The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 512 - William T. Sharon (Live)

Episode Date: December 21, 2021

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine businessman William T Sharon. Recorded live in Las VegasSourcesTour DatesRedbubble Merch

Hey, it's a live show! Well, well, well, well, well, well. Look at all you dumb motherfuckers. Dave is the worst guy. We haven't done a live show in like 18 months, so we thank everyone for coming on. It's been a while. We are hammered. We are rocks, so...

Yeah. There's no story. Let's start there. We're going to be honest. I'm going to make one up as we go along. This is going to be short, so with the good news, bad news, not a very good story, you're going to have the rest of your night, though. Pretty wide open.

And everyone doesn't appreciate the shit out of that. Come on, everybody. Benjamin Roosevelt. Holy shit. We do need to combine them. Two great presidents. I mean, the real big bummer is we were going to have Norm MacDonald as our guest tonight. Oh, Dave.

He would love that. He would fucking love what I just said. He would say it was worth it. He would, yes. That was the word Dave now speaks for Norm. He would say I'm his favorite if he were here. It's true. He always said that.

January 9th, 1821. You're our Lord Jesus Christ. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're into the intro. Yeah, Dave. I didn't even notice. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. I want to buy this guy out here. All right, so. All right, so. No, you're fine. Jesus Christ, don't buy anything else. Let's go from the time. Let's go from a big, modern thing in the baby carriage.

Three, two, one. Guy is a baby. They just cut the tabs to shit on him. Go to the intro. Go to the intro. Do it quick. You're listening to the dollar. On the All Things Comedy Network,

this is a buy racial American history podcast for each week. I, Dave Anthony, white guy, read the story from American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. English parents. Yes.

That's right. Even the whiter of the two. The whitest. Well, it's called double white. Transparent. Translucent. Roaders of the world. The English, yeah.

Yeah. You guys fucked it all up. Yeah, yeah, no, yeah. Good run, though. Good run, Mike. Good run. Not for everybody else. Well, yeah, but I got the way of it, didn't I?

Yeah, it was not. They didn't understand me. It wasn't us, was they? Fucking ruined everyone. They made a big mistake by not being born then, didn't they? It's not my fault. I was born right, mate. Really lucky, yeah.

Go on, yeah. January 9th, 18 fucking hours, yeah. January 9th, 1821. I could never have. Good for you guys. I could never have. You guys, we go to the TV taping. For sure.

Oh, my God. William Sherman. By the way, I know a guy who was at the TV taping. He was doing a joke about the plane flying out of Hawaii where the roof ripped off. Remember that a few years ago? And the top. I do not remember that. He was doing it for show time.

He's taping it, and the people in the front row are like, the pilot was my son. I'll say the rest of the TV taping did not go well. That ends the groundwork. Oh, was he sucked out? Like, how do you... Awkward. William Sherman Jr. was born in Smithfield, Ohio. One of your greats.

His family had been in America since before the Revolutionary War. So they were old school. Yeah, since before, yeah. Oh, geez. Yeah. William was small and sickly. Sure, cool, great. Awesome.

Regular, regular size for a human-bag, then, I'm assuming. He's quite sickly. The average amount. Everyone's quite sickly, to be honest. We're all very sickly. We lived to 18. Well, that's the end of his life. He's got thrice.

He'll be gone soon. His mother died during childbirth when William was 12. Not his, but another one. I held him as long as I could. What did she die from? Holding a baby till he was 12. Of course she fucking died. Yes, he got too big.

He was going through adolescence. He tore out of her chest. It's like that's seen in Alien. So, his father owned a tannery. Sure, that's like a... Go ahead. You know what a tannery is? Yeah, it's a tanning salon.

Come in, look less sickly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, it's a leather, leather, leather stuff. They have a tannery at the Sahara. Yeah, that's right. And a roller coaster. It's when you fit from the hides of animals. Yeah, yeah.

You do the whole thing. We have some fun, don't we? Don't touch me. She's such a weirdo. He was also a farmer, and then he became a judge and was on the board of a bank. It's just amazing how it works. A lot of shit going on.

Yeah, he was a pretty good farmer. Why don't you be a judge? Okay. And a doctor. All right. Dad was severely individualistic. Cool. America.

Yeah, he's American, too. He was fucking poor. US. I could wear a mask. And had a pugnacious temperament. So, he was like a pug. Right, is that what that means? His eyeball kept popping out of his head.

I think so, yeah. He had to put it back in with a stick. Hey, it was like a little... Yeah, he's pugnacious. He can't run very far without snorting a bunch of getting out of breath and his eye will fall out when he's older. He's great.

Yeah, he won't live very long. He's quite sickly. He should have never been made. So, his dad's temperament kept him from being popular. Okay. Now, wait. Which one's pugnacious?

The dad or William? Dad. That's dad's pugnacious. Dad is very individualistic, and he's got a really shitty temper. Right. And his eye falls out of his head. Right.

It's the kind of stuff you want to teach to a kid. Right. Cool. Yeah, right. Good role mind. Yeah, you get that. Yeah, Finn. Yeah, whoa.

That's a weird turn, huh? He brought... Oh, sorry. Now we're talking about William. William. So, when William was 17, he bought a share and a cargo boat. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Yeah. You fucking kids, you know? You know how teenagers are. Always buying shares and chips. We found some shares in your drawer. Why don't you go through it? It's my drawer, Mom.

How are you making profit? Shut the fuck up. I don't even want you in here anymore. Get out of there. So what? I have shares. I don't even use them that much. You don't understand.

Dad just used a bunch of shares. He was pregnant. Your father would have never bought shares in a boat and made profit. Is he dead? Shhh. Shhh. Wait.

You're talking about him like he is, and I don't remember if you said that. I just remembered. I just remembered I'm dead. Wait. Oh, that's right. You are dead. Yes.

You are dead. I came out of you at 12. Yes. Fucking hey. Oh, my God. And then he wakes up. It happened again. Oh, God.

Do I still have shares in the boat? Oh, God. So he went to Athens College. So he's basically in college. He's making money. Sure. A little side boat action. Sure.

He's got that side boat out that we all had. His father refused to pay for any of his education. But what he did do was he let him use a small farm that he owned to work and then use the profit to pay for college. Okay. So he's like you would crop your way through school. You would share a crop your way through college.

Okay. Which I think they still do. Yeah. No. A lot of those loan companies accept corn. Yeah. They're way behind on your potatoes this month. I'm going to use the degree.

So William's not tall. He weighed about 135 pounds. Okay. So what is it? What are we saying? That's a fucking little tiny dude. He is? That's a little dude.

135. I mean, 135 is a little dude. Okay. Relax, bro. There's a 535 pound dude in here right now. I was like, man, why is he coming at me like that? Right there. You want 35?

So right there. You got two of them. You want 35? Right there, bro. And that's 270 coming to kick the fucking shit out of you, big boy. Link up. Link up. Beat the fuck out of him, the parking lot.

He's parked right out front. I know the car. I'll show you the car. Right outside. So I have a little rule. Huh? After shows, I fight anyone under 136. And the parking lot, everybody gets five bucks if they beat me.

Yeah, you're like a Paul brother. After college, William studied law, and then he moved to St. Louis and set up a law practice. Great. Cool. Cool. That's where you want to do it. Not much there. Keep going, sir.

He had a lot of health issues, and so he decided to... That's not indicative of the weight. It's fine. No, no, no. And so he decided... There's vitamins now. That's right. He decided to move to Carrollton, Illinois to live with his brother, who was a doctor.

Okay. And then in 1849, he decided to head west during the California Gold Rush. Many, many, many of our greats. I'm done there for the same purpose. He went with a friend, John Fry. Sure. Sure. They opened a tent store in Sacramento.

Sure. Sure. So it was just all tents back then, like when they... Yeah, it's a gold rush. Sure. I don't really think that... I feel like that's not an amazing business at the time. A tent store?

Yeah, it's like a startup. Yeah, you know, it's a startup. It's literally a pop-up, like a pop-up of a store. It is, and also what you sell is pop-ups. Yeah, so you sell pop-ups. So, you know, they did really well with their little tent store in Sacramento. Cool. Unfortunately, they had it on a floodplain and a flood came and...

Sure. Wiped everything out that they had. Yeah, well, that's one of the, you know, locations. That's one of the down things about opening up... The thing was, it was so flat and nice. Yeah. People, you want to know why it got that way. How's that?

Lots of floods. Oh, fuck. Really? Fuck me. So, they lost everything in the store. That's a bad business model. Yes. Williams is 29 years old, and he has to start all over again.

Okay. I mean, he's about to die, isn't he? He's got six years left? He ends his partnership with John Fry, and he moves to San Francisco. Okay. And San Francisco had grown so really fast, right? Because, you know, 1849, it's just fucking shitloads of people come. Sure.

