The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 508 - Stephen Burroughs

Episode Date: November 23, 2021

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine criminal Stephen Burroughs ONLINE SHOW DECEMBER 16SourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

Red leather recording a Ratchet to teta to teta to two dragon will come and beats his drum at a quarter to two good You're listening to the dollop on the all-things comedy network. This is a By Centennial by Centennial American history podcast for each week I Dave Anthony read a story from the celebration of America's 200 years to My co-host Gareth Reynolds best country on earth who has no idea what the topic is going to be about It's about America. I think the Lord and how great America is and how great America has always been

The thing about it is Dave. It ain't ever gonna not be good Haha, that's why it no matter what happens. We keep saying that America I was talking with someone over the weekend about how Remember how they used to like, you know, TV's changed in our lifetime so much But when it used to just be whatever a few channels It would end with the singing of proud to be an American Yeah, I'm like a bald eagle and flags. Yeah, so it'd be like it won't like TV would just be like All right, we're done for the night

It's the best country Clinton's my pal. Yeah, that was crazy. That was that went on for a long time long time and everyone and we just allow it It's just these these multiple patriotic oddities that were born into that until you at least have some sort of Mental awakening or you do the podcast the dollop. You're like, wait, why did we do that people? Why are we doing that people from other countries? I think we're absolutely batshit crazy with all the national anthem before games Oh, and nationally, you know, just trying on the street and having flags everywhere. Like everyone's like, what do you guys do before games before games? Yeah, you know, like it's just like we can separate these two. What's going on with you? It's coming off. Oh my lord your finger's naked Well1765

year of our lord Hezouloy su Steven burrows was born in did I do the theme song? Did you do do? No, we didn't do the theme song air. We can't do to Aeron. I don't know if Erin helps at all Aaron's been sleeping the whole time and called it quote. What if Aaron was okay? Wait, is it for fun and this is not gonna come the tickly clock okay Now hit him with the puppy you both present sick arguments We flexed our muscles if you're all interest on yeah, I do say when those bodybuilders do it They're getting quite a workout cuz they're standing there like yeah, haha only thing that's not flexed to the genitals

Why could you that? All right, and we're back Seventy-sixty-five already said that out, but Joe burrows Steven burrows was born in Connecticut His father was the Reverend Eden burrows. Hmm Eden an interesting name for a young lad Eden burrows What are you hungry for? Burrows we're eating burrows Presbyterian minister. Oh good. It's known for his punishments and adherence to harsh religion. Yeah, right, of course You can imagine that in America. Yeah, it's just

if you write down that a man in the sky said it will do it yeah in 1772 they moved to Hanover, New Hampshire where Reverend burrows was the first minister of a new settlement Such a bummer because it's like they were like probably like that's right And we'll probably share amongst each other and what we were talking about. Oh, hold on a second This guy's got something to say. Yeah, so it's the frontier at that time Land has to be cleared for housing and to grow food. So it's a life's tough. Yeah, right One summer three of Steven's younger sisters died of smallpox within six days. Oh my god Just how was I mean, I know that we are like we were like a tear we were and hard

But we were so barbaric and crazy But death really was just such a different part of existence. It was endless You just couldn't I mean so you were dealing with like grief on like an assault in fashion Well, your whole family's dead You want some supper? No, I'm just gonna go outside and work on the land. All right I'm dying tonight. Okay Everyone around you. We will cover you with dirt Well, we're all planning on dying tomorrow. So I forgot your name man doesn't matter

Steven was a very difficult child He said he was quote the terror of the people where I lived and all were in Declaring that Steven Burroughs was the worst boy in town Who could get him well to the worsties who could get him whipped were most worthy of esteem So, oh, so normally. Yeah, I mean like regular boys. We'd obviously just be steaming them Yeah, but he would get a whipping. Oh, he would but normally which hold the boys You know much like how you make the frothy milk. We would just quickly hold the boys in a little mug under There you go

Now you're no longer swear in public Charlie, but not him. He got the beaten. We'll just steam the boys He enjoyed playing pranks on neighbors boys esteem. Okay, so not steam esteem Aaron if we can uh, yeah, great It's a fun riff. Thank you. I learned he enjoyed playing pranks on neighbors including upsetting outhouses Yeah Upsetting knocking over houses. I mean and just I mean porta potties are terrible. I mean I saw that happen to a kid I see it's I saw it in Brown Deer Park growing up a guy get it poor and it was what did they do it on? Did it land on the door side? No, I saw it landed on the door side. That's just like honestly If you had a knife in there, you would be like

And also stealing watermelons from gardens, which was apparently a very common thing at the time sure stealing water He was a water felon What a fun time it was. Yeah, so young young Steven was into this and one neighbor's patch He continuously Going on continuously targeted. Okay, so frustrated the neighbor waited one night hiding with a club to catch the thief and beat him Jesus Christ. That's what you do takes watermelons. It just find it find a ten-year-old and beat. Yeah, just like where you Chuck I'm gonna sleep out in the patch tonight. And if I find this little culprit beat the shit out of him this club I'm 41

so Steven saw him and So then he went to the neighbor's son and said he had seen the thief in their patch He is so the kid of the guy was hiding great So the son goes to investigate quote the old man supposing this to be the thief rushed from his hiding place and attacked his son with his club and Severely handled the poor fellow before he found out his mistake the son Supposing the thief was beating him a balled out to his father who expects Father murder father murder

Your dad lives around here too, huh? So you're doing it right in your neighborhood. I'd love it if your dad came out here Yeah, it's right. He probably looks a little like me because you got my shoulders my You took my boys jacket You took my boys jacket and all of his clothes. No, you took my boys shoes You're like you the nerve to steal my watermelons and take all my boys clothes. You I'm gonna beat the bird out of you Ah, ah, ah, ah, you said that's so you got a voice box and my kid's coat that makes it sound like you're him Despicable, it's me. Yeah Jeremiah, Jr

I'm your son. Oh my god. I'm dying with all the watermelons go you crushed my orbital bones I know but a lot of the melons are missing Damn it. My obese. I'm gonna lay down on these leaves real quick and see if I can find some of them I'm gonna bleed out here. Hold on. Hold on. He might still be here boy. Quiet Well, here's one my blood will nourish the water Don't make me Look, I'm just another child of yours. It's dying put some of these leaves over you See you later. Do you remember my name? Yes, of course

Don't talk. What is it? Don't talk What's my name try to die? What's my name? Hey, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy, Jeremy Germany, Jeremy. Yeah, I okay. It's close Oh Sad It's not okay, which is how but it's what happened. It's what happened. Yeah So when he was 14 Steven tried to run away and join the Revolutionary Army Fester He joined an artillery company

