The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 622 - John Hurty - Live

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine public health pioneer John Hurty.  Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace Rocket Money

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but I don't appreciate being called a sexy naughty boy. Also, Rocket Money, look, they find on you, like subscriptions you're no longer using. You go, oh my god, what am I doing? I don't want that, and then you get rid of it. It also sometimes is just, it's good to see everything. Why do I have a subscription to Naughty Boy? Stop it. Sometimes it's just good to see all the things you're paying for and go,

oh, okay. So, Rocket Money finds the... I can't even focus. Okay. I'll do it. Rocket Money is a private finance app that finds and cancels your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills. I can tell you something the Rocket Money just did for me.

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Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash dollop. That's rocketmoney.com slash dollop. Rocketmoney.com slash dollop. Yeah! All right, no. No. No.

We've been through this. It's becoming stupid. It's not. It is. It's not on the flyer. It's on the flyer. No, it's crossed out up there. No, shut the fuck up, sir.

The fuck. You can still see it. It's crossed out, but it's in blue. Well, you're fucking late, aren't you? What's in the bag, sir? What's in the bag? What is it? It's Burmese food. You brought Burmese food to the front row of the show tonight? The f- Are you gonna be eating Burmese up front?

What the fuck is happening? No. I'm walking back to the van at a gas station. Things are good for us. Gareth is walking around the van, and he takes a boiled egg out of his pocket. and he takes a boiled egg out of his pocket, his pants pocket, and cracks it on the bumper of the van. A cracking station. And he acts like it's normal.

Crack zone, yeah. When I just said that's the craziest fucking thing that you've ever done, and he goes, no, it's still normal. It's not normal that you had an done and he goes, no, it's totally normal. It's not normal that you had an egg in your pocket because you flew on a plane. I'll get you the egg in your pocket. No, not the whole flight. Come on. That's crazy. No, no, no. I got the egg after the flight in the van. From a guy. Oh, so. You're listening to the dollop! This is an American History podcast for each week I,

Labradoodle Daddy. Yeah! We're of Red Wing Boots. Man with a left. You're right in the middle of your intro. She's like, this is the worst part of the show. She stayed in the room when I ate someone's leftover Burmese. And the second you started the show with your credits, that woman left.

That cannot feel good for you, sir. Man with well-trimmed pubic hair, Dave Anthony... ...reads a story from American history to his valet. Hey, Garith Reynolds, who has no idea what the topic is going to be about. Have you freshly trimmed your pubes? Are you bragging about that? That can't be happening a lot. You've been married for a long time. You still trim your pe- It's not like you're like,

Oh, I'm married now. Go fuck yourself. I picture your pubes like your hair. That's what I just picture down there. And the glasses. Well, I was- Like a little professor wiener. I will show you later.

Let me tell you about the cum that's about to leave. You know, stuff like that. So everybody heard this. Gareth has requested to see my genitals in the van tomorrow. Yes. You can see my genitals in the van tomorrow. February 1852! I don't know why I don't have the exact date. It's very odd. But that's what I did. Sure. Why don't you just say the ninth?

Sure. The ninth. John Hurti was born in Lebanon, Ohio to Josiah and Anne Hurti. His father was a school teacher and super attentive. That guy was a teacher! Yeah, can you believe it? Oh, shit. Josiah had a very, very strong opinions about cleanliness and health. Uh-oh, there's a seed. He kept his classrooms very clean. He wanted his students clean, which upset parents.

Students clean! Yeah, that made parents mad. Come here. Let me wipe you down a little bit. It's so filthy. You're all filthy. We're gonna hose you off. There you are. There you go. It's a good boy. More clean. There you go. Next. John said his father was ridiculed and received a lot of abuse. His dad did? Yeah, his dad got a lot of abuse because he wanted the kids clean and parents didn't believe in baths back there

Okay, so they got mad. Oh, they didn't believe in baths Josiah was very energetic and intense. This is dad Yeah, he would get lost in his thoughts and he'd go for walks. He walked really fast Often talking to himself so engrossed in his thoughts that he ignored everybody else. So there's something going on there. So it seems normal, right? Yeah, I know, it's a problem, man. Like, there'd be a diagnosis now. He said they're like, he just loves the thinking shout. He also, quote, was considered a crank.

For instance, he insisted on having a bath every day. What the fuck? That's not crazy. That's English. It's English? Yeah. Love a bath. Not back then they didn't. No, they were the dirtiest people on earth.

Now they love a bath? Oh yeah. Yeah. Love a bath. I love the little English facts you drop in on the podcast. It feels like you're the only one. Well I was being sarcastic. Well, we just lost our one number.

Our ratings have plummeted. One night Josiah was in a hotel and he really believed in the power of fresh air so he tried to open the window but it was sealed shut so he broke the glass and went back to bed. Upon waking up, he discovered he had broken the glass door in the bookcase. Did that not work? It did not. It did not. It's interesting. Josiah moved from job to job quite a bit and when John was 14 they moved to Paris, Illinois

and one day as he was walking to school a neighbor, Colonel Eli Lilly. Even I've heard of this guy. And that's where it ends. Colonel Eli Lilly yelled for John to come into his house. Easy miss. She just got so turnt she was like, ow. Well, this story is turnt. This ends in men porking. Lilly was a pharmacist and he wanted an apprentice. John was very excited by the prospect.

And the money, $3 a week. Oh no. What the fuck? We're going back in? Back in what? He's going back in from where? Nothing. Keep going. Are you in the same story?

No, this is two ago. So he apprentices in the Binford and Lilly Redd front drug store. And at 16, he goes to the Philadelphia College of Pharmacy. So he goes to the pharmacy school for a year and then he comes back and back to the drug store. farm school for a year and then he comes back and back to the drug store and then Lily and John moved together to Indianapolis in 1873 when Lily became partners with Dennis John Johnstone. Okay. And they opened a drug lab together. Okay. And John became the chief chemist and after a bit he married Johnston's daughter Ethel. So they would have two kids together. They would. So they did bank.

They banked. She banked. Lily and Johnstone split up in 1879, so John went and opened his own drug store. Next door he set up one of Indiana's first labs where he would test wine and paint and water and other stuff. Wine and paint? Just to make sure it's... You want to get there on wine day, paint day, like, oh no. So have a drink of that, would you?

More paint? How are you feeling? No. You've had a lot of paint. I don't think you know how labs work. Have a little more paint. You don't test stuff to drink it. Drink it. We're seeing how this works. Everything in the lab, you don't test to drink. Have a little more paint. You don't test stuff to drink it. Drink it. We're seeing

everything in the lab you don't test to drink. Have a sip. No. You're just testing items for purity. Try some paint. I'm not going to drink the fucking paint. Now why don't you put some wine on these walls and see what that does to you. I'll figure this out together. So his main focus was on water purity. His business took off when a glue maker came in to buy a cigar and they started talking and he said his business was hurting because his glue was brown and ugly and John said he could fix it and he did and he made a name for himself. Okay. He's a chemist.

Right. But he made the glue not grow like. He's a chemist. Right. But he made the glue not grow, like... He made not gross glue. Right. People are like, oh, just disgusting looking. It's horrifying. Would you want to use brown glue? Well, here, have a sip of it and tell me what it does to you.

There you go. Have a shot of glue. Now try this clearer glue. I can't breathe. Which one do you like better? Here, put a little paint. No, that's worse. Out of the paint down there.

Oh, Christ. Quick, pour wine on him. He's dying. So John loved to argue and talk. Rice, oh, Rice, that's the book author. I thought you were... Thurman Rice, MD, he wrote this book, the Hoosier Health Officer, he's a... He's what most of the quotes will be from Rice.

Quote, a sharp discussion of some pertinent questions was bread and meat to him. So delicious. He enjoyed it. He loved having a talk, was like ripping into a steak. Right, yeah, right. It was like a charcuterie plan. Yeah, that's right.

A discussion group began hanging out at the drug store. They became known as the Lofors Club. Wow, what a lame thing. Yep. John also had a cat named Sam who lived in the store. This story finally got going. When Sam died, there was an obituary written for him in the local paper. Nice. Good.

