The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 599 - The New York Oysters - part two

Episode Date: September 12, 2023

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine the oysters of New York Harbor Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace

Back, like, like, like, like. Okay, baby. You're listening to the Dullab. This is an American History Podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to man. Your best friend, Garrett Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. However, this week I would say that I do know because we just talked about the oysters a bunch and now we're ready to go. You know what, I won't even say any that. Yep.

When was the last time you ate an oyster? Dave? I honestly have no clue. I don't know. 20 years? Maybe like the first time I had one when I was like, oh, that shouldn't be a thing. Yeah, I've only had one in my life. I was running for the first really twins. I think I've probably had oysters maybe three times, and each time it's been someone telling me my first experience was incorrect, and I should try again. All right, and then I go, no, no, I'm right. This is not for me.

No, it's not good. I worry about people. No. My wife loves them. It's bad. She's deranged. It's time, I mean, you've been saying for a while that it's time.

You know, it's time. And I think that this is kind of the, much like the oysters, it's on the rocks. Yeah. Well done, and a breath. Thank you. I'd like to buy an A. Dave, I'm just going to jump in and tell people we have a fall tour. We will be going in around the Midwest a little bit in October. Bloomington October 7th,

Chicago October 10th, Milwaukee October 11th, Madison October 12th, Saint Paul October 14th, go to doleappodcast.com, click on the little tour link, We're in episode two and Dave's mustache is still the same creepy fog version of a mustache What are you drinking there bud? You got a rocky coosie You are dare I say This is what half of the country pictures when they think of a millionaire. A drinking, whatever you're drinking from a koozy that plays the rocky piece. That's right.

Some people live large, other people don't. Congratulations. You found yourself. Well, everybody has to find their place. I like you again. I like you. I like you for a while. I like you again.

1860 year of our Lord J. Town, I like you. I like it for a while. I like you again. 1860 year of our Lord, J-Town, the man who can watersky while wearing a halter top. I wonder if you do you think he dredges? No, no, that would be work. The New York oyster boom had begun. The late 1800s were basically oyster mania. They were everywhere eaten by everyone visiting English. Se seem to be the only one who were not into New York oysters. Frederick Marriott said they were large, but he didn't like the taste. Charles McKay wrote, quote, the stranger cannot but remark the great number

of oyster saloons, oyster and coffee saloons, and oyster and logger beer saloons in these as in the Hoister, a coffee sounds like a punish. In these as in the hotels, oysters as large as a lady's hand are to be had at all hours. Oysters for breakfast, dinner, and lunch and supper. What's with how we, what's with how we talk about the size of things? This is the size of a baby. Yeah, I would say it's about the size of, I don't know, a lady hand.

How else are you going to describe your food if not to compare it with a body part? It's like a dog tail. You know what I mean? I would like a hot dog. Like a hot dog. A hot dog the size of a foot. Yeah, and then there we did. We did we did go with it.

Oyster sellers were, they spanned the, now how are you spelling that? Cellar C-E-L-L-A-R. Cellar. I was honestly hoping that that was not the way we were going. This is how we're going. So oyster sellers span, it's the whole gamut. It's everything from luxurious to just the sleasiest, grossest places.

And they're in basements. That's why they're called oyster sellers. All over the city. Many are now all you can eat. Europeans said Americans ate quote inconceivable quantities. Can you imagine when the first guy like came up with all you can eat like people being like what do you mean? Well just as much as you can fill yourself with like well yeah but I don but I guess I don't understand. Well, just until you're so stuffed, you're done. Wow, what a word. And then like it caught on. Yeah. Of course it

caught on. It's pretty cool. Yeah. So they're all over the place. People are eating several dozen oysters in a sitting. If they had too many at the all you can eat buffet, the owner would give them an oyster with a slightly open shell, hoping it would cause them food poisoning, so they would stop. That's very interesting. My brother, one time we went to Sizzler,

and he got all you can eat shrimp. And they started like putting so much salt on him to stop him. Because he'd like saved, he had like, hadn't eaten all day. We went there like seven. And then he was like, he they were like, he was like, they're salting these.

And like the last batch, he was like, they were like, he was like, they're salting these. And like the last batch, he was like, oh my gosh. Amazing. Yeah. Each oyster saloon has a red balloon outside and a red light. They're purposefully, like a siren, like, stop, help us.

This is an emergency of society. They're purposefully trying to associate it with the red light district, right, help us. This is an emergency of society. They're purposely trying to associate it with the red light district, right? Sex workers. What? You want a bang one? It's a purposeful connection to sex work, because oysters are considered an affidiziac.

Romans use tab oysters on the menu at orgies. Oh, bro. It's like hard enough to get me to an orgy. Man, if you're like, plus we'll be eating oysters during the fortication. Here you are. There you are. Enjoy that. In English. Have you ever had an oyster? Have you ever had an orgasm? Oh, you must. Oh, you must. You'd be like, Hey, I don't know what is the pile of common, which one's the oyster? I'm having trouble distinguishing.

Jesus Christ. We just lost so many. I'm sorry. We lost so many. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. In English literature centuries before, oyster.

Boy, I just have the tastiest oyster. Well, some of us can't find our loads. I thought you just apologized. I know I'm sorry more. I'm more sorry. I just wanted to like, you know. Now look, let...no. One of these plates is for oysters and the others for ejaculate.

Now let's be very clear where we're laying this, because some people have been eating. What are you doing? I'm trying to stop myself, but it's like, I know it's naughty and I find it funny, it's really hard. Yeah. Yeah. In English literature, centuries before oyster women

or oyster wench was a woman who either sold oysters or was a low character. Oh my god. So it's like this. Bro, I'm going out with an oyster wench. Oh my god, what? What are you talking about? Dude.

She's an oyster, but I love her, dude. She's my oyster wench. Wait, does she serve oysters? Or is she, you know, can you? No, she just sucks. Oh, shit. Okay. my oyster way that she serve oysters or she uh... you know can you know she just sucks oh shit okay that's good uh... slow character person there were several popular oyster brands

great south bay and princess bays uh... they also had subdivisions great south bay oysters be blue points, fire island salts and gardener salts. When Charles Dickens towards America again, he is taken to the fanciest oyster seller Downings The bill for the party at Downings came to $2,200 Wow, when the mayor heard about the bill, he called downing, quote, the great man of oysters. It's dumb.

It's so dumb. I don't know. So it's just such dumb and just normalize beyond repair. It's over. The great man of oysters. When Dickens wrote about it, his trip, he said the oysters disappeared down, quote, gaping gullets, a solemn and awful sight to see. But there was one comfort. It was soon over.

