The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 528 - Steven Seagal - part 3 (the carrot)

Episode Date: April 12, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds continue to examine buddhist Steven Seagal Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch

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American History podcast. Gareth and each week I hat wear man with a face. Catcher of what I call mosquito eaters. Dave Anthony reads a story from American History to his friend. Gareth Reynolds who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Sorry what is a mosquito eater to you? Okay so when I was young and I was raised as a young boy amongst bug knowledgeable people there were these larger insects that flew around and they're in your home often they get in there and sure they look like a giant mosquito kind of and I was always told that they ate mosquitoes. Now that can be a total lie but that was

maybe my parents way of telling me that that's not a bad bug but either way let's just go with it. Wow I can't believe we're doing a dollop about the stupid mosquito at your bug. I know you're talking about it I mean I'm not doubting your I mean well your dad did like to drink so maybe that's part of what was happening here. Maybe your dad just saw a bigger mosquito and he just was like that's a mosquito eater. It's like if you eat a bunch of pork you become a pig man. That that is also true. The thing I just said. Yes if you eat enough pig you become a pig man. Right I wish that was anyway this country would

be a lot different looking if we turned into what we were eating. People tune in for facts and they're getting them up front are getting a lot. Yeah and a lot of people probably have stopped tuning in by now so yeah there's no I did. Yeah no I'm done for sure I'm not listening anymore to this episode. And called it quote his jam patch. I'm the fucking hippo guy. My name's Gary. Is it far fun? And this is not going to come to Tigglypod guys. Okay. This is like Adam. I'm a five-part coefficient. My room's a place. Now hit him with a puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep, no hip hop. That's like no hip hop. Action partner. Hi Gary. No. I sleep done my friend. No.

Roder in the car. Gareth very soon you and I are going to be in a place known as Australia. Wow I can't believe it. Oh you didn't know that? No I know it I just can't I can't believe it's happening. I can't either nobody can. So our tour starts on April 19th in Melbourne and then April 20th Adelaide April 24th again back to Melbourne and then celebrate on April 27th we'll be in Brisbane on April 29th Sydney on April 30th Canberra on May 1st Sydney on May 3rd Perth and then we have added two shows which are special shows so if you haven't heard we are coming out with a new podcast very soon a new recorded

we've recorded a bunch and we're gonna record a couple of live ones so we will post that on Patreon and Twitter and you know all the all the we'll be doing that Sydney and Melbourne so not a lot not at smaller venues so but it's a good show I think people will like it. What do we know the dates? Yeah I'll look them up while you do other stuff. Okay well Dave no problem I have unfortunately I don't know if you've heard ladies and gentlemen of Australia most of my Australia dates are going to unfortunately be postponed two are going to be kept and they're both in Melbourne and then maybe I'll do one at Perth at

the end but probably just Melbourne on April 22nd and April 23rd at the European beer cafe I'll be there at 945 that's a Friday and Saturday then back in the United States best country on Earth number one no doubt about it on May 16th Monday I'll be at in Timonium Maryland at Magooby's Joke House May 17th Tuesday Washington DC at the Union stage Wednesday May 18th the Richmond funny bone in Richmond Virginia May 19th Virginia Beach Virginia that's Thursday 730 May 20th the Bell House in Brooklyn New York 730 June 8th Oxnard Liberty Live 8 p.m. which is a Wednesday June 9th Thursday Irvine Improv 8 p.m. and

June 12th I'll be at the soda bar in San Diego California at 8 30 go to garethronalds.com for tickets and information and have you done your research David? One is on April 21st which would be in the city known as Melbourne and then the other one Tuesday the 26th and Sydney at Sydney in the comedy store we'll put ticket links up and all that apparently it's already ready to go. So we've got a ticket link up we're learning a lot too about it as we go. We're brought to you in part by Express VPN so here's something that's not fun. Biden's infrastructure bill that Congress passed last year while

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control. I have been using Express VPN for years I recommend it. So stop letting the government spy on you take back your privacy and freedom at expressvpn.com slash dollop and get three extra months free. That's expressvpn.com slash dollop expressvpn.com slash dollop. We are brought to you in part back keeps look two out of three men are gonna experience some form of hair loss by the time they're 35 and it bums a lot of guys out just makes them sad. So there's things you can do about it today. I'm talking about keeps keeps as a convenient virtual doctor consultation the medication is delivered straight to

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with Squarespace we got the dollop sources with Squarespace we got the dolloppodcast.com where you can get your tickets for our tour we got it all under Squarespace we're so tight I forget who's Squarespace and who's Dave I should stop talking but like I said it's super easy they got domains websites online stores marketing tools analytics all there for you you don't have to update anything she makes it super easy they got 24-7 customer support I might just start another website for the hell of it that's how much I like Squarespace so a go to Squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial and when you're ready to

launch use the offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain well we are also brought to you in part by Everlane look I'm a big fan of Everlane clothing company who researches audits factories to find the producers who are championing worker empowerment and improving the environmental impact fair wages reasonable hours the recycling water using renewable energy all that stuff of course very important to us here at the dollop and then I'm talking about they got nice clothes you've heard me talk about this before I'm a huge fan of the French Terry sweat pant it's like all

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jeans head over to everlane.com and check it out if you want to do things differently from your core to your closet shop Everlane go to everlane.com slash dollop and sign up for 10% off your first order that's 10% off your first order when you go to everlane.com slash dollop and sign up Everlane ethically made sustainably sourced yeah so okay so I mean I I'll be honest Dave you know it feels like we've been doing a seagull podcast and and here we are at the third episode and I've mixed feelings I mean I feel like I've learned a lot that I don't want to know I feel like it keeps getting I watched the SNL

sketch oh yeah I think we retweeted it someone someone tweet a couple people tweeted it at us with the one with Chris Farley and it's it's unbelievable to make Chris Farley not funny isn't that amazing is like an act of God yeah it's really it's impossible to do and he made the Chris Farley's he made Chris he left Chris Farley hanging out to dry so mercilessly yeah and then I also have access to the whole episode which I'm gonna get into at some point yeah somebody found a link to it so it wasn't completely screwed yeah and someone else said it's actually on the apps when you go into the side night live you know

whatever but someone else actually said it was one of the better episodes and then I clicked on that profile and it was Steven Seagal so he does that and by the way before we start and then we'll and then I'll hand the reins over to you we should say for both of those episodes and this one allegedly allegedly yes whole thing so 2002 year of our Lord Jesus Christ so Steven Seagal's as we left off his brush with the mob in which he had a lot of stuff going on with the mob and then and then you know a lot of financial it was a witness witness against a capo in court so that brought the attention of this little

organization called the FBI his old stomping grounds yes and the FBI began investigating Seagal one of their own also due to his connections and association with Anthony Pellecano have we heard of him yet no we have not I like that it's we've got like a seagull and a pelican and he's a private investigator he specializes in working with celebrities and he claimed Pellecano claimed he'd received training from the military in sophisticated audio surveillance and that he investigated 3964 missing person cases and solved every single one oh my god either either these people are just in

the yard or he's pumping up the numbers so I like that these two are getting together and both just lying to each other completely just like you know I was a Navy SEAL in the CIA he's like I found over 3,000 missing people well pretty impressive I could break a man's spine by flicking him I can eat a whole turkey without touching it wow you know I actually the founder of Akito sought me out wow I am one time a plane was flying into a building and I stopped it with my hand wow you it seems like we're both pretty remarkable yeah well unbelievable characters yeah I invented pizza wow in the 90s

