The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 600 - Elon Musk with Karen Kilgariff - part one

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine rich guy Elon Musk with guest Karen Kilgariff Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace Mindbloom Helix Sleep  Code: HELIXPARTNER20.    

Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners go to helix sleep.com slash dog and use code helix partner 20 This is their best offer yet and it won't last long with helix better sleep starts now Hey, you just want to put out there for a little litigious people everything in this podcast from henceforth is alleged in this podcast from henceforth is alleged. You're listening to the dollop. This is an American History Podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a man. 600 times, Garrett Reynolds, who is a man.

Yes. Hello. So, man. Who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. And this is the 600th episode. This is the 600th episode. This is why we have a guest. We almost clapped, but then.

Almost clapped. You know, I've never allowed it. It allowed to make any noise yet, because you have not been introduced. Yes. Go ahead. This guest we have is a special old friend. Jesus. This is dark. Why are you here when she was working at the gap? Oh my God.

A return guest. The best guest? Maybe. Let's just say, let's just put Patton down a peg because he can get a little cocky. Yeah. And little Anderson, both of them go down a peg. Best guest. Karen Kylgara, Karen Kylara.

Yeah, that's right. It's Barbie, Aura, baby. All the boys, guest, automatically suck. Yeah. And the girl guests are number one. Yeah. Fuck you, Dave. It's true. Get ready to be eaten alive on Twitter Everybody. Yeah, yeah, it's over Twitter's a safe space. It's over and by the way

It's X have a little respect you to the guy change the name and none of the branding get on board It's really hard to say X and have anyone know what you're talking about though. It's true Yeah, no nobody knows absolutely nobody knows I about though. It's true. Yeah, nobody knows. Absolutely nobody knows. I bought a pizza called it X. Yeah, so the same difference. Same everything. Same roof.

I went up to visit my family in Petaluma and my nephew. We were going hiking and my sister was like, why are you about your friend? He goes, I can't. And he goes, I can't because Dave's here. Oh wow. And I was like, why are you about your friend? He goes, I can't. And he goes, I can't because Dave's here. Oh wow. And I was like, what? How is this guy? He goes, she knows your friends are Karen Kulgera

and she just won't stop asking questions. So I'm gonna feel good. Oh, wait, you want to relieve, you're like, Oh, I thought you were. You know as much, what? I mean, I ex, I'm barred from meeting friends of my nephew because of you. You're welcome.

That is, you're on that level. That's wild. No, everyone can hang out with anyone I know. It's not going to be a problem. It's not going to be an issue. People are free to socialize. Yes, there will never be a like, oh, you know, Gareth. That won't happen.

That doesn't happen at all. All right. What were they protecting you from? A series of questions? Yes, and the question. Yes, she was just going to keep launching questions at me. Which is weird, because I actually do height groups where I exclusively talk about you from the idea of height.

Yeah, I do. I do a preliminary. I did my 15 of those. I'm doing a tour at the end of the room. I do whatever summer. It does pretty well. To be honest, a lot of it I think it made up. I don't know you as well as Dave, but I love it. Yeah, yeah, I don't like hiking. Yeah, you know, yeah, yeah

Here we go theme song. Oh no I called it quote is jam patch Jim and I'm the fucking hippo guy Dave okay, I'm Gary. What is it? Is it far fine? And this is not gonna come a tickly podcast. Yeah Part Is it far five? And this is not gonna come a tickley podcast. Yeah. This is like an un-unified part of the fish. Far from the planet! Now hit him with the puppy.

You both present sick arguments. No, sleep down. That's like that hip hop. Action, part. I can't. No, I sleep down my friend. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

We, the dollop of R you in part by Squarespace. What is Squarespace? You ask, well, I'm going to tell you, Gareth, it is Domain's websites, online stores, marketing tools, analytics, all at one. First of all, I don't need to be told. You do, I just told you. I know, Dave, because we've been using Squarespace

for a long time. You use it for your stupid little website. I use it for my amazing website. We use it for the fantastic dollop website, even the sources page. That's right. You can go to dolloppodcast.com and get all your tour information and your ticketing links and things like that. Garrett, they also have marketing tools.

I don't know if it's like that because Garrett, you use have marketing tools. I don't know if it's going to be that, because you use email marketing, you use SEO tools, Google search, console, e, SEO panel, i, social media integration, banners and promotions. Garrett, tell us about how you use the SEO tools. Okay, so the SEO tools is basically how you can make a robot in your bathroom at home. And with the tools that there, this is what we're talking about, right? Nope, Gareth, SEO tools, look, every Squarespace website and online store comes with a suite of integrated features and useful guides that help maximize prominence among search results.

That's what I was looking for. It's hard to do this with you. Well, I'll tell you, side note, I have a robot living in my bathroom who I built and is starting to kind of react probably towards me. Okay, so, Gareth. Gareth, this is about Squarespace. This is, as nothing to do with your robot situation.

Websites. It's about, you know, just online websites and domains and yeah online stores marketing tools analytics that that kind of stuff they do it all as what we're saying your robot stuff is not helpful Squarespace specifically said yeah yeah make gareth stop talking about the robots and not helpful to me either because it's it's sort of a this This is what Squarespace said, they said, please. Like a Frank, it's just like you're talking about the robots. In a bad way. Look, go to squarespace.com slash dog for a free trial.

And when you're ready to launch, you use the Alpha Code dog to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. And no robots, it's just websites and stuff. We are also brought to you in part by mind bloom. Mind bloom, of course, ketamine therapy for fellas, ladies. I don't think they're doing cats, they should. Kiddy mean, that's what they call it.

That's our people to do with their anxiety and their depression. The girth, of course, could probably use some ketamine therapy. I would like him to get some. You know some. There's no quick fix for anxiety and depression. You can't just start working out or eating right

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When you sign up at minbloom.com slash dollop and use promo code dollop, take the first step and break free from your anxiety and depression with minebloom. minbloom.com slash dollop, use promo code dollop. That com slash dollop use promo code dollop that's mind bloom set promo code dollop thanks everybody you're not helpful that's over all the way i had cool i didn't sing the theme song

what theme song i think you're i think she's in the theme isn't she she's wondering what i must want to your wonderful little queer clips i am the steve mart Martin to the SNL of this podcast. Wow. Big bold. I'm more fuck than Henry. Oh, wow. No way.

I'm the fuck Henry asshole. No, you're on 28th, 1971. Are you ready? Yeah, yeah. 1971. You ready? Yeah, yeah, 1971. Ooh.

Elon Reeve Must. No, oh my God. Oh my God. Oh, man. Was born in Patoria, South Africa. Mm. His father, Arrow, was an engineer. His mom may, a model in the dietician.

Well, I'm really still kind of calibrating myself as to what the subject matter is. His maternal grandfather was Joshua Norman Haldeman, born in Piquat, Minnesota in 1902. Up in where your people are from? What's happening? Northern Weirdos. His father died when he was seven.

Joshua's father. Okay. And then his mom married an Englishman who taught and owned a lot of land and then they moved to Canada. That is your story. This is, is this me? This is your story.

Joshua and I don't know why or it may not be true, which you'll understand when I read the source, but he had health problems that caused his eyes to quote fail several times. His eyes failed. true which you'll understand when I read the source but he had health problems that caused his eyes to quote fail several times. His eyes failed. Sure.

You're failing eyes. That was blind? Sometimes you'll just go blind. Right. So this is a blind guy with great PR. This is gossip. Yeah, this is page six all the way. Yeah.

I hear his eyes are failing. Oh my God. You've seen him looking at stuff. It doesn't even know what he's looking at. His eyes are failing. That feels like what they'd say, like, at a presidential press conference. Like, I understand the president's blind.

President's not playing. His eyes are failing, and it's totally different. There's more distance to fail. Yeah. So we're not all the way at the bottom yet. That's right. So they said that only chiropractic visits help. Oh my God. This information came. I tried great PR. It came from that only chiropractic visits help. This is the information King.

This is the chiropractor had great PR. It came from the Canadian chiropractor. He had to get his eyes spines and just... I spines. You imagine chiropracting eyes. Click. Ow! Does that feel bad?

Should. Did you see? They're cracking. One of them is very juicy. Yeah, that one. You held a lot of tension in that one eye. Yeah. Now that I see it flattened.

Um, don't, it doesn't sound like migraines maybe? What, there's eyes, I don't know. What are your eyes are failing? Like you, like you probably, cause you can, you can have problems with your eyes when you get migraines. Right. And then a chiropractor might be fine.

You can also go blind. Also chiropractor can break your neck. Oh, did I ever tell you this will be really fast? No, this is good for my hike. Okay, great. Take this right back to the fucking night. Yeah, this will be great. One time I had a really bad pain in my back, my mother,

who yes, she had Alzheimer's, so I should have taken that into consideration. She was just at the beginning, though. And she was like, oh, I'm gonna make you an appointment with my chiropractor. And I was like, no, because my number one fear is that real fast net crack that they do. I don't want that. She was care. I know be so dramatic. So she makes me this appointment. And I go in and I'm, and he's doing the thing. He's just kind of touching my shoulders and touching my neck. Yeah, you go a lot of tension here, here, here, and here. And then you just real quick slides, one can kind of across my collarbone,

the other one up to my chin, then he just goes, just, now, inhale, exhale, relax, any fucking does it. Yeah. The second his hand touched my chin, the other hand came around. I was like, you have to relax, which is a bad way to relax. It's by yelling at yourself. I was like, do not fight this or you will like do some serious fucking damage to yourself.

How was it? Horrifying. Did it feel good at the end? He cracked it. No. It felt like... How are your eyes? Oh, I had 20, 37 visions. Woohoo!

Yeah. Is that good or bad? That's very good. It's good. Yeah, that's better. Yeah. I like the friend. We had a friend whose father or grandfather was paralyzed by a cracker. Cracking his neck.

She's nightmare. It's not natural. No. That's a tough one. That's so good. That's a tough walk. Are we trying to figure out if Elon Musk's great grandfather had like a brain tumor? Great grandfather.

Great grandfather. Great grandfather. Every relative of his is great. No, grandfather. This is grandfather. To be fair. No, not a brain tumor, but just like a condition. I wouldn't say, because you can't brain tumors.

You can't fix. I think it's like a brain tumor. You hold a lot of tension in that tumor. Let me just get to C7 and C9 here. It's stressing me out. Yeah, of course it is. Hold a lot of tension in that area where your brain should be, but there's a big growth.

I like it, practically, just like digging into my brain and squeezing it. There you go. Hold a lot of tension there. Can you get rid of the trivia? There. So Joshua grows up and he's a farmer. He's a horse guy, rides in rodeos.

He's a centaur? Yes. He learns to fly planes. So he's like a fun man's man. Sure. In his early 20s he goes and gets a degree in chiropractor business. Chiropractor. Chiropractor. But after that he goes back to farming. So he just has the degree and then the depression comes and he loses the farm because he can't make payments on all the loans on the equipment. I'm not sure about that. And that he hates banks. Oh wait. He doesn't stand banks and he goes into politics. Okay. Going to Matthew Sweet in the Sunday times, he became involved in the group techno tech tech technology incorporated techno come come come come they believed scientists and

engineers should run North America and replace democracy and capitalism with the technique a techno utopia wow and this was in the 30s 20s is in the 20s unless yeah depression 30s I'm listening this is this is it's just randomly Elon Musk's yeah grandfather, but back then by technology they meant and oven with a timer on it. Yeah, but that was a Back then it was just a bell I heard the future over there. This will keep your bread fresh.

Whoa. Whoa. So the technates were encouraged to wear double-breasted gray suits and paint their cars gray. Some members replaced their names with single numbers. Oh boy.

I'm already, I'm kind of moving out of this one. I'm hearing some stuff I I don't love the California number Well, you were you loving it when it was an anti-democratic Or you know, I was listening. I was sitting and I was like, let's see how the drinks are maybe What about that tumor? Yeah California man became one X 1809 X five six X X1809 X56 X. Now can I just really quick ask is that like the guy that I knew in college who had a barcode tattooed on his inner arm?

