The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 559 - "Doctor" Linda Hazzard - live

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine "Doctor" Linda Hazzard. Recorded live in Seattle.  Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch     Squarespace Helix Sleep

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It's Gareth for the last... I don't know how many more times we're gonna need to tell people Dave the truth of the name thing. Thank you miss. I don't know how that got started. I love you huh yeah yeah no I don't know how it started either. Yeah I do. If you get a chance stay at the Graduate Hotel where they have nothing that you need. All the things we thought of to put in hotel rooms, coffee maker, hot water maker, bed, bed desk. I mean I don't need the hotel desk. I'm good. You're listening to the Dallup! This this is an American History podcast where each week I wear of boots. There

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DALUP to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And we are brought to you in part by Helix Sleep. Look, we're big fans of Helix, the mattress situation that we have on our houses. I've been sleeping on a Dusk Lux mattress for a long time. My son has a Helix mattress. My wife also has one, but that's because we sleep in the same bed. The sleeping is great, and so is the other stuff that happens in the bed. That's still great. We also got like nine dogs. They're all enjoying it. Everyone likes it. My kid loves it. So Helix Sleep is a premium mattress brand, and they provide tailored mattresses based on your sleep preferences. They got 14 unique mattresses, all kinds of luxury

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This is to the show. Let's just do the show. Let's just do the show. Usually we start with a high five. Let's do the show like we normally do, and then let's just do it. You know what I mean? I feel like that will work great. We have the little button on Twitter on a Zoom that you can hit, and it's like your high five. What does that even mean? Nobody cares to ask any follow up questions. Let's just move ahead. Just hurry, I guess is the thing we're all thinking. Hurry and keep going. Linda Burfield was born in Carver County, Minnesota. She was the oldest of seven kids. She's here tonight.

Someone knows. Someone's already ahead of the game. Someone's like, the Linda Burfield episode, finally. Can't wait until they introduce her son with a hat. When she was young, her dad died when a boat he was on sunk. Yeah, that's sad. It's also, okay. I mean, I always have questions. You know, like, couldn't he... It was a river boat. It was during the Civil War. A river boat?

It could have been some shenanigans. Okay, right. Otherwise, I feel like you'd go to shore. You'd have to be pretty like, nah, I'm, fuck it, let it, let it pour in. I'm 38. I've lived quite a life for a man in this town. Goodbye. Oh, God, this is going to go on for a while. Fuck. He's all, he wouldn't, you wouldn't keep doing that. Hello, I'm a fish. No, you're not.

I can save you if you like. Just take my fin. My little friend. How much fucking oxygen does this guy have? No, what is that? What I blow out is what you need to breathe. Yes, we can live down here together in a symbiotic friendship. Take my fin. That's right, my friend. Together we can have babies.

That's right. This will be sexual. I'm just like, I've got a bunch of little wombs. They're called my eggs. I'm going to, I'm going to start over. Oh, all right. December 8th. Her mom then married Montgomery Burfield. Who wouldn't want to get those straps off? Hell, look at all that skull. That's, that's, that's quite a camel toe he's got rocking there too.

Linda was a very outgoing child. The Burfields were mostly vegetarians, occasionally gave the kids a small piece of meat. Okay. Now, is that by choice or is that by poverty? It's by choice. Okay. A doctor came to check on the kids once a year. They weren't sick, but Montgomery thought doctors could ward off problems and wanted for the best, best for his kids, especially a young Linda, who he adored.

So he was like, really, when you're in there, really make sure she's okay. Yeah. He was like, that's the one I'm mostly concerned about. I'm going to look at all the, I'm going to look at all the children. The rest of them, you know, like I'm paying you a fee, maybe give her like half of the fee worth. I'll give them all a checkup. I don't want to like sprinkle them with a little dust or whatever you do.

I will sprinkle them with the equal amount of dust. Exactly. I really focus on that one because she is, she's something special. Put your glasses back on, sir, and put them back on now. You're wearing the same overalls from the last time I was here, by the way. I never take them off. Sometimes I'll take off the clothes underneath, but I don't take off the overalls. How does that even work?

Well, I rip them out. How do you take off your outfit on underneath your overalls and keep your overalls on the whole, so like how a woman would sneak her broad of her sleeve, essentially, you do that with all of your clothes through your overalls? Maybe you should come to my magic show on Thursday. What are you, look, let me just get through the general analysis of your children's health. Oh, focus on that one, by the way. I understand.

I'm not going to, no, look, please, I just, I'm having a lot of trouble moving on from the idea of you changing your under outfits without dropping the overalls once. I just took off my underwear without touching anything. Are some of these children yours? I don't know. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. But I really like that one.

I understand. The doctor convinced them that the kids possibly had fatal intestinal parasites, even though they were in no pain and had no complaints whatsoever about their health. And at this time, it wasn't like he could do much to really look at their. He could. He could. Oh. He could see the mass pills.

No, I mean, he couldn't see their intestines. Yeah. Well, we got on. Blue mass. The up John. Which were about 33 percent mercury. Oh. What?

You're moaning, but I didn't say 66 percent. I said 33 percent. By the way, keep in mind the Sackler family that's very, they're probably very similar with like mercury, like, go on, doctor, these mercury pills will really help. I don't have heard these are addictive. These are non-addictive mercury pills. I hear these will kill people. These are non-lethal mercury pills unless they take a bunch of them.

Well, the pills made the kids constantly vomit and have diarrhea. I guess they did have parasites after all. Exactly. And he gave them the pills over and over and over again for years. Jesus Christ. Yes, sir, years. Years. I'll handle the incredulous responses, yes.

That guy was shocked the way someone is when they're driving in their car listening to the doll-up. Years? Years? Oh, which we should mention. If there's someone near you who won't shut the fuck up, because that happens in our shows we hear post-pandemic where people are like, blah, blah, blah, blah, and people are like, I wanted to see a show.

Just tell them to shut the fuck up. Yeah. It's fine. We give you permission to do that. Just a light, a light. A light shushing. And if we keep this in the recording, that's for all future live shows. You're allowed to just, you know, not in a way like, hey, shut the fuck up.

They said I could say that. But be like, hey, hey, don't, no, David, we're not signing off on that. Just be like, hey, come on. You know what I mean? You guys are talking a lot. Just do something like that. Do you know what a razor blade is? David.

David. No. Give him a mercury pill. Let me buy you a next ale, friends. Do weep, dweep. So beginning with the taking of the pills, Linda was constantly sick. Her stomach couldn't hold much food. So the doctor then gave her a purgative kalamal, which is mercury.

Oh, but it's wintergreen flavor. It's, it's, you see it. So it's not going to be bad. Can you see what it says under the kalamal? It says mercurious chloride mild. So he gave him, it's a mild chlorine. He gave her. It's a hot tub.

He gave her mercury to cure the mercury problem. So to help her with the mercury he was giving her, he gave her mercury. You know, a little mercury. I'm going to put that mercury fire out. You can trust us. This caused her to vomit a lot, which led to the loss of several of her upper teeth. Oh, yeah. Because the acidity just like makes your teeth go.

That's cool. So he's just giving her mercury poisoning. And this doctor is a doctor. Oh, yes. He's talking around giving everyone mercury to die. Well, he said he's a doctor. Right. Yeah.

All right. Of course. Seems like he's got good training. Everyone here is fine doctor. Well, let's just roll the dice with some mercury, shall we? Little mercury out of help. So there she is. Okay.