Pellecano made just shitloads of money working with huge clients in Hollywood like Michael Jackson Kevin Costner James Woods Stevie Wonder like tons of missing bubbles bubbles is gone and he became friends with Steven Segal probably because Pellecano also interested in karate and allegedly he says a black belt sure yeah of course yeah of course yeah I mean I didn't know that you needed to bother with all the training you could just say it yeah you could just say it which makes it's so much easier to just be yeah I'm a black belt and actually I invented black I'm a silver belt wow wow now there's a

freelance reporter who has worked for the New York Times and the LA Times her name is Anita Bush and she was stop let's just say everybody out there is 13 enough she was okay we're better than that we're not gonna enough I never even when I was doing the story I never even put that to me either I don't think I'm just I'm just saying for people who have those dumb little minds that's right we hear that and think that's funny that's not the comedy it's not no we're not sophomoric no so Anita Bush was cut that out go ahead she is researching a story about Steven and his mob ties okay and one day she finds a bullet hole in

her windshield and a dead fish with a rose on the hood along with a note that said stop oh my god what kind of crazy mess like you could just do one of those yeah yeah one is fine one is someone shot somebody there was a fish in my car someone shot it and they had the funeral it's such a stop it's such a this is what we do we don't we don't do the one thing right you got to have the fish you got to have the rose you got to shoot the windshield yeah well it's probably him and Pellecano and he's just like probably like he's like I'll put a bullet in the windshield and then I'll leave a note that says stop yeah and we should put a

fish on a dash wait why well I don't know just well just to show her that like um you know just in case she just thinks maybe it was like someone threw a rock and left a note the fish will be clear yeah yeah okay and just offset the smell let's leave a rose too like like hey you don't fucking talk also maybe we go out sometime yeah I mean to me it's a little more like Batman's parents but yeah either way okay it's just a way to let her know like hey enough also we mourn the fish yeah okay I told you I invaded pizza right yeah no I read that in the paper so a suspect was arrested and he said Pellecano had paid him to do it to

intimidate Bush okay the FBI thought Steven had hired Pellecano to intimidate her and hired someone to scare a vanity fair writer named Ned Zeeman with a gun so okay these two things happen around the same time I like that he pays Pellecano and then Pellecano is like I want to hire someone too hey I found it out I got a lot of things going on I'm doing I'm dealing with Michael Jackson stuff I'm dealing I look I get if do the math I gotta find a kid every five minutes I find a missing person so busy it's not easy don't worry I found the perfect guy he will bend under pressure so Pellecano's offices are rated they

find explosives grenades all these illegal wire roses transcripts and recordings he gets convicted but he refuses to snitch citing the code of omerta which is the mafia code of silence sure okay sure that's pretty good for Steven so I'm gonna go ahead and claim the code of a murder I'm done we don't reckon you mean plead the fifth I'm gonna plead it I plead the code of a murder so pleading the way to the the mafia constitution I don't got to talk it's like it's like if you can't you know snitch on your spouse it's like that but it's but it's in there you just gotta read up yeah we have it it's not

just mafia it's called pleading the fifth so you yeah yeah no I'm gonna I'm not I'm not pleading the fifth I'm pleading the code America cuz that's how we do okay okay you know the guy that you actually hired he did not plead the omerta code so so I gotta get a fish I gotta get a rose no I gotta go shopping write that down I gotta go shopping that's yeah me and the boys so it's a pelican pelican is he goes to jail so Steven takes a polygraph and it's a pretty innocent he's right and the FBI investigation reveals that Bush was also looking into Michael Ovitz Ovitz was the guy who originally got sick all the

movie deals right okay his original see his fake CIA agent and and he's now moved on he he was the president of Walt Disney for two years and now he's not but so he he had a massive career right it turns out Ovitz had hired pelican oh Anita Bush sues Ovitz Steven says this proves that he did not hire pelican oh and how and he claims the FBI admitted to him that they knew that he had nothing to do with it well that's how the FBI I mean works for sure yeah they do that with some sort of being like absolutely well Steven you've convinced us we shouldn't say this what are you doing I just like the guy so much he's

cool look at his ponytail it's the right amount it's like he focus grouped it so so he he he wants an apology the FBI would never publicly clear him Steven believes that this is what ruined his career true I think we all agree with that sexual assaults not all the no the movies that we're doing terribly that he was directing none of that yeah the getting way is an action yeah there's none of that possible to work with yeah assaulting other actors none of none of this stuff yeah yeah getting in a headlock and crapping his pants so to this

day Steven is still waiting for an apology from the FBI it will come it okay it's guy I know and then I'll be in movies again so in 2004 a 24 24 year old woman was hired to be Steven's assistant and on her first day God she was told giving him massages was part of the job she quit that day when it became obvious that he expected sexual favors from all of his assistants yeah I mean just get like the only job that that makes sense for is a masseuse you cannot be like I'm looking for an assistant to help me with my affairs okay and I I will want to topless massages I I need I'm a fuckman so I need that's part of

the job is that I'm an actor writer director fuckman so my basically I want you to work under the name I need a push so in 2005 Steven released lightning bolt and Dave you don't need to tell me we've all heard the title of the movie lightning bolt so obviously oh I mean it's his album it's not his album it's a book of short stories it's not it's a robot he made that it's the only pony tailed robot it is an Asian experience energy drink oh my god oh someone said pictures of them okay right right Steven said he had backpacked through Asia looking for the ingredients believed to keep locals disease free for

life absolutely absolutely yep from this guy tells the truth a lot always from those ingredients he made lightning bolt the drink which had quote untold power cannot be told yep plus high-fructose corn syrup yes strange it included flavors such as cherry change and Asian experience yeah no that's a plant for sure yeah he went on a search he went on a backpacking search for all the ingredients that are the secrets to Asian culture he went high on them and then he put the yeah he went high up into the Himalayas and what are you yeah he found you know he found like what's it called cherry experience cherry

change he found cherry change Asian experiences a different flavor sorry so he finds cherry change which obviously has been a big breakthrough because you hear about it so much oh yeah yeah for sure no absolutely yeah makes sense I mean it was probably he probably like had some guide with him and he's like what are these they're like cherries he's like cherry change okay so so people immediately mocked lightning bolt and it went away as quickly as it had come as actual lightning yes now Steven had another love from his childhood besides martial arts and that was music lying he loved he loved to play the guitar he

started playing the guitar at 12 and now that of the guitar if memory serves that's right and now he decided to share it with the world he released his debut album songs from the crystal cave oh my god how how did it go how did that happen from the crystal cave that's right and he sang and played guitar the music combines rock reggae and country with Buddhist elements sure which go together so well absolutely it's like rock yeah yeah yeah well that even sort of works sometimes but you throw country in it now we're getting I mean basically he just pitched kid rock with Buddhist elements with Buddha with some

Buddhist elements right he he put out a second album a year later called Mojo Priest that came out in 2006 and it's good but live from the Crystal Palace is really it's not easy to top it featured the single alligator ass so I don't know if you heard there but a priest stole this Cadillac and he looked him in the eye it would be great if he just started to confessing to things that he did like we put a bullet in a screen and put a fish in a pose took a dump in a backseat and left a rose the music is terrible it's not good it is not the the it's obviously when it's at its worst is when he is singing yes

singing does have really doesn't help it's really bad and the end that's really bad it's like how he acts the blues guitar is generic it's it's like how you would expect a just a random white guy to play the blues not just a random white guy Steven Seagal right you know I actually BB King saw me out in the Hills of Toribora when I was a baby because he saw on a star that he needed to teach me how to play the ax I would go into more of the songs but I'm sort of I'm sort of bored by Hollywood guys starting bands but this one is a little different but I understand yeah yeah so you know all of his movies at this point

are just straight to video like it's all direct to video there's no more there's no more theater releases and and so in 2009 Sylvester Stallone is putting the other movie called The Expendables Wow it's an 80s type action movie packed with 80s action stars like Dolph Lundgren Arnold Schwarzenegger Mickey Rourke Chuck Norris John Cloudbendam so all the all the big guys yeah so Sylvester Stallone reaches out to Steven yeah Steven unfortunately no hey yeah it was made of a dumb movie yeah it's about all of us has been like thrown into the garbage bed of Hollywood and you got Dolph we got John and Arnold yeah I just think it