It is cute. When he got his fountain machines in the drugstore, he was such a nice guy that people started going behind the counter and helping themselves where they just lean over and fill up a glass. That's right. That's how you run a business. Yes. So nice that people are like, you just take what you want from this guy. Yeah.

It's fine. He got so irritated that he set up the phone so he would give electric shocks when people touched it. Hey, how about this? Just be like, don't do that anymore. Instead he's like, well, we got to kill him. Got to attack him. You just kill one and then everyone figures it out.

Maybe not though. Yeah, no, no, based on what I've seen lately. Just Christ, yeah, no. They just keep walking over and grabbing it. Well, all the customers are dead. Shit. Freedom. One man who stopped for discussions was James Smart, the president of Purdue University.

Yeah, no, fuck, yeah, fuck them! Other, other college! John asked him why they didn't teach pharmacy at Purdue and that question led to John teaching pharmacy at Purdue. Oh, wow. He also taught hygiene and pharmacy at other colleges like the Indiana Medical College and the Indiana Dental College. He got his own degree in medicine in 1891.

So he's very, very adamant. All right. What was he teaching? Hygiene and pharmacy. Okay. And then he was like, very adamant. What was he teaching? Hygiene and pharmacy. Okay. And then he was like, then he got a degree. He was like, these are the drugs you can use. Now I'm going to talk.

Also wash your ass. Okay. And people are like, I am not washing my ass. God made my ass dirty. Just put your hands on the ground and scoot across the rug like a regular man. The way God wanted it! There you go. He wouldn't have made this stuff come out of there if he didn't want it to be... Now drink your paint.

That drink you paint. John was adamant that people be protected, meaning drugs and food sold should not be dangerous. Sure. What a time. This big example at the time was Castoria. What's he doing? Go ahead and read that. Just read the one.

You don't have to read all eight. Children cry, children cry for pictures. Castoria, mothers like it. And physicians recommend it. It is not a narcotic. It was a narcotic. Is it with a song? Did he write it like, and we'll do a whole jingle thing?

Children cry, children cry, children cry, children cry for pictures, Castoria, for pictures, Castoria, for pictures, Castoria, for pictures, Castoria, mothers like it, if it isn't recommended, it's not a narcotic. It's not. It's Christ. It is. It's got op It's Christ. It is. It's got opium in it. And it says children cry because it was considered a soothing agent for babies. So children cry is what the problem is.

Yes. Because the narcotics, they're not crying. They're like, hey, hey, hey. My they're not crying. They're like, hey. My baby's not crying at all anymore. It worked. My baby's not doing anything anymore. Well, it's not a narcotic. You know the jingle.

Rice quote, so effective was the drug that many of the children who were soothed with its potent remedy are still in fact quiet. Forever? Yeah, they ended baby. Well, it worked. A little too well. Well, that's our product.

Very effective. He also believed customers should get what they pay for. It was very common that's our product. Very effective. He also believed customers should get what they pay for. It was very common to buy butter and half of it was like milk. What? Like a...

What do you mean? It wasn't pure, like they would mix milk in with the butter and it would be like not quality butter. But what do you mean? So he thought it should all be butter if you're buying butter. Oh yeah, I agree with him. Yeah. But other people are like, shit, cut. It looks like they're fattened all back then? They're like, cut that shit. Yeah. Yeah. This is pure butter. Yeah, yeah. What was that? Ten bucks a bag, dude. Wait, did you get butter on your beard?

Uh-uh. What are you doing? Pure. Here, take a fuckin' rip. Did you just put your finger in your nose? Look how good that is. Eat it? Pure butter, dude. Try that shit. I'm fucking terrified of what's going on with your hands. I'm not even thinking about the butter.

Why are you rubbing your underarms and your stomach? Buy it, buy the fuckin' bag of butter, dude. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's pure butter, bitch. Buy it. It of butter, dude. What the fuck is wrong with you? It's pure butter, bitch. Buy it. It seems not. Just eat the fuck. Have a sip of the-

Of butter? Yeah, the whip butter. Yeah, it's a little milky, but it's butter, pure. Why would- It ain't milk, dude. You just said it's milky. Uh-uh. You told me.

Not cause it's made of milk. You're telling me to drink butter. No. Well, try it and then give me the money. What the fuck does that mean? I didn't drive all the way down here to be fucked around with. I just came to a- Have some of the goddamn butter that's pure. I came to a farmer's market.

Okay, welcome. I would like actual butter. You're getting actual butter. It's in a cup! Shut the fuck up and take the butter. Why are you putting a gun at me? Just have some of the fucking butter. All right!

Give me the money. Here. It's pure. Jesus Christ, dude. I'm fucking, you're gonna love it. It's terrible. It's just milk. Just pour it on your bread. It's good butter.

My bread is now soggy with milk. With butter. You buttered your bread. You can't just keep yelling at something, saying that's what it is when it isn't. It is, it is, it is butter. None of it is milk. It's completely milk.

It's 100, dude. Tell your friends if you like the product so that I can spread the word about this butter. I'm not going to tell anyone to buy your milk. It ain't milk. Stop calling it milk. It's butter. It's very... It's very... It's very liquid butter.

Nobody wants liquid butter. that's not a thing. Just... You gonna thank me or are you gonna be an... No, I'm not gonna... Why would I thank you? Why would I thank you? Just pour it. You put it, gotta be, maybe drink milk

and all I want was... Oh my God, that was over a minute ago. Leave it alone. This is the worst farmer's market I've ever been to. Wow. You try to help people. You're not? No, you know what? Just give me the 20 bucks.

It's... What the fuck are you talking about? Give me the money. It's the 1880s. That's like fucking $800. Well, I gave you some really good shit. No, you did it. Yes, I did. It's pure. Pure milk.

No. Have you even ever had butter? Yes, it's yellow and it's hard. Yeah. Yeah. All right. This... Give me the money. I don't know what. Is it crazy? You are making me the money. I don't know what is it crazy? You know, you are making me feel crazy

And I don't need that. I do fucking you talking about oh man You know what you're pouring milk. That's white and you're saying it's butter. It is nobody knows what's happening Nobody knows hey, hey My god, oh my god Nobody knows! Hey, hey, hey! Oh my God! Oh my God! His head was full of jam! Oh my God! You say head full of jam, wait till we get there. Like most cities, Indianapolis was a pit of filth. So dirty you had to do high waters.

It's young Larry Bird. And is that shitty where you didn't, you had to put, there were no pants allowed. No. You'll ruin them. So if you got pants, roll them. Roll them up. There's no reason to have shoes or socks. The whole place is just, it's shit.

There was actually an alley nicknamed Typhus Alley. What you want to do is cut through Typhus Alley and do not breathe when you're doing the cut through It was right in the middle of the business district a letter to the editor of the Indianapolis news quote We invite the mayor city council grand jury board of health garbage collector Sanitary and in sanitary police Insanitary pull how are you? You need some poo? To walk down one side of Typhus alley before leaving for the summer vacations. The various stenches that load the air in

the business center will then make the sea breeze seem fresher. Wait, the reason to take a stroll through there is so that everything smells better? They want them to, they're like, yeah, they want them before their summer break. Yeah, get sick. Yeah, get sick and go. So this is the, this is right around when the germ theory was taken hold. So at this point, a lot of people think you get, you get it from smells. So they get it from smells. Yeah, you get, yeah, you're going to get typhus from smells. There's a really, really high death rate.

The city health officers was always pointing out that the city was in a terrible state, and he was very unpopular because he wanted to clean it up. Right. I just can't. Like, I would just not want to live. Like, I can't fucking. I mean, we are just the dumbest dumb we've been the dumbest for really

We're really dumb. We're exceptionally dumb just remarkably stupid His guy wants to clean it you get the hell out of here. We're cleaning Fuck you. Hell City officer. I ain't cleaning shit. Yeah, I'm gonna die You come here one more time and I'm gonna lay face down in this here horse manure. Ah, I got it all over my head. That's right. We city folk. Yeah. Try that in a pedophile.

