The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 6 - The Tank Chase

Episode Date: June 2, 2014

Dave and Gareth Reynolds discuss the tragic life that lead up to the greatest police chase in American historyTour DatesSources Dollop MerchPatreon...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When you're staying at an Airbnb you might be like me wondering could my place be an Airbnb and if it could what could it earn? You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. That in-law sweet guest house where your parents stay only part-time Airbnb it and make some money the rest of the year whether you could use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun. Your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. Really? Welcome to another episode of the dollop. It's weird when a dog jumps on you
Starting point is 00:00:47 at the start of the podcast. It's normal for me. We have a good relationship don't be jealous. We have a great relationship. People enjoyed Hugh Glass. The Hugh Glass story. How could they not? I keep getting tickle updates from different tickling. There's a tickler loose in Boston who's tickling people while he breaks into people's houses and he tickles them while they sleep. Jesus so many better things to do once in. The guy who okay the guy who the tickling thing all traced back to. Yeah the weird right. Is now suing the journalist. The bisexual journalist. The bisexual journalist or
Starting point is 00:01:28 homojournalist whatever he calls him. Yeah. And and he's suing him and he suit him for also putting up that gross photo that weird creepy photograph that we use that I showed you. Yeah. So I removed that from our site just in case I just didn't want to. Oh jeez. I just didn't want to deal with any weird lawsuit. Even though he got he doesn't that's the that's the picture the FBI put out when they arrested him. Yeah. So he doesn't but I also don't want to deal with what I got a higher lawyer. I don't know what his problem is. It's a good looking picture. That's a headshot. I should send that as my headshot. That should be headshot. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:01 We really I mean it's it's not too late. We really should do the shirtless pic soon. Oh fuck yeah. I'll maybe do it next week. Yeah and then we I'll let you. We have to do that. Have at it. Have at it. I can wear a sign that says not at all gay. And we know and I know a guy. Ash is a guy who used to be on a radio station down there in Australia and he lives here mostly now and he was one of the tickle guys. Yeah. Maybe at some point we could have Ash on and talk to him. Yes. Yeah. All right. I already told you that last week didn't I. Did I do that on Mike. No I don't think you said we'd have him on. So there's new information. Yep.
Starting point is 00:02:40 It's a new bit. So this week did you see my post about what this one's about. No. The greatest police chase in US history. Okay. Do you have any idea what that might be. No. You don't. No. The greatest police. I mean well okay to come to mind. Okay. I know it's not going to be OJ. Okay. Why do you why do you know that. Because you'd say it's the OJ police chase. That's what we're going to talk about. The whole murdering thing. Murdering you people is not all that funny. I mean it's a little funny. Or there was the guy in San Diego who stole the tank. Okay. Is that who we're talking about. Yeah. Oh wow. So I was like what goes in like I was I saw a little clip of it and I was like okay
Starting point is 00:03:24 fuck why did that guy like what goes into. Yeah. A guy taking a tank. A guy just doesn't pull up and go you know what I'm going to take a tank. You know what I'm going to steal a bike. Now fucking I'm going to get a tank. So there's always. So you know something. Shit had to be. Yes. Building to a tank seizure. Yeah. Yeah. Just grab it. You're climbing the tank meltdown. I know it's so funny. I thought I thought I would be clever by by not telling people but everyone is going to say cartridge in the tank. But I don't really know. I remember it live. See I just remember it vaguely. I don't remember any back story. It was so fucking crazy to watch a guy just driving. You weren't here when that was I
Starting point is 00:04:12 in college in no 95. So I was I was up and I was doing comedy up in San Francisco. But I it was on TV. Yeah. Yeah. It was like six o'clock. So that's when you're. Was live on TV. Well yeah they cut in and showed it live with the helicopters and all that. Or just the cars you know showing it as the tank went by. But I remember watching just this tank just destroying shit. And I remember I remember them taking the guy out of the tank like I remember the whole thing like it's very vivid because it was a guy in a tank. Yeah. Destroying a city. Yeah. Okay. And everybody seems to know about it because we went through a period in America where those craziest drives. Biggest accident. Wildest chasers of all
Starting point is 00:04:54 time. Yeah. Those things were huge for a while. And then I guess we got tired. They're not still on right. I haven't seen them. It might have been when a man stole a tank that we were like are we fueling the fire of this. Who's got the craziest thing. Jesus Christ. The man is a tank. Well another guy in Colorado fitted like outfitted a bulldozer and went on a bulldozer run. But like but like did it up like like at the end of Animal House like he tricked out a bulldozer and went for a fucking run. Where are you going on. Garage. Again why. D.D. is getting in the dozer. What. Shut up. Your name's Larry. My name is D.D. All right. So Sean Nelson is the tank guy. Admiral Nelson. Born August 21st 1959.
Starting point is 00:05:45 So he's on the cusp of Virgo and Leo. Wow. What does that mean about him Dave. I don't know. I don't even know if he is on the cusp but it sounds great. He grew up in Claremont which is north San Diego. And he went to after so you know his dad was in the military and San Diego is like seeing the seeds. People who don't know San Diego is a huge military town. Yes. There's what's the big one. What's the big one. The big the US Army. That's the army. Those guys. The name's tricky. I don't even know what the big but my Pendleton that's Pendleton. Yeah. So he he signed up for signs up for the military. Okay. Goes to Fort Knox Kentucky and trains as a tank crew member. Oh boy. So he's tank knowledgeable.