might be a good idea if you like join up with us and you know what we're all basically doing you masturbate what it sounds like it's a I'm doing a keto when I talk you know I do it right now yeah yeah what movie right now this slide the slide sister if you're not doing a keto you can just tell me if you masturbate right now slide sister that's right and then kick now doing the alligator ass hey it's good catch up with you man good luck with everything I tried lightning bolt by the way it's really the cherry change is yeah it's very it's hard to drink too the cherries come from the very top of Mount Everest so

yeah I was doing pretty good yeah yeah you don't need to tell me obviously a lot of stuff grows up there my dad no father was a Sherpa the foliage and he taught me the Sherpa ways wow I help oh I'm getting a call I gotta go yeah I gotta grab that it's not a call so I gotta grab that good talk to you don't man you sound like really good yeah I do I do sound good yeah all right okay click click I think we're both still here yeah I don't know why I'm just gonna actually hang up now yeah okay all right click so still on offers Stephen the part and Stephen turns it down because he he hated one of the producers there

are people in Hollywood you just can't work with you believe me and of course it's a fucking massive hit as is the sequel huge missed opportunity for our hero well but he's got lightning bolt that same year he gets married again good what a lucky what a poor soul this time to she's known as L Batsuk and they had met when he went to Mongolia when he was looking for actors for his gang is con film way back in 2001 she was an interpreter and you know how sparks will fly sure yeah well what's your around Stephen and translating his words yeah yeah some there's something there so the same year he got

married he started in a new television show a reality show called Stephen Segal lawman began airing on any right yeah right so we forgot about that it takes place in Louisiana is mind and Jefferson Parish he is a reserve deputy sheriff right according to A&E quote over a span of almost two decades Stephen has regularly gone out on patrol and worked major cases the series will allow fans to ride shotgun with Segal as he and his hand-selected elite team of deputies respond to crimes in progress so basically any just didn't know that he was a total liar yeah I'm a legal sheriff and I have been for two decades

yeah we thought we would have heard of this like well yeah I'm actually I started a keto I've worked for the CIA I'm a Navy SEAL FBI I don't know if you've heard me live from the lightning cave I'm a musician and on top of that I'm a legal sheriff they're like oh my god wow just make a show about yeah when this came out to everyone was like wait what is going on because any was is still I mean even though like at the time they were like arts and entertainment you're like is either of those what's going on I do well just the idea that Steven Segal was a deputy sheriff solving crimes and didn't tell anybody right

there you've lost it's that's it that never happened yeah yeah and I mean I guess yeah for 20 years he would have been going I'm also a sheriff like he would have never stopped saying that well considering previous statements you kind of is dog the bounty hunter because he was a dog for a long that's right he was a dog so the LA Times interviewed him about this and according to LA Times Steven showed a picture of his swearing in from 20 years before this is me quote they were like put up your right hand fuck no don't actually swear quote it appears the photo was taken 20 years and at least 20 pounds after the

fact oh Jesus they didn't they didn't even photoshop a photo they just took one from like now and we're like yeah that was me 20 years ago and it's like no you're yeah now this is also physically people saw him and we're like what's with his this is like when he starts to have the kind of shoe polish look yeah the hair looks like he's kind of is very like it's like it's all very the goatee everything is very sort of like it's he's doing sprayed on hair and right the goat he is like died or put shoe polish in it or something but it looks crazy like it's right he also told the LA Times that he went to the police

academy in Los Angeles and got certified so the LA Times checked and there was absolutely no record of him going to the Los Angeles to be my defense I didn't know they were gonna check that I thought I normally I can just say things in his second season Steven hired hired an assistant she was an ex-swim suit my massage oh my god what is the deal he found through a Craigslist ad which is always what you do in show business how he has a and e like how could he should to them be like we should add an assistant kids that he's like don't worry I found a model from Craigslist they're like Steven please can you like

talk and first of all answer an email every now and then I kid he flew her out on a private charter jet he doesn't have that money upon arriving she learned she was to be more of a sex slave he kept her confined in his mansion and and allegedly sexually assaulted her over five days oh my god she managed to get out and flee and get to a cab which she hailed while he chased her with a gun equipped with a flashlight what the fuck yeah I mean Jesus belongs in places worse than prison yeah I mean it really is like I mean he's acting above the law she in 2010 for the lawsuit accusing Steven of sex

trafficking because that's what that is right yeah when this became public the sheriff stopped the show from filming oh the share the sheriff department was like yeah we're yeah and he was like we're still down to do it as long as you got no okay you yeah let's not do it you're right let's not you know we've actually been tickering with this show about people who hoard cats we might just go in that direction now again art and entertainment any quote Steven was facing an internal affairs investigation immediately following the outcome of the lawsuit and he refused to return to Jefferson Perich at which time he

tendered his resignation so the last episode of that show should have been them looking for him yes yes absolutely you could even have like convinced him to look for himself been like when we find this son of a bitch this is my address this picture looks a lot like me wait a minute I've got a doppelganger he would settle with the woman at a court so we don't know what she got but that that went away naturally A&E did not cancel the show but instead moved it to Arizona Maricopa County home of famed anti-immigrant monster sheriff Joe Arpaio they did more A&E should have had their license taken away a guy is

accused of sex trafficking it's also it's it's and yes that should he has a history of this shit too like yeah how are you not he has he has so many lawsuits have been filed against him and settled yeah and then there's another one and they're like well Steven you know what this means unfortunately we're gonna have to go a state away so it's tough but that's the biz babe that's the biz but this is Hollywood like they don't care about as long I imagine what do you what are you saying to anyone who works on the show at this point yeah well any woman who works on the show what yeah so Joe Arpaio is a monster he's

received multiple complaints Joe Arpaio is getting involved in this show yes he what the fuck so he is now so Steven Segal and Joe I make prisoners live outside in 120 degree heat Arpaio are ganging up yeah and A&E's like we got a good buddy cop movie this is a pretty good pairing rapist and racist they literally went and found the worst sheriff in America yes you pair him up without question yes yeah they were like we're trying to make Steven likeable so the only thing we could do is get this guy who has his thoughts from the 1830s Arpaio has received multiple complaints of abuse of power and police misconduct

including racial profiling now with so many school shootings sheriff Arpaio and Steven had a little plan have Steven teach a volunteer posse how to respond to an active shooter so so there's a there's some things going on here so there's shootings happening in America and he is going to get Steven Segal who has no experience with anything like this to teach a volunteer posse so just random dudes craigslist yes a hundred percent random dudes how to respond to an active shooter in the school he took 48 random volunteers through eight is a lot yeah Steven takes them through four different shooting scenarios while 25 teenagers

act as the students so actual students county SWAT team members acted as the shooters and then Steven would critique the posse members reactions quote I am here to try to teach the posse firearms and martial arts to try to help them learn how to respond quicker and help protect our children what posse again everything I know about these I've made up what what posse is responding to school shootings by the way even calling it a posse is like it's all bananas but yeah so he's basically just put together like a rag tag group of vigilantes yeah to stop school shootings because that's the flavor I mean

that's like the the flavor right now so any standards wise has none of them they put Steven Segal with Joe Arpaio with probably craigslist renegades to stop the school shootings this wasn't actually aired on the show this happened as like a side thing that the sheriff and Steven did like so well so this isn't even you can't even say they did this for the cameras these crazy assholes just doing this at the goodness of their hearts they're doing this at the goodness of their hearts so I can only imagine the damage that would be caused from a Steven Segal Joe Arpaio posse trying to stop a school oh my god so an additional

eleven students died because of what Steven and Joe imparted there wasn't even actually a shooter it was a play okay one guy from the posse was the shooter so so but we stopped him sort of do we let him in yeah and then we hired him he's still in the posse so but let us know if you need us yeah yeah so during this Arizona season of Steven Segal lawman there was a guy who had gotten a misdemeanor for attending a cock fight and a cop walked by his property and heard animals inside and he he didn't know he couldn't have animals anymore as part of his misdemeanor probation or whatever it was right