Sounds good. Indianapolis was the largest city in the civilized world that was not on a navigable river or body of water. So ships can't come through, which means getting rid of sewage is a really serious problem. And the plan is the stream that's running through the southeast gives off a horrific odor. So no one wants to live near the city hospital either because of odors and diseases that came from it. Oh my God. Look at you people.

They're filthy animals. They're fucking gross. Oh, the stream. Where do they drink in water from? Oh, there's a water company. Okay. It comes out of the river, I company. Okay. The kids out of the river I assume. Okay. In 1881 a state board of health was created to deal with the situation. As a doctor John

also worked at the hospital and in 1896 there was a lot of there's a lot of typhoid victims. Sure. So John does an investigation. So he does an investigation he finds out that all of the typh types victims are coming from a block of rich people's houses Hmm quote the block was a typhoid factory Yep, we're making typhoid How much you want that's how we get rich come on? He poured coal oil into the outhouses and it showed up in a drinking well. Oh So they were shititting in there.

So there is a water company? Yes. Well, let me explain what we think water is. Well we built the outhouses right over the drinking water. Is that a problem? Yep. So he publishes a report and the owner is furious. And he called.

How dare you? How dare you talk about my shit situation? Come on, let him drink it. He calls it nonsense. He threatens John. He said he'd make John stop. And then he gets an older doctor, a well respected doctor to tell John to just walk away.

Yeah. This is an old guy. He's better than you. Young and? Yeah. Tell him what you told me. He's got to get out of here. You got to get out of here. Yeah. Say and he's older than you. So get out of here. Say a little more stuff. Get out of here. All right. You were really. You were doing a lot better in the rehearsal. Get out of here. Alright. You were really... You were doing a lot better in the rehearsal. Get out of here! Yeah, yeah, get out of here. He's older than you. Fucking animal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll tear your nipples off. Yeah, all right, all right, all right. With my teeth. All right, yep, all right. Well, yeah, so he's... Feed him to the badgers.

All right, keep it in this lane of sense Because it's starting to veer off in a way where it is not great But he is older than you and you need to listen to him so get out of town. I'll take your belly button out It's a hole. It's hard to take a hole out. Oh, is it? Yeah, that's what I know I'm not I'm talking real hard. I'm talking to you now. I'm telling you what you're saying. So please, it's like you cannot remember this. Monroe! Huh? Yeah, yeah.

No, he's gonna go. You've done your part. I'm gonna suck your eyes out of your fucking head. How? Through his mouth? With my mouth. On his eye? Listen, hey.

I'm gonna suck his eyes out. All right, all right, stop now. Stop now, okay? Let's leave on a high high note and we left that about a mile ago you told me I was a bad doctor and you were I said you an old doctor oh shit I don't know what's happening stop pulling the thing no no let him keep pulling for God we want to stop yes Yes. Yeah, oh, it's booing the water. No, no, not the water the outhouse Shit the little building what stop oh Jesus Christ, I'm scared

I miss when you were telling him to get rid of his belly button So that's a good idea. No, you it's your idea. You said it Fucking lab weirdo. Stop it. Christ. We should do this in a theater. No, well, in a way we are. Ah.

John refuses to walk away, quote, I did lose lots of practice at first and got my full share of censure at the hands of selfish interests, but in time my practice increased and the public was more and more aroused. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. It's one of those words that changed. No, I don't know.

It's one of those many words that changed. How do you know? Yeah, well, it's like, oh, they were all aroused. Hey there, you're that doctor that, uh... I ain't you that doctor that says we got a wash? I ain't you that washing doctor? Yes, I am. Oh, man, I'm all I'm around I ask you to not

Stimulate yourself in front of me. Oh man Walk me through your theory pretty slow. I'm actually How are you doing that? What are you doing? Is that I got one part that I wash and the rest I leave Is that? I got one part that I wash and the rest I leave. Well, thank you for stopping by. I don't have any doctoring for you. Ah!

That's the worst thing that's ever happened to me as a doctor. That's awesome. You might want to change the little wrap you put on this table when I get out of here. Is that why you leave the front of these things open? What, your pants? No, these little gowns so you can work it. It's not, you're having them backwards. Oh!

Oh, for butt. What do you do with your arm? I've got something on it. arm that's a moment uh... but the governor saw what john was doing any call the new offer john the secretary of this state board of health position okay gareth dave uh... we are brought to you by squarespace

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So he's immediately critical of the health laws in Indiana and how the board handled health, work and set about fixing everything. The first thing he did was order soap and washing equipment for his office. Wow. Selfish. So, so he like, he's catching on because he's like, clean yourself. Yeah, he's like, clean yourself. Like, what the fuck? It's disgusting. He's like, go ahead and wash. On the second day, he told the Indianapolis News, quote, the slop we drink is safe, but

not filtered. What? The slop we drink is safe? But not filtered. Okay. Slop's not the greatest word. It's not a great word. word. Continue to drink your slop. It's safe. He had been testing city water and blamed the typhoid on private wells. In

June a paper mill north of Indianapolis had a full sludge pond that separated from the white river by a dyke. So there's a paper mill and they have, they're producing just fucking filth. Right. And they make a sludge pond and then they just have like a little dam between it and the river. Okay. And they got full, so they're like, we're gonna have to build another one.

No, we'll just let this sludge go in the river. But then somehow Dynamite blew up the dam. Oh, he's goddamn beavers. They have gotten ridiculously smart out here as of late. Dynamite. Fish in the river started dying. And then the water in the city started tasting pretty bad. What do you think it is?

I don't know. John went to investigate the paper mill, but armed security chased him away. And then people started getting sick from the water. So people started carrying water from wells to their homes. And companies popped up to sell drinking water. Here we go. Awesome. Our Nestle.

Breweries and distilleries told people they should only drink beer and whiskey. Nice. Men started picking up floating dead fish and selling them house to house. Would you like a sick fish that has passed? Does this household enjoy fish? Who are you? I sell fish now. I Have a pocket full of them

and eggs They sold them up until they were so putrified that no one would buy them Well what these dudes are just grabbing them just go door to door Intel like there was there was a day I like there was a day when they're like, well that one's too smelly. I agree ma'am. Two for one? John explained to the entire city that the water

had not killed the fish from poison, but a lack of oxygen. What? Fish don't drink oxygen into themselves, dumbass. No, they do. No, they don't. That's why they're under water. That's why I can't go under water and be a fish.

And you're supposed to be in charge. You ain't that smart for someone who's supposed to be in charge. You don't think fish are drinking oxygen into their chests. They have gills. Yo, what? And they use the gills to take oxygen into their body. And then they're underwater. There's no oxygen under there.

I went under there to try to breathe it myself. And I almost died. And my brother died from doing it. Sure. So why are you in charge? You think you can do that in water? There's no oxygen in water. Okay? I forgot that Twitter had been invented in 1888. What?

So Reigns found they came and the river flushed itself out and everybody just went back to normal. Hey, problem averted. Now tuberculosis at this time was raging in Indiana. Nice. And... It's awesome. John ordered everything sanitized, pencils, desks, banisters, doorknobs, everything.

And then he turns his attention to what were called spitters. Spitters? Also known as spittoons. Oh. Spittons were everywhere. And then the spittoon, you were just aiming for it, right? Yeah, a lot of misses. You were like bending down at me like, hmm. A lot of misses.

You were like standing near it like, wha wha wha. Whatever. Yeah. Doesn't matter. Oh yeah, there was tons of misses. So he published an article in the Indianapolis Sentinel on February 1st, 1897 called The Spitting problem. Quote, spitting in public places is prohibited by the Board

of Health for sanitary and economic reasons and for the sake of common decency. Man, this correction is not, this is like no smoking in bars. Yeah, it is. People are like, what? It's exactly what it's like. He said, said quote man is the only animal that spits and I don't mean that to be complimentary Well, we're taking it as one In schools it was almost impossible to stop teachers from spitting on the boards to clean them

them. It's so amazing. You teach it just like, Joe, anyway, Pythagoras, fucking hey. Shit. Most of the teachers are women back then, so women just like. But it's all tobacco based, right? Not necessarily, yeah. Also some people just spit and you're just... That's how they cleaned the boards.