So, people are just living in tents, and, like, the kind of places that you couldn't even describe. Like, you wouldn't be like, oh, I live at... Imagine San Francisco full of tents. What year? Um, and so you wouldn't, like, there was no, like, you would just fucking pitch a tent on the hillside that couldn't be, like, that's, you know, 29. Oh, there's the difference.

Sandsome. Right. They couldn't. Right. But the police would be like, well, we can't do anything as opposed to now. And they're like, that's $150 for being homeless. So... And I have to throw your stuff away.

Right. So, sorry. Yeah. This is an empty building. Anyway... So... God quiet. Yeah.

I don't know. Governor Elder will change that for all of us. Yeah. Fuck it. By the way, Governor Elder should be the governor of us in Utah. Anyway, it's funny. Keep going. I loved it.

I loved it. There's a lot of stammering to lead up there. Yeah, yeah. We're rustic. This is perfect. Welcome to our rustic show. Um, so the place William listed as where he lived as a broker was the corner of Union Mason.

So he clearly just pitched it. Right. Right. That's where he was. Sure. That's his office. That's his office. He's like, what are you looking for?

I am a broker? How are you? What? I'm a broke broker. How are you? I, uh, come in. Um... Please take a seat.

That's the toilet. He started a real estate business. Sure. Well, who would you... I mean, you'd be like, well, I trust this guy. I mean, he lives in a tent. This guy's gonna be my guy for sure. He's like, yeah, I know where a lot of homes are.

Do you? I feel like you'd be there. Is that not... Well, he worked for a real estate guy and then he started a real estate business and then he started buying land at North Beach, believing shipping would make that area of value. Okay. And, uh, he got into politics.

Okay. And he was... Always good. Awesome. He was elected as an... I think he's gonna be a good guy. He was elected as an assistant alderman. You're gonna be elected for that shit?

Yeah, I don't know. To be an assistant... I mean, if you lose that, you're like, I can't go on. Me and the other guy. You know, PA just opened. If you want to be a personal assistant, there is an election for that. Oh, my God. It would be an honor.

So many people to thank. So... Siddy's built it up really fast and William, because he owns that property, becomes really rich and he really fast and he marries Maria Malloy and nothing, not at all related to the... Mike Malloy? Not related to Mike Malloy. Yeah, sure.

They have a bunch of kids. They have five kids. Good. Only three that make it to 18, but they had five. So that's why they did it, right? That's why they had so many kids. They were like, yeah, you're like, we're gonna lose half. Half, half are not gonna make it.

So it's weird. Weird added. Fucking right. We'll end up with like two and a quarter. Right. We'll end up with four. Mom? Yes.

It's me, Quarter Boy. Hey, hey. Drag yourself over here. There's no more cat food in my dish. Jesus Christ. How is this thing still alive? Mother? We're not gonna name it.

Wait, you're dead. Oh, fuck. You're cool. Fuck. You're dead already. In 1856, William had a fortune estimated at 150K, so like $5 million today. Wow. Okay.

And he's a member of the San Francisco Stock Exchange and Board. Sure. In 1862, he started investing in mines in the Comstock Load in Nevada. Well, well, finally. He became friends with William Ralston, who was a super, super rich guy. And William was cheated when a guy sold him stock in a mine that he already owned. That's one of those ones where you like don't even tell anyone that that happened. Where you're just like, all right, he got me, and people are like, where did that money go?

Well, they stole it, but it's fine. I don't need that. I don't need to go into that, and I don't need that money. So that's fine. Details. Details. I don't even remember. That money.

That money. No, I don't. I for sure own that mine. Yeah. The mine's mine, but all my money. The mine's mine. Mine's what you said. Let's focus on the song and not the fact that the money's gone.

He puts a lot of money in recording the song. You already wrote this song years ago. Damn it. Fuck. I keep doing this. I just bought my house for the seventh time. I closed again on him. I don't know what's going on with the guy.

It's great. Somebody closing costs. So he put so much money into buying his own mine, his own stock in his mine that he was now in debt. What? To who? I owe myself millions. I owe myself $3.5 million if you believe that.

What? I mean business. Me. Not me. Well, he didn't buy. Another guy acted like he owned it and he bought it from that guy. So he gave the guy a bunch of money. So the guy just got all his money and then he was like, yeah.

I mean, yeah. By the way, that guy's playing out. He's like, this is fucking incredible. Yeah, how is this happening? Is this seriously happening right now? I found the dumbest asshole in the world. And he's like, yeah. I mean, it's a great mine.

Yeah, yeah. No, it's pretty good for sure. Here's all my money. And the mine is yours, my friend. Thank you. You'll find the keys to the door of the mine on your key channel. Hey, my name's already on it. Yeah, well, we wanted to do you right.

Hey, do me a favor. Quit looking at it for 30 minutes while I get the fuck out of here. You guys, should I watch you go? Probably not. I don't think you need to see the direction I'm going in. Look at the sun for a bit, huh, pal? Boy, you've got a real winner here. At times like this, I think of the fact that I lost

two and three quarters of children. Now they're going to be so happy. Yeah. What a weird end. Anyway, pal. Hi, how's it going on? My wife just split in half. The boy walked out.

How's your mom? My wife. That happened to your wife? She's my mom. Yeah. I'm sorry. All right, dude. Stop talking.

I'm out of here. I have a quick edible complex. Yeah. Oh, man. I like an edible tube. Take it easy, pal. Anyway, I walked out of my mother when I was 12. Awesome.

I'm way down here, but cool shit. Thank you for the mine. You fucking yeah. Well, that's a fast horse. He's on. You're making shit an idiot. Idiot. I know this mine.

Oh, fuck. So, he still owned all the real estate, so Ralston bought his real estate to get him out of debt. Okay. But once again, he has no money. He just has... He breaks even. Okay.

What do you mean he breaks even? He has no money now? Once he sells the property, he's out of debt, but he still owns the mine. Sure. Yeah, he owns the mine. It's not terrible. Yeah, he owns it a couple times.

Yeah. But he still needs money. Ralston makes him his partner. He said, let's go into business together. We'll be partners. And he gives him $250 a month. Okay. And Ralston was the president CEO,

whatever, of the Bank of California. Okay. And he makes William an investment agent in Virginia City, Nevada. He's like, you're our guy in Nevada. Wait, what do you mean he's opening like a bank into that? Yeah, yeah. It's gonna...

But right now, it's just like... A branch. He's the investment guy, but he's gonna open a branch. Okay. So, Virginia City is fucking happening. And you guys know, it's... It's fucking amazing. That's why we still talk about it so much.

That's right. That's right. Definitely still... I hope I can afford to go there someday. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So at this time, Virginia City...

It's like Little Prim. That's right. Little Prim. All feet. That's the problem. Little Baby Prim. Yeah, love it. So Virginia City at this time, 1856, is fucking the shit.

Amazing restaurants. Like the... Really? Yes, people go there for the restaurants. People go there for the... Foggy plays great-great-grandfather. We should open some of these. Yeah.

People just go there for the shopping? Wow. What are they buying then? Oh, nothing on the brand list. There's tons of saloons. Sure. Half the residents are from other countries because people are just pouring in to get rich. Jesus.

The mines run 24-7. It's like a casino, but a mine. Or like a grocery store, or like an Amazon, or like a Uber, or like a... Oh, you mean? Walmart, or like a... Oh, it's like... Right. Casino, or like a...

Right. You know all the places that make money and everyone suffers. Everyone makes money. Right, exactly. Yes, everyone makes money. Everybody gets a good piece of the pie. So William is now 43 years old. He's advancing at an age quite quickly.

Well, we want to get to the fun stuff. What? The fun stuff? You know what I mean? He's very smart. William is very, very smart. Sure. But Virginia City falls on hard times.

And the mines start drying up and people think the Comstock Law is done. They're like, well, this thing is fucking shot. Okay. And William knew it wasn't... William what? He knew it wasn't. Okay. How did he know?

He's known a few of them. He's like, dammit! There was a guy who, like an engineer at the mines and the guy was like, no, there's more. It keeps fucking going. There's more of this shit. Okay. And so he...

The mine was for her? He is. You know that mines ain't dead just yet, friend. They still got a bit of fighting in them if you ask me. Nobody does, though. It felt like he was trying to move on before he did, you know, friend. I don't... Yes.

Well, I tell you, he got a good bit of fight left in him, some of those know him. Not that anybody listens to me, but they should. I might be an important figure in your life. This conversation might be a huge moment. Well, it might be good of him in the mines. I don't stop, huh? Silver? Silver.