Steven's his animal abuse is his pet peeve so it's the only pet I keep so they decided to apprehend this guy and Arpaio and Steven decide to use a tank several armed cars ear crushing diversionary bombs and dozens of sheriff deputies in riot gear I'm sorry you just started with tank they should have ended with tank you absolutely should have ended with tank because I didn't hear anything after that but they and again not that and this guy is on probation for cock fighting and just has animals not even on probation for cock fighting operation for going to a cock fight so they're just because

this guy's keeping animals using a tank and explosives and a spot team yeah so this guy's just like I am fostering these two kittens and outside they're like alright do not take shit kill if you need to most likely we kill him so the reason that there was such a giant response is because Arpaio made up that there might be some drug cartel members on the property and then sent out a press release for all the media to come so they're basically setting up a fake scenario for the cameras and it's a gigantic raid for a guy who doesn't know he's just in there with his animals he has no idea that anything is wrong right

so the media is there and Steven drives the tank on to the guy's property he's of course he's driving the tank there's probably the great shot where he's having trouble getting in and Arpaio asked like butter his belly to push him through all right so I'll do the tank do you have a license for that I have a license for everything okay they drive to the gate they kill a puppy oh my god what I thought his pet peeve was animal cruelty and the guy had like a hundred chickens and then they had to euthanize them all what I don't know show producers tried to get I don't know I'm sorry I'm failing to see yeah you know

it's a raid yeah no the raid's not working out for anybody except the guy of the tank Tarian yeah and he's got a pet peeve about people harming animals but he just killed 101 animals but he just kills 101 I mean he's what is he making a coat the show producers try to get the suspect to sign a release but he refuses I can't I mean that the of the everything shocking but also the fact that you have not figured out a way to be able to film this dude without his permission please sign it no I can sign it you guys are like framing me as like an animal killer when they killed a hundred chickens of the dog please sign

it please sign it our parent tells the press that's there that Steven was a member of his posse but Steven said quote I really don't know about the posse I know I'm on loan out from Louisiana he is not on loan out he is not on loan out from Louisiana he is he is under investigation from internal affairs for sex trafficking what is happening right now Dave I mean I honestly I don't know how this story keeps going I mean it's constantly it's just like it's just like being on the ropes and it's just blow after blow I'm on loan out from Louisiana to be clear he is under investigation for sex trafficking yeah and you're a

vegetarian yeah but that's why we killed 101 animals today for my show where I'm a fake sheriff with Joe Arpaio the total racist yeah that's anyway I got to get out of this tank the suspect filed the lawsuit but it was eventually dismissed of course because according to the new Phoenix Times he quote got rid of his attorney and just gave up that season did not air on A&E because this was too controversial it would later air on Reels R E ELZ oh my god Reels was like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah whatever like what A&E throws out we go to take it all the time yeah that's a sexual assault show that's awesome we love that we're

we are late we are literally looking for content we will do anything right now we're just red and stimpy around this exact same time two other women came forward with stories of Steven hiring them and making unwanted sexual advances all the way up to sexual assault does that mean he shouldn't be a sheriff Gareth Dave I mean I don't know I'll just go with the one word yes you're wrong of course not Gareth and now at 59 years old he was sworn in as a Hudspeth County Sheriff's Deputy in Texas after he called and asked if he could be one this has real it aside from the sexual assault real Elvis on barbiturates

vibe really does it's just like a guy who some people recognize calling asking for guns and badges and people just being like wow yeah and of course it's Texas Texas is where they're like well yeah I guess as long as Lou as long as Louisiana's not upset because you're on low note that's right that's right all right so sheriff's officials after he called went to California with the paperwork for him to fill out to become deputy sheriff and the sheriff's office said Steven would now work full-time to help secure the border he was given the title of deputy chief to the deputy chief what a weird title I can't believe

that he is still getting green light Lulet for anything it's I mean border patrol yeah he's he's saving America from the people coming across the border who just want to work at jobs yeah God for I mean honestly God forbid we get any criminals coming across the border imagine there's a guy in Hollywood named Bob van Ronkel and what Bob does he owns a company called doors to Hollywood and they bring American celebrities to Russia and the former Soviet states but not for tourism they're brought there to Hobnob with Putin and other oligarchs to up their status he's brought up the status of

the oligarchs right he's brought over Mike Tyson Jim Carey Katy Perry Kanye West the band kiss and Segal is on this list yes because Segal's movies popular in Russia right of course yeah I think they base the country around and they pay shitloads of money to have these celebrities come over and hang out with you I like money money's something I'm super into and then they get to be seen to me they get to be seen with them and no and I'm sure it's it's I mean it's again again it is like you gave a good list of celebrities but it's like what Trump did Trump like was able to reinvent himself over there to some

extent because it was just like nobody gave a fuck and then he went there and they were like do you understand like nicest hotels and he was like sure yeah okay like it's just like I mean you're a big fish and a fuck whatever size pond you're a big fish and I'm sure there's a big part of it which is you know these guys are oligarchs these guys are all evil sons of bitches and there's got to be a big part of it that's like trying to also make it seem like they're okay to celebrities like they want the celebrities to go back no they're actually nice like it's a whole fucking double-edged you know right right so

you guys want to try some lightning bolt oh yeah and this is unbelievable it's got what oh look at that flavor cherry change this is incredible energy I've never felt so excited and my oh my god my heart is racing oh my gosh my heart is going so fast right now seriously like my arms are like kind of numb from this shit this cherry change Jesus Christ I feel like blood coming out of my cock it's just oh my god cherry changes so holy shit I can't breathe my vision is gone I can't hear anymore this is nothing this is absolute torture Steven I don't know what's up my heart is coming out of my chest I only tacking my last

breath oh my god I'm dying from this lightning a ball so that's the change and cherry change that you're feeling so that's how it works he's dead yeah he's changed I'd like to try one of these cherry change lightning bolt yes so Steven Steven had met Vladimir Putin at the Moscow Film Festival in 2003 and they hit it off got along really well of course he's like I like to protect black belt in judo I'm a black belt in a keto a lot of times I can throw people across the room I like to throw people across the room what the people think it's fabricated when I do it people are always trying to poke holes in my strength

I don't know I really like you see you see oh I like you Vladimir so in 2010 Bob takes Steven back and his band for an event with Putin now as you said their clothes with alligator ass they they both enjoyed martial arts as you said so the two bros really hit it off they really hang out after the party sparks fly they become fast friends Putin and Steven they're visiting dojos together they're dining together doing what two psychos do together right they're just hanging out absolutely yeah Steven starts touting his Russian heritage his I should have looked up how to say I'm actually ex KGB really oh I've been every

every organization that is interesting to people I've been a part of my my grandfather helped kill the czar so yeah oh that's interesting yeah with a keto right yes of course before before was invented he knew so yeah I'll pre a keto invention he understood so in many ways he is architect he's in many ways he architect of a kiddo well pre-kido pre-kido yes very interesting it because actually I what the people trace a invention of judo to my father before judo was even invented my father was throwing people through windows out you know houses and sure you know I killed the tiger with my elbow I killed one

with my mind you're the best friend I've ever had yeah oh yeah he says his grandmother was born in Vlad Devoz stock and he said he spoke some Russian he claims to be able to speak Russian Japanese Italian and English but there is no video of him speaking anything but English actually Dave I just saw a video where he was that someone was translating for him in Russian so really yeah so I feel like he probably doesn't speak Russian too well while he was there he was questioned by a Russian host and he said quote I love Russia some people love Africa some people of Mexico some people love purple the color purple I love

