The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 580 - The 1835 New York City Fire

Episode Date: April 25, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine the 1835 New York City fire. Sources Tour Dates Redbubble Merch   Mindbloom  

If you are experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction or ED, don't worry, you're not alone. 52% of Canadian men between 40 and 70 suffer from ED. To get more information, sign up at edinfo.ca. That's E for erectile, D for dysfunction, info.ca, then talk to your doctor because you are not alone when dealing with ED. You are listening to the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American History podcast where each week, I, sock wearer, man who uses lotions. Lotions. Owner of his own credit cards. Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to this guy. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Definitely feels like you really inflate your credits and one of them is that you use lotions

and then you just kind of give a weak toss in this direction. I do use lotions. Nobody wants to hear any elaboration. Nope. Like a lotion, like you put on your skin, like a nice nice. Let's stop. I don't want to go any further down this. It's called Grammy Merties, lotions and jive. It's a special type of lotion. What do you use it? I put it on my body. All over? Not necessarily, all over my arms. Can I ask you a serious question? Are you lotioning your nipples? That's not a serious question. This is a workplace. Can I do a follow up comment? I'm going to call HR. A lot of people are talking about how they look pretty chafed. Well, number one, no one can see

my nipples. We've all seen plenty. We've seen plenty. We've seen plenty. Well, at least they're paying. That's a Patreon thing. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Well, there's only like four Patreon subscribers. A lot of people on the Tron are saying that looks like your nipples are, you know, they're not. Number one, I'm calling HR because this is a violation of every workplace. Okay. Well, let me just go a step further. You, whenever you call HR, explain to me that you run HR and that's just simply not how HR should work. Hey, Gareth, this is HR. Nope. We're actually not happy with what's going on. Can I ask a question to HR? We need to have another sexual harassment. Can I, can I ask a question? Can I ask a question real quick just about this?

I've noticed that the head of HR's nipples are chafing and so have a lot of the people and we're curious if he's lotioning them. Are you lotioning your nipples? This is exactly what we're talking about. Love to know if you're lotioning your nipples. This is a good time to cut to the music and called it quote is jam pads. Jam pads. I'm the fucking hippo guy. My name's Gary. My name's Gareth. Wait. Is it for fun? And this is not going to come to Tiggly Clot, Gary. Okay. This is like an ad on a five part coefficient. My room's a place. Now hit him with a puppy. You both present sick arguments. No sleep, no hippo. That's like no hippo. Action partner. Hi, Gary. No. Is he done, my friend? No. No. Ronda, Ronda in the car. Gareth, the dollop is going to be on tour.

We're going to be in San Jose on July 27th. We'll be in San Francisco on July, July. You're not helping at all. It's great. On the 28th. We'll be in Sacramento on the 30th. Then we'll be in Boise Salt Lake, Boulder, Denver, Las Vegas, Phoenix, San Diego. All those dates in October. One of those dates is going to conflict with a showcase, a baseball showcase for Finn. So I'm going to have to figure that out. Prediction. You'll have your iPad on stage and you'll... No, I'm going. Oh. Oh. Interesting. Okay. That's interesting. So I do it alone? I don't know what's going to happen. Maybe. Maybe you'll do it alone. That'll be crazy. You give me the story. We could... By the way, you don't want to open that can of worms because then

I can start doing solips, solo dollops. And I'll just steal your stories and I'll just go on the road and I'll... You know what I'll do? I'll do the first five you did in the closet like a weirdo alone. I'll do those. Imagine, first of all, those were a lot of critics called art. Just straight up art. Your wife called scaring. Your wife called worrying. Secondly, you would be like a car just creating out of control on a canyon mountain if you were doing it alone. I mean, what would be great would be when I don't understand, when I'd be like, so I guess he was that guy. I guess he was actually... Okay. So remember before when I was saying it seemed like he might be that guy? He was that guy. He was actually that guy. Oh, but watch Royal Crackers on Adult Swim in HBO Max.

Watch Royal Crackers. It's fucking hilarious. Andrew Santino, Jason Ruiz starring it and a bunch of other great people. It's very funny. Go watch that. Gareth, we are brought to you in part by Mind Bloom. Mind Bloom, of course, is a blooming mind thing. Very good. Thank you. I am a professional. Very good. What is it? It's at home. Ketamine therapy. Look, there's not going to be a people are looking for a quick fix for anxiety, depression. What? You find new therapist. You work out. You trail this different stuff. It's hard. People are trying diets. And some people just need something to unlock their brain. A lot of people have been doing ketamine therapy and having success with it. So that's why we're talking about Mind Bloom. There's a new tool to improve your

mental health at home ketamine therapy. Mind Bloom is the leader in at home ketamine therapy, having safely helped thousands of people overcome their anxiety and depression. Unlike traditional talk therapy, ketamine works quickly and doesn't have the unpleasant side effects of traditional antidepressants. In a study of over 1200 Mind Bloom clients, 89% reported improvements in their anxiety and depression after just two sessions. Yes, Dave. And I will say anecdotally, I have a friend who has been using it who thinks it's incredible. I think it is an amazing time when we are talking about home ketamine therapy. You basically do a consultation at home and then you're pretty much off to the races if you want to be. I'm using lotions.

Well, because your nipples are chafing. Oh, that's the callback. So right now, Mind Bloom is offering our listeners $100 off your first six session program when you sign up at mindbloom.com slash dollop and use promo code dollop. Take the first step and break free from your anxiety and depression with mindbloom mindbloom.com slash dollop and use promo code dollop. Mindbloom, let's go. We're both gonna do it. Yeah, for sure. Yes, together, holding hands. I don't know if they are okay with, but that's what we're doing. What just happened where you pitched it and then also became the critic? I'm sorry, we can't do that. Yes, we can. It's very strange. It's not okay. Do you have anything else to say? Anything that's not rude or about nipples?

Knock, knock. Who's there? Rough. Rough who? Dandruff on your nipples. Get some lotion on him, you weirdo. Trigger warning. Yes, nailed his ass. 1834, year of our Lord, J-Town, who all the kids love because he's hip and he's Christ. Oh, is Christ wearing gold necklaces? You're damn right he is. I don't know if I like turning him into Mr. T, but can I tell you that today my Lyft driver's name was Christ? And it was, I'll tell you, it was weak. We really, it was amazing because he could drive on water. I got home in like 85 seconds. Everyone, I'll be debuting my new set, Jesus Stuff at the Sacramento Wiggle Factory on March 12th, 2026. Go ahead, Dave. And I'm making a movie called J-Town. It's weird that we have these little trends where we say something and then

your tweet, like your replies become mainly that. And I'm definitely in a J-Town face. Do you know why? Because people are super into J-Town. Because it's stupid and people know that I think it's stupid. Well, you're not a kid, are you? So all the kids are into it. No. Okay. Teens are like, it's off the hook, is what they're saying. Hey, hey, Steve Buscemi meme, relax. It's radical, is what they're calling it. Oh my God, Dave, stop. The Evening Post reported 843 buildings burned down in New York City in 1834. That's a lot of buildings. Al-Qaeda? It was not Al-Qaeda, but that is a very good guess. Saddam Hussein funding Al-Qaeda? No, they're still not around. Uday Kusey? Now you're getting warmer. Thank you. I'll keep sniffing. So most buildings are made of

wood. And that's obviously when it comes to fire. Good. It's a thing. Yep. It's helpful. It responds. It's for fire. That's right. And so it's not a surprise there would be a lot of fires. Obviously, everyone knows there's a lot of fires back then in cities. Huge danger in cities. So owners ensured their property way back then, fire insurance, a lot of fire insurance. The fire insurance started in 1787. That was when the Mitchell Assurance Company was formed in New York City. So they've had fire insurance for a while. Okay. New York also had a bunch of smaller insurance companies like City Fire, Eighth Ward Fire, Farmers Fire and Loan, Franklin Fire, New York Bowery Fire, United States Fire, all kinds of fire. Nice. Companies. You couldn't have, if you were a fire

insurance company from outside New York, they referred to you as foreign. So if you're like from Pennsylvania, they'd call you a foreign business. Foreign, okay. That's cool. Which is kind of what New York does now. It's not, that hasn't changed. You don't get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Your country insurance. Get out of here. For good. Now, could fires get building insurance? And they were, the insurance companies were discouraged from setting up in the States. Like at one point, they passed a law, was a 10% tax on your profits, and you had to pay a thousand dollar bond just to set up business in New York. So that led to a lot of small companies in New York. So a bunch of little small companies. Right. In 1835, there were about 24 fire insurance

companies. Interesting direction we're charting early, but okay. Yeah, no, I agree. So to speed up the response time, fire departments in April put a watchman in the city hall cupula. Sure. Right. The cupula. Yeah, we know what it is. The little bell thing on top of it. Right. The bell top. It's not a teacup. No, it's the tip. It looks like a little bell tower. If the, if the building were a cock, it's the tip. Again, that's not at all helpful. Where this seaman would be. No, no, no, no, no, that's where the loads shoot out of. And we should point out that a lot of people like to use these to teach their children about history. And this episode so far is not going to be one of those. No, for sure. And it's weird that of

all the, of all the subjects, you could make this sexual, but they're there. It's just, if you picture the building as a dong, this is the jizz squirter part. I'm not going to do that. I have to call HR again. Do not. Hello. No, no, no, no. Why are you picking up the phone? Nobody's even this. Hello. I'm calling RH. So they had a guy 24 seven up in the copula there on top of city hall. Watching for fire. Yeah. Like, like, like the way today, like around here, like a prairie dog, they have guys and fire stations, like with with Pernac, who's looking out for fires. But at this time, there were so many fires in the city. There's just some dude. That must be a very stressful job. Yeah. Oh, for sure. So he's up there. He would just keep watch for fires.