But then his dad found out and came and got him discharged And then that same regiment came through town six weeks later and Steven tried again and this time He quick quipped himself the way he thought a soldier would quote I took a bed blanket and tied it full of clothes and provisions My provisions consisted of bread and cheeses That being the only kind which was ready cooked all this baggage together with an old musket belonging to my father Powder horn filled with powder 30 balls My appearance in camp in this ludicrous plight was an object of universal curiosity and amusement

So he just Packed a gun in a picnic and was like I'm in the army. Yeah, he dressed himself He he looks like a crazy person right and they and they were like this kids is a child and he's crazy Yeah, well, they they still took him because right they were like Well, he's got really good cheese. Yes arms and eyes. So I guess we can use him. He could stab So yeah, he convinced the enlisting officer to let him enlist on the agreement that he would not Discharge him if his father came to take him back. There's just one thing if my stupid dad comes It says I'm not allowed to be in the army. You gotta tell him to go f himself. I mean, he's 14. Yeah

so The officer agreed, but when Reverend when the Reverend came he immediately discharged You said you promised me Then Steven then Steven enlisted again Okay, this time with a different enlisting officer and when his father came my god The enlisting officer refused to discharge him unless Steven agreed to it and he was like no And he refused Damn it

Well, it's quite a conundrum. Well, my boys in the army now So the Reven Burroughs had to write a letter to General George Washington Wow requesting Steven's release he described Steven's previous attempts said he believed the cause in the cause of America and Said he was Washington's servant and concluded with a PS quote During the time my son was in the army. He never passed muster nor drew any bounty or clothing And so Steven was released by George Washington Wow Wow had to go to the top man

Go to the head honcho. I get the president's like yeah, this teenager should be in the army. Come on. I've got other stuff at 16 Steven entered Dartmouth College and Kept constantly pulling pranks. Which dad was like get him out of here. I wish I couldn't find what the pranks were but Back then kept the school of myself in a constant uproar. So he said everyone was enjoying it Okay, so probably a lot of outhouse stuff. Yeah a lot of putting a watermelon in an outhouse. Yeah Steven thought he had problems at Dartmouth because he did not dress in the correct manner. His shows and clues were clothes were worn He was also failing several classes. Okay Pranking a lot. So yeah, but he thought he was being unfairly targeted. Sure. Okay

Sure, quote on one hand I was excited invited and flattered to gratify those who were fond of amusement on the other hand I was watched with the scrutinizing eye of jealousy for misconduct and readiness to censor censure me That would be thought innocent in others. So he's saying I went through that I complete That's what happens. He's a prank. Yeah. No, I'm saying I understand I like I I know why it happened. I was like, yeah, cuz you fucking toyed around a lot watching you. Yeah. Yeah, that's what happens Yes, but I definitely felt that I would be like morning and they'd be like go to the principal's office. I'm like, but I Yeah

So two years in he was accused of stealing money and expelled from Dartmouth Okay, so he leaves New Hampshire for a Newbury Port, Massachusetts where he joined the crew of a privateer, right? So he's gonna be a pirate legal pirate. It's just amazing for your life to be like army student pirates I know he's like fucking 18 or something. Yeah I'll just be a pirate like you're just like going places like what do you do here? I'll be a pirate. Okay So after getting some tips from an old medicine man, he became the doctor So remember this the brains up here genitals are here These are feet and then this is elderberry

It's pretty much good for everything and if anyone says they don't like the smell use lavender. Okay, okay? So I'm a doctor now you're not only a doctor You're one of the best doctors and a surgeon. Yes. Yeah, I get to cut people open and take stuff out Absolutely. Now just remember this area is full of icky guts. Oh, yeah. I yeah, you should be able to figure that out Long ones the stomach. Did they do the same thing pretty much? It's either all blood or processing our air. Yeah, great. So pretty much whatever Oh, I love being a doctor. You're one of the best I've ever seen. Thank you. Here's a sword for incisions Okay, all right and a gun. Okay for any

Time you need it. I have to shoot a knee off or whatever someone's knee apart. Yeah to help there I'm gonna love this. Absolutely. Yeah, God. I'm gonna miss you. I'm gonna miss you. No You're gonna die now. Yeah So, yeah, so he is the ship's doctor quote after obtaining the assistance I have a pamphlet. I'm the doctor After obtaining the assistance advice and direction of an old practitioner in physics together with mass Together with marks set on each parcel of medicine. I thought myself tolerably well qualified to perform the office of Physic unborn shit. I can't believe he is just now a doctor. I mean, I know that we've talked about it before

It's no, how do you I? It's okay. How do you feel comfortable being considered a doctor? Well, you don't because how did you ever? When you had to get a job early on you were just like tamping or whatever did you ever say? Oh, yeah, I know XL and then you get the job and you're like, I don't know Yeah, I guess I've been I mean, yeah, it's never same thing, but it's not because it's like life I know but that life doesn't matter back. I don't know if that's true I mean odds are a doctor's not doing shit anyway to you the person with the disease isn't like anyone They're probably who knows the most. Yeah, but the guy who knew the most was like, hey, let's put beetles in your eyes

Right, I guess I guess it's almost like that. It's almost like if you watch CNN, you know, you know less It's like being trained medically back then You did is detrimental to being able to figure stuff out. Yeah, cuz you're like maybe I should cut that out And they're like cut it out. Just put your mouth in there and chew on it Treat it like a dog toy so the first week on the ship he had terrible seasickness and When he got better he immediately started pulling pranks Okay, so we've got see patch Adams

This led to the captain accusing him of stealing wine and giving it to the crew I know he's Frank. He's I don't know. I broke into a bank. I'm a prankie I broke into the liquor cabinet stole the liquor and drank it. I'm a prank So So Stephen denies it, but he was kicked in the head and put in the ship's jail Well, you know what we do to you now you go to jail after a head kick You know the punishment Keep doing that you'll get kicked in that twice who wants to boot him. Oh, I do. There we are

Back in Massachusetts. So the ship goes back to Massachusetts He he leaves the ship and he looks for another ship to get on as a doctor as a doctor But before he could he was arrested Several members of his crew were accusing him of giving wine to a crew member who had disappeared So there's clearly wine missing and they've all decided it's Him and now they're saying. Oh, you got this guy drunk or whatever. He fell off the ship or something But maybe that guy just took the wine, right? It's all so we don't know but it's but people are saying it's him

But speculatively a guy could have just gotten drunk and then been like whoopsie and also he a seavan because also taking it Like it's it's yes, because he's a prankster. Yeah, I'm Mary prank right. I killed one of them after getting him drunk So They said Steven had quote given him of wine out of the cabin and that afterwards I broke open a chest of wine and Handed him the bottles and likewise broke open a bale of silk and hid one piece of it So there's saying, you know, they stole a little bit, but but that the guy Died of his own alcohol. We don't know what happened to that guy. It doesn't really go into it

