The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 586 - President Franklin Pierce

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine mid 1800's president Franklin Pierce.  Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace Mindbloom    

You are listening to the dollop on the All Things comedy network this is an American history podcast for each week. I gave Anthony Rita story from American history to a drifter. Yeah, all right. Garrett Reynolds was no idea what the topic is going to be. You know, I don't know anything. It's just, we don't need to keep doing this. What do you mean? It's just, it's enough already. No, it's what we do, it's like I'm sorry.

I know, but it's just like, you know, just, you'll figure it out, they'll figure it out. They know. What do you mean? They wouldn't do it. They wouldn't do it. They'll figure it out, we don't need to bother mean they wouldn't be? They'll figure it out. They'll figure it out. We don't need to bother with this. Why not just set it up for them?

Well, it's just we've, it's done. It's been overdone. It's just we've done it. We've done it. You know, if you don't, if you know, you know, if you don't know, you don't know. If it's fine. I don't know what's going on.

We've done it for every other word. It's just we don't need to, we don't need to bother anymore. We're good. We get it. You did the work. I showed up. That will be accents. Come on. There's enough already.

Just like, kind of accents. Whatever you want. Bangladesh. Not that one. No Chinese. Stop it. Stop Chinese. Stop it. Stop it. Isn't it crazy?

I'm Mexican. Mexican. Just no. Come on. Let's go. A little more European style. You did. Bangladesh.

Japanese. Stop. Don't pitch anything. No more pitching. Bangladesh Japanese stop About Cuban yeah, I feel like I can no And called it quote his jam pat Jim And I'm the fucking about guy Dave okay My name's Gary. What is it?

Wait is it part five? And this is not going to come to Tiggly Quad, guys. Okay. This is like, add a five-part coefficient. My room's flat! Now hit him with the puppy. You both present sick arguments. No, sleep down hippo.

That's like hell, hip-hop. Actually, part five. I can't eat. No. I see, dad, my friend. No. No, no, no. No, no, no.

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, I see, and a few garages. And that'll start on July 27th in San Jose. And then we'll be the next night in San Francisco. And then on the 30th, we'll be in Sacramento. And then we head to Boise, which is in Idaho. Salt Lake City on the 3rd, Boulder on the 5th, 10th, around the 6th, Las Vegas on the 9th, Phoenix on the 10th, San Diego on the 12th. And I know one of those is wrong.

So whichever one you're right, I didn't say it right. And then that'll be, that'll be a place, something you can buy tickets for at thedollapodcast.com. I also will be at the Comedy Store on June 13th, I believe. I'll post on my social media about that, but that's in Los Angeles. And then if you want more tour information, go to garrathornals.com, July. I'll be everywhere up and down the east coast. Gareth, the dollop is brought to you in part by a little something called square space. Ha! Yeah, I said it.

What is square space? Square space is an all in one. Domains, websites, online stores, marketing tools, analytics situation. They got it all, they got the whole BalaWax. They have dogs also. So if you're looking for a website, that's what we use, Gareth and I.

Gareth, as he just said, his own website, that's a Squarespace website. My website is Squarespace, and then the Dolps sources is a Squarespace, and then of course, the Dolapodcast.com, and you can get all your ticket links is also Squarespace. So, we're all in. Squarespace.

Yeah, none of those is with another company. I don't even think there is another company. Not if I have anything to do with it. And listen, if you don't, if you're making a website and you don't use Squarespace, Gareth and I are gonna find you. I'm not sure. I know.

We're gonna find you. I feel like they're not gonna enjoy your name. Hey, and it's gonna get weird. Dave, what a weird threat that is. That's a strange threat. What does that even mean? So they have marketing tools and email marketing and SEO tools. Google search console, social media integration, banners and promotions that got it all.

So you're going to want to get who you're talking to. Squarespace. They're furious. Yeah, no, I know. I'm telling you. Oh, did you tell my threat and everybody? I had to apologize. But just keep going with the ad. I'm in you. Oh, did you tell my threat and everybody? I had to apologize. Just keep going with the ad.

I'm in the middle of something. Tell them all come after them if they don't agree with this. They are not going to have to be. Go to squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial. When you're ready to launch, you use the offer code dollop to save 10% on your first purchase of a website or domain.

Do not disagree with me, Squarespace. We are. Stop talking to him. I'd love to do a side ad. Absolutely. Call me after this. We, and why I say me, I mean me, Dave Anthony, and my partner, the trader, also do something for a little company called Mind Bloom. You heard that right. Look, there is no quick fix for anxiety, depression. It's just you can't pick a new therapist and feel better all of a sudden or start like exercising. And it's work. You got to put work into it. And sometimes, sometimes, something comes along and you can kind of unlock your brain a little bit. Start a new way of thinking about seeing the world.

Maybe that thing is a guided ketamine therapy situation from mind below. Yes. Right? Yes. I was talking to someone I know who has just started doing this. You can now do this anywhere and she finds it so helpful and it's been a therapy a ton and something like this, just this kind of like, it uncoorks

a different part of yourself. Right, so there's a new tool to improve your mental health at home, ketamine therapy. Mind bloom is the leader in at home, ketamine therapy having safely helped thousands of people overcome their anxiety and depression. Unlike traditional talk therapy, ketamine works having safely helped thousands of people overcome their anxiety and depression. Unlike traditional talk therapy, ketamine works quickly and doesn't have the unpleasant side effects of traditional antidepressants. In a study of over 1200 mind-boom clients, 89% reported improvements in their anxiety and depression after only two sessions.

Pretty good. Right now, mind-boom is offering our listeners $100 off your first six session program when you sign up at mindbloom.com slash dollop and use promo code dollop. Take the first step and break free from your anxiety and depression with mindbloom. Mindbloom.com slash dollop, use promo code dollop. Boom.

Way to go. We should also mention Dave, if you uh... want to get bonus content if you like us if you want to have an ad free experience you can simply go to our patreon and uh... we do stuff every week like uh... last week i failed a quiz exciting what did you

what he did i november twenty-third eighteen oh four Boy did you boy howdy did I November 23rd 18 oh 4 Year of our Lord oh God J. Town Guess who got a motorcycle? What are you talking about J town? Yeah? Kids love what year is this?

What are you talking about? What year is it? He's back. What? What are you talking about? J. Town is here. He's with us. He's riding bikes. It's all very... He is? Is he riding bikes or a motorcycle?

That's what some of us call a motorcycle. I'm in the Mongols. What is happening? Franklin Pierce was born to Benjamin and Anna Kendrick Pierce in Hillsboro, New Hampshire. And a Kendrick. Not the same one. He was the sixth of eight kids. Dad was very stern. Dad was a revolutionary war hero.

Okay. And he was the most influential guy in Hillsboro. Okay. He's Jeffersonian Republican. So he hates federalists, the Hamilton types. Oh. He thought they were elitist snobs. Okay. And Gareth, that's only because they were elitist snobs. And Gareth, that's only because they were

elitist snobs. But weren't they they were the singers though. They were rap singing and they were bebopping and they were doing the whole thing. So that to me. The Federalist? Yeah. You're thinking of Hamilton. You're thinking of the play. Exactly. Yeah. Yep. Don't. Nope. That's not what we're talking that's not what's talking about we're not talking about we're talking about the person hamilton not the uh... not the musical the cow had a heifer's son like Thomas Jeffers son yeah we're not doing that nobody's happy right now

yeah i get it uh... so he thought he thought they were uh... snobs even more when they took over the state legislature in the ham share and fired him uh... from the office of sheriff. Okay. So, frankly, not exactly a studious kid. He'd like to be an outdoors. Okay.

But his father really wanted him to get educated. So he sent them to different schools to learn Latin and Greek amongst other things. Sure. So, hating the snobs like his dad. Yeah. So, Benjamin is sent, sorry, Franklin is sent by Benjamin to a college in Maine called Bowden College. Sure.

