The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 527 - Steven Seagal - part 2

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine movie action man Steven Seagal. Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch

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American History podcast where each week I, surfer, wearer of sweatpants, maker of love Dave Anthony, reads a story from American history to my friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Really? I'm glad that's back and I'm glad that you've had time to work on your three things and that they're they get more. The people asked for it. Could you provide evidence of the people asking for it? Is it possible for me to see an email or a tweet? The petition? Yeah, is it possible for me to see the petition? Yeah, no BuzzFeed started a petition. BuzzFeed? Yeah. BuzzFeed is a news online

situation for news. They're very good news. They found that a lot of people were, as they said, missing something. You don't need to go through all of it. Just some documentation is all I'm asking for. Just some evidence towards the fact that there was a petition, your words, asking for you to come back with these three things that are listed in your character type. It was described as an emptiness in the heartland of America. So I have to, as you know, I'm a people pleaser and I respond positively to any sort of criticism of the podcast. No, there's a lot. If I may just jump in quickly. If you ask the

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it's a top, Timothy Topp podcast named best of Apple in 2018. He has on guests. He interviews people, super fascinating people, gets them to tell secrets and share their skills and tell their stories. Very in-depth conversations. And these people are all at the top of their game. And he turns their guest wisdom into practical advice that you can use. One really cool thing that Harbinger does is he has episode starter packs. So there's like collection of top episodes organized by popular topics. So you just go like disinformation or activism or resistance and revolution, communication, cult scams, all different stuff, just a

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come back, we're gonna be ready to party, okay? We like to party and we will be in North America. We will be at May 12th, the Wilbur in Boston, May 13th, New York City, May 14th, Washington, D.C., May 15th, Philadelphia, June 2nd, Madison, June 3rd, Milwaukee, even though it still doesn't say it on the website, just as Turner Hall Ballroom. June 4th will be in Chicago. June 5th will be in St. Paul. June 17th will be in Seattle. And June 18th will be in Portland. Isn't that exciting? You left out when we go to the Turner Hall ballroom. Right. Sorry. We'll be in Milwaukee at the Turner Hall ballroom. I should point

that out. I think it's just Turner Hall ballroom. I don't think it's actually in the town. Right. I'm sorry. And not a lot of people know that the theater has seceded from the city of Milwaukee. So we will be in an area in Wisconsin called the Turner Hall ballroom. Very excited. And then, Dave. Legal free zone. There's no laws there. It's a lawless zone where we plan on, yeah. I mean, let's be honest. There's nine months from now, there's gonna be a lot of dollop babies. Not just from us. Just. Yeah. It's happening. Okay. A lot. In Australia also in April, Dave. I will be there doing stand up. I will be in

Fullerton, which is near Adelaide. Celebrate April 21st, April 22nd. I'll be in Melbourne. The 23rd also Melbourne. May 4th, I'll be in North Bridge, which is Perth. Then I'll be May 5th, Brisbane, May 6th, Sydney, May 8th, Canberra, May 16th. I'll be back in America at Lutherville, Timonium in Maryland at Magoobies. Don't say word, Dave. May 17th, I'll be in Washington, D.C. May 19th, I'll be in Virginia Beach. May 20th, I'll be in Brooklyn. June 8th, I'll be in Oxnard. June 9th, I'll be in Irvine. And then June 12th, I'll be in San Diego. Go to Gareth Reynolds.com for all ticket information and nudes. September 1992.

Year of our Lord, Jesus Christ. So we and and you just told me before we started this, the I don't know if it's good news or bad news. It expanded, but we three parts now. The Steven Segal episodes are now a trilogy. That's a trilogy. I didn't think that was gonna happen, but. Okay, so where are we? Okay, yeah. Where are we left off? Steven Segal now a bona fide action star. He's just had his biggest hit under siege. He's making 16 million dollars a movie. He had he has a huge house above Sunset Boulevard. He owns a ranch in San Ianes with the winery attached. He got and then he got what every big star

covers, what every big star wants when they first hit it big. He landed the hosting gig on Saturday Night Live. Oh my God. I completely have blocked this out. I must have watched it. Everybody has Steven Segal Saturday Night Live. You can't watch it because they've removed it from everywhere. Wow. It's scrubbed. You couldn't find it anywhere. There's there's a couple sketches. He walks in the first day and told the writers and actors he had never seen the show and didn't know what they did. It's a good vibe. Good. Imagine living in America and having act just act like you've never seen Saturday Night Live or really heard

about what it is. It's literally a possibility. But again I mean when you're living this Eastern lifestyle no matter where you are you know he swears off cultural regularities like that. I mean he's not this is not a guy who's had a hot dog or knows what it is. This is a guy who's spent his life you know throwing people really far for millions of dollars and and that's what happens when you live your life as a dog in a dojo. That's true. Now you make a good point. Thank you. During the week he was very critical of the cast and writing staff which is really helpful if you want to get really funny stuff written. Well he

was probably like this guy's working on punching this Dave Anthony sketch up all the time. Why doesn't he focus on the show? Yeah. Yeah. It was the first David Spade. It was David Spade said it was the first time that there was ever a discussion of just getting rid of the host and doing the show with the cast. Wow. Many people so many many many people who have been on Sign Alive as actors have said he was the worst host ever. I mean they've had Wayne Gretzky which is a dark episode. Yes. Yes. So that's saying something. Julie Sweeney said Steven pitched a sketch in which he would play a

therapist to a rape victim. Oh my god. This man is not ready for prime time playing. And then the comedy part is that as a therapist he hits on her. Oh my god. I feel oh my god. I feel bad. I don't feel remember I told you the second the second part would be the dark night of the soul. Oh it's just not a good start. I mean do you know how fucked up of a human being you have to be to pitch that as comedy. I mean well you know what like because I I listened to our first episode the really the stuff you were saying about the women assistants who worked for him and the one where she's brushing her teeth and he's

like I can't get over that moment where he's like that's what it looks like when I come in your mouth because it is it's it's it's not I mean again it's just disgusting it's wrong but it's also it's not there's no charm there's no it's like it's just a horror it's just so graphic and that's like the same it's like another branch on the tree of just disgusting where he's like but here's the twist I'm trying to fuck her what does everyone think for lunch I can order some Japanese food for us in Japanese if that is what everyone would like you all aren't laughing so hard at my rape therapist sketch for some

reason I think as we go through this episode you think back to the toothpaste you'd like to have my coming amount and that's not about humor or whatever that's about power right that's not making someone feel bad working on me so far at one point Steven was pitched to be in a Hansen Franz sketch and he told Bob Odenkirk he would only do it if he could actually beat up Hansen Franz at the end it's only funny if I win that's how comedy works I mean well the whole thing you know the truth is the whole thing about being a host on SNL to some extent is the ability to poke fun at yourself

especially if you're void of talent so then he's not going to do that so and of course it's gonna be an uphill battle trying to get hit that's right to to accept himself as lower status or anything yes right the last sketch of the show is one that Steven wrote Bob Odenkirk said it was eight minutes long Steven brought in a bunch of stuntmen who portrayed the Exxon board of directors and so people tuning in just see a bunch of people who are not on the show right sitting around to start the sketch no one recognizable right and then Steven enters at one point and just beats them all up okay so well Dave dare we say

that while not funny while not representative of the design of the show the plot is pretty good beating the shit out of Exxon executives well the one thing we can say about Steven Seagal that are the two good things are that he he truly believes that we should save the environment and he also very much wants to help animals those are the two things we can say about him well he probably saw like a seagull in like an oil spill and he was like those are my brethren I am Steven Seagal get the oil off of my brothers so he beats up all of the Exxon I mean we're talking about throwing people through doors sure onto