Russia and I'm not scared to say it sure what a normal list you know Stephen when you're giving a list to sort of compliment someone I always find do two of what you're talking about in a color that's interesting yeah I can some people of Africa some people of Mexico some people of purple I like Russia interesting list they're all words crazy I like right they are absolutely words yeah you know some people like turtles some people like surfboards some people like noodles I like Russia okay thank you for that interview also that was an exclusive so in 2012 writer David Rakoff attended a weekend Buddhist seminar at

the Omega Institute of Holistic Studies in Reinebeck New York now for those people not familiar with Reinebeck it's like a really rich and tiki sort of town right okay the teacher for this particular seminar was a gentleman named Steven Segal also known as Turton Rinpoche God how I don't understand how is it happening how is this how are all these places like because he is a walking pyramid scheme and yet he is like he's a breathing pyramid scheme and yet it doesn't matter how many blocks you remove from the Jenga of lies that is Steven Segal the structure still stands it

never it never collapses it never collapses how does it I mean he's like he's like headlining it's insane $700 would be like hey do you about the sex trafficking thing like yeah we probably should kick him out of Buddhism but instead they're like he's gonna lead he'll be in charge $700 for a three-day seminar it was on par with their biggest draw ever who was actually some real Buddhist guy about 700 people for the weekend he had not had a theatrical release in years very soon after sitting down to explain Buddhism to his students he brought that up and he said it was because he became a holy man

quote the studios knew exactly what they want fighting and I speak as I became a llama I had to establish a line I could not cross and I've taken two years off as a result plus I was so heavy that nobody would believe in what I did anymore and I was considered impossible to work with and I sexually assaulted every assistant that I had that in conjunction with my moral principles he also told them how he was introduced to Buddhism quote I was in a monastery okay I was in a monastery in Kyoto Japan and met some monks from Tibet who had been tortured by the Chinese as I was the only one who had studied herbology bone

manipulation and acupuncture I treated them and there was an immediate connection he only knows lying language he speaks is just lying he met tortured but Tibetan monks and he's the only one and he and he and he was able to repair them with bone manipulation with bone manipulation and acupuncture Steven Seagal acupuncturist and herbologist herbologist so I use some cherry change just the fucking lies that come out of this guy the lies the level of lies everything like it is like he's just the one upper everything that anyone says just like how did you get into Buddhism well I healed beaten

monks oh like you couldn't just be like it interested me like everything has to be like to the nth degree oh actually the founder of a keto sought me out like dude just say you like like you could like pass some of this stuff just be like I started studying a keto I got really good at it everything is to the level of like the founder sought me out how in the fuck do do tortured Tibetan monks end up in his dojo in like it's so crazy everything is crazy what Poseidon threw them to me so during this weekend seminar he comes very late to every session sure usually an hour late so it's a three-hour session he's showing up

an hour late and before he was supposed to arrive all the students were supposed to do calisthenics for 15 minutes that's what by the way this is why he was late but because he wasn't there the guys just had him had all the students just keep doing the calisthenics for like 45 minutes and then he shows up he's like all right now that everyone's exhausted he probably couldn't do it because he would just like all the shoe polish sweat would come down although yeah it was very obvious that the calisthenics were going on because he was not there quote we know that Rinpoche is not in the building and rain

knows a and Ray knows and knows we know the routines are lengthened and repeated on the final day on the final day Steven was two hours late his three hour sessions were usually just an hour now because he would come late and then leave early and what is he doing he's just talking and most such most sessions quickly dissolved into question and answers sessions there were also a lot of people there who just wanted to see him as the movie actor so they wanted to ask questions about his movies but there's then there's a bunch of people there who want to learn Buddhist right those people probably like this is not

the best guy well it's a lot like under siege woman one woman stands up and asks how to handle all the hate speech in the world today mostly the hate speech that's becoming prevalent against gays and blacks and Steve responded quote well I'm black and gay and I'm proud of it and the audience laughed and applauded I I can't I don't even like everyone's an enabler yes everyone it's like you should at that point so much just like hey what very very well handled very well handled very well handled well I'm gay and black and nobody seems to care you'd be at that point you'd be like thank God he wasn't here for the

first two hours I'd rather do somersaults every day more and more people left by Sunday half the students were there on Monday a student asked why Stephen wasn't putting in the time and Stephen said quote I've never taught as much as I taught yesterday and it comes to a point of diminishing returns as to what you can absorb I would be happy to give you your money back and a bonus in my tradition teachers don't explain I'm not here to take your money I'm not flippant about people's time and energy and I'm very respectful to everyone and then they all applauded don't clap it's like real-time it's so he basically is

like look I could teach you a lot but you wouldn't be able to absorb all of it I'll give you a refund yeah which he'd never was gonna do yeah of course not no it's like yeah I mean if essentially it's Trump University I don't mean to keep making that comparison but yeah no it's definitely got there's a lot of flies going around this horse shit so who knows how much money he made for that weekend but my god so anyway Stephen Stephen goes to Putin's inauguration in 2002 he's probably at the bank with like a huge check and they're like so your name is Steven Seagal this is made out to Rinpoche yes well that's my Buddhist

name should I do if I sign the back does that well it's just that I mean it should be we do need identification for Rinpoche right but his money real yeah I mean you don't if you don't need us to cash the check you cash the check you son of a bitch okay so Stephen goes to Putin's inauguration in 2002 and well he's there he visits the Russian judo team who's getting ready for the Olympics Stephen gave Russian crowds I keto demonstrations now there's a video of one he's giving an I keto demonstration and it cuts to three teenage girls in the stands fucking laughing at him not really laughing so hard at him cuz it's

ridiculous it's completely ridiculous he's big and he's just like it's essentially he's tapping people and they're yeah yeah yeah 100% yeah he also visited visited a factory that makes Kalishnikov rifles he went to a parade celebrating the 70th anniversary of Nazi surrender to the Soviets I was a Nazi Stephen no no not that one oh okay Stephen started selling his US homes in 2012 he had bought a home for 4.25 million dollars in Scottsdale Arizona in 2010 and he put it on the market in 2012 part of the description of the home was that it was bulletproof oh my god what what you can't I mean in what how what

is it made of I don't know what does that even mean I don't know not of windows it doesn't windows they gotta be bulletproof I mean it I just what an amazing claim this lovely house you'll see here is just beautiful it's a four bedroom four bathroom beautiful home two pools X star Steven Segal used to live here and this house also boasts that it is bulletproof it cannot be shot you cannot be shot in it full full bathrooms tugs I don't care about that why is it bulletproof well the house is bulletproof because if you're if you're Steven Segal you don't know I mean people are just out to get you because

you're so perfect in every way and so he just need to be careful I mean keep in mind Steven Segal basically is a Buddhist who invented a key to work for the FBI the CIA and was the Navy Seal a huge movie star so a lot of people want him dead so he has a house that is completely bulletproof the yard is beautiful the art there's a tennis court we can go see that after in a second the tennis court also bulletproof help yourself to some of these tiny sandwiches too because these are not gonna eat themselves yeah absolutely so so his bulletproof home did not sell and it stayed on the market in January 2013

