The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 543 - William Wentworth - Live w/Wil Anderson and Justin Hamilton

Episode Date: July 26, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine Australian great William Wentworth with guests Wil Anderson and Justin Hamilton.  Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch   Squarespace Everlane Babbel

When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. Welcome one and all to the Sydney Comedy Festival presented by Young

Henry's. We'd like to begin by acknowledging that we gather on Gadigal land and pay our respects to their elders past and present. Now sit back, relax and get ready for tonight's show. Well hello! No! No! No! This is that's the most aggressive one of the tour by far you guys and you stopped like it was a conductor stop that was wonderful better better better it's better it's better it's closer I like it more. Garfy! They've started drinking gin and tonics from a can so I don't know what your country's done to him but he's not the same we haven't been there that long let's go I know he's can and

gin and tonics. Yeah! See we don't need you I can do it. Here listen to the Dallup! This is a his American history podcast sometimes Australian each week where each week I lover of doing laundry man with chocolate at home laser of tennis shoes Dave Anthony reads a story from American and again sometimes Australian history to my best friend idol hero bedmate lover deluded it's not your turn yet asshole best friend Gary Reynolds a real son of a bitch you have two fantastic guests men of honor men of class men we love men who we had Thai food with backstage old men fantastic comedians give it up for Will Anderson

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off your first order when you go to Everlane.com slash dollop and sign up Everlane helping people live their best lives with the least impact on the planet and if you want to see what they look like just go to a live show we're wearing it and speaking of live shows let's get back to this one our guests Will Anderson and Justin Hamilton we recorded this live at the Enmore Theater June 24th 1861 Penguins were no I would you son of a bitch I would never do something I was like don't bring me to the sequel my absolutely never do that to where the

penguins come back it's fine this one's good they learn how to dance wait I'll get ahold of them William Charles Wentworth fucking hell is he behind us what happened I William Charles Wentworth firstly I will not disparage another William it's professional courtesy but WCW this is like I'm strapped in motherfuckers was born on a ship off the coast of the penal colony of Norfolk Island do you know where that is yeah yeah go ahead well it's next to South Oak and it's yeah it's a little left folk yeah he was also given life by a penal colony too if you think about it you better not be mean mugging

me all night with my dumb joke sir this is a long show it is it is an island between two places that are now known as Australia and New Zealand yeah right exactly in Norfolk Williams father was Darcy Wentworth he was a surgeon who at one point tried to boost his income by becoming a highway robber in England sure yeah oh I've got I've got a bit of a thing for this Darcy Wentworth doctor by day robber by night come steal my heart Darcy he's about to commit the robbery is like handgun bullets cock it give me everything excuse me so he ends up charged with four armed

robberies and Darcy quickly signed up to be a surgeon in Sydney before he could be sent there as a convict right so nothing's changed that's how he works he gets in before the trial yeah right so he's on the second fleet as an assistant surgeon and avoids the whole trial thing that and it worked so because he was a surgeon they couldn't put well okay no he he before they put him on trial he's signed up to go I mean that's okay by the way we're gonna send you to Australia you can't I'm going to Australia but as a surgeon not a criminal yeah interesting move went worth well played on the ship 17-year-old convict Catherine

Cowley was chosen to be his quote sea wife right you know what it's the way you see wife it's likely the best wow so it is like a voyage mistress wow yeah but it's a trade-off thing so you're either down in the belly of the ship with all the other filthy people or you have or you get to go up and fuck the surgeon and stay in a cabin right so I understand that that is terrible the situation that those people were put in but if I was put in that same situation I would definitely fuck the person oh a hundred percent are you kidding me I'm fucking surgeons all day long and I'm talking about just now I'm not even

talking about on a ship yeah yeah I'd be like cock balls turn around for butt so what I read about it is it's like not as bad as it sounds like a lot of women were like can I please get in the cabin oh yeah it sounds great she becomes pregnant see baby right see baby all because from all the fucking right and that's what you mean what cesarean cesarean oh see baby see baby yeah I didn't say cesarean right oh sorry well no we're not even there yet just slow the fuck down we've been on the boat I'm just trying to get it out already they go we've got us been minutes yeah so after arriving in Sydney she so the ship

stops in Sydney and then he's supposed to be stationed at Norfolk so that's why they go to Norfolk you know where Sydney is yeah yeah yeah yep where is it boat right away from Norfolk yep check it so she has William on the ship when they went right when they get to Norfolk the baby on the ship she held it the whole time she was like finally the ship was named the HMS surprise right when that feels like a little fun game show for the people on the beach yeah wonder what we're gonna get see baby so they live there for a while and they have more kids so they're staying together they either like each other or they're

just like this works right on then a moving to city in 1796 and Darcy soon became a wealthy landowner and a big muckety muck so he he becomes a justice of the peace a magistrate a member of the governor's court etc just a bunch of bullshit who cares Catherine died in 1800 oh wow and Darcy adopted William and said he was his legitimate son so he's like this kid is a kid that I actually made he's my boy not some well that was that was really big of him saying that's what happened yeah yeah I didn't know you could adopt your own kid that's a great move your kids like five like happy birthday I got a surprise I'm

adopting you gonna be your real daddy how about that I'm your dad now huh yeah you know what I'm gonna get in touch with my dad and say you could have done that fucking 49 years ago just them we brought him here tonight right if it's anyone by Andrew Denton I'm fucking furious I do I just realized I had to have screamed out the wrong date at the start oh yeah you said 1800 something yeah it says 1861 but it must have been something else 1761 fuck it backstage gin why my maybe the shit went around the wrong way I could look it up do you want me to look it up no no I mean it's that attention to detail that really

yeah puts you at the top of the podcast I bet you don't even know where Norfolk Island is do you I mean I understand the idea of you getting like a few pronunciations wrong but it's literally the thing you scream out at the start of the fucking show you're absolutely right I feel so fucking terrible and he's just looking at porn what is this guy's deal far out this is not the time what he got when he said dites was serious yeah yeah he's looking at c-sex it says how do you do that with an ass okay so he was born on August 13 1790 which is absolutely nothing like what right it's not even remotely close to the date that

I had this is was June 24th June 24th 1861 it's completely different I think our main character would be dead by then right this story's all over the place this is true is your own dollop I'm a fraud we don't know why don't we give you 1779 we'll give you a shout mulligan August 13 1790 ah well this is completely different now we need the end of the financial year right yeah year of our lord Jesus Christ I had so many good 1860 bits so you reckon garrus couldn't do this with that I mean he's just making shit up okay so Catherine dies when he's 10 in 1800 so he's a doctor by William who then

says and the reason he says legitimate some because if you had a convict wife you didn't tell anybody about it oh it was like your secret chain sure and then and so afterwards he's like no she was actually my wife I just didn't tell anybody now that she's dead I can reveal I fuck yeah we were married isn't that great how this works so soon after William and his brothers were sent to England to get a fancy education I'm adopting you thank you what does that mean go to England yeah get out of here we spent too much time together I'm your daddy so William was very smart but very lazy at school he wrote poetry drank

and gambled I mean he sounds kind of fun yeah yeah a few dirty limericks some drinks he's working after graduating you couldn't get into either the East India college company or the Royal Military Academy and he cannot get a job anywhere which he blames on being a currency lad right what that is we talked about it last night's podcast yes what is it it I would love I think that Hamo and Will don't know yeah and my concern is that it's it's a talk about last night's podcast there's been a lot of podcasts in the last week amigo look at that fly and they create there's another one there's two of them yeah a currency lad is