So she's always ill. She's thin. She's exhausted a lot. Is it because she's being poisoned by mercury? Yes. Right. And within that stops, when she's 18, because she's searching for a cure and then she falls in love with a gentleman named Edwin Perry, who was 32 years old and well off.

He has some money. So she stops taking all the stuff she was taking from the childhood doctor. So she is no longer vomiting and diuretics everywhere. Right. And he's like, boy, this is going great. I loved you before and now you're not doing all those things. A month after she got married, her dad died. He was hauling logs and the load fell and crushed his skull.

Her other dad. Her real dad. Her real dad. Her second dad. Her second daddy. Because the first one is underwater with a fish family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

But her stepdad, who... The stepdad who took his underpants off without taking the overalls off. That's right. So first dad alive underwater with fish. No, he's dead too. No, no, he's survived underwater. No, he's not. Remember, we heard it at the beginning.

Yeah, but that's... Why don't we go to that couple and see how that's going in the field, Dave? I can't believe how old we're growing together. That's right. He's like a fucking... Take my fin. 20 years underwater now. You age slower, under here.

My dear. What? He can't fully sing, but he ended it with my dear at rhymed. Move on. Obsessed. So, Linda would always grieve for her father, basically. She would, for the rest of her life, think that he was the most honorable man she ever met.

So, they had two kids, Linda and Irwin. Okay. Roland and Nina Floyd, because who cares about names? What? Her... What? What is Floyd? His middle name?

It could be Roland, but it's called Roland. I'm not worried about that one. It's the Floyd that's bothering me. Floyd, they take the Floyd on the end of Nina. Nina Floyd. Oh, it's perfect. Mercury's damaged my brain. I love a Floyd, because it's almost a Floyd, exactly.

I'm Roland. Not great either, but the Floyd really distracts. So Nina studied to become an osteopath... osteopathic nurse, and then while she was studying that, she read The Gospel of Health by Dr. Edwin Hooker Dewey. So his book was about the health benefits of fasting. Oh, okay. This is why recently you were going like, fasting's not great. Yeah.

You were researching this. That would be correct. I don't know. This doctor I follow on Instagram is not a doctor, so this is pretty good. Dewey's... That's how you get into ketosis. Yes. Perfect.

Yeah. Dewey said he'd been cured by a patient of typhoid by having him fast for 34 days. Sorry, he had cured a patient of typhoid. Okay, I was like, this patient gave me great medical advice. Doctor, aren't you supposed to help the patient? Why? I'm getting an evaluation. Put your hand down my balls.

Did they feel like they bounced back properly? Great. Hello, I'll be your doctor today. Do you have any advice for me? Yes. Then he used it on other ailments, and he wrote a book called... Wait, what did he use? Sorry.

He used fasting on other ailments. Okay. Okay. And then he wrote a book called The No Breakfast Plan and Fasting Cure. But isn't... Isn't... That's the opposite of Hobbit. So, breakfast...

He's the anti-Hobbit guy. It's tough. Because breakfast is your first fast of the day, because you have a break from... Because you're sleeping. Although, in America, I'm surprised we haven't already come up with our sleep meal. There you go. Now put your pancakes by your bed for when you wake up in the night and feel like eating some pancakes.

We figured out a way to put pancakes in an IV, and then you'd eat them while you sleep. We've come up with Sleel, the sleep meal. There you go. Have a sip of your gravy, Grandma. Now back to bed, would you? So Linda reads his book, and it really speaks to her, and she ends up contacting Dewey. And then... He's like, you meant that?

Wow! They correspond, and then she convinces Dewey that she is his heir apparent. She's like, I will carry on your message when you eventually die. What I eventually what? Die. You're going to die. I'm not that old. Hold on.

I'm like 70 for the time. I'm in your closet. Oh! You're not at the Graduate Hotel. Because there's no fucking closet! Yes, there isn't your room. But they discreet over one thing. Facial hair.

Animas. Animas? Oh, God, Dave, why? Animas. Oh, no. Oh, my fear for my future comedy. So he's anti-anima. He's like, I don't think you need that, and she's like, oh, you absolutely do.

Yeah, basically, she's really into animas. She, Linda, believe one had to have an internal bath first. What a great way of putting it. Would you like some bubbles? There you are. Quote, a necessary hygienic accessory to the fast. Oh, wow. So just hollowing yourself out.

So no one really knows what happens to Linda's marriage, but it is over in 1898. The same year she finds fasting. Okay. So he's probably like, can you stop with all the tubing? And she's like, I found myself. I'm cleaning my ass and not eating. Let's go out for dinner tonight like we used to. No, no, no.

I don't eat dinner. Plus, I'm hollow. She claims that he abandoned her, but most people who knew Linda believed she was the one who left Edwin. Right. Okay. She flushed him. Yes.

Okay. After the divorce, she sent her kids to live with her mother. As one does. Because she didn't want anything interfering with her career ambitions. Jesus. Linda said men. I'm fasting from the children, too. No more.

Linda said men put their ambitions ahead of family for the greater good, so she could too. Fair. No pushback there, although at the time where people are not like, you heretic, what are you speaking of? Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, this was a big deal.

She was doing this. Right. She wanted to become a known authority on healing through fasting. Sure. Now, her daughter, Nina, Nina, Floyd would hold a grudge for the rest of her life. Because of the name Floyd. Yeah. Yeah.

She's like, what is it? It's part of a name, maybe. Rollin didn't care. He was like, I love you, mommy. I love you, mom. Oops. So Linda moved to Minneapolis to open a practice. So her new business does well, her fasting enema situation.

Great. Quote, cases pronounced incurable by medical physicians recovered under the regimen I imposed, and the systems presented ranged from chronic constipation, diabetes, Breitz disease, encephalous to paralysis. Sorry. Can you read that one more time? Yep. Cases pronounced incurable by medical physicians recovered under the regimen I imposed, and

the systems presented ranged from chronic constipation, diabetes, Breitz disease, and syphilis to paralysis. So she's saying that her enema has caused a cured paralysis. Fasting and enema. Sure. Fasting and enema has cured paralysis. And kidney problems. Sure.

Constipation, I feel like. Syphilis. Probably. That person was probably like, I really am cured. Someone else was like, I have syphilis and I've never felt better. Starving, though. When does my nose grow back? That you need to eat even less.

Oh, boy, I'm so hungry, but I want a nose. Let's do another 10 hours of enema. Okay, great. Oh, boy, it's a lot of water. Is it just water? Sure. I hope so. What water were they using?

I'm sure it was like well water. They were like, you've got parasites, so we're going to use some of the well water. The unfiltered well water we found over here. There's a guppy in that one. That'll be fine. He'll help. He'll eat the stuff. Don't worry.

I know what I'm doing. It's like 1880. Things are good. This is some of the freshest water you're going to find. Okay, so she thinks that what she's doing is resting that digestive system, which is going to cure ailments, allows the impurities to leave the body. Sure, and all the good things. Yeah, right.

It's a natural cleaning process, so her treatments are giving patients like a spoonful of vegetable broth, very, very, very hard massages, and incredibly long and painful enemas. What does that even mean, like incredibly long, so just fucking putting a pool inside of them and then being like, all right, now we're going to cork you and put you on the rack. You live in the wine cellar now. Don't move or you'll champagne. It's ours.

Ours? Ours. Ours. People are sitting there like, good thing I had that fortifying vegetable broth. Broth spoonful. Oh my God. All right, now it's time for a hard massage. I don't know, last time you did that, you lost a wall.