Exactly like that guy. Right where it's like can you believe this shit? We're just numbers to these people. Did he ever get scanned? I don't know. It would be amazing to have an actual price. You're red grapes. You're red grapes. You're red grapes. You're grapes of seeds, which is a weird call.

They would greet each other with salutes. Oh my God. They believe dollars should be replaced with currency based on a unit of heat. What does that even mean? Yeah. Canada banned technocr- no, crossy in 1940 I think technocracy, technocracy, yeah you're right, technocracy in 1940 is

wartime legislation was passed. Okay so Canada's seen there's a problem. Canada's like with old anti-democratic stuff and then those guys over there and Europe are doing some stuff that's not great so we should get rid of these guys who enjoy salutes and uniforms. Let's go back to the salute. What direction did that go in? That I did. That I could not find.

Okay. That I could not find. It should be alarm stuff. I bet it was real stiff and it was up in the air. Yeah, I had to be. Yeah, probably wasn't what you'd hope for. Yeah. Salute.

Well, to be fair, the, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, oh, no. It's a picture they're looking at. That's very, sorry to say, or Wellian. Yes. It's very Orwellian looking. Yeah, it really is. It's creepy. And it's weird that people don't talk about that when they talk about yellow musk.

It's the first thing that you come up. So they get distracted like we did about the chiropractor. Yeah. That guy's the hero. Yeah. So technocracy incorporated then aligned with Stalin against Hitler. So Joshua resigned from the group. He was now very anti-communist.

So much so that he was like, look, I know, but Hitler at least... Don't make me do this. Don't make me do this! Don't make me do this! Don't make me pick a side. Come on! They're both great guys. They're both, I love them both for different reasons. Yeah, yeah.

He was at one point jailed for his militant anti-communism. Well, that number on his, like, a rest, he must have been real long. X9142, one prisoner, eight, six, five, four, four. They're like x 91421 prisoner 86544 Elon's biographer actually vans said quote he this is he this is Joshua He for bid swearing smoking Coca-Cola and refined flower weird last two right None of them are great, but

But that was actually the found the foundation of keto. Yeah, this guy We hate ketosis We're fighting a war on ketosis As far as work he became a character. He was very very successful chiropractor. He made a lot of money. By the way, that actually, Vance, the guy who wrote the book on Elon's called Elon Musk Tesla Spakes Space X and the Quest for a Fantastic Future, is the best biography, I think, so far on Elon Musk, and it's really good. People should read it, but there's also...

And now, Ashley Vance is a man, not a woman. Ashley Vance is a man. Okay. It's coming out. There's a new book coming out, however, at the end of the month, which is a man not a woman. Actually Vance is a man. Okay. It's coming out. There's a new book coming out, however, at the end of the month. They're just supposed to be really good. Anyway. So Joshua then chaired the Social Credit Party, which is populous and anti-Semitic.

Nice. That's cool. What? That's cool. So he was a Nazi chiropractor? He wasn't a Nazi. Well, per se. Because he's a... Because the...actor? He wasn't a Nazi, per se. Yeah, because he's a not.

Sypophysed as hell. Wow, okay. Yeah, I mean, this is definitely great. Oh, I'm anti-Nazi, but gosh, do I get it? He's, I mean, he picked Nazis over Communists. Yeah, okay, yeah, he was, whenever someone's anti-communist, it's, for really, it really should ring your bells of like, that's a fact.

Yeah. Yes. So, yeah. Hold a lot of tension in that saluting arm. Really a lot of tension right there. Shoulders really binding. So he pivoted out of technocracy ink. Technocracy ink. It is social credit party, which is populous in anti-Semitic. And populous is right wing and the Sematic is usually pretty right wing,

but I think it's a Jimmy Doors. Anyway. Oh boy. But he becomes disillusioned with Canada. He's like, this is bullshit oppressive. I can't take it. I'm just gonna face it here about Canada. Okay, you guys are a little much, honestly.

All this politeness. It's crazy. No more syrup. I'm outta here. So X25194482196 is leaving he moves to a partite state of south africa boy this guy's really there's a progression against Canada's oppressive yep they were originally Canadians and then they moved to south africa originally americans and then

moved to Canada and now they moved moved to South Africa. Got you. Right. Just a guy leaving Canada in the 50s for a part-hand South Africa. Just totally normal. There's nothing there's no red flag. There's nothing to a part-hide here. Sorry. Aaron cut that out right now. Don't even let Dave hear it. I heard it. I'm trying to not process it. Touch the sound waves. Please. So the whole family sees Joshua as like he's like the debonair, you know, the fellow never-eat-to-story's about like he's the like I don't think the negative part comes in and starts when he was a cowboy at a car tractor and like they you know he's a big

influence on Elon. Sure. He apparently spent a lot of time flying his family around, looking for the lost city of Calahari. Well, can we talk about that a little bit? Yes, please. But what was this city's deal? It's made of gold.

Yeah, the lost city of Calahari is, I guess, supposed to be like a gold city. It's gold, yeah, great. Greatness. Is it? So it's just fly it around Africa looking for that? My thing is, in a gold gold city is the street also gold or they just talking about the buildings Do we know I'm shit. No, I guess that's why you want to find it. Yeah, just to have like yes some details about it

I bet it shitty muddy dirt streets Yes, strange when a Nazi sympathizer wants to go find a gold town? Yeah. Is that going to be a problem later? Is this about where Indiana Jones enters? Pustotti. Oh. That's my favorite part.

That's great. So, they had Joshua had five kids, one of whom was May. Elon's mom. She was Miss South Africa finalist in 1969, and a model. Sure. She got around a guy named Errol Musk. Oh boy.

They first met when she was 11, and he was 13. Oh man, I was really ready for a darker night. I was. And he was 47. I am not 30, was coming from the way. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. Finally a 13 year old comes into the mix. Yeah. May said he quote fell in love with me because of my legs and my teeth.

Yeah, so normal. Yeah, just the way I love works. Yeah, kind of also how you pick a horse. Yeah, very perfection perfection. They dated a bit. He repeatedly asked her to marry him over the years and she repeatedly said, no, she said he never stopped and eventually broke her will. That's how you do it. Just like a horse. You got to break the will. You know that you're allowed to be on their backs when you want That's how it works Boy that is that's one of those things that for a while wasn't that was kind of like what a romantic story for like when I was a kid And then the older you get you like that's a horrible way to be she married her stalker. Yeah, right Yeah, she could not did. She could not get away from her. She was like, Jesus Christ finally.

Yeah. You're never going away, are you? No, but we will find the city of gold together. Look at those teeth. Here we go. Come on. Get on her back. We're going to find gold town.

So Elon was born in 1971. Errol at the time was an electrical and mechanical engineer, and he worked really big jobs. He was a millionaire at 30. Whoo. Okay May was a dietician and model and Joshua died in 1947 in a plane crash. The eye is failed him I wouldn't be great. We're gonna land into this building boys. Oh God In the middle yeah, snap I'm a burger. I'm building up the guy with a burger.

I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm building up the guy with a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger.

I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm building up the guy with a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm building up the guy with a burger.

I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm building up the guy with a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger.

I'm building up the guy with a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. I'm a burger. We just changed plans real quick. Is that possible? No. Damn. So the family moves to a white's only neighborhood in Pretoria. Oh, that's fine. Elon as a kid would just kind of drift off, stare to space, not pay attention to anything, like a trance. Elon would just go into trances.

Sorry, but as someone who has seizure disorder, may I just say that he could have been having, I think, what are called, chronic tonic seizures, which is literally looks like you're just not paying attention, but you're having a situation. His eyes might have been failing him. Oh, that's true too. There's also epilepsy that that happens with.

It's the same thing. He changed them in that. The same thing as this. Yeah, they call epilepsy seizure disorder now, so it encapsulates more things. Gotcha. AMA about seizures. Is Dave about to get canceled by them? Because I feel like he just said a term that you're not supposed to say. Jesus, Dave. Problem.

God almighty. problem. God almighty. So yeah, he's having that. Obviously, they're worried about it. They think he's deaf. That's their solution. Because they, what people talk to him, he's just like not there. Right. So they had his adenoid glands taken out to improve his hearing, which are also taken out due to infections. But either way, they tried to fix them and it didn't work. Okay. At least he's down a couple of glands. Yeah.

Right. So this big, so now thing doesn't really go well at school. Sure. Kids would yell right at him and he wouldn't respond. He had no friends. Mm-hmm. No friends. He read a lot of books. he read a lot of science fiction,

and in psychopedias, which led to him correcting people all the time. I heard the read. Perfect for friend, make it. I just, I remember someone on Twitter being like, he read the in psychopedia, and I'm like, that's not helping anything right now. That is such a, that really is like, there's, just don't do that.

Right? No, don't do that. Also, there's no more encyclopedias, but yeah, don't do that. Yeah, I still have them. I still have a bunch of Britannics. Oh, my mom, my mom is giving me all her sushes. Like, I'm preparing to go away. And she's like giving me all her stuff. And she's like, I'm going to give the encyclopedias.

I'm like, actually, don't do that. That's not a big deal. That would be great. They're from like 1973. There's like a lot of stuff in there that's not real. That was the other thing about the encyclopedia, as I'm like, actually don't do that, but it's not. That'd be nice. They're from 1973. There's a lot of stuff in there that's not real. That was the other thing about the Encyclopedia. You were like, these are from eight years ago. So those aren't countries anymore. I remember you were like, this is actually wrong.

I can't use this for the report at all. My family doesn't get new ones ever. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I actually one time went in and cut out an article about Iceland, which was the country that I had to do a report on and I cut it out with scissors. And my mom was like, because you could not find information on Iceland and it was 1983.

I don't think it was real then. Yeah, it was still being argued. But for some reason, I just was like, I'm not taking this whole eye encyclopedia into my room. You owe my God, you're like, no. So I just cut it out. My mother's like, did you think we're just gonna get a bunch more of these?

No, it's gonna read about Iceland again. No, it gives a shit about Iceland or whatever's on the other side. It's not so see if they wanna know, but Iceland come to you. What about some time of just reaching out to the family? The capital is wrecked, that's the only thing. There's a lot of new eye encyclopedia.

Come on, did you know how it worked? Yeah. Replace them as they go. Yeah, it must have loved the part where they all died from the volcanoes. Oh yeah. You were dark, dark. I didn't have that updated one.

It was a real, it was a very small, like the capitals, RockyVeg, it has 24,000 people or whatever, tiny amount. And the exporters, like oil or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It's all I know. It's all I know. We're a puff and bass stuck on to me.

So, hard to ship, fun to get. Ah. Gareth, we're brought to you in part by Helix Sleep, which is... I'm Gareth. We both sleep on. I sleep on a bed. Do you sleep on a mattress also? Helix mattress? He looks mattress, yeah.

I don't know why you would differentiate. I just get a little worried about you and your situation. He looks, of course, it's a great mattress company. It's a great experience. It's a sleeping, loving situation. Sort of, I think it's more just a mattress. It's an awesome mattress, but yeah, I of course have one I it came to my house

I ordered it first I did a little two minute quiz online. I got the desk looks It comes to my house it knocks on the door That's looks myself, bro That's why if we wanted to sleep in the same bed together forever That would make sense in like so many ways and I one time mailed myself to your house You opened up that box and I jumped out and you tried to stab me make sense in like so many ways. And one time, mailed myself to your house, you opened up that box and I jumped out and you tried to stab me.

Yeah, I don't think that's true. Garrett, that has nothing to do with our Helix mattress situation. We're talking about right now. Okay. I, of course, sleep on the dust glugs. It's a firm. I sleep on my nipples.

And this mattress is the best way to do that. It's crazy, you're still pulling that off after all these years. So I love it. Gareth loves his. Gareth is no longer allowed to come over to my house to sleep on my helix sleep mattress, because that's wrong.