smashing tables that whole deal sure and then at the end after he's beaten them all he turns to camera and says quote this is what happens when you pollute the planet and then the end comes up funny and that's funny that's the end of the sketch it's funny it's definitely funny and then he's just on the stage like hey thanks everybody it's Steven what a great night this is unbelievable I want to thank the cranberries well the reason they put the end up in a Chiron which they never do inside alive is because nobody knew what had just happened you mean they didn't show they didn't show the stage the stage is up

there and then up on the screen comes the end well so you at home know it's over because nobody fucking knew what was going on they should have probably also had the start at it too just to be clear like oh this is not an accident I thought the cameras were maybe potentially accidentally rolling on this okay sounds like a winner even was a Steven wise and I believe is the only person banned from signing that live for being bad wow again Michael Phelps Wayne Gretzky there's a list yeah there's a list so around this time a campaign manager in lobbyist in New Jersey received a call

from Steven now they had met once in 1988 in Atlantic City at some party where the only exchange to Lowe's that was it and then whatever three four years later he gets a call sure I'm gonna call him he's a campaign manager I'm gonna call him the CM because he wanted to remain anonymous he never said his name okay this is an interview I found in the Baffler magazine which is a really good magazine so he doesn't interview with the Baffler this guy and he explains what happened with Steven so out of the blue Steven calls the CM and Steven asked him to come to LA to meet because quote I'm looking to do something in the

way of politics hmm interesting the CM is like well before I come out we need to discuss trip expenses and all this and Steven just goes how about $50,000 well he's so heat to him the lowest denomination of money is $50,000 he sees no other like that to him is that to him is as low as it goes every I mean seems like he's made us so much money so I guess it's just like his go-to but again he is throwing around $50,000 briefcases like their $2 tip he he's flying a guy out for a fucking couple of days or just a meeting about $50,000 yeah okay for sure yeah absolutely I'll definitely yes yes yep we don't even

need to negotiate that so the guy flies out and Steven has two very very large breasted women and meet him at the airport sure as one does that's yep regular and then they take him to the take him to the limo and he gets in the limo with them and they're not even driving they are merely just there to greet okay so there is a separate okay they're greeting ornaments basically right right and he's asking questions and they just like that's not Steven so he gets to the office and they sit down and Steven says quote you know politics should I get my hands dirty in it this could have been a phone call sir and

save yourself a lot of money these fine women here did not need to waste their day you didn't need to get me a limo okay so the guys like why would need to see some polling numbers and Steven has a file he says if you open this and read it then you're in if you if you don't open it if you walk away that's it but once you open the file you're on board this is called the Morpheus of politics you either the pill or wake up tomorrow and everything's the same so the guy opens up the file Jesus and shows the poll the polling results that he's done to the CM and the CM looks at it and he's on board he's like these are good

numbers apparently Steven has a legitimate chance but and winning a political race guy doesn't know I'm guessing is that Steven's whole life is built on a foundation of Fibri and lying so the connection to reality is probably let me finish is probably not there because he's probably going like you ever seen poll numbers this good 99% every in every city and the guy's like oh my god god you're either a psychopath or this is amazing okay it could be it could also be they were real poll numbers but you're right it probably not real okay the guys on board so he immediately is like let's go Steven sends him that

day to a condo he had rented in in to hunger okay to hunger is next to my town it's it's way outside of LA yeah it's Trump country like it's just over the hill Trump country sort of rural-ish but part of Los Angeles there's nothing there he has a reason for it he says he wants everything done quietly and so he Watson working somewhere where there's no show business and no politics you're at the in to hunger where nobody will believe that this is happening plus saves me a little cash the CM hires a staff 16 people Jesus the staff agrees to keep quiet when they hear that it's Steven's a gall and they there's their

headquartered in to hunger that's where the campaign is headquartered base okay correct Steven wanted the polling to focus on his appearance specifically his ponytail bless you Dave how I okay our politics are vapid and have no real purpose any longer however that's correct I still would think it would I in 10 15 years I think maybe the ponytail could be the focus of a political ad but it seems like a hard feature to base your campaign upon hey this is Steven Segal's ponytail and I approve this message no that's not that's not what's going on he wanted to

know what voters thought of his ponytail so the CM took two photos quote I had an artist retouch the second photo to make four more pictures where the ponytail was for different lengths what in God's name so he's got ponytail policy they're doing polling based on how much people will vote for him based on his ponytail length that first one is it's shorter right and we all feel pretty good about that now the next one I'm going to show you guys a lot longer this is twice the length we like this more or less or about the same what is everyone I like that it's longer I feel like it's good because it's more distinguished I also

like the longer version of the ponytail it feels like he shows that he's committed to his vision you know no matter what anyone says or thinks he's still sticking to a longer ponytail I'm disgusted by what I see you're doing a comedy bit that is exactly what fucking happened and I only alright I'm just for just for fun to try and call some more bullshit is he behind a mirrored fucking window watching all this good like what at one point he was watching oh my god he's watching his ponytail focus groups they took the four they did kill the old lady photos they what okay right okay they did surveys with the four photos and then

they determined like women like his pony women between like 25 and 40 like his ponytail the way it is men between 35 and 50 don't like the ponytail younger people like the longer point yet like they literally broke it down all the polling gosh on how people would vote for him politics is so hard because you can't please everybody with the length of your ponytail it's right Steven can I ask you where you stand out abortion not right now let's nail this ponytail thing down first we've got to get this right so it's all broken down by demographics who wanted what ponytail length the plan is to run Steven as an

environmentally friendly Republican against Diane Feinstein in 1994 for the US Senate seat I could have been worse and to use a speech his character would make at the end of the movie on deadly ground as his stump speech for the campaign now this this is when on deadly ground is just a script and it is now it the speech in on deadly ground is famous for being ridiculous because it's like eight minutes long and he's talking longer okay and it's just originally 14 minutes and it's in the script it's 14 minutes and he's just talking to camera right or no he's talking to someone in the movie he's giving a speech to people

okay but the movie is cutting with montages of you know you know you know environmental yeah stuff so this is his stuff he's like his plan I've already written my stump speech it's a character's speech it's a monologue but by the way what I mean it's all absurd but not too far removed from politics okay now we're getting somewhere okay their internal numbers said with a four inch ponytail he could beat Diane Feinstein 53 to 47 shut up what is happening is the CM like what am I doing this is not I Steven so the good news is if your ponytails four inches you're a lock boy that's tough to commit to though huh yeah

no it's certainly gonna be tough but anything else you lose independence so the the that's a minimum right that's a six point that's the minimum they thought they give they thought they could easily be here by ten points based on their polling if you grow a few minutes you and let it touch your butt I mean we're talking a landslide Steve have you thought about bangs the reason he does not run is because very very rich guy Michael Huffington entered the race as a Republican also and he was gonna use seven million of his own cash in the GOP primary and Steven only wanted to use two million of his money so he didn't

think he could match him so he decided not to run now at the time the CM said Steven was considering running in 1996 quote and if he wins I don't see what would keep him out of the White House in 2000 I mean after knowing how 2000 plays out we are talking about it back to the future to timeline where Steven Seagal had a probable chance and after knowing how 2016 played out oh god I mean you could run I think Steven Seagal could run now and probably you know pull well I made it well obviously depends on the length of his ponytail and weird shoe polished goatee

imagine like getting like going to school to learn about political campaigning and then finding yourself in a to hunger Motel 6 working on polling data for Steven Seagal's ponytail just like is it always like I've never worked on another camp knows my first one where they've worried about the length of the ponytail for sure this is my third campaign and this has never come up before so it's not always like that so I feel like we dodged a bullet because who knows who knows what could have happened I mean I feel like we've also been riddled by bullets maybe Steven's next movie was on Deadly Ground which is the movie we're