a Australian born European did we just time travel 30 years and I'm at theater sports it's just as bad so the people who are British think they're above currency lads like you're born in Australia you're you're less than that makes sense yeah still still the same yeah nothing's changed got it okay while many are ashamed of being native of born Australians William is very proud of it okay so he heads back to Australia because he could get a job or into a college historian David Hunt quote William was a lump of a lad wow with course features and an unkept shock of ginger hair wow his disheveled look was

complimented by a cast eye that stared disconcertingly over the shoulder of who emmer of whoever he happened to be shouting at right it's like a sandpapered Humpty Dumpty with a lazy eye yes yeah yeah William was it with some clown hair yeah a little bit tough to clown hair William was an enthusiastic shouter with a voice like a TRIACLE being poured down a foghorn he would you know what's the what got poured down the foghorn TRIACLE it's it's like it's like a syrup made out of like sugar this guy's just like you ever heard anyone pour syrup down a foghorn he talked just like that I mean it doesn't it doesn't seem like the most

relatable reference yeah like yeah what's that dude's voice sound like well yeah yeah I don't know like you ever see anyone put ketchup in a bullhorn yeah yeah one of those voices yeah not like those voices that I've got jam in a saxophone yeah yeah fuck those you know that's where jamming on the saxophone came from it's from the old guys when they actually used to put ice cream in a leaf blower yeah one of those sort of throaty you know I'm saying like mustard in a rocket launcher he's one of those guys he's talking about like oysters in a cannon yeah he's a little cannon oyster sure yeah it's like

Vegemite in a piccolo you know what it's like yeah anyway we're a voice yeah it's like peanut butter in a no-body tree going to foghorn just like that yeah yeah shouty but real syrupy yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah syrupy shout voice yeah a bit echoey there you go yeah he's trying to tell us something yeah what's going on boy all right settle down right Jesus Christ that's a nightmare the quote is still going on I love this guy still describing okay what else he would use this formidable instrument to harangue any person foolish enough to disagree with him yeah so he's a Yeller and he's got a walleye and a tufta yeah

ginger hair and yeah yeah but he's got a anyway keep going soon after arriving William won the colonies very first horse race on one of his father's horses well Governor McCory appointed William acting provost Marshall he was the first currency lad given a senior colony position now hang on did he get this position because he won the horse race like oh he just he just wanted he won the horse race and he got the job because it was dad right nice so it's a good weekend yeah yeah he was given a 1750 acres of land in 1830 he William Lawson and Gregory Blacksland led an expedition over the Blue Mountains

they were said to be here tonight yeah both of them yeah they were said to be the first to cross it if you excluded the many Aboriginal people who actually had two routes yeah yeah but yeah but they were the first people to stop for scones they were the first people to ignore that history and declare it hadn't happened yes which is really and take the hardest way over right yeah while aboriginals are probably like there's a fucking road we gotta yeah is there any syrup I'm so thirsty now the colony did not seem to care about the journey the day they left the Sydney Gazette lead story was about a drunk drowning in

the harbor and when they returned the main story was about a cock fight yeah I don't think any of us are gonna make a joke about that day the target was too big yeah yeah and I can't technically say anything because we're in the middle of an election cock fight and I work for the ABC yeah you'll get in trouble but either way it was a huge deal because on the other side was amazing farmland and William after doing this was given another thousand acres nice so he's racking up the land by just being around and being a white wait is he still writing poetry yeah he doesn't always enjoy writing poetry yeah the colonies

you gotta hear him read it too like putting honey in your speaker phone oh really yeah right it's like putting that tell her in your clarinet honestly no oh nothing like that oh okay sorry not sure what you're talking about it so weird so sorry that's all sounds of it all I don't even know what that would it sound like the other ones obviously we all right resonates oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the oysters in the canner yeah we'll circle back to that one after the show because we picked it up a tree no no the colonies military commander was Lieutenant Governor George mole oh yeah like that way he's looking around is

anyone anyone any objections it's moley in 1815 a poem was published accusing him of backstabbing Macquarie David Hunt quote of being fat money grubbing anti emancipist bigot and drunken lech who couldn't tell a proper joke so it's a lot is this like the early version of like an M&M style B rabbit this truck yeah someone's written a poem calling out boom boom boom you hear one shot one opportunity the colony offered a hundred-pound reward for the name of the poet suddenly William decided to go to London interesting interesting move there he sponged off friends and relatives in

London and went to law school he vacationed a lot saying it was for health reasons well yeah no shit everybody that's everybody's reason you'd be he'd be like I have to go spend six weeks in Rome because I who I'm gassed but and then he and then he realized people let him stay in their apartments and stuff okay so people were paying his way to do that he eventually became a barrister now a barista what do you how do you guys which way do you guys ruin it yeah no it's barista yeah yeah are you guys talking about the people who make coffee yeah no no no you're talking about the the court people yeah the court

people yeah no but barista yeah people he eventually became a lawyer but what type of learn right coffee sheep mmm John MacArthur Jr. let him stay in his apartment in Paris and then he became close with the MacArthur family William told his dad he wanted to marry MacArthur's daughter and set up an Australian dynasty quote for the future respectability and a grandeur of our family that's why you do it he wants to set up a future dynasty well if his family marries in the MacArthur family then giant right yeah serious so it's real love it's real love yeah but John MacArthur was not into ex convicts and

told William his daughter wasn't going to marry a convicts bastard well well well now he didn't know exactly what that meant but from this day going forward William would have a burning hatred for all things MacArthur okay and he didn't know what it meant I don't like the tone of your voice nothing like syrup in a foghorn well he didn't have the whole story about his dad right but well do you not remember that beat where he got a dog yeah yeah in 1382 you know that's is that what my dad adopted me makes sense so William was the whole time he's gone up he thinks his dad's like a fancy rich guy and then

he learns otherwise when an MP tabled a pamphlet calling Darcy a convicted high women this is the first time he learns about his dad and William says he wants a duel hmm nice but then he but then he backs off when he finds when he finds out that he actually was arrested for being a highway high women but then the MP apologizes and says he's sorry he didn't mean to call him convicted it's just a highway just a high yeah so he publishes a book in 1918 it's the first one by an Australian born writer it's an argument for New South Wales to have a free government jury trials and a free press so MacArthur is fucking pissed of course