And if there's a fire, then he'd ring the bell that's in the little bell tower thing. But it's very difficult. I mean, there are like, as established, it's a wild place where there are probably fires just being like, people are probably lighting small fires on the street, I would assume, right? There's a lot of like, imagine it's I'd imagine it's a very smoky place because right now it's got their chimneys going and they're cooking and there's got to be a lot of so you got one. We got one. No, wait. Sorry. Never mind. Never mind. Nope. I do this every I barbecue pigs every day at the same time. Sorry, Ted. Sorry, Ted. Wait, sorry. Every time I start a barbecue, we got a fire. What are you doing? Chinese place is Chinese food. It's five. Okay.

Are they using fire to make it? No, Mr. No, he's using steam is what I wanted to hear his response. I wanted to hear you do his response. That's dangerous territory like with it. No, that would be super racist. If if I did that, I'm a white guy. I don't want to do the no, but he's a different guy. He's a different guy feels like yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I didn't I yeah, he just talked quietly so only I can interpret for him. All right. All right. I get your point though. Yeah, it's a danger. Gotta be careful. So early on May 28th, 1835, a fire broke out at the top floor of a third story building, the head, the tip. It's called the tip that the very top floor was a boarding house and it spread really quick and took out 20 other houses, some

mall liquor shops and a grocery shop and so fast. You just became New York for grocery shop. Did you did you notice that? What? You said a grocery shop. Well, they didn't have I don't want to say grocery stores because grocery stores didn't exist yet, like the way we think of them. Are you being serious? This is like a distinction that is real. I could do one on on how grocery stores began, but they didn't have them yet. Really, we think of them. So I don't want to say that. That's why I said shop. Well, you said but you didn't say shop. He said shop. A shop. So so when it was over, about 200 Irish and African American families are homeless. That's what happens. People are what New York City at that time called non people, non peeps. So on August 12th, a fire started in a

bookbinder office on Fulton Street. It destroyed boarding houses, warehouses, tenements, a woman's hat store. Oh, my God. A weapons manufacturer. The owls on the hats are going up. This is why we shouldn't have put trees on these hats. Oh, dear me. How are the tinder suppose there ablaze? So I got a confession to make. I thought it'd be really cool if one of the hats had a fire on it. Oh, my God, you've caused tremendous damage. But I must say, from a designer standpoint, I adore the concept and rest until we make it so. Oh, yeah, that's what I was thinking. Hello. I just thought I'd show up a little late to the ball. Did you see Kathy and her hat that's on fire? My gosh. It's wonderful. She's burned. She's gone. So, so right. Another another would

be a bowling alley burn on another big fire. Also the offices of the New Yorker burned down in that. Wow. Several former Dalab sponsors. So we will not revel in that. That is. No, no, no, sir. They gave us a tote bag. Several people died about a thousand people were now unemployed because it was a business area. Walt Whitman lost his job, six year old Walt Whitman. Wow. And that fire. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. So in early December in New York, it's very cold. Super cold. It's getting down to like 17 below sometimes. Okay. The Erie Canal freezes. Okay. So all shipping all all the shipping has come through is shut down. Right. It goes on for two weeks. George Templeton Strong wrote that it was quote diabolical weather. Yep. Nice. So it's bad. Someone's behind

it. It's not just cold. There's an accompanying brutal wind that was described as quote penetrating. So we're talking about diabolical weather with a penetrating wind. That's right. Wow. The Hudson, both rivers frozen solid. Hard as a rock, I heard. Penetrating wind in the Hudson was hard as a rock. I don't like where this question's headed. Not a fan of it. Is it is it the West River and the Hudson or is it the Hudson in the East River? I think, look, this is one of those things where someone right now is going to be furious. But I think it's the East River. I think it's the East River. Sure. Let's do East River. God, I hope I'm wrong. I hope you're wrong too. So on December 15th, at 11 p.m., a fire starts

in a four story iron spike and nail store on Water Street. Sure. Regular. Yep. The the weather makes it very hard to fight this fire. Right. The fire firemen do manage to get it under control, but it flares up again about three a.m. Okay. And then then it takes out about six houses nearby some stores. They keep fighting it hours of fighting it and then they finally get it out and they're exhausted. They're totally exhausted. Now the firemen are volunteer firemen at this point. Right. Like what we had in California, like what we use in California for wildfires. Well, those are slaves. We give them a dollar a day. So those are slaves. Volunteer, buddy. Let's stick. Well, I mean volunteers. Let's stick. It's slavery. I consider it.

Let's just because they're prisoners who get a dollar a day doesn't mean they don't want to volunteer to do it. Just because someone's forced to do a job doesn't mean they don't want to do it. And I will I will stand by that until I am eight feet in the ground. And yes, you heard that correctly. I'm demanding an extra two. Are we killing you? I missed what? I mean, it could be a Patreon level. Get the numbers up. OK. So these guys are super tired. Hoses, frozen solid. Froses. Froses. So they they the reservoirs after fighting this fire are drained. A merchant puts ads in the papers for double fire proof iron chests and book safes. So the next morning, I guys already advertising like I can save you from fire.

Double because he's like, these are two. These are twice as thick. The double thickness double iron. You want to save your books? Some base. Can you imagine a time where people are like, don't burn the books? No, me either. The the weather's still bad. The next day, nothing's changed. 10 degrees. 10 degrees is the warmest it got. It snows that night. So now there's a foot or so of snow on the ground on December 16th. Merchant Gabriel Disosway said that the night was quote the coldest one we've had for 36 years. OK. And around 9 p.m. the next day, two cops, two. They're kind of cops. They're watch. They're watch cops watch for fires. OK, so watch cops. So fire fire cops.

Cops. Fire watch. Sure. They're the watchmen. Firemen with clubs. Sure. Club firemen. Beater beat up. Beat fire. They shoot the fire in the back when it's running away from the building. Fire killers. Right. So they think they smell something. One looks up to the top floor of a five story building at 25 Merchant Street, the building, the building house Comstock and Andrews, which is a really well known dry good store. Sure. Perfect. Inside. Inside a gas pipe has ruptured and somehow lit coals that have been left on a stove. So that cop Hayes looks up and sees that and Hayes starts running through the streets yelling

fire, fire, fire. Now, Dave, that doesn't sound like how a professional would potentially handle it. Is that the protocol? Define professional. I mean. Well, it just seems like anyone could do that. So it seems like the one guy like the one guy is there. He's like, we should go to the fire department. And meanwhile Hayes is just running through the streets. Paul revering. Well, that's a good job. I would think it's helpful. It's helpful. But it also seems like there would be some system that would be if you're going to employ people to be in charge of watching for fire. Wouldn't you think there would be some sort of bell to ring or there would be a system or so something like that versus a guy who just sort of panics. Okay. I think that's what it was. Well,

they called they called for the city watch who are the other. It's the force of the cops who look out for fires and deal with fires. So they come. So I think these are just guys that are milling around, right? Okay. That's what he's yelling for all the guys that are out looking for fires. We got one. And now all the guys come and they they get the doors to the store opened. Hayes quote. We found the whole interior of the building in flames from cellar to roof. And I can tell you we shut the door mighty quick. Good. Smart. Yep. Yep. Exactly. I and and as someone who's had his house burned down as a child, this is how you do it. If you don't acknowledge it, it will stop. Fire demands that you stare at it. Fire has a Medusa complex. It only breathes and moves if you see

it. Yeah, it's like a ghost. Very similar to an apparition. Thank you. Yeah. So he also said immediately the flames broke through the roof. So now the watchman shut the roof. We need to shut the roof. Hurry. Nobody look at it. Everybody close your eyes. The watchman on City Hall sees it and starts ringing the bell. Okay, there we go. That's what I'm that's what I've been calling for. At the Bowery Theater, there is a performance of the apostate happening starring James Wilk Booth's father, Julius Brutus Booth. Great. So Booth's now daddy. This is this is what year? So this is is this post 1835. Okay. This is free. Okay. So I was gonna say if he's acting for 30 years. No. Amazing. What's his dad? So his dad's dad's an actor family of actors.