There's so much of it. You ain't even gonna believe it. The silver up in their minds, I tell you, what a silver, hmm? Ooh. Yeah, so I'm getting a restraining order? Yeah, hold on, hold on. I think we could be mighty rich together. There's a creepiness.

Yeah, yeah, I know. I'm a weirdo. I got a handful of ideas. What do you say, pal? Dope. I'm terrified. You know you can eat silver. I don't think you can.

Yeah, you try hard enough, you can eat anything. I'll be back. He ate it last night. So the mining world is, you know, chaotic, and William said out, he wants to streamline it. Sure, that's like streamlining, but with a mine. Check you out, thanks. So he figured out how to get closer to the water table,

and the more close to the water table, the more valuable the minerals were. Of course, yep. It's just like a gambling area. Welcome to the water table. It's the underwater casino. Hit the water table. He's also ruthless.

Local said he was cold and hard. Hmm. Yeah, sure. That's how I want to go. Hey, it's me again. Cold and hard, hey. That's about right. Okay.

Yeah, all right. Ain't nothing less to me still. What? I'll be back again. No. Yeah, that's too, I had to pop up early because it was so easy. So William and the California bank

started investing heavily in the mines, as everyone's thinking that they're drying up. Okay. And he and the bank gave loans to the owners who were having a hard time, and I think William, they're like, this guy's a fucking savior. I'm coming to save us.

Okay. And at night, he would host these big poker games with all these rich guys, and he liked to play the fiddle. Sure. Cool. That's the cool guy.

Yeah. Yeah. A reporter, quote, anybody who is industrious can learn to be a violinist, but only a gifted few can be fiddlers. Could fiddle a man's shirt off. Hey, I fiddled a man's shirt off.

What do you say we go to that mine? I fiddled yours off. We'd still burn. Just figure it out. Show you where the cum stock is. Oh, God. Where's my... Where's my ring, whistle?

Where's my ring, whistle? William hired a personal valet. Love that move. Okay. He was a Chinese immigrant named Aki. Okay. William also loved to go to the opera and cock fights.

Oh, God. Wow. A culture. Sometimes both in a night. Nevada's got it all. He had his own fighting roosters, so he's like, you know, he's having a good time in Virginia.

Sure, he's got his own fighting roosters. And then Virginia City hits bottom, and directors in the Bank of America... Bank of California. Sorry, yeah, I think it's supposed to be Bank of California. I fucked up. Directors in the Bank of California thought what William was doing was idiocy.

They're like, this guy's a fucking idiot. All the mines are going dry, this guy's putting all this money in. One demanded the Virginia City branch be closed. But William's like, no, trust me, and he talks him into staying open. I talked to this one guy, trust me. This one guy told me he's all good,

so it's fucking great. I don't know who he is or where he is, exactly. He was so sure. Yeah, he also fiddled my pants off. Hey! And... Sorry. No, go ahead with the meeting.

Are you okay? Yeah, I just... We're trying to figure out if this is a good investment. Yeah. Sorry, I was just checking. They're still on. He's a really good fiddler, and I just think don't...

Don't get along with him. Especially if he has the tip. He's 135 pounds, but holy shit. Holy fuck. It feels like 500. See? So we should invest, do you feel like? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just put all our money into the fucking mines and whatever. I just don't want the pictures. Of what? I don't want the pictures to come out. Remember me? So... So the loans start coming due,

and the owners and people don't have money to pay, and so he starts foreclosing. Okay. On the guys who are taking out loans, and he's ruthless about foreclosing. People are like, hey, can I catch a break? He's like, fuck no, you're done. It's a weird time.

And he didn't just give loans to the mines, fucking everything. He's foreclosing on the town. Okay. Mills, mines, businesses. They also invested even more as prices dropped, with other rich guys. William and Rawlsson formed the Union Mill and Mining Company. So now they're building a company

with all this property they're getting. And the investors became known as the Bank Ring. The, okay. Always a good sign, but a bunch of... Absolutely. Yes. Great. And then after about a year of this,

the mines start turning around. Okay. And they find ore, and everyone's like, holy shit. Okay. There's still money here. Told ya. Hey. I told you didn't I?

Yeah. You owe me something. No, I don't. Yes, you do. I do not. Yes, you do. I don't know who you shit. Got the fiddle.

No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. No, I don't. So William now controls over a dozen of the best-producing mines

in the region. Okay. In 1867, he said he made $250,000 in six months. Wow. $8 million in six months. Jesus Christ. What up? I know Bezos does that in like eight minutes.

Yeah, Bezos, that was literally like it's like a day. He's like, oopsie. Should go to space for a bit. And at the same time, he manipulated mine stock, which really wasn't hard to do. You just act like something was good or bad, and then, you know. Wow.

One mine, the Belcher, was next to a mine. Yeah. Gold. Nice. Oh, God. horrendous. We'll take it. So the Belcher is right next to a mine that found a big vein of silver,

and the bank owned the mine next door. And after touring the Belcher, William cashed out the stock and used it to take over the Belcher because he knew he could access the silver. Oh, he's going to drink his milkshake. Yeah, sorry. He took over the mine next door, and they knew that they could go through that mine

and take the Belcher. And take his milkshake. Yes. Drink his milkshake. Yeah, drink his milkshake. I drink your milkshake. What the fuck is that? They don't go low,

unless they're going to be glad. I drink, come on. Now come on, Eli. Yes. I drink your milkshake. Did he do it with his finger? Yeah, he's crazy at the end. He's got psychosis from bourbon.

Kills him with a bowling pin. So shares in that mine go up from $1 to $1,525 in three months. Holy shit. So he's just manipulating shit. The bank then built the Virginia and Truckee Railroad. The Truckee? Truckee. Oh, Truckee.

Okay, don't mind. I had a bit. So now they end a monopoly, right? They have the mines, the mills, and the transportation. What a good game. That caused the transportation costs to plummet. So they just fucking make it hand over fist cash. He's insanely rich now, but no one likes him.

He's just a fucking piece of shit. Wow, so weird. Spending those butts. Writer Mark McLaughlin, quote, he had mines sabotaged, mixed waste, rock with silver ore to boost production numbers, and committed fraud and price-fixing. So he's just one of those guys. Successful capitalist entrepreneur. Yes, that's right. Union Mill and Mining Company also didn't pay out.

One mine between 1863 and 1874 yielded $13 million, but only paid $2 million in dividends. Because everything that goes through the mills, they're just like, oh no, we got to charge you for all this and this and this and this. Right. And then when it comes out to the side, they're like, that's not that much. So they're just fucking grifting. Yeah, millionaires, yeah. It's looting, and they're just fucking making tons of money. So the company soon owns 70 mills, and that's where they're skimming all the cash.

In 1869, he is a huge deal on the West Coast. He's now a fucking rich, rich guy. Okay. And then a congressional committee comes to Virginia City, and he hosts them. He's like such a big guy, and they're like, what's up? It's just so like, it's really, it's very strange to hear stuff like that. Wow, we love him, we're seeing him. Beautiful.

Now William also, he had affairs. He enjoyed the ladies. Sure. And he didn't hide them. He didn't hide? He didn't hide his affairs. You stay in that chest now, darling. Don't come out until I knock three times.

That's when I'm home. He would just, he just was like, I'll republic with him, and like, this is the lady. I'm, you know, fuck him, and that's my other lady over there that I'm married to. Oh, okay. I don't, no one gives a shit. Oh, right, he's married. Right, yeah.

Right, okay, so he's a public, right. He gave his Nevada mistress, Bell Warner, a tip on a mine that made her $150,000. Jesus Christ. So five dollars. Jesus Christ. That's a tip. I would, yeah. You can do it.

You're a fucking lady, you know what I mean? I would fuck him for that tip. That's perfect. Thank you. I'm gonna fiddle these pants back on and call my broker. Well, go ahead. All right. We're gonna take a break.

Naturally, he decides to run for the U.S. Senate. Obviously. To represent Nevada. Well, Dave, if you get that much money, you want to really start helping people. This is one of the states now, yeah, where Dave, that he got people. Every, every place you go, people are like, you're pronouncing it wrong now. What did I pronounce wrong? Yeah, it's Nevada.

Are you saying I'm pronouncing Nevada wrong? Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. Nevada. But he's, he's doing, when he says Nevada, he's doing an English accent. Nevada.

Nevada. From now on, it's Nevada. So, he decides to run for the Senate. From where? Nevada. The state. You hack. You've lost your edge.

So, the company is now just fucking massive. Controlling almost all producing mines on the Comstock. And legislation was passed to decrease taxes on the mines. Well, Dave, it's called trickle down bullshit. It works. And the taxes are already crazy low, but the rich guys are like, it's still. It's still really hard. It's a lot.