That's how I'm feeling. That's how I feel, though. This is also what you like. He also called Oyster's quote, piles of indigestible matter. Yeah. Yes. He was right. Yeah, he is right. He's it's disgusting. Now Thomas Thomas Downey the guy owns Downings was the you mean sorry the great man of oyster the great man of oyster was born into a free black family in Virginia in 1791 and he was one of the people who moved to sandy ground satin island okay uh... he was an experienced oyster man

in Virginia and most oyster sellers at the time were run by black people Okay, so some would turn their apartments into oyster sellers on the weekend I don't love it. I don't love the weekend party there. It's the worst thing ever. I don't love a lot of it. I love a lot of it. Your house becomes an oyster. Yeah. Well, I can't go home. I've turned my home into an oyster, Dan.

What does that look like? What does that look like? I don't know. I put table one. Why don't you tell me, asshole? Is there a, I don't know. You got like a Murphy oyster counter? I just don't know.

I can't in my brain cannot put it together. Yeah. So you have like a Murphy oyster counter. I just don't like it. In my brain cannot put it together. So you have like a bucket of oysters. What is it? What is it that's been a week in? What is happening? Maybe I, how is it just the weekend? Where are they during the week?

Well, they're in the week. It's, you know, people are working 16 hour jobs. So, and then what? So then you're like buying a bunch of oysters and putting them in your apartment and then people are coming up to get them. And people, and you, it's a seller, so it's where people eat them.

It's like a little pop up restaurant. Your hotel, your apartment becomes a pop up oyster house on the weekends. Where are the kids sleeping? What's happening? I know, I don't know. I don't know. Maybe you just keep a bedroom. Maybe you just, I don't know. So this is what Downing starts doing when he moves to Manhattan.

He starts doing the weekend oyster situation. He would pluck oysters himself at night and pretty soon had a rep for serving fat oysters at five broad street and it becomes a city's favorite. And businessmen and politicians would hold meetings there. So at this point, he's no longer getting the oysters himself, but what he does do is he goes out to meet the ships before they get to dock and he goes up on the ship and takes the best oysters from the ship before it gets the general.

Is he like swimming out there? He's boat, he goes out of his little boat and meets the ship. Oh, he go, okay, right, okay, okay. So he's like, they're like, oh no, what's going on? And he's like, I need your best and brightest. I'm sure he's. Tisai, the great man of oysters. I'm sure he's Tizai the great man of oysters

He's got a trident. He's just got like a fish leg. He's got fish legs Tizai Land Poseidon I'm sure he I'm sure he tip he gave them cash to do that right like whatever, but it's working for him He's getting the best oysters Sure right like whatever but it's working for me getting the best oysters sure uh... it's the only oyster seller where uh... respectable woman could go as long as she's with her guy uh... woman cannot obviously that if if if if if i didn't think she'd go in there alone woman is forbidden from going to

an oyster seller alone she has to be with her husband. As she, of course, Dave, she goes there alone, and she might meet another woman, then they get to talking, and you know what happens. Next thing, you know, they're cutting off the weeners. They're trying to get jobs and leave the kitchens. It's a very disgusting idea. Honestly, I feel a bit sick even thinking about it. Any woman alone is labeled a prostitute.

That's the color. If she's alone. Yes, as again, as she should be. She clearly, if she's there alone, we know the deal. We're not idiots. And only a certain sellers allow the prostitute. Right, so very, it's harder to figure out what's going on

than it was a moment ago for sure, but still, okay. Finally, an oyster seller was open for women only called the lady's oyster shop. Yeah, I don't very close to a euphemism. They're knocking on the door of a, you know, I mean, it's that great. So doubting, just, it's so popular, he expands the seller, he takes over the business and next door, he's just raking in dough. He's got the best oysters and he's killing it.

And once you're established like that, once you're the place to go to, you know, it doesn't have. Oh, yeah. In 1642, six million dollars of oysters were sold in New York, which is two-day would be $218 million. So I should probably put a picture of this, but here's what would happen. So oyster barges would come in, So I should probably pull a picture of this, but here's what would happen.

So oyster barges would come in, and wagons would pull up to buy the oysters off the barges. But oyster barges didn't make a lot of money, so they would get pushed around, like, well, now you can't dock here because there's a bigger business there, at that kind of thing. So the oyster bar just kept getting,

sorry, there would always be moved around the city. Over the years, oyster barges became more elaborate. By 1880s, 30 oyster barges were tied up on the waterfront at any time. Now they look like they look like two story buildings. Okay, say it if you're standing looking at the dock it looks like a bunch of buildings, but they're actually barges and they did that for business reasons. So shuckers and barrelers are on the lower deck

and upstairs are the offices where the deals are made. Okay. Quote, the upper floor office was fairly elegant with an unrate oak desk and leather chairs. Sure. When the oyster business was at its peak, at any time, there were six million oysters at any time on the boats, the barges. Six million at any given moment.

Any given moment you walked up There were It's so fucking crazy Out of control crazy Let me see if I can find I think this is a picture. I mean what if you didn't like oysters, they just like kill you? So look at it. Okay, right. So it's huge. They look like buildings.

Totally looks like a building. Like you wouldn't, you can't tell the density of oyster barge in a building. They just back up and front up or whatever it is. Just stand up. Yeah, that would be so funny to like just start, like take your ship out again while someone's on there thinking they're in a building.

Yeah. Can you be one? And they're in a building. Excuse me, what? And they're rodeo and minigames. So each of the barges made about a half a million dollars a year, and then dealers who would buy the oysters and then brissel would make about a million dollars a year. So it took a really long time, well into the 19th century, to learn to the best thing to do with oyster shells was to Not to burn them for lime or use them for roadfill, but to actually put them back into the water So the new oysters could use the old oyster shells because apparently nature as this thing were it like

What is nature? So nature, if I may, is like a used car sales. Well nature has these things called sales. Nature is nature and nature is making money by selling the shells to the oysters, right? I'm just trying to figure out nature's angle. Nature's like a middle line. It sort of seems like, yeah, like how much is nature making per shell? What's it charging?

Also, I'd love to have a meeting with nature. Yeah, well see if we can get you. It's a lot of nature's pretty busy. Would that be great? Well, I've been busy too. So this is finally in the 18th, 1800s, they realized put them back in the water and then oysters can use the lime to repair their shells,

mend cracks and just grow their shells. What a relief. The more lime that's available, it turns out the faster and thicker the shells grow. They must have just been like, wow, there's like healing properties in here. I mean, let's sell it. You're talking 250 years for them to figure that out. You know, it's interesting when you, instead of burning, burn it.

