The Dollop with Dave Anthony and Gareth Reynolds - 638 - The Billington's

Episode Date: June 18, 2024

Comedians Gareth Reynolds and Dave Anthony examine America's first crime family Tour Dates Redbubble Merch Sources     Squarespace  Lectric Bikes Robot-Liter  - Promocode DOLLOP    ...

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Alright everybody, so listen as you probably know I travel a lot a ton always on the road always staying in places and If I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better. It's more like a home Anyway, so look I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone Can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.
Starting point is 00:00:39 Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. God, you want to look good, dude? I'll do one button. People say this is funny. BNB dot CA slash host Not Gary Gara, okay, someone or something is tickling And this is not gonna come to tickling podcast. Okay Queen fakie of made-up town all hell queen shit of lies bill a bunch of religious virgins go to mingle. And do what? Pray. Hi, Gary. No, I said done, my friend. No, no. This is the dollop on the All Things Comedy Network. This is an American history podcast where each week I, Dave Anthony, re-history from American history some some stuff about you
Starting point is 00:01:28 Can we get some stuff about you a contradictory mean person? Gareth Reynolds mega What I'll mega now No, no, that's not no we're not yeah. No, you can't just all of a sudden. You don't want it to be great again? Not in that way. Like. Well, don't get to know.
Starting point is 00:01:53 We're no, we can't have this. Can't be crossfire. Like, oh, buddy, we're doing the crawl up. Good work. All right. All right, you start. What are your stupid liberal views? I'm going to cut them down. I'm not a liberal. Oh, yeah, I am. I right. You start. What are your stupid liberal views? I'm going to cut them down.
Starting point is 00:02:05 I'm not a liberal. What? Yeah, I am. I'm the leftist. It's tough to work with. It's not easy. Why did you become MAGA? Merch. I love the merch. They have good merch. They have way better merch.
Starting point is 00:02:25 The Congressional baseball game was on television yesterday. And are they playing? In a stadium, and it's Congress people playing, and one of the pitchers has a MAGA hat on. And I really just couldn't. I just... How many people went to that? There were a lot. There was a charity event, so there were actually too many people there. See, these are the sort of... It's also so funny that they are like, we're going to raise money for something.
Starting point is 00:02:53 It's like, yeah, you know what else you could do? Give it. Give it. You know, portion it out for this group. The announcers were like, well, this is the kind of event that could really bring the two sides together and create a difference in this country. No, by the way, behind closed doors, these two sides are already together. Gareth, we have a Patreon. If you want to enjoy this show ad free, you can check out Patreon. Should Well, Dave, should I tell everyone?
Starting point is 00:03:25 Yeah. So, we're trying to get to, we're trying to up the subs on the old Patreon. We're trying to get ourselves to 10,000 subs, okay? Just like Jersey Mike's. And one of the things we're going to do if we get there is you and I, and I haven't even told you about this update. No but what we should do is we're not just gonna sit there and watch one Steven Seagal movie no yes no we should make a day of it and we should watch doing three what are you doing right now we should watch three you can't just I'm springing it do two things like this without I'm talking to me first bringing it
Starting point is 00:04:06 Are you in or are you out? No? Why come on this is a patreon no No, we'll watch under siege We'll watch above the law does every one of his movies start with a preposition and then what's the other one on deadly ground? Mmm Big you found the guy you found it also And then what's the other one on deadly ground? Hmm. He's a big preposition guy. You found it. Also we want to thank everyone who's joining us on our YouTube. We've got a bunch of good stuff on there and you can go to the dollop podcast.
Starting point is 00:04:38 Yeah, they got the other one got stuff. Yeah, taken down, but I'm sure he's putting him up on Rumble. Let him have it. Let him have it. I mean, were we really going to engage on Rumble that much? No. I don't think so. Around 1852.
Starting point is 00:04:59 These are my favorite. Why are you leaving the camera? I had to put on the podcasting hat. Okay. So listen, I put on the podcasting hat. Okay. So listen, I'm not sure what to say about this. I put on my podcasting hat. Take it off. This is Dave.
Starting point is 00:05:17 This can't be here. The year of our Lord, Jaytown. Dave. John Billington was born in England. This is so stupid. It was a rough time in England. There were wars, religious turmoil, overpopulation, terrible inflation. Well, it sounds very similar.
Starting point is 00:05:38 The next decade brought infighting and scarcity and economic hardship and there was war in Ireland. It's just a mess. It's a disaster. Sure. So we don't know anything about John Billington's early years. Nothing at all. We do know that in 1603, he married Eleanor Lockwood. She's 21.
Starting point is 00:06:02 And they have two sons, crank out a couple of boys, John Jr. in 1604 and then Francis a couple years later. And then that's it. They don't have any more kids, very rare for the time. Usually people had 60 to 70 and two kids and done, two and out. So they live in Lincolnshire and- Is that why you're wearing that stupid hat because of Lincoln
Starting point is 00:06:33 It's not a stupid hat. What is it a Beefeater hat? It's real dumb. It's a professional podcasting at and Real dumb they're on the they live on the edge of where you get in a hat like that And you need to buy top hats anywhere. Why did you get it? Because I am a podcaster. Okay. And things only became more difficult. Not much hope that they would get any better in England and just looked like bad.
Starting point is 00:07:00 Sure. Yeah. So John starts to think that maybe immigration is the way out of this situation. Oh, okay. Boy, I was really, I thought it was going to be an immigrant hating start, but he wants to be an immigrant. He wants to emigrate. He wants to emigrate, right.
Starting point is 00:07:21 Colonizing America did not have a good track record at that point. Roanoke, obviously a disaster. There's a recent, there had been a small, quick one in Maine that lasted a whole winter and that was it. A whole what? Winter. There was a colony that lasted just in and out. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:07:38 Colonies were just dying because everyone was dying. Yeah. It was not good. The Virginia colony at this point is like a death camp. People are just dying. They die from the ocean crossing, from exposure, from starvation. There's diseases, then there's fighting with the locals that live there. Sure.
Starting point is 00:07:55 So odds are if you go with four people, one of them is not going to survive. Probably two, right? Okay. Those are like the numbers. So in the summer of 1620, some well-off businessmen in London start recruiting people to colonize. Quote, the northern parts of Virginia. The best part. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:18 So, right. So you're just, yes, right. Yeah. The men who are the rich men of Richmond. So you're basically just, they're just like, we'll get you there. Are they going to give you something? Okay, so the men, these businessmen, they paint it as like this place of abundance and there's all these animals you can hunt.
Starting point is 00:08:40 There's no way for I mean, it's just like if you like if you go to like like you go to your hotel And it's trash Very quickly like hey, so knit. Yeah, you know, this is like you are like what? And those businessmen are just like yeah, they're probably gonna die. Hey, how good is money? Once you get them there, that's it. They're fucked, right? Yeah. They're not going to chance another ship across the ocean where you could buy. By the way, as I'm even saying this, the fact that this still happens today is now entering
Starting point is 00:09:15 the forefront of my mind. Yeah. It's never. So that's cool. So yeah, so they're saying it's a great place. And John Billington is like, okay, I mean, sounds good. They, did you hear what they had to say about this magical land they call Virginia? There are deer so plentiful that they have apples growing on them.
