The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 524 - Sam Patch

Episode Date: March 15, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine jumper Sam Patch Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch

You are listening to the dollop this is an American history podcaster each week I Dave Anthony with a dog read a story from American history to a guy named Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about and as a picture of a cat did you notice right when we started recording this particular dog got up and turned around yeah like he was like I'm so over this whatever it is I'm already done with it that's how I feel a lot of our listeners may feel the same I feel the same and I'm part of the I feel like sometimes they come back like the dog did just now the dogs now the dogs like all right I'll give it a shot and now begrudgingly that's one of my favorite things people will say people will go like I listen to

you guys before I go to bed and sometimes I pass out and then they'll be like I mean it's not you it's good I'm like it's fine that's okay whatever I fall asleep to me yeah hey why wouldn't you the sweet dull set tones of day sad sad sad sound so David and Gareth Reynolds oh I watched I watched a bar rescue with the lunatic John Taffer yesterday and he they were talking about the sacramental floods and he like we did this bar because of this woman who died in the basement which I thought was shut up yeah no no it's like he was like she's it's a haunted place so we're gonna make it her thing and he like made it about this woman who died which I always think is a fun way to do it to be like yeah she sacrificed her life so that you could turn your bar around this

lady died for a bar she died for a bar and called it quote is jam-packed okay now hit him with the puppy you both present sick arguments Gareth 1799 whoa year of our Lord Jesus Christ who died on that day I believe I don't know my Jesus history very well I'm pretty sure he died on I think he was I'm pretty sure he was a president he died people don't know this Jesus died in the first car accident and that's why he got so popular that's right yeah that's why they call it the Model T because that's what his arms and legs look like thank you Samuel Patch was born to Abigail and Mayo Greenleaf Patch now I'm saying Mayo it's probably said another way but if your name is spelled M. Y. M. A. Y. O. I'm calling you Mayo yeah I don't I can't honestly imagine another way

of saying I'm sure it's my oh it's good I'm sure it's my oh but oh like I don't know why would you not say Mayo yeah it's mail absolutely and who we talked about this is Sam Patch's father Mayo Greenleaf Patch oh his first his dad's first name was Mayo that's correct oh so yeah he was probably a big Mayo guy back then I would imagine they had so much mayonnaise back then it was like the number one food have you tried this delicious condiment ketchup could suck our dicks that's that's actually that was the first name of mayonnaise ketchup suck our dicks yeah so Sam's dad was a tenant farmer and a shoemaker and a raging alcoholic wow that's a lot of when you put those three together you get some very very bad shoes yeah for sure his mother was a very stern

Calvinist and in 1807 they moved to Pawtucket Rhode Island and they the Slater Mill was there and the Slater Mill was a gigantic mill that's right this is a place where we designed the shed the other the mill stuff this is it it's going on only mill stuff I'm not gonna be in this mill for too long doesn't Slater just sound exactly like Nicholson but a younger one that's offensive okay greetings salutations the Slater Mill was America's first water-powered textile mill using the Blackstone River for power so huge machines spinning cotton in a yarn which is used in mass textile production sure I don't have to tell you that but no no no but for the listeners it's probably important for the uninformed yes so workers are working

long days in either freezing weather or sweltering hot weather clanging machines were said to be so loud it was maddening lung and heart disease from particulate inhalation very very common so it's just a great work perfect how's everybody's lungs feeling it's thick actually how are your hearts slow good luck with all that okay why did you come here you we usually when somebody asks a question then they have and you they don't hear a good answer then they go oh I can maybe do something about that or sounds pretty good okay like I feel like I'm holding up my end of the salutations again I don't this is my mill okay I guess I'm just gonna work until I die which I laugh 30 yes that's correct thank you Sam's father abandoned

the family and oh no wait I want to go sorry I jumped ahead well spoiler I I'm not gonna get too attached to Papa yeah don't so this later mill employed entire families including kids okay and and and so they're making textiles but they're using it it's they're using it like with water it's water powered you said yeah they use the water to power okay right okay all right so fun for the kids it's like a water park it's all great yeah so Sam Slater also housed the families and made them shop at a company store so he gets the whole family working on it's one of these puts them up yeah it's like what they did with mines and what they will do with Amazon and what they're doing Amazon right now moment did that right yeah

right boy Pullman older workers were known as mule spinners and they manned and the complicated machines okay and then children went into like these spider webs of threads between belts and machines to like replace bobbins and repair threads so they're like in the mix six days a week kids are just like so they just use the tiny children to like go into the places where they can't to fix things yeah right okay and and like like I'm sure that there was no death like resulting from that anyway I get it never never no kids like a strangle they're scared in there no good lord no come on it's America so my four-year-old's freaking out in there well we got to start the machines up yeah fire him up get him going well we lose

we'll lose six minutes look you're supposed to lose five kids anyway you have to lose a day six six like kids really enjoy six days a week five a.m. to seven thirty p.m. just a classic kids day great yeah most kids hate working in the gloomy factory then the dangerous mill some are just run away and they're gone I'm with those kids now Sam's father as you heard earlier abandoned the family and eventually he ends up in prison for counterfeiting so he gets his just end I try to hand him shoes for money sure but they recognize pretty quickly and it was not a ten dollar bill Sam is working seven hour at seven years old he starts to work at the the fact as you should absolutely 14 half hour day doesn't leave a lot of time

for fun God Almighty that is so crazy and so close to where we'll be again yeah and so they've they found two things that they really enjoyed the kids the kids not working and getting shit based on whiskey oh my god at on his at seven well they're already working for ten hour days so just cut to it I mean but it's just like it's so early yeah but you're you're already doing all the other adult stuff circuit and chip face and smoke and cigars and ah they're smoking they're drinking whiskey and smoking they're seven year olds man I'll tell you as God your life ain't for the week I'll tell you that son how old are you I'm six and hammered oh my god well you get to be my age yeah you're

half way through your life you're eight huh I'm seven and three quarters actually I have so I'm so drained man she's just such fucking bullshit I'm ready to be taken off of this planet just fucking you know just shoot me out you know you should hear my wife she doesn't get it my wife has no she has no clue she's just like babe why are you so tired you're not sexual anymore I'm like well first I'm six yeah I'm exhausted these are 14 hour meal days yeah so are we playing tag or what is this no no we're drinking whiskey here have another shoot oh shit yeah okay here we go cheers cheers to you buddy to the ghosts of childhood god damn my feet just hurt all the time oh you got to do what I do cut off the

bottoms okay have another shooter now we're talking some good stuff I'll tell you never tell you the story about when I um was five which one um there's pretty much just one when I worked in the factory but I remember one day I was I thought to myself maybe there's more to life how fucking funny is that I have no shooter I have no shooter yeah oh shit I go dick I'll see nine tell you sound like the old ball and chain my wife she's an old hag she's hate yeah you should hear her she thinks she knows so much eight years old just because she made it that far yeah I'm a winner oh I hear you I hear you that's tough that's tough yeah I lost her to the yarn no no yeah a lot of fine ones go to the yarn web I didn't

