The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 594 - Lizzie Tabor - Live

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine 1800's beauty Lizzie Tabor. Recorded live in Boulder, Colorado. Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace

Oh sweet son of a bitch is that better. Oh, I was so lost without it. Dave was so mad he left. What the fuck is that, Baldur? We wanted to come out on time. That's our choice. We would rather retweet a picture of a possum We wanted to come out on time. That's our choice. We would rather retweet a picture of a possum just now, and a guy was like, get the fuck out here.

Quit tweeting possum pictures. But you guys were in line to buy booze. So what can we do? We wait. That's what we do. It's your fault. It's on you. It's on you. Yep. Never our fault. It's on you. It's never our fault. And if it's between Dave and I, it's never his fault. So the pattern is clear.

Never my fault. But yeah, thanks for coming out. Let's fucking party. Dave and I have prepared a hell of a story for you tonight. You're going to love this one. We work pretty hard. and a lot of people, shut the fuck up, a lot of people wonder if I ever know the subject and I do.

And Dave and I take about two, three weeks of intense rehearsal and we write the script and we find it together. And this one's a banger. We got some accents, we got some jaunts, we got a rhyme or two. And yes, there'll be some cuss words. Yeah, you just got to do that really quick, some changes

to some out. All right. Do you want to, do you want to ever hers it again? No, I just, should we go through the Q to Q? I just switched topics. You switched topics just now? Yeah. Well, the intense rehearsals that we went through is probably

that's not great. Well, you said you were acting like you knew everything so I switched topics I don't think you're allowed to do that You guys thank you for masking There's a surge right now even though they're not saying it but all the Testing says there is so If you didn't if you didn't get if you didn't wear a mask, some of you would be walking out of a COVID tonight.

Like we almost did on Saturday, we had a show. Friday. Friday. And then there goes after you've had it that many times. And the guy, the guy that's helping us out in the theater is like coughing and totally sick. And we had him in a mask, and we were in a mask. But then the day after, he's like, oh, fuck, I tested

I have COVID. We're like, yeah, no shit, fuck nuts. So we wouldn't be here if we weren't masking. So yeah, mask is good. It's good. He passed away. Also, you can commit crimes easier, a lot easier. Yeah, a lot. Listen to us. Easy. We live in the era of the electronic check out where you can wear masks.

You should be stealing a lot of stuff from Walmart, Target, Whole Foods, Vons, whatever your grosser is. Yeah. Constantly. You should always be stealing. Yeah. What you want to do is you want to have some stuff paid for and leave some stuff in the

bag. You steal. Yes. And you go, oh my God, I didn't realize that I had all that expense of olive oil at the bottom of that bag. Olive oil is a great thing to steal. It's very expensive. The Delipus brought to you in part by Squarespace.

Yes, Dave. Gareth, you ask me all the time what is Squarespace because you still don't know Squarespace. Yes, because my website is with it. And I'm like, what is it? It's an organization of family of mine. It's not. Gareth, what is it's a all in one?

Domains, websites, online stores, marketing tools, analytics. They do it all. And they're a band. And they're a band, and they're also a family that lives out in the prairie. Nice. So we, you and I, as you said, you have your website with Squarespace. Yeah. I have my website with Squarespace, and then the Chris, we have the website I do about

you with Squarespace. Which I don't know. Which I do. Yeah, I just found found out about that one so we got to check in on with that. It is scandalous. Okay and of course we have the dot podcast dot com sources and then we have our so so we're all in but they're in business with us because I guess they like us. I like them. They told me they thought I was kind of the sexier of the two. Well they've probably seen that side I run about you.

Interesting. So, is there, do you do analytics on there? Basically, it's so easy. I mean, you basically just go there and you can just get a website. Okay, so, I'm a little thrown off, actually, by the whole Squarespace.com, and there's a promo code. Yeah, so, yeah, which, what's on the website that you made of me the how would it score some start squarespace started in nineteen fifty six uh... right around the time uh... the

whole op-up timer stuff uh... squarespace is great because they have very easy templates it's very easy to use it's uh... they look great that's why for start using it because it's very easy to use, they look great, that's why I first started using it because they look snappy and crisp. So we recommend everybody use Squarespace and here's what you're going to do. You can go to squarespace.com slash dollop for a free trial and when you're ready to launch, use the offer code dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's the code you were talking about.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah, and it's new day, Anthony, ready to go.com. I don't know what's happening. You're listening to the dollop! Friend and shop. Got something here, T. I'm in English, we've got lots of stuff between our teeth. They have them down, I found a tooth in my tooth. You know, listen. May 5th, 1854.

You have our Lord. It's our boy. Woo! J.Town. Fuck it. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. That's right. No, no, no. No. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. This hasn't even started, and this may be our dumbest podcast. So he's surfing? Or is that longboarding? He was skateboarding.

Longboarding. Longboarding, he'd be laying down quite a bit also. But that could be longboarding, yeah. He was skateboarding. Say, skateboarding. Longboarding, he'd be laying down quite a bit also. But that could be longboarding, yeah. A lot of times they lay down when they're longboard. Elizabeth Nellis McCourt was born in Ashkosh, Wisconsin. Oh, yeah, dude. That's where they make the overalls. My mom says, I'm as cute as a leopardprechaun in my ash cash bagash pants. What the fuck just happened?

Did you really want to know? No, I guess. Anyway, 1929. So, Elizabeth Nellis McCourt was born in Oshkoshka, Wisconsin. Her parents were Irish Catholics. Since, she was the fourth of 11 kids who survived. The fourth of 11 kids who survived. So they were even going for more than 11. Yeah. So it was like 20.

Yeah, probably. Jesus. Lord. Oh, no, no, she can't. Christ. It's out. I don't feel him anymore. Her mom had the exact same name. It's believed due to confusion with the names that Elizabeth

changed her middle name to Nellis from Nellis to Bondul after a father bondul who was a missionary to them in Omini. Man, he's a friend of their parents. I was in college, we had a lot of bond duels, man. Go ahead. No, I want to hear her about this. Harvey, what? Move on.

What? Keep going. Her father was part on over clothing and tailor shop. They lived in a big house. They had a maid. Oshkoss was an up and coming lumber town. Oh, you're damn right. Yeah. Yeah. My mom says I'm as cute as a leprechaun in my house. I was going to stop the gosh pants. Oh, we saw it stop happening. Some point you're going to want to know why. It was a frontier town. Elizabeth

grew up around and she dug frontier men as they took their risks out there in the fucking wild. She liked that. She liked it. It was hot. Lizzie was nicknamed the Bell of Oshkosh when she grew into a hot teenager. She's hot. That's, that she was considered super hot.

Right. Teenager. At 16, she was considered super hot. Right. Teenager. At 16, she was 5'4", a little plump, which was the look at the time. I was at 2. Nobody gave, I was treated like an asshole. Nobody paid me any mind. Same exact outfit too. Yeah. She had very white teeth, a great smile. She was blonde. And her mother kept telling her she was super hot. You're so fucking sexy.

You're just a smoke show. Good, good. You know, I know you're a smoke show. Look at that picture they took you a few years ago. You're not fire. You can't take the frontiers when you burn up on their lumber. You are fork and sick, say, darling. Wood.

And I'm not just talking about the lumber. She was, her mom said she was so hot. She was so fucking hot. She should never have to work, and she should get all the things her mom missed out on. Yeah, that's right. Thank you, Big Burst doll, the children. Ha, ha, ha.

Her mom gave her no chores, except help with the younger kids, because she went lazy to retain the smooth skin on her hands and arms. You don't touch that! Yildring Koldarlin, no, you're perfect, you're not allowed to do that. That's for the toddlers. You stay there, we can't have you pruning.

Do the dishes, you little fuck. But I'm on leave, so I'm on leave, far, but her. Get out in the garden! I don't know. Put up the fence! It's 9 p.m. as if we know that. What? He a four? Well, all right. I don't know. You should be in charge of that. You're four. Okay. Get the fuck out to work. Oh boy. Oh dear. And then come back in and slowly wash Lizzy off. Darling, as your husband, I must say this is all taken a bit of a bizarre turn.