He was 16 at that point, which is when you start college. That started at 16. I started around then. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Some kids just graduated from Stanford and he's 12 and people are letting them to me. Nobody's beating them up. We can't, but that's stupid to me. Yeah, it's not fun. I don't know what you get out of that. It just feels like that's a bad call for like, you know, I mean, I'd give him a few, give 15. Let's 15, 12. I don't, I didn't mean to start a whole thing. No, it just seems, it's just, it's just starting to piss me off.

I know, it's clear. It's just, you know. No, I don't, No, I don't know. I don't know. Why is an asshole? Take it up with J-Town. So he sends him, like he said, he sends him to this college of Maine. He's not a good student, like I said.

He would often skip classes and go hiking. So why is he going at 16 if he sucks? Well, everybody went to college. That's just the standard age. Yeah, okay. So Franken was known to burst into friends rooms, other students to have a wrestling match. That's cool. Yeah, I've done that. I mean, that's just hygiene. Yeah. Yeah. It's just standard stuff. Breaking in. Some people are afraid by that move, but I think that's that's not me. Yeah, it's totally normal. I don't know why that doesn't just jump in It's just I'm with the woman They also would sneak out of the dorms at night to drink it uh... brunswick tavern franklin franklin a bit of a lightweight

apparently according to author michael holt quote he often became right to sleep gitty much sooner than his drinking partners yeah okay seen those never great which is what getting getting uh... gitty i got a something going on in my house yeah what speaking away to sounds like it's not great. Yeah, well just, just, I mean, I remember even high school, I mean, we used to bring

the hammer down and we had one buddy who was two beers, he would be like on another planet and you'd be like, eh, this is annoying. Yeah, yeah, that guy's just, they were on it, they were just on a short and timeline. Yeah. And we would play a lot of pranks on him. On my album, I actually have the joke about this guy, which is where we drew straws to see who would throw them in the pool and an above ground pool, so it didn't work. Then we drew straws again to see who is going

to put peanut butter on his testicles to get the dogs to lick it off. And then the dogs came in and they shut up. The dogs came in and they had no interest in doing it. So we took a peanut butter sandwich. We took two bites out of it to set it aside and make it look like he'd had a peanut butter sandwich accident. And then the next day he told us he was allergic to peanut butter. It felt like none of that should have been said. You know what I mean?

Like not to- It's organic. It's like me. OK. So at the end of his sophomore year, Frank is the worst student in his class. Nice. He's very liked though. Everyone likes him. But he got really embarrassed by that and decided he's going to turn it around. So no more hikes, no more going to the tavern. No more wrestling. No more jumping in rooms and starting wrestling matches.

No, no wrestling bros late night. I start getting about 4 a.m. every day to study. His class, by the time he graduated, his class was only 14 guys though. OK. But he finished 5th. 914. Not 14.

Sure. Great. He moved back to his parents' house in Hillsboro and began working under a local lawyer and he gets admitted to the bar in September 1827. Okay. 23 years old. Pretty good. So now he's a lot more practice there.

What? He's a liar. He opens a practice in Hillsboro. The same year his dad is elected governor. Okay. He opens a practice in Hillsboro. The same year his dad is elected governor. Okay. It was easy because he didn't run against anybody. It was just him running.

That didn't happen anymore. No. Frank was also involved in local politics at this point. He gets elected to lead a Republican meeting. And then when he's just 24, Frank's elected to the state house of representatives. Which I can imagine in New Hampshire at that point is like three guys. It can't be a lot. It's 1820s.

Is there anybody there? Is there anybody there now? I started to tell. I don't think there's no way to find out. That's the problem. No, no. And then after two years, he becomes speaker of the house. He's like I said, super well, like very charming. Has a very deep voice, which helps him quite a bit because audiences can hear him when he speaks at rallies. Yeah, he's got a very white of New Hampshire's. He's New Hampshire's very white. That's right.

This bill's got everything we need. Oh, now we're gonna hold the vote. Sorry, is it hot in here? That's it. Yeah, ready to hold the vote. Oh my God, I am tingling. Who wants a wrestle? What?

He has, like I said, he has deep voice. He's also very good looking. Okay. So, David, can we just say it? He's a fuck machine. He's a fuck machine. He's very empathetic also. Oh, I'll get it.

Now, I understand why that must have been very difficult for me. Yeah, girl. We're going to pass the bill that's going to help you. We're going to pass the bill. So he's a jackson in Republican, like I said, they're against Jacksonian or Jefferson. Jack Jacksonian. Okay, Andrew Jackson. Sure.

So they're against it's a populist. They're against any government subsidization or economic development or paper money banking. They're against stuff that you should have right. In 1832 when he is 27, he is elected to Congress. Jesus. He's moving. So he's rolling. Yeah. Yeah, that's just rolling. A local paper quote, Frank Pierce is the most popular man

of his age that I know in New Hampshire. Praises in everyone's mouth. Pardon? Praises in everyone's mouth. Because that makes it sound like he's praising, but you just mean that people have compliments on the tip of their tongues. Yeah.

He's not just like real good dress. I mean, I love the way he's talking. I didn't. You have a great air about you. Yeah. Pfft. Every circumstance connected with him seems to contribute to his popularity.

So they're just like this guy's. Can't do any wrong. Thank you everybody. Yeah, everybody loves it. Once in Congress, he votes against every domestic and proven bill that comes up. So he just doesn't want, he doesn't think the government should be helping. I love that. Those are all we have so many of those in government.

We're like, my job is to make sure we do a very little. helping. I love those are all with we have so many of those in government. We're like my jobs to make sure we do very little. Don't don't take the taxes and spend on stuff we want. Yeah. Do it. I spent another stuff. So he's a he's a partier in in DC. His drinks were hot rum punch and Madera. What's Madera? That's some kind of wine.

Yeah, like a wine, like maybe a port sort of wine, anything. So he becomes friends with a lot of Southern Dems who also liked a party, not because of the politics, but literally because, you know, the party guys. And Frank, Frank and Joy is drinking with the boys. So one night he spent with his friend Clement March and they go to the theater and a few taverns and March would later say, quote, the greatest frolic of my life.

Wow. Can you imagine knowing the greatest frolic of your life? I think about it. I still haven't had the greatest frolic of my life. Wow. Can you imagine knowing the greatest frolic of your life? I think about. I still haven't had the greatest frolic. The greatest frolic of my life. Probably my greatest frolic. So he's a fun guy to hang with. Sure.

His after his first term in November 1834, he goes and marries Jane Means Appleton. Okay. They first met in 1827. Her family, very wealthy federalists, her mom really didn't want her to marry this Hick from the woods. It's a jackson. He a new hamster. Yeah, and he's just a, he's a populist. He's a, you know, there are just woods mini crap. Sure. That's what she thinks. OK.

I think that's the, yeah, I think that's a quote. Woods mini crap. Now, when she's sort of dissuading her daughter from getting with him, is it sort of a song? Is it like in a bedroom? And is the daughter sort of combing her hair in a mirror and the mother approaches and just sort of a song? Is it like in a bedroom and is the daughter sort of coming or her in a mirror and the mother approaches and just sort of grabs her shoulder and is like, there's something I must talk to you about.

And the daughter's like, I don't want to hear it. You're just the shout. Like is it that sort of thing? And then he's off somewhere else and he's just going, I've got to figure it out. I've got to get with her. I'll do whatever I can to you could cure, like it's that sort of thing. No, no thanks, sir.

Okay, all right, interesting. Just some of us are thinking that it might be that, so where you got to ask. Sure, I think they're wrong. Right. Or horribly wrong. Right, okay. I should never do that again. Why are you doing what I asked you to not do?

I do what I want. I'm not you. That's sort of deal. No, it's not you. That's what I deal. No, that's not. All right. Sorry, I'm getting hot. Really?