Our first instinct was, well, it's let them a lot fire a thing that comes from water let's use the opposite element on it so smart what great leaders uh... there were so many oyster dealers that they all met and decided they should consolidate a dealer quote it is proposed to pool or issues, hire a hall, and organize an exchange just as produce merchants and stockbrokers have done,

an oyster exchange. They tried but they couldn't pull it off because oysters were too cheap, which meant they didn't have enough money and political power. They weren't worth enough. Right. Good shuckers had to open up and they were't have enough money and political power. They weren't worth enough.

Right. Right. Good shuckers had to open a thousand oysters a day to make a living. Jesus Christ. Shuckings? Jesus Christ. Competition became a regular thing. Dave, it's just the tree of stupidity watching the branches sprout and flourish with the

idiocy. Well, now we're going to compete at that. And that led to regional contest, stayed against state, et cetera. Manhattan versus the tropes. Well, we're hoping here, little Tim Tim's got a he's got a pretty good shot. I'm we're hoping he's gonna go to state and You know nationals might go pro New York versus New England became a shocking rivalry Oh, but he don't even get me started here. We're gonna take it this yet. No, we're gonna take it this year, dude You can't fucking check Patrick. You don't have a fucking shock Let's go. Yeah, geez

Meanwhile oysters are like hey life's weird Our life seems to have been ruined by these things each year it would go down to the two fastest shuckers in the country. If Manhattan hosted the event, it was held at Grand Central Station. There were huge crowds, there was bedding, gambling, it was covered by all of the papers. In 1885, the champion opened 2,300 oysters in two hours and 18 minutes. Holy shit! The world record for 100 oysters opened was three minutes and three seconds. Oh my god!

There are still shocking competitions today. That's not good. But, so, 232 hours and 18 minutes. So this contest leads people to think the shuckers pay is reasonable, because they're being paid per oyster. If they can open that many in a contest, they can make good money.

They're all millionaires. But no, human being can keep up the pace he did in that two hours, but papers would print up the math. The New York Times, right, would print up the math and say, well, this is what they do in the contest. So this is how much they're making and make it seem like they're making a good living while they're really just making like three bucks a day,

which is about $90 a day to day. Nice. In 1816, the city had built a market at Fulton Street. There's fruit, vegetables, there were fish, oysters, and meat, all being sold in stalls. The deputy clerk lived in the building in a second-story space. Yeah. Loving. The deputy clerk lived in the building in a second story space. Yeah. I'm loving you. It was fine up until that point.

And then you're like, no, I don't care for it. Yeah, hey, it smells up here. What can we put all that stuff on the second floor? And I live downstairs? No. On opening day, Harper's Road quote, it's a butcher store, a fritter stall, an oyster counter, a coffee shop,

a poultry art, a fishmonger's estate. It's everything in one. There's got to be a cash. It smells horrible. I love the idea of innovation where they're just like, look at this, we're doing everything in one building. So one guy put all the stuff at near each other. Whoa.

Whoa. So back then, men did the shopping, not women or servants. Quote. Yeah, well, you can't say, you're like, again, Dave, but you can't do many women together. You're like,

yeah, yeah. You're like, yeah, yeah. Quote, it was common to see a wealthy, well-dressed, distinguished gentleman walking down the street with a chunk of raw meat or a bird or a fish in his hand. I'll have one bird. Okay, so I just wanna point out that it sounds like it's unwrapped.

Yep. He's just walking down the street with a chunk of meat. He grabbed some meat and he's walking home with the meat. Let me get... Hey Tony, let me get one of those teablets, huh? Have a good day! Oh no, rain! Oop!

Well, I guess I'll trot home! I mean, when was... Oh gosh, feral dogs! When was... Oh dear, me! I love a new... I mean when was oh gosh feral dogs When was oh dear me love in it whoopsie let it slip down the old sewer. Oh boy. Just does that off a little bit When do you think that like they came up with gosh look at all these hawks? So it felt the street locals andaurus would go there for late night oysters. Doylin's oyster bar opened and was incredibly popular.

It was packed until at least midnight. But then when it got to the 50 years later, when it gets to the 1860s, the Fulton Street market is no longer unique. It's no longer a fancy place. It's crowded. It's dirty. It's dil longer a fancy place. It's crowded, it's dirty, it's dilapidated, but packed through the night.

It is one of the main places to get oysters at 2 a.m. Well, do you think anybody at any point was just like, it's just me here, and these kind of suck. I don't even know. What are you talking about? Well, I mean, it's like, what's up with me here? These kind of suck. I don't even know how to do it. What are you talking about? What I mean, it's like, I don't know, they're kind of like salty and kind of like an eyeball. What?

We mean. Nothing, nothing, I love them. They're really, they're good, they're good for sure. I just, you know, we have pizza. You guys remember pizza? Guy, third line. Yeah. Get out.

Yeah, yeah, get out. Well, I don't see you anymore Pizza you talk bad about oysters you get the fuck out But pizza's so good and I don't know They call me the oyster Nazi First of all Nazi hasn't been got to get second of all. Why do you think they call me that? I don't know I guess I don't second of all. Why do you think they call me that? I don't know. I guess I don't know what the words mean. He's found out.

It's conversations taking a super bizarre turn. Yeah, I know. Fine. Seems like pizza is better for me. Oh, go ahead, say it to my face. Say it to my oyster face. My dad died in an oyster bed. And then he turned into nutrients. And the what are you talking about? That's

what you're eating today. I mean, are you suggesting that your advertising model is telling us that we're eating oysters that ate your dad? Dad oysters. Yeah. That's what it's called the dad bed. It's crazy. It's not crazy. It's nature. A shot him in the fucking head. What? Come on. To feed the oysters that these people are meeting in floating-street market. Because I can't. I'll kill my sons out there too. What shouldn't they kill you? Wouldn't that make more sense? I'm the only one who knows how to do it uh... yeah i'm going i'm leaving here

big got a bunch of meat my hands anyway journalist started ripping on uh... the fault in market in the eighteen seventies quote the reeking exhalation that arise from the heaps of oyster shells and garbage with which the gutters are damned there were now huge rats and thieves and pickpockets in the market and plus market you got a wonder why why not rats like okay in this situation why are people not I know but why are people not like hey look rat burgers oh rats on a Like, some of this is just, it's just kind of... Well, rats had never been blamed for play.

I mean, oysters have never been blamed for plagues, probably first. Sure, but there's so many things that could be the trend is my point. I agree, I agree. Like, why would you not be like? Why not? Because there are far more oysters than anything else

you start eating the rats there wouldn't be rats in two years there's tons of oysters i think we find i think we have i think we accidentally solved a big problem here it so markets are in our need anymore really by the eighteen seventies because there are carts everywhere. Carts on every corner, think of oyster carts the way we now think of hot dog carts in New York.

