The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 61 - The Past Times with Francesca Fiorentini

Episode Date: February 9, 2024

Dave Anthony picks a newspaper from a day in history and reads it to co-host Gareth Reynolds and this week, comedian and podcast host Francesca Fiorentini. @franifio  Rocket Money Redbubble Merch

And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's. I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. So the other thing is maybe you've stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable.

Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. Well, it could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Or maybe you wanna go somewhere warm over the winter and while you're away you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills

or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. So find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. find out how much at airbnb.ca. Alright everybody, welcome to the Pastimes Podcast. Each week we go through an old newspaper from a random date in history picked out by Dave Anthony. I'm Garrett Reynolds and I've never seen it before and neither is our guest this week Francesca Fiorentini. Hello Francesca. Thank you for joining us. Oh

I'm excited. Are you? Feels like Negative I mean despite the wolf I just That's how I'm I express express excitement is usually a wolf. Like as a dog that's like, I guess I'll lay here. I'm like, ugh, you wolf. Well speaking of sex, you're gonna be at the Sacramento punchline with the one and only Matt Leib. Now when is that happening?

Yeah, doing it live on stage. March 17th, which is a Sunday, it is a Sunday. Is that St. Patrick's Day? I is a Sunday. Itch is a Sunday. Is that St. Patrick's Day? I don't know. It might be. All right, well, wear green, motherfucker. It's come out.

You're going to need to yell at them. It'll be great. Wow. It's a great club. What are you guys going to be doing there, besides, obviously, the sex stuff you're alluding to? Live sex. Just stand up.

We're co-headlining. Oh, great. But I've got top billing, so I win. That's good. If you don't co-headline are things weird around the house? Yeah, what is that like? No, not at all. Well, I guess we've revealed you two are a couple with a child.

Well, the spoiler. Okay, well, good for you, and that's exciting. Where can people go to get tickets? Do you have websites or what do you got there? Just go to the SAC punchline website. I think SAC punchline or... Actually, it's a great club to fornicate in because you've never seen a club surrounded by more mattress stores. That's so true. It is a shocking, it is like mattress junction.

Mm-hmm. It's a nice little strip mall surprise, I would say. But then even outside of the mall area, there's like seriously four mattress stores. It's really weird. And a blaze pizza, which is the best pizza, don't add me. And a Jimmy Johns, he likes to hunt animals in enclosure. Let's just go all the way.

There's Del Taco across the street. I love the residence in. We've stayed there before they get food kitchens. Me and Sue Murphy and Doug Benson tried to go through the drive-thru at about 1 a.m. in a shopping cart and they did not allow that. Wow, it wasn't their first rodeo.

Yeah, it's weird for me to be on their side, but I am. Yeah, oh, sure. So, Francesca, we're gonna guess what year this paper is from. You've seen the game. I'm sure you have the take home version. We don't know. I'll let you guess.

I'll start us off with a guess, and I'm gonna guess that it's 1942. Oh, I was gonna go, see now it's gonna look like I'm... You can do it still. No, no, no. All right. That's why I normally ask people to email their guesses before the show so it doesn't seem like there's goots.

Okay, I'll go 1908. Nice, I like that a lot. Oh, so close, 1913. Woo hoo hoo. Real good stuff. As usual, Garrett, this is way off. It is May 16th, 1913. And the place?

Just before we start, sorry, just to get my bearings, 1913, is this before? We have started just to be fair. So this is interrupting the story. Now that I know the year, I just want to know, is this before or after the invention of the diva cup? Oh boy. As a man, I believe those were just invented.

I only heard about those about two months ago. You're telling me those have been around for a while? No, I think they were made of like lamb skin. I'm sure there was sort of like a, Oh, you are making me a hangry for Haggis. A fact-ed situation. I like to think that the DivaCups. I've fetched the DivaCup.

Have you? Oh, thanks. Oh, yeah, I'm fetching a bunch. So the Monetsi. Anyway, okay, we'll, I do a lot of DivaCups on Etsi. Maybe that will come to light during the paper. I doubt it, but it's a good thing for us to keep our eyes on.

You know what I mean? I mean, it's always. By the way, diva cup is what I drink wine from backstage, just so everyone knows. Good. Yeah. What? I drink blood.

Well, I believe we have started, so we should probably keep going. OK, and I'm wearing one. OK, let's keep going. And action. The Hawaiian Gazette, Honolulu, Hawaii. Oh wow. Wow.

Ben Lindsay, famous juvenile judge is sick in hospital. Oh, we got like a doogie judge. Yeah. I'm gonna say judge where you guys comment before you guys comment He is not in Honolulu. This is a guy who's in Denver, but he's so famous as Juvenile judge that they know him all over the country. I'm fine with that Yeah, I think if you have a juvenile judge, it doesn't matter if you bro By the way, if you're Hawaii, you gotta do some mainland reporting. Like this happens in every paper week.

It's all mainland reporting. Meanwhile, I'm sure like police precincts are being burned to the ground by like native Hawaiians and like, you know, it's like, no, no, no, what about the child judge? You know, it's very true that right now the Navy is probably pouring gasoline in where they drink from.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you hear about the 16 year old judge? How does this kid rule? What a great, what a great, it feels like a double entendre, but go ahead. You wear blue, my favorite color blue, innocent. Like was that? The question is how juvenile,

because you are doing toddler. I don't know if it's toddler judge Oh, it might be like um Do you even know who nirvana is or I don't know yeah, right? Yeah, it's like that except in 1908 that was 1913 13 wait a minute there needs to be a show where there's a toddler judge I Don't understand. They're just like the bail bailiff's like, your honor, with all due respect. No, we go to bathroom together. Your honor, please. Uh-oh, just in the middle.

What happened, your honor? Dynamo! What are you talking about, your honor? The judge made a boom-boom. Oh my god. He's got the gavel in his mouth. It's banging if you're done, if not put it down. I like the taco sauce. Christ, this is horrendous. Oh my God, he's got the gavel in his mouth. It's banging if you're done, if not put it down. I like the taco sauce.

Christ, this is horrendous. Day 34 inside got a little strange again with toddler judge. So this is out of Denver. Reports received here today say the condition of Judge Ben Lindsay of the juvenile court who was operated on Monday in a sanitary at Battle Creek Michigan for stomach trouble is serious. It was said he would be confined to his bed for a month. What a blessing. You really let you I mean you wisely let us go to premise camp only to come back to reality. Yeah.