Yeah, family of actors. So it's interrupted by the sound of the bells and people in the theater are going fire, fire, fire. So everyone's starting to pick up the panic a little bit. Okay. Now the tombs prison also hears the bell being rung and they ring the bell, which is about a mile north. And that cost so firemen have been called from all over the city, basically all the volunteer. Right. And remember, they're tired. They just started this last night. Right. Also, there's not a lot of firemen because in 1832, New York had the worst cholera pandemic ever that they've ever had. And 4,000 people died and 10,000 fled the city. So now three years later, the fire department has less than half of what they had in 1832. Okay. So it's a it's a it's a skeleton crew. Let's call

it a skeleton crew. Okay. Why would they just use the prisoners to fight the fires? Oh, they're not. They're not in late stage capitalism yet. Okay. Thank you. Thank you. So for all around Manhattan, fire crews are rushing to Merchant Street and they're led by chief. He's called chief engineer, but he's the fire chief James Gillick. William Macy was in the supply engine company on Franklin Street and he he arrives with his uniform over his business suit. Nice. So he's maybe planning on taking a meeting after this happens. Or yeah, he might have a date afterwards. Right. He's got an appointment after he plans to keep. Or he like had he like heard the alarm and he was out in a carriage and he's like, well,

I got my bag with my fire suit, but I don't want to get naked in front of the ladies or the horse. Yeah. Put it on. Right. Maybe. Yeah. I definitely like to think that he's ideally I won't rush in. I do have an 830. So 12 year olds start running around asking if they can help. So this is very common that that kids will come up and ask to help and that other just random people will come up and ask to help. Right. Like that's how fires worked. Sure. Back then. Right. It's good. Got kids there. That's great. Yeah. They're some tiny little bodies can get into little areas and yeah, help. I definitely see advantages to that. Yeah. Thank you. So so the the the

they break in merchants now have come and they break into comp stock and anus to grab the goods and at least save the goods from being burned up. Yeah. In what is an on fire building. Right. We call that looting quote. Those few of us present had time to remove a considerable quantity of light fancy silk articles. Right. So OK. So it is looting. Get the sticks. No, they're they're trying to save it for the owner. Looting would be if you took it home. They're actually are saving it. They really are. OK. Yeah, they really are. OK. But soon the fires flaming out the doors and the windows on all sides and firemen go to the closest hydrants for water. Sure. But there there is none because they use it all now that as as as a layman. Is that going to be a problem

when the hydrants are empty and your plan is to put out the fire from the high giant building sized blanket. I think. OK. That would be fine. Right. They don't have them. OK. Right. OK. So it's bad. So the water from the hydrant is essential because I just again is just a regular Joe. When I see the firemen, I think they they really do rely on the hydrants. Yeah. From what I've seen, they're really they're kind of overly focused on it. I think it's a little obsessive. It's an important part. You can't park in front of them. They really are very important, it seems. Yeah. OK. So crews go east on Wall Street to the river and the river is frozen. So they start trying to break through the ice on the East River. But the hose that that engine has can't reach

Manhattan from there. So it's kind of a fool's errand. And then they also have to get brandy to pour it on any of the machines to keep the machines from freezing up so water can flow. What a time. No, no, give me a head of that. Yeah, put some on there. Give me another head of that. Some for the marshal, some for the equipment and then in front of the chief and some for the equipment. They they latch them so they bring other engines and they put them all or other hoses and they put them all together, I assume, with another engine. And then it finally reaches the store. The hoses finally reach the store. So they were wildly unprepared for another fire, it seems.

They put a lot of focus on figuring out if there was going to be another fire. And then obviously there were not resources to do anything about it. Yeah, I don't think they they couldn't. Once there was no water, like that's to them, they're the fireman, like that's not our other people have to handle the water thing. Sure. Like, but remember, if you remember. Someone dropped the ball, though. Someone dropped the ball. Well, not not necessarily because it's too cold and there's all kinds of problems with getting water down. Can I pitch an idea? Get the pigs to eat fire. Okay, these are all stuff. We're going to be open. I think we should be open to everything.

We're used to 12 year olds. Let's get some fire eating pigs out there. I feel like you're going back to a previous episode where pigs ate garbage. It's called a callback. And yeah, it's from a little while ago. And I think let's have them eat fire. Let me finish, please. I'm in the middle. I think I'm in the middle of something, please. And let's get, please. Let's get some of the pigs out there to sort of oink around and eat some of that fire. They love garbage. Okay, I've seen pigs on on roasted before and they seem very capable. So just get something down there to much of the fire, you know, dragons. You're thinking of dragons, maybe

also you it seems like you're thinking about food, like when you say capable, like they get eaten, like I'm I'm referencing this is I'm referencing a lot of drawings that I've not released to people since we did the pig episode and I'll release those and then we can kind of circle back them. I'm drawing them a lot. Yeah. Okay. And and yeah, so okay, just I'm just I'm the guy who tosses stuff out there so that I'm the reporter, Dave, you're the you're the official I'm the reporter and my role here is to to ask tough questions. And I just thought maybe, you know, we got a couple pigs out there there munching the fire. We see if that doesn't I mean the Hudson's frozen, Dave, we're looking we're looking for ideas. Okay, so let's just be cool to each other

because it's a tough situation. So let's just get it right. No, it's definitely it's definitely a tough tough situation. Fire eating pigs and yeah, and like you said, maybe they I'm not to keep going, but I will. Maybe they're eating the fire, they're going down the Hudson, they're breathing their fire into the Hudson, thawing that out. Well, hello, now we got a couple things working in our favor, you know, sure. No, they're really good ideas and we'll table them and get back to them. Okay, yeah, let's just another episode maybe or just after like an after show thing. Well, I would love I think we would all love a bit of resolution in this direction as soon as we we can get it. So they get the hoses together and they spray water at the flames. Okay, we're in business.

Unfortunately, the wind is blowing from the opposite direction at 40 miles an hour. They're pissing in the wind. So the wind, so the fire, the water goes out and then blows back at the fireman. But when it hits them, it's frozen. They're just basically they're just we're like, let's add hypothermia to the problem. That's right. Okay. Yeah, they're they're getting freezing cold water all over. Right. Okay. Now it had taken 30 minutes just for the crews to I picture the Marx brothers just so you know. Yeah, yeah, that's fair. And then get set up and everything. So the fire has now spread because we're talking 40 mile an hour winds and it's spread to 50 buildings. Okay, okay. All right. So we're dealing with a problem. I think it's

safe to say this. We got an issue. Yeah, we have an issue. Yeah. The fire is buildings are on fire on Water Street, exchange place, the irony Street, Front Street and South Street. Okay, no one no one has ever seen a fire spread this fast. Like they can't believe what they're watching. Okay. Okay. Now ex mayor Philip Hone, who is himself an owner of a fire insurance business. Sorry, he's a owner. Go ahead. He's a owner. He arrives on the scene because he's a fire insurance guy and he's absolutely horrified by what he sees. Sure. Quote, when I arrived at the spot, the scene exceeded all description. The progress of the flames like flashes of lightning communicated in every direction and a few minutes suffice to level the lofty edifices on every side.

Okay. So he's he he uses too many he tries too hard when he writes can I translate. Yeah, go ahead. Fuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, fuck that fire. No, bad. Yeah, that's better. Okay. Now people are flowing into the area to get a look. Nice. They're mostly just like staring because at all because they can't believe what they're seeing. Right. They're just like paralyzed by the side of the fire, just eating up building after building. Some places they think, well, the fire is not going to go there. So merchants start getting all of their stuff out of buildings while they can to get their goods to those places, the safe houses, the safe places. Right. One safe spot is the South Reformed Dutch Church

on Garden Street, which is built of stone with three foot thick walls. Okay. So everyone's just going to the church to stash this stuff. So now this fall has been super dry. Okay. And the buildings are mostly made of wood. So like bad. It's bad. It's a bad setup. Yeah, they're like ready, tender. They're ready to go. They're ready to just so the fire is just racing through the first war. There's not much anybody can do to stop it or even slow it. And it races straight to the river. The fire races straight to the river. Yeah, it just goes straight to the river. So the fire is like, I'm also going to put the water out. How's that for a reversal? Turn around. I'm coming to the water. Fire, please. That's

our only resource to fight you. So within two hours, there's 75 hook and ladder companies and hundreds of people. And I think most of these hook, I think they're mostly guys are pushing them, but there's also some horse ones probably. But I think it's mostly got ones guys push. I could be wrong. And hundreds of people are people are trying to help like everyone's trying to get out. What does the hook and ladder mean exactly? What are they doing? What are they bringing to the party? Do they have water? It's like an engine that can spray water basically. Okay. Okay. So there's some water, but there's no it's not enough. But there's certainly nothing to hook up to the hydrants aren't working like, you know, I was thinking they had

water. They probably have a little. But remember, they've used all their water on the previous night's fire. So they probably don't have very much. So just between the lines of the timing's bad. Yeah. The timing's super bad. Now people start trying to help and they're carrying buckets and pails and some even have tubs. I got a piss. Here you go, boys. All right, bars. The piss we were barred to take. So the fire hoses are useless at this point. Many have frozen. So if there's water in them, they've frozen. And then there's cisterns and wells, but they're also all frozen. Okay. The fire hydrants are also frozen up. You've been a bit of a downer. It feels like feels like most of the water is frozen. If I had a frozen fire hose, I would just move. There's a

