The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 606 - Captain Ellen Jack - live

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Comedians Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds examine lady miner Captain Ellen Jack Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Mindbloom

This is the future where data silos and skewed visibility are history and risk management intelligences interconnected across finance, procurement and compliance. Welcome to the world's most comprehensive set of B2B insights, covering hundreds of millions of businesses worldwide. Continuously updated in the Dunn and Bradstreet data cloud. Get future ready, assess, monitor, and manage risk with Dunn and Bradstreet data cloud. Get future ready, assess, monitor, and manage risk with Dunn and Bradstreet risk management solutions. No! No! David! That was a request by the audience. That was a Tuckus Ruckus.

The, uh... What's going on with you, man? I heard a lot of people yelling and shaking that ass. We know why. So I did it. You're listening to the dollop! Here we go. Here we go.

APPLAUSE This is an American History podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to a cake. Yeah, Red Threaddle do has no idea what the topic is going to be about. What is that? That's cake. But what kind of cake? Chocolate cake. Chocolate cake.

Look at that shit. No, thank you very much. I appreciate it. I had 17 slices of cheesecake last night. We can get a slice of chocolate cake, but a bit for Dave. Oh, no, no, no, he's really ready for it. The reason happened last night, because there was a guy at this table right here who had cheesecake,

and I was like, holy fuck, look at that thing. And then, then, like, seven people were like, I would like to send Dave cheesecake on stage, and they were like, okay, he doesn't eat that much cheesecake. I did, though, that's it. Yeah, you, I mean, I was just gonna say, what, what, who, no lessons were learned? You ain't a, you don't make misdecisions for me.

Comedy, fucking plays. It's Christ. I'm trying to keep it together. It's really going poorly. What are you talking about? You just lost your mind. And I think it's the same mistake you almost said, Miss Caink. I saw it.

God. God Lord. We are brought to you in part by mind-of-them. I am going through puberty. Is there two puberty in a life? Are you deep puberty? There's a later one. How great would it be if you went back?

You had a puberty and then at like 55, you go, you're like, yeah, I'm going back for it. You reverse it, yeah. And then you're a baby again. Yeah. Kind of what happens. Yeah, sort of. And how could you cope with the dark realities we live in? Yeah, like a lot of people are dealing with depression and anxiety these days. I've had my share of that in the past, and it's hard. It's a very hard to deal with.

You try to figure out different ways to handle it. But, you know, there's no quick easy fix. You just can't just find any therapist to start working out or, you know, eat better. Like, it's a whole process. Yes. You gotta go through, sometimes you need something to unlock your brain and have a new

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Take the first step to break free from your anxiety and depression with mindbloom mindbloom.com slash dollop and use promo code dollop. November 4th, 1842. I'm not going to say it because you're good, you're not a believer. Nope. And that'll be weird when you go to fucking hell. Ellen Elliott was born on the original Fox homestead in New Lenton, Nottingham, England. She says the Fox homestead? That's the fucking Fox homestead. You know what that is? Yeah. What? Oh, women mate, birds. She's a fox, yeah. Diggy, labae, awesome. Ah.

Look at that fox, yeah. Ellen Elliott, right? Yeah. Diggy, mate. Love it. Ooh. You've got my chastises. I didn't know.

I thought you're grabbing yourself, but you were like, What? They're me. Yeah. Yeah, early, yeah. Sorry. Guilty. Yeah, early, yeah. Sorry, guilty. Yeah.

Apologies. George Fox founded the Quakers in the mid 1600s. OK. This was the pad. All right. Ellen claimed that when she was seven, a band of gypsies camped on the estate and prophesied that Ellen was a quote,

Rosa Crucian. A Rosa Crucian? Yep. Go ahead and tell me what that is. Well, we all know what a Rosa Crucian is. Yep. It's red shellfish. So you think the prophecy is that Ellen is a red shellfish?

Yes, I do. Judging, yeah, looking at the... Can I say it? You're not allowed to say that word anymore. Gypsy? You know, it's from the time... What do you use in Romanian? I don't know. Travelers? What about Gypsy? You know, it's from the time... What do you say, Romanian? Right or no?

Travelers? What about Gypsy? Roman. I... It says Gypsy in the script. In the script, see. What? Huh? Yep. All right. A rose accrucian, yeah, rose accrucian,

is a finder of hidden treasures and a great traveler. It's like a human metal detector. They should have just said that. You're going to be a human metal detector. Well, that treasure doesn't necessarily mean like a guy on a beach. Look at her question. Why don't you go up to any guy with a beach. Look at her question.

Why don't you go up to any guy with a metal detector and ask him what he's looking for? See what his answer is. It's treasure. Treasure's the answer. Treasure. My wife left people. When I get that treasure, I'll prove her wrong.

The Roma. Who? Who? We're proud of you. No, all the Roma listeners, to be really happy. The uh, Roma. We're proud of you. No, all the Roma listeners are gonna be really happy. Also said Ellen would meet great sorrows and be a widow early in life. That's a crazy call to be like, you're gonna fight treasure.

Bless your husband's gonna die. Early in, you are gonna be fucking bummed out. How sucks. You're gonna miss him. Keep looking for that treasure. It's gonna be another person on the beach with a metal detector. Lonely person with a metal detector. They're not lonely.

Yes, they are. I do not mind. You're just deciding what they are. They are lonely and looking for treasure. They're looking for something that isn't there, and I like that they just hugged each other. She's like, I'm glad you don't have a metal detector. And she's like, I'm glad you're hugging there with me.

Do you have a metal detector? Sun does. Sun does. You're like, oh boy, we're raising a virgin. He's got a metal detector, but not a pussy magnet. How old is he? Almost nine. He's almost nine.

Of course he's got a fucking head. Right at the cutoff. So weird that you want that kid to get laid. I'm just seeing in the future. It's very uncomfortable now. Yeah, I can tell I made it uncomfortable, but I'm just saying a couple more years, then you gotta be like, hey,

he's out there in the sand on the beach looking for coins and garish behind him. Yeah, you're gonna find him, push you there, kid! You got two more years, Charlie. Two more. As a teen, Ellen was attractive with long blonde hair, and she fell in love with a man named Carl, who was Russian. We don't know anything about, we don't know his last name. We just know.

Carl the Russian, we're fine. It's plenty. There's not a lot of us named Carl over there. It's not like here. Then they're very unique. That's like a Pierre. Pierre. He was her first love, but he was very jealous. And one day in a fitter age, after seeing her with another guy,

he stabbed Ellen several times in the chest. Oh, hi, guys. I don't like this guy. I am... there's red flags. I'm sowered on him. Yeah. Now, if I'm her, you don't take him back unless there's a real apology attached to it. Yep. Yep.

If you say you won't do it again, we'll talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Even then, yeah. Uh, the guy... Why wouldn't the travelers tell her that? She's like, Jesus Christ, I didn't find treasure.

I haven't widowed anyone. Why did you tell me my boyfriend was going to stab me in the chest because I chatted to another man? They said sorrows. Ah. Very vague. Now the guy she was with. Carl.

No, the guy she was with, the Carl got mad when he saw her with. That turned out to be her cousin. So that was a little awkward. Well, I must say, I'm vitally happy that we are actually item. You, I must say, I'm very happy that we are actually item. I'm proving so much to me.