This man rules on the juveniles. He's locking children away. Yeah. And his stomach hurts from the toiling of ruining adolescence. But what could he possibly have been doing to be a famous juvenile judge? Yeah, that is weird. I feel like he was sending kids back into the mines, you know, and they were like,

Yeah. You know, or they got up. So they're miners. Yeah. Right. Miners. That's exactly right. Yeah, you might be one of the,

I mean, we have, there's kind of some famous juvenile judges now. They're just ones who are just kind of like, exploiting the free labor, basically. So if you show up in their court for like graffiti, they're like, you now work for Amazon. And you're like, what the fuck? Your honor, I'd rather go see toddler judge.

His rulings are confusing, but a little more on track. His gavel's made of Legos. It's just sweeter even though I'm going away for five years. He ain't half his gavel. He's in the hospital because he ain't half as gavel with stomach trouble. Okay, so yeah, who is this guy? Why is he so venerated?

I am fascinated. Francesca, here's the exciting thing about the newspapers from this time. They do no explaining whatsoever. They act like you have all of the previous knowledge that you need. There's no summary of what led up to it. They just throw something at you and they move on. Are we just gonna let Francesca get away with saying venerated like it's a fine thing

to say to guys like us, Dave, or are we gonna attack her as we should? A venerated judge, isn't that? She, look, here's what she does. She uses big words to try to make us seem dumb. D-Vo-C-U-P. Wow. Here's what she does. She used my brain to try to make us Diva cup. Wow. Okay.

So he's on the mend. Yeah. Well, maybe I speak for everyone. I say who cares? I mean, I speak for every like, um, rest in piss, like he's, he's gonna die and that's good. And, uh, yes, I I hope what kid poisoned him I hope

Wow, this got really intense what I like about you takes you're not fucking around Coming in real hot. Oh also. we should talk about your you have the Bituation Room. That's the other thing. Oh, I never thought you'd bring it. Yeah, I have a great show that we've both done that is called the Bituation Room. And people can go to your where your YouTube's YouTube. And listen to the audio as well.

Yeah, you can listen as a podcast, the Bituation Room or youtube.com slash Franny Fio, which no one's going to remember, but that's okay. Sorry, it doesn't matter. We're cutting this out anyway. All right, Dave, keep going. So it sounds like Judge Lindsey was, he was controversial, but he was, I believe, trying to help the system as opposed to, you know, be a punisher. Well, Francesca really shitting on that guy fast. I mean, I hope he dies.

Wow. She's sticking. You can't reform a broken system. Bam. Stop, stop, stop. Oh, no, you're just, you're finding ways to stick to your guns. You're no better than a Trump. Burn in hell.

He was a liaison of a broken system. He should have poisoned guts, okay? He believed in the treatment of a youth's problem over punishment. Look. Take him down! We're glad he's dead. He deserved to die.

Keep him in the grunt. Okay, thank you. So he believed in reeducation camps. I get it. Jesus, we're good at this believed in reeducation camps. I get it. Jesus, we're good at this. Wow, okay. We're good at this. Also known as school, but yes.

Yeah, right. Right? Yeah, just to turn you into a little worker. Where kids go to concentrate, we get it, Dave. Okay, thousands, thousand dupes of Japanese kahuna vow to use force in preventing his departure. Wow. A dupes of kahuna.

Yeah, Hamaguchi, the Japanese kahuna, will probably find it necessary to sneak aboard the steamer's Sonoma in a trunk if he wishes to start for Sertisco with a whole skin today. What's... Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa What's- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, I feel like I'm, I need to analyze these sentences. What is a kahuna? That's my main question. Big-

Let's start there. I mean, we're in Honolulu still, so it's a fish. So a kahuna is like a wise man, shaman type, expert type person. That's also a fish. I don't know. I don't know why you're calling him a fish. Dave, she has takes and she stays to him,

so I believe the kahuna to be a fish. Can you say big kahuna? Don't we mean fish? Or have we been meaning a wise sage? Sage is a smart person. Thank you. This whole time? Kahuna, I believe, is a Hawaiian word.

Yes, it has to be. Yes, it is. It's a Hawaiian word. Big wig. Big Kahuna, big wig. So historically, it's been used to refer to doctor, surgeons, dentists, as well as priest, ministers, and sorcerers.

I like the dentist got thrown in there. They must have been like, that's awesome. I can't believe we got tossed in there too. Doctors, surgeons, dentists. I'm a little bit of a kahuna. I gotta go see the kahuna. This one's her. You need a root canal.

Wow, you're really something. Going to the kahuna. Okay, so a crowd estimated by some to number 1000 exited Japanese excited sorry Excited Japanese surrounded several of the former haunts of the alleged Reincarnated Buddha yesterday. Okay. Oh, okay. So now we now the biggest Hoonas yeah, yeah, he he's saying it's a guy rolled in he's like I used to be Buddha which He's just trying to get free drinks

I was your sir your card was declined. I was Buddha does that So you need to be wearing shoes to get in here. I'm sorry. No, no, no, I don't wear anything and I'm supposed to be distended I'm The boo says he's the kahuna. I don't. I'm the kahuna Buddha, hi! The kahuna Buddha. Good to see ya. All right, still everybody pays here, so. Can you prove that you're the Buddha, kahuna,

in some way? Let's just throw a test my way, I'm real good at this sort of stuff. Can I take some of these pineapple garnishes while we try to get to the bottom of this? I'm the Buddha, what do you want? I feel like the real Buddha wouldn't do two things at once. Isn't it all about like being present

in the present moment? I don't know, I just, I'm like a server here. I'm very present, I can do both. I'm very present. Look at me. I got a present. You know what, I'm here. You seem anxious.

You seem anxious. Can I just get, is it, am I Thai? Is that possible? While we figure this out. In all of Buddha's writings, never did he say, I can do both. I can do both. I'm a great multitasker.

100%. I'm good with either. What are you guys, what? I like to multitask like the Buddha. Hey, are there any single ladies here? Oh, come on. What? Are you like Buddha before he became a lion?

Are you Siddhartha? Are you like the priest? Yeah, I'm the guy, yeah, I sat under the bow tree and then I, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, yeah. I'm here. Blah, blah, blah, women, drugs, alcohol, white-tie. I want some of these cherries. I want some of these cherries, okay?

God, you guys are real. I love you, obviously, because I'm chill. Either way, but I need rum and I need it now. I feel like this isn't the first time that someone claimed that they were the reincarnated Buddha. Oh, sure. I'm sure it happens all. I always think that with the Dalai Lama, too, when they're just like, he's the new ones over there.