MacArthur is like what is this shit he said that a representative government quote would seal the destruction of every respectable person here he was right yeah but to be fair to him that's what Wentworth thought before he realized that he wasn't one of them right like while the system was gonna like suit him he was fine to marry into that other family yeah only when he rediscovered that he wasn't gonna benefit from the system that he was like boom I'm not saying there's any lessons in that for us in modern times yeah after he gets rejected by that family suddenly takes the opposite political viewpoint interesting so

the Peterloo massacre happened which you know obviously a brief it's gonna be a long show so a bunch of English people wanted whatever more rights and what just slaughtered him so that happens right after the book comes out so no one at that point in England wants any reform so then William asks his dad for money to go to France for six weeks and his dad gives it to him and then he comes back and he's like I still don't have enough money to like look like a gentleman it's all to look like a gentleman yeah he wanted to have the appearance of a gentleman right so a judge now somehow figured out who was

the poem's author and he outs William as the author so William challenges him to a duel another do another do I'm sorry before we get to the other duel do you have any information about like was the judge like we had this been his pet cause like it had been investigating this poem this whole time like do you know because I want to know like he's like I've cracked it finally it's like a Dan Brown situation yeah right and I think it's because of the book and he has the opposite political opinion right so this guy's stirring up shit and it's also at a time when that's happening all over the world so they're like this is

not but yeah so William challenges a guy to a duel but he doesn't just do that he goes fucking completely ape shit and tries to attack the guy it has to be restrained by cops I do it without you knowing surprised you but duels also aren't legal so he couldn't do it anyway so then he writes another book and he attacks this guy in his book calling him a public scavenger and saying his report on Australia was quote nauseous trash so the other guy had written a report on Australia with the opposite view and he's saying your shit how long are these arguments taken because it takes a long time to write a fucking book

you know I mean like they could just have it out yeah no it you would you would make your argument and then wait three months for a counter argument yeah right now we're in 1861 oh right yeah and I would love that instead of Twitter yeah right yeah it'd be way better I think you'd still get in a couple of jewels it's fair so what was happening was all of William's opinions are making the ex convicts in Australia love him so every time these guys attack him he comes back and everyone in Australia is like this guy's fucking awesome this dog fucking gets us and then in 1823 in a big win for William Parliament establishes the

New South Wales Supreme Court and permitted jury trials before that was military trials which are in his fun right so British bear that means he could now practice law in in New South Wales so he heads back he comes on a ship with another barrister named Robert Wardell and upon upon arriving they sue the captain of the ship whoa that's something we're here we're done with you we'll see you in court you bastard you got us here alive they said they had to eat salted meat their cabins had ankle deep water and worst of all the captain had sailed before their 600 bottles of beer had cleared customs right they have

every right to assume yeah especially Australia I mean honestly yeah no that's it they were on sober boat yeah yeah that's a crime yeah well the judge agreed and they got their passage fee back right absolutely yeah sorry you said beer did I see the contents of cigarettes as well that I had so when William got here he went fucking booze crazy in New South Wales to be fair he'd been beer starved yeah that's how you do it it's like a camel they drink water before they go on their journeys and they stored in their humps do you know nothing come on buddy but I'm saying so you think that he would have stored beer in his hump he had

just come back from a journey and he needed to rehydrate with beer to put it in his humps buddy I'm not going to slow the story down everybody knows this he's humps he's humps yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah everyone knows that his lovely Ailey humps yeah so he is arrested three times for being drunk now a new so he gets a promotion yeah that's a promotion they give him another thousand acres of land now in New South Wales there's two groups the emancipus and the exclusives the exclusives want to exclude former convicts from civil rights I'm on their side of course John MacArthur is an exclusive on the other side emancipus

like William pro rights for convicts right they want more right what America has right I'm right to vote the right things like that right to fuck off right to get shot in the face of your 14 oh it's true my kid has two years to live if that happens it's gonna be weird I like how that's your first night like this podcast won't age well if my son gets that happened about to adopt him too this is super oh my god but it would be so the most downloaded podcast in history Dave stop talking only fuck happening what if this is one of the one that Heather listens to every six months she's like so I thought your show

was funny but then I like Will and Justin maybe this will be good oh yeah what I didn't say she was gonna die too now you put it out there asshole I'm just gonna link her to this one Heather this one's worth it get to when he gets the date right start from there and then it's one more window and I love it I'm saying out of this for when they play this in court just Dave sitting in a box Johnny depping it like yeah will vaping coming in you'd want to be the lawyer who gets to ask him what date it was on that mr. Anthony that would make you 211 years old I was having a lot of can gin that night sir

MacArthur called emancipus quote renegade Jews Jesus renegade you I mean it sounds fun I don't know what's like I'm in if someone was like I we're gonna go to the after party the renegade Jews are there I feel like shopkeepers of merit renegade Jews shopkeepers Americans and a man who had married a convict woman very specific at the end yeah a man who had married a renegade choose to like that guy yeah and a man who'd married a convict woman Tamborine Sal who made a living singing and dancing in the country fairs what he was talking about Lawson he was specifically he was like that guy made it married a

tambourine lady how many times I've read about Australian history and come up against the tambourine Sal comment and been like what in the fuck is it was like a thing people would say it's fucking tambourine Sal and everybody like but hang on but what does tambourine Sal actually mean did you work it out yeah it's I believe it's based on a woman named Sally but she performed around it's one man living yeah she made a living singing and doing fairs yeah what did her voice sound like like an angel whispering through leather like an octopus being blown out of a cannon it's a little subtle in another

win Governor Brisbane approved freedom of the press so William and his buddy Wardell published the Australian on the 14th of October 1824 it's Australia's first privately owned newspaper nice that's where it all went downhill good start yeah yeah it's my favorite paper the paper pushed a mancipist and native-born causes it also promoted William as the savior of the poor and he took out a bunch of high-profile of cases representing the poor versus the powerful poor people love this guy right in May 1825 he represented a man suing a guy named John Payne for breach of promise to marry his daughter hmm so okay is that legally binding I'm gonna marry your daughter

I'll see you in court if you don't basically yes it was legally binding if you said you were gonna marry someone and didn't then they could take you to court you better do a buddy or you've been a world of pain get drinking you know I'm a married daughter one day sir I like you renegade Jews I'm a married daughter that's pretty good I love how none of you guys picked up with the fact that he he called people renegade Jews and Americans like those were his two yeah fucking cut well be like being like fuck Americans is pretty you know we've all thought that it's the renegade Jews I've got my eye on so his

daughter's name is Sarah and Sarah's employer testifies in court that she quote heard the defendant make love to the young lady what what what did that sound like like an orangutan through a mincemeat oh man well you know that sound man I told you never mention that again sorry it's like the high like maneuver under a weighted blanket yeah yeah yeah yeah I do that a lot yeah like beating a rug under water yeah right yep yeah it's like fingering a fish without a license yeah yeah yeah it's like struggling to get out of scuba gear while calling out a lady name like orgasming through a conch

shell testifying that you heard him fucking I heard him fuck you honor all right interesting that's great that's good testimony could I go further with this question ma'am yes what is it can you mimic the sound I mean it sounded like it went on for a while touch your nipples it happened real quick rub your nipples huh go ahead and I mean rub down below a little bit permission to leave the witness box hold on I'm almost done I'm confused as to who the lawyer is can the jurors ask questions like this permission to treat my dick is hostile permission denied how does it work

this denographer was like groaning and groaning a lot of parentheticals in this one so after paying had sex with Sarah people testified that he had sex with two other women and William all these people are testifying yeah that he's like fucking a lot of I want y'all to come in and watch make sure this happened if that's cool with everyone they're looking for some cucks is it the same sex or the different sex that they all testify they've covered off all of it it's different yeah he had sex with three people at all of the times you know I'm all found out about it yeah you know yeah you know he wants to be caught

yeah yeah yeah I mean like you can hide the second or third one yeah yeah what did it sound like what sounded like there was like a syrup in a foghorn that was him for sure yeah we that was him when he finishes to I hear it's kind of like syrup in a foghorn yeah I say why to ruin a fun bit man I think we could still get some mileage out of it will come on don't ditch it kill that early too so William wins the case but he also during the trial got Sarah pregnant right well that's that's unfortunate it's not the smartest defense yeah well let me go over your testimony one more time yeah we have to