push her relax relax relax Chadwick have another shooter our little body so ruin I mean we could literally just do that all day so right they like to get drunk and the other thing they like to do is jump off a bridge into the river okay then I see that I would imagine would be like the thing I would be like that because because to some extent you're like yeah for sure like the child that is probably being sucked out of them but that I would imagine would be more like that shit like jumping into rivers yeah you know like playing games or like still doing stuff but to find whiskey to have whiskey introduced and to have it stick at that age is a little crazy I think it's great the bridge is 50 it's a 50 foot

fall so it's a big that's a big draw I mean good luck finding a kid now who would jump 50 feet well I mean when you're drunk when you're drunk when you're drunk you're drunk these aren't regular kids these are drunk kids they also had a jump they had a clear rocks when they jumped off the bridge I imagine some of them didn't make it but Sam could do it easily and he was super into it and for a bigger challenge he climbed up on a six story mill on a bluff and he jumped and that was almost 100 feet okay so we're planning the seeds of this kid's a jumper this guy drunk and drunk like who else does what other kid does that they're plowed if they do that yeah well I mean there's not a lot of opportunity

for drunk children to jump but yes I agree so okay so he's he's the best at jump jumping yes and yeah he keeps doing it people start coming to watch him crowds you gotta see this shit can't kid who they make work slave slave labor jump into the river you gotta see hey does any anyone ever think that we should just maybe like change the laws or something it seems like no no no that's not what we're here to do watch this kid jump is a hundred feet up watch him jump into this river did I mention that these kids who work all those long hours are drunk you gotta see this kid jump that's actually more fun because if they're sober they're they're more cautious so this way they're able to have what we call inhibitions

but they're able to get these kids to drink them out of that they've either had a beaten or drank out of them that's right look at this kid go this is unbelievable man you ever read that book moral principles nope me neither so he's he's okay he's getting a little popular in the area so he becomes a showman doing this he starts milking the crowds anticipation after he would jump in the water sometimes he would stand under as long as he could so people like oh my god the child that we were here on the day he died this was a good day to be a no one jump in and he keeps jumping all the way through adulthood and when he's an adult he's working as a mule spinner by the way it gets I mean if I'm like going to

see the show it's getting a little less like I mean like I mean he's like 30 now yeah he's he's yeah he's an older guy now who wants to see me do it again yeah it's just it's weird now come on he's like I said he moved up now the women in the mill are paid less because wow wow that'll shift yeah that'll totally change in the next couple hundred years yeah then in 1824 Slater decided to increase the work day by an hour and cut the wages for 25% of women between 15 and 30 so if you're a woman sorry 30 so the young the children workers get the same amount and the old lady well old lady over 30 workers the same about but the prime ones I assume the the most of the workforce between 15 30 are

getting an extra hour and their wages cut 25% that's cool and that's just women or that's everyone it's just women that's just women that's that I mean they have a different job he seems like a really cool mill owner you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah yeah wait you know it's because women only barely exist and most mill owners you can describe as cool yeah I would imagine that so you're just working kids to the bone and then women you're like my I got some bad news ladies so you're gonna have to work an extra hour and because it's such a pain in my ass to schedule I'm cutting your wage well he said they were earning quote extravagant wages so they needed to be well obviously I mean they're still in the mill

you know what I mean so they're yeah you're what I like to call millionaires okay see y'all later to the lady do so America's first organized labor strike was now on what what's up there but I haven't heard it yet what is what are they mad about I don't know what they're mad about what do they do and they have a river jumping they're getting drunk on whiskey they got 15 I'm in a house what's the problem it seems pretty good other workers join the women on their strike including Sam so the women start the strike yeah and everyone else is like yeah we're with you right children lead the walkout it spreads to other mills now workers all over the area surrounding factories looting equipment and even marching

to owners homes insulting them and breaking their windows there we go I like that order to yeah start warm them up with the Amuse bush you guys are pricks and I'd start smashing the windows that's right I just still can't believe like that's not happening here yet it's just shocking everyone's just gonna keep going until they lay down okay so a local judge said the streets were quote literally filled with men women and children making a mob a very daring aspect insulting the managers of cut mills in every shape pulling and hauling screaming and shouting through the streets good for his part Sam got drunk and set up a jump to entertain his fellow workers that I mean that feels like maybe not like solidarity

in some way yeah you know solidarity it's a little entertainment well they're probably all just like we're gonna go let's let's show him like I don't know I'll do a jump what are you guys sick about that hey hey Dan you get him get a get at the March moving okay it's them going down there okay we've been working out for six years my name's Jeff okay Dan I need you to listen to me and listen to me close yeah you get get the March moving and then when the time is right you know what I'm gonna do hit him with a drum a drum yeah I'll jump real high and I'll land and then everyone will be like oh my snippity snap was that Sam and I'll come out and be like you can't do this to us we're pissed off we need better

wages and by the way you women working one hour more for less wages that's bullshit and right when they're going for a real grumble grumble I'm not sure about that I hit him with another jump no yeah with one it's fine it doesn't do anything Dan Dan it's Jeff Dangers listen to me did you call me Dan juice Dan juice that's not talking to my drink okay we're done I'm done talking to you buddy I'm telling you I know how to help with all this you smash their windows you talk some shit I'll go jump okay bye man jump jump the strike was settled in a month but the troublemakers were fired after there's a settlement one of those of course was Sam oh boy and he was forced to leave town because he couldn't get work anywhere

and he went to Pawtucket sorry he was forced to leave Pawtucket and he tried he then tried to open his own mill business but it didn't work because Sam was always drunk and his partner a Scotsman known as Kennedy ran off with all the money wow I mean that's pretty great I mean just like a great partnership honestly yeah just the guy's like I mean are you I didn't we already go over the numbers yeah we went over them a few times you said you're absolutely fine with everything I put forth now the problem is Samuel where's the money I've not bloody seen it where's it gone to no I gave I gave all of it I put it in the bag and I said here's you put it in the bag I can when I gave I gave the bags not

the bank I don't understand exactly you were supposed to put it in the bank that's why I gave it to you Sam you know what I think I've done I think I put in the bloody wash I think I've washed all the save it not all the bloody you didn't tell me you gotta give me a bloody heads up oh no you put in a bag yeah yeah for you it said bank on the front it the bags in the bag that said bank I think I might have thought that was a set of bank pipes that's what I think happened no we talked we talked about it and don't remember that well you're always so pissed though do you ever just like think about your hands yeah all the time that's good when you stay here you write some of that down I'll go on the never-ending quest