We just ain't doing them. How about none? That'd be great. Oh, really? Holy fuck. I'm giving you jobs. Yeah. In 1870, the Democrats won many elections after years of Republican completely dominating

the state. And most. Time for change. Most people felt this was because of William, who was a Republican. Okay. So, this guy, Sutro. Sutro? I didn't write down.

The robot? Adolf Sutro. Adolf Sutro? That's right. A German robot. I am German. Adolf Sutro. Yeah.

Sutro. That's right. I'm here. Let's take a look inside some lead mines. Mine come. Let's do it. I like it that it's mine. Needs a strobe.

Oh, yeah. That's our Sutro. Okay. So, he is, I couldn't really understand this because I'm not a, like you guys, I'm not a, I didn't grow up in mines, but like, he's an engineer, he built a tunnel. I don't know if he's done it at this point yet, but he ends up building a tunnel underneath the mines to keep the miners safer. Okay.

I don't know exactly how it works. Okay. That's the basic idea. Okay. And he hates fucking William. Okay. Damn. He says he's corrupt and he's having total control.

So, he starts attacking him all the time. Now, William, while running for the Senate, decides this is a good time to move to San Francisco. Okay. Right. That's perfect. That's what you... He's running for the Senate in Nevada. Yeah, but I mean, it's, I, it really, they're her people.

Like, I don't think Josh Hawley's ever been to his home state. And he thought it was fine that he was living in San Francisco running for... It's the same thing, basically. He, because he said, I have businesses in Nevada and I pay tax there. So, basically... I should represent you. I get it. I understand it.

Now, the, the election was so bad that Nevada became known as, quote, the Rotten Borough. Has that changed or has it... Now it's Nevada. That should be, that should be on your license plate. Oh, that would be great. Look at the Rotten Borough. That's a casino waiting to happen. So, there are all these fights over this stuff.

And William buys a newspaper, the Golden Hills News. Okay. The Gold Hill News. And battles are being fought between newspapers, you know, Democrats or Republicans. Sure. And the Enterprise newspaper went hard after William, and the Gold Hill News together would attack both of them. Okay.

So, William drops out of the race, citing poor health. He's like, I can't. It's just too hard. Is that true? That he has poor health? Yeah. I don't think so. Okay.

I mean, he grew up sickly. Yeah, he did. He can always lean on that, I guess. But he's a hundred... You see, I'm sickly again. He's a hundred and thirty-five pounds of just... I think it seems a hundred and thirty-five, which the way this timeline's advancing would make sense.

He's a hundred and thirty-five now. I can't cause a health. So, after he drops out, then he buys the Enterprise newspaper that was attacking him. Oh, cool. That's cool. Yeah. Smart. Why don't more people do that?

Just buy the paper that talks shit on you. Smart. And so, he runs for the Senate again. I think it's every two years they're running. But basically, it's weird because they're running for the Senate, but at the same time, they're running for a phone for a senator. You vote for the legislature and then the legislature of the physical senator, but you're still running for Senate.

Okay. It's really fucking dumb. Yeah. You're like, can America get dumber? You're like, yeah, there's a dumber time. Yeah, yeah. We'll get back there soon. So, he decides to run for the Senate again.

Okay. And then... How does the paper just dragging him again? No, the Enterprise paper that he now owns is saying he is... What? They haven't changed what... Slow down. It's now saying he had, quote, energy and sagacity.

Sagacity. Yeah. Yeah. That's Harper. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Sagacity.

Yeah. Excuse me. I have sagacity. We put down. And they're saying... The paper's like, he employs tons of men. He's awesome. He's awesome.

He employs us. The people are writing this. Our great leader is one that we love so much. He's fantastic. He's perfect. This time the guy that runs... He bought a mind twice. He loved it so much.

This time the guy that runs against him is Adolf Sutra. Okay. All right. That's right. I'm coming. I'm German, but I want the Senate. Give it to me. Now, he wants to build these tunnels under the mines and all the mine owners like William

don't want to build those because it'll cost money. Sure. But it'll save lives. Right. But they're in the money part. Yeah. You heard about the money part. It's terrible.

Yeah. So they don't want to... These people would die for my money. Yes. I know that. Yes. They want to. They want to die for it.

Yes. Yes. They love me. Yes. Yes. Thank you. You should go into space in a rocket. I agree with you.

I'll take the whitest Dutch boy I can find with me. Now, when you landed, how come there weren't thousands of people to tear you apart, piece by piece? Ah, because... I thought you were highlighting your story over and over again. Careful. Delete all. Yes.

Then what do you do? Smart man without your pad. I just saw your mic cable highlighting the whole thing. Delete? There we go. That'll be fine. So, Sutro is going to D.C. and talking to members of Congress and being like, so this will save lives on my tunnel.

And the guys in D.C. are like, oh, fuck, great, let's do it. Oh, this is a different guy. And, oh, Sutro is Jewish. Okay. So, the enterprise now attacks him, saying he was, quote, from Assyria. What? And backed by certain foreign money lenders. Jews.

Cool. We need to do mic table stage. It's not very subtle. Foreign money lenders. The tails. Okay, so they're... So they're straight up saying this guy's Jewish. Right.

And, yeah. I know. Give her a minute. Give her a minute. If you need to recover, Sutro was a Jew. Just when we think we have a hero, he's a Jew. We wait for a new one, one who won't betray us later in the paragraph. Sutro was pro-labor, and so they labeled him a commie Jew.

What are you plotting? I said commie Jew. They voted for a commie Jew here. The biggest issue for William was that he still lived in San Francisco. I mean, okay. He was like, look, I live here because my wife has stomach cancer. Oh, and she's not a Jew. And then he was taking heat for being so rich.

People were like, okay, well, that's, you know, it's weird. Should I buy another paper to convince you that I'm dead? Confused I'm not a tough Jew. So one night he goes to the opera house in Virginia City, and he said, I think he's giving a speech or I don't know what's happening. But he said, quote, you know, I can't take my money with me. Saying like, you know, when I die, I can't take it with me. Uh-huh.

And someone stood up and yelled, if you did, it would burn. Good show myself out. All right, let's get this cock fight started. Wow, okay. Now during a speech, someone asked William about the Chinese. Oh, no. Literally, the question was, quote, what about the Chinese? No.

Too general. This could totally happen today. Oh, yeah. 100%. Mr. Adler, what about the Chinese? No, it's a pass from us. I can't believe he won. It's amazing.

Yeah. He's kidding, William. William said, he knew who could afford to buy a horse and who had to buy a jackass. I was talking about, this is the answer to the Chinese question. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not helping clarify the comedy for most of us. Still a little lost. Quote, but I do not wish you to understand from this that I am in favor of inviting

an inferior people to our shores. There it is. There it is. I am in favor of using all jackasses in place of horses. Oh, right, right, right. The Chinese were, yes, yes. That still resonates. So it is weird to hear of a rich guy getting people of different ethnicities to rage at

each other, but it has happened. Andy on the paper. Other rich guys came out and they called Sutro a, quote, great shadow. Wow. By the way, I'd vote for that guy. I would totally vote for him. I am a great shadow. Yes.

Vote for me, the great shadow. Imagine if I could do some recall. It was like recall. I mean, the great shadow. Yes. The great shadow. I will inaugurate myself some night. Awesome.

He won. Where is he? Oh, he lives in San Francisco? Oh, fuck. I just keep property there. My wife's sick. Sorry, I should have mentioned I'm a shadow of the Golden Gate Bridge. Great shadow.

But anyway, this is actually just a shadow of a bridge. So you have voted very poorly. We've elected a bridge shadow, everyone. But it's not a Jewish bridge. That's the town can take some comfort at night. It's night time. The senator's going away. Bye, everyone.

He'll be back in the morning, sort of. So they also would say Sutra had, he was a great danger. He had a wicked scheme. They're fucking just labeling him with all this shit. No, it's very hard to do that. And then William went and hired a public speaker. Oh, great. He's like, I'm not hearing a speaker.

Oh, man, I would do that job back then. That'd be what I did. He gets a pitchfair. Y'all ladies and gentlemen, you got him over William. That's what I do. Follow him, remember? Look at this guy. I'm a labeling.

I'm not even leaving footprints. This guy is so weightless. Look at him. Some say sickly. I say easy on the eyes. You got a problem with him? He's going to buy you, ladies and gentlemen. That's just the kind of guy he is.

I see him behind closed doors. He's just the guy he is in front of you. And he is just with me. Boy, he is regular. Whoo. So relatable. Joe Sixpack. Look at him nodding.

That head's full of compassion. Whoa. Thumbs up. He means it. All right. We're going to go lay in a tub of money for a little while. They will be back outside to shake your hands. He loves doing that.