So did I. So Linda is now an Anima expert and because she's an Anima expert because she did it to herself for a while because they helped with the pain from the blue pills. Quote, this powerful poison, dear, irreparable injury to my intestines, retarding and preventing their development and growth to such a degree that even to this day, I am compelled to resort to the Anima daily. So she's what we call the business in Anima freak. Yeah, an everyday Anima.

Good morning. May I wash out your ass? You wish it was just your ass. I mean, it is everything. Have you done it? I don't want to talk about it. Pre-show. Linda wasn't the only, she's not the only person who believes in fasting as a cure.

Fasting is pretty common in June, 1880, Dr. Henry Samuel Tanner. Good Lord. He did a 40 day fast in New York City, which was covered by detail in all the papers. Help, help me. Thanks for quote. He said, please give me bread or food. People paid 25 cents to watch him fasting. Ah, ah, ah, wow, look at him, he is starving.

Wow. Day 38, it's like David Blaine, but back then, they're like, wow, look, nothing's going at him. Ah, ah, ah, spaghetti will be so great some time. Popcorn, Coke, anybody want popcorn, Coke, get yourself some fresh fresca. Fresh fresca. You want popcorn up front, here you go. No, don't throw it, oh my God.

Hot dog, you want mustard? Don't throw those at me, oh my God. Here you go, kid. I'm a fucking 80 year old man, look at me, I'm not a kid. You threw those to me, right? No, it's the kid in front. Oh, that kid is having a haul. I was hallucinating that they were thrown to me, ah, I'd eat that boy.

And all of his little snacks. 25 dollars. Ah, to eat the boy? Yes. You allowed to sell him? Yeah, I'm a vendor. Nothing, nothing's off the table. Sorry lad, get over here.

That's okay, mister. I was there the day he ate the boy, I can't believe I paid 25 cents. Now it's 75 cents, we didn't know he was going to be devouring a boy in his bones. No, no. So the day Tanner broke his fast, 2000 people came to see him, beef fed milk, watermelon and steak. Oh my God, oh, just don't, oh look it, oh he's loving it. He really wanted that steak.

Oh, I can't believe he ate the steak, I bet he wouldn't, I bet Tony. More milk, more milk, now some watermelon please. Wow, this is unbelievable. Okay, bring the boy over. I mean it does sound crazy, but then you would think of Nathan's hot dogs and people like, whoa. Yeah, it's no different. They're all barfing, USA, USA.

And then after that he went on tour to tout fasting and there were tons of people who were fasting, so Linda has added the enema, that's her own flair. Her enema took 12 quarts of water and you would get the enema while getting a deep massage. Oh for fuck's sake. Patients would scream out in pain. Oh fuck, that's way too many quarts, that's more than a car engine takes. Oh my god, no more, shut the fuck up now, I'm water pregnant. As she massaged, Linda would yell, there you go, you hold a lot of tension in your belly.

What's going on with your distended stomach, what do you think that's due to? The liters of water you put in me, there you go. As she massaged, you would yell, quote, eliminate, eliminate. It's just the least relaxing massage of all time. You hold a lot of tension in your body, what do you think that's due to, that's the massage. All the water going in my ass. And you shouting, eliminate at me while you do it. So Gertrude Young became a patient, she was 41, she had a paralyzed arm and leg from a

stroke and doctors gave her no hope of a cure, so she turned to Linda. What do you think I can do, well we should fill you with water at once, no more eating except water, but you're not going to eat it, we're going to put it in through your ass. That's right. Ooh, that's a crazy thing I haven't heard. And then I'm going to squeeze you and fucking yell at you. Oh yeah, nobody's tried that on me before.

That must work. Well after three weeks of treatment, Gertrude woke up violently puking a dark, terrible smelling mush. She had spasms, her previous doctor was then called and he took one look at her and said, she's been being filled with water and not eating. He said she needs food. Hmm, interesting. Let me write you a prescription.

Apple. Apple. Watermelon. Milk. Well, let's get some sardines. Steaks, yeah. Her friends were all like, no, no, no, she has to keep the treatment, she has to finish the 40 days of fasting or it doesn't work.

She died on day 39. Oh shit. Well, the fast kept going. Forever fasting. Wow, fuck. Day 39 too. Uh, so that's not good, obviously. Oh, I don't know you were a doctor, sir.

Linda then says the cause of her death was paralysis. The coroner is like, no, no, she drowned from the inside. I've never said this before, but she butt drowned. Is that a thing? So the coroner looks at her and they do a post-mortem and is like, no, she's starved to death. Hold on a second, let me push on this belly. My lord.

Just filled a tub. It's like I found a well. Look at all those goldfish. So the DA is now considering criminal charges against Linda. Also some of Gertrude's jewelry is missing. That's interesting. And Linda is offended. She says she would never steal.

I'm stealing. And yes. And she says that Gertrude had given it to a nurse, but then no one can find this nurse. As one. Right. Because the nurse isn't real. Oh. So this is getting pressed and a reporter interviews Linda and asks her if she has a

medical degree or a license. And Linda laughed and said. Do I have a medical degree or a license? It's good to laugh. You know, laughter does cure all except for certain things which can be cured without eating or filling your body with water through your butt. Do I have a medical degree? Let me put it this way.

Oh, it's good to giggle. What's the next question? She laughed and said, quote, thank God I have no license to kill. Jesus Christ. He's like, so what's your answer? Wasn't this the time too when you just to become a doctor or just like, I've made myself a doctor to date? It's sort of in the middle.

Okay. There's definitely some cohesion coming together as far as like, we should have some rules. Right. Okay. Yeah. Right. She did not follow her instructions. That's why she died.

She died and that was not part of the plan. I never said that. And that she was now being attacked because traditional medicine had failed and fasting was effective. Yes. It was very effective. Now no criminal charges were filed because there was no law against Linda's treatment because she wasn't a doctor.

What a lovely little loophole. Well, we can't do anything because of the murder because you're not a doctor. So what a strange little thing you've done to us. Huh? We're probably going to need to make a law based on this. Her patient had sought care from an unlicensed professional. So there you go. Right.

Now Sam Hargrave was an ex West Point graduate, a military man. He spoke several languages. Sure. And he had a... Let's fill him with water. He had a pretty good little... Just put a bunch of water in him, huh? He had a pretty good little military career.

Sure. And then he just bailed. Okay. He bailed on the army. He left his wife. He left a ton of debt and he moved to Minneapolis. Sure. Okay.

So he had been forging checks to the army, like, you know, whatever, stores and stuff. Like he's actually forging checks to the army. Okay. Wasn't anyone at the army like, you have $2.2 million, but you work here. So... Well, he wrote a check to buy the boat. So he's a deserter, he's a serial cheater, he's a wife, a bandit, and he's a check forager. And on, he comes to Minneapolis and he meets this woman, Viva Fitzpatrick, and they got

married on March 8th, 1903. Okay. Now they got married pretty quickly. Like he rushed them in to the courthouse and they did it really quick. And then he kept the marriage a secret. Sure. And a Dr. Linda Burfield keeps showing up everywhere he is. Oh, wow.

Okay. Good Lord. And he starts going to her office a lot. And Sam told Viva they were going into business together, that's why he's spending time with her. Okay. And a year later, Viva gets... What's the business?

Don't worry. Oh, it's fucking... But we're gonna do something with the 10,000 lakes around us, let's just say that. So the business is... We're not gonna have as many lakes as we used to here in Minnesota, I'm just gonna siphon that into the bellies of rubes. A year later, Viva got an anonymous letter that said Sam was in love with Dr. Burfield and Viva's marriage to him was a lie.