You know what I mean? I just like go over there and be like, yeah, it's my kid. Like, can we get to that kind of palace? Yeah, but you get you have to identify all the stuff, you know, they it's like, oh, is the magical crew? It feels like that test gets a little fudge too, to be quite frank. For sure.

So they're seeking the return of money, which they claim they paid him in the hope of securing relief for real or fancy deals. So. Now, fancy deals is one way of putting it. They're like, oh, thank God you're back fancy dills real or fancy dills Fate, how are you spelling that word? Fancy to F A N C I E D fancied fancy dills, but the second the word after that

I'lls I L S ill. Oh, I thought you meant dills like pickles. I think you meant dills, too I was like, what the hell? Oh, this is great We're all gonna be pickling Hamakuchi they say assured them he would cause their amalities to vanish See harder money the Boota is my dad if you're giving the kahuna money. That's where you're like this might be bullshit Yeah, but this is what still goes on today, right? Oh, yeah.

I mean, there's no difference between this and all the, you know, Joel Osler and those guys. Austin, have some respect for our little creed. Austin, whatever. The guy who has money in his walls. Yeah, the guy whose plumber was like, I just found $400,000 in your toilet. He was like, man, the Lord works a mysterious way.

You want to butt soap together? So he's promising them that he's going, if he just needs money, he swears he's the reincarnate, but he won't do the miracle until they pay up. He took $2 per treatment. This guy, it's like. 1913.

You made it coming home, be like, I'm at the Buddha. He's just. Super13. You made it coming home, be like, so I'm at the Buddha. He's just. He's just. Super broke. I guess. Honey, don't get mad. But I did give him all of our savings.

But my knee's gonna stop clicking pretty soon. He now seeks to get out of the country with his sack and away from the wrath of the suffering and uncured dupes. Violence may be used. That's editorialized, obviously. He's not on record saying that. He's like, no, no, I got to roll.

Now, the newspaper is calling him out for being a piece of shit for sure. He's not like, you dupes gave me all your money. You're a tiny kahuna. I'm not even a big. The patients learned of Hamakuchi's plans yesterday and it was not long before they became excited and began planning to have him punished. Wow. Hundreds of Japanese and their friends yesterday promised to be at the steamer landing to prevent

the kahuna's departure by force if necessary. It is possible some say that a warrant will be issued charging him with gross cheat. Gross cheat. Gross cheat. I like that. I like this blockade we're forming. Yeah, to stop a boat. Yeah, this little flotilla of angry dupes.

Or I forget, I don't know who dupes or what dupes is in this situation. Dupes is the people who want to stop the boat. They're the ones who want to stop. They're the people, yeah, they're the ones who want to stop. Yeah. Well, I mean, hopefully they get them. Did they get them?

Well, let's see, toward the last, it appears the ledge faker told his patients that he could treat them without requiring their presence. A photograph previously... I love it. A photograph only being necessary. A photo! You could just throw me the money over your face.

Oh, man. No, I know what you look like. Yeah, you're in a wheel... You're... Child. You've got a sick child. Out of photo, that is great. See, I do eventually come around on the side of most cons. Like you're like, that's pretty fucking funny.

It's the audacity of it, you know, just like, I would never, I'm a terrible liar. I would just be like, I'm like, yeah, no, I could definitely. If you have cancer, fax me, I got this. Don't worry. Just text me your ailments, I'll figure it out. All of his victims were laborers on the plantation. So not that crazy.

Hamaguchi has expressed his surprise at not having been arrested. Wow. We're all shocked. You don't dupe laborers, you dupe rich people because they won't come after you. I mean, they will send people after you, I guess, but like laborers will be fucking mad.

Yeah, it is true. It's like, be the Robin Hood of Dupers. Don't go for the low, you know what I mean? That's... Low hanging dupe. Yeah, the low hanging dupes, exactly. Thank you. Thank you I'm a good. She's saying it is the first time in visiting new territory that his alleged healing has not been

Investigated by putting him in confinement. What's with this thing? But things may develop Don't know what that word is The Sonoma hoist it's mud hooks and up, god damn. Dave's rapping by the way. I wish I knew what that, I wish I, there's a word that I can't read, because it's blurred out, so that the rest of the sentence doesn't make sense.

No. But anyway, Hamaguchi may have a more strenuous time in store than he anticipated. Okay, so. Well, he also, I don't know why he's- He's fucking Honolulu. I don't know why he's self-leaking so much. He's like, I'm surprised how stupid everyone was. Gosh, I sure made a lot of money off these idiots. Yeah,

we're all right. Usually I get thrown away within eight hours of being in a new city. Yeah, they didn't mention he was masturbating while saying, Oh, man, these idiots. Oh, it's an island of rubes. Oh yeah. He, like if he had, had he tried this with Hawaiians, his end would have been worse because you don't fuck with Hawaiians in Hawaii. But you could get away with it with the Japanese members.

But especially now like on Kauai. You heard it here first, Dave thinks the Japanese are dupable. Thank you. Yep, yep. I select the clip. That's what he said. Canceling Dave over, cancel fee.

There was a, I don't know if anybody's seen the business or reached an HBO documentary about a cult woman who, cult leader woman who went to Kauai during the pandemic and the Kauai people were like, you're gonna leave. Like she just rolled in and she's like, well you have a piece in love. No, like you're here to get the fuck out. It's what you're here to do.

They're like surrounded her house and like just like she was gone in a couple of days. Like, now we've done this, you're fucking out of here. That's so rare and so satisfying. Yeah. Yeah. And also so 2020, like every anti-vax like wellness yoga bitch just decided to go to like Kauai or Costa Rica and set up some fucking you

know colony and yeah good on Kauaians to be like please you're bye. Meanwhile I was like in one of those huts drinking my own piss. How much money do I need to Venmo? Seriously. I'm trying to bang the guru. So Rocket Money is a personal finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions and monitors your spending and then helps lower your bills. Rocket Money has over 5 million users, has helped its members save an average of $720 a year. Where's that? Over 500 million in canceled subscriptions. Through RocketMoney, I found four subscriptions that I just had dangling out there.

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Rocketmoney.com slash tpt. And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's. I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb, so the other thing is maybe you've stayed in an Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable.

Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. Well, it could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Or maybe you wanna go somewhere warm over the winter and while you're away, you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. So find out how much at Airbnb.ca.