But so Steven's a nice it. He just says I don't know, but he's sent to jail. Okay Now he at this point he decides to give up see life. He's like, you know what boats? It's not working out. I'm a good land. It's hard if you have a Pranking but being enclosed in an area. Yeah, it's tough because what's your problem you can leave town So he gets he gets out I don't know he's released they must not have had enough on him and He now decides that he's gonna become a preacher But he's not a preacher so he decides to plagiarize his father's sermons and just pretend he's a preacher for work

So well in order to be a preacher you had to have some sort of training But essentially you had a bunch of shit. You could say that was enough. Yeah, you could you could it's like when I said I did XO, right? It's the same, right So he auditioned you lie and say that you knew I got a job I got a job at the writer's guild and then after about four weeks or like, hey, can you do this? And I was like, I gotta be honest. I don't know Excel and the next day I was gone You know when I used to valet cars I would train people once a week and there were two different times where dudes showed up and didn't know how to drive stick

And I was like, yeah, it's gonna be a real problem And there's no way that the people who hired you know that and also you getting behind the wheel of a Porsche me like grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr rope And that's how it would happen Someone would get in the car being like, I'm shi- like their plan was never to be like once they get there I'll tell the guy their plan both times was like I'll figure it out And then I'd just be like the hell's happening and they be like, how do you- the clutch is weird I be like that's the break, so that's why it's acting strange for you So, he starts auditioning in different towns to be a preacher and he would go in and do

like a sermon and they'd be like, oh, this guy's pretty good. Pretty good. I like your sermon. Pretty good. You talk about the stuff that's not true really well. And he lands a gig in Pella, Massachusetts where he used the name Davis, so he's calling himself Stephen Davis. It's his mother's maiden name.

But after a few successful sermons, some people are starting to grow a little suspicious. I've heard this sermon before. I felt that too. A lot of the things he was saying rang familiar. Gosh, it just feels like that's not his sermon. I do what's known as a common sermon. What does that mean? It means it feels it's super familiar.

Familiar? They're called familiar. Familiar sermons. That's by design. It's a spirit of God. Really? That's what's happening within you. I didn't even know that was pop.

Well, I will say yes. I didn't hear it until I just said it. You are one of the best I've heard because most of it sounded lifted. Yeah. I mean, it lifted from God. Right. Of course. Yeah, that's what you're feeling.

Yeah. Yeah. Jesus, Jesus. Sorry, I would judge you. Well, I don't know if I'll get over it, but okay. Very Christian. So he gets called on to preach a funeral sermon. So what is it?

I mean, in stand-up terms, this is what? He's got a feature gig? He's got a gig at this place. He's in a town. He's the town preacher. He is. Yeah, he's got the gig. And so someone dies and they're going to have a funeral sermon, which means it's in

a house and a private house, very crowded. This meant, quote, it was in the power of any to look into my notes, one who had wandered at my always, being prepared to preach, took this opportunity of looking over my notes and thought they appeared too old to be lately written. So he took, he directly took his father's pages. Yeah, I think he actually took the pages. Okay. And they're like, these are very dog ear.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. The date here from a while ago. That's weird. It's not signed by you. So people start talking and, quote, began to grow uneasy with the apprehension of my preaching sermons, not my own.

Okay. So he, okay. So he runs away. Uh-huh. Sure. So great. Great run. He runs to Rutland, but the angry congregants come after him.

Wow. I mean, this fired up about, it's not, I mean, it's still like tech. I mean, to them, this still would be like the word of, you know, a good preacher. Yeah. So, you know, I get being like, oh, those aren't your words, but like the idea to be like, let's kill him. Well, yeah, I mean, I think it's super offensive to them. I don't know.

I don't fucking know. Sure. You love them. Yeah. So they follow him to Rutland, they corner him in a barn, and they demand he repay them for two weeks of sermons he had not made yet. Oh, so he's, so he got signed right to a longer, he got signed to a seven sermon deal and he's two sermons short.

Hey, listen, guys, could I get a little upfront sermon money just to tide me over? I got a brand new place. Oh, absolutely. You're new to town? Yes. You're good for the sermons? Yeah. So it'll be seven total.

Yeah. It'll be seven and everything. It'll be great. Can I get like a month ahead of sermon? It's highly unorthodox. Yeah. I got to, I'm going to build a new wall. Oh, yeah.

We all need a wall. You got to get a hoe. You need a hoe. Got a hoe. And then, you know, dirt. And dirt. That's not free. Yeah.

Okay. Well, nothing about this is shooting up any red flags. Yeah. So that's great. I'm going to sermon the shit out of it. Well, that's a strange, strange shit. Yeah. Just absolutely sermon the shit out of it.

Yeah. I'm going to sermon so fucking hard that your eyes are going to fucking spin. As soon as you got that money, it feels like you became a little sweet money in my pocket. Odd. God's money. What's going on? Yeah. I think it's so much.

Do you know what tequila is? No. It comes from down south. Okay. What is it? It'll make, I call it fucking happy juice. What is this? You have happy juice for us?

My saying is I'm not responsible for what I do when I'm on tequila. You have. Because I, I turn it fucking loose. Your language is really like I'm, I'm, I've been doing tequila all morning. You can give us happy juice since I got the money tequila. It's so fucking rad language. It's just so you can, without swearing, you can get us the happy juice. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Stop swearing when you're eating. We're all going to eat the fucking worm. You know what I mean? We're going to eat the fucking worm. Stop saying stuff like that. We will eat your worms if they're happy, but the happy juice is what we have our eyes on.

If you can get us the happy juice, I'll pay you, but you have to stop swearing. What'd you fucking say to me? Stop saying that word. What'd you? Stop saying that word. What'd you fucking? Stop. Do you?

Listen you son of a bitch. What's, you're really, this smell. I'm really what? Is this happy juice? I'm really what? You ever heard of Cabo? Look, I haven't heard of a lot of the things. No.

What's is a Cabo? I went down there and got in a fight with 32 fucking dudes. I mean, I feel like this is not great. This is my next sermon, bitch. Okay. Well, it's pretty good. All right, so they haven't cornered a barn. Right.

I forgot about that. And they want the money and he's trapped. He's in a barn. He's up in a loft and he's got a pitchfork. What was his plan? He was like, I'll go in that barn. I don't know if he has. That way I can't get out.

So he's holding, he's standing there after he's holding a pitchfork and then he gives a furious sermon. This is so stupid. This is so stupid. So they've cornered him in the barn and now Dave, he's got a sermon like he's never sermon before and then he realizes, I got the sermon in me. I just need, I mean. Hey.