Starting point is 00:09:42 Deer apples? Why, they've got everything over there. They've got a rainbow river. They've got gumdrop trees. Virginia. There's other stuff. They have other stuff. Yeah, what?
Starting point is 00:09:59 Why they've got delicious vines that are tasty. Regular vines. What's growing on delicious vines that are tasty, regular vines. You can eat the vines like spaghetti. They're just regular vines. Come over this way. Look at these thorny trees. Imagine navigating these. Come on. Over this way.
Starting point is 00:10:21 Look at this. Why this river is polluted. It's full of dead fish. Come over here. Let me grant you a wish in Virginia. In Virginia. So of course there's a hitch. There's sweet gumdrops. Those are the crops in Virginia. Hey, do you like fruit? Yeah, I like apples and oranges.
Starting point is 00:10:47 There's not much here in Virginia. Hey, have a handful of dirt. Put some down your skirt in Virginia. I don't have a skirt. Want to buy a skirt? Well, come over here. There's nothing except coldness and fear in Virginia. That's not a good selling point.
Starting point is 00:11:07 Look, we're not going to be able to get to the ocean because this land is locked. I hope you understand that we'll be beating each other's with rocks in Virginia. It's on the ocean. Well, that's tough to hear. What an interesting trend. Pretty soon you're going to be eating your friend in Virginia.
Starting point is 00:11:29 In Virginia. So of course there's a hitch to this whole thing and that is that for the cost of shipping them over, providing them with food and a share of the profits once there, you sign a contract that binds your entire family to labor in the colony until 1627. So seven years. Wait, what year are we starting though? I thought you said 18 something. 1620. Oh, okay. I think you started by saying 18 something. So in the 1600s.
Starting point is 00:12:00 Did I? Yeah. That's possible. Yeah, 1620. Okay. So, at seven years, the whole family, he signs up the whole family. Karen Racine, quote, for the duration of their partnership with the investors, the Billingtons and their fellow colonists would work six days per week for the company. All profits from trade, traffic, trucking, workinging working fishing or any other man's would remain in the common stock
Starting point is 00:12:27 Even the houses and gardens were to be included in the assets due to be divided after seven years So all money goes back to the company in England, right? And then and the things you build the houses and the the horses that are you know made and the cows that are made That is all common property after seven years when you're all free houses and the horses that are made and the cows that are made, that is all common property. After seven years, when you're all free, then you split that stuff up. Jared Ranere So you basically are seven years a slave, and then at the end of that, you are...
Starting point is 00:13:00 Pete Slauson You do get it. You get something. Unlike a... Jared Ranere You get your stuff, but you will basically have seven awful years. Yeah. And then at the end, you're allowed to keep what you sowed. Basically, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:13 And if the colony is profitable, that means they're expanding and they're getting more land and stuff. So ideally, when you're done, you do get a nice chunk of something. Okay. Ideally. Some thought the terms were, quote, fitter for thieves and bond slaves than honest men. Right. But to someone like John, the possibility of getting out of the hell that is England
Starting point is 00:13:41 and actually having a shot at a better life down the road is worth it because if he stays in England, it's just the rest of his life. He's got a chance. Yeah, you have a chance. There's a little bit of a sliver of hope. But then the Billingtons get on the ship and right away they discover that most of the other
Starting point is 00:14:02 passengers are not normal people like themselves, but religious radicals. Separatists from Holland who had 10 years before fled England. Yush. Because they don't like the angelican church. There's some difference that I don't care about. Right. What's weird is the hats become normal.
Starting point is 00:14:24 Mm-hmm, welcome to it. By the way, it's a great hat. And so. No, it's not. It looks like what you would put a child in if he were gonna be a mayor in Hello Dolly. So, right, a great hat. So, these people are very persecuted. That's why they, that's why they live. So, the, right, when people are persecuted, eh, it caused a lot of issues and a lot of psychological issues. So following, they're following the pastor, John Robinson, they decide that their lives
Starting point is 00:14:57 in Holland are not going to get better. They're just bleak. So they're going to try to go to America and start anew. It was a hard decision to come to. They were worried about, quote, the miseries of the land, which would probably consume to utterly ruinate them. So they have really, it's a little bar. Yeah, they're not. This is not optimistic.
Starting point is 00:15:21 This could get pretty cool. They're like, it's probably going to be awful, and most likely will die. But hey, whatever. Yeah, the could get pretty cool. They're like, it's probably going to be awful and most likely we'll die, but hey, whatever. Yeah, the land's going to kill us over there. We're just fucked. Hey, let's die over there. Yeah, better than Holland. That's kind of the choice, yeah.
Starting point is 00:15:37 They also signed a seven-year contract. So all this meant they can't find enough volunteers because nobody really wants to do this. Just sounds like a bad idea. So the investors, that's when they go, they think they can get all of these separatists, but then even those people aren't getting on board. So that's when they go over to England and they're like, hey, poor people. So that's how they get the volunteers for the rest of them. So, they have half Separatists and half, you know, like normal folk. The worst part-
Starting point is 00:16:11 Is that where Norfolk comes from? Just don't ever again. The worst part is that- Houses, seems like it. Nope. The worst part is that John Billington is devoted to the Church of England, so he has zero in common with these heretics. They're the bad guy. And they haven't been in England for 10 years. So there's like a little bit
Starting point is 00:16:31 of right cultural difference. So on the ship, immediately they all the separatists are like, these guys are suspicious, these Billington types. They call them strangers. That's what they call people from the outside, not part of the cult. Sure. And unfortunately, John can't walk away. He gets on the ship. He's like, imagine you get on a ship and it's just all these evangelicals and you're like, oh, I don't want to do this. No, it's not that he's at sea.
Starting point is 00:17:02 The ship is still docked. He signed a contract. He can't. Could you just's not that he's at sea. The ship is still docked. He signed a contract. He can't. Could you just walk away? I don't know. I mean, I don't know. Remember, this is when you could go to prison for debt. So who knows what they do. You'd probably go to jail if you broke a contract. I would assume. By the way, of all of his options, jail seems the best. Better. Yeah. So that's why he he stuck there and then things don't start out Well, the two ships go out and then they and then they were turned to port twice because in such bad shape and leaking
Starting point is 00:17:35 so It's a bad sign for the company or sounds like flying So they're eating all their food because the ships keep stopping and it's taking a while, all this stuff. So please say they reration. They don't just go like, well, all right. Well they can't reration because these people brought their own food. Oh Jesus Christ.
Starting point is 00:17:59 So they probably don't have, like the Billingsons don't have that much money. They're eating their, what are they going to be, supplies through the winter. They're eating it. So everyone on board starts getting a little freaked out that they won't have any food when they get there. So separatist Robert Cushman wrote that with the lack of food and the quote, un-united passenger, that violence would break all. I gotta say, we've heard a lot of awful journeys
Starting point is 00:18:29 on this show, and I can always, at this point I see them coming pretty clearly. Yeah. Like I know when it's like, so they're like sending some guy to be like, go make a road, in a park, we've never been, this sounds as badly teed up as an adventure can be. No, this is terrible. This is a terrible start.