C.A. slash host. OK, here's another headline. Colonial meat in American invasion. Now we're talking. Get woke. Yes, you'll meet. This is out of San Francisco. Four thousand pounds of Australian beef and mutton have landed here in an effort on the part of the Australian exporters and local importers to lower meat prices. Boo!

Scab. Yeah. Scab. Scab. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good.

The importers believe that a big permanent meat trade with Australia is a certainty. Ugh, can you imagine the state of that boat meat? That's, that's all I was thinking. Boats. What's all I was thinking about. What's it take? A couple weeks, baby, on a ship from Australia? That's got to be, I mean, they must have it all salted. Rang acid, right?

Ozzy kangaroo cut. Yeah, how many days in 1913? Oh, it's just awful. Oh, it's really good. Oh, just what it gets. Oh, just that horrible. Yeah. Now, you that's mean and horrible. Yeah.

Now, Mike, you can cook the hell out of these and they'll actually be quality-able. I mean, I assume that they had ice on the ship, but... Yeah, but still. Still. Again, we know ice also not the forever cure. Ice has this way of turning into water. And there's no, there's no ziplocks at the time. There's no-

No. Yeah, it's not. It's bad. Boat meat. So yeah, so it wasn't even- so once- so you're saying people sort of- we lost any semblance of trying to protect our own, you know, goods once that it could just arrive by plane. And like, I love plane meat. Boat meat, terrible.

Plane meat, amazing. Australia doesn't, but neat. There was something, you didn't even, you didn't need a lighthouse. You just needed like a smell guard on the cape. It was like, it's coming. I smell it. It's coming.

Yeah, that, that captain was just like, crikey, I need a few days off. Yeah, he's absolute crap, mate. Yeah, no, don't ever read about the trains and meat and how that changed things because it's really gross and grim, but uh. Shouldn't they have just... What kind of meat? Like, doesn't it make sense to take the animal on the boat?

That's very... And then create it. Oh, well, listen to you. Very... I mean... Can you imagine the faces on everyone involved in this business with Francesca? They're like... Hi, um...

Yeah, I'm not sure. Well, on account of, um... So, like, I use a diva cup, and so let me just tell you that... I'm just gonna bring it back to my house. No! It would just... I know blood, um... Even if they just starved, like, seven days in,

or you killed, like, you had a butcher on the ship, it would be better than just bringing, like, fucking raw cuts. That makes no sense. I think the problem is the shitting of the animals and the feeding of the animals. But I'm saying in my pitch you're not feeding them. Right.

Okay, that's fair. They're just dying one by one of starvation. I mean, yeah, they're getting really seasick. Five days in when there's still some meat on the bone, you're killing them, but then they're a little fresher. It's God's ziploc, skin. God's ziploc. I don't ever want you to say that again, is that fair?

I'm gonna make merch, asshole. Ha! Trading stamps are denounced. Finally, the devil's work, the proper merchants. Oh, you're about right here. The Merchants Association begins investigating investigation tending to end so-called evil. Finally. Yeah.

The Green Eyed monster of commercialism invaded the meeting of the merchants association yesterday. If after legal advice is secured and found favorable, action may be taken to rid the community of the beast. And beast is in. And these again, just to be clear. Nerd with a big binder full of stamps. Yeah.

I got this one, it's got a really big bow. This man is the devil himself. Look at him. This one's a super rare collector. I would slip this man's throat before the devil incarnate takes over his body and comes to destroy us. I will mail this man to hell myself if I must, only using a mailing stamp, not these odd collection sorts." The association dealt again with the green stamp's nuisance, the question being brought up by H.W. McKirney. He said it might seem a

trifling thing to many people, and yet to him, it was a microbe which had crept into the community and was becoming not only a nuisance but a source of alarm. Christ. It's just, it is so great as usual to be like, yeah basically same shit, different problem, like while there was actual issues going on there were people who were just like, you know, sight and send and stamps. I was gonna say get a hobby, but then I realized stamp collecting is that hobby. Get a, yeah. It's just so on the nose there for these bored ass people. Yeah.

It's not stamp collecting though, it's something else. What is it? Trading. The small oriental merchant is doing much in, by the way, you knew it was something else. What is trading? The small Oriental merchant is doing much. By the way, he said the O word. The small Oriental merchant is doing much. Just for the listeners, Dave's not reading. He's just kind of riffing his own stuff. Yeah, yeah. That's right. Is doing much in the green stamps business, it is said. The merchants are almost compelled to buy green stamps to give their cash

patrons as a matter of protection to their business simply because other merchants carried them was the claim. So there, so again, here's the problem. We don't know what the green stamps are, but it seems to be some sort of tender. Yeah, it's some kind of tender like they're using it to buy and Yeah, it's some kind of tender like they're using it to buy and right. Yeah. So it's not like stamp. So we still in Honolulu, we're in San Francisco. This is this sounds like it's yeah. Hawaii. OK, yeah. It was said that in Singapore, the oh, no, sorry, it was said that it's

Spokane, the only way in which the stamp system could be curtailed was by the passage of an ordinance which ran the license fee up to $6,000. At this figure, the Green Stamps men acknowledged themselves beaten. Mr. McCurney said this was sufficient evidence that the Green Stamps men made money while the merchants lost and the housewives who were diluted into purchasing goods only from Green Stamps stores really paid more than you should. OK, so there's stores where you can only buy stuff with green stamps.

I like green stamps. Go and get green stamps. Chinese. Yes. Hearing the oriental. Yeah, but we're in. Right. Can the green stamps men come around with like the the men are at work. The wives are there.

It's like an Avon scheme. I don't know.'t know yeah I love it well it's how was your day honey well I've got a new currency of stamp for us Hank you idiot woman don't tell me the Chinese were here they're orientals honey sorry. I keep forgetting what they would I keep forgetting what we pretend they want to be called Green SNH green stamps was one line the trading stamps popular in the US from 1896 until the 1890 into the 1980s They were distributed as part of a rewards program by the company During like Marlboro the company issued. Yeah, this is safe way monopoly money. This is okay. Yeah, I Remember blue stamps. I don't remember green stamps

Remember anything blue stamps you would go to a business and you would buy stuff and they would give you some Blue stamps like as a rewards program Then you would take the blue stamps and you'd put them in a book. And then once you had a certain number of blue stamps, you could turn in the blue stamps for an idol. What a wild, weird thing. Wow, you worship the devil. That's interesting.

