The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 618 - Rebel William Morgan - Live

Episode Date: January 30, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine Cuban rebel William Morgan Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Nutrafol - Code: Dollop Squarespace 

And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's. I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. So the other thing is maybe you've stayed in Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable.

Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. Well, it could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Or maybe you wanna go somewhere warm over the winter and while you're away, you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills

or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. So find out how much at Airbnb.ca slash host. You're listening to the Dallup! It's an American History Podcast, or each week I, Dave Anthony, read a story from American history to my nemesis. Mm-hmm. Garrett Threadold's has no idea what the topic is going to be about. I'm just happy to not be called your driver for an episode on the road.

The nemesis is refreshing. Okay. Super strange. I'm just thinking about my dad. He was a great man. There's no doubt. I didn't kill him. He was a great man. He was a, your father, a lover of alcohol.

A man who raised a total lunatic. He was a, your father, a lover of alcohol, a man who raised a total lunatic, a bringer of women to his house for dinner while still married, Mr. Anthony. That was a date. Nothing wrong with that guy. You're allowed to do that if it's a date. Yeah, it's a carve out. Absolutely.

That's how you keep the spice. That's how you keep your wife interested. You got to bring a date home for dinner every now and then. That's right. Show you're still out there playing the field a little bit. Yeah. Why would I kill a hero like that? Exactly.

Because you're a bad person. Not good enough. The dollop is brought to you by Nutraful. Look, guys, you don't have to choose between hair growth and our health. Nutraful is a drug-free, whole-body approach. It promotes hair growth from within. No compromises. It's just better

hair, which I need. Your hair is pretty sweet, but I'm the guy... I'm taking it. You are. Well, yeah, I think that you don't have the same issues I do, which is a little bit of a spot happening, but hair thinning, it's not inevitable. It's not. You can take control of your hair's future before it gets too late with NutriFull's clinically tested hair growth supplement for men. Over 80% of dudes are going to have hair thinning in their lifetime, Gareth. It's normal.

But it doesn't have to be that way. NutriFull is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand with over a million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding. I am on neutral. My wife's like, your hair looks better. Is that right? I go by, yeah, she did.

She did that day. She goes, your hair looks better. And I was like, yeah. Well, it's very easy. It's just four little thingies. They call it thingies? Yeah, we'll call it supplements. That's it.

It's a physician formulated using 100% drug-free ingredients, and their patent technology provides consistent, reliable results without compromising your sex life, which Gareth. Well, what is the point of having all this beautiful hair if you're not gonna use it to go out there and sling? So you can purchase online, no prescription, or doctor's visits required,

free shipping and automated deliveries, and sure sure you'll never miss a day. See results in three to six months. Let's go. Take the first step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, NutriFold is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to nutrifold.com slash men and enter promo code DALUP. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and hairstylists recommend neutrophol for healthier hair.

Neutrophol.com slash men spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L dot com slash men and enter promo code DALUP. That's neutrophol.com slash man promo code dollop. Don't be a neutrophool. Get neutrophol. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Our babies. Our babies. We love Squarespace. We've been working with Squarespace forever. We use their websites like crazy. I would say it's an obsession. It's a problem. My website is with Squarespace. Gareth's website is with Squarespace. Our sources pages with Squarespace and thedollapodcast.com where you can get clean episodes. We have clean episodes up there for the kiddos. And then we have all our tour information, which we may be having a little update on

that. Yeah, we love it. Where's suckers for it? They have flexible website templates. You get started with any of their, like, really professional, really nice templates, designs for everything you want to use it for, any category. And you can make any Squarespace template do what you want. I turned one into a monkey butler.

You can have a video collection, you can host video content, you can organize your video library and showcase your content under these really great video pages, sell access to your videos with member access. Yeah, you can do it all. They also have an online store. Sell your products right there in the online store. You can sell physical, digital service products.

Get a monkey butler. Get a monkey butler. Squarespace has it all. You can just start selling online. I'm going to sell Gareth online. Well, not if my monkey butler is anything to say about it. You'll have to get through him. So head to squarespace.com for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash dollop to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain We love you squarespace. I'm squarespace Marius. Okay, we'll figure it out. It's a crazy proposition

Love is crazy. Yeah. Yeah April 19th 1928 It's 1928. Ear of our Lord, Jesucristo. The magic man. He got it. Three day nap, he's back. William Alexander Morgan was born in Cleveland, Ohio. The family very quickly after moved to Toledo. Literally a man just shouted, you, Delito. You guys need to fucking let it go.

His father was a solid Republican. His mother, Loretta, always wore the latest hat style. So you're telling me the father's political affiliation and the mother was up to date on hats? There's more. Okay. She was known around town as Miss Cathedral because of her devotion to the local Catholic church. Miss Cathedral? I bet she had like a church on her hat. Yeah. Morgan was a Boy Scout.

He had a very high IQ. He was a notorious chatterbox. Sure. Okay. He got the nickname Gapper. As a child? Probably a little older than a child. Maybe early teens. Okay, still. Kind of fucked up to be like, boy, this kid doesn't shut up. He's excited. He's got a joie de vivre.

Shut him up. It's like hanging out with a little cokehead. It's annoying. His sister would later say, quote, he was so likeable he could sell you anything. Want a log? Want to bust some wood? Fifty dollars. If I don't say what the quote's from, all the quotes will be from the New Yorker story by David Graham. Okay. Yeah, he would, so he got into fantasies, he got into adventure books, that was his big thing.

Mmm. He would skip school to read adventure books like King Arthur's stories. He would skip school. At 14, he got a job on the docks. What? That's what you did then. Still? That seems like we're a little more... 40s, yeah. Okay.

And he still wanted to get out of town though. He wanted to get away from, you know, the little town. Sure. So in 1943 at 15, Morgan ran away. Okay. When 1943 at 15, Morgan ran away. Okay. He came back days later and then stole his dad's car. Nice. That's really great that he was like, he had like three days on the lam and he was like,

I need wheels. Morgan, you're home finally. He was like, later. Shirts ain't supposed to have ties fixed on him already. No! He got arrested for that. Wow. Put in jail, but he escaped.

Man, I really, it used to be able to make a jail break so much easier. Right? Yeah, I mean, how did he get out, do you know? How did he get out? Do you know? How did he get out? I believe if I recall correctly he overpowered a guard. Wow, that's great. That's what I feel like about security guards at the grocery store. I'm like, if push came to shove, I can win this one. I was like an 85-year-old woman. I'll just be like, lady, no. She'll be like, oh, God, I didn't want to, but you shouldn't be in this one. I was like an 85 year old woman. I'll just be like, lady no. She'll be like, oh God, I'll be like, I didn't want to,

but you shouldn't be in this role. Plus, security guards at grocery stores, you just go like, fuck you, and they're like, I don't care. I make it $12 an hour, why would I stop you? Yeah, no, there's a lot of that. When people are like, can you believe these people are stealing from Walgreens, and that security guard didn't stop them?

Like, yeah, for sure. What are you talking about? It's awesome. That is a great story. In this country right now, you could go into a Walgreens and take whatever you want. Like, we're not doing that enough. We're all just standing there like, wow, what a legend. We should all be like, there you go. What are you going? I'm not gonna pay for this scope. Fuck you! Uh, okay. Wow. So, um, he made his way to Chicago after escaping. Uh, when he was in Chicago, he joined the circus. He was like, man, fuck the docks. That's not good.

I'm gonna join the traveling circus. Yep. Well, the circus is a place where, you know, it's full of criminals, you just like, they're happy to have you. Like, you wanna learn how to fuck people over? I do! Okay, right.

So what is he in the circus? What is he doing in the circus? I don't, you know, we don't know what he did in the circus here, but 10 days later, his father found him taking care of the elephants and brought him home. He's just there washing elephants. Ten days later, his father found him taking care of the elephants and brought him home. Just he's just there washing elephants.

No, dad! This is what I've always wanted to do! Come home, son. This is super weird. The hell's going on here? Look at you. The hell? Quit washing against penis!

Oh my God, that's a penis? Yes, the truck's on the face. Oh. The truck's on the face. Quit trying to feed it, hey. It's not how this works. That might be why he likes me so much. Yes, good God.