Steven was sworn in as a deputy sheriff in Dona Anya County in New Mexico Rinpoche raise your right hand this is a alleged multiple serial sexual assaultor yeah yeah he was filming the movie movie force of execution in the area and they expected him to take on border security quote Mr. Segal has spent decades in law enforcement doctor doc doc doc doctor Segal doctor Segal quote doctor Segal has spent decades in law enforcement training and has a special interest in the unique challenges our department faces along the border we are honored to bring that experience to this department as well

presidents Segal as far as Hudspeth County Sheriff he had been doing quote long-distance consulting but had not yet returned since he was deputized so it's two years later I mean so he just like he becomes the sheriff takes off then is a sheriff and a new I mean are you allowed to play the sheriff field on that level I have no idea you allowed to be like a multiple sheriff I guess I mean I guess when you are like that big of a sexual assaultor like most cops are like get him involved I wonder how much of this is him just getting a license to carry license to kill yeah hey in 2013 Steve instead of Putin during an

interview quote I know him well enough to know that he is one of the greatest world leaders if not the greatest world leader alive see it's it's you know what it is also reminiscent of is Rodman and yes Kim Jong-un it like it's like what if you are kind of a wash-up and a world leader gives you access to a palace and the fruits of you know the high status of that anywhere you are like like Dennis Robin was like he's awesome he's like the best dude people like he's like killed tons of people like look as far as I could tell the dude is awesome so it's just like that you're just like yeah it trust me he's one of the best world

leaders why cuz he likes you pretty much yeah that's pretty much Rodman made sense cuz he was on the 91 pistons yeah I mean I definitely was a bigger get than Segal no doubt soon he he was invited back to Moscow to visit a newly built sports complex with Putin and that year he made a deal with a Russian gun manufacturer named Orsis to promote their weapons and lobby the US to ease restrictions on Russian guns the idea that like if you need an ambassador to help with the like the US is like no we're not like this is not but this is not the Palm Grease you think it is so we know that the Stephen has unbelievable

reputation in your country biggest movie star still correct we believe he has two different TV shows in the works and multiple movies plus lightning bolt energy drink has shocked the world it no like Stephen says it's like putting a finger up your asshole but we still think that it is important for you know Stephen listen to Stephen he is one of your biggest hits he's a hit maker he's a multi hyphenate musician Buddhist inventor of a kiddo you know listen to him when we talk about the guns is tough you know you guys are so rigid when it comes to our gun situation allow you know maybe listen to Segal a little bit so

Stephen I thought that you wanted to maybe talk to them yeah let you should let them use their guns here it's really not that bad again as someone who almost got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and is not allowed to go to some states because of the assault I've committed against women listen to me on violent firearms wow this guy is it just me or is he like super charming so let us know where to drop off the guns and when you give us the money and make it quick too because we're like needed fast so the things have never been good between Obama and Putin when they first met in 2009 Putin just braided Obama for

two hours about Washington's treatment of Russia over the years and then after Putin was reelected in 2012 things just got worse and they met they met in again in Ireland in 2013 and and Obama was trying to get him to stop supporting Assad in Syria he refused and then Putin came up with an idea to fix the US Russia relationship by Dave that's right Gareth use Steven Segal to heal it because I feel like they not have internet there like how do they not have access to the fact that this dude is over like he's like don't worry we have secret weapon we have the biggest movie star in America in our back pocket because they

said he was an American patriot and he knew Russia Putin spokesman said is Steven would be the perfect person to show how the countries could get along Putin told Obama Steven should be an honorary consul of Russia in California and Arizona and then possibly intermediary intermediary between the US and the Kremlin I mean just imagine I just imagine Steven from what we've heard I mean he's incapable of doing most things but him being in charge of like community like relaying messages to and from unbelievable you know what I would do give him one of the briefcases it's pretty good I normally find just give

him a $50,000 briefcase I think a dollar tip I think you guys you kill a journalist that America doesn't like and then America kills a journalist Russia doesn't like right I think he's got the pretty good plan here Obama what do you think I feel like he's a great intermediate BuzzFeed BuzzFeed said Obama was quote flabbergasted a US official said quote you've got to be kidding so I didn't go well no Obama's White House is like we're not fucking dealing with Steven Segal one of those things to where Segal is going like well it sounds like this might happen like his Russia's like we are going like foot to the

guests on this we think this is like a done deal well finally some goddamn respect in 2014 Steven said the annexation of Crimea was quote entirely reasonable totally makes sense and is okay to do that year it's theirs it's still theirs do you not understand what don't you understand that year he was announced as the headliner at the August Bullis a blues festival in Estonia but there was a huge blowback Estonian rocker Tony's a magi called for a boycott and people were furious and the producers had to pull Steven from the lineup what I mean I there are a thousand reasons why one would boycott but

what was their rationale why were they the annexation of oh okay yeah everyone's mad about it in 2015 the this is so random that this article was just in the Washington Post in 2015 the Washington Post reported quote Steven Segal has apprehended hundreds of people working as a policeman quote the thing I like best is forming a team where we go after high-risk warrants for people who are armed and dangerous murderers bank robbers rapists kidnappers those are the guys I like to get so a lot of times I'm busting myself a lot of times where you after me and the Washington Post is just like oh dude it's just a random

article like why it's the crazy I've apprehended hundreds of them many many hundreds I don't even know how many hundreds oh I bet you don't Steven I bet you I mean he's lost count of the hundreds when would you fucking do this cops don't do their entire career there's not enough time for all the things that he's saying he does no it's not it's like nine lifetimes worth of lives yeah it's crazy every everything that gets brought up he's done and he's done it the best yeah now in 2015 Steven's blues band played a concert put on by a pro Putin biker gang in the Crimean Peninsula on stage near Steven was a flag of the

DNR a pro Russian separatists group in Ukraine the crowd waved pro Russian and DNR flags while his band played that year Putin and Steven appeared together at the Eastern Economic Forum in of lattice thought stock so he's just full in going to an economic form it none of it makes sense like he's even if you thought that he gave you some like like credibility yeah not in an economic forum I mean the guy the only monetary system he knows is briefcase bribery well well I think that Putin wants to elevate him to be some sort of diplomat I mean it's just a weird basket to toss eggs in oh yeah hundred percent

Steven was gonna see him there and be like oh he actually does know what he's doing he's actually pretty sorry I doubted you Steve so in 2015 December he goes to Serbia and meets with the president prime minister and he said afterwards he would do quote everything possible to promote Serbia worldwide and wanted to set up an Akito school there absolutely cuz he knows how to do that so anyone that likes him I mean again it's he's like Rodman anyone that likes him he's just like you you have such great taste in who you like that I will do everything to tell people how great you are just keep giving me

stuff and making me feel like I'm a movie star still and wherever he can do Akito because he thinks it makes him you know famous wherever he does that like he looks like a big badass right sure yeah no we've seen him like we've seen his skills where he touches a guy with two fingers and the man dies so they asked him to train the Serbian special forces in Akito that's not good like we were out there we touched we touched the guys but they did not fall down we don't how does mr. Segal do it dr. Segal the next month he returned and he was given Serban he was given Serbian citizenship in return for setting up a martial art

school in Belgrade and training the Serbian special forces I mean who stop claiming him as good like nobody like he should be on like a VH1 reality show he should not be at economic forums and be given citizenship because of his martial arts training it's really yeah I mean he looks like a guy he looks like a guy pretending to be Steven Segal at this point he looks like a bad Steven Segal impersonator he looks like a Steven Segal Halloween costume yeah yeah he looked like one of the ones you'd be like it show up and you'd be like oh it's just shoe polish for the goatee in November of 2016 Putin granted Steven