I'll be there. Get your own, you have one. You should be sleeping on your own mattress. My pitch is that we're meat between mattress bread. We just put mine on top of us. Sleep on yours, mine goes on us. Come on buddy. Helix mattresses are American made

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We could call ourselves Wheelix. Heelix is offering 20% of all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash top. Use code helixpartner20. This is the best offer yet and it won't last long with helix. Better sleep starts now. advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts and it is out right now. So go listen to we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help

with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. So he's annoying people with his encyclopedia knowledge. Elon claims that in the fourth grade, he read all the books in the local libraries. So I'm going to repeat that. He says when he was eight years old, he had read every single book in all the local libraries. When he was eight, when he was eight years old, he just a guy telling people that he read all the books at eight. Every book. Every book.

There's nothing left to read. So this was the era before anybody was diagnosing the autism spectrum in any way. Yes, that is correct. What we're dealing with. Yes, 100%. When Elon was eight, his parents got divorced. It was 1979, which was the year divorce became legal in South Africa. Oh wow. I guess just badgering a woman into marrying you is maybe not a strategy for a long-term relationship. Yeah, that's why they had to keep it illegal.

Because they're just like, you can't get out of it now. Yeah, right. No way. Oh, damn it. They can leave us now. You're in. Welcome to Steve Crowder, then. Yeah.

I like the respect. I'm enough to call him Steve. Like your bros. I mean, Steve Crowder. Steve. Steve. Steve. May said she would have done it earlier if she could have.

She doesn't like to talk about it, but Arrow was a real piece of shit. He admitted to cheating on her a lot because the other women were prettier and younger. Have you seen that woman? She's gorgeous. Yeah, yeah. She could get, yeah, for sure.

You could see her, I'm sure she's modeled since, but she is perfect features. No, I'm sure at this age, she's like smoking. Yeah. And he's like, no, there's prettier in your woman outfit. Better get better. Sorry. Now let's cut to a picture of him.

It looks like a potato. Yeah. Elon lived with his mom until he was 10, then he decided to go live with dad. Nice. So it's a hyper masculine white to African or culture. That's kind of what's dominated in the upbringing. Elon learned a lot about engineering and science from Aral, because he lectured his sons for three to four hours

at a time, and they weren't allowed to respond. Oh, my God.. Oh my god. Oh my god. So he was the original podcast. Oh my god. This is one way, baby. That's the original dollar back. That's what Dave used to do at first.

It's always weird to use, read someone that's worse than my dad. Yeah. It's possible. It's still weird to read someone that's that's worse than my dad. Yeah. It's possible. Yeah, it's still out there. Four hours a day. But he was probably like if he was, I mean, it's that he wasn't into like talking. So he was probably, yeah, he was just hung out. Yeah, yeah, maybe why is he already zoning out? Yeah. You can make the rule that I don't have to respond, but I don't have to stare directly into your eyes. Yeah, I can not listen. So Elon hates South Africa. He wanted them to move to the United States.

So he's pestering us that all the time and at one point, Eryl sent all the servants away and told Elon to do all the chores himself, which he called, quote, playing American. Okay. It's just a lot on pack. So many servants, what is the servants deal there? Well, they're clearly thought so black yeah and and So he also views America as a place where you I think I think we're getting what we're getting into here is white people Shouldn't have to do work around the house. Yes, I think that's what I think that's what. You've got me there faster, that's what I needed.

I think that's what he's saying. Also, and just real quick, it's a transplant American slash Canadian in South Africa. He went there for that. He went there for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, intense. But later on, he joins an anti-apartheid party in his office.

His dad does? Yeah, so it's, but obviously, it's why he's there. Yeah. You don't go to South Africa as a white guy at this time. I'm just doing it for the weather. And have servants to be like, Equality is what I'm after. And he's that in cyclopetia with E,

what I figure out what a quality actually is all about e-lon cut it out and in interview a real said they had a safe that sometimes was so full of money they couldn't close it well problem problem get those servants in there

yeah stack it up one way they made money was often emerald mine a real had a share in according to business insiders out of Africa In the mid eighties Errol was flying to England in a private jet which he was going to sell and on the way he made a group of Italians at Lake Tengen Yika who wanted to buy the airplane What so far it's a very normal story. He's like, I got to I need it. We want to buy it. Give us your add up plan.

Come on. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Errol, quote, he opened his safe and there was just stacks of money and he paid me out 80,000 pounds. Then this random Italian guy who just bought the plane, asked Aeroville he wanted to buy half an Emerald Mind in 10,000. Hey, is that about a year later? He would have bought an Emerald Mind? We're gonna want the two of us a photo.

You're gonna pay, and I get an Emerald Mind, and let's go. For 40,000, quote, I said, oh, all right. So I became half owner of the mind, and we got Emeralds for the next six years. Wow. Go ahead. Come on.

What? That's not how anything happened. No. There are Italians every day. This is the story of a bunch of guys who killed a guy at a lake. Yes. And then they took his property. That's what I'm hearing.

Well, I bet you Italians weren't even involved because they're not like that. Yeah, maybe. They're not like that. Hey, is that a guy trying to give me? I don't even have to say I'm an apparition. I'm not a model. Figman Abba. I'm an apparition. Well, whatever would doubt, this is not the true story. Okay. Anyway, but he had half a mind.

Okay. He had half a mind to... Half a mind, I guess. But really quick, didn't that sound like the beginning of a scam? Like I don't think they tracked their own library well. It's like you buy my plane for 20,000 I buy your mind for 40. We're just like, sorry why wouldn't that have been you bought the mind for 20. He sold the plane for 80 and bought the mind for 40. Sounds like an email a grandparent would reply to. Yeah. If you can do this math you can get in on the mind. I had to give him twenty but I'm also going to get an emerald jet. Grandma no. No no. He's got my home address too.

Also, error at one point killed three men. He said five or six men tried to break into his house to rob them and he shot three and killed them. Jesus. It's weird. All Italian. Come on, what are you doing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Oh. He was charge with murder, but acquitted. So who really knows of that one? Errol's a piece of shit. Eriland does not like to talk about the killing murder.

It's home invasion. That's so fine. South Africa is a very violent place. Like, you know what really went out. Just take that pain, push it down and post a meme. Yeah. That's not yours. That's also racist.

Yeah, yeah. A friend of mine was in South Africa and it was like 10 years ago. And they were driving down like this rural road and there's a guy who's stopped of this car is broken down and My friend's brother lived there and was was in the passenger seat and my and the guy's waving to pull over So he's my friend starts to pull over and his brother No, and slams on the gas with his foot and grabs the wheel and steers it away and then a shot hits the back of the car. Oh Jesus.

Fucking egg. So not one real flat tire in that whole thing. Not one. Never. Never. Never. Wow. Yeah, fun.

So, Aaron says he treated the kids really great. He says they got to ride thoroughbreds, they got motorcycles, they got whatever they wanted. He gave them stuff. Elon and Errol have very different versions of the childhood. Elon hates Errol. Oh, okay.

Just says he's a monster. When he was 11, Errol paid to send Elon to an adult course on the first IBM PC. Oh my God. And in 1980, Elon commenced his father to buy him a personal computer. By the way, if you go back, all of these guys who are rich now, it's just because they were first getting computers first, all of them Bill Gates, they all got computers first. That's why everybody went crazy for cryptocurrency and Bitcoin is because

everyone was like, oh, it's going to happen again and I have to be in on it. Yeah. I'm still putting a lot of money in it. Yeah, a lot of money. I wish I wouldn't do that. This Italian guy. I bought cat coin. That's great. I bought cat coin. It's a new point. That's cool. Cat coin. Yeah. Yeah. The price goes up and down based on how many cats there are. He excels in the world. Yes, in the world. Well, cats, but now we're pretty cats. Yeah, it's yeah, the price goes up and down based on how many cats are he Excel Yes, in the world will cats, but it's an hour breeding catch. Oh, okay. That seems like a that's interesting It's good. No, it's gonna take off. Okay. It's kept based Elon was relentlessly oh no wait, he excelled a coding

He created his own computer game and then sold it for $500 and he's 12 You see how long you can stare out the window and you get points for the length of time you're able to do that without blinking. I call it Zaxon. Zaxon. This game is where you just take advantage of your workers. It's called the city of gold. You don't find it.

So Elon's relanxi-bullet at school. In the worst incident, a boy kicked him down some concrete, and then the kids' friends beat the shit out of Elon at the bottom. He was knocked out and spent a week in the hospital. Oh. Bully's gonna agree that was not OK. No, I am against that. Yeah, that's bad.

Nope. Bully's gonna have to run for three or four years, and once beat up a friend of Elon's to force that friend from hanging out with Elon. Now that I do approve of. That's actually where I kind of, I jump back over. You shape and guide people's decisions in life. I've been with violence.

Beat the shit out of someone so you won't be their friend. That's extreme. That's a holiday. That's extreme bullying, yeah. And kind of cool, like it's, it's, I mean, it's advanced bullying. It's psychological and that's the part I like. Yeah, I do. Yeah, there's something I like about it.

Yeah, it's just really dark. Yeah. Elon quote, moreover, they got him. They got my best fucking friend to learn me out of hiding so they could beat me up and that fucking hurt. Mm-hmm. So Elon definitely, when you go through these interviews and you listen to him, he wears his feelings on his sleeve with the shit while talking about the bullies and his dad.

He very tortured obviously. He says he had no respite to not at school, not at home, like there was no... Well, there's no one who had it worse in South Africa than him. I mean, she's like, he's like, oh wait, sorry.

Oh, sorry, wait, sorry, wait. Sorry, wait, hold on. You're right. I'm actually just thinking for a minute here. Yeah. Oh, go on. Oh, sorry, wait, sorry, wait, sorry, wait, hold on, I shouldn't think it from the minute here. Oh, God. Oh, fuck. Oh, man. Okay.

He switched schools to a crazy expense of all boy school and the bullying stuff. I like how they shut the girls for the problem. Yeah, that's right. We need to get him around a little more testosterone, I think, is the issue here. The girls, like, he want wanna meet you by the stair. Yeah.

I also hope that he had a gross spurt. He mostly still hung out with his brother, Kimball. Well, sorry, that's the first time we've heard the brothers name, I believe. Yeah, Kimball's a little bit younger. Okay. And way hotter. And way hotter, he is actually, he's like, yeah. Is he? Yeah. So he. Dave knows confident he's like he's like yeah, is he yeah?

So he Dave knows confident. Yeah, he's like Kimbles the Kimbles reason I want to do this Yeah, there's really Kimbo story So he loans really into rockets he would build them at home He apparently talked a lot about using rockets to get to other planets and how dumb fossil fuels were to classmates. Interesting. That's what they say, but it sounds like such bullshit. It sounds like one of those somehow made up nonsense things. Oh, what the old classmates say now?

Yeah, it just sounds. It sounds like somebody wrote that at some point and then everyone believes it. Right. That's how it comes across. Well, and also, it feels like the bullying would have come back if he was walking up and being like I wish I could take a rocket ship to a different planet.

Now the goddamn stairs again. We're gonna throw you down the stairs until he's top talking about rockets. But someday I could take a rocket to a place where they didn't even have stairs. It doesn't understand. According to business insider when he was almost 16 they were were in New York, and Arles is asleep. So he and Kimball took a couple of his emeralds. So they always had emeralds. What's now? Yeah, from the Imo mind, they just always had emeralds. Like pocket emeralds?

Yeah, they had pocket emeralds. Interesting. It is my birthstone. Is it? That's why I was doing this episode. Thank you. I thought this was Kimball's episode. Are you just bullshitting us and is it really all about you?

Kimball's also a tourist. Okay, all right, all right, David. Sorry, David. So they take the emeralds, a couple of emeralds and they go to Tiffany's and they sell them. Because that's what you can do when you're 16 in the New York time. Time lies.

