The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 525 - The House of David

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the cult the House of David. Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch

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American History podcast each week. I, fuck, Dave, Anthony, read the story from American History to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about preposition. People are asking why? Why what? Why you don't know the topic. I mean it's kind of baked it at this point. Well people are saying let's let's shake it. Let's do it where I know yeah I mean it'd be a different show. People are saying let Gareth know what is today's. Here's what people are saying. People are saying let Gareth know but then you have an accident and you don't know. So I write the story. It's gonna be pretty hard to get

that. I give it to you and then I get into a head-on car accident or whatever and then I don't even know who I am right and we come back. You've pitched the solution if memory loss ever takes hold you know which would be a problem. We do the show all over again. Well you write it up and then I wait two weeks then you forget everything you've learned and then I read it to you and then I'll start pretending like I wrote it and I'll be like oh my god I work my balls off on this. You're like you just sit there and you just come up with whatever you want to say on the spot. I'm working my ass off. So here's what

we do after this episode. We'll start the new show next week. I will get into a terrible terrible head-on car crash and then I'll come back and I'm not gonna know who I am. I'm gonna have no fucking idea. And then we'll do the and we'll just go down. It's taught me anything. It's that this plan can and will work. How can it not? Yeah you will be it'll be like you'll I mean yeah you'll just have a bunch of smoke and question marks going around your head and then yeah and then you just have to do that every couple weeks. Probably. Right this is for people trying to get a podcast. By the way this is the kind of stuff. This is a good idea.

This is a good idea. This is a great idea. And called it quote is jam-packed. Jam-packed? I'm the fucking hippo guy. My name's Gary. My name's Gary. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not gonna become a tiggly podcast. Okay. This is like a five-part coefficient. Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep That's like a hippo. Action partner. Hi Gary. No. Is he done my friend? No. No. Ronda. Ronda in the court. We will be in Australia. America's largest content. Continent content. We will be in Melbourne April 19th. We will be in Adelaide April 20th. We'll be in Melbourne

the 24th of April. We'll be April 27th. We'll be in Brisbane. April 29th. We'll be in Sydney. April 30th. We'll be in Canberra. May 1st. We'll be in Sydney. And May 3rd. We're somehow gonna go to Perth. Probably on a plane. I will also be there. Maybe not. We can walk it. I will also be there doing stand-up comedy with a microphone in Perth, Australia, the 21st of April. Melbourne, Australia, the 22nd, the 23rd. I'll be in Melbourne again. Then I'll be in Prospect, which is Adelaide. May 4th. May 5th. Brisbane. May 6th. Sydney. May 8th. Canberra. And then we will be... That just seems like a lot of bragging. It's going great. And then we'll be

domestically traveling the United States of America. Best country on earth. Number one, God's favorite. May 12th, Boston. May 13th, New York. May 14th, DC. July 2nd, Madison. July... sorry, June 2nd, Madison. June 3rd, Milwaukee. June 4th, Chicago. June 5th, St. Paul. June 17th, Seattle. June 18th, Portland. And June 31st, doesn't exist. What? June 31st. It wasn't the last thing? June 31st. It wasn't real. We didn't go to the moon. What do you... Oh, God. You're listening to Joe Rogan and Dave Anthony here on... We didn't go to the moon. News Daily. Stanley Kubrick directed the moon landing, dumbass. We are brought to you in part by

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Let's stop messing around. Get yourself a website. So look, here's what you're gonna do. You are gonna go over to squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code dollop to save, temp sign off your first purchase of a website or domain. So this is for people who sleep. I know some people don't. But for those of us who do and really enjoy it, I got to recommend Helix sleep. I have, we have a couple of Helix sleep mattresses in our house. They come by themselves to your home and they come in a box and you open that Helix mattress up, comes alive. You have a conversation. You tell it where to go. It goes into the bedroom. It gets on the bed and then you're

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feed behind the bastards feed, not ours. So a little warning on this one. I thought this was about something else and I started researching it and then a little bit of sex. Bad, bad sex stuff for this one. Bad sex stuff. Crimes. Just a little bit of warning. March 27, 1861. Benjamin Pernell was born in Carson city, city Kentucky. And he grew up poor, if you can imagine in the 1860s in Kentucky, very rare. He took little interest in anything in anything. That's, that's the description. Nothing intrigued him. Nothing apparently liked nothing. Everything was not, everything was a pass. Yeah, it seems that way. He got married. Marriage. Why did he get married? He was probably like marriage. No. No, I guess

it's what you do. But baby. Wow. What's the point? Swimming. Come on. Fish in. I don't need that. Sleeping. I mean, I guess if my body makes me thinking, I mean, only to pass on things. It's all he's doing is just sitting there. And then some girl came along and was like, you're nice. Okay, I guess. So, uh, uh, yeah, he marries at 16 to Angeline Brown. Okay. And she said he was quote, shiftless and like to lay around in the sun and eat and sleep, which so he's essentially a man lizard. He's I mean, even lizards climb walls. They have interest. Yeah. Yeah, he, he, but what, what has just been described as my ultimate life? Just laying in the sun with nothing to do just fucking eating and laying about.

I never leave the backyard. I think it would. I mean, that is like, like the ASPCA jumps in if that happens to a dog. I come over and I know ASPCA is like, look how happy this dog is. Well, I mean, it, I, well, yes, because I guess if you're contented by such, uh, simplicities, but I would imagine at some point you would want something else. You would want something else rather than just laying and eating. Well, then I go in the house for a little bit. Well, now, now the plot's thickening. And now I come back out and I lay down and I eat. And that's it. It's just not what deal. And it's basically the pandemic, the 2020 pandemic for you. Cause it's over. So Benjamin, if you can believe

this, he really didn't get any education. I'm shocked. I know it's hard to believe. He has no career goals. It's all tracking, but he has to get a job, right? Because he's married and you know, he's old. So he gets a job selling brooms. That's right on time. Isn't it right? I mean, if you were to say like the, what is the most boring job, it would be something like that. Yeah. Yeah. He P drops down a little pile of dirt and you go see it's sweet. Yeah, it is. It's the 1800s, like vacuum cleaner door to door. Yeah. Or you just like, you're not going to believe what this broom can do. Now simply I'll pour a little bit of this dirt on your floor here. Watch closely. I sweep this up

into this little thing here. That is gone. Does it work with liquid? Let me pour a little milk on your rug. No, it doesn't work with liquid. Okay. We're all learning stuff. We are all learning valuable things. Unfortunately, I've shirked facts and concepts for most of my existence. Therefore I'm learning as we go. What about human vomit? Let me just put my fingers down. Very similar to milk. It's actually getting in the carpet next to the milk. All right. So dirt. Yes. Milk. No. Vomit from me. No. Oh boy. We've learned a lot. Now, would you like to buy a rug? Would you like to buy a carpet? Yes. All right. Let's see if this thing sweeps up carpet. Whoa. Boy, I'm really just tearing some of these staples

at the wall here. Boy, I've ruined that now. All right. So what have we learned today? This magic of the broom will go dirt. Yes. Vomit. No. Milk. Not at all. Can it sweep carpet up from the foundation? Not at all. So that'll be $200. I need it because some idiot told me I should marry her and now here I am. All I want to do is lay in the sun and eat honey like a bear man. Honey, you're just testing out what you'll say on other people. Yeah. That's the pitch. Okay. Yeah. Let's see if it sweeps up tears. It do not. Boy, tears are like milk and vomit. So they had a daughter. Oh, so he was fucking. But within two years of getting married, he walks out on the family. He's like, bye. I'm over it. Now they didn't

formally divorce because at the time there's a law in Kentucky stating if someone's under 18 and they walk out, then the marriage is considered null. Oh, so you get a two year annulment window? If you're under 18, so they're like, wow, he's a kid. Okay. I like it. There probably were so many divorces. They're like, how do we do this without how do we the kids that the 14 year olds would get married? How do we do this? The walk away. All the paperwork without the pay because it's really just like having a high school boyfriend and you break up with them. Right. In this case, they got married. Right. Yeah, it's a low state. Now that is a marriage I could settle into. If I had the option, if I had a two year walk

away option carved out, even as a grown ass man, you know what? You know what? You should try is just laying around in the backyard in the sun. I'm closing in on your dream. I'm close. Yeah. So he claims he's under 18, although that might not have been the case. So that means he's still married, maybe legally. Okay. So in 1880, he married Mary Stallard and he found his calling as a preacher. Oh my God. It's just a guy who's avoiding facts who has no interest in real work. And he's just like, I'll just talk about the imaginary man. I'll just talk about pretend Skyman. Uh, say I always think about how Sam Kinnison also chose between being a preacher and being a comedian. Like they're very similar lifestyles.