That's how it works. It would later be called the Sermon on a Homo. What? He gives a sermon in the barn and they're like, it's the sermon on the Homo. He was on a mountain of hay. The beginning, so one of the quotes is, where I am, ye cannot come. So it's all about stay the fuck away from me. And they're like, that's really good.

What a good sermon. In it he discussed previous preachers who had left the town. Hear ye the voice of the Lord, which cryeth against the Pelomites for the anger of the Lord soaketh with a furious indignation against you for the follies which you committed against the Lord and against his anointed. So he's saying like, you guys are a fucking problem. You keep driving away preachers. And they're like, wait, we are.

And he references all these previous preachers who left and quote, then said the Lord, I will give them a minister like unto themselves, full of all deceit, hypocrisy and duplicity. He's the one we need. Then came there forth a lying spirit and stood before the Lord saying, I will go forth and be a spirit in the mouth of Stephen the buronite. And the Lord said, go. So he's just like up there. This is unbelievable stuff.

Where was this before, boy? This is unbelievable stuff. He's calling us shitheads and him a shithead. He's our shithead. He's one of us. So I just hope one of them was just like, you think we're going to be able to sit here and listen to you say something like that and your fate's going to change. Let's get him.

It doesn't. A long term contract. No, it doesn't work. What happened is a bystander comes in. I was outside and he's like, what are you guys doing? And then he starts questioning the Pellamites like, what the fuck? Why are you holding this? Why are you trying to kill this guy?

Because he was. Who are you? He was. Oh, did you not make a mistake? Maybe it's on you for hiring. Hold on bystander because he was he's a jerk off. Okay. So right now I think you're the bad guys and this poor fellow out there who's a preacher.

I can tell because he's preaching. He's been pretty brutally honest and you guys seem like, I don't know if this is the right word, but pretty whack. Thank God you were standing there by yourself. Yeah. Well, you're welcome. What a great evaluation. So he gets away because of this guy.

Thank God for the bystander. Yeah. He stays in Massachusetts and at some point met a con man named Phillips and Phillips claimed he could turn copper into silver. I'm a silver guy. It's so funny that it's copper. I love the copper. Why wouldn't you just?

Why? Why isn't it just iron? Like why is it copper? Like copper is actually worth something. I'm pretty limited. I can only do copper. Oh no. What am I saying?

Because people then give him copper. Never mind. Oh, okay. There was a shortage of hard. But still the idea that you, I mean, you know, like con people be like, I know we can make some money downtown. They weren't like, you know, I'm kind of a wizard. I'm basically a wizard.

Okay. Yeah. I can like wizard stuff. Well, um, there's a shortage of hard currency because it's right after the Revolutionary War. So people are into the, they're like, Oh, alchemy. That sounds fucking awesome. Like this is a way out of our plight.

Sure. Paper money and bank notes were not reliable forms of currency and Congress was starting to print paper money and private banks were making their own bank currency. So silver is more desirable because silver is not, it's not a bank's not vouching for it. They're like, that's better. Or the government or whatever. So Steven and a friend named, uh, Lysander gave their money to Phillips, their coin,

obviously. Uh-huh. And then he just left. Right. So really. It was. It takes about five years. Sorry.

I should have said that on the other side. I didn't mention it's a long, long process. Um, all right. Well, I got to go to my home to do this and I'll be right back. And my home is. Your home is where you. Oh, your home. Your home.

You won't come to my home. I'll come to your home. No, no, no. That's not how it works. I need to be alone in order to do it properly. Do you want your silver or not, guy? People can't be around you when you turn around. Absolutely not.

I need to be in a dark room. At a special room. I can't tell you where it is. You drive me right out of business. Watch my outside. I'll be right back. Huh? No, that's probably, it's too close.

You need to be eight miles away. Eight? Yep. Otherwise it won't work. Believe me, I've tried. Did you be eight miles away from any person? Yeah. Yeah.

That's it, that's it, the person who gives you the money, yeah, yeah, I gotta be eight miles away from them. Otherwise it won't work. This is science. This is science. Okay. Yeah. So, but I'll be back, but don't come after me.

If you come close during the process, which could take a little while, then it won't work. Then you waste your money, guy. Don't be an idiot. You're going to have so much silver, it's going to spin your top. It doesn't sound great. Well, it's going to be great. Just me. This is what I do.

I have magic hands and a machine. I'll see you later, buddy. Bye. Yep. So, yeah, so the guy leaves and... How long you think he'll be? Another guy who had been taken by Phillips was a counterfeiter named Glacier Wheeler. Sure, Glacier Wheeler.

And Lysander convinces Stephen to go into business with Wheeler. Okay. Lysander quote, Glacier Wheeler is a man who can be depended on for his honesty to those for whom he undertakes to work and can make one silver dollar into three counterfeits, which will pass as any. So, he's like, this guy's really honest. He's a counterfeiter. Yeah, this is the best counterfeiter.

You can trust this guy. He's the most honest counterfeiter. He's got a job based on total lies. You can get into business with him. He's smart. Now, Stephen could not tell the difference between Wheeler's counterfeit coins and the real coins. He's like, these are fucking amazing.

Okay. But Wheeler had actually never tried them in the real world. Okay. So Stephen took some of the counterfeit coins and tried them at an apothecary in Springfield and was immediately arrested. So Stephen just eyeballs these and then he's like, wow, they look basically the same. Not thinking like someone else should probably approve or like, it's just a bit of a whim. Okay.

And the apothecary is like, I'm full of bullshit and this is bullshit. Let me tell you something. Do you want a potion to get rid of your lies? So a member of the Pelham congregation became a witness at his trial. Okay. He said Stephen was quote, the greatest villain in the world. I've been everywhere. He had come to Pelham under a fictitious name, had there preached when he was unworthy of

the business, had endeavored to kill a number of men in Pelham and had cheated them out of their money. Objection. What? Why? Why? Because. That's bullshit.

That's not an objection. That's like an opinion. Objection. Okay. What's an objection? When it goes against the court's rules, like you would be objecting to what the court allows to be said. I don't think he should be allowed to say that stuff.

No, but that's not part of, that's just what you want, what you believe, not what the court's rules are. All right. Thank you, sir. Okay. I'm going to go on. Great. With the.

Yeah. Please continue. Why are you? And he had cheated them out of the money. Love you. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. It did make sense, but that's… This one to the Supreme Court? There may have been a hearing before the trial. Sure. Yeah. Well, there's no one living there.