just talking about an action you know martial arts action film with an environmental message sure it originally had been titled Rainbow Warrior but changed sure the reason it was made because Warner wanted an under siege to so they agreed to let Steven direct on Deadly Ground as part of the sequel deal he's directing I mean he he really does have no like I mean there's no charisma to him it really just does show you how stupid especially in the 90s the action film genre was but even then you know the the gumption to feel like you can also direct these things after having just no except I mean he was just

like a liar and now yes not only starring in these movies he's writing them he's directing them and they're fucking succeeding miraculously well let's not say that about on Deadly Ground on Deadly Ground is a bomb okay oh yeah around this time it becomes widely known in Hollywood that Steven is packing heat everywhere he goes you mean shitting his pants when someone puts him in a head that's correct right that's correct I was watching a video and and someone asked Chuck Norris what they thought of Steven Seagal's fighting ability and he was like well he carries a gun like that's so what do you think of that well then

let's let's say this and I went to Jill Rogan for this because I believe this is one of the only areas he actually has expertise but he talked about Akito is that what it's called that that he does it's not it's not it's not an actual it's not something you would use in hand-to-hand combat it's basically it was created so you could you could fight someone who has a sword and take the sword away it's not it's why it's why there's no Akito guys in like UFC it's not an actual applicable martial art to you would get kicked out of you by a judo guy or whatever else it's not it's not like a fighting martial art so but

if you see a guy with a sword now you're now it's go time now you have the sword yeah so a studio executive told Vanity Fair Steven usually had a colt 45 and or a browning 90 millimeter on him quote he always wore coats that had longer backs he always had a gun if not more he often had to yeah it doesn't speak well to a martial art expert to be does not does it no but again he got put in a headlock and shit his pants so that's probably like absolutely he's been hurt one time Steven showed the exec a knife made out of a material that he could take through an airport through airport metal detectors Steven was also trying to

get a permit to be able to carry a gun on a plane I mean he'd like it again because it's so meteoric it's see like he is his character and because his like his world is so blended with bullshit it's now kind of bleed like the theatrical stuff is now bleeding into reality further for it 100% a stylist who fitted him for a tux for the Oscars said quote what is he doing at the goddamn Oscars I mean what was like well if you have a hit movie out you get to go to the Oscars it doesn't even fucking matter what it is you're going to the Oscars Steven you hope to be nominated someday

yes myself probably getting two to five different Oscars he probably thought he was gonna get an Oscar someday I've undeadly ground will be the one that I win the Oscar for probably I do a 30-minute speech at the end that's directed to Exxon it's based on a sketch that I ruined Saturday Night Live with so so I had to tell her the tux around two giant guns he said he needed cover in case they rushed the stage on him who they were I have no idea well it sounded absurd until two weeks ago when you know anything could happen that's true would have changed the vibe but also I I really do feel I mean I guess

tuxes are tighter but it definitely feels like you could hide guns in your clothes but he's needs to be special yeah tuxes are tuxes are tighter it's probably a little more difficult so I need you to take out the chest a little bit because I'll be packing heat at the Oscars you never know what's gonna happen at the Oscars I might need to kill some people I mean if someone wants to kill me that's the best place to do it isn't it I'm gonna win an Oscar by killing the best supporting actor a studio exact as Steven why he needed to carry a gun and he explained quote they're out to kill me all right awesome

to catch up with you buddy good to see us even so you seem fine and normal thank you to thank you buddy and now at this point no by the way no follow-ups are the right move there you don't want to like you know you're like okay we're just I'm gonna graze other pastures for a little while well at this point the execs are mostly laughing behind his back they think he's just fucking ridiculous right now for a while Steven has been telling people he received a sponsorship to live and train in Japan with Aikido's founder I'm at a butchered for mohai Ushiba so he's telling people that he went to Japan because this guy

invited him right the founder of the Aikido but remember he followed a girl there right yep also another problem is Ushiba died in 1969 before Steven went to Japan and when he was like 15 mm-hmm and you're saying he would have had to go without his parents mm-hmm study Aikido so this so this guy basically plucked a young Steven Seagal randomly from Fullerton and was like I need you here right sure yeah okay seems fine it sometimes sounds like Steven is Fullerton of shit well sitting execs at this point are just weary of the spy liar guy act everyone's just like okay dude but at the same time he is asking for more

creative control from studios in the movies that he's making he has ideas for films he has ideas sure he had written a script about AIDS Philadelphia they ruined it they noted me to death it was about how I know in the in the movie I study the art of Aikido and I'm able to defeat AIDS by shrinking myself into a cell and then I go into my own body and I'm able to get my white blood cell count up again so it's pretty good what I do is I go into my own body and give AIDS a briefcase of $50,000 and it leaves me alone it it's about how the CIA created AIDS to eliminate gays and blacks oh my god it's it's I mean like there's there's

like it's it's I'm so torn in an odd way because part of me is like I love the first of all he says he was ex CIA so the fact that he is this keyed in on those thoughts is I mean I'm into that plot I don't want to see Steven Seagal make that movie because no doubt it will be horrifying and in the worst taste possible yeah well for sure like it wouldn't there's no way it could be worse well it's called CIA AIDS they passed they passed on the eight script what's weird what if we call it's the gates so one day a studio exec entered his trailer and found Steven openly weaving he said quote oh I'm reading a script it's

the most incredible script I've ever read and the exact asked who wrote it and Steven said quote I did which I I had heard before under different but that is yeah this is the most plausible thing that we've heard in both episodes well and what I like about it too is it's not he walked in on him weeping he didn't come in and then Steven started to weep the guy was like hey what's going on he's like I just huh I've just read the greatest thing I'll ever read my god who wrote it I did oh god I'm good I'm so good at this it's a movie where I defeat Lyme disease so now the guy that Steven was living with on statin

island Jules Nassau right the guy who was the guy who owned the house that Steven lived in right that yes that guy's still around but is he's not still living I mean he's now like the one of the biggest movie stars so he's not still living in the pool house yeah yeah now I believe he's out in LA and living there but right but so is they still are they're still are working together the guy's been you know a producer on his films and sure well I mean chemists are often the ones who come up with the creative yeah so Steven starts a production company with Jules Nassau they made on deadly ground

together and in the movie Steven's black outfits are now gone and he's now wearing dark purple robes and saffron yellow satin jackets I mean that is he's got a lot of like Native American type-looking westerny can I can I just Google what this looks like a little bit so it is he's wearing purple satin jackets it's pretty standard to go where to this day yeah it sounds it's it's all it's it's a bed ever so it kind of sounds like what a wizard would wear okay it's actually I believe a little Tibetan influence right it looks like Hollywood Tibetan yes right which is what he's going for I haven't taken a look at him

in a while and my god yeah the man it's crazy in the movie he has a bunch of Native American women do a traditional Native American dance okay which is what they do like it's a it's a true oh they're completely naked which is not what they do for a second I was like okay that's that's kind of nice and then I'm sure that's how he pitched it you know he's like it's very important to me that Native Americans are represented properly in this film because this film is my love letter to the planet and how we are abusing it and I want you all to be a part of it so I'm not even going to ask for choreography I want you

to tell me what a traditional dance would be you self choreograph and then whenever you're ready bring it in and we'll film it and I want to see your bushes while you do it but what it's important to me that you're completely naked when you it's important to me that you all are we have a traditional great dress that we a traditional okay so okay but you have a dance too it's part of the dance that the actual clothing you wear this is part of the traditional excellent so you have the dance you're saying yes yeah yeah we dance but with traditional clothing okay so take the clothes and throw it in the

