The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 52 - The Past Times with James Fritz

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and guest comedian James Fritz Redbubble Merch

And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb. I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. Maybe you stayed in Airbnb before and you thought to yourself this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host. All right everybody welcome to the past times podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date history picked up by Dave Anthony.

I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week. James Fritz, James I didn't even ask you what you were supposed. Social media? What's the best thing to be able to follow? Social media is fun. Where's the social media? I never want to not be on it now Are you at well too late? You're promoting it. Are you at James Fritz? I'm at Fritz is dead on everything

I thought it was would be funny when I was younger Like when I die it's gonna be funny when people look James you have a but you also have an album out, yes? Yeah. Let's hope you can check that out. It's called Stoltogather on a special thing records. And you, we are huge fans of yours. You are a hilarious comedian, just one of the funniest

to do your fingers crossed. They can't see it. Well, this is audio. They can't see. Yeah, they can't. They don't need to see it. Patriot people can see it, but they already know everything we say is a lie. Fair.

But thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. Well, it's an honor privilege. So I like to, James, I'm talking. So I'm gonna need you to, I don't. You're gonna put the announcement. I don't, I just need to put up the announcement. I don't need to put up the announcement. We didn't have you on the podcast

to hear what you have to fucking say, man. It's your time to speak, the light'll go on. You know how the podcast works. Where is the light? Is it in my office? That's Christ. All right, three, two, Gareth. Okay, so we're gonna guess what year this paper is from.

I like to have a guess you get to have a guess. I, um, I'm gonna tell you I'm pretty sure we're gonna be in the late 1800s or 1900s. That's my guess for right now. Interesting. Cause I know the Dave talked to the guy who does the research and he was like, Hey, spread it around a little bit. So I feel comfortable giving you a little inside track. So you can just say late.

Sure, yeah, you can say that. Sure. I'll pick a year. No, you got to pick a year. No, imagine you're on the prizes right. The Bob Barko and Natu K. I'm gonna guess this paper's from 1908. Okay. James, you guess. Okay, I was waiting for the light.

Oh, sorry. Is that the answer? It's gonna be really confusing for you. The bulbs out. That's gonna be a nightmare. Let's see. I would guess. I'm going crazy. I'm going like early 2003. So to look like just like a paper in the last three weeks. Yeah, like the last couple of days has been really funny. So that's James gets it. Like that's what we're going to go. Because one day we will do like the 2005 one. It'll be really weird.

I think. Yeah. I remember. That's my letter to the website advertisement what year is this again? Going 19 oh, I thought you picked You're gonna do 1863. Interesting. It is 1958. Oh shit. How about James?

He's on it. He's a lot on it. He's like more like on the pulse of protest than you are. He's off. You said 1642. You're in it even a year. It is October 15th, 1958, and the newspaper is the Eureka Humboldt Standard. Oh, here we go.

We, if you don't know where that is, that is very, very northern California. It's Anthony Country. It's Anthony Country. It's a really nice place. It's Opie's Anthony country. It's a really nice place. It's OPM. Yes. It is very much OPM. Big headline on the front page. Big, big bold headline. I witness. I witness is C Bigfoot. Oh shit. Leave story. By the way, you've ever been to your Rika. So much Bigfoot shit. There is a giant picture of three dudes standing on a footprint being measured. If you were main evidence of big foot existing as a picture of three men

mainly, I don't think you have the goods. No, they got a footprint. A big print. Okay. You can't job. You can't think of footprint. Garrett. That's true.

You can't. We're going down to the big foot. Prett. See if it's legit. Come on, boy. Isn't that a pancake house? Shut up. All right.

Photographic proof that there are big foot tracks in the upper bluff creek area was obtained last night. Last creek is bigger. Yeah, that's right. He's right up there. That's where. Yeah. I think that was the liar's corner. Yeah. It there. That's where. Yeah. I think that was the last corner.

Is that fib is laying? Yeah, that's right. Yeah. A picture by Eureka newspapers, photographer Neil Holbert, bringing out the shape of the print with sprinkled flower is reporter Bill Chambers. What's he doing? Ed, he's bringing out the shape of the flower. You're going to want this with a little bit of flour about the sugar. Huh? What do you do? Is this not the crepe maker?

We get the fuck out. What are you doing? Eh, foot the crepe. Huh? There you go. Ed's shit. I think the rumors are true. Big crepe is real. You get over here. We are sidebarred hard right now my man Ed Shillinger Stake Stake Seder Stake Seder Stave okay

I mean it says steak Center I just don't know Crap and then such a stack I just don't know. Stake set up. He's the 8k. Crepe and then such a stack. Oh, it's a bigfoot's Crepe and Stake. Yes, it's Crepe and Stake. Come on off, it's the big prince.

Oh, he is a... Crepe and Stake. Come on, it was the worst idea for a restaurant ever. Crepe and Stake. No, does it have a theme? Well, sorry to have a limitation, I guess, is it doesn't have a theme? Well Sorry, I'm a limitation I guess is the same You're something to groups and bigfoot So where's bigfoot

Oh pretty what do you think the steak is from? He's a big one steak. I'm sorry. I'm so glad. It is a steak center on the road building project. He found the prints, which follow down the track of a bulldozer for about 50 feet. W R was the bulldozer.

