The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 592 - Albert Einstein - Part One

Episode Date: July 25, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine genius Albert Einstein. Part 1 of 2 Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace Helix Sleep

The dollop wants to thank our sponsor helix sleep helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and Two free pillows for our listeners go to helix sleep.com slash dollop This is their best offer yet, and it won't last with helix better sleep starts now You're listening to the dollop on the all things comedy network this It's an American history podcast or each week I Man in hotel room a wearer of shoes and pants Man with many dogs Dave Anthony reads a story from American history to a guy. Gareth Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about.

I would love to sit here and nitpick a lot of what, you know, just calling me a guy, which is bullshit. But instead, why don't I point out that you've definitely said that you were shoes and pants before on your litany of really cool things about you? Hold on, hold on. I've never done them together. I knew that was coming. I really did. Well, I could have, uh, said that. You know what I mean? This is, no, it's called shoe business.

Now you're dealing with an old, wily shoe biz guy. I'm certainly dealing with an old guy. So you're dealing with an oldubis guy. I'm certainly dealing with an old guy. I'm certainly dealing with an old Wily guy. File stuff away for comedic reasons. I tell you what, there were a lot of people out there. There were a lot of people when I put them there. Where? At the audience, the people, the listeners.

You just did it. Did what? All right. Well Dave, I think it's high time that I did what I've been waiting to do for a while. You have just put on bulk app and a long time. A J-Town. I don't know how big of a change is in the future. I'm coming around. I'm just serious.

Let's put on. Did you call me J-Town? Did you just call me J-Town is I'm coming around. I'm coming to just cherish us put on. I have to come to cherish. Did you just call me cherish? I'm excited. Whatever. It says that you can call me cherish. I'm excited. Jerice put on a hat. That's it. Jey down. Listen to me. Why would I ever point out a mispronunciation of my name? Think about that for a second. Why would I ever do that? That understands you. You have a pathological reaction. What does it say, Dickel?

Just as J-town ballboys and it's everything we know. I guess what? I got one for you too. They brought them, someone brought them to a show. So we can rock these together. Probably at one of our live shows, Dave, which we'll be doing a bunch of we will be in San Jose on July 26 San Francisco July 28 Sacramento July 30th, Boise, August 1st Salt Lake City No Salt Lake City August 2nd, Denver August 7th, which I'm just saying that because the other Denver date is sold out. August 5th will be in Boulder. Two, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two,

two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, two,

two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, three, two, three, three, two, three, two, dream of ours for a long time October 7th October 10th will be in Taliah Hall in Chicago October 11th will be in Milwaukee will be in Madison August 12th and will be in Saint Paul August 14th go to dolloppodcast.com for tickets and yes we actually do have a Salt Lake City Show on August 3rd that one is sold out so we're doing in August 2nd one and then we have a Denver show August 6th and that one is out, so we're doing one August 7th as well. So different shows I'm told, and we won't have J-Town hats for sale, but we will have merch for sale,

which we've never really done before. So we will have decals of our signatures, we will have t-shirts, one of them might be J-Town related, even though I put up quite a fight for a long time on the J-Town stuff, but here we are. I'm wearing some J-T related, even though I put up quite a fight for a long time on the J-town stuff, but here we are. I'm wearing some J-town merch right now. I'll be selling flour. No, you won't be over my dead body.

Over my dead body. So if you want some merch, we'll have that available for you. Also I'll be in Fort Collins August, I think 18th and 19th and then I'll be in Minneapolis and ACME on August 24th through the 26th. September I'll be in the UK and you can't get emotional. September I'll be in the UK and in November I'll be in Australia and you can go to my website garythronalds.com for all that. I'll probably have Josepins.

But we have signature decals for cars. This is big, Dave. Gareth, we're brought to you in part by Helix Sleep. Helix Sleep of course is a mattress situation. They do mattress things over there and they do the best mattress things. We, Gareth and I have been sleeping on our helixes for years. The best. It's like five years or something.

Less for me, but I love it. We liked our helix so much that our kid came in and was like, how come your bed is so much better than my bed? And what Dave is saying there is he's got a healing sleep. He's talking about our kid. Just to be clear, Dave and I adopted a boy and Franko. And he's our son. He's awesome. And he comes into our room all the time.

And he's like, I love your helix. He loves it. Loves it. So here's what Franco did. He went. He took the helix sleep quiz, which takes about two minutes. It figures out what's the best mattress for you and your body.

There's all kinds of different things on there. And I'll just point out that Frank was not used to passing quizzes. He's a bad student. He takes after a jarrish in that way. So you can also, like, how you sleep, do you sleep on your back, do you sleep on your side, do you sleep on your eyeballs? Like I do. Frank goes and sleeping on his ears. He's my boy.

But you say that like it's abnormal. Most people do do that. Because your head belongs on a pillow like that. So. So everybody's unique. So you can get the right, he sleeps mattress for you. I got the dusk lux. Same.

And it comes in a box, you open it up, it just comes to life right in front of you. And I just, I don't mean to keep jemmit. Franko came to us in a box you open it up it just comes to life right in front of you and I just I don't mean to keep jimmy franko came to us in a box too we open it up the boy jumped out he did not eat it about four to six weeks had to cut the ambillagal cord right there yeah so they're made with a 10 to 15 year warranty depending on the model it's great man he likes is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixleap.com slash dollop.

This is their best offer yet, and it won't last long with Helix better sleep starts now. And it really is. They jacked up the percentage, 20%. What else brought to you apart? Bye. Squarespace. Squarespace, of course.

Domains, websites, online stools, marketing tools, analytics, I've been business with Squarespace. Squarespace, of course. Domains, websites, online stools, marketing tools, analytics. I've been business with Squarespace for over a decade. We went to college together and we're on a baseball team together, so we've been doing all this stuff for a while. We want us looking for a website when I'm starting out as a young, young comedian in the 50s. 17, I have a major website. And Squarespace has the best websites, the cleanest looking websites, the easiest to use.

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Gareth and I both have our websites with Squarespace. Every website we're associated with is Squarespace. Everyone, the dollop sources, the personal websites. Our personal websites, the podcast. You get all your tour date information right there on the internet. love the cross-permoding stuff. I'm not into that so if we could kind of keep it clean. I don't like Gareth. So look, here's the most important thing. Go to squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch you use the offer code dollop to save 10% of your first purchase of a website or

10% of your first purchase of a website or domain. I've said enough about that. I've said enough about it. You've said enough in general. I think, honestly, I speak for the fans and the listeners. If you weren't to speak again for this episode, that would be too much. Can we get the address of the hotel you're at for if people want to swing by?