lot of fire. I'd be like, get a little closer to fire. Let's heat that up. Then the fire hose burns up. Well, fire hoses are flammable. Well, that's a, that's a, that's a, I mean, that is a fundamental production flaw. That's not on me. I'm not the, I'm not the guy who made it. I'm the guy. I'm pitching, babe. I'm pitching. I'm the, I'm the pig guy. I'm the, I'm the guy who said from the beginning, let's get some pigs out there and watch them kind of gobble the flames up a bit. Let's see how that goes. We're aware of the pig. Hey, worst case scenario, we're pulling pork after this and having a giggle. Okay. That's fair. Um, if they do, like I said, if they do manage to get water out of the fire hydrants, it turns to ice as soon as they turn the hose on. So, um,

it's just a sleety mixture coming out. Is this free Batman? Cause that would be a great song. It is. Okay. I don't, I forget when we invented him. Okay. So now the firemen are all covered nice. Um, and they start pouring brandy into their boots to try to keep themselves warm. I dare I say throwing alcohol on your hypothermic body during a fire session is not the best solution. Can you get drunk through osmosis at all? I don't, I look, I'll be honest. I have gotten drunk through a brandy foot bath. It's not ideal. Um, that's why I go more the butt chug route. But, uh, it, it seems wild. Like when you're making like banana flambé, you use brandy, like brandy is very definitely flammable. So, yeah. So they're

pouring flammable liquid into their boots. Yeah. Just again, not feels like brandy is the only thing that we're kind of using here out of our Swiss army. That's all they got right now. We got, we got a dream and brandy. So they pull fire engine number 33, which is known as black joke engine number 33. Fine, fine to find to have that. Um, they pull them onto the deck of a ship on the east river. Interesting. They've, they've gotten through the ice, right? And they begin pumping water out of the holes in the ice. Then engine number 33 pushes it to three other engines who then push the water to wall street, right? Through hose. They're the hose connections, right? But in a relatively short time, all four engines freeze and then they're just useless. What the

fuck? It seems bad, right? What do they get a Dave? What are they going to do? I don't know. I mean, I do know, but, uh-oh, Dr. Barkin. Can I make a guess? Uh-huh. Pigs? It's not pigs, but that's a really, really bad guess. I'm not going to lie. I'm not done pitching pigs as a solve here personally. What do you need dad? Dogs are here. Yeah, two of them. So those are all frozen. They're just useless. Sure. By midnight, Broad and Wall Street are on fire. Okay. Um, and that's the heart of New York's financial center and really the country at that point. So we should be celebrating your thing. Yeah. Most of the city's newspaper, newspaper plants, the warehouses, everything's on fire as well as also, it's the financial heart. So

fire insurance companies, headquarters are on fire. Dave, wow. Well, it's a lot of worst case scenario stuff, but I'm sure it's going to, it's a dollop. So it's going to turn around. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's no doubt. Jesus Christ. Larry. Larry had, uh, he went for a four-mile walk today. So he's, he's not going to be awake soon. He woke up. I think he literally just fell asleep behind you how a human goes to bed. Yeah, pretty much. He just crawled up by the couch, put his head on the pillow. Like, that's how I fall asleep after like a barbecue that I drank a bunch of beer at. Some merchants like, uh, the guy I brought up before, Desasue, um, who used to be a fireman,

quote, put on an old warm overcoat and an old hat for active service and jumped back in with their old fire company. So now all over downtown there, people have dragged stuff out of the building the shops and stuff. So there's marble top, mahogany tables, there's sideboards, there's sofas, there's silk, there's satins, there's claws, there's fine muslins, there's boxes of cutlery and crates of French wine and tons, just stuff all over the streets. People trying to get out of the stores. Right. And if you're just like, if you're, you know, uh, minded in the direction of theft, it is a paradise. I like how this guy just puts on the outfit and I, I'm sure he'll have some relevancy at some point, but right now the, the issue is not manpower.

The issue is there's just no usable water. So this guy sort of is having the Rambo montage in his room while his wife's just like, where are you going? And he's like, don't worry, baby, duty calls. And she's like, don't they need water? Yeah, they need water, but don't worry. I've got my hat and my coat back on. I think this thing's about to turn around. Here we go. And maybe there's 12 year olds trying to help too. Yeah. Honey, there's 12. There's 12 year olds out there trying to help. I feel like they need water. You're wrong, babe. They just need one set of good hands. So, uh, so all this stuff is laying around, uh, as the fire comes, merchants take their goods and started taking them over to Hanover Square, thinking they'd be safe

there. It's pretty soon, pretty soon Hanover Square is just packed with stuff. Okay. One merchant called it quote, a pyramid of goods. One or two cartloads. Well, we'll get there. People, people start walking through and just stepping all over fine silks and other expensive materials. And remember it's New York snow. So it's muddy, gross snow. Yeah. Even back then it was probably worse than the snow you get now. It just comes down yellow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And it's terrible. Yeah. So people are just, people are just breaking. They're, they're walking on stuff. They're breaking it like they're climbing the tower and walking over it. There's broken furniture. There's shattered boxes. There's broken, broken bottles laying around. Sure. Now the looters

show up and start helping themselves. My people. Cause once words out, oh, there's a tower of stuff in Hanover Square. And you know, there's a pyramid of goods a little ways down that way down. I've always wanted to have a bunch of bull though. So merchants are trying to get what they can and save it. The commercial advertiser wrote quote, nearly a hundred scoundrels were seized in the very act of stealing valuable articles, even when the alarm and danger were at its highest. Well, I mean, again, like this whole, you know, I mean, we've created this system. So, you know, I mean, I don't, I don't, I don't feel shame saying I would be inclined to go there and take things. If you, I'll never forget someone,

someone like when they were LA, it was recent, like in the past year or two, whatever downtown, like there was someone was on watching the news and someone broke in and grabbed like, it was like a really, really expensive bottle of olive oil. And people were like, why would they need that? And I'm like, cause they want to try expensive olive oil. Like leave me, why would they need it? Like there's something they can never have. And now they can. Yeah. That's literally how it works. I do like that. Where you're like, you're just like shaming the style of theft. Get a flat screen, a recliner, a mini fridge. Come on, build a man cave. But all you're going to do, are you going to make focaccia? Get out of here. And then that person at home taking tater tots or

ride a tater tots out of the air fryer, just be like, blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu-blu. Well, there's some picker in Italy, like watch, like there's only two trees that are growing these olives as you slowly plucking them. Like they still be used on the most delicate pizza. They're going to find his dough made of from a wheat of flour from the finest air of greatest grains. We will, and this person's just like, it's really good on these fish sticks. So some looters start setting buildings on fire. Now that I'm opposed to in this. So they can go in and steal from the building. Okay. Right. This is what we were talking about the other day. Son of one. This is presentism. I would loot and I would not be lighting the buildings on fire. I'd be like,

we've have, let's, let's deal with the hand that was dealt. Unless there's a guy who has a story, he's always been a dick to you. You're like, well, I mean, it's coming this way. A crowd spotted a man trying to set a building on fire at Broad and Stone, Stone Streets, and the furious mob seized him. And as horrified others looked on, they lynched him from a lamp post. Oh, shit. Jesus. All right. That's when I'd be like, yeah. Whoa. As I'm tucking silk sheets into my undies. Yeah. Yeah. These sons of bitches. I heard there was some people taking Bordeaux. Guys, wait, guys, there's ways to do this and ways not to do this. I think he's just misunderstood. The law of the streets, you don't set the building on fire,

you just grab the stuff. That's what Reynolds says. That's the law of the streets. I think we leave Reynolds out of this one, guys. Hey, look at that, man. Luke's just swinging from that lamp post. Isn't it funny when you do this and you actually, like I've done that on this show where I've been like, yeah, get Dave over here. God, Dave's a bad name to use for this. Because Dave's one of the guys on the show. I did just kill Luke. So if you are experiencing symptoms of erectile dysfunction or ED, don't worry, you're not alone. 52% of Canadian men between 40 and 70 suffer from ED. To get more information, sign up at edinfo.ca. That's E for erectile, D for dysfunction, info.ca. Then talk to your doctor because you are not alone

when dealing with ED. Okay, this is add two. Oh man, you're about to have a lot of fun listening to the dollop. Hey, before you do, let me tell you about some dates where I, Gareth Reynolds, will be doing some stand up on the road. Please join me, Garmy. That's the Gareth army. Everyone is using that. It's not up to me. It's just caught fire. Check out the hashtag. I will be in Los Angeles, California, May 5th at the Dynasty typewriter. Phoenix, Arizona, May 18th at stand up live. Then July, it's going to be crazy. Colin on the Garmy, let's do this. I will be Huntsville, Alabama, July 7th, July 8th. I will be in Birmingham, Alabama, July 9th. I will be in Nashville, Tennessee, July 10th. New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 11th. New York Comedy Club on July 12th

in New York City. Then Stamford, Connecticut, July 13th at the New York Comedy Club, just what it's called. Then Pots Town, Pennsylvania, July 14th. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, July 15th, part of the DVE Comedy Fest. July 16th, I'll be in Syracuse, New York. Then Buffalo, New York, July 18th. Albany, New York, July 19th. Then July 20th, 21st, 22nd, I will be at the Vermont Comedy Club in Burlington, Vermont. You can go to garethrenalds.com for ticket information. The shows are going to be a lot funnier than this ad. I'm looking at you, Garmy. We're drafting soldiers. Nah, I'm getting a little too deep in this analogy. But anyway, join me, garethrenalds.com for ticket information. Let's go, Garmy. Now the fire is getting closer and closer to Hanover