Yeah. Had the gun had too much gonger and ran over a big foot. Oh, shit, man. Okay. So this is the best. So W R Wallace, whose nickname is shorty Okay, great and he's talking about big foot. He might just be talking about regular size man Like what size like how many feet how many feet

Shoo Shorty. Shorty. Shorty, you say this. Don't use another South Squatch. It's talking down to me right now. It's a matter of fact. Shorty, you don't find this conversation online. We find peace, Martian man. Shorty, that's the only good one.

You look like an alien being the bear. He, I'm just this, I'm fighting. Everyone who's not from my gene pools, one of them. There it is, this is I'm just this I'm fine. Everyone was not from my gene pulls one of them. Oh, there it is. There it is. So large. Yeah, we go. That is racism. Oh, which is acceptable right now. I believe. Oh, fair enough. Continue. As I was. Shorty has seen many of the tracks in the arca.

Well, yeah, he's low to the ground. He sees all the tracks. Yeah, he sees all the tracks. Shorty, get down there, get down there, look for the footprints. Well, poof. You don't have to taste it to tell. Is that we not in Grape and Stick?

Shorty believes it is not a hoax. That might be my favorite sentence I've ever heard. Shorty believes it's not a hoax. Believes. Very good. There's a big sub headline. Two men tell of seeing huge thing cross-bluft freak road early Sunday night. Could you be less specific? We got to get to the bottom of this.

It was a big move. Big foot has been seen to construction workers on the bluff timber access road construction job claim an ape light creature bounded across the road in front of their car Sunday night. At the same time as the astounding eye witness report, it was learned the footprints actually are in Del Norte County, thus putting the Humboldt Sheriff's Office out of the picture through loss of jurisdiction. Ah! This is like the same reason they never used to catch cereal killers. Yeah. Our mates wouldn't communicate. I imagine if that's the only reason we haven't found Bigfoot.

Because he just knows, well, Darryl Norty begins, he's like, man. He's good. He's playing a real game of foot and mouse. He's good, all right. It's the case if we need you to move the life. The only way a little man. The case, if there is an illegal aspect, thus becomes the property of their ain't no we're suing Sasquatch they called me crazy they said you never

win a case against Sasquatch it never gets a peanut he won't answer to his name they said now I might just be a small town Sasquatch lawyer but I know a thing or two listen Tom you've never actually prosecuted a case properly. You should stop referring to yourself as a Sasquatch lawyer probably I believe He says you have no jurisdiction damn back. Can I get a minute to get new AirPods? These ones have vanished new AirPods. These ones have vanished. That was terrible. Oh, yeah. Well, you heard your first big foot. You heard your first big foot.

So we should kill him. Well, Sue, I'm not sure. Yeah, all right. So we're not a civilized. You're right, hand big man. Bob, dumbass. He's are idiot. So thus becomes the property of Dell,

Norte share of Oswald Hovegard rather than Hovegard. Excuse me, Robert Nicholman. Excuse me, Robert Nicholman. Can you rewind that first name for me? Dell, Norte share of Oswald Hovegard. Hovegard. Hovegard.

I think it was Hovegard. Okay, so, so, hog guard rather than humble chair of Albert Nichols who has proclaimed concern in the case. So, Nichols is concerned. He's like this guy could be a robber or a murderer. Yep. The report of the sighting of the thing by Ray Kerr, 43, and Leely Briezeal, 35, both of McKinleyville

was... Cannot read that. Related over... I have, sometimes I just have to figure out the words, or that's fine. I don't know the rhythm. Was related over a campfire. Of course they did over campfire. It really sort of takes a while.

Hey boys, I got some, I got some new, I got some story, I got something happen, I got everybody, can we get a campfire going for it? Hold on before you get into it, let's slide a campfire to make this legal. Can we stop having our city hall meetings at the campfire? Why don't you shut up and put a winner at the end of this stick. Now once these are cooked, as you know, the gavel is banged. First, we call it the talking weiner. The talking weiner.

And of the talking weiner. The tainer was related over a campfire shortly after the humble, not you, Shorty. I said, shortly. Oh, short. These shorty. cocktail weiner's are like regular hot dogs This guy's amazed by everything everything's big where I'm standing from

I don't know if you've picked up on this gentleman, but I'm quite tiny Your cousin tiny tell this shorty this fire looks like hail to me I don't know if I don't know if you're supposed to do this as a journalist but Over a campfire shortly after the humble standard team of myself and photographer Neil Hubert had closely inspected a row of footprints. You know, that's your self into the story. No, you don't go. I talked to him. He talked to him. He talked to him for me.

Who when reach for comment said he was pretty sure. Headline. I seen it. I believe it. I need a second opinion. Me too. Kerr, who was driving when it crossed the road about 400 feet in front of the car, said he saw the creature for two or three seconds as it cleared the width of the new road

in two bounding leaps. So white men were better with pronouns back then, it seems. It ran upright like a man swinging its long hairy arms like a man. This just could have been an Italian fella. Right. Now the podcast is can't. Dave, I'm checking the numbers. I'm just a silly numbers have just plummeted. Oh, that's good. Down a lot in Sicily.

That's because it's day to time. Oh, no. James, help down a lot in Sicily. That's because it's Dana-Dame. Oh, no. It's James. Help me. No, I'm sorry. It all happened so fast. It's hard to give a really close description, but it was all covered with hate and didn't have any clothing of any description.

Oh, a hairy giant nudist on dress and humboldt. I've played clubs up there. This is an audience member. Yeah, that's a savage. I'm right. Yeah. These are the people. What asked how tall the beast was?