I think that'd be cool. I don't think that's it. Can you just say the room number and we get to kind of figure out the hotel? We can just call and try to figure out which one. I'm in room 919. Alright everybody, you know what to do. By the time this goes up, I won't be here. March 14th, 18 1879 Albert Einstein was born in Ome and the German Empire Oh our greatest president our great both sides of us and i should say uh... i didn't say you're of our lord jaytown

who uh... how's it is for now who who does a who who's doing a late night bowling league uh... all the kids are into this rock music uh... there's a band sometimes a place there's lights do you ever think that things are saying jake as a new fan of jaytown do you ever think that things are saying about about jtown don't sound that cool no no the kids

lovely night bowling they love it man they go crazy for it all right the balls are are fluorescent colored it's no they're not the lights mate no no no the it's the lights the balls don't become fluorescent it's just the balls are fluorescent colored no that's yeah no they are jate town made Both sides of Albert Einstein's family were Jewish peddlers his father Herman Which is the name that actually means mr. Man by the way, uh-huh Is that right so we should yes Herman means mr. Man

Mr. P. He means Mr. Mann. He means Mr. Mann. His father, her man, it's got two ends on the end. So, anyway, he had done well at school, but wasn't able to go to college, because most universities did not accept Jews. And Dave, let's just take a minute to think about some of the stuff you're saying. Yeah, no, it's definitely not good or normal. Yeah, sure. Well, maybe it's more normal than you want to.

Anyway, so he co-owned a featherbed company with his cousin, but never a great businessman, Herman. Okay. Albert's mom, Pauline, was from a very wealthy family and was known for her biting wit and her sarcasm. Okay, sure. Which could sometimes be crossover and accrual? Okay, so she's a bit of a Dave Anthony. Why? Why am I taking body blows already?

I'm just starting. I'm coming at you. I am mad at you. Because of Grey-ish? Jerish! Stop! Can you at least get your wrong right? In 1880, the family moved to Tommunik. And his sister, Maya, was born. The Einstein's weren't religious.

Didn't attend the synagogue. Okay. Cities, 2% Jewish, that'll go down pretty soon. Young Einstein, very slow to say. Young Einstein was a great movie. We can all agree Yahoo Sirius was fantastic in it. And is that where you're headed? Yeah, this is about young Einstein.

Yeah, who serious the movie? It was a great movie. Yeah He doesn't start talking till he's two Interesting. He's probably just sitting there like what do I want my first first to be Yeah, so you need to be epic. They would be good And it was me, Mr. Man. This is your first word. No, no, this is a, no, this is an internal monologue. Now I would speak my first words.

Okay. Oh, this is wild. What a time. That's your first. My goal in life is to have the craziest hair possible. So, so he would often, when he did start to talk, he would often whisper his words to himself, practicing what he was gonna say, Often, when he did start to talk, he would often whisper his words to himself, practicing what he was going to say, which would cause the family to call him the dopey one.

Man, how great would it be to just, you know, like pop in every now and then to watch baby Einstein and be like, man, this kid is like, he's whispered because he's like calculated. It's like, I must make sure that's Papa understands what I'm trying to say. I've odd for supper. Oh look at this stupid hello Dobby. I am odd job town. I feel like I deserve cake for supper. Oh this one is stupid. Here's a Dobby boy. Dad, five of you talked to your boy like that. It's a weird way to talk to my son.

It's bordering on how to talk to his dad. It's in the household. Oh my god. So he also played quiet games and liked being on his own. So the nanny started calling him father-bore. Father-bore. So everyone was just like boy boy this kid's off. Which he was. Yeah, and also incredibly mean on top of it. Yeah, right. There's that

brutal. They're being rude to this child. They're like, God, cheese. What's up, little dud? This is our other son, dud. Ah, hello. I actually am just sort of, I'm passive more than anything, but, dud, go to your room. It's the one upstairs. So, young eyesight also through temper tantrums. I think it's Maya, Maya,

and it's Maya in English or Spanish, but MAJA, one of the J's pronounced in German. I probably should have looked it up. I bet it's not. Quote, Maya said, quote, his face would turn completely yellow. The tip of his nose, white, snow white, and he was no longer in control of himself. What? I'm sorry.

I'm going to flag Maya's description of what happened to Einstein. He had temper tantrums. The tip of his nose would go white and the rest of his face would turn yellow. So maybe she doesn't know what she. He's I think that she's suggesting he's doing what doctors call lumpaing. Yes. And I did. I'm flagging it. Okay. He would just sit there and loop out. Except the nose. The nose would be white, but the rest would loop. Get his loop on. He threw a chair. He threw a chair

in a teacher when he was five. He would normally hit his sister on the head. One day when he was five, he would not really hit his sister on the head. One day, when he was sick, his father brought him a compass, and he found it very mysterious how the needle moved as if it was being pulled, and then he was drawn in to discovering the forces of nature. Our stories are so similar. I had no idea how much I had in common with him. That is so similar. That's me now when I get a compass. Oh yeah, you stare at it. And you're like, I go, what? And then I just kind of, I spin until I get dizzy. Because a compass is a watch with letters,

but not all of them. It's not. It's not at all. Well, it's not at all what it is. To each their own. I think that's what's great about a compass. It's up for debate. So Einstein loved music. He hated music lessons. Albert went to Catholic school, even though he was the only Jewish kid he did really well in religious studies. That's a bit strange, isn't it?

Well, it is strange, but also like, like I was not and I wasn't I wasn't Catholic I just gonna do it because that was the best school like you just sometimes you're like oh that's a better school. Hey short a short a skirt. Am I right? Come on bow to brother give me a fist bump. No I'm not gonna pound it. Come on. Come on. I'm not fist bumping anything. Hold on a second I got to make a call. Residence in room 919, please. At 9 he switched to a math and science school. They had a Jewish religious teacher and Einstein started to practice his faith. Okay. So he's eating kosher. He's obeying the Sabbath. His family hates it. They're like, what are you doing?

So his Jewish family when he starts to be a Jew're like, what are you doing? So his Jewish family, when he starts to be a Jew, is like, oh, buddy, a Jew, enough. Here we go. What about internal hatred, son? Papa did a rabbi blessed his pork. Oh, here'd be fuck yeah, okay. Jesus, this day, died. Just eat your ham. I mean, they're like many, you know, non-practicing Jewish families, but if you bring in like doing stuff on the Sabbath and eating kosher food, the people are like, oh, Jesus, really. Right.

So, yeah, I get it. So contrary to legend, Albert was often the top of his class in math. At 12, he jumped ahead and learned algebra and geometry on his own. Really is your story, isn't it? I'm trying to not overly jump in because it's like very strange. It's very strange. Yeah.

It's a little, I'm wondering if this is even true or if you're just trying to like get me. Yeah, no, like, it's not any per-fools. It's, it's, it's, I know, that's what's so crazy. But I want, yeah, okay, like it's not any per fulls. It's I know that's what's so crazy, but I want yeah, okay keep going He tried to prove theories on his own like the Pythagorean triangle theory rather than learning previously established proofs Mm-hmm his rejection of authority does not go well at school and when a teacher him kicked him out of class for insulin Albert said, quote, yes, that is true, but you

sit there in the back row and smile. And your mere presence here spoils the rest of the class for me. The teacher sat in the back? Yeah, that's a weird one. But maybe when the student is doing something at the board, the teacher said sure, OK, or maybe it's just a terrible way to teach. Yeah. Yeah. I always find, again, I mean, I was an amazing student, but I always found that the ability to see this stuff was helpful. Yeah, sometimes. In 1894, his father's company goes bust. So they moved to Northern Italy, and Albert said he'd never return to Germany, and he renounced his citizenship.

