The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 638 - The Billington's
Episode Date: June 18, 2024Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine America's first crime family Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources   Squarespace Lectric Bikes Robot-Liter - Promocode DOLLOP   ...
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Alright everybody, so listen as you probably know I travel a lot a ton always on the road always staying in places and
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Not Gary Gara, okay, someone or something is tickling
And this is not gonna come to tickling podcast. Okay
Queen fakie of made-up town all hell queen shit of lies bill a bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi,
Gary. No, I said done, my friend. No, no.
This is the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast
where each week I, Dave Anthony, re-history from American history some some stuff about you
Can we get some stuff about you a contradictory mean person?
Gareth Reynolds mega
What I'll mega now
No, no, that's not no we're not yeah. No, you can't just all of a sudden.
You don't want it to be great again?
Not in that way.
Like.
Well, don't get to know.
We're no, we can't have this.
Can't be crossfire.
Like, oh, buddy, we're doing the crawl up.
Good work.
All right.
All right, you start.
What are your stupid liberal views?
I'm going to cut them down. I'm not a liberal. Oh, yeah, I am. I right. You start. What are your stupid liberal views? I'm going to cut them down.
I'm not a liberal.
What? Yeah, I am.
I'm the leftist.
It's tough to work with. It's not easy.
Why did you become MAGA?
Merch. I love the merch.
They have good merch.
They have way better merch.
The Congressional baseball game was on television yesterday.
And are they playing?
In a stadium, and it's Congress people playing, and one of the pitchers has a MAGA hat on.
And I really just couldn't. I just...
How many people went to that?
There were a lot. There was a charity event, so there were actually too many people there.
See, these are the sort of...
It's also so funny that they are like, we're going to raise money for something.
It's like, yeah, you know what else you could do?
Give it.
Give it.
You know, portion it out for this group.
The announcers were like, well, this is the kind of event that could really bring the two
sides together and create a difference in this country. No, by the way, behind closed doors,
these two sides are already together. Gareth, we have a Patreon. If you want to enjoy this show ad
free, you can check out Patreon. Should Well, Dave, should I tell everyone?
Yeah.
So, we're trying to get to, we're trying to up the subs on the old Patreon. We're trying
to get ourselves to 10,000 subs, okay? Just like Jersey Mike's. And one of the things
we're going to do if we get there is you and I, and I haven't even told you about this
update. No but what we should do is we're not just gonna sit there and watch one
Steven Seagal movie no yes no we should make a day of it and we should watch
doing three what are you doing right now we should watch three you can't just I'm
springing it do two things like this without I'm talking to me first bringing it
Are you in or are you out? No?
Why come on this is a patreon no
No, we'll watch under siege
We'll watch above the law does every one of his movies start with a preposition and then what's the other one on deadly ground?
Mmm Big you found the guy you found it also And then what's the other one on deadly ground? Hmm. He's a big preposition guy.
You found it.
Also we want to thank everyone who's joining us on our YouTube.
We've got a bunch of good stuff on there and you can go to the dollop podcast.
Yeah, they got the other one got stuff.
Yeah, taken down, but I'm sure he's putting him up on Rumble.
Let him have it.
Let him have it.
I mean, were we really going to engage on Rumble that much?
No.
I don't think so.
Around 1852.
These are my favorite.
Why are you leaving the camera?
I had to put on the podcasting hat.
Okay. So listen, I put on the podcasting hat. Okay.
So listen, I'm not sure what to say about this.
I put on my podcasting hat.
Take it off.
This is Dave.
This can't be here.
The year of our Lord, Jaytown.
Dave.
John Billington was born in England.
This is so stupid.
It was a rough time in England.
There were wars, religious turmoil, overpopulation, terrible inflation.
Well, it sounds very similar.
The next decade brought infighting and scarcity and economic hardship and there was war in
Ireland. It's just a mess.
It's a disaster.
Sure.
So we don't know anything about John Billington's early years.
Nothing at all.
We do know that in 1603, he married Eleanor Lockwood.
She's 21.
And they have two sons, crank out a couple of boys,
John Jr. in 1604 and then Francis a couple years later.
And then that's it.
They don't have any more kids, very rare for the time.
Usually people had 60 to 70 and two kids and done,
two and out.
So they live in Lincolnshire and-
Is that why you're wearing that stupid hat because of Lincoln
It's not a stupid hat. What is it a Beefeater hat? It's real dumb. It's a professional
podcasting at and
Real dumb they're on the they live on the edge of where you get in a hat like that
And you need to buy top hats anywhere.
Why did you get it?
Because I am a podcaster. Okay.
And things only became more difficult.
Not much hope that they would get any better in England and just looked like bad.
Sure.
Yeah.
So John starts to think that maybe immigration is the way out of this situation.
Oh, okay.
Boy, I was really, I thought it was going to be an immigrant hating start, but he wants
to be an immigrant.
He wants to emigrate.
He wants to emigrate, right.
Colonizing America did not have a good track record at that point.
Roanoke, obviously a disaster.
There's a recent, there had been a small, quick one in Maine that lasted a whole winter
and that was it.
A whole what?
Winter.
There was a colony that lasted just in and out.
Oh, right.
Colonies were just dying because everyone was dying.
Yeah.
It was not good.
The Virginia colony at this point is like a death camp.
People are just dying.
They die from the ocean crossing, from exposure, from starvation.
There's diseases, then there's fighting with the locals that live there.
Sure.
So odds are if you go with four people, one of them is not going to survive.
Probably two, right?
Okay.
Those are like the numbers.
So in the summer of 1620, some well-off businessmen in London start recruiting people to colonize.
Quote, the northern parts of Virginia.
The best part.
Okay.
So, right.
So you're just, yes, right.
Yeah.
The men who are the rich men of Richmond.
So you're basically just, they're just like, we'll get you there.
Are they going to give you something?
Okay, so the men, these businessmen, they paint it as like this place of abundance and
there's all these animals you can hunt.
There's no way for I mean, it's just like if you like if you go to like like you go to your hotel
And it's trash
Very quickly like hey, so knit. Yeah, you know, this is like you are like what?
And those businessmen are just like yeah, they're probably gonna die. Hey, how good is money?
Once you get them there, that's it. They're fucked, right?
Yeah.
They're not going to chance another ship across the ocean where you could buy.
By the way, as I'm even saying this, the fact that this still happens today is now entering
the forefront of my mind.
Yeah.
It's never.
So that's cool.
So yeah, so they're saying it's a great place.
And John Billington is like, okay, I mean, sounds good.
They, did you hear what they had to say about this magical land they call Virginia?
