The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 505 - The McLeans and The Hope Diamond

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds are joined by Luke Simmons to examine Ned and Evalyn McLean and the Hope DiamondONLINE SHOW DECEMBER 16SourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

action you are listening to the dollop on the all-things comedy network my name is Dave Anthony good better each week I read a story from American history to there we had a prompter in here my friend an idiot gareth reynolds who has no idea what the topic is gonna be about everybody that's how you do it jack let's do this episode like we're a morning radio show yeah you know which one I am moving out of the amphitheater this Friday night Friday night two for what hot dogs it's amazing that after all these years morning radio has not changed yeah it's still moon cow moon cow man cows the AM guy yeah well he's a

morning shift but moon cow is the late-night shift yeah he gets the you know late commute all the way through midnight yeah he gets the it's mainly for truckers moon cow moon cow and then day cow day cow handles the daytime shift uh-huh yeah it's a good it's a good story the cow radio the only radio for cows everybody here works here as technically a cow you got night cow midnight cow midnight cow drive time cow lunch cow we got dinner cow tonight hoping we're ready for some cow chow was drive time dinner time couch out trap I'm just gonna have you keep going till I put in the music

brunch cow that's right Sunday's early before lunch after breakfast we have brunch cow lunch cow holy shit man cat man comes in from four to six give me that baby talk from on keep going not a fully formed cow but a count of the last it is cat man I'm the fucking hippo guy okay my name's Gary my name's Gary wait is it for fun and this is not gonna come to tiggly-quad guys okay I'm a five-part coefficient now hit him with the puppy you both present sick arguments actually partner all right all right all right David we're out of cow stuff and we should mention we have one of my best friends Luke Simmons sitting

in for this episode wait what oh sorry you should have known that you were I didn't give permission you actually suggested it I did not I said he can come as long as he's not on the look a very talented writer comedian in his own right yeah you've met him a bunch yeah he actually sat on stage once for a show I don't think that's dressed like Connor McGregor and he didn't even have a microphone we just had him sit in a chair that was the mighty mighty boss tones guy I thought that was just my seat yeah no nice seat that's all yeah he had the probably best seat that would be we should do that for one show just put

a chair on stage and have like the usher be like right here right here right here so just about ten feet away from where though it's a great view it's kind of stressful because they notice you fidgeting don't go to the bathroom it's weird for everyone should we do it yeah let's do it okay yeah you ready are you scared yes longtime first time on cow radio morning drive five August 1st 1886 year of our Lord Jesus Christo okay Evelyn Walsh McLean was born in Leadville Colorado great where the lead is great guess yes yeah now we've just moved it to Flint

hmm so her parent that's not you're right it's wrong cleaned up it's right well that's not true but it's wrong to talk about cleaned up we're trying to ignore it if we don't talk about it it's fine there's a guy outside Flint with a megaphone is like we're trying to ignore it let it be her parents were Thomas Walsh and Carrie Bell Reed his mom was a school teacher dad was a carpenter she had one younger brother Vincent V. I. N. S. O. N. which we can't afford the T we pulled our money together we're a T short of Vincent but what are we gonna do he's Vincent it would still be an E it's Vincent it was isn't there a C in

Vincent yeah sometimes when they're making the baby crib they just pick based on what numbers or letters are available sure then they it's like scrabble yeah his son's name Barry oh god with a one R and a J that we cut off the bottom of so it looks like an I I mean his real name is barge it's a Dutch spelling it's B. A. R. J. but we tried to make the J look like an I for Barry what was your what is the boy's name I prefer barge I gotta be honest too late we already I mean you just tell people it's barge that's fine so we're done yeah but thousand dollars what that's a thousand dollars my bank for that because

we got you got to have crib here in within the month what within the month that you wanted it for we got it here I think I live in the worst country where's little barge a little scam well his name's Barry because you guys hmm split the baby call it bear G. Bair G looking for that money so the family moved around they're going from mining town to mining town because Thomas is trying to strike a rich prospecting gold right in Leadsville and he's a carpenter over really you should have gone to Goldsville he's a carpenter who wants to start mining well he is mining but he does he does carpentry but then

he mines it's his hustle his side hustle yeah there's a place called Goldville over that mountain well stay in Leadville and look for gold baby Leadville is where it's gonna be oh look how rusty this is look there's money town keep your eyes focused on Leadsville when Evelyn was 10 Thomas came into her room and said quote daughter I've struck it rich he had oh he had found a mine in Colorado that became one of the richest mines ever discovered wow okay so now they're loaded and they move to watch very your new cribs here can I get it by a new name well listen Marge also I'm 14 I know it's been a while

but dad struck it rich we can afford whatever name you want now Marge we're leaving Leadsville for Loadsville right so the Washington for some reasons were all the rich people are moving at this point they're just like let's all move to Washington columnist Sarah Booth Conroy quote it was a big thing then to come to Washington and become part of the national scene and that's when all these big houses were built it was considered the thing to do to come here to go to parties maybe three parties in one night okay so he plucks out a million dollars for a 60 bedroom house Jesus on Massachusetts now back then

that's just shit that's like one of those 70 million dollar houses now or whatever well 60 bedrooms oh you gotta have a bedroom for every shoe what's the I mean really at what point are you like I don't know like I don't have 60 friends but you know it's great about having 60 rooms is you can go to a different room be like God this is cool I've been here never been here and I've never been in this room now do you live here yeah I do yes oh I'm Rumpelstiltskin hello hello did you come with the house no I just have been living here for a few years I had a horrible situation with an evil woman who took a baby from me

okay well there's a door lock on the outside so I'm gonna lock you in okay let's just let you die and then I'll come back here will be a new surprise in like six months no well be good to feed me but all right I don't think that's gonna happen okay we don't have a kitchen we only have 60 rooms no kitchen as bad moves yeah it was not smart all right no bathroom either yeah but I have some bottoms nope all right so so yeah a million dollars so they ate off gold plates we've got so much who wants gold gravy let's be a crazy stereotype eat your plates everybody so Evelyn grows up just accustomed to

being rich and one day she told her dad that walking to school was quote trying for my dignity so hard yeah so hard so he bought her a blue carriage and two matching horses with a coachman and silk had hat and gloves good good so and how old is she she's like 10 around okay so she already felt that walking was undignified for her yeah at 10 or 12 12 okay yeah she's not wrong not it's terrible right yeah he encouraged her to just spend like crazy on clothes so she's wearing the latest stuff from Paris sure she changed her wardrobe and hairdo is it like a Brewster's million situation does he have like a certain

amount of time to spend this money he's the richest guy in Washington DC so he's just like fuck it I mean whatever the mine the goldmine he found was like fucking crazy okay so and how often did that that was rare yeah that didn't happen okay mostly it was you getting killed by another guy over a hole in the ground better so I did goes in that to what that's my dick hole I've been fucking it well I've been looking for gold oh well you're probably gonna be hard to find I've been really banging that hole it's really big yeah yep a man can walk in there well as a as a as a prospect who's been watching can I

suggest a mine now is that why but he fucks it you work it on a watch what I see I mean I'm I'm the creep here and I'm creeped up by this guy that guy's fucked up really weird not a bad idea I don't have a problem where it grows on you I don't hate the pitch all right well I'm I do I do this with my clothes on dealers choice but okay I'm taking off the clothes and I'm gonna mind this mind all right now chain them up let's take his money oh no you sit god I wouldn't been wanting to be chained up for years so okay so she would change her waterman hairdo for each day of the week oh my god she drank cream de

mynth out of her dad's liquor cabinets she blew her allowance allowance on ermine tails which are like mink tails okay and drove her governesses to quit oh my lord in her carriage in her carriage out her parents sent her to Europe to study French and art but she spent her time buying clothes and escaping chaperones to travel around 1213 yeah she's she's like 14 probably this maybe 15 okay she's right she once bribed her parents to buying her Mercedes by telling them she was in love with a very unpleasant Italian Prince who hasn't done that yeah I just the teen years that's how I got my VW Jetta