So you just... That's how you did it. Ugh. What are you gonna get, water? Yeah. Yep. You are? Yeah. Okay, fucking weirdo.

What are you gonna wear wear a mask. Yeah So when Marion Indiana passed a law against spitting on the street a paper wrote quote It's getting so old man has no rights whatsoever And that's been the theory since It's getting so old man has has no rights whatsoever. Is there a comment there? I'm a paper maker! I write some down and then you all read some. So men spit all over the place and women wore long dresses that dragged on the ground.

Jesus. Right. It's nature. It's healing itself. I think that's beautiful. Life finds a way. A court ruled that it was man's inalienable right to spit when and where he pleased. Now listen, this is a court of law.

We're only taking on the important issues, but a man is allowed to spit where he wants. And boards of health had no right to fringe upon it. I mean, we like... We are... We've been begging for extinction the whole time. Pleading. It's just been time the whole time. It's a court ruled...

A court. It was your right to spit. Now, hold on a minute. Both of you have made compelling arguments. However, it's pretty obvious, Spittin's fine. A sane person back then was like, ugh. No, God, please kill me. So John started swabbing streets to get spit samples tested.

He did not have to work hard. He was like, there you go. What if I just ring out the bottom of your dress? Ma'am, can you come over here with your dress? He found tuberculosis, pneumonia, and strep. Oh my God, just all over! Yeah. He used the results to scare the public. Good.

And then women's groups got involved and wanted spitting stopped also. Spittoons were seen as a sanitary necessary because, but they're also hated. Where are we gonna spit if you can't spit in that? That's exactly right. Well, I'm gonna be- What is your theory? Where will we spit if you can't spit

into the receptacles? Okay, let me talk to woman here. Woman, if I'm inside the house, right? And I got a bunch of tobacco up in there, Yes. And there's nothing to spit it in. Yeah. Go ahead.

Well, I guess I would ask that you just stop, just stop spitting anywhere. So if you want to use your tobacco, maybe you could just Maybe just stop you stop chewing so much tobacco stop using a product where you have to spit everywhere Maybe you could have a little cup you put into your mouth, but maybe just stop spitting Maybe we could put a little circle in the yard. You could go out there and that's your little spit zone Right there's no spittoon. Yeah, no, that's what started the conversation. So I'm just going to do wherever.

Bed. Chair. You're not spitting in the chair. Well, I have no choice. You do. Okay. There's tobacco in my face. I have no choice. No, you do. Okay. There's tobacco in my face.

I'm making saliva. Right. Spit stuff. Yeah. Gotta go somewhere. So women said housewives clean spittoons because they didn't want them to overflow. That's... And if they didn't clean the spittoons now we just keep spinning

into them until they were overflowing figure it out. You're paranoid. I mean you read this and you go yeah, that's exactly how it works. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. So liva was a problem in other ways like the common drinking cup. Faucets had cups hanging from

them. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. So you just have hookah fountains? There you are. Jets seem pretty ill. He's all right, old champ. No. I guess he hasn't quit the spitting, has he? Ooh, that's a frothy cup. Boy, this water's a horrifying beige. Well, all right. So yeah, if that's how... There's a dead fish in this. That's how fountains worked.

You didn't have like a thing that came out, or you drink from. I'm quite thirsty. You fill up your cup. And then you drink from it. Anyone care for some tuberculosis? Then the next day it comes along and drinks from the cup. One man questioned a guy who drank from a cup

right after a very dirty man had drunk from it. And he asked if he got a good look at the guy, and if he was clean. the man said quote well I guess he was pretty dirty and had sores on his face. What's where's this going? What's the point? The point is they didn't think about it. Why would they? Because they didn't because diseases came from smells so that guy had no effect on you. I didn't smell his sores. Ha ha ha ha ha! To be honest, I did a little bit, but uh... So people just didn't think it was a problem.

I didn't smell it. So John said about making people afraid. He did uh... He did some Reaper stuff. He did some drawings. By the way, I'm very close to getting a tattoo of the left one. Spare the little children. The Reaper! More water, dumb shit.

Yeah, so he did illustrations like one is a Reaper handing a little girl a cup. And the other is a skeleton cup. Yeah, it's a skeleton cup. So he's trying to tell people it's bad. Does it work? I mean, it work? It looks like it should work, but people are probably like, Reaper one there, I couldn't smell him. Do you think that the way they've done it on cigarettes has worked? Yeah, there's been a, well it's kind of been an attack from multiple angles though. But certainly the advertising forever was so... I mean, it's actually... what's amazing

about the cigarette one is that the government filed the lawsuit against the tobacco companies. And then when you think about it today, you're like, that would never happen. Never happen. The government will never be like, oil, listen, it turns out your product's horrible. The government's like, we need more of you. There's actually a pretty good chance that the government replaces that they, Uncle Sam with Joe the camel. Joe camel, yeah, well to be honest I like Joe a lot better. Joe's funny, yeah he's fun. That was cool. But it took forever. Forever, forever. I know it's the phase where people are like what do you mean you don't smoke? Well, you're going to die. Well, it's a hospital, son. Come on.

Now blow smoke in his organs. We're trying to heal the boy. People really didn't think drinking like this was a problem, so he makes them afraid. And John goes and meets with railroad workers who agree after listening to them that spitting on trains should stop. Sure. So John was allowed to put up cards stating people are not to spit on the floors of trains, which was a huge victory. That is so fucking disgusting. Like, I guess you won't know that this happens, but I've never thought about it on that level,

that everywhere you went people were just spitting everywhere. Everywhere you went people were just spitting everywhere. Everywhere you went, people were spitting. Yeah. Why is it New York City? Oh, right. Why are we taking shots of New York City right now? What did New York City do? Come on.

You saw what happened when it flooded there. Delicious rat pools. For the citizens to swim in. Now another big problem was flies. Quote, swarming hordes of flies were thought to be a necessary evil. You're not painting the greatest picture. Because they were God's creatures and so they had a reason to be there. They were doing something good. Their flies. I don't disagree with this one that much so far.

So at the time it was a boy or girls job in the in the house to stand behind a guest of honor at dinner and wave a fly brush. Well now this is strange. Well the guy the guest of honor had to eat. He'll say someone had to keep the flies off. There honor had to eat a hill. It's it's I'm gonna keep the flies many flies yes, there's not you just close you can't it's there what you do there's flies yeah, okay It's great. No next stand behind him now, honey. He's about to eat So to get people to understand the fly was a problem John nicknamed it the typhoid fly He had large models made of the fly with larvae. Some places held contests to get rid of flies.

What were those like? Well, boys who caught the most flies as much as a gallon of flies were honored publicly. But those kids are probably like, they're going to die though. Those children will pass on. That was a problem, was a lot of the boys caught typhoid from the flies. What did I win? I caught a thousand flies.

My arm fell off. As did the men who measured the flies. The fly measures? Well done, boy. And also it turns out boys were using garbage to attract flies which just ended up creating more flies. There'll be no more competitions. Another huge problem was outhouses.

This has been a very big... I mean like the porta potty is horrifying. Yeah, but this was I Just can't imagine living back then I would This is the stuff that this is where it starts to make me be like I wouldn't make it. No, I wouldn't make it There's no way I would like hang myself with the flusher. Yeah, they'd be like boy. He's dating there for a long time There's a line mister, but I can't do this. Oh, he's dating there for a long time. There's a line, mister. But I can't do this. It's just horrendous.

And was it just port-a-potty law? Worse. Port-a-potty law? It's just a hole. Yeah, to the ground. Yeah, there's just a hole down. And there's nothing that ever is done about it. There's no Hoesman or anything.

No, no, guys are coming clean now. There's a guy who comes in. Yeah. All right. That was a good job, right? Yes. So yeah, they're just open easy. How was work? Well, no more talk about it. What'd you do? I was just, please, we don't deserve this earth. We don't deserve it. So much. Why do we do so much of it?