I thought. I thought I was her husband. We were out. No. I thought you were being never looked, a pint is. And all took it. It took a guaranteed turn when you said that. When you asked him to come in and wash her, nobody knew. That's the loin. All right, holes are down. Well, I bet her, but still a bit barnyard, isn't it? Yeah.

Just wait and you have a lay down. Whether you're the husband or the wife. Go have a keep. It's gonna be a weird night tonight. Every night's been weird so far, doesn't it? We're going to try and make another one and there's two fennas up here. Well thank God the kids are in those Ash Kashbagash. I am the mother and I say there is cute as a leopard cat. Oh boy. In the hands. Nothing. Nothing. Okay. So she said Lizzy could be anything she wanted and even become an actress. Her father was not as much down with all the pampering. He didn't like that his wife took Lizzy to the Harding Opera House or that she stayed up late

at night sewing eye-catching outfits for their daughter. What kind of kitchen? Eye-catching outfits. Oh, OK, wow. But instead of fighting with his wife, he just took long solo walks and stopped at the church to pray. Better. That's the better way to do it. I don't think she should be dressed like that.

Well, I don't think I'm up for having a discussion about it. I'll be back in four hours. All right. Peter was the owner of the first theater in Oshkosh called McCourt Hall. He saw it as a way to make money. Lizzie saw it as a way to watch people leading exciting actor lives. She's hanging around in the back, watching the actor. She's backstage. Yeah. Which we can tell you from experience is pretty wild. And if you don't want to, you have some hummus and carrots

stay out there. You don't want to see Luke drop something. That's true. That's very inside. That's true. Lizzie also hung around her dad's shop. And Rich guys would stop in all the time and they always complimented her looks.

Can I take all the toy dolls and then Jesus Christ, she's fucking, what is she, 16? No, she's 12. Oh man, in this time it's okay for me to look at her. That's right. Yeah, well, you know, when you made her 12, it actually did make it a little more difficult for me. It became a bit more precarious. She's hot, though, right? Yeah, I'll

be back in four or five years. Take another look at her. Can you never murder to like, well, but honestly, well, even in this time, I'm a little like, Jesus Christ. That's fucking nuts. 16. I feel like I could Mergenly get away with some comedy, but you really fucking that's a shackingly I you know what I probably I'm not gonna come back here to shop anymore. I really don't like the general vibe in here is super weird Fucking child, you know what I'm saying? You want to buy some panties? Oh my God, what in the hell?

Oh my God. So Lizzy just started to hang out in the shop. She didn't have any friends or age and then it's up spending your time around these older well off met. That's very strange. Yep. Oh, Kate. She went to dances and socials and theater

on caradrides and to yacht parties on Lake Winnebago. Yeah, that is the best hell of a lake. It's a nice one, right? Bull, beauty. Yeah. Take the old winning out there for the weekend. Yeah. Submerge it by a new one the following week.

Oh, it's a beautiful bed. Both Lizzie and her mother now thought anything was possible, landing a very rich husband or becoming that famous actress. Well, you've got two lovely options. Either fully depend on a man, or go for the business of hollow souls. You'll be fine. In the summer of 1874, two fires hit Oshkosh. They destroyed large parts of the city,

so the McCourt's lost their home and shop, and Peter got a new mortgage, and he rebuilt quickly. In 1875, an even larger fire hit Oshkosh, ticking out the very mortgage new shop, and the theater. You know, you're not allowed to yell fire in a crowded theater, but that night. Not that night either, everybody died. Yeah, I know.

I was like, no, for real, they're like, stop it, Sam. No, I'm serious. The nerve. So the town builds back. Once again, this time using brick. Nice. The McCortchop was rebuilt, but the building was now owned by the bank and Peter's deeply in debt, and so he's just taking a salary

as a clerk and tailor instead of as an owner. And the family's longstanding social standing plummets with their new poverty. Lizzie's down at her 20s, and things are looking pretty grim. Okay. She's still hot though. Still super hot. It's okay, you could do it because she's 20 now, but... LAUGHTER One day, she sees a man, a young man named William Harvey Doe. Hello. What's up?

LAUGHTER Hello. Yeah, what are you getting in door there, huh? What's up? Hey, what? You're fucking hurt me. I didn't. That's why I said what? I'm gonna need you to step away from someone at a wood housing, over yonder. Why is it too hot?

I think you'll burn it down, you're over 12, right? Yes. Yeah, okay. You're like, how old, what's your age? I'm 20, but I'm fucking hot. Yeah. So I'm teching a boy. Crazy hot.

Yeah. My mom says, I'm really hot. That's kind of strange, honestly, but she says, look at this hot piece of ass. All right, that's your biological mother? Yeah, she wants... It's kind of bizarre, isn't it? She wants me out there.

Once you out where? Just out, with men, rich men. I mean, honest, this whole thing is a little bit of a turnoff. I, uh, just a little too eager, honestly. Yeah, your face and all that crazy... I blew it. So she meets him and she gets her brother Harvey to bring him to the house one day. He's quiet, but he's rich. Exactly her type. And she was quickly super into him and he dug

her hotness and Irish wit. But he was a Protestant and she was a Catholic. Oh, so he had to kill her. Different J-tounds. He had to what? Kill her. Oh my God. What? So Harvey's mom was not into him slumming like that,

but they still see a lot of each other. And that winner, Harvey told Lizzie his church was holding a figure skating contest and he was going to win first place. Lizzie, it's a very Wisconsiny thing. My church is holding a figure skating competition. You know, that's holy ice. Lizzie was sure no women would enter so she did but she used her first initial L and the last name of court so people would think it was one of her

brothers. Right Larry Lou. Yeah. Lice. I wish I could get out there. She practiced on the lake for hours. Her mom sowed her a skating outfit. Oh, her mother's nuts. Yeah, yeah. She'll be the absolute belle of the oiz. There you are. Look at all that. Oh, you're like a badazel, darling.

She let Lizzie wear her mink stole and muff as well. You should wear my muff for this. Put on your mother's muff. There you are. I don't know if I like the way this looks. It's perfect. Oh, I've been saving it up for years for you. Toss your mother's muff on.

There you are. Hold on, honey, is that your muff? I don't. You know? Why sit on Lizzy? Just not, I don't know. You know? Why sit on Lizzie? Just nod her door. It's a Lizzie's muff. Sit, don't tell your father I gave you my muff darling.

It's pretty big. It's absolutely right. Don't let Lice touch it, whatever you do. Don't let Lice have a look at it. Absolutely no eat mayor. So as Lizzy's name is called she bursts out onto the ice and the audience is basically the entire town and they are horrified.

Shock. Horrified. A woman on ice. Well not just she's got a big house. She's got a muff outside her spandex. Well almost not just because it's Lizzy but also because her outfit shows off a ton of leg.

Right. And everyone's like, what the fuck is this? The male judges are like, yes. And she went first place over Harvey. She hasn't even skated yet. Get rid of the prize. And it's a church function. it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it, get it the women in Ashkosh, of course, did not approve. No.

Women, Lizzie's age, called her common and fast. Harvey doesn't give a shit. Fast. Yeah, like, she's easy. She's insane. Right. Harvey doesn't care. Or maybe he just was excited that he saw that much leg.

Because after that, he comes full court press. His dad is sending him out west to manage the family's gold mines, and they announced they were engaged in the spring of 1877. OK. Yeah, this is sweet. Yeah, that's well. I bet it's going to take a turn, but OK. I mean, he doesn't talk, he doesn't know her.

Now the does are, Where else your muff, you're not bringing your muff? It's my butter's muff. I gave it back. She gave you back the muff, right? She ain't bringing the muff. The does were very against Lizzie becoming a family member. Her mom immediately began selling her

an expensive trousseau. Truceau? Truceau, which is like clothes and linen and other stuff for a wedding that the bride brings. The bride, war bun, okay. A bunch of shit. Sure, feels like you aren't sure what it is. I am, it just sounds dumb every time I say it.

Okay, how many times you say it? I've said it like four times. You've said it out loud for me. I rehearse this a lot at home alone Okay alone. Sure and cry. Oh my God. Lise said she would pay her dad back for the triso when Harvey was rich. And she told her brothers and sisters that out west the gold was just laying around. Oh, it's everywhere. As far as you can see. No, you can't find you'd have a better time finding have a better time finding a piece of gold than you would have stone.