I told my mother hey well I don't have to tell you I'm in love with the Prince in Italy so I think I'm gonna go pretty good for us unless of course I have something to get me around around here Jetta would you trade Giuseppe for a Jetta I mean he's everything mother I don't know so when she came back from Europe she had a crazy new hairdo Conor I quote quote it was so complicated she couldn't wash her hair because nobody could put it back together and her father hated it and all the girls of school made fun of her and the head mistress said you just can't do that her father asked well what would it take

you what would it take to make you in a hairstyle be what would take to make you put your hair back like everybody else and Evelyn said jewelry wow so she's learning the game of leverage very early and well just fuck up your hair how does a hairstyle get so complicated that you can't wash it I'm picturing flock of seagulls I'm picturing like multiple like braids going into a be hive yeah yeah well it is around that time bird's in there whatever windmill on top yeah just the whole farm really fully functioning farm on her head oh the goats are fighting so he bought a very expensive necklace to get rid of the

hairdo now she loved jewelry if she didn't have jewelry on she sent that she said that meant she wasn't feeling well and the family should call a doctor damn what's wrong you don't have any rings on oh my god how long she been like this god damn it a day I guess she needs mouth to mouth what a terrible terrible just talk about racing I get wrong well that's what I'm thinking like I would imagine that even if you yeah like you want to spoil I mean I understand being like I'm gonna spoil much out but it's like I mean you're making a real dick but he it's not but like the people who just go out to strike it rich and do

yeah like they don't it's not like they built up something and slowly they literally just walked and found a hole I know I still would be like you can have some of it but I want to just be like you need a carriage I'm gonna say as somebody who's watched a lot of my super sweet 16 episodes it usually turns out pretty well that's true they do ground themselves eventually you need to find the limits yeah and now yeah sure so Evelyn quote it's only when the thing I buy creates a show for those around me that I get all my money's worth I cannot remember when I did not hunger for thrills that is key to all my recklessness

I hate boredom most that's amazing to did like that's not that that is one of the things that happens when you're rich is that you talk about regular person problems and pretend that solving them in your life is unique to you you know where you're just like personally I just don't like to get depressed so I have all it's like yet no we all don't like to get depressed we all just don't afford helicopters like I think the helicopter just got feel I personally hate it when I'm down like I did not handle sadness you know I'm like yep we all we all feel that way yeah and they also they can't they they get no feeling from normal

things right right so they have to do I mean that's why the ebsting thing happened because they just they can't like after all normal sex sorry allegedly allegedly my bad I let you know when to besmirch the good name of Jeffrey Epstein on our show so authors Dan and Leslie Landrigan said Evelyn was quote feisty reckless kind-hearted impetuous a gambler and a show-off did like kind of hard to accidentally get put in there she was like she did have a sight of her that was nice right when they hunted the poor from helicopters it was with tag them and release them thank you he's one of mine get in my hairdo so her

brother Vincent was the same in 1905 he crashed his Mercedes with Evelyn in the car and he died and she was seriously injured the doctors ended up giving her morphine get jewelry get jewelry in an ivy bag now they ended up giving her morphine during her recovery and she became addicted oh dear but they did wean her off okay they took it away she got clean now as far as men Evelyn had a guy that he'd been pursuing her for years Ned McLean they met in a dance class when she was 11 and he was eight okay sure and he was instantly in love interesting so he's one of those kids creepy yeah yeah little too much yeah

where's suit yeah when he became a young man he started proposing at least a dozen times they were engaged at least six times wow on and off you know she would break it off because he's a huge drunk okay and I'm still picturing like eight and nine-year-old so they're getting older okay you're 14 I'm 11 it's time we settled down I want to quit drinking baby I'm almost 10 it doesn't even suit me anymore Ned would drink so much as sometimes he made a sling out of a handkerchief to keep his hand steady for his glass oh my god at 21 when what you were tables invented he's a table does the job of the

there's no way to put this thing as you surrounded by tables Ned just look left or right there's a bar you're at a bar get me my coaster sling Ned I need another sling for my cocktail peanuts he's just got eight slings Ned was that was good-looking he was shy his grandfather became rich as a boiler maker and steamboat builder okay and then Ned's father with another rich guy kind of sucked Cincinnati dry through kickbacks and shakes down and corruptions like that he just they just took over the town and okay great they like what happened like what's happening with America but that's it yeah I like

that we've built into a bigger version yes and then when the city was in such bad shape that riots broke out he left for DC I don't like these people are real jerk offs about money to be honest there he masked a larger fortune going into utilities and banking he founded DC's trolley system he owned the Cincinnati inquire in the Washington Post part of the Cincinnati red stocking so he's everything fucking and this is Ned's father Ned's father these two richest people exactly they are just rich as shit and they have a connection which is that we don't like to be touched by pores and that's right

Ned's mother was the daughter of Edward F. Beale a very famous guy a military hero explorer diplomat friend of Ulysses Grant so they're it's just all there right and that pedigree was something Evelyn liked right military heroes sure yeah so Ned also obviously raised a spoiled rich kid which is probably why he and Evelyn got along so well right they were children of DC's two richest families high society kids and inseparable it's funny if like if you're his dad to like find out that your son is double-slinging it at bars he's getting so hammered I really tried to raise him properly where does he doing he has things for his drunk hands

he's an inventor yeah we call him puppet man Ned's Ned he apprenticed as a cub reporter at the post as a cub report like a brand-new reporter okay sure okay when they're hustling you know like hustling right stories okay he would drive to assignments in his huge expensive Packard Roadster which like the weekly salary the weekly upkeep was like more than a reporter's I've seen this on set before a little bit where it'll be like someone has like a you know father or something in the so there's yeah a very successful person's child is like a PA I mean they came in their

beam nicer everything than me you know what I mean like I said I got most of your coffees but I spilled yours in my Lambo so he was big in the DC night life obviously he's a boozer sure he's the dashing bachelor at the time okay he's a dashler Evelyn finally agreed to marry Ned when he promised he would quit drinking uh-huh that's fine this always works it's never not what is the way to do it that's the number one way to get absolutely like a crash diet but for love we haven't discussed any timeline so that's a good move yeah right that's right yes I'll get sober for a day at a point in the future she wants a

big society wedding Ned's mom wants Ned what's the wait a few months in years mountain his mom wants to have it in in Bart Harbor up in Maine but Ned talks Evelyn into a loping okay wow and they they go to Colorado and they get married on July 22nd 1908 she's 22 he's 19 okay society pages gushed over the new couple and their I just I it's amazing to me how it how we still do this how we still like elevate never changed you know and and celebrate the level of affluence that these people have we should be like yeah like we should have pitchforks most of our days yes to broad them closer to each other

get them in a pen so they mate these two they're made yeah it's just like snow Panthers he's in he's in her everybody these are the only two surviving rich in Lettsville it's our last two Kardashians we're trying to get them to mate so they get married and then their dads give fine give them each a hundred thousand dollars okay two hundred thousand dollars okay to use on a three month European and Middle Eastern honeymoon my god that's six point five million so they got they got the equivalent six point five million to take a three month vacation six million dollar trip can you imagine trying to spend six no

dollars in that amount no I'd be very hard yes I guess can we just buy the boat and then we'll give it back later we really are we have too much just crash the boat into the shore and just walk off yeah the new one all boats you crash and we step off by a new boat yes every day I will take this boat so they went in in a packer can I shoot you and kill you for this much money okay great take it they had a Mercedes and they had a camel caravan for part of it Evelyn quote one day in Leipzig we lost patience with the fact that we only had one Mercedes and went overnight to Paris and bought an extra one we just didn't