There are deer so plentiful that they have apples growing on them.
Deer apples?
Why, they've got everything over there.
They've got a rainbow river.
They've got gumdrop trees.
Virginia.
There's other stuff.
They have other stuff.
Yeah, what?
Why they've got delicious vines that are tasty.
Regular vines. What's growing on delicious vines that are tasty, regular vines.
You can eat the vines like spaghetti. They're just regular vines.
Come over this way.
Look at these thorny trees.
Imagine navigating these.
Come on.
Over this way.
Look at this.
Why this river is polluted.
It's full of dead fish. Come over here. Let
me grant you a wish in Virginia. In Virginia.
So of course there's a hitch.
There's sweet gumdrops. Those are the crops in Virginia.
Hey, do you like fruit?
Yeah, I like apples and oranges.
There's not much here in Virginia.
Hey, have a handful of dirt.
Put some down your skirt in Virginia.
I don't have a skirt.
Want to buy a skirt?
Well, come over here.
There's nothing except coldness and fear in Virginia.
That's not a good selling point.
Look, we're not going to be able to get to the ocean
because this land is locked.
I hope you understand that we'll be beating each other's
with rocks in Virginia.
It's on the ocean.
Well, that's tough to hear.
What an interesting trend.
Pretty soon you're going to be eating your friend in Virginia.
In Virginia.
So of course there's a hitch to this whole thing and that is that for the cost of shipping
them over, providing them with food and a share of the profits once there, you sign
a contract that binds your entire family to
labor in the colony until 1627. So seven years.
Wait, what year are we starting though? I thought you said 18 something.
1620.
Oh, okay. I think you started by saying 18 something. So in the 1600s.
Did I?
Yeah.
That's possible. Yeah, 1620.
Okay.
So, at seven years, the whole family, he signs up the whole family.
Karen Racine, quote, for the duration of their partnership with the investors, the
Billingtons and their fellow colonists would work six days per week for the company.
All profits from trade, traffic, trucking, workinging working fishing or any other man's would remain in the common stock
Even the houses and gardens were to be included in the assets due to be divided after seven years
So all money goes back to the company in England, right?
And then and the things you build the houses and the the horses that are you know made and the cows that are made
That is all common property after seven years when you're all free houses and the horses that are made and the cows that are made,
that is all common property.
After seven years, when you're all free, then you split that stuff up.
Jared Ranere So you basically are seven years a slave,
and then at the end of that, you are...
Pete Slauson You do get it.
You get something.
Unlike a...
Jared Ranere You get your stuff, but you will basically
have seven awful years.
Yeah.
And then at the end, you're allowed to keep what you sowed.
Basically, yeah.
And if the colony is profitable, that means they're expanding and they're getting more
land and stuff.
So ideally, when you're done, you do get a nice chunk of something.
Okay.
Ideally.
Some thought the terms were, quote, fitter for thieves and bond slaves than honest men.
Right.
But to someone like John, the possibility of getting out of the hell that is England
and actually having a shot at a better life down the road is worth it
because if he stays in England,
it's just the rest of his life.
He's got a chance.
Yeah, you have a chance.
There's a little bit of a sliver of hope.
But then the Billingtons get on the ship
and right away they discover that most of the other
passengers are not normal people like themselves, but religious radicals.
Separatists from Holland who had 10 years before
fled England.
Yush.
Because they don't like the angelican church.
There's some difference that I don't care about.
Right.
What's weird is the hats become normal.
Mm-hmm, welcome to it. By the way, it's a great hat.
And so. No, it's not. It looks like what you would put a
child in if he were gonna be a mayor in Hello Dolly. So, right,
a great hat. So, these people are very persecuted. That's
why they, that's why they live. So, the, right, when people
are persecuted, eh, it caused a lot of issues and a lot of psychological
issues.
So following, they're following the pastor, John Robinson, they decide that their lives
in Holland are not going to get better.
They're just bleak.
So they're going to try to go to America and start anew. It was a hard decision to come to.
They were worried about, quote, the miseries of the land,
which would probably consume to utterly ruinate them.
So they have really, it's a little bar.
Yeah, they're not.
This is not optimistic.
This could get pretty cool.
They're like, it's probably going to be awful,
and most likely will die. But hey, whatever. Yeah, the could get pretty cool. They're like, it's probably going to be awful and most likely we'll die, but hey, whatever.
Yeah, the land's going to kill us over there.
We're just fucked.
Hey, let's die over there.
Yeah, better than Holland.
That's kind of the choice, yeah.
They also signed a seven-year contract.
So all this meant they can't find enough volunteers because nobody really wants to do this.
Just sounds like a bad idea.
So the investors, that's when they go, they think they can get all of these separatists,
but then even those people aren't getting on board.
So that's when they go over to England and they're like, hey, poor people.
So that's how they get the volunteers for the rest of them. So, they have half Separatists and half, you know, like normal folk.
The worst part-
Is that where Norfolk comes from?
Just don't ever again.
The worst part is that-
Houses, seems like it.
Nope.
The worst part is that John Billington is devoted to the Church of England, so he has
zero in common with these heretics. They're
the bad guy. And they haven't been in England for 10 years. So there's like a little bit
of right cultural difference. So on the ship, immediately they all the separatists are like,
these guys are suspicious, these Billington types. They call them strangers. That's what they call people from the outside, not part of the cult.
Sure.
And unfortunately, John can't walk away.
He gets on the ship.
He's like, imagine you get on a ship and it's just all these evangelicals and you're like,
oh, I don't want to do this.
No, it's not that he's at sea.
The ship is still docked.
He signed a contract.
He can't. Could you just's not that he's at sea. The ship is still docked. He signed a contract.
He can't. Could you just walk away? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Remember, this
is when you could go to prison for debt. So who knows what they do. You'd probably go
to jail if you broke a contract. I would assume. By the way, of all of his options, jail seems
the best. Better. Yeah. So that's why he he stuck there and then things don't start out
Well, the two ships go out and then they and then they were turned to port twice because in such bad shape and leaking
so
It's a bad sign for the company or sounds like flying
So they're eating all their food because the ships keep stopping and it's taking a while,
all this stuff.
So please say they reration.
They don't just go like, well, all right.
Well they can't reration because these people brought their own food.
Oh Jesus Christ.
So they probably don't have, like the Billingsons don't have that much money.
They're eating their, what are they going to be, supplies through the winter.
They're eating it.
So everyone on board starts getting a little freaked out that they won't have any food
when they get there.
So separatist Robert Cushman wrote that with the lack of food and the quote, un-united
passenger, that violence would break all.