That's what oyster carts were. Oh my God! A penny each. Oyster stew costs 10 cents. But the thing is going to the Fulton market is still the ultimate New York experience. That's what you do. Your Vinny. It's 2 a.m. When you go onions, relish mustard. Thank you. In 1854, several well-off New Yorkers got cholera and died, which was not normal.

cholera was considered a poor person's disease. There's the people who lived in the slums with all the filth, but now the rich got it. And some asked, well, could it be the oysters? Hmm. And this began paranoister. What was known as the oyster panic. We're really

we're really riding every possible version of this little tale. Aren't we David? There was a huge drop in oyster sales. Oh no. The New York Times quote, It is a solemn time when men refuse to eat oysters on invitation. How doleful the saloons seemed yesterday. Now the ground of this panic is... They're still doing it.

Now the ground of this panic is a rumor that there is a sickness caused by eating oysters. The more we follow up, these rumored cases of sickness, the less definite they seem. So the papers and men like downing are pushing back. It is so goddamn similar to the way that cities like you need to come into work because well I went into a saloon yesterday and I don't know it's pretty sad all these people worried that they're gonna get sick from eating oysters. Just gotta wonder how much that's gonna cut into the culture. Gareth, just two weeks after the panic began, the New York Times declared it over.

The headline was, oysters again, the panic passed. Quote, oysters, if you please waiter, stews for the ladies, a roast for the boys and for ourselves, raw with a bit of lemon. They shall do penance no longer. The Times pointed out that everyone ate oysters all the time. So how could a few deaths be blamed? And everyone went back to the oysters. Yeah, if you could imagine a time when the New York Times approached a serious health

issue by just acting like it was over and told everybody it was fine by lying Who wrote it, Dr. Economist? We now know a main cause of color. By the way, a big part of what that, what your journalistic duty at that time or anytime would be, would be to say what the people are thinking and feeling versus what you are dictating should happen. We've had enough. The people don't buy ads in the paper. No, but it's also like the paper is bought in cities. So if people aren't

out, your paper say, you know, I mean, it's all dictated by i mean yeah you know we're we're market price to uh... we now know a main cause of color is actually food infected by sewage and raw fish in particular is a very likely way to get call sorry buddy it ended uh... nice try jack off it's over right so this is a point It ended. Nice try, Jagoff.

It's over. Right. So this is a point in our story, 1854, where they could have cleaned up the situation, where they could have said, oh, you need to change the situation. Put some money towards people to die. That's not what happened, because capital came out and said, no, we need to sell them. So instead of sell them and make them safe, it was just get back to sell them immediately. Some people will die, but it's fine.

Yeah. Interesting. The next year, the mayor began enforcing the old law restricting oyster sales from May 1st to September 1st, which he did because September 1st had, when the law was an effect that it made it a very big day. Oh, the oysters are back. We're all going to eat oysters. So it was like a festive, fun day in New York.

So he wanted that feeling back, get back the joy of the oysters. But really, the oyster panic, the oyster panic, it only really lasted a couple of weeks before the time said it was over. And by summer, everyone had forgotten about their fear of oysters, and they just kind of laughed at what he was doing. Now as the railroads have been built, the oysters were in more and more cities, and after the mid-1800s, and the love of oysters is just fucking crazy. It's hitting the whole country.

The families are eating two oyster dinners per week. Every single class of people, it doesn't help that Americans have a terrible reputation as bad eaters. American James Fennimore Cooper called us quote, the grossest feeders of any civilization known

and we were like sit out jack u.a.d.c. nothing yet kuban hose marty said the american people quote enjoy quantity we enjoy quality well i don't think this is what I love about us. I don't think anyone would argue with that. Well, the crazy thing is, is like, you know, people always like, I listen to the doll up and I can't believe how the same everything is.

And here in the eight mid-1800s, a guy from Cuba is saying, Americans enjoy quantity, we let quality. That has not changed at all. No, and I think it's like- That's slightly. Walk down the frozen food aisle of any grocery store, and you'll be like, yep, yep. We're like, we're the, I mean, we're the mad scientists

who are just like, yeah, but what if a corn dog banged a pizza? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha being to pizza. So money means crime. In August 1866, Asa Dixon and others were raking oysters two weeks before the season began. So some cops come. Not, not, not, okay. Now they're not really cops. Remember when I said that they would deputize guys. That's what we're talking about.

Oyster cops. I remember it was cancelled because of that violent scene. Yes, led by special deputy, Sheriff John Simonson, these boats come up. And when Dixon sees the boats coming, he and his buddies, he's got like three guys with them. They're all on oyster ships or ships or whatever they are.

And they make for a little creek. The other boats that are out there don't see the little special deputy coming. And so they stay out there and they get arrested. And so Asa and his boys stay in the creek and they think they've made it and then Simonson comes rolling up the creek And they start arguing and Simonson steps into Asa's boat Asa raises a shovel and says quote you sent him a bitch You son of a bitch get out of my boat or I'll knock your brains out and Simonson pulls out a gun and then he said he Quote slipped And when he said, he quote, slipped. And when he did, he shot Dixon in the forehead, killing him.

Man. So we, Dave, come on. Are you, come on. One of the problems with his story is shooting a guy in the forehead, middle of the forehead when you're slipping. That seems like a very, very accurate shot. I just don't know.

I just, it's just a remarkable. It's just, oh man. Oh, God, you gotta love it. You gotta love it. This country, come on, baby. Paid by numbers, baby. But Simonson is charged with murder. And there was why he maybe slip for God's sake.

There was talk of lynching and all the oyster men wanted to break him out and lynch him. But he gets tried. And he is acquitted because at the end of the day, a sedixan was in for a city. oysters when he shouldn't have been. Yeah. Right. A year later. because at the end of the day, Asa Dixon was enforcing. Yeah, the oysters when he shouldn't have been. Yeah, right. A year later. Yeah, I mean, like we, I mean, again,

it's been pointed out by, you know, Morris, intelligence of hides, but, you know, I mean, it's pretty obvious what the cops ultimately are doing in the long run. The guys of the police force keeps kind of coming off more and more where you're just going, that really seems like the rich people are preparing themselves for something, really does.

Yeah. A year later, well then Simonson had to be rushed out of town. They bought him a train ticket to get out of town because so many of Dixon's friends and relatives want to kill him. A year later he was back. Well, they better watch out. He might be slipping again. Oh, he comes back cool. He comes back a year later and he is hit by a car and smashed into another car while he's on the street and dies. The driver slipped.