All you find is gold. People are tossing at Acha. You can't even get away from it. It's an absolute nightmare. I'm actually dreading it. I planned a die in gold. There's nobody. There's no way to get away from it.

I wish I wasn't going. You got to help me. I'm going to drown in gold. Please. It's a great fear of moin. No. And speaking of moins, that's where they have it. OK. Yeah.

Help. So they married in June 27th, 1877, in a Catholic church. Oh, yeah. Lizzie was worried Harvey's mom would not come, but she did, and she was very gracious, and greeted the guests. Lizzie's mother was ecstatic. Oh, you should be marrying yourself, my darling. That's the only one who's right for you.

Her father was very down, but that probably was because the sheriff was about to take an auction off his property. Chin up, your dad is waiting day. Be happy. We're about to lose everything we've ever had. I can't believe I had to pay for this fucking wedding as well. Be happy. We're about to lose everything we've ever had. I can't believe I had to pay for this fucking wedding as well. Come on, be happy.

She's about to drown in gold. Lizzie said Harvey couldn't believe how lucky he was to land such a hot wife. So after the wedding, they go to Colorado with Harvey's dad. Bingo here. Well caught, audience. Denver was a city of about 30,000. She loved Denver. How could you not? Yeah.

They have gorp. There's dirt everywhere. How to trail makes it unbelieveable. You're not going to believe it. Denver reports a bit questionable in some of the terminals, honestly. Yeah, what's going on on the floor? I don't know. Terminal B that looks like it's perceton, but older than that, everything's fine. So they honeymoon in a swank hotel and Lizzie decided not only would she be rich, but also a social leader in Denver and admired woman. Okay. But then they go about 40 miles away

to a place called Central City. to a place called Central City. We're far away from Denver now. This is where the Does owned half a mine. So Harvey's dad wanted him to make the mine productive and buy out the other owner. And Lizzie figured they're gonna be loaded. She's like, it's a mine, we're gonna be fucking rich. Feel like it's not gonna happen. Well, Harvey's not exactly the man for the job.

He's very shy and he's very weak. He failed at filing the needed paperwork and he couldn't sink deeper shafts. Oh boy. Oh. What else? We have a problem. paperwork and he couldn't sink deeper shafts. Oh boy. What else? We have a problem. It was one thing that Muff deserves. It's a deeper shaft sink.

So Lizzy stepped up, put on miners' clothes and worked in the mine with Harvey. Wow. It's not fucking around. Gold digger. So he's just behind her just like, at some real nice dig in there, Les. She's like, we need to do this because I'm going to be, I want to go back to Denver. You even look at for gold or just try to dig back to Denver.

Oh my God, dig Cheney. Oh, he's out of the Denver airport. Yeah. Now, the fancy people of Central City look down on her. They snubber in the streets. They what? They snubber in the streets. Snubber.

It says it's snubber. But she was used to it after having shown her leg on the ice in Oshkosh. So that was pretty normal for her. So for six months, Harbin Lizzie are leading crews in different shafts. So now she's like in charge of her own shaft and he's doing a different one.. Harby and Lizzie are leading crews in different shafts. So, now she's like in charge of her own shaft, and he's doing a different one. Is he mining his own shaft at all?

Yeah, he's mining his shaft. So, she's doing... She's mining her shaft, but he's taking care of his... He's in charge of his own shaft. Yeah, she's doing both hers. Okay, she's both her shafts. They found goal-or, but not very much, and then it just kind of peeded out and then the shaft collapsed.

Was he drinking whiskey? She needs to be patient. The worst thing to do is freak out. Yeah. Because then he's going to be like, my shaft will never come back. Yeah. If she's like either way, that creates the kind of nurturing thinking that might bring the shaft back sooner than you think.

Yeah. But even if it comes back, probably not going to be finished right away. You can also take this little blue pill. Little lost in yours, honestly. Not sure why you'd wink when only I can see it. So Harvey is now like, I should learn how to be a minor. Oh, that's the right order too. And then it collapses and is like, you know what? Maybe I should figure out how to run this business that I just ruined.

So he gets a job as a minor to learn how to mine properly. What the fuck? Is she just like, uh, Darryl and... And he tells Lizzie to stay home and start wearing women's clothing. It got dim. What was she wearing? Mine is outfits. She wasn't in the mind in like a dress.

Like, woo. At home, is she just like, do you mind if I wear this around the house? No, but turn your headlamp off. This is embarrassing. Ha, ha, ha. Jesus Christ. We had good night.

OK, but now she is just the wife of a badly paid lower class minor, right? Which is not what she can't hear. So, but the money that his family had was mind-based. Well, yeah, but also like, there's a hope of a future. Right, that's what I mean. So it's kind of like an investment. The mind was kind of an investment. Yeah, yeah, now it's. So it's kind of like, the mind was kind of an investment. Yeah, yeah, now it's collapsed, and now he's like, Well, it hasn't collapsed.

It's just like they weren't finding anything. So he's like, But that's pretty important when it comes to gold. Finding gold? Yeah. Yeah, but you could learn how to dig a new shaft and find it another way. I don't know, I relax.

All right. So they moved into cheap housing in loud, smelly, and dirty black hawk. This was definitely not what she signed up for. Like in her childhood, she did not make friends with other women. And she thought the other minors wise were frumpy and ugly. Okay. Well, I wonder what they didn't like about her. She's hot, so I get it.

Right. You know what? She's not gonna hang around with the comic. Jesus Christ, you're a frumpy lot. Look how ugly you are. Lizzy walked the same route every day through Blackhawk, so she just took a little whatever store, whatever she was doing. Sure.

And miners would start to yell out to her and then they started to call her baby. That's sort of like the guy in the store when he was attracted to her and she was a miner. So... Fucking yawning. I was a little tired of it. So she certainly let them know she was married,

but they keep calling her baby, and then they start calling her baby doe when they learn her last name. So everyone in town... Is that her last name? Yeah, it's Harvey's last name. So everyone in town knows there's this hot lady walking around and pretty soon they're coming to look at her

and Baby Doe becomes a little bit of a celebrity. Jesus Christ. Walking around. We've tried in this territory before. Yeah, we have. We better like my hobby. Oh, I just creeped this lady out, it goes on walks. Here she go.

Look at her, look at her. her. Look at her. Holy shit. Oh, I like real life woman. I would like to. Easy. It's weird because her name's baby. We named her baby. So that's a bad, because I would really like to. Well, it's also baby. She's a baby. So it's also strange. So she's a baby. It's kind of like, how old are you? Stop it, that's a crazy follow. I'm going to actually move a little further away from this guy. Thought he was all right. You know it's creepy when I'm gawking at her

and I'm creeped out by this guy. I am an adult. Stop, what are you doing? You call me an adult Anthony. Oh my God. Very serious. Just trying to make conversation. She's not listening, dude.

Trust me. She might. She likes the silent drooling type. Well, that's you. That's definitely you. That's definitely you. There's a lot of drooling. Yeah, it's actually crazy.

You're going to go to the doctor? I try, dude, but they said there's nothing they can do. Yeah. It's called over salivating. Yeah. It's just the thing when I get excited. Well, it's all the time actually. Yeah, no, it's just like sobering. It's like it's pretty bad for sure. And that's how the Colorado River started. Our water. Yeah, it's ours. May we have it? Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garif, yes, this is the same guy.

I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson. It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts, and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way,

fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. She spent a lot of time going into fancier stores to look at stuff she couldn't afford. Been there. Yeah. She began hanging out at a local clothing shop in town,

just as she had at her dads. One of the owners was a fella named Jake Sandalowski. Sandalowski. He was 26. What's his name? That is Jake Sandelowski. At Jake Sandelowski, 26, really, 45. He was not married.

He was a said to be super good looking. Look, it was a different time. He listened to her, Yamarana, about everything that had gone south. And while that was going on, her marriage is shitting the bed. Sure. Harvey was always writing long letters to his mom, because he's a mama's boy. He said only she understood him. It's not great.