I gotta say, we've heard a lot of awful journeys
on this show, and I can always,
at this point I see them coming pretty clearly.
Yeah.
Like I know when it's like, so they're like sending
some guy to be like, go make a road, in a park,
we've never been, this sounds as badly teed up as an adventure can be.
No, this is terrible.
This is a terrible start.
The fact, even just going to start a colony in the US is bad, but the idea that they're
already eating their boat spaghetti is not good.
Yeah, the BS.
The Mayflower ends up leaving alone without the other ship because the other ship's in
such bad shape.
Oh, this is the Mayflower?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
I missed that.
I didn't say it yet.
Oh, okay.
So-
Well, then this is a big fucking deal.
Okay.
So, there's 102 passengers.
There's 37 crew members, half of the passengers are separatists
and they're very unified.
All the other people don't know each other and they're like no connection whatsoever.
So they ended up going to Northern Virginia, but not going to Northern Virginia.
That's where their patent is.
So they're supposed to go to Northern Virginia.
So they end up not going.
What do you mean their patent is? So they're supposed to go to Northern Virginia. So they end up not going. And instead they go to...
What do you mean their patent is?
You get a patent for your colony from the king or the company or whatever.
I think the king gives you a patent.
And so you have a select time of your patent.
You have a 10-year patent for this land that you can go here, right? Yeah.
You know who we should have gotten for this episode is Pat Oswald.
He'd been...
I'm not frozen.
I'm just staring.
No, I know.
No, I see you blinking.
So yeah, so it's not where they expect to go.
And so they go to Cape Cod and George's Bank and European fishermen have been going there
since like the 1500s.
So they knew there was lots of fishing to be had there.
But that meant they're not landing in the Church of England-friendly Virginia.
So the people on the ship who are not the separatists, they're
like, well, at least when we get there, we'll be surrounded by people like us, other angelicans.
And now they're going to a place where nobody is.
How hard is it to fake just being a separatist? Couldn't you just be like, couldn't you get
on that boat and just be like, oh, finally, some other separatists?
I don't think you would because you don't believe in it.
Is it just your personal conviction? You were just like, since God's watching, like, you're like, I'm right. These
how hard it would be for you to fake being an evangelical for three months. Not hard. If I was
like, well, if I was like going on a boat and I'm like, these people might eat me, dude, without
question, I'd be like, what's your, what's your favorite? What's your favorite song and Mark?
My favorite song and Mark. My favorite Psalm and Mark?
Uh-huh.
Hamel.
Did you guys hear that Psalm starts with a P?
Isn't that crazy?
So number one, I think they all know each other.
And number two, I think they would test you.
That's where my problem comes in.
Yeah, and then you're fucked.
The testing.
Yeah.
So they get there, and as soon as the anchor drops,
the Billingtons are an issue.
According to the book American Murder, quote,
straight away the Billingtons started causing trouble. According to the book American Murder, quote, straight away the Billingtons started causing trouble.
Even before the newly arrived immigrants
could move onto Plymouth Rock, Francis almost sank the ship
when he fired a gun near an uncovered barrel of gunpowder
and set fire to a cabin.
Well, what the fuck is he doing?
I mean, I'm like, they're our POV, but what is he doing? I mean, I'm like, there are POV, but what
is he doing? What the fuck? He's 13. Plymouth Rock. What are you doing boy? Get the gun
out of his. He's shooting a gun inside like you do. What? Your gunpowder. Remember, this
is a gun that goes, and there's smoke and it's like a whole thing. It's not like a little
pistol. It's like a giant blowy up his thing.
I mean, that's not good. That's not helpful.
By the way, they say move on a Plymouth Rock. No one could move on a Plymouth Rock because
Plymouth Rock is like the size of like a dining table. It's not a big rock.
Wow. No rock has done more with less.
Yeah. It's really been overblown.
Yeah. So, so not a great start.
A Pilgrim quote, on the fifth day, we, through God's mercy, escaped a great danger by the
foolishness of a boy, one of Billington's sons, who in his father's absence had got
gunpowder and there being a following piece charged, fouling, fouling piece charged in his father's cabin,
shot her off in the cabin,
there being a barrel of powder half full scattered
in and about the cabin and many people about the fire,
and yet by God's mercy no harm was done.
See, then I would be like, see, that's angelicans.
We shot it. Yeah.
God decided, and they'd be like, no, no, no, the separatists. Our Lord
looked over us and made sure that we weren't hit with the gun
powder from your foolish child.
That's exactly how it works.
By the way, I've shot off in a cabin before.
Lord, come on. It's gross. Let's have some fun. It's gross. Let's
enjoy ourselves. We're a little lock. Hey, need I remind you?
Need I remind you? We're the little lock. Hey, need I remind you, need I remind you,
we're the bad boys, okay?
We are the bad boys.
So let me remind you a little something, okay buddy?
If you got this little sort of vanilla attitude,
take it and shove it up your a-hole.
Cause that's not the bad boy attitude.
Don't bring up the stupid hat.
Don't bring up the dumb hat.
Shut up about the stupid hat.
Bad boys in top hats is what it's called.
The hat is dumb and stupid
The only thing dumber than the hat is the man in it
So like I said the non separatists are not happy that they're not in Virginia, right
some gave quote
discontented and mutinous speeches. They said they would use their own liberty
and no one had the right to command them.
The patent was Virginia, not here, quote,
which belonged to another government.
So they're like, this place we shouldn't even be.
There's no laws.
It's another government's fucking land.
It's not ours.
The patent's not for here.
Also, the Church of England is much bigger over there.
Okay.
So I'd be nervous.
This speech they're saying, they're basically saying because of this change, they can walk
away from the seven year contract.
They said this is breaking the contract.
We can walk away from the contract.
Because they just, really, at the end of the day, they do not want to live in a colony
that's just dominated by religious lunatics.
And then they knew that their religion would, you know, they'd get nothing, right?
It would just be all the separatists. So the separatists respond by drafting
what is known as the Mayflower Compact.
And this is something that people in America love.
It's like the first democratic agreement, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, I love this.
So all males sign it.
Everybody on the ship, all the dudes.
sign it, everybody on the ship, all the dudes.
But guys like John, if they didn't sign it, they would have been screwed, because it would have meant
that they didn't get a share of stuff,
like the share of food and gunpowder and supplies.
Like if they didn't sign it, they would have gotten nothing.
They'd just be like, oh, contract's over,
and I'd go off into the woods. So they signed this thing, and they would die
without all that stuff.