Maybe you should switch jobs. I can't. Why? It's what my pa did. It's all I'm trained to do. Take the stuff out of the hole. With my hand probably. Wait, why?

Wait, well I don't know. Use a scoop or something. I'm using a scoop. What do you mean, all right? I'm using a scoop. Okay. Why are you touching your eyes? Don't touch your hands.

Oh shit, oh shit. Oh no. Just every day is hell. And then once it No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Each is full, each one's full, full. No, I got it. Oh, hell. Oh. Just makes me feel I never want to go again. And I haven't.

What? How long? It's been two months. Well, that's why you're here at the doctor. Yeah. Now you're here at the doctor. Now you're the one that jerks me off, right? No, sir. You're the jack-off doc?

No, that's a different guy. Aren't you the one who finishes? No, that guy actually holds his hours in an outhouse. Oh. Oh, no. The paradox. So they're just open open making flies outhouses. They were quote cleaned as rarely as possible. Why did they have to do them next door? Well

that's like that's like in a town area like that's like a public store for a business or whatever. Okay. Yeah men who clean them came at night so they wouldn't be seen wait what why because that no one no one wanted to know that that guy clean no no no the game again Martha no no people were ready for another squat it wasn't it wasn't for like what happened to this shit it was the guy I tell... I tell you, I do believe in magic. This is unbelievable. Yesterday this turdlet was filled with stuff. Today it's gone. Sir, who's ever up there in the clouds?

You are magic. Thank you for blessing us for another day of full-on crappin'. It was because the guy doing it didn't want to be seen. Oh, because the job was shameful. Yeah. I just wear a mask. Sorry, no, that's controversial. It was Batman in that outhouse. Hello.

With a spoon. Hi. It's a ladle. It smelled so they didn't want to haul it far and they just took it a little ways, then they dump it along a road or in a stream or a garden. So they're not, like they're supposed to take it to a specific location, but they're like, ah, fuck it. What is the point, oh, because they'll just get paid because it's empty and it's something

to be like, honey? The Sasquatch came again. He's done another one. Jesus Christ. So John tries to educate people. He chips away at it over the years, like the poo situations bad. You're disgusting. You are monsters. He also pushed for clean schools. He wanted them clean, stairlides. He wanted kids to

bathe, but he ran into a lot of resistance when he tried to clean the prisons. Prisoners suffer from malaria and consumption and typhoid. And John said typhoid came from dirty well water. There were also tons of bed bugs and putty in the bread. Putty? I don't know what putty is, but it sounds bad. It was... This is pure putty. It was reported in the paper, his whole report.

The warden wrote a rebuttal saying the water was fine. Pretty sure to the point. It's just like having lived through COVID, you're like, right, that's what happens. Yeah, the argument from everywhere that depends on the environment we have now to make money is like stop it John replied quote it would be kinder to the prisoners to execute them at once than to poison them with this water all right you got a deal no problem good call oh why don't you start bringing that shit in here when you empty out the outhouses? Come on.

But it still would take years to get the prison changed. It was believed the germs from dead bodies could get into the water and spread disease. And infected bodies were not supposed to be moved, so people moved them at night. Like, a lot of work happening at night. Yeah, all the bad stuff is happening at night because no one's out. Yeah. It's just bad people. You're hiding everything. Yes. The body fairy came too. Just a guy. Oh, we've been blessed again. The shitter's empty. The body's gone. You are just unbelievable, good Lord. Night time is just a guy carrying a typhoid body, passing the guy with a bucket of shit. Evenin', evenin', evenin'.

Where you dumping that? I put it in their yard. Me too. Oh my God, honey. The thing that's been making those awful scats has died in our yard. And it's shit from next door. It's shit from next door! John wanted infectious bodies to be wrapped in a mercury-soaked sheet and put in a mercury, not mercury exactly, but a solution of mercury, and put in a coffin that was never opened. So after this, after John said this and bombers were furious and they said the Board of Health had no authority to make new laws. So the undertakers got together and sued the Board of Health the first time one

of them had to prepare a body. And then John went public and he's like this is the best health of everybody. And so there's a big fight happening in the state funeral director association then gets together with the board of health and they come up with a new set of rules for embalmers which had the same effect, but since they actually had the ability to make the rules, there's nothing the embalmers could do. So after that, all bodies were sealed

in a tight metal container of some kind. So the little bit Sure little victories. No more just throwing bodies around that I thought that did really hurt that economy though for that job Yes, that's what would happen you guys can code You'll go code now. Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure whatever pretty easy no yeah Okay. Yeah, sure, whatever. Pretty easy. No. Yeah. So the Spanish-American War began in 1898 and food quickly became a problem, specifically beef. Uh-oh. Now there was a commission for our burgers. There was a commission created to look into the meat problem. It turns out it was allowed to age in refrigerators and some beef came with what was called a beard

What's happening? It's a nickname for mold. Ah Came with a beard there was called a beard Would you like your beef with beard or without beard? With beard mustache. Yeah, people care. Please Yeah. Peel the carrot. Please. Beef with a beard. Oh, we got an elder statesman.

Look at how wise my hamburger is. So this was a big controversy all in the news, and General Mills meant to say meat was treated with chemicals, but he accidently called it embalmed beef, and people freaked out. Either way it's like crazy, but yeah, that is worse. No, we're embalming the beef. Your beef's embalmed. Yeah.

Newspapers reported beef sent to soldiers was packed in cans so old they were rusted through. A soldier, quote, it was a stringy, unwholesome looking mass, more like wet seaweed than anything else I can think of. Well, I mean, it's so funny now to be like your canned beef wasn't good. It was stringy. People became very cautious about where their food came from and they'd ask butchers if they killed the cow now. They'd be like, did you actually slaughter the animal or was it someone else?

Like people are getting freaked out. So John writes a bill for the legislature and the governor signs it. It's the first comprehensive food and drug legislation ever passed in the U.S. and then it became a model for other states and then it would become a federal law in 1906. So the first food bill ever was right here in Indiana. Well, we've stopped it now, but... Well, yeah, we reversed it.

In 1899, smallpox broke out in Indiana. Oh, for fuck's sake. She's fine. That looks like a lot of sake. She's fine. That looks like a lot of pox. She's fine. You get enough smallpox it looks quite big. Oh my god. So John just says look the state's gonna have an epidemic and he doesn't know how it can be avoided. Just a lot of people are gonna die. People who didn't want to hear that. So some doctors started calling smallpox cases chickenpox.

And newspapers and businessmen loved that idea. The epidemic probably could have been controlled if people had not pushed it as chickenpox. So other doctors start helping out John and they go with him to look at cases to confirm that it's smallpox. Right. One doctor kept writing articles chastising those who called it smallpox. At different times it was called Barber's Itch. Barber's Itch? You get a haircut recently? A lot of that going around. That's what the blue water is for. The each? So, impetigo? Impetigo? Impetigo? Impetigo? Impetigo? Is that what it's called? Well, what a fucking dumb way to pronounce

that word. Like, that's not on me. That's just fucking stupid. Well, either way, it's bullshit, right? Impet it's a real thing. Oh okay. What do you think we're, you think, you think I'm making it up and then they know the correct pronunciation of a fake word? What I don't want is for you to go on their side when they just fucked you. Don't forget where your bread is milked. Also blood boils?

That seems worse. An affliction? Don't worry, it's just blood boils. I thought it was something serious. No, you're fine. Have you gotten a haircut recently? An affliction of puberty? Yep.

What you've got here are some growing pains, you 38-year-old man. You see, your balls are dropping again. The seasons are changing. You're gonna notice some differences. You're gonna get bushier than before, and you're gonna wanna start sleeping around a little bit. It's true. You might have a growth spurt in certain spots.

You're certainly gonna get poxier. I keep getting a lot of boners. Yep, yep, that's what this is. You're getting older. You're becoming a man again. You're almost 40. Also blood blisters. See, some of these aren't as good.