Interesting. So she ends up marrying him against her mother's wishes. My only daughter's left the pasture. This marriage, what a disaster. Now your daughter has become my wife. We will, yeah, okay. All right. So Jane is said to be the exact opposite of Frank.

Okay. Frank's right out going, fun guy, he loves party, he loves exercising, going outdoors. Jane is very shy, prim, physically frail, and sickly looking, and sickly. Who's the, who's the, who's the, and sickly? And often, often, often had terrible periods of depression. So she looks kind of sick.

Is that, yeah, is she sick? Yes, she's sick. Yeah, that's my, uh, kink. She's sick. I like him. Yeah. I like him frail. I like, uh, sort of, uh frail. I like a sort of a timber new wafer lady. I like a woman

who looks like she might die in my arms. So she also hates smoking and drinking and she hates politics. So it's probably the sex must have just been great. It had to have been the sex. It had to have been the sex. The sex had to have been great. Yeah. There's nothing else here but the fucking. She must have, she must have banged like she was gonna go away real soon. Yeah, I mean, the next year she was pregnant. Oh, okay.

So he finished inside. The next one. I apologize. That's a couple. I'm just deducing, Dave, my role here is a deduction. I'm just deducing. I apologize. That I'm just to do say, hey, my role here is just a deduction and I think that's a well, it just begs to question.

Did he do? Yeah, and he let a rip and that's interesting. That's not and we don't call it let it rip. Let's not hurt. Yeah, let's just move on. OK. No, he's ripping. There's no.

No, no, I'm just saying he, you know, it's like a cannonball. It's not like cannonball. It's a waste laser. It's. So they didn't really socialize much as a couple after the marriage because she was, you know, a bad health and he, and then so he kind of, she totals a bit. I don't know. She then so he kind of, what did she have? She totals a bit. Uh, I don't know. She was just always kind of sick.

She's going to die from childbirth. And, you know, she's going to die from childbirth. We know there's these stories where everyone in these, we have this all the time of the episodes, they're like, and Jeff was very sick forever. Like, you know, it just happens. Like, you're not, she was born without health. She's, she's going to, she's she's gonna die a child uh... okay that's the uh... that's the prediction

so they go frank headspack to dc first new term and jane uh... stays with her mother and amherst now because she doesn't want to go to she doesn't like politics she doesn't want to go to dc's now't like politics, she doesn't want to go to DCs. Now slavery obviously, slavery obviously a pretty big issue at the time, yeah, early mid 1830s, and Frank's not pro-slavery, but he really, really hates abolitionists. It's quite a... He thinks they have really like, holier, better than now attitudes.

Like, yeah. Well, and which, yeah. It's very, it's real similar to today, but it's like, if it were like slavery, it would just be like, I mean, yeah, you are just like, yeah, but I'm not trying to get, no, you just think you're better than me. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't like, yeah, but I'm not trying to get, no, you just think you're better than me. Yeah, well, yeah, I don't want, I don't own people.

Yeah, I get it. I don't either, dude, I told you, I'm not pro-slavery. I'm just saying, it's bad to own people. Yeah, get off the sofa. Nice. I am, I am out. It's done is soap off. I'm not for slavery.

You don't need to give me this attitude. I'm not for slaves, dude. I told you that. Oh my god. I didn't say you were. I just said I don't own people. That's all I don't think people should. That's all I'm saying.

I don't either. We're doing. I'm anti-slavery. It's just your attitude. I'm going to walk the middle line on this one. How? I don't like either side. So it bothers me. So they they would condemn people as like sinners and you know anyone who would enjoy them. So he he literally thinks abolitionists

are intolerable. That's like his thing. He's just, they're just awful terrible people. So, he, and he's also worried that their activism, if it just goes unchecked, is gonna split the nation in half. Okay. Not the slavery that's doing that. It's the people who are mad at the slavery. That's just so interesting where it's like,

well, yeah, but what about the slaves? They're cool. The people talk. Slave owners are good. It's the people who are mad about it. So without without Jane in DC, he's back to booze. He's hitting it with the boys. One night he went to the theater with two other congressmen and their shit faced and one Edward Hannigan gets into an argument with someone he knows and pulls out a revolver and points it at the guy and then someone grabs it so he doesn't shoot him.

So Frank, after this, this gets reported and Frank is pretty embarrassed and he swears off drinking. Oh, wow. Do you think 10 years ago that would have sounded like a crazy thing to have happened? Yeah, not anymore. Yeah, now I'm like, I can see it. I get a hundred percent see of Congress in the social government. Yeah, that will happen. That will happen. Yeah, there will be someone who pulls a gun on another person in government. And you know, it'll be yeah yeah it'll be a it'll be a remarkable moment

we'll be celebrating nothing will change so from his loathing of abolitionists and his friendship and his friendship with the the southern congressman comes a hostility for any northern group that opposes slavery and opposes the expansion of slavery to the west so he is pro-southern now he buddies from the north but he's in a speech to congress he said abolitionists were a small group of fanatics and did not represent the opinions of the North.

Oh, man. Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I hate when it's just like same shit, exactly. That- that bothered me because I think before we did this show, I had these embers of hope. And it's that I kept being like, oh, it's gotten so bad, but it's just consistently been better. It's the same.

It's all the same. Yeah. It just repeating cycles the same thing. It's their mad lips. Yeah, that's right. So he introduces what became known as the gag rule in which any abolitionist bill is automatically tabled. So you could think it is submittable to stop slavery in some way, but then the Congress

is going to agree to put it, pack it away, and not talk about it. So in February 1836, Frank gets a letter that says he is a father. Oh, wow. So yeah, he did make a big. He did make a big. He made it to the egg and then it went to the full term. Yeah. So he pushed it out.

Yeah, that's a big, that's how baby... She pushed it out through her vagina. Yeah, well put it's called a pudding hole. Yeah, and he is he's thrilled. He's got a son. And then another letter comes three days later and said the son died. So he's imagine finding out through letter both. I can't. Yeah. Woo.

Oh, he's out. I can't tell you. He's out partying with the boys and showing people the letter. He's three days of just like you and then he gets the letter. Look at him. He's got my eyes.

There's not a picture there. I know. Yeah, but she drew an eye. Yeah. And then, okay. So he stays in DC. New Hampshire paper, I'm sure by the way,

I'm sure there's some people who are like, he should go home. His wife's probably fine. Go ahead. So the New Hampshire paper, Harold the Freedom, is not happy that Frank keeps saying his constituents are pro slavery.

And they write an article in which they call him a dough face. To face. Wow. He's got a real pizza nugget. Yeah, he's got a bread mug. So that means he's a coward and a no-no-no-no-no-no-no-. So do face means you you you like the South, but you're from the North. Right. Sure. So he's infuriated and he wants to defend his good name. So he goes to the house and he asks for permission to quote, repel an assault on his personal character and impugning his veracity.

Okay. He claims he was only talking about men when he said everyone was pro slavery, not women and kids. So men and he's like, all the dudes for sure. Okay, still, no. Oh, come on. Just a cool man. Come on. Good lord. It's not quite a little thread. He's I What I didn't mean kids people like yeah, we didn't think you were like I am the I represent the children of New Hampshire and My kids' constituents are anti-slavery Kids hate slate kids men love them. Yeah He also was very upset and he's like I am not a dough face such a dough face thing to say so that's so that's his like stance like he is pro

southern but he's also like I am not right so and March thirty seven the state legislature chooses him to uh... to now go to the senate oh gosh so six year term as a senator and he uh... he's the youngest he's the youngest i ever elected to the senate thirty two years old one of his roommates is a sky named johnathan cilly and cilly and cilly johnathan cilly got senator cilly a coup take your thumbs out of your ears, Senator Silly.