The driver slipped. Whoops. By the way, what a great death. There was also piracy happening. Albert Hicks was just a bunch of corn in this shell. Yes, an oyster. Albert Hicks was either Shanghai'd or hired to work on the Oyster boat, AE Johnson, and on the first night out, quote, suddenly the devil took possession of me, and I determined to murder the captain and crew that very night. He hit a young crewman on the head and knocked him out,

and then the second heard that and came running, and Hicks hit him in the head with an axe. And then he had an extended fight with the captain and finished him off, and often, and by the end of the fight, the whole interior of the boat is soaked in blood. He takes the captain's money, which was going to be used to buy oyster spats, and he took the boat close to shore and abandoned it, and was found floating soon after, and a manhunt began for Hicks. They didn't know his name but he was caught not long after with the 500 and he was executed

by hanging on Liberty Island. 10,000 people came in their boats, many Oystermen, to watch the hanging. He's so crazy. His body was then stolen from his grave and sold to medical students. Oh, that's okay. I mean, I'm okay with that, I guess. students. Oh, it's okay. I mean, I'm okay with that, I guess. So there's money involved, so now people are dying.

Yeah, right. Yes, the stakes are getting higher. Yeah. London's a huge oyster town. People love oysters and London. There were 500 million eaten in 1851 and 700 million eaten in 1864. Those are your people. Yeah, every now and it's no, don't bring this to my doorstep. Every now and then I do have to just picture this and boy, is it horrifying? English scientists had decided oysters reproduced so rapidly they could never be

exhausted. Yeah, it's like the royal family. But now in the mid-eight hundredth the English beds were exhausted. Now the French had also exhausted their beds, but... By the way, the French are always exhausting their they love to bang. But they had a cultivating expert named Jacques Costa and Costa gets into a heated fight with English zoologist Richard Owen about kangaroo reproduction with English zoologist Richard Owen about kangaroo reproduction. And this causes a giant rift because British scientists don't or like or trust costanau. So the British ignore his work, his expert work on cultivating oyster beds. And so while the French had tons of oysters, the English now had none

because two guys gave argument about kangaroo. Boy, boy, boy, boy. One more funerary like that'll ever happen again. When the British will just dig their stupid heels in, however some sort of So just dig their stupid heels in, however, some sort of sea animal. And gosh, just take their ball and go home to the detriment of their own well-being. I wonder. Get picturesque, personally.

In 1882, the London Daily News wrote that their season of joy had turned into one of regret and envy of New York I fucking idiots You just do it again So the British the British start by in New York Remember that they have been all been kind of talking shit about New York oysters up until now Okay, right

And now they start by in New York oysters like crazy. What a shock, you dick! And the New York population around this time has exploded because we're talking potato famine and all this other shit. So it's more and more people in New York, in England, are eating American oysters. One million oysters a day are being harvested to eat. In 1889, an 1889 oyster ended along the Bronx with the dredging of the Harlem Ship Canal. So we've lost the oyster beds by putting trash

in landfill over it, at the South tip, now of the Harlem area. Now we've lost those because we're dredging to let ships go through. New York bands steam-powered oyster dredging, as it had been leaving areas bare. With that change, it feels like the oyster beds can go on forever, right? Like, if we get rid of dredging, this will be fine.

But industrialization has increased, and beds in the Harlem River are being abandoned because they're too close to factories. So you've got a bunch of different things happening, right? You've got there they're they're losing beds because of infrastructure stuff and then you're also losing beds because of factories. You can't. The oysters just taste bad. They're near a fucking factory. They're not good. In 1898 there came a new kind of restaurant. Oh God. Dave.

Dave. You got to understand. Every time I feel like I've put myself in the defensive position properly, a new restaurant. Gareth, they were called lobster palaces. What the fuck? What? Therefore the rich. Therefore rich people, the richy, richy richest. It was the guild of age. Inside Fountains made of marble.

They had sparkling chandeliers, thick velvet drapes. It is the place to be seen, to eat fresh lobster, and high rich, high calorie dishes, which had become recently super popular with the wealthy, and of course tons of oysters. They would pour out of the theaters after the shows were over and arrive in their limos and all go into the lobster palaces. Performers who had been at the theater they would ask to sing and they would all applaud. People would get applause when they walked in just for being who they are. The prices were called unimaginable. And the eating was

at times gluttonous. There are two famous large people, actress Lillian Russell. You're really, by the way, you're really coming at me right now. This is like an oozy. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The Lost Episode. The Cross Episode. So they would have eating contests. So the two of them would sit down and try to out eat each other and everybody would watch and enjoy the fucking hell out of it. It's just disgusting. If a matriety didn't want someone inside, they wouldn't get past the velvet rope. And this became known as getting the rope. Wow. So they invent, this is where the velvet rope was. The line, the magical

rope line. One of the biggest lobster palaces was rector. It had 60 waiters and served millionaires. The oyster plates were ornate, hand painted, custom made, porcelain. So I was just, I mean, it was just, it's Rome. It's just gluttonous madness. It's pure Rome. Rome tried to, like pass laws against gluttony. This is what we're talking about.

To show how wealthy they were, they wanted to just be swimming in food. And the best food they could get. Yeah. So the great oyster boom was officially from, I think, 1880 to 1910. And beds produced 700 million oysters a year. Wow.

They're sold on every street corner in sellers for the rich in the palaces. Oyster practices, some oyster practices, become controversial, one of which was drinking. So, that was when oysters were harvested and then taken and put in holding tanks and floated in fresh river water. Using this process, they would become wider and plumber, but they'd lose flavor. So, the Department of Agriculture starts looking into drinking because there are artificially increasing the size

and then being able to charge more. And it's not quality. Right. Oh, and the river water that we're talking about is super polluted. So they're essentially swelling up the oyster with polluted water. Oh, man. Would you like toilet oyster?

Well, it's factories, right? Factories are just developing pollution in the rivers. Guantas Bay, which remember early on, was like we're finally having like oilsters. Yes, so Gwanis Bay, which had foot long oysters. Tons, tons, yeah. It's now closed because of raw sewage. Oh my God. What the fuck is with us?

Get it together, you idiots. It's not like we're doing this to save the oysters. This is for you. Yeah, that's the thing. Same with the Jamaica Bay Bats. They're also closed because of sewage. The Jamaica Bay Bats are getting closed and reopened all the time because of sewage situations.