The Cuban itch. What? What? Have you been around a Cuban? These aren't as good. The Cuban itch. What? What? What? Have you been around to Cuban? He didn't cut your hair, did he? Hampox. You like ham.

Wouldn't that affect the ham industry? I don't know. It's no winners. And porgo or Porgo, right? You guys gonna? No, you got nothing on that, huh, motherfuckers? No. Fuck these assholes.

You got, you got. Let's get the fuck out of here, man. You got super weird during that. Yeah, no, because I got Olympa Tugo. Yeah. So these people started attacking John and saying that it was all his fault that he was just stirring up fear. Yeah, you fucking did that and all I got are ham bruises.

Liar. The Anderson News, quote. The Anderson News, it's a newsletter. Quote, shame, shame, scandal, fake, farce, fraud, rascally, roguish, ruinous, devilish, damnable, an imposition to the common people, a disgrace to the city, and state medical profession, state health officer, John Herty, is responsible.

John had just gone. Bike for sale also. John had just gone to Anderson and diagnosed cases as smallpox that the town doctor had called Chickenpox. It's another just mad at the doctor. Yes, who's telling them what's going on. But I mean that is what, that's our deal basically, right? Yeah, that's our deal.

In Clay City there was a very large outbreak, so John closed schools down and locked everything down and he was angrily attacked. But it stopped the outbreak. So he was then blamed for harming businesses. There it is. All it is, always, right? Always. Yeah. He did quarantines in other towns. An entire church congregation was quarantined, a woman's card club for three weeks, and a brothel, including the customers. Well, while we're all locked up together,

I don't know, what are we gonna do to pass all the time? I'm sure out of money, but I got more of other stuff. Other stuff? Huh? Boy, you're covered in ham, ham wounds. It's a purity. Yeah. What do you say we get together and itch our whole bodies the old fashioned way?

No. Want to bump bumps? Want to bump bumps? Excuse me, I'm going to throw up. Some lady's like, why hasn't my husband been home for three weeks? He quarantined a boarding house with 20 workmen. Quote, they could not come outdoors, but they made so much noise with their yelling singing and celebrating that the neighbors objected. When the police came they could do nothing.

Come and get us yelled the borders. None of whom were really ill. The lockdown and the quarantines were very effective. Another big cause of death at the time was milk, especially in children. What? It's a good thing I don't sell that. I'm a butter guy. What are you saying?

Nothing. You swear to God you're saying nothing? Yeah, I don't want to talk. Well, I don't want to talk about it either. But let's just say it's milk. Butter. Butter. What?

It's butter. You said milk. It's butter. You said it's milk. I, it's butter. What? It's butter. You said milk. It's butter. You said it's milk. I thought you didn't want to talk about it. Everything I gave you was 100% pure butter from a cow. Pretty much. And then it's churned with some other stuff probably.

And then I bring it to you at a cheap price. I eliminate the middleman. Looks like you're fixing for another batch. I'm not. Yeah, you are. No. Yeah. No.

I can't believe you survived that earlier. Me neither. Yeah. Well, let's celebrate. No. Buy a bag, 10 bucks. What? Five.

What do you want? $10 for a bag. A bag? Yeah, a butter. Why would I get... Have a bag of butter. I don't want a bag of butter. Yeah, come on.

Slosh it around. It's the best shit in town, dude. I'm French. What? I'm French. Okay. I don't care What? I'm French. Okay. I don't care.

We invented the butter. Why are you leaning like that? What's up? I don't want to do this. Why are you leaning that way? Because I don't like you. You're butter-free. I'm your guy.

No, you're not my fucking guy. You butted a gut at me! You shot your own head off. Oh, that's true. I always forget when I do that. Yeah, well, it's hard to remember shit like that. So this is when kids didn't live very long. The mothers dreaded the second summer of a child's life as being the most dangerous. Jesus Christ.

Jacob Rees wrote in a... I'll tell you what though, there were less gender reveals, which I like. Yes. People weren't getting that cocky with that. They're like, it's a boy. Oh, shit. We'll be grieving him next summer.

Jacob Rees wrote in New York slums of a hundred babies born 85 died when they were two. And the main reason was the poor quality of milk. What? I'm a butter guy. Yeah, well, you're going to have a hard time with this next section. Early on with... So we're playing Candy Crush? That's my... yeah, sorry.

How are you doing? Are you winning? Early on with not many people living in a town, everyone knew each cow and who owned them. And then guys producing milk knew everyone so they didn't want to make them sick. But then cities got bigger and people were buying milk from people they didn't know. And then dairies increased in size and then they moved further

and further away from cities and then large investment came in and bigger dairies drove smaller ones out of business. This is a pretty good model. I like this bitch. Let's nationalize this with everything. That's right. And then they had to sell milk at lower prices to drive the little guys out of business to sell at a low price. They would add water, or they'd skim it, or they'd use preservatives instead of ice. Sure. So there's no refrigeration yet. Some people had ice boxes, quote, milk was kept cool by means of the milk trough in the milk house through which water from the family well flowed. Milk trough. Other ways people kept milk cool was hanging a milk pail down into the well.

Ah, what? Some houses had cellars where they kept the milk. It was delivered by milk men usually in an open can. Sometimes he drank from his pail. So things are done to make milk keep longer or increase its volume. Milk was skimmed to use the cream for butter and then they would add water with gelatin to thicken it. Here we go, now we're getting it. Yeah, a little gel, nice. Farms had a hard time getting rid of animal brains after slaughter.

Awesome, I like where this is headed, let's listen to this guy. Yeah, what did they do man, that's awesome. People wouldn't eat brain sandwiches, so brains were But hey, huh? So brains were cut, and then a kind of goo brain cream... Hey, hey, hey, what the fuck? And then a kind of... Hey, hey, what's going on right now? And then a kind of goo brain cream was squeezed out. Hey, man, what?

They cut the animal brains and squeezed goo out. Uh-huh, for what again? And then they put it in the milk to be like cream. Oh my God! What the fuck? It's called innovation. Oh my God! Oh my God!

Oh! Oh! Eating a brained sandwich like, I got an idea. I wonder where that came from. Get to the guy who wrote us saying, capitalism is good and we're wrong. Fuck you. I got an idea. I wonder where that came from. To the guy who wrote us saying, capitalism is good and we're wrong, fuck you. Hey man, what if we took some of this brain goo

that came out of my sandwich and tossed it in your shit mill? That could do something. I took some of this brain goo that came out of my sandwich and tossed it in your shit milk. That could do something. Probably... Formaldehyde was also used to prevent spoiling. Now, Formaldehyde... I'm more on board with Formaldehyde than brain gel. I know it's probably worse, but still.

It's worse, because Formaldehyde is kind of bad for babies. Well, rice. Quote, the babies couldn't raise much of a kick about it though, so they just curled up and died. That's a slogan. John, so John called the people who made this milk modern herds. No one paid attention to him because they saw him

as an impractical crank when it came to milk. Dairy men said if they did what John wanted, it would destroy the business and no one would have milk. Right, that's because you fucked up the business. It's not that it shouldn't be fixed, it's that you're fucked. Well, but we can't, then our jobs will be gone. That'll hurt the economy. And the mayor's approval rating. I think you see the snowball effect. So let's just keep killing babies with milk. Okay?

Sure, why not? Alright. The dairymen said, when John insisted milk should be sold in bottles, they absolutely freaked out. What are you, a fucking crazy? I think we're pretty good, just bringing it in big open containers. I think we'll be fine. Milk at the time was incredibly dirty. A Board of Health report from April 1900 said that in the milk was found sticks, hairs, insects, blood, pus, and filth. Oh my God! I don't know which one of those is the worst.

I really don't. Like, hair is a problem, but I'm like, I'll just have hair milk. Maneuver was also in the milk. Chocolate. Manure was also in the milk. Oh, chocolate. Each gallon had one and a half grains of manure by measuring milk and how much... Wait, is it like in the recipe? It's... Just a little bit of that to just... Oh, just give it a little bit of flavor.