I have something to propose. Senator Silly enough. Well, I was just thinking, believe it, believe it, believe it, believe it, Senator Silly, sit down. I was sit down, but I only sit down when my head goes in the chair. Senator Silly enough. Good Lord. sit down but I only sit down when my hand goes in the chair selling a silly enough good lord I don't know why we elected this guy it's it takes up a lot of time. I propose a taffy me blue blue

King's some saltwater taffy Hello, please do you believe Um, I bet some of you are wondering why I've got socks and shoes on my hands Well, let me tell you it's the newest way to walk That's right I propose that we now instead of drinking water just use it to make bubbles with our faces Hello, can we not do any of this? Hello! I just...

Hold, I have a very serious point. I have a very serious point. It's my index finger. That's the serious point. B-ah! Bla-ah! Um... I'm sorry.

I feel like I've distracted us all. Allow me to put my thumb up my rectum. Oh, Jesus Christ. That's a bit of a pie. Get him off the floor. Get me off the floor. Off the floor. I don't know what he means.

I call the floor the ceiling and the ceiling the floor. The walls while they're merely windows. Blip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-bip-b So, Silly gets into it with another congressman from Kentucky. You've been furious! The evil senator! It's decided they will use rifles at 80 yards. Jesus. Quack! That's what we're both looking to survive. I guess they back to each other then they walk 80 yards and I thought it was from the hike. So the other guy kills silly. Whoa

I'm gonna be okay. God keep shooting him. Keep shooting him. I bet you're wondering why my blood stills. I bet you wonder why my blood's pink That's because that's lemonade. Oh It's pink. Ha, ha, ha, it's because it's lemonade. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ha, silly. Oh, ha, yeah, yeah, yeah. Put a balloon in the bullet hole. Watch it, watch it inflate. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

fuck, it really hurts actually. Well, that was quite an out. Yeah, he's dead. So, uh, Frank is just terribly crushed by guilt for not talking him out of it and grieve for his friend. And this only just increases Jane's hatred of politics. And she- Your friends are shooting each other? She really wants him to leave politics. And so that summer, they moved to Concert where he opens a new law firm. And for the next Senate session, Jane actually agrees to go to DC with him. Oh, wow. There we go.

But then before they can go, she has a boy. But just, and that one lives. Oh, okay. She was pregnant. Yeah. So just for those, I feel like you're going to be upset. But that was another time where he, no, he did. He busted in. Don't say that.

I'm just saying. This is a great man we're talking about. I'm just people who, to our younger listeners, what that means, and let me just break it down. What that means is that, you know, he gave it, he did it in, he stayed inside the whole time. Called the seed feed. That boy lives, so she then goes, I'm not going to bring a baby to DC, so she stays behind. And you have to share, Frank.

Frank takes the temperance pledge publicly and becomes president of the New Hampshire State Temperance Association. What does that mean? Temperance is not drinkers. Oh, wow. OK. Right. Because that's what Jane wants, right?

Jane's a big non-drinking person. Is he doing it for her? He had that night. He had that night of the theater where his buddy pulled a gun. So maybe it's partially that, but. I definitely think he, you know, he sounds like a Benji type drinker. Or like, he's definitely a, I go out with the boys and drink type guy. He's an alcohol, I mean, some people

are like, I don't know. He sounds like he was definitely an alcoholic. And you should be. Yes, because you are. I have to work with you. And she, so she is a good influence as far as the drink goes. I also think he's looking for a way out of the drinking.

You know what I mean? It's time. It seems like that kind of, yeah. And he's looking for a way out of the drinking. You know what I mean? It's time. It seems like that kind of. Yeah, and he quits a few times and whatever. So, so, right, so he goes back to DC. The Wigs had crushed the Democrats in the election. He's a Democrat now. He switches whatever.

So the parties are switching at this time, so they become Democrats. Okay. So Frank is now in the minority, so he can't really get anything done, which he doesn't like, and so he resigns after four months into the session. Okay. He's like, oh, this is shit.

Right. Jane hopes that that's it, that he's out of politics. She's like, thank God. But he goes right back to New Hampshire and becomes the, like, the boss of the state Democratic party. He's like running the shit, keeping him organized. He's obsessed with party unity. He's like, we got to keep everybody together.

And he would root out and cast out any little, anybody, any tiny bit of slavery sentiment in his party. They're out of, sorry, anti-slavery. Okay, gotcha. So he wouldn't tolerate any criticism of slaveholders. It was like, if you do twice while he was writing things. He's anti-slavery, but pro-slave owners. He said he's anti-slavery, but he's clearly not.

Right. Anti-slavery. He also, it has been framed this way that he thinks the slavery issue, if slaves are freed, then that will cause the country to break apart. And that's what he doesn't want. He desperately, desperately wants the country to stay together.

So I think that's where his, but he also likes the Southern guys. It's a very confusing, murky, vagish sort of whatever. So the way, it's a legacy. So he leaves the party, he wants party union. He also wants a country together. So it's two things.

He wants his party together. He thinks wants a country together. So it's two things. He wants his party together He thinks his party has to be one way Okay with slavery in the north and that'll keep the country together Okay, that makes sense. No, but I understand If the north doesn't go if the north doesn't go anti-slavery, right then the country will break up Well, I don't know much about history, but I do believe it worked out. I didn't read past this. I haven't read past 1825. So twice while he's running things, he calls special sessions at the state conventions

to kick out men who had been nominated, but who had said anti-slavery comments. So you can't even say it while he's in charge. Now James Polk becomes president, and they had been friends while they were in Congress, like buddies. So first he appoints Frank to be US Attorney in New Hampshire, and then soon after that, he's like, why don't you just be US Attorney?

You got the shit. You know what you're doing, kid. But Pierce turns it down. Oh, okay. Well, no, he turns it down. He's like, you know, I'm gonna stay here because his second son had died, I just died. I literally was about to say, I gotta stay here. One of my kids lived.

Nope, passed away. really was about to say I got to stay here one of my kids lived. Nope. Past away. It died in his four and Jane is grieving in shades DC. So he's like, no, I got to stay with her. A year later though, Paul Co. points Frank as a colonel and then a couple months later, bumps him up to Brigadier General because the Mexican American war has begun. And that if you don't know, what that was, basically America wanted some of Mexico.

Right. And got it eventually, right? Yeah, we got it. So in Frank's first battle, he goes down there, it's his first battle. He's on his horse, and he's about to lead his men. And then artillery goes off, scares his horse, and he goes up and comes back down and slams his nuts on the saddle pommel. Oh.

And he passes out for a second. He got his nuts hurt so bad he passed out. And then the horse trips and falls on his knee which causes a terrible injury. And then when he comes to, he orders someone else to lead the attack, someone shouted, quote, take command of the brigade. General Pierce is a damn coward. And then they went, that guy probably didn't see the nut part. After that, his nickname became fainting Frank. Oh gosh, that's not good.

Ooh. Okay. I mean, he passed his nuts hurt so bad that he passed out. Everyone's like, God, this guy's a coward. Yeah, but people couldn't see that. Like they just saw, they're too ago off and then he fainted. That's what they saw.

You can't see, if you're looking what they saw. You can't see. If you're looking at a guy, you can't see if there's nuts hit the little thing on the saddle. I mean, I would, you could tell. I could tell. He goes down, he's like, oh, you're always stomach ache. You're always looking at nuts though. Well, not, but when you say that,

it makes it sound like I'm looking at balls. I'm studying testicles. It's quite different. Oh Right, I forgot your thesis. Yeah, so the next battle Frank is on foot But he he's knee hurts still and he collapses. Oh, no, and his men just is men just marched past him as he lays on the ground Well, this one. I'm now. I'm a little more on their side. I mean, you know, he's just like, no, whoa, oh, oh. When he found the, and he found the gutter,

the battle's pretty much over. How did it go? Oh, sorry. My knee, my nuts still quake from, Oh, sorry about that. So the next battle is supposed to lead, is the final battle of the war, Frank couldn't go with this man because he had... I have really bad...