Oh, it's all so performative. I mean, if you if you make like a good living now as a preacher, I mean, yeah, you are. It's performative. I mean, it's a I mean, the whole thing about a preacher or some of these like priests is like they are saying that God directly communicates to them. So you just you are fudging your reality, which is magic. So you are very it is like you're a magician. You're a comic. I am a magician. I'm a magical person. Well, I mean, I don't know. I give out. I feel like the pernell's traveled around Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio and he preached. They lived a nomadic life out of their home, which was a covered wagon. Oh, I was going to say, I was picturing one of those like wide load trucks just driving

like driving their house from event. Well, that's their version of it back then. Yeah, he lives in a wagon. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. How nice is this? He built a following. Now he's an Israelite. I'm totally not going to go into this stuff because whenever I read about religions and their beliefs, my eyes glaze over and I want someone to strangle me. So isn't that just being that's just being like Israeli with with only one calorie? Sure. That's let's go with that. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Thank you. In 1895 in Detroit, they went to see Prince Michael Mills. Now he is the prince of an Israelite religious cult called the Flying Rollers. Sure. Right. Also a roller coaster. Yeah. Yes. Benjamin and Mary joined

the cult. Okay, great. It's a big so Benjamin's preaching talent brings people into the cult and he tours and he spreads the message. Sure. Quote during this time, there was a great work of preparation going on by crucifixion and suffering. I went through long and hard fasting before traveling. Often I went without food for several days. And why? Because of the crucifixion because that's what Jesus did. Yeah, I think. Yeah, I think it's his way of saying he was suffering. He would. I like the idea that you see the crucifixion and you're like, he must have been starving up there. Like there is a worst part of the crucifixion besides hunger pains. Yeah, it was driving nails through the pubs. Have you

ever had bad hunger pains? Well, I there's a lot of people who say Jesus's last words were just like maybe some watermelon. The beans is good lentils. Go get a Sammy. Does anyone have a party? Look, my ribs. Look, I'm a famished. Just put a strawberry on my lips. Please. Is there any way for you to put a grape in your mouth and shoot it like a cannon into mine? Try hard. Somebody get a hose of blueberries. Does anyone have chocolate to throw up here? I'll open my mouth. I'll dislocate my jaw like a python. Please. That's the movie. The movie is us us trying to feed people on crucifixes with by throwing food up to their mouth. Yeah, hungry. Boy, if we got a crucifix. So Benjamin took a leadership

position in the cult after a bit. But then Mills thought he was becoming too influential in the cult. And by the way, it clearly shows you this religion is purely about God and his word. Yeah, that's right. When you're like, I think this guy's talking about God a little better than me. That's not what I want. Some of their messages are conflicting too. Oh, great. So at one point, Benjamin proclaimed that he was quote the true seventh messenger and Prince Michael an imposter. Now that didn't go over well. He's an imposter. He's an imposter. So yeah, that seems like that would be a detrimental message to the group. Yeah, so he is banished. Oh, okay. So all right, good run. So they want they they

wonder about for five years trying to figure it out what they're gonna do. They're searching for a mission. They're looking for a congregation. At some point, they move into the homes of two believers, the Peltins and the Mooneys in Ohio in 1899. That fellow Israel fellow Israeliites. Yeah, followers, Israelites and followers of his like they're super into his message. So he's a free agent and he's just looking for fans. Yeah, that's right. Okay, got it. He's got an email list. He's doing he's marketing. He's doing stuff. He's like Dane Cook in the late 90s, but with Jesus. Hey, yeah, that's right. Pelton said, quote, they had a team and a wagon and traveled around giving tracks, taking free will and offerings

for same. So tracks are like religious CDs handing out your CDs. Oh, it's very close. Alright, so it's like yours. Okay. Pelton was the first person to give over all his possessions to Benjamin. So this guy's like, you're so fucking good at God stuff. I'm gonna give you all my shit. That's how good you are at the God thing. And God just want you to have my house. Is it just that it's that he thinks he's so good. He deserves the thing is any part of it. Benjamin, Benjamin was like, look, we got to get the message out and we need money to do. I'm sure he did. He had a whole spiel. You know, the guys like, all right, you can have my house and you're right. Take my house. That'll do it. Take the dog. Take

the donkeys like the whole take the donkeys. But things went south when Benjamin and Miss Mooney were quote, caught having sexual intercourse in the berry patch on Mooney's place. You said take whatever I want. Okay, so he's so he's berry banging Miss Mooney under the moon. Because I mean, again, it is the I mean, it just shows you the human aspect of being a messenger of God. It seems like it's rules for everyone except for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like being a lifeguard who can piss in the pool or shitting it. Ideally. So this is they're living in this small town where the pelts and Mooneys live. And so this becomes a local scandal, right? And sure. After this, the pernell's daughter gets killed in a firework

factory explosion. Oh my God. What? What? So Benjamin, I'm sorry. No, I'm not going to let you jump ahead. There's not a worse way to find out that your child has passed. Like, you of course, you grieve the loss of any child. But to have someone come to you and be like, listen, Mr. Pernell, I have some terrible news. You're there's no way for me to break this to you, but your daughter has has passed on. She's passed away. How I know this is how how did this happen? Well, I want you to just kind of take a minute to process that it that it has happened because it is a tragedy. And I will tell you how. Well, by by fire. She burned. Oh, I know. And my God, how was how did she fire? Well, well,

when I'm saying fire, I mean, I'm not. I suppose you're probably thinking of a traditional fire. Yeah, like a house caught on fire. Yeah, it is. Again, if you need a minute, I can kind of hold back some details. But no, just let me have him now. I just rather get out of the way. Well, she was she was taking a look around a a a factory actually when the fire she worked there. Yeah, it well worked at a factory. Well, she worked at a factory of fireworks. So the way she passed away was that the fire hit a lot of the fuses. And again, if you want me to kind of just delay this, I have no problem. But all I can tell you is that the fire did not extinguish her. She was killed by Roman candles by bottle

rockets, by sparkler cannons, by snakes. Okay, twirly whirlies. Just don't tell me whistling Pete's were involved whistling Pete's just went through her repeatedly. She was. I mean, the truth is, if there were a breeze, she had whistled like Pete by the time it was done. I mean, she if she drank a cup of water, it is shot through her like a little little ones you throw in a box, you just throw on the ground and they don't have to light those ones. Bank snap, bank snap, bank snaps. Not those also hit her. I mean, it's hard for us to know exactly which one took her. But the one you the one you nail on to a fence and it spins around twirly whirly. I said the twirly whirly twirly whirly got her big

time. She was basically it was a combination of all of those firing at her. I mean, to be honest, I've seen fourth of July is that took less action than your daughter. Is she really weird way to put it? Well, I'm just trying again, I can hold back details if you like, but yeah, no, I mean, your daughter was basically the grand finale at a lakefront fourth of July Fest. If you want to think about it that way, they may as well have been playing God bless America, which by the way, some of the patriotic cannons shot into her too. So I mean, that's how she said she wanted to go out. I mean, she was 12, but that's what she said. That's not she. And then after that happened, she fell off a cliff set. What

the she was trying to run away from them. And then once she had been fully blackened and burned, she rolled out of there off a cliff. So we would like an open casket. Of course you and one you shall have one you shall have. Might I suggest we launch her? So she she must have been young because or, you know, in her teens, I think, you know, mid or mid to early teens. So she was working in the factory. Okay, I got that. Now you stayed true to her tail. Here's where it gets a little fun. Oh no. The pernells Benjamin Mary refuse to do anything with her body saying, quote, would be defiled if they went near her as she had gone to hell and that the dead must bury the dead. So she went to hell because

of fireworks? Yeah. Well, anybody who dies goes to hell has gone to hell. So I mean, it sounds like they don't want to spring for a funeral cost. A little bit. So it's part of we don't believe in funerals. Leave her. She'll go. It'll just take a long time. She's like Styrofoam. I'm not sure it's all. So where you die, you die. I guess like or other people going to hell do it, but they said the dead must bury the dead, which doesn't really work. So no, they want no expression of sympathy for the dead because that would acknowledge the existence of sins, corrupting influence. But here's the thing is grief. The local, the local people in the town are like, what in the fuck are you doing? Right?

