchforks. Porchfix. Porchfix.

We're going to stain the porch while we're up here. These devils, the evangelists, presented to the audience as kidnappers, district attorneys, certain ministers, and politicians. Oh, my god. No, the audience laughed. These are the people seeking truth in a story that is as airtight as it could possibly be.

Find one flaw in the Mojave log cabin story. The audience laughed and hissed and booed each one. A flock of winged angels came swooping down on either side. Yay, those are the good ones. That's our team. Let's go, angels. Beat the devils. Yes.

My mind is a complex palace. As thousands cheered and applauded, the angels chased the devils back to heaven. Get them out of there. They're the bad ones. That was close. I didn't know who's going to pull that off until the very end. Hail Mary at the end.

Sealed it for the angels. But the general thought- I had the, oh, go ahead. No, you. I had the over. But the general public does not believe Amy. And on August 3rd, the grand jury reconvened to look at the Carmel evidence. This time, the grand jury took six weeks.

There were massive crowds, so big that the city of Los Angeles built grandstands in the courtroom. Of course, always. Should we build something stupid that we'll use once? That's Los Angeles for you. We could just keep people out of the courtroom. No, no, no.

What we should do is build an enormous, enormous area that'll hold 50,000. And we'll use it once. It's going to be awesome. People would come at dawn carrying both their breakfast and lunch. I'm going to have two meals at this. Scalpers would buy reporters tickets

and then sell them for 25 each. Prosecutor Joseph Ryan called Amy a tart, a conspirator, and a homewrecker. And then people testified they had seen her at the love nest. But the jury was disgusted by what the DA was doing. One, at one point, asked to see the grocery receipt and then took it and flushed it down a toilet. What?

Are you allowed to do that with evidence? I feel like no. I don't think you are. I didn't even get out. I don't know. Stop them. Where's he going? Oh, I have to go to the bathroom.

OK, do you need to take the evidence? Yes, that's where I look at it best. I need to see it in the light of a toilet. It's perfectly lit. The toilet light? Yes. Why not read it here and then go to the toilet after? The toilet is where the light comes from.

I'm not sure I understand how light works, I guess, is the issue. Leave the receipt and don't go to the toilet with it. From now on, nobody will be taking evidence to the bathroom. I can't believe I have to say that. I apologize. We were out of toilet paper, so I used the receipt. You shut your, what?

Where is it? I flushed it down the light toilet. The evidence? What about the light from the toilet? You didn't even say you were going in there to use it. It's a miracle. What's a miracle that you flushed the evidence? No, the light is coming from the toilet.

I don't believe that part. Anyway, there's no more evidence. Don't you, anyway, in my court, asshole, what? You called me an asshole. You just flushed evidence. I had to go boom, boom. I'm done talking to you. Move on.

It's over. Well, it looked like it wasn't gone anywhere. They just didn't have any real evidence. Anything happen to the guy who flushed evidence down the toilet? No. No, they were like, you are still a juror. Well, don't flush evidence down the toilet again. No more.

It looked like it was over. And then Lorraine Wiseman was arrested writing bad checks. She was the sister of Cannes' actual mistress. OK. And Lorraine had previously testified at the previous grand jury on behalf of Amy. So she was saying that this was all fake. Yeah, she said my brother has another mistress.

And then she gets arrested and she goes to Minnie and asks for help. And Minnie says no. And Lorraine is pissed. And she goes to the DA and says, Amy, Minnie paid me to lie before. So the actual evidence is all weak. Like Amy's fingerprints are not in the hotel room. And also, Kenneth admitted to having an affair.

But tonight it was Amy. At night on the radio, Amy called it her crucifixion. It's just amazing. I mean, if you were not elevated to that point, it would be a horrible thing to say. But people are like, she's allowed to say. No, she's right. She's a basic Jesus.