His parents would set money for Christmas and Lizzy wanted him to invest it in mines, but he didn't want to. And then he got fired. So... He's here tonight. Lizzy assumed it was because he was lazy and weak and she starts spending more time with Jake. At the store, Jake would give her gifts and Harvey was now moving from job to job and going

to saloons. Nice. So he's drinking more and she's hanging out with Jake in the shop and he's giving her stuff. So she's fucking Jake. We don't know we don't I do Well, then she got pregnant from Just putting on those outfits somehow It was my mother's moth Now the money situation is now so bad that they're constantly switching boarding

houses to stay ahead of creditors. And she envisioned that she would be in a marriage with a man who took care of her or she was going to be an actress. Didn't just envision was like brainwashed. Yeah, her mother was like, these are the two options. Her parents, his parents, sorry, his parents moved to Denver because they want to be near their coming grandchild. Sure.

And who they think, okay? Well, he may have, you don't know. Yeah, maybe, it's Jake's, but okay. During an argument, they get into a heated argument and Harvey says the baby might be Jake's. And Lizzie picked up a piece of mine or threw it at him and he stormed out. So they were just keeping mine or around the house? So she's still thinking pretty strongly

to his mind stuff. On July 13, 1879, she gave birth to a girl who died. And that's not good night everybody. Yep, take care. Harvey, uh, Harvey was not there when the when the baby came. Uh, so Jake is the one who stood up and made arrangements and paid for what is needed. Hardy was just a ghost. Harvey is just a ghost. So Jake take care of everything for the funeral and whatnot. It's interesting. Harvey's parents take Harvey in. Take Harvey?

In. OK. So he's living with them. Sure. And then- It's all taking a very, they're not together approach. Yeah. Well then his dad tries to get a living and lizzly and Harvey back together.

He wants them to work it out. Nice. So he's going to work it out. Nice. So he's going to parent trap a kid. Harvey is going to move to Denver, so she goes with him to Denver, but she still wants a divorce, but she's still hanging in there. She's Catholic, so her family is going to flip out if she gets a divorce.

Well, beyond the family of J-town. J-town will be very illusory. It loses mind, right? Well, I don't know if J-town would. Well, beyond the family of J-Town. J-Town will be very innocent. Yeah, it will lose his mind, right? Well, I don't know if J-Town would. What, is he so cool? Oh, he's mostly working on bowling, his bowling scores. He's like, Harvey.

He hit a 289. So you're telling me this, God of yours. Yeah. Doesn't bowl perfect games. He's like pretty good. Like you said second in the lead. J town is all about applying yourself and being the best you can be. Yeah, it's great. And and not try to be perfect. It's very stupid.

Okay. Alright, see, Bulls. Okay. So Harvey is spending his free time now in saloons and brothels. Nice. Okay. So they're not, okay? Jake opens a new store in Leadville and he pays fair for Lizzie to come up and see the new store.

I mean, okay. Yeah, yeah, they're fucking. I mean, come on, they're fucking. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, they're fucking. No, I just wanted this woman to come up to Leadville to see me in 1880. Nothing's going on. So what we did in 1880. So Lizzie and Harvey, a little later, have a quote, frightful row, and he storms out of the house, and Lizzie follows him. I like this order. Then for some reason, she's with a cop, and they watch him go into Lizzie Preston's brothel. So... I'm getting a job application.

Ha-ha-ha-ha. Harvey writes to his parents that he had followed a man who maybe wanted to buy the mine, and he followed him into the brothel. This is such, dude, excuse shit. No, no, no! I guess I get how you could think that, but the guy who wanted to buy the mine, he went into that place.

Lo and behold, was a brothel, which I guess is a place where women will fuck men for money. I don't know, I never even heard of this sort of stuff. You didn't know that? No, I thought they were roommates. I didn't even know. They had a piano that played on its own and a bunch of rooms. I thought it was a lady hotel. Anyway, I walk in this guy, I guess he went up with a woman.

I said, I'll wait to talk about the mind that he was gonna buy. The real guy, this guy who exists. Yes. Thank you. And a woman comes up and she goes, you want to go upstairs? I think, well, that's where he went. Sure, I'll go up there. Sure.

Well, next thing you know, she was naked. Oh. Yeah, in front of me. Oh my God. I said, I married, ma'am. Yeah. No, you don't.

And then I took off my clothes. Yeah. It's a bee. To show her how to put clothing back on. Right. She seemed very confused by the predicament. Yeah, sure. Well, you're not even going to believe what happened next.

I don't even know if I... I think I will. Well, my shaft didn't collapse. Matter of fact, the opposite. So as I'm trying to repaint as the verb goes, she just starts going at it. Yeah, having it my body. And an un-can't-part way. In particular part? The chef that had it collapsed. So I throw money at her, I go, stop, stop. I just toss a bunch of cash in her.

I'm just trying to find this potential buyer. Whose name exists. He's got a name and everything. Money, the whole line. Well, I don't know. The whole thing's a blur. It ended. How did it end?

Of its own momentum. Momentum. Of its own timing. Was there a moment where you knew it concluded? You concluded. How did it end a journey? How did you know that it concluded? I didn't want to have it anymore.

Once I wanted to be done with it, that's what I know it was over. But was there anything that happened to your body that made you lose? Yes, I got very cold for a second. Uh-huh. And I made a cold noise. I went, oh! I was very cold. Okay.

I was very cold. Yeah. I was so cold that I had to put my clothes on. Yeah. Anyway, I left right then. Yeah. And one of the other lady hotel workers grabbed me. workers grabbed me. Huh? You're not gonna believe what happened next. Needless to say, I didn't sell the mind. She tells me she followed me by the way of violation of marital trust, mind you. Yes. But I guess they call it a brothel. So I went back there a couple days later to do a follow-up. Because I left some questions that I wanted to ask there. See if the guy was still there.

I'm in love with the woman who called at me. Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. So... Ha ha ha ha. So Harvey writes to his parents to say he followed this guy into a brothel when quote, who should be across the street but babe and she saw me going in there. Now he's probably, he was probably set up because she had a cop with her and then they just had a fight. It's like sunny in in the Godfather, right? Get into a fight and then he's gonna go where you know she knows he'll go which is a brothel

Yeah, and they have a cop watching so as a witness. Yeah, so set up So Lizzie now charges him with adultery and she gets a quick divorce on March 1918-1880 But she had to return any mining stock he had put her name also. Also, for whatever reason, the divorce wasn't officially recorded until April 1886, it was some mistakes in the courts. So technically she can't marry, but. Right. So at this time, marriage is the only way pretty much

for Lizzy to advance herself. To advance herself. To advance herself. Well, I mean, the other way, this time in Colorado, it's going to be a brothel. Wait, that's it? Pretty much. But she was working in a mine like successfully.

Well, it's not her mine anymore. Right, no, right. It's someone else's not mine. Yeah, yeah. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh.

Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh. Uh're not fist pumping. So she has no gold from the mining. She moves to Leadville, it works for a little while in Jake's store,

but not making very much money. And that's not what you wanted. Like that's exactly where she came from, right? Being in her dad's store. And Jake wants to marry her, but, you know, that she wants more than Oshkosh, right? More than Oshkosh? Yeah, the life she had in Oshkosh.

I know this is what you're gonna do. Okay, gotcha. Plus, I forgot she's super good looking. She is hot. I forgot she's super good looking. She is hot. This time, she's not going to choose someone with potential. She wants someone that's already. She wants an established.

She doesn't want a Harvey. She wants an already-made man, a proven winner. Now, this is where, in this story, comes a gentleman named Horace Teibor, the silver king. Horace was born Horus. On November 26, 1830 in Vermont. Oh, well, I... It's father was a poor farmer. They had no water, no electricity, no stove. He was apprentice... No hair. He was apprentice to a granite cutter at 17 and from there he worked in stone cutting. He headed to Kansas territory to populate the area with anti-slavery settlers.

He joined up with John Brown to defend Lawrence against pro-slavery men. Okay. That's why you weren't making fun of him. I didn't know that. No, you're fine. I like this guy. That's his best moment. Okay.

Yeah. I hope he's anyone's best moment, really, in this country. He was elected by the town of Zindale as their spokesman as the first Kansas Free State legislature. In an 1857, Horace returned to Maine to marry Augusta Pierce. She said the first time she saw her new log cabin home, she sat down and cried in a bad way. Not a good way. Right and cried in a bad way. Not a good way.