have enough Mercedes you understand how are you going to get by with one Mercedes we look ridiculous how can we drive over all the poor people and we damaged it very badly when we hit the camel but still they managed to blow through all the money wow and when they arrived in Paris at the end of the trip no they didn't have enough money to pay the hotel bill what Evelyn quote so I cabled my father and he sent me fresh credit and his love then I went to Cartier's that is the way I always get in trouble when I have some money in my hands they were lovely and of course they knew me and dad and I bought diamonds

it's like an Instagram story she bought the Star of East Diamond $120,000 sure and then dad were broke again and dad will you cable more money I want to buy the Weston bad news the credit is stale I'll need some fresh please love you she smuggled the diamond through customs to avoid paying taxes wow I love that everyone hates taxes they just got rich out of the rich allowed to hate they just start it's what it's hard cut you set up and then we pay taxes then they get tax yes it is stealing the diamond is so large that guests at her house called it the carafe stopper I mean that all it

just also shows you how it's like you'll stop using your career I think it just fills up the top of the neck of the bottle it's like I'm imagining that baseball diamond from the movie yeah yeah sure I mean that's I think that's a roll thinking about diamond from the movie no doubt that one now Ned was made the Washington Post business manager even though he's pretty clueless right and who better to have like tell you how to succeed in business than a guy who's been given everything yes yeah that's right here's what I did I took a ton of my dad's money and just played around with it okay look at it we're

fucked yeah that's yeah here's how to take a six million dollar jaunt the mistake a lot of people make is paying taxes on the hundred and twenty thousand dollar diamond you have when you could just shove it inside the dead camel you hit with the third Mercedes so his father gave him a thousand dollars a month allowance thirty thousand a day right so that's a lot of yes and also at some point and no more allowance I would say but he always ran out daddy I need more pocket money he always ran out so that he would go to Evelyn's dad and borrow money can I have a pocket money from you yes he get like seven 10k from him I

would hate to do stuff for it may I have more to use for things I love why don't more people do this I just wrote a column about it in the paper and everyone was very upset ask when you need money ask papa in December 19 of the line the acquaintance had a son and they named him Vincent okay same fucking spelling which is not how you spell they could afford the team it's not even a name I can't know it's not he was dubbed by the press nobody else quote the hundred million dollar baby due to his future financial prospects what a horrible life for a baby and he had a reserve price that you could purchase them for a hundred

million that's right yeah but yeah if you have it yeah so this freaked out the McLean's who were worried about kidnapping right cuz kidnapping was a thing yeah no I mean that's what the papers are doing they're like the most kidnappable baby right here is a picture of him and this is his home address boy anyone should take this thing they'll make a killing say he was pampered he was very guarded he had nurses he had servants he would get tutors he had guards he slept in a golden crib which was a gift from King Louis Leopold of Belgium who might be the worst human being ever yeah I agree you can't this

child will be an asshole I mean you are you are without a doubt yeah he does no chance that's what rich people should do is they should have a poor part of the house where you feel poor and that's we should raise your children and at like 17 be like hey it's not bad see so hard it's like now you character now you can have some money or counterpoint put them in a gold crib from Leopold and hang a mobile that's all severed hands and feet from that's good to the diamond mines that he ran to pay for the gold wow yeah he's fucked up don't play me I was raised in the rich part of the house alright that makes sense so they moved into

friendship which is an enormous mansion built Fortnette's father and became known for constantly throwing lavish parties okay so French they come to friendship the Boston Globe quote they're oh they're one saw senators judges diplomats cabinet members generals and admirals famous personalities of every kind so they're the fucking place it's the party they're always thrown parties what else they're gonna do right that's true that's true when I've watched the real housewives show before you know been in relationships watching the show sure yeah not you but never on my own but maybe a little bit on my own

and maybe it's maybe it's maybe maybe I'm the one pushing to watch it when I'm in the relationship all the spin-off maybe the whole yeah the prop what I'm trying to try to make is a New York City I'm trying to make it at Orange County the point I'm trying to make is is that if you watch any of these and I don't really know what they are but let's say you're watching Salt Lake City or you watching the Real Housewives of Miami or even the classic Beverly Hills or even Orange County I mean there's a lot to choose from not New York okay honestly Bethany enough but when you're watching these shows it's again I don't

test yeah it's just the worst of everything sure all they do is have parties every episode is about someone throwing a party and the drama and they feel real-world stress over the party they just have real problems with the ice sculpture well yeah it's that sort of shit where they're just like I can't believe she wore clogs like the littlest thing at a party like a dire thing but it's all they can do is just take really extravagant expensive trips and just have these fucking parties and stuff like that and that is basically all you do yeah again allegedly I've not seen these programs but the Google search tells

you that sure and now I see you're wearing clogs was this how you fell I just hate Lisa so special at one years Eve party 40 cases of champagne were drunk before dinner they had 2,000 socialites at another party after seeing their ballroom because they had a ballroom in the mansion Idaho senator William Bora said quote this is what brings on revolutions yeah and thank you this is what they guillotine folks for a stop no really your head should be on a bike so you are charming Evelyn's father also bought them a big single-style house named Briarcliff it originally been built for

Montgomery Sears now they consider tearing it down and building something new but instead decided to put in a bowling alley ballroom a nursery suite and a wing for Evelyn's mother a wing well it's hard to know if you should tear it down or put in a bowling alley yeah I know I know we've all faced that quandary yeah I only recently realized that everyone has to name boats and now I'm getting that yeah there's a level of house which also gets a good friendship yeah oh yeah yeah yeah my house is named the asshole the dirty ass Thomas Thomas welcome to my home the revolutionary balls wait eyes are

naming welcome to castle to anus I don't want I'm not coming to your party well got here let me show you the back door that's what I want you to walk through I don't like this so Briarcliff was burgled at one point and the cops thought it might have been a plot to kidnap baby Vincent okay obviously this is their greatest fear for sure yeah maybe live in a smaller place and he's already constantly being watched by armed guards a nice life to be in your gold crib surrounded by gunned men that's right when Evelyn and Ned thought Vincent was lonely they rented a child from some parents to be

his friend you there you stupid people I'm sorry poor face yeah you there fine you give us your child would like to rent it to play with our son no let your child go please it's our boy we need will be best friends with the best child on earth he'll be fine we'll give you a safety deposit in case we don't bring him back yes there's a chance we keep him how much would that cost the son how much would it cost for you to be done with him forever I can't put it our intentions are to bring him back we're just asking if we forget we're thinking firewood or something what's the price what is it do you speak English

no I know I do yes do you five million dollars five million yes great no problem there you are people fucking what's this child's name I don't know he's not mine we're gonna call him ace and we don't even care who you are come on ace okay so God rich people are out of their fucking mind I mean I'm also trying to picture like how do you like you know you take like a regular kid to like a gold cribbed house it's not like a regular kids gonna be like cool or just whichever parent gets the offer first breaking through the other honey okay I'm gonna it's gonna sound crazy at first why but where's the child

well that's the thing what would you say our child is worth if I you had to ballpark absolutely everything I've got me every I've got most of that I got almost everything you know it's a good deal the longer you see what we get his clothes still they weren't dicks about yeah they didn't like them so in 1910 they're in Paris sure obviously and jeweler Pierre Cartier Cartier Cartier Cartier came to their hotel room to show them the hope diamond and excuse me I had something I think you might want to see hello how are you okay I want to show you something okay so got good news for you too okay look

you didn't tell me you bought a kitten where's the cat penis I just want to touch it quickly that's just a pillow oh my god I'm sorry I don't really know what cats are so the diamond you want to see it let me pull it out of this box you know I love you so much I fuck you on the car later right here the French scare me to Cartier no I see yeah nice some blood on that from my teeth but other than that this diamond is ready to roll so the hope diamond is the most amazing gem in the world it's 47 carrots it's blue and it's cursed okay this is a tales from the crypt yeah so it is the largest diamonds in the world you can see it's blue is just one of a kind and it

councils a curse at no extra charge so Cartier explains how the curse it affected previous owners the truth there's a little mmm but this is what this is what is believed a gem merchant named Tavernay stole it from that statue of the Hindu goddess Sita at 80 he was torn apart and eaten by wild dogs wow how long did he have between stealing and being I don't know I mean a while I don't think an 80 year old man steals it but yeah yeah wait at a long time he's like I'll tell you what I don't think that there is such thing as a curse after all oh no seven dogs when Princess de Lambeau had it she was beaten to death by a