Yeah, it's very satanic now that I hear it. That does sound. A little stamp book. Mark of the Beast. Yeah, seriously, the stamp of the Beast. Yeah, seriously. Stamp of the Beast. We were Satanists, yes. I mean, that's one of those things that's so funny to imagine just going somewhere

and you're just like, and my blue stickers so that I can buy other stuff when I'm done. It's kind of like when you go to an arcade and you'd get the tickets. Yeah. So. I mean, but I don't understand why all these people are going. So this guy says he cited the case of a Portuguese storekeeper

who said he was really a financial sufferer because of the green stamps craze. That's a source of the way. So maybe people are only going to stores where they can get green stamps and they're not going to other stores. Sure. It's like the early getting miles, it's like getting points by using your credit card. Like what are you going to do, get a credit card where you don't get points? No. It's why, again, why I smoked Marlboro for so long because I wanted a windbreaker.

It's pretty obvious. Sound logic. God, that's, that's, I don't know. Do you remember the Marlboro miles Francesca rare. Yeah, yeah vaguely now that you said that I'm like So you could get camel points or you could get Marlboro miles and we would we were upset We were they fucking worked on my group of friends because we were smoking cigarettes and then my one buddy realized He just one day was like there's no way someone is counting all those miles and He just started sending some in and saying what he wanted and he just kept getting everything shut the fuck up Yeah, shut the fuck so then we were getting everything

We would just send it like handfuls of them, but you would need like ten thousand and we would send in like a thousand and you Would write on it, this is 10,000. Yeah, he'd be like, what do you want? I think you filled out paperwork, you were like, what you wanted and then my buddy was like, we were just all stoned and he's like, there's no way that they're making someone count all these fucking things.

And then we just started doing it, we were like, oh my god, genius. That's amazing, Gareth. Wow, you're like so... I've left. You seem really cool in high school. I've amazing, Gareth. Wow, you're like so. You guys seem really cool in high school. I've led one to one. I had so many camel box, and I could've done that. It still smoking.

That's weird. Buddy, how great would it be to send him in now? Eh, is the Marlboro lightest still available? Sir, we were sued by the government since then. I'm looking for another windbreaker. That is so fucked that that was actually legal. Like how many years off your life? You look back.

But you got a lighter. Yeah, yeah, a lighter should light more cigarettes. But I mean, think back to Joe Campbell and shit. Like I was thinking about that the other day, like Joe Camel was everywhere. It was like, he was, by the way, that guy, that Joe Camel fucking monster hybrid was banging human women.

Every ad, it was just him in a bar and he was just like, what's going on? Yeah, I'm here with a couple 10s pounded cigarettes. Aren't you a camel? Yeah, of course I love to hump. I'm not. There's something about him. He's different than all the other men.

It's like, he wears his dick on his face and I just feel like that's- So, Shelley broke up with me. I guess she sucked Joe Camel's dick in a bar. Face. We were just making out. It wasn't his dick, it was dick face, God. It was so bad, the US government was like, stop.

That's what really did it. It was like, it was so bad. Even the United States government got off the mat for a minute, it was like, we are literally gonna do something, this is insane. Who thought of, okay, that's another episode, but I'm just like, what horny motherfucker was like at a zoo and looked at a camel

and was like, damn, that is a sexy animal. What if it smoked? Devil trapped in umbrella dies in creek. God damn, finally, a banger. And devil dies in an umbrella. You mean the wind, like, did the, trapped in an umbrella? Could you just imagine a sort of Obama-style press conference announcing this kill?

We got the devil. We got him. He was in an umbrella in a creep. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah.

Ah. As soon as the criminal is captured, Chief McDuffie plans to add his collection of thumb prints, one of a full-fledged Chinese devil there we go We're just we're tripling down on this one guys the editor was Go ahead. You saved it for the Chinese guest. I am even though my name is Italian. I am half-china Well, I think I've been stuck in an umbrella before, so fuck you.

We can get away with it a little more because of your presence, is that okay? That's true, that's fine, no, no, please. I, the- If I laugh, every Oriental laughs. The idea that this editor was like, it's good, but can we attack the Chinese in that article a little bit harder? I'm sorry, so can we attack the Chinese in that article a little bit harder?

I'm sorry, so we decided it was Chinese. Any of your mission one. Rule of threes. Let's see if they're talking about just a Chinese guy, because that's what it seems like. Hello, help. I've fallen in the creek. Help me.

Well, it looks like we got ourselves satan he ever sails. For the time being, the devil is lost owing to the carelessness of the Chinese who captured him. The affair started as long as last week. Or the devil is. The devil died. The Chinese were careless. It could Dave be more clear,

the devil is died in the creek umbrella. The Chinese were careless. Good Lord, the Chinese were careless and the devil died in the creek. The devil died in an umbrella. Good thing or a back. So the Chinese, sounds like the Chinese helped you kill the devil. Francesca, let the white- Oh my God, Francesca. Sounds like the Chinese helped you kill the devil.

Francesca, let the white guys explain this for the last time. The devil died inside of an umbrella in a creek and we're mad at the Chinese kind of because of it, okay? Jeez. Okay, got it. First of all, the only, I'm imagining, you know like how Winnie the Pooh sometimes is pictured

sitting in a little umbrella upside down? Yes. Yes, you're picturing that What is that because it's Ji Jing Ping? I've only seen Winnie the Pooh inside of an umbrella Well, you know that the Ji Jing you cannot you cannot find Winnie the Pooh in China Oh, sorry, I didn't really why is that because he doesn't wear pants poo in China. Oh sorry I didn't really why is that because he doesn't wear pants? No it's because they said that they said that President Xi looks like Winnie the Pooh and he fucking hates it and so he's basically scrubbed the internet of pictures of Winnie the Pooh because he does. Is this true? Yes this is true yes.

Yes he drives up crazy. That's amazing. Yeah. Frequent complaints from Neunu Valley, I can't read this word, maybe accent, much carrying on. And noise in a Chinese establishment led to police examination. Okay, so there's a lot of noise and carrying on in the Chinese establishment. So the cops come. When Sergeant Kellett and his men arrived, they found a Chinese woman who in ordinary medical language would be said to be having hysterics. What? Yeah, yes, the medical term, hysterics. Well... Thank you, doctor.

Well, there's special hysterics because it's Chinese hysterics. It's It is a Chinese woman are quite different to that of the whites We have the double problem here of this being a Chinese woman What do we do? Get the other ever get okay. I'm not I'm not going to read this word, but however the Chinese is more subtle mind had arrived at other conclusions. Is that was there a terrible?