Right. It was a happy cry. So they have a son, Maxi. Hey, Maxi. So they fail as farmers in Kansas. And in 1859, they moved to Colorado during a gold rush. They started hopping from mining camp to mining camp. Augusta, it a couple was the first white woman to ever be there, which must be really fun.

Horus opens a store and becomes a postmaster in the town of Buckskin Joe. Buckskin? No, it's just me. Buckskin Joe. Buckskin, not Buckskin. Nope, that's just me. Buckskin Joe. Buckskin, not buttbuckskin. Very specific. What kind of buckskin? It's Rump. Ass.

Tush. Yeah. Welcome. He also prospected a bit, Augusta ran the store, and then a boarding house. Four years after arriving, they were worth about 300,000 in today's money. Okay, nice. Horus took what he called, what was called,

grub steaks. Grub steaks? Grub steaks. Yeah, it's right, a bunch of bugs put together in a full lake. So he gave supplies to min in exchange for a part of their mind. Okay. And Augusta hated this. She thought that he was really really bad with money. He is known as an easy mark. Like people know that they can get money out of them. And he gave $60 worth of goods to two guys for one third of

a mine. And they thought they were just scamming them They think the mine is shit. We can't do it. Then the mine hits. So he's the guy who was like double zero and they were like this fucking good. Yeah, and then it's worth a million dollars. Yeah, oh wow. He sells the steak for a million and he uses that to buy steak in other mines and by 1879

he is one of the richest men in Colorado. He's worth $6 million. Hey, Dad. Yeah. You're the best. Fuck you. What are you talking about? I'm gonna kick your face in.

Oh, man, that'd be awesome. Just to bond with you for a little while. No way. I love you so much. You fucked every chick I tried to hook up with. Is it too late to live in a be yourn upon your breast? I reckon that'd be great. Nope. Just to absorb some of the knowledge that you have. Nope. Maybe I could be your backpack. No. Maybe we could get a scooter and I could just

eat a... You like 18 or something? I'm pretty old now, but still. I reckon it'd be cool to, you know, have you coached my soccer team? Tell me you're proud of me. You should have a job. I do. I'm a full-time, loving son. Hey, my heart's hiring. Hey, my heart's hiring. Nope.

Accounts. So he owns tons of land. He donates a lot of infrastructure for Leadville. He establishes a newspaper, a bank, schools, churches, an opera house. He formed the table light cavalry to protect his minds, but they just ended up putting down strikes. Still very valuable. I can't believe a minor owner would put down Strikes. That's how we know his rich.

But Augusta still, even though the rich, she doesn't like how he handles money. And she doesn't like. He doesn't like. She doesn't like how he does. And she's not really far off. Two-ledville writers described Horace as money drunk. He liked a party.

He liked to spend. He would buy her jewelry. He'd like to fish, play poker, drink whiskey and smoke cigars. So he's just out fucking around, having a good time. And Augusta didn't really like being rich? Well, she probably didn't like his version of being rich either because she's very primitive and proper. Well, and he's also like, I'm fucking drunk. And proudly cheating. Probably cheating. Yeah, and proudly cheating Probably cheating. Yeah, okay. You got a problem. Yeah, you shouldn't say that. Oh, I'm drunk. I'm sorry

Yeah, you're awesome though. Okay. I just think I just was like I bought you some bracelets Okay, there you go. You buy me a bracelet every time you fuck someone out. I know You should I saw I know when you're coming to get out of a lady because of your jingle jingle. I love you. I'm sorry. Here's a bracelet. Thank you. Ah, I'm shit face.

Yeah. Yeah. I'm so sorry. Here's a bracelet. Yeah, hey, no. That's great. Thank you. Here's a tiara to put hey, no. That's great. Here's the tiara to put on your weird hair.

Thanks. I got like 20 tiara over here. Oh, man. How many women have you fucked? Oh, I don't know. None? Just you, babe. Here's a bracelet, yes.

He built them a big mansion in Denver. Ever heard of it? Augusta refuses to live in the bedroom and she stays in the servants' quarters by the kitchen. Interesting. Interesting. What? Interesting.

She also tied and kept a cow tied to the front door. Where they naturally want to be. And she would milk it herself. On the porch. Which really embarrassed Horace. Like Horace was like, I can't with this woman. An embourist of his. He was very embourist. He was embourist.

Super embourist. Yeah, you could say it. The more, the more she opposed what he was doing, you could say it. It was a horror. The more she opposed what he was doing, the more he would hang out with his friends. Sure. She was doing a little conservative. She was actually repulsed by his behavior.

And so they argued more and more. And in 1879, Horace fired Augustus as the family bookkeeper. Fucked up. So she moves into their house in Denver while he lives in Leadville party. He was also known to enjoy sex workers, while he turned it loose she worked and gave to charitable causes. This is when newly separated baby dough arrived in Leadville. She knew, so she knows Horace's right hand man and his name is Bill Bush and one night she's eating oysters at the Salarock Cafe.

A sexy move. Who's that hot one? Ha ha ha ha. It's Christ. That's 55. She put down. Why are they writing her name on a chalkboard? Christ, look at her go. Is she the sheath of that one?

Is she supposed to rip the oyster out? Fucking hey. Is she all human or is she part fish? Is she a gall of some kind? Her throat is full. Oh my God, that makes sense. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

Why are they putting a sash around her? Ha-ha-ha-ha. So Horace and the bush come into eat, and she says it's love at first sight. What the man we saw before. What? That guy we saw before. Horace. Horace, the guy we saw before.

So she saw him and she was like, love it. But he's also, she knows he's the silver guy. Right. But she was like, that human broom. Oh my God, look at that rich man. Meow. Horace. Look at him.

She's probably, you know, floating with her eyes or whatever, giving him a little hello signal. And he sends a note to her table asking, I'm wasted. I don't like the way you eat oysters. Would you like to come to my table? Hello. They hit it off.

Sure. That night, he gave her $5,000 to pay back Jake and help her set up in Leadville You know I'm honestly attracted to him. I Find him to be quite sexy now that I know that he's willing to give five grand in this time five grand You heard of a sugar baby So your name is dough huh? little dough

So she actually had a date that night with Jake, but she never shows up. The next morning she comes to his shop and she gives him a thousand dollars and a note saying she doesn't want to marry him. A note? Yeah. What is this? She probably just handed him and walked off. Yeah.

Still, it's like, honey, what are you trying to say? Do you? I found someone richer. It's what the notes say. I found, yeah, it says that. That's what I wanted you to read it when I was gone. But now we're here talking. I need to walk. Well, Doc, how we should do it?

I just gave you a note. You're an idiot. This is why I'm not marrying you. Go sell suits, loser. That smell. Oysters? Yeah. I had a lot of oysters last night.

It's potent. Well, I broke the record. How many did you have? 132. Jesus Christ. But you were allowed to throw up. Where was this? At the Sadahraq up. Where was this?

At the Sadah Raqqa. What is that? That's an iPad. Oh fuck! So she gives him a thousand dollars on the note. He sends the money back. He's like fuck you. Horace very quickly moves her into the hotel where he lives,

which is next door to Jake's shop. So probably pretty awkward going in and out. Nice. I've been by close from that man. Now, there was a covered catwalk from the hotel to the opera house. Oh, nice. Classy.

And that's used by actors to go from the hotel, but Horace uses it for discrete ladies to visit his office. And so now baby Doe is using from the hotel rooms to his office in the... Horace is really getting after him. Stop it. In 1880 he moved her. I'm pretty sure someone just called a bird. Shut the fuck up. Someone called a bird. Someone, there is a bird. I'm waiting for a hawk to come.

That'd be great. We need to start doing that. We just wear hot gloves. The whole ship will be like, are they okay? Now! We don't even have a hot, we just wear the hot gloves. One of these days I swear to God. One of these days.

Just holding some meat So in 1880 he moves her into a fancy suite in another hotel the Windsor Yeah, I mean the hotel inside had diamond-crusted mirrors just like the real one And then he moved his offices into the hotel. Interesting move. Horace's suite at a marble fireplace at a gold leaf bathtub. And his office? Yeah.

Had a gold leaf bathtub. What would you have in your office? A gold leaf bathtub. She had finally landed the rich guy. Her mother told her she would land, but most people dismissed her as an amoral, promiscuous woman taking advantage of an older, wealthy man. How old is he? I don't know.

