The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 55 - The Past Times with Bec Charlwood

Episode Date: December 22, 2023

This week Dave Anthony picks a paper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and comedian Bec Charlwood Redbubble Merch

Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date, history picked up by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither of us are guests this week. Back, charlotte. Hello, back. Thank you for joining us. Hello, look, I have to say I don't know if I haven't seen it because I haven't seen

it before. So maybe I have seen it before what I don't know if I haven't seen it because I haven't seen it before. So I maybe I have seen it before, I don't know. So it's just kind of hard to find that out. It would be really weird if you've seen this paper. It would be really weird. And well, let's promote your special. You have a special on the YouTube's. It's called Bipolar Baby.

Big mystery what it's about. You like to watch it to find out. Yep, it's a real who said it. I'm hoping you had a baby and it's by Paula already. Yeah, two babies in separate poles. One in the North, one in the South. That's a great story. They are twins, so we had to fly mid-birth,

which was the doctor said no, but healthcare is free here, so it was fine. That doesn't make it true. Free healthcare sounds like there's got to be a catch. And you have a new podcast with Alex J friend to show friend a dollop world friend a Dave's friend of mine that comes out next year that people should keep an eye on Yes subscribe to our old podcast feed dude cinema or as Dave you called it the Girls guide to male cinema

Which was the sweetest shout out and the cutest miss half of the name. I couldn't remember I was trying it was on the tip of my head. He tried and there wasn't. And he tried and we appreciate that. We love you for it. And that's when they decided to end the podcast. Yeah, that does definitely the kill shot without questioning. Okay, well I like to, we guess this time Dave? Yep.

All right, I'm going to guess a year this paper is from, back I encourage you to do the same. Could be anywhere from one. Wrong. Sorry. I'm going to say 1972. Nice. Oh so much closer.

It is 1957. Oh, good. I'm excited. What happened back then? November 5th, 1957. Guy Fox on the town. The town is Alamagoro, Alamagordo, New Mexico. The Alamagordo they invented the out.

He can tell it's a great place because nobody has heard of it. Yep. So big story, big fucking story on page one. Egg shaped UFO stalls cars on highway. Whoa, Mark. Whoa. I've never had a food to describe a UFO ship before. Eggs?

We do that in America. I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot of them. I've seen a lot of them. I've seen a lot of them. We call them burger saucers. Yeah. Hot dogs, saucers. Yeah, our UTSO unidentified taco-shaped object.

We do a lot of that stuff. Yeah, we refer to the sky as dipping sauce. America, we like to eat here, so we do a lot of that. But I don't like the egg-shaped one, because a little too healthy. No, well, yeah. Frankly, I was scared, says Stokes of Experience with UFO. Sure. It all happened so fast that I don't know

whether I can give you the answers you want or not was the way that James Stokes opened an interview this morning relative to the unidentified flying object. He saw yesterday afternoon near Ovo Grande. I mean, great hook. I don't know if I can tell you. It's like he's already with holding sacred. Yeah, he's like, man, my brain is so scrambled from this thing that.

Oh, because it was an egg Well, that's it there's gonna be a lot of egg jokes if I know Garrett Reynolds unidentified frying object We're gonna go ahead and shut the podcast down now Why did they omelet it go through our air space? Okay, that's one too many egg yolks, please, Garrett. Oh, yes. Yes. Yes. This is beautiful. Yes. The whole experience is weird, and frankly, I was scared to death,

but I'll tell you what I can, he said. Well, that's like a lot of like the UFO stuff, where it's like, man, if I could tell you, be crazy, but I'm not sure I... It's a great... It's a lot of preamble, too. It feels like they're really trying to fill a work out. stuff for it's like man I could tell you'd be crazy but I'm not sure I a lot of preamble too it feels like I'm really trying to fill away the whole thing. Stokes reported that while driving on Highway 54 about 10 miles south of

Oral Grande yesterday afternoon at 110 he noticed that his car radio began to fade out and then the engine of his car radio began to fade out, and then the engine of his car slowed and finally quit. I'm dead. I thought it was very strange, but did notice that other cars had pulled off, so I did too, and the motor of my car quit entirely. I got out of the car and noticed another fellow pointing toward the sky. So I had a good look myself. And there was coming in from the northeast was the object. It swooped on toward Oro Grande and headed out north. It disappeared quickly. We watched Skyward. And it came in once more on the same path and headed out north once more and we watched

and tell it had disappeared and that is all there is to it. Okay. Okay. Well, he's pretty succinctly explain the situation there for someone who was like, I couldn't tell you. Now here's the little detail. Yeah. It got the whole thing.

I don't know what happened and then it came from the left. Well, it's also like you'd be hard to like you just like say to this guy like you're an extra In the movie of this you're really just like some you just like guys What? Not as much as the point in guy. He's pointy guys. Yeah, pointy guy's not featured extra. That's for sure This guy's lines get cut, but still he had should extra that's for sure this guy's lines get cut but still the ad the object was rather egg-shaped the color of an egg or perhaps mother of pearl color

what okay this is doctor swathe who is who is this what what he's working for penitenti. Hey, what's happening? It was a, it was a smoky milk. Have I told you that I'm a painter? Yeah, I would, I would classify it as egg-shaped with a latte foam shade. What was the patent on it? Was there like a gradient or something? Egg.

Very egg. That's fair. They like a gradient or something egg Very Yeah, yeah, now I get the picture. It was a big bright white So it's out of the shell big bright white. Yeah, yeah Hone in on the egg a little more for me Because if I just say egg people are gonna get confused What do you want me to say? Why a picture an egg, but it makes your car stop Shit now I get it now. Yeah, yeah

It was definitely a solid material thing, but there was able to tell that because I was on the ground You know how you can always tell something. No. Oh, well, I can. Yep. You were on the ground. And it was definitely hard. I'm sorry, I was hard. There'll be no more questions. Sir, was this an egg? Could have been. Oh, was this an egg? Could have been. Oh, was this something else going on? Skytits.