French mop Marie Antoinette owned it and we know what happened there yeah everything's fine Sultan Abdul Hamid bought it and then lost his throne and his concubine who wore it died young so everybody who has it dying and if someone came to my room and told me I was like I don't want this here oh I would not be look how pretty it is I would be like sorry worth it if I had it every time I saw dogs I'd be like run dogs Evelyn wasn't into it but not because of the curse or the insane price she didn't like the setting right interesting let's let the rental child hold it where my mom and dad don't

worry about it hey you're gonna hold this pretty blue thing can we have it set in his skull like right at the top of his forehead oh like a third eye it'll be lovely who are we talking about you oh yeah we're gonna put a diamond in your head it'll be there forever I don't and you'll follow me around oh yeah well you yeah no I remember he told me all right so not much of a lie for all right that's good one sorry Vincent your friend is getting reused as a diamond setting kill him kill him in front of me I want a new boy so a few months later Cartier came to DC and he reset the diamond it's still cursed and he let Evelyn keep it

for a weekend okay well you know yeah sure she put it on her dresser quote for ours that that was a guy work for it right yes I would love to put some clothes on you but all right just put it on there you go thank you it might roll off if I move yeah it's okay okay just stay right there if it rolls off you die oh interesting yes great work quote for ours that Jules stared at me at some point during the night I began to want the thing so Ned agrees to buy the hope diamond problems yes he agrees to buy the hope diamond for 154,000 Evelyn didn't think the hope diamond would bring her bad luck although she was

a little bit concerned but she didn't believe in it okay she's like meh right so they included a buyback option if they thought the diamond was bringing them misery then they could return it how it works like we're done can I get like a curse a curse buyback yeah how much to recur reverse curse what's that fee so there's just a small restocking fee of 10,000 right get all your money back right I just want to get rid of the curse yeah it might not be gone right we don't know if you give it up if if you give it up the curse might still be there I don't do you have dogs I know by design that a lot of them follow me

though mm-hmm there's mobs walking around from time yeah yeah so you're probably gonna die mm-hmm but let's do this great I'm not even sure we landed I don't either doing it yeah you're probably dead okay hmm good talk yeah good I guess on your end I'm still a little like closure is not there yeah I'm looking for oh how about this can I can I broker something here we'll throw in a pack of dogs a bunch of dogs out my god we have a we have a whole pack of dogs rotten wireless oh god haven't eaten in a week oh no yeah it's gonna be fine feels more by design than curse I'm gonna paint you to look like a ham I don't think

that's fair it's what it is get the hand paint so right so they can return whatever they want Evelyn didn't believe in the curse but she's cautious like I said quote I must confess I know better and yet knowing better I believe by that I mean I never let my friends or child touch it that feels like what a rich person would do anyway that feels like a good scapegoat to get people to not get their fingerprints all over right yeah it's such a weird yeah because it's not the rich person moved to be like if anyone's cursed it's me but that's just like what a selfish person I bet you there's no curse she made this all up

just so people wouldn't get their fingerprint and the curse is already making you look very bloated when you tried to put it on so it's just like I should run you should do a lot running away so her mother so she calls her mother-in-law to tell her she bought it and when Evelyn tells her she's purchased the Hope Diamond there's a friend there also who's listening and she almost faints and yells out it is a cursed stone I don't believe in that and I'm not gonna let my friends touch it so shut up they try to talk Evelyn out of it doesn't work she's bought it she's in yeah soon after Ned's mother came down

with a terrible cold Ned flies her doctor back from North Carolina who's on vacation done she dies wow and then the friend dies right after oh dear yeah okay were they sneaking little well they got a little yappy like don't buy the diamond in the diamonds like fuck you shut your goddamn mouth I like that the diamond like corners people she's not around understand you've been talking a lot of shit yeah I'm the Hope Diamond say to my goddamn shiny face I just said you were a little cursed oh really yes because now you're about to die call it the dogs you're only got camels bring in the camels eat this lady alive your

Aunt Beth was curbed and eaten by camels Jesus Christ yeah what a terrible curbed yeah curbs and then the camels came over and ate yeah once she was put out I tell you I really thought they were vegetarians camels yeah oh no they store a lot of meat in those humps okay yeah those humps are mainly bacon and they eat people they love people that's the thing people can't think you gotta know about camels they're very good in deserts they had a hydrate a lot before any journey they love to spit and they will eat a human like it's a lasagna I guess I just never I've never seen that I'm the humps are basic they are

basically I saw a whole Edinburgh thing on camels and I never saw the David Attenborough is a camel in a man suit yeah okay I yeah yeah now that makes sense you read bright part I am bright part yeah weird answer yeah so so right she dies and her friend dies and the diamond is kept in the mansion during the day and then taken to a safe deposit box box at the company building at night just seems so dumb yeah Ned bought a special car just to drive the diamond back and forth and it had armed guards and it's trouble relating to these people what it's so fucking crazy that this is a thing you want you have a

diamond car yeah a car for a diamond you shouldn't be here part of me feels like maybe it's just the genius way to distract from the hundred million dollar baby yeah which one do you go for the rich baby or the diamond car well you can't go for both or the babies in the diamond car that's just diamond code name but yeah I I mean it just at some point it's like I don't it's cursed it's extremely expensive and it has to have its own car to go away every night it's like you kind of own it but it's also kind of like it's really weird yeah so after her mother-in-law's death Evelyn had the hope diamond blessed in a church

that'll do it I'll take care of it yeah as the minister did it lightning hit a tree across the street and the tree fell down get the fuck out actually but actually you guys get the fuck out right now do you understand me leave the church now if anyone should object to the blessing of this diamond speak oh God okay that's the big guy you know that was actually Christ Jesus walked off the crucifix public of the host the hope diamond increases their fame and in turn that increased their concern someone we kidnapped Vincent wait what do they do can you just go somewhere go away you could afford to guess what guys

we put the curse diamond on our hundred million dollar babies so you don't want to take him you'd get a curse yeah he watched he Vincent's watched 24 7 by nurses and bodyguards there's just always people around Evelyn's father died and she's grief-stricken and she turned her old friend morphine wow okay and once again she's addicted and she's also drinking a lot okay and Ned's like I can Ned's are Ned's also always plowed oh yes I was he's never stopped I'm still I still plan to eventually get sober as promised we are married and someday we will also be married at sober yeah yeah as I said we've been married for a

decade yeah but it's coming the whole sober thing you but we were you're supposed to be sober I am going to be that's the cool thing like something we can look forward to on our older age well we'll be dead because of the hope diamond might be when I sober up when I die I'm we don't know I like I said I just I'm drinking when I die baby it's not the best time to quit when your dad has just been torn apart by dogs which again I'm sorry about so yeah so she's drinking he's drinking she is so fucked up that she's she's not recognizing her own guests at party parties wow and so to deal with this Ned has a sanitarium