to find this bloody money I won't come back till I found it I've come back it's been a week so I found so many things you can do with hands since great work again awesome just like a weak jackass so he that now he's despondent drunk because his nothing setting up a mill didn't work so in 1826 he decides to move to Paterson New Jersey where he found work as a loom supervisor at a cotton mill he's the this cotton mills right by the 70 foot high waterfalls of the Paseik River now is the I mean is that in like his occupational service like it's gotta be he's just gotta be I'm looking for a mill with a high jump situation next to it well welcome aboard we're excited to have you be the loom supervisor

is there any huge areas with water around around here just on an unrelated note well yeah there's actually a giant there's like a cliff right I accept the position I'm also a bit of a jumper oh yeah oh and I have a big drinking problem so okay well welcome yeah so but don't worry that will not enter that will not interfere with the loom supervision in any way did I just say supervision by the way is let me guess let me guess you're wondering have I had anything to drink today no I haven't actually well I've had a little I have a little every morning and then I have a lot after that everybody our four year olds everybody's like oh great yeah I don't even know why I'm pointing that out okay yeah well I am a bit

on a bit of a blackout yeah so if I show up and don't know why I'm here just re-explain it to me yep okay great I'm about 30% of our work fantastic and again you are yes great thank you so much so you know that's obviously why he went there right it's a it's a giant 70 foot drop and it's a booming town it's America's first pre-planned America's first pre-planned industrial city for workers however it's like this Kafkaesque nightmare of taking slave picked cotton up north through and then putting it through massive industrial spinning looms resulting in you know people losing arms and smashed hands and there's rampant chronic pulmonary disease from the cotton dust so it's just it's that one of the workers

only respites from their hell was a 30 minute lunch break which a lot of them took on the North Shore of Patterson's Great Falls in a public picnic area that was named Forest Garden so they have this little place at lunch they get the 30 minutes let's just go there we'll eat our hoagies we'll just chill we'll watch the water there's a man about to kill himself now this mass of very poor working people made Forest Garden an absolutely terrifying place to the rich people of Patterson okay wow cuz they're like oh look at them they're eating yeah sitting around enjoying I think 30 minutes is too much for them the fuck them they're out there just enjoying the grass why can't they eat at the same time that they're

working isn't there a dungeon they should put those bags they give horses on their mouth that way they can have food while they were on August 14 1827 the little public picnic area was bought by mill owner Timothy Crane to transform it into a private day retreat for the rich wow so the place where they go to have their breaks a rich guy buys and he's like this will be finally where the rich can actually have some recreation so sick of the rich not having any of the breaks hopefully we can hose it down with a power wash to get all the poor off it he described his planned retreat as quote a place of rational amusement unlike the irrational amusement that the poor's have the filthiness of the polls filthy poorness

it was gonna have an upscale restaurant and scenic walks and other like well manicured parts of nature and Tommy gone to shoot the polls if they try to return please Crane also planned a new bridge across the falls one would have to pay two penny a toll to get across so poor people cannot afford it now people were angry but Crane explained quote if the bridge were to be thrown open the garden would be occupied by a set of lazy idle rascally drunken vagabonds this would drive away all the decent people we would lose our income and all of our little ornaments and improvements would be defaced ruined and destroyed so the people working their fucking asses off good are the lazy ones mm-hmm right yeah which

is so the bridge was assembled on the banks of the river and then a crane was gonna swing it into place now he set up a big event Sunday said September 30th 1827 to be grand reopening of the now private forest garden and that's when the bridge will be put in place and then Sam announced yeah that he would be upstaging the bridge bridge placement by jumping off the 70 foot high cliff on the same day is that his first jump no he's been jumping but this okay but there's gonna be a cloud right okay I mean it's gonna be a oh no the river is contaminated so Thomas Crane told sorry Timothy Crane told the cops to keep an eye on Sam so he can't make the jump he's like keep take care of this guy so the cops pick

him up and they lock him in a basement wait a minute you cannot what are you arresting me for suspicion of jumping again a jump that's why suspicion of a schedule jump so they lock him in this basement with a bunch of booze and they just leave him there I mean I guess yeah it's just the whole bullshit but okay I'm sure he was like there's worse crimes now the ceremony begins with the crane lifting the bridge in a place a small crowd of rich people near the top of the falls politely clap politely clap as Timothy Crane stands by and watches this thing oh and then suddenly a very drunk but not at all locked up Sam appears on the cliff who gets drunk it is like a good locksmith it's just he's got like Hulk skills

when hammered the the workers all just you know break into applause when he they're down at the bottom they all yay Sam's here they all break into applause and Sam yells quote Timothy Crane has indeed done great things but now I will do another and then he strips down to his undershirt and underwear yeah jumps off the cliff oh my god yes yes I mean all I like I do like the sort of like a game respects game Timothy Crane has done something fantastic as well and now to get into my underwear and cannonball so he doesn't do cannonball so this is what he does he did this is his jump he jumps with his body bent and his arms above his head and then suddenly straightens out like an arrow and goes down hits the water

so he kind of does so kind of a olympic olympic jumpy yeah right and he waits as long as he can to emerge and then when he comes up the crowd just goes you know crazy right he's officially upstaged Crane on his big day but now he is like a celebrity everybody's there he's a local celebrity so Sam would jump in the same spot two more times the next year do the rich to the the rich are like oh that was nice like they're like no no no they're like livid they're like this is a filthy guy who did it in his underwear like it's everything a drunk filthy guy in his own it's nothing that they want to be fair he wanted to do it sober but the police got a ball well you put him in when we call the drunk tank he

wanted to do a different drunk where he right he wanted to do it on his own drunk terms that's right his own drug I didn't want to do it with the gin gut I had whiskey brain in my heart of hearts so he upstages Crane again on July 4th by scheduling his jump right before Crane's grand private independence day banquet and fireworks show what a prick I mean that this that that is like the perfect villain the guy who I mean just like oh yes I've got my fourth of July planned and it'll be fireworks that shoot high enough that we can see but low enough that the poor eyes can't catch it over the horizon just the fact that he like they had one thing that they enjoyed and they have that these rich motherfuckers

these capitalists always have to take it away you can't have anything so distracted Crane actually ran for his garden for several years and then he lost it to debt collectors and he ended up dying alone and penniless in a wooden cabin so great end nice nice each time Sam jumped he collected more and more donations and he'd become America's first professional daredevil okay he's the first guy and there's no other daredevil out there wow the letter to the editor of the Vermont intelligence or quote there were from 10,000 persons assembling at Patterson to see Sam patch leap from Pasek falls this is in bad taste for although there is some tact and management in the feet it is still unnecessary sporting with human existence