Thank you for joining us. Thank you. I don't know how to do it. I'm OK. This sounds like what happened in closing counters. I wonder if he took, do you remember when they were on a road and the car stops and there's people there? And I don't even remember that movie. You don't remember that movie?

There is, there's definitely a point where there, no, no, we didn't do it on the old podcast. We're not, but I haven't seen it. You mean the girls guy demand movies the girls guy to mail cinema now. I didn't cover Nia. Yeah, I don't remember It definitely there definitely was when they were on the road it has a very But I feel like this is in every alien movie. I guess it is right the car stops But but the thing about there's a bunch of people on a freeway who are like what the hell I'm Wait for the pull oh no

All right, that's fair It goes on forever extremely high speed Stokes is a veteran of 24 years with the Navy Uh now retired Oh absolutely trying to fill a word can't come on. Yeah, they're really, yeah. Judging from the distance, the object covered and the extremely short time it took to cover it, I judging it must have been traveling at a rate of Mach 1 or Mach 2, he said.

Okay. I mean, I don't know if I got any details for you. Well, she was going Mach 1 or 2 at least. I don't know anything. It was, I don't know what to tell any details for you. Well, she was going mock one or two at least. I don't know anything. I don't know what to tell you. mock one or mock two. But that really is for an egg. That's quite an egg acceleration.

That's a fast. God damn it. Oh, yeah. A poaching at a standing spades. The suck it, Dave. Again, I must point out that these are purely guesses and that I was scared, that time was so short, but there were people from six other cars watching the same thing,

the object appeared to be at 1,500 to 3,000 feet in altitude. Stop it. Well, this guy is like, I don't know anything, but it was Mark Wondermark, too. I couldn't tell you I was so startled, about 2,000 feet. I would guess to meet This is like another level of like he's got fight flight and then take detailed notes of the encounter That's what he does in a panic. Yeah What do they when things get scary to me my my brain remembers everything?

Every little detail. I'm so jealous. I fall down on the ground like a dead bug when I play. Yeah Right, you do something or you pretend you fake your dead. I'm so jealous. I fold down on the ground like a dead bug when I play. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, you do a awesome thing, where you pretend you fake your dead. I get it. So WSPG pickets mark fireball at Trinity site. Is high air force and government officials today were investigating the report of a hollow man missile engineer of citing a brilliant egg-shaped

object, which he said stalled several cars on the El Paso Highway. Hollman spokesman said the background experience of James Stokes redded him competent in observing flying objects. This is a new article, the same article. This is a new article. the same article. This is a new article. About the same, Aging County. Yeah, say, yeah. More, more, uh, it's, they were, they were accepting Stokes report is bona fide.

So they, they believe him. He says, 10 cars were stopped. He described the office coming from the North Rhys and this just repeats everything. It's just said that six cars stopped. He's adding cars. Now it's 10. Now it's 10 piece, everything. But it also just said that six cars stopped. He's adding cars. Now it's 10. Now it's 10. 30 cars. This is the rest of the... It's the rest of the...

It's the rest of this paper, just different perspectives. Just keep turning it. Yes, just handling the car. We'll be able to open it in the car. Adding cars. 50 car cars. How many cars? 70.

Uh, also, I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. I'm going to be able to open it. car's 50 car car. How many cars 70? Also a huge oval object nearly as bright as the sun was reported hovering over the bunker used in the first A-bomb explosion at Trinity site. This is a separate UFO situation so now there's a fireball hanging out over where they set off the first A-bomb. Interesting.

I wonder what that could be. Sure, it's fine. Yep. It's not the souls of a bunch of people coming up. White sands, priving grounds, personnel stationed at the site witnessed the Trinity Ball of Fire during regular patrols of the area over the weekend. The sightings were reported by two different patrols of too many each. This is exciting, like this.

This should be from Pagerdeus. It's a giant fireball. This is probably had like 40 years of souvenir selling based on this event. Yeah. Just all eggs, just eggs, just hollowed out. I mean, so cheap as well. Just an egg. This is just an egg.

Why is it $18? Do you want it or not, asshole? Oh, yes. All right, well, moving on. It was exciting, it was exciting. It was exciting. Mystery radio tone puzzles. This is out of New York.

A mysterious radio signal not emanating from Russia's new Sputnik is baffling shortwave listeners and government officials. Well, it's got to be connected to the fucking fireball. No, stop. Put it together. I don't care if it's in New York. If something's fucking up here, if something's fucking up your radio waves,

and something's across the country, like, hey, man, there's a fireball. What? Put it together. This country would rather be like, it is aliens than like, the Russians are doing better in space than us. We're so quickly to be like, there's a problem with the radio wave. Nothing to do with Sputnik. We think there's a dragon.

It's gotta be those sky eggs that I've had so much to ask. Sky eggs. Sputnik, you sound crazy. It's a sky egg, you idiot. An NBC broadcast said the signal is being heard near the satellites frequency, but it is on a different tonal pattern. It isn't classified, this is the FCC spokesman, it isn't classified, we just don't know what

it is. The last month, shortly after Sputnik went aloft, several radio-hams in Phoenix, Arizona, reported hearing a series of strange signals adjacent to the frequency used by the Russian satellite. At that time, government officials in Washington, who declined to be unidentified, even as to agency, said they were unable to discuss the matter, except to say the signals were not connected to Sputnik in any way. They just don't, they would never, they'll never give it up.

It was like, it feels like like it feels like Sputnik. No, no, wouldn't be. Okay. Well, that's a kind of. All right, because like anywhere else. Okay. It's a nice button. It's trash. It's basically like they put a card in the sky.