Okay. So she told Sam to never see Linda again. And he agreed. And he wrote Linda a letter saying so. He's like, we're done. I'm done. And she's like... Nah.

Okay. Great. I'm gonna push back. And then a month later, in front of Viva's father, who is an important state senator in Minnesota, so in front of her father, Sam tells Viva that they're not really married. And she is his common law wife. So he had set up someone to do a fake marriage at the courthouse. Okay.

And he said he's actually married to Linda. Okay. Jesus Christ. Viva's obviously shocked. Her dad is fucking pissed. So Sam then quits his job. And because... This guy stops doing a lot of stuff.

Really has commitment issues. Because he's gonna open up a health and treatment center with Linda. Oh, great. And Viva's father then uses his power to have bigamy charges filed against Sam. Okay. And it turns out his real name is Sam Hazard. Wow. That should have been a red flag.

The child is huge news in Minneapolis. Health women are claiming they're the real wife. And Linda launches a PR campaign against Viva and just attacks her moral character. What? Couldn't Viva be like, you killed a woman? Oh, stop it. I wasn't even a doctor. This fucking asshole.

God. Some people just never get over the dumb shit. Sam is found guilty of bigamy and he gets two years. Wow. So after the verdict is read, Linda yelled, quote, there had been no wedding on March 7th. Samuel was free to marry me. I am his wife.

And then she fucking burst into tears. Viva goes outside and tells the reporter she wants Sam back because evil Linda had manipulated him and he was innocent. I just cannot get over that fucking thing when that happens. Yeah. Well, he completely lied to you and obviously he's in love with another woman. I just, he needs a second chance. He needs one more try.

You don't know him. Neither do I to be fair. So Viva, Viva, all of a sudden her uncle dies in California and she gets his big inheritance. Okay. And so Sam's like, you got a lot sexier. I don't know what it is. You got like this, oh, something like. Hmm.

Dollar sign. Upgrade. Yeah. I got totally into you all of a sudden. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. Dig it.

Dig it. Yeah. But Linda and her visited him in prison. Not the same time. No difference. This is awkward. Hey, I'm his wife. What, take that food away from him.

He'll die. Just give him water. Have they been filling you with water like I requested? Through the ass. Through the ass. You're not drinking it, are you? Only through the south mouth, I'm hoping. Well, I'm scarred.

Linda continues to call him her husband. And then after the money thing, Viva gets Sam to tell Linda not to visit anymore. Okay. So the money. Wow. And then Linda goes and reads a statement to the press saying basically she's lost. And Sam is now Viva's. Okay.

Wow. Okay. People are very invested in this. She's like. There's nothing going on in the news. There's no man not eating for 40 days on the screen or anything. No, it's really important. No, it's really important.

This is the new gossip. Yeah. Linda's like, he's a scoundrel. We're done. So after two years, he gets out and everyone's expecting him to go to Viva's apartment because they're going to take up again. And he instead gets out of prison and goes straight to Linda's office. Wow.

Because they are... People are following him? They're back together. Okay. Yeah. People are following all this. He's not actually going to Viva's. He's going to Linda's.

Keep going. He's going that way. He's like, probably could have made less of a show of this, but what the fuck? I'm already here. This is crazy. If we had cameras, imagine. So they're together and he cheats on her constantly. He cheats on.

Well, both. Well, now he's with Linda. He's cheating on her. He's with Linda and Viva's like, boy, I don't know. He's cheating on her all the time. His old warden called him, quote, a dangerous man with a female sex as his past career will prove and he has lots of experience. He is a bright, intelligent, well-educated lethario and he knows just how to use his

talents. All right, warden. So this is... We're trying to actually just get like a quick blurb here. So you're really kind of rambling on. So if you were to, you would just basically say this guy is like, good with women and he's kind of shady, basically. It's like when you take a horse to a blacksmith.

Stop. Let me stop you right there. Let me stop you right there. Let me stop. Let me stop. Let me stop. Well, that's actually not bad, actually. Now that I...

Now that I hear all of it, it's not terrible. It felt wordy at first, but it got a little bit better. And like putting on the shoes. On the horse. Uh-huh. Except with the woman. Uh-huh. And putting on...

Stop talking, maybe. Yeah, it feels like you're taking a breath to talk more. And I'm just going to go ahead and say, don't do that. Um, but... Oh, but here we go. So he's constantly cheating. Linda has taken him back. Sure.

But they're fasting. In a massage business, they're taking off. Oh. People love it. Okay. But they're still like, you know, Sam has... They have a lot of baggage in Minneapolis. So they decide, let's go somewhere and start over, so they move to a place called Washington

State. Yeah. Nice and precipitous. Lots of water. You know where that goes. And there, Linda found, uh, there's a loophole that'll... A poophole. They're...

They've passed some laws in the state, but this loophole allows her to practice under the title of doctor without a medical degree. Doctor. Doctor. Like Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil. Yes. Doctor. I'm a doctor.

If this story... Like Dr. Seuss. I'm a doctor. If this story was from like 2010, uh, it would be Oprah introducing her to the world. Look under your seats. There's water. Oh my God. You're getting leaky and you're getting leaky.

Oh my God. My ass is so wet. That's right. So basically, the state had grandfathered in alternative medical practitioners like Linda to be able to call himself doctor. Okay. So 40 miles outside of Seattle, uh, Olala, Washington. Sure.

Are you from Olala? Do you want to go to Olala? Hang on, hang on to your enema buttholes. Excuse me? They bought a home on 40 acres which Linda called Wilderness Heights. Wilderness Heights. Now. Where we massage you and shout at you and fill you with water because you're starving.

Wilderness Heights. Like they do in the wilderness. Just a place to go and relax while you're just filled with a pool and massaged hard. So she wants to build a sanitarium dedicated to fasting but they don't have any money. And then in 1908, Linda writes a book titled. I'm crazy. Fasting for the cure of disease. And then we'll put a picture right in the middle, won't we?

Mm-hmm. Promise? Mm-hmm. I just saw a copy on the shelf. There was no picture. Oops. Oopsie-daisy. Fasting in the cure of diseases by doctor.

It says a cure, it says fasting will cure anything, even cancer. Yeah. And it sells like crazy. Sure. Money rolls in. Linda and Samuel had built several cabins for patients. Uh-huh. In 1908, Daisy Hagland saw Lindsay's ads and came for treatment.

For saw Linda's ads. Yes. Okay. For stomach cancer. Oh, God. Jesus Christ. And she started the treatment and Daisy's husband thinks it's working. It's going great.

I can tell. Fast enema, massage. Sure. Daisy died 50 days later. She's 38, she's a three-year-old boy. The official death certificate... This one's going to be grieving a lot over that loss. He should probably get filled with water.

I'm a doctor. The official death certificate was signed by Dr. Linda Hazard. Mm-hmm. Who should I make it out to? No, Linda. That's... Jesus Christ. Thanks for all the fun.

Linda. Doctor. Quote, quote. And she wrote on it that Daisy had died of stomach cancer, which the husband also believes. Right. Now, other patients are arriving, they're getting treatment, and they're dying. Boy, these rooms open up fast. That's the good thing.

Quick turn over here. It's like a graduate hotel. Except there's no closets or a coffee maker or... There's more water here. Oh, did you want glasses? No. Mm-mm. What do you need those for?

Why would you want glasses? If you want to fill anything, it's you. Just fill yourself. If you want hot water, fill yourself and take a jog, mister. You're steeping. Now, the Hazards, Linda and Sam are getting richer because they keep tricking the patients into signing over their possessions before they die. Wow.