Well, what was there? Were there a terrible? Or a seaward? Celestials. Oh, Celestials. That's also one we just don't want to say these days. Okay. Okay. Bring it back though, Dave. Yeah, bring it back hard. She said she had been possessed of five devils and by the judicious application of tea leaves and making of much noise

on the dish pan, four of them had been scared out by the time the police arrived. This sounds like they verbatim translated her broken English into the paper. Yes. The guy writing it down, is there were five devils? Interesting.

Or they didn't understand what she was saying at all. No, exactly. Or they completely didn't understand. She was saying at all. No, exactly, or they completely didn't understand. She was jumped by five guys who stole her tea. She was like, my cat is in the tree, and they're like, she's got five devils in her. Yeah, nobody spoke Mandarin, so the guy, the only guy was like,

I think I was able to translate her Chinese a little bit. We got five devils on the loose, one got cockney umbrella, she's gonna make tea out of them. She's a little bit. Okay, we've got five devils on the loose. One got caught in the umbrella. She's gonna make tea out of them. Thank you so much, Miss Forkomo, you're not kiting with us. Kellett said he had no jurisdiction over devils and left. Unfortunately, that is a federal issue. We local authorities are not allowed to do devil containing.

Good luck and don't fall into any more hysterics. Yeah, if we can't shoot him in the back, I don't know what we can do. Yesterday, the head of the establishment, who is a vegetable gardener, met Kellett on the street all smiles He explained that he had got rid of the devil by the simple expedient of opening an umbrella under the window making one final chaos of noise and when the scared Demon had jumped out the window

Demon had jumped out the window. They had swapped, they had snapped the umbrella closed, quick and threw it in the creek. Can you imagine like the devil? Looney Tunes ass shit. I mean the devil is the way we picture Beelzebub and then so it's just like, yeah, it's pretty easy. We just snapped him into an umbrella. I do think Beelzebub is a Looney Tunes ass name. Like I just like, yeah, it was pretty easy. We just snapped him a number, umbrella. I do think Beelzebub is a Looney Tunes ass name.

Like I just kind of learned, I didn't grow up with that word. And so I'm like, I feel like just in this year, I've been like, wait, really Beelzebub? That is a corny ass help I'm trapped in an umbrella name. Yeah, I guess it is sort of. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Beelzebub like slips on banana peels. a name. Yeah, I guess it is. Sort of. What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know?

What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know?

What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know?

What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? What if you get to know? The cops showed up, she was very upset about something, and so the cops are just like, it's a devil thing or whatever. She's not speaking English. She's possessed. Ignored her, yeah. Ignored her, and then the next day, the guy who was the cause of the problem, whatever it was,

went out and he was smarter than the cop, and he's an Asian dude, so he pretended that some mysterious Asian thing had happened and told the cops some absolute bullshit and then walked away laughing at the cop. I like that. It's a good pitch. I don't hate it. I feel like it's kind of stolen valor for like the fact that she trapped the devil in an umbrella. I think it was her. He did. I choose to believe. She remained hysterical. She did get rid of some of the devils by banging on a pot. It's good to know, though,

it is that they're like raccoons, the devils. Yeah. Five passenger auto for modest road clerk. I've been looking for one. This is off this off the big island. The county again possesses an automobile. Again, big. That's two. One more crack at it.

If you've ever been to Hawaii, you know that they just leave it at the end of a road. That's it. It's it's a great because there's no way to get a car off an island once you're done with it. So they just leave it in place. Right. Right. Right. It's like the version of like what someone just drops their car at the airport cause they're

in a rush and they're like, keep it. Yeah. Right. Right. Right. It's the island of that. Um, or rather the district of South Heela does for the other supervisors, disclaim any knowledge of the matter that they bought a car. Mm hmm. The purchase of the machine. I disclaim any knowledge of the matter that they bought a car.

Mm-hmm. The purchase of the machine. I disclaim it. Mm-hmm. I disclaim this automobile. Mm-hmm. The new Ford Disclaim. The purchase of the machine, a five-passenger Ford, was conducted with the most extreme

modesty for not a word, was breathed about it at the meeting of the board And it was brought with the same charming lack of show which attends the purchase of a keg of nails It has been provided to furnace transportation for the roadkill. They're saying speech figures they're saying that they they bought they bought a Shit oh They bought they bought a. For the shit. Oh, so here's what's going on. We get it's the. It's the. The umbrella, boy. Yeah, open the umbrella.

Yeah, the mailman just came. Larry enough. He got the point. Larry. Not a lot of dogs know he got the point as a command, but Larry does. That's a great, great thing to yell at a dog. You've been emphatic. So they bought the car but they don't want people to know because people would think it's a really shitty use of county funds to buy a fancy new car. So they're quiet and they have keg and nails being if it blows up, it's going to be, you know, it's just waiting there.

If it explodes to powder keg, shrapnel of nails, powder keg and nails. It's like a big kahuna of nails. No, it's not far off. Is it? By the way, not enough Chinese in that one for me, if I'm being quite honest with you. Are the nails like a euphemism? A little China light and I don't like it. How many Chinese can fit into the Ford?

There we go. Chinese and clowns are very similar in their carpooling. This is Los Angeles news. Defended her honor with babe and arms. Nice. Bonoficio Hernandez, 28 years old, is dead today. Fantastic name. Bonoficio.

Bonoficio Hernandez, 28 years old, is dead today of a bullet wound inflicted by Miss Trinidad Olmos, a young Spanish major. Who are these people? I like the name Trinidad too. I love every name. I do too. So she killed a young Spanish major, upon whom he tried to force his attentions.

Nice putting it. I think we know what that means. Yes. force his attentions. Miss almost. I think we know what that means. Yes. What the Buddha was doing when he was big kahooning at the bar. Miss almost shot Hernandez through the stomach as she stood with her baby in her arms

and another child at her feet. Fuck yeah. Not again, motherfucker. Yeah, exactly not again. Yeah. That's not exactly not again. Yeah. That's the end of that. This is a love story in London. London was treated to the biggest sensation of these suffragettes today,

when an apparently good bomb, well, I mean, I guess it is a good bomb if it's for, if you're trying to, if you're blowing things up for voting, it's a good bomb if it's for if you're trying to if you're blowing things up for voting It's a good sure right right. That's true When an apparently good bomb wrapped in suffragette literature was found among the tombs in the West Minister Abbey I do like how they used to do that They used to rap they would pamphlet their bombs, essentially.