If he had stayed another year, he would have had to join the army. Oh my god. At 16 he wrote, yeah, terrible. At 15 or 16 you have to join the whatever. So at 16 he wrote his first essay on theoretical physics, on the investigation of the state of the ether in a magnetic field. This is eerie. This is eerie.

Yeah, it is. It's just so similar. He hoped to be accepted into the Zurich Polytechnic College two years early. He was allowed to take the entrance exam and he passed the math and science section, but he failed the general, the French suology botany politics sure so as a teen he had quote masculine good looks of the type that played havoc in the turn of the century wow

that's the that's something i never really pictured is that and i'm starting to sexy yeah fuckboy and sign is a movie on me sure it is that Alistair was sexy. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck boy Alistair is a movie on me. That's good. You can get Yahoo serious. He's available.

So he, this is his quote about himself. Nice. 1.76 meters tall with broad shoulders and a slight stoop. Complexion is light brown. A garish black mustache sprouts above his large and sensual mouth. His nose is rather aqueon, aqueon, aqueon, whatever. The very brown eyes radiate depth and softness.

The voice is captivating like a vibrating cello. Wow. So he likes set up a bumble profile. Yeah. It's very, also, garish. I feel like very close to what you called me earlier. That is, I don't think you're allowed to describe your own mouth as sensual. I think that's pretty much a...

A realy-maw. I have a naughty, a naughty powder mouth. What's that? That's bad to hear What's that bad to hear? That's bad to hear. The powder part, I guess, is what I'm really sort of struggling with. The naughty part is what you're not. Do you mean powder? Do you really mean powder?

No, powder, like powder. Oh, powder, I thought you said powder. No, I got a naughty powder. Yeah, it's sometimes it gets powdered. That's just unsettling and nobody's like nobody's happy. So he stays with a family in Switzerland for a bit and he falls in love with the daughter Marie who is two years older. Two years older. At 17, Albert had enrolled in Zurich Polytechnic. He liked physics professor, her Weber. So is that Mr. Weber? Yeah, he invented the barbecue.

We'll get to that. That's what this is actually about. I interesting. He said, quote, you're a very clever boy, Einstein, and extremely clever boy, but you have one great fault. You'll never let yourself be told anything. It must be so hard to be smarter than everyone else because you're just like, right, no,

I don't like all this stuff because you're like a bug to me. It's so funny to hear someone use the name Einstein before we knew because you're just like, right. No, it's it. Yeah. You're not a genius Einstein. Like, you're not here be like, well, no shit Einstein. The other physics professor hated Albert. He failed him in physical exam experiments for beginners. So that's where people probably get the thing that he was bad in school. So that that is a thing I didn't know that. And it's also when you talk probably get the thing that he was bad in school. So that is a thing, I didn't know that.

And it's also when you talk about the other classes that he was bad in, it's sort of like he, you know, he was amazing at something. So he was probably just like, yeah. It was amazing, you know, what I want to do. Yeah. Albert often didn't go and was given an official warning by the school director.

And when he came to class, he refused to do the experiment the way the teacher told him to. So he was trying to figure out a different way to do it, a better way to do it. So in July 1899, quote, he caused an explosion in the lab that severely damaged his right hand and required him to go to the clinic for stitches. Oh, shit.

So he didn't do it. That's why you do it the way they want you to do it. Yeah right. Otherwise you get a powder mouth. Well that I paid for. What? That's surgery. What? He couldn't write or play the violin for weeks. Which is just relatable. When I went which is just relatable. When I went, go ahead, I just, I could do this over and over again. Yeah, yeah. So things began to falter with Marie. He had been mailing her his laundry to wash. Yep.

And that, yeah, go ahead. So I wanted, I'll wait until you're done, but yeah, that's, yep. How you do sometimes he wouldn't, he wouldn't include a note or a thank you. Yeah, right. Yeah. Yeah, it's so it's like when you do those. Yeah, it's like when you you you just I mean one of those things called where you you can just you just they send you sampling outfits It's just like one of those she was probably like oh cool. Oh wait these all smell like mildew Yeah She was thrilled when he said he was gonna visit quote I don't have to tell you

I will be counting the minutes until that time and then he broke up with her That's tough to To keep down. You got to wait until the clothes come back before you pull that move, by the way. Yeah. He probably was wearing his laundry day outfit for like six weeks in that time to like way. He was probably like laundry, laundry months. I would quickly fall in love with the only woman in his physics class.

Malayva Maureque. She's 21, she's Serbian. She got into the university on her first attempt, one of only 20 women in 1896. She's the only one in the physics and math department. She has had a limp since birth, which affected her confidence a lot. Sure.

Albert pursues her for a year. She's a little shy. And by 1898 there in love, she grew up expecting no one is going to love her because of her lip. That's what she thought. She thought she'd just be an unloved, smart person. Sure. Right.

It's tough. But then you meet someone with a sensual mouth and you're like, oof. They wrote long love letters to each other. Albert quote, how lucky I am to have found in you a creature who is my equal, who is as strong and independent as I am myself. We understand each other's dark souls so well and also drinking coffee and eating sausages etc. Included are eight pairs of dirty socks, my soiled underpants, five shirts, two pairs of pants, and two jackets which I would like air-dried.

Malabra wrote, quote, Professor Lenard is talking about the kinetic energy of heat and gases, so maybe they're are different levels. Oh, I can't get that back. My love has written me a note back. It's time. Oh, I shall go to my room and I shall read this out the window with a nice breeze upon myself. I shall pour myself a nice espresso just to sit here and really save at a moment.

Here we are. The Lord is teaching about guesses Okay, he called her he called her my wild little rascal and my street urchin By the way the new name for you my street urchin. Yep street urchin by the way the new name for you my street urchin yep she called him my wicked little sweetheart he would reference his ex-marie and letters quote I know if I saw her a few more times I would certainly go mad of that I am certain I feel it like fire wait he's saying that about his ex yeah I hope he's saying mad angry is opposed to like man, I like one last time with that. Look, if I were to run into her,

I'd bang a five more times, but then I'd come back to you. Ah! Like a flame, fucking, like I'm hot! I would just bang her. Look, I know you didn't ask, but if I were to run into my ex, God, I would just freak out sexually. So people are shocked that Albert is going out with Malayevam.

A friend said, quote, I would never be brave enough to marry a woman unless she were absolutely healthy. Albert said, quote, but she has a very lovely voice. I am obviously team Albert. I mean, I know, but it's not great. Yeah. Does he even say like, no, that doesn't matter. He's a man. He's a man. Yeah, but she's a sweet talker.

She has a voice that compensates for the gimpie leg. So Albert's mom, Paulina, she loved Marie. She's very suspicious of Malayva. He told her his parents are going to come around and they'll like her, but they don't come around. He wrote her quote, again and again, they complain that I have brought misfortune upon myself by my devotion to you.

Why would you? Why would you write that to her? My parents think you are shit and going to kill me slowly. Have you ever had, did you ever have your parents not like a girlfriend you were going out with? No, I don't. I had that and the way that I would have to sort of defend the, I would have, no, she loves you. She does. She likes you, not her. She's got a fuck.

Just be like, I didn't love the way she talks to you. I'd be like, I don't either, you know. Your mom not like me. What? My mom not like you? She loves you. Well, I think the differences between your girlfriends and this one is that his parents did like her because she was two years older and had a limp.