Starting point is 00:18:50 The fact, even just going to start a colony in the US is bad, but the idea that they're already eating their boat spaghetti is not good. Yeah, the BS. The Mayflower ends up leaving alone without the other ship because the other ship's in such bad shape. Oh, this is the Mayflower? Yeah. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:19:13 I missed that. I didn't say it yet. Oh, okay. So- Well, then this is a big fucking deal. Okay. So, there's 102 passengers. There's 37 crew members, half of the passengers are separatists
Starting point is 00:19:29 and they're very unified. All the other people don't know each other and they're like no connection whatsoever. So they ended up going to Northern Virginia, but not going to Northern Virginia. That's where their patent is. So they're supposed to go to Northern Virginia. So they end up not going. What do you mean their patent is? So they're supposed to go to Northern Virginia. So they end up not going. And instead they go to... What do you mean their patent is?
Starting point is 00:19:46 You get a patent for your colony from the king or the company or whatever. I think the king gives you a patent. And so you have a select time of your patent. You have a 10-year patent for this land that you can go here, right? Yeah. You know who we should have gotten for this episode is Pat Oswald. He'd been... I'm not frozen. I'm just staring.
Starting point is 00:20:13 No, I know. No, I see you blinking. So yeah, so it's not where they expect to go. And so they go to Cape Cod and George's Bank and European fishermen have been going there since like the 1500s. So they knew there was lots of fishing to be had there. But that meant they're not landing in the Church of England-friendly Virginia. So the people on the ship who are not the separatists, they're
Starting point is 00:20:45 like, well, at least when we get there, we'll be surrounded by people like us, other angelicans. And now they're going to a place where nobody is. How hard is it to fake just being a separatist? Couldn't you just be like, couldn't you get on that boat and just be like, oh, finally, some other separatists? I don't think you would because you don't believe in it. Is it just your personal conviction? You were just like, since God's watching, like, you're like, I'm right. These how hard it would be for you to fake being an evangelical for three months. Not hard. If I was like, well, if I was like going on a boat and I'm like, these people might eat me, dude, without
Starting point is 00:21:19 question, I'd be like, what's your, what's your favorite? What's your favorite song and Mark? My favorite song and Mark. My favorite Psalm and Mark? Uh-huh. Hamel. Did you guys hear that Psalm starts with a P? Isn't that crazy? So number one, I think they all know each other. And number two, I think they would test you.
Starting point is 00:21:44 That's where my problem comes in. Yeah, and then you're fucked. The testing. Yeah. So they get there, and as soon as the anchor drops, the Billingtons are an issue. According to the book American Murder, quote, straight away the Billingtons started causing trouble. According to the book American Murder, quote, straight away the Billingtons started causing trouble.
Starting point is 00:22:07 Even before the newly arrived immigrants could move onto Plymouth Rock, Francis almost sank the ship when he fired a gun near an uncovered barrel of gunpowder and set fire to a cabin. Well, what the fuck is he doing? I mean, I'm like, they're our POV, but what is he doing? I mean, I'm like, there are POV, but what is he doing? What the fuck? He's 13. Plymouth Rock. What are you doing boy? Get the gun out of his. He's shooting a gun inside like you do. What? Your gunpowder. Remember, this
Starting point is 00:22:37 is a gun that goes, and there's smoke and it's like a whole thing. It's not like a little pistol. It's like a giant blowy up his thing. I mean, that's not good. That's not helpful. By the way, they say move on a Plymouth Rock. No one could move on a Plymouth Rock because Plymouth Rock is like the size of like a dining table. It's not a big rock. Wow. No rock has done more with less. Yeah. It's really been overblown. Yeah. So, so not a great start.
Starting point is 00:23:07 A Pilgrim quote, on the fifth day, we, through God's mercy, escaped a great danger by the foolishness of a boy, one of Billington's sons, who in his father's absence had got gunpowder and there being a following piece charged, fouling, fouling piece charged in his father's cabin, shot her off in the cabin, there being a barrel of powder half full scattered in and about the cabin and many people about the fire, and yet by God's mercy no harm was done. See, then I would be like, see, that's angelicans.
Starting point is 00:23:42 We shot it. Yeah. God decided, and they'd be like, no, no, no, the separatists. Our Lord looked over us and made sure that we weren't hit with the gun powder from your foolish child. That's exactly how it works. By the way, I've shot off in a cabin before. Lord, come on. It's gross. Let's have some fun. It's gross. Let's enjoy ourselves. We're a little lock. Hey, need I remind you?
Starting point is 00:24:03 Need I remind you? We're the little lock. Hey, need I remind you, need I remind you, we're the bad boys, okay? We are the bad boys. So let me remind you a little something, okay buddy? If you got this little sort of vanilla attitude, take it and shove it up your a-hole. Cause that's not the bad boy attitude. Don't bring up the stupid hat.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Don't bring up the dumb hat. Shut up about the stupid hat. Bad boys in top hats is what it's called. The hat is dumb and stupid The only thing dumber than the hat is the man in it So like I said the non separatists are not happy that they're not in Virginia, right some gave quote discontented and mutinous speeches. They said they would use their own liberty
Starting point is 00:24:48 and no one had the right to command them. The patent was Virginia, not here, quote, which belonged to another government. So they're like, this place we shouldn't even be. There's no laws. It's another government's fucking land. It's not ours. The patent's not for here.
Starting point is 00:25:04 Also, the Church of England is much bigger over there. Okay. So I'd be nervous. This speech they're saying, they're basically saying because of this change, they can walk away from the seven year contract. They said this is breaking the contract. We can walk away from the contract. Because they just, really, at the end of the day, they do not want to live in a colony
Starting point is 00:25:29 that's just dominated by religious lunatics. And then they knew that their religion would, you know, they'd get nothing, right? It would just be all the separatists. So the separatists respond by drafting what is known as the Mayflower Compact. And this is something that people in America love. It's like the first democratic agreement, blah, blah, blah. Yeah, I love this. So all males sign it.
Starting point is 00:26:02 Everybody on the ship, all the dudes. sign it, everybody on the ship, all the dudes. But guys like John, if they didn't sign it, they would have been screwed, because it would have meant that they didn't get a share of stuff, like the share of food and gunpowder and supplies. Like if they didn't sign it, they would have gotten nothing. They'd just be like, oh, contract's over, and I'd go off into the woods. So they signed this thing, and they would die
Starting point is 00:26:27 without all that stuff. So the Compact also gives people like Billington a little bit of hope that they would have some say in the politics of the place, because they created this new thing called the civil body politics. They're like, well, we're on it, so we'll get some say, but in truth, they're outnumbered. So a month after arriving, Francis climbs a tree on top of a hill.
Starting point is 00:26:55 Jesus, this kid's a problem. This kid's a problem already. And he's looking around. He's looking. He's checking stuff out, gets up there, and he sees, quote, a great sea. He sees a big body of water. He's sees, quote, a great sea. He sees a big body of water. He's like, there's a great sea. Does he not?
Starting point is 00:27:09 Yeah, but that's... I can see it from my tree. Does that not what got them there? Well, he thinks he sees a different, like a bay or something. Oh, he thinks it's the second ocean. Or a bay or like another body. Yeah, something else. Okay.