end this trial before September but he doesn't want to marry her so sure who got that impression he moves are gonna adopt the shit out of that kid right so he moves around to the estate and she has the kid so now William at the same time is working his way into respectable society he helped found the Sydney turf club sure he was on the Bank of New South Wales board and pushed for low interest rates to help the people which led to the banks holdings falling from a hundred and twenty three thousand pounds to four thousand pounds by the way I think that we can't we just have to go back to the one person who would

interest rates being low which is a real indicator of the level of the homeownership it's him that's the person a lot of people like what's your address so the the government had to bail out the bank but the low interest rate rates made the poor people love William even more so now he's the top defense attorney in New South Wales in 1827 he successfully got a soldier acquitted of murder by arguing he could not be guilty of killing an aboriginal man named Jackie Jackie because crimes committed by or against aboriginals were not subject to British law so it's well well well it's real hard to get

behind this guy like yeah it's been a couple of times where I've tried to jump on board yeah well as soon as I knew he wrote poetry I was out yeah I've learned that a number of times I'll be like this guy's awesome he was like I killed his family all right have some more land after he set that precedent that same year another aboriginal guy named Jackie Jackie was sentenced to death for killing a white guy oh my god so it works one way but not the other Jesus Christ that's great you can imagine yeah no Williams father died quiet Williams father died in 1827 and he started I'm unadopting you you weren't

really my boy so William starts drinking heavily and the Gazette called him quote either a little cracked in the upper story or downright mad a little crack in the upper story is the good option things are also not going well with Sarah she refused to register him as the father of their second child well how's he gonna adopt him yeah it might have been because he had another kid with the wife of a friend who had run off and left her who he also put on a house on the estate video that's the problem with that much land yeah he's like got eight families he's like don't worry it's fine I'm gonna go on a trip for a while you

won't see me just goes a thousand acres and he's like Sally hello what are the kids names again that's right we don't have any oh I'm just kidding let's get someone in here so we can fornicate a witness yeah now a woman around this time a woman named Jane knew had a conviction overturned on a technicality and Governor Darling who was an exclusive and acuity and acuity yeah was furious and he revoked her assignment sending her back to the female factory so her husband hires William to get her out yeah so William starts fucking her yeah Christ wow he should actually go back to

writing fucking poetry but she ended up getting out not because of William but because a Supreme Court judge fell in love with her what is going on like what there's not a lot of women I mean but on that level though it's like Alaska even then without the bears there's no bears to fuck so I'm not gonna pretend you're a salmon yeah they eat salmon asshole right no that's why they swim upstream trying to get a walk so it'd be great to see in a nature documentary here he is grabbing the salmon oh dear I don't know if we should be filming this I'm hyper baiting it's a great job there's a guy over

there just like refusing to stick his dick in the salmon illicit past highs things they're like who's that John West these high standards oh the sound when you put your dick in this all right Dave we keep reading baby so the Supreme Court judge forges papers to get her out of prison good judge hoping she'll elope with him but instead she moves on to Williams estate yeah so she gets out and then the judge is like there's a caveat and she's like no not really he's like oh okay yeah damn it but she only stays on Williams estate for three weeks and then she bails on all three dudes right her husband William and

the other guy and just goes to Australia alone just like fucking nice smart so when it comes out Sarah it comes out now because of all this is getting attention and it comes out Sarah had lived briefly with William and he said he didn't know sorry the woman sorry Jane he said he didn't know she was there because she he was sick in bed the whole time that's weird because normally when he's sick he goes on holidays yeah yeah so now Sarah's pissed because this is all getting out so William decides to back out of public life and fixes a relationship with Sarah and he and he marries her finally so with all there's

a bunch of anti-government fever going on obviously and Bush rangers are being seen as men who are fighting poverty in the convict system they're like fighting back against the powers that be okay one was John bold Jack Donahue who stole from the rich and he was killed by a posse and then a folk song was written about him but Darling made it illegal to sing the song in pubs which made it more popular right right yeah it's like explicit lyrics so singers would just change the name from John Donahue to John Dowling and then Darling got mad and passed the Bush ranger act which increased punishments against Bush rangers

and the law also required people to show ID to cops but if you're native-born you didn't have ID so if they ask you for ID and you're a native-born Australian you'd get arrested and then they'd have to take you to the place you were born hoping someone recognized you right what wow wait hold up excuse me sir do you know this man yep okay cool I don't live here oh well neither do I what a dumb oh yes I saw him come out of his mother right over there under the rock it's that fucking craziest thing that's a nightmare yeah it's a logistic night like if you're like a cop you're like please say please say please say you

have ID I don't fuck we're going to Darwin we got a swing by my house my wife is gonna be furious he doesn't have ID on him so I'll see like it'll be like five months again I thought he had ID it's a really bad law probably just be able to sing the song to be there it's fine all right goodbye bye daddy goodbye it's been so great to adopt you all right this guy and I are gonna go hang out for five months to see if anyone knows him in his home this like even as I'm saying what the fuck is with this law yeah well we just have IDs I because he's born here so he doesn't have it look it's really you're

little and I'm old and don't get it so it's just crazy but we're gonna like midnight run it together for a little while I guess and that's an old reference yeah like I said I'm older than you yeah so I have access to these that was way before I was born that movie yeah I recognize look I don't even have time I'm gonna go I have to go with this guy on a road trip montage movie does that help yeah Tanira was like a young man this is like so weird that I'm just gonna go bye bye yeah I mean I guess it is a weird concept that two men would travel a lot she sits together to say if anyone recognizes them wow just wow as we

were having that fun well it was just like wow spraying a hose through a sheet on a washing that's it putting a ping-pong ball in an open alligator mouth sometimes it sounds like shoving a grenade in an elephant's ass why are you so horribly violent it's actually great and even so God where were we 1861 people and IDs people and IDs that's right so more and more people becoming bush rangers and William almost get gets killed one time just outside of his home just one time yeah but the gun misfire but Robert Wardell is killed

when he tries to arrest three bush rangers who are committing a crime to not to be a bad idea right so two soldiers at this point two soldiers purposefully steal clothes so they will get kicked out of the military and Governor Darling has them strip naked and 14 pound collars are put on their necks which keep them from straightening their bodies and then they're left out for days and one dies Jesus and then the paper started attacking Darling so he goes after the press and editors have to register their that their editors and the papers are being taxed all papers are now supposed to be sent to the

Colonial Secretary's office to be vetted but then William finds out that no one's actually collecting that they're just sending the papers there and no one reads them they just sit there in a pile like a newspaper and so he puts that information out there and the Colonial Secretary's embarrassed and calls William quote an infamous black guard worthy of his birth being the son of an Irish highwayman by a convict whore Jesus really came fucking hard that's like that's the Colonial Secretary I mean they do come hard then I'll mess around so at this point Darling tries to banish repeat libelous

and that was it the British government fires them they're like we're fucking done with your shit like this is crazy how the British government comes out seeing like the reasonable one is really fucking crazy so Darling leaves and when Darling leaves William has a huge fucking party he has an ox and these six sheep are roasted there's beer for all 4,000 people come to a party Wow historian David Hunt quote Wentworth shouting and laughing with a bottle in one hand and a bottle in the other was carried above the heads of the adoring throng people are fucking darling is like gone and they're just like this is the best thing

ever right he's got a bottle in each hand yeah so William is now one of the largest landholders in Australia he's king of the squatters squatters they're supposed to point they're supposed to pay rent on like an honor system right so you're supposed to just pay a rent but no one great so they so they don't yeah weird the landlord's like do you have it no enjoy it yeah by the way you guys all enjoy this because at one stage in Australia we thought we could take on the world of Monopoly with our own homegrown game called squatter yeah and it was like Monopoly set in the Australian out back but instead like

you someone to land on your property like you owe me 500 they back okay that's this game goes out for a long time didn't it just keep going around all right so so William had long thought taxes but now he agrees to pay rented a reduced rate and then all the guys that he was working with are fucking mad at him so the government also didn't want to expand as it would make it harder to control convict workers you don't want more big squatters just want to keep expanding and having convicts sent to do work but that's what we call it slavery in America yeah but we never had it in Australia