Now, yes, time the emerald purchase for Tiffany's. This is true, Arrow confirms it. Like if this is- For real, sorry, they're teenagers? Yes. So a couple boys are in the back. They're trying to sell us some emeralds. Well, yes, we should take this meeting, obviously.

But what was, I don't know what Tiffany's was at, was it like, you know, the whole, they had their own movie day. But the whole like, the whole jewels and, and like, you know, diamonds and it's a very shady fucking business, especially in the 70s or 80s. Doesn't sound like it. It's just that if the story was he was taking emerald

to the gem exchange on 7th Avenue or something like that. We check this out. I just made that up. Well, you have the such a say Jews, Karen. Oh my God. I'm saying those, we all saw what's at Adam Sandler movie. We all saw on CatGym. But that would be where you would have that business.

Tiffany's, they're like, I'm sorry, I'm selling necklaces. Maybe now, but maybe not then. It's still very strange to walk into a Tiffany's and be like, hi, who are you? Oh, not buying, selling Emeralds, write this way, boys. Right. It's possible. It's like going into McDonald's with selling emeralds, write this way boys. Right, it's possible. It's like going into McDonald's with french fries and being like, I've done that. I'd like to trade fries.

Of course, write this way. ORI's cream machines broken. You could go to McDonald's and sell them fat fries and they'll turn them into skinny fries. That's the best. So, okay, so Karen doesn't believe a story, but we'll go with it anyway. They got $2,000. A few days later, they went back and one of the emeralds that they sold for $800.

$800 was on a ring for sale for $24,000. Oh, that big. Made a team build deal. Right, I think they came in and they were like, how much can we get? And they were like, and they just, you know, robbed and bought this. And listener, this is why we don't use Tiffany's as a pawn shop. Yeah, that's right.

Don't do it. And yet we go to the jewelry exchange. And yet I did sell a guitar there. Yeah, that'd be amazing. Y'all take axes. Y'all do acts for ring trades. It's bedazzled. Elon was desperate to move to the United States.

His mom was a Canadian citizen, so he applied for a passport and left South Africa in 1988 when he was 17. His dad told Elon he would fail in Canada and be back in three months. Nice. Good guy. It's called a pep talk.

Yeah, more. That's good dad and good luck loser. See's called a pep talk. Yeah. More. That's good, Dad. Good luck, loser. See you in a couple. Now, he paints his period. It's very like I struggled. I made it.

You know, I had a tough time and I persevered. You know, still a little different than like of a black guy from Johannesburg with no Canadian grandmother. You know, so he had, he had a, he acts like he just, but he had to step up. Emerald. He also, yeah. Emerald's, but he also like,

he had a ticket home whenever he wanted, right? It's all, but he probably took a handful of emeralds. There's just no risk here, but wait, do we have details on what was difficult, go according to him? Okay, so he arrives and he has a list of relatives in his pocket. He tries to call an uncle from the airport.

No one knows he's coming. Right. He calls an uncle from the airport, but the number doesn't work because the uncle has moved to Minnesota. So he just has his phone and he's just called relatives. Nice. And then a distant cousin in Saskatchewan is like, yeah, you can stay here for a little while.

So he jumps on a bus and goes up to Saskatchewan. He starts working on jobs, whatever he can. He's trying to live as cheaply as possible. He's mostly only eating oranges and hot dogs. Sorry. What's eating? What's eating? Orange and hot dogs?

Delicious. Like a monkey. Yeah. He's like half time at a kid soccer game. The man. Yeah, he's like half time at a kid soccer game the man Those are all your vitamins that you get vitamin C you get nitrates you get your nitrates you get your vitamin C Yeah, you're pretty much you know the food red dye number five. Yeah, you're getting all of it plus that bun That's giving you a lot of that's good nice and yeah, it's nice nice and He did work for a while as a cleaner and a lumber mill boiler room sure just a one room. I think so

Kim was mother joined him in Canada and Elon Van Aroll in roles in Queens University where he meet some ladies. Okay one where he meets some ladies. Okay. One. One he didn't tell. One he didn't tell. Sorry, one he told he didn't like to eat. Quote, if there was a way I could not eat so I could work more, I would not eat. I wish there was a way to get a new chance

without sitting down for a meal. So he was on the grind. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so I'm gonna get out of here. I'm gonna ask you a story. Welcome the grind. Yeah. All right, so I'm going to get out of here. I'm going to ask you a story. Welcome to Canada. Yeah.

Do you like to go out for a not meal? Mm-hmm. Hey, I'd like to sit down over a table and stare at you. Mm-hmm. And not work. Your eyes are failing you. I can't see right now. Perfect.

Yeah, that's, that's silent. Yeah, that is. That's, we went through these guys. I mean, in the silent episode, there's just's so I went yeah, that is that that's we went through these guys when we did a so I An episode there's just a whole bunch of Silicon Valley guys that wish they could he didn't have to In they don't they don't they want to remain in the flow of what they do that makes them feel good because Everything else makes them feel bad. Well, we're mocking it, but without that we wouldn't have we works makes them feel bad. Well, we're mocking it, but without that, we wouldn't have we works. So let's just remember that.

But there is that whole thing here, especially that is that grind culture thing where you're just like, yeah, you know what? You're gonna have to work all day. And then when you come home, you're not gonna have time to eat. You're gonna have to work a second job because that's what it takes to get it.

It's like, this is so stupid. Yes. How about like, you know, the beach. I think the beach. Watching some old save by the bells. I don't know. I was mad at this episode because a writing there was a really good swell and it coming from surfing.

And you're, oh right. Are you being serious? Yeah. Yeah. Is this your new thing? Oh yeah, Karen, you don't know surf, Dave? I don't. Oh, you got to really get in touch.

You got to get to know surf tape. Sorry, do you live near the beach now? No, I drive there. Oh, OK. Keep going. Keep asking questions. I only had two questions. You ever punched a shark?

I think about it. Hey, does a little seal jump on your surf board? Yeah. Just like I've seen on the surf board. Have you gone viral?'ve seen a gone viral I haven't got viral. Okay Do you ever say this to like fellow guys you go good pal out there today good? What a nice pal You ever say that how good pal? You say stuff like that? You know words are yeah

Yeah, I'm talking your stuff. You're not did you see the video where Kelly Slater dropped into a gigantic Did you see the video where Kelly Slater dropped into a gigantic barrel and then fell down and can't got back up? Yeah. Can you do that? No. Oh. I can't even go to a barrel. That was crazy that he just went through.

And he's like, he's like, yeah, that's what you do. He's in his 50s. Yeah, he's still the best surfer of the world. Yeah, that's really crazy. So that you could be there with a little more... Let's get there, Dan. Yeah, that's still going to happen. Yeah, it's still gonna happen. Yeah, okay. So...

Surf day. Yeah, it's a lot to take in. Oh yeah, no, and I have just, I have no issues coming back to that if you want to at any point. Oh, okay, okay. Jump out of the surf day question, I think that's, do you have a catch phrase?

No, okay. Let's go surf. I don't have a point, even. You're really talking about that. Did you have one more question? Yeah, yeah. Did you have a nervous breakdown and that's why you started surfing? I'm not gonna talk her through this.

Just, I always wanted to surf, but I just never did. And then my guy had friends over surfing and they were like, you want to go surfing and I was like, okay. And when you said guy friends, who would that be?

The guy said, Graham, these guys who threw him down the stairs and told him to get into the ocean. Graham, serve Murray, Murray, Ballerino, those guys serve like I serve. Graham L Wood? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Do you guys, do you guys do the little showers, the get to the little showers? The showers, the showers where you got to push them, you got to push the button a bunch at the end. Do you do that to get the sand off you? Do you pull your wet suit half off and then kind of like shake your hair around and just kind of like. Have you ever fought each other on the beach? I mean, Anthony Keedis on the beach. Yes. Do you wear a raking mask? Are you robbing fix with this? My god.

You knew it wasn't about sex. Yeah, you knew it was about sex. I knew it was a big way more sex. Okay, now I don't remember where I was. In the beach. All right, so ladies, so it tells one he doesn't like to eat. And then he started pursuing Justine Wilson. Elon, quote, she looked pretty great.

She was also smart and this intellectual was sort of an edge. She had a black belt in Taekwondo and was semi-Bohemian and like, you know, the hot chick on campus. You can tell this guy read the encyclopedias. If I can vary. He just named like five things. Yeah. But he also, she probably just had like black hair.

Yeah, but still. I mean, is that what guys are looking for a black belt in Taekwondo? I don't know. Nope. I mean, he probably was because he was like a black belt in Taekwondo? Mm-hmm. I don't know. Nope. I mean, he probably was, because he was like, these boys keep throwing me down the stairs. Help me, please help.

Please help me. They're going to beat you to say you can't be my friend, but you can fight them back, so you'll be perfect. Yeah, that's, it was about security for him, safety. Yeah, and now we've all seen at this point pictures of young Elon before he got all of his His jaw and his hair and his nose. Yeah, and he does not did great. It's not a great picture It's not well. This is not something there. You're like wow, that's he's kind of fifefully and acute

He just have a kind of earnest. Yeah Goes to camp vibe that one. Oh, sorry. I should let you finish Urna streets the encyclopedia sort of which is the last of the earth is hey burn I have to send my son money for food. Oh Wow He doesn't have to eat food. Yeah. Do you want to maybe go that direction with him? Say, you can buy as many oranges and hot dogs.

I tell him. Just right back, you could be coding. I tell him that all the time. You could also code right now. So he pursues her and finally she gives in and says, she'll go out on a date with him, but then she's a secluded best. Yeah, it's like lifelong or generationally. Yeah, it really is.

Please, please. When he goes to pick her up, there's just a post of notes saying, she can't just study. Nice. So he goes to her friend and he post, it's were great. Yeah, that's great. And they hurt a lot. Yeah, I do hurt.

It's like, I don't have to worry. He weren't even worth regular paper. I'm not wasting a sheet of binder paper. I can't do regular paper anti. Pears just two sentences that ought to sum it up. I hope the sticky comes unglued from the wall. Can't study and go. Bye.

So then he goes to her friend and grills her friend about her and asks her what, where she is and what she likes. And then goes to where Justin is studying with her favorite ice cream. So did I mention this was an ice cream date? So what? No. She said no to a date and do just shows up forcing the date with the ice cream.

Like doing this anyway. Justine quote, he would call very insistently. You always knew it was- This is harassment. I mean it really is. Or a magazine subscription, they are. Yeah. You always knew it was Elon because the phone would never stop ringing. The man does not take no for an answer. I think of him as the terminator. He locks his gaze onto something and says it shall be mine. It's just bone chilling.

Yeah, that's not great. Is she saying that in a kind of complimentary fashion? Is she saying that from the grave? She did write an article in, I think, what is it Marie Claire? Claire, yeah, that a lot of people refer to. Okay. I just picked up stuff from other articles,

but you know, but, you know, they, she's still, they're on and off at this point. Like she starts dating him even though she writes this later. Like, oh, he's a terminator. Right. Which is why she doesn't want a terminator. Well, I shot him a bunch, but here he is. I don't know.

I like his red glowing eyes. Yeah. I mean, he's looking for this boy, so he has a hobby. Yeah, he's like, he's got this, you know, this jonesse qua about him. So here's something that Rich kids do. Elon and Kimble just start cold calling people they want to meet. People they read about in the newspaper, like the top executive at the bank of Nova Scotia, Peter Nicholson. Wow.

Nicholson is, of course, impressed because who does this? Yes. So he's like, sure, I'll have lunch with you. So okay. I'm a bit of a loser. One more. Now, it's just so like, look at the gumption on these kids when it's actually like, these guys are fucking weirdos.

Dave, you used to work at a bank. I did. Can you picture the president of that bank getting cold calls by a couple of rich boys saying, can we get a lunch? That's how you do it. That's how you do it boys. Now, that's how you. That's such a low bar to be like, look, you guys really go get them calling me.