and all such providers should be discounted and it's rational scientific and even daring exploits for rational objects may be encouraged but what is there in a leap over a cataract of 90 feet danger and desperation we remember a sleight of hand man who was exhibiting his feet in a village in this state much to the astonishment of the audience at length he said ladies and gentlemen I have one feet yet that will astonish you so saying he spread a carpet on the floor and with a pistol very coolly blew his brains out what what okay I'm sorry this journalist has really I mean Sam's not the only one taking long leaps this is quite a mental leap this person is taking look we know where this all leads he's gonna

lay out carpet and blow his brains out how many times must we relearn this lesson everyone for God sakes history is bashing on the door we must answer this ends with carpet brains the villagers were very much tickled but exceedingly grieved when they discovered that there was no sleight of hand in it he had just blown his brains out so they hung around like when does he say ta da yes what the trick part is over when is the all right you gather your brains and tell us how you've done that how did you do it we demand hold on don't let me finish talking to the man sir we demand to know how you've done that and we want you to clean the carpet I was just prodding and poking his little this little soupy thing

that he is now yes I'll tell you it's very convincing but I'm not going to be the one to leave right before he says to da oh no I don't want to be out in the parking lot when I hear he's back that's right exactly we'll have egg on our face my wife went home a few hours ago but I'm sticking around until this man tells us how he's done it it's starting to smell yes yes I would say the trick has a bit of a plot laying out but yes let's let's wait for the big ta da I demand to know how this man did it even though it's been a full fortnight and my wife and family have left me I'm still waiting for this man here to tell me how he's done it and mind you one further thing how he's laid there so perfectly

still for the whole two weeks without a sandwich or a sip of water the odor is horrendous it's getting worse and as I see the man decompose I actually want to know that wrinkle of the trick to I'm not gonna let him just walk away without us finding out how this is done even though it's been two and a half years my wife is fully divorced me my children are grown and I'm starving myself because I have no job anymore I've been let go I'm not leaving until this man who is now full skeleton tells me how he did this trick excuse me are you Mr. Johnson yes I'm Don Johnson I have a letter from our friend the magician the magician who sits before me yes it says I perform this trick and the end result will be the dissolution

of the marriage of Mr. Johnson to die man is great at what he does it says there at the bottom it says to die all right I'll just wait for the skin to come back on him and then I'll leave no he's dead I guess I'm not fully right he no he actually blew his brains out that was that the trick was that you then would that he'd ruin my life yes which he has yes it's over yeah no no no I guess I chose my lane yeah well done all right well um well we didn't do it I need a minute Sam now goes on what he calls his 1828 summer jumping tour in front of a crowd of 500 people in Hoboken he jumped from the mast of a 90 foot ship into the Hudson River wow he spends the summer traveling on New York and New Jersey

jumping off dams and factory walls and cliffs anything that seemed insane he's jumping up and he becomes a newspaper sensation right the press called him the Yankee leaper and Mr. Patch the New Jersey jumper the New Jersey jumper in a in the US Gazette in Philly quote he is now the paragon the lion attends the parties of ladies everyone desires to pry his contents to see if something extraordinary cannot be discovered they discover nothing however but a weird twist but a careless good-humored fizz fond of convivial convivality and good cheer so basically now he's not only jumped off of high things he's jumped his class a little bit because he's now being accepted in higher circles and people are want to just

like but he's a bit of a spectacle yes but these people want to get to know him a little better and then when they're like what makes him tick they're like oh he just is a nice guy who likes to have fun he's definitely becoming known as a drinker and you know whenever they come in it's drunk the guy the guy the guy who they locked in a basement full of booze they're like this guy actually does like to drink we discovered okay so he's just getting he's just jumping and drinking he's jumping and drinking and then when he goes to parties they're like okay and so he comes up with his catchphrase around this time oh yes which he would yell before he jumps right quote I only wish to prove that some things can

be done as well as others Dave I mean I definitely set a high bar for myself I wanted I wanted it to be like rat a tattoo or something like that you know but he he's kind of I mean it's really a mission statement so what is it again so it's it's I only wish to prove that some things can be done as well as others so it's also like a pick me up for people sure sure I wonder if he was running it by it like if he had like a little like group of punch-up writers who were like it's not seems like best it seems like he's trying to show people like you can do what you want to do as well as anybody else right you're the best fellow you want to be maybe made that sure that so again it's like jumping so it's like he's

drunk and he's jumping so it's yeah he's drunk so when he says stop you're like that's it's okay well it's also when you find you know when you find success it's very easy I always think that I like you see this with like you know like people who in like American Idol will be like you just got to follow your dreams fine you're like you won like a lottery contest like I don't think your path is the one that should be replicated as far you know all you got to do is figure out what you want to do and if it's jumping that just do it yeah so on July 3rd 1829 Sam published a letter in the New York Courier in which he said to celebrate a pen Independence Day he would jump over the Little Falls in Essex County New Jersey quote

some base person proposes that I should leap with a frog for a hundred sovereigns sovereigns I believe is a type of British money sure but it's a time to leap with a frog for money is someone is saying he should jump holding a frog I think okay which I agree with he's of course you do yeah of course yeah the frog not so much yeah I regret I'm just a frog I regret to perceive that the exploits oh I forgot about this point he I've got to mention this he now owns a pet fox and a penny and a pet bear because he didn't act did you didn't honestly forget that I did I did he it says a lot about a story when you're just like I forgot to mention he has a pet fox and then your follow-up is oh and a pet bear so he has

a pet fox a pet bear he's jumping drunk he's getting sovereigns and his next one involves a frog a frog on the fourth mate no the frogs not gonna happen I regret well all the things that he can't pull together he's hanging out with a fox and a bear he's like man I'll tell you I just can't find a fucking frog to work with I just such the divas I regret to perceive that the exploits of a most daring character take but an indifferent impression upon gallant people look at Leander who swam across the I forget the name of the sea to get he wrote this down I forget the name of the sea he wrote I forget the name of the sea yeah this is a letter he wrote okay I look at Leander who swam across the I forget the name of the sea

to get a peep at his sweetheart history has not forgotten him yeah they were sort of you can't say history has not forgotten him when in the letter you're writing you don't remember what he did I forget the name of it how hard would it be a blood you're writing was he writing writing the letter under the duress I would imagine that's it that's it that's the one look at look at Hannibal who crossed the mountains in winter and look at me who have jumped over the Pisaic Falls several times and have not been killed will history forget those exploits every skimble or scramble thing in the country is patronized from an Italian singer a pair of fat babies or a dancing corpse an Egyptian mummy or the dog Apollo