Oh, that's the spice right there. That's nice. Drop it in. Just a towel like emerald. There you go. Just a touch of poo. There you are. That's nice. Just how the cow intended to make it. We're taking a little something from every area that's open on the cattle. By measuring milk and how much people drank, the report said the people of Indianapolis consumed over one ton of manure per year.

That's pretty good. That's pretty, that's why you're the shit state. Ha ha ha ha. An Indianapolis news story. I think they couldn't have eaten a ton a year. A year? Yeah. They're drinking a lot of milk because it's one of the best ways to get... Maneur.

Maneur and protein. But yeah, if it's in the milk, then they're pounding it. Fucking it. Not each person, then they're pounding it. Fucking it. Not each person, but like the whole city. Oh, okay, right. I thought you were saying the whole each person. No, no. The Indianapolis.

Yeah, I thought so. I was like, that person's like, how makes me? The people of Indianapolis. I don't feel very good. A ton? Well, you would have just been there and be like, oh God! Oh God! Oh God!

Well, that's why I was exasperated. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha What? I don't feel right. An Indianapolis news story about the Board of Health milk report from August 22, 1900. Quote, horsehair worms, flakes of moss, and pieces of manure have all been found in one pint bottle of milk delivered by a dairy man to Harry zake members of the zinc family discovered the worms But they were very They very easily, sorry They were very easily seen for they were alive and wiggling about in the bottom of the bottom Can you imagine finishing a big thing of milk and being like...

Well now the milk is moving. Those are worms. There's a lot of worms at the bottom. Yes, that's a special, special prize we're putting in at the dairy. I don't like the dairy man a lot. Would you like your milk with worms or without worms? Without. Oh, that's $7 extra.

Okay. $14. There's still worms in this. Yes, well you didn't be Really specific about what kind of worms must have come out of the cow? Yes We certainly aren't adding them for no reason Well, we have a lot of worms we don't know what to do with them. Oh, okay, well, let's get to where So John tested it and the impurities

came from dirty water that had been added to the milk. So the water had little worm eggs in it or whatever the worms happened and then they, but then the worms are like, yeah, I'm just going to say a puzzling life for a worm to be like, our job is to drink the milk. I don't know. It feels wrong, but I guess that's what we're doing. That's what we're kind of figuring it out on our own down here. Not sure what our destiny really is. Sometimes I look at that dirt out there and I think that must be fun. But I guess that's not for us.

We're milkworms. Pixar presents. Milkworm. You can't go in the dirt. You're a worm. A milkworm. You can't go in the dirt. You're a worm! A milkworm! But pop, my life lives out there. Till one day,

crawler fell out of the dairy milk. I'm in the dirt finally. I love it. Why are you such a milky worm? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! We out on him. There you go. Ha ha ha ha ha! I was hoping you'd get on board. Ha ha ha ha ha!

So the Board of Health had a long list of rules for dairies to follow. And but when John first joins the board, he thinks formaldehyde is a good disinfectant and preservative. Okay. But he soon came through a different conclusion because the dairymen were overdoing it and used formaldehyde to prevent the spoilage of their dirty milk. So instead of just being like, well, this will help with preservative, they're like, it's so fucking... This is milk.

We've got so much shit in there that, yeah, we'll put formaldehyde in. Now this milk can last two and a half years. So when John flips on formaldehyde and argues against it, people would use that against him and they'd call him incompetent. So there were many people who were pro-formaldehyde at the time, like Theodore Smith, who wrote a column in the Indianapolis News who would extol the virtues of formaldehyde as a preservative. He said it was quite nontoxic and dairies were so filthy and disgusting that it was necessary to have a germicide in the milk. So it apparently never occurred him to clean the dairy farm area. At one point during

the debate over formaldehyde Chalmers asked if he really thought it being in milk was bad for a baby. Quote, well it's in bombing fluid that you were adding to the milk. I guess it's all right if you want to embalm the baby. All right. You're finally coming around to our argument. Hey, what's in bone meat? It's for beef. Oh, well, babies are beef.

Get rid of the beard. Babies are beef. It's a weird thing to say. Turn to the other person out loud. It's a weird thing to say to another person out loud that babies are beef. Babies are beef. I'm going to stop talking now because you absolutely scare me.

They're not. They're babies are beef. No cows are beef. Cows are beef too. What's not beef? Milk. As people turned against from aldehyde companies, they tried to sell it under new names like Ice Line and Preserve-A-Lean.

Hide from elder. But once the pure food law was passed in 1899, Indiana started prosecuting dairymen who put in formaldehyde. But it was very hard to enforce. Oh, no, that's cute. I like how you're a little New York orphan. It's hard to enforce Boy, I hope they enforce it upon him. I almost died

It's hard to enforce as there was no money for cops or a lab to test still So if it's pink then this is for mildehyde. They still they brought a case against Gottlieb Bucci. He was fined a dollar and he but I'm ruined. But they were just using him as a test case to see if they could win and after he was convicted they filed against 11 dairy men but for many the milkman it was cheaper to pay fines than to clean up their dairy farms. You can imagine that. You can imagine that happening in America. So the milk crisis scared people in July 1900 when three babies died in the orphan's home, because of formaldehyde.

The news reported that in the summer of 1899, 30 children had died the same way. And there were no prosecutions for the orphaned baby's death because the dairymen had not complied with sample laws, so they didn't take samples, so there's no way they could. So they were just like, we'll break that law, and then they won't get us, we're breaking that one. Yeah, they're like, you guys need to, here's the deal, if you guys are going to kill babies with formaldehyde, you got to keep a little sample of the milk around. Oh, okay. We forgot. Oh, shit.

Well, that's... It's like they had those babies. I, okay. We forgot. Oh, shit. Well, that's... It's like you had those babies. I guess you walk. Yep. Doop-de-doo. Within two months, another orphan baby died. When this didn't cause massive change in 1901, John said, 464 children under five had died just in the month of July, not just from formaldehyde, but also from dirty milk. He called for daily

inspections and sanitation. In August 1901, the news reported testing showed dairymen were so frightened by prosecution that they stopped using formaldehyde. Dave, she's texting. That's how into the show she is. Yeah, yeah, it's good. I get it. Who are you texting? I've been taking notes. Is it the babysitter. Who are you texting? I've been taking notes. Is it the babysitter?

Who are you texting? Is it the babysitter? Is it because of the... Are you like, don't drink milk? Are you like... Don't you let that kid near milk, goddammit. Don't feed him the manure that I left in the fridge. Don't give him the gummy worms.

So they stopped using formaldehyde, but as soon as the crisis blew over, they started using formaldehyde again. Nice as the crisis blew over they started using formaldehyde again. Nice. The system works. Yes, yes. You keep shitting on it, but it keeps working. As far as smallpox, it was still in the state.

In 1903, people just kind of stopped caring. Wow. What? Most realized they would not die of smallpox. What? So they just went about their business. What? Most realized they would not die of smallpox. What? So they just went about their business. What? What?

Smallpox. What? That year there was a new governor, Winfield Durbin, and he was all about the economy. Nice. That's right. He wanted to run for the Senate. So he wanted to be able to say that he created a strong economy.

And during all this time, John is pushing for a vaccine, a smallpox vaccine, for everyone in the state, but the governor said it was too expensive. And that'll be a problem for my bottom line. He liked to say he was saving taxpayers money. Yeah, which is what it's all about. 1903 then turned out to be the worst year for the smallpox epidemic. And John gave the governor a plan to deal with it, and the governor responded that the Board of Health spent more money than any other part of the government.

Yeah, we're fucking filthy, Apple. Come on now. Pretty bad. And then he ordered them audited. The board said they were actually handicapped by a lack of spending. Quote, evidence points to the fact that Governor Durbin is exerting every effort to evade the expenditure of legislative appropriations, some of which are under his direct control, so that when the proper time comes for launching his senatorial

boom, he can make the race on the fact that his administration was conducted at small expenditure. So many are like... So government government. Government government. So then a lot of people are like, well, that's kind of ridiculous that a governor is trying to dictate what the Board of Health should do to handle an epidemic. It's funny that that sounded ridiculous at one time.