Square. The sun, quote, a gust of flame like a streak of lightning came from the northeast corner and shot across the square, blown by the strong wind and set fire to the entire mass, which in a few moments consumed two cinders and then communicated to the houses opposite. Are they saying the fire communicated? Yeah. I mean, they're using words that I'm reaching out. Hello. Hi, fire. Hello. Take my card. So the fire just came through and and Hanover's Hanover's where all the goods are. That's where a lot of people there's different places, but that's where a lot of that's where the pyramid of goods were. Right. So yeah, so that's all on fire now. So may we say the looters did the right thing? That's right. So the goods that were in the original building, they had first

that when they first the very first building that they moved out on the street, then they moved back to Hanover Square. Okay. And then they saw the fire coming to Hanover Square and they moved it to a shop on Beaver Street. And now the owners worried about that place. So he's looking for a new place to put them. So they're moving, just moving stuff around. Yeah. Rich merchant Oliver Hall told the fire volunteers he donate $100 to the fireman's fund, quote, if they would extinguish that blaze. So there's always this guy who doesn't hate this guy. Look at this. I've got a hundred dollar bill for whoever gets rid of this uncontrollable ranging fire. Clearly the problem here is incentive. I mean, could you, yeah, there's always this guy

though, right? I mean, well, there's the other guy, but well, by the way, it's about 3500 today. If it's just going to say, if you're going to throw money at, all right, we've got to incentivize people to put the fire out. You might have to throw out a little bit more cash than $3,500. Some rich asshole being like, all right, everybody, if you want to split $3,500 amongst G, or just put it in the kitty, it's got your name on it. I'll even give you a big novelty check as long as, come on, the river's frozen asshole. Well, here's $3,500 towards unfreezing it. However, you must. Yeah, this is total rich guy. And imagine you're like trying to put out a fire. You're frozen. You've got like your lungs are black. You've got brandy in your shoes.

And this guy's like, can't, can't, can't get a little bit of a carrot at the end of the stick. You know what I gave them was motivation. Yes, yes. A gentleman. Might I suggest putting the fire out? So now the fire is insanely hot. Firemen were warned about melting metal from iron shutters, doors, copper roofs, and gutters. One merchant watched as, quote, the burning liquid ran off in great drops. So it's just melting hot magma just dropping on you. Yeah, it's fucking lava coming through the streets. So you got to worry about that as well as the cold. And remember, it's all blowing, whatever. It's not great. Yeah, but might we say at the end of this, you might have some beautiful glass. That's possible. Beauties. That's what we're getting at.

It's going to be beautiful. Thank you. Firefighter William Macie was holding a hose while standing on a building steps, quote, the heat was so intense that my great coat was burnt through and the leather on the inside of my cap was crisped. Well, first of all, you got a bacon hat. And second of all, I think you're a little too in love with your coat, William. But at the same time, freezing. Right. So you really are. It's it's difficult. It's like it's kind of like food poisoning. You're boiling and freezing. Yeah. The Star reported, quote, firemen took blankets from stores, cut holes in them to make cloaks. And we're compelled to take the fine blankets saved and cutting a hole through them.

So just so that's how it's like. So basically just making Amish sex blankets. They're making the fuck blankets in the middle of all this. Right. They make bank ponchos. Hey, Jimmy, I just had a great idea. You know, why don't we stop making? We got we got time. Like we can't put this out. Why don't we make some fuck blankets for our ladies? No, we'll wear them as ponchos. Weird call. Get them on, guys. Hey, look, my dicks through this. All right. Put them on your heads. Not that one. Hey, Bobby, check this out. I'm loving it. Hey, Bobby. So on top of all this, it's low tide, which makes it even harder to pump water out

of the river. Boy, this is just. And then besides all of the issues with the frozen water, it's really hard for them to pump water because they're freezing. They're getting cold. Their hands aren't working. Gentlemen, $3,700. I'm going to throw in my hat. All right. A Christmas goose and $3,750. Let's get moving. Gentlemen, who would care for a monocle? All right. Free carriage rides, two Sundays in a row, $3,750, monocles galore, and a Christmas goose to split. We're going to lose everything. So here's a penance. All right. We'll save your fucking city. Oh, okay. I don't have the goose or the monocles and the carriage is pretty booked up. Plus, I'll give you a cashier's check. It will

take a while, though. So the men who are trying to pump water out of the river keep having to take breaks and go into the ship's cabin to warm themselves. So for all the companies now, the engines, the pipes, the hoses, the valves are all frozen. An alderman sends men to go get salt to put into the engines to keep them from freezing. Okay, sure. But when they did, the water came out and, quote, rain down like hail. Okay. Dave, is it... It feels like literally every call's been off. Nothing's working. Nothing's working. Nothing's working. And beyond nothing's working, they're also accidentally self-sabotaging with every move. I think the only thing that's made sense so far that hasn't bit them in the ass is brandy in their

shoes. And that move I don't really understand still. Yeah, no, you're right. I think you're right about that. Yeah. A company rushed over to a hydrant at William and South Streets, but the street was full of merchants' goods, which then caught on fire and burned the fireman's hose. So they'd be better off just, I mean, letting all the goods burn. Pretty much. Because now they're just like, let's move some more flammable materials to other areas so that it'll be easier for the fire to cross the street into other areas. You know what I mean? And now the frozen hoses are also a major hazard because it's basically like you laid a big, heavy bar across the street. Yeah, you've just got anacondas everywhere.

And you can't, like they're just, it's like having a metal pole there. There's nothing you can do with it. Right. A port official said they're now, quote, seem to be a general panic among the firemen. Why? I don't know. Maybe they saw that they had cut the holes in the poles. They weak-minded and understand. I think, and this kind of applies to fires that we see today in California and like in Australia. Like there's just a point where they're like, there's literally nothing we can do. This is just an insane fireman. Well, they're basically just like, we're hoping that nature stops doing this. Yeah, we're hoping that, well, we got pigs. What do we got?

Oh, hello. Yes, we do. So Gullick realized the fire chief realized there was nothing his men can do to fight the fire. So he ordered them to instead help merchants get their goods out of buildings. Okay. That's a, that's quite a concession. So to get your goods out of buildings, everyone needs a cart to move their stuff. The cart's made of wood. Perfect. So Cartman, these guys with carts are now suddenly in huge demand. Okay. Wow. Here we go. Some got good deals. Like Alexander Jackson Davis who got his books and papers moved for just $3. Okay. Other Cartman realized the situation gives them a really strong negotiating position. You know, when, really, when you see, and I mean, I feel

like people are just probably sick of this point being made. But when you see the horrors of what a system like you need money to live and be happy does to people, you can't unsee it. No, you can't. It's just, it's everywhere. It's everything. There's fire. People are like, please, my livelihood and people are like, my livelihood. I remember when the pandemic hit and there was a guy buying up toilet paper. Yeah. And hand sanitizer. So it's like, you can't do that. And I was like, why, isn't it just capitalism? And he goes, no, it's not capitalism. I go, but it is, you have, so you have rules within capitalism. You can't do that. But it's literally capitalism. Like the guy's making money. And the guy is essentially doing

what all the large businesses did throughout it and continue to do. And I mean, he was just price gouging on an anecdotal level. Right. That's how they made their money. And that guy, I believe, was unable to actually end up profiting from it. I can't remember what ended up happening, but they found a way to stop him. And yet Jeff Bezos is doing great. Right. So, so it's obvious this is a bad situation. Quote, some, this is a Cartman quote, some crossed their arms as they leaned against their carts and refused to stir a step in this $20 a load were paid them on the spot. Now I assume the going price is probably, you know, a couple bucks. Yeah, one or two dollars

probably if the guy's doing it for three. Yeah. But these guys are enjoying the price gouging. A French merchant couldn't find anyone to help him. All right. So here's a Frenchy and everyone's like, fuck you, Frenchy. Please, someone, I've got room for the pastries and funny hats and cigarettes and bicycles. We got, we got hats and pastries. Yes. Yes. Please, please. These are absolutely important items. You got like a magic frog you can write or something like that. That would make no sense. Why would we have magic frog? It's just a room full of luxury items. Hey, Wong, I told this guy to write a magic frog because he's French. I'm not allowed to respond. Come on. Come on, please, please, please, help me, please,