New York is now dumping sewage and garbage at sea. Some of it's washing back. Sometimes the waste, including dead animals, watched up on two popular beach resorts. Good though, good, fuck them. It's so gross. It's the idea of just putting it in the sea and then having like a low trash tie. When they say dead animals, we're talking about like horses.

Yeah, all right. We're just like, oh my god, is that a sir? Oh my god, that's a full grown horse. But imagine being an environmentalist this time, you're just like, Oh, you're just like, hey, I'm going to just have to say no to everything that's don't. Hey, you got think that's it? Is this seem bad? What?

Seem what bad? No, what do you mean? There's a few pigs on the beach. Carcassians are not one. Yeah, they're a bunch of trash and what not. They're covering oil. Yeah, exactly. Well, how do you know they're pigs?

They're oil pigs. Interesting. You can see the shape. Yeah, well, look, I think, look, what's great is that the pigs are absorbing a lot of that oil. That's kind of nature. Working its little magic, don't you think? No.

Oh, smell that ocean air. Oh man. It smells like feces. My nose is really bleeding. It's bleeding a lot. Yeah. It's all your eyes now. Yeah, well, they're one of those eyeballs is out, but gosh So could in would you By 1910

600 million gallons of sewage was dumped into New York City water daily. Floating summer bathhouses, off Manhattan, so they would bring out these bathhouses that float, and you could swim in the river with your family or whatever, you could like, floating summer bathhouseshouses off Manhattan. Sometimes had visible sewage floating amongst the swimmers and the kids would come out covered in filth. What a lovely escape. We are just animals like this. Oh yeah, I know.

Just give it a breath. Honestly, I'm going to give it a rest. Honestly this and then. I'm gonna solve a problem right now. And it's not great because it's gonna be the wealthy. I'm gonna take it back. Never mind, I'm not even gonna solve it anymore. Well, we should just legalize cannibalism. You should be able to eat humans. In 1904, Irish cook Mary

Melon was determined to be the source of a typhoid outbreak in Oyster Bay Long Island. She was determined? Determined to be the source. Okay. They realized she was the source. Oh, deter...sorry. In my head, it's her like, oh, I am going to give everyone toy foeage. Ha, ha, ha. Well, this is Typhoid Mary.

Right, right, right. Public health officials realized oysters were reflecting water quality and they had sewage in them, which was leading to typhoid outbreaks. Well that's not good for business Dave so why don't you bite your tongue? And oysters showed New York was dumping way too much sewage into the water. So drinking the process of drinking was a ban.

The fact that the oysters would river water. Right. It's banned by the pure food department, which is a federal, federal department. But large oyster packers fight back.

And they say floated oysters are better and they're more tender. And they've got oil in them. And the papers back them. One said quote, the practical man knew more than the scientist. And people pushed and the decision was reversed. Oh, sweet God. If you could imagine the New York Times saying the practical man knew more than

the scientist, you would understand the year 2022. Many people now believe that because the government could measure pollution, they didn't have to worry about it. Well, that's actually a logical assumption. I guess. I mean, you would think you'd be like, hey, all right, they figured it out. Yeah. But that health department's looked into it and what they found was there is no unpolluted fresh water for oysters. So the drinking no matter what they do is going to make them worse.

So drinking is again banned. See, that's the difference between then and now. So, drinking is again banned. See, that's the difference between then and now. Yeah, maybe. We'll see how long it takes. York oysters from York Bay were no longer edible because of sewage. But they could be used as seed oysters. So, the spats, they start sending to California to be grown out there. And a little while later, a commission on New Jersey oysters noted the California oysters were small and had lost quote, the unpleasant flavor it derives early in life from the polluted

Newark waters. I love how this is like, we've concluded that pollution makes things taste like shit. Yeah! Right, so the oysters taste terrible from Newark because they're just stuck in the wall. Pollution. Right. The Paseg River, once the best fishing river in New Jersey was now so polluted it emitted fumes that blistered paint on nearby river houses is that bad I don't think so

people abandoned their homes due to the smell oh my god and isn't that the Jersey State motto? Yes. In 1910, the oysters off New Jersey could no longer be eaten. They were used for seating. And then, sturgeon catches dramatically dropped off, killing off the caviar industry. Fish in shallow water were suffocated in oil spills. Shad were driven out of the Hudson.

In 1924, the Times reported lobster and bluefish were disappearing. Well, Dave, I like to think when a lobster dies, it goes to the lobster palace, heaven. That's right, that's right. But, Gareth, people were not complaining about sewage as much as they had about the dyes that were being released in the water by factories, which were not toxic. People who lived by the Guanas Canal thought the dyes smelled bad,

but it was actually the visual dyes changed the color of the water every single day, and the canal became nicknamed Lavender Lake. And poor people would go out and stand on the bridges with their asthmatic kids, because they thought the fumes could heal them. Oh boy. BOOOOO! This is a dark moment. Oh boy. Oh that's some bad stuff right there Jack. Oh man. Oh man. Oh man.

How many got cured? I mean, wouldn't that be a thing? Wouldn't you think someone have to get better, but it's got more. So I don't know what this cure all is. I don't know. Plus I can see the veins in his face now. Really breathe it in there, John. Soak in it. Suck. Deep breaths.

Big breaths. There we go. Heal that asthma. In 1914, the sewage washing up on beaches led the city to start closing public beaches. Okay, so this is so great because the answer should be to stop any sewage in the water. Yeah, well, just wait. You know, it's so funny.

I was just thinking this like two days ago because I have the dawn dish soap and I was looking at it and it's the same label. It's been probably my whole lifetime are close to it. And it has a duck, a baby duck, with oil on it being washed. And we've become so lulled into the idea that animals get covered in oil, that dawn dawn dish soap

Feels comfortable enough being like our spokesman is basically a duckling covered in oil and We're washing it and it's so fucking like if you just step back you're like wait What and they like this is a great soap for your dishes and also when we put all over animals, it really is helpful to clean them with it. Yeah. Nuts and creaks. Cool though. Nuts and creaks is on the Queen's Brooklyn border. It smells so bad, residents in both both burrows and also Manhattan had to keep

their windows closed in odors. So, okay. People walking around. People with that snout code. Smelly. I think it's coming from over here. I agree. I do think it's in that direction. Come on, everyone.

They came up with a list of polluters like a fertilizing company and they quote dead animal wharf. How are you living at what point are you like what about not a dead animal wharf? Like how are you? It's again it's a fucking it's the fucking early 1900s but what about not a bunch of dead animals out of wharf who needed a nose posse to be like I think this place smells like no shit no shit yeah no no yeah the dead animal wharf yeah I got a bit of a

hum to it I promise to clean up the dead animal war. Yeah, I got a bit of a hum to it. I promise to clean up the dead animal war. Look, come on, I think we're all crazy, like the guy who was like the PR person for the dead animal war, was like, I don't know, it smells pretty good to me. It seems fine. It was fine for my dad. It wasn't fine for me.