When reached for crowd work, the man said, move on. So where are you two from? Oh, the trees. OK. Hmm. Curric exclaimed, it looked eight or 10 feet tall to me. Oh, the trees. Okay. Curric exclaimed, it looked eight or 10 feet tall to me. The eyewitness doesn't think it was human, but also doesn't believe it was a bear or any other animal he has ever seen.

I was raised in the brush, but I've never seen anything alike it. Interesting. Well, he was raised in the brush. I can't say anything. I was raised in a house with people Groups that would be a great thing to say group temperature Dave Believe in Sasquatch or not

No James No, but my girlfriend the first time I visited my girlfriend's mother the first time I met her in Chicago Nadia left and it within like 30 seconds her mother went to the closet and brought out her bigfoot drawings of what she saw one day, which was amazing. That's pretty big. And it looks just like this guy. Did she did she draw it herself? Yes, that's what she said she saw. She grew up, she lived in the woods of

she said she saw she grew up she lived in the woods of like Minnesota or Wisconsin for a while. The brush. She's brush people, not his part brush. So she can't say it. I don't believe in it. I think. What's his name? Oh my god, the the director. He you know, he like, did a fake, they did, they did that fake. But you know, the famous fake video, big foot, like he had a buddy. Harrison Gammler. They, they admitted it at one point and then, you know, and then they stopped like for some reason. But that, yeah, they came out where like, yeah, we made that. Yeah.

Oh, it kind of looks like a man. Why is that? Oh, it's a man. Yeah, oh it kind of looks like a man. Why is that? Oh, it's a man. Looks like a hairy building to me. I'm a smog. Looks like a thing or an it. Um, oh, and here's a smaller story. Del Norte Sheriff will investigate as soon as possible. Sheriff Novgard of Del Norte said he expects to go into the area to investigate the prints from the standpoint of perhaps helping determine what they are. He got a prince out there.

You're making a secret. We are looking. We didn't fight the British to have a bunch of bigfoot swandering around. You got a killer. Marrow kill him abroad. That all works. I don't know. Kill him.

Okay. So he said no law has been broke, but he's gonna check it out. Well, we did we did. Well nudity. We've seen this in movies where it's like there's nothing in the room book that says that a saysquatch can't walk across a highway. We have a broken egg in laws because we haven't catered any laws to the Yeti. Oh yeah, her mom saw him on a highway too. Why do they love highways? They have all woods. Legal, legal president, Sasquatch may not cross highways. Okay, that's fair.

Okay, we're on to more important stuff now. To you. This is a little column called Thinking It Over by RL, by RL Deepen Bakker. Sure. No, I don't wanna know what he's thinking over. called thinking it over by RL, by RL Deepen Bakker. Oh no, I don't want to know what he's thinking over. Plastic scissors in the hands of children are much safer than metal scissors with clean edges.

This is, listen, probably right. This guy's right. I don't think it belongs in the paper, but this guy's right. Children can cut paper and learn to use these important instruments without danger to themselves and others. Imagine a week prior he's like in a school and sees a child just running with scissors and trips and impales their eye and passes away.

So he's like, we can solve this. I'm no scientist, but there's got to be a better way Sharp scissors can be dangerous weapons when they are used indiscriminately, okay? Amazing that this game has come to a conclusion that is the sharper the thing the more dangerous But yes if you use scissors indiscriminately, they're incredibly dangerous. That's what I'm saying Next week fire. The closer you hit the fire, the hotter it becomes. Hear me out. Oh, this takes a turn. Cook food. It also burned your children alive. Thanks for listening. There are varying, I'll leave it a second. There are very

dangerous things Our tongues are very much like scissors. Okay. Hello I've taken a turn haven't I? And now some shit that I really wanted to get to and that's stuff I thought it's She's like scissors By sounds sister Tom scissors are very sharp. I'm planning on killing my neighbor Sizzards, I mean my scissors. I'm gonna kill my scissors My neighbor our

Our tongues are very much like scissors. They can cut into the heart and feelings of people if they are used when we are angry. Tongues can be very destructive if they are used indiscriminately and if they are not controlled. We must study to use our tongues constructively rather than destructively. And that is why I am going to remove the tongues of the children and replace them with plastic tongues

Everyone go Hey, or I'll listen we got you Thought that I could take the two ideas I had I feel like I can take the two ideas I had and make them one. The one thing that middle scissors can be quite sharp and plastic ones would be better for children. Sure, no problem. The other one being that saying things can hurt. Okay, so what we were thinking is that they aren't related and maybe the person stuff

is getting involved in your follow. You see the shot. Scissors are much like a tongue of an insultor. Okay. Not really. Well, like a tongue of an insultor. Okay, not really. Well, a lot of ways it is. Maybe one other way, maybe one other way. You can cut through with each.

That was your number. That was your first one. You can notice that they're the same. You know, I am the editor of Dom People Weekly. Yes, it's true. I love you. I saw a big foot. Oh, okay. Top story.

I killed it with scissors. Okay, big weekend at Big Foot is like a pair of scissors. Here we go again. No, that's good. No, that's not good. Writing that one down. That's perfect for No, that's not good. Writing that one down. That's perfect for an RL. And Dave, we're brought to you by Airbnb.

I love staying at Airbnb's. My buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. Maybe you've stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work so you could Airbnb it makes some extra money on the side. Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun,

your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnbbnb.ca slash host. This is an interesting, uh, red official speculate on how reds counted atomic tests. It, you know, it's never good when the fishers were speculating in the old paper, especially what it's about communism. Yeah. It's also what's so great about our history is that when the people say reds, you're like, well, how are they insulting a group here? It's hard to tell exactly.