But Ellen recovered. And her sister, Lydia, was married, and she was going to New York, and she begged Ellen for a change of scenery, get away from it all, and Ellen finally agreed to go with her. Just for a trip, though. She loved New York, but she got really sick when she was there. And so she had to be nurse back to health.

And when she was finally well enough to travel, she took a ship. And while she was on the ship back, she had to help the doctor on board while he amputated a young Irish girl's legs. Christ. Wait, she went to New York. Yeah, you're the one with the script.

She went to New York and then got really sick. Huh? Nurse back to health and then as she's taking a ship back to where, back to England. Back to England? Back to England. She had to help cut off an Irish woman's legs. That's right. Okay.

That was just what it was like legs. That's right. OK. That was just what it was like on a ship back then. Yeah. You know what I mean? Do you want the ticket where you cut legs off or no? No, I think it'd rather do. Well, what's the price difference? It's $12.

Gosh, I'm supposed to find treasure quite soon, but haven't located it yet. You can keep the legs. That's not really part. No, I'm supposed to find treasure quite soon, but haven't located it yet. You can keep the legs. That's not really... No, I'm not... Don't tell me on other things. Sorry, I'm an eat. I don't know. Sorry.

Superlust. I'll take the cheap ticket. But I don't want the... You can... You don't have to take the legs. I don't want to take it. But we will put them in your room. All right, man. I'll put want to take it. But we will put them in your room. All right, man. I'll put them out the window.

That's littering. All right. Well, I'll get rid of them somehow. Well, that's very rude. Yeah, please. Some woman is giving her legs to you. And you're just going gonna throw them away. Okay. I might just swim, honestly.

It seemed like, not that hard to do that time, I bet. But on that ship, I assume maybe before the legs or after whatever, she met a new fella. He's a new guy, Charles E. Jack, the first officer. He was handsome, he was charming, and once back in England they got married All right now Carl's like will will will no one pissed Step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step-step- you. Yep. Easy does it. Easy. Oh, one, two buddy boy. So they now as a couple move to America and they settle in Brooklyn. Nice. Yeah. So Ellen had a girl, Nettie, and then Charles was drafted to fight in the Civil War. Nice. When he returned, he had heart issues and some other injuries.

So then they had a son. Heart didn't stop him from... Yeah, not everything was broken. So they had two kids who both died of scarlet fever. Needing change because two of their children died, the jacks moved to Chicago. They had another girl, but soon after that there was a fire and they lost everything. And not the girl? No, the girl still alive.

For now, they moved to Kansas to give a shot, a good farming a shot. Okay. And Ellen had a fourth kid. Well, second. So they're farming. Technically, well, fourth. Stop it. They margaret.

Margaret. So, to a life. Yep, thank you. Soon after Charles died from the injuries, he sustained during the war. Jesus, those were, those took a while. Yeah, slow, slow. Well, I should have put a bandage on it.

Bye bye, honey. Good luck. Oh boy. Does Kim bleed, and nintin. Hey, didn't you say Traverers told you the dirt. LAUGHTER Ellen took his name, the whole thing. I'm Charles.

So from now on, Hello, I'm my husband Charles. And this is my wife, Ellen. Man, that's a horse. Sir, that's a horse. I'm my husband Charles, and this is my wife Ellen. Man, that's a horse. Sir, that's a horse. Thank you. The Civil War did a lot.

It put brother against brother, like me and my friends who were guys. Certainly wasn't easy out there. It's the smells that stick with me, I guess. Never knew death had a smell till that war. Oh, I did. I'm probably going to go over here and whisperly tell something out the window instead. I didn't realize you were there.

I've been bottling it. I'm just going to shut this door a little bit. Really? Can you spell me? Yeah. You don't fuck it. I'll just be Ellen. I'll stick with it.

I'm going to take more time. So from now on, she was called Captain Ellen Jack. What's going on? So on, she was called Captain Ellen Jack. Huh? What's going on? Was he even a captain? He was. He was a captain, yep. Okay, so she's just like, I'm now a captain, too.

That's how it works. I got the hat. It's official. It's, uh, it's, uh, it's hereditary. Well, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, no, it's contagious. No, well, like if your husband is a general and he dies, you're just not hereditary.

Inherited? Oh, man, I'm mad. It's like so security. If you're married to someone and they die, and there's so security's more, you get it. Yeah, she did. She wasn't like gifted, you suggest. You get it, you get that amount. Yeah, she didn't, it wasn't like, genetically you're a captain. Wife of this man.

And then they give you a ship. Yeah, I'm sure. Wow, it's rare when I know more than you about what's going on. And right now, I'm the captain now. So she had a war widow's pension, which gave her a bit of financial independence. $264 a year?

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, fuck yeah. Right? The treasure has been located. It's good, right? The cheesecake's good. Jesus Christ, Dave. What's your problem. I'm just, you know, stop it.

Look at him. Look at him, go, they love it. You have a cake fetish that is like a marriage fetish? I like to bond with the audience. You're not bonding. All you're doing is, yeah, it's like cake harassment. You like the cake, huh? What's your favorite bite? Sir, put your shirt on. I have to. I'm a captain!

So she's getting 264 here. The average worker salary is 438. So it's low, but you know, okay. Lippable. Lippable. So Ellen, she'd now, I guess she had money, because she built a hotel in Coney Island. She's this Christ. It called it the Bonton. The Bonton? B-O-N-T-O-N.

Bonton? Bonton. I think it'll be Bonton, right? Sure. I would imagine. Or maybe it's Bonton. Bonton? Bonton? Bonton?

Stop trying. You're getting way further away from whatever it is. I'm 100%. Buh-buh! The Brooklyn Daily Eagle called it quote, somewhat unsightly. Yeah. Before Yelp. And said it did not have an enviable reputation.

Nice. And then it burned down. Oh, well, that's not great for a place Ellen had to rest gone Ellen had to rescue her daughters and their nurse from the second floor Jesus. What was the nurse doing? She was like I paralyzed the fear You're an adult too Captain take us She got insurance money even though Arson was suspected.

I don't know, would she really, with her kids inside? You're not going to burn down. No. Katie Anthony! Because of that, her friends started avoiding her. She said, quote, But because of that, her friends started avoiding her. She said, quote, I began to see that the only friend on Earth was money.

Oh. So she ran for Senate. What a horrid lesson to take. Yes, sir. So I realized the only thing you're supposed to do is get money. Uh, treasure. Yes.

That metal detector, which is fine. It's fine. It's fine. It's fine. Don't worry. Don't you sweat it. Her daughter, Margaret, died in 1878. Ellen was overwhelmed with grief, so she sought out a

spiritualist. So over over time she got to know four women spiritualists and they told Ellen she was a healer. One of the women met him clipper. Her daughter just died of scarlet fever, right? Not that good of a healer like acne and stuff. One of the women... One of the women, Madame Clifford, then asked Ellen to take care of her child as the kid had brights disease Brights disease? It's like when your kidney shut down. Okay Madame Clifford also said that the what the Roma had said which was Ellen was a Rosacrucian born to find hidden treasures Hmm. My God. What just happened? What did just happen?

Went away. Oh, my God. We'll find it again. Oh, there it is. I don't know what that was close. What a magical thing this is. Dave, stop. I think I'm a spiritual human.