Starting point is 00:27:22 So a bunch of colonists hike three miles and it's the middle of winter and they find it, but it's not a sea. It's just a couple of lakes. Big lakes. Sure. Fish and birds, you know, the usual. Today that is known as Billington Sea. Oh boy.
Starting point is 00:27:43 So it got named. Sure. So the winter- And it's a lake? Yes, two lakes. Known as Billington see oh boy, so it got named sure So the winter like Yes, two lakes. It's a very sarcastic name for yo. Yeah, 100% It's sarcastic name. Yeah, welcome to idiot Creek Yeah, that's basically what they did So the winter is hard. It's a very hard winter by the time. It's over only about 50 people are still alive And that includes the Billy did all. All four Billingtons survived. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:08 Six of 22 families were completely gone. Another six had lost a parent and six others, there was just an orphan that survived. It's dark. Yeah. Okay. In the spring, John Jr. gets lost in the, he goes off into the wilderness and gets lost. That's not surprising. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:28:29 Why? Like, they... I don't understand. Okay. So, is he lost, lost? Yeah, he's lost, lost. They can't find him. He ends up being gone for five days.
Starting point is 00:28:41 He's out there eating berries to survive and anything else he can find. And so they sent 10 colonists to search for him. How old is he? He is, I think he's about 14 or something. Okay. No, he's a little bit older. He's 15, I think. So obviously the colonists don't like this because they have fucking shitload of work
Starting point is 00:29:04 to do. They're always working to survive. But they sent tennis search for him. And John Jr. ends up with the Nosset tribe. And that is a tribe that had attacked the Mayflower landing party in December. So then the colonists learn that they find out he's with the local tribe and they send heavily armed med to the tribe's village. But they quickly realized that they really screwed up because quote, the savages here came very thick amongst us.
Starting point is 00:29:42 So there's a ton of them, right? It's their place. They live there and they've. So there's a ton of them. Because it's their place. They live there and they've been living there for a while. So there's gonna be a few. You just moved there to die. Yeah, it's like, yeah, it's a bad idea. The DOLOP is sponsored by Squarespace. Love Squarespace Dave.
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Starting point is 00:30:25 We're all under Squarespace. We're into the banner. It's the right way to do this. Enough BS. Just do it. You're just sitting there in a pile of Pringles cans, chain smoking. Get it together. I'm done. chain smoking, get it together.
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Starting point is 00:31:17 Well, you should be sorry about it. I love Pringles. But it's a great website company and more, as they say, all in one. You get domains and all that stuff. So yeah, get on board. We are. We love it. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial.
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Starting point is 00:32:02 Cannot say enough good things about the litter robot. I wanted one for a while. It is a litter game changer. And again, I realize I'm 44. Some of my highlights, aside from the fact that you don't need to worry about scooping out the litter daily at all anymore, because it drops into a little trap below. You have an app that tells you when your cat is using it. Self-cleaning could not be easier. It is just the greatest. It just completely, completely changed like the most annoying part of having a cat. There you go.
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Starting point is 00:33:14 We are brought to you by Electric E-bike. Let's do this. Dave, you love your bike. I love, yeah, this is my thing. I love my electric e-bike. Go to electricebikes.com to discover e-bikes that start at just $7.99 with the XP light. I am a huge fan. I got the one. I don't even know which brand, which model is, but oh, it's the XP I got the one, I don't even know which model is, but oh, it's the XP trike. It folds. So I can fold that and put it in my car. I can drive it if I want to go to the beach or whatever and ride it.
Starting point is 00:33:52 I live on a hilly area, so it would take me a lot of energy to get back up the hill like if I went to the store or something. And now I can just zip right up. It's fantastic. It's comfortable. It's fast. I like it. I like the whole thing. Yeah. Now you talk about your electric bike a lot. I do.
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Starting point is 00:35:08 It's more like a home. Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking like while I'm gone, can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes. It can be as easy as putting your place up. Then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money on the side, just generated from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host. But they don't kill them. Um, and then a little while after a chief rolls in on a canoe and he's got John jr. In the canoe. He also brings about a hundred more dudes with him and But they said half his men were unarmed and they also weren't pointing their arrows They were just like totally casual. So they knew they weren't gonna get killed and John jr. Was handed over he had beads around his neck They treated him well, and the chief maid then makes peace with the colonists.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Great. So it's a good thing you went off there. Yeah, basically. I mean, yeah. So the colonists, however, are not happy. I like the idea that if he comes back, he's all like kind of zenned out Phil Jackson-y after five days over there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:22 Mother, relax. The earth is going to work with us no matter what we do. Just look at my beads. I think the best part of this is that your version of a Zen dude is a basketball coach. Well, no. My white version of a Native American spiritual embracers, Phil Jackson, because he would be like,
Starting point is 00:36:42 they call it Pamanak. It's not Richard Gere. No, no, because he's, no, no. I mean more like, Phil Jackson was way more into the native. Yes. Pseudo, yes. Yes. LA.
Starting point is 00:36:56 LA, yeah. LA spiritual, you know. The best card. Yeah. Yeah, B, it really is beads. Yeah, beads, and you get the wristband. I've got these beads and a walking stick. And. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:19 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. like they're really the Billingsons, they're not fucking happy with the billing. But they because of them, there's like peace. Well, there is peace. Yeah. Are at that point, there's the idea that you're going to nitpick and like, it's like, there's so much give it to them. I think it's already cleared land and like ready for cry. Okay, right. I think it's like, yeah, right.
Starting point is 00:37:43 So the next year, the investors don't like what's going on. They're like, there's too much Puritan shit happening out there. Right. Right. So they send an evangelical, evangelical minister, John Leifert, to sort of take a little bit control and break up the Puritan control. Like, he goes in with an agenda. It's wild the factions here. Yeah. Like, just be like, man, we got a Puritan problem. Send an evangelical there. That makes sense. That'll work.
Starting point is 00:38:15 So there's a struggle between the separatists and the non-separatists. The non-separatists do not like the religious, economic, and political restrictions that are being put on them by these religious types. If you can imagine that in- Shocking. No. So there's a showdown and Governor Bradford, who is a separatist, accuses Leifert of plotting a reformation. Okay.
Starting point is 00:38:45 And there's a trial. And during the trial, the Leifert and his, whatever, co-conspirator, whatever the guy is, he names John Senior as basically a snitch. Okay. And he's like, this guy's informing us of all this stuff. And John Senior is like, sometimes I went to meetings because I had to, but I'm not a snitch.
Starting point is 00:39:14 Okay. He's clearly snitching. Okay. But in the end, this lifer plot fails and he and the other leader are banished. They're kicked out of the colony. So that leads to a few other non-separatist colonists being like, okay, I can't take this shit. I'm fucking out of here.