What a weird thing. What a weird thing to be okay with. And then this last one here is that you'll give us everything. Great. Well, no, they're delirious from starving to death. Right. And then they have them sign a thing. All right.

And Linda, being a doctor, signed the death certificates saying people died of whatever to really smooth things out. The Hazards started working with Butterworth Mortuary. Oh, Jesus Christ. Paying them off to hide patients' bodies in caskets with other bodies. Oh. What? They're just 69-ing bodies?

What? There we go. It's called a double decker. There we are. Well, this one's so thin you can put three of them in there. There we go. Just pancake them, which gives me an idea for a meal. So it's kind of the perfect scam to scam rich people out of their money, kill them, and

hide the evidence. Right. And take all their stuff. So at this point, I would say we have about 10 dead people. Okay. And then two sisters in the 30s were from a rich European family, Dora and Claire Williamson. Oh, boy. They heard about Linda's Cure by reading about it in books and magazines while they were in

Canada. Now they had over a million dollars in inheritance, so they're really rich, and they did not tell the rest of the family that they're going to die at Linda's. Yeah, that they're getting involved, that they're going to a fasting enema place. Right. Well, yeah. It's hard to tell people that. Well, because their family would be like, no, don't do that.

It's a fasting enema place. Right. Yeah. Right. And they're both said to be pretty naive. So they had been a bunch of health institutes in Europe and America. It was sort of like a fad at this point for rich people would go, like the Kellogg Sanatorium. Like rich people would go to these places, and it's not just a cure.

It's like, it's like Gwyneth Paltrow, right? It's like that fucking weird, let's do this shit. It's bottom gooping. Yeah, it's bottom gooping. So they don't believe these two, the Williamson sisters, don't believe in modern medicine. Oh, no, it's crazy. Have you seen what they're doing? No, no.

What Linda's doing is way better. I agree, sis. It's so much better. The idea of eating, that's what's making us sick. Yeah, it gives all those parasites something to eat off of. Exactly. And we'll get rid of those together. No eating, sign me up.

That's what I'm saying. The only thing I want to be full of is water. Yeah. It's mouth mouth, bingo, sis. So mo. We tried the Canada system. It's not really healthcare. Let's go to the states where they always do it a little bit better than up here.

I couldn't agree with you more. There will never be a time where Canada gets it more than the United States. Absolutely, sis. Gosh, I'm glad I have a partner in crime. You're like my best friend who's also just looks like me. We're doppelgangers who hang out. I can't wait to be filled with water next to you. When we go off at the same time, it's going to look like the Vegas fountains.

Oh yeah. What should we tell the family? Well, let's just tell them we're going to a serious doctor. Ooh, that's a good one. I feel like we're going to be friends for a long time forever, sis. This won't ever end. Let's go to Linda's. Dora said, quote, such medicine is for fools.

It's foolish medicine. Modern medicine is dull. Well, by the way, if you are filling people with pills of mercury, like it is a system to be rejected. It's just not to be, well, pardon the pun, filled with water. Right. They also do other dumb shit. Yeah.

It's like, but I would understand being like, yeah, they like a few mercury pills for most of your life. So Claire writes to Linda that Dora had swollen glands and pain in her knees. Now she's exaggerating. She's got knee pain. That comes from eating. Neither of them are actually ill. They just have a couple of aches and pains here and there, but.

Oh, we'll get you ill. Claire has been told by an osteopath in London that her uterus had dropped back on her spine, which caused inflamed ovaries. In 1911, Linda wrote back to the sisters and gave them instructions. I'd love to take your mug. Yeah, I'd love for you to come here. Like Claire was to put a wad of cotton soaked in boric acid and glycerin into her vagina for 24 hours, three times a week.

Oh my God. And then you will know an orgasm like none you have known. Also it keeps out. It keeps out ants and and suitors. Well, she said I want to fornicate, but it's my time of the week. What do you mean? I've got that boric acid cotton in me again. She said this would relieve congestion and it'll really cure up those sinuses of yours.

Yeah. Yeah. Just blow your vagina. You're going to really clear up that congestion you got upstairs. And then the sinuses go from your nose all the way down your vagina, my dear. That's right. They also gave themselves animas. Sure.

Of course. Why not? It's normal. And then they came and lived in an apartment in downtown Seattle because the sanatorium isn't finished. With all the bodies, they've got to drag out like we're renovating. We're waiting for some of those caskets to double decorum. So the apartment is called the Buena Vista on the corner of Bolson and Olive Streets,

Bolson. You can get a room there now for $7,000 a month. It's still there. It's still there. So they got their treatment during the day at Linda's office, except Saturdays and Sundays are just for animas and massages. So during the week, they're getting whatever else they get. There's the fasting.

Uh-huh. And then there's... I like the idea of going to the office to be like, oh, okay, don't eat. Okay. See you later. It'll be $80. But there's other stuff. I don't know what it is, but it's like, you know, the vagina bore gas and shit.

But then only on weekends, that's strictly animas and massages. Yeah. The weekends do really go crazy. Honestly, they're getting animas every week. You don't want to see our water bill on the week. It's wild. But we don't have to flush the toilets. It's okay.

Recycle. Mm-hmm. Recycle all the water. Mm-hmm. What? Oh, I hate the environment. Is that what you're saying? Good God, people.

If you don't like the sound of that, you're going to hate the future of this country. So they're getting animas seven days a week. Oh, my God. But when the animas first began, they were 30 minutes, each day they become longer, an hour, then two, then three hours, sometimes it is an all-day enema. Yeah. Oh, that's right. Saturday, Saturday, Saturday.

Come get your fill. You're not eating, but we're going to replace that empty stomach with something filling. Sure. Linda said, quote, we must eliminate the poisons, dear girls. Mm-hmm. And the organs. And the nutrition. And everything.

And that money of yours. I'm sorry. What did I say? On top of this, they have to take many walks a day to get the poison out. While they are full of the, no, I think... Well, if they're doing all-day animas, are you just like on a table? You're not going like, go for a walk. Yeah, no, no, no.

Because then you potentially are taking a walk and geysering. No, not that. Right. No. It's... Oh, my God. Holy shit. Whoa.

This is like... Wow. They're geysering to space. Hmm. So the sisters get thinner and weaker as time goes by. What do you think it's due to? I don't know. I'd love to talk to a doctor.

So neighbors start asking you about them as it's clear there's a problem. Well, so we've never been healthier. What? Yes, sis, this was a great call. I told you, once we came here, our problems were over. That's what I was saying to you before we left. Remember? Actually, I don't.

My cognitive skills have faded quite rapidly. Mine, too. When you called me sister, I was like, why is this woman talking to me? Oh, we're sisters. I checked earlier. How did you check? Sometimes I see books in the sky and I read them. I see skybooks.

Gosh, remember sandwiches? Nope. Good thing we didn't stay at home where we were sick. We were dying there in Canada. The United States knows what it's doing. It's called free market medicine. Oh, yeah. This has a nice ring to it.

Gosh, you got a lot of ribs. You do, too, sis. Who knew? One neighbor heard moaning and groaning and it was so bad that she tried to put a pillow overhead at night to drown it out. Who did? The neighbor. The neighbor?

They're moaning and groaning. Oh, there. I thought you meant their heads. Let's just kill them. That stopped it. Okay. I like the neighbor victimized it like it was just I was sleeping eight hours a night at the time.