Yes, he had terrible diarrhea! Yes, yes. Oh my god, what diarrhea? Yes, he had terrible diarrhea. I can't, my diarrhea. I just I you know when it gets really sore. It's really sore. Do we even have toilet paper yet? What are we using? We're using toilet paper. Our hand. Oh no Boy, is there anything worse than 1800 war diarrhea?

I mean, it's not great. It's not great. It's like, you get diarrhea at home. You're like, this is hell. War diarrhea, the 1800s, you're like, oh, oh boy. It just killed me now. So Mexico City is taking in that battle. And now Frank's board.

He's like, there's nothing to do. Floor's pretty easy. So he and other officers, he and other officers started drinking club. So there's a time where he's just getting shit-faced in Mexico City. And then he finally asked for a leave of absence of absence and he leaves mexico in december eighteen forty seven and when he gets back to new hampshire he has given a massive heroes welcome

weird but he didn't do anything that's how it goes he heard his not his need to go the crowds but they they don't know that new hampshire they just know they went to war his men won battles and he came back. The Fadec Frank didn't follow him home. No. So the political situation is a mess. The war has raised questions of how to handle slavery in new territories, places that open up.

And all the parties split apart. So each party has pro and against slavery groups. Okay. split apart. So each party has pro and against slavery groups. The wigs and the dems split, a new party forms the free soil party. So because of this, no presidential nominees are being agreed on. Everyone just can't agree on anything. Have we talked about the free soils before? I think we've talked about the free soils before. Yeah.

And 1852, Pierce's name is thrown into the mix at the New Hampshire State Democratic Convention. And Jane is horrified. So he puts out a letter saying, putting his name in at the National Convention, quote, would be utterly repugnant to my tastes and wishes. So he doesn't want it, right? He doesn't, he's not, but right after the New Hampshire Patriot paper, writes, quote, we do not understand from his letter.

Remember, he said utterly repugnant to my tastes and wishes. We do not understand from his letter that he forbids the use of his name or that he would decline a nomination tended by him by the great party. Like someone's playing the game a little bit. All right, he said was repugnant. All right, Frank, we'll nominate you. You've been pretty unclear about what you want. I said, I don't want it.

He's being repugnant. You scam. You know what you not being a scam. Oh, don't nominate me. Do not nominate me. I know I better be because I do not want to be nominated. Put Frank's name in. No, I told you not to. My wife will be furious. He's good. Ah, there he goes again. It's great. I love those. Not said I can't make any more babies.

I love it. I love the whole thing you do. Of what? The whole, oh, I don't want to be present. I love it. It's great. I love it. I love it.

Frank, don't vote for me. Yes, that's the guy I'm going to vote for. I don't want this. His speeches. So I am begging you. Do not vote for me. Please. I swear. Please, I'm saying please, please God, don't. Yeah. Woo. I love this guy. Yeah. More. So, uh, but in DC, a lot of people are saying he would be the perfect compromise candidate. There is something very attractive about someone who doesn't want it. Yes, I agree with that. Like, when there's someone who doesn't want to be in politics, you're like, that's kind

of why we want you. Well, what's up with this guy. He's a northern whose pro slavery. So I guess technically he is the compromise candidate, but so a group starts pushing his name. Some guys he fought with in Mexico, other officers, and peers start saying things behind the scenes that make it seem like he does want. I know. Okay. Now I don't like it.

Like, like he says, Northerners should not come up with any campaign plank that would offend the South. Right. Which is not for the white. You think of the guy? Yeah, right. Right.

Right. He's all about keeping the country together. He's nominated at the National Convention. Okay. And he and Jane are in Boston when that happens. They're there for a week. And the convention is in Baltimore. And they're on a carriage ride

and a messenger rides up on a horse. And he's like, hey, you've been nominated by the Democrats to be president in Jane Fanes. Wow, Jane, so she wasn't bullshitting. No, she's really, she really doesn't like it. Huh, huh, which is the normal person in the story. Yes, yes, indeed, yes. So wigpapers called Franklin Pierce a quote, obscure unknown individual.

Because he is kind of, he's just like a congressman, he's from New Hampshire. Sure. Nobody even knows if that's really a state. Right. Where's the old Hampshire? Where's the old Hampshire? So that's interesting. Thank you.

Where's the first Hampshire? Thank you. So Southern Dems embrace him, and Northern Dems are like, nah, they're split. Like the pro-slavery ones was a good and the ones that are not first-labor you're like no we don't want this guy the boston atlas and quote no man has ever earned for himself more deservedly the reputation of a most thorough

paced dofez okay paced dofeys. Okay, dofeys. Yeah. Their sent their son Benjamin wrote to his mom that he helped Frank with lose because she did not want to live in DC. There's a family doesn't want to win. Yeah, they have a son Benjamin. He's now around 11. So his nuts did work after the horse problem. Or no, I didn't put him when his kids were born, but that kid was born before the nuts situation.

OK. But to be clear, because that kid became older, this is the guaranteed third time that he shot inside. There's a reason I didn't say he had another kid. I didn't. What was that? Talk to, talk us through the rationale. I don't, I don't think you can handle it emotionally.

I think it's great. I think it's great. I think it's great. I don't say terrible things every time. Do you know how often he's pulling out? Because it's so far I'm just thinking that he's going, he's driving to the paint every shot. I don't, I'm not gonna address the whole thing.

Well, he addressed the whole. Okay, I'm not gonna talk about any of the stuff with the, you know right but let's just say he's a card carrying member of the guru I don't think we should say that okay I'm just trying to help some of our younger listeners understand what you from a biological standpoint what is happening what what you what What, what, what age are you thinking you're talking to? Five. Five.

God, don't ever. Please, no. I just want them to know what happens when you're part of the Goo Crew. Well, don't. Okay. I feel so sorry. So, so far, so sorry for your niece and nephew.

Yeah. So scared for them. What? So the Wigs started attacking Pierce for being an alcoholic They called him the hero of many a well thought bottle That's pretty good pretty good. That's pretty good There there's not much difference between the two parties because they both have the same issues with anti-slavery, personal, labor, and blah blah blah. And then they just attack on personal levels, like attacking Frank for being not known and being an unknown alcoholic

is what they think. So nobody, it's the worst voter turnout in like the 1800s. Nobody comes. And that means that Frank ends up crushing. And yeah, and the Wigs are totally routed. So Frank wins. Again, he is like, I just want unity in the Democratic party. And he decides to share cabinet positions and all of his picks for federal positions across all the factions in the Democratic Party, not just the one that had supported him, not just his one.

He's like, I'm going to, everybody gets love. He wants balance. And so that's what he sets out doing. In late December his Jane's uncle dies and so they go to Boston to see the family and they're for a little bit and And on January 6th they're leaving. They're on a train and the axle in the car brakes that they're in and Frank grabs Jane and then reaches over to try and grab Benjamin who's across the aisle. But it can't reach you.

No. And the car derails and it falls 20 feet down a culvert. And then Frank and Jane are fine. I don't know what you're doing. It's just a little bit. He just can't hold on to you. His head is sheared off. He's almost to capitated.

He's a jelly-ish mess. What the hell? Oh, his head is sheared off. Oh, he's almost to capitated. Yeah. He's a, he's a jelly-ish mess. Stop. He's gone. OK. And they see it all. Like, it's very horrifying. Oh, that's horrible.

Jane now will not come to DC because, I mean, I guess, you know, she's whatever. I don't want to go make a kid die. I don't know. You know, third kid died. So she's already had problems with depression. Now she said three children died. Yeah, right. Is a fourth one pending? No. There's no more.

That's it. We're done. He's leaving the jail. Why would you? I'm just saying he's out of the, he's out of what we call the business. He's leaving the jizz biz. He's out of what we call the business.