And the state medical association officially backed John. And then Kentucky is now considering closing its border to Indiana because of all the small pox. Relax over there. It would never actually, I've been there, I would never do that. Yeah, Kentucky for the win again. Fried chicken now this. Two, baby.

Put it in the rafters. Kentucky, we did it again. Did what? How many times Kentucky gonna bail your ass out? What the fuck are you talking about? We keep doing this shit. Doing what? Bailing you out, loser.

How? Because we win all the time. We're the fucking hero. What are you talking about? We keep doing this shit. Doing what? Bailing you out, loser. How? Cause we win all the time. We're the fucking hero. What are you talking about? That's why Marvel Studios is located in Kentucky, motherfucker. What? We keep saving the world.

But we win it. Jesus Christ. Stupid ass. You're the worst. You're the dumbest. Tennessee. What? Damn! Stupid ass. You're the worst. You're the dumbest Tennessee What?

Better not be bringing Tennessee to a Kentucky. Oh, I am you said stupid shit at you fuck you So the medical state medical Association backs John and Kentucky is thinking about closing its borders which makes newspapers freak out and they attack the governor so he finally backs down. And Indiana actually was one of the states with the least amount of smallpox and that was because of John. So now the governor wants John's scalp and he blames the smallpox scare on John and says if he could get rid of the entire board, he would just get rid of John. But he can't do anything. John's in an elected position and he's reelected again. He wants a lab paid for by the government and the people want it and the papers say

they should do it and the legislature passes a bill and then the governor vetoes it because he's petty. And John becomes a big proponent of pasteurization which drastically drops the number of deaths because it kills germs in milk without killing the baby. But then you don't get that chewy bottom at each bottom. Pretty gross. So that also causes a big fight. And one reason was because in 1898, the American Pediatric Society put out a statement saying feeding babies pasteurized milk caused scurvy.

That's why you got a lemon. In 1905 the next governor finally signed off on building a state lab. So traveling around the state seeing the conditions of people and how they lived, particularly rural people, John came to a conclusion. Rice quote, it was not until John had become the state health officer and had observed the stupidity of mankind, the worthlessness and the filthiness of certain classes of people that it became really greatly interested in the subject. Of course, talking about eugenics. I fucking... We had a hero!

God damn it. It was going so well. It was. I was like, this guy's awesome. Yeah, he was a really good one. Yeah. Well, here we go. John began writing articles with titles

like Making a Better Race, and of course the classic morons. Which is an article I would write today, to be quite honest. Morons. In 1905, he got a law passed for marriage applicants. They had to answer a list of questions to determine if they were worthy to have children. Oh my god. Those with contagious diseases were denied marriage licenses as were quote imbeciles, feeble-minded, idiotic, or insane people. And who's judging this? It's from the board. The questions. Right,

but okay. He pushed for an Indiana eugenics law which was passed in 1907. Oh, Jesus Christ. This was the first law... Kentucky! You're back, baby! You're back! I like your caves. You got good caves.

This was the first law providing for legal, surgical, genital sterilization to be passed by any state in the history of the world. Hey. Remember when you were all excited about having the first food? Look at you now. Look at you now. Yeah, it's pretty cool. That's awesome for you guys.

It's pretty cool. That's awesome for you guys. It's awesome. Eugenics sterilization laws were passed in many other states after Indiana. So you're first. John was elected president of the American Health Association in 1911. At the annual meeting in D.C. he gave his address on rural hygiene. Papers reported he started by saying, quote, the American... We should take their balls. Quote, the American farmer stinks.

I'm listening. He was attacked in papers. People called him a fool, a crank, a publicity seeker, a sensationalist, and an enemy of the people. That year he gave many speeches on eugenics. Quote, a child born of weak parents, those parents having received their weakness by inheritance, will itself be weak in the same way. Idiots breed idiots.

In 1912 he became president of the American Public Health Association. In 1915 the Democratic legislature passed a bill giving the Democratic governor power to choose who led the board of health. And John was Republican, so his career is in limbo. And John's colleagues held an honorary dinner for him, and hundreds of people came from all over the world. But people loved John, and the governor couldn't get rid of him, and soon said, quote, I am a herdie man. Indiana's eugenics law was declared unconstitutional by the state court in 1921. Okay.

That's kind of... Kentucky not clapping, by the way, so I'm not sure what... Ha! I'm all over the map now. John served as the Secretary of the Board of Health until the next year, and then he ran for the Indiana House of Representatives. Now he's off. Served one term.

So he kept writing about sanitation and eugenics as a columnist for the Indianapolis News until he died in March of 1925. From smallpox. From smallpox. Boy, what a ride. What a ride? So you just can't get old.

That's kind of what it is in a way, right? He was always kind of like. He was on the, he was always. The brink? Yeah, he was always on the brink. Like he was always, there was no indication that he was like well people are people he was like look at these ones yeah right fucking but then also like the quote of like people are stupid I'm like well there's a lot of dummies yeah I like it

just not bread into you it's like it's education and stuff well I think like people thinking that people are stupid And if you ask like if you ask people in this country, do you think half of the country's stupid? That would be like a hundred percent. It's just where do people think they're stupid? Yes It's like fifty percent think the other fifty percent is totally stupid. Yeah, so we all think the other stupid Right pretty much right? I mean the country. No, I think they're all stupid. I don't. No, but I'm saying if you were to do a poll of those people.

Do you think that some, do you think 50% of the country's stupid? 100% of us would be like, yeah, they're stupid. Yeah, but I. Or you would just disagree on which 50% is stupid. I am more. Yeah, you are rare. 80% of the people are stupid.

Yeah, yeah. The people are like, aren't they stupid? Dave, you'd be like, you're also stupid. They'd be like. I'm trying to be like your buddy. That's a guy, a guy goes, man, those guys are dummy. Turns out to me and goes, right. And I go, you're fucking dumb too. They're dumb and you're dumb. Dumbass. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so yeah, I mean, it is just remarkable how we are don't change, don't change. People are people. People are idiots. And we are just begging to... just begging to be done with. Pleading. I just have been pleading the whole time. I just love the idea that smallpox came and after like four years they're like that's fine. It's just smallpox.

Yeah, but you of all people are like... No, but I would think there would be a version of a disease where you would go, that one's the bad one. I'm gonna get... We'll do our best to get rid of it. But the second that you ask people to like change shit for like years... No. I mean, now it's like not years. Yeah. But the second that it's like three years, people are like, I mean, like, I remember when my buddy was like, I'm done with COVID. And I was like, I don't think that's how this works.

I exonated. Yeah. I'm just, I'm not doing it anymore. Turn my back on it so it can't get me. Well, it'll get you. Are there any statues of this guy or anything? So now there's kind of, there's a plaque. plaque. There's a plaque about the Eugenics Law. Oh, there's a plaque about the Eugenics.

At the Eugenics Lab? Law. Oh, I was like, Jesus, you guys kept it going? Like, listen. Ah! We're not shutting doors on anything here just yet. Had he not jumped into the Eugenics pool, he would have been one of the greats in health in American history.

But he then destroyed his... now you can't honor him, because you're like, oh, he did do so much. Well, he came down with old white man. Came down with old white man. Well, it's time. I'm 62. Yeah, exactly Well, I hit 60 well listen, I mean with it reason I'm just saying different pools. It's not that bad The

sources Deborah Blum, battling the scourge of and bombed milk, a story from our past. Jennifer Burke Pierce, Indiana's public health pioneer in history's iron pan, recollecting the professional idealism of John Herty and Thurman Rice, the Hoosier Health Officer, a biography of Dr. John N. Herty and the history of the Indiana State Board of Health to 1925. You know, after listening to that story about how germs are transferred and safety and cleanliness and hygiene, I wonder if I should have eaten those two strangers' Burmese food with my hand. No.

You basically, you're like the guy just slamming bowls of peanuts at the bar when everyone's like, I think I'm going to start spitting on floors. Well listen, thank you very much for coming out. We appreciate everybody. Thank you. Take care. Thank you. Take care. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.