I think I'm a spiritual human. So Ellen decided to do exactly that. She left her 10-year-old daughter with her sister-in-law to head west and find gold. She described her sister-in-law as, quote, beautiful with a heart as cold as ice. What? That's who you chose? Yes.

Take bad care of her. I won't be back. I'm off to find my treasure. It was very, very uncommon at the time to leave for a woman to leave a child behind and strike out and find gold. Sure. Her relationship with her daughter for the rest of her life would be complicated. What do you attribute that to? I mean, just like, bitterness, like, get over it. So your mom left it.

So what? I quit the band. I went solo, relax. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I leave you with a witch? Yeah. I was looking for gold. Yeah. That's good. Lord. So at 37, Captain Ellen Jack headed for Denver to prospect. Woo! She arrived in 1880, the population...

One day we're gonna legalize mushrooms. That's right, we into the fungus, to grow out of poop. You eat enough of it and it'll make you go, go, go, go, go, go, go! You wanna lay down, close your eyes on your head, and let the one inside your brain open wide.

We're gonna legalize that here. Right after grass is okay. Ba-da-ba-da-ba, we're the best! What's a matter, guy? Don't like horse poop? Don't like cow feces? Oh, I like cow feces. Well, then, have I got an apple for you to bite into? Like those apples that make you go yum yum, bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb You haven't eaten psilocybin yet. Can't it take a trip?

No. Well, why don't you look at the ticket? Because it's round trip. From here to the inside of your soul. And then right back. You don't need luggage just something to carry your lessons in. As it's 100% natural, that's right, no funky tonics, no weird serums, nothing like that. 100% pure on the earth. Your religious fellow? Well, surely the Lord would have put something poisonous inside

the feces of one of his greatest creatures. You ever drink the milk from a cowboy? Not a cowboy, a lesson you're not. You're about to sit under the boatry, my boy. Like Nirvana, not the band. I'm with you. Let's get out of here. This guy talks a little funny. I don't trust him. I'm gonna go back to Chicago.

Well, not without a lesson you're not. You're about to sit under the boatry, my boy. Like Nirvana, not the band. I am with you. Let's get out of here. This guy talks a little funny. I don't trust him. As Ellen walked down the street, she heard someone yell, quote, Captain Jack! It was her old nurse, the one she'd rescued from the fire. Oh, wow. Jenny. So Jenny had come to Denver, gotten married, but then her husband was abusive,

and he enjoyed his time with sex workers. So she left him, and then she opened a brothel. Oh, wow. So Jay told Ellen to go to Gunnison. It was a, is it still there, Gunnison? Yeah. It's been going to be amazing if they got rid of it. I don't know if that's how it works.

Now we eradicated it about five years ago. Gunnison's gone. Half of the mining towns are gone. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they just, they come and they go. So it was a raging town and miners were just pouring in. about five years ago. Gutterson's gone. Half of the mining towns are gone. Yeah, they just, they come and they go. So it was a raging town and miners were just pouring in. So Ellen takes a carriage to Gutterson. Hmm, like Chicago.

The Chicago of Colorado, they called it, David. So she led the men on the carriage see that she was carrying a Smith and Wesson 44. Nice smart, very smart to do that. Oh, do you have room for my gun up there? I guess I'll just hold it. Hi, boys. I'm crazy.

Nobody fuck with me. I'm a captain. The first day in town, she met Jeff Mickey and they hit it off. Now Ellen opened a restaurant and a boarding house and called it Jack's Cabin. It was 24 feet by 50 feet. It was a tent. That's more helpful than me. And it had six small rooms partitioned for quote bedrooms for the girls

But men also boarded there like the Bonn Tahn it also quickly did not have the best reputation Okay, dirty dirty tint. Yeah Jeff Mickey opened a salon a saloon on I You need a complete new look for the fall. Do you understand me? I don't like what you're doing, and I can tell, you don't like it either. Whiskey, not Airboys.

You're gonna get a total new look here. We're gonna blow it out. How about a shot of reality? So he opened his saloon on Ellen's lot. It was a very bad place full of drunks and lots of fights. Sure. Were there saloons that weren't like that? Probably. I mean, there were some that, yeah.

Okay. So Jeff once held a funeral for a man who was just passed out. Well, Eric was a hell of a guy. Seems like just 45 minutes ago he was up on the bars, singing, drinking ale. And now he's for sure dead. Eric was a hell of a guy. Seems like just 45 minutes ago, he was up on the bars, singing, drinking ale. And now he's for sure dead.

I'll never forget his last words. Check my pulse before doing anything rash. We got two boys out back, digging a hole, big enough for him right now. The best thing to do is strip him naked and take his goods. This man is deceased. He had, quote, burning candles at his head and feet,

and tons of people came to pay their respects. So he treated him like a birthday cake, boys. Look out, Dave Anthony's gonna come in here and cut a slice off his leg. He did it just to get people to come in. He's dead. Yeah. This man's dead. So people are coming and buying drinks.

Now let me ask you this Dave, you hear a fella died in a bar. Are you more inclined to go in or keep looking? I don't want to answer. I'm going in. I'm going in. It's a strong drink. Wow, a dead guy. Do you have apps?

If you do, get ready. He had a better day than when he hired a brass band. So it was a real attractor. That's a bad moral for a saloonkeeper to learn. Jeff also opened a gymnasium and a boxing school next door. How great would it have been to see the gymnasium at that time? So like I said, Jeff opened a gymnasium and boxing school next door. Boxing, there's no boxing, by the way. No, yeah.

Jeff was known as a good guy when sober, but awful when drunk. Nice. He's a bit of a... And now you get what I had this. On Christmas days, some drunk Frenchmen refused to pay their bill. Yeah. No. Where I come from, you're not supposed to.

Why, it would be an insult for me to pay my part-time? And I respect you to go there much. There's no way. I like your way too much. Coda, get a little more gin and tonic, eh? Fuck off. Well, listen, I would love to pay you. Is that OK?

Yes, I would like money. I can't. Why? You mean too much to me. That's not a thing. I couldn't push it. I own a fucking bar. I understand.

All right, about this, huh? I pay you one year from today, twice as much. Yeah. You're in three, huh? No. Or in three years, you can have five times as much. Hmm? Now I've got you listening, huh?

You like what you hear, huh? No. Or tomorrow I could pay you a quarter. What? Why? I mean, who is this guy? What's he up to? The fear of the guy?

The fear of the guy? The fear of the person of you. No. What? Hey, man. Is it crazy how close we've gotten so short a time? We haven't. I feel the same way. We're vibing.

We're vibing. No. I tell you what, I work here for you. For half price. Other than I can drink. No. I live with you. No.

You become my apprentice. No. We share women. No. Come on. OK. No, we share women. No, come on. Okay. We share men. Okay. You just gotta find the right bait to put on the hook and someone bites, huh?

God, I love us. So in the Frenchman, the Frenchmen used to pay their bill, and led to a fight, and the fights built into the street. And Ellen jumped in and tried to hit one of the men with a bottle, and she was then beaten with clubs and fists, and hit with a Tomahawk laced with poison.