So the Compact also gives people like Billington
a little bit of hope that they would have some say
in the politics of the place,
because they created this new thing
called the civil body politics.
They're like, well, we're on it, so we'll get some say, but in truth, they're outnumbered.
So a month after arriving, Francis climbs a tree on top of a hill.
Jesus, this kid's a problem.
This kid's a problem already.
And he's looking around.
He's looking.
He's checking stuff out, gets up there, and he sees, quote, a great sea. He sees a big body of water. He's sees, quote, a great sea.
He sees a big body of water.
He's like, there's a great sea.
Does he not?
Yeah, but that's...
I can see it from my tree.
Does that not what got them there?
Well, he thinks he sees a different, like a bay or something.
Oh, he thinks it's the second ocean.
Or a bay or like another body.
Yeah, something else.
Okay.
So a bunch of colonists hike three miles and it's the middle of winter and they find it,
but it's not a sea.
It's just a couple of lakes.
Big lakes.
Sure.
Fish and birds, you know, the usual.
Today that is known as Billington Sea.
Oh boy.
So it got named.
Sure. So the winter- And it's a lake? Yes, two lakes. Known as Billington see oh boy, so it got named sure
So the winter like
Yes, two lakes. It's a very sarcastic name for yo. Yeah, 100% It's sarcastic name. Yeah, welcome to idiot Creek
Yeah, that's basically what they did
So the winter is hard. It's a very hard winter by the time. It's over only about 50 people are still alive
And that includes the Billy did all. All four Billingtons survived.
Okay.
Six of 22 families were completely gone.
Another six had lost a parent and six others, there was just an orphan that survived.
It's dark.
Yeah.
Okay.
In the spring, John Jr. gets lost in the, he goes off into the wilderness and gets lost.
That's not surprising.
No, it's not.
Why?
Like, they...
I don't understand.
Okay.
So, is he lost, lost?
Yeah, he's lost, lost.
They can't find him.
He ends up being gone for five days.
He's out there eating berries to survive and anything else he can find.
And so they sent 10 colonists to search for him.
How old is he?
He is, I think he's about 14 or something.
Okay.
No, he's a little bit older.
He's 15, I think.
So obviously the colonists don't like this because they have fucking shitload of work
to do. They're always working to survive.
But they sent tennis search for him.
And John Jr. ends up with the Nosset tribe.
And that is a tribe that had attacked the Mayflower landing party in December.
So then the colonists learn that they find out he's with the local tribe and they send
heavily armed med to the tribe's village.
But they quickly realized that they really screwed up because quote, the savages here
came very thick amongst us.
So there's a ton of them, right?
It's their place. They live there and they've. So there's a ton of them. Because it's their place.
They live there and they've been living there for a while.
So there's gonna be a few.
You just moved there to die.
Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's a bad idea.
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But they don't kill them.
Um, and then a little while after a chief rolls in on a canoe and he's got
John jr. In the canoe. He also brings about a hundred more dudes with him and
But they said half his men were unarmed and they also weren't pointing their arrows They were just like totally casual. So they knew they weren't gonna get killed and
John jr. Was handed over he had beads around his neck
They treated him well, and
the chief maid then makes peace with the colonists.
Great.
So it's a good thing you went off there.
Yeah, basically.
I mean, yeah.
So the colonists, however, are not happy.
I like the idea that if he comes back, he's all like kind of zenned out Phil Jackson-y
after five days over there.
Yeah.
Mother, relax.
The earth is going to work with us no matter what we do.
Just look at my beads.
I think the best part of this is that your version
of a Zen dude is a basketball coach.
Well, no.
My white version of a Native American spiritual embracers,
Phil Jackson, because he would be like,
they call it Pamanak.
It's not Richard Gere.
No, no, because he's, no, no.
I mean more like, Phil Jackson was way more into the native.
Yes.
Pseudo, yes.
Yes.
LA.
LA, yeah.
LA spiritual, you know.
The best card.
Yeah.
Yeah, B, it really is beads.
Yeah, beads, and you get the wristband. I've got these beads and a walking stick. And. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like they're really the Billingsons, they're not fucking happy with the billing. But they because of them, there's like peace.
Well, there is peace.
Yeah.
Are at that point, there's the idea that you're going to nitpick and like, it's like, there's
so much give it to them.
I think it's already cleared land and like ready for cry.
Okay, right.
I think it's like, yeah, right.
So the next year, the investors don't like what's going on.
They're like, there's too much Puritan shit happening out there.
Right.
Right.
So they send an evangelical, evangelical minister, John Leifert, to sort of take a little bit
control and break up the Puritan control.
Like, he goes in with an agenda. It's wild the factions here. Yeah. Like, just be like, man, we got a Puritan problem. Send
an evangelical there. That makes sense. That'll work.
So there's a struggle between the separatists and the non-separatists. The non-separatists
do not like the religious, economic, and political restrictions that
are being put on them by these religious types.
If you can imagine that in-
Shocking.
No.
So there's a showdown and Governor Bradford, who is a separatist, accuses Leifert of plotting
a reformation. Okay.
And there's a trial.
And during the trial, the Leifert and his,
whatever, co-conspirator, whatever the guy is,
he names John Senior as basically a snitch.
Okay.
And he's like, this guy's informing us of all this stuff.
And John Senior is like, sometimes I went to meetings because I had to, but I'm not
a snitch.
Okay.
He's clearly snitching.
Okay.
But in the end, this lifer plot fails and he and the other leader are banished.
They're kicked out of the colony.
So that leads to a few other non-separatist colonists being like, okay, I can't take this
shit.
I'm fucking out of here.
And so now there's even a bigger percentage of-
Just rolling.
Puritans.
Where are they going?
I think there are now other colonies. So maybe the Massachusetts,
they're showing up there, but the Massachusetts Bay colonies also run by,
you know, Puritan. So right. Who knows?
Remember there's also Thomas Morton who went off and started a little party
house.
Remember the guy who on the, we did a live episode, he was like, if this guy had been
the guy who started our colonies, this would be a completely different country.
Thomas Martin.
He was like, he was like, party with Native Americans and like, hey, gay sex is okay.
He was just like, it was like San Francisco.
Or old San Francisco before it got ruined. Oh, wow. Yeah, it got really awkward. You're one of those guys, huh?
I am yeah
So the Billingtons don't go though, they're one of the people and the reason they don't go is because you're walking away from your possible
future fortune, right?
Yes future fortune, right? When the seven years are up. Yes.
How long have they been there now?
I think it's like five years they've been there.
They put in a lot of work.
Yeah, I would finish it out. But
those people are like, yeah, but then I'm still stuck
in the colony with these assholes, but I have
you know, so I get both sides.