They say they never forget. My Lord! I knew you like holding logs, but come on, boy! You showed me how to do this! I learned it from you! I know! Look! Come on!

Get in your car that's mine. Let's get out of here. Come on, boy. So his father brings him home, but then he leaves again really quickly. He starts traveling around the country on buses doing odd jobs. He hated home. I mean, home must have been intolerable. He didn't like home. Was it the hats?

His mom's a little rough. She's a little hard. Okay. He did odd jobs like a punch press operator, a grocery clerk, a ranch hand, a coal loader. Coal loader. Nice. Used to host MTV News. So he starts hanging out with criminals, getting in trouble with the law. Cool. Then World War II started. and he signed up at 18 years old.

He took a train to California, because he was going to be deployed to Japan, and on the train he sat next to Darlene Edgerton. Quote, he was tall, and handsome, and so magnetic. I was coming home to marry someone else, and just hit it off so we stopped off in Reno and got married. Here's why that's refreshing. Relationships now feel so fickle. Like it's just like you never, you know,

and I think we romanticize how it used to be. Like you'd be like, you couldn't meet enough people so therefore, you know, you would be like, look, I'm kinda locked in. But she sat next to him on a train and was like, fuck it, let's go. Not only I'm leaving the guy I'm gonna get married, but let's us get married on one of the stops.

Yeah. I like that. It's great. They'd known each other for just 24 hours. That's a fucking hell of a train ride. That's part of the problem. Great. They'd known each other for just 24 hours. That's a fucking hell of a train ride. That's part of the problem. These trains are too long. Yeah.

After staying two nights in a hotel in Reno, they headed for California. Oh, so much banging. Yeah. That hotel room was just covered in lube. Yeah. Clean me like the elephants. Once in California, Morgan flew to Japan. Jesus, what a fucking bad situation for her too.

What a great time getting to know and marry her. Goodbye for maybe ever. Well yeah, the marriage didn't last for some reason. It didn't. No. Well, what do you think it was, buddy? I don't know. Darlene had it an old after 18 months.

Now Morgan is in Japan and he hooks up with Setsuko Takita. She's a Japanese-German nightclub hostess in Kyoto. She got pregnant. Nice. And right before she was about to give birth, Morgan went AWOL and bailed. Nice move. As you do. Yeah.

I don't think I wanna be a father. Good luck with the crowning. Now that I'm seeing the top of its head, this feels wrong. Take care. So he was arrested for going A-wall, and oh, this is what he did. This is when he beat up a garden escaped. This is when he what? This is the time he beat up a garden escaped. So I don't know how he did it before but. Okay. And then for beating up the garden escaping he gets five

years in prison. Well that'll just find the weak guard and get the fuck out. Yeah. Pfft. Ah, that's it. Later, yeah. At 19 in federal prison, he became more religious, joined the choir, and got interested in social justice. Okay, interesting. Okay. A psychologist, a prison psychologist, described him as, quote, smart, angry, and self-destructive. Nice. I like the way this guy led with the good stuff, though. Yeah. He's really smart. Also, back off. Watch out. So he gets out in 1950 and then he was dishonorably discharged,

which caused deep shame in his family. Sure. But is he still talking to his family? Yeah. Okay. As a matter of fact, there's video of him and when he signed up, his mom was there with him and all proud. Okay, right. Look at the new hat. Yeah, really, a chip off the old hat block, boy.

So his mom said at this point, quote, I sincerely want him to be a boy I can justify being proud of, not one to hang my head in shame for having given him birth. Well now we see where the issues come from. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha He is, so you know, he's had two, well I guess one wife and one lady. Baby mama. Baby mama. Right. So now he's obviously not with anybody again, so he moves to Florida.

Sure, you got to go. I think he's prime Florida material from what I've heard so far. Perfect time to head to Florida. And he joins a carnival. He is a knife thrower Okay, and a fire swallower. And where does he do it? I might have missed that. Just around in a carnival. Okay carnival. Yeah, carnival. Right, okay, okay, so he's back awesome. He then fell in love with the snake charmer Ellen. Carnival. You have the Carnival? Right, okay, okay, so he's back. Awesome.

He then fell in love with the snake charmer, Ellen. Well, I got a snake you can join. And they have a daughter in 1955, and then they get married, and then they had a son. Okay, oh boy. Now, circus kids. Now Morgan wants to settle down at this point. Who does? He does. He does. Okay. And so he gets a job as a clown and a bouncer in a Miami nightclub. Clownser if you will. No, no, no, Clouncer if you will

Is there a no it's not your turn to talk so oh you have questions yeah a couple of questions So he wants to settle down that's correct So he wants to have in town well, I guess the carnival was in town well He doesn't yeah, he doesn't have because of his record He doesn't have a lot of options because it's 50s they're not like what's higher ex cons. No, and I know there was a... Like now where they love it. I know there was a booming clown bouncer industry at that time. So it's...

He works at a bar where you need to be a clown to bounce. It's a nightclub, and it's an entertainment nightclub. Sure. Hence the clown, but also... Well, still, I don't know if it's hence time. So... And as a clown bouncer... Clownster.

He had time to figure that one out. No, I literally just thought of it. I really did. I bet if I look in there, it's bolded. Um... Then you say clown sir. Deveit if asked. Um... And he...

Just because it's like a kind of weird bar, he's a clown sir. Correct. Or a bound. Yes, a bound, yes. Okay. Wig? I don't know. Probably I would assume wig and makeup and then you know, throw a guy out.

Yeah, it's just an amazing moment to just be like, hey, enough bullshit, you gotta get out of here. Wait, are you a clown? Hey, get out of here, look, no more fun and games. Jesus, why are you- We're sick of your malarkey. Why are you squirting me with a fucking- Because I want you to understand what's going on.

Get the pies, listen. What the fuck? We're done with this. Get on the back of this tiny bike, let's get out of here. I just wanna stay and have a drink. Absolutely not. What the fuck was that? My shoe!

Jesus Christ! Okay, I will leave if you stop taking all those handkerchiefs out of your nose. Look, I'm gonna find my brass knuckles in these endless pockets of kerchief. So why- Rascal, get him. So while he was living in Miami, that is where he heard about Cuba. Cuba. Nice.

What was going on in Cuba was the dictator Batista had been president from 1940 to 1944, and then he ran again in 1952, but he lost, so he took the country by force. Oh, I was gonna say, I love dictators who are running and lose. Damn it, I guess I don't understand what I'm doing as well. Well, you know the Democratic vote is the Democratic vote. Baptista, quote, liked sitting in his palace,

eating sumptuous meals and watching horror films. He tortured and killed dissidents whose bodies were sometimes dumped in fields with their eyes gouged out or their crushed testicles stuffed in their mouths. My God, why the balls in the mouth? Dave, why, you're crazy. You know what, I'm putting balls in the mouth, but I'm not crushing them first.

Right. Well, maybe they don't fit in. Well, come on. It's not an elephant ball. Nice. It's anybody can fit balls in their mouth. Who's put balls in their mouth? Got it right up front.

So you're up front, so you can't see that not a lot of people decided to get involved in the answer of that. That was very much a solo situation. It was a straw poll and you were like, well front row, surely there's a bunch of people behind. Oh, it's by the only one? Oh, that's interesting.

That's interesting. Okay, sure. Whatever guys. All of us who have had balls in our mouth are leaving. It's a workout. Just me. All right. I'll sit down.

Let's watch the show. Okay. You can't use this in the show legally. Now, of course, because he was a horrible dictator. Eisenhower supported him. Mm-mm-mm. As we do, we have a deep, deep tradition in this country. Well, you're a fuckhead. I'll shake your hand on camera. Well, we'll support you until you give us oil bullshit.

Then we'll kill you and put a new one in place and call it democracy. How are you? Eisenhower said he hoped Batista would, quote, deal with the commies. That's right. Show me how to put those balls in the mouth, will you? The ambassador to Cuba would tell a Senate hearing, quote, I don't think we've had a better friend than Batista.

Yeah, it's pretty amazing. Yeah. I like a guy who puts balls in other people's mouths. Mm-hmm. It's do you. He just gave me one of these, bingo. But there's a good way to do it and a bad way to do it. On November, in November 1956, the Castro brothers, Raul and Fidel, and Argentinian Che Guevara.