built on the top floor of friendship where she could recover about name tags no just build some name tags just build a sanitarium on top of the house I mean what else would you do you know what my wife is sick why don't they build a hospital in the house I mean you have too much money oh wait she's not sick she's drunk we'll just build a sanitarium doctor how bad is it well she didn't recognize almost half of the 2,000 guests we're just gonna lock the door and keep you up here tonight she so she's in the house so she ends up just meandering around the mansion and she thinks that lizard monsters are crawling all over

their bath so she's just junked up drunked up junked and drunked thinking lizards are gonna kill her so but eventually they got this diamond yes eventually they she gets better it was served in a monkey paw I don't know how much better she gets like no one really I could find no one went into it but it's a pretty low bar functional again I think she's still drinking drinking I don't know if she's doing morphine but she could have been like she's doing less she's just not seeing Lizard monsters yeah yeah look we just want to get you a place where you're not seeing Lizard the only thing I'm trying to quit is seeing

lizards oh we can just move those out those were there to guard the baby in the jewel oh yes Lizards out it's been a pleasure to work with you oh I'm sorry the lizard monsters were real yes I hired it's so great thank you for coming thank you for coming it's sad that it has to end this way but if you ever had been sure other needs yeah we'd love to be apart all of us were just really informed a bit of our own family here and I'd like to personally apologize for eating your dad that's fine that's fine a couple of me steps I mean we knew going we messed up a couple of yeah I mean there's a boxers we can go in can we

just eat you before we go okay what do you have anything lined up what's your next next thing we're well we're not sure exactly but we're I mean we're gonna go try to live with some families in Dubuque okay yeah they're trying to freak a daughter out because she's engaged to an Italian man okay well that makes sense well have fun with that yeah you know but it's been a fun project yeah I mean yeah good time really nice any who I'm sober so hmm yeah well for you I mean we did we did goodbye how about if I just rub your belly so Ned's father John R came down with jaundice and incurable hiccups jaundice okay and

sorry the last party in curable hiccups it's a nightmare I'm sorry these are chronic hiccups I would a hundred percent believe it was diamond related if someone I knew came down with it like I would also the doctor I'd be like what are you saying he has forever hiccup medically speaking your father will never stop hiccuping they're fatal we think he has about 19,000 hiccups left before he passes oh my god I just got yeah I can't work from the doctor uh-huh yeah turns it boom no sorry didn't deal with God damn it have you tried holding your breath yeah no that's literally if anyone says that again I'm gonna like lose

my mind I feel like I could have a record life you can't I don't want to hear me love me Jesus Christ the first is really fucking nightmare love your father come here I love you son there's something I have to tell you when you were a little boy I hired an actor to play me because I was please please please this kid close I have to tell you it's a real dog if you say that I'm in too many times oh my god a dog shows her perfect timing oh that was great so so yeah so he becomes paranoid the dad the dad also becomes on top of hiccups and jaundice so he's a yellow hiccuping paranoid

yellow hiccup man and he barricades himself inside of his mansion because he thinks Ned is trying to poison him and if Ned goes over there he threatens to shoot him okay so Ned hires the Pinkerton's oh my god to help get him safely into the mansion where he patches things up with his dad wow so he has a Pinkerton like entourage hasn't done that when you're not getting along with him to go see his hiccuping yellow dad that's barricaded himself in a room that's right tail is all this time I mean the Pinkerton's open that door they're like he

was fucking serious I thought he was being like hyperbolic crazy but this guy's actually yellow hello I'm quite yellow now it's gotten worse so he dies on June 9th 1960 he's gonna hiccup for about another two years post death the will does not leave the post in the inquire to Ned instead it's placed in a trust oh interesting so he did not trust that well his estate could not be split up until 20 years after the death of his grandchildren wow okay he clearly thought Ned was unfit to run right which is news to Ned because he had always told Ned for years he would say to Ned I'm holding the post just for you wow

like and then he the will comes he's like I didn't fucking you were a lot of lies were told to you so Ned's very upset sure he's only gonna get an allowance so they soon like regular time yeah they sue and Ned become ends up becoming co-trustee of the state who is dead trust okay the estate trust and and I assume the whatever you sue the will whoever I'm suing his grandchildren I'd like them all dead yes babies I could just kill the kids and then I get the fucking money and it's just waiting out that 20-year clock we're gonna let the kids play with the hope diamond for the afternoon so he sues he gets he becomes

co-trustee of the estate and also editor in chief of the two newspapers okay so really the will meant nothing yeah I mean basically he said my dad was crazy and you can't really argue with that because he's John's hiccuping and yeah locked in his house you know I want to make some changes to the will the Pinkerton's will back me up and when have they ever not been trusted yeah so he actually steps in becomes a little bit responsible at first he turned the post into from a very decent newspaper into a reactionary soft mark one by reporters great Ned doesn't care about politics at all which it's a DC paper so that's not

great he loves bad he loves baseball hunting and horse racing he owns so many horse races that he bought land in Virginia and built a stable okay training track so and I there I hunt horses with Babe Ruth my perfect day authors Dan and Leslie Lennigan quote McLean was a difficult man charming suspicious changeable a falling down drunk a plausible liar and a wanton womanizer but really took takes a turn for the last few yeah like he's gay yeah great here great attitude beats his friends takes money real jerk off I do love the potpourri yeah descriptions yeah yeah so he's seen in DC as like a kind-hearted

buffoon he's naive a little bit of a playboy they love that there how long until he has a show on CNN Sunday soon so they have two more kids and a daughter they have two more boys and a daughter okay Ned and Evelyn start fighting a lot okay at one point she charters a yacht in a rage and he sends 60 telegrams until she comes back right yacht chartering in a rage just you shouldn't have access to just I just hate rich people yeah it's like you can't make a getaway in a yacht like me from I need a yacht now hurry hurry hurry Jesus Christ they're really fucking terrible like these this is sounds a lot

like two guys who have never slammed the door on a yacht behind that's their right that's true right so they start hanging out with Alice Roosevelt oh boy yeah episode on and her husband at their house Alice described it as a quote a general atmosphere of waistcoats unbuttoned feet on the desk and spittoons alongside so it's just a lot of casual hanging out drinking and partying and spitting and spitting well spitting was a thing yeah I know forever yeah we've covered part and it's coming back it's coming back finally this is where Ned met senator Warren Harding

uh-huh Warren was married to Florence she always badged him and she had an angry voice and she'd poke until he exploded in rage and yelled quote god damn it shut up and then she shut up for a while that was their relationship okay yes love is crazy Warren kept whiskey in his office desk drawer and he and Ned hit it off right yeah they've whiskey in there could be a drawer whiskey yes in 1919 despite it was in something it wasn't just sloshing around there on its own no no it was in a flash like a punch ball you just dip a straw and put two cups in here wipe the bottom I love whiskey I love whiskey I hate my wife I

hate your wife in 1919 despite people always watching him Vincent got away from his valet and ran into the street was hit by a car and killed well what so he was just hammered without his valet no this is the boy oh no Vincent oh no I'm so sorry I hit your child I got distracted by that diamond he was wearing oh my case the most guarded kid in the fucking world let him I mean I mean oh my god yeah I mean it's terrible that he died but I also I do feel for the valet oh yeah it was probably like you know I've told so am I gonna stay on here or you need to run into the woods and dig a hole and get in that hole and

you'll live there from now on go I gotta get it weekly check you will get nothing go live in a hole now that'll be your life you understand can I know can I get a letter of recommendation for your next what job yes you killed the you I didn't kill him yes you did he was a runner yeah he's a child here's a crazy watch him here's a crazy idea as the driver of the car maybe we swap lives parent we parent trap him yeah with the driver and the valet now I'm the valet on the driver there's no child to pay there's no parent trap there'll be more think we can find another child you bought one before replacing the