It's not far as I know it can't make a sound. It's that. Actually, I heard this sound. It sounded like a little fart. sound, it's that dark. Actually, I heard this sound, it sounded like a little fart. It's not a good. Yeah, there's no words. It's terrible, weak piece of shit. It really is not good.

Okay, well what answered you guys have then possibly, if it's not? Chickens? We believe it's sky chickens. Sky chickens, it's shooting eggs, shooting space eggs. At us, which tracks, yeah, American chickens, or space chickens. And also, we have a new-

Not nothing new, it's butnick, unrelated to Russians. We do also have a new ball of fire that we unveiled at a desert. Pretty excited about it. What is the ball of fire come from? Is that from the- Not Russia, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't know if you're gonna say about it. I don't think that's a place. I think it's a place. Actually, we just did recently notice

that it is not in some garage. That's right. So, Sputnik's not real, there's no rush. Oh, boy, I'm just... Moving on. Yeah. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Well, I hope whatever tension this is,

it cools down in the next 70 years. Yeah. Yeah, well for sure. We'll calm down. We will cool them down. Don't worry about that. Air Force won't do bears wrong. Finally. He's about to treat God damn.

Is. Yeah. He's between the air force and fly. Let them fly. Couldn't agree war is over. America is going to be the first country to let a bear fly a point. I would watch that. 100%. Lovers of bears may now relax.

Finally, the Air Force doesn't plan to do wrong to backster. Oscar or the other two black bears. Can I ask why they're not naming the other like you've named half of the bears. Yeah, but then all the names boring, you know, the other bears have they've done a peace trade or something. What is it in government when you sign something to get out of another crime? That's called joining a union? They're part of the Bay Union so that you know, absolve from... That might have been it.

They might have joined a Bay Union and they're like, look, we're not doing names. It's belittling. And when we're back, it's just like you lazy bears with your union back in my day, we used to just work hard Call me bear That's all we're all equal here So the other two black bears that just received from a Catskill, New York game farm

Cool farm. Yeah game farm. That's where you use the buy video games back then. The four bears averaging one and a half years old and about 150 pounds arrived at the Air Force Aeromedical Field Laboratory We'd like to fly Oh, it's at the Air Force Missile Development Center. Oh, that's worry. They just showed up. I think they might be talking, thinking about putting bears in the space. We like to fly and shoot missiles.

Sorry, we should have clarified. Because the Russians like, we're gonna put a dog in the space. So we're gonna want to put a bear in the space. We're gonna put a dog in space. And we're just like, you think that's something? We got a space elephant, you fucking Ruskies. Name a better country.

Yeah, this is, this is, we are going, so they put a dog into space, I think in Sputnik, or maybe in Sputnik II, but they put a dog into space, so we're like, wouldn't it be funny? Cause they're, what? The Russia symbol is the bear. If we put a bear in space,

that's what we're doing right now. That's a funny mix of satellite. They didn't put a dog inside, they weren't like, we're gonna put it. Really? With a dog making. They weren't like we're gonna put it really With a dog making its lonely journey around the earth in Russia's Sputnik 2 What were people to think when the four bears arrived here? Wow

There's no way we were not thinking about shooting bears into space The I I'm sorry. I'm not there yet. They put a dog in a satellite. Oh, you don't know that? I didn't know there was a dog living in the satellite. Well, it didn't live very long. Me and, yeah, I was gonna say, me and Will did a fofop where we slowly went through the story together as we both learned it. And that dog just kinda dies up in space.

Yeah, well, you can't, like like I don't know what the plan was. There was no plan. It was to put it into space and then that's the end of the book. We'll just call him home once he's up there. Boy! Hahaha! Come back to Earth! Wow. Get a tennis ball in the gravity open.

Yeah, go get him boy! Yeah, here it comes. You'll see a and go for it. So it isn't so said the Air Force late yesterday. All their Air Force. There it is. Paul Jerk. No.

All they are going to do with the four Bruins is add them to the existing zoo, which already contains chimpanzees, monkeys, giddy pigs, mice, and hogs, which is all we are as a missile center with a zoo. Just gonna say, you cannot convince me that you are just like, what do you want? We just have a bunch of animals

that I suppose could fit into space capsules. The astronauts, they want to say goodbye to nature before they go into space. That's all. Alright, well listen, you're going to have a tough mission today. Would you like to get into this tub of guinea pigs before you put your life on the line? Have a roll around and some puppies would you? The Air Force said it didn't have any plans to send the young bears up into outer space. By the way, nobody asked.

Well, we're not going to send these bears into space. Nobody actually put that question to you, sir. Great, because that would be a ludicrous question. We're not even thinking of doing it. We have helmets for them, but not to go do it. What? Why would you do that? We made them, though. Why would you do that? Why would you do that?

But the Christmas cards were gonna send. It's funny. It's a gag. Yeah. So it's a... And by the way, for the record asshole, they would probably be okay. The way we've talked about doing it. But we won't. What the bear is in space? Yeah. Yeah, space bear. How would they be okay?

They have the helmets in the spacesuits, assuming that they don't claw through the fabric, which has been an issue in testing for something we're not doing or trying to do. I mean, they wonder, they're itching to get up there. Oh, these are really out of place. They know they want to. If any, the wish might hold the back. Yeah, they love it. Yep. And we have a capsule big enough for two of them, the two that we have it named. When you think about it's actually kind of mean that you wouldn't let them go up there. If anything, that's animal cruelty. I think you should probably- You know, they put a dog instead of sputnik. Yeah, no, I know. The dog died. That's what everyone's upset about.