Yeah. It seemed like a very smart tactic, but apparently it was enough. Yeah, well. I want them to know it was us. Yeah. Yeah, if it blows up, I guess little pieces of it are gonna be everywhere.

Yeah, no, you would pick it up and you would just be like, right to vote. Oh, god damn suffragettes. A good bomb, though. I love that. I do too. Yeah. Yeah, that's what I say when I get off stage sometimes.

That was the good bomb. That was the good bomb. Most, most of times. The supposed deadly engine was rushed to Scotland Yard and while the city papers were filled with the story of the discovery, detectives cautiously investigated. It was found that the bomb was a fake

and the sensation died a-burning, a-burning. Oh, someone set the suffragists up. Or the cops were lying. Or the cops were lying. Or the cops were lying and saying. Or the suffragists just set up a fake bomb with literature, we'll never know. The police are at a loss.

It feels like my pitch didn't go over great, but OK. It didn't. What date was this? The police are at a loss whether to believe the planting of the fake bomb, an anti-surveillance hoax, or a warning from the militants that hereafter they will spare no building in their war for the ballot. Oh, hey, look who comes crawling back.

Yeah, yeah, hello everybody. Just seemed a little obvious. Stop this. Yeah, I don't know. I didn't know they got kind of militant. I mean, I guess they got militant, but I didn't know they got kind of militant I mean I guess they got me but I didn't know they like through bombs and shit in the UK. They were in the UK They were they were fucking not cool. They they were really like I did a reverse dollop like a live one on how they crashed the 1970 Miss World pageant and man, they were fucking done They were all they were not they were not fucking around

No, I got to listen to that you can't it's a just it was available for a virtual event So let that be a lesson to all you idiots out there. What do you or moved Australia and just to see you live? Yeah, yeah That's your solution ship yourself there like some hot meats. Like some meat? That's bullshit. Um, okay, okay, okay. You okay with that? No, I, I, yeah, I'm processing it.

Okay. Okay. A Puna society stirred over charges of theft of motherless donkey. Oh, Jesus. Man, these headlines, you really, the second back end of these were saved wisely. Motherless Donkey. I mean, that just sounds like a sweet gift for your kid,

you know? Motherless Donkey, a baby donkey. Yeah. This is out of Hilo. County Attorney Beers, the guy's name is B-E-E-E. I got an idea. Jesus. Why don't we kill the guy's name is be I got an idea Why do we kill the dog his mom and then it can suck on my tits she's beers stop talking what I Was hanging out with the Buddha last night. We did a bunch of blow how about that catch me outside mother

Catch me outside, mother. County Attorney Beers went to Puna yesterday to give advice in the case which is agitating the most select circles of Kapo, where a Hawaiian has had another Hawaiian arrested for larceny in the second degree. I love that they had to spell it out there like, no, this one's just Hawaiian on Hawaiian. Hawaiian has had another Hawaiian arrested for larceny in the second degree. I love that they had to spell it out there like, no, this was just Hawaiian on Hawaiian. It's not the normal stuff. Yeah. White on. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Yeah. The plaintiff had a Jenny, which I believe is a female donkey. Is that I think that's right.

Is a female donkey. Yeah. Which departed for celestial pastures. She left an infant doggie to mourn her loss. This is the defendant has in his possession such an infant, which the plaintiff claims is the issue of his late lamented Jenny. The defendant claims for it a different family tree. Oh, so he's saying there's a different baby donkey.

It's wild. This is made the paper's saying this is a different baby donkey. It's wild. This made the paper. Yeah, there's another baby donkey. There's a lot of donkey drama. Yeah. Jenny. Then I'm going to guess. So it's still like this, but Honolulu is the big city and like

Kauai is the country, the rural country. And the big island is also pretty country-ish as opposed to like Maui and... Right. So this is like your country news. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Donkey drums. The beers advised the police that they were as well qualified as was he to prosecute the cases

involving expertness in asinine genealogy. Nice. Asinine. How do you perform expertness in asinine genealogy? It actually sounds like a way to just discredit yourself before disappointing anyone. Now before I get into this genealogy, let me remind you, I'm not like most genealogists. I am completely asinine. So remember that. Now, excuse me while I throw some pasta sauce on the ground. My process is my process. This donkey is Chinese. That's all I know. This is a Chinese donkey. It's very clear.

Mother with Chinese, father with Dutch in fact. Yes, yeah. That's what this, so this person is looking at baby donkey in the face or a Jenny and being like nope, not baby. Liar, liar. Yeah. Yeah, it's the Mori Povic.

You've been told by these features. Exactly, it's the fucking Mori Povish. You've been told by these features. Exactly, it's the fucking Mori Povish. You are not the donkey. Not the donkey, Daddy. This guy's the worst. All right. Someone took all of our forks. Look, I told you my process is asinine.

That, look, I told you my process is asinine. Stood shoulder to shoulder with husband and handle they gun. Whoa. This is not a Mexico. Mr. and Mrs. This is not an Agua Caliente, Mexico, which we all know. Hot water. Hot water. John's a walker, a British mine owner and his wife fighting shoulder to shoulder, recently killed five

and wounded three men out of a band of 11 employees. How is that? As a band, a band of 11 employees. They're your workers to try to kill you. What did you do wrong? How is that not the headline? The headline is like, couple fires rifle and then it's a murder story.

Because it's cute. It is cute. Oh, it's a murder story. Because it's cute. It is cute. Oh, it's woman fought with Mexican cutthroats. I left that part out, didn't I? Woman fought with Mexican cutthroats. Okay, okay. I didn't see the main headline. So.

Still their workers though, but cutthroats. Their workers, their employees. So it's employees. It's employees trying to kill their boss. Usually something went wrong. Yeah. Miss Walker has arrived here under escort of troops. The employees attacked Walker in the office of the mine because of his inability to raise money with which to pay their wages.

Oh, yes. Oh. Oh, is that part of it? I wonder is that as the headline not great the headline really left a lot to the article really did yeah The the headline Woman fought with the Mexican cutthroat makes it sound like some woman is being attacked on a ship or something She and her husband. Yes fought them off as. As opposed to wage theft. Yeah, boss refuses to pay workers.

It's wild to imagine papers doing that sort of trickery. Isn't it? It's never happened, it never happened since. Gross. The attackers use knives and clubs, and Walker has been seriously cut and beaten when he opened fire upon them with an automatic revolver. Geez.