I can't do this shit anymore. My heart died a month ago. So the guy's name that he hired as public speaker is Tom Fitch. And Fitch was known as the Silver Tongue to Order. So a year... There's silver in his tongue, I tell you. Hello. A year before, Fitch had made this long speech ripping Williams and the bank ring, but now

Williams was paying him. So now he's attacking Sutro. Archelian Conway. Too real? I don't know. But a while. Fitch was like second to like Mark Twain at the time, like he was... Okay.

And he delivered a speech titled, quote, Sutro, his boar, his caliber, his wanderings, to and fro upon the face of the earth. It's amazing that even back then, there's no like policy debate. It's just like, this guy's the worst. No, you're the worst. Well, pick who's the worst. What a great election this will be. So Williams won.

Okay, great. Thank God that Sutro didn't get in. After he paid for a... I heard bad things, by the way. Yeah, yeah. Awful. Yeah, a lot of problems. So afterwards, he paid for this massive lavish wedding for his daughter, because he'd put

it all off until after the election. Aw, that's nice. Because it was bad optics. Yeah, right. That's nice. He still hasn't been elected by the legislature, but the legislature won, so he's going to... Whatever. Wait, they...

Yeah, it's a technicality, right? He hasn't been elected by the people. The legislature's been picked in his favor, basically? Well, yes. Okay. Yes. The council. I'll throw a rich... I mean, it's a fucking massive, crazy wedding.

We're going to use the poorest pinatas. The real means back, baby. We're going to kill a rich person every hour. A poor. Poor. Jesus. Oh, fuck. I'm not a communist.

Oh, imagine that party. Okay. Sorry. One, please. Even joking. I can't say. Let's kill rich people. It's me, guys.

It comes through. I can't help it. He just doesn't care anymore. He's like, look, I won the election. It doesn't fucking matter. He also checked into the Glenbrook Hotel and registered as William Sharon and Lady. So he's just like... it's a mistress. He's just like, whatever.

I don't give a shit. Yeah. And remember, he ran the race saying, my wife is sick with stomach cancer. And I'm banging. Well, I don't want to catch it. I'm going to go over there and fuck this other lady in a room called the fuck shack. All right. See y'all.

So the legislature gets to get her vote for William. And some argue William's not constitutionally eligible because he doesn't live in Nevada. Well, Dave, I mean, you really keep banging that drum. I'm still sick of it. Yes. We get it. He doesn't live in Nevada. We'd love for him to be the representative.

So one said it was, quote, where his domicile and his family are. It is where he goes when he says, I am going home. Yes. It's where he goes when he calls it home. Everybody relax. Republicans counter. A lot of his mistresses are there. Hello.

Republicans counter. Do you know the guy? Republicans counter that he paid tax there and that was enough. Yeah. So he wins with two thirds of the vote and they put him in. Okay. And he went on to be one of the worst senators of all time. Well, Dave, we're on a little track to hear that.

From 1875 to 1881, he missed 1,466 of 1,588 roll calls in Congress. What? That's acceptable. Carefully, you're going to highlight it all again. That is crazy. 92% absence. Like he's a truant. What would you like?

He probably shows up like, oh, right. Yeah. Holy fuck. Well, he just went there and he just didn't like it. He was like, well, this is. Well, that doesn't show in the numbers. He started buying stock in a stock in a mind known as Ofer. That's the one I was telling you about, friends.

Don't touch my face. I'm your pal. Don't make me get the fiddle, boy. So once people hear that William is buying something, everyone fucking jumps in and buys it. They're like, oh my God, William is buying it. Right. So the stock price shoots to the roof and pretty soon William has control of the mind. Speculation leads to more and more people getting in and then William just quietly sells all of his shares.

Interesting, interesting. Even while other rich guys are buying, but then everyone realizes, oh fuck, it's overvalued and a panic happens. Everyone starts selling and William's like, I'm good. Okay. I told him, I scored. I thought this was when he's going to buy it again. You're like, boom. One of the guys that takes a huge hit is Ralston, the guy who owns the panic house in California.

Yeah, right. So he takes a massive fucking hit and this is his buddy. And it looks so bad and it's so blatant that people think that William has done it on purpose to Ralston. Like he's purposely fucked over his friend. Right. So that's not looking good. And then William's wife dies on May 14th, 1875. He must have been heartbroken.

It honestly did sound like he loved her. Okay. Like from the things, but he also just, you know, liked a lot of other ladies. Well, Dave, I guess it's time to talk about what love means to you. And how you define it. So it turns out Ralston had been going speculation crazy. He's going from one speculative investment to another. That's an HGTV show, by the way.

Yeah. Speculation crazy, yeah. Well, he keeps losing really, really badly. And William had said reel it in at some point. He's like, hey, man, you're getting fucking crazy with this shit. Do more. Gotcha. I've got a new advisor.

That's right. I work for him now, damn it. I told you, no matter how much you want me to go, I won't. So he asked Ralston at one point, he goes, what would you do if you couldn't like go for big payoffs anymore, and Ralston said, quote, like go to the cemetery. So, okay. So it is very much the like Wall Street mentality of like just go, go big, make as much as possible. Yeah.

That defines you. That's all that matters. Right, right. Oh, and it turns out Ralston was using not his money, but the bank of California money. Oh. So he is a real banker. With basically no supervision. Oh, yep.

No one's overseeing. Imagine that. And he's building the Palace Hotel in San Francisco, which is still there, which is a very fancy at the time, the fanciest hotel. Okay. And he's spending shitloads of money building that. It's possibly was just never a fucking good businessman. Sure.

Because one time he built a ballroom on his house for one event. His wife got mad. She found out he was cheating with someone. I'll get you a ballroom, baby. That's what happened. He's like, I want to fight. We throw a party and you have a ballroom. So he built a ballroom for one party and then they knocked it down the next day.

Well, I mean, that's what the Olympics are. Can you believe it? All this debt's worth it. No. Be cool. These soccer stadiums are going to be full with weeds one day. Exciting. In May, 1875, Ralston asked William to buy half of the Palace Hotel.

He's like, can you fucking help a brother out? Just throw it out for half this hotel. Sure. It's a bad sign when your big banking buddy does that. William agrees, but then he can't raise the money, which is 1.7 million. William can't raise? William can't raise that much cash at the time. We're going to have to sell tons of properties.

Oh, OK. Right. The bank board of directors. I feel like you could afford it if you wanted to. Probably. It seems like it. The bank board of directors then they take a look at the bank and they find the... But turns out, I think there's 2 million missing.

I fucking worded this incorrectly, but there's about 2 million missing from just not there. Interesting. Weird. It's like someone's been dipping into the bank. And they get told that and before they go in to look at it, Ralston goes and borrows 2 million, puts it in the bank for that day. What? He does a 2 million dollar day loan?

Yeah, he got a fucking day loan. He does. I know where it is. And then the board came in to look and they look in the vault and there's the money's there and the next day he takes it out. There was actually... Just like not good. There was actually just $500,000 in the bank and then a bunch of I use signed by Ralston.

The day after? Yeah. So they're like, OK, we got the 2 million. I got to go give it back to the guy who loaned it to me for the day. And then the next day they go in and it's all these... No, they didn't go in. That's what was in there. They didn't know.

In reality, it's $500,000 in a bunch of notes. Hey, I'll pay you back later. Right, right. And they think it's 2 million. It's the dumb and dumb economy. Yeah. Yeah. So Ralston starts selling everything he can to cover this amount that he's down.

OK. And word gets out because he's having a fucking fire sale. Sure. And then it starts a run on the bank. And he got a company. OK. So he gets a company to mint a bunch of coins. And he piles them up on the counters.

So... This is unreal. So when people are... We're not poor. It's everywhere. How could we be poor? So we're banana. Excuse me.

Let me move to these coins. Oh my lord. There's just... Money's everywhere. Can you pause it, I hope? Well, let's get the ladder to go to the top of the coin pile. Oh boy. Oh.

This is how it works. As far as some of you guys get to see how the sausage gets made in this way. It's exciting. Well, apparently this had worked at other banks before. It doesn't take much to convince us. We're so simple. But... They gotta have a lot of money.

It didn't work here. People still are pulling their money. On August 25th, another millionaire guy... Oh, can I... Oh, give me one. You can already have one. It was brought... Thank you, Mass.

You buy me one. I was gonna say I was gonna buy you one. Okay, so he's back. Thank you. So people are still around the bank. On August 25th, at night, another millionaire guy came to Rawlson and offered him a loan of one million. Rawlson passed on it. Yeah, what?

I don't know why. I couldn't figure out why. No. No, I wanna get fucked over. We got a bunch of coins on the counters now. It seems to have sold everyone pretty well. So with the run going on, the board got together and they did a quick audit and concluded that Rawlson had taken between four and four and a half million dollars.