He's leaving the Gisbez. You need, you need to really talk to someone professional. Okay. Someone who, uh, I'm just, I'm trying to let some of our younger listeners know that you don't need to worry anymore because

he's not rocking the squirt shirt any longer. All you're doing is upsetting young people? They don't know what you're talking about. I'm trying to tell their parents are getting it. You're you're at nobody's enjoying this podcast. Okay. It's upsetting.

Sure. It's way too way too sexual. Right. I don't think it's just beautiful. Explain it's beautiful. Okay. All right. Okay. Now everybody gets it. Everyone beautiful. It's beautiful. Okay, all right. Okay. Now everybody gets it. Everyone knows how babies are made.

Okay, right. And we're good to go. Then let's keep going. I'm going. And that's not happening anymore. Okay. And I was just letting people know that they should not be anticipated.

No more babies. Exactly. It's all pullouts on the tummy. That's right. Right. He's making a belly smell tummy. That's right. Right. He's making a belly smelly. That's it. So Frank doesn't use, Frank's, Frank doesn't use,

so he's like distraught and he's being inaugurated and he doesn't even use notes. He just gives an amazing speech. I if his bull shit and then you die. I don't take trains anymore. It's just ridiculous. If it's not... Welcome to... Disease that it's a train or whatever the first one passed away from,

I don't even remember, probably. I think just being a baby. Gonna have a little more... Oh, darkness. Vodka. Terrible. I'm going to have a little more. Darkness. Vodka. Terrible. I didn't even want to be dominated, but maybe I did. That night he goes out and goes to different celebrations and just gets shit faced.

And so, so much that some people are not concerned, He's not going to be able to handle being a president Now Frank I think it's her cousin her cousin comes and is kind of doing what the first lady would do Wow, and he they they host parties for politicians and and then Jane comes 18 days after to the inauguration, but she stays in seclusion. She's in the White House She's totally no one Caesar And he is he is now drinking. He's he's is liberally as they said sure and

and Sometimes he would drink just late into the night, like just really turning it loose. If they had like a dinner party wherever he'd keep going, Jane would never come to the dinner parties. She didn't come to the dinner parties until the end of 1854, so like two years. But you know, she's already had problems with depression

and now we're fucking kid that lived the 12th is dead. So yeah, totally understandable But she gets the nickname the shadow in the white house. Wow good lord Because people are It's because people because it was like she would, when she was seen, she was just like wandering around like a ghost, they said. Jane believed it was the quote, darkness and sinfulness of his political ambition

that was responsible for Ben. That's a tough one to talk yourself out of. That's a, you're like, I wish it didn't. I'm really sucks that you think that because I drank our boy died in the drain. That's really bad. You're like, I mean, that's...

No, not just drink. I don't... I don't... She thinks. Oh, yeah, right, right. She thinks essentially that he, like, a deal was done and he traded the life of his child to become president in a way, you know. Either way though, it's just like trade off. You're like, I can't talk my way out of this one.

There's nothing else to say. No, you really can't. No, there's nothing you can say. So, Pierce just goes about his business. What else can he do? His cabinet, like I said, he's picking guys from all different sides. So there's this 1850 slavery compromise,

which was a big thing that fractured all the parties. Like that's what led to it all splitting up. It's basically, what is the deal? I forget what it is. It's like that's what led to it all splitting up. It's basically, what is the deal? I forget what it is. It's like compromise. But it was basically about Kansas and going west and how things are going to be handled and what can be turning into a slave territory and what can't and a slave state.

And then there's also the fugitive. So now people can go north and capture slaves. That's a, people are really upset about that. All right. So, and he's supported about that. The state, the place is where, where if you got to, you were free. Now you can be recapsed. Just, right.

Now you can be recapsured, nagging me recaps you, yeah. And so he's also against the government paying for infrastructure, like I said. Sorry, his vice president dies of tuberculosis three months in. You did that. Ah! I, honey.

Yes. It's because you never put the toilet seat down and that killed him. He had tuberculosis It sounds like If your actions were just a little more on the side of cautious we wouldn't be here What are you talking about? Dead too just like Benjamin because you got and hit that race and drank so much. Benjamin's head fell off in a train.

That, it was an accident. I had nothing to do with it. All accidents are predetermined. Oh, I hate it here. I'll be in the room. I know that. Oh. Oh. the room I know that

The Constitution has nothing it says nothing about if a president if a vice president dies or if he It becomes a dull up Well, it's just an empty there's an empty office then there's not it doesn't say anything about replacing the vice president It doesn't say anything about replacing the vice president at this point. Wow, okay. Yeah, so that guy, like maybe a guy he could have helped him or talked to, whatever. Right. So, it doesn't take long for all democratic factions to get pissed at all the appointments he's making. And they're getting mad for all kinds of different reasons.

An editor in Pennsylvania, who's a big damn guy, is angry that Frank picked a Catholic to be post-pastor general. Okay. Which I get. I get. Like, and that's some things you got to see. Sure. Like, you know what I mean?

All of a sudden, this guy's like, I love the Pope, and I do mail. Like, really? How does that work? Is DeJoy still the, uh, our post guy? Oh, yeah. Why would you get rid is to joy still the uh... our post-guy oh yeah why would you get rid of the guy who uh... wants to privatize the post office hoops yeah why would you get rid of him it's interesting

everybody loves post-posed i remember that being a very problematic man i do too i do too i do too yeah i don't forget about it it's not a thing uh... so uh... I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding.

I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. I was just kidding. He should have just said these are my guys not try to please people because he's going for the unity thing But he should have just said This is the faction I'm from that's and then everyone have been like right. That's what you knew when you want So how many people from golds and tax or his cabinet lots all So he thinks as far as slavery and anti-slavery people both think Pierce is being a dick with

all his picks. So, yes, he's done, he's done, he's done, is he trying, I mean, he's probably trying to appease everybody and then he pleases nobody. Yeah. Right, exactly right. In New York, the inner fighting is crazy. There's three factions of Democrats, the Barnburners, the soft shell, hunkers, and the hard shells.

What, talk to me? No, I'm not going to tell you what they are. I don't care. I don't know. There's the hard shell. So, are you shell, hunkers? Do you like, do you like crab? I, it's been a little while.

It's the same thing. Okay. So, it's just their craft. So, it's just their craft. So it's just their friends. Barnburners. Like a beard of Barnburn and a crab? Yeah. Okay.

So Pierce tries to do all the picks evenly between all three. And it's a shit show. They're just all angry. So at this point in early 1853, a lot of warning Pierce, he needs to come up with some sort of policy to push nationwide for people to rally around. But he's totally oblivious. He gives an address in 1853, the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. So the, he gives, like, it's the state of the union now.

It was, it wasn't called that yet, but so the wig paper, the bossan Atlas, called it, quote, the weakest, most inane, an unsatisfactory document that ever emanated from the head of a nation. Wow. So I didn't go great. So it's not. Yeah, it's not great. The reviews are fantastic. That seems like a little might have been okay. Reviews. The Democratic paper, New York Herald said it was

very vague and avoided the subject of the Nebraska territory. That's now that I would say is more of what we do now. You're like, what are they saying? Like it's very, yeah, what's he talking about? What? Do something. So then Nebraska thing is Southern jams aren't going to allow new states without slavery and they already have the Missouri compromise, which since slavery was forever prohibited in those places. So we've talked about this in the John Brennan episode. This is the bleeding Kansas thing. This has been the violence erupts.

And Nebraska's like a big thing at this point. It's like Louisiana purchased like big area. And so Frank wants to sort of organize Kansas without addressing slavery. Oh man. God. It's, it's, I try. It's so amazing that these people, and they're all

over the place right now in America, but they want to do stuff without, that's not. So let's just avoid the subject that makes it around the elephant in the room. Yeah. Work in the margins. Yeah. Like it's just, it's so crazy.