do whatever, huh? Hurry up, please. Please. Anything. No. You're French, right? Look at me. I've got a scarf. I've got a long petticoat on. I've got high waisted boots. It's just a thing. I've got a flamboyant buckle. I'm smoking in both hands. Clearly, I am not from here. I am French. He finally asked the cartman how much it would take and the guy said $500. Oh, my fucking God. I mean, even now you'd be like, bro, fuck off. And the merchant paid it because he had $100,000 worth of goods to move. There you go. So that's right. Here we are. My boy got it. My boy got it. Oh, thank God. Oh, a clerk for a store went uptown to try to find his boss in lower Manhattan. It's just

total madness. But as he got further up, there's nothing going on. Quote, as he passed along the silent streets, he was surprised at the apparent indifference to people uptown to the burning city. Do they know about they know about the burning city? Obviously, you'll be able to see the smoke. But they also just don't care. Yeah, it's a fire down there, which, again, is our attitude completely today. I mean, where it's just like... It's very similar. Yeah. People said this is the worst fire they've ever seen. And the fire now heads towards the South Reformed Dutch Church, where everyone has put their goods. Oh, my God. The Stone Church. Now, many had moved them because the fire was moving so fast,

but a lot hadn't. So people who had moved them have to move them again. But the church roof catches on fire, right? So it's three foot thick walls of stone, but that's not the roof. The roof catches on fire. You know, the roof. Never thought about the roof. As it catches on fire, a man runs into the building. J-town. And soon, organ music starts coming out of the burning church. Oh, boy. So he ran in to play music, and on the organ... He better have been playing charge. He's playing funeral music. Oh, my God. So he's like the Titanic band? This guy... I'm not sure what this guy... Is this the best guy in the story so far? I think... Yep. This is the best guy. I think he might be. This guy's just like,

I love my art. I love the musician. We got another set of heads to help us move goods. What? By the way, that's the worst funeral song I've ever heard. He's getting buried, Benny Hill. So he played the organ for about 30 minutes. Wow. And people can hear it like it was loud. If this guy dies, I'm going to frame a picture of him. And it's loud. People can hear it all over. And the music only stopped when the ceiling was close to collapsing and the man ran out. Okay. So he did have some sense. And soon after, the steeple collapsed in flames.

A restaurant owner who had, I believe it's called an oyster shop, they kept bringing up oyster. So it must be an oyster house. It must be like... Yeah, I'm sure that makes sense. Oysters must be super cheap. And so I think that's where... And they loved oysters back then. Who doesn't like that? No, like I've said, if you want to eat a horse's eyeball, that's your dish. Yeah, I love that. Love it. So there's giant caskets of white wine vinegar in a shed. And the white wine vinegar is not frozen. So he gets a bunch of men together and using pails of vinegar, they fought the fire, splashing it on the journal's offices. So they're trying to save paper's offices and the oyster house at the same time. Quote, by this one feet with

water pails and dippers, we have no doubt that at least a million dollars was saved from destruction. Wow, that's crazy. And it also makes me feel good about England if there's ever a fire. Most houses will survive without question. Not all business owners move their goods from place to place. So far it feels like the most effective things fighting have been salt and vinegar, which is interesting. Yeah, and brandy. And brandy. Well, brandy is really more just about that morale. And the salt really didn't do anything. But it was like as far as ideas go. Yeah. The worst idea I think is the pigs. I actually like the guy who pitched the pigs. I don't remember his name, but that guy I feel like had was on to something. It was like a

madman came through and just have we have Dave, a guy just ran into a church and played an organ. Okay, I think the pig guy should be listened to a little bit. Look, they're there. They love to eat. We've never seen what they could do. I mean, I think that I what was that guy's name? It doesn't even matter. But that guy to me is kind of the hero of the story a little bit. He music guys. No, I mean, he's great. He's great. But everything needs a soundtrack. Everything needs to I think all other characters in this story stand on the shoulders of pig pitcher. Although, you know what? If the music guy instead of playing a funeral song, is it called the funeral dirge? Is that what they call it? Yeah, sure. Instead, if he had played like happy

music, it would have been fucking amazing. One day Tuesday. Yeah, on the brighter side, boys. Circus music. Yeah. Again, I think I'd love to pitch the entertainer. Yeah. So not all business owners took their goods out to save them. Some stayed inside their shops to keep the fire at bay. Bad strategy. Well, a coppersmith at 83 Water Street held on behind wooden cellar doors, quote, he got water and a hand engine. And whoever fire appeared, he put it out. So some guys managed some guy hold it off. I just feel like Water Street is at a direct advantage. If you're on Water Street, I feel a little more confident. And I love what a hand engine is. I don't know. I don't care. But I love the turn. So merchants are also moving their goods

now to the merchants exchange, which is a huge building. I'm looking to move merch. I want to move some merchandise real quick. It also has the central post office in it. And the post master looked at it, decided the fire is not going to reach the building. I don't like that attitude. I don't like this attitude of it's not going to come here. I don't like I don't love. So merchants stack all their blankets and their silks and other stuff in the large rotunda at the merchant exchange. You're not going to believe this, but the building caught on fire. So where can we talk to the postmaster general who should not have been making those calls? Well, he was busy. Hey stamp doctor. What do you think about the fire? And no way. No way.

No way. No way. So he's busy now because now he's panicking to try to get the mail out of the building. I love that. I love the like commitment to your post. It is a lot of a lot of people are standing by the job they were hired to do. Just like the Oregon guys like, look, if we ever needed a funeral jam, it's my time to shine. Get ready for some shuffling. And then the postman is just like, we got to move these letters. Another rain, not rain, nor snow, nor sleep, nor out of fucking control fire. Well, it's swearing we don't need, but holy fuck. This shit's bad. I know it is not good. Oh, this fire is burning more than my asshole after jalapeno margarita night at taco Tim's. What? Actually, that's going to be great on a shirt.

Thank you. So they only can take small letters in the big packages they leave behind. And he has all the mail moved to city bank, which is actually safe. But oh, no, wait, that was not safe. And then it started burning. And then Jesus Christ. So this guy's like, we got to go here. I swear to God, you really should be going to Jersey. Yes, seriously. Or get on a boat and take it out in the middle of the river or something. Oh, no, you can't. The river's frozen. I would, I would, I would just, yeah, I mean, I would, that's what I would do. I would start moving things onto the frozen Hudson. Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea. Just get some slays or whatever. So people are being injured, obviously.

One man at one point just ran down Broad Street yelling, quote, is there a surgeon among you, gentlemen? For God's sake, is there a surgeon? And then this started a rumor that a bunch of people were trapped in a building, but they weren't. If a bunch of people are trapped in a building, who's who's hearkening for a surgeon? Who's out there screaming for a surgeon? If the surgeon, there must be a bunch of people trapped inside of a building. A beam fell and a bunch of people are trapped. Is anyone here a surgeon? I can handle appendicitis. But it'll do. That'll do. Does anybody have appendicitis in the building? A lot of people are burning in a basement. Is anyone here at OBGYN? We need as many dentists as we can. A woman has been burned.

Yeah, so people, it's just like people are panicking, you know, so they think a roof was caved in or whatever and people are trapped in there. Sure. Now the guy on City Hall who rings the bell has been ringing the bell the whole time and the hammer on the bell finally breaks. Good. Get this guy out of there. Honestly, we don't need bells right now. There's still a fire, guys. Nobody told me what to do after it started. I feel like he's paid by the gong. Hey, so listen, everybody did their jobs, but I believe if I'm going by... But we're not. I kept Italian. I'm owed $17,000.

I was very clear to you. We all told you to leave your post. It was useless. A lot of the firemen were trying to communicate. A lot of the firemen were trying to communicate and couldn't do it over your banging of the bell. I'm not going to listen. Right, but I saw the fire, yeah? So when I see a fire, I start banging. Yeah, but everyone knew about the fire. We told you we didn't need you to continue to bang the bell. It was highly distracting. With you and the Oregon guy, most people couldn't hear anything. That's my cousin, Jerry, but he's an idiot. And then when I saw another building, I ringed the bell. At that time, it was a little bit helpful. This is when it got a little stupid. I see another building. I ring the bell.