I said that one sort of podcast got a lot of letters a lot of time doing a lot of learning letters you'll knew more about it than the Prime Minister so so squatters want to keep expanding the government's like we don't you know we don't want to keep expanding because of the convicts so Williams fought a long time to exclude solicitors from the court so barristers could do all the colony court work we in America don't have it's coffee solicitors are not they don't argue in court is that the difference yeah sure surprisingly it is even a surprise to me I've never been in court yeah you didn't

go to court for the yeah oh yeah those people never go to court yeah sorry I'm white and rich yeah it makes a huge difference all right so whatever there's a difference so anyway what happened is finally they exclude solicitors in 1834 so this means William and his it is other they're gonna get tons of fucking work there's nine of them so they have a giant party they put a tub of wine in Wardell's chair since he's dead yeah please do that when I go I'm gonna start getting a chair just for that yeah this is my chair remember fill it with a tub of wine they get completely shit-faced and toast good fees and

plenty of them oh wow no briefs without the cash so what free ballin yeah free ballin so William now he's fucking loaded at this point so now he thinks the rich should decide how government oh boy money is spent oh yeah here we go okay so he's really yeah it's weird feels like yeah maybe not political opinions constantly aligned with these circumstances interesting only those with property and sheep should vote and sheep yeah wow this country's great yeah really is yeah this is property and I have property sheep no sorry buddy still the same still the same you have ID or do we need to go to your hometown but if

you just have like one sheep and around with it on like a leash do you get to vote yeah I think their sheep should get to vote what if the sheep is your boyfriend or I mean most of them most of them aren't boys like I mean you'd know if it was a boy they're quite distinct from the other ones oh I don't I'm not a farm boy I grew up in I don't know like if you want to fuck a male sheep it's like a ram which I guess makes sense yeah yeah yeah but I'm fucking it oh okay yeah he said yeah if you want to fuck it yeah I mean I'm fucking it yeah no yeah you know I'm sorry do you have another arrangement and yeah well then it's a

ram so you want to you want to know my I'm not here to king shame you whatever you want to do I mean you want to do it but that's a dangerous position to drop your pants in front of a ram and be like yeah just to be clear this is sexual the rents like I'm gonna I have one gear right now yeah it is not bang time that way dive gets turned on by wool yeah so the poor he thought should have no say quote ignorance and poverty went together Jesus man wow it really is just how it works I mean it never never never changes never fucking second you're like I went for the poor you're in government like this is pretty good

actually fuck that yeah you people need to elect someone who represents your values we did so his low opinion of the poor carries over into his home in 1835 his butler led a mutiny wow wow a land mutiny grab the salad forks yeah I mean a great day to be a newspaper headline rather to with the butler did it yeah they stole Williams schooner and tried to sail to New Zealand what that's a weird mutiny like just kill him yeah oh thank you when caught the butler said quote tell mr. Wentworth that if I had not gotten away I would have settled him in another way yeah do that way was found at the house poison him and then get on

the schooner yes yeah only go in that order he obviously read it back to front right yeah yeah we got about the poison damn it now you got a poison that we cool let's go back yeah yeah boat around I don't know what to say I stole it boat around mm-hmm it's called the U-boat not much but I'll take it yeah yeah some scraps they didn't get a hiss well that'd be fair after this so William now is like okay I'm done with politics and he leaves my butler tried to kill me I'm out this is like these poor people really don't get it yeah what's their deal he took my schooner so he leads others to lead the reform movement so by now he's gotten pretty much everything you wanted he's got press

freedom the military juries are gone he's got fucking tons of money but he's still upset about stuff but just stuff that would help him personally right he often complained about the high pay of government servants especially when the job did nothing for him he kept getting upset and complaining that the colonial botanist was paid too much because that because he's like everyone's just like what the fuck are you doing the fucking botanist in 1835 William co-founded botanist sorry I get $10 a year in 1835 William co-founded the Australian Patriotic Association to lobby England for representative

government and he made sure it had a five dollar five pound membership fee to keep out the poor the association wanted to deny the poor blacks and women a vote Jesus Christ like that was hard yeah I mean honestly yeah basically our government in 1837 the British House of Commons looked into transportation and some called it a kind of slavery and the result of this was Van Demon's land sending convicts to public works instead of farms so William loses his fucking shit because he just completely relies on free labor and he had once written that the convict system was a barrier to free government but

now as a rich guy he's like it's fucking it's the shit now that I'm rich I realize how great it is the grass is always greener and it's getting a little everybody get someone over there it's crap so all this government shit he's not enjoying taxing land making him to pay to squat taking away his cheap labor so he's like I got to find a new place to exploit yeah and there was New Zealand oh Jesus Christ did he go through Norfolk Island or it's on the way oh yeah I've heard that right straight shot oh is it a straight shot no north or south north folk come on buddy you know the way we go which way are you coming

from so so people had started buying huge plots of land for nothing from the Maori and William bought a hundred thousand acres in 1838 in 1839 it's a lot to buy but when you hear the price was nothing it seems like unders yeah he wasn't greedy and now missionaries in New Zealand are getting worried about all the land grabbers buying land because they're buying it with guns and the Maori are using them to kill each other Maori Maori okay it's okay now that I mean sometimes we're being petty this is a good one to get right yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah what just happened it's all calm down Dave's

gonna challenge a lot of duels yeah I don't know what he was he just yell the same thing other people yell no was he being more of a counter less of a kind no no less he was being like correct yeah he was being correct yeah was he correcting them or was it correcting well they were closer than you were but he was right on so he's right over there yeah yeah hey so they were wrong so if I say it like they did I'll be wrong and he'll yell at me yeah yeah so anyway they're killing each other which is apparently the least thing over this whole story so the missionaries are begging the British to do something so