Fucking eight. Which today would be about thirty million dollars. Oh my God. Oh my God. But a lot of IOUs. Which I plan on repaying. Boys, we're swimming in IOUs. Oh, once the IOU economy comes in.

Woo, we're flush. So by two p.m. the next day, there is a big crowd outside the bank trying to get their money. Weird. And... What's their deal? Is it crazy? The bank closes. They're like, no, we're...

Sorry. I like it. It's the spirit airlines of banks. We're not at a bank anymore. Does that work? Fuck. Lock the doors. Doc, everyone, doc.

We were a bank. We're not now. We now sell umbrellas like a lot of the other shops. I know you had money here, but we're not a bank now. Yeah. Go somewhere else. Don't be dicks. Doc, really low.

Get low. I can't get that low. Their vision is based on movement. When we finish the wine, we'll talk to you some more. We're not a bank. Go home. It's been 20 minutes. We're not becoming a bank again.

You're wasting your days. So, the next day, Rawlsson, he goes to William and he deets... Hey, how are you? He deets all of the property that he owns to William. Here you go. Now, will you buy some IOUs now? Then the board makes Rawlsson resign. Weird.

He was also living in an apartment owned by the bank and they kick him out of the apartment. Okay. He's going to be living in the vault within a week. He's back here. Hello. This is all happening within like two hours. Okay. All right.

Rawlsson walks out of the bank and he goes down onto the street and he bumps into this doctor he knows. Hello. And he says, a guy says, what are you doing? I got the guy. I played doctor. I cast myself. He says, I'm going to go swimming in the ocean. What do I think of that?

What do you think of that? What do I think of that? What's my next line? Quote, he felt like a schoolboy offers holidays. That's what you say. Well, you are filled with an exuberance that is only reminiscent of a... Gosh, how would I even say it? A schoolboy are filled for his holidays.

Medically speaking. You're in a great mood. Are you making fun of me because I'm 135 pounds? Sorry, I thought you were the other guy. I thought you were Rawlsson. So Rawlsson seems really happy and he's just like, hey. Oh, you are him. This is an old friend of his.

The mother's dead, you fool. So there's a place that usually swam in North Beach and he goes out there. And he gets a towel from his little towel guy there. This is going to take a weird turn, isn't it? You're setting it up real nice. He gets a towel. He's going to have to dry himself off in the water. He goes swimming.

He goes swimming. He takes a little dip. Just a guy who just lost his... It's just a man dipping, gang. It's just a guy who lost his life and I was going for a swim. Sure. And then a little while later, a guy sees someone struggling out in the water. Rescuers swim out and he's floating face down.

Everyone is shocked. Grown men. Rawlsson is such a big deal that grown men are just crying in the street. The great Rawlsson has died. It's North Korean. Yeah, it'll be okay. She really got hit by a heart over there. The good news is he would be dead either way now.

Hope that helps. That's right. You're welcome. You're welcome. So all these people are devastated. The banks basically was a pyramid scheme, right? He was just fucking taking the money and... Yeah, I don't understand why everyone's devastated or why.

Because he helped build up San Francisco. I guess. Or they also might be crying in the streets because he's the head of the bank and they're like, oh my god, we're fucked. I don't know. Wow. Is there anything more American than weeping over a bank man dead? Who will fuck us?

Who will relentlessly take our shit? Did you hear a banker died? We are not home. When there's smoke out that chimney, there's a new banker. Till then we wait. There's such a big hole. Who else will tell us where to put the money? I have an idea.

Oh fuck, we're in trouble. Yeah, I got a good investment. I got a tip and a fiddle. Fuck me. Yes, that's it. So, Ralston left nothing for his wife. Well, he had nothing. She has what I have.

She gets half of it. It's nothing. Remember, he gave all his property to William. Yeah. Yeah, the good guy, the hero. William would later say that he, there was no money remaining after he sold Ralston's property and paid off his debts. This guy doesn't have money.

He can't give anyone money. But when an independent audit was done, William was lying. He was just trying to keep money from the widow. Weird. Weird. Seems weird. He settled out of court on that one. But look, right away people blame the bank ring for Ralston's death

and their fucking pissed. Which is the craziest thing to me, because he ripped off the bank. Yeah. I mean, ridiculously. But they are all so fucking mad. They're like, you guys didn't help him and you threw him out. You let him steal that money, you jerk off. And the guy they blamed the most was William.

Okay. And they also now blamed him for the bank failing. Great. I mean, I'll take it. We'll take it. We'll take it. It didn't help that William had spoken of Ralston's quote, never ending extravagances.

So after he died, he's like, look, this guy. And William, this guy, he really, he was a spender. So unlike me. Everyone hates William. They're furious with him. They're blaming for all this stuff. He just gets on with business and he comes up with a plan to save the bank. This is going to get him to move to Nevada.

Never. He buys all Ralston's debt. Yeah. He reached out to the guys to put money in from, he wants to form a syndicate of guys. Everyone to put money in to save the bank. And meeting is going for six weeks and it works. Okay.

He does it. He saves the fucking bank. Okay. Now people are like, oh my God. William is awesome. William is so good. We all love, we love him. We're so easy to manipulate.

It's so simple. October 2nd, 1875, the bank opens again. The same day the Palace Hotel opens. He did that on purpose. Huh? Who's your guy? Huh? Yeah.

Who loves you? Matthew Magley, quote, an animated crowd blocked California Street. Wow. Through traffic. Wow. Fucking weird. Weird turn, Dave. A top telegraph hill, guns were fired in the air.

A top telegraph hill. And the bank's great front doors opened inward. Tellers and clerks stood ready. And clerks. Nope. Piles of gold stacked on the counters. Look how efficient and serious we are. Good lord.

You'd think we'd have time to clean up all the, we didn't. There's that much gold. That should make everyone feel good. So there's no run on the bank. And it closed that day a million up. They got a million deposited and William's a hero. Okay. Three weeks later, Virginia State, he burned down.

Well, that's quite a little jab right there. Just a quick shiv in the showers, more or something. So, okay. That's not good. It had started at Crazy Kate's brothel. Where most fires started. Yeah, obviously. Just fucking and throwing fire around.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what happens. Pyrojakes in town. After you fuck me, I'm going to burn the drapes. Crazy case. Don't do it. All right.

All right, everybody. No mines were burned. So it just led to another recovery boom. William gets richer. Great. The, it's, oh, it's all right. He's, I don't know why I put this here again, but he, he's, he goes through this big settlement thing with, with Rawlson's wife.

He, he, he really tried to fuck her over and people are like, oh, that's not good. Good. Right. So he's going back and forth on this shit. So he's like, I'll negotiate with her. Fine. You guys want me to have a lighter tone? I'll negotiate.

So William has all this money now because the mines are doing well. He's building up Virginia city and he takes his profits and starts investing in real estate and he buys over 400 properties. Christ. And he, he, he, so he's pulling his money out of Nevada mines. And of course Nevada mines started falling on hard times in the 1870s, but he's sitting pretty cause he put all on property. He had missed 90% of the votes in Congress as I said,

but he still ran for reelection. You know what I'm going to do it again. I'll be honest. It's way easier than I thought. Let's go for another run. Don't take that much. Who do you want your man to kind of be there? I remember doing it for you when they were doing the Trump impeachment and they all had to sit there

and they were all like, it was like they were doing like nine hour days and they were all falling asleep and they're going, this is so hard. It's so hard to do that. And you're like, motherfucker, how are you out of your mind? You shouldn't be saying this out loud. Can you imagine where like I'm sitting in a chair for nine hours doing nothing? We're exhausted. When's vacation?

So his Democratic opponent was also a rich mind owner. Two great options. But his opponent dressed like a minor and got rid of his fancy carriage and just rode around in a simple wagon and went into pubs. Hey, I'm one of you. I'm one of the boys. Hey, I'm out around the ails for me and my city amigos. Look at all of us.

Same page. And William was like, but he lives on Knob Hill. Well, in a wagon I do. With my best friend, Canary Carl. Just me and him. If I'm so rich, why am I covered in all this dirt? What makes you find poor boys? Just like you, I ride a wagon to work.

Is that right? I walk. I walk. I walk too. Fuck wagons. No more wagons. Walk for me. I got nothing.

Call makeup. I need some more. Yes. Hurry too. Also, this is cold. William said, quote, fair says he is an actual resident in Nevada. These words were penned at his place on San Francisco's Knob Hill. They think he possesses the means to purchase or oppress the voters of Nevada.

It makes the blood curdle in my veins that a man should perpetrate such a crime. Can you imagine someone like me running against me? Fuck this. Fuck him. Who the fuck would run against me and act like they're not me? He's fake, like me. I'm telling you the truth that I'm a fucking asshole. He's acting like he's not, but he is.