And they thought the pernells are horrible people now because they now they can't even go down the street in this town without people just fucking yelling at them, them being mobbed. Right. Clean up your daughters. So they are at this time invited to join some flying rollers in Michigan. And so they go flying rollers is what took little Abbey. So they, he's not 41. They end up in Benton Harbor, Michigan. Now, Benjamin Benjamin says it's a dream because of a dream he had, but it was actually because a follower gave him land. Yeah, I was going to nobody's like, I want to go to the middle of nowhere in Michigan. Oh, I've been a dream about Benton Harbor, Michigan. Oh, so long. So he looks to look out the window and think

someday I'll end up in Benton Harbor, the big city, the big harbor. What a great harbor is America. So they move on hundreds of acres and establish the Israelite House of David. So that's his new jam. Sure. I'm also looking to bang wives as all cults are. Yeah. Benjamin was the seventh messenger who came to open the seventh seal and prepare the in gathering place for Israelites. So whatever, whatever that fucking means, the religion, but it's an end, end times, you know, right. So he promises followers that could attain immortality. So if you come and join his, his gang is called, I didn't give his daughter it. Yeah, right. So that's a, that's a good example of someone who didn't get it because they didn't try

hard enough. Right. Thank you. Okay. So he's promising immortality and people are joining because people want to be immortal. I don't, but yeah, people do imagine living in this time and wanting to be immortal. I'm like ready for like cold grip of death every day. So upon joining, you have to turn over all your possessions. Interesting. Total obedience. Good. There's very strict rules. Members are not allowed to cut their hair. I mean, again, God, God is weird. God is weird. Yep. Men can't shave their beards. Jesus. I mean, that's what he wants. He just wants a bunch of Jesuses. Yes, they all look like Jesus. Alcohol and tobacco are prohibited. No eating meat. No personal property. Any money they make working

goes back into the community. And sex is completely forbidden. Here we go. I mean, even between married couples, but that that does happen in these fucking whack-a-doodle cults where it'll be like, you know, like, I mean, that's just so crazy. Like I just can't. It's there's a hole in you that I'm not even trying to be sexual. There's a hole in you that nothing can fill. So you like believe that this religion quote unquote is what will do it because yeah, you cannot possibly hear this pitch and be like, yeah, this tracks this tracks. We're here to just like not eat, drink, smoke or fuck. And let's just grow beards that cover our genitals. Well, also, obviously, obviously, the guys always do this because they're like,

well, I want to be the only one fucking the ladies. Yeah. And that's like part. Gear three is always like, well, I'm allowed to bang everyone. I know it's stressing me out too. I have the God juice. God has said that I can fuck. He didn't use that word, but he's really into that. He thinks it's getting a little too boring here. So he took out a base and he said, I need to start fornicating. So Benjamin was called the king and Mary was the queen of the House of David. Not good. The community fucking explodes. Just people start coming and they're really into that. Sort of. Well, in a way, Benjamin and Mary to took a trip to Australia to get converts, which worked. This is kind of our story in

a way. There's a lot, a lot of it. The ceremony on the Australian's ride was covered by local reporter quote. Benjamin is of medium height, rather slenderly built and has an extremely fine face. His hair is of light reddish brown and hangs on his shoulders in long, silken curls. So he's a hottie. Yeah, but also it's like, if you're that reporter, let's not like, you know, give the vanity fair version. I mean, this dude is coming there to take people back to a non fuck drink, eat meat cult. Yeah. Yeah. Non fuck eat meat drink. Yeah. The only thing you're allowed to eat is your hair. You just like to scaredy everybody. Their land grows to a thousand acres. Now it's all, they're a ton of it's farmland.

They're harvesting fruits and vegetables. They now have what is considered the nation's largest farmers market. They opened a carpenter shop, a cannery, a laundry. They opened schools and hospitals over a dozen businesses, but this is, this happens. There always is a time where like there is a, there's like 80% that I'm like, I like a lot of it. But again, it's just like a time share. It's just like, Hey, come in. Now we're going to explain to you what insurance and you're like, Oh, for fuck's sake, like we're in the part now it's like laundry, schools, fruits, vegetables, farmers market health. So we got this land. They're making a lot of money. No sex thing still pretty hard, especially

for the young members. Sure. Look, Devon's boners poking through his beard. I mean, imagine being like a 20 year old dude or lady, and it's just no fucking time and there's other 20 year old dudes and ladies around like it's yeah. So they have to write down confessions once a month and put them in this box. And then the pernells and seven women disciplinarians would read them. They're supposed to stay secret, these confessions. But Benjamin was known to read confessions quote about sexual matters to young women who are ordered to shun the offending member. Creepy shit right away. Creepy shit right away. Right. Like he's reading sexual confessions to women only. Yes. And saying that guy's

a creep. Stay away from that guy. So he's he's like bringing up sex and he's like boner shunning. Yeah, so it's just another way to be like making sure they don't fuck other guys. Right, right. When a woman told Mary she had seen the pernells son making advances on a girl. The snitch was sent to another farm. Interesting. So I but I'm so curious because it seems like the rules would mean shun the the one yeah when the press on. Yeah. Yeah. But they have these they have farms that are like farther away on the thousand acres. Right. That's like oh that's like you know the isolation farm. Right. She got shunned of it. She got shunned of the gossip barn. Yeah. Right. Yeah.

They also did it with the girl that they're the family of the girl who he was flirting with. They all got shunned to the wait. What did we do? You existed now. Sorry. Sorry. Our son's horny. Get out of here. You go to the gossip barn. You had a pretty daughter. You go to the shame. Go to the shame property. One woman sued after leaving the cult to get her possessions back. Her statement said quote. Benjamin came up to this deponent and attempted to put his hand in front of her dress. When she resisted him she was moved to what was known as Far 80 the isolated farm. So they actually called it Far 80. Like. Yeah. Like it's far away. It's like 80 acres away. Yeah. And he like put his hand on her dress. And

I mean he's basically he's being he's being sexual. And then if you don't like it. Yeah. You're out. You're gone. You're out. If you go. You go. He probably he probably grabbed her boobs. I mean I assume in front of the dress. Right. Oh. Oh. Sorry. I see. I was picturing more like how a psychic median would be like. Okay. So yeah. Crazy. Women who accepted Benjamin's advances were moved into the central house where he lived. I mean again. It's just like. It's just. I don't think it's always the God. It is. It always is. It always goes from a guy. A guy who's like nobody can fuck. And then he's like coming up with his fuck brigade. Yeah. Always. All the rooms were occupied by young women. Mostly teens.

40. It's like our Kelly shit. It is. It really is. 100% our Kelly shit. He's like he's brainwashing and then he's like coming up with a tiered system of like and then you live in the house. Then you live into like his like prison house. Benjamin and Mary lived in separate rooms. The colony treasurer a dude had a key to Mary's room and was seen leaving late in the evening several times. So Mary's getting it on the side. He's got a whole flock. He's got a harem. Yes. He's got a hairy harem. Now stories are being written in local papers about the sexual activity. But the members didn't know anything about it because they don't get the papers. Right. Yeah. So they're just like. I'll tell you what. It's pretty difficult. But at least

he's sticking to it too. But man oh man. I got so much coming my beard from nocturnal emissions. I don't know what I'm going to do. So in 1909 a new mansion was built for Benjamin and the main leaders of course the young women and teens also. Right. He's now got so many that he's expanding. The girls were warned against quote pleasure seeking and selecting certain company and becoming thick. Jesus Christ. That is our Kelly shit. It's yeah I'm sure it's all all these cults are the same. They're like hey don't get fat. I want skin and and it's like also you know you create this environment where the absurd is normalized and it makes people feel I mean it makes people feel like they're crazy to

react how they feel because nobody else. Yeah. And you like build off of that. So all children are separated from their parents at age 12. Well that I guess the kids are not educated. That makes sense. Benjamin quote education counted as dung. Dung is more useful. I mean it's why you set up the fact that he had no interests in anything when that's your leader. Dung is more useful because it grows food. Sure. Yep. You know. Yeah. No. I love dung food. You know you're a huge dung man. I love them. Members ate. Now members are eating mostly just beans and potatoes. Remember they have a farm of all kinds of food. Who's going to want to fart machines anyway. And and the purdels are eating well. Right. They're eating

all stay everything. Yeah. Are they eating me living it up. I don't know if they're eating meat but they're definitely getting all the you know assortment of vegetables and fruits sure. Members had only the clothes they came in or made clothes out of flour sacks. Jesus Christ. I mean while Mary changed her gown six times a day. This is just not. I mean how do you not get fucking furious. We are basically talking about our government society now anyway where it's just like well where it's like you know sorry you've got to sacrifice pay that extra for gas. I'm sorry everyone it's so important. What are you doing. I'm getting another house built on my mansion. Okay. So she's allowed to change her outfits. Okay.