This limp is real. It's amazing that she was two years older and had a limp. It's just this limp is real. It's amazing that she was pretty much right. Like, she, Malayva is the one who's probably accurate with the idea of like, I will go on love forever because of my limp. Like everyone's like, you should have. She should have. I have reading old newspapers.

I've come across articles. Like some people think that Hitler started the whole blue eyes blonde thing, but he didn't it's it's mattered throughout papers of life right you know awesome human beings what we want to achieve it's it's in it's already in this society and that's over yeah that's gone we're not doing that anymore that ended yeah so Albert's always coming up with big ideas, spousing new theories. And Malayba is very logical and pramatic. She's a perfect sounding board for him. It's kind of debated how much she contributed to his work as a partner and editor or

researcher. So in 1901 he wrote, quote, how happy and proud I will be when the two of us together will have brought our work on the relative motion to a victorious conclusion. So, it's our work there. He goes on to Tim Milan and he gave, quote, our paper to a university professor, but he only put his name on it. Wow.

It's up to a point, yeah? Wow, that's wild. That's wild. That's like if I, if I like showed people this podcast, and I was like, you've got to listen to my research. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Gotta hear it. So they get the two, they get the two Lewis grades

in the class on their final essays four and five out of five students. She doesn't pass the course, so she's gonna have to take it again. Albert can't get a job. He tried his old university, the both of his physics professors there, don't like him. So he graduates and he plans to marry Malayva. His mom, quote, through herself on the bed, buried her head in a pillow and cried like a child. Oh my God. Paulina said, quote, when you are 30, she will be an old hag.

She's 32. She is 32. That is, I mean, this is wild shit. This is the wild shit. She'll be an old hag. Her parents were, quote, happy. This is the wild shit. She'll be an old hag. Her parents were quote, happy. This is great. Her parents, now you're gonna know where it all comes from.

Her parents were quote, happy that a beautiful man had fallen in love with her daughter who had such an ugly defect. Oh. La la la la la. Wow. I mean, you know, the way we treat disabled people is obviously still not great, but we have me.

So, we have gone. Yeah, yes. Yes, for now. Again, I'm not sure what's going to hold any longer, but. What they didn't tell their families was, Malayva was pregnant. Ah-ha! Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Gareth. was, Malayva was pregnant. Ah ha! Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif, yes, this is the same guy.

I listen, I have a new podcast called, We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend, Jake Johnson. It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now.

So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it. But either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. I have finished in her party mouse. That's not how you make a baby. Yes, I did it. I let go of you make a baby. I let a rip.

So centrifugal force of my load was 2.2 kilometers per hour. There's nothing enjoyable about anything that you said. No one wants no one wants to hear you talk. Malayva, don't let it scream up you. Let's weigh it. Jesus Christ. Sorry, I'm sorry. So Albert fantasize about their future together. Quote, can you imagine how pleasant it will be when we're able to work again, completely understood, with no one around to tell us what to do? And you're like, they're having a kid. So I know if you're aware of what's happening,

but that's not what's happening. Finally, my life will be mine, Stein. And something comes in and screams, because I can't have a noodle. Why is this child speaking in the first two years? I don't know. This is a nightmare. How do we come up with a serum to reverse a pregnancy

once it's outside the body? Oh, shit. You're not as smart as we. Is it too late to turn him back into a zygote? Yes. Zerick is the center of a burgeoning birth control industry, which included a male or abortion drug. So she could have terminated.

Wow. So that's a possibility. He really is saying that in a way to get rid of the kid. No, I don't think he is. I think he is excited. I think he just doesn't notice him what parenthood is. This guy, it's a blind spot. It's a little like when we learned about Darwin and Darwin sounded like Homer Simpson. I mean, he's not like that, but it's sort of like Albert, you know what babies are, right? Yeah, totally.

And also, having a baby out of wedlock, pre-med sex and serving culture is really extreme. Actually, a lot of women can't suicide. It's a thing. So she probably, I would assume, thought about terminating, but she didn't. Albert now really needs a job. He said they should move in together, and then they go on a summer vacation with his mom, and Malayba is stuck in bed.

She's very sick, it's a difficult pregnancy. She fails her course again, and it's getting really impossible for her to hide the fact that she's pregnant. Albert's mom was probably just like, what did I tell you? She's sickly. I see, she's a trouble.

The limp is spreading. The limp is spreading. So Albert Mewal is arguing with other physicists. He's writing to more established scientists to point out their mistakes. This doesn't go down well. He thought his old professor, Weber, was maybe giving him bad references

or bad mouthing him, or it could have been anti-Semitism, or it just could have been his behavior. Malayva goes to visit Serbia to tell her parents about the baby, and she wants Albert to come and meet the family for the first time, but he refuses to go. Smire, nice.

He gets a job at a private boarding school, about 54 kilometers from Zurich. So Malayva moves to a town close by so they can be together, but then he just starts standing up on their dates. So is it worse to have a child out of wedlock or live together before being married? I would imagine it's both, but definitely premarital sex is the big frowned upon. But they just wouldn't live together.

She's like, I'll move nearby. Like they're going to be able to move. Yeah, she moved. Yeah, I know. It's just a feeling. It's always kind of been a dude's world, honey Dave. Yeah, but you have very much. So she just gives up and goes back to Serbia.

She's like this, and he's not paying attention to me. So the Stringles for about a year, Albert finally gets a high paying government job in Bern, Switzerland, and he tells Malayva they need to figure out what to do with the baby. He hoped the child could come live with them, but it would be almost impossible for Malayba to join him as they're not married, let alone having this bastard child situation. Strange. Seems like if they just got married, this wouldn't be an issue, but... Yeah, yes, yes.

Yeah, there is an answer. Yes. Yes. Yes, yes, yes. And now she has the baby, a girl named Lissurl, Yes. Yes. There is an answer. Yes. Dolls. Yes. Dolls. Yes.

Yes. Dolls. Yes. And now she has the baby, a girl named Lissurl. Lissurl. Okay. Albert wrote quote, what are her eyes like? Which one of us does she more resemble?

She must be completely bald. Oh, I love her so much. And I don't even know her yet. He closed her two shirts and three pairs of pants. They're filthy. Ha ha ha ha ha. Still, he didn't visit. And they never registered. Describe her to me.

Just baby, baby like it. Just don't be like it. Oh my God, like a baby. Yeah, that's the thing. Oh, I can just picture her. I can picture her. I can picture her. She's sitting on her mom's lap and there's no data around.

That's the picture. Ah, I just love that image forever. That should be the image forever. Please let me know what every follicle looks like. I must be included in this. It matters so much to me. She's my world. She's my everything. Ah. Okay, so her follicles to me. She's my world, she's my everything.

Okay, so her follicles are all sitting alone with my dad, like on a blanket or a couch, she's sitting there with nobody. Her mom is cooking. Dad's nowhere to be found. They leave the mother out of this, describe her features to me and don't spend any detail for she means literally everything to me. She's my life, she's my existence, she's my world complete. Well there's a frown because there's no dad, so she's always has a frown on her face. Does the frown have any little baby wriggles around it? Does she have fat under her face? Oh, her arms, chubby. Does she resemble the Michelin men? Please spare nothing for I must know all. As her father she completes the circle that is Albert Einstein. Pauline wrote a friend quote, this Miss Marieke is causing me the bitterest hours of my life.