I know who's full of shit because I'm full of shit. This guy's full of shit. People asked why he was never in Nevada and why he almost never voted. I'm in the mine. William said, look, I'm usually, no, William asked that. The other guy, like, he's a minor. I know, but I think William, in my pitch, William started to dress up like a minor too. Oh, he did too.

He's got a, like, you know, the little lantern hat on. Sure. William said he was usually in San Francisco because he had to manage Nevada's financial interests and that took a lot of time and focus. Yes. You have to watch the money. You have to keep an eye on it. Now, before it was because his wife was sick, but now it's because he's helping the people

in Nevada. Yeah. When asked how he could become an effective Nevada senator while living in California, he said, quote, I am a resident of the state of Nevada by virtue of my office. There we go. No more questions about that. That ought to put that to rest. Where my office lives, I live.

By the way, what's it look like there? I haven't been there in a long time. Still pronounced Nevada? Is the X caliber still there? Treasure Island buffet, still the serving clown noses. William's newspaper, quote, the masses have not blamed him for they knew he was detained simply because he had voluntarily taken the burdens of others upon his shoulders to carry. Wow.

And you said that was the Bible? Oh, the paper. Sorry. The paper. Sorry. So both Democrats and Republicans are upset that William is not never in the Senate. Sure. And now he's running again and like, seriously, what the fuck?

I like this part of him. Every other part I ate. But he said he wasn't ready to go to, quote, Washington City, as you call it. Well, I know they're like, sir, it's D.C. Washington City. I'm not ready to go to Washington Town just yet. No, I haven't seen enough yet. But he also wasn't ready to give up his seat.

He also had to attend the California Constitutional Convention. So he's kind of locked to fucking do it. And so he goes to the California Constitutional Convention and he, he and other rich guys form like a block. And then there's this thing called the Working Man's Party. Oh. One of their leaders is a guy named David Terry. And Terry is very successful. And workers get in the Constitution, accountability of bankers, state board equalization, and the capitalists are fucking furious.

They can't believe this shit happened. They're calling it, quote, communistic and malicious. Yes. Again, terms that are getting more and more validated. He's like, okay, so he's a good guy? Okay. A couple of months later, William finally went back to D.C. It had been four years since-

You've been in Washington City. Yes, Washington City. It had been four years- Who's that big stone man? Is he a senator? That's Lincoln City. Oh. It had been, it had been four years since he had been there and he lasted a whole two months before he failed.

Okay. Yeah. I mean, being repelled by the government is not necessarily a bad thing. Yeah. So he goes back and now the election happens. It's a national election. Huge turnout. Republicans win big.

Everywhere except for Nevada. Democrats won the state- I love that sound effect. Democrats win the state legislature. That means they pick the new senator. Oh, no. It was the- They better go with William.

It was the most corrupt election in state history. People were just out buying votes. Sure. And out in the open, like just handing people money in the street. By the way, can we go back to that system? I feel like it's- If that happened, I'd be like, well, at least I know what I want. $20.

They would start with the usual $5 and they would go all the way up to $80 for a vote. Well, those $5 people really caved easily. No, no, no, no pushback. Thank you so much. What'd you get? Huh? You gave me a toothpick. Oh, shit.

I got $80. What? For what? In a ham. For what? Yeah, same here for a toothpick. And then he also gave me two horses and a summer home. I got a mine.

I got a copper mine. He said that he knows a wizard who can get me to fly. So, hey, enjoy your ham, dumb shit. Want to buy a toothpick for a million dollars? No. Me, neither. Sir? Sir?

So, they justified paying people off by saying they had to get William out of office. They were literally just like, look, there's no way to get William out of office. He's a rich guy. Yeah. We got to pay people. Which makes sense. It does. It does.

It's just amazing how, again, you can always, like, how similar politics is where you just go, this guy's the worst. People are like, he is, we'll go for anything else. Historian Russell Elliott quotes, Sharon's record in the United States Senate is one of the worst in the history of that legislative body. His record of inaction is unbelievable. He was seated at only five sessions and was recorded on less than 1% of all roll calls. That's really fucking amazing.

And he ran again. I know. He's like, come on, let's run it back. For those of you who weren't paying attention, we killed it. So anyway, he lost it. Really? He's probably not going to notice much of a difference in his travel skills. So he goes back to San Francisco.

He spends his time working as the president of the Bank of California. He also has a new girlfriend, lover, lady. Sarah. You put that real weird. Sarah Althea Hill. Okay. Sarah is fucking smoking hot. Okay.

And she's 30, he's 59. Right age. Yeah. Yeah. Lots to talk about. I hope parts of me don't come off. Wait, what is he saying? All I say.

I hope parts just don't fall off while I'm with you, young'un. What he said? That's right. The audience clamored for me. Want another rib? Sarah came from Missouri, her father was a state legislator, uncle governor, but her parents died when she was a child. And Sarah and her brother, Hiram Morgan, got about $500,000 in today's money when they aged up.

Right? So she's got a little bit of cash. She and Hiram moved to SF in 1871. She meets William when she's in the bank one day. Okay. And he settles over because she's hot. And he hears her talking about investing and he's like, you know, swing by my office. We'll talk about investing.

Put some money in. Sure. And she doesn't, but a week later they see each other again and she invites him up to her hotel room to talk investments. Yeah, that is great. I'd love to talk investments. Yes. In hotel rooms.

Yes. Perfect. Hi. Hello. So he has a super nice house on Nob Hill right next to the spy fence. His family lived in the house, but he also had a suite of rooms at the Palace Hotel. So his kids and stuff are there and he's got a suite of rooms. Wait, sorry.

He's got a house and then he puts his kids in and then he's in the Palace Hotel in his suite of rooms. Okay. In his suite of rooms. Okay. He's clearly just fucking all the time. Well, yeah. Pretty clear.

Yeah. He was there half the time. He also had talked the city government into assessing the value of the $5 million Palace Hotel at a million dollars so he could save money on taxes. Okay. Yeah. He said it was because the hotel improved the city and it was more of an ornament. Yeah, that's true.

That's true. If you think of cities as trees, it really was. Couple of months after meeting, Sarah moves into some rooms at the Grand Hotel, which I'd like you to share some of my rooms here and never meet my family I keep at a house. Yeah. So he owns that hotel. He came here from the Palace Hotel and a bridge connected them over the street. Wow.

Okay. Cool. Cool. I call that my fuck bridge. Yes, yes, yes. Come with me through the screw moat. So they were, he didn't care. They were seen in public all the time together.

Sure. When his daughter, Flora, was married, Sarah was at the wedding and he considered Sarah his mistress. He paid for her. Wow. What a big, what a big, what a, that's awesome to get that commitment out of him. Oh, it's a title. Yeah.

Finally. Yeah. I'm willing to make you my mistress officially. Oh my God. Yes. Yes, I will. Not that finger. Jesus Christ.

Pinky. Pinky. So he pays for the fancy hotel and he gives her tons of cash. He gives her like 500, a thousand bucks a month. Does that enough? It's like 12,000 to 25,000 a month. He's giving it. That's great.

Listen, I'd be there. Yeah. It's a fucking sugar, sugar daddy situation, right? Sure. She was at his side for social events and in turn he got to have a lot of sex. You know, it's, this is a, it's a strange relationship. One based fully on love you feel. Okay.

Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. She wanted to get married. He did not. Hmm. Strange.

Seven, 7,500 if she would forget about the marriage thing. How about I pay you to not want to marry me? Is that possible? I respect you so much. What would the figure be to put on your feelings? I love you so much. I'll pay you to shut the fuck up about marriage. Stick around and just shut your mouth.

What'll it take? Oh God, I love you. Except when you bring up that stuff. You know what we should do? Fuck. And you should shut up about stuff. You do a lot of feeling stuff and that's just not working for me. I'm going to go to the fuck bridge and play football with my kids whose names escaped me.

And then I'll come back and you better do a little less mer-mer-mer. I'll throw money at you and then maybe we can lay in bed and do coital things. Good? Okay. Okay, great. God, I love you. Shelly. Now, in 1881 William had a heart attack.

From love. He sometimes had to spend quite a bit of time in bed. Yeah, during votes. Votes. And then in November he and Sarah ended their relationship. It seemed really good though. On September 8th, 1883 William was getting on a train when he was arrested and charged with adultery. Of all things to fucking arrest this man for.

So you're under arrest. You know how many people that ripped off? What? Nothing. Wait, what is this for? That's like one time when a cop pulled me over and he goes, you know what I pulled you over for? I go talking on the cell phone and he goes, you ran a stop sign. I was like, I'm never going to answer that question.