In another lawsuit a former member testified after she refused to walk with Benjamin arm and arm one time quote lots of times at headquarters he would meet me on the walks and slap me on the breasts. I don't think that's very becoming for a messenger of God. Yeah. No. It ain't. You know I mean what like how would you see this and be like oh yeah this guy's this guy's talking to God. This guy's talking to God. Look at him. I mean sure it's a little strange that he keeps hitting on my wife but you know I mean it's he wants to hold hands and if you don't then your penance is that he you know he smacks boobs. I mean this guy talks to God. This guy's definitely talking to God. Who in the fuck just smacks boobs

anyway. A person who has not been checked. You just need like one or two people to be like dude quit slapping fucking boobs. I chill chill chill relax. Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. So Benjamin took 20 of the teens on a sailboat trip to Lake Erie. I mean like creepy. Yeah a lot. So he's he came up with like a boot like a party cruise. Yeah. With teens teens and he's out there fucking. He's like 45 at this point. And he's fucking 50 ish. Yeah he's fucking. They took a trip. They took a bunch of teens on a trip to a carnival in Chicago. Same thing. Now Mary knows as do some of the trustees. So at one point Mary was reportedly said to Benjamin quote you are running a whorehouse. I mean like she's

not a hero either because he is sexually taking advantage of women but there's no benefit for the women he's taking advantage of at least in like a sex worker situation or a brothel there would be payment instead your payment is that you just fear of having your boobs slapped if you tell them to fuck off. That's right. By the way imagine seeing that group at a carnival just a dude with a beard that he's tripping over who's like almost 50 with a bunch of teens. I'd be like hey officer you want to maybe go over there real quick and I don't know like talk to him. We'll get to that. So he the reason he was able to do this with the teens is he told them having sex with him led to immortality. I

just I mean it's it was bound to get here. I don't feel like I'm going to live any longer after that. Matter of fact shorter. Yeah. I'll live less. Shouldn't it have lasted longer if I'm going to live longer. By the way when he finishes it sounds like a train breaking down. Just like. So the state attorney general learns and is told but does nothing. The idea is kind of like what's on their farm. It's their business. It's not their country. What are we to do. Fridge upon their lines. And then there's more lawsuits by X member members which leads to more accusations. And still the state's not doing anything. But just in case Benjamin had a tunnel built from his house to a vacant lot in case you had to make

a quick escape. So you are not allowed. I mean when you start a sex cult to some extent a very nefarious sex cult and you're building El Chapo holes. It's probably time to get involved and go have a look. Yeah. Look I didn't look at what God like have a plan for him. Like I mean wouldn't God be like don't worry I'll take care of you if they come get you. I'll take I'll talk to you. This is God. Can you. Yes. Dig a tunnel under your house over the Arby's. What. My Lord. Dig a tunnel. Dig a tunnel under your house over the Arby's. I really do it. Do you swear to God. This is what I'm sorry. Do you swear to you. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. Yes. Come up right in the Arby's parking lot.

And then this is God's plan. You sound a lot like Andy. Don't. Don't think about the voice. Dig the tunnel. Oh my God. And he should be in charge. And they pay him. He's under the sheet. Pay him a bit. Nice. Nice clothes. Quit talking. I can see you Andy. Per Simmons. He was like watermelons. You have. Stop talking. So. Yeah he takes a tunnel. And by the way he didn't take it right like someone else dug it for him. He was like this is an irrigation hole. And then he bought a fast car because quote someday the Gentiles will chase me like a fox. And I will need to get away in the old Godmobile. Okay. So. And by the way I'd like the license plate to read S X M C H and E. Just to throw the Gentiles off. C H C

X sex machine S. Oh sorry. I'm really bad at spelling. I think that's okay. I want Vanity Plates. I went to the I went to the door told me to get Vanity Plates. Sure. What about Fuckman. It's taken. Okay. So. Now. When there was an investigation that might happen when the local cops or whatever were like what's going on with this thing. They would take the witnesses who maybe had seen him around that girl and they would move them to places where they couldn't be found or you know squirrel them away on the ranch. He's also just got too much property. I mean he's like high like he's able to like see he's like come up with like I mean he's like come up with like divisions. I mean a thousand acres is a lot of. Yeah

but he's like he's like stashing like the naysayers go there. The witnesses live over there. Snitch house. Snitch house right there. So. One time they heard a mother was coming to take her 19 year old daughter home. So they married her to another member. Like a cover. But remember even so it was like a 40 year old dude but they're still not having sex. No they're not allowed because. Have you even read Bible three. I haven't read Bible three. I haven't read Bible three. Well it's handwritten. Really weird. OK. That just sounds odd. But yes. Each one's a little different. OK. So that's just a way of like and the mother's going to be like oh you're married to a man is totally inappropriate for you. OK. Well

they do have grapes. And now the mom doesn't have any claim to like she's like no is like that. She's wedded. So. So it's to cut. I get you. She like she's part of like the house harem. And this is the way of being like no she's I would never marry Frank. How could I. Yes Frank who's by the way hairs down to his mandals. Looks like cousin right down to his mandals. Right. Well yeah because because then you would just say I'm not having sex with her. She's married to Frank. Why would I do that to Frank. But what people from the outside don't know is Frank doesn't get to have sex with her. Right. Right. So they also had 54 women sign affidavits stating they were pure. Right. So they're stating their

virgins and they use these to hold against the women in case they left and said they had sex with Benjamin that he could go no I haven't affidated you stating that you were a virgin. Right. Tours. By the way you should start. You had me sign a piece of paper called an after David which I found strange when we started. Yeah. But it's a little different. The after David is a very sad place. That's true. That should be your show. You should do a show after the dollop called after David. So you pressure. I mean it is again. I mean it's just so like reminiscent of other shit. But yeah you see you get them to sign this so that if authorities come then you're like look. Yeah. I said I'd kill them if they didn't

write on here. So tourists are coming to see the farm and the deal like it's like a tourist destination a little bit because it's like a big farmer's market basically or because yeah yeah yeah yeah because it's a big farm like place and they're also a cult so they have long hair and it's like a thing to go see. Right. Then Benjamin decided to get into entertainment. So they built they built a zoo and an amusement park with baseball fields and they started having baseball games and by 1908 baseball became a big attraction at the park. Who's playing the game. Not that not the local. Well local and traveling teams would come and play there. So the local fields where they're great fields. They're really

great baseball fields. Hey I don't mind playing away games but you feel like these people are kind of weird. Look at the fans. Look at the signs that some of them are holding up. Help me. This is not what I signed up for. He's got five houses to trap some of us in. That guy has a sign that says I want meat. That guy's the normal guy. I mean if I had to pick a normal guy it's the I want meat guy. That's the fella. So so they the cult sees it as a way to recruit. It's just another way to get people there and and normalize it too. Right. Yeah. So a semi pro team was using the field for their home games and then when they finished the House of David members would come out and take the field and start

playing. And it's a spectacle. Right. It's these really long haired long bearded dudes which is a total deviation from the baseball player of the time who is super clean cut. Right. Yeah. Who can bat without getting his beard caught in it. That's right. And the House of David guys are good. They're good at baseball. I mean probably because like a part of it must be like if you're up to bat the catcher has to like open your beard and your hair like a beat like a beaded psychics room in order to like get the signal through. I'm saying fastball. Can he see me. Also you know if you've been around baseball very much especially with kids you can you can turn not very good players into adequate players

like practice practice practice can make a good a decent baseball player. So these guys were probably just practicing all the time. Plus they're the God team. They're the God team. Also Jesus wanted him to play baseball. That's right. Now Benjamin loves baseball so his passion for it is wearing off another members plus it is a distraction for these young dudes who are not fucking. Yeah they're probably batting with their dicks. The Detroit Free Press quote they had a lot of teenage boys with a lot of pent up energy. Benjamin noticed Benjamin noticed that they had some pretty good athletes. So they started a baseball team. It's also like if I were to join. OK. If I'm on a farm and I'm there because I believe

this guy talks to God and then we start a baseball team like legitimately I am definitely starting to go like this feels like it's like off track a little. This feels like he might be like I feel like he's starting to make up some of his own stuff and throw it in there. Yeah a little bit. Yeah. So in 1914 the House of David baseball team was put together. Now they already they already have a fan base from people who were just coming to watch them practice and after the games. Right. I'm so kind of getting over the name a little bit but OK. So I mean the House of David baseball team like yeah nothing straight here. Now batting for the House of David's Jeremiah Jeremiah. So so they already have fans because of the

people watching the practice. So barnstorming we talked about this in this page episode. It's when amateur or so semi-pro teams just travel around and play exhibition games and other barnstorming teams. So it's barnstorming is very popular. It packs fields and stadiums so that the team went out and started playing other barnstorming teams. Most of their games at first they were played on the Colt fields. Right. In 1916 under manager Francis Thorpe who is the guy who fucks Mary. OK. Oh right. OK. Right. It's her side action guy. Right. So he's the manager of the team. The House of David won the Baryon County championships which which means they could now join a big Chicago League. We're playing the Yankees.