If it were in my power I would make every possible effort to banish her from our horizon. I really dislike her. So the mother lost a little problem. Do you think that's a frosty relationship? Is that it? Is it a little bit like you think that relationship is like that? It's slightly unfriendly. Yeah. You do. Okay. Because I'm taking it as it's not great, but I don't know if that's sort of me just,

you know, you can read between the words, you know what I mean? There's definitely something there that's negative. Okay. So Albert is working at the patent office in Bern. He said he's very, very busy. He started doing his office work quickly, so he would have more time to do his creative scientific thought, right? That's like his hobby, like I guess.

So yeah, right. And among like his hobby, like I guess. So yeah, right. And among his hobbies, not raising a daughter. Maleva goes to burn that summer and leaves the baby in Serbia. She had a case of the Alberts. So clearly, she's, whatever she's saying these letters, clearly he's not into it at all. Yeah. Or she even it at all. Yeah. Right?

Or she even brought the baby. Yes. So things seem pretty rocky. He wrote, quote, you cannot imagine. Outtenderly, I think of you whenever we are not together, even though I'm always such a mean fellow, what I am with you. Do you do shoes? I put them in.

Can you polish? It's the, did you ever watch Taxi? It's the episode in Taxi where taxi? It's the, the episode in taxi where Danny Davido, that woman's like the only way I can love you is if you are not here. Right. In January 6, 1903, they get married. Oh wow. No family there. Couple of friends. What? It feels like momentum's not with them. And she, remember, she's brilliant, right? She's going to dessert.

She's going to dessert, polytechnic. She's, but she now becomes a wife and homemaker. Okay. She was permitted to go to his intellectual discussion evenings, but just to listen, not to contribute. She's there to hear it. Malave a quote, my new duties are taking their toll. So Lisa Llew-Serl gets Scarlett Fever in August and Malave goes to Serbia to be with her.

In September, Albert wrote quote, three and a half weeks have already passed. And a good little wife should not be away from a man for any longer than that. But our place still does not look nearly as terrible as you may think. You will quickly put it in order again. Wow. Did you remember the daughter? I mean, this is 1903. So anybody who's thinking it's the time, it's not the time.

There's plenty of fucking people who are like, I mean, obviously society is like women can't work, but there's still plenty of people that like treat you like a human. But also the daughter. She's like, she's not being mentioned at all. The daughter has scarlet fever and he's like, well, okay, I guess these pain cakes will just flip themselves. Plus, he's basically just saying, I need someone here to fucking clean. Yeah, right. And by the way, that ad I've used on Craigslist, so I'm not even against that policy. It just seems strange in this situation to have it. Yeah, it does work. Tradwife. So no one knows what happened to Lee

Serial after September 1903. She's either adopted or she may have died. He never publicly recognizes her existence again. She's never mentioned again. She's not even listed as a child on his wiki page. She's just gone. child on his wiki page. She's just gone. What? In May 1904, Muleva has another baby, Hans Albert. Okay. Well, this one has been born in wedlock so he can stay, I guess.

Right. Between March and June 1905, Einstein wrote a frenzy of physics papers presenting brand new ideas. He wrote a good friend quote, so what are you up to? You frozen whale, you dried smoked canned piece of soul. Why if you still not sent me your dissertation? Don't you know that I am one of the 1.5 fellows who would read it with interest and pleasure. You wretched man. I promise you four papers in return. People don't know that he was the roast physicist.

He was a big, he would like, the people don't know that about Einstein. He was a big roaster. He was really, he was not afraid to go at you with the flounder put down or the grouper stuff. He was always ready to go. Always ready. Yeah. So the four papers he was promising were one, the very radical idea that light was made up of discrete particles as gas and matter are.

Sure. Two, a dissertation that tried to quantify how many molecules are in gas. Mm-hmm, yep, right? Five. Three on the Brownian motion. I don't know how to go into it with you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And four special theory of relativity. Yep, which is a big one. The best, the hit. That's the hit. That's his Sergeant Pepper. Yes, one. That's the head. That's the head. That's his Sergeant Pepper. Yes, yeah. That's indeed. So he explained that the fundamental laws of physics are the same, whatever your state of motion. Imagine a man in an airplane at home and a woman in an airplane, each can pour a cup of coffee, bounce a ball, shine a flashlight, the same laws of physics apply. Yeah, motion is relative to other things

and time is relative as well. So you could witness two simultaneous lighting strikes, but if you're closer to one than the other, the closer one will appear to happen first, light is a constant speed motion and time are relative. Blah, blah, blah. It's so funny how this stuff is all like you now just know it, but it's worth it. I was just gonna say, it, blah, blah. It's so funny how this stuff is all like you now just know it, but it's what it's like.

I was just gonna say it's like, go. Yeah, because we've all learned that from him. Anyway. So Malayba edits and checks his articles. They celebrated its completion by getting drunk. Nice. After the writing theorizing spree, he just crashes, he's sick and bad for two weeks.

I've done that. When you go through one of your big... I've done that. We call them brain parties, is what we call them. But yeah, what is? It's a brain dump. And when I actually really do have one, and I do finish a paper, I crash. Hard.

Yeah. Yeah. He sent the journal and addendums of months later, stating mass and energy are different manifestations of the same thing. So I don't have to thought. By the way, mass and energy are the same thing. Can you toss that in there? Oh, shit.

Oh, I got waking up. It's just like a Catholic in a hero. What do you wait? When she wakes up, a Catholic in a hero, when she wakes up, realizing she leaves left her son at home. Wait a minute. They're all the same thing. I must let them know.

He rewrote this formula as e equals mc squared. It's the big one. Energy equals mass times the speed of light squared. It is a hit. It's a big hit. He's hoping that, he's hoping this publication and theorizing are going to get him a better academic job. His sister wrote quote, he was bitterly disappointed. I see silence followed.

Yep. He's Jewish. Is that it? At the end of the day, yeah. A few eminent physicists took note, however, and the next year other scientists start building on his ideas. Other scientists, however, are dismissive, saying his theoretical approach was to Jewish. You know, and can I just be the one to jump in here and say, you're not allowed to say that anymore? And I just always think that that's also making a comeback. It's a truth. How do I put this out there?

It's just you've gone for Jew. Yeah, I get it. I get what you're trying to say about mass and energy and Different manifestations of the same thing, but it's very jui You you because emcee squared your theories equal pretty Jewish That's what we're putting in the official report So in 1906 he cranks out six more papers, 10 in 1907, while all I was working full time in the patent office, he applies for a like lowly academic position at the University of Bern,

but he's expected to include new unpublished ideas in the application, and he thinks, well, my 14 published papers are going to be enough. So he includes them, only one faculty member agreed, but that he doesn't get the job. Wow. Jesus. It's pretty crazy, like it's just one of those weird, but again, you can't say that's not, this could be anti-Semitism, right? You can't at this point.