You know, they were next door dying. I was having a lot of trouble sleeping at the time. Couldn't sleep with all their dying noises. Oh, here we go again. So I mean, they're under 100 pounds at this point. As the treatment goes on, Dora believes in it more and more. It's working, sis. Believe the system.

Linda came to see them and looked at Dora's tongue, quote, your tongue is not clean. You are not clear. You are not fit to take food yet. Your tongue will have to be clean and your breath must be sweet. I think that some food would be a good idea. By sweet, can I have a mint or a honey? A piece of orange or fucking pumpkin. I'll eat some dog shit if you'll give it to me.

I'm so hungry for anything. What if your whole plan was to just star people until they would eat your shit? Jesus Christ. Hello. Hello. I'm your doctor. It's a long plan, but trust me, when we get to the end, it'll come like a race horse. I'm going to send you to...

Never mind. We're done here. Soil soured. So two months in, Linda realizes she has to move them to the cabins because they look absolutely horrifying. I understand that she believes her bullshit, but she has to be like a lot of people are dying and if she's actively moving people to hide them, I mean, I guess to some extent it is just a con to get money.

But it's also like she's like... Well, wait till we get to the end because it's... I will wait for nothing. I wait for no mail. But it's super... Yes, all your questions are correct. Does she believe it fully at this point? Wait till we get to the end.

It is... The whole story is it's just... You have to hear all the information... Yeah, towel off, but you have to hear all the information before you... That's right, put something under your bottom. I knew what I was getting into. Oh, yeah. So they have deep dark lines under their mouths, under their eyes.

They're weighing like 60, 70 pounds. Oh my God. They can barely walk because they're delirious. You're doing so good, girls. So to get them to the cabins... Look at you floating like a balloon. We're going to have to tether them to Earth. They're doing so well.

I've never felt better, Lila. So Linda has to call an ambulance to move them up to the cabins. I mean, a red flag. And the neighbors all know something's horrifying. So when they call the ambulance and the ambulance is outside, all the neighbors come out and gather around to watch. Do you have anything to help us sleep? So much moaning going on there.

And then they're in the ambulances and they're waiting and they're waiting. Why are they waiting? Because right before they leave, Linda has them meet with her attorney who goes into the ambulance. What? Oh my God. And... Well, are you a doctor?

No, I'm a lawyer. But listen. Can you sign? I put a pen in your little hand. Claire shook as she signed a document giving Linda $32 a year for treatment. And another line on the document stating if they died, their bodies were to be cremated and disposed of by Dr. Hazard. Oh, a Dr. Hazard?

He's not a doctor. She's Dr. Hazard. Oh, because she took... That's her husband. Oh, okay, okay. I didn't know she... Okay. I thought he was suddenly like, I too am a doctor.

I'm the burning one. When Linda's job's done, that's when Dr. Hazard comes to work. And the sisters arrive, the cabins aren't done yet, so they're set up in the Hazard's house. And Linda keeps... Now, she separates the two sisters and continues the fasting and the enemas and the massages. So they grow weaker. And if they even consider stopping treatment, Linda would say if they did, it wouldn't work.

And they wouldn't have their ills cured. Ugh. So... I mean, you must just...I mean, there is just a level of your body and mind are getting no nutrition at this point. Plus, also, I mean, you don't know what's going on in there. So it's like, even if you are like, I want to go. She's like, well, try.

And then she's like, nope. But I want to go. Nope. Like, so she... I mean, you are just totally fucked at that point. Yes. Yeah. So somehow, Dorega's moved into one of the cabins and somehow she writes a telegram.

I don't know. Like, I read the telegram and I'm like, why did they send it? But they must have sent it. They sent this telegram to who? Either Linda or Sam sent it. And so she writes a telegram to her childhood nanny who is visiting her family in Australia. So the nanny reads the telegram and immediately like literally hops on a fucking boat the next day and heads to Seattle to check on the sisters.

And Sam meets her at the dock. Linda sends this telegram. Yeah. Which I cannot... It's one of the things... There's all these weird things that happen and you're like, I don't know why they did that. But they sent the telegram.

They had to have. Because Dorega couldn't send it on her own. And the telegram... Okay. Are you about to say what the telegram basically says? No, no. I'm not going to say because it just describes the treatment and what they're doing. So she...

But is that in any way maybe like to cover her own ass in the sense that like... No, it's not. It's... The telegram isn't like, fucking help me. It's... No, but more like, here's what's going on with the sisters. We think it's fine. Yeah.

Right. And the nanny reads it and is like, no, this is fucking crazy. The nanny too. She's like... Yeah. I've got to help them. Her parents are dead. They don't have parents.

Oh, okay. The parents are gone. Oh, Jesus Christ. Oh, right. Because that's how the money... Yeah. So they got the money. So the nanny comes and Sam meets her at the dock.

Hey! Thanks for coming! Whoa! Whoa! What a couple of months, huh? Oh, it's crazy! Oh, my God. You don't look well!

So he takes her to Linda's office and he tells her Claire has died. Oh, shit. And that Dora had gone, quote, hopelessly insane. I don't know why we're surprised. What? How did that happen? She passed away? What?

She was getting treatment. Was there... She was supposed to be fine. Give the corpse an anima. So then Linda came and told her, quote, there was no hope for either one of them. We're all shocked. There's no... Yeah, well, one of them's dead.

Yeah. We really think we're going to lose... At least she's... We're not sure... I mean, she's passed away. So we're not sure what we can do at this point. We're trying animas on the corpse. We're trying to...

See if we can reanimate her. But so far, that's just fun. It's not actually working. But it's really crazy to watch. So we're probably... It's like a hot water bottle at this point. It's sad. I feel bad for the people who did this to her.

So now Linda offers to show her Claire's embalm body and takes her to Butterworth and Son's mortuary. Oh, my God. I mean, she's just like, I just got in. And she said like three times how great of a job the embalmer did. Like, she's very... This guy is the best. Fucking...

He's an embalmer. You're going to love how dead she is. Like, it is so good. This guy is so good. So it doesn't look like Claire at all. A different colored hair. He did that good of a job. Yeah.

No, he's unbelievable. Yeah. That's what happens. Different colored hair, different looking hands. Yeah. Looks different. But is dressed in one of Claire's... She's a man now.

It's a lot of stuff has changed. It's just crazy what this guy does. He's the best in the business. But dressed in one of Claire's outfits. You can tell by the dress that it's her, though. And so Linda says the embalming has changed her quite a bit. I know. This guy's unbelievable.

He's like the Picasso of embalmers. When asked if she recognized Claire, the nanny said, quote, no, not really. That's how good he is. That's us. We want to put that on the advertisement. I don't even think it's her. That's great. Is that good?

So then afterwards, Sam took nanny to see Dora at the cabin, and then nanny says it looks like a shack. The door is just a piece of plywood. Windows have no panes. The patients do. And Dora is just skin and bones. She weighs about 50 pounds. Oh, my God.

The nanny, quote, it was ghastly. A skull with skin drawn tightly over the bones. And Dora begs the nanny to take her away. But then the next day, she said it's working, and she should keep doing the treatment. Who said that? The nanny? Dora. Oh, Dora did.

I'm finally getting there. I would hate to quit so close to the finish. So the nanny refuses to leave. And you seem quite ill. Close curtains. A few days later on July 4th, the hazards have a party for all the patients. What the fuck, they're like killing them. Guys, we're going to make water fireworks.