Jesus Christ! Were they an escalation alley? What the fuck? You cannot go from bottle to Tomahawk Poison Tomahawk poison Tomahawk don't fight the French What did we tell you? So Jeff pulled out his gun and shot hitting a man on the arm and Jeff was then horribly beaten and the and They were all arrested the French he's included Ellen came away with a permanent scar on her forehead

and a partial vision loss. She couldn't run her business for six weeks. That's it? Yeah. That is quite a foot. Well, look, I'm going to be out for almost two whole months because someone put a Tomahawk in me. Jeff was charged with assault.

She filed a $2,000 civil suit against the Frenchman. And now this brought them closer. Three months later, Ellen and Jeff got married. At the trial, one guy admitted hitting her. But the judge told the jury to find for the defendants, because Ellen had gone, quote, to the scene of the Afray and taken part in it. The judge told who?

The jury. The jury. How it works. I don't think so. No. I pretty sure the judge is supposed to be like, whatever you guys think. But it says, well, I've reached a verdict.

Now for you to listen to what it's going to be. And he said not to let the fact that she was a woman carry any weight. Which is one of those things is like when you point it out it's like, now listen obviously it's a woman but don't let that come into your thinking. I know it's not for me. I mean it's hard. Obviously it's all I'm thinking about. But try to be in pressure.

We find the defendant guilty, not guilty. What is her jury? What is this place? The six band jury found for the defendant's and Ellen was forced to pay $50 for court costs. So she had to pay $50 for the top of her heart? Correct. Now, Jeff Mickey was found guilty of assault,

and he was fined $80. Two months later, the sheriff arrested Jeff and Ellen for keeping a disorderly house, which meant allowing gaming, drinking, cursing, swearing, quarreling, challenging to fights, fighting and otherwise misbehaving. Okay. So like a cool place. Yeah. So in, uh, H-81, the population was exploding as were prophets.

Jeff opened the bowling alley and the gymnasium by the gymnasium. On December 19th, policemen, Jimmy McLeese went into a saloon and arrest to arrest someone. And the owner told them to get out and they started pushing each other and then McLeese shot the owner who died. And some McLeese's arrested for murder, but they didn't put him in a jail cell. They just had a guard watching him,

but the guard at night locked the room door they were in and put the keys in his pocket, and then put the pants under his pillow, and somehow McLeese figured out how to escape. I'm gonna need that one more time. Okay, okay, fair. So they're in a room and the guard's watching him and at night the guard locks the door and puts the keys in his pocket and then takes off his pants and puts the... In the same room.

Yes, and puts the pants under the pillow. I mean, it's hard to find the craziest move but I'm pretty sure it's that one. Let me take my pants off and put them under my pillow. Hopefully the trouser fairy comes. That one. Now, if you take my pants off, put them under my pillow, hopefully the trouser fairy comes. So he escapes and then apostles. How? I don't know.

She's mad. We got a real Houdini on our hands. A sheriff's boss that came to Jack's place to look for him and he was hidden in the cellar. So Jeff and Eleanor arrested. And then Eleanor swears at a warrant to have the sheriff arrested for false imprisonment, but he refused to be arrested by a different sheriff.

He's allowed to, I mean, I don't know what happens on sheriff on Sheriff Crime. Is he allowed to do that? No, damn it. He knows how to do this. I guess he's not, this is his first sheriff, sheriff, 10-a-10. He knows the secret.

Just be like, no. Just say no. Just say no. I'm the sheriff. I'm the sheriff. Jesus, he's good. I don't know. I think we're pretty fucked here.

You're on a rush, Sheriff. No, you're under arrest. Shit, we're screwed. That's good. You're free to go. Stop resisting. You stop resisting. All right, you're free to go. You're under arrest. I think this guys me. I did eat cow poo earlier. You're the sheriff. You're the sheriff. From inside? Ween's side.

Ween a minute. Ween. There's no ween. Ween a minute. You're under. You're under. It probably shouldn't be arresting people at all. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. Pfft. When McLean's and Jeff got out two days later, they went on a drinking binge, which made Ellen really angry because he was a shitty drunk. So they argued and Ellen hops on her carriage and goes to Crested Butte. Fuck yeah.

Hoping her leaving would bring Jeff to his senses and he'd stop drinking, but that is not what happened. I get that. That night, Jeff held up a bottle of morphine and said to McLeese, quote, here's the thing that will end all my troubles. Oh my god. There's not a better thing to say with a bottle of morphine. Hears to think that I'm not in trouble.

But he, I don't know if you're right on that. I really... McLean said, just go get some rest and when you sober up, you'll feel better. Jeff then took all the morphine and came back and said, quote, well, I've done it. He's not good. Time for some less fame.

He was unconscious 30 minutes later. Now Ellen, that's all the funeral. Now Ellen gets a telegram. And the telegram was supposed to say that Jeff had taken poison, but it said, because of the this interpretation It said Jeff had taken horses That's a big typo name

That's a real big typo Now it's very important that you get this right. He's taken poison. Got it. He's taken horses. It's on the way. What did you say? Horses. Wait, what? Poison.

He's taken poison. Exactly. Don't worry. Well, let him know. This is serious. What is he taking? He poisons a horse. No.

We're still? No. He's poisoned. You need to let her know that he's been poisoned. Got it. I just keep thinking about horses. Is that crazy? I just have them on my mind.

My dad said I could buy a horse. So I'm pretty excited about it. But anyway, maybe I'll name it poison. Just shut the fuck up and send a telegram that says he's poisoned himself. Got it. That says he's poisoned himself. God. What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? Sam, man. God locked with the horse.

So because of that telegram, she gets it. She's like, what a dickhead. No, she thinks he's coming. Oh, because he's, he took the horses. She thinks he's added up. she thinks he's coming. Oh, because he took the horses. She thinks he's added up. Hey, God, he's coming. He's on a journey. In many ways, he is.

That's not what was happening. They tried first aid. They used a battery to shock his chest, but nothing. Well, we've done everything. We kicked him. We put candles around him. And we shocked him on the battery. But he's deep in the morphine hug

He died Gotta get those jokes in early games. You see that's Dollop 101 The charges against Ellen for hiding a fugitive or child Yeah, right. Yeah a month, Ellen rented out Jack's cabin and left to prospect for gold. The youths had been driven off their land by the government.

What? Man. Our government? Really. So weird. One of those things that just, whatever, right? Yeah. Yeah.

It's not like, yeah, whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. R's. Yes. Yeah. Cars now. It's not like yeah, whatever yeah, yeah, yeah, ours. Yes, cars now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, I'm ready to move forward because I don't want to think about it, right? Not at all. Wow, because when you really think about it,

I don't. Holy fuck. Yeah, it's like holy shit. Out of the fuck. Yeah, but we're in shit! I have a fuck! Yeah, but we're in the middle of the sun, important. Yes, but after the show, we make it right. With cake.

Yes. Bingo. We're even now. Here's a cheesecake. Here you go. We feel bad, huh? Better? Yes.

Oopsy boopsy. Whoa. So prospectors are now scouring the area. And while I almost there, she met a guy named Redmond Walsh. He named again? Redmond Walsh. Sounds like Brendan Walsh, but okay.

He had been sent by investors to look for gold claims. Ellen called him Walsh. He was 54 and Canadian. Walsh was an ex-union soldier and a railroad man. He was now a partner in a railroad construction firm and president of the branch of the Irish National League in Gunnison. They support 10 people so they'd like to attack landlords. Oh, okay. Yeah,

bring it back. That's why everyone needs a Dave. I didn't have to read all that to be like, fuck yeah. Let's go. No rent is the best thing that you can have. Yeah. So, I'm lost. Okay. Are you Mitch McConnell? I know. Yeah. I tell you Mitch McConnell. I completely...