Do you remember what I moved? Do you remember the director from, was it Dakota, the place that Mr. Shell was done? Yeah. Yeah, Troy Miller? Troy. Well, fucking monster, stole scripts from me. But, you know, how you got his start? There was a guy who, he worked at a gas station

like in the Valley or something, and there was a big studio guy that would come by all the time, and he would talk to him, and you know, try to shmuse with him. And then one day, I found out the guy's going away for two weeks on vacation. So he shows up to the place, the studio. And I was like, oh yeah, I got hired by so and so.

And then works there for two weeks and the guy comes back and he's like, what the fuck are you doing here? And he's like, they find out what happened. He's like, what a figure, the gumption on this kid. And he gets to keep working there. What? It's like, how do you get crazy people in show business?

Because you allow this to happen. And if I go and I went to Tom Hanks's house three times and put on his clothes and said I was him, and I went to jail for two years. The differences you should have gone to his offices in the valley. Okay, I'll do that now. But I can't, but I legally am not allowed

to even say his name or talk about this. We have to cut this out. When I first got to LA, I would write scripts for that, that's that a TV show thing that was the best commercial you've never seen. Sure. It was for Troy, and then he would take my name off the script and put his own on. So that was cool. Classic move. Shobin. Shobin. He's made of monsters. So it works. They go out to lunch with Nicholson and Nicholson's Kimble is very charismatic and Elon is super awkward.

Sorry, it works for what? They get to medium and then Elon asked for an internship and he gets one. So now he's just got a summer internship because he's a weirdo because he called someone. You called me Rich Kitsch. You can be around the world. What if he cares so much about like rockets to other planets or whatever you'd think and I'm sorry because it's just reality. But like in my mind I was like so so he's gonna cold call NASA or something

that more is long line of like. Yeah, what he's talking about. Big time shit. I'm afraid he's like, there's bank or was the biotriff. I think that question will be answered as well along. Oh, I'm sorry. I think it will. So Elon doesn't really drink.

He's not really a part of your guy. He focuses on school, debate, and justine. Oh, God. She's like, start drinking. You should drink. Dranky will be good for you. She's like, hi, y'all. This is what she's doing.

Yeah. So he gets a scholarship to University of Pennsylvania to study economics and physics. So finally, he's in the United States of America. That was the dream. Land of the likes doesn't do in his own dishes. He's. You ever fall on coral? Yes.

You have? You got a coral scrape? Yeah. And you ever peed on a jellyfish stick? What? No. Have you ever come really close to a great white, but it just swam by because it doesn't see you as a...

Mary did not mean. You ever see someone who's getting lessons and go, hey, not today, newbie, those are my waves. Do you say stuff like that? All the time, okay. Do you ever have somebody say, locals only, get out of here? Have you, no, I've never thrown rocks at people because they know locals.

You're the local? At what beach? All of them. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. So his studies focus on electric cars.

If you were a fallen-on coral, I was so confused. But I was just like, OK, I've got to get in on this. What the fuck is happening? What's his initiation there? It's a bit off, I'm Jared. It's OK. So he's spilling some rum from that general direction. I thought it was connected to the bait.

No. OK. You ever brained with one piece of your hair and let it grow out real long? In the summer, oh oh he made actual friends. So he saw me make a video. That's cool. In the summer of 1994, he got two Silicon Valley internships during the day. He's working at a pinnacle research institute, which invests in investigating the ultra-capacitors

as a fuel source in electric cars and maybe lasers. Sure. investigating the ultra capacitors as a fuel source in electric cars and maybe lasers. Sure, of course. And at night, he rode low-level code at rocket science games. Sure. On a road trip that he and Kimble take, they discussed starting a business that had something to do with, quote, the internet. Oh, good idea. Yeah, smart.

Yeah, smart. So they're on the edge. Yeah. One day at his internship, a salesman for the L.A.P.A. So they're on the edge. One day at his internship, a salesman for the ol' pages came in and discussed this. This is the best time ever. We're going to get back to that. Maybe the symbol of old capitalism.

Maybe the symbol of the old way things used to work. I mean, a salesman too. We just got him. They're free. Yeah, this guy was like, now I know they're free, but would you like the upgraded yellow pages with another 50 additional businesses inside? Well, what about the extra yellow pages?

I know you've heard about the regular yellow pages, but what about these ones? Let me tell you about the beige page. They didn't know when they started doing green. What green part of that? They had yellow pages, and then at one point there was a little green section. That was pretty soft. There's a green section, nobody knows about. Nobody gets in doing green. What green part of the whole? They had yellow pages and then at one point, there was a little green section. That was pretty salt.

Yeah, like a special section. Nobody knows about it. Nobody gets in the green. $5. Come on. So this guy comes in. He wants to have an additional online part for the yellow pages.

He better. He'd feel like the yellow pages might get fucked with this internet thing. Now I know it sounds kuku bananas to you all. But the guy's pitch was terrible and this led you on. This was terrible. This led you led to have an amazing idea for online yellow pages. Yeah, what was that guy's bitch?

That was a bitch. It's literally an addition. Take the information from the paper in the real world and put it onto a website. No, it was like, so we've got the yellow pages. Everybody's going to want those. But then you have got the yellow pages, everybody's gonna want those. But then you have the extra yellows, which you're putting online. Everybody sets up an account, walk me through this.

I'm 65 and I'm really in fear of losing it. I bet it was like, and then you get up coupons or shit like that. And we do online coupons. Is that how this whole thing works? Like if you clip through a screen, there were online coupons. You had to print them up.

You print up your coupons on your facts-printing machine or your go to your buddy who's got a press. And then you take the coupons from the extra yellow pages. And sorry, there's a little blood coming out of my nose because I'm overwhelming my own systems at this point. So anyway, that's a lot of idea. Wait, his idea was like dealing the other guy. Basically, yeah.

I mean, he, he, he tells that idea like the other guy had a bad idea and he made it better, but it's like, no, that's just kind of taking the idea. Yeah. So, you know, I would just love to hear the original idea versus what man's and effort. Yes, I'm sure it was. We should put it on and he was like, he was confused. Yeah. idea versus what I'm sure it was. We put it on and Elon was like, he was confused. Yeah.

I mean, it's kind of like what I do with memes, where their mind shush. You know what questions they're mine, okay? It was my idea to alphabetize the yellow page. Yeah. So Elon is accepted at his Stanford's PhD program, but he does not go. Instead, he talks Kimball into moving to Silicon Valley,

and they create global, global link information network and online yellow pages with GPS maps. That guy was like, that went my idea! Except for the maps. Except for the maps I wasn't so pretty good. Okay, but I think it should be stated here that if he was smart enough to go to Stanford, to get into Stanford on a physics, did you say? It's economics and physics, yeah. I mean, that's a big, he's not, he's not just a rich kid.

I did that though. Oh, dear. I turned it down. I wanted to go to Emerson and study theater. Oh, right. But yeah, it was either that or physics and stuff at Stanford. Right. You got to do more like a clown.

Well, Dave, I mean, I had done it all when it came to the physics economics game. Yeah. And I thought, how do you do improv and find your diaphragm voice? Fudgey Brownie, that's the one I was doing before we started today. I go back to that work all the time. Yeah, it's really served you. Yeah, thank you. Do you wear shades when you're doing?

No, no, I'm wearing a shirt. But definitely SPS, right? Yeah, you could, you put it on your nose only. Do you do the big bold white nose? Aw. A whole face. Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg style?

I like that. Mine style. I like that mine style. Gareth in college style. Yeah, I did a lot of that. I know. It's an homage to you when I'm out there. Oh. Usually when I surf, the. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star.

I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. I'm a star. So the company, however, would change its name to Zip2 because global link information is a shit name. That'll become a theme. Elon did the coding, Kimball does the sales and marketing and they went to tiny office, they sleep there, they shower at the YMCA. Some reports say, Aril gave them 28,000 to start,

but Eland said his dad only supported them once it was profitable. Did you get it? It was like 4M rules, it was it. Oh yeah. Doing, I hope you can do more. We started with 4M rules. I mean, that move of like I'll get in on it once you guys do

all the heavy lifting would track for classic asshole done. But also him not saying I don't I didn't get the money to laugh for also tracks that also tracks because he loves to be thought he's the guy thought of everything So both of them yeah, I still only shower at the Y go ahead. Yep So Elon's wealth Errol's well, sorry dwindled in the late 80s as the South African economy tanks due to apartheid. Yeah, for the math.

Yeah. That was not great. So then they find an actual two-bedroom apartment and Elon convinces an engineer to intern for just room and board. So this guy lives with the musks, there's no furniture, the sleep on mattresses on the floor, and one day the intern is running errands in their really shitty, beater car when the wheel came off. The wheel of the car. The wheel of the car came off.

Wheel or the steering wheel. The tire. Don't be crazy. This is not a sitcom. Who would have loved it? Ruger. Ruger. Ruger.

Ruger. Ruger, Ruger, Ruger. Ruger. Ruger. Ruger. Ashley Vance, quote, the axel dug into the street at the intersection of Page Mill Road and El Camino Road and the groove it carved out remained visible for years. So this is told this like a quirky fun story when it's actually just straight up exploitation of a worker and putting them in danger. Stuff like that, which will become a theme.

So Elon is an insane worker. Nonstop endless hours just keeps working. An employee would come in every day and find him asleep in a bean bag, because he had worked until he passed out and he would sleep in a bean bag. It's normal. And the ghost of his grandfather,

Chiropractor, would stand over him going, don't do this to yourself. No, he's napping his eyes, are failing him. Bean bag bag. Elan and Kimball got a financial up from friends that they had made in Canada. One gives them $6,000 and comes down and joins them.

He said he had to referee fist fights between the musk brothers in the middle of the office. Awesome. OK. Yeah, they're like the Marks brothers, but it's not very funny. Not funny at all. The steering wheel doesn't come off enough in my opinion.

That was really where they lost it. Oh, boy. Ruger. This is like encoding crackers. The Musk brothers, coding crackers. But this is like 1880s shit. Yeah, right. Like this is crazy.

Yeah, you mean fists are way up like this. Come on, you old. Too bedroom apartment. So they're funny. Oh, now they Like this is crazy. Yeah, you mean Fist or way up like this. Come on, you old. Two bedroom apartment, so they're fine. And now they're in an office. Oh, OK. Yeah. But so it's an office that they're fighting in. They're fighting in front of their employees.

I like it. At one point Elon cut his hand and had to go get a tennis shot. And after that, they stopped fighting at work. Because the other guy was like, this is a really bad look, you guys. The fist fighting at work. He probably shouldn't do it. Yeah. Really quick. After that, they stopped finding it work because the other guy was like, this is a really bad look, you guys. The fist-finding it worked.

You probably shouldn't do it. Yeah. Really quick. One time I had an audition on the west side and I was sitting in the waiting room and two dudes who worked in the office started arguing and then they started fist-fighting. And I was like, I got up and I was like, what a great excuse to not do this commercial audition. And I felt from left and my agent, I was like driving home where I was like, I got up and I was like, what a great excuse to not do this commercial audition. And I fucked up left and my agent, I was like driving home where I'm like,

I'll take any excuse. You know what, audition, I fucking used to hate it so much. And my agent calls me like, as I'm driving away wherever I'm like, two dudes started fist fighting. They're like, they want you back. They want you to go back. I'm like, no, they, yes, those two dudes do,

because they don't want to get fired. I'm not fucking going back there. That's the best. It was, there was nothing better than when you got, like, a commercial audition for, like, Friday in Santa Monica, or 40. You did, yeah. And you'd figure out a lie to get out of it.