child what if we ran to look alike yes now we're finally getting somewhere god damn it for a while this conversation was directionless now we're talking about buying a child to make that child a one that looks similar it's very close and and will answer to Vincent I mean basically I got you a new child like a better one like an upgrade where the hell are we gonna get a kid we just buy one like we do we don't have enough time one of us might have to dress up like the kid and we might have to spray paint his tail if it's a different color great well I think we're gonna good spot matters so so the

claims that were at the Kentucky Derby when this happened many now are like look the hope diamonds a fucking curse yeah I mean what you give in Evelyn keeps it close by usually talk under sofa cushions what that's where you keep a diamond hope diamond treated like a quarter that fell through your couch she war there's a few nickels some quarters the hope diamond some gamma tums some grass oh there's the remote there's the remote we found the apple remote she wanted parties with the star of East Diamond and another diamond I would not wear diamonds what it looks like she's from another planet yeah she was

crazy from Krypton two of the curses cancelled each other the third is kind of a free-floating curse and I just want everyone to know I'm wearing a cursed diamond so if you want to live leave a circle around me she wore to the races while swimming on an arctic fishing trip she even wore it during some minor surgery once I'll just put it here rest the diamond on my appendix and then we won't have to take it out I mean what in the fuck it just is I mean it is just it is obviously just affluence out of control yes yeah so it's someone who just cannot recognize reality and and has no I think I would say

has no idea of self like doesn't know what she yeah I mean I look obviously like a you know I don't believe a thing or an item can be cursed however if someone told me it was cursed and then everyone around me started dying I would be like I think yeah it's not great I'm not I'm not gonna wear it anymore it's not a being like oh but I want it for post-op or potentially the people who are rich enough to buy it inevitably are at the top of the tower and they're like where can I go but up down all the way down oh it must be a curse yeah Marie and my choices me into that is not I know if it weren't for that nasty diamond she

sometimes put it on her great day and he wore it around the fuck sometimes I hang it over his tail to cover his butthole when he gets a heart on I put it on there it was said I don't believe this but it was some people said Vincent had it in his pocket when he was hit by the car sure which he could have but they were at the Kentucky Derby yeah I bet it was in the safe still but if it wasn't I could see him pulling it off from the sofa we wouldn't know if the kid had the diamond I think yeah yeah I would they'd be like oh my god no I put it on the horse that broke its leg during the first round at the Derby so I can

prove it was elsewhere you can prove it so it's love carrots and so after the death and because he's friends with Harding Ned throws himself into politics good good good he got the perspective we need to be engaged and understanding to the common that's right he helps Harding using his news I'm just like you when I have someone who doesn't really feel connected to the world I build a sanitarium at the top of my castle we're all suffering in the same way just how you want some health care I know what that's like I built a hospital at my home and we have to tackle the greatest threat facing our nation diamond

curses we all agree how what will we do what will we do to stop diamond curses and why do people have to pay for their own bowling alley maintenance thank you we need a stimulus that says these lanes who get greased on our behalf what we came up with is that bowling alleys will be tax-free all right hard again me hard again come on everyone so he helps him with his papers the McLean's would were often by his side during campaign stops and Harding wins okay and Ned is rewarded by being put in charge of the inaugural festivities sure but his plans are fucking crazy over the top fancy huge yeah and there

your dragon budget for the event just so I'm sort of trying to get the nuts and bolts but Warren ran on austerity how much gold do you think everyone will eat per person all of it okay great Warren had run on austerity so the other guys in his party like dude you can't fucking do this this is crazy so Warren finally goes okay no inaugural they just do it at the White House with a small reception sure what is a couple friends in a dragon nothing crazy and then Harding puts friends in his cabinet and Ned was made I want it let us out here you son of a bitch you stand there I'm the president I've nailed it shut and you're

not coming out of there until you agree I'm the best one in the friend group so Ned was made special agent of the Justice Department he got a codebook an ID badge an ID card a badge instead he was gonna play in a party and instead he's like you know no party do you just want to be the head of one of the law can I be a fancy cop yes I have no experience that's what we love about you that's right you're gonna understand what it's like to need to I'm gonna shoot this guy well great don't get Jesus Christ I'm a cop I can do that all right let's not just shoot everyone like shot I shot a boy I'm a cop bang oh someday

you'll fit right in no but he prosecutes me I'm really loving that he deputized the lizard people though that's working out gangbusters so Ned is still a party boy obviously sure it was rumored he drugged a post reporter and took him on an ocean liner because he wanted company on the trip what hey what the hell yeah am I the hell's going on we're going what Morocco Ned yes what the hell are you doing here well I we're going to vote yeah what the fuck where the fuck is my family are my family on the boat no no they're at home I didn't they shouldn't be here it's for us it's the last thing I remember was you

said you needed a moment of my time and then we had a drink uh-huh I drew I put drugs inside the drink and knocked you out what why and then I had my body guards carry you here and now you're on a boat I need a friend I'm going to Morocco I don't want to do it alone well we're gonna get to know each other I what do you know about lizard people it's not a good foundation to start a friendship oh this is how most of my friendship start classically it's usually work friends you know like Jim friends and then drugged ocean liner friends I I I drugged him to yeah he drug me and probably to the gym yeah

that's true there's a lot of guys here from the post where was the sports reporter who's running the paper they tried to kill us hey we got to get you into bowling league it's a tax write-off thing mainly but you'll fit right in I have a bowling alley on the boat and another gutter ball so in bars Ned enjoyed knocking guys hats off and stomping on them and then his bodyguards would wait and then reimburse the hey now you can go buy another one this game is awesome everybody wins I'm in charge of legal affairs so Ned and the president became drinking buddies obviously they would

lead the Secret Service on car chases right they watch the work shows at Gady burlesque from a concealed box Ned wants a concealed box bro listen put us in the coffin Ned wants peed in a fireplace at the White House what he owned a president that was Trump but he did it daily yeah yeah how long until you guys are getting the urinal he owned a house on H Street that connected to the McLean mansion next door and he rented it to Attorney General Herity Harry Doherty so it's a party house with a regular delivery of confiscated liquor because it's prohibition oh wow right and businessman came to buy political

favors don't already estimated they had up to 500 visitors a day oh my god we're gonna need help getting this liquor off the streets we can't just pour it in this into the sewers we do it always we need men to drink process it the level of drinking during prohibition was insane arguably the same amount of drinking or maybe yeah I don't think it's because it became yeah right like part of me thought like maybe some people like damn it but everybody was just like we'll just keep drinking we'll just keep going right and then nicknamed this house the love nest yeah so that means there's fucking going on yeah there were two poker games

a week at the White House or one of Ned's houses Florence made drinks and cooked for the gamblers since Warner Ned Ned love golf so much Ned built a nine whole golf course at friendship and the sod was imported from Switzerland oh my god neither was very good at golf so Ned hired a full-time tutor for $10,000 a week oh my god it's just too many the staff is too much fucking rich people yeah I mean but this is on a level where I mean this is just unreal there's no different the bezels go on the fucking moon no but I mean as far as like jet there's general there's general being rich which is again I mean it should be

more stabilized the balance but then there is this level where it's just like you know like you I mean I'm not saying we need to blow people up but we need to make some a lesson or example at some point sure say this isn't okay I'm waiting for Ned to pitch that they call themselves the regulators I'll be Ned dog you're war and G it's a thing it's all club well happy the anti-slun league notice Ned it was a big part of the president's life and wrote a public warning that was published in auto piano weekly yeah which obviously is where he put a lot of important stories like that hey we need a political column for the

we're pretty booked in the magazine this month the article wise we are loaded there's a lot a lot of fun stuff going on in here well what are their articles you have an auto piano weekly we have tempo oh no that's a trying to fix the the clicks on your metronome absolutely that's a lot of it obviously got a lot of pictures of pianos we do a whole thing on wires yeah piano wires yeah you know better you better be with those piano wires and piano yeah no I know yes there's a lot of that we actually in this edition are breaking down every key what we'd name it and what its purpose is okay that takes a while