Yeah. Well, a giraffe would work technically, but that's not what this is about. Yeah. This is about animals achieving their aeronautical dreams which you said really against We launched a giraffe egg up there for a reason to see if it happens. There's no such thing as a giraffe egg Well, that I got some terrible The Air Force that it didn't have any plants to send the young bears into outer space, or did it plan to subject them to the rigors of the high-speed rocket sled run? Oh, well we'll see if they could survive 5G. But something does we can. Just imagining a bear and 5G.

Yeah, the guy's taking notes. Bear's really sick again. Ha-ha-ha. They are to be used as part of what the military calls experiments in century physiology. Oh, boy. Which is basically... ...fisiology involves such things as reflex action

and equilibrium. Yep. Just things that are totally unrelated to space, okay? We're, look, we're just rocket men testing the reflexes of bears. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Can't a government organization in charge of the skies have some bears. Oh my God, what year is this? Officials conceded that there are certain military applications to the presence of the

animals at the center which cannot be released at this time. They are fighting bears but we can't tell you what they are going to do. I love that that they're like we will concede these bears to hear from military purposes. The Bayes average one and a half years old and way about a hundred feet. You already said that. Two of the animals have been dubbed backster and Oscar. Let me finish the article by starting the article. So the others have not demonstrated sufficient character information as yet to receive names. They'll earn their names just

like you earn your rank, but again they're not being considered for a space or war. When the bear learns how to salute like Oscar did he will get a name names are for closers Names of a patriot's apparently yeah once he does the full national anthem end to end then we'll call it the bed Do the bears will not put their hands over their heart during the pledge of allegiance Russian bears So this is a there's yeah, there's one guy and there was like I think that backster might be working for the Ruskies Daniel how long have you been up? Yeah, my first my first clue was that he's a bear He didn't answer when I said Uncle Sam

He didn't answer when I said Uncle Sam. So he killed him. Two of the bears are dead. They knew too much. They had to go. Why did three of these guinea pigs strangled? I was overpedig. This is a column called the Whaling Wall by Weeping Willie. The what now?

This is a column called the Whaling Wall by Weeping Willie. One shutters to say... It's like an Alice in Wonderland paper. One shutters to think what it will take to constitute a radical 50 years from now. Appearance of the fiery object, flying saucer, or whatever you might want to call it in our own area, brings the thing just a little closer to home. There's truly nothing else happening in this town. This is the only thing that's happened in a decade he clearly yeah oh yeah

we sat in an interview with james stokes this morning the man who yesterday saw yesterday's object and there is nothing funny nor mythical about the whole thing he's mad he's mad he's mad he's mad he knows what he saw and had himself a rather interesting experience he admitted he didn't know what he saw at the beginning he knows what he saw and had himself a rather interesting experience he didn't know what he saw at the beginning he knows what he saw now he know I write he saw three bears on an egg he better know the exact mocks or he knows nothing nothing I tell you There were three bears on two separate eggs. One of the bears didn't have the name. The

other was definitely backstered. However, we made mention in our interview that this is particularly interesting new in the view of the happenings in West Texas over the weekend. Another man who should know said that they've been happening for 400 years. This we did not know. Who said that? I'm old man. Some immortal. I am the guy. I'm 100 and 80. Another thing is happening. I think I popped up and they were like talking to Stokes and some guy came out of corner and was like, they've been happening for 400! Sir, how old are you? 380.

Okay, just a... I'm a wizard. Yeah. I'm a retired wizard. Oh boy, we got more here. Saucer Blow. Oh man, I had one of those in the UK. Bill Healey of the Spudnut shop, Spudnut, SPUDNUT.

He's like, kid, take that. Healy of the Spudnut shop Spudnut SPUDNUT. Spudnut shop. He's like, can't take that. I'll show you. I'll show you Spudnic by name of my business, basically you. What? Right back at you. I'm the Tater Satellite.

Tater. Spud. Okay. Uh, Bill Hilli of the Spudnut Shop says he has the answer to the flying object. Spudnuts, he says, are so light and fluffy that when he makes them, if anyone opens the door, out they go. What? What? What? What's he making?

How is he in a paper? He's making, he's making Spud nuts, which are light and fluffy. Okay. So he's made a delicious... This is what I was talking about. This is like, what is this just crazy? We weren't, we aren't. Instead of a jacket potato, who's jacking off on a potato,

is that, what a spud nut is. Yeah, I know that. Well, we know about that. That's what you did in the UK. And they're not going to have you back if you keep going. It's a dictator. No, they know that. Well, we know about that. That's what you did in the UK. And they're not going to have you back if you keep going. It's a dictator. No, they're not. But they will love it in Ireland.

They don't love it. He could be doing a little bragging on his delicious wares. This is part of the way. This is part of what whaling will he's the whaling wall call. Jack Hiles is flat on his back here at the home of his son James. He had an injury, but we're going to try to get out to visit him and see if we can cheer him up some of that. Sorry. Excuse me, what's your column? It's in the paper. And then my column will trail off.

This feels like one of those projects where he came up with the title before he had the idea of like hell and a pants. Or it feels like one of those like you remember like in like creative writing class or something like that where like you would just keep writing it just be like just don't stop writing he was like and then I just was and now it's over pretty much. And now my column is pretty much done That's... I'll see you. And now my column is pretty much done because I'm done saying it. Thank you. I'm not tired.

Are you weeping at any point in this? No. Why do they call you weeping willy? Moor. I'm done. I finished. Grandpa, you have to give the papers up. You sound insane.

No, no, this is good. He's got damn Russians. Foot facts. Bowling Green, Ohio. After a year-long study of walking habits, Dr. Willard Meiser and Dr. James Hobb of Ohio State University, Zoologely Zooology Department Department reported to Ohio Academy of Science meeting here, males walk faster than females. Back, back, back, back, go Dave, go Dave, go Dave.