He's not. Well, so this is like 1880 and he was born in Ayadou Math, Mathcoming, 1830. So he's 50. Okay. That he's 50. That wasn't hard. Yeah. Just even numbers. Pretty low bar.

You're fucking. Where'd it go, buddy? It's awesome. I'm done. Yeah, get out of here. And on the high note. Yeah. And on the high note.

So she said she loved him and that he came to love her. But she's still married. Right, to. But he's, sorry, he's still married. Well, she is technically, but he is really married. He's for real married. Augusta knows everything that's going on because everybody knows what's going on.

Like it's the silver king, everybody knows. So the silver king. Augusta thought he would just get tired of baby dough and move on, but he does not. Instead, he moves everything out of the Denver house and asks for a divorce. Okay. And she refuses to give a divorce. You can have the cow. With what? The porch cow. That is what I'll give you. I have the porch cow I that it's what I'll give you you know I would like cow and I would like the house and the other houses and some of the mines you I'll give you a haircut And you get the porch cow. How long is it going to take?

Because if we're starting here... I'm about to give you my best and final offer. You can have the porch cow? LAUGHTER No, what? Yeah, you get the porch cow. This is like talking to the studios and I'm a writer. The fuck does that even mean?

What's a studio? I enjoy yourselves. You get the porch cow. So she refuses to give me divorce and at the opening of his new table or grand theater. So at the grand opening of this, he very publicly did not invite his wife. And she- I will not invite my wife.

She won't come. And she- Believe me. She begged for them to get back together and to be seen as a couple at the opening and on opening night the table box was empty. He was down by the stage, baby Doe was in the back and after that he stops giving a gust of money. Just cuts her off completely.

You have the cow. Make money with that. The gift that keeps on giving. You have the cow. Make money with that. The gift that keeps on giving. It's a cow. She sews but loses, and then he demands a divorce. And she still refuses. Baby Doe then told Horace he should get a divorce in a territory where Augustus' opinion didn't matter.

What does that even mean? So there are there's a no-fault divorce territory. So they could just go there. So he goes to Durango, he uses a judge. Is that right? That's here? Is it in Colorado? Yeah. Is it a shit hole? No. No, but it's what. Is it in Colorado? Yeah. Is it a shithole? No. No, but it's what.

It's just... Yep, so it is shithole? Okay. Okay, I think we've heard enough. Thank you for no clarity. We can't explain why it's bad. She's like, when's her? I miss. We've... I when's her? I miss.

We've. I'm still stuck on the castle. He, uh, he, there's a judge there that owes him a favor. And so they're divorced in summer, a, uh, 1882. And then he marries baby dough on September 30, 1882. And she's now baby Taybore. Baby Taybore, we can drop the baby. No, Jesus Christ.

But that makes him a bigamist since Durango was not officially in the records and that upsets baby Taybore because she needed a church wedding also so her parents could see because she's Catholic. I know. So in January 1883, Augusta now sues for a desertion.

And she wins. She gets the Denver mansion, an entire apartment block, and some mining stock. And she runs out of the courtroom yelling, quote, oh, God, not willingly! Not willingly! out of the courtroom yelling quote, oh God, not willingly, not willingly. Sorry, what's going on right now? What's your quote?

I love that you're quote. Oh God, not willingly, not willingly. All right. And you mean that you didn't want it. You didn't want it. I didn't want it. Didn't want the divorce or the money. Well, yeah, that's nice. You want the divorce? It's good.

I mean, if there's going to be one, but no, I didn't want it. You want the money. Yeah. And you wanted the divorce? No. So not willingly is just so. Okay. So you walk out of the courtroom you've just

won all that stuff. I ran out. I ran out right and not willingly to what? Not not I didn't want it I didn't willingly I didn't want it to force. Okay. I think I have enough to... Uh-huh. Well... What a nightmare. So just... Good luck. I'm going to write this article, but...

Not willingly. No, fuck. So her running out of the court yelling that makes her a famous victim and causes permanent harm to Horace's political ambitions. Okay. This is a rich guy, so I'll just say what's to be a big politician. Sure.

He had Ben Lieutenant Governor in 1878 and now he wanted to be a senator, and he ends up being appointed, but only to fill a vacant seat for 30 days. No one was going to choose him for the whole run. Wow. So this is when it's interesting. Now while he's there, he plans to officially marry Baby Tableau in a huge wedding in Washington DC, she has to go to Oshkosh to venture Catholic parents, it's okay, and her dad, sorry, and Horace gives her dad a house worth $150,000 to smooth things over. And so his dad's like, yeah, this is great. It's amazing that he's like, I'm not gonna pay my ex anything.

He's like, do you want a house? I really, I get it. I know how to play the game. She convinced her parents they get married by a priest and eight of her family come to the wedding. They send invitations to all of the leaders in DC, including President Arthur. President who? Arthur.

We had a president named Arthur. Party. Yeah, we did a dollar upon it. We didn't do a dollar upon it. Oh, OK. They're your testimony. Yeah, yeah, president Arthur. Yeah, his first name, King.

King. Yeah, he was at the hotel Windsor. I'm not a fucking dumbass, dude. And he was a b. The wife of Colorado Senator Nathaniel Hill tore the invitation up and told Baby Tabor's coachman to give it back to her. I just drive the horse. Also right before the wedding Augusta wrote to thank you,

Horace quote me to asshole. That's true. Wrote to Horace quote, the divorce is noan void. The divorce? Yeah, so she's, I don't know what the fuck she thinks the divorce is, but you can't just go. The divorce isn't a divorce. Take backs.

Like it's not. Not willingly relax. It, it's not. Not willingly. Relax. It's a copy written. Baby table wore a wedding dress that cost $7,000. Jesus, fucking Christ. I mean, that's a crazy amount for back then. Yeah, it's a crazy amount period.

Horace had gotten her, I mean, the average, I think the average worker made like $ dollars a year back then oh so they were probably really supportive a horse had gotten her a diamond necklace worth ninety thousand but it did not arrive in time this guy fought with john brown and then now he's like you know that doop doop we fought so hard for equality. Anyway, don't look the servants in the eyes.

They'll get attached. We're going to make them into a stew later. Since the necklace didn't arrive in time, baby turbo are for bid any jewelry at the wedding. So no one could wear. What the fuck? So at some point, she took a turn into the worst. Well, but this is how her mom racer to be essentially.

Yeah, but this is really crazy. Well, what's their $90,000 necklace, doesn't arrive, and nobody can have a jewelry. I don't think there is an difference between all the kids are doing chores and working, and she's just being pretty. I'd read, but now it's on a level where like she has access to the reality and it's disturbing. Yeah, just what she's always gonna be.

It's nature versus nurture, which we've always dug into on this podcast. I'm the, I'm the nature guy, you're the nurture guy. I would, it'll be scary when Jose moves out in his on his own. Let's just say that with your parenting, it's, tell you about no boundaries like, wow, me out, you know what I mean? Because I bought him a $90,000 collar, you think that's a political, I'm when it didn't arrive on time, I didn't allow any of the other cats in the neighborhood.

Yeah, yeah. Okay, yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. You're such a fucking dick at me. But look, it didn't really matter about the jewelry being forbidden at the wedding because President Arthur went, as a lot of other men did, but without their wives. None of the wives would go. Because they were all horrified at what they did.

Yeah, because she's young, he's old, she broke up a marriage. Yeah. The other Augusta ran out. Not willingly. All that's right. Two days later, the priest returned the $200 horse to pay him and publicly said he didn't know he was

marrying a divorced Catholic woman and that the McCourt family had duped him. Because I mean, well listen, I mean, you know, Catholics have a line and they won't cross it. Oh. I mean, you got to have rules otherwise. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you in this for if you don't have rules?

Cut to a foot of a priest with a herpy sore and then a little boy next to him with a herpy sore? Yes. Absolutely. Bishop Valtrex. Will you have something to say? Cardinal Sin, go on. So he he now officially refuses to put the the marriage into the court records quote no good can ever come from such a black deceit

So two months after the wedding her father died and some said it was from remorse From lying to the priest was the doctor one of them He passed away last night and his sleep from... What happened? Remorse. What? He passed away from remorse. I didn't know...