Yeah, always. You'd be the relief. Yep. Because they'd be like, is it a problem that you're going to spend seven hours for a part? You're not going to get for a product that you despise. You don't it's not gratifying to you Also, we're gonna make you improv the entire thing. Yeah, there's no script. We'll steal some of that You'll see that in the commercial

Get a parking ticket so be 45 dollars for the whole experience. That's on right to you. Yeah, it does So So Elon, oh yeah, so they get in the fights at work. In early 1996, they get a $3 million investment from a VC firm. But Elon has to give up CEO. They want someone with more experience. New professional coders are brought in to rewrite pretty much all the code Elon had written because it was shit. Elon was self-taught, so his code was hard to update,

it was hard to expand, it was hard for others to work on. So that's shit code. Code no one else can work on is bad. It's not helpful. Elon hates that they're improving his code. He was notoriously rude to staff and executives, criticizing them and storming out of meetings. Author Jimmy

Sonny said it was quote a perpetually sleep deprived musk openly berating other executives and colleagues. Sleep deprived musk sounds like a great fragrance. Smells a little bit like cigarettes. Yeah. It's like it's like what your mouth smells like when you wake up. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh, but also this was now, we're in the 90s, 2000s. Yes.

When there's clear labor laws and stuff where you can't beat. He cannot be doing this at all. It cannot be doing it. It's crazy. Yeah. Also, he would go in and change the code without telling the others. Yes. That's pretty cool.

Code breaks. Forward slash. Not backslash. Who put these colons in the middle of this fucking thing? Why is there so many twenties in here? Oh my God. Gentlemen, there's a shit emoji in the middle of the code. This is all X's.

It's worse. He wanted the coders to work the same way he did, which was all the time, 18-hour days. He tried to make them work nonstop and not sleep for days at a time, but they refused. In 1998, Zip2 was going to merge with city search, but it fell through. It's so funny you hear these names,

and you're like, oh, I remember city search. I had a job with city search for a little while. I believe in San Francisco. No down here, it was like writing reviews or writing comedy show listings of like different comedy shows people could go to during the week. Well, that would have been advantageous for a comic, even like this one is awesome. Yeah, although I don't think I caught on to that part. There's one at the 101. I don't know why he's doing it there. It's like around the corner from the rest of the room.

You know that. All these listening are like, why would you do that there? Why would this stupid? My God, this one's okay, but it's not great. So Karen, there's a lot of views in the city search bar. People just need a list, Karen. Don't need to hear what you think about it. Huh?

So it falls through. And Elon tries to get the CEO fired and get his old job back, but everyone knows he's terrible with people. And the board does not really not do that, but they drop Elon as chairman of the board. Oh, wow. And Zip2 is losing money when compact suddenly out of the blue rolls in and offers 307 million to buy it. 307 million?

Yeah. To get just basic like information,ellow phone book information off the internet. I mean basically a guy who's like one in his like god damn it I am with my pitch Basically, I mean yes, it was a little more complicated when it came to the coupon and component But I didn't know how printers were I was you could take a picture of a Polaroid, a screen or whatever they call it and take it to your local market and they would scale it's oh 307 million. That's a lot of clams for a guy who's eating the yellow pages. It sounds stupid right but I guess it's just like well if they own it then they

can just put it on. I guess they're thinking compact computers. So you're like, you think, yeah, so you'll buy it. So you'll buy it. So you'll buy it. So you'll just do a version of this. Right, there's like no. But then they have to hire people to build it out,

and they just want to buy it. But for 300, it's $7 million. It's crazy. Look, I'll give you $1 million to do this in a week. There we go. It's not. Yeah. I wonder if it's that where it's just the, because I remember when this story became

people who could code and what was it called data input or something, like that job of people that like our age in our 20s, we're suddenly it's like, oh my god, he's making $200 an hour of doing data input or doing good. Yeah, I remember that. And I was just like, shit, I'm not going back to school. Yeah. I got to make it some other way. But like, it's because that's all they did. Just sit there and put you in. Just basic, like, here's the street where that ice cream store is. Yeah. Everybody. Yeah. So you like it's 22 million out of that. And he immediately

leaves the company. Oh, terrible. This is terrible. By Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccondo, by Zaccond There like a clarin on the set of Marin. Yeah, but they're like it's a crazy fucking car Stop talking okay Crazy positive or negative yes I Could take it down to the beach pick up some babes Do you sex on the more do you call it sex wax? Yes, I fuck it. Thank you Do you call it sex wax? Yes, I fuck it.

Thank you. He, that's all boring. Yes, that likes surfing. It's not, you can't float. Gary! These boards full of glory holes. So when he, so he orders the car. So the reason I say there's not that many, like under a hundred or whatever year, is because

he has CNN come to his house to film the delivery of the car. Our best news now. He called them up and said he just sold, you know, he's like, hello, is this the bank? He must have called. He gave him the old bank job. What are you up? Rest with you calling CNN. I'm not a lot of people are doing that. Sure will come film you by a car. He must have called CNN and said, hey, I just sold the company and I'm getting a car delivered and they came down. Silicon Valley story.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. So he tells the reporter, he could buy an island of the Bahamas if he wanted, but he'd rather start a new company. He became known for treating them a clarin like shit and bragging about how badly he treated it. It's like he worked for him. He later crashed it showing it off to a friend.

Did the wheel come off? Yes. See that doesn't happen, Karen. Sorry. You guys had a lot of fun with me earlier, but that happens a lot. Fulipology's Garrett. At times. Theoret and Wheel of Just Come Off. Wait a second. I just read this. Somebody took a clip of that part of the story and put it on X to it. Yeah, and but basically was like he just crashed and then walked away, right? Yeah, he was yeah, my beliefs. Oh, yeah, he just was like whatever. Yeah, that's cool. Right. That's like that's like a good trait.

I know it's kind of similarly cool is right now. I have a Tesla and I don't wash it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of similarly cool. Right now I have a Tesla and I don't watch it. You believe that? Yeah. Yeah. That'll show. What a waste. For a while, Elon had had this new idea.

An online bank called x.com. What? Oh. At the time, people were reluctant to use the internet to shop, let alone store their money, but Elon took 12 million dollars of his own money and put it into starting x.com. A co-founder, Harris Fricker, and immediately, and Elon immediately began budding heads. Fricker wanted x.com to just be an an online bank while Elon decided that they should change banking, mortgages, insurance, online payments, investment services, retirement planning,

everything, all of it, and more. He's going to change the fucking world. Disrupted. Yeah. He started reading books about banking because he did not know anything about banking. He could have just called his bank buddy. That's exactly. Tap into that Canadian source. That guy's looking for friends.

Yeah, really. He will pick up that. Hello. Well, yeah. Of course I'll move in with you. Don't worry about it. Frickard said Elon worked until 4 a.m. every day, which Frickard thought Joe that Elon was not actually

connected to the company, just doing his own thing. Elon thought that's what you do at a startup. You just work yourself to the bone. After five months, Frickert said either he would be made CEO or he would leave the company and take everyone with him, and Elon said, go for it. So Frickert did, and all the top guys left. Oh wow. Wow.

So now MusclesAlone with x.com, and he starts over hiring his own engineers. He has to fool the main VC guys because the site was, according to an engineer, quote, we had what amounted to a Hollywood movie set of a website. It barely got past the VCs. OK. So they had nothing.

So this is an Elizabeth Holmes move. Yeah, right. Like they all probably do this. Right, yeah. She just got caught. Yeah, she ripped off, yeah. I still think her product works. But I hear you, I know there's a lot of naysayers

who don't think that that stuff's working, but I've given a lot of my blood to Walgreens, and I've been really happy with their growth. Just so worth it. Here it is. It's just, a lot of my blood to Walgreens and I've been really happy with their results. Just so worth it. Just like cutting your finger behind Walgreens is not the same. Okay, first of all, you sound like a lot of the managers there. And second of all, it is very similar.

I have bags of it and someone's going to buy it at some point. Sir, can you stop bleeding behind our Walgreens? I'm working with Elizabeth Holmes. I'm like falling over. I really hate a vein. You're so pale. I don't feel good. Do you, has there a VC there?

I need money. Get the VC to pick me up. Can I have one of your small milks and a sandwich from your cold area? Sure. I'm looking for VC. I'm taking on investments. God, that story, man. Smell milks.

It's really one of the greatest books I've ever read. I just couldn't stop. They're all very believable. Touting her, like, she's a genius. Yeah. But yeah, that is true. It's like so much of it is just blustery bullshit. Well, and also it's because you talk like this.

Yeah, everybody loves a hot blonde that talks like this. And wore the Steve Jobs outfit. Yeah, she did the whole fucking thing. So we're gonna take your blood. What's interesting is that I spray painted this box silver. I can't understand how low she made her voice. Yeah, and every... The effort.

The muscles in her neck. That's why she wore the turtle necks it was just there to sort of constrict it was like workout mushroom from loaning her vocal cords that's right cover up here tighten the leash I've got a speech now put the collar over all right. Oh God she's in jail now right. She is yeah okay I wasn't sure if he was actually in because you can make it baby. So yeah.

Yeah. Did you see the text exchange between her and Sonny Balwami, that her and she was like, I live for you, the sun and moon. And he was like, yeah, great. Yeah, that's amazing. And you were like addressing something that's not a title that makes sense.

Oh. That's amazing. Their relationship. Amazing. That's amazing. Their relationship. Amazing. That every relationship is incredible. And same. So he's hiring it.

And Janie is getting it to the website past the VCs. There's no engineers that he has to work 18 hour days. Jesus Christ. How waste. He just makes them. That's like, that's what he tells everybody, like, that you live for this job. That's what you get. So the office is small.

It's packed. The one ex-employee said, quote, it was this massive adolescent man that worked so hard. It stunk so badly in there, I can still smell it. Oh, no! Oh, wow! Mom! Oh!

But they got it done. And it goes live on Thanksgiving Day, 1999. Elon and Justine get married. Oh wow. She said, as they dance in the wedding, Elon said, quote, I am the alpha in this relationship. That, that's true. That is the craziest shit ever.

To be fair, he whispered it into her ear. I mean, but he whispered like this. I am the alpha of this relationship. I just the I mean, but he whispered like this. I am the alpha-fist relationship. I just the vows, sir, just the vows. During the marriage, he often told, you, Justine, she will. She will. I do, yes.

Yes. May I kiss myself? Yeah. I caught it. I got the flowers. Ooh. During the marriage, he often told her the ways she was failing him as a wife.

Justine quote, I am your wife, not your employee, and Elon will respond quote, if you were my employee, I'd fire you. Right. I mean. I mean. That's a time. Top. And this was like, she's just, this is a retrospective of the whole marriage.

Yes. This is the stuff she wrote in the script. This wasn't honeymoon stuff. No. So... Elon claims... To get feedback. Yeah, it is.

Yeah, you got to listen to the... Well, she married an alpha. Yeah, it was pretty clear. What did she think? What do you think, beta? Yeah. Elon claims 200,000 people signed up in the first months of X.com, but there was competition from a guy named Peter Teal.

Oh God, finally, a hero. Yeah. He was working on a person-to-person platform called PayPal. So the two companies start burning through money. Is it weird that we now all know x.com and whatever that other I'm not sure if I'm a nerd of?

Yeah. We know who won. So the two companies are just burning through money competing with each other and eventually they decide to merge and they get a hundred million in financing. Musk is the CEO. But immediately a lot of disagreements. The biggest was that Elon wanted to keep x.com and everybody else wanted PayPal. Focusgroups.x dot com sounded like porn

yeah i was gonna say still does to this day but especially back then because back then it was really the websites were poor moral x x x x stuff although there was one that was the white house dot com and it was born uh oh it was to get like teenage boys who were trying to do research or homework or whatever. That's genius. My God. That's fucking genius. Yeah. Oh my God.