Starting point is 00:39:37 And so now there's even a bigger percentage of- Just rolling. Puritans. Where are they going? I think there are now other colonies. So maybe the Massachusetts, they're showing up there, but the Massachusetts Bay colonies also run by, you know, Puritan. So right. Who knows? Remember there's also Thomas Morton who went off and started a little party
Starting point is 00:39:59 house. Remember the guy who on the, we did a live episode, he was like, if this guy had been the guy who started our colonies, this would be a completely different country. Thomas Martin. He was like, he was like, party with Native Americans and like, hey, gay sex is okay. He was just like, it was like San Francisco. Or old San Francisco before it got ruined. Oh, wow. Yeah, it got really awkward. You're one of those guys, huh? I am yeah
Starting point is 00:40:32 So the Billingtons don't go though, they're one of the people and the reason they don't go is because you're walking away from your possible future fortune, right? Yes future fortune, right? When the seven years are up. Yes. How long have they been there now? I think it's like five years they've been there. They put in a lot of work. Yeah, I would finish it out. But those people are like, yeah, but then I'm still stuck
Starting point is 00:40:56 in the colony with these assholes, but I have you know, so I get both sides. Yeah. They had already been, the Billingsons of Art were already just like before the trial, before he was named as a snitch, and now they're just seen as completely at odds with the Puritan pious colonists. Sure.
Starting point is 00:41:14 But they still stay. Probably because they're, oh sorry, three years, they're three years away from the Division of Properties. They put it four years. Yep. And to walk away, it's just like you're literally just starting from scratch. So after the trial, there are even more bad feelings toward the Billingtons. And the next year, John Sr. has a conflict with Puritan Robert Cushman.
Starting point is 00:41:40 No one knows, a lot of the records aren't, you know, they don't write it down. So no one knows exactly what the the conflict was. But Governor Bradford wrote to Robert Cushman and warned him that, quote, Billington stale rails against you and threatens to arrest you. I know not wherefore he is a knave and so will live and die. What's he saying? I think he's saying, he's not one of us and he's just going to live and die and that's going to be it. He's not going to go to heaven or whatever. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 00:42:14 I think so. I think I could be totally wrong. He also with the billing, the Billingtons, the whole crew were being punished all the time. So definitely not all their stuff is being recorded because he's like, we're constantly having to deal with these fuckers. Like they're white trash. This is the white trash family.
Starting point is 00:42:32 Sure. Of course, now someone's mad because he's white trash. I know. Yeah, me. I read the book. I did a whole podcast on it. It's just- Read what book?
Starting point is 00:42:43 Of course, not everyone disliked Billington's American hero Thomas Morton said John jr. was beloved by many. And that is backed up by the fact that when those people left, two of them gave all their land to John senior. Oh shit. So he was clearly, so the only records we have are from the Puritan leaders and stuff. So they're writing how much they hate him, but clearly people- Even then they're giving it up. Okay, so he's got way more land now.
Starting point is 00:43:19 Yeah. So most of the, yeah, and they're religious lunatics, right? So they're writing, the shit they're writing about him is just nuts. So the colony, it turns out is not making any money. They're not turning the profit that the company wanted. control in 1626. And that's a year away from when they... The division. Yeah. Now the only reason you do that is if you are
Starting point is 00:43:55 in control of the colony and you wanna fuck the other people over in the colony. So the land and cattle are all divided up and John does not get what he was supposed to get based on if the contract ran out and what he agreed to and been working for for six years. They were, because the people keep arriving, so they're like, the first comers are like supposed to be really fucking set, but he gets the smallest
Starting point is 00:44:26 percentage per capita allotment in the colony. Okay. So you didn't get the land you were already on? Yeah. I think you get the land you're on, but that's not much land. They're divvying up more. Then as far as, right. Okay.
Starting point is 00:44:43 Like the whole colony is supposed to be divvied up Yeah, and so he gets like scrap. What's he getting livestock chicken? I said cut three chickens and a crow which is that's not great. Yeah, anyone want some more crow milk No, it's the crow the oh my god. Yeah, it's a he gets a superhero type Wow. Yeah So what he got was a house in the center of Plymouth, 63 acres, a share of the livestock, and rights to future distribution. But then that's, like that sounds great to us,
Starting point is 00:45:14 but that's still way less than what he was supposed to get. Right. And he's also excluded from any leadership position because he has a bad reputation and he's not a member of the church. Yeah, he's a snitch and he's a shithead according to them. He also doesn't have enough money to become what is known as a colony undertaker
Starting point is 00:45:36 and they're the people who financially back stuff for the colony and handle the trade with England. So he doesn't have the money for that. So he's frustrated, he's fucking pissed. Sure. And he is one of the people Bradford called, quote, untoward persons which came out of England, which might endanger to overthrow all now that other ties and bonds are taken away.
Starting point is 00:46:05 So they're framing him as an enemy. They're othering him. A future enemy. Yeah, 100%. They're like, well, now that the outside problems are gone, it's these dudes. Right. So the CIA. They're still, because they were persecuted for so long, they're still like this, they
Starting point is 00:46:24 call them the strangers. the strangers, right? So he's still a stranger. He's still like not part of the clan. So Thomas Morton writes that John Senior had found the quote, one place in the whole country where there was a very useful stone, so much commended by Ovid, and he labored to get a patent of it to himself. What did he get? A stone?
Starting point is 00:46:48 He found precious metal. Oh, okay. Man, we love our little shiny fucking things, huh? We do. We really do. We are just... I'd be excited. I mean, I guess.
Starting point is 00:46:58 It's so funny. At some point, we're like, that's pretty. Kill people for it. Well, this sounds like a useful metal from what he wrote. So it's probably iron. OK. Because it said it was, Martin wrote that it could be used to make edging tools.
Starting point is 00:47:14 So it's like a collar. Yeah, like a collar. Go ahead. Like a collar. Yeah, exactly. Morton thought John Sr. wanted to keep the profits and not share it with the colony. And because of that, it appears nothing happened with it. He didn't want to tell people.
Starting point is 00:47:39 He wanted to be able to corner it for himself, but he probably couldn't get the infrastructure together to mind it. So he just was like, fuck it, nobody gets it. Yeah, so nothing happens. And then tragedy hits. John Jr. dies. We don't know what the cause is. He's 24.
Starting point is 00:47:58 Being in the 1600s. Yeah, I mean, yeah. He's 24, and he'd just gotten land himself. So he was just starting to, you know, his life. But you know, people died all the time of disease. Richard Warren had died around the same times and he was probably still living with him. And so probably some in their house, right? Like diarrhea or whatever.
Starting point is 00:48:24 Diarrhea. Okay. Losing a son, emotionally devastated, obviously. But also, like, that's his retirement because your kids, back then, that's your social security. That's who, you know, deals with your... Right. Picks you up. ...mould and can't move. Yeah. Cleans your diapers. Throws you in the river so you drown. Yeah. Wash your stuff. Yup. Exactly. It goesans your diapers. Throws you in the river so you drown. Yeah, washes your stuff.
Starting point is 00:48:45 Yep, exactly. It goes through your things. Loots you. Loots. Cleans you. Takes it, cleans you out. Cleans you, cleans you out. Cleans you, cleans you out.
Starting point is 00:48:53 Takes your bones. Yep. Makes weapons. Makes weapons from your bones while you're alive. Yep. Yep. All this stuff. Yep.