Yeah. They had already
been, the Billingsons of Art were
already just like before the trial, before
he was named as a snitch, and now they're just seen as completely at odds with the Puritan
pious colonists.
Sure.
But they still stay.
Probably because they're, oh sorry, three years, they're three years away from the Division
of Properties.
They put it four years.
Yep.
And to walk away, it's just like you're literally just starting from scratch.
So after the trial, there are even more bad feelings toward the Billingtons.
And the next year, John Sr. has a conflict with Puritan Robert Cushman.
No one knows, a lot of the records aren't, you know, they don't write it down. So no one knows exactly what the the conflict was.
But Governor Bradford wrote to Robert Cushman and warned him that, quote,
Billington stale rails against you and threatens to arrest you.
I know not wherefore he is a knave and so will live and die.
What's he saying? I think he's saying, he's not one of us and he's just going to live and die and that's
going to be it.
He's not going to go to heaven or whatever.
Oh, shit.
I think so.
I think I could be totally wrong.
He also with the billing, the Billingtons, the whole crew were being punished all the
time.
So definitely not all their stuff is being recorded because he's like, we're constantly
having to deal with these fuckers.
Like they're white trash.
This is the white trash family.
Sure.
Of course, now someone's mad because he's white trash.
I know.
Yeah, me.
I read the book.
I did a whole podcast on it.
It's just-
Read what book?
Of course, not everyone disliked Billington's American
hero Thomas Morton said John jr. was beloved by many. And that is backed up by the fact
that when those people left, two of them gave all their land to John senior. Oh shit. So he was clearly, so the only records we have
are from the Puritan leaders and stuff.
So they're writing how much they hate him,
but clearly people-
Even then they're giving it up.
Okay, so he's got way more land now.
Yeah.
So most of the, yeah, and they're religious lunatics, right? So they're writing, the shit
they're writing about him is just nuts. So the colony, it turns out is not making any
money. They're not turning the profit that the company wanted. control in 1626.
And that's a year away from when they...
The division.
Yeah.
Now the only reason you do that is if you are
in control of the colony and you wanna
fuck the other people over in the colony.
So the land and cattle are all divided up
and John does not get what he was supposed
to get based on if the contract ran out and what he agreed to and been working for for
six years.
They were, because the people keep arriving, so they're like, the first comers are like
supposed to be really fucking set, but he gets the smallest
percentage per capita allotment in the colony.
Okay.
So you didn't get the land you were already on?
Yeah.
I think you get the land you're on, but that's not much land.
They're divvying up more.
Then as far as, right.
Okay.
Like the whole colony is supposed to be divvied up
Yeah, and so he gets like scrap. What's he getting livestock chicken?
I said cut three chickens and a crow which is that's not great. Yeah, anyone want some more crow milk
No, it's the crow the oh my god. Yeah, it's a he gets a superhero type Wow. Yeah
So what he got was a house in the center of Plymouth,
63 acres, a share of the livestock,
and rights to future distribution.
But then that's, like that sounds great to us,
but that's still way less than what he was supposed to get.
Right.
And he's also excluded from any leadership position
because he has a bad reputation
and he's not a member of the church.
Yeah, he's a snitch and he's a shithead according to them.
He also doesn't have enough money to become
what is known as a colony undertaker
and they're the people who financially back stuff
for the colony and handle the trade with England.
So he doesn't have the money for that.
So he's frustrated, he's fucking pissed.
Sure.
And he is one of the people Bradford called, quote, untoward persons which came out of
England, which might endanger to overthrow all now that other ties and bonds are taken
away.
So they're framing him as an enemy.
They're othering him.
A future enemy.
Yeah, 100%.
They're like, well, now that the outside problems are gone, it's these dudes.
Right.
So the CIA.
They're still, because they were persecuted for so long, they're still like this, they
call them the strangers. the strangers, right?
So he's still a stranger.
He's still like not part of the clan.
So Thomas Morton writes that John Senior had found the quote, one place in the whole country
where there was a very useful stone, so much commended by Ovid, and he labored to get a
patent of it to himself.
What did he get?
A stone?
He found precious metal.
Oh, okay.
Man, we love our little shiny fucking things, huh?
We do.
We really do.
We are just...
I'd be excited.
I mean, I guess.
It's so funny.
At some point, we're like, that's pretty.
Kill people for it.
Well, this sounds like a useful metal from what he wrote.
So it's probably iron.
OK.
Because it said it was, Martin wrote
that it could be used to make edging tools.
So it's like a collar.
Yeah, like a collar.
Go ahead.
Like a collar.
Yeah, exactly.
Morton thought John Sr. wanted to keep the profits and not share it with the colony.
And because of that, it appears nothing happened with it.
He didn't want to tell people.
He wanted to be able to corner it for himself, but he probably couldn't get the infrastructure
together to mind it.
So he just was like, fuck it, nobody gets it.
Yeah, so nothing happens.
And then tragedy hits.
John Jr. dies.
We don't know what the cause is.
He's 24.
Being in the 1600s.
Yeah, I mean, yeah.
He's 24, and he'd just gotten land himself.
So he was just starting to, you know, his life.
But you know, people died all the time of disease.
Richard Warren had died around the same times and he was probably still living with him.
And so probably some in their house, right?
Like diarrhea or whatever.
Diarrhea. Okay.
Losing a son, emotionally devastated, obviously. But also, like, that's his retirement because
your kids, back then, that's your social security. That's who, you know, deals with your...
Right. Picks you up.
...mould and can't move.
Yeah. Cleans your diapers.
Throws you in the river so you drown.
Yeah. Wash your stuff. Yup. Exactly. It goesans your diapers. Throws you in the river so you drown. Yeah, washes your stuff.
Yep, exactly.
It goes through your things.
Loots you.
Loots.
Cleans you.
Takes it, cleans you out.
Cleans you, cleans you out.
Cleans you, cleans you out.
Takes your bones.
Yep.
Makes weapons.
Makes weapons from your bones while you're alive.
Yep.
Yep.
All this stuff.
Yep.
Soon after this, they learned a new group of separatists
are coming from Holland. So now it's going to get worse, right? That is a whole new fucking
ship of assholes and they're poor. They're not nobody. None of them have any money. So
coming to Virginia, no coming to Plymouth. Okay, right. So that means more competition for land and wood and current colonists are expected to
support them for up to 18 months until they can get on their feet, right?
Oh man, this is Trump would murder this time.
I guess both of them would actually.
Yeah.
Yeah, this is a total nightmare.