Fuck boy. Trying to overthrow Batista and they failed. Fidel was shot in the neck and they went into hiding. Also other rebel groups started springing up at the time because Batista is a fucking piece of shit. Right. So Morgan is, like he said, in prison he got into social justice,

but he's an ex-con, he's been dishonorably discharged, so he doesn't know what he can do to really help anybody. Also his job, he doesn't like his job, it's very boring. And with his- He doesn't like the clown bouncer job? Yeah, but I... He's like, I'm bored. What's it all about?

But he doesn't have a lot of job options, right? Right. He has no, he has some connections. So he starts working for the mob. Okay, nice, awesome. He did errands for... What am I, a clown? Am I a clown to Okay, nice, awesome. He did errands for the... What am I, a clown? Am I a clown to you?

Yes, yes. Oh, okay. Hey, we're looking for a really fucked up clown. Okay. We want a guy to come in, make some people laugh, cut him open. Hey, these guys wearing a wire. I know, it's connected to the flower.

Ah! Oh, all right. Who's this? This is the mob guy. It's Meyer Lansky. Yeah, everyone has a hat. Everyone has a hat. Yeah.

He controlled nightclubs and casinos in Havana. Okay. Quote, a mob associate once described how Lansky took Batista straight back to her hotel, opened the suitcases, and pointed at the cash. And Batista just stared at the money without saying a word, then he and Meyer shook hands. Nice. So they're all in with Batista. Right. Now Morgan was also working for Ohio mob boss Dominic Bartone. Sure. Or Bartone, I don't know, nor do I care. Great, very open to suggestions,

that's what we love about you. What's the worst that could happen? I offend some guy in the mob? Yeah. Wow, good luck, cause I'll put his balls in my mouth. Ohio style. What's that corn? It's called an Ohio necktie. So Bartoni, Barton is sending weapons to Cuban rebels. And pretty soon Morgan is part of that. He's getting them and he's helping smuggle them.

And in 19, in December 1957, Morgan goes to Cuba. No one really knows why he goes to Cuba. Okay. Quote, I have lived always looking for something. That's fairly true. It's just we don't know what it was. Yeah. Yeah, he was always on the quest for something, but just seemed to never have any idea.

So he's like, yeah, okay. Now despite the war, Havana is still a tourist place. Morgan Quote tried to appear as just another man of leisure. He wore a $250 white suit with a white shirt and a new pair of shoes. Okay. I would imagine that seems like Havana casual. Right? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know anything. It just sounds crazy. Yeah. I mean it does.

It really does. You know what would go good with this white jacket, a white shirt. Yeah, a white man. I love white. I love white. I'm white the clown. Now he meets up with the revolutionary, he knew from Miami. Don't drink any wine around me, this thing does it, it's dry clean only, so. Ha ha ha ha! I had white, you know, I rock these white jean pants sometimes, you know what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah. You know what happened to them? I like to drink red wine. Well that was that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, just fucking didn't look good. Looked like I became a drink red wine. That was that? Yeah. Yeah, just fucking didn't look good. Like I became a woman.

Well, thanks for bringing your... Too much? Too soon? No, it's just everyone's really excited you brought your personal trauma into the show. Thank you, yeah. As you were. As I was. So he meets this revolutionary and he says, I want to join up with Fidel Castro.

Okay. And the guy is like, why? Yeah. What do you think? Yeah, okay. He doesn't understand why an American would want to fight for Cuban rights. And Morgan says, I love danger and being on the side of good. So it is ideological to some extent, right?

Yeah, okay. Sort of. I mean, he just wants to, he wants action. He wants something. He doesn't like Batista. Right. Okay. That's bullshit.

Right. And he does enjoy action. Sure. As we can tell from the elephant watching. Yeah, he's a clown bouncer. Clown bouncer clown bouncer clown sir bound And

So this seems like an exciting thing to do so it is kind of adrenaline based more than anything He's been in the military cuba's clothes here. Shh very close right? He can swim there and not lose all the clown makeup. Yep. Yeah, okay so Morgan says he also wants revenge for a friend who was caught smuggling weapons and was tortured and tossed to the sharks by Batista. Wow. Okay. Who's the friend?

Do we know? Yeah, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I mean, his name was here, but it's just like... Okay, but it did happen. Yes, it happened. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. All right. I just don't want to read a bunch of names because you'll be like, why are there 50 people? Don't put it on me. Okay, his name's Frank. Wait, who's the original guy? Where are we? I'm lost! Is that your dad? Oh, David, why? Oh my God, he's dead. So he's upset about his friend, and this guy's like,

look, I can't take you all the way to the castles. So the castles are like farther away in the mountains. Sure. And he goes, but there's another rebel group that's closer. Okay, right. And I can get you to those guys. That's great. I love it. Okay, so I'll start at rebel group B's closer. Okay, right. And I can get you to those guys. That's great, I love it. Okay, so I'll start at Rebel Group B.

Work my way in. As long as they're rebels, that's all I'm looking for. That's all I want. Yeah. It's fine. Just adorable. It might be the mobster. Oh. Ha ha ha.

So, so he gets a, the place he's gonna to take him to is the Escombray Mountains. That's where he's going. So, a peasant, he hires a peasant to take Morgan through the jungle. Okay, awesome, right, great. And he brings him to a camp with about 30 or so very emaciated dudes. Awesome, so right away you're like, okay, cool, cool, cool vibe. So you guys are fighting with that?

You guys need a clown bouncer, so this is, everybody is really skinny. Is that by choice? What's the diet here? Okay, all right, a lot of bugs, huh? Geez, not loving the vibe so far. Feels like I'm pot committed. Okay, sure. Not a lot of beds, not a good smell.

No, we just sleep on the floor. Right, the floor of the jungle, you mean? Yeah. The ground, as I call it. Yeah, we eat bugs. You eat bugs, that's awesome. Great, all right. I'm looking to castra as far.

Why'd you wear the white suit? I didn't realize how leafy it was gonna be. It's very muddy out here. I thought it was a drier jungle. Is that the peasant and I haven't been able to come, I don't wanna call him a peasant. The boy, the man, the guy, the fellow with the machete and I have not been talking a lot.

So I feel like a lockout lost in translation. And I packed pretty heavy and he told me right away the only the things you need. And I wasn't sure, when he said jungle, I thought sort of like, you know, kind of a little, maybe like a little more jungle bookie vibe or where we have pales going up with ropes and pulleys and things like that.

But this seems pretty scant. Lot of leafs seem to be working for you guys, which is great. But this is, this is, but this is... A jungle. This is a jungle. It's a jungle jungle. Absolutely. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah. I was thinking maybe we could... But I only brought the white suit, which in retrospect, oopsie poopsie, that wasn't the best idea, was it now? Did you think this was Fantasy Island? I didn't know what it was, but I do love that show. And I really, I guess in a way I sort of thought it was. It's not.

No, it's not. No, no, it's not even an island. Oh man. Can I ask you a question? Yeah, yeah, please. Why the clown makeup? Well, I'll be honest, it doesn't wash off as easily as I thought. It's funny because the suit is damp and the face is still clowned out. So, yeah, but really... Have you heard of Cleveland out. So, yeah, but really... Have you heard of Cleveland corn growing? Have not heard of that. I didn't think you guys would be able to get corn out here. That's crazy. Just go ahead and lay down. Lay down? Yeah. Uh-huh. And that's corn related or that's a... Have you ever played Halo? Halo. That's for some very select gamers.

Who are you talking to in the outward area? Sometimes I talk to the animals. Leads and infoliates? The animals? Forced. Right, okay. Jungle. Good vibes.