We're going to fill you and then put your own guts. Time to celebrate America. Yeah, the only country that would allow this. While the 4th of July celebration was going on, two different patients approached the nanny and begged her to get them out of there. Please, please. I want to celebrate my independence. And then one day after that, the nanny sees Linda wearing Claire's silk dressing gown

and hat. Fucking crazy. So she's dressing in Claire's color. What the fuck? I mean. Can she ask Linda where all of Dora's and Claire's belongings are? Oh, they gave it to the lawyer when they were in the ambulance. As one does.

And Linda said, well, Dora signed over a power of attorney so they could have the sister's money and possession. So that's ours now. And Linda sent the telegram to the nanny. Yes. Or Sam. Or what the fuck? I should say Sam's a huge drunk.

So maybe he did it when he's drunk. I don't know what I'll do. That's quite a move. So the nanny's furious and she demands, she's like, I'm taking Dora. It feels like one of those shows where you invite in the expert to like make over your place. Like, because the nanny's like, what the fuck is like every part of it. She's like, wait, what the fuck?

And they're like, oh, it's fine. Yeah. I'm just going to wear her dress, relax nanny. So feels like the audience is a little creeped out. Feels like it's gotten dark. I agree. So the nanny's furious and she demands to leave with Dora, but Dora is signed over legal guardianship to the hazards.

So they're like, no, she's staying. No. So the nanny calls a relative who's a lawyer named John Herbert and he comes to Seattle and he goes to the sanitarium or whatever the fuck it is. And they show him, they show him a bill for $2,000 that is now owed. So he comes there to be like, you're killing them and they're like, so they owe us a lot of money. Thank God you're here.

We are just furious over what's gone on. Three anima is so much they walked out on the bill. I mean, they died out on the bill. It's just someone's got to pay for this treatment. Yes. I'm dressed like her. Relax. You people are so weird.

So they owe over $2,000 and Linda says, Dora can leave when the bills paid. And then they start, they start negotiations. And so John is negotiating and gets them down to $1,000. And then they pay them off and Linda lets Dora go and so she's off the property and she's safe. Oh my God. I mean, holy fuck. She lives, she has to have help for the rest of her life, but she lives.

John goes to the local authorities and gave them enough evidence to start an investigation and they would find- They were like, that'll do. That's plenty. For sure. No, we've got people over on the scene already actually to be honest with you. That's a- They found several cases of suspicious deaths. Several, instead of all. And yeah.

Two, two were flagging as strange. Nine makes sense. They drowned. Strange financial transactions. So Linda's arrested and charged. So she's arrested and charged with first degree murder of Claire and there's obviously a trial. But a lot of the victims' families take Linda's side in the trial because they wanted to believe that they hadn't done something to put their loved one in harm, right?

So like Daisy Haglund who we talked about earlier died of stomach cancer, her husband backs Linda through everything. She quit at 39. The lawyers tried to prove that Linda starved her patients till they died and then took all their money and possessions. Which seems like a layup. A layup. Linda's lawyers said they all came willingly for treatment which is also true.

Still. Even then if you're in the jury like, boy am I the only one who's like, I could go either way on this, it's like, yeah, clearly she starved all those people and filled them with water and didn't feed them, but they did go there. Linda said every person who died in her care died of their original diagnosis. Which is what she put on all the deserterians. Original diagnosis? Yeah, like stomach cancer.

Stomach cancer. She came here full of water. She had bad knees. She died from bad knees. It was also brought up during the trial that Linda had dissected bodies in her bathtub to get rid of them easier. Oh wait, wait, wait, my bathtub. Good lord.

And that Butterworth's, Butterworth's mortuary had showed other bodies to relatives. Butterworth is like the syrup name. I don't know how I feel about the fucking mortician being like, oh, hmm, oh, that's sweet. Have you ever, have you ever licked a body after a couple of things? David? It's like, honey. Linda's like, look, I'm just an unorthodox, unorthodox health practitioner.

Oprah did this. Yes. Have you ever heard of Dr. Oz? So the jury at first, when they, when they take the, they all sit down and they go, what do you think? I don't know. Five of a first degree murder, two for second degree murder. Butterworth must have been losing their fucking minds.

Well, it's first degree murder, right? Not so fast, mister. I'm not so sure about that. Two for second degree murder. Okay. For manslaughter. One for manslaughter. Uh huh.

And then two other ones are like, we don't know which one it is yet. We don't know who the real enema is in this story. So they compromise and pick manslaughter. Oh, Jesus Christ. Why? She must have been like, holy shit, you're a bad jury. Thank you. Well, she, here's the verdict and goes outside the courthouse and Linda screams, clothe,

I am the victim. And Sam grabs her hard and tells her to shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. I'm drunk. Shut the fuck up. Pulls her away. That's the first time he's ever been like that with her in public.

And she's like, oh, yeah, he's like, he's probably trying to find that woman from years ago. The other one. He's like, she ran here. What happened? Where's Viva? Viva wasn't crazy. The Tacoma Times headline was fast fiend is guilty.

Everyone's calling. Everyone's following this trial. Obviously. The paper now reports. They followed a dude who didn't eat for 40 days. They're like, this is fucking crazy. And the paper reports stuff that did not come up in the trial that they knew like Linda had sold Claire's teeth days after she died.

To who? As you do. Hello. Galileo d'Altit. I was looking. Who is the teeth buyer? Well, Dennis, because remember you put teeth in. Oh, for fuck's sake.

Oh, you're very lucky. I've got a great set of chompers. They broke. Yeah, they're weak. They are. These haven't chewed in months. Let me walk you through this fresh set I've got over here. So she got a sentence of two to 20 years hard labor.

Hard labor. And she appealed and is out on bond till the Supreme Court rules. Oh, well, fucking. Always have had faith in that institution. Well, it was the Washington Supreme Court. Right after the trial, alt doctors and fasting doctors are demanding justice for Linda. She also had the support of women who saw a fellow woman who achieved success being attacked by the male dominated medical community and an all male court.

You can't. I mean, people are now arguing in the papers pro and for like she should be let out. She's not a murderer. She's a martyr. It's a whole fucking thing because you have all these people who are just. It's very much like the vaccine thing, which is all the new age people who are like vaccines are right. Right.

Right. So she gets stripped of her medical credentials by the state of Washington, which by the way, we're not really medical credentials anyway. They're like, you need to stop air quoting that you're a doctor. Boy, you've really just taken a lot away from me, haven't you? Is that your dress now? Someone died in it and I'm wearing it. Fuck you.

I'm a doctor. God, you people. So judgy. So she hits the road and she goes on a lecture tour giving speeches about the cure of fasting. And she also still gives up medical advice when a woman and her child are found starved to death. She's admitted, she's been treating her. She's been treating her.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So the coroner removed the body from the Butterworth mortuary. So it's still fucking going on. She's had a trial. She's been convicted. And now we have two more dead people of mom and her kid at the Butterworth one. She doesn't even switch.

The mortuaries. Yeah. They go. Yeah. And that guy's shady, too. He literally like skirted the whole thing, but he's like, sure we got room for two, whatever. Another patient, Mary Bailey, was found at the sanitarium dead. So Linda's back in court.

And she looks, she says, look, I was just friends with Mary, not, it wasn't a doctor patient. I can't believe she went through all that shit and she's like back in court like, it's like another traffic violation. She says, look, it was just a friend, a friend chip and not, wasn't her doctor, even though chewing the fat or lack thereof, even though Mary's diary is all like, my doctor treated me. My doctor treated me.