Like, you know, it's probably the only court that's like doing this. He's in jail waiting for this and he writes a satirical book, titled the Heymaus Sermon about… So he writes a funny little slap about what happened. About when he was cornered in a barn with a pitchfork on his ass off. Yeah, basically. About the whole thing that happened in Pellum, Kay comes clean. He transcribes his bar barn sermon that he gave and puts it on people fucking love it

People were so stood there feel like this is a great so he goes into the Supreme Court trial like thinking like well I'm fucking hot shit like I got this pop of the book everyone loves my story And he represents himself great always good as we've said on this show always right never goes wrong It was described as a very entertaining performance But the case against him was too strong and the jury found him guilty and he got three years in prison Okay, not so funny now. I funny man. Oh the first days in prison. He tries to break out, but first night first night fails, okay and

Soon after he and his cellmate come up with another escape plan to dig through the foundation of the cell chimney apps Absolutely, we're so chimneys. Absolutely. I mean there had to be because it was too cold, but This is chimney in a cell. Well, so, you know, there's a fireplace to me, you know, they need gifts, too Quote we soon filled our room with stones and rubbish I labored like Sisyphus in rolling huge stones out of the chimney way. Oh my god So they're just taking apart the chimney and And Sisyphus in yeah, Sisyphus in they then come across a really big stone

They can't move it around midnight. That's Sisyphus in and then their fuel ran out for the light So they couldn't see so they decide when the sun come when the sun comes up. We'll finish and get out of here I mean that didn't go well quote the jailer came into the room and hello you guys do it It looks like you're trying to break out. What's like you're in the middle. I try to break out and And what was the scene pictured to his view rubbish rock stones and dirt filled the room two men almost naked covered In sweat and dust We were naked we were exercising why are you naked? We were exercising. Why is there so much trash in here? That's all exercise. The chimney got taken apart

Yeah, we went really hard. What exercise were you doing? Why were you naked doing this in here the chimney workout? Okay, and you got to do a naked why? It's just was in the book. What book can I see it? Oh that got burned in the chimney What where the chimney looks like it's been taken apart not used it again. I'm gonna ask it again boys. Where are the clothes? What's the deal? They who the guys what guys who are the guys the guys who told us name the guys The chimney boys they had a book they yes, they had a book in their exercise Said said travel around take the chimney apart naked with a friend

That's the exercise and that's the exercise and again the trash is for what? It's weird that the trash is the one you're having the hardest time answering the naked one you're really trash Was in the chimney and I have nope it didn't it was supposed to burn it didn't so you took the chimney apart Right, and then you're fixing it and working out. Okay? boy, this is The magic is walking Hey They got a big stone. They can't lift. Hi. Can you help us? How was your night?

Can you help us lift the stuff get your clothes off get down here you like garbage? So obviously that's not great. They were whipped and then Put into a smaller more torturous high security cell No, it's not as funny anymore, but man for a minute there, and then they were chained No, okay, Stevens comes up with another plan. I need to eat the chain Like spaghetti Set fire to the jail. We're gonna burn the whole thing down which would kill him which is what he was like fuck this I'm just gonna end. Oh, really? Yeah, okay

This is what day three So the floor is made of boards and there's cracks between them and then I guess there's a big space below We need to shrink ourselves. So have you seen that movie? So he dropped the coals from his fire through the cracks and the shavings down below Another stuff and it starts on fire Oh, we should and then he laid down on his bed and waited for death Any moment now, but the fire didn't come into his cell like he thought it would instead the rest of the jail caught on fire So his his somehow his room is not on fire only the rest of the jail is burning. Yeah

Okay, you know what maybe I'll try not bad. Maybe I'll live It did cause his chain to loosen. So how what it was chain to it like it's okay, right? It's all very weird. So he now can move around his cell and then when the fire was put out They come in and they find him unchained and they figure. Oh, he started the fire But he did start the fire. Yeah, but it's like their detective work is crazy It must have been him everyone else died, you know how fireworks it leaves the guy who started it He was then stripped and whipped After this he was treated terribly and they stopped giving him food. Jesus

So his uncle Ebenezer comes of course who else would have been of course, and oh, I'm from the 1700s I'm what's known as a stereotype I'm being written So when he goes to Steven Steven looks like a skeleton his uncle demands that he'd be putting a better cell and fed Yeah Food. Yeah, we should feed people He then tried to escape again, and that's it. They're like that's it and they sent him to Castle Island Prison in Boston Where he quickly decided to escape through the chimney

Jesus Keep an eye on the chimney. Would you guys get rid of the fucking chimney? I'm a chimney guard. There's one guy there Is you're a chimney detail? I mean, it's amazing to just in a jail be like and then there's a tunnel out So I'm trying to think if there's anything else I've left out of the tour. So again, you can sell us lock Open at 7 a.m. Lock at 10 It's a chimney there. Just easy to get up and then you're outside Yeah, that's a three hot so great. Yeah, there you go great. Is there a ladder in the chimney? Well, obviously for it to be clean there has to be a chimney

So yes, there's ladder to climb the chimney for it to be cleaned that goes right outside And this is a jail. You can't leave it no matter what you do. There's a whole lot of it. See you later, buddy I'm gonna take off my clothes. All right, of course. We all are so He uses a nail to scrape away the bricks and he works for two months and made a whole large enough to get through and then Waited for a rainy night to mask the sound. Okay smart Steven is going out through the chimney. Yeah, which is holy's made course So this Steven and several other prisoners a break out and they were on the run for three days before they were caught I I I it is astounding to me that it is this I mean

Like people break out of jail now like there's you know So it seems like it would be a lot easier to get away with this, but they're really struggling So he gets caught they they they all get several they get several hundred lashings He tries to escape again and fails He also tried to take over the prison once that's night and when you get to that point where you're like, I think I might just run it So at this point he starts to think well, maybe escaping isn't the way to go Okay, and he starts behaving well until he gets released Wow. Yeah, he learned So he's released in 1788 and then he goes to stay with his

Uncle Ebenezer in Charlton, Massachusetts. This is gonna be quite a bad time for you We're gonna have so much fun. Do you have a chimney uncle? I'm a wet noodle I only like to come in and out through chimneys now. It's just something not in my house. You'll go through the trap door I'm an evil weirdo Hello Jesus, I had no idea you like my cane. Yeah, I'll hit you with it. That's how's that? I'm a dick I'm Ebenezer My parents said it's me no lifetime of being a dick when they called me that yeah, well, don't yeah me make me a drink. No

whoa Well, welcome to your own a little bit of your own poison there, buddy My nipples are hard Jesus in a while since anyone's been here so he marries Ebenezer's daughter He marries his uncle's daughter. So he marries his cousin. He marries his cousin. Sorry, Davis. He marries his cousin Okay. Yeah, a lot of people that's a thing. I'm starting Marys cousin Yeah, I then the list of greats that married their cousins goes on on Einstein Giuliani. He goes on He got a job as a teacher in the local school it looks like he's turned a corner and he's