Russian citizenship a Kremlin spokesman quote this was his desire he had been really persistent for a long time and been asking to grant him citizenship he's actually renowned for his quite warm feelings toward our country he is he he is Eastern Europe Elvis I mean that's what he is he's just like trying to rack up like points like he's just like it's really insane he was given a Russian passport which Putin signed himself now he was able to open up a martial arts school in Russia and then in that year he toured ex-soviet countries in the name of world peace he visited incredible human rights violator

dr. Alexander a lukhchenko of Belarus oh geez and that guy I mean that guy was like you are like so awesome he's like you like a big polar bear so we should be like yeah exactly he was there to spread both world peace and because he had a consultancy contract with a Belarusian online game developer I mean it really is like it's it's very obvious but it's the fact that he is so like he must be making bank yeah he's making money I mean he really must just be making shitloads of money yeah but again he's going to like it is in the worst like it is the worst money to be making yeah but again I mean this guy has no

standards so you know they're probably he's probably in Belarus the guys like that's sexual assault wow man the US is so messed and he's like I know it's crazy on the dictator's farm the dictator dug up and picked vegetables as Steven watched as he looked at watermelon Steven said wow nice and padded one then Steven was given a freshly dug up and skin carrot and he ate it it's all on video it's amazing it's amazing I'm sure this I'll find a gift and put it up on Twitter of him eating the carrot eating Belarusian floor carrot and I think while he was there he also said I had relatives we have ancestors like

wherever he goes he's like I have some Belarusian blood I'm from everywhere I have Belarusian blood it's in a jar in my dojo he spent time with human rights abuser and Kremlin backed ruler of Chechnya Ramzan Kadroff he went to Kyrgyzstan and opened the world nomad games coming out on a horse dressed in medieval armor oh my god what he's while he was this is this is quite a thick quite a last chapter he's got going on while he was there he told reporters quote you guys are lucky because you have in my opinion a great president yeah because again he likes me because you see nobody likes me

anymore so when I meet people who like me they're the best because I'm the best and a lot of people didn't know that until these people started treating me so well Steven said he planned to shoot films there and wanted people who could do stunts on horses and beautiful women yes please please you can trust me around women if there's one thing I've proven the reporters the reporters all applauded and when his press conference was over they all took a picture with them that night he played guitar at a charity dinner of a thousand dollars ahead it's like his life is the Truman show like everyone is pretending that he

is a good real person and in reality he's just a useless shit bag yeah but to him it's all working and he's believe I mean obviously like he's he's never going to know what it's like to feel like the loser that he is yes because everyone around him he's big enough because their countries are not do not have access to anyone he that he is feeling like he is he's an A-lister and he can wherever people sour on him he can go somewhere else and find people who don't yeah yes yeah he's gonna be like with Duarte and be like he's so good at killing drug I left it out he does go to Duarte there is a I totally

forgot to put it in here he did go are you being serious I totally serious he there was a door to my god I totally forgot like everyone who is the worst like somebody's like these are the best places at people because again I am so ego maniacal oh my god yeah in 2017 president Duarte Duarte Duarte Duarte met with actor Steven Segal in in the Philippines they did a picture posing with both their fists out and Segal had arrived in the Philippines to look for okay a location for his new movie about illegal drugs and other crimes that he will be committed oh yeah yeah yeah for sure definitely make your movie about

illegal drugs there that is definitely the model for sure he also told Segal that he used to take karate lessons yeah of course they all did they all are the biggest tough guys of course he's wow there is no he just the worst the worst people find the worst people and and the worst people lift the other worst people up it's like a club and you keep rising raising each other up and it's just a fucking worse people nightmare that's what that's what what it is it is a party at the bottom of the barrel yeah when Ukraine hears that Steven has reticent Russian citizenship they ban him from Ukraine for five years saying

he's a national security risk nice finally as me too breaks Steven is obviously named by many and a recording of an interview from 1988 comes out and it's a it's a male reporter and he asked Steven if there are any differences between male and female reporters oh boy Steven quote the few times I had a hard time it was usually with women when somebody is on a tour he's there to talk about his film not about who he fucked or who he would like to fuck or who his wife was with ten years ago they should go into pornography instead of journalism if they want to hear that shit so the reporter says well is that

because women don't like action films and Steven said quote one time I'm sure that's what it was and another time it was just some dumb cunt that is a liar and wanted to be sensational Steven said one journalist had pretended to be in love with him and then wrote lies about him in her magazine he said quote I think she belongs in a zoo but a zoo of fucking dirty whores God Jesus Christ I mean there is no there is nothing about this person that is worthy of redemption yeah I mean it's like it's I mean even in a world of shitbags like he's like the shittiest bag and look if this is 1988 and he's

saying this in interviews there's no fucking way Michael Ovich didn't know that's who this guy was no fucking way now I will say I didn't put it in here because it's all very it's it's thinly held together but there is a belief that Ovich's was doing the mob favors and this was one of the favors Steven Segal what was one of the fit oh what what yes for sure and it doesn't help that he had an association with Pelikano and did the whole stuff like it's that is so crazy I mean that is like that actually that is an act that makes the most sense of anything I've heard doesn't it yeah that like that he was

just like a mob pawn yeah yeah and they only like it would makes like that like he has the talent of mob scouting yes totally in 1988 in 19 sorry in 2018 Putin named Steven as a special envoy to the United States he was to work on we know we're good we're good we don't know we're good it's Trump no no turn around not a turn oh fuck and Trump and he loves and and Steven loves Trump like they're still the best action star ever in my opinion if I were to make movies I feel like you'd be thank you so much I actually have opened a lot of Akito studios in New York well that's you know with Trump University we could have

absolutely used an Akito course we would have loved an Akito course that would have been great so he was to work on humanitarian issues between the US and Russia and also quote culture arts science education sports public and youth and what are those what are all those things again what do they mean humanitarian humanitarian yeah I've if you read some of my recent quotes that's at least what the Russian Ministry of Foreign Affairs said Steven quote I've always had a very strong desire to do all I can to help improve Russian-American relations I have worked tirelessly always three hours one weekend in this

direction for many years unofficially and I am now grateful for the opportunity to do the same officially I mean it's been a hobby of mine we you know it's almost worth it it's almost worth it just just to get him and Trump in a room and hear them talk to each other for an hour just just the level of like lie building oh that would just go on of like how long they've been doing things to help things that they haven't been helping forever how many things they've invented that they don't even know about yeah like they would just be like making up terms and be like I study brick stock I actually I love brick

stock and I was doing a lot of brick stock in the 80s you know I actually was my father invented break stock and then he left it to me in a book I actually remember reading that book and I was one of the first people who published the book of break stock so it's an amazing art form if that's what it is oh my god so more allegations come out in late 2018 Jenny McCarthy story resurfaces Portia de Rossi accuses him model Fabiola daddies he's accused of rape there are multiple assault charges where accuses remain anonymous so what do you do well you go on Alex Jones info wars oh my god oh my god and he he says he is

the victim as of a vast well-funded conspiracy right he said he said wait he's taken himself down there's no nobody has to take Steven Segal down Steven Segal has dropped himself he says 40% of sexual assault allegations coming during me too are made up and he vowed revenge on the people who are lying I mean he's he's he's going all Trump that's basically I mean it is it's where I just like it you it's like you know there are a lot of shitbags but if you go that direction you are a consciousness being you are like unable no he has no he's like a he's there's no it's soulless it's yeah it's it's like it's you're a

psychopath yeah like it's like he's off to a level that he should be in a hole right and he'd be like I actually invented this hole a lot maybe like shut up down there I decided to live down here because I wanted to learn about the whole Jesus Christ he doesn't stop talking I mean what would be so great is he if this fucker went into prison and was trying to lie his way through shit in prison because those guys smell fucking liar in a heartbeat it'd be like two days later they'd be like Steven Segal was skinned so he's spending more and more time in Russia he bought a house there he said he'd like to become

governor of promorsky cries it's a it's a I guess state or whatever you call it territory since that's where his father's family was from of course that's impossible because one can't have dual citizenship and be a Russian governor but he would like to be that is this new house bulletproof do we know that we don't know has to be now with all that Steven obviously had to get involved in cryptocurrency in February 2020 he faced charges from the SEC for failing to disclose payments from Bitcoin to Jen aka B2G he was paid 250,000 and given 750,000 worth of B2G crypto to be a spokesperson and brand ambassador for