Could go a number of ways. Puzzled American officials were concerned today over how the Russians found out almost exactly how many nuclear tests this country touched off in the Pacific last spring and summer. Well, I mean, guys, just put I'm just putting out there. It's a giant nuclear explosion. It's sort of like they've been noticing these enormous clouds of radiation.

I think they got someone working on the inside. The reds have started noticing the time of day, the sun sets. How did they get to the bottom of it? Yeah, got a guy living in the clouds, we think. We must be the first to the clouds. Yeah. One official suggested that Russian submarines might have snooped on the tests. He also said the Soviets may have planted spies at the scene and picked up information from leaks in the security system. Also, it's a giant mushroom cloud explosion. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The fourth possibility is that the Russians merely read a speech by a US congressman. Oh my god. Oh my god. They're insidious minds. How do they do that? God damn ruses.

That congressman's speech, he was like, I think that went pretty good. Well, it was a bit problematic when you mentioned the 28 new questions. Why? He gave the exact number. Yeah, and the exact locations. I was really, I was hitting my stride out there, huh? Yeah, we didn't want to interrupt you. It looked like you were having so much fun.

Oh, I was having a hell of a time. I was having a hell of a time. But you lost the war. You did lose the war. The Atomic Energy Commission confirmed the first blast had taken place April 28th, only after a member of Congress, representative Charles Porter of Oregon announced it in a house speech. Right before the speech, she looked in the mirror and said to AIDS, it's Porter time. In that same speech, Porter said the AEC plan to detonate 30 in all at Inua, Inua talk,

I can't read it. After the test, I've been concluded the Russians put the total at 32. So in other words, the Russians did the math from the guy's speech. And the paper is like, how did they figure it out? They might have spies. It could have been a submarine, or when that idiot Porter said everything. He also gave the speech, he also gave out the combination to us safe where his guns are. 1922, what are you doing? Stop it. Been one full rotation in between.

What else? My penis trips a long time after I go pee. How was that either country? Too much information. TMI is a bit of a cold fish when it comes to the sack, but we've been working on it. And as long as I pretend to be her high school boyfriend and I'm coming home from a long day of legal work, she will bang me.

A lot of time. You're on the court. Coming out of my dog's ass full. He's so I have to take a stick to knock it out a little bit. I would like to declare my the president. Longers. I would like to leave. I would like to leave the party.

The president. Yeah, I don't want to be here. The president's looking to kill a bunch of his enemies. Okay. I'm back. I can chew my own toenails and I do. For you, the taxpayer. Strain my ass.

And that's why those savings are being given to the citizens of Oregon. Do you understand anything? I don't think that I'm just trying to... Did you black out? Bigfoot? Did you black out? You told us about a poop stick.

Who told you about poop stick? We were listening! Yeah, we did the poop stick then. You think the roo- I think the roo- It's a record! I think the roo- He's a guy in my house and he found my poop stick

That's a stenographer right there. That's Amy. Yeah, you know her red right amongst us. Oh my god Now everyone's gonna know that when my dog poop sometimes it doesn't fully come out Sometimes when it gets excited my wife and I say it's making lipstick. Oh, please stop talking. I will, I'll give the rest of my time back. I don't. Please. Thank you.

No one worked any time anymore. We've got plenty of tears with each other the right way. We're thinking about shutting down Congress permanently after I yield my life back. Oh, he's dead. I yield my life back. He's dead. It's the final speech. Corner dead. Well, there's nothing left to say. I yield my life back.

This headline is just nice work. It's a you you You can say it sounds almost sarcastic. Yeah, we'll say it's work. That's a UPI story at a Georgia. Gene Cochran was assigned by a firm that makes fish lures to fish all summer and learn what fish think of the product. He stopped by his office in a while to collect his pay. Nice work. So what the fuck is happening? What is that?

The story as a man was meant to figure out what fish liked with the world's story, impossible task. And he did this work and got paid. So job description. It would be great if the paycheck, like when he like grabbed it, it just like put a hook through his hand and he was yanked out of the building.

Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, I know what men like. Money. Yeah, yeah, exactly. I think they're just saying he's got a good job. Yeah. Right? He gets to fish. And they're like saying he's got a good job. Yeah

Right he gets to fish and they're like he gets paid for this I want to call it a nice work nice work story. Okay. It's just like these are nice jobs. Yeah Yeah, imagine um that existing Oh, this is a print measure. That's a nice job. This is from Bloomington, Lanoi. I don't eat a great mistake. Al Jackson called the fire department when a fire broke out in his car, but the smoke eaters found the fire. What? What? That's his. I mean, Bigfoot's one thing but smoky-dors now. What is this lost? Hello? I mean, maybe it's just something else. It's just smudge, but it looks like smoky-dors. Well, I'm going with smoky-dors I'm listening to that amazing if that's what fireman wore

But the smoky-dors carny workers that they Don't have water hoses the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, the smokers, had put it out with a bottle of steak sauce. Okay. They do say this is a mad lib. Everything is a mad lib.

Uh, I did you smoke eaters is a way to refer to firefighters. Is it really? Yeah. Okay. All right. Now wait, what did you say about the right Dennis Larry?

Sorry, I didn't know that he put out the fire with the stick sauce What's that what's that a euphemism for you're a That's fireman piss Fireman's piss brown sticks Available it's second crepes. That's our slogan. One bad idea after another. The restaurant's second crepes. It's not what you want.