And then she would ask to raise money every night. Her defense fund was up to $100,000. She had insomnia, but she still kept her humor. Reporters like her, but they attack her. It's just weird. She's a very likable person. So anyway, on November 3rd, the judge held her and Minnie over for trial

for lying about the kidnapping and the affair. They were looking at 42 years each. Jesus, OK. But then Lorraine changed her story again, now saying Amy and Minnie had not paid her to lie. So the case is fucked. Feels like they paid her again. Like, when you're like, they did not pay me to lie,

it's like, you just got paid to lie. On January 10th, 1927, the charges were dismissed. But in the court of public opinion, the months of vicious newspaper reports sealed her fate. She would be mocked for years. She would always be mocked for the rest of her life. Sure. But she's still popular with a bunch of people.

And now, because of the trial, she is far more famous than she's ever been. This is just politics. And she starts courting Hollywood, and they start fighting over her contracts to sign her to. She starts dyeing her hair, and starts wearing makeup and jewelry. It died for your sins.

Thank you. She starts wearing a makeup and jewelry and stylish dresses, which a lot of the church members don't like. Yeah. Because she's pursuing fame. Minnie doesn't like it. And then she went on a quote, vindication tour in 1927. It says politics.

This is Trump, essentially. Yeah. So she was preaching in vaudeville theaters, night clubs, and speakeasies. In vaudeville, you'd be like, I came to see vaudeville. She's like, and then another thing. Newspapers reported and rumors abound that she was drinking, smoking, and dancing.

At one point she. It's so weird to see someone in the church do that. At one point, she announced where she would be buried, and then she sold plots nearby, telling people they would rise with her at the second coming. So he's basically going to take in anyone who he thinks is with me. So get the plot near me, and it'll

be like a bouncer letting me in. You'll all be all the Scoot past St. Peter, like VIP shit. So buy these plots while you can because we're going to get behind the velvet rope of heaven together. So that's when St. Peter has his little clicky thing. He's going to stop even using it when you walk by. He's not going to be head counting if you get buried adjacent to me, near plots.

And yeah, and we've got to be close together. So I would say link arms through the caskets if possible. Form a human wall, as it were, a big, you know. But you know, just buy them. Just get them. Hurry up, too. We'll be a gang and go up there together. Float up to there.

That's how it works. 100%. No doubt. So her mother criticized her for being greedy and told reporters Amy had punched her when she brought it up. When she what? Amy had punched her mom when she called her greedy. So it's a miracle.

Yeah. So Minnie leaves the temple in 1927 after she gets punched. And then she comes. And then she gets a bunch of other members, and they try to take over the church from Amy. And they held a confidence vote, and they lost. So Minnie's out. She's gone.

But she was the business sense and management part. And without her, the temple got into unsuccessful projects like hotels and land buys, and they just debt is mounting. And then Amy had a nervous breakdown in 1930. And she was gone for about 10 months. And let me guess, in the ocean desert, blah, blah, blah. She returned, but the church was now just dealing with internal strife.

And she hired an actor and singer, David Hutton, to play the pharaoh in a sermon. And they fell in love. What? She fell in love with the pharaoh for the sermon? Yeah. OK. That's how it works.

Yeah, I know, I've been cast in a ton of sermons. And this is the chemistry. Sometimes you can't keep it on stage. They eloped in 1931. A few days after they eloped, a young woman sued Hutton for breach of promise. OK, because? He promised to marry another lady, and that's a breach.

Right, that is. Yeah, you can't do that. Back then, if you promised to marry a lady, she could sue you. Because you had promised to marry her? Yeah, unless you were a pharaoh, then you had a loophole. Right, then you. So a judge ruled against him. And when the judge made his ruling,

Amy fainted, fell, and fractured her skull in court. I would have thought she was faking it until the skull gets fractured. I think she might have been faking too hard. You know what I mean? She overfaked? Yeah, overfaked. You're doing so good, baby.

This is really selling, everyone. My head. Keep it going. No, I need help for real. So good. I cracked my skull. All right, don't lay down those so thick, though. The blood is great, by the way.

It's real blood. I went too far. That's my theater girl. She then flew to Paris without him, and he filed for divorce, saying he wasn't Amy's, quote, pet poodle. And that actually in France works. That is actually.