bonfire that I'll have made outside come in when you're ready I want it's important that you're all nude and we will present to camera and the only thing I ask is that a couple times there's shots where you all bend over to to grab some stuff even if it's just your ankles it's important to me that you are the white culture in this country has taken so much from you and I would again this is this to in many ways is an apology to not only the planet but to the people that have had the land stolen from them and it's important to me that you will have no pasties on your nipples and that the scene will be about five minutes

and it'll be you all dancing naked so please accept that as an honor you don't need to thank me I realize I'm bestowing a privilege upon you but this is this is how I direct this is how I write this is how I act I lead with kindness and it's just important that you're all completely naked and at the end one or two of you will be banging me the character me whose name Steven in this Steven Seagal in this movie he gets banged by you again this is a it's my way of thanking you all sure so and then lunch isn't free come having had so the movie in the movies Steven's character saves Alaska from an oil baron the

speech at the end of the movie was the one he wanted to use as his actual campaign stumps speech it was about the environment and spirituality it was 14 minutes long and the studio cut it down to four and it's still considered eternal when you watch it the edit I mean that editor's job is probably like look this is not like it it never made sense but the more I pull back it makes less sense but that's a good thing I guess we're just trying to look honestly we're just trying to shorten it like his ponytail on deadly ground a gross 38 million us which is way under what it cost to make and was obliterated by

critics this would be his last directing job oh wow I'm what deadly ground during during the filming of this movie he has a young extra to come to a party at his house and she showed up and there was no party and he's actually assaulted her oh Jesus Christ in 1995 Jenny McCarthy auditioned for under siege to she and Steven were the only people in the room sitting on a couch not how auditions work I mean honestly well that's how Steven Segal auditions work sitting on a couch near a fireplace he asked McCarthy to sit down and she declined he said quote you know this part has nudity in it and I can't

really tell what your body looks like in that dress that you're wearing McCarthy said her agent told her there would be absolutely no nudity and he said it was off-camera nudity and ass to see her breasts what in the fuck how I mean how are you like how I don't understand how you can push that even further what you've been busted for like lying about it saying it's off-camera nudity but I need to see your breath like there's no logic that it's illogical it's off-camera nudity but I'll be off-camera so I have to see your breasts does this not you know what I mean I need to see them just to know for me my

character has to see him she she tried to get back to the audition and doing the scene but he keeps insisting that she take off her clothes until she starts crying and she leaves and as she walks out she tells him to go buy her Playboy video okay where can I get it this went pretty good what a shit bag I also at that level to a feel comfortable being like that I mean it's I've never heard that story until now so I guess that's why you feel comfortable doing it because it's like it's not nobody's really hearing about it I guess because you feel shame or whatever but so to feel comfortable doing that but then also to

like to have to need to feel the need to be like that when you're a huge star who could surely go out like if you're trying to get laid you know we go back we go back to the come on the face comment right it's about power right right right okay Julianna Margolies also had an audition with Steven in the 90s a casting director sent her to Steven to go over a scene in this room and she assumed the casting director would be there sure it was wrong right quote I walked in and sat down and I jumped right back up because there was something very uncomfortable and hard in the couch Steven laughed it was his gun he picked

up the cushions and took the gun and he told her he had it to quote protect myself from all the crazies out there like myself now he always has a body guard also there's a bodyguard so the audition the audition is you're alone with Steven Seagal and his bodyguard and he's got a gun sitting under the couch correct seems seems fine casting directors by the buy should not be green lighting these fucking scenarios no this is this is pimping someone out yeah casting director pimping yeah it's like Weinstein ish allowance yes Steven then claimed to be a healer and asked if he could read her palms and she let him

and at one point he said she had weak kidneys and she said she was now laughing on the inside at him like she's like this guy is a fucking cloud like an idiot now she manages to get out of the room like you know she's like okay fuck this shit I'm out of here but she did come back because he owed her cab fare and she demanded the cab fare and he gave it to her here's a briefcase of $50,000 what is a cab I don't buy a cab right at home wow now while he was filming these things I think them the Juliana thing happened in previous movie but the this stuff is going on while he's filming

and Catherine Heigl who is 16 okay and in the in the film on Deadly Ground said on the last day Steven goes up to her and says quote you know Katie I got girlfriends your age what I mean I when what again I know it but like in what universe is there anything about that that is not like horrifying yeah yeah I've got girl and age I'm married he's still married to Kelly LeBrock yes what the fuck and Catherine Heigl says well that's illegal and he said quote they don't seem to mind I'm talking about the police prick oh and by I mean whatever I mean it's all good I mean there's nothing no no he's a good star for sure

Steven Kelly had named their third child after their nanny Orissa Wolf at some point Steven started having sex with their nanny Orissa Wolf and got her pregnant wait so is the insinuation that they are raising Orissa's baby or that that no the insinuation is is that he's fucking the nanny and then says we should name the baby after the nanny that he's fucking and he impregnated the nanny or no did I misunderstand that just go with the part that he's fucking the nanny he's fucking the nanny and then he names the new Kelly LeBrock baby named after the nanny that he's fucking yeah and she says yes I mean she must just be

like she doesn't know she does she doesn't know even then you must just be like this is just I'm in hell what she was in hell yeah she was in hell so why don't I play the ukulele and then the man nanny gets pregnant nanny gets pregnant oh my god I want to name it Kelly LeBrock you all are being so rude to me right now during the filming of under siege to Kelly LeBrock serves him with divorce papers and he said quote holy shit I didn't know you could do that to me and then he had a meltdown okay he flew to see a Nigerian healer he had seen on TV after that he went to a Buddhist healer named Makura and then

there were a bunch of other healers Steven wrote them many many many many checks Nassau said Makura was just scamming his money wow I mean that he was like cool awesome that'll be $50,000 again that's what I work in now under siege to came out in 1995 and grossed 50 million in the US it made more money overseas but his his star is clearly fading right now most other action guys had a longer shelf life right Steve we're talking about three four movies three movies that did well three four movies that we're really just one that really did well and the other side is under siege under siege right but he is

um he is much more than any of the other action stars he is fucking brutal in his movies he tortures he breaks arms he is savagely disgusting in his films which isn't like the other guys and there's also no humor to him you know the other guys I don't know if you've seen him on SNL I would push back on SNL then you actually are seeing the guys kind of a Swiss army knife yeah on Saturday night live he does the opening sketch in which Chris Farley comes over is like this crazy kid dating his daughter and his wife is like all Steven Seagal's the dad and his wife is like all goofy and happy and Steven Seagal is supposed to

be very like tough guy and then when his wife's goes out of the room he's supposed to be really goofy but he wouldn't do that so the sketch doesn't make sense the sketch doesn't make sense because it's just like he's an asshole the whole thing like this is yeah the whole time he's an asshole this is like not made we're not poking fun at anything it's just like a dick dad I thought it'd be funny if I broke Chris Farley's back so after under siege two comes out about a month later at least four actresses came forward and said he made sexual advances during late-night casting sessions one said his message was

very clear have sex with me and you get the part another actress said he showed her acupressure points and started touching her breasts his former housekeeper came forward and said he sexually attacked her Jesus Christ also Kelly Brock would Kelly Brock would say that her entire time with him was sexual assaults and abuse around this time he was prepping for the movie executive decisions which is an action thriller starring Kurt Russell Halle Berry Oliver Platt and John Leguizamo very first day of rehearsals he's prep he's in executive decisions yes okay but it's it's an ensemble it's an ensemble yeah