Starting point is 00:06:39 Yes. He was in the army from seventy eight to eighty which is a brief stint just on the cusp of cancer. Usually don't you have to go. You should think if you're in the army you got to go more than two. Isn't it. The whole thing that they just fuck you. I don't think it's a to an out situation. Yeah. You're like all right boys. I'm not signing up again. I didn't like it. So he was part of a tank battalion station in Germany. He served as army battalion was discharged. The rank of private in nineteen eighty. His career was marred by multifaceted discipline disciplinary and problems. So what we're dealing with is a man who doesn't handle discipline. He doesn't handle things well and he's in the army. He's
Starting point is 00:07:23 told no that isn't enough. You know what you're not good at this stuff but you should get to know tanks. Listen now that we've told you how to operate tanks get out of here and go back to regular society. You understand me man. All right. So he leaves. He leaves the army and he gets a job on a fishing boat in Panama. Whoa. This shit happens. Yeah. How does that happen. I mean I guess he goes back to San Diego and San Diego is like OK so at that time San Diego things aren't going well. Right. They'll hold everything's fucking shutting down and the plants are shutting down and moving elsewhere. You know and then the cold the cold war has ended. Right. So all of the all of the money we were spending
Starting point is 00:08:07 on fake stuff to fight the fake people. The real people to fight the real to fight their fake stuff is all being shut down. OK. Gotcha. So the real the only thing that remains are the real issues. Right. And I wish my thing. There we go. Right. So he he goes there and then he comes back from Panama and he starts a plumbing company. So far very bizarre. All shit. This is all shit that guys do. Just don't know what to do. True. No one no one is like man I'm a plumber. Boy I just want to work in shit. I just want dirty pipes. I just want people to come to me with their enormous shit problems. That's exactly exactly it. So he got a good reputation. He had a good plumbing company. So things are going
Starting point is 00:08:52 fine. All right. Claremont fine is a relative term. Well Claremont is has a bit of a meth problem because it's well San Diego is one of the it's like where meth came ashore in the States because you know the government the army gave our pilots and other people meth. Is that where it all started. Yeah. The Japanese the Japanese kamikaze's were all on meth. Why do you think they were doing that? You think they were like I love the emperor. They were like I'm going to fly into this thing and then I'm going to go home. That's what I've been led to believe. It was really just they couldn't itch their whole bodies at once. Fuck it. Yeah. So dudes who were like on long bombing runs they'd be like
Starting point is 00:09:43 you know what you need to stay awake for your little yeah. Right there you go. Now why don't you fly that plane into that boat. That's that sound pretty good right. So all those people come back from World War two you know met brought back math and then San Diego was like any any military logistical place was where meth hit ground and just took root. So funny how we don't talk about that enough. No it is strange. Yeah. So so the economy is collapsing because of the end of the Cold War. So then meth just takes off in this place and it's and it's like it's like the it's where all the like tiny houses are like the 1950s houses that aren't that big right that people who have money don't want to live in
Starting point is 00:10:27 so he's in one of those communities just kind of Claremont takes root. Okay. Fucking sweet sweet meth. Yeah. So now he's that is he doubt he's dabbling in meth. He is definitely dabbling in meth. He's enjoying the math. So his kid to the point that his brother says that he in in in like eighty nine eighty eight is now addicted to math. I thought I thought his brother is going to says where he might steal a tank. He's doing so much math. I feel like he just might take a fucking tank. I don't know. In 1990 he has a motorcycle accident. All right. Which I assume has to do with the math. I think it's fair to think that meth's involved. I feel like I feel like motorcycles and mess. It's a bad combo. Let me ask you
Starting point is 00:11:11 this. Yes. Did he drive his motorcycle into a boat. So he's hospitalized for neck and back injuries and he gets into a fight with a security guard in the emergency room. Well those guards are full of shit. I mean who hasn't been in a position where you want to kick one of their asses because he was saying that they were forcing him to get treated without his consent. Which is classic math. I'm fine. Sir. Your spine is sticking out of your side. I am fine. Sir. Going home. Sir. Sir. Going home. You're dragging your spine like a tail sir. Sir. So he sued. He ended up suing the hospital for one point six million. A good number two for the amount of damage. Right. Right. That emotional stress is not easy.
Starting point is 00:12:02 It's fucking hard. It's tough. He cited negligence, assault, battery and false imprisonment. Well. False imprisonment is like petty. It's a hospital. That's kind of the fucking ruse. That's the rub here. They're like stay. If everybody will go from a hospital in a hospital after an accident I was like I'm suing you. Yeah. Or just was like I want to leave. How did you keep me here. Well unfortunately his brain's half out but we got to let him roll. I'm as key as Charlie. The case was dismissed. On what grounds? In the hospital counter sued for six thousand six hundred in medical fees. A reasonable. A reasonable. A reasonable number. Okay. A year one point six million. Yeah. That's gone. But we just want the six grand. Is that.