Good vibes. Good vibes. Absolutely. I'm a little hungry from the journey. Oh, well then let's teabag you. Okay, thank you. I love an English breakfast. So when he gets there, they're very suspicious that he's been sent by the CIA because the CIA has tried to infiltrate the rebel groups,

acting like reporters or whatever. Right, and there was very little vetting I guess going on before this. They were kind of like the guy who sent them there was just like, yeah, go, they'll figure it out. I mean, there's just not a lot of, there's only 30 guys in it, so it's not like it's a... Right, okay, right. They also were worried that Batista would send someone to infiltrate them. So they're a little, they're a little suspicious. Right. Their leader, Eloy Guterres Menoyo, so he is 23, he came from Spain. His CIA file stated, quote, that he was an intelligent capable young man who would

not break under normal interrogating techniques. Oh, in other words, kill. No, pop an eye out with a fork or whatever. Right, yeah. You can't just do the regular stuff of burning or putting corn in. It's called water corning. Water corning? You will talk. So Morgan says he's like look I can train you guys in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat. Quote, to demonstrate his prowess, Morgan borrowed a knife inflicted at a tree at least 20 yards away. It hit the target so squarely that some rebels gassed. Gassed.

Jeez. Pfft. She's surprised. Oh my God, I farted. That was so crazy. Shot us all to the left. We're all farting because we're very impressed with what you just did. We're aghast.

Unbelievable what you did. You split the target, I'm my buttocks. And this man's gonna need a new white suit if you understand. You're very good. So he basically did his circus act, throwing the knife. Right, yeah. And they're like, wow, this guy's cool. Whoa, all right, cool.

Yeah, and he's like, and you're 45, 23, damn it. Pretty good at age too, normally. You're weight, hard to approximate, to be honest. Upper body, 20 pounds, lower 140, I can't tell. You're a very... Difficult to judge, to be quite honest. You build like an anchor. So they're still not sure, you know, if they trust him, they start testing him, they marched him up and down the mountain. Their testing is loyalty and stamina.

At one point they made him walk into a poisonous shrub which, quote, stung like wasps and caused his chest and face to become grievously inflamed. Jesus Christ. Poison shrub. Did they tell him it was, yeah, they were like, they didn't. They were like, walk through that fine hedge. He was like, okay, okay. These tests are pretty easy. My throat is closing Bees it's a bee bush

So Morgan just took it all and it goes on for a while. He gets to go home No, no, he's taking it all. Oh, okay, and it goes on for a while and he loses 35 pounds nice It goes on for a while and he loses 35 pounds. Nice upper body. He becomes... You've got the form we're after here. He becomes unrecognizable. And the rebels come to admire and trust him. They called him Mananero, a trickster,

because he was always joking around. You need that in the jungle rebel group. Yeah. This guy, keep an eye on him, he's always joking around. You need that in the jungle rebel group. Yeah. This guy, keep an eye on him, he's a prankster. So, a Batista Army patrol was moving through the jungle, and Manoya ordered his men into positions, but said nobody shoot unless he says so. Okay, this is the Batista Army one.

Yeah. Okay, right. And he's like, don't shoot anybody. They're way outnumbered. They don't want to get involved. Okay, this is the Batista army. Yeah. Okay, right. And he's like, don't shoot anybody. They're way outnumbered. They don't want to get involved. Wait, his group is the one that they're like, don't shoot anyone. Okay, got you.

He's hoping that they would just pass through and not see the camp and all that. So as soon as they get close, Morgan starts shooting. All right. I'm not, I only speak English still. That's exactly what it was. Really? Yeah, he didn't speak Spanish. He was like sitting there just like, uh-huh, uh-huh. Fuck yeah.

I love the passion. It's so awesome, man. I wish I could roll my R. Look at that, fuck yeah. All right, copy that. What did he say? I don't speak Spanish at all. All right, copy that. Hey, what did he say? I don't speak Spanish at all. All right, here we go.

Shit, man, fire! Yeah, so they hit a soldier and the patrol retreated, and in Illinois, I was furious at Morgan, and Morgan's like, what? What are you yelling about? I don't speak Spanish, dude! Yeah, he said, I thought you said shoot when I see their eyes. You said shoot.

It turned out no one had translated the command to Morgan. So he had no idea what was going on. Well, I mean, a goof. Yeah, he's a jokester. He's a prankster. That's what jokesters do. He's funny. So now they have to leave the camp

because Batista's men know where they are. Right. And they march a hundred miles. Jesus Christ. And Batista sent men out looking for them and at one point they see patrol of about 200 soldiers. And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's.

I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. So, the other thing is maybe you've stayed in an Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be an Airbnb. Well, it could be as simple as starting with a spare room

or your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Or maybe you want to go somewhere warm over the winter and while you're away you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. So find out much at airbnb.ca. And they waited until the soldiers were super super close, then they started shooting. I like that ambush plan. Let's wait until they're close, then kill them. You're a fucking genius. We hadn't thought of that. That's what I was doing last time. Wait till you see their eyes.

You didn't let us know the plan. Yeah, well... Once they get close, we do it. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's what we're gonna do. That's what I'm saying. Do it when they get close.

Once they get close. Once they can see the clown makeup on our faces? That's what we're gonna do. That's what I'm saying. Do it when they get close. Once they get close. Once they can see the clown makeup on our faces. That's right. We pop out of the bush. And bush. Honk the nose. No, no, no, no.

Honk the nose. No, no, no. You're not listening. They'll see this white suit for a while. You know what I mean? Like, they'll know what's coming. Donde esta biblioteca? S-O-C-K-S.

Spanish is easy. Right, so this is probably not the best time for a lesson with the ambush plan happening and the soldiers coming. Tortuga. There are no turtles here. Turtle. Turtle. Yeah.

No, I'm very aware of a turtle. We move like tortugas. We... Where is the... The... Tortuga Biblioteca? Where is the turtle? Where is the turtle library?

Where's the turtle library? Yeah. So, CKS. I don't think there is a turtle library. No. That's what you'd say to me. No, no. Yeah.

No, it's, uh, Tortuga Bibliotech. Shit! You fucked up! So they shot at each other for three hours and then the army finally retreated. More than a dozen of Patiss's men had been injured or killed, but the rebels lost no one. Wow. So now they agree to let Morgan teach them how to fight

because they think he's hot shit. And so he instructed them in guerrilla warfare, which I don't understand how he knew this or if he was just making it up. It probably was like circus based. He probably put on like a guerrilla outfit and he was like, then you just are like, don't think you're much stronger.

You can lift 200 times your weight, you know what I mean? We are all vegetarian. They learned judo, they learned how to breathe underwater using a hollow reed. Oh man, I didn't know if there was more coming. So breathing underwater, gentlemen. This one's pretty difficult.

We're gonna need to pull the Castro and put holes in our necks. So, that's how you gill it out. Morgan finally learned Spanish. Finally. This is gonna be very helpful, I think, when we're game planning. Don't be a star, el español.

Where is Spain? The Spain? Tortuga. You understand? No. Yeah, the Biblioteca. Yeah, library. Oh, Spanish. Yeah, I need to go to toilet. Okay. Yeah, I ate too much Tortuga. Okay. You understand? Yeah. I mean, every other word you say is Tortuga. And that's the sweet spot. We need to kind of get... Move! You fucked up! I didn't... Listen to me next time! Again, you just kept saying turtle! Yeah! Slow! Idiot. What, us? Yeah! You're out of your fucking mind.

You're gonna get us killed. It's like being in the jungle at door of the Explorer. Who? This is the 50s, probably. Oh, you'll see. Oh. Uh, so he rises to the ranks very quickly and eventually is promoted to commandante, which is the most senior position.

Sure. And this was noticed. A Cuban radio station said there was a Yankee fighting for the liberty of Cuba. Nice. And the CIA, FBI, State Department, Army, and Secret Service were all trying to figure out who in the fuck this guy was. Where'd he come from? Up until now, there's no evidence that any of the rebels are communists.

But J. Edgar Hoover is very upset about communists. And so just the idea that rebels could be communist is fucking bad. It's good enough. Right. Yeah, it could be. So he wants to know the white guy is. Is he KGB? He comes to the Soviet Union. And the FBI are investigating the Morgan small army. So they're known as the Iskambri rebels. They were also called the Phantoms of the Mountains. And he and Manoio became like brothers. Ellen, the wife. The brief life. The one that he, what was she, a sword?

He was a swordswallower. She was a snake charmer. Snake charmer, right. So she now files for a divorce because he's just fucking gone. Oh, right, yeah. But we need to serve him papers. It's not gonna be easy.