can make fortunes and can visit Saratoga Springs in summer while I who have done what Jove never did can scarcely make up a paltry fifty dollars pray come tomorrow and see my jump into the little falls and if you can spare a bottle throw it into the hamper I jump best under the influence of old Medaria so he's asking for boo there's a lot going on in that letter there I mean that like that's almost like he over promoted where you'd be like yeah I don't think I'm gonna go anymore it just seems like he's a little bit of a I mean he's having a conversation in his head he's it's a very ego centric conversation yes he's very much like I'm doing something fucking amazing yeah and I'm gonna be remembered

but am I gonna get paid baby and it's not amazing to be like I'm like Hannibal in the mountains and what's his face who swam across something or other I'm one of a kind and if you come tomorrow please throw some gin in my booze hamper and then he just asked for bottles I like a little bit of bottle in the booze give me a little booze hamper huh after a friend to tip me with a bottle of booze in the old hampie after a summer tour patch moves to upstate New York and there he spent all day drinking in the Buffalo bars and nights on display at a dime museum oh god those the nightmares that's a bad gig if you're him though you're probably like cuz they would like that I mean they were really those were

really terrible I mean that's where Ufti Gufti started yeah so he was he was probably like boy I'd say what I got I'll really like the fact that I just jump and ended up in one of these yeah it's unlike the merman while on display museum admission was reduced reduced to a nickel because patch would be too drunk to do or say anything worthwhile all right everybody listen listen to me we're cutting ticket prices in half the patch is he's in there but he is so drunk that you won't be able to talk to him or see him get up so it's now a nickel to come and see the patch show I mean I wonder if he was just laying on the ground or if just slumped in a chair but it just sounds like he was just like is patched

dad dad no I don't think so son his stomach is moving spiritually yes spiritually the man's vacant but seems like he's breathing still in the fall of 1829 Sam was invited to Niagara Falls by a hotel owner who planned a grand spectacle to promote tourism that's right would like to have you come down and jump into the falls huh the spectacle included an area called Table Rock that would be blown to pieces to clear way for a viewing platform wow okay like once again we're like nature can suck it the Huntsville Democrat quote a greater concussion is not in the power of human means to create that the proposed blast at Table Rock this is a patriotic act so right so they're like we're gonna blow up rock for

America so you can watch this guy jump properly to open a hotel I don't think it's just I don't think that's to jump they're just blowing it up for viewing of you view to see you can view the falls it's just to blow it up to get a good look see right I love that move where you're just like you this nature untouched pure you have to get a look of it so we're gonna blow up this mountain okay yeah that's right we really respect the nature and we want to make it we it's important that you see this before you go I mean God's work untouched is glorious we need more dynamite to put in here to make the platform proper to blow the shit out of this it just seems really contradictory it does not seem contradictory

it's awesome this is the power of nature behold nature from this platform we dynamite it okay earth is ours when I give up earth is ours a decommissioned schooner the superior would be sent over the falls to crash into pieces this is all part of this big event that they're doing sure it would be filled with geese and other wild animals along with an effigy of recently elected president Andrew Jackson I it's just like it sounds like they just didn't know any pitch we should fill it with geese for sure and let's light a effigy of Jackson absolutely no problem we'll definitely make sure we have an effigy of Andrew Jackson captaining the goose schooner no problem I anyone to have any more notes but it didn't go off because the schooner ended up

getting stuck on a rock and didn't go over the cliff so all those wild animals were saved that's good and and the effigy the final spectacle of this big thing is Sam doing a 120 foot jump from a platform well hopefully that goes off historian Ruth Rosenberg an upper stick in Rochester history magazine quote within an hour of the scheduled jump a chain securing the ladder to the cliff walls snapped breaking 15 feet from the ladder the steady morning rain and already diminished expected crowds and was slowing work on the ladder patch was visibly distressed he was anxious to jump from this greatest of challenges to build his reputation that he felt was now at stake seems sort of self-invented the stakes a little bit but so 15 feet of the ladder is gone it's

pissing rain so there's less people but he's still like I want to do this jump yeah otherwise people won't believe I can do stuff well yeah the same Sam the chickened out guy is that what you want yeah right so it takes four hours and they fix the ladder okay and then he climbs the colonial american advocate quote patch walked out clad all in white and with great deliberations put his hands to his sides and jumped from the platform while the boats below were on the lookout forum he had in one minute reached the shore unnoticed and unhurt and was heard singing merrily on the beach so they were they probably all thought he was dead yeah they must didn't know because I think you know patch is gone I don't remember and then you

just hear like from the bridge like she's a grand old flag she's a high flying flag oh my lord there's a lot of mist that goes up in the air at uh Niagara as I recall all right which is one of the dreariest places you've ever been but um uh so I assume that he just got lost in that and then they just heard the singing and they all cheered yeah I mean yeah but I like to picture it like you know the movie where they're all like oh my god he's I haven't seen him come up oh gosh oh no well she'll be coming round the mountain when she comes when she cunnies behind him um here you're acting like that's not exactly what happened that is exactly what happened that's great that's how you build legends singing um so then he walks through the

crowd the small crowd with a bag to collect money you know so he's the tip guy at the end yeah right right he's the tip jar so five days later I'm sure booze five days later he put an ad in a buffalo newspaper apologizing for quote a puny jump of 85 feet and he now promised to jump 130 feet on october 17th so he was like that wasn't a big enough jump I could have done better I thought that jump was 120 feet yeah but I think because of the ladder breaking it oh he was lower okay so now he's disappointed right okay uh so he's gonna do this bigger jump 130 feet on the platform he took in the cheers for 10 minutes then hugged and kissed an american flag and jumped oh my god I like that that's like a desolation on the trump stuff I want the next president to like

insert so it's 130 feet 30 feet what's he doing to that flag that's right lady there's 10,000 people there to see him holy shit when pulled from the water he yelled a new catchphrase quote there's no mistake in Sam patch and the crowd yelled back quote this is the real Sam patch oh that's way better that's way better by the way that's a way that's how a catchphrase I mean it still doesn't make a ton of sense but it's still a great it's a way better catchphrase so wait one more time the back and forth was what there's no mistake in Sam patch this is the real Sam patch yeah I mean it's fun it's uh I like it yeah yeah it's it's show it's show busy right yeah there's no mistake in the real Sam patch this is the real Sam patch a newspaper said Sam patch has now immortalized

himself Sam was on the front page all across the country holy shit honey did you hear this guy jumped 130 feet what his name became a household word and his slogan some things can be done as well as others became a popular slang expression across the country okay so I guess it worked it was a catchphrase it was actually a patch phrase okay yep and the buffalo we're back the buffalo republican quote the jump by patch is the greatest feat of the kind ever affected by man he may now challenge the universe for a competitor that's right he has fully proven himself to be human's greatest person and now it is time to look outside of earth for a challenger I'm talking about a galaxy wide competition of jumping it's time to find a competitor worthy of him for there