Starting point is 00:12:50 Well I'm suing you for six hundred grand. So his wife files for divorce in 1990 which a year later which is a bummer. That's a bummer. But marriage is hard. It's hard. It's just in general. Yeah. But when someone's on meth. Yes. It's more difficult. Well and fighting people and you know saying I'm going to sue this hospital. All this stuff. And if like if you're trying to talk you're like look I think there's some problems with our marriage. Let's maybe go to a counselor and talk about stuff. And then the guy's like well there's microphones in the beef in the freezer. It's hard to have that conversation. Which is something that happened to my sister. She had this girl that we grew up with. She moved in with her
Starting point is 00:13:36 when they were in college and came home one day and the girl had taken all of their meat out of the freezer and it had been and my sister like stand over to boyfriend so she came home and this meat had been on the floor for like two days. And it's just like right. And she's like what are you doing. She goes looking for the microphones. It's always the microphone. Really. Yeah. Microphones. Microphones. The holes in the wall. Yeah holes in the wall. That's what she did. She put holes in the wall. We might need to get some patch. And you know what they're not really finding the microphones. They know who baffles me. What would happen if they did find one. If they found a fucking microphone. Oh fuck me. That's
Starting point is 00:14:16 a movie. You know all the NSA stuff now. It can just blow their mind. Oh by the way they can turn on your phones and listen to you. Yeah. Yeah that's actually real. But the problem is it's not this tangible wire in a wall. Right. Right. It's just the phone. It's just the phone. Such a fucker. All right. So sadly both of his parents died of cancer in 1992. Oh boy. So he got a he got a triple it. He gets his wife divorced him. Yeah. He's in pain from all the stuff and then his parents his parents go. He's got one brother left. That's it. So he's just hanging with the one bro. Oh boy. This next door neighbor Karen is a dabbler in math. Oh she's a dabbler. Yeah. And she had one of these houses where
Starting point is 00:14:56 people would get out of jail and then they would all go to her house. It's like a quarter way house to me. But it wasn't like a place where to like rehab. It was a place to like find a guy who has a gun. Like it was the kind of place that you go to if you're like hey I want to go right back to jail. Yeah. How's the quickest way to do that. Go to Karen's get something and then leave. So she had the house where all the criminals went. Right. So he's next door so he's getting more and more into sweet sweet math. That's a horrible circumstance for him to just be next door. You know what but it's convenience. It is if you want to keep doing math which you shouldn't want. You shouldn't want to do. But it's
Starting point is 00:15:39 fun. Interesting enough Karen got her house when her mom died and her mom was a hoarder. And so the reason Karen started doing math was to clean clean. Shut up really. Oh my god I was doing a bit. Everybody starts doing math like man I got to you know I got this plumbing job. I can do it 20 hours. Like everyone's got a reason. There's a big bowling tournament coming up. I'm just going to hit some strikes. You know I got to work on my car. I got to work on my car. I'm going to go fly a plane and do a boat. So I'm just working on that a lot. So sometimes she would see Sean and his friends wrestle in the backyard. I'm sorry. I said sometimes sometimes she would see Sean and his friends wrestle in
Starting point is 00:16:30 the backyard and sometimes they'd be so plowed that they would wrestle and then they'd wake up in mid combat. Well they would like would look like two guys fell asleep cuddling in the backyard like it would be like she said she would go over there to be like two dudes wrapped around each other because they both they're tuckered out. This is when I was like I know so little about math that it's insane. Yeah. So this is his buddy Chris who this happened during one of the wrestling sessions. He got into a physical wrestling match and I ended up breaking his back. He's on the back. Is he back? I heard something crunched. I let go of him. He laid in the ground and told me to call a paramedic and he told me
Starting point is 00:17:44 I don't know what just was said. I just need to go over a couple of things. Yeah. Go ahead. He said broke his back right. So they were wrestling. There's a couple of guys wrestling on math. Yeah. And then one guy broke the other guy's back. So then a guy's back's broken. Yeah. Terrible news. He's laying there. Yeah. And then he basically that guy took off. The guy who broke the back. Yeah. And then Karen saw Sean just laying there because he couldn't get up because his back was back broken. Right. And then she came over and called 911. Oh my God. If all right. And at this point I'm like maybe Obamacare isn't such a good idea. Maybe. Maybe what we need to do here is just look it just it's going to happen anyway. Can
Starting point is 00:18:29 we just film it and put it on TV. Because meth wrestling. Oh my God. I know. Bump fights is yeah. Bump fights to me feels that feels morally staged and weird. Yeah. That is worse. But meth wrestling. But this is people who just I like to wrestle. Yeah. They love math and apparently do it really hard. Why not just give them a little bit of booty to go home with at the end of it. If they win. Yeah. I'm totally on your side. And then Karen comes in. She's the card girl and the and the cleanup girl. Yeah. She calls 911. A lot of teeth on those mats. A lot of teeth are going to be falling out in the meth wrestling line. The bell will ring and two teeth will just drop out of a guy's mouth. I got to
Starting point is 00:19:15 admit other than my my sister's friend I know so little about math. So when I started reading the story I was like this is fucking insane because what they do whether on meth is crazy. It's not just like hang out like heroin you do heroin and then you lay around and you find it till you can find more heroin. Yeah. Yeah. OK. So so he continued with his meth addiction. I guess he healed from the broken back and he was still a plumber. He's still working as a plumber. Right. So then he decides to get into gold. Not a meth decision. No. OK. Now what I say go into gold. You mean jump into a big pool of coins like Scrooge McDuck. That's so much better. I'm saying that he found a piece of gold in his backyard.