Captain William Hobson was set to negotiate a treaty with the M so he's trying to get them to cede sovereignty to Queen Victoria so that way they would have more control over the landgrabbers and and then purchasing land from the native people would not be guaranteed so it's like a end-around sort of weird it's kind of hard to it's like who's whose side am I on right now what if nobody ticks their land but that's not an option right yeah of course so yeah do you have ID they're like oh my god oh my god get the schooner yeah we were born here we don't need you don't understand the law of your land white

people so William hears on New Year's Eve that his 100,000 acres might be gone oh my god what will I live on all that other land so former chiefs worried about a large gun for land sale that they hear about they come to Sydney trying to get the Queen's protection and William acts as their attorney I've got this yeah you need someone like me in your life so yeah he acts as their attorney in negotiations with the governor and I think our attorney's horrible afterwards he has them sign a deed which gave him and the captain who brought them over pretty much the entire South Island of New Zealand so they're

like finally we're gonna fight the system he's like you don't have any land anymore damn judge anyway I guess I get all of that the system just fucks you and fucks you speaking of that I made one of your ladies pregnant while I have a witness and he gave them 200 pounds oh my god don't eat I mean unless the end of this sentences of coca of diamonds an annual pensions between 20 pounds and 10 pounds and for that he got 20 million acres oh my fucking god I know what a fucking deal yeah yeah I mean how many fake wives and babies can you buy by the way I need this I have a million yeah excuse me a little breathing room

finally 20 million million million he's also one of the richest fucking guys in Australia oh god they never like Jeff Bezos to be like chill chill chill chill chill yeah what's your legs man you're coming off a little greedy you okay Jesus Christ what are you gonna buy Twitter calm down what are you nuts by the way though he absolutely would have been great on Twitter like his tweets would arrive so he tells them not to tell the governor about the deal until they had signed away their sovereignty to the Queen so he's trying to find a loophole whereas the contract that he did with them looks like it's not signed until after the

Queen's sovereignty deal goes through so then he does have a guarantee to it right it doesn't sound shady no not at all but the governor finds out and he's fucking pissed a treaty is signed with hundreds of Maori's it says spam that's not the right word it was not in our inbox but just hundreds of these of the tribes signed this treaty and Queen Victoria has sovereignty over New Zealand and guaranteed the chiefs exclusive and understated possession of their land okay and they could only sell land of Britain that's great yes we think it was so unfair we finally seen the light no no no but you could sell it

to us if you like that would be lovely actually if you know I'm saying that lovely smashing we own 20 million did you feel better so that a bill was introduced to erase previous land buys that were unfair to the Maori well not all of them and William was pointed out as example number one of the most horrific fuck he tries to argue that they should be able to do what they want with their land and sell it to whoever they want they should be legally allowed to be ripped off by a white man that's what he's like well I should be able to rip them off come on and then it turns out the governor found out that he'd

gotten them drunk before signing the contract well oh come on and it's a contract in English so I don't even know what the fuck it said well then why would he was like just to be safe I'm gonna get him hammered yeah covering every yeah fucking base here Gibbs quote he will never get one acre one foot one shilling for the land which he bought he is not yet safe from prosecution for conspiracy he purchased a whole island at the rate of 400 acres for a penny oh my god he was like they screwed me come on that is fucking crazy when I can't get over 20 million

acres yeah so the bill is passed he's does not have that land anymore okay and sir by the way that's the interest rate guy yeah it's bullshit he's probably related to him we've got one homeowner one developer that's it and then the governor remove William from the list of suitable legislative council members so William wants fucking revenge on governor Gibbs Gibbs is told by the British to give Aboriginal people the same legal rights as other citizens of the Empire when's that gonna happen he said cool your jets cops cops won't like that there were and say cool your jet like what's a jet it gets very hot I

would imagine so there's obviously major conflicts over land and food and one led to the massacre of 28 Aboriginal people after a cow was speared the governor had the stockman arrested a bunch were acquitted but by some miracle seven of these Europeans were found guilty and hanged wow and yeah that's the last time and they're the only seven who've ever paid for the crime William was very upset because this was a precedent yeah hurt his ability to clear land yeah yeah he called the hangings judicial murder now he sounds like an American yeah yeah in 1841 a depression hit and sheep dropped to one 15th of their

former worth we're just so down we don't even want to grow anymore just feel like I've gone from a white shape to a black shape William is obviously obviously a little worried about this and so William and the other sheep owners turn their flocks into basically soap and candles oh good the sheep are like wait what I'm still I'm I hear you I'm still a sheep though like I'm still the same well that was two weeks ago what do you mean here's the good news okay we're done cheering you just become ridiculous okay great cuz I yeah I need a little bit of work down then but I'm well we got you a side gig okay yeah yeah cool what

uh what am I doing we're going just right because right now it always seemed barbaric tape taking all the you know what I mean it just seemed like I got I like the part where I get to walk around and eat though for a few months and then I come in for a haircut well no we're gonna make you candles I'm sorry you're gonna turn you all into candles turn me into a candle yeah that sounds your side gig like all of you and I don't even think it's gonna be easy to be quite honest I'm not sure how this even will work but we're gonna try it with all of you is this are you gonna shave me for that yeah actually nothing pointed out

yeah I guess we will have to share you for that so there's no good news we're gonna have to share you and then you'll all be candles how many candles do people need hopefully a fuck ton because this is things are bad bad I'm not gonna be that guy I'm not gonna be that guy I'm not gonna be that guy but um so the governor governor get slashes government spending by two-thirds William survives but he suffers a lot he had been here's the tragic thing of all this he had been planning to convert his house into a mansion but now he can man this guy doesn't get anything right yeah I wanted to move my 19 families under

one big roof now I guess I'll have to keep riding but after the whole New Zealand situation William is in some pretty bad shape politically and he hadn't kept convict assignment going which upset his squatter base Britain stopped transportation to New South Wales in 1840 so sweet cheap labor is wrapping up and William said he wanted to spend more time with his family and quit public life which family how many a lot of options it's gonna be like the bachelor but with families yeah you're all gonna compete he garden he entered floral and horticulture shows and won a contest with a huge peach nothing you

from ism well finally I can get on board this what happens to rich people though like you still the shit they're like I grow a giant peach and everyone's like I love you yeah well yeah there's no like I mean you know if you're that rich there's no account I mean you are saying like yeah my life took a dark turn now I can just grow steroid peaches I've lost so much I'm the victim anyway look at the size of this fucking peach imagine the pit inside of this thing I mean I just even loved the idea that it was a competition but who's got the biggest

the Australian quote his day is gone by his opinion is worth nothing then in 1842 Britain approved a new South Wales legislative council you had to be a man who owned land worth 200 pounds or rent for 20 pounds a year okay and have peaches and have peaches a big guy yeah about this this is about 30% of dudes in the colony so Williams like oh that's me and he runs his opponent is named William hustler not great no no I mean that really gives you a leg up I'm gonna start a magazine for the whole fucking colony you see everything every goddamn part my lips wet I feel really good for everyone who's listening to this

podcast who is not getting that visual yeah absolutely absolutely and William hustler went after William for being a coolly immigrant supporter William who was actually very racist okay you're gonna actually have to differentiate between the Williams you're telling a story where they're both called William yeah yeah yeah well I'm talking about our William yeah we'll just please hustler yeah okay that's fair I'm calling hustler hustler William okay cool thank you because I because I am also William yeah when you're well this is a lot for me to be taking finally a shitty William enjoy this well we find an asshole

yeah that's a fantastic so so William is actually a racist who previously said Indian immigration was bad because it would lead to the racist mixing so hustler's angle is like this guy's not a racist that he's like I'm super racist asshole yeah how dare you I'm the worst well he that's who we used to be right but now without convicts as freed labor now he's suddenly super pro Indian immigration so worries he's been on the record so yeah I mean everything has just been based on financial status yeah what where he's at right there right right cool hustler's slogan was quote vote for hustler and no coollies just

couldn't throw that up on the right on election day William was ahead so a mob of his opponent supporters which the Sydney Morning Herald called quote infuriated Irishman attacked and destroyed a Wentworth campaign tent accessories now the guy who was running Williams campaign tent was a whaling ship captain so he had his guys attack the Irish with harpoons wow that is the original that's not a knife the violence then spread to other tents and whatnot and voting voting was suspended and riots went on all day so they I mean it's just a few harpoons

and you're canceling a vote yeah one person was killed that's it but boy was he killed you've never seen someone killed like this is the this guy got fucking killed he looked like a voodoo dolly was like the next day so he made her poems deep you're gonna live mate I highly doubt it honestly not feeling great I'm the last bloody harpoon. So, so nice and feeling bloody pink cushion. Ten cutty and ten cutty, her poons fucking hurt.