Starting point is 00:49:04 Soon after this, they learned a new group of separatists are coming from Holland. So now it's going to get worse, right? That is a whole new fucking ship of assholes and they're poor. They're not nobody. None of them have any money. So coming to Virginia, no coming to Plymouth. Okay, right. So that means more competition for land and wood and current colonists are expected to support them for up to 18 months until they can get on their feet, right? Oh man, this is Trump would murder this time. I guess both of them would actually. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:50 Yeah, this is a total nightmare. Because he's just kind of gotten, he just got screwed on the divvying up everything. They're sending their worst. On top of that, indentured servants keep arriving who are working for the undertaker guys. So the rich guys are bringing in more people to do more work for them and right. Private privatizing. So the whole this is the whole column is tense because of this. But John has no power to do anything.
Starting point is 00:50:21 And he's he's really at a breaking point. He's like, I'm fucking done. So he get, he- Go to your iron. I would go to my iron rock, and fashion myself a hammer or some sort of sword. A device. A hammer sword?
Starting point is 00:50:39 Then, yeah, a hammer sword. Is it a hammer like on one end and a sword on the other? That's exactly what it is. Sure. And then I just, yeah, I would ride on my trusty crow and just behead the enemies. Yes. Those who've wronged me.
Starting point is 00:50:53 Yeah. So all the, I mean, it's probably a lot, it's probably like 150 people or 200. It's nothing. More at this point. I have a hammer sword. Yeah. I have a swammer I assume they have
Starting point is 00:51:05 guns like they could probably oh shoot you well then I will fashion myself in a suit made of iron that they won't be able to shoot me with on the back of my trusty crow you're still on the with my sw. Yeah, I'm still in the crow because awesome. How big are you? I'm my size With an iron suit Okay, I just the crows been training the crow will be an iron to iron crow. Ah crowbar will call him. Ah Crowbar and iron boy boy. Yes Yeah, you're like 40 Stop Boy. Yes. You're like 40. Stop.
Starting point is 00:51:47 Come on. This whole age thing is, I'm the time, we've already talked about this. I'm like a teenager. On this show. I was talking about the character you were doing. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I'm 40. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:00 Yeah. But for this time, that's, you know, that's all. I'm Iron Boy. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So. sure. Yeah, and I'd go around and behead my enemies. Uh-huh Crow's gonna have to do some school. Yeah. No, it sounds Pretty like a good plan. Yep. Nobody is thinks it's bad. Nope um, so john
Starting point is 00:52:21 Got into a disagreement with his neighbor john Nukerman, but we don't know what it was about. So everyone's just named John? Yeah, it's a lot of Johns. So there's no history of what it was about, but it had been going on for a little while. At least until 1630, because that's when it ended, because John came across Nuckeman in a field and shot him dead. Nice.
Starting point is 00:52:47 Yes. Yes. We're taking our enemies out. Yeah. One at a time. Yep. Historian and clergyman at the time, William Hubbard, quote, the poor fellow perceiving the intent of this Billington, his mortal enemy, sheltered himself behind trees as well
Starting point is 00:53:03 as he could for a while. But the other, not being so ill a marksman as to miss his aim, made a shot and struck him on the shoulder, with which he died soon after. Jesus. By the way, you could get there quicker. I mean, it's a lot of words. You know what I mean? One guy hid behind the tree, the other guy shot him in the shoulder, he died.
Starting point is 00:53:24 He's a good shot. Well, you're not really painting a picture, are you? It's just a lot, you know? He didn't behind a shrub. They had so much time. There was nothing to watch, there was nothing to do, so you just used words to make everything go longer. It's like everything was a cricket match. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:53:45 So, the murderer expected that either for want of power to execute for capital offenses or for want of people to increase the plantation, he should have his life spared. So he's like, look, you guys fucked me. Yeah, I did it. But come on, there's not a lot of us. I'm pretty good over here. There's no law. I killed him through the shoulder. So come on, what are we doing?
Starting point is 00:54:11 Let's get, come on, let's go back to Tillen. Also, there's no law to kill me. There's no capital offense law. So what are you gonna do? Come on. Nothing on the books. Yeah. John, so they arranged John.
Starting point is 00:54:24 And then he, two juries, a grand jury and a petty jury. I never even heard of petty jury. I mean, we just might have shown him who's boss. Yeah, we're not that big. We don't really care. They find him guilty of willful murder by plain and notorious evidence. And they sentenced him to death. Now, this was concerning because he was going to be the first person executed in the colony
Starting point is 00:54:58 and they're not sure what the ramifications would be. What would all the other non-separatists do? Would they be mad or I don't know. I don't know. A lot of things, I'm sure. So Governor Bradford reaches out to the leading gentleman of the Massachusetts Bay colony. Hey, are you guys killing them? Have you guys killed them?
Starting point is 00:55:18 We're about to kill one of them. We're killing all kinds of people. We killed so many. You are? Okay. Yeah. We're going to kill one of ours because he killed another guy. But we just we just want to make sure that's a bad precedent. Yeah. I would use your sword hammer if you have one. Oh, we have a swammer. Oh, well then get your swammer out and
Starting point is 00:55:30 just give him a noxie or a stabsie. Right. Yeah. Yeah. You can stabsie. We'll do the crow right in on him. Great. Yeah. Jesus would have loved that. Oh yeah, for sure. Yeah. Yep. You know, we're finding out Jesus wore a top hat. I don't think we are. You know, we're finding out Jesus wore a top hat. I don't think we are. So the Massachusetts Bay colony leaders are all like, yeah, you should kill him and quote, the land be purged from blood. Yeah, that's how you get rid of blood. That's how you get rid of blood. That's how you say it also. So John Billington is hanged on September,
Starting point is 00:56:07 it's September 19th, sorry, 1630. This is the first murderer in English, European murderer who killed someone and got prosecuted and put to death. So he's our first murderer. It's pretty cool. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:26 I mean, you really could have, you really should be able to get off of that. I agree. First one out of the gate. There's never been a better, like, I don't know. Are we not killing him? Okay, I'm sorry. I thought we were doing.
Starting point is 00:56:36 I had no idea. Nobody told me. Nobody said anything. I shot him through the shoulder, by the way. What kind of weak ass bitch just dies from a shoulder shot? I was winning the shoulder by the way. What kind of weak ass bitch just dies from a shoulder shot? I was running the guy Jesus Christ. I mean take a bullet or like good lord. I didn't know we weren't doing that. Yeah
Starting point is 00:56:53 I did. Yeah now I won't do it again Let me ask you a question. Yeah, it Jesus if if If Jesus wanted him around Why would he? let me shoot him? Pretty good. Pretty good, honestly. Welcome to my court. Pretty good.
Starting point is 00:57:14 Yeah. Where everything that happens was supposed to happen because religion. Thank you. I like it. So Governor Bradford said they considered this all, quote, a great matter of sadness. Okay. Although come on, he annoyed the fuck out of them and no one liked non Puritans and they also killed Thomas Morton for having fun. So yeah, okay, bullshit. Bradford also wrote quote, he and some of his had often been punished for miscarriages
Starting point is 00:57:46 before being one of the profanist families amongst them. So no one knows where John Billington is buried, but probably on his property somewhere. That's just the way they did it back then, just bury on your property. I like that. I want to be buried in your property. You will. Okay. Okay. Wait.