the first day rehearsals Stephen walked in and announced quote I'm in command what I say is law hey I'm Kurt Russell this is Halle Berry so good to meet you seems like you'll be a pleasure what I command is law I mean he's this is even for actors it's oh it's batshit crazy it's it's really wild yeah well Leguizamo is while he's not a stand-up comedian he's stand-up comedian ish yeah and he just starts laughing right he starts laughing when Seagal says this quote he slumped me with an Aikido elbow against a brick wall and knocked the air out of me I dropped to the floor and all I could say was why why I'm gonna break you so he

assaulted yeah you saw the first day he assaults the other actor who laughs when he tells them that he's in command of the production yes sounds like studio have to make some executive decisions in that film he's killed halfway through he's like sucked out of it in it yeah well he's still in it should he still be working after what we know no he should not be working but I would even imagine even by the God awful Hollywood low bar standards that you would be like I mean he assaults an actor and he says he's in command I feel like they would be like yes even it feels like your good is just the one guy on his own little mission

instead we don't need to surround you with other people who also have ego I wonder if in this movie because he dies halfway through and doesn't really do anything if they did cut him out if they just took him out of the movie they were just like in theaters all over America when he dies people just fucking cheered and he was in the movie theater and then happened and he was livid I need to watch TV healers it's not funny you guys in the film the glimmer man Steven's new religion reared up Steven Tobolowski plays a serial killer who Steven is supposed to kill okay but Steven decided it was quote bad for his karma

to keep murdering humans in movies well Steven you have that discussion now script now he wants the serial killer to live okay so it's an interesting tweak it feels like so his job is to kill the serial killer that's good but he because he feels like I mean by the way a guy who is sexually assaulting and coming up with these like horrible casting couch decisions is now like I'm worried about the karma if I kill out another fake character in a movie what will that do and they're like well you're like basically a rapist and he's like yeah yeah but what does it do you know what I mean I can't kill Steven I can't do that

so I think he's why don't I just give him eternal life that's cool oh yeah yeah let's do that well this is obviously a problem for the film and Tobolowski speaks to Steven and tells him his character is basically just living in hell and killing him would allow him to be reincarnated as a peaceful being interesting so Steven goes ahead with it yeah I mean that that is just got to be an amazed I mean it's like negotiating with a child basically yes right I mean you're just like the fact that these that easy to person you're right yeah after this your character does go to heaven and then he comes back as if as

long as we shoot the part where he comes back as a different being then that works for me and add extra 20 minutes of the movie and then at the end I get to give a quick little speech to camera but later on he says he ad libs in the movie thank God I didn't kill that guy and so they quickly they quickly come up with some lines for Tobolowski to make it seem like he had somehow survived being blown up but in the end they just cut all of it so but he he's just an idiot so he's convinced Tobolowski convinces him to not do it he's like yeah you're right and then they're rolling he's like yeah good thing I

didn't kill him and they're like what the fuck we just you just we already killed him you just killed it yeah that's right I'm not dead but I my legs don't work so I don't think I'll be able to chase down people like I used to fuck is happening good by the way Steven Seagal running is he doesn't know how to run he runs like he's thinking about and learning to run at the same time it's crazy there's videos of him running online people just cut it out of movies watching a baby horse it's like his hands are floppy but his arms are tight like it's so fucking crazy it's like he just found it's like he just found his

arms and his back isn't sure what that's why he made his next movie discovering running in 1996 actress Lisa Guerrero was invited to an audition for this Seagal film fire down below at his home it was very possible it could be a very big break for her but she refused to go alone she was eventually accompanied by the female casting director and Steven came to the door in a robe and she did the scene for him while he sat on a throne oh my god I mean it's the worse that things are getting in his career the more bonkers the ego has gotten a robe and a throne has anybody ever worn a robe on a throne I mean yes monarchs

wow bought a throne it feels like by the way it's also a toilet and I'm going okay so is there a camera I'm the camera okay great the casting directors like by the way I'm not doing this again I know I'm sorry out wait where are you guys going hold on let's do the scene again this time I'll go without the robe let's all do it naked do you guys like Cheetos so Seagal tells her she could have a very big role in the film if she came back later that night for a private audition and she she did not now Steven is putting on weight which is very very bad for an action star well Warner Brothers puts Steven on a strict diet and

gives him a trainer but then they found cookie crumbs on his fitness equipment no it's no wait hold on I mean the idea of like execs or a detective going over to his place to see how he's doing on his diet the fact that the guy's eating cookies in his gym all right I'm gonna go bench press and he chips ahoy I mean work out Steven Steven excuse me Steven what is this what are these those are new nutrients nutrients mmm yeah I got this tastes very much like an Oreo cookie there's a lot of Japanese the Japanese what nutrition biscuits their trip what

yeah the nutrition cookie biscuits from Japan from what are they called weight loss they're okay I'm sorry so they're weight loss cookie biscuits with that are nutritional that's right what are they called that's right there what are they called what is that they're from the it means from the panda so these are nutritional these are nutritional diet cookie panda cookie biscuits Japanese cookie biscuits that are of the panda because right here I mean they it looks like there's cream and there's there's dark brown black crumbs here very familiar of an Oreo no that's this is Steven this I work with Steven with part

of Ikea was working with white fluid Steven Steven it's right here it says double stuff are you eating double stuff Oreo cookies while you're working out your spot are you even working out you've definitely put on weight in your face and your body double stuff yes it's a type of Oreo I I Steven Seagal yes double the martial arts that most people would have no it is a Nabisco product and it is called the double stuff and it is clearly that this is this is a brand of cookie coming up with called double stuff martial arts well you just okay so you you just told me a second ago that these

were nutritional diet cookie biscuits of the panda from Japan and now you're telling me that well don't say that's right because then you just told me that this is a cookie you're coming up with so what is it because I think it's an actual Oreo double stuff it's not a cookie I'm coming up with what are you coming up with Japanese nutritional biscuit that helps you with your martial arts training and I Steven Seagal and double stuff with martial arts you are absolutely double stuff from what I could tell you have put on 20 to 50 pounds and you're supposed to be on a diet a calorie count and we come down here to

check in on your progress and not only is most of the gym equipment covered in in cookie crumbs you are now spinning lies about don't look away and stop looking away and look at us when we're talking to you I put on waist muscle Steven look I I'm not gonna sit here and and do this with you anymore I mean we have a clear you're not you're not an Aikido expert so you don't know what our waist muscle works look all I see you doing is I eat oh okay and the O stands for Oreo and you're eating a lot of them and I don't care how many times you tell right now well I look at the ground I I'll tell you what I am on is on an

empty packet of double stuffed Oreos and I'd be willing to bet that if I looked around here I would find more of these the idea that you're even in the gym eating these snacks is I don't even want to open that can of worms why not do it in another room I feel like you want to get caught but regardless it's hard to tell what you weigh because of the robes that you are now just draping yourself in but you're certainly bigger oh reuse and they're from Japan okay they were up the panda they are diet it's just I'm not out of the panda here in I mean I'm not gonna I'm not gonna I'm not gonna fight you but honestly I think that I

could that's where we're at so I'm looking at you and I see absolutely no waist muscle so I don't know how you could fight me yeah no I am I am on a very I'm I am on a diet I have law I am trying to lose weight okay wait and again I'm not even an action star I just I just work for a studio no but you're not either Steven okay what you are is a a former action star who's getting one more break as far as I'm concerned but you're the one on deadly ground and we're gonna make an executive decision that you're not above the law okay and I don't even remember the names of your other movies right now but yeah

you are very much under siege you're overweight and under siege now quit eating your goddamn diet panda cookies in here and start doing some stuff on the treadmill excuse me yeah no then it's Oreos I mean the packet is right here Christ come to Japan you were not we're in studio city are we yes because I can be in two places at once so in fire down below he'd gotten so large that according to Vanity Fair quote the crew spent much of its time trying to find flattering camera angles which given the final product seemed to have been few we're gonna shoot from top the top of this building this part even but then