is none on this dumb husk of a planet any longer yes question I would say his only competitor is the universe that's a very good point which is why Sam will be competing against Neptune he is going to see who has more of a gravitational pull himself or one of our planets that's right this Thursday night Sam patch will be jumping versus Neptune and by the way Neptune has not replied to the invitation haha yeah exactly just how we planned it exactly my friend and well we've we expect and by the way if we don't hear from no one of my take a minute for Neptune descendants RSVP I understand that so we could give him Neptune another week but Neptune's silence to some of us is quite deafening we demand a competitor from at least

another planet or potentially some sort of Martian man we would say a Martian woman but they will only get paid two-thirds of what the Martian man will be paid still nothing from Neptune by the way yeah no I'm sure that seems like that will go on for a long time baby planet he's no Pluto so he he he promises one last jump in the US before he goes to tour London he's going to jump off the London Bridge that's the plan okay but before that he's going to perform in the incredible city of Rochester New York oh I was right near there yes it's a 94 foot falls on the Genesee River and it was gonna he was gonna conquer that baby on Friday March 6th 1829 he's only been at this for like a year and a half or a couple years like it's

1829 it's not right yeah but he's ready to yeah but he's it's time to go international man for sure enough you've already conquered this land so leading up to the jump he drank in local bars every night to jump interest and to get drunk more than once he was found sleeping right he didn't have to be drinking for the promotion he could have gone to the bars and sort of done his PR but while he was there he was doing a little sipsy doodles okay and so he's been being found in the streets passed out yeah um so this man is just a full-blown alcoholic oh 100% okay he found out in the paper he promised no mistake could occur during the jump aspectators to bring a donation to help with his travel costs and said his pet bear would also be

making the leap what the fuck no that's not okay yeah yeah it's fine it's okay it's what bears do in nature i don't enjoy the that's what they do in nature how is he how is the bear traveling with him is the bear in a cage it must be it or it's on a leash i mean this is leash bear time a lot of people have been leashed bears on the day of the jump it estimated eight to ten thousand people showed up sam came out he probably went to the bear and he was like by the way not a lot of bears out there did you even tell anyone did you there's like you're not doing your part oh yeah well i know but there's like eight to ten thousand humans out there and like no other bears oh don't you get mad at me dude i'm telling you this is a partnership if i jump and don't listen to me all right i understand

a deal is a deal but if you think we're doing a 50 50 split of whatever we make you're out of your bear mind okay well no no no dude look i'll give you part of what we promised but you need to start drumming up bear support i'm tapping out the human market when we go to london it better be way more bear stuff oh you don't swipe at me you do not swipe at me what are you mad at me for huh i'm the one who's pulling most of the weight around here and i weigh like an eighth of yours and i accept that and someday our back and forth dynamic will be turned into a relationship in a sci-fi movie about wars and the stars that's right come here i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry too i'm sorry too i'm sorry too my dog is really concerned about this

it's like what are we doing what are you trying to tell me dad um so right he's gonna do the jump so on the day of the jump eight to ten thousand people sam comes out he bows um checks out the jump the platform and stuff and then he turned around and walks off and everyone's like what the fuck because that wasn't the real sam he had sent out a fake sam he appears right after oh a newspaper reporter quote sam patch with a gay handkerchief twisted about his head which is apparently now one of part of his look he had a handkerchief around his head uh and in shirt and trousers a leaped clear of the rock spread his arms and holding his feet together and bending backward he fell rapidly to the water which he struck feet far most having suddenly thrown his arms down close

to his body it's very hard for a paper to describe a jump i'm finding it really is isn't it because i'm like what i'm picturing is just not what it is well he put his he spreads his arms on his feet together um what does that mean okay okay so he's feet together yeah so uh and then he bent backward a bit and you know falls rapidly so and then he falls feet first feet first so he kind of planks arms arms close to his body feet first he goes in yeah he planks planks in okay the crowd met him below and handed him his clothes and a bottle of saint crawl so he gets a bottle of booze and then the bear's like everybody's gotta know he's a shit he's a shit-faced drunk at this point oh yeah no it's like farley like they're just like hey load them up yeah but and then the bear

the Vermont the Vermont and republican american quote afterwards he threw a bear which he'd bought it's horrible it's horrible but it's absolutely i mean as an after afterwards he threw a bear which he'd brought in from Buffalo over the falls the poor animal whirled through the air and reaching the water sank but soon swam ashore and was caught from further torture oh my god at least they frame it properly yes i mean anybody watching a bear just somersault is going to be like well that's fuck throws a bear and then the someone's like well done look at the two of you what a team now despite the huge crowd sam didn't think he'd got enough money when this is over i mean that was a very close that's as full on his spit take as

i could possibly do without ruining equipment so sam decides to jump again the next friday he needs more money so he's also he's going to london so he probably needs the money to go so on friday the 13th of february he's jumping on friday the 13th why would that be a problem okay posters were hung advertising quote higher yet sam's last jump now last jump means last jump before he goes to london right right the poster had a huge eagle holding an american flag shield hell yeah a platform was built 25 feet over the rock ledge to raise the height of the jump to 125 feet now sam drank all morning and then is made his way to the falls as one does he downed a final glass of brandy at the base of the ladder and then started climbing very shakily

jesus christ once he reached the platform he shouted party after the jump yeah yeah he shuts down to the crowd unless you need to be drunk to have courage right okay sure well and also i mean like this this happens in entertainment still where it's like people will intertwine you know a vice with the i'm better with this or i need this or whatever oh yeah the number of comics who think they're better high and aren't oh dude when i first started before i was like i mean yeah when i was like featuring and stuff i'd be like i need two shots then i'm like in my zone and it's like no dude you're like your words aren't coming out as well yeah um so there's 20 000 people now watching him jesus and he shouts down quote napoleon was a great man

and a great general oh uh sam can't new catchphrase is already kind of not working he conquered armies and he conquered nations but he couldn't jump the genesee falls wellington was a great man and a great soldier he conquered armies and he conquered napoleon but he couldn't jump the genesee falls the sun's going down to do and i can do it and i will i mean it's really it's not only a drunk guy it's like yeah i mean like you see the ego in there you know i mean he's like napoleon was pretty good but it wasn't much of a jumper he leapt from the platform knees slightly bent arms slightly raised everyone waited for him to once again straighten out like an arrow as he did and make his signature

splash instead sam's head fell backwards his legs spread out and his body turned completely sideways as he smacked the water at 61 miles per hour oh my god quote with a noise that might be heard half a mile oh my god according to an eyewitness i think napoleon could do that the bear definitely so yeah and the bear's like i'm not going on i'm good to go wow so so i mean he's just gotten too drunk too cocky he's too high and yeah i think he's too drunk i would imagine it's extremely difficult to and to gather yourself in air and make yourself into oh i was watching these like my nephew and i were watching the um i think what is it like free skiing basically where it's just basically you just you go as far like if you start to get fucked up in the air