I stopped saying you saw another building we understand I kept telling you leave I See a pile of clothing stop tell the stop it. That's on fire. Not you rang the bell. No, look I you I understand but I for the last time we're not gonna pay you 17 grand and I'm not paying for the miss Yes, you see can I show you my contract? What kind? Yeah, you know the contract right? When it buys you when it buys when advised a A building on fire ring the bell ring the bell. Yeah, like a few times. We didn't say stand up there and separate your shoulders So this is my law firm Maybe you can talk to them

Hello We represent this man We're Schmidt ding and dong and we just want what's owed to him. We're the best Bell lawyers in the business So they handle the Chicago fire bell guy. Well, that was one of our better cases We understand it's been a real tragedy, but we just want what our clients owed a Million dollars Look, I'm still here. No, we're not paying that it was 17 grand like 45 seconds ago

It went up because you weren't we weren't getting along you were making up things now I got a whole list of stuff that cost that cost extra money There's a fee for going up and down the stairs Why did you keep going up and down the stairs if there was a fire? I really literally do not want to have this conversation any further this thing is really sore That's your hand. You just call it. Why did you keep going up and down the stairs? That makes no sense Gotta run down. You gotta yell something. You gotta go back up No, no, no, no. Yeah. Nope. All right. Good. Bye

One minute See you in Jersey. No, you will not So now there was a really loud explosion and the ground shook good and everyone scrambles for safety not knowing what is coming Quote a steak marshmallow man. What happened? Quote a second explosion took place and then another and another Bags of salt Peter in a warehouse started exploding when they caught on fire But don't know why so we're adding so we're adding bombs to the problem and Me the the explosions continued for 30 minutes. So bombs are now going off. Yeah

Well, hopefully it'll shake some water loose and each explosion released a really thick dark cloud of smoke So now there's just thick smoke everywhere. Is it possible that that that God just wants them all to die? Is that possible? Yeah, it feels likely at this point and then liquor casks and barrels of gum powder start exploding so just On the docks sperm and other oils were catching on fire sperm Sperm whale oil, but I think sperm sperm is better. They called it sperm or you called it. They called it sperm They called it sperm because it's a sperm whale. So now sperm is just also catching on fire sperm oil

That's what I call lube So, okay, so so now we've got sperm fires Flaming embers are now raining down onto Brooklyn in In Flatbush burning pieces of silk wool paper and wood are falling on the streets Then the river catches on fire what is happening barrels of turpentine have spilled Where from what they're caught. They were on the docks to be loaded somewhere Oh my god. Well, did I say this is maybe the best thing that's happened so far? and

Quote spread out over the surface of the river for several hundred yards and Sending up a bright flame and giving the appearance of the river being on fire so I like like if you're like if you're just like a person you're like, oh, this is the end of time If you're a preacher you are just going told you told you told you told you told you told you told you told you told you I told you told you told you told you what did I say? What did I say, but you kept using tobacco and fucking without marriages People in New Jersey and New Haven, Connecticut can see the skies above New York glowing

And Jersey Jersey was like, well, I think we might actually be in a better state Here we go boys. Get ready everybody In Philadelphia firemen rushed out of firehouses because they thought a fire was nearby I thought you were going to say like they were going to go help The son of alexander hamilton james hamilton said quote Alexander hamilton and dav a hero. Thank you The firemen were exhausted and demoralized I wonder what was up. I wonder what was up with them

Well, they just can't handle a tough situation. Yeah, just come on. If you commit it to a job 39 71 all the monocles. I'll give everyone free oysters And I'm jerking you off Oh The postmaster said some were now quote incapable of acting Some from drinking liquor which they were obliged to take to keep themselves from freezing So some of the firemen are now shit-faced. I love it What if we let the fire put us out? I never think about that

One company was so drunk that they put flowers Taken from the wreckage of some shop on their caps Okay, so what we got it. Okay. Hold on. Everybody's freaking out right now But what we need to do Hey, Bobby. Hey, Bobby. Hold on. I'm a daisy. I'm a daisy. Sh Look call me rose. I'm a daisy. Hi I'm a beautiful flower. God damn it. You are so beautiful and the way everything's lit up behind you like you're an angel We are all angels and let me let's get a little more brandy going because I think we got to make sure that we keep this

high moving as as clean as possible But I'm talking about Moving it away from the direction of an individual flower and let's consider ourselves living arrangements Oh What's the matter? I told you you're beautiful, right? Yeah, and you're beautiful too, Tom We're both the beautiful babies Okay

now I'm actually feeling that a lot of the my boots are What I would call brandy lit And okay. Yeah, can I just ask a quick question? Of course buddy. What's going on? Can I uh drink Your shoe? Why don't you do this? I'm combusting at an alarming rate When I'm done eat the body because I have been marinating in pure alcohol for like

Three hours Hey, yeah, and my torso is now just raging So check it out. Okay. It's gonna be hard because my eyes feel like they're melting a bit New it's like a new thing that's happening, but I'm I'm also on fire. Okay. Well, here's the deal We will leave the fine earth as charred man flowers My brain's gone. So the harder part out of and out of you are you very very hard here? In the morning it was obvious there so morning by I mean like 3 a.m. 4 a.m. Whatever it's obvious. There's no way to stop the fire Mayor Cornelius Lawrence and others start talking about blowing up buildings to stop the fire's advance

I mean, I don't know anything but no Right no The mayor asked the ex chief engineer and current water surveyor if he had ever blown up a building and he said no But he could do it if he had to Uh, it's because he has a can do attitude gareth none of this. I can't do it. It's a pass You gotta you gotta like the boss looks at you goes Can you do this and you're part of a team and you say yeah, man? I can do this I think I really do think fighting fire with fire in this circumstance is a bad call

You know, we're gonna do we're gonna light the fire on fire bingo James Hamilton and another man surveyed to figure out which buildings to blow okay And uh, so other people go looking for explosives. They are gonna blow up buildings So They decide that the best place to blow up is exchange place buildings on exchange place So james and this other guy start emptying cartridges And canisters of gunpowder into a casket

What what is tim Burton in charge? What is the theory here, I truly don't know is that the theory here is to beat the fire to the punch Well to stop it like give don't give it anything to burn Right sure But you're burning what it would burn You shoot the hostage now it's gone you shoot the house. Yeah, you shoot the hostage Okay, you're on board with this Yeah, because you it's like no different than they do with wildfires you bulldoze an area and create a space that the fire can't hop

Right, but then the fire burns itself out. Okay. I guess I get it. It seems uh It seems uh like now the guy the guy who lives in that building. He's probably bummed Uh, sorry, what's the idea here? We're gonna blow up your house to stop the fire But the house is they're gonna go Oh, it's gonna go anyway. So we're gonna get there first. Okay this way. It's on our terms. You know what I mean? Like we did it. Uh, what my colleague is trying to say is uh, we will not take shit from the fire. We are going to uh beat it Yeah, you I say baby

Um, we're gonna intimidate the fire a little bit. You know, yeah, yeah, we can't fight it with water. So we're gonna blow it up. Thank you So, uh, they're they're putting gunpowder in a casket Another guy goes to the navy yard in brooklyn and uh learns there's 400 pound bags of gunpowder on governor's island Uh-huh So they get a bunch of gunpowder. Uh, they bring it to the army corps of engineers And then they take I think they put it in a little a little smaller boxes and then they take it to exchange place now The general in charge of the army corps Of engineers, uh, oh right that so he he took two boxes

With all the loose powder to wall and nasao streets Uh, so it's a blocked north of exchange place, but they they don't have Enough explosives to set off the gunpowder Which is what they need so moving it through the city is difficult because it's on fire Right just yeah, okay Quote there was a cart with a barrel of powder on it a board was laid on top of the barrel Mm-hmm. There were sparks flying in every direction like a snowstorm sure, okay, so right, so you're trying to just

Frogger some gunpowder Across a city that is fully on fire Yeah, and it seems like it's fairly open. You've just got a board on top of it Well, you put a board and even then the barrel is made of wood. I mean you're fighting a number of different issues here. I'd say As they move along broad street one man sees gunpowder leaking out of the bottom of the container Is that bad and there's and there's a guy passing by with a blanket and he orders the guy to stop and the man's like I didn't steal the blanket. I didn't steal the blanket. It's mine. It's not yours. Obviously sir. It's very clearly not your blanket And they said they didn't care and they took the blanket and they used it to cover the barrel and stop the leak

I also took some forks So they take it to 48 exchange place, which is the the building that has been chosen to be blown up Congratulations 48 place So hamilton prepares a fuse And other guys spread the gunpowder on the floor And hamilton tells the general that he wants to be the one to light it and so he does Quote there was a tremendous explosion and the whole building seemed to rise up and quiver

It threw down the front of the building a part of the adjoining one Throughout the roof, but did not destroy all the floors The fire carried up The fire carried up by the floors endangered the next building And thus rendered it necessary to blow up that building also So because they didn't necessarily blow up the first building great, they got to blow the second one up too So 40 so 50 50 whatever place is like how'd it go? Good, but not great. It's your time Yeah, so 52 is gonna go down. Okay

So uh It's now uh 5 a.m. And they blow up the next imagine the guy who's just like having a deep sleep like at 64 Oh, what the hell was that? Oh, shit is did new york go? So They blow up the next building quote I saw that the wall was completely cracked the rear was on fire and the fire was approaching more rapidly than in front So the that fire So the fire is coming. It's getting closer and closer

The wall just cracked him back. So it's not enough So now they have to blow up a third building I can I cite my earlier point where I questioned this strategy a lot It is baby, it's pig time. Let's roll Marines are bringing the gunpowder ashore from Roosevelt Island, but the cold is a problem Quote the men's fingers became so numb that could hardly carry it I We've done a lot of these