The fact that his theory relativity doesn't include the theory of gravity bothers him, as it would any of us. Then one day at his job, he suddenly thought, if a person falls freely, he will not feel his own weight. And he would call this the happiest thought of his life. Okay, do you imagine just one day thinking that? That's like me when I think of like a pun for standup. I'm like, oh, that's good. But he's like, a little more resonance. And if I think of a pun for standup, I think,

oh, that's bad. Dave. Why would I think that? Dave jokes are jokes are hard jokes. Hard jokes. The it's crimes are crime. Hard jokes. You know that puts asses and seats, but he he's still he cannot get a job in academia. Still. And he lowers himself and he applies to be a high school teacher. That's a show. This guy has just come his application and he's accepted in 1908. Okay. But the pay is so bad he has to keep working at the patent office and he lectures at odd hours, 7 a.m. on Tuesdays and Saturdays.

Only three of his friends start coming to the lectures months later and actual student comes. It's a bringer than his friend's stop coming. So he's lecturing to just one person, so he just stops. Zurich Polytechnic creates an associate of professorship in theoretical physics. And the director goes to burn to meet Albert and see him teach, and he's not impressed.

He says Albert is a long way off. Also, there was a faculty report, quote, okay. Here, Dr. Einstein is an Israeli light. And since precisely to the Israeli lights, among scholars are inscribed, in numerous cases, not entirely without cause, all kinds of unpleasant peculiarities and character

such as intrusiveness, impudence, and a shopkeeper's mentality in the perception of their academic position. Just straight up saying, I mean Jewish people cannot be there. They cannot be academics The there's so much on there, but a shopkeeper's mentality fucking bananas God they do not say all Jews were like yeah And they and even that non-Jews could be annoying

Jews were like that. And even that non-Jews could be annoying. So it's not a dot that is anti-Semitic policy, but they're like, look, this is what's going on with this guy. So it's anti-Semitism at the individual, but not official school policy. But it is official school policy. If they're pointing it at the the you know that mean you know it did i guess i'm very uh... very much a line with you uh... it that's it what a weird caveat should be that yeah that are the annoying

people are annoying non-juice we uh... yes we accept that since since non-juice that's like the theory i've come up with the non-ju-annoying theory Four years after publishing his special special theory of relatively relativity Albert was finally offered a professorship quote So now I am To an official member of the guild of horrors Wow By the way, I mean you get you got to see them live. So good life. One of the better

live fans, Studio albums, Guild of Words Studio albums has been good, but I saw them in Lamb of God. And great, great. That's that, that opening for lamb a god was the best that is so good shout out life I bet I bet you a hundred bucks. There is a guilty horse band. I bet you anything there is now Yeah, it's gonna be Luke and I So his appointment was printed in the paper which Led to a woman he met ten years before contacting him which led to a woman he met 10 years before contacting him,

their letters became very flirtatious and suggestive, and then Malayva intercepts one and writes to the woman's husband and says Albert is outraged by his wife's inappropriate behavior. But he was responding and kind. Wait, Albert, say what you just said again, she intercepts that she sends a letter to the husband of the woman that he's sending letters to. It says Albert's offended by her behavior. Oh, Albert is offended by the dude's wife.

Yeah, but let's just Malayva saying that because he's a father of the Shantar. Right, yeah. Yeah, he's's just Malayva saying that because he's in there. Yeah, he's sending her socks. So they go to Zurich, he's now a junior professor. Malayva is pregnant again. He would lecture on a piece of paper with scribbles, as opposed to just a big thing in notes like everybody else. And then he'd add to it as he went along. And he allows questions, he allows interruptions,

which is very rare at the time. He thinks visually, even if he's looking after his kids, they do not get his full attention. His focus is on his work while he's anywhere. Okay. Six months after moving back to Zerak, he's offered a job in Prague. Fifteen of his students started petition, urging the university Zerak to do what they

can to keep him. So they offered to increase his salary from 4,500 francs to 5,500. But Prague offers to double it. Malayba does not want to move. Quote, I am not going there gladly and I expect very little pleasure. It seems like you can see that I know a lot of places. That's me going to a party. I would also say that I'm better marriage to Albert. Essentially. It seems like none of it was ever like, it's because maybe she had such a low bar set because of her fucking limp That she's like whatever this is as good as it gets

Yeah, right, right, but yes, that is completely describes me for a party too In October 1911 Albert was asked to present on the quantum problem at an elite physics conference Marie Curie was there so there is a fure around an affair that on the quantum problem at an elite physics conference. Marie Curie was there. So there is a fure around an affair that she is having with another scientist. Gotta be careful when you're talking about a German story and using the term fure and fur. It's just...

Fure or? Yeah. I can hear it. Sometimes I just hear a fure. So she's just... Yeah. I can hear it. Sometimes I just hear a fewer. So she's having this affair. It's a big, it's a big scuttle butt. But Albert publicly stands up for her. But then privately wrote, quote, despite her passionate nature, she is not attractive enough to represent a danger to anyone.

She's so cool. All right, two things. First of all, he's doing that probably defending her because he's found himself in hot water for being kind of a bit adulterous. And then obviously the second part, just, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just just yeah, yeah, yeah So Albert Albert travels around Europe. Malayva is stuck in Prague, which she hates

So she becomes very depressed sure a family friend and Albert decide It was from a genetic disposition to skits of Frania. Yeah. Instead of being stuck alone in an apartment, that's what I was going to say to those stimulation. It's not schizophrenia. That's not schizophrenia. Absolutely. Yeah, no, it's clearly because her family has... Yeah, because she was normal in the last place.

So it's definitely not schizophrenia. Yeah, that's why it's said to a place where she doesn't know anybody, and she hates and not what her problem is. She probably... It's schizophrenia. She probably caught it from someone. Yeah. While Albertian Belin, he meets his first cousin Elsa.

She was, okay, she is a first cousin on both sides. Her mother was his mother's sister. Her father was Albert's father's cousin. Wow, so they were... Double cousin. Yeah, that's right. And that is... That is hot.

The old double cousin. Yeah, that's... That's... There's a lot of porn, double cousin. I've started talking about it and stand up about the... The porn is now getting very close to, you know what I mean, it's not great. It's step, it's step porn.

It's step. We're doing step now and I'm worried that in five years we're going to be like, do we need the step? It's going. Yeah. So Elsa is divorced. She has two teenage daughters, Marguine Elise. She's the opposite of Malayva. She's homely. She's domestic. She's not intellectual.

Is homely is not a bad term? I think it is a bad term. Okay. That's how she was described. So in letters she teases him. She calls him henpecked by Malayva. Yeah, unattractive is homely in North America. Oh, but then it's not it's not in Britain. So it probably means yes, more of a home body. I would quote I categorically assure you that I consider myself a full-fledged male. Perhaps I will sometime have the opportunity to prove it to you. Wow. So he's a distantist. It's just me riding my double cousin. Yeah. Oh, shit. I forgot about that.

Yeah. Suddenly he wants to move to Berlin. Uh-oh. But they go back to Zurich in July 1912, when the lave as health has declined. Her depression deepened. She has rheumatism, which makes it very hard to go out in the cold.