because I don't know do you know how many keys are on a piano for 40 over a thousand and so we're doing that then obviously we have mr. autotune every month we have a guy who's really good at that and we have him in a suit or something is a big picture it's a layout uh-huh nice guys are excited to get that we do a lot of stuff talking about the pedals which pedals better you know out of the three we take what's your circulation we have well you know how many are we making or how many people are subscribing to the publication how many people are subscribed outside of the people who work for it yeah and their

families yeah and their friends yeah and the families yeah yeah there's not anyone because this is a paper for a family oh yeah this is a family paper for piano people uh-huh yeah automatic piano automatic piano people which is very different than the standard piano yeah yeah so maybe we can do something the next five months really tight right now it really is it's nuts it's nuts and now this article called Tommy go to your room what is that that's a letter I wrote to my son he was being a real asshole if I'm being totally honest I found out he was putting his vegetables at the window at dinner not eating him yeah so this is

my way of telling him through the publication that he needs to go upstairs okay it off yeah yeah so this is piano related it seems like a family newsletter it is a paper for piano auto people family members yeah are you the only auto piano people family I'm really the only one who's doing any of it the rest of the family doesn't love it does anyone else in the family read it any would read it I don't they don't really get it they have it they're giving it yeah they're giving it yeah they're giving it yeah and they're told to read it yeah yeah so it's a big thing it's huge yeah it's great no it sounds really

thank you thank you anyway I need this letter publisher the president oh here we are back to square one it's gonna be a while so this article in auto piano weekly mentioned Ned by name and said he was supposed to have the quote most extensively stock seller in Washington wow so Ned's not exactly subtle yeah I mean it's about his drinking egregious yes right he has a pet seal that he gives whiskey to every day well I don't want to by the way there's a lot of people who have made the accusations that I have a pet seal and you do and I do not I do not and he certainly doesn't drink whiskey now he's a scotch man let's

dig into what you just said Ned had a pet seal that he drank whiskey with yes right okay now as far as laws go there are none mm-hmm okay great just want to make sure no done yeah whiskey is just like ocean water they had a small house in Palm Beach and when he was there a climate for a seal he gave whiskey to a trained bear and then took it to a dance hall and tried to get women to dance with it and they wouldn't so he finally gave them money so they would dance with the drunk bear I'm sorry you had to be stopped earlier and you weren't but so uh-huh it's really on a level that's not okay yeah yeah yeah yeah you can't super

not you just like these are all things independently you couldn't do and this is over the course of one night that he got a bear drunk yeah and when people are like holy shit there's a bear here he's like relax I'll pay to dance with it he made like a bear strip club kind of yeah well the girls you want a private dance the girl touching the bear they didn't want to dance with it because they were like it's a drunk bear and then he's like a thousand dollars okay I'll dance with a bear don't worry it's drunk he's not gonna make proper decisions right now the bears hammered he's not gonna know what he's doing this was reported

widely like all over the country even the piano magazine yeah and then there's of course plenty rumors about sex workers and ladies coming to the love nest with the drunk bear no drunk bear's got we're gonna do a little more than there you're asleep let's go to see the bear let's go hey what's this what's this uh-huh you me cubby friends the bear mm-hmm we go upstairs we'll get our clothes off and will the bear keeps his fur on he's not gonna touch you he's gonna watch you in the bear to be clear yeah nothing weird you I'll go into my little box that I go and watch movies in it's a coffin with eye holes cut out

and it'll be stood up properly not in the way that you would do it at a funeral yeah Christ yeah whiskey can't we get another couple ladies who might sleep with his bear so bear killed two women put it up your friend other two so and then Evelyn are fighting and the paper's are writing about it then on August 2nd 1923 the president suddenly died of a cerebral hemorrhage wow touch the diamond yes right the McLean to bring it on the back of my neck for a minute the kinds of very upset they leave DC they tell Florence to stay in the friendship house you stay at friendship well she does but she's trying to save

her husband's reputation and she's burning hundreds of documents in the fireplace the seals handing them to her there's a bear so it doesn't matter look the stories of his affairs hit the press like he's just a womanizer everyone finds out about it the now the government had set aside oil reserves for the Navy's use great and the secretary of the interior Albert fall took a bribe and leased the lands without bids okay this is the teapot dome scandal okay and fall asked Ned when people start sniffing around he to say you loan me a hundred thousand dollars okay so you can say that's where the

money came from to cover the bribe right sure take and that's like yeah I'll do that that's a good idea yes that's awesome have you got my bear seal off and I have a seal in the bear I think those lizard guys are real but I know crazy shit happened last night fuck a bear killed the seal man nobody could see it coming they're supposed to be best friends because of their relationships with beach balls I didn't believe in the whole time of cars until a bear killed my sale what are the odds so so anyway he says he'll cover and say he gave the

guy a hundred thousand dollars would take that deal I know but they're all friends and anyway the Senate investigates I'm good a ton of wires they find I would be sent back and forth between the Washington Post Ned's office assistant and Ned in Palm Beach and they're all coded the messages were from I also like milky cereal maybe we make sure it's extra milky and there's not a lot of cereal in the bowl I mean they're just jumbled words the air bay upped fey another way ostitutes pray and same or may these are bad this is not a good code the messages are all about the illegal deals Evelyn toll tells Ned

don't go to the Senate don't I'll go to the Senate don't go don't go I'll take the bear will go I think the bear will wear the diamond the bears gonna drive in the diamond car yeah how sober are you you could drive one senator there makes a seal noise now if I now one senator thinks Ned is lying about the loan because he heard Ned is broke okay and first Ned ducks the he's broke yeah this is Brewster's millions it really is so Ned Ned ducks the you know that the what do you call it subpoena subpoena he says he has a science fiction I can't do his subpoena my nose hurts so you know it goes good to see you he has his

lawyers and his connections indeed you're honored by client has a stuffy nose how's he gonna do what are you barbaric you want the man to come here he's not an animal the man next to him is that's his bear it's a bear doing the seal thing lately cuz he ain't your honor can we stop typing for a minute darling your honor a the bear ate his seal off the record off the record and that's why his nose hurts there he is so okay well there it is busy hiccuping he is hiccuping yeah he saw my dad do it my dad died from hiccuping anyway yeah no boy I'm gonna have to take a look at his will I know that that's an inside joke

am I the lawyer now so he has his lawyers and connections in DC try to cover things up but the activity just makes the senators more suspicious they really weren't they weren't buying the stuff he knows stuff yes but that the investigation is going absolutely nowhere okay and one senator gets really focused on dead on Ned okay and Ned can't handle this he can't handle the stress he puts on weight his face looks haunted he's morose he's withdrawn okay and then Ned goes to fall and he said I've done as much as I can but I'm gonna tell the truth now oh god bad time and there's a senator coming down to

interview Ned because he won't go to Washington so Ned tells him the truth and the senator is just totally shocked like it's the teapot dome scandal he just drops it you know that that I like you knew they had absolutely nothing and we're about to end the hearings oh my god squeal he just squeal you gotta be a good man dumps the whole thing in their laps he confessed he hadn't let him fall the money it breaks open the whole scandal and it's the biggest scandal in American history and up until like Watergate right so Ned's Ned then goes to testify in front of the Senate and he just looks fucking dumb hi he said

things like quote I've read so many of these telegrams my head is dizzy senator I'm trying to figure them out like they're oh yeah he just looks like a fucking idiot right in the telegrams Ned was called TK VO you EP or the chieftain or the big bear wow wow or seal owner yeah so Ned becomes a laughing stop stock in the country as his messages are published in newspapers right so everyone's are out there everyone just thinks he's yeah his texts are out there when you think he's a fucking idiot right both Evelyn and Ned are now heavily drinking and they've got serious money problems okay so when Ned needs