That was... Oh my God. I was like, am I a human turtle? Dave, do you want to keep over the story? Do you want to go back for a minute? Do you want to do it? I need to go in back and wash off my bottom because things happen. I mean, much better if he said something like that.

I need a break to wash my bottom. I talked to the president earlier, and I told him that I had made a pamphlet. I'm made an old Kentucky boom boom. A drive. I'm older than most burpons that people consider valuable. LAUGHTER Me and Diane are getting it all.

A Diane plan's on and I'm gonna fornicate it, a thing of the Exxon oil later to show. Exactly where everything's headed. Hey there people listening to the dollop. This is Garret. Yes, this is the same guy. I listen, I have a new podcast called We're Here to Help that I'm doing with my friend Jake Johnson.

It's basically a call-in advice show where we don't say that we're professionals because we aren't, but we try to help people with problems that are important to them. You can listen to it wherever you listen to podcasts, and it is out right now. So go listen to, we're here to help with Jake and Garrett. We're here to help with Garrett and Jake. I don't remember how we did it, but either way, fun, half hour comes out Tuesday, August 22nd, and episodes will be out every Tuesday and Friday. We're here to help. Here to help.

So Ellen Mary's Walsh in July 1882. And soon after, he talks her into loaning money to his railroad company so he could make payroll. Mm-hmm. Rudez, there's more than just him. So she doesn't get the money back and she ends up suing the company in January 1883 for $1,100. She won, but she got hit with legal fees and doesn't get paid. So essentially the lawyers just take all the money.

Right, that's awesome. So lawyers have been great for a long time. A banker warned Ellen. He said, Wall should dupe her. That's how bad things are. I can finally trust the banker. Of my friend, the trusty banker. He said Walsh had duped her and wasn't what he claimed to be,

and he would kill her if he needed to. Jesus. I just wanted to take out $20. Why did these travelers not tell me any of this shit? All they said was that my... It's gonna die young and I've looked for treasure. They left a lot out. They did say she'd be a widow, young. Yes, I understand, but now this guy's gonna kill me.

I figure like, they nailed it. And they left a lot out. The fire? With the peacock bear? That's the, that's the, that's, we had nothing but time.

Technically, that's Sorrow's. What? She's gonna have Sorrow's and... Very vague. Well, it's under the legal definition. I mean, they did mention that I'd be next to a psychogym, I guess, but that was just in passing. So... So...

She soon after that learns that Walsh was already married. Man. So she hid in a room in Jack's cabin, which is a fucking tent. So she hid in a room in Jack's cabin when Walsh was talking to another man and she heard him say, quote, I will put her where she will not do any harm. Oh, Delaware. Oh my God.

I've always wanted to go to Delaware. Ellen talked to Walsh's other wife and then she confronted him. She said his face turned into quote, an incarnated demon and such a hellish fetish look I never saw on a human face before. Jesus. That's a sex face, right? Jesus.

Dave. That's how I do it. What? Get off of me. Get off of me. Jesus Christ so much drool. Oh baby, I'm going to gargoyle. The next day he tried to force her to sign a contract giving him half of her property. She took it and threw it into the fire so he grabbed her and pushed her face close to the flames burning her. Christ!

Love! Jesus. Ellen now, so she buys into a mine called the black queen mine and she owns it with two other guys and the mine was starting to do well. The Rocky Mountain News called it quote a mineral wonder. So they tried to sell for 125,000 but it falls through so they'd lease it to a group who are they going to work it and then give them a cut. So a ton of miners are coming in the area. And another guy comes and he sets up a mine nearby. And now, when anyone offers to buy the mine, he would dispute it and say that he own part of the vein. Walls does.

No, this is just random. OK. But anytime someone comes, he's like, no, I own part of the vein under this. You can't buy that mine. Right. Drill real cool dude. Yeah, so Ellen goes to Aspen. So she went there hoping to lose Walsh, but he finds her.

And she files her divorce accusing him of extreme cruelty. And then he sues her for her interest in the black queen mine because they were married. He was already married though. What, you're such a stickler for little things. Why does that keep happening? I would say 30% of the stories on this tour, there's some dude who was like married and married again. And then someone's like, hey, listen, you can't do that.

But the laws on your side. Yeah, basically. Yeah. It's just like, how dare my wife do that? You're already married. I'm aware Ellen said wash was always drunk, but what a fire you what Drunk she always drunk what you just want to always drink a bunch

What admitted lady? Is there any one of a okay? I get it. She's gonna do an impression awesome. I'll bust it back Go for it lady. Let's have it all get you two cents five minutes foot. Yeah, exactly look Here's what I know and I'm just gonna speak from the heart straight up you cannot you There's certain you cannot marry you can't marry someone like that, period. And that, because I have a wife, because yeah, I have a wife, but she's just, she is, this is a kind of of a logical person, and a logical person you can't try to, based on the merits of the mind, the black, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, buddy, hey, hey, what? You had your eyes closed, that person walked away a long time ago.

I know. I wished it. Man. What if you cut some jeans real high up? And you called them jorts. That'd be an idea. You see that? I guess.

Whatever. Pfft. P, whatever. Pfft. Pfft. A Mr. Man! So, she said he was always drunk, but that's not reason for a divorce. The Iowa Supreme Court had ruled... That's the best! Well, man, we have seen you claim, but a man being intoxicated

your entire relationship is not reasonable. Well, they said, have you tried loving him more? Give him the grasp of the bottle tries to... Ha! The court ruled women who knew a man was a drunk before they married couldn't use it as an excuse.

Yeah, see, you stupid lady. You married a piece of shit. No one is a piece of shit. That's not the piece of shit fault. That's our new lady. America, we got it right over and over again. Now, it December 8th, 1984, Ellen leads the building from Sarah Adair and opened a saloon and boarding house. She was making about $400 a month. Just months later, Adair sued to get the building back, saying illegal things were going

on. They're all wearing hats. Ellen lost, but then she filed an appeal, and Adair sent a notice to vacate, but Ellen refused. She was focused on the divorce. It was a six-man jury, and the court was packed with, quote, hungry curiosity seekers. But the court kicked everybody out.

No, Ellen! No, no, no, no. On the way to Stan Ellin said, he beat her, But the court kicked everybody out. L.A. Mesh. On the way to stand, Ellen said he beat her. He kicked her and he called her a whore at a bitch and threatened to kill her. And he was always drunk. Walsh denied it all and said he wanted it dismissed. You're on her.

I don't remember doing any of that. You're on her, man. I just say, come on. Of Lord. Her issue is with me wasted, and that person's not here today, is he? He said she cheated on him, but the jury found for Ellen. Sir, you were already married, sir. She cheated on me.

You were married. I know. It's disgusting. She's cheating on two people if you think about it. Disgusting. And this day and age, a woman treating a good guy like me like that. The trial horrified the Aspen Daily Times.