Yeah, no, you can tell if you look at the... Yeah. Which part? Look how stiff the body is. He's suffering from rigour morts. I thought that just happened. He doesn't. I took blood.

If you look at the blood... Yep. Yeah, it's blood. To have a sip. No, what? That was a test. Are you really a doctor? Well, legally.

Legally what? Legally am I a doctor? Yeah. Medically or legally? How about both? I cannot answer both because of the oath. It's called the both oath. So can I ask you to look in that direction for the comment?

Oh my God. Baby Table or avoided reading bad press and was now being called the silver queen. He wanted to get the governor's nomination, he didn't get it. And he got in, started getting into public fights with his right-hand man, Bill Bush, and then he fired him and replaced Bill with baby Taybore's brother, Peter. He would have given the job to his son, but his son was siding with his mom in the divorce, and in a couple years, Horace would completely sever ties with Maxi, saying, quote, he is no son of mine. Okay, went well then. Smart switch.

It all worked out. This just, but this is honestly, it just seems like classic middle-aged crisis divorce shit. Well, yeah. Baby now expected to be part of Denver society, but she did not get one call from the elite women. They moved into one of the fanciest mansions, but were still slided. Yeah. It seems small to the other one, but I think it's in a better place.

Will you zillow that property real quick? I'm curious, really. I mean, it's all those things, too, where it's like, her life is phenomenal as far as like affluence. And she wants more. She wants the socialite acceptance, and that's the thing where you're like, you don't have the status.

But I would never, that would not fucking, I would be, I would be beetle juicing in that house all fucking day. I would not give a shit. I would just be in the fucking downstairs like, boo, I don't care. Yeah. I'd just be watching below deck marathons,

eating fucking smart pop, who fucking gives a shit? You know what I would never do if I had that kind of money? Remake the warriors as a musical. Oh. Not gonna take my shot. Oh. Not gonna take my shot. So she's just getting slided by all the women.

She wasn't brought in a high society. She didn't get to do all the charity work and the rich, the stuff the rich ladies did. That's so funny, that yeah. She was unable to do charitable work. Not well with them. I know. The fancy charitable work. But let me guess, she didn't do any charitable work.

No, she did. Not well with them. I know. The fancy charitable work. But let me guess, she didn't do any charitable work. No, she did. Oh, fucking awful. Well, she didn't, she wanted the accolades of doing it with all the, you know what I mean? Yes, I know exactly what you mean. More soup person who's on rough times. Cheese. Yeah.

There were many rumors in gossip about her past and she spent money on clothes and juries and parties. She did donate to a ton of charities. She paid rent for two offices for women's suffrage leaders in Denver. So she's doing stuff. Yeah, I back off. The family, this is the first date to pass women's suffrage. It was another one.

Oh, that was Wyoming. That was Wyoming. Boy, did that place fucking boomerang, huh? The family lived large and were often featured in national magazines. They had hundreds of peacocks on their lawn. Jesus Christ. Hundreds. That's insane. Hundreds. Sorry, I'm sorry, we overbought.

Just push them aside. Just push through them. Do you have a yard? Well, yes, but where is it? Under the peak. Sorry, sorry, sorry. Oh, God run its mating season runs. You're covering feathers run Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, And I wanted a dog. They also had a bunch of nude statues, but their rich neighbors were so offended by them that baby had a dressmaker fit them all with dresses.

This is absolutely insane. So they invented mannequins? Yeah. Basically. Real dresses on statues. We need more statues with real colors on them. Yes. For sure. The tables were set to spend about $10,000 a week on parties, traveling, and whatever else. Of course, keeps running for governor and losing. Oh, for fuck's sake. So neither one of them are getting what they want anymore because they met each other basically.

Right. It's perfect. On July 13th, 1884, baby had a daughter named Lily, the christening outfit cost $15,000. Jesus Christ. It's $460,000 today. What the fuck? Kill the baby. I don't know what else to do anymore.

What are you talking about? To your two pro choice You over pro choice You can get them until they're two David two years old then that's it That's how we should negotiate with them. You know what you guys have a right? Okay, you say conception I say when they're two and a half years old. That is an actual shot. That is literally a human life, sir. Well, I guess we disagree.

Supreme Court Justice David Anthony under more fire this evening. I guess meet me in the middle. For his opinion, the children can be aborted up to five. Next election, we will change that. We have to burn down courthouses, but surprisingly, she was a hands-on mom. No nanny, in 1888, she was a hands-on mom. No nanny? In 1888, she had a son.

He only lived a few hours. But then she had an alive daughter in 1889. I don't know if that's the medical term. Who is? The doctor grabs and goes, holy shit, this one's alive! This one's going to be fine. Until unless you want to abort it. Get the lit-no sir, sir!

Get the gown. This one's going to be around. This one, this baby was named Rose. They nicknamed her honeymaid, but most people called her silver. So this one got nicknamed silver. So there's another silver table, which is that they started calling her mom. Now they're calling the baby silver.

OK. Silver's diaper pins had diamond tips. I'd be in there like, just like sifting through it, like, where does diamonds in that pool. At Diamond Diaper. Maybe Chauveron Denver in the carriage openly nursing her as a fuck you to the elite. She completely stopped traveling with Horace, so she could be with the kids all the time. At their peak, the taboors are one of the richest five families in America.

He was called Denver's grand old man, and she, the silver queen. People wrote poems about babies beauty, her soft complexion, her strawberry-blonde curls, her blue eyes, and her personality. While she didn't make friends with the elites, she was friends with actors and actresses from the grand opera house.

Okay. So she was traveling in a different sort of famous circle. We get it so good. It's fucking old money versus new money, right? Right. The classic who gives a shit, they're all rich thing. The first mine that Horace ever bought, the matchless had made him over $9 million.

He kept investing more in spending and starting companies which needed more investment to get going. He started doing risky deals and these were leading to no profit between 1883 and 1893. It seemed like he could do no wrong, no. And the 1993 comes and there's a financial panic. And the silver market is erratic. And President Cleveland calls a special session of Congress. And they repeal the Sherman Silver Purchase Act of 1890.

Oh, no. And the US goes on the gold standard. So the silver market is fucking over overnight. It's done. OK. Horace's mortgage properties were screwed. He had not, everyone had been telling him to mortgage properties were screwed. He had not, everyone had been telling him to diversify for years. He had not diversified at all. You all,

we talk about that all the time. diversify your portfolio. Don't just do silver, mainly, but not only. So he is absolutely destroyed. He's ruined. Baby does not leave him as their fortunes plummeted as everyone thought she would. She also had to deal with lawsuits and mortgages and debts because a lot of the stuff had been in her name too. So he gives her power of attorney because he's having to leave town to deal with stuff all the time and he gives her power of attorney to deal with all the stuff in town. So it's just basically, it's a shit show. Right, it's the fine-stine deal. Quote, I have no idea. Yeah. Except still a senator because America is the best

country on the world. Best country in the world. Name one better, five, four, three, two, done. Oh. Sorry, you didn't make it. He said, quote, I have no idea about our affairs except by your telegrams. She offered him her jewels so he could sell them. The electricity was shut off in the mansion for a lack of payment. Jesus Christ. They're now living by candlelight. Oh my God, get a smaller, what? She asked her brother Peter to help save the opera house, but he refused. They never spoke again. The mansion was foreclosed on.

Everything inside was repossessed or sold. So they rented a cottage. Horace was 65 years old and had to get a job shoveling slag from mines for $3 a day. I think it's just like the sloppy stuff, right? It's all because they wet everything down and then they... Slag is just mind rush. How many guys are minors? Who's a minor?

This is Boulder, yeah? Anyone with a slag? Yeah. Anyone with slag is? Smelt down the or? Okay. It's mind poop. It's mind poop.

It's the waste material left over after you do some smelting. Yep. Smelt the orbs? I smelled earlier. Stop it. They have to move out of the college. They live in cheap rooms. Babies doing all the domestic work, obviously.

Augusta moved to Pasadena, California and dies in February 1895. She dies wealthy and respected, but she dies alone. Not willingly. Ma'am, you're dying. Not willingly. Stop. Pull the plug. Not willingly. Not well, Hengley. Shh. Not well, Hengley. She leaves $1.5 million to Maxi. Maxi is now far more wealthy than his dad, Horace. The people who had called baby Goldiger said she would leave him now, but she never, ever did.