Go Dave, go Dave, go Dave, go Dave. Back, let him have this, this is Dave, go ahead Dave. Go ahead. All right, now, no no no no no Dave now for a response We will go to the slower gender no offense back Look I would I would love to fight back but we have no in it We have no in this about women for longer we're slower and

Because we get a carry on all that shopping, you know And it's because we got a carry on all that shopping, you know? Oh, there we go. Ladies, you know, when you're working slower than your man, because you got a carry on your shopping. She's trying to get new shoes again. Yeah. What a crazy. This guy studied men are faster.

He studied at the school of leering. Yeah, yeah. School of creeps. It was really hard for me to finish this study because I kept being accused of whacking off in bushes. But I was merely taking notes. The women appeared slower because they were running away. You would think the women would have moved faster considering

I was touching myself. When I'm in the bushes, women move slower. the women would have moved faster considering I was touching myself. When I'm in the bushes, women move slower. When I'm outside the bushes, they move quicker. Yeah. By a ball. Sarah, did you hear that? Is someone in the bushes?

Yeah, look at him go. I think he's writing a study. Right. Man, it's writing furiously. Yeah. It's not a Russell. I'm a Simon Scent son. Yeah, he really is right and something in there. And he I don't know why he's moaning so much as hand was heard from all this pen and I'm working on science in here.

Okay, dokey. Actually, there's not a notebook run. We also run. We move away slowly. We might not get attacked. Science. We might not get attacked. Lions. OK. Males walk faster than females by taking longer strides. To walk faster, people take longer rather than faster steps. People walk faster when the temperature is lower. That's the study. Well, there's a government grant gone.

This everybody knows more. This town feels like one of those towns that you drive through on a long road trip and everything looks abandoned. Like surely no one lives here. Yeah, but then you see one person come out. You're like, oh my god, everyone won a bar of paper. So this just appears to be a diary of it wailing Willie. Yeah, weeping Willie. That's me too. I wrote every page of this thing Yeah, in a Russian is it? No, no, I want to grill some bear meat. Oh Thank you. How much is it? Well, if you're my, be my wife free. Oh, no, thank you so much.

Look at Skyin' coming. This headline is costly call. A customer who obtained permission to use a cafe telephone here called Toronto and talked for 23 minutes. For not paying the $11.35 bill he was arrested and fined $100. Wow. I think I was a genius in a way. Come on, it was.

It was. It's a master criminal in this town. It's so funny. What do you like asked if you can borrow the phone? They're like, he's down in a lot of numbers. What's the country code for Toronto? Oh, I thought you said you were calling down the street. I am.

But I'm about to talk to my friend and we were going to guess which, how you call Canada, Toronto specifically. Do you have any ideas? No. Oh, okay. I'll just keep dialing till I get it. What? Just thanks for letting me use your cafe phone Would you like to order some sky eggs?

No, I think I'm just there There other bear under a bear eggs Yeah, he wants Oscar Huh? Bear? Other bear? Undearned. Order a bear in eggs! Yeah. Yeah, he wants Oscar. Did you wanted the named one, correct? Sure. I just want to... I'm talking to my buddy in Toronto. Yeah, there it is.

Here's a knife. Thank you. Go ahead and cut off the piece you want. Okay, man. He's still alive, he's in the bathroom. He's a veteran! Thank you. Go ahead and cut off the piece you want. Okay, man. He's still alive, he's in the bathroom. He's a veteran! Here's the best headline ever.

Mutnik is real. Wow. What? That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great.

That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great. That is great. I would bet that there's not a dog inside of Sputnik. I bet that's propaganda. Don't you think? I'd say that. It's what inspired this whole rigmarole with the bears. They were like, watch this. I have a dog in space. Who would I believe that?

I think they would be like, I think they would shoot a dog into space to be like, what happens to the human body in space? But I don't think like in your satellite design design you would be like and then these perfect area for a living canine Like you'd be like they'd be like every part of the satellite is great. Why do we need dog inside of it? Well, he will die. Yes. Well, heart of Sputnik is a died dead dog It's you just can't face the fact that they put a dog. I just don't think it makes any like I think that is classic like we were saying the other like that is like what they would say about like North Korea like it would be like the CIA would be like damn monkeys in their satellite.

I Dave showing Yeah, but that's like no now you've made it but I I I can see it that they shot dogs into space I just don't think they were like what we need and our satellite design is a dead dog I just don't see it even in the craziest for I think it's like what I think it's because of this I think it was just like American papers like mutt Nick I Mean he was on like posters and stuff like he was oh Sorry, so it's fact You wouldn't make russians didn't make posters unless it was a real thing.

Dave, you know we dropped propaganda's leaflets over every fucking country that was just like, you put dogs in Sputnik. Your country killed a dog for your satellites. Meanwhile, there's an unpropegated from Russia being like, what are these idiots? Who the hell is that? Okay, Mutnik is a real Russian word. like, what are these idiots? Who the fizz? Yeah. Yeah. OK, Muttenek is a real Russian word.

It's had Captain Robert Kamrod today. But it's meaning has nothing to do with a dog carrying satellite. It means one who fishes in muddy water. So it's absolutely not true. This is just what's happening. This is just a guy making stuff up. And it's a guy. This is the not true. This is just, what's happening? This is just a guy picking stuff up. And it's in the guy.

This is the one old man, and I think it's the guy who saw the egg at the start. Trying to write a whole paper on his phone. It's dope, yeah. There's no way this is true. Martinick, I looked up Martinick, but it just comes up pictures of Sputnik the dog. Yeah, it's a movie also, mutnik.

The dog that is launching a space. Okay, whatever. Mutnik is absolutely not real. This is the craziest paper. It means one who fishes in muddy water said Danderum 72 of Seattle, a Russian-born tanker pilot. He's just, this is when they go to some Russian guy goes yeah no they are yeah it's a mnemonic yeah I have more cigarettes for your interview about the Levantga yeah what else you got yeah well they shot up what we're learning the into Saturn's rings. Really? Ma'am, what a cigarette?