What. So they're good. Yeah they're good. They're really good. It's all really championship. I mean it's just like if I mean again if you're just eating fucking beans and potatoes and you're just like you know it's just strange that they're now going to go play some games on the road. It's just I feel weren't we aren't we here because of God. What's it this kind of based around Jesus. I don't remember. I got to be honest. It's been so long. It's been a long time. I mean don't get me wrong. Obviously I'm a big House of David baseball team fan. Yeah I mean I love baseball. I just keep every time I watch it though I just keep thinking God I haven't fucked anybody in so long. I know. It's just really. I've been

fucking the Oregon that they play during the games. The what. The Oregon that they play take me on to the ball game in. How it. There's just a lot of pipes in it. Don't let's stop. Okay. Sorry. Overshare. That's cool. Yep. No huge. The Overshare was. Do you want to line the bean and a potato. I don't actually or either. All right. Not I don't want anything from you. I'm actually good with if you could put your Oregon in the Oregon zone. You still OK. All right. Hey let's pound it out. This bump this bump me. No. Come on. No. I'm asking for a pound. OK here's a pound. No. Here's a fist. That's right. Did we just sex. I'm finishing. So the first year the Chicago League did 17 wins and 13 losses. Now 35 members

of the Colt get drafted for World War One in 1916. Dude I thought you're going to say for the major leagues and I was about to run through my wall. OK. I don't think they have a draft back then. Well I'm just relieved. OK. So they're going off by the way like you got you got anyone back home. You're missing. Yeah. I was playing baseball on a farm with a guy who talked to God and I can't. I haven't been able to sleep with my technical wife. So I'm missing all them. We live on a thousand acre property. That's who I'm writing this letter home to. OK. You're just war. Huh. So they go to their training at a base nearby and Benjamin goes over there after a few weeks to remind them

that they have to sign over their checks from the military to the House of David. Hey he's come to say hi. He must have a message from God. Hey guys don't forget to put your checks in my name just to make sure we clear on that. All right. Good luck with everything. By the way don't let him shave you. God will be furious. OK. So further members who got drafted he's he married. So before they left for the service the cult could get dependent funds from the government. Wow. I mean just how just like God's plan. Yeah. This is how God planned it. Yeah. And and as you said they could keep their long hair because of their religion so they were in the army with their long hair. Now they just that drill sergeant

must have been losing his mind. I mean honestly. I have to ask you to please shave your goddamn hair and beard. You look foolish there. You are like a human curtain. My goodness. You are a troll. Look at you. This is crazy. I can barely see you all under here. We don't need carpets in these rooms because we have these five hippies in the brigade. I demand that you go clean the toilet with your locks. Do you want the beans. Oh my God. It's just they don't. How do you undraft. You're the closest thing to a woman I've seen in five years. Stop saying that. Drop and give me 20 if you're able to detangle yourself from your long locks. Fuck you are pretty. Oh my lord. Where's your rifle private. It's in

my beard somewhere sir. I don't know where I saw it earlier. Look they they also they can't be around dead bodies or dead animals. So nobody can die in the war for our religion. They do army jobs where they won't be around shooting and murder and whatever. So anyway the cult put together a women's baseball team at this point which went undefeated in 1919 just totally dominating opponents. Now a big reason for that was that six of the players were men. Okay. So you're combining a league of their own and ladybugs. They had long hair and so they put on dresses and passed for women. What is going on right now. What are you talking about. What like Dave I think we could just I mean let me ask you this.

Do we talk about God again. So what I mean what if you hear that. How are you hanging around. All right everybody listen just talk to God. So he's decided since a lot of the men have been drafted we're going to keep the baseball train rolling but we're going to start a women's team. But as some of you may have seen some of the women are still training and learning how to you know the basic fundamentals of baseball which is why we're going to shorn some of the men's faces and then you'll just wear dresses dresses and play as females. Okay. So that's pretty much everything. Oh and if I'm attracted to some of you fellas in the dresses who are playing I might move you to the main house.

Yes Dan. Wow you really threw me with the last thing you said. Go ahead you can ask a question about any part of it. I'm really really confused. Okay. What what part is confusing to you Dan because it seems like everybody understands that I just talked to God and he's decided we're going to start a women's team comprised of men. Does this lead to immortality is this part of the plan. In more what. Oh yeah yeah yeah it's a big part of this. Yeah yeah look again we are playing games to get into heaven. This is an evolving theory and plan. Okay. But every time I talk to God he assures me it is airtight. I mean you cannot find any problems with what I'm talking about. It's in Leviticus baseball

that's that this part of it is in Genesis at some part or some revelations at minimum. I don't think there was baseball back then though so. Well I'm talking about the hand written Bible the one I've written Bible three. Yeah sorry. Yep. Okay. I wish you about Bible three. Yeah it's a lot of it's a Bible three. So. Okay. As far as playing on the the women's team catcher Zeke Baschke explained quote it was a chance to play. So the house. I mean the house of David baseball teams were becoming well known for being very good and entertaining. They embrace their women are unbelievable. They embrace their looks and long hair and became known for flashy antics which became called the pepper game.

So the pepper game is insanely fast. Right now Dave I'm on the ropes and you're just giving me body blows. So the pepper game is insanely fast during warm ups they toss the ball back and forth to make it appear and make it appear as if it got lost in their beards and then like they're doing like tricky stuff with their hair. So they are a women's team comprised of some men. And no it's also a men's team. And men. Okay. There's a men's team. So basically now we've combined the baseball and globetrotting. Gareth some people believe the house of David inspired the globetrotters. Have a nice life. Yeah they do. People think that they're the God Trotters. Yeah. Okay. All right. Let's lock in. So when they would

run their waist length hair will be flapping behind them. So it's a whole spectacle like people love watching it. It's compared to normal baseball. It's like this is just crazy and fun. I get it. I get the spectacle aspect for sure. It's just again the man has a sex house. Yes. So by 1920 their popularity is going national. A headline from the midweek pictorial called them a quote long hair team that plays snappy baseball. The article stated pro players were now seeking out the house of David. So they're such a good baseball team that good baseball players. So Babe Ruth's joining. Hold on. The article stated pro players were now seeking out the house of David major league teams began to schedule exhibition

games against them. So they are playing like actual fucking like. Yeah. The house of David against the New York Yankees. It's a beautiful day for baseball. Ladies and gentlemen. Yes that's going on. Yes. Usually the major league team would lose. Nobody's asking quest what the fuck. What. Now because of their well the Cubs three the house of David eight because of their appearance House of David players could not play in the major leagues major leagues had a strict rule about grooming. They're in the fucking army. And since they were discriminated against for their appearance which was religion based. Negro league players empathize empathize with them and they began regularly playing the top Negro league teams.

Lots coming out. OK. All right. So. So. And in other words in the white man's baseball they alienated the black players so much that the God hippie team was like we actually figure you guys are kind of closer to what we're going through than the major leagues. Yes. Right. OK. All right. Yes. That's what you're saying. So they're just good. They're just a good everyone just has to accept Gareth being everyone. They're just a good baseball. And that means they're refusing. They're a huge draw. They're packing in crowds in small towns in big cities. I read that they they brought in twenty two thousand people to a stadium in Philadelphia like they sometimes because think about it. You're watching not just a good baseball team

but then they do all these crazy tricks like it's they're doing pepperball. It's it's the Globetrotters right. But the Globetrotters are good at basketball like amazing. If you're a kid I mean fortunately the senators are just seem they can get a good draft at some point. They really Democrats are senators. The senators but the Democrats too. So they sometimes spent months on the road occasionally playing two games in a day at different locations. And now they took out the seats of cars so they could all sit together in a group to discuss their game plan as they drove between games. They can't afford chairs. I don't think I don't think they can afford that many cars. So they were packing people

in by taking out the seats. I mean a crazy thing. And yet as far as the other things I've heard it's fairly innocuous. Throughout the early to mid 20s the team was arguably the most popular barnstorming team in the country. They had 70 men traveling usually by bus or in cars. Their popularity led to the cult growing. Of course of course it's just a walking. You guys accepted applications for players. Oh absolutely yeah there's just a couple things. Oh great yeah whatever it takes. OK cool. So basically you know we are a team that was founded by God essentially God kind of drafted us. We have we have what we have a thousand acres where we live in the middle of Michigan. There's no sex. You can't