Oh, diaries. But the DA is like, well, Linda's going to be in jail soon anyway when the Supreme Court decides so they don't prosecute either one of these cases. Good work. Nice. So another, another man dies on October 1913. This time who the fuck is still listening to her? Who's like, what do you think?

She's like, we should probably die. That's a good idea. Kind of thought of that. Great. Well, it's still this time. It's a disciple of Linda's who did the, so she's got right followers to flock. Finally the Supreme Court rules that she has to serve her sentence and she's like, well, good.

So this time she's in prison, she writes to supporters and they come and visit her and then she gets out after two years on November 15th, 1915. I can't. Six months later. No. Governor Lister offers her a pardon if she would leave America. Will you fucking go? Will you go?

Please. I don't know. Will you fucking go? Can I practice my medicine in other countries? Will you just go? Yes. I'm thinking about it. Can I take all the stuff I got from here?

In order to get to this other country, can I travel by putting a bunch of water in myself and going across the Pacific like a speed boat? Yes. Well, I'm interested. Can I bring Mr. Butterworth with me? So she does. She leaves. Her and Sam go to New Zealand.

What a cunt. I was just like, what cunt? No wonder they got all those rainforests, okay. And she immediately starts a practice there. New Zealand's like, I'll don't say it, kids. No, it's very successful. It's very successful. She publishes books, and in 1920, after making a shitload of money...

Can you imagine being forced out of America and people would be like, yeah, you could come here. I want to hear what you have to say medically. In 1920, after making a ton of money in New Zealand, she returns to Washington state. What about the fucking deal? Well, I'm back. Takes over the sanitarium again. What?

What? Has enough money now... Ever heard of a sequel, motherfucker? Has enough money now to actually build it up into what she'd always dreamed of it being. That's right. A houseboat. Now, she's not allowed to practice medicine, but she is calling herself a doctor. And she's also really practicing.

Yes. Then she came back after a short time, and, sorry, she's built the huge sanitarium in Olala, which she's dreamed of for years. A lot of people are probably like, what's a sanitarium? Well, instead of calling it a sanitarium, she calls it a school of health. Nice. So then she can open up her business saying these are students. Oh, no.

And patients came, and she starved them, and they died. What the fuck is going on? Now, she wasn't out of the view of the law. She went to Los Angeles, and she got arrested in 1925. She was arrested here in Washington after a patient died. Linda, quote, you bet I'm gonna fight because I am suffering for a cause, not for crimes. What cause? Think of it.

Being called a murderist for trying to help people. Oh, my God. No, for murdering them. Lots of them. Who's dressed as that? Well, she's found guilty. Okay. And given $100 fine.

Oh, fuck. No prison. Because we're clearly at a time where I think we were before, where they, after the verdict, she's in the paper, she's in the news, and people are still dying. Now the prosecutors and everyone else is like, well, they fucking deserve it, they're dumb. I guarantee you that's what's happening. Like if you're still going to this woman after everything we know, in 1935, the sanitarium burned down.

Oh, everyone. Aim your asses at the flames. Push. The fire department's like, how did they get here so fast? They did it. It's my people. I told them I'd get them a pizza if they farted. So Linda is basically stumbling around while the fire is raging.

And she's saying, quote, it's all gone. Everything's gone. Everything I worked for, it's all gone. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pain.

That's some good, nice pain. Yeah, that's what a lot of other people have felt. After it burned down, her business slowly dwindled and fell apart. So fire does stop things. She kept trying, she kept trying comebacks and whatnot. And then in 1935, Linda became sick. Oh, I know what to do. Stop eating and drown her.

And she treated herself. I bet she goes to a, OK. With enemas, fasting, and massages. Wow. That's fucking kind of crazy to hear. For three years, she remains in bed, just yelling at Sam. Oh, Sam's like, I wonder what Viva's doing. Somewhere.

Come to bed. Oh, sorry, fuck. Until she died of starvation in 1938. Wow. So that's what you mean by the answers at the end. So she did believe it. She fully believed it. Well, one of two things.

Uh-oh. She could have believed it. She did, to some extent. Or she knew it was over. For three years, though? I mean, who knows? This is a pretty stubborn human being. I know.

But you would be like an ending where I'd be like, OK, she's full of, well, water. But would be one where she seeks medicine. She goes to a natural doctor and the doctor is like, yeah, you can do this and you can do that. And you know, stuff like that. She's treating herself by starvation, massages, and enemas. Well, she's always got enemas. So that's just.

Yeah. But still, she had killed a lot of people through those. So she did believe her. She must have believed it. Yeah, her bullshit. That's what I think. Yeah. I think she believed it.

Or, yeah. I mean, she had to. The other thing is, is like. There's two lindas. She. She's still with us. But the thing is, if you go back to her childhood, I think she believed it. Like this is essentially.

I think what you're getting at is that her father drowned in water. Dude, you literally cannot take that out of the equation. That is, a psychologist would be like, yeah, that's. But he probably doesn't know about the fish marriage. Now a psychologist would be like, I would actually like to see you once a week. What do you want to talk to me about? It's just a grouper and a man. But yeah, I think.

I think unconsciously she brought water into it because it killed her father. And I think. That's deep. And I think. That's some deep shit. That's some deep shit, daddy. And then remember her, her parents who she loved did really. Want to help her, but caused her suffering and pain by putting something.

Yeah, no. A pill inside of her is definitely there because basically we're poisoning her with what they were calling medicine. And so she went the complete other direction and she was like, nothing is good for you. Yeah, except water flushing your system, not eating. The answer to survival is to have nothing. And it's like, no, the answer is like in the middle, you don't need to eat mercury and you don't need to but flush.

But like this to me is such a beautiful love story, but this is like a psych I say, yes. But this is like a just psychologically, this is the one of the most fascinating ones ever because also like her childhood, you can just go like, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right. But also the amount of people who go to her. Yeah, but people are always seeking out, you're talking about America where there is no actual. It's the freedom that I love. Yeah.

And then I hold dear. I'm not done. Oh, please be done. Don't tell me all of a sudden, like her grave, it's just like, I don't know, we put a sprinkler nozzle over her grave. Oh, I didn't, oh, shit. Her daughter in her will got $1. My water broke as a final fuck you $1, America's Nina Nina was upset about the right the Floyd.

Yeah. Butterworth's funeral home is still in business, what committing a egregious crime. No. No, back then they credit they should not be a business. I thought you were saying like now they're still like, we like to do what we call it is the whopper. We double stack them. And one victim, Daisy Haglund, yeah, the 39 days, well, that is a guy named Ivar Haglund's

mom. Seattle just lost its fucking mind. We got to go there tonight. So he's a he was a famous guy at a restaurant. I think he died in the 80s, but he was like a total character that everybody knew. Of course he opened a restaurant, opened a restaurant, right? He opened a fucking restaurant cycle continues. His mom starved himself to death herself, not himself.

And he opened a fucking restaurant. People need to eat. It's like mom always didn't say people got to eat crazy. What is this place called House of Clams Ivar's House of Clams. What's the word? Acres of Clams. Ivar's Acres of Clams. Okay.

That was good though. That was clear. That was clear. But yeah. It's also it's a lot of I didn't enjoy that many women just yelling at me. So like eight in a row. You fucking idiot. Oh my God.

Stupid man. You know how much money I pay for that? Say it again. Acres. Put your heel on my balls. Acres. So the main source of this is starvation heights. The book by Greg Olson.

That's the main source. The former tight end of the Chicago Bears. That's some dark shit. So. Thank you so much Seattle. Enjoy the rest of your night. We appreciate it. Thank you.

Thank you.