Yeah, there you go, my friend. Yeah, of course, yeah. You know, Karl Marx was actually Zepo's brother. Whoa. That's Zepo. That's an old man reference back. Yes. I, I, small politely, as I always do with an old man.

I said I'd cast over there too when I'm in Australia and people do it. I'm like, yes, that sounds like a city. Yeah. Uh, Otero youths pledge A&M fraternity. Tommy Harrell of Alamo, Alamogordo and Harold Clark of Sunspot. Students at New Mexico A&M College have pledged Phi Kappa Tao National Social for turning. This is such a fucking

doctor. I'm already. I'm so sad. And what? Oh my God. Why is that? They're not even in. Guys trying to get into a frat.

They're just plent. They're just trying to get into a frat. What the fuck just happened? I mean, this paper is talked about like UFOs and then it's like, but we're not just a out of this world, Russian tension paper.

Also, these two guys are trying to be, they're trying to beer pong. The most style feel good piece. It's just some boys trying to hang out. Turns out they're Russian agents. I gotta say the paper, our paper really just starts to just kind of fade after page three. Our paper is going for the demographic

that is interested in the things that happen in space, the problems with Russia and what people want to know about Kevin and Fred doing in college. Ha ha ha. Not much to do. This is a Phoenix Arizona story. Barking dog complaints. I'm not good for the paper. At least they're admitting it at this point.

Why is this article in the paper? It shouldn't be an article about why this shouldn't be in the paper. Barking dog complaints are routine around police headquarters, but a call taken by complaint secretary. Complaints secretary. Oh my god. They're like, all right, we'll hire a woman. Yeah.

You take complaints, Doris. Sorry, I'm late, I walked. Surely the assistant of Weeping Willy. Yeah, gotta be. But a call taken by complete secretary Doris stallings last night was too much. A man phone to stay to say that a barking dog was disturbing him. Where is this dog? Asked? The secretary. It's on that new Russian moon, the man said and hung up. Oh my God. Prank call of the tech.

Yeah, it's on the moon. Yeah. I mean, that guy came in hot like that guy was just like. He's called for Toronto. Yeah, that guy's like, I like to complain about a barking dog. And what's the problem? He sounds Russian. What's going on sir? He's insides pet Nick click

Best country on earth name a better one mother-cucker high-fives all around. Yeah, wow you nailed their ass Computing machine sale backfires Albuquerque. An Albuquerque cash register company recently sold the city a new register to help police keep better track of ignored traffic violations. The machine came home to roost for two company employees yesterday. The police charged Lester Milliken and William Anderson with a William Anderson. I always wondered how he could hold that money. Yeah. You time traveling another fucker. We got you William Anderson. Betty came here in an egg and I bet it hurt his leg. So the police charged Lester Milliken and William Anderson, ignoring a total of 81 overtime parking tickets with the possible fines of $770.

So they work at the, they work there. Mm-hmm, yep. And they. So they were ignoring their own traffic violations and they work at the They work for the city that's the story Yeah, well they cost us money Isn't that kind of a perk of working for the city is you like Yeah, you don't apply to me

Yeah, they were like going in a Frank. He just did not pay attention to that one chair Boy, they would love to get eyes on our government now So this is this is a photo of a bunch of kids standing there and It says circus bound circus bound circus bound on their way to To the performance of the Ringling brothers Barron and Billy circus in our past or today are these students from the new mexico school for the visually handicapped left to right that says other names and then it says they will attend as guests of the circus contrary to opinions

possibly held by some school officials declared they'll get a lot out of the show. Okay, I'm not even being a dickhead. I'm not being a dickhead. Can I just say that before I launch into this? Go ahead, go ahead. Okay, so visually impaired, potentially not able to see the circus. What is the point?

Like there's someone has to be there to just be like, okay, and now there's a man on a tight rope And he's watching and he's having balance issues and he's but for them they feel they can feel the atmosphere right the people So what I would what I would suggest is Take them to a tent and Turn a fan on and just have some guy next to him save the money and

just be like whoa now that other elephants on the other elephants back but they just try they just trample the clown and now there's a bunch of lions going around and this guy's out of motorcycle and oh my god you should see this are you saying make a better make up a better service than the rest of the just in the room. Yes, onchup the circus. This guy took his head off, and now he just fed it to a lion. I wouldn't, I would say, wouldn't it be frustrating if someone was like, so the balloon's getting bigger on the clown's fists? Yes, but I mean, so now the clown seems

to be really frustrated by the other clown's behavior, because he put a pie on his face and squirted it off with seltzer. So he's going to sniff the other clown's flower, but whoo-oh, more Seltzer. Oh, is that funny or is it scary? What am I supposed to- It's pretty annoying to be honest. Oh, okay. It's really dragging on. I feel like they just don't have enough animals. Okay, could that be anything to do with the bears being held down the road?

Potentially, yeah. But a lot of these animals I think are in the air force. I, here's what I would say. I would say you would have to have a, someone who can't see answer that question for you. Because I don't think we, you know what I mean? Like you could say. That's why I prefaced it with, hey, I'm about to do some dangerous tightrope comedy. Ha's going to be a weird thing for you, Dominic. He should straight.

Editorial, comrades say, comrades do. There's probably never been a time in history when the public made so much demand on the White House to get to work. The launching's another... The launching of another Russian satellite is having the effects on the... is having effects on the American public. Everyone has an opinion on it, practically everyone agrees that our scientists were sincere when they have stated we could have had one,

and practically everyone feels that we have made a grave Blunder by allowing Russia to make its move first. See this is what we did. I remember when I was reading through the stuff for the Sputnik Monroe episode that I did. The Sputnik people lost their fucking minds over Sputnik. It was like, it's just like this with anything with Americans. We're just like, if we're told, it's just like such a good cudgel to just be like, hey, Russia beat us to this. And then you're just like, the president doesn't know what he's doing. We don't even have a dog in our satellite. Yeah.