Quote, it brought out more repulsive and disgusting details than any other case. Both parties are advanced in years, which facts tend to increase the repulsive character of the whole proceedings. Oh! Where I'd listen, I'd listen to old people talk about fucking! No, I know this happened a while ago,

but they're pretty gross now, and hearing them bang was horrible. I don't like to picture that. Thank you very much. It does not why I became a reporter. It's like pushing two raisins together, and I don't like the sound of that. She was 42, he was 57. Our old, old grossies. She's... Uh, old, old grotesies.

Just... The papers said the courtroom... It's too... The papers said the courtroom should be fumigated. LAUGHTER Then we had sex, your Honor. Broll! Oh my God!

Jesus Christ! Some of us plan on fucking again! Oh! Oh! Did the thing even work at that age? This reporter will never have another boner! Next, Ellen took a dare, took on a dare in court. And a dare said Ellen was keeping a loot house for the practice of fornication and prostitution.

Disgusting! How old are they? Ellen denied it, but said if it was happening, a dare knew and consented. Okay. It's a very interesting caveat. Yeah. Bo-shit, but if it is happening, he knows. Yeah. Ellen bought the properties for 1600 to end the whole thing.

Okay. So the town council then passed a resolution outlawing prostitution north of the alley that separated Ellen's lot from a saloon. North of the alley that separated Ellen's lot from a saloon. North of the alley. Yes. There. There's no more of it there. Okay? I think we've all come to a lovely resolution.

So what else? This looks like a man brothel right there. Yeah, it does. How am I? Mind if I keep the hat on? What brings you to town? Oh my goodness I do love a little Hitler moustache. Well well well. That will really tickle my ass. Well let me walk you through the priceless to get the shitler it's's gonna be up to 50. Oh, God! So, Walls is back and he's sues for interest in the Black Queen and Ellen quickly sold her

interest to a guy named E.J. Stewart. So Walsh had no case, the contract he had was forged and he lost. And then E.J. Stewart sold back the share after the trial for the same amount. So people wondered if EJ was real. I've often wondered if EJ is real. So here's how court cases worked. Ellen had to defend herself by hiring lawyers and the lawyers charged insane fees that she couldn't pay. Then they sued to take her interest in mines. Wow. pay, then they sued to take her interest in mines. Wow. So lawyers are like, great, I'd love to represent you.

I mean, it's super common, especially to women, and it's how lawyers took over mines all over the West. Right. So cool. It's just such a great system with that. Great. It's great. Yeah, it's good.

So why fix that? Yeah, no, for sure. I have anything spread it. Thank you, more senators. It's awesome. I mean, she's a captain. She can afford to not have a mine, no, for sure. I have anything spread it. Thank you. More signatures. It's awesome. I mean, she's a captain. She can afford to not have a mind. Yeah, for sure.

So now her lawyers sued to get her interest in the black queen mine. So she sold her interest to William Elliott, her out of state brother. Now, William, have we heard of him before? No, we haven't. Bill Yehli, you say. Interesting.

Oh, very, well, Ben-o-o-o. So, she loses the suit and the judge orders the sale of the mine for the debt. Now she also owed money to other lawyers for other cases. And the black queen mine just happened to be one of the most prosperous in the state. Also, that guy who opened the mine near the black queen mine was trying to get control of it. Okay. He sued also. Jesus. And he paid off US mine surveyors and he started

a newspaper to report on his side of the ordeal and then he sent those stories around the country and stayed to other papers. Yeah. What did you read this article that I'm is in my paper? It's in the paper? Unbelievable. The me times! Wow! Look at this! What an editorial, scathing articles, scathing. Mining historian Otis Young Jr. called this type of stuff a quote legalized form of had used William Elliott who now sued everyone in return. So now William Elliott is suing everyone. I want to get my eyes on this guy. He's quite litigious and invisible. So Walsh now reports Ellen for pension fraud, which could lead to jail time.

Each time she drew her widow pension, she signed an affidavit stating she was not married. And Walsh wrote to the US attorney and said she was quote, a hard case of a woman doing lots of harm and encouraging all crime all bleep. A hard case of a woman doing lots of harm and encouraging crime of all kinds. Right. So an investigator has sent out. Okay. case of a woman doing lots of harm and encouraging crime of all kinds. Right. So an investigator has sent out. Okay.

And depositions are taken and she had clearly married. In January 1887, she went on trial in Denver. I don't understand how this even go- whoa, what the fuck? It was so common to try to fuck widows out of their civil war pensions that there were all these attorneys who just dealt with pension, helping women not lose their pensions. Right. So it's just so common.

But again, Walsh was previously married. It feels like that would just nullify everything. Well, a man. Well, a man. lot of everything. Well, he's a man. Sort of like, yeah, right? That's right. You're right. But apologies. Thank you. Sorry about that. You're the expert. Thank you. Now, Ellen said she wasn't legally married to Walsh because he was already married when they got married. Dave.

I like her. She was found not guilty. Oh good, okay, at least. So it worked. But jury member quote, she crawled out of the smallest hole I had ever seen and one that no man would have gotten through. Hey buddy, real quick follow up. What the fuck did you just say?

She did. She was a little caterpillar, just not a branch. She could cune herself and she was able to fly. She was on a flower the other day. What the fuck are you talking about? Bad her! That was, yeah! Unbelievable what she did. She's an earthworm. She sweats through her skin.

You were on the jury? She's genderless. But, yeah. She's genderless. But yeah. She's a nat. Don't scoot away from me. I don't. I'm scared of you. You're closer to you. She's a ladybug. No. Yes.

You know, every time a fly lands, it throws up. What? It's true. Bet that's going to ruin your Coca-Cola. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Oh. I only have two shirts total. Isn't that crazy?

Yes. And I'm wearing them both right now. In that wild. Yeah. And they're the same shirts. In that nuts. Why are you talking to me? I don't know.

My family passed away. A bunch of little mosquitoes they were. Well, it's good when you can hear a chair. You know things are good. So the pension commissioner orders her arrested again. Jesus Christ. Widow pensions were made to get men to enlist but had the unwanted effect of creating independent women. Good, right. I'm sure. The rich hated Civil War pensions from the beginning. So that's a cartoon. That's a cartoon of a Civil War veteran just shoving money into his mouth and it says the insatiable glutton's. And it's for guys who fucking died.

The rich are insane. Holy shit. I mean. Wow. Like it makes our rich be like, at least they're rational. He's been a reasonable affluent class. So Ellen was dropped from the pension roles. Walsh never bothered her again.

He moved to Chicago, and he got involved in the construction of Chicago, and became known as the father of East Chicago. Just a total piece of shit. Who just wins. He wins. I football team will be shit. Forever. One random season, but the rest of the time,

they'll fucking suck. Every year, their fans will think they've got a perennial quarterback. Okay, okay. But they won't. And then they'll find... Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I'm weird about cake. Huh? What? I'm this guy. What is that? No, you're not. Yeah.

You're garrif doing a voice. No, you weird cake, perv. Ha, ha, ha. This man fucks cake. Ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha. So next, Ellen gets into business with D.D. Fowler. And he signed a one-year lease then

wanted to buy the black queen mine. Okay. He's a lease for years. So he's going to work it, make some money, and then buy it. But Ellen starts to think that he's cheating. He's not giving her the full cut. Okay. So she goes to the mine one day and a surprise visit.