Hello, holy shit. Your wife is done. I was bitten by a snake a little while ago. Oh, that's the throat. So the New York Times figures out who he is and they publish an article about the adventurous American William Morgan. Then other people's pick, other papers pick it up around the country so it's a big story right? This guy's up with the rebels in Cuba. And this leads to the

Batista regime putting a $20,000 bounty on William's head. Wow, okay. Now, amongst the rebels, there's different ideological factions. So, Morgan and... Always the problem. They can't get on the same page. Here we go. Oh, the leftists hate each other. So, Morgan and Minoyos group, the Ascombre rebels, want like a western style democracy.

Raul Castro and Che Guevara are communists. And Fidel leans more towards these guys and more away from the communism. He's more about a western democracy style thing. Fidel said, quote, I have never been, nor am I now a communist. If I were, I would have sufficient courage to proclaim it. Yeah, which makes a lot of sense. Yeah, but you would say you were. Yeah, you'd say what you were,

if you were like leading a rebel, you know. But Hoover was like, bullshit! Come on! Lay out the commies! Why are you living in the mountains if you're not a commie? Come on! Why are you living in the mountains if you're not a commie? In the spring of 1958, the first woman joined the Isgambre rebels. To me, that's like Smurfetti in a way. I think it's great for sure, but it's also just like, hello, and they're all like, ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm handy. Easy. I'm Papa Smurf. I lead the rebels. I'm corn maker Cleveland Smurf. He's supposed to stay in the tree. We actually asked him to not come down at all. Did you say take my shirt off?

I did. Not say anything near that. That's why you live in the tree. I'm sorry, I'm just going to hold onto this tree. My guns. He means his biceps. We have plenty of actual firearms. Well, it's time to turn in.

Stop. Doing that. I did not notice you were a lady. Hola. Esta la biblioteca? I don't speak Spanish. Hello. I don't speak English either. Muah, queso.

I think I like what Batista is saying a little bit more than when I came in here. Take care. Take care of what? Bye. Hello. Hey, I'm going to talk to you because the vibe over there is horrible. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, I'm gonna talk to you because the vibe over there is horrible Do you know what I mean? Yeah Welcome to the rebels. Goodbye. I'm really I

Mean there's but what okay, whatever I would just imagine that this would I mean I guess I'm just used to I mean you're up in the mountains Yeah, and Relatively hot lady up. Yeah, I'm saying. Like it's fucking... Yeah, I would imagine it would turn pretty bro-y real fast, you know? Yeah, I mean if you're going there not to experience... He always bellishes. Do you like abs? You know, he's just like Jesus, dude, stop.

We have her like this is a fundamental revolution here. Like I know, but I'm just saying we have a lot in common. You just met her. I love tying shoelaces on my shirts too. That's so great to me. Her name is Olga Rodriguez. What is her first name? Olga Rodriguez. Olga, okay, sure.

Minoio's like no hanky panky, like there's no sex between soldiers, right? They off for bitten right for sure and that always works for sure. Yep. Yep She was wanted by the secret police and so she'd come up to hide and fight. You know what? I have in common with the secret police. I also want you Hi Down to clown if you know what I'm saying. No, I don't. I don't know what that means. When she first met Morgan, he quote, arrived at the camp literally riding a white horse. See,

this is fuck. This is how you fucking do it, right? That's an advantage. Oh, hello, he probably knew. He saw, he was like, give me the white horse. El blanco, el blanco. Oh, hello, coconut. I was just under the waterfall shimmering. I ran out of soap to wash my enormous. Anyway, listen, I wanna, I ran out of soap to wash my enormous anyway listen I want to we're here for work only I'd like to get to know you on a profession you know what I mean like that yeah exactly

yeah yeah white horse yep she said she felt her heart go boom, boom, boom. It took a shit. Now, romance obviously very hard under the circumstances, so they kind of tried to, you know... Brave hearted a little bit. Brave hearted a little bit. Yeah. In September 1958, the Cuban military put out a press release saying they had killed Morgan and they released a photo of a blood smeared corpse.

You can tell because the head exploded. I don't know, we killed a white guy in the forest. Nicely refreshing, right? They all look the same. I'm obviously, his mother is devastated, but then a few weeks later she gets a letter from Morgan saying, he's not dead. Oh. And then to many Cubans, this was like he, you know, he came back to life and he like became

legendary. Nice. Because it's like, so Che Guevara came to the Escambre camp. Okay. And they now, they now number over a thousand. So more and more people are coming up all the time because Batista is such a fucking piece of shit right and they're thinking about now just leaving the jungle and fighting openly because they have so many people okay so Guevara had been sent by Fidel to sort of take control of the

escombray rebels mm-hmm he was worried because Fidel's worried they might threaten his leadership. And there's an ideological divide. But they're again, they're all rebels working to take down. But they don't like taking orders from a new guy, Che. Also, Morgan and Che Guevara don't trust each other. Probably because of the ideological differences, because Che's a fucking hardcore communist. So in November, Manoé learned that Morgan and Olga are getting it on. And he's really pissed.

He's like a commandante and he's breaking the rules. So he suspends him for two weeks. How does it even work in the jungle? Go to your leaf! You must go to your hammock! Yeah, so he's like... I can still see you. Would you like rice?

This is really awkward. Okay. So they're about to have a big push against Batista, and so he's all panicked that he's gonna miss it because he's... Morgan is, because he's suspended for fucking. He's suspended. Great reason to be suspended. So him and Olga get married.

In the jungle? By who? I don't know. Who married him? I'm sure there's a boat captain. Some guy's just like, you're married. They sure there's a boat captain. Somebody. Some guy's just like, you're married. He flagged on a cruise liner.

Hello. The love boat. Some guy's just like, I did it online. I'm a reverend now. So right after they got married, quote, after the ceremony, Morgan picked up his gun and returned to battle. By the way, this isn't working out.

Let's annull this. I only married you. I want to see other people. You're tying me down! So in December, Guavares soldiers won a victory in Santa Clara province, and Morgan's men were just seizing towns on the way to Havana and Batista basically lost control. And on New Year's Day, 1959, Batista flees to the Dominican Republic.

Now, Morgan hears this while he's getting ready to invade Sinefuegos, and instead of a battle, thousands of people are on the street celebrating, quote, the crowds greeted Morgan with shouts of americano. So that actually happened. The last time they liked an American. That's what people thought would happen with Iraq, but that actually happens when you're fighting with a common... Oh, no, that happened in Iraq. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. That happened in Iraq? Yeah, yeah. Remember, it all worked out great. Iraq? Yeah! The George Bush thing. Yeah, best president of my life, Tim. Yeah, he found the weapons of mass destruction, we liberated the people, and everything's been good ever since. USA, USA, number one. These colors don't run USA. Come on baby. We did it. Spread

democracy. What the fuck was that? You throwing dice? That's how you spread democracy? Yeah baby took the Saddam statue down. It's over Jack. Fucking negative asshole. What? Celebrate. It was a shit show. It was and then we came in and put a boot up his ass. What? Stars and Mars. Woo! Name a better country that doesn't start with a U.

Um... No! Norway? Knock it off! Denmark? Stop! Pussies! Losers! Finland? Woo! Um, no Norway knock it off dead marks stop Pussies losers Finland France come on jack spain we showed them we found the weapons of mass destruction

In the north the west the ace the south there were no there. Oh stop it Come on Move on what the fuck did you just do working up an American lather? Yeah, he gets it This would be the worst podcast ever if I had to do it with a right wing gun. Number one. This podcast would be fucking amazing with a Toby Keefe type. Bullshit liar! Dumbass! Next! That's what it's going to be when fascism comes. They're going to split us up. Stupid! You don't know anything. You're going to have to listen to Bill Martell's stories. Listen. And I'm going have to tell him to Adam Carolla.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

That would be a Bill Maher Adam Carolla podcast. Let's go. OK, excuse me for a second. I don't know about this guy, Bill. I don't worry about him, Bill. Enough, Adam. I was in the middle of a rant. Stop already. All right, anyway, you were saying best president of your lifetime. Yeah. So, when Morgan came into Sanofuegos, he was wearing a rebel flag like a cape.