Because he's just kind of gotten, he just got screwed on the divvying up everything.
They're sending their worst.
On top of that, indentured servants keep arriving who are working for the undertaker guys.
So the rich guys are bringing in more people to do more work for them and right.
Private privatizing.
So the whole this is the whole column is tense because of this.
But John has no power to do anything.
And he's he's really at a breaking point.
He's like, I'm fucking done.
So he get, he-
Go to your iron.
I would go to my iron rock,
and fashion myself a hammer or some sort of sword.
A device.
A hammer sword?
Then, yeah, a hammer sword.
Is it a hammer like on one end and a sword on the other?
That's exactly what it is.
Sure.
And then I just, yeah, I would ride on my trusty crow
and just behead the enemies.
Yes.
Those who've wronged me.
Yeah.
So all the, I mean, it's probably a lot,
it's probably like 150 people or 200.
It's nothing.
More at this point.
I have a hammer sword.
Yeah.
I have a swammer I assume they have
guns like they could probably oh shoot you well then I will fashion myself in a
suit made of iron that they won't be able to shoot me with on the back of my
trusty crow you're still on the with my sw. Yeah, I'm still in the crow because awesome. How big are you? I'm my size
With an iron suit
Okay, I just the crows been training the crow will be an iron to iron crow. Ah crowbar will call him. Ah
Crowbar and iron boy boy. Yes
Yeah, you're like 40
Stop Boy. Yes. You're like 40. Stop.
Come on.
This whole age thing is, I'm the time, we've already talked about this.
I'm like a teenager.
On this show.
I was talking about the character you were doing.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm 40.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But for this time, that's, you know, that's all.
I'm Iron Boy.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. So. sure. Yeah, and I'd go around and behead my enemies. Uh-huh
Crow's gonna have to do some school. Yeah. No, it sounds
Pretty like a good plan. Yep. Nobody is thinks it's bad. Nope
um, so john
Got into a disagreement with his neighbor john
Nukerman, but we don't know what it was about.
So everyone's just named John?
Yeah, it's a lot of Johns.
So there's no history of what it was about, but it had been going on for a little while.
At least until 1630, because that's when it ended, because John came across Nuckeman in
a field and shot him dead.
Nice.
Yes.
Yes.
We're taking our enemies out.
Yeah.
One at a time.
Yep.
Historian and clergyman at the time, William Hubbard, quote, the poor fellow perceiving
the intent of this Billington, his mortal enemy, sheltered himself behind trees as well
as he could for a while.
But the other, not being so ill a marksman as to miss his aim, made a shot and struck
him on the shoulder, with which he died soon after.
Jesus.
By the way, you could get there quicker.
I mean, it's a lot of words.
You know what I mean?
One guy hid behind the tree, the other guy shot him in the shoulder, he died.
He's a good shot.
Well, you're not really painting a picture, are you?
It's just a lot, you know?
He didn't behind a shrub.
They had so much time.
There was nothing to watch, there was nothing to do, so you just used words to make everything
go longer.
It's like everything was a cricket match. Yeah.
So, the murderer expected that either for want of power to execute for capital offenses
or for want of people to increase the plantation, he should have his life spared. So he's like,
look, you guys fucked me.
Yeah, I did it. But come on, there's not a lot of us.
I'm pretty good over here.
There's no law.
I killed him through the shoulder.
So come on, what are we doing?
Let's get, come on, let's go back to Tillen.
Also, there's no law to kill me.
There's no capital offense law.
So what are you gonna do?
Come on.
Nothing on the books.
Yeah.
John, so they arranged John.
And then he, two juries, a grand jury and a petty jury.
I never even heard of petty jury.
I mean, we just might have shown him who's boss.
Yeah, we're not that big.
We don't really care.
They find him guilty of willful murder by plain and notorious evidence.
And they sentenced him to death.
Now, this was concerning because he was going to be the first person executed in the colony
and they're not sure what the ramifications would be.
What would all the other non-separatists do?
Would they be mad or I don't know.
I don't know.
A lot of things, I'm sure.
So Governor Bradford reaches out to the leading gentleman of the Massachusetts Bay colony.
Hey, are you guys killing them?
Have you guys killed them?
We're about to kill one of them.
We're killing all kinds of people.
We killed so many.
You are?
Okay.
Yeah.
We're going to kill one of ours because he killed another guy. But we just we just want to make sure that's a bad precedent. Yeah. I would use your
sword hammer if you have one. Oh, we have a swammer. Oh, well then get your swammer out and
just give him a noxie or a stabsie. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You can stabsie. We'll do the crow right in
on him. Great. Yeah. Jesus would have loved that. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yep. You know,
we're finding out Jesus wore a top hat. I don't think we are.
You know, we're finding out Jesus wore a top hat. I don't think we are.
So the Massachusetts Bay colony leaders are all like, yeah, you should kill him and quote,
the land be purged from blood.
Yeah, that's how you get rid of blood.
That's how you get rid of blood. That's how you say it also. So John Billington is hanged on September,
it's September 19th, sorry, 1630.
This is the first murderer in English,
European murderer who killed someone
and got prosecuted and put to death.
So he's our first murderer.
It's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, you really could have,
you really should be able to get off of that.
I agree.
First one out of the gate.
There's never been a better, like, I don't know.
Are we not killing him?
Okay, I'm sorry.
I thought we were doing.
I had no idea.
Nobody told me.
Nobody said anything.
I shot him through the shoulder, by the way.
What kind of weak ass bitch just dies
from a shoulder shot? I was winning the shoulder by the way. What kind of weak ass bitch just dies from a shoulder shot?
I was running the guy
Jesus Christ. I mean take a bullet or like good lord. I didn't know we weren't doing that. Yeah
I did. Yeah now I won't do it again
Let me ask you a question. Yeah, it Jesus if if
If Jesus wanted him around
Why would he? let me shoot him?
Pretty good.
Pretty good, honestly.
Welcome to my court.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Where everything that happens was supposed to happen because religion.
Thank you.
I like it.
So Governor Bradford said they considered this all, quote, a great matter of sadness.
Okay. Although come on, he annoyed the fuck out of them and no one liked non Puritans and they also
killed Thomas Morton for having fun. So yeah, okay, bullshit. Bradford also wrote quote, he and some
of his had often been punished for miscarriages
before being one of the profanist families amongst them.
So no one knows where John Billington is buried, but probably on his property somewhere.
That's just the way they did it back then, just bury on your property.
I like that.
I want to be buried in your property.
You will.
Okay. Okay.
Wait.
Absolutely.
100%.