have sex. Even if you're married you can't have sex. So even if you get married you can't have sex. What. Hold on. We live. We do not eat meat. There's no meat. It's mainly fruit and vegetables. Most of us eat beans and potatoes. Benjamin we think is having lobster dinners but but that's neither here nor there. You can't cut your hair as you can see the hair is a big thing. So let me finish. The hair is a big thing. The hair is a way that we connect to the Lord. He hates it. I'm trying to think if there's anything else. We play a lot of baseball. Yeah that's fine. Yeah that's pretty much it. Oh and you have to sign a lot of paperwork and the Bible's handwritten. So I'm just gonna try out for the Reds. OK

they're a great team too. I feel like they have the no fucking thing but either way whatever you want to do man. I don't think they do. Great to meet you. So. They're also making a ton of money. The House of David is making a ton of money. I would imagine. Yeah. Because remember all this baseball money is going to them and also the farm like to fucking roll it in. So yeah. Even though Benjamin and Mary are living luxurious lives members seemed OK living with as little as possible as they were passionate about the House of David and what it was doing. I mean if you're there and you're seeing this level of success I would I guess I empathize with being like I mean shit. Some good stuff like it's pretty

crazy. Yeah. Yeah. So then a member named John Hansel soured on the cult and he's been it for years now. So he was described by a judge as quote a less than average man a credulous fellow of limited intelligence. Can we just get to the verdict. Please. Hold on. I'm not done. John is a fucking moron. All right. Please. I do not think a man could be. Are you supposed to go to the jury. Isn't this like a jury part. There is a head vacancy which I would find criminal if it if it was actually a law and based on meeting John I think this is about a parking ticket. Is there any way to just go to the the jurors box. His simplicity is astounding. I am shocked that he is not a bug. Why is she writing this down. But he is

somehow a man walking and able to survive. Should my lawyer say something. I object. We object. OK. So John worked as a carpenter at the cult. OK. And after seven years. Nice. OK. Well done. After seven years John realized his six kids didn't have much of a life ahead of them if they remained in the cult. Sorry. After six years. Seven years. Seven years. OK. Yeah. Well six kids really really took a while to sink in that probably sucks for their lives. So the members tell you guys about fudge. It's not real. The members figured they realized there's something up with John. Right. And so they start there's a group of them and they start pretending that they're going to form a break

away colony. And they started bringing John into the discussions. Wow. And at one point someone said they should blow up Benjamin's house. This is like what the FBI does. Yes. It's the FBI. Yes. God. The entire purpose of he wanted to blow up your house. It was your idea. I was undercover. Wait. But what the fuck. The entire purpose of the discussions is to blackmail John. Right. Right. So on December 20th 1920 at midnight John and his family were forcibly expelled and threatened with arrest. Two local deputy sheriffs helped them out with expelling help. OK. And one of John's daughters was accused of theft. A son accused of having a weapon. John was accused of robbery, seduction, rape and conspiracy.

Wow. So they're just throwing everything they can in him. Right. To get him to agree to leave. Right. Yes. So he agrees to take $100 and his carpenter tools and then he signed a release saying the cult owes him no money. OK. Wow. Good Lord. But a couple months later John is pissed and he's like no I just got fucking screwed here. This guy kind of has the reaction time of a dinosaur. Seven years. I think this sucks. Two months later he's like that was actually bullshit. So he files a lawsuit to get back his property back wages and for damages. OK. Now at the exact same time two sisters Gladys and Ruth Bamford who had sex with Benjamin also sued after they left the cult. OK. And these two young

ladies knew a lot. They knew about finances. I don't know how they knew but they knew a lot of shit. Well because he probably is like he probably is getting I mean I mean at some point you get comfortable with like your level of insanity. So he's probably like playing it fairly loose at some point. Yeah for sure. And there if they're in that that main house you know. So between these two suits the attorney general of Grand Rapids finally decided to prosecute Jesus and Benjamin goes into hiding before warrants could be served. All right. I'm going to go in the tunnel God built. OK. So he goes into hiding. Yeah. Now Mary is now running the cult. OK. Interesting. And the lawsuits are going on over a dozen women

say Benjamin had sex with them when they were underage. OK. The attorney general now starts proceedings against the House of David stating it's not a religion basically. I mean that's just so it's you know it is very like the spectacle of baseball covers up like the heinous yes. Totally. I mean like I mean yeah it's like it's right. I mean it's like yeah. Well it's it's sports in our society right. How many. Yeah. How many guys totally get away with whatever because they're considered valuable entertainment. Well you have you have Kobe right. Yeah. Who people don't realize this but he in his statement he admitted. Right. That she could have believed it was non consensual. So right. He's admitting to it. Well there's

time there's there's there's Ronaldo right which I didn't know about until I came back to Manchester United and then people were like oh no he did this and I was like how did I fucking never hear about that because nobody talks about this shit. Well because you're you're lauded on a level of you know you're you're you are. I mean you're I mean it's really apt because it's like you are treated like a god you know. Yeah. Like you're your crimes are kind of swept under the rug because your entertainment value. Right. So so essentially the baseball team acted as PR to cover up for what. Well and again you're bringing in revenue. I know he's keeping a lot of it but it's like if you are bringing

in revenue people don't give a fuck. I mean think about I mean think about like the government with Saudi Arabia. It's like. Yeah. Yeah. The level of crime. I mean the level of criminality is beyond. But anyway. So sorry. Benjamin's at hiding. Mary's run in the cult. The lawsuits are going on. A. G. is now cracking down and the cult tried their group marriage thing again. Right. Where they marry people off. You know to. But this time it's by the way talk about a hell Mary. But this time it makes them look bad. Everyone's like what the fuck was that. Like it it doesn't help them. It makes them look worse. 80 people got married yesterday. So nothing weird is here. OK. So that's fine. 80 new couples. See you later.

The age. The attorney general then starts denying marriage licenses. OK. Good. Now John Hansel wins his suit and gets 24000. The papers all around are now printing any rumor about the House of David whether it's true or false or the paper sometimes just making stuff up like they're just selling paper when it flips it flips. Right. Yeah. Yeah. Reports of where Benjamin. Well was like people. Right. He's missing. So there's all these reports coming in. Oh he's here. He's here. He's here. He's under his beard. Most of the cult still back him. Most of the cult are still like yes he's our guy. He didn't even come out of hiding when his son died in 1924. But that makes sense because he's like yeah I don't have anything

to do with. Well that's also just like well what am I supposed to do. Bury him. You just leave him. Remember that's what we do. Leave him there. I fell. Don't worry. Do not move him. He will fade. He will go. Let me guess. Firework factory. It runs in the family. The best thing is that while in hiding Benjamin got sick with TB and diabetes. Oh wow. So now there's a split that forms between the people following Mary and the people following Benjamin. Wow. We've got to East Coast West Coast. Yeah we do. And so Benjamin orders all Mary's pictures removed from all over the property and replaced with those of his new main squeeze. So he's got like a new main girlfriend. And he has. If you're there. I

mean how are you hanging in there now. This is like a high school break up. I mean like at this. I mean obviously there are many red flags going on. Yeah. But at this point you're like it feels like he's kind of vamping doesn't it. Feels a little vampy. Now 640 of the flock back Benjamin and 120 back Mary. Wow. OK. Now it turns out Benjamin was on the compound the entire time. He was not on the run. Right. And he just hid in different places during raids. Right. Wow. It's that much property. Yeah. I mean it's thousand acres. So then on November 16th 1926 the cops raided and found Benjamin in his nightgown in a secret hiding place. Oh hello. I was just taking off my. Hello. What's up. For me. Nobody said

anything. What do you want to talk about. I'm always in my nightgown. I know it's too I'm in my 90. I was just putting my night creams on. It's my fuck clothes. I'm just putting my night creams on. Now the cops brought photographers along on the raid. So they took pictures up. Oh hello. Cheese. What's up. What are you all doing. Cheese. He had lost 80 pounds. He had to be carried from a car to the court on a stretcher by his followers for every appearance. Wow. That's quite a move. But but also like one of those things too where it's like you do try to like evoke sympathy. That's like when Harvey Weinstein forgot how to walk once he was on trial. Oh yeah. What. Yeah. He was like I now need a walker. I'm

an old man who doesn't know what it's like bro. No. It's like a yeah there's a lot of mobsters that do that. I don't know who I am now. Yeah. Right. Right. Yeah. So his his first wife showed up to court to say she wanted him to be severely punished. So she's still mad. Hello. Have you been what have you been up to me. Sit down. A bunch of the House of David people testified that he was awesome 22 women between the ages of 13 and 19 swore to their own purity and Benjamin's. So just picture this a 13 year old girl comes into court. Yeah. And says she's a virgin and then also says oh and so is that old man. Not at all weird and suspicious. Also the very the premise of like this 13 year olds a virgin