Starting point is 00:20:07 OK. All right. All right. And then he decided that was the best place to mine for it. Oh man. That's like what you do when you're 11. Right. You like in the yard you're like there's all this gold. Your mom's like I got to re-sod this. I need more. I'm making a mind. I need more. Eureka mama. So he digs a 17 foot hole. Oh boy. Oh boy. Oh boy. I mean that's big. That's a big hole. It is a big hole. It's a big hole. It's a really big hole. So. So it's like a real OK. He's got sub pumps and he's using chemicals to find the gold. You know like you. I'm sure he's drinking some chemicals every now and then. Some for the doctor. As you're supposed to do. He made a he made a sluice with Dr. Seuss. You know
Starting point is 00:21:02 what a sluice is. He had the sluice with the news. No. All right. So let me explain mining to you. So there are residual alluvial and bench types of deposits mineral deposits. And bench is when the it reaches the stream. You know and then you see all the miners getting it out of the stream. All right. Alluvial is when the gold's been washed away. So it's like been broken away from the load. And then you try to you sift through you try to find it. Sure. And then bench is when you're on math is where it's the mother load. Right. OK. So. So he. I mean. We're betting that he thought he had a bench. OK. So he thinks he has the. I just want to make sure it was not. He thinks he's got the big one. The one
Starting point is 00:21:46 the guy goes it's the mother. Yeah. That's what he's got. So he made. So he made us. So he made a sluice box. Which is the thing that it's got like a little sort of ruffles on the bottom to separate the gold from the OK. From the dirt or the other little rock you see in like you know old mining. Yeah. Traps because the gold particles are heavier so it traps them as the water washes over it. It's it's the kind of thing you use when you when you're shoveling gold out of a mine. All right. Right. So he turned his jacuzzi into a sluice. White trash hall of fame. You're not noticed. I turned my jacuzzi into a gold search and machine. Oh wow. Go and turn on the bubbles. Turn on the jet. Hey we can still
Starting point is 00:22:45 take a dip in it. Oh yeah. Smoking method like muddy jacuzzi like bubbling. Fucking in there. Fucking in there. Yeah. Hold on. Is that gold. No that's your clip. So yeah. I would I would love to have a look at it. I'd love this guy needs his own museum. Well I mean it seems like a weird idea unless you're tweaking and then it's a perfect idea like it all makes sense. No it's a Eureka. At some point he shouted the jacuzzi alone. So tweaking is not something that you do alone. Tweaking isn't. Yeah it's apparently. You have to have a partner. Well you like to bring in people to stuff. Usually you invite people over and you all tweak together or whatever. Sure you do. And but since and since Claremont
Starting point is 00:23:41 is a really depressed place and there's always people around. It's a lot of it's perfect for inviting friends over. Yeah for a good tweak. So I feel like something's about to happen. No I mean I don't want to say that. We went forward on the thing. OK. So he starts inviting people over and to help with the mine. So OK go ahead. Let me stop you right there if I made it. So he's inviting other meth addicts who undoubtedly need money to help him find the gold in his backyard under what we'll call the honor system. OK so it's just one of those. I trust you man. Well it looks like a real mine. It he had he had it isn't like a fucking hole in the ground. He has no it's huge. If you look down it the
Starting point is 00:24:42 sides are well crafted. You know these are the metal or wood. Besides there's a pulley yeah to pull up the stuff. It looks like a professional mine because I think that's what tweakers do. Like I don't think they're like I'm going to dig a hole. Yeah they're fucking worker. So right and he's got skills right. He's a plumber he built. Yeah yeah so he is actually created because when I kept hearing home then I saw pictures of his like well that's a fucking real deal. It's a fucking mine. His neighbors. Jesus Christ. Day one they're like this will end soon. Eventually like what the fuck is going on over there. Give a team. OK so. Now so first the tweakers came over because he was like hey man you
Starting point is 00:25:30 can get in on the gold with me and then we'll all have a bunch of gold at the end and then we'll smoke it away. It's going to be fucking great and then we'll buy a boat. Like which is weird already because if I find gold in my backyard I don't tell anyone. Nobody. No I swear to God. Nobody. I mean maybe like your dad. Yeah. Or your brother. Yeah yeah yeah. But you're not going like come on come on with a great gold rush on Maple Street. Share a mine. Yeah yeah. Come on down to Claremont. No. Get in on the community mine. No gold is a cave man. OK so here's the here's the here's the here's the hitch to come and work in the mine. You got to bring some math. Oh interesting wrinkle. I like I like. So people are bringing
Starting point is 00:26:19 math and then they're getting high and digging in the mine together. He should just have never even worried about gold. Just set up the system where people just bring a math to go dig. Hey bring me some math you can go look for gold in my yard but there doesn't need to be the gold. That's the red herring. Oh there's that math I cool man. Let's take a rip and then you can go dig up my yard. Let me know when you find the gold. Tell your friends come over we're having a digging camp. Math though. Math has to be brought. Oh fuck. He was also so now he's also still working a little bit. Of course. That's what you want to hear. And a neighbor said. He installed a hot water heater for me and talked about mineral rights.
Starting point is 00:27:09 And then again he installed a hot water heater for me and talked about mineral rights. He was going to sell his house for a million dollars because he had all this gold and oil in his yard. I don't know where the oil part came from. Yeah. It's insinuated. I thought he was a little odd a little cookie but he was a nice man and he gave me a nice price. Oh god. While he's down there like yeah you know what you got to do. You got to dig up your yard. I think there might be silver. There's probably gold in there and if there is there's oil to give them their brothers. They are totally brothers and brothers they live together in your gym yard. OK so he was also at the same time teaching the tweakers
Starting point is 00:27:54 to be plumbers. Oh my god. So now they have carpentry skills. So other people were bringing him meth and if they got him high then he would teach him how to be plumbers. I mean can you imagine how fucking great this house was. Just next door. Next door I would have to have a fucking binoculars. Clang clang clang. You don't know what the noise is coming from the mine or the sink. Our teeth getting just chipped out. What the fuck is it. I think they're smoking meth and digging again. So a tweaker would generally stay for three weeks or a month before they realized the mine wasn't going to lead to anything and that they weren't going to become plumbers and then they move on and then more tweakers would come. It was