Eleanor had now lost two members of her family in under three years.
Yeah.
Both John's.
So they're Johnless.
Yep.
Damn.
Francis is now 21.
The 1626 Division of Property had given him 20 acres and he now wanted to find a wife, start his own family.
Sure.
Eleanor did get the traditional widow's
one third of John's property, so she had some property.
Now the normal thing at a time like this
for a woman who was widowed was to find a new husband.
You just get back in the game.
Sure. But she was not having that.
Okay.
And no doubt the Puritans still had nothing but contempt for her and Francis. It's the
name Billington. No one likes the Billingtons. So Francis worked as a part-time carpenter
assistant for Francis Eaton, who had also been on the Mayflower,
and he had gotten married three times.
But then he died in 1633,
and Frances then married Eaton's widow eight months later.
Okay, what, eight months?
Very suspicious.
Oh. Very suspicious.
Right. To me, not to them, but to me.
Eight months is very...
Mm-hmm. Jesus. It's fast. Right to me not to them, but to me eight months is very
Fast she already had three kids. Okay, Rachel Benjamin and one that just recorded as the idiot
Who recorded that it's in the books. I don't know.
We don't know his name because he's just...
So idiot was a separate...
Is that what the doctor said when it was born?
Oh, it's an idiot.
He's trying to climb up out your throat.
You've got an idiot.
Look at this idiot.
That was how they classified people who had mental issues.
Oh, right.
Of course.
Yeah, good times.
So he's not medically...
He's probably not bright or there's something wrong with him.
Sure.
He's handicapped or something.
He's got some sort of issue and they're like, well, this idiot.
That was just what they did.
That's cool.
I probably didn't...
The wind's sort of been taken out of my comedic sails in that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They probably didn't...
Your boy suffers from being an idiot. So... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably didn't do it. Your boy suffers from being an idiot.
So...
Yeah, I knew. You didn't have to say it like that.
Like, it was pretty obvious.
Yeah, medically dumb.
No, I, yeah, you don't have, he's here because he has a stomach ache.
He tested positive for stupid.
He has a stomach ache. We already know all this shit.
We know.
He's got shit in his brains. Someone shit in his brains.
Okay. Look! You're a doctor. He's got shit in his brains. So much shit in his brains. Look, you're a
doctor. He's here because his stomach hurts. I know. Yep. Probably because he's just full
of so much dumb crap. Okay. Your boy is a waste. Okay. Have you ever heard? Have you
ever heard of done side us? No, because he's not a thing. He's got it real bad.
You're making shit up that has nothing to do with wire work.
Someone turned his mower on.
He's an idiot.
Very upright.
Yep.
OK, thanks.
I threw a rock at his head and he didn't even duck.
Thanks for stopping by.
Went right into his head.
Really appreciate it.
Where is he now?
He's out in the yard.
Crying because his stomach hurts.
Yeah.
Yep.
Boy.
Look at him go.
Well, you got to wonder what that kid would be like if he
Don't.
Just wasn't such a...
Say it.
God damn...
Well, I'll see you later.
I'll see you later.
I should probably go.
Bye.
Thanks.
I think it's getting tense in here.
Yeah, no, it's really tense.
Want me to back the wagon over him or something?
Nope.
Nope.
He is my son.
All right.
Good luck. Don't have any more.
So Rachel, Benjamin, the idiot, and then he got eaten son from his first marriage.
I swear to God, I thought you were about to say that he got eaten.
That'd be a good ending. They had their own kid a year later, so Francis now has a pretty big family to take care of.
Sure.
In June 1636, Eleanor, she's now in her 50s, was found guilty of slandering a church deacon
and this ex-assistant governor, and she was fined five pounds and, quote, a juror to be
set in the stocks and be whipped.
Shit.
That's a lot.
Yeah. They put her in the stocks and whip her
because she told some guy to fuck off basically.
Wow.
They probably wouldn't have put any other woman who
arrives on the Mayflower and stocks.
She was just particularly.
The top dogs, the Mayflower people, the top dogs.
Wouldn't have whipped her except she's a Billington.
Yeah.
She's now living on pretty hard times.
Frances can't do much to help her financially
because he's got his family.
He's still cranking out kids.
By 1852, he had eight more kids.
God damn.
Yeah.
Go.
Just at some point, anal, right?
What?
In 1637, same year Francis married, Eleanor needed money, so she's trying to sell land
in Plymouth to a new colonist.
It comes with houses and other buildings.
That doesn't go through.
So the following March, she grants the land to Francis.
With the stipulation, she'd be allowed to use some of the land to plant corn
and she gets a small parcel to build a house on
and have a garden.
Sure, nice.
And also Francis can't sell the land while she's alive
unless she agrees to it.
So in August 1638 she marries Gregory Armstrong,
he's 69, she's 56.
She makes him sign a prenup.
Wow.
I can't believe some of the stuff that had existed back then
is crazy.
It really is.
I would have never thought of.
No, I feel like prenups started in the 80s in California.
But even with a prenup, I wouldn't think a woman back
then would be able to do it.
Yeah, a woman had the right to a prenup.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She was bringing, this is all she had, she was bringing two marriages, two cows had the right to a prenup, yeah.
She was bringing, this is all she had, she was bringing two marriages, two cows into
the marriage, sorry, she was bringing two cows in, and she declared that if her husband
lived longer, he would give each of her grandchildren, quote, two heifers of a year old.
And she's got a bunch of grandkids, like as I said.
But her husband would also get the house
and the land around it, so give up cows, get the land.
So he obviously has no money.
Right, yes.
And she does die before him.
We don't know how, but we just know that in 1850,
they wrote that he died a widower.
So Francis is in bad shape.
He gets sued for debt in 1639,
and they have to sell off their land
that his wife had gotten when her previous husband died,
and then they had another kid,
and records indicate they're really fucking poor.
So, in January 1642, they lose the kids.
Wow.
Magistrates quote, placing and disposing
of Francis Billington's children
according to the act and order of the court.
So child services, they can't like clothe or feed them,
so child services rolls in. The families they are placed with are ordered to give them meat, drink, and clothes in return
for labor.
Loving household.
You get little worker kids.
All right.
Well, you know the deal.
Here's your meat.
Go build a fence.
Can we
go sit at the table? Shut up. No, shut up with the dogs. Shut up. Go eat your bowl of
lamb. Go eat your lamb. Just in a pile. Yeah. Eat and cook your lamb. It's like Korean barbecue.
Throw it on the table.
So the boys are supposed to remain with their new masters until they're 21 and the girls 20.
Wow.
And the kids at this point, they're between five and 14.