If I don't make it. Oh, Christ, that's a big peach. So voting resumed the next day. We took shots of harpoons of some of the other guys. It's so funny when this guy gets it though. He's losing his mind. I love they just go back to voting the next day like a horrible harpoon event. Well, yeah, someone was like, did we figure out a way to figure it?

You know, some guy put up a sign that was like, no harpoons. It should be good. I think this will probably fix it. No harpoons within 100 yards of the polling station. But everywhere else, they're fine because you don't want to just give it to all harpoons. Freedom. You're not taking away my harpoon. I should be allowed to go in a restaurant with my harpoon strapped to my chest

like a freedom-loving American. You can have my harpoon when you get it out of my cold wet head. The only way to stop school harpoonings is to give the teachers harpoons. Harpoons. Love of God. You'll be ridiculous. It's the way, it's how we are raised. When I was seven, I learned how to harpoon my first whale.

God, America's fucking crazy. So, he wins. William wins the election. Just because it's like running against the guy who's worse. Yeah, basically. Afterward, he traveled out to Cumberland where James MacArthur was running and campaigned against him. So he's still fucking mad at the MacArthur's.

Yeah. So he's just like stump-speaching just for... Just for vengeance. Right, cool. And his support is key. He's recently elected, right? Yeah, right. He doesn't need to.

Yeah, but also everyone's voted for him to like help run the join. And he's like, you know what I'm going to do? Go and campaign against someone else, somewhere else. Don't you have work to do? No. Okay. Job number one. Fuck MacArthur.

What's their harpoon policy? Well, his old friend Lawson was running against MacArthur. So he campaigns for Lawson and MacArthur loses. And his support was key, they say. You're applauding, but is anybody good? No. When the Legislative Council met, everyone wore frock coats and top hats, except William, who was in Squatter's Quotaroys,

which the Australian called, quote, a contemptible affectation. He's still trying to act like a man of the people with all of his fucking bullshit. Right. William was an opposition leader against Gipp's government, and he introduced bills to help Squatters during the Depression, capping interest rates and allowing Squatters to mortgage their sheep. What?

You know what? You never heard of a sheep, please? Yeah. What the fuck? He argued that England had once allowed mortgaging of human beings. Oh, great start. Yeah. But unlike property, sheep, so they, that was, he,

so it was passed, but then England was like, what the fuck are you doing? So to England, he argues, well, you guys had slaves and you could mortgage people. And then, but unlike property, sheep break legs and could be killed, so Britain vetoed the mortgage your sheep thing. But what does that even look like? Mortgaging a sheep? Yeah. No fucking idea.

I read. I mean, you would just pay like a sheep fee? You put some down. And then you like get the sheep and then some guys like, hey. You put some down on a sheep. Right, you put that down payment. You get it, you go to the bank. Right.

And you get a sheep loan. Right. And then you pay the farmer for the sheep and then you pay the bank. Right. And then eventually the bankers like, this is a subprime sheep loan. Yeah. This will be fine. And then there's a big chili bone payment.

Yeah, right. And then you're like, oh, I lost my sheep. Yeah. And then nobody from Wall Sheep gets prosecuted. Right. Right. And they come and they, and they foreclose on your sheep. That just means they pick it up.

It's called fur closing. Yeah. But I, I, I wish, I desperately wish that you could still mortgage sheep because I just think it's awesome. Yeah. Oh, no, no. I don't want to be pie dye shaped. So don't worry.

So as usual, he goes after the high salaries of government again. Fat cats. He questions that Governor Gibbs is making the same as the US president. But when he was nominated for Speaker, he quickly put forth a motion to double the Speaker's salary. Right. He's consistent. You're going to say that, right?

That's great. Then he said the Speaker should have a dinner allowance. What the fuck? I mean, he's a little boy. Yeah. And that didn't go over well. And the council mocked him to his face and people on the street started mocking into his face.

To his face. Yeah. To his face. I also love that it's the dinner allowance where people have drawn the line. Finally. Up until then, they're like, no, let's keep electing this. No, if you want a dinner allowance. Yeah.

No pateams for this guy. William polled the motions and declined the nomination. But it was. Because of the dinner allowance? Yeah. Over the dinner. It's going to take 20 million acres. Okay.

A bunch of his allies then stopped associating with him after this. So it just completely destroyed his whole situation. So he then makes different alliance. So he just aligns with different people. Whoever likes. I'll work with you now. And he passed the Waste Lands Occupation Act in 1846 that solidified squatter control. Now farmers could not buy land squatters occupied.

So this, this favors squatters than everyone else was kind of fucked. So even guys who are pro-squatter are like, that's what the fuck are you doing? That's too much. By 1850 squatters controlled land from the coastal border with South Australia to southern Queensland. He wins his next election. Right. Because nobody pays the fuck attention to anything anymore.

Right. Or back then. Yeah. Back then people didn't pay attention to it. Yeah. Unlike now when voters are very keyed in. So now, after all this time, his financial interests and political interests are completely aligned with James MacArthur, his old enemy.

Oh my God. No. I hope he adopts it. Yeah. So he has gone from being the common man's champ to just now being the rich guy. And he says he will back MacArthur for Speaker, but MacArthur turned it down because there was no dinner allowance. Dinner allowance seems like a real sticky.

So he was a really poor guy who was a champion of the people and then he made money and then he lost connections with the poor people and then he made connections with the rich people and then he'd lose connections with them and he'd just keep moving around. And in the end you thought, what the fuck is going on with this cunt? So essentially, he's the original Dave Hughes. That's what's going on there. With a peach. I just got back, what happened?

Sorry, I had to go to the bathroom for a minute. I know that won't work for you guys, but people listening at home was not there, didn't you even hear? That was so quick. You were gone for literally 35 seconds. That was amazing. You could see me really quickly, didn't you? Yeah.

It's nice to be back though. Oh, by the way, I didn't mean to bring this up before the show. Is there a dinner allowance? As an American comedian, I stay out of international comic warfare. And international comedy in general. Anyway, shots fired. Will's back from the bathroom. He's gone again.

So William still wants to break away from England, but now he wants to set up an Australian aristocracy. So Governor Gibbs pushes the bill to allow Aboriginal people to give evidence in court, and Williams furious, and he fights it. I don't think that should be allowed. That move for no reason. He says it would be, quote, quite as defensible to receive as evidence in a court of justice the chatterings of the orangutan.

Oh, my God. This is one of your guys, uh, hero, the great people. Again, I can just ask that no one bring up the orangutan. Like I've already said it, like I've heard about the mincer. Yeah. What's happening down there? It's, remember Justin said it was like a orangutan going through a mincer. Is this person like an Australian hero?

But don't do right wing, like would Skomo be like he's a great man? He's absolutely, absolutely not an Australian hero. We absolutely did not name an electorate that our foreign prime minister represented after. Yeah. That didn't happen. Definitely didn't happen. Definitely didn't happen. Yeah.