What is just baseball.com? Yeah, soccer.com. Get them all. Sports in general.net. So, feel resigns after two months after the mercury can take it this is the second time a co-founder quit pretty quickly on uh... the first of five months is two months so x dot com keeps crashing

because of all the users there's also a lot of fraud there losing tons of money the more people sign up the worst of problems become are there any issues with the site it's all issues. Vance, quote, x.com lacked a cohesive business model to offset the losses and turn a profit from the money it managed. So everyone is now questioning Elon's decision-making because it's fucking nightmare. Right. So some executives get together at a Silicon Valley bar to brainstorm how to get rid of Elon. Hmm.

Just like grammar school. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Everything is. Okay, fine. All right, good. Get some stairs.

So that these stairs. So they decide they're going to get the board to bring back the deal. And not even in Justine are finally going on their honeymoon, they're going to Sydney. We have six hours upon landing. Upon landing, he finds out that the coupplotters have handed letters of no confidence to the board. And he bails on his honeymoon and goes straight back to California. Yeah.

When he arrives, Peter Tiel is already CEO. I bet Justin had such a great time. Like, in Australia, I really just like this is so much better. She's like, I truly prefer it. I prefer my honeymoon without him. Way better to enjoy myself. So better. Yeah, right. To enjoy myself. So x.com now becomes PayPal.

And x and play, quote, I think it would have killed the company if Elon had stayed on a CEO for six more months. Now the competency, oh, PayPal starts making money. It takes off. Elon and Justine go on their honeymoon this time to South Africa in December 2000. This place is going to shit. There's my old shoes store. Oh, good.

So my dad shot guys. I got beat up here. I got beat up there. Well, that's right, red books. And got beat up. We got to do our own dishes, I guess. I'm going to hate it here. During his time in South Africa, Elon caught malaria and almost died. Ten days in the ICU. Wow. So he comes out. He comes out with his doctors like, so this is where...

No, I'm the alpha. Tell you, I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. I'm the alpha. I tell you how to treat my malaria. I got it. I'll send a code, put it in my blood. You've been eating emeralds? So, after he gets that, he starts to read a valuable way in his life. He's like, what do I want to do? He decides to focus on what he always wanted to do, which is space.

Oh. Imagine if you're just- You want to get in space. Just be like, oh god. Seriously? No. Please. I want to be a rockin' man.

I'm a rockin' guy, honey. Oh. He wants mankind to be a multi-planetary species. Oh, just even hearing that. Again, I don't believe this yet, but okay. Like this is stuff that I think is added in after his life has come, you know, I don't believe this. The coworker was quoted in Bantie Fair as saying,

Elon promised to give away half his equity in PayPal dividing it evenly between, quote, the people that have worked hard to build the company and causes I believe make the world a better place. He never did that. Yeah. Okay. Either one. Either one. Okay.

Say, moves to LA and joins the board. Good. And gets into acting. No. No. No, my God. That'd be amazing. Chris Smith becomes because he was on Suddenly Susan.

He was a walk on pizza delivery guy. Here it is, extra peppers. Stop blinking so much and mowling the other actor's lines. He joins the suddenly Susan. Board of the Mars show when you're dropping off the beats extra pepper suddenly Susan She's Susan. He joins the board of the Mars Society Candy yes I would love to work for Mars and corporate it. Oh for me. It's always been all on Roka Society

What are they their own free standing society what yours? Roka society. What are they their own free standing society what yours? Almond Roka. I don't even know what that is From England and Manasota Or what is it for your fancy chocolates? What a dirt with your surf pals. I have to stop You gotta be you gotta one of the things for your ankles. Shut the fuck up. I'm sick of you, so fed! I'm in Roca, is this candy that comes in pre, like individually wrapped cold foil?

I know what it is, and like packs a three. Is it back to three? This guy loves that Walgreens, so that to make threes. Fucking brick. Try to fucking... York Wisconsin weirdo. This guy loves that Walgreens sold it to me. Fuckin' Fucking Comes in a brick Tryin' a Fucking Your work was constant weirdo Get some real candy up in your stupid fucking Midwestern shit Oh yeah, Poseidon, you want to fight?

Uh-uh Puss fight He's drunk again Come on Get your trident Fucking loser Uh-uh Uh-uh

So yeah, so the Mars Society, um told Wired Quote, it seemed crazy that there was no plan or schedule to explore Mars. That does seem crazy. So he gets, he starts getting those spaces people. Turns out we still have malaria. And you know that firsthand, you fucking fool. He starts getting to all these space people. He sets up an organization, the Life 2 Mars Foundation.

And they want to send something to Mars. And first of all, let's do mice. And then we'll bring them back. Like have a mice go to Mars and come back. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but we might still live that long. Oh, good luck with that idea. So that's a great idea to Mars and come back. Sure. I don't know if you guys are aware of this, but mice don't live that long. Oh, good luck with that idea. That's a great idea, Elon.

They let them run. How about this? How about you send a thing there and then bring back its corpse? Yes. It will be interesting. It's a conversation. So it's a bunch of skeletons.

By the way, we're almost all dying and we sent them. Sure, those are the mice we sent there, yeah. So then they're like, well, maybe we won't do mice. We'll do a robotic greenhouse. Better. So instead of a greenhouse, it sets up on its own and starts making plants. It's like a PR thing.

They want people to see that this is possible. It doesn't sound like they thought that through very. No, I don't think it's awesome. There's a big greenhouse. There will start growing. That Damon, Pupatitos, you got a hitty outta here. Meanwhile, there's a fern in your bathroom that has been dead for six months.

Like, we cannot transplant a live here. We got this. Good luck. The initial budget they came up with is 20 to 30 million, which experts knew was like, way, way, way, way under what they would cost. In 2002, eBay bought PayPal for 1.5 billion and Musk made 180 million after taxes.

You want to decided he needed now to buy a rocket. So he goes and meets with some Russians three times to discuss buying a rocket. Of course, we're excited. At the last meeting. Yeah, you wondered, you got it. What are you named? Yeah, you want the rocket?

We got the rocket. You want the rocket? There you go. This is a little bit of a spotnik thing. We put the chip in this in the A-D's. There you go. Take this. You fucking shit.

I mean, you're some businessmen. You're cool. What are you looking at? The area of our eyes fail. I can't see right now. I'm in the trance. There you go. So at the last meeting, Elon brought with him $20 million,

hoping to buy three rockets. They did a bunch of vodka shots, and then he asked how much for one, and they said $8 million, and Elon countered $2 for $8 million, and they laughed at him, so he stormed out. What'd you say? A SpaceX co-founder, however, has a different story,

quote, the leading designer of the Russian National Space Agency was very annoyed. In the end, he just got tired of listening and literally spat on our shoes. Oh, that's nice. They're both great stories. Yeah, either way. You do not have to pick.

That's the best part. I want the spit shoes on, but I'm happy with either. One in one, Elon's a baby, and the other Elon is annoying, and they spit on them. Yeah. Hard to choose. Now, you track the waves like daily, or is that just kind of... You have an app. You have an app. You have an app. Yeah, an app, yeah.

Yeah. Do you have a watch, surf videos on YouTube? Yep. Oh, wow. Who's your favorite surfer? I don't have a favorite surfer. Come on. I know. Oh wow. Who's your favorite surfer? I don't have a favorite surfer. Come on. Top two.

I don't. If I were to buy you a present and it was an autographed surf guy poster, would you hang it up? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

So while flying home, Elon decides to build a rocket instead. He's going to build his own. In June 2002, he formed rich people that want to go to space and that dedicate money and time to space are basically saying, I would rather everyone die than actually even an even approach empathy or caring about my common man. I would rather go into a void then give a shit about other human beings. There are social workers who will spend weeks trying to help one family, a mother and two kids. I do everything that you can just to get them into a place where they have a home and are safe and feel comfortable. And this guy, yeah, the comfort is fucking opposite. It is just so disgusting and so infuriating to me.

Yeah, no, this is, this is why, again, these stories are always like, we need to tax them out of existence because they are terrible. Should exist. Terrible people are terrible people. To a point where, however he started and whatever his reasons, and don't we all have reasons to be like psycho and hate humanity? Sure. But then when you get into a point where you're in that fuck you money, and nothing can touch you because you can buy, you can buy the justice system, you can buy your way out of anything, that's, you can buy, you can buy the justice system, you can buy your way out of anything,

that's, you can't help but any normal person or any average person can't help but go into supervillain mode, where it's like, how do we figure, I'm, my dreams must be made true. I'm going to go into this world where like, we have to start testing what Mars is like. It's like, no we fucking don't. I was thinking when you get that much money

because our system is catered towards that, you do think you're special. And it does give you this idea that you actually are special, you are extra important because you've got all this money. Not that you're just kind of a fucking prick who called the bank guy and he was like, wow, my wife left, make sure.

Yeah, no you got to do this, you have to get super sure. Yeah. Yeah, no, you got to do this. You have to get super lucky. Yeah, totally. Crazy lucky. This isn't like, you know. Well, yeah, he hasn't really done, he hasn't really succeeded. No, he's just been in places at the right time.

And PayPal's is a success despite him. Yeah, right. He made $180 million. Yeah. That's what this is. But why didn't, he could have done a thing where he got everybody to go to the beach once a month and just burned a pile of money More fun for society then what anything like space exploration does in terms of helping society

Space exploration is good. I think in the sense that it gets kids interested in science True, yeah, that's what I think is the sense that it gets kids interested in science. True, yeah. That's what I think is the most important thing about me. It makes people go, oh, we can do things I want to get into science. I think that's what it's most useful for. But travel for the average citizen, I guess. No. I'm specifically thinking of that thing of, let's all get on a rocket to go to Mars.

No. Well, wait, okay, so he forms space exploration technologies, space X, using a hundred million of his own money, he wanted it to be quote the southwest airlines of space. Oh well what is that? What the fuck are you talking about? I wanted it to be horrible. I wanted it to be a fucking word. I'm actually going to Mars and you have to pick your own seat. I'm actually going to Mars and you have to pick your own seat. You got to get in line. You got to get in. You got to pay an extra 15 bucks so that the system will put you in A4.

You got to stand in line. Someone comes up behind you. So are you A4 or 5? And then you get on. And you're like, I'm not interacting today. I can't make me talk to you today. Oh, God. Oh, God.

So he wants to make it really cheap space. Cheapest travel. It's also to make it really cheap space. Cheap space travel. It's also fucking dumb because this planet is. That's one of those things that you just say. That's one of those things that Rich Person just says. Yeah. You know, like simple cheap space travel. Because no one can have the conversation to not,

no average person in the cocktail party can go, oh, I'm sorry, it's uninhabitable. And you have no way to make it happenable. That's very interesting. That's very interesting. That's very interesting. You're like I literally don't know all the planets. Yeah right yeah right. My no most. I know all. What's the thing? I know three. Homes is it. Homes are not a planet. Elizabeth Homes? Is that a callback? Home's better be a minute. They need to plan after Elizabeth home.

Is there one for planets though? One of those things. Oh, you mean an acronym? Can't the Roy G bib? I don't know. There might be. Oh, is it Roy G bib? Yep.

It is. And there'll be no more thinking or dissecting that. Good idea. Sorry. It's a Roy G. Biff. Oh boy, we're not going to get a bunch of people tweeting out of this. Yeah, Dern. Um, so...

Dern. Dern. So... They, uh, they're expecting their first rocket engine to be done under a year and a second a month later and the body of the rocket a month later and so on until take off in November 2003. Oh, and a trip to Mars by 2010. Wow. Here we go.

Mm-hmm. Have everyone in the week? In May, 2002, Justine had their first child, but the baby died of SIDS after 10 weeks. Oh, God. Horrible. Yeah, he's had, yeah, as much as you hate him, he has had some terrible fucking shit,

like catastrophic, like awful. Elon did not want to talk about the child's death even with his wife. He said her grieving was quote, emotionally manipulative. How do you not feel sorry for a man who just had a baby die? Well, that's it. Yeah, I was just going to say. Although those are Errol's words. That's him.