Everything's fine. Now go to horse beach. Yeah. Now John Rockefeller had opened an oil refinery site on a Newton Creek in 1872. By 1900, it had dumped enough pollution to kill the creek. No one had realized the harbor was really in bad shape until the typhoid oyster link happened.

New York restaurants now became concerned, especially after a British court ordered a hotel to pay a typhoid victim $1,320. So, chefs stop serving Roy Oesters and Roy Oesters. Roy Oesters. Roy Oesters. Roy Oesters. Roy Oesters. So, they're just doing cook now. New York Times was calling them, quote, sewage fed Oesters.

Bad for business. That's bad for business. By the way, and the Times, just to to be clear is the one that keeps being like Eat them get out there. Let's go. That's correct. The 30 what was a 30 no 50 50 60 years ago the New York Times when the typhoid connection was made they could have said and the oyster panic happened They could have said hey, we need to clean the water and their response was hey, we need to get oysters back in people's mouths as soon as possible. So let's lie. That's what the New York Times did. If only there was a modern day correlation, but they prevented us going into Iraq.

New York oysters start getting a reputation for tasting like petroleum. I don't know what that's about. But it's still the oyster capital of the world. Only half as many are being produced there as at the peak in 1909. The big oyster houses, the wholesalers, now stop investing in the oyster beds. And in 1916, because there's no point. Yeah, they're not going to make money.

In 1916, a typhoid outbreak is traced to oysters. And in January 1920, the Times wrote quote, oysters, once plentiful, are gradually being clashed as luxuries and will soon become a delicacy. The reason, according to the government, was quote, pollution of waters in which oysters ordinarily spawn. The Jamaica oyster beds were closed again in 1921. Forty sewage lines were now emptying into Jamaica Bay. There were several cases of typhoid. Those beds produced one-third of oysters for the New York market. So they built an oyster purification plant near Jamaica Bay. It's so dumb. It's so dumb.

She's fucking stop. And this is like the carbon offsetting. It's like, or just stop polluting. No, no, no. But the thing about the Oyster Purification Plan is it just kind of made them realize that the water being used could not be polluted and that's all they had was polluted water. So that wasn't going to work.

They were like, hmm. Still, no one else would be polluted. No, not clear to the pollution. Not an option, right? Yep. In 1924, there was another typhoid outbreak due to a block sewer which could have been fixed in 30 minutes with a $5 part. There was another typhoid outbreak due to a block sewer, which could have been fixed in 30 minutes with a $5 part.

So articles about pollution in papers are regularly being published now. And in 1927, the final raritan bed, which is the one between Jersey and Staten Island, the final one is closed. And that's it. Always stirring in New York Harbor is over. The pollution also killed. Clamming, lobstering, and commercial and sports fishing. So weird. It's so weird because what would the connection be

for all that sea life? I don't know. It's just... It's a mystery. Whatever the oysters had was was contagious or something. Yeah, yeah, it was an infection of some kind. It was it was not airborne, but waterborne. Waterborne. Which, by the way, was how I was brought into this world. Waterborne. Stop talking. Okay. New Yorkers can't wait out to catch Darenie Moore. No one can earn a living from the sea. But they keep eating oysters. Just not as many and imported. They're imported. They're not using the arcoesters. Okay. If an oyster is open carefully, it is eaten with a working brain in organs. If you open it carefully, it's alive and you eat it. The liquor, as it's called, that gives it flavor is mostly blood.

In 1932, at the Oyster Growers Association Convention in Atlantic City, Dr. Vera Khoring of the US Bureau of Fisheries said it was cruel and inhuman to open an oyster shell and pry it loose. Quote, the oysters before being sheld should be given an anesthetic. The oyster growers really did not think this was a good idea and did not inform the public. That's the thing like that's what I can never get past is like that sort of like whenever I see footage of someone dropping lobsters in hot water or crabs in hot water and talking like now what you're gonna do is I'm like Hey, but they're they're their whole life. What the f- hey, but the thing they're going through right now is like hell total hell Um, have you ever seen the Chinese,

it's like a delicacy where they eat the clam with a big worm sticking out of it? And they eat it like, yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah, it's like, I can't, I like, I don't want to live anymore. Like I don't know why. No, there's a lot of that. There's a lot of stuff where you're like, hey, how about, no?

Hey, what if that didn't happen? How about respect it if you're going to eat it a little or something? In 1934, New York loses a Supreme Court case and has to stop dumping garbage at sea. So the city starts using landfills. And wetlands become trash piles. In 1948, the city created a 2100 acre landfill at Fresh Kills in Staten Island. 12,000 tons of garbage arrives a day.

In 1951, the New Yorker published an article titled, The Bottom of the harbor, quote, the book of the water, New York Harbor is oily, dirty, and germy. Men on the mud suckers, the big harbor dredges like to say that you could bottle it and sell it for poison. Oh, I mean, capitalism is disgusting. You know what you could do is bottle it and sell it as poison. I'm an ideas man. The bottom of the harbor is dirtier than the water. In most places it is covered with a blanket of sludge that is composed of silt sewage industrial wastes and clotted oils.

At old time on Staten Island was quoted as saying it's getting worse and worse. Everything is getting worse. Nice. It's black gunk. It's black gunk and there are gas bubbles popping out of it. So cool. It accumulated in some places at a foot and a half a year. The Gwanis Canal sometimes popped out gas bubbles the size of basketballs. You've done that. Pea!

Ah! Ah! People would stand on the piers to watch the black water spit and burst. We're nuts. We are nuts. Have you ever seen the hot mud at Yellowstone? No.

Yeah, it's really cool. It's like a hot, gassy mud. It's the same thing, except this is. No. Yeah, it's really cool. It's like a hot, gassy mud. It's the same thing except this is. Yeah. It's like man, instead of man versus nature, it's man bangs nature. On Staten Island, the mansions built by the free black people were now abandoned and surrounded by fetted water. and surrounded by fetted water. Nurek kept dumping sewage, sludge at the site 12 miles out at sea until 1987.

This created a 12 at 16 square miles zone nicknamed the Dead Sea. Over 30 species of fish still somehow enter the harbor, enter the harbor each year. The oyster beds mostly dead. There's some hardy, bad-ass ones sticking around, but they're pretty much gone. Some old New Yorkers, however, refused to believe they were too polluted, and the health department had to enforce the oyster band. The industrial pollution is heavy metals, zinc copper lead, chromium, which had gone into sewers every single day for years. There were hydrocarbons from oil.