Starting point is 00:28:35 just then they go to their next pyramid scheme too. I saw a couple of news reports and both guys were like god known for like three weeks like it was. But you live here. Yeah I live here but I know them about three weeks. And then tragedy strikes. Someone stole all of Sean's plumbing tools. Jesus. Now I don't know who would do that. Well it couldn't have been one of the tweakers. They have the honor system. Right. Who in this world would steal the plumbing tools. Not the not the tweakers. No. So that must have been a rough day to be like one of your first days there when the tools got stolen. Oh my god. This always happened. Why are we using a fork. His neighbors if you can believe this filed a noise complaint
Starting point is 00:29:25 with police. Why because he built a mine. Jesus Christ. Have some respect. He built a tweaker mine. And Sean filed a complaining it's a police for harassment. I'm pretty. I would love to know if there was a price tag on it. Right. OK. So in February of 1995 he filed a notice informing the county of his plans to mine bedrock in his backyard. OK. So he was basically staking a claim with the city. And the city was like yeah. You don't need to do that. You own that. That's what a claim is. And so we don't do that. And you could just go dig in your backyard. And Sean was like you take my fucking claim. Like he was super mad. OK. Sure. They refused to accept his claim. And the city was going. Yeah. It's
Starting point is 00:30:26 not a thing. It's 1995. Just go do it man. People who can make pools and stuff like you can get your backyard. You totally just go have a matter to accept the claim. No it's your your plan to talk to the sheriff. I want to fight him for his badge like we do. OK. There's no sure we have police. I'll have to talk to the sheriff and I'll meet him in the town square at high noon. None of this is a thing. We will shoot each other. OK. So. So now that's February between February and May is when shit gets really dark. Yeah. It feels like we're headed that way. So Karen said he was really desperate to prove that the mine was real because his friends are starting to be like no gold down there. I
Starting point is 00:31:17 wonder why. Do you think it's because there's no gold. He was no he was pulling yellow colored rock out of the mine. Gold. He started taking gold out of the mine. Wait. Wait. He was pulling. He was taking gold out of them. All right. It was gold. All right. Now around now around the same time a couple of teenage kids from the neighborhood were coming around to collect money from Sean teenage kids. Yeah. It doesn't sound good because they had been selling him I guess on credit scrap gold. Wait. Yeah. What do you mean. Well like the way teenagers get scrap gold. Right. OK. From like houses or their parents. Why is he buying it. That's interesting. That's an interesting question. Why is this man with all this real gold buying
Starting point is 00:32:16 scrap gold though. So he was taking the scrap gold and melting it and putting it in the mine. Oh dear. Oh boy. And the web gets sticky because he wanted to convince more triggers to come over to dig and his friends want to come in. It was real. This is now. This now feels like the methiest plan ever. It makes so little sense. It's like you could just take the gold. Yeah. Why don't you just go steal from my house. Yeah. Why are you doing this elaborate mind. It makes no sense. The mind sucks all the money and time you're spending on the mind. You could just cut out the middle mind and go and get the math. Why. Why the fake gold. Why the fake the fake gold makes it all crazy. At no point did he stop and
Starting point is 00:33:20 go wait a minute. There's an easy way to get math. Yeah. No. Yeah. I'll just take all this time money and resource searching and I'll just put that towards getting math. It's like no I need to buy gold for the mine I dug. What. You trust me. That way the tweakers will dig for the real gold. Wait what. Oh God. I just love their teenage kids like yeah okay man we'll help you out. Yeah. You know you look like a guy we could do this on credit with. Yeah. Hey man where's our six hundred bucks for all the fake gold. Oh no it's in the mind. You want to dig for it. No I know we know the deal. We know the deal asshole. You guys could dig if you. All right cool. No wait a minute. Wait a minute. No no no
Starting point is 00:34:00 I fell for this before. Yeah I dug here for three weeks once. Oh Jesus. So Sean at this time noticed that helicopters were chasing him. Oh boy. And he knew it was because the government was trying to get the middle rights to his property. Well the government knows they've got. They wouldn't take the claim would they. Well they wouldn't take the fucking claim. And this is why. Yeah. They know it's a good hot spot. And even though they know where he lives they're going to follow around town in helicopters. Obviously. Because they're going to see where he's going. To. Do. Make sure that he still has the hole in his yard. Just trust us. Everyone's on math. Everybody. Okay. So now it's April. It's not a good month.
Starting point is 00:34:48 It's nine months into the mine. And no actual gold show. Lots of scrap gold. He also hasn't paid his mortgage in nine months. I wonder why. Why do you think that is. Oh wait nine months nine months. Let me do the math here. I think the mine might be a taking away from the mortgage. A little bit. A little bit. Yeah. His utilities are shut off. He has no more plumbing tools to do any work with. So he can't run his jacuzzi gold finder. Yeah right he has no power. No water. Nothing. He's just a guy with a hole in the ground. And at this point his friends were like dude enough. We get it. We're totally tweakers too. But even for us this seems weird. Nobody's dug in that mine more than me man. Yeah. But I'm telling
Starting point is 00:35:39 you I think it's time to stop the mine dream. So in April he went down into the mine and he saw a god. Oh okay. Now this makes sense. And there was a pyramid. Okay. Oh boy. And in the pyramid there was a dragon. Okay. Sure. And he. So he quit meth at this point. Yeah he finished with meth. Okay. I just want to make sure meth's not involved in any of this. And he and his friend Chuck were supposed to fight the dragon. Chuck. Right. Have I told you about Chuck? I don't think I've heard specifically about Chuck. Okay. So Chuck is like the only guy who is now hanging in there. He still sees the dream. Well I think that Chuck and Sean sort of see things on the same level. Yeah. So here's Chuck. I'm excited.
Starting point is 00:36:36 I'll say between 80 and 84 there was an article that came out saying about a machine that a bunch of people apartment owners down in Bay Park and a group in Las Vegas they all had to go there and bought this machine. More of a kind. And basically what it is it's a machine. I don't know how it works but it's got this sphere that has all these points that pulse laser. You know you can. Digital technology was it optical digital technology. Okay. You know what subliminal is right? Okay. This particular optical digital technology is very capable of producing the same kind of thing. It's being pulsed on laser but you're mind you're subconscious of digital. It picks it up. So it can literally be programming
Starting point is 00:37:24 you. Subliminally. Right. One day you wake up and all of a sudden your morals that used to be over here and you don't even know if they've changed. It's been a bad one. I read that in the library. Sean. I read that in the library. He read that in the library. Just so you're wondering where he came up with that idea. Yes. Because he's cleaning on drugs. He read it in the library. In the digital laser section. There are so many great things that were just said. Can I give you my two favorite. Yup. Yup. A sphere with points. Uh huh. Wait. Do you mean a triangle? No. I mean a sphere with points. Okay. And when you're in the middle of a conversation of this nature. Uh huh. For the question.