aren't you impressed with me. It's like no. That's not. No. Yeah. Virgin 13. Pretty. Who's working for God. Come on. Come on. So several doctors testified that Benjamin was too weak to fuck because of his diabetes. If you'll look at this X ray you'll see that he is clearly medically speaking too weak to pork. So. Yes. I concur. No bango from this. If you look at the shape of his spine here and his he's just there's no way this man could sustain any sex. No he's like by the way that's something we can predict in our medical science of today if a man could bang. So thanks for having me. Usually like I've answered all the questions. Thanks for having me. What's that. Usually we dismiss the witness. He doesn't say thanks

for having me. OK. Amen. I'm ready to go now. I'm done. Thanks for hanging out. The prosecutor is going to ask you questions. Oh. All right. A new buddy. All right. Hey bud. What's up out. You've got some stuff you want to toss my way friend. Good to meet you. I'm having a really I'm having a really good time. Thanks for being here. You shouldn't be. I mean I'm having a good time but it's nice to it's you know it's good to get to know you a little bit. So what's your deal. What are you. You want to ask me some stuff. I'll ask you some stuff. What's what's your favorite. No I'm going to ask you questions because you're an expert witness and that's yeah it's going to be. Can I at least ask you the last book

you read. Something recommendations. Do you have any book between two firms. It looks great. Great. All right. Now what do you got for me Jack. Do you like to fuck medically speaking. Yeah. OK my turn. So Benjamin took the stand wearing a quote huge diamond ring set in yellow gold that shimmered brilliantly on his little finger. So he's out of his but just that's the kind of shit you get rid of like he doesn't have someone is like you know there's an image that's right right. Like you would think someone would be like they'll think you're really like sophisticated but it's also like I think they'll probably think that you're really giving some money off the top. Yeah. He testified from a stretcher.

So he didn't take the stand. He took the lay. He took the lay. He was questioned about letters he had written calling Mary a wicked person and quote. She is a vulture and an unjust bird. Your honor he's asleep. Their broken relationship is now part of the official record. Right. Right. Right. And in November of 1927 the judge ordered Benjamin and Mary to leave the cult. So they're like you guys can't have anything to do with this because essentially it's a business. It's incorporated. So they're like you guys are out. You're fired. God fired you. You're fired. He was found. Benjamin was found guilty of fraud and his cult declared a public nuisance. The judge said Benjamin had quote the use of the sacred aspirations

of religion to gratify his lust. Yes. And then the cult was put in receivership. They had over a million dollars worth of you know property and stuff which for the time is a lot of fucking money. Yeah. A month later Benjamin Pernell died on December 16th in 1927 of tuberculosis. Wow. So he was real sick. Eight hundred cult members gathered around his body and stayed for three days believing he was going to be resurrected. Oh my God. It's like hands on a hard body. I mean you're just like that is fucking up. It's a log. I mean to be the first person to be standing around when you're just like maybe say 34 hours in being like hey can I say something. Yeah. I mean he looks really dead. No he's

coming back. I know. I know. And I believe me. I've been here for 35 hours. Believe me. I want him to come back. Don't get me wrong. But there isn't. I mean it's crazy to mention that there's a bit of an odor. I mean it feels like. Well it's gross. I mean it's gross. It's a dead body but he's going to come back. I know. But I mean that'll go away. The smell goes away. When he talks about that in the Bible they're not like oh Jesus fucking reeked. They didn't say that. He smelled fine. I get that. I get that. But like the fact that his eyes are oh I mean like we've been snapping in front of his eyes. Yes the eyes are dried out. I know. That's what I'm saying. Well we were shaking him a lot. I mean the fact

that because we're trying to wake him up. I mean that's what I'm saying. I feel like this is what I'm saying. What if we are wasting our time here and he never comes back. Like that'll just be. What if. What if your lack of belief is why he doesn't return. I'm not saying I want to go now. Then we have to stone you to death. I'm not saying I want to go now with eggplants. I'm not saying I want to go now and be egg planted. I am saying that it's just like why are we like what is the what's the hold up. What where where what is going on right now. It's supposed to happen after three days. It's supposed to happen to Jesus. Yes that's the guy this is all based on. He's like oh gee. I know but I feel like

wasn't he like behind a rock. Like this feels like sort of weird. He's on a gurney. It doesn't matter where he is. Nobody. Nobody realized he was going to come back. So I mean look at him. Look at his arm. Look what I lift his arm. Look at how fast it drops. It's not great. It's not great. Look at that. Look how fast. Yeah he's dead. Watch this. Can I just say this since we're saying that he's going to come back in full form. I'm going to break his wrist real quick. There. No no no no no no no no just look. There. There. Now what do you think. What do you think. Wouldn't you think that that would do something that wherever he is right now. Break his wrist. Now he's going to come back and have a fucked

up wrist. Wait a minute. So you're telling me that the guy dies and if I break his wrist that doesn't fix. So his heart regains blood pumping from it but his wrist stays broken. I mean come on guys at some point we need to fight the logic here. How do you. You don't even know what resurrection is like. Bones don't heal but other stuff does. It's a weird soft tissue heals. The hard stuff doesn't. Well I'll say real. I'll say I'm going to stick around. I'll say I'm sorry if he comes back. I'm just saying. Oh you're going to say you're sorry. He's pretty green in the face and the flies. He's dead. The flies are an indicator to me that there's not much going on. I mean the flies are a problem and we'll

have to do some sort of maggot wash out or whatever. But there's a lot of maggots. He's coming. He's coming. I mean when you lift up the rope like that's mainly maggots there. So I'm going to stick around. I'm not saying I'm leaving now. I'm just saying I'm just saying why don't you just shut up until you shut up until it comes back. Shut up. Shut up. Do we roll for like another day and a half and then come back like at three so we're not just no we're supposed to hang out here. What if he comes back early. Well then that's really unbiblical sort of to what your earlier point was. Oh you don't know. Look I'm not saying I want to go. I'm just saying devil's advocate. He looks really dead. I'm sorry.

I would love to go get some flapjacks. Yeah I know it's a turn of phrase though. I'm not saying I work for the go over to the buffet table. Look at this to risk. We have caters. Why do we have caters. So you can eat. I mean he just smells. I don't want to eat flapjacks around a smelly dead guy. So stand in the back. There's a lot. The back is packed. We're all it's not a comfortable environment. He just looks so dead. Like I've seen dead people who look less dead than Benjamin. You are so negative and such a terrible person to be around during a resurrection. Like I'm trying to enjoy the second coming. I want him back to listen to complaining. I want him back to for sure. Doesn't seem like it. I do.

I'm just asking some of the hardest. But I broke both his wrist when you weren't looking at snap that other one. How's he going to be able to do downward dog when he comes back. I really I keep assuming that his wrists are going to heal if he's got blood in his body. His soft tissue thing is news to me. Stop assuming. Why don't we should we just eat his heart. OK. All right. Finally. Finally. Finally. Finally. I'm just I'm just common ground trusted me. Finally. His heart with by your premise his heart will be OK. Here we go. All right everybody. Hey guys we're going to eat his heart. So let's play ball. Yeah. It's tossing around. So yeah. So they are all around the body. Guess what. It doesn't

come back to life. We could have been eating flapjacks a day and a half ago. So after three days they embalm him. Now the cult is split into cult split into two main divisions. It's still the House of David baseball team was not really affected by the sex scandal. They had a big baseball following while they increased cult membership. The popularity wasn't dependent on the cult. So they keep playing. Of course. In 1928 the House of David played 172 games and had a record of 110 wins 56 losses and six ties. They won two championships and nobody is. Hey they're based. You guys know their story. Not great. People just don't care what. Right. Of course. Whatever whatever it takes to get the best

entertainment. Yeah right. Francis Thorpe tries to expand the House of David baseball empire with the Michigan midgets. Dave I can't handle a House of David offshoot of players under five feet tall. They had enough players that they had an under five foot team. The poster that he made up said the House of David was to be the quote new home of midgets quote the teeny weenies in baseball. Dave David David David selected David from the fastest professional and semi professional clubs throughout the country. Little appution in size but mammoth in action. Dave please. I'm begging you please. I can't move on from teeny weenie. And it's hard. I mean. So they start a little. So now they're just capitalizing

on the little person baseball talent. Who's in chart. Like he died. Who's. It's just not OK. Just trying to figure out ways to make money. Now this doesn't take off the way Thorpe hoped it would. They may not have even played a single game. Just the promotion went out. OK. That was enough. Yeah. The House of David splits into two. Mary leads one and X California judge. H.T. Dewhurst the other. So he'd been involved in all the business stuff and he was like second when when Benjamin dies. And so he's he's got Benjamin's following. Right. Mary moves across the street and sets up her city of David congregation. Jesus Christ.