Joy arrived he had a daughter with his ex-nanny now girlfriend he's now publicly out with his ex-nanny they're now publicly dating right taking her to premiers and doing the whole thing according to Nassau according to Nassau Colubbo crime family capo sunny friend cheesy was working for a guy who said Steven was making moves on his wife so some higher up in the mob is like Steven's hitting on my fucking lady but he I mean again like he believes he is an action he believes he is a character in his movie at this point yes he's like I think I definitely think there is a completely distorted

reality he doesn't know what's fantasy and fiction anymore so he's Steven when he hears this is totally freaked out and he thinks that franchisee is gonna kill him he keeps saying that I'm gonna kill him but that doesn't happen okay what did happen is some sort of relationship now developed between Steven and a mob capo sunny franchisee and over the next few years mob guys would have parts in his movies way yeah what a he was so he probably negotiates with the mob that in an Emmaa culpa he is how about if I just put you guys in my movies that don't do well I think that it's like hey look I won't rough you up okay you

just you fucked up here right you did a fucking thing I didn't I didn't know we can work together we can work together yes yes yes absolutely get you get little nipples Joey eyes you put him in a couple of couple of shows yeah oh oh I'm sorry I thought you were saying I would have surgery to get little nipples oh yeah okay so I'll just start putting you guys in my movies my casting process is a little irregular just so you know you'll have to come over to my place late at night alone with no one and I'll be in a robe and a throne but yeah as long as you guys are good at acting like me should be no problem in one scene he

put some big mafia guys son in the movie and in this scene he beats up everybody in a room and never touches the mafia guy son enjoy your beer I mean like he's already fighting an uphill battle he's not in shape he's never been good he's now creatively like at the helm too much and on top of that he's now being basically extorted to cast mobs people in his movies well there's all right there's already a there's already a mob issue naso is mobbed up like masos in in deep of this so there's already there's already a mob thing going he was living in the guy's house it's all very like and also when he is

when the studios are paying Steven part of his money goes to naso right so isn't something you do now you don't commission your pharmacist normally I've never heard of that fee so there's a there's a strange relationship here now Steven's spiritual journey is really just on fire in 1997 he became a reincarnated Buddhist master which was bestowed on him by Pinor Rinpoche essentially your one step below the Dalai Lama what what what this guy Pinor Rinpoche is supreme head is supreme head of the Nyingma school of Tibetan Buddhism according to Vanity Fair quote specifically he became a tulka or

incarnate Lama the embodiment of Shungdra door who founded a small monastery in Tibet in 17th century so there's guys like this this mystique Buddhist monk from the past and now with this Rinpoche is saying that Steven he is the reincarnation of this guy now how okay so the this happens it's it's a thing in their religion but usually it's a child that they find well in many ways been reincarnated in many ways yes and many ways and is it it's not the same it's not the same as they find the Dalai Lama right because the way they find the Dalai Lama is like the Dalai Lama dies and then they're like we got to go find

the other one are they just like we've been looking for the Rinpoche and here is a mansion in Studio City I mean it is kind of like that like they are seeking out you know who is what and and yeah I mean it's sort of the same thing they find a kid they're like yeah this kid so it's just Steven and a bunch of children but Buddhist now especially like Richard Geer in Hollywood but like Buddhists are like right why why is an old guy who kills tons of people in movies how can they be a llama yeah and people are like accusing the monastery of taking Steven's money and giving this him in return I mean he is he's like a

bishop now he's right below the fucking Pope I mean essentially it's Dalai Lama then a bunch of he's second llama I mean and him and a bunch of kids and they think that the they think the the the Buddhist powers that be are just being bribed essentially well this specific one and maybe a couple others because you have to you have to you come up with it and then you get other a couple other Rinpoche has to agree with you and then then it happens so yeah but he's just passing out 50 grand briefcase and we take the vow of silence we won't tell anyone yeah so it's so bad he gets so you know Rinpoche gets so much shit

that he is forced to address the accusations in writing and he said he didn't take any money and he admitted Steven didn't go through the complete process also he's like look movies are movies they're not real life so so I don't know what you guys get it's entertainment you know so are you guys telling me that you feel like do you think that the movies influence us it he's that good of a person if you get to know Steven Segal you will see that he is everything we talk about people will always continue to comment how weird it is that a violin action star is a tulka and Pinoir Rinpoche quote there is no

inherent contradiction sure okay wow so now he's one of the most top Buddhist around he just keeps finding ways to just carve out like what seems like a good existence but it's so not only undeserved it's like you know to go from actor to high-ranking Buddhist is it's would be hard fucking decent good person at like Tom Hanks you'd be like this is kind of bullshit but it's Steven well what about Richard gear yeah well I mean I don't know much about him but yes I would Buddhist like yeah you I mean it would make more sense according to producer Damian Lee going to Steven's office was now quite the experience

quote it's really quite amazing the staff really treats Steven as a guru when you have a meeting with him you may be sitting there and he will be served plates of fruit and meat and they call him Rinpoche as Steven has served his guests are never served a thing so he's more charcuterie Rinpoche and cantaloupe you don't eat so let's talk about this next movie I can ruin let's get more prosciutto for the Rinpoche a person who worked closely with Steven said quote he's the only Buddhist I know who can use the words Dalai Lama and cunt in the same sentence man I'll tell you what the Dalai Lama should have warned me that he

was such a cunt all right so you seem you see can I get some more Canadian bacon for the Rinpoche at this point Steven is routinely calling journalists scumbags and cocksuckers and whores if they're women like he he's just like we'll do yes of course as we are I mean I have the Dalai Lama loves to throw those terms around so his box office career is just still getting smaller and smaller and smaller in 2000 Warner Brothers gives him three million dollars to play a supporting role in exit wounds an action movie starring DMX it does well at the box office but Warner has fucking had it with Steven Seagal right he's 49 he's

completely out of shape he's often late he is a serial sexual harasser and he has lazy work habits his 16 million dollar movie fee is now down to 2.5 million dollars a movie still overpaid but yeah what a drop yeah now over the years his relationship with Nassau has been going south they put together a film called the Prince of Central Park in 1998 but Steven backed out of it at the last minute of their own project yeah yeah I'm passing on me I don't believe I can do I I don't like what I've done it's just him in the mirror I'm sorry it's pass he also pulled out of three other films and it caused the production company to

cancel 25 so he can't pull out interesting okay yeah so to cancel 25 million and foreign distribution deals so Steven now tells Nassau he wants out of the partnership he wants to end the partnership right that's his fault now Nassau is like we have a contract for 60 million dollars to make more movies and Steven is like I don't care and also there's no actual contract okay here we go one of those one of those projects had been for Stephen to star as Genghis Khan even though Steven is an Asian well there's a couple things one it sounds like he has the behavior of the character yes to as I mean it's a tarot I

mean it's a highly illogical problematic concept in every way and facet but we also have seen in the last whatever decade that there's not a lot of pushback sometimes to white people playing Asian characters we've that I mean you know okay okay so let's talk further about this they took out full page ads touting the film and trade publications is what you do when you're gonna start making a movie and then Steven went to China and auditioned actors to play his relatives in the film my god oh my god so he's not an Asian guy who's going to have an Asian family oh my god what were you saying it's just

there's a logic issue it's I mean again we're getting back to beyond appropriation now it is where we sort of started which is like he does Steven is what we call a racial shape-shifter in his own mind he's not really he doesn't see himself as white he sees himself as he has the ability to sort of morph into whatever the role calls for you know an exit wounds Steven considered himself to be DMX's father it we just let him believe certain things so whatever the Genghis Khan movie is dead with the other movies he started filming exit wounds in Toronto and while he was shooting Nassau his brother