So Congress introduces a bill that now pisses off the Northern Dems, because it's going to basically, it's going to create the bleeding Kansas thing, which is like one state can have slaves, the other state can. And they already have the Missouri compromise, so that, you know, the state can. You know, it's, it's, and they already have the Missouri compromise so that the people who, the Missouri compromise have been passed, so everyone's like, hey, you can't have slaves there if you have a new state.

And now they're overriding that basically. So, uh, Pierce Baxit. And the residents of any territory, he said, quote, were perfectly free to form and regulate their institutions in their own way. And the impression is that Kansas is going to be a slave state and Nebraska free state. So Southerners are fine with that. They're like, great, because they did get a victor, right?

And the bill barely passes and he signs it at the end of 1854 and then Dems get fucking obliterated in elections. They lose, they're losing states they've never lost before in the North. The Wigs are completely annihilated. The No Nothing movement starts rising up now because of all this, and Catholic immigration is obviously, we're still against that. And, and the Republican Party starts to rise up in 1856. So it's things that crazy in Kansas pierce orders free stateers to leave Kansas.

And it puts all the way to the government behind it, including the military, which is behind illegally electing pro-slavers, is basically what he's supporting. Say that again he's basically what he's done is put himself illegally behind pro-slavers right by doing that right and he's fucking toast at that point things things are so bad now that he's being burned in effigy a new hamster

wow what are they burning? She looks a lot like me. But this one happens when you don't really come out and take a position. When you have actually no philosophy, there's no, he, but to be fair, there's no ideology. To be fair, he was basically saying that the whole time.

He was like, I don't want it. I don't want it. I have nothing. He's winging speeches. I'm going to try to make everyone happy. Everyone's like, dude, fuck you. You're terrible. Yeah, when you try to make everyone happy, just doesn't work.

So the Dems are crushed in the midterm election. Sometimes still want him for president in 1856. There's still a group of people who are like this. This is our guy. He's literally so unlike that it's crazy. Can you imagine? And the bit, and the biggest support comes from the democrats in the south there are many who think it's insane to run him again but

band-up winning he's not he's not nominated you can and wins the nomination that it's like many many ballot but he started out okay and then slowly after each voting ballot he he gets less and less. So he, Pierce becomes the only elected president who tried to get re-nominated while president and lost the nomination.

The New York Times wrote, quote, he was take up in the first place because he was unknown. And now he is spurned because he is known. Right. Yeah, people got to know like what he was unknown. And now he is spurned because he is known. Right. Yeah, people got to know like what he was about, which was very little. And they're like, eh, it's not great. Yeah, I'm not good.

Publicity tries to rally dams to unify. And he's pretty happy going back to private life in New Hampshire. He spent the last nine months of his presidency just vetoing infrastructure bills. God, it's so. Oh, it's just like this. So what's his plan?

He's just like, they'll build it on their own when they have to. He just doesn't think you should do that. Like, it's just amazing. The end of the event, I mean, I'm here to advance. I'm here to advance. Bridge. There's a river there.

So yeah, I mean, it's pretty amazing. Congress would just override him and pass the bills. They like everyone's for it. This is when summer is cain in the Senate. All right. OK. John Brown kills those people with the sword and Kansas. And then the guy who won the nomination, the Democrat guy

Buchanan, is elected president. He carries every slave state but Maryland. It's got to be so awkward doing the presidential handover to someone in your party. Oh Yeah, well I really think it was me What then you always absolutely I think it was me that, but really is... This is hard.

Yeah, no, you were very bad. I was real terrible. Yeah, the thing that I'm gonna do now, the thing that you people didn't want you to do at all. Right. I'm gonna do that now. I'm gonna do it probably better, which isn't hard, I gotta be honest.

The upstairs toilet? Uh-huh. Oh, fuck, is that a ghost? Yeah. Oh Jesus. Yeah. That was horrifying. I'm sorry. That's my wife. Your wife is a ghost? I'm not sure what's going on anymore, but I'll tell you one thing that doesn't happen is I'm not allowed to... how should I put this? Put rockets into the cavern. The only thing I'm allowed to do is make a tummy comey.

Okay, this is one of the reasons I think you're not the president still. Sure, I'm going to miss this place kind of a little bit. Nobody was into the talk about in and out and tummy, whatever. Nobody liked it and you kept saying it the whole time to your president. It's a lot like slavery. You know what, babies are made. A lot like slavery. It's not like slavery.

It's nothing like slavery. Not that different. You're a creep. I'm going to leave through the window. Thank you. Like I said, you can and we can and wins. Because of here's the Dems lost a lot of the North. So it's like the big shift.

And Frank is out of the White House when he's 52. He has a ton of money because he'd saved half of what he made while he was president, which they got the equivalent of 500,000 a year today. And then he invested a bunch in railroads and banks. So, what is the president make now? What is the president make now?

250? No, 200 or 250, yeah. Is it fucking hilarious? We still pay the, like, it's so stupid to still pay the president. There's no reason to pay the president anymore. No, don't give, why would you? You should get minimum wage.

Yeah, you should get minimum wage. You should get nothing. I mean, but the idea that it's like, what's Obama worth, 70 million? Like, I mean, we really should, there really should be a bill that if you're worth a million dollars, you don't get a salary when you're in.

Well, Trump said he was gonna for a go at it, but then he took it. I can't believe that. Yeah, true. I can't believe Trump would, I can't believe Trump would do that. I know. Yeah.

But it's like paying them. It's like, we look, you were run by millionaires. We know it. But it's like, nah, be nice. So he was worth about 1.5 million in today's money. So he's got money. So he goes back in a lot. We think about going back in a lot, but they

doesn't. Instead, he decides to take care of Jane. Who's who's not well? She's just not well. A friend asked him why he married an invalid. Wow. Cool. That's my wife, dude. Well, then the idea. Just let's have a friend cover. Is she doing an undercover boss? Why don't you wear? Why don't you make sick him a sicker sick him sicker man though I can't be good we have every conversation with me is a frank conversation

well I'll tell you why one reason why I'm married is because she wanted to have kids and you know what that means don't you what oh? Oh, fuck, no, this is why you lost the presidency. How did you say you know what it means? Do you know what it means? No, I don't know, I don't want to know. I plant inside. Fuck. So,

so he called fertilizer oh wait he said when he was asked why he and read an invalid he said quote i could take better care of her than so anyone else so that's love uh... now now jane has tuberculosis and you can't travel uh...

so a lot of debs came by to pay the respects to Frank Because they're still in DC. They can't leave DC because she's so sick, right? So people come in by to pay the respects. He's still the Dems really like him like he's a nice guy people like a reporter said however he looked ruined after his four years and said he was, quote, a wreck of his former self and his face wears a hue so Gasly and cadaveris that one could almost fancy. He was gazing at a corpse. Wow. Good Lord. Don't pull punches. I'm aggressive. That is physically aggressive commentaries. A friend asked him what he was going to do after he got off his and Frank, Frank said, quote, get drunk.

Oh, man, my man, my man. So the pierces finally DC on March 25th. They get a filly and stay in hotel for six weeks because there's a doctor there to take care of her. And she gets better. And then they stay at her sister's house in Massachusetts and then they go back to New Hampshire. It's all kind of like baby steps to get back there.

In a few months in this time period, I'm talking about, a ton of people die that they know, relatives, two people die on the same day, like everybody, all these people they know are dying. They move to Port Smith, because it's right on the ocean. So, Janky, me near the sea, that's supposed to be good for, and while they're there, Pierce becomes friends with Clarence March.

I talked earlier about his brother, Clement, who used to drink with a fraudal guy. So, now he becomes drinking buddies with Clement. And they have some serious nights of binging. And March's uncle is a consul in Spain. And he writes and he says, hey, can you take in the pierces to get Jane out of the winter and she can spend it.