Starting point is 00:38:19 You know what subliminal is? It can be asked. Is crazy. You're talking about a ball of light that shoots lasers that you get the only one of. You know what turkey is. Okay. Cool. Let's keep going. Okay. Because that's good to cover it. You'll see. I'm going to wrap that around. That's basically just I want to make sure that you're a human who's grown up. You know what subliminal is. All right. Good. Holy shit. So. So Sean. So he gets it. Well Sean is having these. I'm going to call them paranoid delusions. I'm going to call them visions of a visionary. So he is having these delusions of helicopters following MSF and Chuck is there to say, Hey man, there's this machine that some apartment owners bought.
Starting point is 00:39:06 That's my favorite thing in the whole thing. By the way, who bought this machine but you got your own buildings. My landlord. Landlord. It'll help them rent unused units. So Chuck is around for all the government stuff and the weird stuff. And he's not a good not a good friendship. No, this guy is not the best guy. It's not a good influence. Nope. Nope. So he said that at times Sean would be on one side of town and he'd hear people talking about something and then he'd go to the other side of town and different people would be talking about the same thing. Like a sporting event. At first he thought it was a coincidence, but it kept happening and happening. So it wasn't a coincidence. No. Was it? No. It
Starting point is 00:39:57 was what is known as news. You believe that Bloomberg, huh? Yeah, I know the worst. You believe that Bloomberg? Oh my God. No, the Bloombergs are following me. I know the charge. I can't believe the charges missed that field goal. Chuck is having similar things happen to him. Oh, what? Okay. I started having weird visions. What do you see? At one point, yeah, I really did. At one point, I really wondered if I was okay. This is why you're using crystal. I was using crystal at the time. Yeah. One question. I just have one. I just have one follow up. You know what subliminal is? Okay. I mean, right? Yeah, not good. No, none of the who's
Starting point is 00:41:25 recording all this shit. They did. They did a weird documentary on this, but it wasn't like it focused on the area, not the people. It focused more on like, check out this suburb. Like it was very weird. A place to not move. A city you don't want to be in. So they sound good. They sound good together, right? I don't feel like anyone's going to take a tank. So in April, Sean's living girlfriend dies of a drug overdose. Jesus. I mean, that's surprising. It's surprising that he had a girlfriend. He also filed two damage claims against the city for $2 million because they dug a mine in his yard. One of them was for police negligence. Okay. I guess because his girlfriend died of drugs, right? And the other one was for
Starting point is 00:42:16 false arrest. I'm assuming they came in and arrested him. Probably arrested him was just bullshit because he's him. So that's illegal. You can't arrest the mine digger. He can't arrest the arrestable. So now he has been digging for 10 months, May, and they foreclose on his house. Which is shocking. Yeah, shocking. Also a problem because that's where he keeps the mine. Yeah. And the next person is going to look at the house. He's going to be like, Oh, it's great. I love this closet. I'm sorry. Is there a mine out back? It's a three bedroom and it comes with a sluice and a mine. Look at that. I'm sorry. Is it a sluice and a mine? Yes. Oh my God. Honey, this would be great. You can turn this into your dark room. Wait
Starting point is 00:42:58 a minute. What'd you say a mine? And a sluice. Yep. That hot tub is actually not a hot tub. It's what we call a sluice. It's a golden dirt divider. The previous tenant fought dragons down there and talked to God. All at no extra charge. No extra charge. God lives down there. Start as the dragon. You'll fight him with your friend check, but that's all included. So they foreclose on his home at dusk on May 18, 1995, Sean got into a Chevy van with his personalized license plates that said, come on, K-A-N-F-I-X. What? Can fix. And he drove to the armory in Claremont on the north side of San Diego. Can fix. He was shirtless. Who's got time for his shirt? He drove onto the armory. Just like that. This is right after
Starting point is 00:44:04 this is like right after Oklahoma City. Yeah. Oklahoma City happened that summer, right? So yeah, they had no security in place. Good. He just drove right on and his credentials weren't checked. They weren't even required. He just gave a wave, I assume. With no shirt. And he drove over to the tanks and just started trying to get into tanks. Jesus Christ. So the tanks are padlocked. I mean, can you imagine where you need to be to be like, I'm going to go take a fucking tank. Then you just drive over. Drive and do it. Imagine. Marica. I mean, why are we hated? Oh God. He just. You know, I think I'm going to go steal a tank. Hey, so he broke into two tanks, but he couldn't start them. Okay, so here's
Starting point is 00:45:06 the scene. Because they were stick. There's a shirtless guy in sweatpants and tennis shoes trying to start tanks and nobody notices. Nobody is like, well, that's weird. It's one of those things that perhaps was so crazy looking that they were like has to be legit. He's got to be a tank man or something. I wish that was true. But it turns out that everyone is off the clock at five and six PM. So they had all got home. There was no one there. Oh God. So the third tank works. That's the third one's a charter. He fires it up and rumbles over the chain link fence and drives out with a 60 ton tank. A man on meth who's talked to God is now driving a tank. Okay, so no, you ask you ask what he's doing, right? What
Starting point is 00:45:53 is he doing, David? That's an interesting question. That's one that came from the heart of it. Let's check. So he's going to drive to city hall in his tank. And then he's going to demand to be able to make a statement. I have a statement to make. What is your statement? First of all, claims should be given in this city. All right, take him out. Now I know that you're all thinking, why should we listen to this guy with two teeth and no shirt and a tank that he stole? My second point is you should be able to wrestle with a broken back. Point number three, God is awesome. Dragons are dicks. Point four, spheres with points are subliminally giving us morals. Do you know what subliminal is? Okay, the