He was raised by a person who couldn't do it. So that's him showing that he was raised by a person who couldn't do it. Absolutely, yeah. They instead went to IVF and tried to get pregnant again ASAP. A lot of acronyms. He threw himself into SpaceX. He hired a PA, Mary Beth Brown, known as MB. She worked the all the hours he did,

which is all the hours. There's more acronyms. Yeah, really weird. Yeah, we're going to keep going. I think acronym made today. All the hours, ALO. She defended Elon, the ELO, and from people. Peeps.

She would also give people heads up about his mood. Like she was like the for years. He's weird again today. Just be careful because he's gonna take a swing at you. He's very strange again. He's e-learning. He's e-learning again. SpaceX started testing the first engine.

Trying to drink water through his ear again. He thinks it's a cheat. I don't know. That way you can still talk. He calls it Mars drinking. He's doing Mars drinking. He's in Mars checking. You know how he does it. Space X started testing the first engine in the year.

It was supposed to burn for 180 seconds to get into space. It burned for half a second. Close? It's close. Then up close. It's 179 and a half to go. That is less. It's close. Close. It's 179 and a half to go. That's right, almost. Yeah, every baby steps.

Yeah, baby steps. No, I think the fuel's 179th full. Yep. A crack-to-vibrated parts that were constantly breaking when they got the first customer, the Department of Defense. We got a lunch, 10, 9. We're interested. Yes, we'll do this.

You're not getting our office around. We'll throw money here. We like a lunch deadline. We're interested. Yes, we'll do this. You're not getting our office around. I will throw money. Good. We like what we hear. Launch deadline set for early 2004 and that meant employees were expected to work 12 hour days, six days a week. To take it easy on them. Yeah, we're going to real things in a little bit. You guys get to free time. A lot worked longer. Elon generously gave them a break by allowing quote, everyone to use their work computers to play first-person shooter games, like Quake 3 Arena and Counter Strike,

Musk playing into the handle, random nine, often won games, talking trash, and blasting away his employees without mercy. Well, the fact that he doesn't realize that people don't want to kill him because he's the boss is fucking crazy. Yeah, not at times guys are like, I'm going to kill him in the game. Yeah, I mean, he's a guy notoriously that's yelling at people and treating people badly.

He hates to hear no. So you, you really, this is not a guy you want to kill yelling at people and treating people badly. He hates to hear no. So you really, this is not a guy you want to kill at a video game. Yeah, right. He loves, he did fairly, he's fairly watching. He's very, I don't want to take that away from him. Right. Ethan loves how, explaining how important the work is.

Electric cars to save some climate change, getting man off the earth. So we can't be killed by a meteor. It's a tool to get people to work longer, brutal hours. You're doing something for the greater goods. Right. We're all in this together. Me or humanity. Us. We. You. Meteor. Meteor. So you know they're sacrificing the lives for the greater good. Instead of hiring more people. That's the other thing you could do. Sure. Also, when we have time I'd love to talk to you're getting people off the planet when the meteors come in, because it's simply, oh, God, how many rockets would be required? Oh, yeah, no, it's insane. Yeah, no, it's very obvious. This is just like so, man. So very few of us go somewhere. Yeah. And even if you do go, you're like, he's here.

Okay. So what do we, like, uh, we'll go back, I'll go back for real show me one science fiction move They're like there's a meteor coming get the poor people to safety There's a meteor coming but we're doing boarding group B1 through 31. It's truly self-wast In the press elums claims made it sound like if he designed like as if he was designing the rockets himself which enraged all the engineers. Sure. An X SpaceX worker said engineers were, quote, fired for things they hadn't done. The kiss of death was proving Elon wrong about something. Great system.

Yeah, it's a really good system. That's good, because then everything is bad. It's very bad, easily. Yeah, it's like you're the ADL Many stories about saying no to Elon and getting fired many many stories by mid 2004 no rocket had been launched So they moved to a test site on the Quasiline a toll which is part of the Marshall Islands. I. Now this is courtesy of... Hey asshole, no I know. So where are they in the Atlantic?

Near where you're surfing with your brother. Oh man. Yeah, I think he knows the whole ocean. Yeah, that's good. It's like... It's north of Hawaii. It's right near where Graham, I'll with surfboarders. Get out of here, asshole.

Boom. Ah. Ah. Ah. So the US Army sets them up there. It's in a toll, right? They ship all their equipment over. A technician quote, it was like Gilligan's Island except with rockets.

What? I'm having trouble. It was very different things. Cocaine. Coconut cocaine. You want to do a bump a Coconane? An electric car company named Tesla Motors was incorporated on July 1, 2003 by Martin Eberhart and Mark Tappening. Tarpening, sorry. They want to create, quote, a car manufacturer that is also a technology company.

He won a vested 6.5 million in 2004. He was the biggest shareholder became chairman of the board None of them had experienced manufacturing cars in 2005 in January they had a prototype. He'll invested nine million more dollars They plan to deliver cars by 2006 But the engineers knew there was a problem When the batteries caught on fire. They

exploded, quote, like a cluster of bottle rockets. Well, it's not a problem for you on you. He loves rockets. Yeah. Here we go. Two birds of one stone. That's my dream car. Very close to mine as I believe in them. In 2005, the New York Times wrote an article on Tesla. An ever-hard, and the other engineers get nice coverage. They talk to him, they interview him. Elon gets nothing. A Tesla, because he is just chairman of the board. He hasn't done anything.

Sure. A Tesla employee, quote, we tried to emphasize him and told the reporter about him over and over again, but they weren't interested in the Chairman of the board of the company Of course Elon was fucking livid On the atoll things were grim logistics were bad. Oh, sorry. He's livid from the atoll No, he's limit that he wasn't in the story. Oh, so he didn't go to them. No, he's not on the atoll He's not in the door. He's in offices in Los Angeles. He's not on the atoll.

I totally pictured him in Gilligan's house. Oh my God. That'd be amazing. Yeah. With that outfit on. Bucking that. Yeah, that's all they'll win. He knows how to do an island.

Oh, he doesn't. So all the atoll things are really grim. Logistics are bad. It's getting very tense. SpaceX managers were pushing the engineers to do more and more and more. One said they, quote, felt like slaves out on Omuleck with all the power stripped away from us. One day in the fall, the managers scolded them.

They just sit them down and fucking chew them out for not doing enough. And engineers feel like they're being pushed to do more than they're humanly possible. Like they cannot do what they're being asked to do. It's such a bad attitude. But, okay, we'll do a bad one. When you're saving the world, that's to do. It's such a bad attitude. But, okay, we'll keep on having that. When you're saving the world, that's your attitude. Yeah, it's just like dig deep, but... We could get humans onto Mars.

Yeah, not you, but others. So we're a little harder. You'll be dead. Good Lord. And then on that day, that they get chewed out, the expected supply ship doesn't arrive. So there's no food, no beer, no cigarettes, and they're fucking

pissed. Yeah. And they call the launch director and say they're going on strike until they get food and cigarettes. I love striking for cigarettes. Right. Yeah. I'm going to go. I'll see you guys later. Thanks for having me. An army helicopter is called in to make a food drop. Quote, we were just wild animals on the island waiting for food. The helicopter dropped chicken wings and cigarettes and they returned to work. That is amazing. That would be so messy. Oh yeah, it's prouling. The filth of the hands and the situation here. Yes, the activities cannot be combined. What are you doing first?

Sigs are wings. Sigs first, right? I say first for sure. It would have to be. And then a big winging and then followed by clean hands, all sigs. I would think if you're hungry and you're waiting, and you also want cigarettes, you would go cigarettes first first right? Well, yeah, you you you both smoked

Oh yeah. Oh good lord. I'd do one right now. I bang a heater. I'll spark it up. You're right. Call me call the heaters. Oh yeah. Smoke stick. Yeah, bang a heater. Chimmy cannon. Stop talking. I'm gonna tell your surf friends that you're smoking. Oh yeah., fucking loose my mind Smell your lungs dude and their body will respect you sick-powded a dude Dave are you all right looks like you smashed that coral pretty hard when you're trying to barrel through that tube Do you say stuff like that? No.

Never. Do you wear sunglasses when you surf? You already asked me that. No. You're running out of questions. I'll think of a couple. All right, good. So these messages.

You put a towel on the beach? Oh, yeah. Save your spot. Sometimes. Sometimes. What is it? My spot. Your money and stuff. You're in the key.

Leave it in the car. What do you put your keys? He doesn't need money in the ocean man. It's so true. Okay. Clam shells. True. And,

do you have you named your board? Frank, will you rename your board? Bobby. Will you stop pitching names like that for your parents? Do you, so when you're making love to your board, do you're like Bobby, Bobby? Yeah, yeah.

Interesting. Let's go Bob. Yeah, let's do this. So anyway, they get the message out there on the, on the atoll to start treating the workers better. Eventually, they are treated better like they get a weighing 6 regularly. Yes. But they have to basically strike to get it. Right. Space such finally launches a rocket in March 2006, but a codon fire had fell to Earth. Elon publicly blamed a technician for the fuck up, saying he'd failed to tighten a fuel pipe.

That's great leadership. Yeah, that's the best. You do, right? When there's a failure, you point at one guy. He did not name him, but the tech, they were talking about new, they were trying to throw them out of the bus. So he flies to Los Angeles to confront Elon face to face. Oh, that's great.

A spite flight? That's great. That's great. He storms into Elon's office, furious, and they have a screaming match. Right. Later to show it, it was nothing to do with the technician. It was because SpaceX tried to save weight

by using aluminum instead of staying the steel let decroation in the sea air So it's all Elon's fucking fault Yeah, but hmm stop saying that Abord member later said the tech quote kind of got blamed so that they could out an answer so they could So they could have an answer to the investors as to why the launch had not worked. Right, so it's the exactly like we said, it's not leadership. Whereas the leader would be like, yes, this is our fault.

We figured out where a team, we're trying to work this out. Instead, he goes, it's that guy. It's Jeff. You Jeff. I just want to wing Jeff's mouth is Fuck you, Jeff. I just want to wing. Jeff's mouth is covered in the full sauce. Huh? I'm just trying to smoke.

Please. They won't even give us the wings anymore. It's just the sauce is there. Can you please get blue cheese dip for us? Please. Or ranch. But at the end of the day, Elon's companies are all Elon Musk. He's the PR, he's the advertising, he's everything.

So he can't have anything wrong, he can't do anything wrong. Because then the whole thing collapses. It's just funny that that is the case and that he went into aeronautical engineering. Right. And he went into the thing that the literal rocket science the hardest the hardest the hardest The thing where you know 10 fail and then one goes up like it's fucking rockets like they all blow up all the time We've watched it for you know 80 years or whatever they fucking blow up and explode and try again

That's the end of part one. Jesus Christ. You love must Yeah, try again. That's the end of part one. Jesus Christ Elon Musk Research. Thank you Charlotte George. She did an amazing job and a good job Charlotte There's a bunch of different sources the number of being Ashley Vance the Elon Musk and then Anna Reading Crowley Elon Musk a mission to save the world There's some people that really like to blow smoke Elon's ass. Also business insiders. Why would you take off? Business insiders done a stuff, the Guardian, a square magazine, Bernadier Fair, Washington Post,

Fortune magazine CNN, Mercury News, reveal news, the young Turks, wired LA times, the Hill, ABC, Australia, Adalo Reuters, MSN, Politico, Mamamia. Mamamia? I actually remember that.

I remember that part. Mamamars. The Canadian Chiropractic Association. We really don't want to be cited. Matthew Sweetwai, Bezos, and Elon Musk, real business inspiration is science fiction. LA Times, and I said that. I said that's choir, right? Yeah.

Absolutely. Matthew Sweet, the musician. Yeah, the journalist. I like the journalist. Yeah. That's correct. Him and I got it by voices. It's done a lot of work on Elon Musk's.

Oh, nice. So good. That's cool. So we'll be back next week with part two and everything goes really well. In the future? He turns it all around. Oh good, okay. Yeah. Walk me through this yellow pages online. It's like a new list of businesses. you