Miss Walker reinforced her husband with a rifle. Wow. After the battle, well battle, killing your workers, battle. Mr. and Mrs. Walker made their escape going into a building where they were befriended by a Spanish priest who hid them until he could procure the aid of the American consular agent here. I don't know if that's friendship that seems like a very

immediate it does I don't know if right away is like you may I may stash you but you must understand you are my friends yeah whatever we're just trying to get out of here. We are the godly ones. We had to kill 11 of our own workers but they deserved it. And Jesus would have approved of everything we did. They wanted, what did they want, honey? Oh, they wanted wages. Yeah, they wanted wages.

Before I hide you, I must say, I've never had friends as good as you two. That's great, no, we love you. I like your hair, I like the base. Maybe when this all blows over, we could maybe have paella. Sure, yeah, and you know, at some point. I could maybe find someone to take on a double date,

as we are of friends now. Totally, I'm sure there's a lucky lady out there. You know what, this group needs a secret handshake, as the BFF Club. Okay. So us, hashtag so us. Why don't we let's workshop that later. Can we just hide?

Or now. A storage closet or something? Yes, oh, for us to all hang, whoa. Gosh, we will be telling people this at a cocktail party someday. Are you a priest? Ah, I mean, look. How, look, look.

Everybody chill out. It's never good when it starts with luck. By the way, your wife is getting real fucking glippy. Okay? I am what I am. So the American consular agent was told and then he obtained a squad of troops to escort Mr. and Mrs. Walker. Some real McCloskey shit here. It's nice when the Army protects property. They bought a mine and then they had the workers take everything out of it and then didn't pay them and

the workers wanted to kill them. But what I like about this is the workers are gonna shut the fuck up and listen in future. Sure. So that's pretty good for them. I'm sure this was all adjudicated and they served time for the murder of employees and what not. They shut down that mine of course. Well that's what's so great about a mine is it can also be a mass grave.

Hello. Is anyone. Can you guys hear me? There we go. By the way. By the way, the Oscars this year, we might have our first gold African gold mine owning Oscar winner. Jeffrey Wright. That's exciting.

The eye. God, that's awesome. So we're really, really things are going good. Last, Jeffrey Wright. It's not exciting. The eye-writing. Oh, God, that's awesome. So we're really, really things are going good. Last story, last one. Yeah, okay. Orders hats off in church. Always. This is from Wilkes Bar, Pennsylvania.

Okay. Women who attend church for the sole purpose of displaying costly hats. And showing off their hats, it's the only reason they go. Got the full mouth covered in hands. All these jealous men, we know who you're really here for. I know, as a woman has like an active owl branch on her hat.

You know the Holy Ghost doesn't see you, right? Oh, it's disgusting. You know, God doesn't care. Now what you would do when I would do- God cares a whole lot. What I would do if I was a woman in this church is I would put a full on Jesus crucifix on my hat and be like, now the system's on trial.

How much do you hate hats? You just have like, my neck is so sore. A crucifix made out of canaries. Yeah, yeah. I dare you to take it off. Yeah. And whose presence wins the attention of women members of the congregation

while services are being conducted. So they're mad at the hats because other women are looking at the other hats. Yeah, it's a whole half there. Have been barred by Dr. T. C. Edwards of the Welsh Congregational Church in Edwardsville, one of the largest in the Wyoming Valley. He has announced that hereafter all women who attend services at this church must remove their hats as soon as they are seated. The trustees of the church have decided to back up the pastor in this move. Wow.

Make your sermons a little more interesting. You're getting distracted by a fucking hat. It does, it actually does scream. What's going on here is not exciting. Exactly. If people are like. He caught a glimpse of a woman like checking out, like, wow, that's interesting.

Like just like checking out like a cute purple hat, got super fragile about his boring ass sermon. I don't know if it came at the request of the pastor. More like sir women, by the way. Keep going, sister. See? And then women can't just flex and flaunt in a church service, come on now. But Francesca, just we have,

on the dollop we have covered the history of hats in a way that just, if you had told me when we started, the way that I would look at the hats to read of this country, I just said, what? The hats that women went through probably around this era, right Dave? They were rocking were truly like parts of forests. They were basically wildlife preserves and women would be like, hello. That's what happens when you can't vote, okay?

You have to do other things. When you can't open a bank account, get a job. Give us a fucking hat. Look, it gets bigger and bigger the fewer rights we have. The UK had the suffragettes putting bombs of women in America, like, we'll just, I think our hats might just be an owl reserve. They speak for themselves.

Oh, that's so fucking funny. I mean, the skies used to be blacked out by birds. There were so many birds. And one of the biggest killers of the birds in history was the hat makers for ladies hats. Oh, can you imagine? Oh, okay, what about top hats? Are the top hats big taller?

We know, but we also kept our stuff underneath them. Listen, the show ends as soon as someone's trying to put some problems on the men of the country. So the show's over, Francesca. You've pushed us to it. I've always wanted to do a dollop about the first guy who wore the top hat, but there's not enough about it.

But basically he put on a top hat and went outside in London and people wanted to kill him. That's an hour. Speaking of an hour, March 17th, the Sacramento punchline. That's right. You, Francesca and Matt Leib will be doing a show there. Also the Bituation Room, it's a podcast,

it's a YouTube show, Dave and I have done it. Yeah. And we thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. Situation Room it's a podcast. It's a YouTube show Dave and I have done it Yeah, and we thank you so much for joining us. Thank you Have you figured out who's closing that show or you were you were Matt? I'm closing I am closing. Oh, so I'm gonna go ahead and just say you're the headliner and oh I am I've got top building he closed in San Francisco How did it was like? was like not as like a Taylor Swift's Opener closing for her weird. Yep. Yep. Yeah, I'm guessing he's not gonna listen to this episode. No, not at all

Yeah, no he opened his set saying that I Stole the joke No, this has been so fun. I'm such a big fan you guys so Well, thank you Well, like we said people should go check you out and and your show is a like a current events show with a lot of great guests Truly you get some fucking awesome activists on your show So people should go check it out thrown a lot of good bombs. That's right All right, and goodbye everybody. Thating a lot of good bombs. That's right. Yeah. All right. And goodbye,

everybody. That's the end of the podcast. You could probably see the amount of time left and it's probably about five seconds, four seconds, three seconds, two seconds and the show's over. Fun. Fun. And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's. I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb.

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and while you're away, you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think, so find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host.