And so they go to live in Spain for like six months. She gets better, and they're like, great, let's take a trip in Europe. So they start traveling around Europe, and then she gets sick again. Now Buchanan's president is a disaster. Some Dems pushed up Pierce, this guy named Franklin Pierce, to seek the nomination again. some dense pushed appears. This guy named Franklin Pierce to seek the nomination again. He's reties drunk.

He's drunk. He was also terrible. He was a terrible person. He never had a good option. He was a terrible person. He never had a good option. He was a terrible person. He never had a good option. He was a terrible person. He never had a good option. He never had a good option. He never had a good option. It's just like after everything I've read they're like they're like what about this?

I'm gonna toss a name at you now just give me a second Franklin Pierce. Really interesting interesting. I don't hate it. So so yeah they're like why doesn't this Franklin Pierce guy run and he said he said look if my name comes up at the convention, it's going to annoy me. Well, it's getting easier. Yeah. This is what he said last time.

He said last last time. He was like, it would be repugnant or something. Now he's like, I'd be pissed. So he buys land in New Hampshire on the sea to have a farm. They go to the Bahamas to try to get her well. The Dems are a disaster. They can't settle on anybody at the convention. Frank still obsesses the unity.

He tries, he wants to stop secession. That's all he cares about at this point. And someone asks him, can you go down to Alabama and speak to the people on Obama to reassure them that things aren't going to go bad? And he's like, I'm not going to go down there, but I'll write a letter. And he writes a letter, open public letter to people in Alabama asking them to give Norther's time, quote, for casing out the fanaticism and the enthronement of

reason. So he's saying, look, you got to give the north time to realize that slaves are pretty cool in the end. And that we need slaves for you guys you guys do like When Fort Sumner is fired upon April 12th 1861 starting the Civil War He blamed Republicans a newspaper wrote a fake story About Franklin that he went to Detroit to give aid to pro Confederates. So the base is saying he's like a spy behind the lines. It's totally made up.

Republicans send the story to the State Department because they're all freaked out. Ex-President up in the North helping the South. They have a clerk write him and be like, what are you doing? And he fucking loses his shit and writes an anger letter to the Secretary of State saying he's not a traitor. On July 4th, he speaks on July 4th, 1863. He speaks at a rally and just tears Lincoln a new one about the war. And he called the Union's War Effort quote, fearful, fruitless, and faithful. So because he attacks Lincoln and the war, now a bunch of Dems want him to run for president against.

Jesus. Just a speech that like I do like him. Is there anything that you can do where people aren't going to be on your side? I mean, it's maybe being a pedophile, but even then, would that work? It's just there yet, but yes. So, he's like, he's like, I'm not going to do it. I'm not, it's not happening.

So, for the first two years, the war Frank is traveling around New England while James stays at our sisters. So a couple of things like he could have had like a hard time dealing with our illnesses at this point and our moods, but he's also traveling around the whole time, two years with his drinking buddy, Clarence March. That's what he's really. So they're literally just, yeah, he's out partying. He's out.

He's on the road. He's on a booze ride. He's a road. Yeah, he's really so they're literally just yeah that he's out partying he's out he's on the road he's on a booze road yeah he's a road he's on the road so he he probably chose booze over his way to go out and see like the last president getting wasted like that Franklin appeared oh my god yeah you do it a yeager bomb uh Baker bomb. Jane, Jane Dysapotur tuberculosis on December 2nd, 1863, 57. Cheese. Frank was, Frank was said to be quote, overwhelmed with grief. Yeah, but he wasn't there or anything.

No, he moves to conquer. And that's where he has been linking gets assassinated. And after linking gets assassinated, a mob forms outside his house because they want to know why he's not flying the American flag in honor of Lincoln. And he comes out and speaks and says not flying the flag has nothing to do with patriotism. He's like, my father was a war hero. My brother was also, I fought in Mexico. And then by the tiny fish.

Get in me in Mexico, I got my nuts squished. I had real bad diarrhea, and I overslept or something. You want to see what my nuts look like now for this country? Look at that. They're flat. Look at that. I got paid caked. After he was done the speech, the crowd gave him three cheers and went.

Imagine that turn around. All right, well, hip hip hooray, hip hip hooray, hip hip was there. He bought a land on the shore and spent just time between the two homes. March and others would often stay with him. It was like a little cottage with a spare little cottage, so it was like a little hangout with place. Lot of drinking at the cottage, lot of drinking. In the summer of 1867, Frank really starts drinking heavy.

And in September, a nephew found him super sick and alone in his cottage, and slowly nursed him back to health, but then he immediately starts drinking again. I feel pretty good. So that happens to have a screwdriver. So that happens again in 1868, and then happens again in 1869.

So he's almost killing himself with drinking, and then someone finds him and nurses him back to health, and then he starts drinking again. In the fall of 1869, he's too late to get out of bed and quote, sadly amaciated. And he died on October 8, 1867, Sarosius of the liver. He had joined the Protestant church a few years before, which he picked because Protestant ministers refused to denounce slavery from their pulpits, and he was laying in

state in the state capital and the Protestant minister presided. So he really had no ideology other than I'm for slavery. And I want America to stay united. It wasn't. And because of that, we can't get rid of slavery. He definitely, I wouldn't say he didn't have any ideology, I would just say that his thing was keep the country together. Don't make it better and keep it together. Yeah, but then, you know, your morality is what? Like, that's the thing that's missing here, like.

Yes. Well, I mean... Like, yeah, there's no... There is... Yeah, no, you're at the end of the day, no matter what you say you are, what your reasons are, you're on the side of using things. Like, if you hired someone to do a remodel your house and they came in and they were like,

all right, I'm gonna take lunch. You're like, what are you gonna do here? And they'd be like, that is pretty good, right? Let's just not, I don't think we should change too much, too fast, you know what I mean? Might upset you. Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, it's just that thing like, and it's like, well, what were they yeah, it's just that thing like,

and it's like, well, what were they supposed to do? Like move fast? It's like, yeah, you're gonna get there anyway. Yeah. Like, we're gonna get there. It's just like this country. We're gonna get there anyway. At some point, we're gonna get there. Yeah, it's, yeah, again, I mean, I think you,

it's like, well, the truth is that they, it's almost refreshing to have someone not really want to do anything because they just pretend so hard now to want to do things. Yeah. Don't do anything. I don't know which is worse, but it sounds like the Democrats have always had it together to me. The sources for this, Michael Holt, Franklin Pierce, David King, also Franklin Pierce,

the Washington Post, Franklin Pierce, rolled on off the tracks and a Chicago Tribune story about Drinks the Presidents. Enjoy it. Drinks the President, the President or presidents? Presidents. That's a great one. I just enjoyed. Drinks the president, the president or presidents. Presidents. That's a great one.

Drinks the presidents enjoyed. So I posted this on Twitter, but I wanted to see if chat, G, B, T, or whatever it is, could come up with anything that wouldn't be helpful. And I put in a couple of things. I was like, hey, give me a script for Frank and Pierce, garbage. And then I said, just tell me about his childhood. Totally wrong.

Like they just, like AI just sends out nonsense. Like it's just all fake. It's like American exceptionalism, garbage, crap. Like it's all right. Yeah. It just wants to make you happy. I exceptionalism, garbage, crap. Like it's not. Oh, right. It just wants to make you happy. I tried a bunch of different things. There was a lawyer.

I can't remember what the case was, but recently, and I don't even think it was, I feel like it was in Italy. Maybe I'm wrong. But whatever it was, this lawyer basically like asked Chad Gbt to give him like his opening statement or something like that or some legal argument.

And it gave him three cases to cite. And he figured out one of them was wrong. So then he asked Chatt G.P.T. if the other ones were right. And Chatt G.P.T. was like, yep, he was like, OK, so he goes in the court. He presents those as real cases. And everyone was like, no, so he goes into court. He presents those as real cases and everyone was like, no, there's aren't cases. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What a good guy. Bye, Checo. Bye, man, person.