These are all under the bigger headline. Chuckles in the news. I wish this segment. Oh, it's about now. This is about a killer clown. I remember this story. This is also an old title for USA Today. Memphis, Tennessee, six week old George Green III got a burping the hard way.

That's never not in the 50s. We yaked it out of his ass. As his mother hoisted him up to her shoulder, he went right on over and landed unhurt, but thoroughly burped on the rug behind her. Watch her through her kid on the floor. Yeah. How is the burp? Who tells people that you know, this is a funny funny story Hey, by the way, I threw my baby. I threw my baby over my shoulder. She was trying to burp him asshole. It's funny Yeah, do you know what's her close? Good luck. Why did that with a baby? You don't tell people that you threw your baby on the floor. No, but heard the new this is the new burping technique

They're doing it overseas. You haven't heard this well well he got burp oh man we sure stop grumbling he has brain damage but I'll never burp again plus crop a snow stores Connecticut the University of Connecticut reports receiving an urgent request for rabbits from a hunter from a farmer in Honduras. We need rabbits. We got, we got big old rabbit shorts down in Honduras. More urgency, plate, more urgency. We need rabbits.

We need a rabbit. You know, I'm dead. I can see the rabbit winks. Now make it personal, make it personal. I work. We need a rabbit. You know what I'm dead. I get seen a rabbit weeks. Now make it personal. Make it personal. And my dad was a big rabbit man and I wouldn't have rabbits. What did he want?

He was a big rabbit man. Yeah, he was the Easter Bunny. I was raised by Easter Bunny's. My dad was a big rabbit man is a mom Every every year on Eastern we'd have to search for our brothers and sisters in the eggs. They laid I believe you turn into a western tradition So why do they need rabbits? The rabbit's legs.

No. No. They do. That's why you're so forever Easter. You're a bad farmer. I'm a great farmer. You never had a hair omelet. Waiter, there's a hair omelet.

Eh, well, that's already a punchline. I don't need to be in this. Okay. Okay, I figured this one out. The headlight is surplus crop. The headlight is surplus crop. The University of Connecticut reports receiving an urgent request for rabbits from a farmer in Honduras who raised 1000 heads of lettuce

with the aid of the U.S. Agricultural Agent. The farmer needs the rabbits because none of his neighbors will eat the lettuce? The neighbors? Yeah, asking too many questions. Just eat the lettuce. Just eat the lettuce. Just send us rap. Nothing. Nothing. Send rabbits. Send rabbits. Eat the lettuce. Yeah, I don't need all the questions. You don't want the rabbits? You don't want the rabbits. Eat the lettuce. Yeah. You know, I don't always listen to that. Yeah, I don't need a fucking musician about the fucking rabbit. Yeah, it's sure there's a lot of lettuce. We got too much. Did you read the story?

We got a lot of lettuce. Yeah, it was called chuckles in the news and it feels very intense right now. Well, there's different kinds of humor. Well, maybe, maybe you made it awkward by questioning our lettuce. Yeah, you ever heard of Andrew Dice? I see one head of it. One head. It's never enough one head. Look. I feel like that's... Look. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Who's gonna lie? Who lies about lettuce, a psychopath? Yeah, this one's safe. Can I just see some of it? You're gonna send the rabbits. Because we know where you live.

Why would your neighbors not eat it? Don't... Why are you asking about our neighbors, man? You brought him up! Send... Well, they have like? You brought him up. Send. Well they have like a real privacy. Okay, all right. I'll get him there soon.

I'm going to send it hair mail. We'll be right back. Why, I oughta. Uh, new ejection. James is dead. New ejection seat. Protested for jet pilots. Oh wow. That That's going to kill goose in the future. Dave wouldn't understand. He's never seen. I've never seen. I'll never be able to wrap his hand around that hint.

Goose dies. Goose dies when he's trying to eject. What? Not a euphemism. How about fucking spoils you? I was going to see it when I came out of the feeders and was on, uh... You know, TV. You had a chance. It's been on TV for sure. I don't think so. It's still playing with the Chinese. At the Chinese?

Yeah, the Chinese. Please say yes, okay. No, just at the Chinese. I don't think you're allowed to say what ever you say The Navy today plans to unveil what it hoped is a solution to end fatalities that occur when pilots eject themselves No, not no war out the dudes What no the pictures at no war It's a way for them to jump out of a plane that's moving real fast. Safely, and we never pitching no war leave the room. You're not allowed in the idea of sweet anymore. A rocket assisted ejection seat that can catapult

the pilot 200 and 25 feet into the air above his aircraft has undergone successful static tests at the Naval Ordinance Testation using a dummy. Yeah. Hey, what do you guys mean? I might be able to be a pilot if I go just inside of that thing. Yeah, sure. I was drinking, I didn't do the math in the scam, but that sort of seemed like it might be tricky.

A candy bar. All right, I guess I will be in the town of it. I like chocolate with that peanuts, too, but don't get. We were gonna give them two candy bars idiot. So it's called the rocket assisted personnel. I'm gonna do it for no candy bar, come on. Rocket assisted personnel ejection catapult or the rape. Oh, what? Jokey.