She tried to, few tried to help the tablears though. But finally in 1898, Horace was appointed Postmaster of Denver, and they moved to an ordinary suite in the Windsor Hotel and got by on a salary of 3700 a year. That's the hotel that was, they tried to base the castle. The one that says Windsor on it. That's the one they moved on. Someone's come around. Yeah. So you do acknowledge that that did say wins are on. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Is that because you okay? It'll be part of the lawsuit. I'm suing.

Just was strange for you to not notice that before. She found that out to you. But horse's health is just shot. After years of parting, followed by years of poverty and manual laborer, it had just done a job on him and he developed acute appendicitis. He converted to catholicism at the very end and then he died on April 10th, 18th, the way. 100% can be my move.

You want it? They did that to my grandmother. 100% can be my move. Religious asshole, I'm gonna just, what? Yes, I'm gonna choose God. I will, that's what I'll do. Religious asshole. I'm gonna just, what? Yes, I'm gonna choose God. I will, that's what I'll do. It's bullshit. I'm gonna spend my whole life not doing it,

and then write on my death. Yeah, just in case. Just might happen. Well, because then what if it is right? But what if it happens, and then they're like, oh, you made the worst fucking mistake ever. I'll be like, they just lied to me at the end. I was an old confused man, sir.

But if I'm up there and they're like, well, I don't know, you didn't go to church ever, but right at the end though, I was like, oh, whoops, yeah. May I please be in the cloud party? I mean, excuse me, someone's got the wristband. Pardon me. the wristband pardon me. No, not that one. So about 10,000 people came to see him pay the respects at the state capital. Maybe it's just 45 years old. She did housework and other odd jobs to support herself and her daughters. She moved them to Leadville, her brother Peter helped her by paying her grocery bill, but made sure she didn't know.

Well, because she was mad with them because he didn't help at the end. She was like, boy, it was her groceries. I'll tell you, say what you will about this economy, but groceries have never been cheaper. They're basically free. Well, back then, you would just run a tab and pay it at the end of the month. Man, imagine if that system existed now. Which brings us back to the electronic checkout.

Just take it. Just go at it. You buy five peaches, bring up three. And then if they come into I'm old, I don't know, even if you're 20, oh, I tried to bring them up. Bring your own bags, go ahead. Baby tried to find an investor for the matchless mine to get it going again.

And then she started working at the matchless again while living in the mines, 12 by 16, tool shed. She lived in the shed. Her mother was like, town to, holy fuck, no. The owners let her work there and stay there because the mine was worthless at this point. OK. It had all been mined out.

Her daughter Lily obviously hated it and left. Moving to Wisconsin to live with her grandmother, she never spoke to baby again. And she go to Ashkash? I think so, yeah. Her grandmother probably said she was as cute as Leopardcon in her Ashkash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pagash Pag for God's sake. No context, wanted it. Silver was a tomboy, she loved working in the mine. She was also a poet and a songwriter, and she wrote a song about Teddy Roosevelt.

And when he came to visit, she got to sing it to him. Oh my God. Oh, bully. Bully, what a lovely tune. But have her killed and stuffed. Oh, bully. Bully. What a lovely tool. Uh. But have her killed and stuffed. What? Yeah, bully.

So she became a party girl in Leadville and starts drinking a lot. So Baby's sister, to Denver, to get away from the crowd she was hanging out with, but her life continues to spiral. And then Silver moves to Chicago. Silver moves to Chicago to try to be a writer. It doesn't pan out. She told Baby she was going to join a convent and Baby never saw her again.

She got occasional letters. And then Silver started doing drugs, and then hard drugs, and she was in a burlesque show for a time and Yeah, okay some hard-living her live-in boyfriend killed her one night by pouring scalding water on her Jesus fucking Christ It's just this this took a dark turn this story I'm just glad I didn't make my little mermaid joke. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha sorry, denied the story when she read it in the paper, she said silver was in a content. Baby lived in the converted tool shed at the mine for 35 years. Holy

fuck. She's a show old is she 90? She's lived quite a life. She lived until she was old very old. She refused charity. She traded ore for supplies, not realizing the shopkeepers pitted her and the ore was completely worthless. As was the mine. Her thoughts became paranoid and delirious over time. It will happen all of us. She had no income and she wrapped her feet in burlap sacks. It was sick she would use turpentine and lard?

Well, it's not far away from where we are now. Oh no, if you saw the email, my dad sent me today. Oh yeah, or you're listening to last Rogan. So turpentine, Jamie, look up turpentine. I think it's really good. Right there, it's lowering myocarditis. There's actually a connection to burlap and myocarditis. You're not giving turpentine to babies?

What is wrong with these people? Jesus Christ, they're turpentodlers. Locals were given the basic necessities to get by, but she sent back any food and clothing because I was chairding, she wouldn't do it. Or turpentine? That I'll take. And then a movie came out about her life in 1935. Whoa.

The promoters offered to pay her expenses to come to the Denver premiere, Jesus Christ. She refused to go and never saw the movie. Wow. Some friends tried to talk her and disowing the movie producers, but she wouldn't. She said she didn't need the money because the matchless was going to start producing.

The movie led to people sending her letters, some contained money, which she kept because she did not consider that charity. It was a gift. A snowstorm hit on February 20, 1935, and went on for days. Afterwards, locals did not see the smoke coming from her chimney, so they went to check on her. So there wasn't a new her.

Like a pope. She was dead. And no smoke meant there was not a new baby dead. She was dead. Yeah. Is he miked? I don't know what's happening. I don't understand it. Is it like the acoustics where he is?

It's loud. Did he bring like a director's megaphone from the 20s? He could be or he could have like one of those old like what's his deal? I don't know. It's not okay. It's weird. It's certainly bizarre. I would not want to live with him. I do not want. Yeah, I'm had to live with him. No. I Might get up early tomorrow, but I'll be quiet. Oh, Jesus, yeah, okay. It's gonna make some coffee real quick. How do you, if I told you I'd love you? Here he is. More wine. On March 7th, they found baby.

She had frozen to death on the cabin floor. That's it, that's a story of baby table or baby dough. This is a strange life. Most of this came from women of the Old West by Richard Etouleh and then a bunch of other like, these newspapers in one night, what? What's the lesson? What's the lesson? Party man.

Party white can, that's the lesson. Drink different time as much as you can, I've remacked in all the stuff that works. I kept saying if she had taken I've remacked in she would not have frozen to death. All right. But no one listened to me. No one listened to me. Yeah, well, no, no. Well, that was an ending, huh?

Yeah, I'm trying to think what the takeaway is. I mean, the takeaway is. It's strange to live a life where the goal is to be taken care of and then to achieve it, but then at the end, she sort of reverts to nothing. Well, she worse than what she had before. She was an abject poverty at the end. Which I mean, she kind of gives away everything.

Then you see what happens to kids raise an abject poverty. It's a much harder, right? Those girls have a much harder time and don't live very long. But everyone else who's rich gets to keep doing their shit. And if you're attractive, you get... You're attractive, you get stuff. Although silver was pretty hot when she was young.

Yeah. I mean, they were all hot. You saw them. Only as we're H-O-T hot. You're going to need you to relax. Well, if I may. You don't look like a hero. I think the lesson is that a life

pursued with the goal of being rich. There's no real value in it. Except when you get to be rich and just destroy people's lives. Yeah, but if that is your goal, then it's my goal. So I'm getting a really, does anyone have a leave? Yeah, but it's sort of like, it's like a fool's errand, a little, I don't hear any of that. It's kind of a fool's errand a little bit, right?

Yeah, I mean. Except now, I mean, because now. But even when you think of like the class we have now of the psychotic billionaires like I don't think I mean they're certainly not stressed They're not well. No, they're happy and I think in the next, you know, a couple of decades it'll be he fucked up because if he just like diversified and not Expanded or just chilled but you know, I mean, can you imagine a billionaire like going all in on something and having no clue

and then losing a shitload of it? Yeah. You can't. When publicly displaying how fucking stupid he is when X. Yeah. We thank you guys so fucking for coming out for real. Appreciate it.

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