Roomsis is really painful. I also want to say to Albert Happy Birthday and asked for a photo in a book recommendation about relativity. It's weird when you're a cousin that you might fuck is like, should we talk about relativity? Relative? Should we flirt over relativity, cousin? Albert said she wouldn't understand any books, and instead of a photo, come visit quote, if you ever happen to be in Zurich, then we, without my wife, who was unfortunately very

jealous, will take a nice walk. Have you heard of fingering by a river? I have this theory where the finger can be like zippiness. Albert was then offered three very impressive jobs. Elected to the Prussian Academy of Sciences, director of a new physics institute and professor at the University of Berlin. So he's getting his credit now the Prussian Academy of Sciences, director of a new physics institute and professor at the University of Berlin. So he's getting his credit now for being a smarty pants, right? Right.

And he's overcoming anti-Semitism by being too smart to reject, you know? Right. So each has a decent salary. And he had to accept German citizenship, but he could also keep his Swiss at the same time. So at 34, he's the youngest member of the Prussian Academy, and he writes Elsa, his marriage is falling apart.

She tells him to divorce Malayva, Albert quote, I treat my wife as an employee who might cannot fire. I have my own bedroom and avoid being alone with her. So that's hot. It's interesting that Malayva is... The slave is... Malayva's basic worry is fully realized now. God, I'm present, realized.

Absolutely. I can't imagine ever saying I treat my wife like an employee. It's completely... I avoid her at all costs Yeah Malayva did not want to move her Berlin She's not one Paulina lives there Paulina lives there. He hates she hates Paulina, right? Second Elsa lives there great Albert quote my wife whines to me and says in Lee about Berlin and her fear of the relatives

Well, there is some truth in this. Yeah. My mom is a total asshole. I do want to fuck my cousin. Yeah. It's a double cousin. She's really, really my major cousin and my mom. She's just so annoying and right.

So the Berlin move seems to be the nail in the coffin for their marriage, but they give it another shock for the kids. So Albert sends Malayva a list of demands for their marriage to continue. Yes, and by the way, that's okay to do. A lot of people think that you can't die hard, tear-risk your own marriage. You can. You can't. There's nothing wrong with sending your partner a list of your marital demands. It's fine to do. It's called being married.

Yeah. Okay. These are quotes and they're numbered. I can't believe we have Albert Einstein's list of demands to his wife. You will make sure, one, that my clothes and laundry are kept in good order. What is with this guy?

Did somebody not ever teach him how to do it He's like me and it's crazy He is one of those people who thinks he's too important to do laundry Who are these people? I don't know I'd laundry is I I am home for two days in between our tours. At no point have I felt too good to just, I mean, laundry is very easy. To that I will receive my three meals regularly in my room.

My God. What, what do you ate? This is like being in a hotel. That's what he is describing. I, yeah, yes. This is like being in a hotel. That's what he is describing. Ah, yeah, yes. That my bedroom, sorry, this is three, that my bedroom and study are kept neat, and especially that my desk is left for my use only.

New category, new category. You will renounce all personal relations with me in so far as they are not completely necessary for social reasons specifically you will forego one My sitting at home with you Wow What is the point of even trying to do like he basically so basically so far the pitches you'll be my servant but I won't see you. Yeah 100% 100%

it's pretty good. My two my going out or traveling with you so here's my here's my, here's my marriage situation. No inside, no outside. So. So it's a bit of a tree falling in a woods. If you don't see your spouse ever, are you married? New category. Well, it's like the Oscars. You will obey the following points in your relations with me. Uh-huh.

One, you will not expect any intimacy from me nor will you reproach me in any way. Wow. The first one is the, it's, I wish we could see her reaction to reading this shit too. You will stop talking to me if I request it. God fucking Jesus Christ. What? To your wife. Imagine being halfway through to...

No, we're done. Stop. That's literally what is, he's saying in the middle of any conversation or anything. No, don't. He can just go. I think we're wrapping up school. See what the words. Now, Ova, leave.

Three. You will leave my bedroom or study immediately without protest if I request it. Wow. I mean, this is, I, I, let's just say, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, or study immediately without protest if I request it. Wow, I mean, this is, I, let's just say this, hats off to him for what is a go-for-it pitch. So if you're talking to me and I'm not into it, I can tell you to shut the fuck up. If you're in my room and I'm not into it, I can tell you to shut the fuck up.

If you're in my room and I'm not into it, I can tell you to leave. I want you to bring me three meals a day regularly. You do not touch my desk. Everything else you do touch and clean. Don't see me inside. Don't see me outside. Four. You will undertake not to belittle me in front of our children even if your

words or behavior. Okay, we finally found one that I'm like, yeah, you shouldn't do that. Like we found after the list after this list, it's like I have no choice. Yeah, right? Yeah, like you everything you said should be belittled. I need to let our kids know what not to become. And that is a list sending husband. This is one of the worst documents from a man to a woman in the history of the world. I'm pushing back.

This is his best work. Sure, he's done some great stuff. He realizes that it doesn't feel like your emotion if you fall off a building. That's big. That's bold. But the size of the balls to... What's...

Like, this would be like what a therapist tells you to do in therapy and then shred it. Well, we'll just do a fun exercise where you just, let's write out your evil version of you. Let's get your absolute terrible thoughts. If I want you to stop breathing, you will. Jesus, dude, it's just insane. I love that we get it.

She must have kept it and been like, hey, go, this is, here's your hero. Well, at first she accepts the demands. And then Albert reiterated, he would be a father but not a husband. And then she's like, the point. The point. The point, it's pointless. Yeah, she's like, this is then she's like what's the point they realize is it's pointless

yeah she's like this is just like this is dumb what's yeah what is the point yeah so they draft a separation agreement and Albert goes to stay with else's parents because that's his aunt So nobody would think, now, Cousin, Cousin, Porick and back then, it's got a, it's, no. No, I think it's fine back then, absolutely fine. Is it? Oh, we fuck yeah, the kings and queens are doing it. Like, this is like totally normal. 100% normal.

The day that they went back on the train, Albert cried the whole night. Oh, oh, back to Zurich. Back to Zurich. So the day he had to leave his aunt and uncles, which is also his parents. Oh, okay. He cried the whole night. So he's fucking Elsa. I mean, come on.

Oh, yeah. Right? Yes. Yes. The next day he visits his mom and she cheers him up. She's fucking thrilled about Malayba and Elsa. Oh, finally, you're setting into a normal relationship by porcing your cousin. Yes. In August 1914, World War I breaks out, and Albert's a pacifist, quote, at such times, one sees to what deplorable breed of brute we belong.

He's a pawn that scientists he admires, support the war. Some even changed their research to develop chemical weapons for the army. They're very into, I mean, the stuff they printed was like to preserve our culture, we have to kill, like, you know, it's fucking crazy. So nice. It's crazy and it hasn't happened since.

I just want to be clear. That's true. This was a bubble time. It was a bubble time. The only time, small time. Thank you. 93 intellectuals and peers published a document supporting German militarism.