money he would just go to the Washington Post and take it cash that's how it works in one year he took $90,000 that's how it works though is that our business is a bank I just catch I just catch the paper boys on their way back in from outside he's got a bear what he got to me what he got to me give me give me a fucking baby I'm a wife probably won't be able to wait till she sees us nine hours and eight cents whoa we're back who wants to buy the hope diamond I mean in today's money that's about three million dollars that he's just taking in cash sure he's also blatantly having an affair great so they sue each other fucking the bear so they

sue each other divorce in 1925 Ned's drinking like crazy he goes to Mexico and sends her divorce papers then he sends more from a Latvia inside a Christmas package decorated with reindeer and Holly I want to send her divorce papers for Christmas too it's gotta be nice can you put some Holly on there also these are divorce papers yeah and then the little reindeer I hope you're right in the hell you know Dasher and dancer and my attorney Leonard Feinstein hello I don't know why he set it up like that but we are here to serve you so Evelyn uses her

lawyers to block it they somehow remain married okay I don't this part I don't understand like I kept reading this over again I'm like what in the fuck is happening okay in 1929 Evelyn takes the kids in the leaves moving into Little House on H Street a close friend of Ned says he's just totally upset said he was quote like a ship without a rudder he didn't give a damn where he went or what he did sure but they're still married they're officially still married and they have other kids than Vincent three more okay just know they're like those are not worth a goddamn thing yeah terrible rumors are circulating about Ned now

because he's the last terrible rumors is the house he's staying in right yes the peeing in the White House fireplace is one of them I thought the fire was spreading you're welcome I saved the White House I mean imagine pissing in a White House fireplace can't my bear people said he had quote urination syndrome and had also peed on the leg of the Belgian ambassador this is how we say hi here I think I like it he went to LA for a few months where he had an affair on the Hollywood land side he had an affair with Rose Doros she was the sister of a famous actress who was the mistress of Ned's friend William Randolph

Hearst oh that's cute Ned brought Rose to DC and introduced her to staffers at the post in what was an incredibly awkward meeting that is a bold move yeah yeah also we need 90 grand how's everyone's article now needing money tries to sell the post but Evelyn blocks it because she wants her boys to inherit it okay she also tried to get Ned removed as co-trustee of his father's estate she said he was broke and he had borrowed a hundred hundred thousand dollars against a property to go on a trip to Rose with Rose to Europe where he then ran out of money in Paris and borrowed more money from the hotel I

like to buy another guy cursed diamond always running out of money in France yes it always seems here I know how this works it don't matter I've been here before it's why did I buy a third bear there's so many bears now oh my god I bought a fifth just waking up I got so drunk I bought another bear that's it you said to get the buried and yes no I said we're going to Paris honey why are there six bears in the other hotel well it'd be fair I only bought four of them and then apparently late last night I ordered two more my eyes were bigger than my tummy so he ends up being hospitalized in

Paris for alcoholic reasons this room's only for bears this is a bear room Evelyn finally sues Ned for divorce claiming desertion and non-support which was granted in 1932 okay now same year 1932 Rose really caught him at his apex didn't she really really guy knows when to set land it on March 1st 1932 the Lindbergh baby was kidnapped and because of the threats made to kidnap Vincent Evelyn is like emotionally attached to it very upset so she reaches out to con man and ex FBI agent Gaston means from episode 293 and he said he could find out where the baby was but he need a hundred thousand dollars

for ransom and four thousand for personal expenses oh this guy so she hawks the diamond to pay for him okay means means strings her along for six weeks he said he was negotiating with the kidnapper who he said was named the Fox I got him he's the Fox and I'm talking to him right now you didn't even send in the bear not now Ned not now buddy then means asked for another 35,000 and Evelyn realizes close she's being con and she calls out to she reaches out to J. Edgar Hoover who then means goes down okay the Lindbergh baby's already dead right so means is convicted of fraud as far as hawking the diamond she like the story

said she did it many times and then we get it back so she's always hawking the diamond getting it back at this point when she's broke so Ned has to give up control the post because he was borrowing so much money they're finally like okay dude you're killing the fucking I mean the papers almost gone it's fucked at this point we can't afford ink four days after he has to give up control the papers auctioned off wow because that's how much money sucked out of it wow on June 1st 1933 Evelyn bid for it but up until 625,000 and then she couldn't bid anymore the new owner who

bought he called it he called the paper quote mentally morally physically and in every other way bankrupt he and that was just wobbling next to him last guy and I don't know what he's doing too much the one we saved it and I said there's a lot was we needed a section about bears just bear news what's going on this guy this guy thinks he knows how to run a paper we're not covering who knows this man I have five bears and they're very interesting they should have a paper someone shoot this man bear weekly tired you're tired I'm gonna sleep what now here on your feet but you just man to sleep on my feet god he's

pissing oh god I'm wet like a seal know him so he sounded like I miss everybody all right there's gonna be baby oh my god breath is unreal so just to this guy who bought it for 800,000 yeah just two years earlier had offered Ned five million oh my god that's what Evelyn blocked oh my god this guy was like boy you're drinking really help me out a couple days after the auction a reporter tracked on that he was now in a hospital in Montreal that treated alcoholics quote undergoing treatment okay Evelyn had Ned declared insane and committed him to a sanitarium in the

attic in the right he loves at it haha turn around the last eight years of his life were spent in an insane asylum where he denied he was Ned McLean that's not who I am I'm Batman you idiot anybody who said he was Ned he got violent with wow you have a name that he came up no he died of a heart attack in 1941 at 55 years old god he lived hard and he cut Evelyn out of his will he left who's will he didn't have a will yeah he wasn't right he left $300,000 to a mistress Evelyn was not I don't know if it was Rose I just said a mistress I doubt it okay Evelyn wrote a book and called Ned quote a queer queer fellow

was this Ned McLean that I had married she described him as unearned wealth in undisciplined hands hmm she remained for the rest of her life there's like eight bears in the back and now an interpretive dance to see Ned off I finally understand what he saw in this the priest has been eaten by one of the cubs that's fine reporters cub reporters are there yes yes she remained she was still the maitreca Washington society for all life okay she would wear the hope diamond all the time wow this person their daughter name one bad thing it did thank you their daughter wore the hope diamond at her wedding to senator

Robert Reynolds wow it was his fifth marriage he was 57 she was 19 great that sounds like the diamonds already working it's magic he was a Nazi apologist huh co-owner of a fascist anti-semitic paper great great six years later Evelyn's daughter committed suicide by looking a lot by what laudanum ah Evelyn never got over it her money issues took a toll she died a few months later on April 26 1947 of pneumonia I don't believe in the curse she was said to be wearing the hope diamond at the time oh my god it was sold to jeweler Harry Winston to pay Evelyn's estate taxes he donated the

gem to the Smithsonian Institute some say the tragedy in your life was due to the hope diamond others say no as alcoholism and being rich and everything else well it's clearly the diamond the hope diamond is now valued at $200 million don't touch it is that it's still and it's missoni yeah missoni has oh that Winston guy owns it but he it's in the Smithsonian safely residing in the nation's capital of where nothing is being cursed man if we realize the key to solving all this is getting the hope diamond into the ocean we just move it wow sources Dan and Leslie Landrigan bar harbor Babylon Bill

Hogan the article losing it PBS.org and the Washington Post thanks your dog thank you Dave yeah good good timing with the dog and thank you the Lord above you're a man you have a beard you are Mandel's you're in the clouds you've decided all of it we are all part of your plan and it's going really really well we're excited to see it through we're all gonna be seeing you real real soon champ thanks everybody go to dahlapacas.com for some tickets