Starting point is 00:47:08 tanks weapons, a 105 millimeter cannon, a 1.27 millimeter aircraft gun, a 7.26 millimeter machine gun were not loaded. So we can be thankful that they were not okay that the not National Guard wasn't so stupid to just keep them laying around arm. I really thought I mean, I'm amazed that they weren't. That is amazing. It is fucking amazing. That is amazing. You would think, right? You would think. Yes. Somebody's side work would be load the tanks, go to bed. But the M 68 three tank can reach a speed of 45 miles an hour. And it weighs 16 tons. And it can travel 300 miles on a full tank, which it had. So meaning it can crush tons of shit. Yeah, which is what happened. So he's just crushing. I mean,
Starting point is 00:48:04 you've seen the videos. He's we didn't crush homes. He crushed cars, mobile homes. You went through a lot of mobile homes around the street. He the greatest thing is when he goes over the fire hydrants and then they just squirt up. But he also gets caught like in between a freeway. That's the end. Yeah, that's the end. So and me and while this is happening, the cops are like, Hey, there's no way to stop a tank. Here's the thing about tanks. Hey, I'm looking in the manual police manual. And I'm not seeing tank. Hey, can we shoot the tires out? How does that work? We've laid out some spikes, maybe. So they're calling the National Guard going, Hey, how do we stop a tank? Hey, guys, no guards going
Starting point is 00:48:49 off the clock, bro. I got off at six. So the police just started clearing roads. If he went on a road, they would just try and clear it as fast as they could. So he wouldn't run over anybody in a car. Yeah. He ran 40 vehicles. Attempted to hit all the police cars pursuing him. He plowed into bridges. He took out utility poles, fire hydrants, signal lights, leaving a huge power outage and traffic jams. All of this. Did he kill anyone? He did not kill anybody. He only hit one car that had a van that had a lady or kid in it, but they didn't get hurt. Okay. This is my favorite quote of the entire business. This is a guy who saw him. So his little head is out of the tank. He's just having the fucking time of his life.
Starting point is 00:49:55 He looked like he was having fun. He finally hit. So he he was trying to lose the cops and he's on the freeway and he wanted to go over the other side so they couldn't follow him. He really wanted to make a U. E. U. E. Yeah. Flip a U. E. So he tried to go over the cement divider, but because he hit it sideways instead of going like more at a straight angle, yeah, it got stuck. So then he's he's caught. Yeah, can't move. He can't move. Well, he could. Okay. So the the cops jump up with bolt cutters and they've got a mechanic from the base with them. I like that they're attacking a tank with bolt cutters. I guess that's how you get in. Yeah, they're like, All right, got the bolt cutters. Who's ready?
Starting point is 00:50:47 So he refused to surrender or relinquish controls and a cop fired one shot. Well, I can tell you this. So I read this on a on a website where a guy said, I used to work with a guy. So when when he when the tank is stopped, two cops jump up on top and then there's a guy in a Hawaiian shirt alongside him and you're like, Okay, so that's like a that's a party guy or maybe there's a guy when it comes out. It's like, who's that guy? It turns out that guy is a mechanic from the base. I guess in uniform mid Lou out. We're having a white party. I gotta go. A guy stole a tank. Don't do limbo without me. Okay, the guy in the Hawaiian shirt opening the tank hatch worked for me in 97. His name is Palmer. He was he
Starting point is 00:51:42 was working on his personal car on his day off at the National Guard motorpool. So he has his day off yet wink, wink, working on his car, stealing equipment. So the cops and MPs roll up. He's the only one there. And so he jumps in the car with them to help if he can do anything. When the tank hit the barrier, Palmer and two CHP officers jumped on the tank. Palmer quickly opened the emergency hatch. As soon as he opened it, one CHP officer weapon drawn started screaming for the guy to get his hands out of the controls. Palmer says, Hey, cops, I can get the guy out without you having to shoot him. It's no big deal. And he keeps saying this and tapping the cop on the shoulder, which you can see in the
Starting point is 00:52:27 video, trying to trying to get the cop to move aside so we can get in there and get the guy out. Then the guy in the tank looks up at the officer with what Palmer described as a blank uncaring stare. And then reach back for the controls. The officer shot down, hit him in the shoulder. The bullet entered between the left collarbone and pierced his heart and he died in seconds. Jesus Christ. And of meth run. Wow. That's I can't believe they that's such blood. That's what I hate that. Yeah, I do hate that because how great would it be if he was alive? It would be great if he was alive. It would be great to know I not even for the sake of the fact that he shouldn't be killed because he didn't have
Starting point is 00:53:16 to be killed, which is totally a huge part of this. Yeah, and happens too much. But yeah, we could be like, walk us through it. What was it like when you were smiling? Yeah, I know you could talk to a guy who was just destroying a town with a tank and having a fucking great time. And this is just a layman. This is not a man who this is how you want. If you're ever going to drive a tank, this is really how you want it to play out. You don't have to go through all the fucking training and learn all the bull. You just want to go in there and fucking have a little video game. Do it. Yeah, just go do it. He was seriously playing Grand Theft Auto before Grand Theft Auto came around. The state of California