it's over like there's no correcting yourself so he yeah i mean so even if you hesitate or anything when he's jumping he probably can't correct it but again i mean getting so drunk yeah it doesn't help yeah so i mean any hesitation and you're you're that's right so okay so so anyway you were saying that his body made a sound that could be heard half a mile away he hits he hits the water and then he just sinks like a rock oh because it's like concrete from that yeah he doesn't go in so when you hit water like that you kind of i think if i recall quick you bout you kind of almost bounce a little bit before you go i talked to you like it uh i talked to a guy i worked the golden gate bridge once i also talked to a guy i jumped and survived friend a brother's friend

anyway um crazy tangent the crowd waited for the yankee jumper to surface a local paper reported a prominent local citizen bit off the end of his thumb maybe so nervous waiting so this guy's who's this guy this guy's getting so concerned that he's not coming up that he accidentally bites off the end of his thumb what a crazy i mean we we do we have tension today and nervousness today but i i mean we're not like there's not a lot of no i'm sure there's a ton of not thumbs that you don't know about sure i guess it's just not making the papers because it's just an epidemic yeah an old lady called out quote if there's anything in dreams that man is dead oh man i think she's saying that she dreamt he was gonna die and now he's she's seen i knew this well why

didn't you speak up earlier ma'am i thought it was just something i ate before bed i had a we i had a bunch of bread before i went to bed i didn't realize that that was actually a premonition telling me to stop and get involved oh boy the ripple of this time is not good okay this falls on your backs a man that one everybody else is having thoughts we're not saying them out loud but i dreamt this i even dreamt this conversation where you reprimanded me for bringing up the fact that i had this premonition oh gosh almighty lord lord you have validated my my soon saying and my ability to predict the future but unfortunately i didn't speak up i was going to but then he said all that stuff about napoleon and i thought oh no well he's right he's better than napoleon

who is a piece of shit he was tiny and just put his hand in his jacket but now i realize i should have spoken up that man's dead and i dreamt it oh i thought it was because i had a bunch of raspberry preserves on my bread i guess since uh this is a dollop story that i'm gonna you're gonna become my cult leader and i'm gonna follow you around yes yes that's right eventually i'll be eating the hearts of a lot of the men in this crowd okay then yep follow me to a barn where we'll make our own flag and language and soon we'll write hymns about ourselves i'm your queen sadly san patch was actually dead wow he patched away passed away were you waiting for that no how many plates you think i could spin wow the rochester herald quote the exhibition had a marked depressing effect on

the crowd in less than five minutes almost everyone had fled for the locality silent somber and melancholy so everyone just kind of slowly just there was probably one guy was like there's probably one guy was like i was at another show he's going to be behind us singing in no time he does this he likes to milk the moment he's going to be singing grand old flag behind us within five minutes you wait you watch same's okay by the way has anyone seen the bear he's been under for a while too i just i've been to i've been to like big playoffs game or where my team lost but i can't imagine walking away from this one oh terrible what do you say is anyone hungry so boat search form all day they can't find him in the evening they light

torches and they're looking they can't there's no sign of him for days and then months a sam patch truther movement begins oh no people speculate he hid behind the waterfall and escaped when everyone else was gone letters from fake sam patches are are printed in newspapers there's no doubt right now that this is the illuminati they took sam patch with them right now it's because they're putting fluoride in the water and they're just it's a way it's a designed way for them to believe and get us to vote for anyone who's not jackson you're gonna tell me that this isn't 5g you're gonna tell me sam patch just hit the water and then didn't and that was it that's not 5g it's pretty obvious by the way i'm also selling some sam patch bone broth

people claiming to be sam popped up all over new york i'm one person in one person in rochester placed a hundred dollar bet that sam would reappear to tell his tale at an ockily's eagle bar in rochester on january 1st 1830 i don't know why he was so specific but the specific this bar on this day telling us what happened to him the specific ones always seem to work a little bit did you say 1930 you meant 1830 1830 yeah 1930 would be and 1930 and if i'm alive then i expect to collect 1830 seven miles downstream from high falls a farmhand named sylas hudson was using an axe to break up ice on top of the river for his horses to have a drink when the hairless frozen corpse of sam patch popped up oh god sam's signature signature handkerchief was still tied around

his waist ta-da by the way the guy who was through the paper that was talking about the guy who blew his brains out on a carpet piece of carpet as actually pretty right don't do it i told all you i was called crazy when i wrote the brain blowing carpet guy story okay so this guy this farmhand is getting he's like i'll just make don't worry peaches don't worry matilda i'll just cut a little hole in here for y'all to have some nice ice cold river oh boy i think i don't have it written here but i think it's eight months later jesus christ i mean say patrick maybe six months later but i think it's eight months anyway um yeah he was gone for months and months months and um so yeah he's just gone which is sad well let's all say a prayer

rochester daily advertiser and telegraph i had a dream that he was gonna appear in a hole in the water too oh well quote we learned that none of the bones are broken and that the face is not so greatly injured as to prevent recognition a cut on the forehead is the only one found on about the body what is more surprising is that in the seven miles between the falls and the mouth of the river there are several falls those are carthage carthage being a hundred and four feet at which it might be supposed the corpse would have been dashed to pieces so he went down the river through all these falls jumping he kept jumping even when he passed yes he kept doing jumps he loved it there was probably some guy who was like whoa that was sam patch i told you he was okay his new looks a little

strange now later that year andrew jackson named a beloved stallion sam patch everyone wrote a poem about sam patch nathaniel hawthorne herman melville william carlos williams wow like he was written about so much two plays about sam toured the us for years one toured as far as england and was very popular sam patch or the daring yankee and there were sequels to that sam patch at home sam patch in france and sam patch the jumper in 1844 so he's like star wars in france sam patch in france is just like well as the crux of my uh play is basically what would it be like if sam patch was ever to come to france and to jump off the aphor tower down into the sand which is um you know where i think it eventually would have gone so it is grounded in reality

but it also has a flair for the fiction yeah no i'm i'm ready to fund you i think it's a wonderful idea yes let's get started and sam patch will obviously be played by gerry lewis uh he's unbelievable and he will find bring to the characters the brevitys that we need uh so super excited for the grounded performance of uh sam patch uh it's called uh sam patch in france oh yeah i go that's stung so sam's name name later became synonymous with a cheap brand of notoriety people who did reckless things to get attention were said to be quote acting like sam patch i mean that's not a great legacy his name became a substitute for swear words as in what in the sam patch oh kind of like sam hell this went on for decades wow for decades trains going through