And that's the end of the past times for this episode. Everybody. The new scene is expected to be installed in the Navy's attack bomber next year. A team of civilians under the direction of Norman Rump developed and tested a Raypeck here for the Navy's Bureau of Ordinance. They scan detailed records of vitalities that happen with jets flamed out at low altitudes, either while later you're taking off. 80% of low level bailouts resulted in fatalities or in disabling. 80%? Yeah, that's right pretty bad. No, I need to get on

that. 70% we're fine with. I got an idea. Yeah, yeah, shooting seats. They just shoot yeah, shoot you right out like a much like a gun shoots a bullet. We're going to shoot the pilot right out of the number. Well, the numbers say there can't be anything less safe than what we're doing now. So

we're going to go with that. Now, if the plane is upside down because it's spinning out, he could just shoot into the ground, but we're not going to worry about that. Oh, a human spike situation. Yeah. We've, yes, we've factored factor that in still safer than what we were doing before. And humans spikes, you must be talking about the delightful volleyball montage in top gun. I was. Goose was in that before he died.

It's on AMC right now. I just checked. Well, I don't think it's anything inside of the theaters yet. Okay. I was joking, but fatalities are blamed on the fact that current gun type ejection systems barely lift the pilot out of the aircraft. Well, it's still safer than our old way,

which was 90% lethal, where you just drop a little rope ladder out while you're in the... Yeah! Where they pray. Ah! So the starting one was like, well, we just need them to get a little bit above the plane Yeah, it's all fine and Dave we're brought to you by Airbnb

I love staying at Airbnb's my buddies and I get together twice a year and always find some amazing spots via Airbnb Maybe you've stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. It could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You might have set up a home office and now you're back at work, so you could Airbnb it, makes some extra money on the side.

Whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how at Airbnb.ca-host. Prices will be awarded during Ford Showing. During the showing of the 1959 Ford's on Friday, the Harvey Harper Company will give prizes to people visiting the sixth and B showroom. Plus, special birthday gifts to those

having birthdays the same day as the 1959 Ford, which is October 17th. We just passed it. There will be gifts for children accompanied by adults plus other attractions, including a 1929 Ford. The talking, the talking 1959 Ford, there was a talking car. It's a talking car that's going to describe its own features. Hello Henry. Hi. Hello. Hey.

Make me a woman. Wait, this, so you're supposed to just describe what you are as a car. I love it. That's okay. I totally get it. But for right cylinders leading to parts that are lubed up and looking to be finished. Finished? Yes. I'm sorry. I'm distracted. I need you to just talk about car parts that aren't. We should, we shouldn't. Well, we're not going to. We will.

We won't. There's sending mixed messages. Ah. What are you doing? Starting? Is this gonna happen every time Let me reef install is that you By the way, that's such a boring article all All right. We're gonna go look car the car

Yeah, and you know it's just a guy behind with a like behind a speaker next to the car Don't touch my hood come on Hey car It's basically just an ad. I mean someone's gotta let me take a piss you guys said I could piss every 45 minutes. I haven't pissed it over an hour and a half. I can't believe the Ford company has that much power to just run hats and call it news. I will leave. Yeah. Oh, shit. This sounds fun. School carnival at Fresh Water Saturday night. The Fresh Water Cue in the 8th. That's my favorite old 70 songs. That's my favorite old 70 songs. Freshwater, fresh water, fresh, fresh water community.

Side-net carnival. Yeah. What's that? CCR. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The fresh water community will join in the annual school carnival at the schoolhouse side in evening on October 18th. The fresh water. One of the participating groups is the WeCocah Campfire Girls. They will operate in the old store. They should everywhere. They're, they're Fred Shitters.

WeCocah. Have you seen Fred since then, sir? So what do you girls do? You're the Weika cause? Yeah. We live a fire. Then we should have the fire out. A week. So they're going to, um, they're going to operate at old country store,

booth and they're going to wear old fashioned costumes. The country star will feature everything from butter churns to horse halters, pumpkins for jackal lanterns, and a galley decorated gingerbread, man. This literally sounds... I'll probably just drop an iPhone that works and you'll get all that too. There you go. Like the apes in 2001, yeah, just...

Ooh, ooh, yeah. This literally sounds like the festival in my hometown that I went to growing up. I'm not kidding. It does sound pretty bad. Oh, God. The girls have been busy making aprons and potholers and have even created Mr. Bigfoot dolls

to sell to the skeptical. Yeah, what the fuck are you going? What's going on? Was this bigfoot? To me, those look like regular size bigfoot. How big is this pothold holder? I'm a pot size fella Other boats are the kind of will include fish ponds cakewalks apron Hey, what's a game. Oh, oh

We had cakewalks you walk around in the circle on like no little numbers and then the music stops and they call out and out Yeah, it's like a cakewalk. Did we just add a Castello? I think so yeah. Yeah we had those at the Black Patch festival. Yeah, we had those at the black patch festival. Yeah, right. It was about tobacco, which is where are you from? Just also racist. Oh, Kentucky.

That's what I thought. Oh, terrible. Yeah, that's bad. What? Here's another headline. House shoots youth. Yikes. It's not a story out of Tennessee. a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.

It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.

It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.

It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. It's a good thing. got shooting houses with the help. Phil Greer 19 was shot by a house Tuesday. I'm sorry, I can't believe that. Okay. Do you need more information?

Please. Yeah. As soon as the house, the house was on fire. Flames caused a bullet to explode in a piece of the casing struck rear in the shoulder. So this is when the paper's point to give you like an intriguing headline. It was like rid of the fire shot the house. I mean the fire shot the boy. The house shot the bullet. Jesus Christ. This is like how they despair in computing now. Yeah, right. This is exactly a scribe of cops shooting now. Exactly. Yeah, this is originally what they said happened to be on a tailor.