As she does a burrow train is taking silver down and she pulls out a gun and tells the men to unload it and to get out quote, Give me all my money. Or I'll give you the pure article from the gun. Miss what? The pure article from the gun. Like a paper? Part.

The. What's your threat, Miss? I just don't know what we're dealing with here. I want to shoot you, but I wanted to use good... Like a fancy language. Okay, so the threat is what again? A headline? No, I'm saying this stuff in the gun will hurt you.

Miss, you're gonna shoot us? Yes. Okay, just do you want to go from're gonna shoot us. Yes. Okay. Just, do you want to go from the top? The pure article. No. Stop doing that. Right in your pocket.

Right in your pocket. Right in your pocket. Huh? The pure article, right in your heart. I really like it. You know what I mean? Like, I thought it the whole way up the mountain. That was like, I got it.

Miss, miss, miss. I gotta have a really good, good, good. Miss, miss, I gotta have a good day. I gotta have a really good day. It's a long walk and you got a little off track. Just come back and say, I'm gonna shoot you unless you give me the silver. That's just so drow away. It's to the point, we'll listen, trust me. We'll see you, baby.

You're gonna get the pure article. Oh god. I'm not gonna give you the silver, I'm not even worried anymore. I think that just guns just got letters in it to be quite honest with you. Why are we not looking at each other? Because I love you. So you know, this becomes national news.

And D.D. Fowler said it wasn't just Ellen, but a quote mob force headed by a red-headed woman, one of the owners, the crowd had a perclivity for jumping mines and shooting. So they made up a story, it was like a whole bunch of people that stopped them. Right. When it was just her. Right.

Ellen was called the Amazon. He had her- She hated workers. They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to-

They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- They're going to- He had her arrested for threatening his life, But Ellen proved that her father had violated the lease,

and was stealing, and the judge ruled for Ellen. Nice. But again, Nashio's lawyer is more money. Right, because that's how it works. She also fought to get her pension back. And the guttison county court declared her marriage no-unvoid, because he was married. Oh, come on.

And she got it back. It's hard to describe how many times she was sued by men who were trying to get the mine. Eventually, they narrowed in on the alleged brother, she sold the mind to. Billi-Oliot. Billi-Oliot, the dancer. And lawyers found a relative in Brooklyn

who would testify that William Elliott did not exist. So they ordered William Elliott to appear in person. That's going to be an issue. Lawyers were now calling him the mythical Elliott. The mythical Elliott did not show up, weird. And the judge ruled against Ellen. She now had to sell, or it would be auctioned. So her partner sold.

Some of the men who bought it ended up incredibly wealthy. And she had to pay the same lawyers who had just screwed her over with that money. Right. Cool. So she moved to Ure. Ure. Ure.

Ure. And she bought claims, and she bought a big two-story house with furniture. But a little while later, the owners sued her over the price of the piano. What? Just, what do you mean? There's a woman! Why do I sue her? Yeah, what does that even mean?

I don't know. It ain't the pianos too much. I'll see you in court. What? I can't. No. I want the white keys. All right.

But Ellen was not so bored that she packed up and made for the latest rush, which was in Arizona. But she quickly found out she hated desert living. One night she woke up and there was a rattlesnake under her. Another night her tech was covered in lizards. Jesus Christ. I mean, they're both not great. Yeah, the rattlesnakes are problem.

Yep. Yep. All right. Glad you came around on that one. So after a few months, she heads back to Gunnison. The guy, so she'd paid a guy to collect the money from the sale of the Black Queen mine and others, and he kept about half.

That's not what she wanted, bro. No, right. We did it. Awesome, here's your cut. So she sews him, but he's a very well-connected lawyer. Oh, fuck's sake. She's as Christ. So she goes back to prospecting.

She has two claims now, the Scorpion and Sunday morning. Scorpio is a relogical sign. OK. Awesome. So Samples show the mine has gold, and Charles Bennett and his friends then set up 300 feet away and said they're not going anywhere. So Sam thing is before, right?

So she pulled out her 44 and said, leave or you'll be carried off. Get out of here. I'm going to show you what a biography is all about. Take off, guy. I'm going to do some independent reading. Move it or lose it. Oh, we're going to do a slam. With slam?

Yeah, poetry style. Oh, God. Let me ask you this. If you ever heard a limb rick, go click, click. Oh, that's right. Well, it's about to happen Jack Now dance before I turn you both into cookbooks What you understood me no may as well open a library in here with all the publishing. I'm about to do What nothing well do you speak English? No, that's a explaining a ton of this miscommunication. So she's arrested in the story hits papers nationwide. The Queen Bee paper, quote,

cat and jack is a terror to jumpers. In order to save bloodshed, they will keep her shut up. If there is another striking war where it is necessary to proclaim martial law, it would be a good plan to enlist Captain Jack and let her have command of a company at least. Okay. Nice. The judge ruled Bennett didn't have enough evidence to press charges. And Ellen kept buying mines. The bright, the Juniper 2, the Juniper 3. They all have names like that? That's just, it sounds like horses and like racing. Yeah, it's crazy.

The hillside gem 2. The hillside gem 2. She went to Denver because she... The gem pad. The jam pad. LAUGHTER CHEERING She goes to Denver because she's sick and then she, the loss that she filed against the

collector guy, right? So she pursues that. And he says he doesn't owe her anything and she was never as client. Wow. I've never seen this woman before in my life. I would remember a woman who looks like a sultan. I mean, look, she's dressed like Jafar. I'd remember her for God's sake.

He said William Elliott was his client, and then he wondered... That is the craze she was like, Wait, what? But I did represent thank you, Bile Elliott. And then he wondered a loud and court if Elliott was real. I actually worked with Billy Elliott who I wonder was he even real. That was probably a dumb follow-up thing

to say. Yeah. Well I represented him if he's exists. We worked closely together assuming he's not invisible. He's my best friend, he's the best friend of a bed. I'd love to meet him. So Ellen goes back to Gunnison and her neighbor becomes her friend friend Dora Bible. Bebobble, sorry Bebobble. Can I start calling the Bible Bebobble? Yeah. Thank you. But then, then came the chickens.

Dora built a chicken coop on Ellen's property. Oh no, you didn't. It's called a chicken coup. Same thing they fucking do with the mines. Yeah. Ellen said the chickens were destroying her garden, and the pile of manure was a nuisance. The pile of white dough manure.

I don't know why they're... Chicken manure? Well, chicken shake, yeah. But, yeah, yeah. Minuer? Sure. You know, man, they actually grow some sick mushrooms and chicken.

Oh, God, it does, don't you? Yeah, no. Little nuggets. I'm good. In June, Ellen threw rocks at Dora. Nice. Dora then hit Ellen with a hoe leaving a six inch cut on her head.

Jesus Christ. It's a poisoned hoe! A judge dismissed the charges against Dora because Ellen had thrown the rocks and then Ellen sued for $100 but lost. And the lawyer was like, that'll be 50 grand. So Ellen Hadel headed to prospect in cripple creek. It's a great name. Yeah. She opened a boarding house. She finally won the case against the collector and got $13,600.

But nobody knows if she saw any of it. Like, it doesn't mean he paid, right? Ellen was now pretty famous, and she started calling herself the mining queen of the Rockies. Ellen and a mining partner, Anna Lustik, bought the experimental mine. And Ellen also bought the Mars 12 and three mines. Jesus Christ.