Starting point is 00:58:06 Absolutely. 100%. Eleanor had now lost two members of her family in under three years. Yeah. Both John's. So they're Johnless. Yep. Damn.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Francis is now 21. The 1626 Division of Property had given him 20 acres and he now wanted to find a wife, start his own family. Sure. Eleanor did get the traditional widow's one third of John's property, so she had some property. Now the normal thing at a time like this for a woman who was widowed was to find a new husband. You just get back in the game.
Starting point is 00:58:44 Sure. But she was not having that. Okay. And no doubt the Puritans still had nothing but contempt for her and Francis. It's the name Billington. No one likes the Billingtons. So Francis worked as a part-time carpenter assistant for Francis Eaton, who had also been on the Mayflower, and he had gotten married three times. But then he died in 1633, and Frances then married Eaton's widow eight months later.
Starting point is 00:59:15 Okay, what, eight months? Very suspicious. Oh. Very suspicious. Right. To me, not to them, but to me. Eight months is very... Mm-hmm. Jesus. It's fast. Right to me not to them, but to me eight months is very Fast she already had three kids. Okay, Rachel Benjamin and one that just recorded as the idiot Who recorded that it's in the books. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:59:46 We don't know his name because he's just... So idiot was a separate... Is that what the doctor said when it was born? Oh, it's an idiot. He's trying to climb up out your throat. You've got an idiot. Look at this idiot. That was how they classified people who had mental issues.
Starting point is 01:00:03 Oh, right. Of course. Yeah, good times. So he's not medically... He's probably not bright or there's something wrong with him. Sure. He's handicapped or something. He's got some sort of issue and they're like, well, this idiot.
Starting point is 01:00:14 That was just what they did. That's cool. I probably didn't... The wind's sort of been taken out of my comedic sails in that one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably didn't... Your boy suffers from being an idiot. So... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They probably didn't do it. Your boy suffers from being an idiot. So...
Starting point is 01:00:28 Yeah, I knew. You didn't have to say it like that. Like, it was pretty obvious. Yeah, medically dumb. No, I, yeah, you don't have, he's here because he has a stomach ache. He tested positive for stupid. He has a stomach ache. We already know all this shit. We know. He's got shit in his brains. Someone shit in his brains.
Starting point is 01:00:43 Okay. Look! You're a doctor. He's got shit in his brains. So much shit in his brains. Look, you're a doctor. He's here because his stomach hurts. I know. Yep. Probably because he's just full of so much dumb crap. Okay. Your boy is a waste. Okay. Have you ever heard? Have you ever heard of done side us? No, because he's not a thing. He's got it real bad. You're making shit up that has nothing to do with wire work. Someone turned his mower on. He's an idiot. Very upright.
Starting point is 01:01:17 Yep. OK, thanks. I threw a rock at his head and he didn't even duck. Thanks for stopping by. Went right into his head. Really appreciate it. Where is he now? He's out in the yard.
Starting point is 01:01:31 Crying because his stomach hurts. Yeah. Yep. Boy. Look at him go. Well, you got to wonder what that kid would be like if he Don't. Just wasn't such a...
Starting point is 01:01:46 Say it. God damn... Well, I'll see you later. I'll see you later. I should probably go. Bye. Thanks. I think it's getting tense in here.
Starting point is 01:01:54 Yeah, no, it's really tense. Want me to back the wagon over him or something? Nope. Nope. He is my son. All right. Good luck. Don't have any more. So Rachel, Benjamin, the idiot, and then he got eaten son from his first marriage.
Starting point is 01:02:13 I swear to God, I thought you were about to say that he got eaten. That'd be a good ending. They had their own kid a year later, so Francis now has a pretty big family to take care of. Sure. In June 1636, Eleanor, she's now in her 50s, was found guilty of slandering a church deacon and this ex-assistant governor, and she was fined five pounds and, quote, a juror to be set in the stocks and be whipped. Shit. That's a lot.
Starting point is 01:02:44 Yeah. They put her in the stocks and whip her because she told some guy to fuck off basically. Wow. They probably wouldn't have put any other woman who arrives on the Mayflower and stocks. She was just particularly. The top dogs, the Mayflower people, the top dogs. Wouldn't have whipped her except she's a Billington.
Starting point is 01:03:02 Yeah. She's now living on pretty hard times. Frances can't do much to help her financially because he's got his family. He's still cranking out kids. By 1852, he had eight more kids. God damn. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:18 Go. Just at some point, anal, right? What? In 1637, same year Francis married, Eleanor needed money, so she's trying to sell land in Plymouth to a new colonist. It comes with houses and other buildings. That doesn't go through. So the following March, she grants the land to Francis.
Starting point is 01:03:42 With the stipulation, she'd be allowed to use some of the land to plant corn and she gets a small parcel to build a house on and have a garden. Sure, nice. And also Francis can't sell the land while she's alive unless she agrees to it. So in August 1638 she marries Gregory Armstrong, he's 69, she's 56.
Starting point is 01:04:06 She makes him sign a prenup. Wow. I can't believe some of the stuff that had existed back then is crazy. It really is. I would have never thought of. No, I feel like prenups started in the 80s in California. But even with a prenup, I wouldn't think a woman back
Starting point is 01:04:20 then would be able to do it. Yeah, a woman had the right to a prenup. Yeah. Yeah. She was bringing, this is all she had, she was bringing two marriages, two cows had the right to a prenup, yeah. She was bringing, this is all she had, she was bringing two marriages, two cows into the marriage, sorry, she was bringing two cows in, and she declared that if her husband lived longer, he would give each of her grandchildren, quote, two heifers of a year old.
Starting point is 01:04:42 And she's got a bunch of grandkids, like as I said. But her husband would also get the house and the land around it, so give up cows, get the land. So he obviously has no money. Right, yes. And she does die before him. We don't know how, but we just know that in 1850, they wrote that he died a widower.
Starting point is 01:05:03 So Francis is in bad shape. He gets sued for debt in 1639, and they have to sell off their land that his wife had gotten when her previous husband died, and then they had another kid, and records indicate they're really fucking poor. So, in January 1642, they lose the kids. Wow.
Starting point is 01:05:31 Magistrates quote, placing and disposing of Francis Billington's children according to the act and order of the court. So child services, they can't like clothe or feed them, so child services rolls in. The families they are placed with are ordered to give them meat, drink, and clothes in return for labor. Loving household. You get little worker kids.
Starting point is 01:06:00 All right. Well, you know the deal. Here's your meat. Go build a fence. Can we go sit at the table? Shut up. No, shut up with the dogs. Shut up. Go eat your bowl of lamb. Go eat your lamb. Just in a pile. Yeah. Eat and cook your lamb. It's like Korean barbecue. Throw it on the table.
Starting point is 01:06:26 So the boys are supposed to remain with their new masters until they're 21 and the girls 20. Wow. And the kids at this point, they're between five and 14. Oh my God. The Billingtons made it into another record book. Six-year-old Elizabeth Billington was the last female to be listed in Colony Records as entering into indentured servitude. Oh my God, so the final one. That sucks.