Adultery. You're under arrest. You're going to jail for fucking others. So headlines run all over the country. He wrote about his well-known past, quote, notorious bad character. The Daily News said he was amorous and his morals showed a, quote, sad commentary. So he's fucking livid in all these headlines around the country. Time to buy some papers.

Also no one understands how he's guilty of spousal infidelity since he's a widow. Well, the charges included affairs he had had over the last three years. He's fucking. That's right. That's right. And included one, Gertie Dietz, who had had a child with him. Gertie Dietz. But none of the women had brought the charges.

Okay. One who did bring the charges was his mistress, Sarah Hill, who said they had been secretly married and so those nine affairs were adultery. Oh, nice. There we go. That's why you marry me, bitch. William strongly denied the charges. He told friends he didn't need to marry her, quote, whatever may be, whatever may have

been lacking in my lovemaking, $500 a month supply. Oh. Hey, buddy, you just said that out loud. You just said that out loud. Whatever. I'm not that great at fucking, so I gave her money, gentlemen. I don't need to marry her. It's called a premature fee.

I come early and often, and that's why I have a checkbook. I'd like to buy three orgasms after that terrible session. Is that possible? How much for you to come? How does it work? Where does the money go? Woman? I'd like to make a deposit.

Quickly, too. So all together during their relationship, he'd given her about $40,000, which is about a million today. Okay. So William filed an appeal to cancel and annul the marriage contract by declaring it a forgery. Oh, okay. So they go to court. Corm's packed, obviously.

This is a big fucking show to get into. Sarah presents the marriage contract. It has vows of matrimony by both of them and their signatures. William looked at it, and he's furious, and he shouts that it's a forgery. Sarah takes a stand, and she said having a secret marriage had been William's idea in the first place. That sounds very William. Sarah also had given letters written by William to her while he was campaigning.

Each started with my dear wife. Is there any incriminating evidence? Nope. One of Sarah's lawyers is David Terry, who was at the California Constitutional Convention. Right. The working man's party guy. Right. And so William...

So he's still got the coal outfit on? What's up, ass face? So William already hates this guy. Right. Terry's huge. Terry's six foot three and about 220 pounds. He has a terrible temper. Okay.

Is he pugnacious? He's pugnacious. Yes. He's in his sixties, he still has a temper. He had fought in the Mexican-American war. He'd become a lawyer. He was elected to the California Supreme Court. He was the Chief Justice in 1855.

In 1856, he by himself confronted San Francisco's Vigilance Committee, and he stabbed one with his Bowie knife. What? And he still is in charge of a court? No. No, I think that he's not. Oh. Years later, he shot and killed California Senator David Broderick and a duel.

He was acquitted of the murder on a technicality. He also fought in the Civil War for the South, became a Brigadier General, and now he's Sarah's lawyer. This is like... Wow. The fact that you can stab and duel people and be like, and I'm back into society. So simply? Yeah.

That's a fault. I would say, I would, do you think duels will come back? Yeah, yeah, I hope so. I would say within 15 to 20 years, it'll be legal to be like, what about we kill each other in the street? Like, legally. Yes. Sarah was also very volatile.

One day during the trial, she pulled a gun from her purse. You've had to tackle her and grab it from her purse. Oh, sure. Yeah, well, you know, tempers flare. Another time. Order! Like, what are you doing? Order!

Come on down! Come on! Another time the judge put her in jail for 24 hours for refusing to produce documents for a handwriting analysis. So... There's a lot... This is strange. On Christmas Eve, 1884, the judge decided that Sarah Hill was the legal wife of William

Sharon. Okay. She was therefore entitled to a divorce and a division of common property. This is when he doesn't want to live in California anymore. No, no, no! We're not from here! I'm from the Virginia City people! He ordered William to pay $2,500 a month in alimony and $55,000 for her legal fees.

That's great. Plus an orgasm fee. William's health quickly deteriorated. You're trying to get that applause going in the room, sir. By the way, not what you want to hear after a clap stops. Don't hit me. Someone hit you. Let's not hit women at our show.

Please. Pay a fee to stop clapping. The movement continues. On November 13th, 1885, he protected his estate from Sarah by filing a deed of trust leaving his fortune to family members. That must have been hard for him. But it didn't matter. Six weeks after he died, the federal court ruled the marriage contract of forgery.

Yeah, he shouldn't be clapping anymore. So he died before he knew. I mean, I guess we could take some peace of mind that he died being like, I'm a fucking loser. Yeah, it's great. It's great. Hill and Terry, Sarah and Terry, then get married. He was 62 and she was 32.

Jesus. She has a type. I might have daddy issues. I don't know. Oh, fucks. They still fought to get Williams money by appealing. The California Supreme Court agreed that the marriage was legitimate and then Williams lawyers appealed.

What the fuck? If you're still his lawyer, be like, fuck it. It doesn't matter. I mean, what am I representing? Now it's the family. Oh, okay. Right. Yeah.

Finally, the original judge declared the marriage contract was a fraud as the federal court had. So right, a federal court that did. And then Sarah told the judge she'd been bought off. Terry lost it, pulled out his Bowie knife and charged, but he was tackled. They learned. They were like, not this time, cracking up on me. Sarah, they got 30 days in jail and Terry got six months.

Now they both hated Judge Field, who was the judge. On August 14th. I feel like we're going to learn a little bit more about that plot. On August 14th, 1889, David and Sarah walked up to a table Judge Field was eating at in a restaurant at the Stockton Train Depot. Terry quote, lightly slapped him on the cheek twice. That's it? So the judge's bodyguard shot and killed Terry Jesus Christ.

I thought that was going to go the other way. That's a good bodyguard. The only thing I'll say is let's talk about escalate. Sarah went downhill after that in 1892. She was committed to the Stockton insane asylum. It's bad enough to just be committed to Stockton. She lived there for the last 45 years of her life. You mean most of her life?

Yes. Almost all of her life. Sorry, you fucked the two wrong people. Most source of this is the infamous King of the Comstock by Michael J. Mackley. Anyway, that's the story of William Sharon, King of the Comstock. It's just nice to hear a story about a winner, a hero, something we can look up to. America has heroes and that's what I'm talking about. Yeah, and that is the prototype of our hero.

Yeah, someone who takes everything and won't give any away. God, we love it. I'm glad we knew that. And no taxes. Yes. Why would you? No, that makes no sense. That's for the others to pay.

At least we haven't changed anything. Well, what do we do now? I forget how do we wrap out of these? Do you want to do the intro again? I don't know what to do. You've been listening to... That's what we should start doing. Yeah.

You've been listening to... Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Thanks, Tommy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't have much to say. I don't know.

It is just so ridiculously similar. They're all terrible people. Yeah. Yeah. It is... I mean, it's just amazing the track record we have of never really... Fixing anything? Yes.

Thank you for putting it so succinctly. Yes, exactly that. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. You'd think, like, at some point we would reach a breaking point. Like, we'd be like, fuck. We get close. The French did it.

But now they're, like, still getting fucked over. Not as bad, though. Not as bad. No, because... They still the French. They're like, hey, you guys can't... Yeah. You guys have to work to, like, six.

And they're like, riot! No, there's a taxon-goo-was. They're like, there's a street. So how are you in the Texas, huh? Yeah. Fuck off! And then the government's like, oh, fuck. That's peace to game.

Yeah. Fuck it. Cave, cave. But we're like, man, it sucks. Fuck. It sucks so much. Shit. Well, I'll just go work 12 hours.

Oh, fuck. What else are you going to do? But that's what you were saying when we were talking about a general strike. Like, because there's a general strike call coming up soon. And the thing you were saying, which we do obviously support greatly, but the problem is that we, you know, and it's what's so brilliant about the scheme is that people are strung so tight right now and things are so tight that you cannot risk, you know, you can't risk in the short term losing your income and shit.

And that's why it's so hard. It's such a hard thing to actually fucking pull on. You can't have a mutual strike without. You can't have a strike without mutual aid. You can't have a strike without. You need unions. But even without unions, you need mutual aid. You need people who are going to set up.

You need rich people who are good. People, yeah. But you need people who are going to set up, you know, lunch and breakfast and dinner for people and who are going to provide for people and you need to set up a massive. Which is why you're wearing that dress with the eat the rich on it. That's right. I think it'll change the lifestyle. That'll do it.

That'll take care of the problem. That'll do it, yeah. Yeah, well, cool. Cool. Well, I think it's cool. It's a cool system. And it's nice to be back in front of people sharing how cool the system is together. It's been too fucking long.

Really, thank you guys so much for coming out. We appreciate the fuck out of it. It's very nice to be doing a live show. So thank you so much. I'll see you guys in the parking lot when we're going to curb and beat the fuck out of Dave. Thank you, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.