She thought she was the daughter of Mars, another astrological thing. It's amazing that that's not really making the story too much. Oh because she thought she was the daughter of Mars. Anyway, she was quite litigious. Ellen was still in debt mostly from all the lawsuits. So she borrowed from her partner Anna, partner Anna, and another business partner she had Josephine Smith. She also applied for patents on the mind. So that means that they would become private land. Right. Okay. So she said I'm not talking to Anna and deciding over half of her half of the interest, saying it would be easier to get the patent. If she controlled it and

then once she got the patent, she'd give the interest back. Sure, that's, of course. And on top of that, she brought $2 a dollar from Anna. A few months later, she borrowed another $368 to pay men who were working her claims. And then the two women got into a disagreement, and Ellen said she didn't owe Anna any money. Boy, she's been all over the map. She's getting screwed, she's screwing. Well now it seems like she learned.

Yeah, she's like, this is how you do it. Yeah, that's what you do. Your beef's with Billy Elliot, he lives on Mars. That's what my dad is. So Anna sued in $1,616. Ellen had also borrowed money from Anna's brother and he won $400. Ellen also couldn't pay back Smith. So she had used Mars I as collateral, so Smith forced it to be auctioned and then she bought it. Okay.

So Smith also writes to the Commissioner of Pensions and DC quote, can a woman, a widow who marries again after her husband's death job? Pension and the commissioner should I write back him and be like, no, we already went through this. Yeah. So yeah, don't worry about it. Oh, OK. So Ellen is now making money because she's famous. Right.

She built a roadside cottage and served meals and drinks on the patio and she would just sit there talking about herself, calling herself the mining queen of the Rockies, to business. And the mining queen of the Rockies, you know. She sold postcards over herself? That's me, with a bunch of out of focus shit. How great is that, huh? Look at that. And there I am with some donkeys and they're carrying a bunch of bullshit.

And then there's one where it was too sunny to take a picture, but we did anyway. I've inside that cabin, maybe. It's like an Airbnb. Maybe. People would travel long distances to meet her. But in 1907, she was charged with selling liquor without a license. Saloons were banned and nearby Colorado Springs, but the jury couldn't reach her verdict,

and they kept pushing a new trial, and so she just kept selling booze. That's awesome. That's awesome. God damn it, we've got to go to trial. Ma'am. She was charged nine times in 1908, including selling on a Sunday.

Ma'am. Wow. That's the day the Lord have big G to not intoxicate. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Then the sheriff seized her beer, three barrels.

And the sheriff then used the judgment against her by Anna to put a levy on her property, including her mines. A few weeks later, the district attorney said there would be no further prosecution of Ellen. Nice. She continued operating her roadhouse, and in 1919, she published an autobiography. And hired Patrick Swazie. The fate of a fairy?

The fate of a fairy. I guess she's the fairy. Sure is. What a crazy book! A tons of exaggeration in the book. While she made okay money from Taurus, she wanted to keep developing her minds, and she tried to get back the Mars one by suing Josephine Smith, and she charged Smith with trespassing.

And then Smith charged Ellen with claim jumping and threatened to kill her workers. Okay, we're negotiating which I like. The jury found for Smith. So then Ellen went after Mars 2 and 3 on Byanna. At this point Ellen's daughter Adeline, who was rich and living in New York, wanted Ellen to come live with her. That's a crazy thing to want. Right? Yeah.

After all that. I'm thinking of getting a rabbit monkey. What do you think, honey? Well, she had grad kids. She wanted to grab on to me around. Sure. For now, till grandma's like, I'm showing little Gus here. Well, you'll understand this.

Ellen said no because she didn't want to leave her two cats. Yes. Yes, two cats. Yes Yes, mine Queen. Yes, mine Queen. Yes, mine Queen. Yes, mine Queen Fuck yes, so that bit she never saw her grandchildren. Oh You got cats bro, you're fine Jesus Christ they got trees. It's fine. They got catnip, it's awesome. You got an electronic feeder. You don't need shit, buddy.

Drink a little wine, watch a little shark tick, get a little purr. You'll be good. Yeah. One day, a bunch of people are at Ellen's Roadhouse, including Smith. Smith said, quote, she never was Captain Jack's wife. She is posing as Captain Jack's widow.

She was nothing but his prostitute, nothing but his harlot. So these, excuse me. These accusations made it into the courtroom when it was time for Anna's trial. And both Smith and Anna were questioned for trying to take everything that Ellen owned while in court. And they just said they wanted what was owed to them,

but yet, yes, they completely hated her. Outside the courtroom, when Ellen walked by, Smith said, quote, here comes the old whore now. Can I just walk through the courtroom you ask? Look out for old whore, here she comes. Make way! Or coming through, look out. She cused Ellen in earshot of the jurors Make way! Or coming through, look out!

She accused Ellen in earshot of the jurors of being a thief who got men drunk and stole from them. The jury found for Anna. All three women were poor, but had lawyers to... They're all paying lawyers to fight in court because they hate each other so much, but it's making them poor. Yeah, the lawyers are like, really good. I think we're going to win this case. They fought for years constantly in court, sowing each other back and forth. Eventually Anna One and got all of Ellen's Roadhouse property. She also got the last dollar load mine in dollar, load, mine, and 19, 1917. She refused to leave her cabin, even though Anna wanted. She's not leaving it.

I like that move. She keeps entertaining Taurus. In January 1917, she was hospitalized for pneumonia. While there, her cats were either taken or got lost. Damn it. Now the story sucks. It's cool, everything she loves dies. She says, Dave? Well, what did the Roma say? Zarros. Very vague. Now it's not, isn't it? People around you will die. All of them. Yeah, well, you live old enough.

I mean, you know, that's going to happen. Only way her daughter could live was by being cast off to a witch. Billy Elliott lived. Forever. He's not real. Yes, he is. I saw the movie.

So she sued Anna in November. I'm suing pneumonia. In November 1917 for $10,000 for spreading rumors. And the jury found for Ellen but only gave her a dollar. Nice. That's awesome. Good for them. She filed for bankruptcy in 1918, and she was freed of her debts, but also had no assets. She's living in poverty.

Her pension was $25 in 1917. Her health deteriorated, yet she still lived in the roadhouse. Then in 1920, she moved all of her buildings into the Cobra III mine claim, which she still held. Anna then tried to take that claim by doing surveys and filing for a patent, but Ellen won and got it. A final victory, she died on June 17, 1921, of a heart attack.

Jesus, how old was she? I don't know. OK. 1921, she was born in 1842. So yeah, 80ish. The human calculator. That can be an answer. Wow.

Sources, the press reader, UK, and Jane Bardol's Colorado's Miss Captain Elliott Jack Mining Queen of the Rockies. Man, that's crazy. Why? Wow. Yeah. What a horror. Day.

I'm going off of what the people said. What people said. You're not allowed to say things. It was proven it's hard. No, you did that earlier too. I'm going off of what the people said. You're not allowed to say what's provenant. No, you did that earlier too. No. You just become in this weird guy. I was like, I'm quoting.

Yeah, that's crazy. What a wild little mining life. Looks like mines make you selfish. Who to thank? That's the show everybody. Thank you guys so much for coming out. We appreciate it. Leave your cheesecake backstage for David. Thank you for coming out. Merch, appreciate it. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you.