Wait, so the Russians were, sorry, I should have asked this way the top of the episode. The Russians were the first to space. Yes. Sorry, being in Australia. We have no idea what the big boys are up to. No, yeah, you guys tried to shoot people there in a beer can. No. We were the first on the moon.

So we, so there was the space race and we got to the moon, but the Russians put a satellite, we were trying to put a satellite into orbit, but they were the first ones that got a satellite to go into orbit. Okay, and then we, waited a little bit for that. Sorry, I mean, America really America lost the chick completely like it was just like devastating. They show fans of eggs. Sure, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but if you're there's a for all mankind there's a show on Apple. That's about if Russians got to the moon first. Wow, I've heard of that right. One of the different history. It's a show on Apple that's about if Russian's got to the moon first. Oh, I've heard of that. What are the different history? It's interesting. I have seven streaming services. I can't. I can't. The Apple's the one I can't get. Get it. Come on. Oh boy. Come on. All right. Okay. There's only a small subliving crisis. No, you just have my own. Okay. All right. What you do, you get a streaming service. You watch all the shows. You want to watch a cancel it. Then you get a streaming service you watch all the shows you want to watch you cancel it then you get another streaming service

You watch the shows you want to watch the you cancel you just move through them. That sounds like I'd have to make a plan or I don't know. It sounds like dating seven people. It is but that's fun like if you've ever Yeah, just to think we wouldn't be able to have those streaming services if it wasn't for those space breakthroughs of those beautiful Russians Yeah I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna move out this story because I just don't care about Is there any of the paper left if we cut out the spotning stuff? That's the question. There's actually a lot we can Okay, how about this?

US wants mystery Ray, but has none at present. I mean, I would ask what the mystery ray is, but that's, I guess, part of the mystery ray. Something a game show. We would like a magic laser, but we don't have one. Yeah. Tonight on mystery ray Yeah, which ray is a pedophile

A device capable of disrupting the operation of motor vehicles or other Mechanical equipment is one of the things the armed forces would like to see developed it's back to the fucking egg Oh my god, yeah everything comes back to this goddamn egg. It's back to the fucking egg. Oh my God. Everything comes back to this goddamn egg. It's docks. But the egg really just kind of scramble their ones brains. The Leonard sees come to the dark side. But Leonard Harlan, chief engineer of the National Inventors Council, said stay in response to an inquiry that he does not know of any research in the country aimed at producing a device that could stall automobiles or cause radios to fade.

This is really all on the egg. They just made up a story based on the fucking egg. I mean, in this country, what about Russia? What are they up to? Are we interested in that at all? How do we know? They're not making egg? Shut shut shut radio's egg. How do we know they're not behind big egg?

Big egg? Oh yeah. Such happenings have been reported in the last several days in New Mexico and Texas connected with the sightings of objects in the skies. Harlan said he knows of no such research by civilian inventors and scientists, and that if the arms forces are working in that direction, quote, I believe it would be classified. I just tired it. That's how you really did it.

It's nice to watch back then where they didn't really have the mechanics worked out of how they had to bullshit. Like now they're so good at bullshitting, but back then they were like, no look, we just have a bear cage. And I'm not going to say those bears aren't training for war. Like now they'd be like, what are you talking about. However, he said that four or five years ago, the military asked the inventors council to put a destructive or death ray on its list of wanted inventions. That has been on the military wish list forever. Like, you get a socks. Yeah. So far far no one has come up with any death or destructive ray. No, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma, ma all the people who are the Russians always get a thanks first. Harlan said he once heard of an unverified rumor that the Germans have developed late in World War II a destructive raid device designed as an

anti-aircraft weapon. Wouldn't surprise me. That's what Marjorie Taylor Greene was talking about. The fucking space Jew laser or whatever. Yeah, the space Jew laser. She seems cool. She seems. She's super chill. She's awesome. Yeah, she's always got so many points at one time and I think they're all they're all great. Well, we always wondered what it would look like if CrossFit was a Congresswoman. It's more there's some more spot next stuff.

They're really. Is there anything left that's not spot Nick? Yeah, yeah, yeah, related in this paper. I mean, we can't keep, I mean, we can keep going on. I'm fascinated to see if Stokes magically pops up and has another, you know, little bit of information. I'm sure he'll come back. Penies, nothing but a cent to new parking

meters investing pennies in the double dialed parking. Penny's on money and they use pennies is one cent. More story. Investing pennies in the double dialed parking meters on the courthouse parking lot, buys nothing but frustration as many mistaken, irate motorists have learned. The meters accept only nickels or quarters. The nickel is good for an hour's parking, a quarter for five hours. Pennies do not actuate the timing machinery at all.

See, I remember when I used the valet cars, what you used to do is you used to because you couldn't park at a meter you had to go take it to a lot but if you if you found a spot what you do is you put a penny in a piece of paper or two piece of paper sorry my cat's crying or two pieces of paper and then you would put it in the meter and it would break the meter and then you could park cars there all night and that worked for probably like two straight months until eventually, meter people were watching us and we were like, we're busted.

You got caught? Yeah, they started, there was like a sting. Mm-hmm. Ha-ha-ha. Because we were on like the busiest street, we were on the busiest street in Boston. And yeah, they were fucking pissed. Because then later everyone would just be like,

hey, we can park here for free. Yeah, they're breaking the machines. Oh, shut up. You sound like the cops. I'm on nobody's side, man. I'm riding the middle on this one. The Russia's come up with parking meter that will not be broken by Penny.