Pesticides from farms came down the river, DDT, Deltrin, Andrin. Between 1940 and 1970, GE dumped hundreds of thousands of pounds of PCBs into the Hudson. Then asked bestos and solvents in the 60s and 70s. Oh, and then came Agent Orange from the Diamond Shamrock Company. The rivers that gave the Harbor Life were now filling it with poison. In 1978, Raritan Bay had the highest concentration of copper ever reported in any estuary in the world ever.

USA baby. Fish had PCB and they were misshapen. Their fins would fall off. Harlem catfish still go blind. An environment movement started to save the Hudson and groups took on utility and oil companies, industries, city halls and federal agencies. The Anaconda wire and cable company in 1971 was charged by the US Attorney of a hundred counts of violating the Refuse Act of 1899, and they had to stop dumping in the river.

The United States then passed the Clean Water Act. All bodies of water had a deadline of 1985 to become swimble and fishable. Blue fish are now back in New York Harbor, stripper are everywhere. The Hudson has many fish and is one of the healthiest estuaries in North America. New York Harbor is swimmable. Not all the fish are edible though, Shad is okay because they're obsessed with sex so they don't eat while they're in the harbor. The Gwanis Canal still does not have enough oxygen for fish or oysters. Oysters recently left there, died within two weeks.

Their shells had been eaten away by acid. Jamaica Bay beds still have no life. There are oysters in the East River, in Arthur kills, and other spots in the harbor. A few oysters have begun living off a pier and tribeca. Grips have been trying to bring back the the oyster beds. For many reasons, and a big one is flood protection, which will be needed with climate change. And oysters are the self-cleaning system of water systems it turns out. A healthy oyster population, filters and cleans Baywater.

It becomes clear, light penetrates, allows habitats to grow. Kathy Drew of the River Project, quote, quote, we project that if the oysters were here in the numbers they used to be, they would clear the water in the harbor in a few days. So oyster reefs are back in some areas in New York Harbor, but there's no chance of eating them in our lifetimes as the water has too much heavy metal. Wild oysters are now considered functionally extinct in the New York region.

Man. As the sea repairs itself, old feuds rise from the New York Times in 2007. The border skirmish is waged by shirtless men in small boats, stabbing long rakes into the black muck of Raritan Bay. And by bureaucrats in Albany and Trenton, the prizes clams, little necks and cherry stones, meeting healthy and once again plentiful enough to fight over, the hard shell clam is flourishing in new and rare-tgen bay,

the reach of lead and water that divides Staten Island from the north end of the Jersey Shore, but its recovery has revived an angel dispute between New Yorkers and New Jersey. In this round, clamors and officials in New York complain that New Jersey is looking the other way as its baman wander across the state and dig in New York. Where fucking crazy?

People are fucking crazy. Man. So there's a really good TED Talk about how reintroducing wolves changed the shape of streams in Yellowstone. Because our systems are designed, the earth systems are designed to work together. Do you have a wolf there now? Pablo, stop! Yeah, I get shit, wolves up.

Power. All these systems that work, these things exist for a reason. They're in place for a reason. They work with each other to keep everything functioning, and we're completely obliterating it. Yeah. So, you know, like, right now, the earth is New York Harbor.

Yeah. I mean, the whole thing is just like, is balance. We've been lucky in the way that we've been able to kind of, you know, that the earth is so resilient that so much of it is, I mean, it just really is. Like, we've just put a fucking beating on it. And there are a lot of ways that it just kind of self heals. But we now have a part in the pun, our foot on the gas. It's annoying, I guess, to keep saying that so much of this just comes right down to capitalism.

But you're going to ruin everything if your goal is only profit. And then I just don't, you know, I mean, we've talked about this endlessly, but like, so what is their plan when there's nothing left to sell? What, you know what I mean? Like, what is their plan? And you just realize the more you get into it that they don't have that part at all either. The people who are running it all in charge are...they're just the worst people. You know, I mean you talk about how all the shit in the harbor floats and sticks to the bottom. That's what happens to our top. The worst chunkiest, murkiest bullshit sticks at the top and is in charge. And you posted that video yesterday where that guy was basically like, you know, he's just making that point,

which we've said before, but you know, just, you should, there should just simply not, like if you need a line, no billionaires, no billionaires, not allowed, not allowed, that's just when you let this happen and the accumulation to go to these individuals and have so much, and instead of them being worried about the guillotine, they're celebrated by some of us. It's just like, you know, I mean, I guess I used to be so fixated on saving it all. And it really does tell you how bad things have gotten when you're like, we just need to go. And that's it. And you, it's the idea that you're a part of this species and rooting against it is sort of this really, it's a paradox because you're like,

how can I be saying that I want, I mean, but that's the only way it can work. It's the only way. And even then, we're taking so much down with us. We're taking everything down with us. Yeah, I mean, you know, some stuff will figure it out, but, you know, we're, you know, we're, we're, the earth went through all these different changes through random acts and, and whatnot. But we, we decided that we just went to the fucking pool and just filled it with shit and piss and then we're like,

Hey, it kind of sucks to swim here. I mean, this story is just so incredible because you're just watching it play out and like you said, the rich are in lobster palaces and their partying and at that's exact point when everything is just completely crumbling, but they don't notice, because they're having a fucking awesome time. And it's like champagne. And it's just like, you know, they knew for a long time that the sewage and the pollution and everything was destroying the sea.

And they just keep going until there's nothing left. And then they're like, yeah, we should clean this. But that's not an option for the Earth. Well, it's also why when you have a government that is run by the extreme elderly, it's a really bad idea. It's a really bad idea. It's a really bad idea. Sources Mark Kerlansky, The Big Oyster.

That was the main source. It's a really good book. Documents of the Assembly of the State of New York issues 68 through 114. New York Times, Jenny.com, Captain George Burr, the social historian, oyster min shot, deputy sheriff arrested, and lobstergram.com, lobster palace society. I love, man, that is just, that is like truly, I mean, as usual, just one of the craziest fucking stories.

I thought, I really thought I was gonna, I thought I was gonna write a quick episode about oysters. I didn't, I thought it would be like, gonna I thought I was gonna write a quick episode about oysters. I didn't I thought it would be like hope I can get five pages out of this. And then I was like oh the oysters like that was New York Oh no a two-parter. Yeah I mean it was crazy. I was like what the fuck is happening? Yeah it's just totally crazy totally crazy but as usual anyway good luck everybody. It's not gonna go great. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson.

It's basically a call and advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to We're Here to Help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday.

We're here to help.