rochester stopped on the tracks above the falls so passengers could see where he made his fatal leap also for decades anytime anyone fell off something and lived headlines read sam patch out don for decades like he became a part of just like right he's a term yeah he's a term he's uh like it's crazy which is uh more he was immortalized there was one headline about a cow that fell off a cliff and lived the cow had sam patched sam had done sam patch absolutely historian ruth rozenberg a napper strike a quote no one knows for certain what became of the bear bear travelers reported seeing it very at various taverns some too late to be within the lifetime of the bear one account claimed that john sears the barber made bear grease hair come from him

what okay so the bear lore is that potentially the bear was seen in taverns just what just like well remember they had everybody had a whiskey and honey huh yeah they had like bears and taverns back then there was like sure it happened all the time right sorry sometimes there's a bear in the corner yeah right sometimes we've talked about this before i'm aware that we've talked about it before but it's also just sort of like it's um you know it's a difficult adjustment to time in our history when bears and bars were not stuffed and that was totally fine um okay and then what did the barber do the barber essentially got bear grease made bear grease hair cream from him so i think he so he was just like combing like the bear and he was like

that's some good grease yeah so it's hair grease but it was like taken from the bear right which i'm sure was also bullshit of course yeah yeah it's yeah but anybody it's called bear if you were at a bear and you were in ohio you just be like oh i can just say this is the sam patches bear right and then people would come in to see him in your which is basically what they were trying to do with sam patch until they found him that's right right um so that's it that's the story of sam patch now this was um written by a comedian named rivers and langley who has a podcast right and rivers sent this to me i told i write right his podcast is called the goods from the woods yes um so he did this on his own podcast and his own podcast covers like pop like all kinds of different crazy

shit but um yes i've been on his podcast before yeah um that is amazing wow other sources the buffalo news heavens ditch god gold and murder on the eerie canal by jack kelly uh ruth Rosenberg a napar strex writings in rochester history magazine sam patch the famous jump jumper by paul johnson it happened in new jersey by friend capo the public blog spot new york ghost dot com in a weird new jersey man that is fucking crazy it really is isn't it yeah that's crazy people just want to be entertained well again i mean i will not dig too deep into it but it does just again highlight the concept that you know when you make it so that like people do not have access to a life that can flourish because they're forced to work in factories they do crazy shit and you

have to figure out crazy shit to get out of the rut that you were kind of like forced to start from whereas now whereas crane is able to you know open his own park and shit like that some other people because of poverty have to fucking put their lives on the line to jump into rivers yeah this one's multifaceted right so he he uh to escape the absolute brutality of the being a seven-year-old working in a mill working in a mill for 14 hour days he started jumping and getting drunk but he also had the whether it's genetic or just family history he also had that their dad's a crazy drunk so he's already um he's already got that gene or whatever it is that's in him but the combination of just like oh what else am i gonna fucking do working at god damn factory forever with this guy

until my hand gets chopped off or whatever so yeah of course start jumping but then there's a thing of like well maybe he doesn't want to do it because he's drunk all the time or maybe he can't do it unless he's just fucking shitfaced well there's just so many different you but your lines blur as a human because then eventually you just it's what you do so of course you're gonna do what makes you like successful in some way you know or give you money it's successful or does he just not want to have a fucking job like well yeah he doesn't want to be part of yeah i mean the air options your options are jump a drunk or have a life of basic you know indentures all this it always comes back to me for the thing which is um you shouldn't have to work if you don't want to look work is

bullshit most work is fucking pointless we could be working very few hours a day um tons of the shit that's all of your house is totally unnecessary but people put it together some guy in fucking china it makes a little round bottle every day and it gets sent to indonesia and they put the bobble on a stick and then it gets sent to america and you buy it and it's like those guys could be sitting around and they could just have money or they could just live like all this shit we're doing we've constructed a entire world on a bullshit system yes that just gets guys to sit in the top chair and everyone else is fucked and it's fucking dumb and that's all what i read the story i was like yeah this guy yeah this guy didn't his kids didn't want to work no one wanted to do this but

yet it became a spectacle and he became this thing but did he really want to do it i mean maybe he did or did he just want to be famous but you don't know he just don't want to work he didn't want to work but yeah it's like when people you know when people like i mean there's so many occupations where you have that but that you know there's also the idea that like if you give someone a occupation that is satisfying and they're not overworked and they get you know they get money well then okay then i understand the monetary system to some extent if it's like pretty much most people are able to experience like you know pleasure and feel like they do accomplish something but that's not what we live in now now you live in like 80 hour work weeks where three different

jobs all basically serve flavor and you know that is just vastly different from um you know what they're used used to be we've never gotten it right but it is like it's horrifying right now as i mean similarly horrifying to having seven-year-olds drink and work and mills like we're headed on that path versus the one where you know what i think i'm just gonna sit by a pond and fish today for my food yeah you know i mean yeah it's like when i started doing stand-up part of me was like i want to be you know a stand-up but another part of me was like i don't want a job like i want to wake up at at noon is that cool can i do that like that's that's a big part of like but even now it's like it's a lot harder any business like it's a lot harder to get you know to any business it is so

much harder to succeed in than it was 10 years ago and it was harder than than it was 10 years prior and it's only getting harder and 10 years from now it'll be even worse everything is getting worse everything is you're getting less for more so look if if jeff bezos money is spread throughout the amazon workforce then it spreads around because like you and i artists who who paint whatever else well now joe that works at the factory can fucking buy that yes and can and it's because it's all in one guy's fucking pocket yeah it's just that's all it is it's in a guy's pocket and he's going to the fucking moon and god i hope it i hope that next one just doesn't come back like oh that's you know he's gonna go up again cool it i i want it i i mostly want it

it to blow up because i want the rich to see the reaction of people on earth because i think their minds will be fucking blown it's a it says a lot if they live in a bubble where they don't know that we're rooting for them to explode 100% they have no clue but 99% of people are like man that thing gotta be pretty great oh god i mean well but yeah i mean it's like we should we're very we should be at the point where we're smashing their windows and fucking calling them names i mean i don't know i said that and i said that on a podcast a long time ago during the pandemic and people said that i was the problem so well that's what i'm saying i'm trying to trap you so that people again know that you are the problem which you are rich people should be should not be able

to go to restaurants like these really really rich people should not be able to go to restaurants and and have peace no people should be yelling at them all the time because they have all are they i mean there's we should point out we should also mention that we are on um with robert evans behind the bastards and we're doing um we're doing the episode on uh henry kissinger well he called it behind it's a special it's it's it's on the same theme but it's a it's it's its own podcast and it's called behind the bastard behind the bastard um but we we get into that at one point towards the end of it there is uh some talk of of you know what what they should be allowed to do and it doesn't take much to make them feel discomfort for their actions and they should

be shamed yeah they really should be 100 anyway what a crazy story but i'm glad we took it there there great job roopers