the currency yes wow he paid a hundred and fifty thousand dollar fine and agreed not to promote any securities for three years oh wow so when this motherfucker commits a fucking crime that is financial oh now they get him right now they get him but when it's just dozens of women dozens of women no then nothing nothing now last year Steven became a brand ambassador for Street a United Arab Emirates based armor vehicle manufacturer Steven quote is a commercial actor Steven quote I'm interested in weapons military history tanks and armored cars and I'd heard about Street I was very impressed these

armor vehicles are probably the best in the world but wasn't he the guy who was Rinpoche who anymore because of the violent nature and that's why he retired from film and now he's like I've always been into murder and vehicles of this nature say anyone who had some a fucking check is what he believes it every he's new is new philosophy is whoever is paying him I mean I always believed in fake money that's why you know I always believed in energy drinks you know I always aboard violence you know I always wanted armored tanks you know I'm a big animal rights guy who killed 101 animals one day Street has

been accused of selling armored vehicles to United States gang members and in war-torn countries like South Sudan and Libya so he he is like doesn't give a shit he doesn't give a shit but you know at some point you got to take away Rinpoche status yes at some point Buddhists have to be like hey this guy seems like it maybe he's not matching up with our thoughts anymore he and L had had two kids together so he now I believe has seven children all together now he's a he's a grandfather twice over and has or three times he has two grand sons and a granddaughter he's got to be a great grandpa in 2021 Steven

Segal joined the pro-Putin political party in Russia Patriots for Truth as of today Steven has taken an even approach has a good association with truth for sure he's taking an even approach on the Ukrainian invasion calling for peace between the countries and giving a nod to the role of the US and NATO and NATO imperialism but really nothing against a guy named Vladimir Putin so he's just like we need peace and all of this we need peace who needs who could bring peace the invading guy well I don't know it's hard it's hard to tell but we need to figure out a way to get peace but I want to keep my home he sold his

bulletproof house remember it went on the market in 2012 he sold it in 2021 for 3.55 million he paid 4.65 million he lost a million he lost a million dollars on it his home in Tennessee sold for 880,000 in 2008 he bought it for 1.5 million so he so he has many skills and among them is playing the real estate market as well he really knows how to play like when to buy when to sell in February 2022 he sold his ranch in Shasta Valley for 7 million he had previously listed it for 12 million I couldn't figure out how much he paid for it but I'm sure he took a loss let's just say more he still owns a home in Los Angeles and a home in

Louisiana Stephen made more than 40 films in his career which now spans 30 years his movies earn more than $2 billion at the box office and he's reportedly worth 16 million dollars and he's not and that money and that money is that 16 million is filthy oh filthy filthy and he's not in fucking jail no no he's in Russia it's just fucking he's still making direct-to-video movies he is yeah he still makes him what movies is he making is he making him in Russia he definitely makes him in other countries yes the above-the-law to is in pre-production tip of the spear is in pre-production his

last movie beyond the law was in 2019 you know our society yeah is so fucked up that this motherfucker still gets to walk the earth with everything he's done to women yeah I mean it is you know there's just like it's I mean it's there's so much terrible in our world and it's so hard to kind of nail it down and what this all does is kind of put it all into one person and that person is not only not going down like he's living a fine life yeah a very pampered comfortable life even though in 2017 he made a movie called China salesman but he's like he's like fine he's crazy it's you know it just

politicians people like that people who are so full of shit and just enact so much terrible it should not just be our fuck you'd not be walking around and should not be relevant in any way not that he's relevant I mean he's powerless but he's but yeah I mean you shouldn't be walking around and it takes so long it takes so long like the fact that he's been like this for so long and has gotten away with it what's crazy is that so we've all come across the guy who lies and you're like I think I hate this guy he's so fucking annoying you know there's that guy that's always just bullshitting and you're like yeah dude you're out of

your fucking mind shut up but the fucked up thing is that there's all these people who believe him and dig them they there are people for all of us that don't like that there's a group of people that fucking dig it and they think that person's awesome yeah it is just astounding like that he you know that he still is I mean he's making fucking movies it's really terrible I mean we did the Trump episodes and it's very similar yeah it just committing crimes left and right and never getting charged and it's just like you know it's why Epstein got away with all that shit for some like it's just like there's just a

really why it's why it's why it keeps going yeah because until until like people are held to task for like the things they do you know people aren't gonna like people emulate behavior like that you know there are people who like who why would what lessons are you supposed to learn right and then there's you know do you have all these fucking dictators who torture and murder people and then they're like yay Steven Segal like it's a fucking club of assholes it's just a giant yeah club of assholes yeah and and I mean like with Trump you get you know I mean he he he got to the highest level of fucking

power and I mean yeah it's when that happens again Trump has always been an indictment of our society and system yeah that's all he is a terrible indictment we are we elected the anus of the country yeah I mean it is as bad as it gets it is and and again I mean it's like you know it's it's why you know why you need to demand so much of the people who are in power now because if they don't do it properly and if they don't give people stuff he's coming back and that's gonna be way that I mean that is President Segal yeah and that is fucking coming back yeah it is and yeah and by the way when that happens Steven Segal

will probably be elevated in ways so you it's just like yeah because it's just because all their buddies and all the people worst we have yeah all the people like them then get to be elevated all those shitheads get to be elevated yeah 100% anyway I hope this is the was uplifting wow I mean I can't believe what a life Steven Segal guy cuz it always comes back to like it's just a guy who was bullshitting yeah he's just a total liar I mean a total liar in every way every way and I mean he like he could have been an action star for much longer it like the bar was so low at that time to be an

action star John Claude Van Damme had a longer shelf life you know he blew it he blew it by writing yeah directing his own directing because he could have kept going and still do shit so we're lucky but it also it speaks yeah but it's like that's what he was always destined to do yes because he because he was born on third base and acted like he hit a triple of course he's gonna think it's easy to just go steal home yeah I mean because why not why wouldn't you if you're that terrible of a fucking actor and you're making hundreds of millions of dollars at the box office why the fuck are you gonna be like wow I mean I'm

lucky you know he's like I need to direct these things too yeah I should do a musical but never ever ever ever fucking forget when you go to watch something on television that A&E knew he had done sex trafficking and kept his fucking show on the air and moved it to another fucking state never forget that never fucking dude I just watched I just watched that Jimmy Savile documentary on how can you watch that man it's really difficult but it is the same thing yeah levels of people covering this dude's ass because of who he is yeah it's like it just doesn't it's just it just is so you know so many people are

hurt by ignoring these fucking humans and and and and and and in that one it's the police it's people in government it's the BBC nobody wants to do it and then when it breaks and then but then when it breaks there's no accountability really right it's like the church oh you know yeah it's totally it is he is Catholic Catholic Church the person no but and now they all are screaming about trans people you should be burning down churches if you really fucking cared about children like what the fuck yeah like you know what I mean they find escape code of someone who has the least amount of power as opposed to actually

going after the people actually doing shit with fucking power yeah fuck them now it is we are just like upside downtown all right yeah so we're touring Australia yeah well I Dave I honestly don't I feel like I feel like we do a Steven Seagal podcast so I don't know what it's gonna be like to do other episodes so sources the research done by myself and Ron Placone see Seagal ology study of the Asking Films of Steven Seagal LA Times LA Times Archive New York Times NPR the Guardian SEC.gov Vox Daily Mail Wales online Buzz Feed IMDb Grunge biography.com

Wales online Newsweek Fox News Reuters Slate Daily Mail Looper Forbes and Phoenix New Times New York Daily News deadline USA Today the Baffler Telegraph UK a medium a Gawker GQ New York Post Washington Post the National News OC Weekly CS Monitor Massalive.com El Paso Times Houston Chronicle and Vanity Fair THVN her oh boy of boy indeed based the