Becoming a nice fine man, but then he breaks out of school through the chimney but then quote About six months previous to my marriage two daughters of D. Bacon Attended my school at a certain time the elder of D. Bacon's daughters remained with me in the schoolhouse a number of circumstances happening to throw a certain Enjoyment full in my view the temptation was too powerful. Oh, how I mean, how what's how old is this person? No idea? I intimated to her that from the principles of integrity as well as tenderness to her own welfare I should keep this business a secret from every living person. What a creep. So he was just like I just had it

Terribly dirty thought about I shouldn't tell you because I shouldn't say it out loud and I shouldn't bother you with my dirty thoughts So then she and she's just and how I mean it wasn't just dirty thoughts well of not but that's like seems like what his move was He was like, yeah, I just got dirty. Yeah, how bad look at your do you want to hear what it was? Yeah, and this person is in school. Yeah, it's one of the students. So this is maybe Age, let's just say 16. Okay. Let's first. Thank you. Yeah So the girl tells all of her friends Okay, after he said don't tell anybody and soon everyone in the town knows and he is charged with assault attempt so intent to commit rape and

Open gross lewd and lascivious conduct. They got him As far as the last cut it okay open gross lewd Stephen had a terrible argument quote Everything which took place was in private. Therefore. How could it be said that open lewdness is proved by this testimony? It's like buddy, buddy. I Did it behind closed doors Okay, that's I was taught to do at school. Okay. I trained as a teacher I take issue with the fact that it was gross But not gross but beautiful. He

Pleads guilty on this one. Okay, and he gets three months in prison and the lashings at the public whipping post sure Sure, sure previous crime his previous crime. Well, why did he get three years? Wasn't it for the? Uh-huh. Well bank notes for currency. Oh, right. Yeah, I love that. So victimless crime essentially, right? He didn't wasn't able to pass a A coin currency victim crime, right? Yeah a lot less three months. Yeah, it's just a girl So He I guess three months in prison and lashings He next moves to Long Island where he got a job teaching This is like a priest. Yeah, seriously

He told the community about his crimes and they still accepted it. Well, we still think you should teach I just want to so I did let me start out by saying I didn't fuck her Wow and I Rubbed some stuff. Hmm. I Did a little, you know jerky jerky Didn't like I said didn't fucker your grammar It's pretty fucking rad. You'll teach English. Yeah, great. Okay All right, this is society. I probably won't do it again. Okay

Yeah, so they hire him and even though they know everything about him So so he's teacher. He doesn't think there's enough books So he talks to town people had given him money Which he would use to buy books for a town library This is one of the first libraries in America. Okay, this guy sets it up There's a lot of squabbling over the books between the townspeople and the elders and sure yeah I mean that it's a weird time where people are like freaking out of what would be taught or what wouldn't you know a rational Yeah, could you imagine? No, I just we're gonna be fine

So then after this job he goes to Georgia and works as a private tutor The state is in the middle of a land speculation craze So people are just buying a plan and he pretends to be a land surveyor to get close to this millionaire Robert Morris he had helped finance the American Revolution and Morris Trust Steven sure like he gets in with him and I love the idea of like acting like a land surveyor So you're just like lifting up your glasses like Okay, that's good. Excuse me. What are you doing there? Just surveying the land? So I'm sorry. I don't know if you're in the middle of something, but I'm just having a

Quick squint over here. Just the sort of okay, so it's sort of slopey. Yeah, okay You're exactly what I'm looking for a man with eyes that squint Oh, I'm looking at land. I'm surveying. Oh, you need is what's happening. I'm sorry. I'm looking for a land surveyor Oh, yeah, that's what I'm just because that's why you're squinting. Yeah, I'm squinting because I'm noticing a slope So personally like my vision. Oh slope. I wouldn't have noticed that well not a professional there It's a little slopey and then over there you can see that gets a little bumpy Uh-huh just making some notes of that about very impressive hundred kilometers very bumpy Yeah, I'm swamped right now, but I guess I could work for you. I've kilometers been invented yet

Mm-hmm. Oh by me. I haven't told you about him yet. No. Yeah, I've got this whole thing It's gonna work really well, and then we'll change it in this country. Uh-huh. Yep So yeah, it's a that's I'm done surveying. Are you which you know, no, no, no, just Lancer bear. No promise. Oh, yeah Okay, great So yeah, he actually Lancer very gets in with this Morris guy the most back so sore from surveying land Oh, sorry Morris starts bringing him on projects. He starts making tons of tons of money And then the land bubble bursts sure and Morris loses his entire fortune so much so that he's put in a debtor's prison Oh my god

This guy goes from funding helping fund the American Revolution of being like in a debtor's so I can turn copper into silver I guess I shouldn't have bought Georgia Steven also goes broke And on top of that a lawyer sold this house without permission and took the money and left France That guy's the hero. That's the hero That's our favorite person the guy who flees to France. I'm just selling someone else's house. Hey Bye. I'm gonna have a really good life In 1797 he moves back. He's got no money moves back in with his dad. He's working the farm sure

Uh, he's 32. He's completely broke. Okay. He starts writing his memoirs What would you do? I mean, obviously, it's time to write the biography. No doubt and he ends up with a 350-page auto biography Okay, memoirs of the notorious Steven Burroughs and it's published in 1798. Wow And he keep adding to it over the years and republishing Sure, right. Yeah, it's a bestseller people fucking love it. Wow so he Takes all the money made from buying from selling the book and he starts building a big house on his father's property Which his father gets mad at he doesn't want a big house and they get into a big fight and then Steven leaves with his wife

and kids and Fails on his dad and the house he was building. Okay. I mean Okay, and he heads to stupid dad. Well, let me build a house on his property. That's it. We're leaving the house Oh, it's just a crazy thing to do. Are you building a house out there? No, I'm just playing down foundation That is a house. It's got windows. It's a shed. You're building a house. God damn it. 12 room shed That's a house you asshole. It's a sleeping shed. No, that's a house You're not building a house on my land. Look at it though. It's a house. We probably have to move your house No, we're not moving my get out of here

So he moves to Stanstead, I'm gonna build a house on your property. Okay. Fuck you He moves to the township of Stanstead, which is now Quebec. Okay, so he goes up there It's contested land between the US and Canada. It's not it's like sure We're not sure yet. That means there's no cops and a lot of smuggling going on there. Okay and Steven set up a mill farm But that's a front. Okay. He was actually setting up a counterfeiting business. All right, great Paper money had now become more accepted and banks were printing their own money. He's like a successful author Right. Mm-hmm. So he but is it success is based on writing about all the bad stuff. He did so he's like Richard Pryor