Starting point is 01:06:55 Yeah. All right, you go work for them for an indetermined amount of time. By the way, we're gonna get rid of that now. That's the end of the, wait, what? So am I free? No. No, no, no, because you're still doing it, By the way, we're going to get rid of that now. That's the end of that. That's gone. So am I free? No, no, no, no, because you're still doing it, but you're the last one.
Starting point is 01:07:09 Congratulations. We're not going to do that anymore. Anyway, finish your term out, okay? And your brother's free. Hey. Joseph Billington, who was six years old, ran away from his master's service several times. So Francis and his wife are brought to court to answer for this behavior, this terrible behavior.
Starting point is 01:07:35 Sure. Joseph had been- I mean, it's pretty easy to answer for. Yeah, Your Honor, it sucks. Yeah, he's eaten meat out of a bowl. His deal sucks. Yeah, I can't, there's nothing, he's eating meat out of a bowl. His deal sucks. Yeah, I can't. There's nothing. You remember you took them from me, right? You guys took my kids away and they're running, trying to run back to me and that's because they want
Starting point is 01:07:54 to be with their... But you're just not sure why your kid is such a... The insubordination is just off the charts. He likes his parents. He wants to be with us. I mean, he's simply, he's getting plenty of mutton. He could eat off the dusty floor. He's to be with us. I mean, he's simply, he's getting plenty, plenty of mutton. He could eat off the dusty floor. He's given a cot and in exchange for that, he just has a lot of things to clean up. I'm not sure what the Your honor, we're being told he was not given a cot. He's just got a little place on the dirt there.
Starting point is 01:08:19 Oh, whatever, whatever. He's got a dirt bed. You can dirt nap in it. That's great. Yeah, so, you know, not sure what this kid's problem is. He loves us. He wants to love. He likes to be with his parents, me and... You've lost the court because I'm not really sure what's going on anymore. That's fair. So, young Joseph had been led astray by his brother, who was 14, Benjamin, who had run away so much. They said he was dismissed from his slavery. I don't know what that means.
Starting point is 01:08:54 So that's your punishment for running away too much? You know what? Get out of here. This isn't going to work out. You're just not listening. And that's a big problem for us. So just get out. You're done. You're free. You're free. Well, that's a big problem for us. So just get out. You're done.
Starting point is 01:09:05 You're free. You're free. Well, that's it. That's it. You get freedom. Hope you're happy. I think they probably put him with someone else, right? Still.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Someone worse. So Francis and Christian were told if they accepted a runaway Joseph in their home, they would be put in the stocks. So now their kids can't run away to them because they get, yeah. And Benjamin was told he'd get the same punishment. He would also be put in stocks because he's 14 now. So you're old enough to be put in stocks. Oh yeah, it's time to stock. Yeah. Christian and Francis then had three, five more kids, sorry. Jesus Christ. Three of them lived to be adults. That's why I got mixed up. So they can't stop. They loved
Starting point is 01:09:45 it. Just bang. Yeah, really finishing on the inside. Francis was hauled back in a court for debt. Again, there are other miscellaneous charges. At this point, he had nine kids and three step children. I'm not sure how many are in his house. But either way, in 1665, the house burned down. Oh, shit. They're just not... It's just family. Should have stayed in England. These are the original Kennedys. No, because the Kennedys had a nice house. Oh, still.
Starting point is 01:10:15 The Billingsons moved to Middleborough, and Francis and Christian died in December 1684. He was 78 years old. In 1973. 19? 19. Okay. The overseers of the Plymouth plantation, so people who were like overseeing the original land. The OPP.
Starting point is 01:10:39 They're trying to make it like Williamsburg or whatever like redo it kind of deal. Sure. They decided an authentic. We should get a whole foods. Yeah. Go ahead. They decided an authentic house would be built where the Billington's lived. Right. So we build the Billington's house. Sure. Now, the way the way this worked is the family, it's been handed down through the years. They still own the land.
Starting point is 01:11:10 And usually when they made a decision, the Plymouth plantation overseers, the house would get built by the founders' descendants, because these are all rich people. All of the original Mayflower people are crazy fucking rich. Oh, they are in the 1900s. Yeah. I mean, those people all had original land and they all just kept making money because that's how it works. Once you have land. Uh, here's the problem with that. The Billingsons account has $4 in it. And that had been deposited by a staff member. So there's no money. The Billingtons are not, they still, years later, they don't have any fucking money. Right.
Starting point is 01:11:51 They're the family that didn't save. Yeah. Or they just, or they like, they never had any money. That never worked out. He's in debt back then. They never. Right. Nobody ever. $4. We should get some scratch offsoffs. No, Billingtons. Jesus Christ. Fucking listen to me. I'm going to use it to buy a sword. Ah, dude, this is great. And then we'll rob a bank. Let's put four dollars of gas in the motorcycle. Jesus, Billingtons. Listen to yourselves.
Starting point is 01:12:23 So the plantation staff built the house. But that's the story of the Billingtons. The Billingtons were the first, he's the first murderer, America's first murderer and a first death sentence. Last indentured servant. And then, yeah, last indentured servant. So they're kind of like the unluckiest. Yes.
Starting point is 01:12:42 People who came, the unluckiest pilgrims basically. I mean, had they been Puritans, they probably would have been fine and made a lot of money and been great, but they were persecuted and didn't get as much what they were owed. And they're still their Billingtons today. Oh, certainly. Yeah. Yeah. Because they kept having kids.
Starting point is 01:13:02 Yeah. There's Billingtons. Yeah, they had a lot of kids. So they probably, it's probably some person in, I mean, someone's probably going to correct me on this, but it's probably some guy who just like owns a mobile home somewhere in Ohio and he's like, I'm from the Mayflower Folk. Wow. What a weird little family. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:23 Well, shout out to the Billingtons. Shout out. I actually, I think Curtis Flood's kids started following me on Twitter. Is that true? I think so. Yeah. Wow. Nice.
Starting point is 01:13:35 I believe so. So if any Billingtons want to hop aboard the social media team, let's go. Get on board, girl. Let's go. Let's party. Well, let's take the hat off. The sources for this episode, thehistoryofmassachusetts.org, histarch.illinois.edu, Karen Racine, the human tradition of the Atlantic world, David Beale, the Mayflower Pilgrims.
Starting point is 01:14:07 James Dietz and Patricia Scott Dietz, the times of their lives. Love, life and death in the Mayflower Colony. Nathaniel Philbrick, Mayflower, a story of change, community and war. And Edward Winslow, Mort's retaliation, a Journal of the Pilgrims at Plymouth. All right everybody, so listen, as you probably know, I travel a lot, a ton, always on the road, always staying in places, and if I ever get to choose for myself, I always choose Airbnb over a hotel. It's just better, it's more like a home. Anyway, so look, I also recently started thinking
Starting point is 01:14:51 like while I'm gone can I turn my place into an Airbnb? And the answer is yes, it can be as easy as putting your place up, then you make a little more money on the side, just generate it from someone staying at my place while I'm on the road. So whether you can use a little extra money to cover some bills or for something more fun, your home might be worth more than you think. Find out how much at airbnb.ca slash host.

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