Oh my God.
The Billingtons made it into another record book. Six-year-old Elizabeth Billington was the last female to be listed in Colony Records
as entering into indentured servitude.
Oh my God, so the final one.
That sucks.
Yeah.
All right, you go work for them
for an indetermined amount of time.
By the way, we're gonna get rid of that now.
That's the end of the, wait, what?
So am I free? No. No, no, no, because you're still doing it, By the way, we're going to get rid of that now. That's the end of that. That's gone.
So am I free?
No, no, no, no, because you're still doing it, but you're the last one.
Congratulations.
We're not going to do that anymore.
Anyway, finish your term out, okay?
And your brother's free.
Hey.
Joseph Billington, who was six years old, ran away from his master's service several times.
So Francis and his wife are brought to court
to answer for this behavior, this terrible behavior.
Sure.
Joseph had been-
I mean, it's pretty easy to answer for.
Yeah, Your Honor, it sucks.
Yeah, he's eaten meat out of a bowl.
His deal sucks. Yeah, I can't, there's nothing, he's eating meat out of a bowl. His deal sucks.
Yeah, I can't. There's nothing. You remember you took them from me, right? You guys took
my kids away and they're running, trying to run back to me and that's because they want
to be with their... But you're just not sure why your kid is such a... The insubordination
is just off the charts. He likes his parents. He wants to be with us. I mean, he's simply,
he's getting plenty of mutton. He could eat off the dusty floor. He's to be with us. I mean, he's simply, he's getting plenty, plenty of
mutton. He could eat off the dusty floor. He's given a cot
and in exchange for that, he just has a lot of things to
clean up. I'm not sure what the
Your honor, we're being told he was not given a cot. He's just
got a little place on the dirt there.
Oh, whatever, whatever. He's got a dirt bed. You can dirt nap in
it. That's great. Yeah, so, you know, not sure what this kid's problem is.
He loves us. He wants to love. He likes to be with his parents, me and...
You've lost the court because I'm not really sure what's going on anymore.
That's fair. So, young Joseph had been led astray by his brother, who was 14, Benjamin, who had run
away so much.
They said he was dismissed from his slavery.
I don't know what that means.
So that's your punishment for running away too much?
You know what?
Get out of here.
This isn't going to work out.
You're just not listening.
And that's a big problem for us.
So just get out.
You're done. You're free. You're free. Well, that's a big problem for us. So just get out. You're done.
You're free.
You're free.
Well, that's it.
That's it.
You get freedom.
Hope you're happy.
I think they probably put him with someone else, right?
Still.
Someone worse.
So Francis and Christian were told if they accepted a runaway Joseph in their home, they
would be put in the stocks.
So now their kids can't run away to them because they get, yeah. And Benjamin was
told he'd get the same punishment. He would also be put in stocks because
he's 14 now. So you're old enough to be put in stocks. Oh yeah, it's time to stock. Yeah.
Christian and Francis then had three, five more kids, sorry. Jesus Christ. Three of them
lived to be adults. That's why I got mixed up. So they can't stop. They loved
it. Just bang. Yeah, really finishing on the inside. Francis was hauled back in a court
for debt. Again, there are other miscellaneous charges. At this point, he had nine kids and
three step children. I'm not sure how many are in his house. But either way, in 1665,
the house burned down. Oh, shit.
They're just not... It's just family. Should have stayed in England.
These are the original Kennedys.
No, because the Kennedys had a nice house.
Oh, still.
The Billingsons moved to Middleborough, and Francis and Christian died in December 1684.
He was 78 years old.
In 1973. 19?
19.
Okay.
The overseers of the Plymouth plantation,
so people who were like overseeing the original land.
The OPP.
They're trying to make it like Williamsburg
or whatever like redo it kind of deal.
Sure. They decided an authentic. We should get a whole
foods. Yeah. Go ahead. They decided an authentic house would
be built where the Billington's lived. Right. So we build the
Billington's house. Sure. Now, the way the way this worked is
the family, it's been handed down through the years.
They still own the land.
And usually when they made a decision, the Plymouth plantation overseers, the house would
get built by the founders' descendants, because these are all rich people.
All of the original Mayflower people
are crazy fucking rich.
Oh, they are in the 1900s. Yeah. I mean, those people all had original land and they all
just kept making money because that's how it works. Once you have land. Uh, here's the
problem with that. The Billingsons account has $4 in it. And that had been deposited by a staff member. So there's no
money. The Billingtons are not, they still, years later, they don't have any fucking money. Right.
They're the family that didn't save. Yeah. Or they just, or they like, they never had any money.
That never worked out. He's in debt back then. They never. Right. Nobody ever.
$4. We should get some scratch offsoffs. No, Billingtons. Jesus
Christ. Fucking listen to me.
I'm going to use it to buy a sword.
Ah, dude, this is great.
And then we'll rob a bank.
Let's put four dollars of gas in the motorcycle. Jesus, Billingtons. Listen to yourselves.
So the plantation staff built the house.
But that's the story of the Billingtons.
The Billingtons were the first, he's the first murderer, America's first murderer and a first
death sentence.
Last indentured servant.
And then, yeah, last indentured servant.
So they're kind of like the unluckiest.
Yes.
People who came, the unluckiest pilgrims basically.
I mean, had they been Puritans, they probably would have been fine and made a lot of money
and been great, but they were persecuted and didn't get as much what they were owed.
And they're still their Billingtons today.
Oh, certainly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because they kept having kids.
Yeah.
There's Billingtons.
Yeah, they had a lot of kids. So they probably, it's probably some person in, I mean, someone's probably going to correct
me on this, but it's probably some guy who just like owns a mobile home somewhere in
Ohio and he's like, I'm from the Mayflower Folk.
Wow.
What a weird little family.
Yeah.
Well, shout out to the Billingtons.
Shout out.
I actually, I think Curtis Flood's kids started following me on Twitter.
Is that true?
I think so.
Yeah.
Wow.
Nice.
I believe so.
So if any Billingtons want to hop aboard the social media team, let's go.
Get on board, girl.
Let's go.
Let's party.
Well, let's take the hat off.
The sources for this episode, thehistoryofmassachusetts.org, histarch.illinois.edu, Karen Racine, the
human tradition of the Atlantic world, David Beale, the Mayflower Pilgrims.
James Dietz and Patricia Scott Dietz, the times of their lives.
Love, life and death in the Mayflower Colony.
Nathaniel Philbrick, Mayflower, a story of change, community and war.
And Edward Winslow, Mort's retaliation, a Journal of the Pilgrims at Plymouth.
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