Yes, let's just like oh man. I mean I got some crazy shit to tell you now. Yeah, okay Yeah, basically, okay so Lot it's basically a lawless land Paper money is now more accepted and banks are printing their own every bank. I love that banks have their own money It's to me. That is the craziest time in American history. It's just amazing when you're just like every bank has their own money. Yeah Steven's made counterfeit money for many different banks and then his partners would smuggle it into the US. Okay, I He's already a notorious criminal because of the book and sometimes his smugglers would get caught and it became clear

They were working for him Because it was reputation Everyone assumed Steven was the source of all counterfeit notes in the US. So it's just basically what happened to him in school Yeah, we're like any like because of his track record They just assumed that he's doing way more than he is. Oh totally, right The US has no extradition treaty with lower Canada. So he's safe. He can just keep doing it. I this gray area land situation It's pretty great It's like the Bermuda Triangle. Yeah, there is a there is a part of Yellowstone. That's supposed to be the same way

And let's just go there and open a casino So he just keeps growing the operation he opens a second manufacturing Spot it's franchising his counter. Yeah. Yeah Okay, a group of bankers then hire a sheriff named Baron to track down and arrest Steven So sheriffs were just like I also work for people who pay me. I think they are still Sure, I'll take a break and go hunt your friend He raided so this guy raids Steven's farm with 22 armed men in the middle of night and caught Steven who was sleeping in bed

Sure, Baron took him to Montreal and they're a judge sends him to jail Okay, but he's released on bail and then he moves his family to Montreal. I don't know why he did that, but okay He was then arrested again When one of his men was caught buying a ton of paper to make notes. Okay, so He's arrested for counterfeiting and now the judge has it out for him Steven was charged with two counts of forgery even though it wasn't technically illegal to counterfeit foreign currency in Canada You can't counterfeit Canadian currency, but counterfeiting other Canada different. I mean you found the loophole of loophole, right?

Like I'd fuck that. Yeah, the judge so It's like the Rittenhouse judge it. Yes. No Steven escapes before the trial and Canadians they're like whatever they don't care right, okay, right? so he goes back to Stanstead and There's a smallpox outbreak and he uses his doctor's experience to help the neighbors Through smallpox. Yeah, I don't know what he's out of his element. Yeah completely, but whatever now everyone I help someone with their knee on a boat once. Oh

Boy, this is crazy Sure is bumpy. You're like Braille people. I guess slice you open with my magic Fire for 20 seconds and then pull you out. My doctor's sword. We're going to do what's called medically searing you Oh good. Yeah, just get a nice little grill mark. I yeah Then we'll put you in the oven. Oh No, I think I'm gonna eat you. I'm gonna die. Yeah, baby so The judge

So this judge now all the people are all the people are now protecting him because he helped him so much during the smallpox thing So everyone around but he did help. Yeah, somehow. I don't know like yeah, he did what is he like? I don't know salving me. He may have just helped from like being the only they're there They're there who would go near people. I mean that happened a lot. Sure, you know, but also in smallpox What is an airborne thing? Yes, terrible. Yes, like that's I mean I get that why you'd be like, you know That seems like a Magnanimous gesture, but I in that time I'd be like, I mean, you know with COVID would you be around? Would you be there being like it's okay? No, I'd be like I'd have my head in the sand like an ostrich. Yeah, absolutely

So So the judge the one who arrested him before and was that to get him? Mm-hmm He is actually loyal to the US and banks People think the banks are paying him off, right? It's just never stops the code has been cracked and keeps being the same All the local magistrates are not on board with that so they petition to have the judge removed Okay, and he was Wow But before he leaves he searches Stevens farm and he confiscates and and steals money and even personal possessions

So the judge goes yeah, you must have like a force or something with him I'd that part. It just seems so weird to me, but he It's crazy from to go from one moment to be like you're judging the misdeeds of another and then when that's over You're like, I'm gonna rob that guy Like okay, so you probably shouldn't have been in this elevated well He is clearly just working for the backs. Yeah, right But I mean, but it's amazing to go from that still that just like I'm gonna take from him I will steal his stuff him

Quote plundered me of all my writings containing my private correspondence documents of value and other papers together with $53,000 and carried the whole into the United States Wow So he takes the counterfeit money. Yeah, like I'll use it. Well, no, he's not using it I think he's taking it for the banks. Oh, that's right since he's bought But with the judge gone, he's now able to expand his business. There's no one really looking over him again His son his daughter's wife. They're all now working for him His daughter Sally signs all the counterfeit notes. Oh, that's so cute. The whole time men from banks are harassing him They would come they would take notes

And then he just set up and print more so it's just you know a cycle When very similar to our economic economic system. Yeah, basically when the bank Gilbert and Dean printed a book explain That I mentioned the bank's name is Gilbert and Dean. I thought they were writing Broadway show Where show tune bank? Yeah show money I love they had their own money. Yeah So they print a book explaining what to look for in counterfeit notes and Stephen responds by sending them a mocking letter Pretending he had opened a bank named shipped in bank and he asked to get good credit at their bank Saying he would repay them with stock from his bank and this is a joke. It's a joke. There's no bank

He doesn't have a bank and everyone knows it is right And he said that in their paper quote a buckwheat pancakes have been so exactly counterfeited in New Jersey that none except the Officers of the pancake exchange could distinguish them from the original. I solicit your friendship gentlemen in this important business He also included a drawing of an orangutan and the words death or botany Bay. Ha ha ha So he's just completely really just botany Bay meaning, you know, you're gonna send me transportation to Australia, right? He's just completely fine with it. Right. It's very I mean, so I mean, he's like he's onioning them. Yes, right And it's funny because normally like humor in that when you read quotes and humor None of it makes sense the pancake thing is I'm like I get it. I get what he's going for I get it

And people love this right. Yeah. Yeah, they're making fake buckwheat pancakes Haha, you know, yeah In 1808 the laws new laws were created to crack down on counterfeiting in America and Canada So as network shrinks in an 1810 as the laws are coming into place he asked the governor of lower Canada for clemency and the way he does this is he writes a letter with all of his crimes in them and and said since the new laws he'd given everything up and burned all of his notes and

Destroyed all the machinery and then he sends that letter off. Mm-hmm didn't go his plan He was then arrested because of all the crimes Wow, I got your letter and we're gonna put you in jail The letter he wrote the governor was used as a confession at his trial under the new law I was thinking like you don't need to write everything. You don't you know, you write like 50% Yeah He was sentenced to transportation to Botany Bay. Wow. Yeah Well, what pretty predicted it

But I did that in a note of absurdity. Yeah, and now they're like you're going there But after six months in jail quote to do the Americans a favor He was pardoned on giving heavy bonds for his future good conduct. So I don't really understand what happened here, but It was part of a general pardon to mark the 50th year of the King's reign so the king as Like a good fit you just let a Clean the record of a bunch of Americans. Sure which yeah, which he was one, okay So I don't know why that's a thing for the 50th year, but okay, it is sure