Well, he's got experience. Yeah. He's like, I've been wearing this for a while. Nobody gave a shit. Just throwin' knives. The mayor happily hands over power of the town to Morgan, who- Here you go! Yay!

It's yours! He was named military chief and temporarily put in control until a new government was established. On January 6th, Fidel visited Cinefuegos on his way to Havana, and it was an important stop to unify the rebel groups. So Morgan and Fidel meet here and they talk, and Morgan has a lot of faith in Fidel. Like he thinks, you know, this is a guy you can trust. Now the US is debating whether or not to support this new Cuban leadership. Right, because they didn't put it in power, so that's a tough pickle.

And also they're not like... But if they did, man, would they pick them? Woo! We know the best ones, man! And then they're not killing like poor people, so... Yeah, it's difficult. Yeah. Totally agree, man.

Finally, we're aligned. But really all they care about is one thing, is he a communist. Right. And Fidel keeps saying he's not a communist or an authoritarian. Sounds like something a communist might say. And he keeps promising elections in 18 months

and declaring quote, we cannot become dictators. Hoover however, decides Fidel is absolutely a communist. Nice, good, decides Fidel is absolutely a communist. Nice. Good. Intelligence. The CIA decides to wait and see what he does. What a weird time. Yeah, right? Cuba was, quote, crawling with hundreds of CIA and FBI agents and informers. I mean, they, but they, you must have been able to tell to some extent.

Who was a CIA? Yeah. Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it is big. But they you must have been able to tell to some extent who was a CIA yeah Yeah, I think so yeah, yeah, or we could just maybe go with like a Western style democracy. What are you? Maybe we just give the United States a bunch of our resources well that would be an amazing idea Yeah, we should this guy gets it Olga gets pregnant. How? Morgan. Corn?

Corn. Cleveland corn. Oh, Cleveland corn. I mean, is there more? This is a perfect fetish episode for you. Yeah. Yep. Yep. They catered it to me specifically. Morgan told the reporter, quote, all I am interested in is settling down to a nice,

peaceful existence. Okay. So he's got his wife, he's got a kid on the way, he's like, I just want to have a nice, a life thing. Yeah, a nice thing. thing. Right. So we all want David. Now Fidel executed hundreds of Batista soldiers. Okay, I hope that he put the nuts in the mouth, that would be the move. That's one of those, okay. Because if you leave the bad soldiers around, they usually end up doing bad shit. A trial in a sports city was broadcast on US TV and radio. He did not offer any positions of power to any of the escombray rebels. Interesting.

Including Minoyo. Okay. So basically, you know, Minoyo is like the leader of the other group, and he doesn't want him challenging for the leadership. Okay. Right? So they're not giving him any power at all. This causes a lot of resentment. Morgan was at this point overheard criticizing the regime. But still Morgan and Minoio considered doing a goodwill U.S. tour to sell Fidel and the rebel cause to Americans. Go to the estates and be like, hey, we'll do our part.

In April Fidel went to D.C., Eisenhower will not meet with him, but he is greeted by just huge crowds of cheering Americans. Morgan had no problem stating that he was worried about communist influences, okay? And the mob then hears this and they reach out to Morgan, to meet with them, okay? They're very worried Fidel is gonna shut down the casinos and other operations. They have going on there. They were correct Oh, wow, okay, Fidel quote. We are not only disposed to deport the gangsters, but to shoot them nice

Again, I don't this is okay. That's your game if you're a mobster. That's the game you play. There's what we do, right? So mobster Frank Nelson offered Morgan a million dollars for his services. Morgan was confused about what that meant. Sorry. You need to wash the trunk? What are we talking about? Is this like I put on the clown outfit? A million dollars. that's what I'm offering. Okay, okay, what, what, everything is on the table. We might need to do some drastic things. It might get dirty, but hopefully you'll help me out if you know what I'm saying. Yeah, I mean.

Finish, finish the. Finish the mission. The mission. That's right, get it done. Get it done. Yeah, do it. What am I doing? Finishing. What am I fitting?

Helping along. Inching closer and closer. To the. Culmination. The time when it's done and you know it. And no matter what happens, it's fine. The situation is tenuous. It's tenuous. Yeah, you're going to have to get your hands dirty. Okay. A lot of them. A lot of hands? Yeah. We might need two or three men to help us out, the finish. And I want to be the first one to know when it's done.

And I will. You'll do everything you can. Oh, all right. What will I do? Everything. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what's going on.

I'm gonna put a sheet with a hole around myself. What just happened? Exactly. That's how we used to wash the elephants. And that's what I'm after. I want to be clean. Jesus Christ. Did someone just fire a gun?

So Morgan still doesn't know what the million dollars is for, but he agrees to go to a meeting in Miami. It turns out the man behind this all was Rafael Trujillo, who is the murderous Dominican Republican dictator. So remember, that's where Batista fled to the Dominican Republic. So Trujillo wants Castro assassinated because he's worried the Cuban Revolution might spread to other Latin American countries. Then the poor people are fine.

Like what we did with Iraq in the Middle East. And Batista's there, he's living there. He's helping to fund it. So at the Miami meeting is a Dominican Republic consul, a Batista security chief and and gangster Dominic Bartone who Morgan knows from previously. And they tell him, we have million dollars to kill Fidel. So he goes back and discusses it with Minoio. Remember Minoio is now upset that he's on the outside? Yeah. So they send word that they would help take out Castro. And Morgan and Olga

move into a new house in Havana and they're getting regular visits from a priest who is actually a Traheal messenger just bringing sacks of cash. Okay, the Lord hath blessed ye. His bounty is great! This is crazy. Morgan broke a former Batista officer out of prison to help join the plot. Get out of here! Oh, tiny guard! God damn it! They just need to find one guard. Ha!

They can't be pushed over. You know, it seems like we might need to get bigger guards. They're really shove-able. I don't know they push me and then I don't know what to do. Well, I fell down pretty quickly when he shoved me and then I gave him my keys because he threatened to shove me again. Double shove-up. You see, double shoved.

The threat was great. Now I work at Vaughns. What? I'm at Savon now. I keep an eye on people in the pharmacy area. You're sure? Yeah! But also I don't stop them when they do stuff. I'm 90 and a little man. A little. Very small. That's my advantage. I can hide behind the scanners. Okay. But when they want to leave, I just let them.

Yeah, but you're a security guard. Well, yeah. But don't say it too loud. So tired. Sometimes I sleep behind the bounty on the shelves. Some are like a store elf. Well, in many ways I'm elf-y. I'm sleeping now. I don't want to talk. So the FBI is now tracking Morgan's visits to Miami. OK. Castro announces the no peasant without land policy

and begins dividing up large landowners' properties into smaller land personals and now the anti-communist people go fucking ballistic. So now Ben Shapiro's losing his mind. And really, retroactively, I'm so furious at Castro for this one. Unbelievable. Good lord. Pinch it off. And the female orgasm is as big of a myth as communism. Christ. Oh, that got that tweet when he said like women

don't get wet or something. They don't. They can't. Look. Have you ever heard of a woman getting wet? A wap, honestly, a wap, that's crazy. That's the sound the maids mop makes. That's it. Now, in my house, it's a dap. Yeah, that's absolutely right. I actually believe in anti-coming. Good Lord, it's disgusting.

On July 27th, 1959, Morgan went to Miami with Olga, who was eight months pregnant, and FBI agents confronted them and interrogated him. And eventually he admits to the plot. We'd like to talk to the baby too, even though it's unborn. You dirty little baby. You little commie baby. So he admits to the plot,

but he's not saying who any of his contacts are. He's like, I'm not gonna tell you who these people are. So the FBI lets them go, but they trail him. Hoover called Morgan quote a wild gangster type. On July 31st, Morgan went to the FBI and said Olga is going back to Cuba and he's going to follow in two days. But then he immediately vanished. They don't know where he went. A week later, Morgan is on an unregistered boat with machine guns, explosives, and other weapons. Okay, sure.