Thanks again, conductor. Nevada students will come here to study Bigfoot. Wow, this paper was happening. And really they were like, so they did, so this is what happens in a lot of papers where they, they kind of go to other cities for important news, but this paper was like, we'll keep you on the Eureka clock. Don't you worry about that. Bigfoot still for happening. I had, did anything news where they happened this year? Yeah, big foot walked across three

weeks. Oh, big foot won the cakewalk. Put it in the paper. Anthropology students from the University of Nevada at Reno are forming a small expedition to explore the mystery of the gigantic footprints, which have been discovered in the bluff creek area. Again, being from the south, it's never good when they form a small group to go into the woods and investigate things. They want to meet him and now they're going to kill him.

Yeah. We don't take any of your hairy kind around here. There's nothing in the rule book that says that a Sasquatch can't be eaten by Spitfire. I'm suggesting we Spitfire Bigfoot. I heard Bigfoot was shot by a house. That's right. Almost stabbed by a pair of scissors, but thankfully we got the pie from the house. I'm going to big foot. Oh

That's the story You capture big foot and shave him Don't be fucking in the first thing you do And he just looks like a scared dog who had a bad holding. He's just like, wow, his eyes are pretty so good in over there. Shave Bigfoot melts the heart of local area. Hey fellas, is your Bigfoot crying? Yeah, well, apparently a lot of that hair kept that tears coming out. Unfortunately, the first thing we did when we got him was we took one picture that we shaved the set of a bitch

I'll teach you from cover right here with a big goddamn feet. It looks like a weird pink man. I think we made it British We locked him in the basement and showed him red scare propaganda for hours. He don't cry no more And we locked him in the basement and showed him red scare propaganda for hours. He don't cry no more. Arm him like the house. He's so wrinkly like a big man who lost a bunch of weight. The okay, they're calling it okay. Oh, wait. So managing it or the territorial enterprise in Virginia City, Nevada, tagged Bigfoot as a

possible relative of the fabled Washoe giant. Whoa. The Washoe giant is a creature of superstition and legend believed by the Indians of the Pyramid Lake Reservation in Nevada. To have left there for Northern California several generations ago. So Bigfoot was there and he headed out. Richard said he wasn't forced out on a trail of tears or anything. No, no, he didn't get shaved and sent out a town. He left on his own. We didn't shave the Bigfoot and he left on, he didn't want to be here. We didn't shoot him withfoot and he left he left on he didn't he didn't want to be here

We didn't shoot him with houses and take his hair off relax everybody This is the best movie I've ever heard So there was a book a little Riley right killing bigfoot the wall of giant in San Francisco is a Mark Twain book Oh really? Oh shit really something like that. Yeah, wow They said he was over nine feet tall. Oh shit Richard said anthropologist anthropologists is that's no, I was looking up you with it's supposed to be Yeah, it must be anthropologists Anthropologists at the University of Nevada have circulated that assuming normal symmetry

a human being with a 10 inch foot and a four foot stride would be between eight and a half like a mule. That's why we're shaving it. We want to see the real dog proportion. Camera man, don't cut that big noodle, boys. That's the headline. the the the data measurements on big-foot correspond closely with indian descriptions of the wash how giant

well we're finally listening to them which is nice uh... yeah it's good there. There's some science going on. Yeah, yeah, humble, humble men vie for beards. Men on the humbled state camp, college campus have ceased to shave as they prepare for the annual Sadie Hawkins dance and beard contest set for the middle of November. Okay, big foot apologists. Yep. Yeah. So they were doing November back then.

Colleges yep, yeah, so they were doing November back then Yeah, beards will be judged at the dance with prizes for the longest best looking and Most feeble attempt at raising a growth of whiskers You want the biggest pussy you were Strip him naked make them do the cake walk You won least testosterone This is just a big-foot-shaved everywhere but his face So strange

That's so easy. This is that this is at a Des Moines, Iowa. A bandit walked into a local bakery, pulled a gun, and ran off with two sweet rolls. Man. That's what I, I like the sweet roll. What is, what are the proportion here? That sounds like a roll. I don't know what it is. It's size of a roll.

That's just a roll, it's a roll. It's robbery of all time. That's what I'm saying. I like, I like this level of sustainability. You know, he took two rolls. Yeah, don't steal more than you can eat. It's no big deal. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'll be back tomorrow. I mean, nothing. Oops. They call me this thrifty sweet roll bandit. Yeah. This is out of Poland, Warsaw Poland. Prease jailed in school fight. Oh boy.

For masturbating. Two Roman Catholic priests have been given short jail terms for resisting removal of crucifixes from village schools. Okay. It's fun and crazy that that sounds like it could happen today. Yeah, except with a worse outcome. Oh, yeah. We're going to throw them in jail. What did they do? I took down father. Teduce pad, pad cava of the village of my chau in Central Poland was sentenced to three months in jail for inciting Roman Catholics to resist the removal of classroom crosses.

Father Joseph Wojczyk of Os-Azaro, a village in the same region, was sentenced to one month for similar offense. Non-compulsory religious classes are held in post schools under terms of the church. State agreement of 1956, but the communist government contends the Roman Catholics are pushing religious freedom too far by having crucifixes placed in schools. What if you don't have the thing that the guy died on in the classroom? I'm just putting it out there. What if the guy isn't on a little, what if in the corner of a classroom,

there isn't a guy like being hungered or killed? No, I need to be aware. A little statue of that. I need to remind it of that bloody day on Gavgotha when I'm doing my math papers. I have a pretty focus on our studies. Fucking idiots. Yeah, it's insane.