And Albert is absolutely disgusted, and he writes a pacifist response, but could only get four supporters for his anti-war statement. So there's no other academics and intellectuals that are on board, they're all just like that. Yeah, they did. Doesn't that seem like an enormous problem, potentially our biggest problem in a way, is that whenever evil leaders are doing evil things,

they can change the story simply by manipulating the lead stories of the time to become about war and that if you are dissent that you are the enemy and that that's extremely effective. I have no idea what you're talking about. I was reading the, I mean I just was reading this thing a couple days ago about just that that George W. Bush is approval rating after 9-11 was 91% and Yeah, I was crazy and And if you were like are you sure that he's everyone was like, we'll get the fuck out

Yeah, it was pretty nuts. Good time to be alive. Yeah, yeah. So dying. His sons are begging him to visit, but he can't for months because of the war. And when he finally did get there in September, 1915, he only saw the boys twice in the three weeks he was there. He's dead. You got it?

Look, okay, how about this? Albert Einstein had the schedule he wanted to have, and that's impressive. He keeps working on his generalized theory of relativity by November 18, 1915. He had revised Newton's theory of gravity and the universe. I did that. I did that. I did that two different times. He presented to the Prussian Academy physicist John Wheeler explains, quote, matter tells

space time had a curve and curves space tells matter how to move. I, I'm not gonna get into the weeds on this one. I see, overall I agree. There are some tweaks I would make to that. Yeah, like. Well, I don't know, What do you define as a bend? Is my question. What is a bend?

Oh, yeah. I can't really get it to a bed right now. That's going to take too much time. Yeah. And I'm glad that I've never been happier to hear you talk when you said that. So this is a new way to view reality. Space and time are not separate forces,

but instead formed a fabric of space time. Yeah. So whatever, it's a big deal. In February, he begs Malayva for a divorce. At Easter, he goes to Zurich, and he's thrilled to hang out with his sons, and he wrote Malayva complimenting her parenting. Now remember, he's in town with her, and he writes her a letter to say she's been a good mom,

because these boys are good boys. Yeah, that's in town with her and he writes her a letter to say she's been a good mom because these boys are good boys. Yeah, that's cool. But when she tries to meet, to discuss the divorce, he declines. Yeah, well, did she not get the demands? Did she hit her head and forget? One of her sons is like, just pay her a courtesy visit. He refuses. So the boy's like, well, I'm'm not gonna see you until you go see

Demands he does he does not see his kid his kids again for the rest of the trip He's good. He's he's a good dad in the husband After Malayaba checks herself into a sanitarium Albert however doesn't believe it. Quote, isn't it possible nerves are behind it all? You have no idea of the natural craftiness of such a woman. His mother agreed with him. Weird, but she's always been the biggest defender of Malayba.

Malayba. biggest defender of Bolivia. Boliva. She has been, like this is, like so she's been through years of abuse. Yes. This is a woman who has been broken, not arrived broken. Yes. So you are in a society that views you as not a human if you have a limp. And she finally finds a guy who's like, no, I love you for what you are. And then that man proceeds to destroy her.

One would also think that being a Jewish physicist or a Jewish person at this time would kind of front load you with some sort of empathy towards this person. No! Yeah, no, yeah. In 1916, he published his theory of general relativity for the lay reader, so the common man.

So kind of like the paperback. Yes. So kind of like the paperback. Yes, he read it aloud to Elsa's daughter Margo to see if she understood and she said yes, but later on she told the friend it was totally baffling. Yeah, he met. What? She's like, no I got it, I totally got it. What the fuck? Yeah, that's cool.

Well, we're just getting started. Oh God. In 1917 Albert was having sterile stomach pains and a doctor diagnosed him with chronic stomach malady. Eating well at this time very difficult because the wartime food shortages, he loses 50 pounds. And then he moves into the same apartment building as Elsa's, right? So she can look after him.

So same building, different rooms. So she can look after him. Albert Youngest son is also sick. And he travels with the boy to a sanitarium. He wrote a friend, quote, the little one is very sickly and must go to a rosa for a year. My wife is also ailing worries and more worries. Nevertheless, I have found a nice generalization

of the Somerfeld Epstein quantum law. Man, he just, I mean, so I guess he's just kind of not fully capable of the love of a family man is what it sounds like. Yeah, it sounds like he's not great as a human. He's a genius when it comes to science and physics. He writes Malayba again about a divorce, offers to give her half when he wins the Nobel Prize. Which he sure he's gonna do. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna do this, so I'll give you half. Yeah, so she agrees to this.

Yeah, oh my God, she agrees this, because there's a lot of money. Sure. The divorce was finalized after World War I, So Bob is going to be. So she agrees to this. Yeah, Bob and God. She agrees this because it's a lot of money. Sure. The divorce was finalized after World War I on February 19th, 1914, 1919. One of the provisions in being granted a divorce was that he not remarried for two years. That's not Elsa. That's the court telling him that.

You can't do that. Four months later, he marries Elsa. I agree with that one. Bring that one back. I think you'd have to dig some time, but whatever. Yeah, but he does it in four months, which is cool. But it's also, I guess this is a little different

because he's known her a lot longer because it's his cousin. It's his cousin, double cousin, D-C. Like it was already in set, it's the double incest. They're doubling down on the incest. That's right. It feels like I'm fucking my mom's nephew and my dad's nephew. You know what I mean? You know, when I'm sleeping with you, it's not like I'm screwing my mother's sister's

daughter. It feels like it's my father's brother's cousin. Me too. Oh. That's the end of part one. Cool. I, again, I'm just like, I just, you're going to be surprised.

I did not know much about Einstein. Obviously, a lot of our science stuff that there's crossover. I just, you're gonna be surprised. I did not know much about Einstein. Obviously a lot of our science stuff that there's crossover. But yeah, drama, drama drama. Yeah, he's, I just remember reading little snippets of how horrific he was to women. I just, it's just really, it's like,

it's not kind of bad. It's fucking terrible. Like it's just really... Yeah, I mean... It's not kind of bad. It's fucking terrible. Like, it's terrible. Well, yeah, well, I guess it actually really depends on who he's interested in. Because it sounds like to Elsa, he was probably a good guy, but to...

Malayva... Horrible. Horrible, I mean. Well, Malayva, and, horrible, I mean. You know. Well, Malayva, and then the first one Marie, he's sending her his laundry, like he's not good. Yeah, no, he was so bad to Malayva, I'd forgotten about the first one.

Yeah, and now Elsa's more of a tradwife, right? So like she's more like, okay, this is what? This is what we are, I bake pies and make right she fit better right yeah Well, yeah, what is part what's part is part two? What are you feeling what are you feeling is on part two? It's different. It's what it's different. It's got a different. It's got a different It's kind of like the killbills Yeah, both watch by hated both those but yeah

What's wrong with it? There's one of the three movies a three one of three movies I walked out of my life I was the killbill one. Well, but you saw this I A horrendous horrendous film. I saw parts of it, but it was on once. I should watch it again, see what I think. All right, well, tune in next for this episode, first of all, Charlotte George did the research, which was awesome. Travel diaries from 1922 to 1923, issues in science and technology, Albert Einstein article 2005, Fred Jerome Einstein race and the myth of the cultural icon, British Shideller, the scientist as a moral authority,

Albert Einstein between Elysium and Democracy, Walter Isaacson Einstein, his life, and universe, the travel diaries of Albert Einstein, the Far East, Palestine, and Spain, Guardian, Einstein's travel diaries reveal shocking xenophobia, medium turns on Einstein was a call harder misogynist who attempted to control his wife's every move. Michelle Zachheim Einstein's daughter and that's it.