Starting point is 00:53:59 paid 149,000 to cover property damage. It moved all the tanks out of the National Guard Armories and relocated them to Camp Roberts and San Luis Obispo and Fort Ordo Barstow. But again, the solution would be just don't have fuel in the fucking tanks. They took batteries out. They took the batteries out of the tank. Okay, good. But you could do that and keep them there. Yeah. Yeah. The National Guard was considered negligent, which I cannot believe. No. Why? Because they get an hour of downtime, complete downtime. The state eventually paid damage claims to 20 individuals, companies in the city. The payout included 10,000 for Pacific Bell. I love that that they paid 10,000 to the. The bike is
Starting point is 00:54:46 on the telephone line. Yeah, they keep knocking out light poles. Really? What the fuck? Hey, I added it on the bill. Don't you fucking turn my utilities off, fuckers. I got a tank now. A coroner's investigator said Nelson smelled of alcohol. Sean Nelson liked rum. Listen, I call the mad relice Nelson earlier. It's a good rum. So fucking smelled like I mean, I mean, meth. Yeah. How? Because you you had seen that a million times. Yes. But the story leading up to it is fucking insane. So don't you think in a way it is almost like it's almost the because nobody died except for it's almost the best way to go out. It is the greatest way to go out because nobody died. He actually I mean, everyone
Starting point is 00:55:37 got money for their stuff. Yeah. I mean, sure you're you couldn't maybe take that vacation you're planning your motor home or your car was crushed. You got a hell of a story. You couldn't you didn't have power for a couple of days. But looking back on it, you get to say that dude crushed our car. And you know what happens as soon as he goes to heaven. He sees God. He sees the dragon. And they're like, we did not think you were going to fucking do it, bro. You are the man. Holy shit. When I talked to you in that mine, I was like, no way does he pull this off. You left him. We were like, yeah, right. We'll talk when he gets the tank. I mean, Jesus, you're the real deal, brother. You're the real fucking
Starting point is 00:56:16 deal. I guess that I guess tweaking does permanent damage because Chuck seems like he's still there even though he's not on drugs anymore. Oh, yeah, totally. Oh, you mean like your part? Yeah, you're permanently rewires you totally. Is your cousin rewired? Is he off of it? Well, he wasn't even math. He was just schizophrenic. But I have other cousins who or relatives who have done that. And yeah, I mean, you you really are eventually you're just dealing with like a language. It would be like sitting down with a Martian. Yeah. And you being like, yeah, my girlfriend does this. And he'd be like, oh, well, the railroad's trying to kill me. You'd be like, okay, okay, well, we both have things. I'm going to go
Starting point is 00:56:55 over there. Shall we split a meal? I think we could agree on food, right? But yeah, it's watching me. Yeah. As he digs through his wires. Because then he maybe might not be a great because it would be great. He would be a great. Where are they now? Great. You know, and he turns out he's in a band now. And you know what else? I mean, what I love is when people go and do like motivational speaking tours about how they turn their lives around. Oh my God, he's a better guy. He'd be the best. He'd be like my rock bottom. My rock bottom was about 15 years ago when I stole a tank and got it caught on a free freeway medium. After after my gold mine went bust. By the way, I was drunken on meth
Starting point is 00:57:36 at the time and got in a dragon and told me to do it. Can you sit down? You can wait to go to the bathroom for a minute on and my speech is called can do. This is why you can do anything you put your mind to just make sure your mind's put to something right. Holy fuck. He's my favorite. It's great. It's really is a shame that he's dead. It's great. I mean, yeah, it's almost better this way because otherwise he would have just lived probably a wasted life. Probably. But there's always the hope that this would have been his bottom. Oh, well, if not, I would love to see his bottom. He would definitely be going to jail. Yes. Who knows for how long. I like I don't know how I don't know if they have that if
Starting point is 00:58:19 there's a if there's a statute where they're like, uh, so you stole. What's the sense for stealing? What did the forefathers say about tank theft? Do we have that anywhere? Also, when you're in jail, hard to find a crew. Hard to find a crew. That's the Aryans. That's the blank pat their brotherhood. Those guys are the molesters. Where do the tank people sit? Is there a table of tank folk? There's just one guy's chomping on a cigar over here. I fucked a tank. That'll do. That's my boy. It's my guy right there. All right. Well, yeah, good. Oh, boy. Okay. Here we go. Hi there, dollar people. This is Gareth, not Gary. Gareth enough already. I've got some stand updates I wanted to keep you updated
Starting point is 00:59:15 on. Join me on the road. We're having a lot of laughs. March 13. I will be at Summit City Comedy in Fort Wayne, Indiana Tuesday, March 14. I'll be at Helium Comedy Club in Indian apolis, March 15. Wednesday, I'll be at the Louisville Comedy Club in Louisville, Kentucky. March 16. I'll be at the Columbus Funny Bone in Columbus, Ohio. Dayton, Ohio, March 17, Friday at the Funny Bone. March 18. I'll be at the Funny Bone in Perrysburg, Ohio. And that's two shows that night. March 19. I will be at Hilarity's and it'll be Hilarious in Cleveland, Ohio. March 21. I'll be in Lexington, Kentucky. I'm drunk at Comedy Off Broadway. March 22. I will be in St. Louis at the Galleria. March 23. I will be at the Comedy Club of
Starting point is 01:00:01 Kansas City. And Friday, March 24. I'll be in Des Moines, Iowa. Same with March 25, Saturday, Des Moines, Iowa. And then March 26. I'll be at the Funny Bone in Omaha, Nebraska. Also April 12. The Tacoma Comedy Club. I told you I was drunk. And then April 13. I will be in Spokane. And then April 14. And April 15. I will be in Bozeman, Montana at Last Best Comedy. You can go to garethrenalds.com for all that ticket information. So come join me on the road. garethrenalds.com. We're having laughs. I'm drunk.

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