Oui, oui, divorce granted. We did not understand that she had a duty to believe that she would be her poudre, which is why we were granted absentee nomenter or divorce, because if you no longer poudre, she'd probably be styling someone else. And here, we understand completely. So good luck to yourself.

Hopefully, you find yourself in a poudre situation where you feel like you're, for lack of better term, a top dog. In the 30s, Amy's daughter sued her for slander. Jesus Christ. Amy cried on the stand, and her daughter's lawyer just mocked Amy. Her daughter went too.

That was an impression of the last witness. Her daughter went 2,000, but then that was the end of their relationship. So she still had the same level of success, and she was still being mocked. Charlie Chaplin started coming to her church and would help with theatrical presentations. And remember, he's now like, oh, I fuck kids.

Like, he's like not. Wait, what? He used to fuck. Yeah, he fucked a very, he got involved with a very young lady, very young. Oh, OK. Like 13, right, or something? Jesus Christ.

Yeah, yeah, he was super funny. OK. So weird, who would think that a star in Hollywood would fuck someone really young and no one would know about it? All right, pal. We've heard a lot of your liberal agenda. Fucking good. In 1944, Amy went to Oakland to do revivals.

She had been given pills by a doctor and called them to say she wasn't feeling well, but the doctor was in surgery. And her son found her unconscious in her hotel room, and she died soon after. Jesus. There was a barbituit she didn't have a prescription for. The cause of death was listed as unknown.

A miracle. Most probably an accidental overdose. 45,000 people. We're finally reunited, darling. Oh, I've waited all this time. You're finally coming home. Oh, my love. Now, I've watched nothing since I left.

Did anything of consequence happen in your life? Tell me everything. Because I've got a story about a point that I've been doing to tell you. It's a doozy. Doozy, you're first, though. How'd it go down there? 45,000 people came to see her body

at the temple over three days. So creepy. Oh, gosh, she's for sure, Dad. Look at that. I'm going to try and throw an olive in her mouth. Oh, go. At its height, around 10% of Los Angeles citizens were temple members.

Wow. Her son took over and led the church for 44 years. Today, it claims a membership of 8 million worldwide. Dave? What? They don't end. Ah. Religions never end.

But they kind of morph. No, they just keep going. It's 8 million? There's always someone who's like, yeah, that's a good idea. What's it called? Foursquare. It's called Foursquare? It's a great app.

Yeah, I was going to say, like, they were like, where'd you check in, heaven? Fuck. What? What? Sources. Daniel Mark Epstein, Sister Amy, The Life of Amy Semple McPherson, Smithsonian Magazine,

Phoenix Magazine, history.net. And that's it. Jesus. 8 million strong. Like, it's one thing if you're dealing with a history that's from hundreds and thousands of years, it's another thing if you're like, this was within 100 years.

And you're like, yeah, I still believe it. Have you heard of the Mormons? Yeah, I heard about them last week. It just makes no sense. It just takes nothing. No, it takes nothing. I mean, isn't it at the point where it just makes more sense to start a religion?

Isn't that the best career to go into? Right? You could find 30. God, this is how it starts. This is how it fucking starts. This is the natural ending of this podcast, motherfucker. I mean, that's literally what L. Ron Hubbard did. He was like, I should start a fucking religion

and make a bunch of money. Well, because of taxes. Yeah, because you're just like, wow. I mean, well, it'd be a dream if people would believe your bullshit. And he was like, well, there's a bunch of aliens who live in your belly, and then you go to a planet. People are like, OK, go on.

Then you go out there, and then you get rid of the fey tans, and then you come back down, but you've got to pay to this place. Sounds perfect. I've not heard anything that's a strange good. Well, I don't even know what to say. It's going to be hilarious when Gareth becomes born again. Oh, so I woke up near some syrup, and I knew it was a sound from the loathe.

Anything else, David? No. It feels like it's pretty ended. It feels like we're in revelations at this point. Thank you, everybody, for coming out. We appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you, Phoenix.

Stay normal. Thank you. Thank you, Phoenix.