It really is just bonkers. God damn it. You can't have it everywhere. I don't even know how to play. We get it. We get it. We get it. Right now I take it all back.

We get it. We get it. I think we understand. We get it. We get it. I think we understand. We get it. We get it. I think we can all agree in this time and place in this the year of our Lord 2023 that religion is not causing issues.

Not many. That's fair. At least not in America where the mayor of New York says God appointed him. What? I mean, if you, they should do a poll of how many politicians in America think that God picked them to be. They should do a poll. They should just ask and find out.

It would be what? 30% it would be higher. I mean, higher. I mean, higher. I think it's about 66.6. The devil's number. And players are on this, that he believed he was God. That's the only way Jenny could come. Yeah, no.

Parking privileges, Hartford Connecticut, fruit, peddler, Benny Alderman has no intention of trading in his horse and cart for a truck. Whoever heard of give it a parking ticket to a horse, he asked. I like this guy. This is the first guy I like of the show. This is, we have a hero. I mean, you have eight. You didn't like the short guy?

Again, this is 1958. I love this guy. Just being like, what are you there? A truck? I'm gonna park it chicken I'm putting money. Yeah, I'll be I'll be there in 10 days Trucks are a flash in the pan horse and buggy. That's gonna stick around me go We can't take it on horse. Yeah, where they gonna put the ticket? We can't take it on horse. Yeah.

Where they gonna put the ticket? By the way. They handed it to me, but I'm not the horse. Horse don't have a windshield. Case closed. Just standing there while the cop puts it under like under the stirrup. Well, I guess I didn't think about that. No, I'm kidding.

Stirrupless horse. That's the ticket. I mean, I'm kidding. Okay. Stir up this horse. That's the ticket. No, I mean, that's not the ticket. Not the ticket. What the ticket is is not, oh shit, I've done it again. My brain is pained. Cut to a shaved horse. Where are you going to put the ticket?

I'll stay one. I'll stay one step ahead of you, coppers. Look, there's not even a horse anymore They just handed it to me so I took my hands off Now what are you gonna my pocket these guys all right now? I'm naked now I've been jailed for being naked and with no hands, but they didn't put a ticket to me Did they was there was no ticket? I did a jail for five years lost my business have no hands But they didn't put a ticket to me. Did they boys?

I've been electric chair. I got no hands. My wife completely left me. I'm been shaved. I would hold on them in the middle of the summer. They didn't put a ticket on me. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead and check your anus.

Well, I met a fellow who'd stick shit shut. It's a night. It's a journey time. Oh, listen, let me finish. I got nowhere for them to put them. I got no hands. I got no hair. My mouth is just one little hole that is strong and barely get through.

But I can't crap a piss nothing. There's nowhere for them to put a ticket. There's nowhere for them to put a ticket. Hey, Jim. Don't what? You check your ear. Oh, son of a bitch. I valued hearing.

Son of a bitch. I shut my air holes. I got a need of pinhole in my mouth or I can speak to. I got no eyes, no hands, no legs, no but hole. And they can't stick a ticket told Jim and I can. Jim and I can't hear you or see you if you're raising your hand and saying my name. Therefore, I live in this ignorance forever.

Can you check your nose? Oh my god, my breath and area. Indeed, it's been ticketed. Oh yeah, when's on your loose thumb? By the way, it was just a $5.5. She made it like he loved, deeply. It was only a $5.5 kid. Marvel warning, really. Oh, he's sewn up every hole on his body.

And by the way, his tube stone was put in an illegal plot, so he's got a ticket for that. So we've got a ticket. A tombstone. Yeah, it's just a big ticket. We thought it'd be funny. Insured clothing. This is Ash Kago. Finally.

Montgomery Ward and company is offering a line of men's clothing, which will be insured for two years against lost by fire and theft with a guarantee of replacement. Wow, there was so much fire and bigfoot. Yeah, right. I would be like, I would wear it for two years. And then I'd be like, oh, there was a fire.

Yeah. Bigfoot started a fire. That's feasible. Yeah, that's in all the papers. Fire's in Bigfoot. That's all we get. I feel like they changed it. But have you ever talked to someone who worked at Costco

in the return anything? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, you could literally bring back something you had for 10 years in big. It didn't work anymore. And they had to because of their policy, they had to it. So people would just, I mean, most people have like a healthy sense of shame, so they wouldn't do it. But people are just bringing it back like, you can be right in the eyes. This jar of olives had a bunch of olives in it when I bought it. And they're all gone. I'm like my money back, please. Laser disk doesn't work anymore. So, one more day.

Yeah, okay. One more. Suggestion approved at a Tampa, Florida. So it's got to be good. It's Tampa, Florida. Not good. When peace justice Marion Henry suggested, suggested the whipping post as a means of curbing juvenile delinquency he received comment from all over the county most of it agreeing.

Oh my god. That tracks. That tracks. It's it. That's that tracks He bore city said we'll do you one better the whipping poses made a spikes City I don't know the whole town out of the whipping post. What about a state called whipping post? Oh, Florida. Oh, Florida. Well, there we go.

Another amazing, James, you were so great. I love you guys. Will you come back? No, out any time. Yes. If you said no, we would have edited it out anyway. Yeah. I take it a time when you said yes Dreamy episode and put it there okay good. Yeah, um fritz is dead on social media

You're a great follow you're an even better human We really appreciate it and You and I don't know if you saw it's $25 to do this podcast I have too much money. Good. I like to hear. All right, thank you, James. Thank you guys. Some of these days, you'll miss me honey.

Some of these days. you