Vincent a Gambino capo and a Gambino soldier went to see Steven on the set try to intimidate and try to intimidate him into continuing making movies with Nassau I mean what a crazy like look you're gonna keep making dumb movies with Nassau okay so I don't know what you heard but unfortunately Steven you're not gonna be able to just walk away from making these movies now this is a highly irregular for the mob obviously to be coming here to pressure you to you know continue to make theatrical releases but we are what we are you're gonna make a movie and you ain't gonna refuse okay well after that producer

Damien Lee said Steven was going around to people saying quote I have a problem can you help me with the stuff down in New York hi and then I got a I got a New York problem there's New York guys and then Danny Provenzano of the Geno V's crime so the other guys are from Gambino of the Geno V's crime family comes up to see Steven now Danny been dabbling in movies a little bit producing and whatnot and after this meeting it was decided that Steven was no longer in business with Nassau he was now working with Provenzano and by extension Capo Sonny Francizzi who is member the guy from earlier who sleeping with

someone's wife oh let's work it out let's put guy so this is all coming around full circle a little bit so if you're like with him you're he's like well I finally I finally did it I got rid of the the Gambino problem oh good for you that's great yeah I just it's too much pressure to try to work with the mob it's like I don't know I mean I feel like they don't share the moral principles that I you know Shay hold dear to me that's smart of you Steven you shouldn't be forced to do that yeah so I'm working with another mob family a better one a better one more moral they're more moral they're more moral

plus I tried to fuck his wife so they're also they wanted to kill me too but like DMX was probably like I'm sorry I don't want to know about your life so so basically what happened was Provenzano takes over Nassau's spot in the business and everything's gonna continue as is like that's essentially what's what's going on with with Sonny with this Capo Sonny Francizzi being essentially the guy pulling the new the new Nassau in 2001 Steven goes to a New York restaurant to see Nassau his brother everything to discuss the situation he wants to talk to him about this situation sure but when he

arrives they hustle him into a car where there is another Gambino guy waiting and then they drive at one point they switch cars in case they're being watched oh my god Steven doesn't know what's going on and then they take him to the gauge and tall in a restaurant in Brooklyn and take him into a back room where the Gambino Capo and soldier from before are waiting the ones who came to visit him with Nassau on the set and they demand Steven either do four films what or or list they do the four films the contract is for with Nassau or list Nassau in the credits but either way give them a fee of 150,000 per film oh

my god I mean he's at this is again rarefied this is not I mean even for Hollywood nonsense forcing like alright look you either do the four movies with us or Nassau's name there's a producer and we get the 150,000 credit okay that's three briefcases what are you guys talking about oh I want points on the back and we want to be named in all the sequels and we want to cut of the merchandise okay I don't know so Steven is very scared even though he had a gun on him the whole time he doesn't want to go to the FBI quote they can't help me they can't protect me I mean I guess there's a lesson in here which is just

don't make up everything he's also scared about he's scared about what happened to his career if it came out that tough guy Steven Seagal is being I mean he's built this whole like air about himself where he is this lead like he's he's the real deal he was sought out he's probably CIA he's a Navy SEAL he nobody could choke him out and then he's just some dude in cars that are getting switched around with a gun on him and he's like I gotta make four movies and otherwise these guys are gonna hurt me so what does he do what do you do he can't go to the FBI well he goes to see Angelo Prisco a Genevies

captain who is in prison he's hoping Prisco could be a peacemaker and help resolve the situation and Steven pays him $10,000 for his time and then absolutely nothing happens he just takes $10,000 all right that's very appreciate well thanks for coming by Steven so will that work yeah that works it's gonna be okay yeah for me it's gonna be great but I want take care but I see you later but I gave you $10,000 yeah it's much appreciated thank you so much but I am still in a lot of trouble yeah anyway come by whenever you want to give me money okay I just thank you I I feel like I'm not good at life a month

later Nassau the capo and the soldier showed up at Steven's house in LA the day of the exit wounds premiere they had heard Steven was complaining about their threats and that day Steven gave them $700,000 no no I wasn't complain I was actually I was complaining because I kept losing count over how many brief cases I needed to give you guys and it turns out it's it's it's a lot of them so here you go here's a stack of 16 17 somewhere around there and yep so that's cool thanks for coming anyway I should get on my big and tall robe I've got to go to the premiere tonight great to see you friends whoa okay let's do the math

they want him to do four movies for 150,000 each which is $600,000 he just gave them $100,000 over it's a tip well it's a shit your pants fee I mean he's really like I mean he's again for the tip I mean he starts the first half of his career posturing as the toughest guy in the world and then the second half of his career coming across as one of the most scared men alive yeah so the government the whole time has been investigating the Gabino capo the one who threatened him right and that guy is soon arrested it turns out they have tape recordings and on one of them the capo and the soldier are laughing as they talk about how they

just scared the shit out of Steven Seagal in their meeting oh my god it's like Shug Knight with vanilla ice a lawyer said quote they were laughing about it saying it was right out of the movies the capo said quote I wish we had our guns on us that would have been fun they're laughing at him because he's so scared and he has a gun on him so they think it's fucking hilarious he's like um and then here's another hundred grand just for gas now there's also tapes of the capo telling naso to demand 150,000 per film and in another the soldier said Steven was quote running scared that's a good title running scared that is a good

title Steven Seagal and running scared shit my pants while jogging weirdly so naso ends up suing Steven for the 60 million dollars suing him so wait that the 700 grand went towards him basically and now he's suing him I think the 700 grand just went to the capo and I don't think it went to naso and then he had to get permission from the mob to sue yeah they gave you could sue him fuck him now around this time naso also told Steven he's no longer wanted his company's name on Steven's New York gun permit and already told the police that and Steven fucking lost his shit because he wants his guns now while this is going on I

mentioned Steven Steven loves animals right I mentioned he loves animals yeah I remember that he's a big animal guy I know he likes panda cookies well that's not just talk he genuinely does around this time he works with force South Africa to stop the exporting of baby elephants to Japan I don't know why baby elephants are being sent to Japan I don't know what's happening but that's yeah I'm sure it's just being enclosed in some capacity or ivory or one some well probably not ivory anyway and then after that PETA gives him a humanitarian you're my favorite bread now he's vegetarian he believes in shaming companies into

changing so he has some ideas that are okay he said he sees himself in all animals and he went further on this explanation quote when I walk into a room some people see a dog some people see a cow I am all of what they see it is their perception probably not the two greatest animals to pick like you could be like some see a puma some see a jackal some see a lion some see a dog some see a cow some see a jellyfish some see a naked mole there's no Buddhist story that I I love because it reminds me of it reminds me of being on mushrooms a little bit but these people come to see these two high up Buddhist guys monks

have a conversation and they're both just fucking laughing they're just laughing their asses off and then one family stops and goes I can't believe they call that a tree and then they just start laughing again right so it's about perception it's about what you believe like you know it's it's it's a it's a greater philosophical idea it seems like he's taken that and shit on it and then rubbed it through some animal hair and he came up with this like it's not the same thing people don't fucking see a dog when you walk in the room well it's also it's also ego-based because it's what people's perception of him are

versus the perception of enlightened right people's view of you know the absurdities of the world his is his is their theirs is oh my gosh I can't believe we attribute names to things that you know foolish foolish humans his is I too many am animals so Peter after he does this they interview him and Stephen explained when he realized that he had an incredible connection with animals and this goes back to when he's learning a keto in Japan quote I was in Japan and had my own dojo or school there I was having some difficulties with a group of