And that electorate certainly isn't an electorate that favours the most wealthily and outreach people and landowners. Absolutely. Never happened. Yeah. Yeah. And I know that because that's where I have to vote. Yeah.

Well, to be fair, we didn't do that in America either. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. Good for you and us. That's awesome. So GIFs bill to allow Aboriginal people to give evidence in court is defeated.

Months later, the owner of the Kangaroo Creek station poisons seven Aboriginal men and the only witnesses were other Aboriginal men because Williams stopped the bill. They could not testify and the killer walked. Jesus Christ. 1848 was a year of revelations, revelations, resolutions. Not revelations, no. They were still waiting on that year. Revolutions across the world.

Many people who did not have power fought for and wanted all of this very much upset William. He had once created a petition for voting rights of, quote, the entire free population, excluding women, Aboriginals and foreigners, of course, and he now, quote, agreed that the ancient and venerable constitution that treated those who had no property as infants or idiots unfit to have any voice in the management of the state. But peaches should vote. Big ones.

Big ones. Big ones. Big ones. So he's in a tight spot, though, because he was a rep in an urban area but backed the rural squatters and he was afraid the working class would rise up against him very specifically. So he stopped arguing for the self-rule for a bit. In 1850, Britain passed the Australian Colonies Government Act and New South Wales could now come up with the ways to vote for two houses of parliament.

So who did they pick to lead the reform? William Hustler. A fellow named William Wentworth. He tacked an old-squatter ally for supporting the vote for all men, quote, wherever the principle of universal suffrage has prevailed, it has been the signal for a massacre and bloodshed. He hated the idea of Australia being a federation with states having separate local governments that sent members of Congress to essential government, and when he spoke against it,

his fellow legislative council members jeered at the crazy idea that happened. But he knows an elected legislature is inevitable, so he switches it up, hey, this guy, are there two of him? Arguing men who paid more taxes should get more representation. For sure. But not Sydney merchants, they didn't actually produce anything. And Sydney had, quote, really nothing to represent except a large mass of people, the most vacillating ignorant and misled body of people in the colony.

Yeah, but look at that water, bitch. A lot of pride. Obviously this means he's done as a representative of Sydney. On what grounds? He wanted to be on a reformed legislative council that could veto the assembly's law, and his idea, as the leader of the reform, was for a council made up of squatters with inherited seats. Only those members who could serve on future councils, William Wentworth, was basically

offering nobility, which is what his old enemy, John MacArthur, wanted. So it was like sheep kings and their sheep princes ruling from a house of lords for generations. You would just pass down your seat to the next kid, and that would be the government of Australia. Based on sheep ownership, essentially. Ownership. That's kind of what it is, anyway. Opponents protested, William was mocked for being rich and drunk, as was James MacArthur,

and William's... They're both like, ah, I mean, these two. Fuck already. Yeah, William's... Just get on with it. How many seasons do we have to go through this? And William's awesome sheep nobility government plan was dead on arrival. The legislative council agreed to a constitution with new council members appointed for life,

but with no ancient titles or being passed to sons. And the new constitution had to be passed by British Parliament. William is now completely unelectable, but a really good speaker. So I love that the guy who sounded like syrup in a foghorn, they're like, get him up on stage. This guy's unbelievable. It's like jammed through a duvet, this guy. So the council, who just said his plan was shit, and they sent him to England to advocate

for the first Australian constitution. And so he goes there and he lobbies for it, and it's passed in July 1855. So William was hailed as the father of Australian representative government, even though he was against it. He adopted it like its own. And he stays in Britain. Life doesn't go well. His daughter died, and then his son.

His son went insane from chemicals and batteries that he was developing. What? Okie dokie? Hey, Ron. Alright. It's a little side story there. It's his side. It's like a real, another episode of the adult.

Let's hear about this battery wizard. That's what, like, his last move was making the watch battery. They were like, he's gone mad. But William did return to New South Wales in 1861. 1861. We got that. Yes. We got that.

Hey! Now, was it James 24th? You were just charting a course, weren't you, daddy? Pod pops. That's probably where I got that date from. So he came back. This is a new theme for you. Just shout the date where the story ends.

So he comes back to campaign for land reform and an elected legislative council thinks he had been 100% completely against, but the legislative council offered him the presidency of the legislative council and a 1,200 pound salary. The exact type of large salary he used to rail against. But was there a dinner allowance? Better have been. No mention. So he goes back to England and died at 81 in 1872.

Six to nine months later, he was given a state funeral in Australia. How many months later? Six to nine months. Oh, right. Damn. I thought that would be the most Australian thing of all time. Yeah, yeah. Amazing.

70,000 people lined the route. Wow. 300 native born, the currency lads walked in front. But they were furious because they were joined by six, quote, barefoot and bedraggled aboriginals. The Sydney Morning Herald reported that they were clearly unwelcome, which disputed their claim to be, quote, native Australians. Today William Wattworth is known for pushing self-government for the Australian colonies. Wow.

What the fuck? Yeah. I mean, and one giant peach. Yeah. What happened to the peach? Yeah. The peach got put into a sheep. Wow.

Really? They thought it would turn into a double sheep. Instead, it just kind of melted. I feel like you're lying. The sources are Andrew Tinks, William Charles Wentworth, Australia's greatest native son, and David Hunt's true grit. Jesus Christ. Right.

He was just a fuck it. I read that. I'm like, oh, he's an American politician. Yeah. Right? Like, it's the first, like, he just, whatever, whichever way the wind blows personally. Yeah, that's what I'll do. And yeah, I'll help myself out and make a bunch of money.

But everyone else who founded this joint was good though, right? Yeah. You know, you guys were, you guys are awesome people. I couldn't find anything else wrong with this country. Yeah. You're really, really good, and you're getting better. Yeah. You're picking better leaders.

What the fuck is going on? Sir. Well, that's inappropriate. Sir. I don't. Your bow wouldn't be wrapped that that wasn't comprehensive in anymore, I would have thought. Yeah, it is weird because I think like, I mean, we're, we, you deal with such evil politicians now that, you know, you just forget how awful people have, I mean, this dude is just the

fucking worst. Yeah. And like, it's just all based on, you know, personal position, which it is now. And money. How much fucking money did he need? I know. It's like, it's so, it's so psychotic. They, like the fact that he tried to own a New Zealand and you're like, wow, what do

you fucking need? 20 million acres is just like, look, here's the one thing I will say, obviously it was terrible that like he conned the 90 people that, well, he didn't in the end. So this was why. Yeah. But he did for a minute. He was like, those two days are like fucking eight. That's a story to tell for the rest of your life, the day that you let fucking bought

half of New Zealand. Oh yeah. Do you mean like, if you're like at the bar in England talking about, yeah, I invented the constitution in Australia and also once owned for a brief minute, half of New Zealand. Yeah. And that's the greatest thing you ever did. You're like, you got to see a picture with this fucking peach. I got two.

You grow peaches this size. You need some land. But let me tell you, you don't grow peaches this size and need, you know, 10 million acres. That's bullshit. Plus I got eight families. I'm a league. I'm a living nightmare. I've adopted 19 of my own children.

Thank you everybody for coming out. We appreciate it. Give it up for Will Anderson. Justin Ableton. Thank you. Thank you. Bless you. Bless you.

Bless you, bless you.