It's called the bear. Well, we actually now are going to do half penny parking machines if you might know. Well, we actually now are going to do half penny parking machines. Half penny? No. Yeah. Yeah. Rain. You and your half pennies. Pioneer women could bake a cake without any eggs, butter or milk. Here we go. Space eggs. Wait, they're... Women used to be women and make cakes from thin air apparently

How are you enjoying your imagined cake darling? Lately down the street collecting it. Yeah Before you can become my wife, I would like you to show me that you can make a cake without an egg Sounds like a Steven Segal order. Make a cake without any of the ingredients. American women reputed to be extravagant lazy and pampered, haven't forgotten the 50 virtues of their pioneer ancestors. An astonishing number of them, in fact,

know how to bake an eggless, milkless, butterless cake, and can... What is it? It's just droward? It's just a pile of flour with a candle in it. Happy birthday, Devon. This could have appeared recently after Ralph Bellamy happened to mention... I love Ralph Bellamy happened to mention I love Ralph Bellamy

Have it a mention in the course of a TV show to tell the truth the fact that his mother used to bake a cake during World War One This was greeted by unbelievable snorts of derision from other members of the panel Then came the day loose Oh boy Bellamy received more than 500 letters for women all over the country

and closing their own recipes for the thrifty cake, most of which had been hand in down by their mothers and grandmothers. But the thrifty cake is made out of none of the things that you need for cake except for flour. We're going to get to the recipe. Okay. The cake is called also called the economy cake, the poverty cake, the poor man's cake,

and the mother's minus. Well, this is actually great timing for us to be here. I guess, recipe. That is so fucking true. Right back there. I laughed at first, but now I like I'm really I'm I yeah, hurry quickly Okay, so here's the recipe two cups of brown sugar two cups of hot water four tablespoons of lard

One pound well that would take the place of the butter right the lard Sure, and maybe the milk a little bit. I don't know One pound seedless raisins cut up, two teaspoons salt, two teaspoons cinnamon, two teaspoons clove, three cups flour, two cups baking soda, two tablespoons baking soda. That could work. Probably not great. Well, I think you're fine with the lard. I mean, I don't know how great you're fine with the lard. I love lard. I'll put my whole face on that shit. You're fine with the lard, shit. I'm gonna pool build.

It's gonna be a lard pool in the backyard. Yeah, Dave's wife left him so you know back here. And his wick's a lard. Wait, can you get lard at the stores still? Is that something that's? You can't hear. We can get whatever you want here. Try not in Russia.

I think you can still buy lard. They got lard lines there. You got to wait in the line two days to get some large Russia not here Matter of fact, yeah every house in America's built on large Is this the water sink and then there's the Lod sink? Yep, no problem. Yeah, it's the Lord. It's the Lord tap. Yep. Yep. Yeah, I bet we can still get Lord here. You want me to do that?

Oh, you want Lord, Dave? I can bring some Lord over to Knight. I got a bunch of it. Farmer, John Lord. Yeah, you can get all Crisco, the called vegetable shortening sticks now. Oh, yeah, you can get Crisco anywhere. It's great.

Yeah, it's awesome. It's like putting your hand in some, this is great. It's just kind of, yeah. It's tough. Tough Lord. Yeah, it's awesome. It's like putting your hand and some just great. It's just kind of yeah It's tough tough. There's a there's still a lot of lard you can buy based on what I'm looking at Oh, yeah, we're doing good here Why do you why do you say this problems are not problems? Yeah, that's weird No one believed the JT Bruce when he told friends he was picking cucumbers from his

pear tree. Wait, run. I don't believe him. One more time. One more time. No one believed JT Bruce when he told friends he was picking cucumbers from his pear tree. Yep. I agree.

I don't believe him. Guys, come over, agree. I don't believe it. Guys, come over, man. I'm not fucking kidding. These are cucumber pears. No. They went to sea and sure enough, he was. He's full of shit. It was.

A closer inspection showed the cucumber vines had climbed up the tree. Oh, the vines. OK. Well, that's different. That's so stupid See people were shit on true crime, but these are the kind of stories that we had before hands I don't know the distance you'd walk to be like whoa we got pear tree cucumber Whoa buddy walk to be like whoa we got pear tree cucumber whoa buddy that's sad there's a picture of a pig that won the prize poker and they're just talking about how he's gonna get cooked to eat. We should do that with Miss America's or any winner of any pageant we should do now with Miss America's. Or any winner of any pageant. We should do. Now we eat.

Last one. Sign error. This is at a Carl's bad, California. Oh, no. Chief Bob Hardin and his fire laddies busy themselves recently making some Russian. I love the fire laddie. Oh, boy. The laddies.

Please. Recently making some rustic signs for the city hall grounds Signs saying entry and exit and such This is before a lot of fires I guess This isn't just news. This is news from another town Science to go in and come out of a place yep about the making signs to go in and come out of a place. Yep. The signs are carefully made by cutting letters in wood

with an electric router, and then emblazing them with yellow paint. Imagine the fire chiefs embarrassment we discovered that the signs so carefully made for the front of the station had his name spelled Hayden instead of Harden. Oh my god, he is going gonna turn absolute red with embarrassment. Space egg on his face. Great story.

Great story. A club believe he let him print it. I mean, I do everything to cover that up to get a wrap. How did they, I can't believe it made it all this way from Carl's bad to wherever the hell we are Oh, he shot himself next page. What? Shut up. No kidding. Oh my god I guess he ended up making an exit Well, Beck, thank you for joining us on America's on America's Egg Podcast.

Your special bipolar baby YouTube, keep an eye for your new podcast that will be called something that you know but you're not saying yet but it'll be an extension of your previous podcast which Dave called Lady Guy Movies. Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy-Liddy Yeah, 100%. All these, sometimes get a little... You're gonna save. Hey, all right, it's all we need to hear. Thank you so much. All right, Beck. Thank you, and Dave, good luck. you