Very lucky. Yeah, very lucky when you hear that like wait what like so the King's just sort of picking some people and I guess You're free now King just I don't know. It's the 50th year anniversary. So There you go. You and seven psychos to get to go do whatever you want again. It's so weird. There's the king So the war of 1812 breaks out Fighting is happening in that part of Canada where his mill farm is and he started working for the British Royal authorities as a spy He said he was promised quote a handsome provision for the performance of these services And he bribes money to fund his secret little missions that he's doing

But then he sent his son on the missions in his place So he really just he his son He's a racket. It's so crazy. Everything has to be on partially. Nothing is straight up, right? so his son got his all this information and Then they make a report and he turns it over to the officials But it turns out the officials Don't have no one knows about this deal for him being a spy

At all they're like, what are you talking about and because it's a hard position when you're a spy Trying to let people know that you're you know what I mean? Like yeah, you're giving up your actual identity So I think that they think he's conning them of course because of his rep And yeah, so he's arrested and put in jail, but in the end he gets released without try being tried, right? But he said that I mean he's considered a prankster, so they're like you're pranking us But he still keeps up his part of the bargain which is to stop counterfeiting except for pancakes except for pancakes He lost his farm and land in Shipton intent and stand stead over Contested land rights, so then he moves with his family to Troy Rivera's where his son lives

And is working as a choir boy Boy for the chief justice. He had been there since he was arrested for counterfeiting in Vermont So his son he's working as a choir boy for the chief justice. Oh, sorry chore boy. Oh my I was like Even though you're a one-man choir Okay, so we're gonna chair boy. That's a great auto correct. Yeah choir boy So he went Oh That's good, that's good little more now

Yes, it was son of God of Vermont got arrested for counting all these candles out Not like that. We've got that big don't lick them. No, no, no, no, don't do the thing you did before better See a son of God of Vermont got caught counterfeiting and then ends up working for this guy, so they all move there where he is He's broke again. Sure, right. He's following the success of the chore boy and he gets work as a school teacher What what? He began to lead a respectable life sure he converts to Catholicism Oh, that's one step and gets involved in the church finally. They're moral some don't believe it

They think he's you know using his another one of his jokes But it looks like it's on the up and up. Okay, and he ends up becoming a school superintendent superintendent sure He's respected by people in the town People would always come to see him because he's famous, right One wrote quote his room was hung around with copies of originals of their masterpieces of some of the distinguished painters of Christian life and suffering and And everything about him indicated very convincingly the genuineness of his repentance and reformation Okay, so he found religion

I'm dubious. No, he did really. Yeah He published a new book in 1836 called a view of practical justice as administered in lower Canada displayed in a memorial addressed to his excellency the Earl of Gosford Is that the title? That's the title. What is it again? A view of practical justice as administered in lower Canada displayed In a memorial addressed to his excellency the Earl of Gosford What happened the first time that someone had a title like that was like kind of like a night to remember they were like But what is it? What night? That's so can you tell us what night it was?

That's put the exact date and tell us why to remember it So tell us the night that it happened and why we should remember it. The title should really be more like the first page It's the opener So in this he printed his letters to the British government where he Is trying to regain his lost land and Money so he's like asking them, you know, right a Quote on the cover page reads truth is great and will prevail. It did not prevail Okay, it was completely unsuccessful and he died in 1840 at the age of 75 shit

He's considered America's like first criminal Really? Yeah And that that's crazy. So and that's why he was able to get away with I mean It's almost like we've talked about it before like where it's the first time something happens But people can't process it like the first time you get conned and nobody's conned anyone Yeah, so like when you're a high-level liar or con person like and moving to a no-law zone. Yeah, it's all Man, I would have been fleeced in this time Research by this was done by Camilla Galaz. I'm sure I said her name wrong

sources Susanna Ashton a corrupt medium Stephen Burroughs and the bridge Hampton Yeah, a Stephen Burroughs own book He had oh for Larry a Kabula a counterfeit identity the tourist life life of Stephen Burroughs and also Kabbalah also wrote bring me the head of Stephen Burroughs Ernest Ferguson the entertaining saga of the worst crook in colonial America. That's on Smithsonian magazine John Garcia he hath ceased to be a citizen

Mm-hmm Christopher Jones Praying upon truth the memoirs of Stephen Burroughs and the also my shitty nephew by Ebenezer Clark my shit nephew J. I little American Center slash Canadian saint of the further adventures of the notorious Stephen Burroughs Stephen mim the alchemy of the self Stephen Burroughs of and the counterfeit a lot of people wrote about this guy And I kind of hit economy of the early Republic and then the New England Historical Society Stephen Burroughs counterfeiter and Daniel Williams in self-defense author and authority of the memoirs of Stephen Burroughs

Our buddy our buddy. I mean he's a fucking king. Well, like Stephen borrows What nothing go ahead Hmm seems like Um, yeah, we have a better banking system now for sure. Do we know? Right There we go. There's that there's that knowing there's that knowing Anthony sip It's yeah Good that a quote. Yeah, everything's good. It's yeah good good feel good

I feel great man. Great. I Feel great great hot great. Okay. Well, this is um Well, someone asked me why I always say things are bad and offers no solutions, but no one's hearing the solutions It's called direct action you guys Here we go. See I told you I could turn his crank a little bit Well, like stop saying I don't say anything I keep saying we need to go out in the streets and fucking shut everything down and people go What about a look tour electoral politics? Is it gonna help you cop?

No, I think you can tell it is amazing. It is a way where I'm not gonna spin. No, not gonna do it. I it's just amazing that Yeah, that that it's just like people the idea of still being caught up and like the Solution living inside of our government or right next to it and doing it through that to fix things is just I'm gonna see the Hunger Games wedding the Pelosi Hunger Games wedding. No, yeah You know Biden in his campaign, he said he's gonna stop offshore drilling and today They are auctioning off like 350 fucking drill sites. So and this is you know, what a day after cop 26 ended like It's not gonna be done through electoral politics

We have to shut everything down that people have to go out in the streets and just say, okay let's start stuff that it feels like Ince that the general People are reaching points where things are becoming so terrible that there's nothing you can do other than be like fuck off Yeah, like it's happening a lot of obviously in a lot of companies where yeah workers are just like, you know, you can't even greed At some point will stop beating desperation like people when people have nothing or are looking or are just fucking done That's how you uproot stuff. Yeah, and people are done and through. Yeah. I mean, I

Don't even know which thread you would start pulling first Honestly every time I'm like government and I'm like banks, you know, so anyway, we sign cars Yeah, we sign Cars one eight seven seven re-sign cars for kids. All right. Thank you. God bless everyone. Ta-ta gobble gobble Happy turkey day. I