Now this led to a split with the baseball team to. So Francis Thorpe sides with Mary. So the pepper team goes to Mary. So Mary is another team baseball team and H.T. whatever is now in charge of the House of David David. Well. Yeah. So then now there's two separate teams. What. The baseball team is now divided. Yes. The baseball team is divided. It's almost like most is parting these pepper teams with Mary. The other team both teams use the House of David name for promotion and each claims to be the true House of David. So it's like it's like Gallagher or this has happened with bands too. Right. No I'm wine tea. No I'm wine tea. Right. So as the teams went on by the thirties the House of David was recruiting

other players. So they're recruiting players from the majors right. By the thirties they're so good. Grover Cleaver Alexander who's a big baseball player satchel Page played with the House of David for a bit. By 1931 they're with promoter Ray Doan. Three House of David teams are barnstorming but he's having them play in different areas of the country all using the same name. So people are thinking they're getting the original team but he's really just set up franchises essentially. I mean it's essentially a franchise but it's also not just a franchise because two are claiming to be the real House of David. Right. And the third is just an offshoot sort of franchise. It's I'm trying to think it's it's

like I mean it's just like it's like it's like a touring Rugrats show where it's just like you just need people to fill the costumes. Yeah. On September 22 1931 the House of David played and lost to the St. Louis Cardinals. The exit exhibition game drew 9000 fans. That afternoon the Cardinals played the Reds in front of 450 people. Wow. So that's how much more popular they are than they're just right. They're there. Yeah. And and again are from an abhorrent sex cult. Yes. An abhorrent sex cult. And by 1933 Grover Cleveland Alexander was falling apart. He traveled separate from the rest of the team and his wife drove him quote. Sometimes he couldn't get to games because he was too drunk. Sometimes he was

so lit up you couldn't get him out of the dugout. He was a nice guy but we couldn't depend on him. He only had to pitch one inning and when he couldn't do that we had to let him go. Yeah. So this is so not a god team. No it's not. Our pitcher can't our pitcher can't play. He's too drunk. He's too drunk. He's unfortunately. Yeah. The pepper game slowly faded away and they just started playing baseball. They're recruiting players who are not part of the cult. That started in the 20s. They they offered Babe Ruth a contract but he didn't take it. So there is a picture of Babe Ruth with a he has a beard on his with bearded players but that was a different barnstorming team called Lewis Murphy's Spring

Valley House of David. So there I mean it is that level though where you're selling fake beards and you have like offshoots of the original. No off teams. No. No. Right. Offshoots. These have nothing to do with the House of David. Right. That's what I mean. It's like parody teams essentially. Yeah. Right. OK. Yeah. It's like it's like someone saying trying to make money off of the name by saying that level of like it would be like we're the New York Yankees but instead the House of David. Yeah. But if the difference is like you can't say your House of David and he goes I'm Lewis Murphy Spring Valley House of David. It's not Gary Busey's New York Yankees. That team had that name because as time passed House

of David became more of a brand and a promotional gimmick. So other teams are just popping up different invitation House of David teams popped up and all black team named the colored House of David was playing. Jesus Christ. It is. I mean even the cult never had a black member but satchel page to play on the team. He played satchel page played on that team. No he played on House of David briefly but the cult itself never had a black guy. Yeah. So I mean they're basically just like every version that they could think to come up with. I mean teeny weenies that it's not again that's not I mean it's just it's just like oh I mean it's just I'm trying to think it's open season. Yeah. Right. You can literally just say you know

Los Angeles House of David Cats team. Right. Yeah. 100 percent which I'm actually thinking of starting to be fair. Do Hearst cult is rolling in money. They had a really beautiful hotel. They had the crops they had tourism. They had the amusement park annual incomes about a million dollars. Wow. Mary had a much smaller operation. She's had a hotel and a sewage disposal business. Jesus Christ. I mean someone had to get rid of all the bullshit I guess. That's so great. She's just handling shit. Yeah. Well she has but she's been peddling it for long enough. In 1936 the sex scandal had faded away and the cult was just only identified with baseball now. Oh my God. That is our love of sport. It's too much. It's

fucking Mike Tyson. Yeah. I mean all that. Yes. It's all that stuff. Do Hearst stopped sending out teams in 1940 because there were too few cult members left to give credence to the team with the House of David name emblazoned on the uniforms. I like the level of bullshit is off the goddamn charts but still he's like not enough of your originals. So we've got to play fair here. We've got to be honest. It's time to be honest for the first time. What if Benjamin Wates up now. Yeah right. Hello. How are you. Wow. My wrists. I'm famished and I need sex. Yeah. So Mary Mary's team keeps going until 1955. Wow. And that's because barnstorming lost popularities and the original players were all gone. So the baseball team

just kind of faded away and major league baseball took over baseball basically. Judge Do Hearst died in 1947 and Mary Purnell died in 1953 at 91 years old. Before she died she told her followers that Jesus would come back when the group's membership was so small it could fit in her closet. Right. She said that one day people would drive by and say quote that's where the house of David used to be. The pieces of business were sold off over the years to pay for members retirement. The baseball field was converted into a trailer park in the seventies. The house of both houses are still in existence with a handful of members. As of 2019. Who's taking in there. As of 2019 the city of David House was down

to two. A woman in her eighties and a man in his sixties. The park is still around but for now just a shell of what it once was. It's run by volunteers. None are members but generally support the religion. It's cause they get by on small donations and three dollar trade rides. What just happened. What happened was some dude wanted to fuck a bunch of young women and created madness. I mean total madness. That's all it is. I mean that is so crazy. Every single cult and unfortunately you know I kept getting the suggestion and I was like oh it's a it's a it's a cult baseball team but I always forget. Every cult started by a dude is about fucking young young women or girls and every cult

started by a woman is about murder. They always are. It's it is. It's like I mean there's just so much that just happened in this story. So it's again I mean the idea that religion is ever a lot to you the ability to do these sort of things is so at some point you just need to be like I mean but you get that with preachers too. Like you think of like the fall wells like you know that whole thing was just like you know you must do this you must do this and they're just fucking dirtbags. Nobody talks to God. What. You get it with comedians too. Yeah. And but athletes too. I mean how many comedians right now. Dude I think about that all the fucking Christa Lee is and all these guys are out there just

trying to fuck young. Well and but I mean and also you know people are forgiven for what they do because they provide entertainment and that's why like that's a big part of the reason why I'm not going to watch the NFL next year because it is the same shit where it's just like you know it's not like your support of it is it's just part of the machine that again the product is so good it's so fucking entertaining but what you sacrifice for it is just kind of bullshit and yeah it's not cool so you know they they just allow whatever to happen and if people aren't furious enough then that player is going to be back on the field or that team is going to be allowed to do what they do and you know they're you're

allowed to do it because of revenue and it is just yeah it's just kind of fucking horrifying and continues to be that way. Yeah it's a real it's a real weird part of our society that that we just are fine with mass criminality as long as well yeah and I mean like you know it's it's it's sports government it's like you know I mean when people when people you know you cannot come up with a worse set of individuals than the people who are like at the helm of government and yet we still are distracted easily. Well I would say maybe Hollywood but yeah. Yeah but I mean you know obviously fuck a lot of those people but you know when you talk about like the you know ruining of land and environment and not giving a fuck

about people's rights and all that shit like you know people are elected to preserve and honor those and we've just lost the plot so far on that that there's just none of it and so there's just no accountability for anything right no not which is just what gets which is why people are just kind of like whatever fuck it I'm just going to support these things because what are you going to do I'm going to vote for the less worse party I'm going to watch whatever the fuck it is and and I understand why people get like that but it is also I mean it's it's a very very very very big problem. Yeah oh yeah it's a huge problem. Anyway what just happened. It was a baseball story. I mean I don't know what

that one was like if you wrote that movie script people be like it's I mean this is the length of glory this is how do you. Yeah man. There's no you imagine trying to put that in like a movie tagline. One man sex cult became the Harlem Globe Trotters of base. No. A man who lied about God was a total deviant sick. Teeny weenies the story. No no sorry wrong wrong wrong. Wow. We tried. We tried and failed. Story by Ron Pocone and me. The House of David baseball team by Bert Bertolino Terry and Joel Hawkins the free free.com Israelitehouseofdavid.com Venture Purnell and the House of David by K.Y. Carter baseballhaul.org Chicago Tribune WBUR the righteous remnant the House of David by Robert Fogarty.