lawless individuals there was this big conflict again his rumble of the Bronx I was pretending to be a dog he can never he can never not pretend like he was attacked by yeah it's like he was in his reality now it's like bullshits that stuck so long that it became real I remember I was sitting out in front of my dojo and I saw this white dog who just walked right up to me as if he had known me forever I petted him and fed him and he stayed with me for a few days on about the third day he woke me up with really intense barking at about four in the morning and I noticed that my dojo was on fire I quickly summoned

help and we got the fire out and I thanked the dog the next day he disappeared and it was me I was the white I was the white dog that had come to myself I'm a Yakuza dog so he again has he's just I mean it he can't stop you would think at this point that he would be like there would be like part of him that would be like yeah I need to start to live in reality a little bit more because two mob families are fucking me over and it's not going well but it's that he's like and that dog saved me and then I don't believe the dog ever existed that's why I help animals dogs come to me to save my life magic dogs or

all the are all dogs magic yes even me sometimes I walk into a room and people see a dog because I'm trying to lick my own workout or a cat because I only go insane so so prosecutors ended up bringing Steven into the grand jury over the mob case and there he pleaded the fifth and by the way I would feel a lot more comfortable if I was the only one wearing a robe your honor so they gave him immunity and he turns my god it's this I'm not fucking real Steven was called John Doe number five in court John dojo at trial at trial he wore a silk shirt and a brown silk jacket and he testified against

the mob capital while being questioned he said quote in the movies I play a tough action hero but I have feelings I've been a victim twice twice I mean it takes a lot for it's the only time when they're like all right you can be you have to be totally honest is where he's like in reality I'm a bit of a wimp so just so you know now the judge the judge has a grandson and he's like a younger he's like a teen and he comes to watch and the LA Times reported he said quote I like his movies but I thought he would be skinnier he was like why did they quote that kid just looks kind of like a younger Santa okay so the Gambino crime

captain gets 15 years for tons of charges not just the ones involving you know Seagal but it's just tons of stuff and the press learned how scared fucking Steven Seagal a tough guy it's X CIA X Navy SEAL now dojo owner in Japan sought out by the founder of a keto when he was a teenager in Fullerton I also speak dog so do you remember the CIA agent that he had tried to hire to film the reporter having gay sex when the reporter was straight so apparently Steven said something about him in it while he was on the witness stand and said now that guy is mad and he comes out and reveals who he is his name is

Herbert Saunders and he's so mad at Steven Seagal that he comes out and he basically says everything Steven had done so before it was just spy magazine anonymous CIA guy and now he's coming out and saying it's all fucking true this guy's a piece of shit yeah but the reason he did this because he wanted he was like I want to be a part of because NASA was gonna go on trial next he goes I want to be a witness in that trial and he's like I mean he says Steven can't he says the first half of all of his lies are now just it's all coming back upon him yeah he can't he the guy says he can't Steven Seagal cannot separate

fact from fantasy and and he said Steven he's relationship with Steven was Steven always asked me to do stuff and and he he cut off Steven when Steven asked him to get his D8 DEA files because Steven believed the DEA was keeping files on him because at some point they were gonna frame it so I mean just out of his court out of his fucking mind oh the only way they can take me down off my giant the DEA is trying to get me everyone wants to take me down so um action stars Steven Seagal NASA wanted this the CAH to testify but the prosecutors like there's no reason

yeah but he really is dying to you just like can we just let him in for a minute just he wanted he really is looking to chew the fat over Steven a little bit so the trial happens and in 2004 Julius Nassau pleads guilty to extortion conspiracy and he gets a year in prison and a seventy five thousand dollar fine but he still wants the money owed him sixty mill the sixty million dollars he says Steven's in violation of the contract also early on in their relationship Steven had borrowed five hundred thousand dollars from Nassau now Nassau is connected to who? The mob? In early on in Steven's career he borrowed

five hundred thousand dollars from the mob a guy associated with the mob some things I think I started to come together right so the mob now I mean he's he's owned by the mob he is that's why that may be why Nassau's name is on all the one right and why he even started the partnership with it because it seems insane and Warner Brothers Warner Brothers would never explain why they have done that right I mean because he was living on his property in a guest house so he was at one point you know it's partially that he was probably living beyond his means pretending to be this person that he isn't and in order

to fund that he made a deal with the devil they could it could have just been a situation where they're like look we gave you money early on and until you and until you pay off your debts you're living in this fucking house and we get your checks or something of that money then he did yeah but who knows I guess all right all up in the air but there's definitely some shit here with the fucking mob the five hundred thousand dollars that having guys in the movies it's all very their their legal disputes is in the courts for a while and it gets settled in 2008 Steven agrees to pay back the five hundred thousand dollars he

also agrees to sign a letter requesting a presidential pardon for Nassau what year is this it's just the bush it's bush but the in any way is it it's not going I mean Steven Seagal signing a letter that's just a lot of conditions it's like well I'll sign like him signing a letter asking for a presidential pardon doesn't do any it's not moving the needle in any way okay so as we're gonna see in part three there seems to be a large group of people out there who believe Steven Seagal has much greater influence and is much more important than he really is okay and I think this is an example of that it will blow up in

the third part so Nassau drops the sixty million dollar suit with the settlement Steven is now free to make movies with his new production company steamer right yeah Cleveland steamer but but all of this stuff that has now come out in the trials has brought Steven's mob affiliations to the attention of the FBI and you'll learn more about that in part three oh my god the idea that he's like finally I can make movies again it's like buddy that's not happening anymore we don't nobody is after it doesn't nobody is like clamoring for more Steven Seagal films it is so satisfying because you don't get this in politics it

is very satisfying to hear some one's world of bullshit crashing down around them and they are finally being proven unequipped to handle adversity after projecting that they can for so long yeah I mean are the Buddhists like Steven can you come here for a meeting we are gonna go more into the Buddhist stuff in part three parts so we had part one and then we had a Steven Seagal and then now I really thought that it would I thought it would be two parts and then I just did the second part and I was like well this is just bananas like it's just it just keeps getting more and more crazy we haven't even hit Pete crazy

yet because it's gonna keep getting crazier in 2023 I don't even know what's gonna happen so so there's probably a hanging fourth parter out there mother fucker it's going international I mean it has to there's nothing he can do in this country and I mean this country now it's just like look Steven that's right this is just we are you have America is now a dried husk for you you are done there are no there's nothing left oh my god could have been could have been a senator senator I mean yeah senator up I wouldn't put I wouldn't put anything Pat I mean you know we voted for Schwarzenegger Trump became president I

wouldn't put anything past any voting block in the United States to pick any idiot to be in I I am so close to saying with confidence that Steven Segal won't make it in political right office but I don't think now he can back then absolutely maybe absolutely now I feel like maybe now it's just I mean but you never know now I don't think he yeah no he probably he what if he ran in Texas like I don't know I don't know what if he ran in Arizona I think to me it's Florida to me Florida is where it could potentially happen yeah that's our greatest state so maybe that could happen well it's once again been an

absolute pleasure what a what an honor really just certainly quite a man quite a man so many sources for this episode the researchers done by myself and Ron Pocone sources see I always mess up how to say this Seagology see Seagology LA Times LA Times Archive New York Times NPR the Guardian SEC a dot-gov Vox Daily Mail Wales Online Buzzfeed IMDB Grunge Biography comm and Newsweek Reuters Slate Daily Mail UK Looper Forbes Phoenix New Time New York Daily News Deadline.com USA Today The Baffler GQ New York Post Washington Post Buzzfeed News and Vanity Fair