On a five hour...the plan... That's what was three, but... Is it three? Yeah. Whatever, so it's a couple years later now. Nobody does five hour tours. The Skipper? You think he had a five hour tour in him? Dream on, baby. Anyway, we're old. So the plan was

to assassinate either both Castro brothers or one. Quote, a strike force of nearly a thousand Cuban exiles and mercenaries would be transported by plane from a base in the Dominican Republic to Trinidad, a colonial town at the foot of the Escombray Mountains, and once those forces landed they would be led by Morgan. On August 12th, Morgan and Monoio took Trinidad, and Trujillo air-dropped crates of weapons. The next night he sent his strike force to Cuba, and as the soldiers arrived, counter-revolutionaries chanted,

death to Castro, louder and louder. Okay. And they kept chanting until Fidel stepped out from behind a mango tree. Morgan had been telling Fidel everything the whole time. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.

Oh death too, hello. Our death too. Hello. This is awkward. Gosh, look at the mangoes. Well, fuck me. Hello there. Tortuga. Tortuga.

And then the shooting started. Tuga? Tuga. And then the shooting started. Fidel would later explain what happened in a five hour televised speech. Oh Jesus Christ, you're like, oh what is the, oh God, let it go. We had dinner plans, what's going on? Followed by! I thought this was a three hour speech.

No, no, no. Nice. three-hour speech. No, no, no. Nice. Quote, everyone played his assigned parts. It was better than a movie. Morgan was standing right beside him, proud and smiling, and Fidel called him a Cuban.

Morgan called Fidel his faithful friend. My faithful friend. So Hoover is fucking pissed. Uh-huh. And he has Morgan's US citizenship stripped. Well, who the, I mean, but would you give a fuck? Well, if you're Hoover, yeah. Yeah, you would, but if you're Morgan, you're like,

all right, cool, yeah, how about I live in the land where I'm a king? Okay, I can't go to Miami oh damn for lauderdales off limits shit you're telling me I can't go back to Orlando well he he did want to move back to Toledo with his wife, so he was upset that he lost to him. I mean, it's the greatest. Who wouldn't want to go leave the Cuban kingship to go to Toledo? Sharon Cuba and the king, but I could back groceries in Toledo for eleven.

People were booing. You realize that's just an indictment of you. Fuck him! That's one thing I love about the midway. I'd be like, in Wisconsin, you'd be like, I'm from Milwaukee. People in Madison would be like, so you're a fucking idiot? You're like, at the same state. Uh, like two hours apart. Wisconsin, Illinois, you'd be like, Illinois, should we kill him?

You'd be like, well, let's let him live. He seems fine. Similar values, I'd say. Bullshit, traitor. He works for Castro. Well, he did try to, at first he was like, I'm going to fight for my citizenship back. Because legally they couldn't take it away

because you have to be paid by, you have to be a paid soldier of another government's army. You can be a mercenary. Can you imagine this story now? It would end so much earlier with this dude in jail and we'd be like, whatever happened to Morgan? Oh, we jailed him 20 years ago and now he's rotting and maybe dead. He's unguantanamo.

Yeah, exactly, yeah. He eventually, like a month later, the Cuban government without a press release just said he is going to become a Cuban citizen. And a couple days later, he was like, yep, I'm going to become a Cuban citizen. 100% the move. That's what happened. They made him a Cuban citizen. So Trujillo put out a $500,000 bounty on Morgan's head. Wow. Because of the betrayal. So good. The press reported he was a hero and a legend in Cuba. He's still against communism. This is kind of strange. Quote, communism breeds on ignorance and poverty and the first thing that the revolution is doing is creating schools and creating jobs and creating homes and giving people

land in which they can increase their income. Wait, that's more than that. And what is it, does someone take the mic from him halfway through? Communism is doing to everybody, he's loving it. No, he's, it's not communism right now, he's just saying it's not communism. Right, oh okay, right. They're still discussing what they're going to become. They're high, okay, gotcha.

And he's saying look, they're creating jobs and stuff,, it's, this is what we do. It's fine. Yeah, it's going well. So Olga has a daughter, Morgan says he doesn't, so this, I got two different versions of this. Morgan says he doesn't want a government position. Instead, he did what anyone else would do at this point, being a hero, and he started bullfrog farms. Yep, for sure. Yeah. It's the natural transition. Yeah, no. Okay, so obviously he did, yeah, okay, next part of the story.

We're ready? Yeah, he obviously, yeah, he knew what he won as far as that goes, and then so he opened up a farm of bullfrogs. Yep. Yep. No... problem there. He, so the different versions are, is it Fidel like put him there as like, you know, because he's one of those combray rebels like, sure.

But I would, yeah. Put him like, like, you know, put him at a distance. We need you to lead the army of bullfrogs. Sir, I take this job very seriously. But I still think he would just be like, I mean, at that point, you'd be like, yeah, for sure. I'm just so down to retire. Well, that's the thing is that's the other version. We need you to watch the cabbage. Yes, sir, I take this job seriously. Yeah, I think that's probably what it was. The Bullfrogs farms are a huge success. They help 2,000 rural people with jobs,

and they provide food. Right, okay. As long as we keep an eye on the Tortuga Rebels. On July 31st, 1960, they had another daughter. He wanted to be a better father to these kids because he had, you know, abandoned. Because he was the worst father ever to the other one? The bar's pretty low.

I'm gonna be a better father to these children than the one that I totally abandoned as soon as it was born. Ones. Ones, right, yeah, ones, right. He had one with a Japanese woman. He had two other ones with a woman in Florida, the snake handler.

Right, yeah, right. So, shouldn't have handled that. So he's like, I should be a really good dad to these puns. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be really good. I'm gonna stick around until they're one and take off and I'll be so much better than I was with the other ones. So he is, he's working on his bullfrog farms, he's a family man, he's very happy and secure. But he was getting more and more uncomfortable

with the new Cuban regime. Okay. Roel Castro is in charge of the military. Che Guevara is in charge of the national bank, which he's trying to nationalize. Quote on October 19th, Huber Matos, a heralded rebel commander, resigned from the government,

protesting the growing influence of communists. In a letter to Fidel Castro, he wrote, please, in the names of our fallen comrades, of our mothers, of all the people Fidel, do not bury the revolution. Two days later, he was arrested. Nice. And sentenced to 20 years in prison. Geez. Now the White House is starting to plot toppling Fidel, with a plan that is really similar to Trajillo's plan to take out Fidel. Okay. And the CIA is plotting assassinations

and they're recruiting mobsters to do them. Sure. Crazy ideas like quote, blowing Castro's head off with an exploding cigar. What the fuck? They're like, we're gonna mark's brothers in. Yeah, that came from the clown idea. Oh, the clown, right.

Yeah, what would a clown bouncer do? You shake his hand, it goes, then you give him the seagull. It'll be perfect. Jabbing him with a poison-filled paper pen? Paper bait pen? And contaminating a diving suit with tuberculosis germs? Well, what do you say we go diving?

Hmm? Am I the only one who's got the suit cough? Got a bit of scuba throat? Hey, Frank. Yeah. did we forget about guns? Well, I mean we want to use guns, but it's pretty obvious. I think slowly killing him with tuberculosis and a scuba soup would be pretty good. It'll take a while for him to... Yeah, yeah, of course, but we also might put Giardia on his boat.

That'll be a good one too. Okay. You know what I mean? Smallpox on his blankets. We've got a history. Oh my God, that worked. We've got a history. That worked.

Pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. And then also, obviously. I got an idea. Yeah. He trips, he falls into a guillotine, he accidentally hits the rope.

Yeah, that's pretty good. Put a banana in front of it. That's nice. Scooby-Doo him. I love that. So he comes out of his house in the morning, there's a bunch of banana peels, and then a guillotine. Yeah. Or what if we just, um, just, uh, punched his head off. Yeah, we could do that. Yeah, yeah.

Or we just teagle him. What? I don't know. I'm just three kids in a trench coat. Yeah. Shit. Why the fuck have I been talking to you about this for an hour? Maybe we go poopy in him.

Think about it. Yeah? Yeah, okay. Let's get beer. No. Tortuga? No, no, no, no. Um, Morgan's, uh, really? Maybe we have him have sex with a dry AP.

And then he gets stuck in it, as I have many times during coitus. You know, when you need to call the janitor in to help you, and he just kind of squirts some lube on it? We've all been there. Oh. Yeah, when you dry the wife. DTdubs.