I and I'm sure they're like when I think about like people traveling through like arctic conditions Nothing goes right, but this is like a metropolitan area and Nothing nothing Nothing Gone well nothing literally nothing No, absolutely nothing has gone well every every moment's bad Except for the guy who played the organ the organ guy's doing okay

But even then he had to flee but he is our bright spot The organ guy is now sitting at home going honey I finally got to play that fucking organ I told you I'd get a chance and I waited for my time I said 600 people have died so it's just sort of I played that goddamn organ for 30 fucking minutes Most stores are done. I mean, I think new york is unrecoverable It was incredible. Could you maybe just like

Help to maybe move some stuff instead of played the music. It just feels like we really we honey We really got to get an organ. I told for the we're not getting a we're not getting a home organ That's just my hand to god Something happened tonight I am praying I am praying that you're not making this fire about you and the organ I mean, please tell me that's not happening right now Please tell me that's not happening right now The roof was on fire, but see that's

Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben Ben I said J-10 I swear to god Ben Ben Ben This this is why this is why I'm doing three nights a week at my sisters Which unfortunately I can't do anymore. They just blew our house up It wasn't a great house So They're gonna blow the third one. Oh, right. Sorry. I think we lost track for a second. Great. Yeah, where we are is um They're blowing up. They're slowly and the

Because fire is bad the marines fingers are falling off and fire is bad. So they're just gonna blow things up, right? The cold is hard to move the barrels So they they put the barrel on a hand card, but now they're worried about two things when they move The barrel of gum powder quote For the ground was frozen and covered with ice and it was raining fire Well, it's a bit backwards Those are all bad things because the the the cart can tip over

The gum powder goes everywhere and then the fire rain Let me just I'll just I'll bottom line it faster for you. Raining fire is just gonna be a big problem By the way, is this your favorite Schwarzenegger movie? Yeah, it's raining fire. They got the gunpowder on the floor everywhere. These marines fingers What are we gonna do? Get out Hold on. I got to play one more song and then we can leave Arnold Schwarzenegger is or

Gunner No, wait, that's not great Uh, it's not good. Uh, Arnold Schwarzenegger is Oregon man I mean the shit music behind I'm gonna have to improvise So the soldiers take off their jackets and cover the kegs so they won't be blown up by the raining fire But now they don't have jackets on okay, whatever So they get it to the building

Um, it takes a couple minutes to set it up. Uh-huh and then they blow it up. Okay And this one slows the fire because they blow they blow up the building well Well, it was a matter of time. I mean, you know, you blow up 35 buildings. One's gonna hit So the mayor and his advisors all these guys then look to see if any more buildings need to be blown up Fun combo And they decide to blow up a 12 foot wide crockery store at I don't know how to say this Uh Conties alley and slip which I've never heard of Hamilton

Also prepares the charge And a soldier goes down with him in the cellar and lights a candle Because he's trying to knock the lid off the gunpowder Tell me that this is not it this this sounds this Dave don't please please he needs to see Obviously, uh-huh, and so he's trying to knock the lid off the gunpowder So curly so curly's down there So Hamilton grabs his arm

And is like, what are you doing? He's like so we can see if there's gunpowder And takes the candle out of the guy's hand And then pushes the guy aggressively out of the cell. What god Hamilton's a dick So Hamilton runs a fuse from the barrel out to the sidewalk. Okay Now a crowd is formed to watch sure I support it

quote After setting fire to the massive combustibles. I walked deliberately toward the spectators As they cried out run run. Why don't you run? I love a crowd Oh, it's so good And anytime in a play you've got like random audience shouting. It's pretty good run run. Why don't you run? And he's just strolling. I can't run. It looks better this way. This is the slow mo So

It explodes and it takes out the whole building leaving a vacant space And that stops the fire from taking the entire block. Wow Quote the whole block from that to broad and probably lower down toward the battery was saved So It's now early morning on December 17th, and they've stopped the fire Firemen who go home notice their clothes are stiff from the cold when they take them off. Oh my god Downtown is smoldering Hundreds of irish from five points pull pull pour out of the slums

Careful, we were highly flammable as well And start looting nice For 24 hours, they took what they could get booze, beer, wine kegs are smashed open People openly drunk out in the streets. If they just start potato lifting then I really feel like we're allowed to stereotype them Fights are breaking out over who is going to steal what? I like that 10 000 bottles of the finest champagne was taken and many bottles drunk on site I support this Philip home quote the miserable wretches who prowled around the ruins and became beastly drunk on the champagne and other wines and liquors

With which the streets and roads were lined seemed to exalt in the misfortune of others Well, okay, I'll let me say this potentially But I also feel like if you're selling champagne you're probably In a you know fairly good spot and to complain about what the Lowest class does when you leave champagne on the they just want a moment Yeah, I'd do it Absolutely, I mean Dave like you're saying it's it's the same reason we support January 6th. Keep going

Keep going The star paper reported that a lot of the champagne had been drunk while the fires were burning So the mayor declares the mayor declares martial law and and the marines are sent in But the looting did not immediately stop people started heading out to other areas outside the burn zone And setting fires to buildings so they could Jesus Christ look like I said, there's a line and uh The fire's out. Let's we should be thankful. Let's let's loot What's in front of us and not re-burn for a bigger loot?

So five arsonists are arrested Um, the guy who had been caught looting during the fire and hung They they let his body hang there for three days. Nice. That's cool 17 blocks Christmas decoration. Yeah 70 blocks lower Manhattan 52 acres and 693 buildings had been burned to the ground. Holy fuck back then too. I mean, yeah Yeah, there's only I think there's only like 250,000 people in the city at this point. That's crazy. I may be way over stating that but uh

Only two people were killed Wow, and one of them the guy who got hanged. Yeah Wow That's wild today. It was two million in damages today. There'll be about a billion dollars in damages. Uh 10 million insurance money was a bit little that was paid because the offices and banks were burned Hundreds of businesses never opened again And they started calling the area the burnt district Cool

There's already a lot of tension between firemen in the city and And Alderman accused them of being unorganized and unprofessional But they're not professional They're volunteers Fire chief Gellick was fired A law was passed making it illegal for non fire department personnel To help with fires. So all those 12 year olds that came and other guys They're saying that that was a problem and they can't have those that wasn't the problem

No, the problem was the problem was the Planet I mean essentially the resources and the fact that you were not prepared for the lack of resources Yeah, the environment also like, you know All of the weather and everything else and the dry the dried wood like it was all and the fact that nobody pulled the The pig trigger or the pig are like nobody nobody nobody did that nobody like Thought out of the box enough to just sort of like, you know move the pigs closer to the area and see what they would do Just based on their natural instinct. That's right. You're crazy

So the the city now hired Men to be maintenance crews And keep track of equipment at fires and all the equipment And the firemen didn't like this because they saw it as an attempt to end volunteer firefighting and create a paid department It felt like they were being fired Which is exactly what was happening. That's exactly what it was. Okay um The public could not get enough of reporting on the fire

polluting the heroes and the stories and newspapers Artists are making paintings of what the fire looked like Illustrated papers are becoming popular and this really helps them The marketing is super aggressive for all of these, you know papers and paintings everything to sell Uh So it's it's like disaster porn. Yeah, right

Politicians use the attention to get a crazy amount of financial relief for the city Some businesses started Rebuilding the next day and then they took this time to widen the streets Because up uptown is a little more grid-ish and this was like a jumble and so they they do what they can to Create more of an organized Right a thing and fix the streets By 1836 it's rebuilt the buildings are made of stone and concrete. Some of them are still there today

A lot of people move uptown where there's more space The rich construction speeds up on northern Manhattan More workers came now like immigrants pouring because there's work to build right And then the area becomes lower Manhattan becomes packed and congested The rich build high-end theaters and restaurants And the working class have their music halls and taverns There's a big aqueduct built for water I mean, essentially the fire changes the city in the course of right how the city is going to go because it's a big disaster

right um kind of like Almost like 9-11 the way we think of it today. It's like almost kind of how people thought of In that way of like that right that level of tragedy, right? Yeah Crazy, right You're totally crazy. And by the way, if you want to join us on patreon, you can do that. We have a patreon dollop okay sources, uh the great new york city manhattan fire time

new york historical society the great new york fire of 1835 and the marketing of disaster The book manhattan phoenix by daniel levy CUNY has one called city response fire And uh and then a bunch of newspapers the evening post the sun blah blah blah. Yeah, so um Cities that could potentially burn on our tour all of them That's cool Yeah, so go to dollop podcast.com if you want to take an information to our tour and we're just trying to make um

enough money to live in the dystopian capitalist prison that we've all been put in and uh Uh try to just sort of uh, you know pat our nests while uh, we uh buckle up for uh for the inevitable punishment that is uh, totally deserved And uh, I'm trying to think uh, yeah, yeah, and like dave said i have stand updates you can you know there's a gareth reynolds.com and um My cat has an instagram Dave you post a lot on your instagram about your dogs your dog Uh passed away during this episode

Um, so um, so yeah, so so yeah, so cool. Uh, I did it and uh awesome and we want to thank snapple. Thanks, dave You You You You You