When I fuck, I just hear a scratching sound. Yeah. Huck. Huck. Write a song about that. Everybody'd be hipping and hopping to it. So Morgan's relationship with Fidel is faded. It's getting bad.

Sure. He kicked some communists off his farm when they tried to have a meeting there. A friend warned him that he was talking too much. And they had to live in bodyguards, but Olga started to think they were government spies. That's so easy to like. And she wanted them gone, but Morgant didn't want it to. He was disloyal, so he just kept farming his frogs. He heard that a rebel friend had been arrested, one of the escombray for anti-regime stuff. So Morgan races to the prison and demands his release.

And he points at his military, you know, star or whatever and and says I'm a common Dante and so they release him. Okay. But now Morgan's in some shit. Right. For doing that? Yeah. Yeah. And he considers applying for asylum and getting the fuck out with his family but he doesn't know what country they go to because he's no longer American so he doesn't know what country they go to because he's no longer American. So he doesn't know how long he's going to last at this point. On October 19th, he was called to a meeting and he was arrested. So Olga was right.

The bodyguards were spiced. And he was interrogated but said he would only talk to Fidel. And he spends a month in solitary. Wow. He gets very sick. He would regularly find ground up glass in his food. But that's just a seasoning. Yeah, right, for sure.

That's prison salt. Yeah, prison salt. Minoyo and 12 others are planning a rebellion and they flee to America. Olga was put under house arrest. They, she and the kids hardly had any food or water. She's allowed to visit Morgan October 31st and he says, get out, go, go to my... Happy Halloween.

What are you going to be this year? A Tortuga. What are the kids going to be? Little tortugas. Oh man, awesome. They're putting glass in my food. Trick. What?

Okay. Treat. Okay. Alright, and I'm gonna go because this is getting a little midnight express. Move. And I'm gonna go because this is getting a little midnight express. Mo. So he tells her, you know, flee to America and go to my parents. That night she crushes sleeping pills into hot chocolate and gives it to the guards, who are clearly fucking idiots. The fucking greatest!

And they drink it and fall asleep. I suppose we could do another hot cocoa? Sure. I'll tell you though, I get pooped. I really, ah! Those marshmallows are a little crunchy. Are they not? I like that it made you yawn. Yeah. Did. So she runs, then runs to the Brazilian embassy with the kids and they give her refuge. On March 9th, 1961, Morgan has a military trial with 11 others, charged with treason and conspiracy.

Olga has put on trial in absentia. And the head of Cuban counterintelligence, claimed Morgan, quote, had been a long time American intelligence operative, who in 1960 had attempted to organize for the CIA a band of counter revolutionaries in Escombre. So he's now being accused of being a triple agent. Right, yeah, right.

A fellow prisoner quote, not even the most zealous of the young rebels believed that Fidel Castro would shoot these two men who had played such a big role in the Cuban Revolution. So they're talking about the guy he broke out of prison also. Right. Morgan said at the trial,

I have defended this revolution because I believed in it. If I am found guilty, I will walk to the execution wall with no escort, with moral strength, and with a clear conscience. Most of the defendants got 30 years, Morden and his buddy got death. Shit. He's not allowed to speak to Olga or his mother. He did write them long letters. His mom is in a panic. She tries to save save him she calls the FBI and the White House oh yeah they're like oh yeah we're right on top of that mess top priority

they said hold on we'll call them right now yeah they said no so damn tried to okey dokey they said quote we fully tried too. Ookey dookey. Um, they said, quote, we fully understand and deeply sympathize with your anxiety for your son and then did nothing. Yeah. Uh-huh. Ogan, a small group, planned to break Morgan out of prison, but the plot was discovered. They got bigger guards. The, she took refuge in a safe house in Santa Clara and on March 11th Morgan was brought in front of a firing squad No fucking way the commander told them to kneel and beg for your life and Morgan refused so they shot both his knees Fuck now I can't kneel what the fuck were you thinking?

Well, now your only option is to kneel. You're like not by choice! So his death was apparently very brutal. The fuck? On March 12th Olga was arrested. She did not know Morgan was dead. It's the next day until a soldier called her William Morgan's widow. Don't go in there. That's for Morgan Williams' widow! Like, no. Well, I mean, that guy probably wasn't, like, even then they were like, dumbass.

Yeah, they probably didn't mean to. She was taken to a prison in Beaton. Jesus Christ. A month later, new US president, JFK, enacted Eisenhower's plan, but moved it to the Bay of Pigs. Yeah, right. It went really well, pretty much like Traheo's plan went. And now the two countries are the closest of our life. Fidel announced, so all the while Fidel was like going and talking to the U.S. saying he's not a communist, he was also meeting with the Soviet Union

Right, right He announced Cuba was officially a socialist country. He tightened his grip on power Manoio tried to overthrow Fidel, but he was caught and imprisoned Olga spent a decade in prison refusing to go to Rehabilitation classes on communism. She was tortured, beaten, and kept in solitary confinement. Her daughters were raised by her parents in Cuba and were told by teachers that their parents were traders. Morgan's mom campaigned to have Olga released even though they never met.

And in 1971, she was released early and tried to get her family back together. In 1980, she got to the US by boat and told immigration officials who she was and flew to Toledo. Loretta said, quote, I can see why my son loved you so. Now you like Toledo, don't you, you fuckers? What's the place of reunions? It's so nice. Declassified US documents show that William Morgan was never

a CIA operative. Yeah. Shocker. Shocker. Seemed like he was the whole time. Yeah. So much for this, the Yankee Commandante by David Gran and the Americano fighting with Castro's Castro for Cuba's freedom by Aaron Shetterly. Charlotte George to the research on

that. She's Australian. Yeah, that's right. We hung out. She's gonna have a film coming out soon, which I will tell you about. She's a director and a screenwriter. And oh, she just sent me a new script that is going to be fucking juicy. We're doing it in Toledo. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Mm. Controversy. Wow. The hate between your two cities. Is it not time to fight? Have you learned nothing from this story? We're stronger together.

Kill them. No, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave, Dave! It is time to kill Toledoans. And if there are any people from Toledo in this room, tonight we rampage at Cleveland! We will live like kings at Cleveland. What a fucking depressing ending. Yeah, I mean.

I mean, you hate to see a ginger go down like that. I know. Great ginger stories in American history. I think when you look back, it really was gingers who were at every precipice of revolution and change. Ah. The only thing they can't beat is that damn sun. That burning star, just.

Thank God. Gets ya, it really gets ya. Yeah. You know, once or twice a year, you wear a tank top out like a normal human and it's bacon time. You say tank top like a normal human and it's bacon time. You say tank top like a normal human? Yeah, yeah mid-drift something like that.

You know what I mean? You go out. You say tank top. Yeah, wash the car. You give the car a little. Normal human is a problem. Yeah, yeah. Like we're just like, you know,

we're like every other regular man. We wear a mid-drift tank top and we're washing the car in the fucking driveway. You know, soaping it up, lathering the jorts, getting it fucking, you know, done. A lot of times I don't even use a sponge. I treat myself as the human sponge.

I dunk myself in the bucket and roll around the car for a little while, slow-mo style. Put on a little fucking van halen, you know what I mean? See if I can rip those shorts the old fashioned way. Do you have any friends? No, I thought I had you but that question tells me you're taking yourself out of the equation. Yeah. It's tough. Go Toledo. Thank you so much Cleveland. We appreciate you. Appreciate it. Thank you very much. Godspeed. Yeah, yeah.

And we're also brought to you in part by Airbnb. Dave, I love staying at Airbnb's. I've told you this before, my buddies and I get together twice a year and we always find some amazing spots via Airbnb. So, the other thing is maybe you've stayed in an Airbnb before and you've thought to yourself, this actually seems pretty doable. Maybe my place could be in Airbnb.

Well, it could be as simple as starting with a spare room or your whole place when you're away. You could be sitting on an Airbnb and not even know it. Or maybe you wanna go somewhere warm over the winter and while you're away, you could Airbnb your home, make some extra money. Whether you could use the extra money to cover some bills or for something a little more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. So find out how much at airbnb.ca.